How to Fist with Finesse: A Guide to Vaginal Fisting

Fisting is when one partner puts her whole hand inside the other's vagina. Although the hand naturally curls up into a fist once inside the vagina, it is a gradual process of easing in more and more of the hand until the entire fist is inside. Having your pussy filled up completely can be an intense experience, and watching your arm disappear at the wrist into your lover's body can be an arousing thrill. Usually not a sex practice for a first date, fisting takes more care than does just slipping in a digit or two. Here are some tips to ease the way.

Female Couple Having Sex - By Annie Sprinkle

1. Work Together.
Think of fisting as a collaboration, not as something one partner does to the other. If the receptive partner is usually a pillow queen she may have to do a little more work than she's accustomed to. Similarly, wham-bam-thank-you- ma'am tops will have to cool their jets a bit.

2. Cut Your Nails.
The hand that's going in should have a manicure worthy of a reception with the Queen Mother. Any hangnails, ragged edges, corners, or rough spots should be smoothed away. Get those nails as short as you can.

3. Lube It Up.
Use lots and lots of water-based lube. Let it slop all over your fingers, and grease the wide part of your hand up with extra zeal. Keep applying lube as you go. Latex gloves, in addition to being a barrier against STDs, can make your fist even slicker.

4. Turn Her On.
Do the things that get you both turned on the most and go from there. While working in the wide part of the hand, use your mouth, the fingers of your other hand, or a vibrator for an extra jolt of clitoral sensation to increase her pleasure.

Female Couple Having Sex - By Annie Sprinkle

5. Relax.
As you go in, your lover should relax her cunt muscles as much as possible. One way to do this is to clench and hold the PC muscles tight, then with a big-sighing exhale, release that tightness. As she releases and relaxes, your hand will slide farther in.

6. Make Room.
The receiver should breathe deeply, while picturing her vagina opening up to receive her lover's hand. If she's lying on her back, she may find that stretching out and tilting her head back creates more room. With the spine stretched out, all the internal organs move up, creating more space and less pressure on the vagina.

7. Go All the Way.
As the fingers slide in, the thumb often curls under them to form a fist, although it's also possible for the thumb to be on the outside. The receiver may start to contract so much that the pressure on your hand is uncomfortable. Hang in there. If you pull out suddenly, you could hurt her.

8. Fill Her Up.
Once your hand is all the way in, aim more for filling her up than pumping in and out. Start by contracting and expanding your hand to create a feeling of fullness. Slow, small movements are best. You can increase the action as her cunt becomes accustomed to your fist.

9. Talk to Each Other.
Active communication and trust are necessary, so keep talking to let each other know what's up. Sometimes all the fistee wants is the feeling of being filled up by your hand, other times more hard-core fucking action is welcome.

Female Couple Having Sex - By Annie Sprinkle

10. Pulling Out.
When you are ready to pull out, tell her, so that she can work with you. She should relax and bear down as you slowly uncurl your fist and work your hand out. It's best to let her push you out while she's in the throes of orgasm.

Anal Fisting:
Anal fisting has a lot in common with vaginal fisting. Once again, key ingredients are relaxation, communication, and lube. Many find opening up anally more challenging than being vaginally receptive, so give yourself plenty of time and permission; go only as far as you want to go. While vaginally fisting, one should only use water-based lubricants; for anal play, oil-based lubes, which are thicker and longer-lasting, are better. Use plenty of lube and work your way in, one finger at a time. Deep breathing, consciously releasing clenched anal muscles, going slow, and staying tuned into your partner are key. While many people are under the false impression that only gay men enjoy anal fisting, you could be among the elite group of lesbian anal fisters who are happy to prove them wrong.

Article Reproduced with Permission of On Our Backs
Photographs Reproduced with Permission of Annie Sprinkle Ph.D.

Article Copyright Rachel Venning 2001
Originally Appeared in On Our Backs
Magazine June/July 2001

Photographs Copyright Annie Sprinkle 1993
Originally Appeared in On Our Backs
Magazine July/August 1993