Old Discussion Forum - From 2005 to 2009
Female Sexuality - 2009 Topics
| Topic ID | Post ID | Post Text | Date & Time |
| 964 | 6338 | When I was young I couldn't stand any touch to my nipples. The feeling was too intensely sexual and unexpected so I avoided nipple stimulation. Although I masturbated regularly, I did not include my breasts. When I was 13 and going through puberty, I had a dream about submitting to another girl fondling my nipples. The sensation was almost unbareable, but the dream made the connection to the erotic for me. Ever since I have incorporated nipple stimulation in my self-foreplay and have been fortunate enough to have found sex partners who enjoyed nipple stimulation as well. I prefer a light touch, and find my nipples give the most pleasing sensations when they are soft and dry. Hard, they just seem less sensitive. Wet, they get sore quickly. When I was 25 and found myself single I began experimenting in earnest with nipple stimulation. I started out going for duration, first 5 minutes of steady stroking, then 10, 20. Finally I worked up to sessions of an hour or more of slow, gentle nipple stimulation and would be just about out of my mind. I'd need to lay towels on the bed because I would be so wet. Sometimes, during these long stimulations the nipples would become sore, but in time I learned to stimulate through that, transmuting the slight pain into a pleasurable sensation. That is to say it didn't hurt badly, and the slight soreness combined with the stimulation just added to the experience. Sometimes I would apply suction to the nipples that was operated by breath through a tube. It created wonderful sensations. And this is what I discovered from these sessions. That when I finally did allow myself orgasm, not only was it a powerful orgasm, but the pleasure waves traveled through my whole body and orgasmic waves pulsed out from my nipples. The experience of getting this strong tingling in my nipples without even touching them was amazing. Even better, I found that afterwards my nipples were super sensitive. Sometimes they would tingle pleasurably at unexpected moments in the day. Sometimes enough to arouse me. My nipples felt at a whole new level. When I discovered a lump in my right breast I had it checked out, but after all the diagnostic procedures it was found to be a benign cyst. I had quit my stimulation routine at that time worried that it may be adversely effecting me. But now I have done research and found that the best thing to prevent breast cancer is nipple stimulation. Yay! I have also become interested in the tantric concepts of channeling sexual energy through other parts of the body, but most of these center on little physical stimulation, lots of meditation and resistance to orgasms. In my experience, it has been the overstimulation of my nipples that brought me closest to this state of full-body orgasm. I thus far, have not been able to reach orgasm by nipple stimulation alone. (Though I would love to). Orgasm avoidance is torture! If I go too long stimulated without release (say more than 6 hours) I get a headache so my practice with stimulation and orgasm abstinence hasn't been good. I also have the problem that if I don't orgasm I stay horny and practically need to wear diapers because I get so wet. Being wet all the time is the hardest part for me in having the will power to keep from orgasming, second only to the headaches. Recently I re-sensitized my nipples, it was three hours of heaven, and had the first one of those nipple-spasming, shooting waves of pleasure orgasms in years. My nipples tingle pleasantly whenever they erect and I've noticed a lessening of the usual aches and pains in my body. When I use suction I sometimes get a tiny drop of clear fluid from each nipple. I am not pregnant or lactating, I just think this is from the intense stimulation. I feel good about this fluid removal for my overall health. I would like to know if anyone out there has any experiences like this and could offer me some support or guidance or would just like to share their own. Sometimes I feel like I'm on my own with this, I wonder if others try to see what new levels they can take these things to. This is just my own experience, and I thought I'd share. LL | 2009-01-03 20:29:57 |
| 964 | 6340 | Lolita, I am sure you will receive a lot of comment on your post. May I just say that prolonged arousal without the release of an orgasm can lead to pelvic congestion, which could lead to further problems with some very delicate tissue.& Frustration from non release may well be frustrating, but it could lead to worse matters. If you are aroused, no matter for how long, it is healthier to finally find release from the tension. | 2009-01-03 21:33:45 |
| 964 | 6341 | Frankie24, Thanks for your response. I think you are very right. I definitely seem to need the release of orgasm in order to feel all the positive benefits of sexual activity. The fact that I get headaches when I go too long without release also tells me that I need release after awhile. Thanks again for your wise words and concern. Peace. LL | 2009-01-03 21:40:59 |
| 964 | 6343 | Actually Frankie, your astute observation got me thinking about another observation I made recently. During my last period I had some pretty nasty menstral cramps, not worse than usual, but I was also having some aching pain near my tail bone. When I masturbated I noticed after I was very aroused, that the pain had gone away. I enjoyed the long masturbation and then had an orgasm. The orgasmic spasms were barely over when the pain came back suddenly. Remembering what bliss I was in while aroused and pain-free, I worked myself back up to the arousal stage and once again the pain left. Instead of having an orgasm this time I got up and went about my day. This provided hours of pain relief! And I was delighted I had the pain relief and an overall pleasant feeling from my own body instead of from a drug. After a while I'd need to take a break and stimulate myself some more or the pain would come creeping back. Eventually I got my usual sexual tension headache, but it was so mild that it seemed a fair trade off for the other pain I'd felt earlier. I think it was easier for me to deny myself orgasms because I had my period at the time and it's harder for me to get them at that time. Maybe it's my body's way of allowing the sexual energy to be during those days for something other than orgasm. I didn't feel frustrated during this, actually I felt quite at peace. I'm thinking maybe it's okay to masturbate and forego orgasm during those first couple days of a period. My body seems to go along with it well. Any thoughts on this? | 2009-01-04 04:09:09 |
| 964 | 6344 | Hi Lolita ... very interesting post! I too sometimes get a headache if I don't orgasm after prolonged masturbation. I worry about it a little bit ... I hope I'm not gonna have a stroke or something! But then having an orgasm always makes the headache go away. Regarding the nipple stimulation ... you didn't mention if you've ever nursed a baby, but it kinda sounds like not. When I was nursing I experienced many of the same things you mention. And then after nursing,& my nipples were more sensitive than before, which my husband really liked, but& I had to be a little more careful about going without a bra. I've never orgasm'd from nipple stimulation alone either, but I've heard of women that supposedly did. I never masturbate during my period, so I can't comment on your pain relief technique. But that's a great idea! | 2009-01-04 18:58:24 |
| 964 | 6345 | Your experience re orgasms and your period are contrary to what my wife had before her menopause. Periods were a painful time for her until, quite by chance, she had an orgasm at a time when the pain was quite stressful. To the pleasant surprise of us both, the pain eased, and next day was gone altogether. We wondered whether there was a connection, so the following month, as PMT set in, we sought an orgasm for her, and the result was the same. So for her, an orgasm with the onset of her period was the solution, and that remained her experience for the remainder of her menstruating life. So, it depends on the individual, doesn't it?;) | 2009-01-04 19:24:44 |
| 964 | 6346 | My nipples are sensitive but no enough to achieve orgasm by manual or tongue stimulation& it helps a lot to get to the point of climax. I masturbated during my periods and the cramps diminished ore went away; in spiteof the cramps I was always in a state of aorousal during the whole period. Also nursing increased their sensitivity and pleasurable sensations luisa | 2009-01-04 19:36:27 |
| 964 | 6347 | Honeysuckle: Thank you for your feedback. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets a headache if I don't orgasm after prolonged arousal. I have been prone to sever migrains (not sex related) so I don't like to mess around with headaches too much. Often an orgasm can make an oncoming headache go away, that or eating something. Some of what coincides with powerful pleasure and orgasms could be confused or taken for stroke symptoms, racing heart, blurred vision, etc. It can be a little scary but I guess that's the excitement in it. I've never nursed a baby or been pregnant or plan to be pregnant. (health concern paired with dislike of kids.) I LOVE the idea of lactation though and wish I could do it. You say you never masturbate during your period so I am guessing that, like me, your sex drive is decreased at this point. I only used nipple stimulation at this time. My nipples were tender and I needed to handle them gently, but the mixture of pain and pleasure was lovely when I relaxed and allowed myself to focus on it. Frankie: Thank you for sharing with me your wife's experiences with pain relief. I am at present, fascinated by the body's ability to make its own natural pain killers and narcotics. I give your wife a lot of credit for paying attention to her body and learning how to ease her pain in this very healthy way. You too for being there to help her. I agree that we are all individual when it comes to our physical reactions, needs, etc. The main source of pain for me when the above incident occurred was not just the menstural cramps, but this persistent aching that I'd had to the left of my tailbone, perhaps something related to the sciatic nerve. That was the specific pain I was using my sexual arousal to treat and I was very pleased at trading a couple of days being sexually aroused for those same days in pain. I actually think it did more than just relieve the pain, I think it also helped relieve the underlying cause. I know my body and its strange aches and pains and that felt like one that was going to hang on for months, but I was able to take advantage of my low sexual appetite during my period to get enough of the arousal hormones going for long enough to help. Prior to my period I would have been out of my mind trying this. ('javascript:emoticon(';)',%20'images/emoticons/wink.gif') Luisa: Thank you for your reply. I see I'm not alone here with not being able to get an orgasm from nipple stimulation. I read somewhere that by spending sessions of stimulation but not allowing orgasm (that is to say, other than spontaneous nipple orgasm) that the body can be worked into a heightened state as to make orgasm happen from the nipple stimulation alone. I see the logic in it but... darn that seems difficult. And like I said before with the headaches, constant arousal and wetness, I'm not sure I'd be able to survive. I find my periods enjoyable. There's a feeling that it's okay to get aroused because measures have all ready been put in place to catch the fluid. I generally feel cozy during that time and aroused, though I have to really work to achieve orgasms. The hint I seem to be getting from my body is if I want to work with orgasm abstinence, the best time to do it is when I'm on the rag. ;);) | 2009-01-04 21:24:14 |
| 964 | 6352 | During my period I find my pussy to feel swollen and engorged the first couple days, and it makes orgasms come quicker and easier.& And that relieves menstrual pain.& I guess everybody is different! | 2009-01-06 14:25:23 |
| 964 | 6355 | Hi secret, thanks for sharing. Everyone is different, but we seem to be showing a definite trend towards arousal and orgasm contributing to pain relief. The endorphins our bodies release are very similar to opiates. The pain relief it gave me for my tail-bone area pain was unlike drug pain killers in the pain was not merely masked or muted but gone! I had a nice buzz too, that I can only describe as an overall good, cozy feeling. My gut feeling is also that it somehow cured the cause of the pain. I once had a boyfriend that had a toothache. He had very sensitive nipples and I gently fondled them with my fingers for about two hours as we watched a basketball game together. The pain went away for him and we spent an enjoyable evening. He was of course, hard as a rock but not very desirous of orgasm that night as I recall. I am very interested in the medicinal uses of sexuality because I believe we have a wealth of power gifted to us in our own bodies. | 2009-01-07 00:32:50 |
| 964 | 6360 | I am very interested in the medicinal uses of sexuality because I believe we have a wealth of power gifted to us in our own bodies. Fascinating idea. Fucking for health ... I like it! | 2009-01-07 17:31:54 |
| 965 | 6356 | Hi, I'm a 26 year old woman and ever since I've been sexual the ONLY thing that can make me orgasm is to fantasize about being spanked.& I know this isn't that abnormal and I'm not ashamed of it, but I wish I could find other things arouse me too.& Sometimes when I'm with my boyfriend, I'm in a really sweeet mood and don't want to think about that, but when that happens I just fake coming because there's no other way it will happen.& Does anyone know of a way you can train yourself to be aroused by something else? | 2009-01-07 00:35:46 |
| 965 | 6357 | Yes, there is a way. I don't know if you're experienced at all with meditation, but it can serve as a great tool to deepen your arousal. Start out simply, lying someplace comfortable and breathe slowly focusing on your breath. You can imagine peace and relaxation filling you on the inbreath, and stress, tension or anything that's bothering you can be released on the outbreath. Once you are very relaxed, try to clear your mind and touch your body. Don't fantasize about anything, just concentrate on how you feel. Touch your nipples and allow yourself to relax and feel the sensation there. Explore your cunt, both with your fingers and your mind as you take in the sensations. This can really help you to make a direct connection with your body and be less dependent on fantasy. I like to do this sometimes. A lot of my fantasies run along the sm line too, but just being able to clear your mind and focus on your raw sexual feeling is a nice change of pace. | 2009-01-07 00:55:17 |
| 965 | 6395 | [user=14336]adi[/user] wrote: "Hi, I'm a 26 year old woman and ever since I've been sexual the ONLY thing that can make me orgasm is to fantasize about being spanked. I know this isn't that abnormal and I'm not ashamed of it, but I wish I could find other things arouse me too. Sometimes when I'm with my boyfriend, I'm in a really sweeet mood and don't want to think about that, but when that happens I just fake coming because there's no other way it will happen. Does anyone know of a way you can train yourself to be aroused by something else? " Hi adi, Im going to take another angle, as I relate to your question. I would bet good money if I took a poll, And asked with a show of hands "how many would like to cum hard & consistantly & all they had to do was think of spanking". I think alotta hands would fly up. Both Male & female. Ok I can't speak for every one, but my vote for sure! And the only one not raising there hands is you. And your the only one that really matters, cuz this is your thing. Because you have made something wrong about it, in some way shape or form. You have found something really wonderful & spectacular about yourself, that is harmless, fun & ohhh so rewarding sexually & are looking for ways to find some fault with it. Are we talking about a spanking or a beating? Ok you say you know it's not abnormal & that your not ashamed of it. So why isn't your Boyfriend knowing all about it, to the point of doing it for you? It may feel silly & goofy getting the words out, but wouldn't you just love a good spankin from him, every time. You don't mention discussing it with him. Doesn't sound weird to me! You say, You fake it, all I can say is "Please don't do that". You say you wish you could find other things to arouse you. Clearly you are not seeing the "spanking" as the cherry on top of your sundae. The way "You" like it. You have all the kissing & touching & sucking & licking & thrusting doncha? Don't all those things arouse you & trigger you to the next idea & the next idea. Isn't so much of sex our own imaginations & not so much what the other is doing? Lets take your taste in clothes at 5, 10, 15, 20, 26. Hasn't it changed drasticly? So will your sexual tastes & desires.You will add somethings & take some away. It's like with everything in life. I think a really great question for everyone would be whats your "trigger"? Maybe you didn't know this, but I think most of us have them. Mine is the word "daddy" not as in My Father or anyone's Father. I just get off on the "word". Some may say how sick! And an abundance of other's enjoy this harmless pleasure. And ya think i'm out telling the world? Naughty stuff feels naughty & naughty feels good! And now to your original question.. Yes at 48 I can tell you it is possible to change fantasies that arouse. But I would say #1 why would you want to? And #2 This can be done, but only if you want to. If you still want to change this about yourself, because you truly think it has a negative affect on your life. Watching the movie "the Secret may help you to shift your thoughts or appreciate the ones you have... | 2009-01-15 02:45:24 |
| 965 | 6396 | [user=6370]Lovergirl[/user] wrote: "[user=14336]adi[/user] wrote: "Hi, I'm a 26 year old woman and ever since I've been sexual the ONLY thing that can make me orgasm is to fantasize about being spanked.& I know this isn't that abnormal and I'm not ashamed of it, but I wish I could find other things arouse me too.& Sometimes when I'm with my boyfriend, I'm in a really sweeet mood and don't want to think about that, but when that happens I just fake coming because there's no other way it will happen.& Does anyone know of a way you can train yourself to be aroused by something else? " Hi adi, Im going to take another angle, as I relate to your question. I would bet good money if I took a poll, And asked with a show of hands "how many would like to cum hard & consistantly & all they had to do was think of spanking". I think alotta hands would fly up. Both Male & female. Ok I can't speak for every one, but my vote for sure! And the only one not raising there hands is you. And your the only one that really matters, cuz this is your thing. Because you have made something wrong about it, in some way shape or form. You have found something really wonderful & spectacular about yourself, that is harmless, fun & ohhh so rewarding sexually & are looking for ways to find some fault with it. Are we talking about a spanking or a beating? Ok you say you know it's not abnormal & that your not ashamed of it. So why isn't your Boyfriend knowing all about it, to the point of doing it for you? It may feel silly & goofy getting the words out, but wouldn't you just love a good spankin from him, every time. You don't mention discussing it with him. Doesn't sound weird to me! You say, You fake it, all I can say is "Please don't do that". You say you wish you could find other things to arouse you. Clearly you are not seeing the "spanking" as the cherry on top of your sundae. The way "You" like it. You have all the kissing & touching & sucking & licking & thrusting doncha? Don't all those things arouse you & trigger you to the next idea & the next idea. Isn't so much of sex our own imaginations & not so much what the other is doing? Lets take your taste in clothes at 5, 10, 15, 20, 26. Hasn't it changed drasticly? So will your sexual tastes & desires.You will add somethings & take some away. It's like with everything in life. I think a really great question for everyone would be whats your "trigger"? Maybe you didn't know this, but I think most of us have them. Mine is the word "daddy" not as in My Father or anyone's Father. I just get off on the "word". Some may say how sick! And an abundance of other's enjoy this harmless pleasure. And ya think i'm out telling the world? Naughty stuff feels naughty & naughty feels good! And now to your original question.. Yes at 48 I can tell you it is possible to change fantasies that arouse. But I would say #1 why would you want to? And #2 This can be done, but only if you want to. If you still want to change this about yourself, because you truly think it has a negative affect on your life. Watching the movie "the Secret may help you to shift your thoughts or appreciate the ones you have..." I think you wildly misunderstood adi.& I think the point is that she gets tired of having to resort to the same fantasy over and over again, and when she's not in the mood to do so she's unable to enjoy herself due to frustration. Ask yourself if you would raise your hand if you had to give up every other kind of sexual pleasure in order to orgasm from the fantasy of being spanked.& Would you?& I certainly wouldn't trade variety for a single, solitary trigger. To ADI: I don't think you can train yourself to be aroused by something new in particular, but I think you can broaden your own horizons.& My advice is partially like LolitaLynn's.& Meditate. Meditate, but not on one thing.& Don't follow her step-by-step advice, because such detailed advice is too personally tailored for an individual.& When you meditate, do so by stepping back from yourself.& If breathing techniques work for you, then do so.& If sitting by yourself at sunset lets you clear your mind, or if certain kinds of music allow you to break free of the moment, then do that instead.& Find something that works for you, it doesn't matter what. Once you're able to do this, do some soul searching and try to figure out just what it is about the spanking that allows you to orgasm.& Ask yourself a lot of "why" questions and dig as deep as you can.& Most fantasy, as with pretty much anything in the human psyche, consists of many layers of meaning.& As you find different aspects of what the spanking fantasy means to you, start trying to see the essence of the fantasy in other situations.& Approach sexual encounters from a different psychological angle and seek different situations or actions that provide that same need for you. Mind, this kind of self discovery is not something you necessarily accomplish by sitting and looking out the window for 20 minutes.& It may be a journey that takes you months or even years to complete.& You may not have the temperament to do it at all.& Be patient.& Ignore the literal, or the surface of things.& What I mean is this: don't go looking for a certain thing and try to force yourself to fit into it.& Instead, look for signs of a "trail" and follow them mentally, but don't try to see or anticipate the end result. | 2009-01-15 21:26:45 |
| 965 | 6397 | Of course you can. I firmly belive that our sexualities become "programmed" into us based on a variety of experiances. For example, I used to date a guy who was a bit of a hippie... and he always smelled very strongly of patchouli. My brain began to associate the smell of patchouli with sex, and now, years later, I still become aroused if I smell patchouli. The things that arouse us or trigger us can be changed... but it would take a lot of time, and besides which, I pretty much think that our triggers become programed into us through subconcious means, so I dont know if you can consiously do it. Perhapes as mentioned above, some forms of meditiation could help. However, my advice is this. If your into spanking, why not try exploring more into that realm? You might find you like other BDSM and kinky things too, which would give you a wider range of activies to not only think about, but try out ;) | 2009-01-15 22:07:02 |
| 965 | 6399 | I'm sorry if my meditation advice came across sounding step-by-step and overly tailored. I didn't mean it that way and what I was trying to say was more like what dfs was saying and maybe s/he helped to clarify it. I meant mainly to relax in whatever way works for you and clear your mind, allowing the sensations and images to come to you freely. What dfs added to it is very true, you need to use what works for you as an individual. | 2009-01-16 06:20:41 |
| 966 | 6365 | I don't know if anyone out there has heard or read anything about the tantric and taoist teachings on sex. These have many men frantically with-holding their semen, denying themselves orgasm, practicing retrograde ejaculation (into the bladder), prostate milking and all kinds of weird things to save up their sexual fluid and the apparent energy it has. Course I've also heard of a lot of prostate damage being the result of this. I came across an interesting thing on the web called KSMO (Key Sounds for Multiple Orgasms) and you have to give them money to unlock the screts of the ages that are supposedly our birthright. Ahem. It's some kind of masturbational meditation that involves nipple stimulation and apparently making noise. (Would be strange for me, I'm deathly silent in bed) But anyway, they have a very interesting forum and their users (if they're not all the same person) seem to have found a way to not ejaculate (the males) but have multiple energy orgasms. And females are having them too, claiming they're much better than those by direct stimulation. Now part of this "practice" as they call it involves a period of orgasm abstinance in order to feel these subtle energy sensations. So I want to know what the fug is going on! I don't want to pay some shmuck for his crazy recordings. If he can figure it out, I'm sure it could be figured out. As I said on my other thread, the closest I've come to reaching anything like the states these KSMO users describe has been through intense stimulation. If you feel like checking it out on the web and letting me know if you have any insights about it, let me know. I'm not trying to sell anything, I am in fact very skeptical about this and am only bringing it up here for discussion. I read an amazing account from some guy who claims to have two 2-hour masturbation sessions each week and allows himself orgasm only every 4 months. What is it like to live like that? I try to imagine... always feel like I fall short somehow. I'd be afraid, like I'd go out of my mind and become a raving loon... or go join the ducks down and the pond thinking I've become one of them... something like that. Yet the curiosity almost makes me want to try it. What if there are much higher levels of sexual feeling that I have yet to experience? I also read something that sounded absolutely perposerous, that a "sexually continent" woman has control over her sexual and menstral fluids. HOOOOOWWWW???? So to wrap up, has anyone encountered any intense "energy" experiences either through stimulation or denial of orgasm? Any meditation tips that might help me experience hands free (I'd be happy with nipple only) orgasms? Any guidance at all would be helpful, even sharing experiences that we may study this together. I do beleive there is something to the human sexual energy and that it is powerful, but it's hard to sort through the bs about it. | 2009-01-07 18:31:56 |
| 968 | 6382 | hi, i am 25, i have a problem that i observed few days back. my labia minora are not identical (thats not problem). one of them has a permanent bump along its outer boundary which sometimes pains around my periods. the actual problem is that on another i have developed a pimple like structure, that pains when it is touched even when grazed against panty. do i need to seel medical help or is it alright n go awy on its own. do i have anyserious problem? | 2009-01-10 15:55:52 |
| 968 | 6383 | Please look under "Bumps and Lumps" on the page linked to below, for a likely answer. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_health.htm | 2009-01-10 18:35:56 |
| 968 | 6384 | And what was the question? | 2009-01-10 20:50:10 |
| 969 | 6385 | Story Highlights CDC: Women, minorities, 15- to 24-year-olds bear greatest STD burden Progress in eliminating syphilis has, to some extent, been reversed STDs cost the U.S. health care system as much as $15.3 billion annually ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- In spite of prevention efforts, new cases of some of the most common sexually transmitted diseases are going up, according to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Much of the burden of STDs falls on adolescents and people in their early 20s, the CDC says. [img]i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/img/2.0/mosaic/base_skins/baseplate/corner_wire_BL.gif[/img] The report, "Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance 2007," also said that women and minorities in particular are more likely to have sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs. That fact isn't surprising, experts say, as studies on STDs in the past have also shown that women and minorities bear the greatest burden of STDs. The age of those affected hasn't changed much either -- nearly 19 million new sexually transmitted infections occur each year, and almost half of those affect 15- to 24-year-olds. The CDC began a national syphilis elimination program in the late 1990s, targeted at African-American heterosexuals, especially women and their babies. As a result, the condition was nearly eradicated as an ongoing health problem in the United States. But in the last two years, the trend has reversed, said Dr. John Douglas, director of the CDC's Division of STD Prevention. "The success we've been experiencing for a number of years in African-American heterosexual populations, particularly women, is beginning to be eroded," he said. Syphilis resurfaced as a danger in 2001, and cases went up by 15.2 percent between 2006 and 2007, the [url=topics.cnn.com/topics/centers_for_disease_control_and_prevention]CDC said. Reported cases of chlamydia and gonorrhea together surpassed 1.4 million in 2007, the report said. Both of these conditions can cause infertility when left untreated. The CDC will address HIV rates in the United States in a later report. Health Library [url=www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/chlamydia/DS00173.html] MayoClinic.com: Chlamydia [url=www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/gonorrhea/DS00180.html] MayoClinic.com: Gonorrhea [url=www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/std-testing/ID00047.html] MayoClinic.com: STD testing: What to know before your appointment A record number of chlamydia cases were reported nationally this year, the report said. But Douglas noted that a major strategy is detecting infection before it spreads, so each case is an opportunity to prevent ongoing transmission. Chlamydia is the most common reportable STD and infectious disease, he said. Since the early 1980s, there has been a dramatic downturn in gonorrhea cases, but for the last 10 years, the rates have leveled off, especially in African-American populations. The CDC is looking at a number of ways to create awareness of the problem, he said. [url=topics.cnn.com/topics/sexually_transmitted_diseases]STDs affect not only individuals' health, but also the economy, the CDC said -- the conditions cost the U.S. health care system as much as $15.3 billion annually. The report reflects what Dr. Yolanda Wimberly, assistant professor of clinical pediatrics at the Morehouse School of Medicine and the medical director for the Center for Excellence in Sexual Health, sees in the clinics where she works. In her 14 years of practicing, she has been diagnosing more and more cases of chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea, she said. Based on the report and her own observations, it's safe to say that some of the prevention efforts are not working, Wimberly said. New, innovative methods will be required to get through to this generation of young people, for whom text messaging and the Internet are integral parts of daily life. Many people hold the misconception that STDs come along with a visible sign, such as irregular discharge or a rash or bump. But, in fact, most STDs do not present symptoms, she said. "That's how STDs are so easily spread," she said. "It's not people who know they have gonorrhea and who go out say, 'I'm going to spread it to all these people.' It's the people who don't even know, who maybe don't get checked up regularly." It's important to be screened at least once annually, even twice a year for younger people, Wimberly said. She offers to test everyone who comes into her office for STDs, even if they do not have any symptoms or came to see her for a different reason, if they haven't been tested in at least the last six months. However, not all doctors are so conscientious about STD testing, Douglas said. Particularly in nonminority populations, doctors are inclined to think, "The young woman sitting in front of me looks pretty healthy, she looks pretty respectable -- she wouldn't have a sexually transmitted disease, right?" Douglas said. "We simply miss those screening opportunities." Other doctors simply don't want to broach the subject of sex with their adolescent female patients, he said. There's also the problem of access to health care -- some women do not have physicians for this reason. Current prevention efforts include promoting awareness of STDs, personal protective behaviors such as limiting partners and using condoms, and screening programs, Douglas said. A key area to work on is normalizing conversations about STDs and sexual health, he said. "If the parents assume that's the doctor's business, or the teacher's business, and don't roll up their sleeves and get in there themselves, and if our schools aren't giving comprehensive education, and if our clergy and other community leaders who are interested in youth well-being aren't including sexual health on the agenda, we're going to create missed opportunities." [url=www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/13/std.report.cdc/index.html] www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/13/std.report.cdc/index.html | 2009-01-13 20:06:39 |
| 971 | 6401 | Hi all, I'm new here, so please take this topic down if it is inappropriate! Anyway. I'm a nineteen y/o guy, and have been with my girlfriend for about 15 months (so far! :p). She is the first person that I have had a romantic relationship with, and is coming up on her twenty-first birthday. She has only had one previous relationship, which lasted around three months. My problem is this: she has never experienced an orgasm. Sex with her is always mind-blowing for me, but I always feel like I leave her unsatisfied. We've talked about it and she always tells me that it's no big deal, because she doesn't know what she's missing out on. But she means the world to me, and I dearly wish I could give her the pleasure she deserves. However, I have no idea why I can't give her an orgasm. I've tried oral, being intense, going slow, with and without foreplay, chocolate sauce (mmm... :p), blindfolds, various positions and locations and nothing has worked (so far). Because she's my first partner, I'm unsure as to whether it's my own inexperience hindering the process or something else. Has anyone had a similar experience? Or can someone offer advice? Anything would be greatly appreciated :). Kind regards, Eric | 2009-01-18 07:24:00 |
| 971 | 6403 | From your post it sounds like she's never had an orgasm and never gave herself one from masturbating. This is probably not the answer you're looking for, but I think she may need to figure out how to give herself one. If she doesn't know how to do it for herself, there's no way she can tell you how to. Women are all different in what turns them on and what kind of stimulation brings them to orgasm. I think she will have to take some initiative and explore herself and find what works for her. If the two of you can talk openly about it, that's a good start. Informative sites like this might be a help to her. Encourage her to pleasure herself and don't be offended if it is something she needs to do for herself behind closed doors. I wish you both the best and hope she gets to enjoy an orgasm soon. | 2009-01-18 23:54:46 |
| 971 | 6404 | Ah. That makes sense! Thank-you :). I bought a vibrator for her this arvo while in town. Hopefully it'll help, as she won't need me around! Hehe. | 2009-01-19 01:47:24 |
| 971 | 6457 | ah well, like LL said, if she can't give herself one, you probably can't. The vibrator is a great idea.& I had my first orgasm with one at 23 and 4 years later I've progressed to coming during sex without touching myself... took a lot of work and frustration.. I have in the process collected a lot of books on orgasm and sex (all proudly kept in the living room for all my friends to see :cool:) but what helped me the most was these two: Woman's Orgasm by Kline-Graber and Graber Sex for One by Betty Dodson & She's missing out on a lot... I've been there I know! | 2009-01-23 15:12:32 |
| 971 | 6463 | Hi there Kay, Thanks for your reply :p! I'll try to find both of them in a bookstore. She's away for another 20 days overseas, so if I can't find them in a shop I'll have time to get them from the internet. (I live in NZ, and I haven't ever tried to find books like these, so I may not be able to). Thanks again for your input :). Kind regards, Eric | 2009-01-26 04:46:41 |
| 973 | 6405 | I have a fantasy of being horny and penetrated with a sex toy that I can wear under my clothes and walk around with without anyone knowing it's there. I'd like to try it out, but have a couple of questions. First, what kind of devise should I get? I was thinking a dildo with a large enough base that it wouldn't go all the way in. I'm also curious to try one of those metal egg shaped things from India that can be inserted. Does anyone know of a good product for this? My vagina tends to be tight, so I'd need something on the smaller size, and safety is a big concern. I want something that is absolutely not going to get stuck up there. Thank you very much in advance. LL | 2009-01-19 10:11:05 |
| 973 | 6406 | Hi Loly..first: noting going to be stuck in your vagina (in the anus it can be stuck if you let it go all the way inside). You can buy the wenba balls that are metallic and vibrate when you walk or a vibrator you can controll(egg shaped) or a remote controlled vibrator that can be activated at will by you or your partner even in public places(is fantastic). Afriend of mine just put her cell phone in vibbrate and put it inside her panties on top of her cliit and just get her cell dialed, just a cheap way but works..lol& :D & love luisa | 2009-01-19 13:13:55 |
| 973 | 6407 | Hi, I believe there are many naughty women who have already fulfilled this personal fantasy. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] There are many items of this type available from adult stores, things like remote controlled egg vibrators, and vibrating panties. As far as safety, women insert tampons into their vagina for hours on end without a second thought. Frictional irritation would be a concern, if they moved about, especially if they project out of the vagina. I knew one woman who was inserting small objects into her vagina, after placing them inside a condom; not drugs in this case. :P "This week we went out dancing at the same club/hotel as last week, but just to torment Dee a little, I made her put her chastity belt on first. The black plug locked into the front shield of the belt is a wireless remote-controlled vibrator." "The most frustrating time was when she took one of the girls out of town for a doctor's appointment in preparation for surgery. Mick put the belt on her and waved goodbye. Mother and daughter drove three hours to the specialist. To Dee's surprise, the doctor said that things were progressing well, and he could do the surgery the next day. So Dee spent the night in the hotel room having to hide the belt from our daughter, the next day at the clinic, and then the drive home. Dee spent almost two days in the belt that time. " [url=luvbight.com/mesh/galleries/p0311cb/index.html] luvbight.com/mesh/galleries/p0311cb/index.html I recommend Duotone balls and the like, on the website. Basically, balls on a string. If there is the chance of the item falling out :shock:, say if you are wearing dress, then you can attach the item to a decorative waist chain. Items made of silicone and stainless steel wont absorb body fluids. If friction is a possible problem, use a long lasting lubricant; water based lubes are condom safe, but don't generally last long. The balls you mention would be very difficult to hold in place, unless you have very strong muscles and great muscle control. Ben Wa balls would also tend to be too small to be felt, and would also roll out. The balls linked to below come in two sizes, the size of an average size and large penis. They would likely need to be held in place by snug fitting undies and jeans. [url=www.luckycat.com/tbas/tf.php?src=md%2Fhealthballs1a.jpg&page=page17-3&ax=_HE-EB&w=440&h=308] www.luckycat.com/tbas/tf.php?src=md%2Fhealthballs1a.jpg&page=page17-3&ax=_HE-EB&w=440&h=308 Brad | 2009-01-19 13:24:18 |
| 973 | 6410 | [user=19]luisa1[/user] wrote: "Hi Loly..first: noting going to be stuck in your vagina (in the anus it can be stuck if you let it go all the way inside). You can buy the wenba balls that are metallic and vibrate when you walk or a vibrator you can controll(egg shaped) or a remote controlled vibrator that can be activated at will by you or your partner even in public places(is fantastic). Afriend of mine just put her cell phone in vibbrate and put it inside her panties on top of her cliit and just get her cell dialed, just a cheap way but works..lol& :D & love luisa " Hmm, reminds me of a night on the town when the girls decided to compare cell phone vibrators. :D | 2009-01-19 16:59:10 |
| 973 | 6411 | You might try looking for something like this www.flirtylingerie.com/venus-penis-rotating-vaginal-stimulator.html There are all kinds of vibrating panties and sex toys with straps made for this purpose to keep the toy from falling out/off. You may also consider looking for strap-on harnesses as some of them come with smaller plugs for the wearer.& You'd just use it without the dildo on the front.& I'd suggest looking for something like the one I linked because it's a bit less bulky than a lot of strap on harnesses are likely to be, so it wouldn't impair your walking around. Also, the straps are probably not as soft as panties and might be rough, so the smaller straps may also help reduce unwanted friction. | 2009-01-19 21:33:52 |
| 973 | 6423 | Well, it's good to know things can't get stuck up there, but I'm still a little nervous. This is kind of embarrassing, the type of thing one would only admit online. ;) I don't own a dildo so I've had to be creative with sex toys. I had this one screwdriver set that had these lovely, smooth bulbous handles so I cleaned one up very well, lubed it and all and got down to some serious masturbation. This was several years ago. Anyway, I'm sliding it around and it's feeling good, but then I had a contraction or whatever you call it... anyway, the screwdriver suddenly was getting sucked up in me. I grabbed the end and had all I could do to pull it out. I was really scared. I thought it was going to go all the way in! :shock: It makes me rather apprehensive about what I put in there. I've heard of women having to get tampons surgically removed because the string breaks off or whatever. That scares me. I don't have health insurance! Not to mention the whole experience of it. And what's weird is I don't have a big pussy that you might think easy to loose things in. I'm actually very tight and have been told my muscles in there are very strong. Maybe that's why I had to pull pretty hard to get the screw driver out. Oh well. That's me. | 2009-01-20 23:59:59 |
| 973 | 6424 | well don't try any sharp stuff...can you put something in a condom to make it easier? Then you can put it in hot water so it is nice and warm going in mmmm | 2009-01-21 00:09:42 |
| 973 | 6425 | It was the handle, not the sharp end. The sharp end never went inside fortunately. | 2009-01-21 00:35:42 |
| 973 | 6436 | objects can definitely get stuck inside your vagina.& if you're tight and you use one of those balls, it can easily get stuck if you don't have a string on it to pull it back out.& With a dildo, of course, you are only so deep, so if the toy is long enough it won't go all the way in.& In any case, something longer would be harder to get stuck because it wouldn't go as far in and wouldn't spin around inside. | 2009-01-21 02:24:11 |
| 973 | 6443 | Hi dfs, Yes, that is one of my fears. Also the strings or chains breaking! :shock: I am very tight so I would need something quite durable to go up there. Preferably something with a base that wouldn't go inside. I love the idea of those metal eggs, but I'd be too afraid to lose it in me. I'm even afraid to use tampons. (I know, I'm a puss) LL | 2009-01-21 10:18:41 |
| 973 | 6445 | You can go to your local children's toy store and buy sets of balls of different sizes and some nylon cord and create your own sex toys. Just poke a hole through the ball(s) and feed the nylon cord through. If you use a lighter to melt the knots in the nylon cord, that will help insure they don't come undone. I inserted a Pocket Rocket vibe into a partner's vagina, and she didn't want to give it back, :P but since it was getting warm, it had to come out.& :shock: I was able to retrieve it, but she couldn't get a hold of it herself. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] The vagina is a closed space, so objects can't get "lost", or require "surgical removal," but if the pelvic muscles contract, closing the vaginal orifice, a doctor may need to administer a muscle relaxer. In general though, women can expel these items, by squatting down and pushing it out, like laying an egg. They may have to take a warm shower to relax, then squat down. They may also need to "gently" squirt come lubricant inside their vagina, baby oil or the like. If a vacuum is created behind the object, you may have to slip a finger in alongside it, to break a seal, or a doctor would have to insert a catheter alongside it, or so I would guess. If you are snug, a condom may not be strong enough to allow you to pull an object out. You may to squat, push, and pull, to get an object out in this case. Brad | 2009-01-21 11:00:38 |
| 973 | 6465 | This is something that my wife was interested in trying too.& I bought her a metal egg that was designed for this but it turned out to be too heavy to stay in place so I made one out of hard plastic with a metal center to give it some weight.& This one was about 1/2 the weight of the all metal one and stayed in place OK.& I attached a nylon cord to it for removal.& We also bought a pair of Ben-Wa balls that are hollow plastic with metal balls inside that move around as she walks.& They also have a cord for removal.& Wearing either of these keeps here wet all the time but unfortunately they are not really comfortable for her to wear continually although I have read of other women who enjoy wearing them for extended periods.& Another problem is that when she is wearing them she cannot pee as the object in her vagina must place some pressure on her uretha.& If you use something like a ball or bullet shaped object I don't see how it could get stuck and most toys of this type will come with a cord for removal.& I would say try it, it seems to work for some women but not for others. | 2009-01-27 09:10:27 |
| 973 | 6467 | [user=14526]EMart[/user] wrote: "This is something that my wife was interested in trying too.& I bought her a metal egg that was designed for this but it turned out to be too heavy to stay in place so I made one out of hard plastic with a metal center to give it some weight.& This one was about 1/2 the weight of the all metal one and stayed in place OK.& I attached a nylon cord to it for removal.& We also bought a pair of Ben-Wa balls that are hollow plastic with metal balls inside that move around as she walks.& They also have a cord for removal.& Wearing either of these keeps here wet all the time but unfortunately they are not really comfortable for her to wear continually although I have read of other women who enjoy wearing them for extended periods.& Another problem is that when she is wearing them she cannot pee as the object in her vagina must place some pressure on her uretha.& If you use something like a ball or bullet shaped object I don't see how it could get stuck and most toys of this type will come with a cord for removal.& I would say try it, it seems to work for some women but not for others. " The discomfort experienced might be the result of weak pelvic muscles that are strained by trying to hold the objects in place. I have heard that Kegel weights can cause some discomfort when first used. It is likely more difficult to hold objects inside the vagina than many, especially men, may believe; liquids normally flow directly out of the vagina. Tampons don't weigh much, and are not as smooth as balls and the like. [url=www.vaginalweights.net/compare.html] www.vaginalweights.net/compare.html | 2009-01-29 19:58:44 |
| 973 | 6482 | There is panties with a small vibrator or dildo attached to them. Also, there is a toy called the butterfly panties.& Vibrating panties that have a wireless remote, so someone else can control it. Would love to have the remote one night doing it to a woman. | 2009-02-10 14:02:46 |
| 974 | 6412 | Does anyone here flas without panties on underneath? Melissa | 2009-01-19 23:51:53 |
| 974 | 6413 | Hi Melissa, happy newyear.....I still do it, It is fun...love short skirts and no panties...luisa & | 2009-01-20 14:12:12 |
| 974 | 6414 | I don't even consider it flashing if the girl has undies on. | 2009-01-20 20:48:28 |
| 974 | 6416 | what about see through undies hehehe | 2009-01-20 23:37:47 |
| 974 | 6437 | if they're see through enough for me to see anything from a flash, i don't know why a chick would bother.& crotchless I guess would be a flash in my book, but I think crotchless panties are tacky.& better for her to just go commando. | 2009-01-21 02:27:11 |
| 975 | 6415 | I know, this is pretty lame. I'm 30. I've been orgasmic and masturbating as far back as I can remember, but I just found my clit today, or maybe it found me. I've been experimenting with orgasm denial (Yes I know, dangerous stuff I've been warned) but I've only been at it a couple of days. You see, I have been masturbating a lot and finding I have to work for my orgasms and I decided, if my body doesn't want to orgasm (easily) maybe I should try something different. So I'm teasing "edging" myself several times a day but not pushing for an orgasm. They're welcome, but if I have to work for them, forget it. So anyway, I woke up this morning and played with my nipples for about an hour then started poking around between my cunt lips and I felt this little hard round thing where my clit should be and I realized it was my clit! I had never felt it quite this way before. It felt wonderful to rub it and I enjoyed this for about half an hour more, then went to take a shower. It's been three days since my last orgasm. I might have had a "ruined" orgasm on the second day. I had these spasms when I edged that felt rather good, though not like a real orgasm and I was still horny after so I'm not worried about it. It didn't seem to reduce my sexual tension and arousal. So I'm very happy to have met my clit. I feel I'm already benefitting from this experiment. My body seems to be agreeable with it. Although I have been VERY aroused and horny, the orgasms haven't been pushing their way through so I think I'm going to continue until my arousal and sensitivity increase, which I'm sure they will. Just wanted to share! LL | 2009-01-20 21:48:07 |
| 975 | 6417 | have fun and treat that clitee good...let us know when you come big. | 2009-01-20 23:39:50 |
| 975 | 6421 | Thanks. Will do. :D | 2009-01-20 23:54:23 |
| 975 | 6438 | IMO edging produces much better orgasms than going right for it from the start. | 2009-01-21 02:28:42 |
| 975 | 6439 | congrats! I wish you many wonderfull orgasm :) (By the way, sometimes when Im masturbating I try to see how long I can keep going without having an orgasm, and by the time my body orgasms on its own its waaaay more strong then if I just orgasm at the start. Defonatly a fun thing to do, can last hours!) | 2009-01-21 03:29:03 |
| 975 | 6441 | Hi Tember, Thanks for the kind wishes! (((HUGS))) You said your body orgasms on its own, do you mean when the orgasm becomes really easy or that you can cum without touching yourself? What is the longest you've gone? | 2009-01-21 10:10:26 |
| 975 | 6446 | Well, heres how it generally works. If Im trying to orgasm, I tighten up all the muscles down there while Im rubbing my clit untill it builds up to orgasm.... at the begining stages, I cant orgasm unless Im rubbing and tightening myself. So what I do is right before I cum, I relax, and then I dont orgasm. Eventually though as I keep going, the feeling of building up to orgasm can be achieved even when my muscles are relaxed, so at this point to prevent orgasm, I have to actually stop rubbing the clit. I pause for a few moments and then keep going, and when I feel myself about to orgasm, I pause again, ect ect. Eventually however, my body orgasms even after Iv stopped doing anything. So I orgasm, yes, without touching myself. But it takes a loooot of patience to get up to that. | 2009-01-21 17:33:50 |
| 975 | 6449 | Tember~ What you describe sounds like what I'm doing, though I need more practice at it. Thanks for the instructions, it's good to know I'm on the right track. Have you noticed any health improvements or any other positive overall benefits from your periods of denial? | 2009-01-21 19:01:40 |
| 975 | 6450 | Hmm, not really health benifits, except that when I get up to the stage where I orgasm without meaning to, my entire body is hyper sensitive. Generally right before my body orgasms on its own, Im at a point where I could orgasm from rubbing the skin to the sides of my clit, or down lower, areas that really arent usualyl sensitive at all. Basically that entire area stimulates me instead of just my clit, which isnt the way it usually is. I suppose thats a health benifit? As upposed to, for example, if I get into the habbit of using a vibrator on my clit, I actually start to loose sensitivity. Right now Im trying to figure out how to orgasm from nipple stimulation though. Or anal. Really want to figure those out. | 2009-01-21 20:36:47 |
| 975 | 6452 | I've always had an aversion to things that vibrate, don't like to touch them, scary. Guess it's good cause I always hear about this desensitizing and I don't want any of that. I'm striving for the best sensitivity possible. Sounds like we're of like mind on this orgasm thing. I'd like to hear about your progress with the nipple and anus orgasms. | 2009-01-22 02:20:19 |
| 975 | 6453 | Vibrators feel REALLY nice, I highly reccomend trying them out, because they give you incredibly intence stimulation. The only problem is that if you use them all the time then eventually youll start to need the higher intensity. This is why& I dont reccomend using them on a regular basis, but every once in a while for something special, yes. Anyways it takes probably a few days of using nothing but a vibrator to lower your sensitivity, and again, a few days of not using one to bring it back up again. | 2009-01-22 02:25:41 |
| 975 | 6454 | depending on your masturbatory technique and how you interpret orgasm denial, the obvious health benefit is the extra exercise.& meaning that if you're masturbating more often and for longer periods of time rather than simply electing not to masturbate to orgasm without changing the rest of your behavior, then you'll theoretically be performing more exercise.& this, as I said, depends on your technique, of course.& if you just hold a vibrator to your various erogenous zones or do something like a slow massage, then there really isn't much exercise, but if your technique is more physical then this would hold true. | 2009-01-22 02:29:38 |
| 976 | 6418 | geez, Rebecca Chalker is correct in her book....women produce like way more lubrication juice...has any other woman here been so horny that your panties get all gooey? Does it ever drip down? Does it bother you going around with gooey panties under a dress? Also I like to hump a pillow and the pillow gets soo sticky and leaves very gooey sticky stuff afterwardss w]even when it dries..is this jormal for a woman? & Thanx, Melissa | 2009-01-20 23:44:22 |
| 976 | 6419 | I want to clarify that it is not a female ejaculation....it is just being so gooey and sticky....I mean even more than a guy when he comes...is it normal for a woman to get this way? | 2009-01-20 23:46:30 |
| 976 | 6420 | Well I sure do. Sometimes I think I make more juice than a guy and I don't think I'm having a female ejaculation either. Sometimes when I know I'm going to be really horny but dressed and walking around I wear a maxi pad for heavy flow days. I know it seems most women are into tampons but I like the old-fashioned pads. Maybe I'm weird but something feels sexy about them. Also, sometimes masturbating naked on furniture I put towels down to keep things clean. I think as a result I'm sexually attracted to towels. I like sleeping with them and they feel great on nipples. | 2009-01-20 23:53:19 |
| 976 | 6422 | is this a good time to wear panties under a dress if you want to jill off...or have you ever gotten your dress all gooey with goo lube? lol | 2009-01-20 23:57:07 |
| 976 | 6426 | I dunno, maybe I'm a neat freak, but I like to protect my clothes, either with panties or pads or just getting all out naked to have some fun. (Towels, ummmm) Course there are those times something arousing happens, friend feels you up, whatever, and there you are, stuck in wet panties. I find the wetness arouses me more and makes me wetter, so it's a viscious cycle. Sometimes I like the challenge of staying in the wet panties until they dry, but only once is a while. | 2009-01-21 00:46:41 |
| 976 | 6427 | when they get drier do you notice how crusted they are? | 2009-01-21 00:49:17 |
| 976 | 6428 | LOL, yeah. My girlfriend used to love getting me turned on and teasing me in all kinds of places where I couldn't do too much about it. Even if you wipe it up with tp the panties are still soaked. I started carrying extra panties in a little survival kit when I went to see her, but some times there was no where to change, or she'd make me run out of panties. | 2009-01-21 00:51:47 |
| 976 | 6429 | did they ever soak your inner thighs? | 2009-01-21 00:53:35 |
| 976 | 6430 | Yeah, sometimes. | 2009-01-21 00:57:44 |
| 976 | 6431 | yeah when I didn't shave my mound, I also noticed that the public hair down there would get all wet LOL | 2009-01-21 01:11:51 |
| 976 | 6432 | Don't shave and yes, it does. Sometimes I wish there was a way to reduce the wetness, but I guess there isn't. Only thing that does is being really thirsty and that's no fun. | 2009-01-21 01:14:13 |
| 976 | 6433 | what does thirsty have to do with anything????? Are we not talking about vaginal lube juice??? | 2009-01-21 01:16:12 |
| 976 | 6434 | If I'm dehydrated I don't make as much lube juice and making lube juice also makes me thirsty. | 2009-01-21 01:18:00 |
| 976 | 6435 | When I get wet, I get REALLY wet. If Im not wearing panties, yeah it drips all over the place, my thighs get soaked. Its not USUALLY bad enough to soak THROUGH the panties but yes, my panties are usually gooey at the end of the day even if Im not even particularily aroused! If I dont wash them right away it dries into a yellow coloured crust. Its so thick that if I bend the fabric it just cracks and falls off in chunks. Quite often the first thing I do when& i get home from work is take my panties off because they get a bit uncomfortable. | 2009-01-21 01:57:21 |
| 976 | 6444 | From the surveys about female sexual arousal. When I experience vaginal lubrication: 1% I don't experience vaginal lubrication 6% The fluid lubricates inside my vagina only 22% The fluid lubricates my vagina and the area immediately outside my vagina, the introitus 26% The fluid lubricates my vagina and inner labia 23% The fluid reaches my outer labia 9% The fluid reaches my thighs 2% Not sure 0% Other When I experience vaginal lubrication while fully clothed: 5%& The fluid does not reach my underwear 53% The fluid reaches my underwear 27% The fluid soaks my underwear 5%& The fluid reaches my outer layer of clothing 3%& The fluid soaks my outer layer of clothing 2%& Not sure 1%& Other Archived Survey: [url=www.misterpoll.com/polls/180802/results] www.misterpoll.com/polls/180802/results Active Survey: [url=www.misterpoll.com/polls/180801/results] www.misterpoll.com/polls/180801/results | 2009-01-21 10:44:36 |
| 977 | 6442 | Here I am, day 4 in my sexual frustration. I think I'm finally starting to feel something. This is the longest I've gone without orgasm in over a decade!!!! I've been masturbating no less, just not allowing myself to come. That is, I haven't been able to come easily or spontaneously, but I'm waiting. Just edged myself for an hour this morning. My butt is all tingly, I'm very horny. My clit and I have been making fast friends. I'm able to stimulate it directly now and my pussy is feeling really good. Don't know how much longer now before my body says it's had enough. I'm giving it a way out, but sticking to it. Super easy or spontaneous orgasm or none. >:) | 2009-01-21 10:14:33 |
| 977 | 6447 | Sounds like an interesting experiment. I dont how how entirely relevant this is, but I have some experiance with orgasm denial. Not self imposed -- Im not allowed to orgasm without the guy Im seeings permission, and sometimes as a discipline, he will tell me to go for a week without orgasming at all, but he still expects me to masturbate. | 2009-01-21 17:36:26 |
| 977 | 6448 | Hi Tember, sounds like fun with you and your boyfriend. I have to say I didn't make it a whole week. I had an orgasm a little while ago, but I did make it a challenge for myself. We have this bed that is made of this super soft memory foam. It makes no resistance to pressure and is lovely to sleep in, but I have never been able to orgasm on it face down, rubbing my clit on the bed. I always could do this with other beds, but not this one. I even tried putting hard objects under my clit, but they would just sink in too and I couldn't get enough friction. As I was edging myself this afternoon I was extremely horny, so I decided to take the challenge on the bed. I think I came in less than a minute. It was intense and wonderful! I only had one and it usually takes me several orgasms to become fully satisfied so here I am, still horny but happy. And I'm not disappointed in myself at all. I think I met my goals quite well. I'm thinking of limiting myself to only one orgasm a day when I do cum. I'd like to see if this continues to sensitize me. | 2009-01-21 18:55:22 |
| 977 | 6459 | congratulations on your O | 2009-01-24 22:49:52 |
| 979 | 6468 | are lap dances still in vogue? Melissa | 2009-01-30 00:54:34 |
| 979 | 6469 | were they ever? | 2009-01-30 01:27:36 |
| 979 | 6470 | heck yea...with no panties under a denim mini | 2009-01-30 01:41:08 |
| 979 | 6471 | Sure. In some countries touching (hips, breasts, and butt) is allowable though not in the USA. The opportunity for a middle-aged male to touch the skin of an 18-22 year old woman is almost irresistable. Or even to be close to her and smell her body and perfume. How many women/wives behave in this erotic fashion for their male partners? Probably very few. | 2009-02-03 00:15:10 |
| 980 | 6472 | Hi,can some female talk about how does it feel when your G-spot is stimulated?And do you prefer G-spot or clitoris? | 2009-02-03 03:39:46 |
| 980 | 6491 | When my G Spot is stimulated, it is a much more intense feeling than if my clit is being rubbed. Although it takes a bit to get used to, as when you are close to cumming it tends to make you feel like you have to go pee... I dont really have a preference between the G Spot and clitoris, as both feel better then the other at different times. They feel best together though. ;) happy rubbing! | 2009-02-13 00:49:52 |
| 981 | 6473 | Definition: intoxication; b: a strong excitement or elation Definition: horny; a: desiring sexual gratification b: excited sexually Definition: randy; lustful & Within many societies it was considered inappropriate to suggest women, like men, may at times be overwhelmed by physical sexual desire, that sexual desire was in control of their actions, rather than their logical or emotional needs. Such a physical and mental state may even have been considered very unlady like. Women in fact were tasked with controlling male sexual desire, because men were thought to be incapable of doing so themselves. Times have certainly changed, but by how much? Are women free to be horny, not just in the mood, but tear down the door horny? Do women even get really horny, I mean REALLY horny, or should I say, are women able and willing to admit to this occurrence? Over the past few years I have worked with several women, who where in their twenties, and on occasion observed some interesting behavior. 1) A young woman with a new boyfriend was exhibiting some peculiar behavior at work, namely distraction. I knew about the new boyfriend and wondered to myself, is she possibly horny? Later that day she actually admitted to being overwhelmed with sexual desire, to the point she wished she could simply turn it off. 2) While on vacation I noted another young woman exhibiting peculiar behavior and thought that perhaps she had been drinking alcohol, but she doesn't drink alcoholic beverages. Had she taken the plunge and sneaked a sip? Nope, she was waiting for her boyfriend, who as it turns out had been delayed several hours, on top of a week's separation. 3) Another young woman basically becomes extremely randy while drinking, perhaps more so than most. Flashing her breasts is just the tip of the iceberg. After a few beers, she has even come right out, looked me in the eye, and told me how very horny she was, alas for someone closer to her own age. Outside these intoxicated experiences, she is no more randy than the next girl, or is she? 4) Another young woman expressed her deep frustration, while drinking beers with a group of coworkers, at not being able to bed her new man, and was seeking advise from a couple of us guys. It turns out she had been more than just a little willing to do the deed a few days before, having been more than a little in mood then, and in the then present tense, but the guy hadn't take the plunge, much to her great frustration, not to mention a blow to her self confidence. So how often do women experience overwhelming sexual desire? I postulate, alcoholic intoxication may become a cover for hormonal intoxication, as in, consumption of alcoholic beverages allow women a socially acceptably opportunity to express hormonal intoxication, i.e. unbridled sexual desire. & Ladies, do you ever experience intense sexual desire and/or use alcoholic intoxication as a cover? Or does alcoholic intoxication simply lower your inhibitions, allowing your hormonal intoxication to reveal itself. Another expression of intense sexual desire, are occasions during which a woman is just warming up after a couple hours of intense sex, while her poor partner is limp in more ways than one. I've had women ask if this was a normal experience and if there was a cure. Men after all, are expected to be "more sexual" than women. Note: In a prior version of this posting I used the word "drunkenness," and readers may have mistaken my intended meaning of the word, which was "of, relating to, or characterized by intoxication (i.e. strong excitement or elation)," not as in exhibiting inappropriate behavior. | 2009-02-03 19:25:30 |
| 981 | 6550 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Do women even get really horny, I mean REALLY horny, or should I say, are women able and willing to admit to this occurrence?& So how often do women experience overwhelming sexual desire? I postulate, alcoholic intoxication may become a cover for hormonal intoxication, as in, consumption of alcoholic beverages allow women a socially acceptably opportunity to express hormonal intoxication, i.e. unbridled sexual desire. & Ladies, do you ever experience intense sexual desire and/or use alcoholic intoxication as a cover? Or does alcoholic intoxication simply lower your inhibitions, allowing your hormonal intoxication to reveal itself. Another expression of intense sexual desire, are occasions during which a woman is just warming up after a couple hours of intense sex, while her poor partner is limp in more ways than one. I've had women ask if this was a normal experience and if there was a cure. Men after all, are expected to be "more sexual" than women. " To address your questions, I'll try to go in order and stay on topic... Yes, women do get REALLY horny!!!!& I do.& My friends do.& My cousin does and my aunt and sister in law do... these ladies on this forum who describe becoming SO horny that they do themselves in public... I do.... this should provide enough proof! How often do women have overwhelming horny desire?& I think, whenever they WANT to and feel undistracted enough by their obligations!& For me personally, I am sometimes hornier during ovulation, but the rest of the times I get super horny, there is no rhyme or reason to it, AND I can become horny whenever I want to.& I just think happy thoughts, or read erotic stories or sometimes look at porn, or ravage my sex partner! I think your postulation about alcohol is correct to a degree.& Even with my own partner, after a couple drinks I am more apt to do the things I fantasize about all day!!! I do not use alcohol for a "cover."& But, I think you are right when you say that alcoholic intoxication lowers a female's inhibitions, allowing& hormonal intoxication to reveal itself.& It's probably the intense fear instilled in us females starting in jr high or before, of being labelled a "whore" if we deign to display ANY signs of being horny or desirous of sex.& We are allowed to dress sexy as hell, but as soon as a girl DOES something sexual or horny, she is labelled a "slut" or worse!!!& But I def think that these fears and inhibitions are lessened by alcoholic influence.... thank GOD!!!!! And lastly, I don't know about "several hours" of intense sex, but yes, once I get going, I can really keep going and my orgasms actually feel MORE intense with each one, as I rub myself against my partner's body or my guy's inserted erection!& As long as he is hard, I can come repeatedly with him in me... I just make sure my clit is rubbing against his member or his pubic mound.& Then& even if he& is no longer hard (or hard enough), I can continue coming and feeling increasing pleasure by rubbing against his bod.& WOW!!& If I just keep going betw each orgasm, I can soon after experience another one... then another....& so on!& I LOVE this overdosing on cums, and it turns HIM on to no end!!!!!& But.... my male partners can only handle so much of this.& & I would love to find another multiple female and try things with her, see how long we can go with each other!!! In short, I think women are just as HORNY as men, and that when a woman finally feels she can "let go" and let herself spend time on good sex, she invariably can "outlast" a man.& Whereas men can usually let loose any time, but only last a few minutes.... they are used to just going and pumping themselves uninhibitedly whenever the desire arises; yet women really have to pick and choose the times they will be able to take enough time to let themselves go all the way and enjoy sex to the fullest! I often wish I could just go off and masturbate every single time I get overwhelmingly horny!& But oftentimes there just isn't enough time or privacy for my brand of masturbation.& I prefer a long buildup and enough privacy to be able to moan and not be heard!!& Having to have quiet orgasms makes me breathe too hard and nearly faint! Thanks for your curiosity! & | 2009-03-28 02:33:14 |
| 981 | 6555 | Hiya Brad Interesting questions as always :) [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: " Â Are women free to be horny, not just in the mood, but tear down the door horny?" NO! is the short answer to that one. Slighter longer version is that I personally have only ever found one partner who was much the same in drive and passion as I experience over the years in that "wanting to tear down the door type of horniness". He was celebratory in the way he allowed me to express myself as and when I felt it, and never encouraged me to hide those desires or passions. Now I am in my late 30s I often find myself pouring my mind into other things that can not possibly be a turn on just to try and quash those "I just want to rip his clothes off" thoughts feelings or emotions. My sex drive, lust if you like to call it that instead, is and always has been much higher than my Partner's is. We have been together now for twelve years this summer and whilst we have a mutual and understanding of each other, quality over quantity, I still get massive urges to just jump him every week which he quickly pulls in check. I dont think some men can handle a randy woman as it is not seen as "proper" behaviour or something, might it be that it is not 'mumsy' for them? "Do women even get really horny, I mean REALLY horny, or should I say, are women able and willing to admit to this occurrence? . " Yes, well I do and only get a chance or rather 'permission type signals' to act on this overwhelming urge is about once every two to three months with quickies in between as it seems that is all he needs. "So how often do women experience overwhelming sexual desire?" At least once or twice a week for me probably more most weeks. "Â Ladies, do you ever experience intense sexual desire and/or use alcoholic intoxication as a cover? Or does alcoholic intoxication simply lower your inhibitions, allowing your hormonal intoxication to reveal itself." I dont actually drink alcoholic drinks but have used them in the past to lower my sex drive as I have found that the effects of drinking dont make me more sexual at all, they put me in a more fun frame of mind but not a sexual one as I like to feel expressionate without any influences knowing that it is all coming from me so what I am doing is what "I" want to be doing at the time. Other examples of not being able to exhibit a strong desire is sometimes being made to feel like it is not the right time, or somehow I shouldnt be feeling that way. I hate that and it is an instant turn off. I feel that overall society has a long way to go before a sexual woman will have an equal place in all parts of the social network as men do. Sometimes it is other women who are preventing the advancement of coming out from behind the curtain. We are often seen as loose women, slags or ridiculed by our female peers because of their own inhibitions and the inability to say when they want a good seeing to. (I Probably could have picked better wording to express that last part) Princess :D | 2009-04-01 12:41:49 |
| 981 | 6556 | BLAST FROM THE PAST:shock::shock::shock: | 2009-04-01 21:03:26 |
| 981 | 6557 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "BLAST FROM THE PAST:shock::shock::shock:" :D yep, I have been around but silently so thought it was about time I posted again. Nice to 'see' you too today by the way | 2009-04-01 22:37:54 |
| 981 | 6558 | I thought you were long gone. Welcome back. | 2009-04-02 02:30:26 |
| 981 | 6560 | I would like to thank Mysecret and Princess for their feedback, it is greatly appreciated. :) Brad | 2009-04-02 18:45:52 |
| 982 | 6474 | Hello again, it's me. I'm back at another one of my sexual experiments. I'm going a week with the rules that 1. I have to stimulate my nipples 20 minutes a session with suction, three times a day, masturbate at least 2 hours a day (without orgasm) and the only way I am allowed an orgasm is by a method I've never used before, and only one a day. These rules are self-imposed and this is all my own experiment to try to learn new things. So I've discovered that I cannot cum unless my legs are wide apart. I here of women cumming by clenching their muscles, grinding their thighs together, etc, but when one leg gets close to the other, I can't cum. It's been 6 days and no orgasm for me. But I keep trying. Any suggestions are welcome. | 2009-02-06 00:38:34 |
| 982 | 6475 | It might simply be impossible for you. The position may do something to your muscles or nerves that inhibits pleasure from building up enough for you. | 2009-02-06 20:53:45 |
| 982 | 6476 | Orgasm is generally the result of muscular tension, and some women create muscular tension by squeezing their legs and thighs together. Others by contracting their pelvic muscles (i.e. Kegels contractions). You may be creating the same muscular tension by holding your legs apart, when perhaps they are trying to close. Instead of merely being spread apart, they may be pressing down and outward. You might observe whether your leg and pelvic muscles are relaxed or tense during orgasm, or at the point of not being able to experience orgasm. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_3.htm#1 It may also be a constraint caused by conditioning, being to removed from your usual technique. You might try straddling something that holds you legs open, while allowing you to squeeze against it. A padded arm chair with a towel covering it comes to mind. You may also be trying to incorporate to many new masturbation techniques at one time. Change one thing, rather than multiple. To see an example of how much muscular tension some women create while masturbating, scroll down to the image of the woman masturbating against a sink on the page linked to below. She is rubbing her vulva and clitoris against the bathroom counter, but also note the amount of tension throughout her body, head to toe. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/mast_v31.htm#75 As a side note, it may be difficult for the woman in the image to experience orgasm during partnered sex, if her orgasms are dependent on this level of muscular tension. She isn't abnormal if this were to be true, but she and her partner may be needlessly frustrated by her inability to experience orgasm during partnered sex, especially if they don't take her masturbation technique into account. The simplest solution would be for her to say, come watch, as then it become partnered sex. | 2009-02-07 17:31:32 |
| 982 | 6481 | A friend of mine& were& talking about sex one night and she told me about her first orgasm. It was during gym class in high school. She was doing sit-ups and started feeling something& tingling between her legs. The more sit-ups she did, the better it felt...till she had an orgasm.& So, maybe you need to try in another position. ..Pull your legs tight against your tits, and clench your mussels. Hope this helps. | 2009-02-10 13:55:48 |
| 983 | 6477 | ..... | 2009-02-07 22:13:22 |
| 983 | 6479 | Given that 80-90% of young women masturbate, and 37% do so one or more times a day, I doubt it, as if this were the case, it would be relatively common experience. Based on the information presented below, it may be the result of improper hygiene, or partnered sex. Bartholin Cyst Causes A Bartholin cyst develops when the duct exiting the Bartholin gland becomes blocked. The fluid produced by the gland then accumulates, causing the gland to swell and form a cyst. An [url=www.emedicinehealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=58918]abscess occurs when a cyst becomes infected. Bartholin abscesses can be caused by any of a number of bacteria. These include bacterial organisms that cause [url=www.emedicinehealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=58875]sexually transmitted diseases such as [url=www.emedicinehealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=58861]chlamydia and [url=www.emedicinehealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=58869]gonorrhea as well as bacteria normally found in the intestinal tract, such as [url=www.emedicinehealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=3327]Escherichia coli . It is common for these abscesses to involve more than one type of organism. From www.emedicinehealth.com/bartholin_cyst/article_em.htm Basic hygiene is addressed in the article linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hygiene.htm | 2009-02-08 12:32:24 |
| 983 | 6480 | Hi dear Pyro..no need to worry it doesn't have anyhting to do with masturbation, it happens like Brad said, probably got infected by bacteria from the anal area. I had one really big cyst that had to be drained and been years since that happened. Mine was inside in the labia close to the vagina. Good luck luisa | 2009-02-08 12:59:57 |
| 983 | 6529 | I was always lead to believe that bartholins cysts were generally in the labial area?? & And some may need to be removed surgically. | 2009-03-14 11:07:07 |
| 986 | 6484 | I am 19 years old and I haven't really been in a serious relationship. One of my best friends finally asked me out and now we are starting to become serious. I never Masturbate due to I didn't know how and It wasn't something I thought of. We starting making out when he puts his hand down my pants and started rubbing me. Shock waves starting going through my body. I never felt anything like it. The problem started when the shock through my body from him rubbing me started to feel too good that it hurt. I couldn't let anything touch my clit without some shock going through me. I was wondering, is this normal? Is there anything I can do, so I can handle it and be able to keep going. Sex and masturbation is something new I'm learning, and if it hurts too much, I don't know if I want to try :X | 2009-02-10 22:49:13 |
| 986 | 6485 | Hi..My opinion is that you're "supersensitive" down in your clit due to never ttouching it;now you have a BF that doesn't know how sensitive is your vulva and maybe without meaning it is hurting you...I suggest to start exploring your vulva by yourself, finding where it feels good and where it hurts(eventually your clit will get used to touch). I used in the past an anesthetic cream with 10% or less anesthetic and rubbed my clit before having sex or masturbating(it is only temporary until you get used to otuch). Good luck and enjoy luisa PS the cream can be found over teh counter ( I used solarcaine is wonderful for the skin and numbs just a little) | 2009-02-11 13:30:02 |
| 986 | 6486 | You might not be oversensitive necessarily, although it's a possibility. Perhaps your BF is inexperienced and is being too rough. Luisa is right that you ought to spend some time exploring yourself, and not just your clit, to find what feels good and what doesn't. If you know what feels best to you, you can tell your BF what works and what doesn't. Sex isn't magic, after all. Nobody is truly a mind reader, so if you don't know what feels good and what feels bad, there's no way he can know. Don't go right to your clit, either. Explore your whole body to see what feels good, because you may find places that work wonders that you might not expect. | 2009-02-11 23:28:37 |
| 986 | 6492 | You sound like me! Sounds to me that you're super-sensitive down there, and like the others, I recommend that you explore yourself. My current boyfriend is still figuring out my body as far as fingering goes. It's important you know how light of a touch you need down there this way you can guide him along with your hands rather than him play guessing games with you. I usually go along the side of my clit with my fingers, direct stimulation can hurt and will not feel good after a couple of seconds. After you explore yourself, definitely communicate this with your lover boy because it's important that he knows so he doesn't hurt you. | 2009-02-13 22:02:04 |
| 986 | 6501 | Thankyou for the help, everyone. I guess I will try it out and see how it goes :3 Just got to get over my nerves of talking about it with my boyfriend, xD | 2009-02-14 19:20:40 |
| 986 | 6502 | You especially should not be nervous about talking to your boyfriend about sexual things. If you can't talk frankly with him about what you do and don't like, you're probably not going to have very good sex. Good communication is the key to good sex. | 2009-02-15 15:10:15 |
| 986 | 6510 | ditto with what dfs says! Why not try to help guide him with your hand?& Sometimes with my boyfriend I'll do that, or I'll simply just be frank and say, "that doesn't feel good. let's try it this way." and then go from there.& Maybe even suggest he use his ring or pinky finger, those are less powerful than the pointer and middle. | 2009-02-26 00:46:41 |
| 987 | 6487 | Hi, this might sound like a weird question.. Im actually kind of embarassed to ask it. But I really enjoy *ahem* anal stimulation, for years Iv explored that area of myself while in the bathtub, as the warm water relaxes and looses up the muscles down there so I can stretch it out more.... Just recently, I got my first ever butt plug. Just a small one, beginner size, ect. I could not belive how much it hurt. Im not sure how to explain this next bit so bare with me and Ill do my best.... I have found that with anal stimulation, there are two kinds of hurt, two kinds of pain. The first pain is one that Iv gotton over, the pain of, well, having something inside of there. This pain is on the inside and feels like a dull ache. This type of pain seems normal to me and the more I do experiance anal stimulation the less I experiance this pain. But with the plug theres a second one, and its only right at the entrance, in the opening itself, and it is an intence burning sensation that lasts up to a half hour after Im done. This pain I have never experianced with any other objects (Iv used fingers before, sharpie markers.... and very recently I actually was able to experiance for the first time, anal penetration) but none of these other things cause the burning sensation. Could this be a reaction to the rubber? | 2009-02-12 04:43:20 |
| 987 | 6488 | Hi, It is possible the product has some chemical residues, if made of cheaper materials. Items made of silicone, stainless steel, and Pryrex glass don't retain any manufacturing residues. Using a condom on less expensive items isn't a bad idea, simply to prevent them from absorbing your body fluids and fecal matter. You may also be causing micro abrasions and tears, and this is causing the later burning sensation. This becomes more likely as you insert objects of increasing size. You should use plenty of lubricant, and massage and stimulate your anus prior to inserting any object. Some of the sensations you are experiencing are the result of your body saying no to the intrusion. At present you may be enjoying stimulation that results more from pressure than friction, i.e. caressing with fingers. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/anal.htm Brad | 2009-02-12 10:08:16 |
| 987 | 6490 | Yes, allergies are possible. As a rule, you should always invest in silicone for hygienic and textural reasons. Another possibility is that you proceeded too fast. I don't know how much bigger the plug is than anything you've used previously, but if you got an actual butt plug and not something like anal beads, I'd guess that the widest part of the plug is probably around an inch in diameter, even for a beginner toy. I have quite large fingers and hands, even for a man, and even my fingers aren't an inch at the knuckle, much less the fingertip. Point being, that if you proceeded too fast with the toy and you overstretched your anus, you could easily have torn some tissue or strained the muscle, which could easily be the cause of a burning sensation. Also, you shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about anal stimulation, especially here. Many many people enjoy it in a variety of ways. Obviously it's not for everyone, but if it floats your boat, no worries. The only concern you should have are concerns about safety and hygiene, which are easy enough to address. | 2009-02-12 22:25:12 |
| 988 | 6493 | Okay this is going to seem a little embarrassing for me because I'm 19 years old and I've never been kissed[img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img]. But I've recently started dating a guy and I wanted to take things a little slowly with him. Anyway my question is: what are the physical sensations of a kiss? What does it actually feel like? I've always been curious, and I kind of wanted to mentally prepare myself before I kiss my boyfriend. It would be helpful if you guys and girls can describe what your first kiss experience was like.:) I'm feeling really embarrassed, but I don't know where else I should post this question. | 2009-02-14 07:34:28 |
| 988 | 6494 | Hello..don't feel embarrased, you are in a good place, lot of helpful people here and all ages.... The way I see the first kiss wasn't a sexual thing just the culmination of intimacy, togetherness, caressing, embracing& and feeling each other skin and& it came out without any expectations as how was going to feel....it will be your own personal feeling; warmth, arousal, closeness, belonging? for me was a& sweeet surprise. Good luck luisa | 2009-02-14 13:46:25 |
| 988 | 6495 | A kiss doesn't really have much physical sensation, especially if it's closed mouth. It's not unlike kissing your hand or something. Open-mouthed it's warmer and moister, but still not much of a physical sensation anyway. What I remember about my first kiss is the awkwardness of it. She also had a tongue stud, which was pretty strange. Once you get past the first one, it's pretty fun to do if you're comfortable with the person. | 2009-02-14 14:43:17 |
| 988 | 6503 | Thanks for the tip :). That was really helpful! | 2009-02-16 00:18:40 |
| 988 | 6505 | In all honesty I think giving you a discription of something that really cant be discribed is just going to hinder your first experiance. Part of the excitment of a first kiss is the uncertanty, the fact that your in new territory and exploring for the first time. | 2009-02-17 20:33:18 |
| 988 | 6506 | [user=13752]Tember[/user] wrote: "In all honesty I think giving you a discription of something that really cant be discribed is just going to hinder your first experiance. Part of the excitment of a first kiss is the uncertanty, the fact that your in new territory and exploring for the first time. " That's exactly what my cousin told me when she experienced her first kiss. When I asked her for a physical description she said that she cannot describe what a kiss feels like, it's very hard to explain it in physical terms. She said that it's something I have to experience for myself in order to understand what a kiss feels like. I guess it's sort of like describing the taste of a chocolate to someone who has never tasted chocolate in their lives. I do like the fact that it's uncertain because it does make me feel more excited about it. | 2009-02-18 10:08:59 |
| 988 | 6511 | Just thinking about kissing makes me all warm inside. Like you have stated what your cousin has said, you can't really say what a kiss actually feels like until you've done it. I would have to disagree with Dfs on that a closed mouth kiss doesn't feel like anything. Having your lips touch another's lips is such a wonderful feeling. I love kissing my boyfriend. I've kissed a few other guys, and they didn't quite feel this way before. As kissing progresses and you start involving the tongue, it can get even better. :) I hope you get to experience this wonderful feeling. :) It's always a great to have a compatible kisser. | 2009-02-26 00:52:50 |
| 989 | 6496 | Hi, I stumbled across some YouTube videos showing women giving birth. (While searching for videos on pelvic rocking exercises actually.) Note: These can be quite graphic. In this video first video, the first couple of women are shown delivering without anyone assisting or actively coaching, which is much different than the medical procedure most of us are familiar with. www.youtube.com/watch?v=zISvLVZ846I More examples of the same: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcAu8tW8aEY www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDz0-OgR9iI The more common, and perhaps more aggressive approach, we are more familiar with. www.youtube.com/watch?v=96BsGIw12yo Other videos are listed on the right hand side of the pages linked to above. Brad | 2009-02-14 15:44:23 |
| 990 | 6497 | YouTube video about female pelvic anatomy: www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7w0R4O3ctg | 2009-02-14 15:50:45 |
| 991 | 6498 | This video addresses female vulvar and pelvic anatomy very thoroughly. The video was put together by a plastic surgeon and mentions cosmetic genital surgical procedures too; labioplasty dehooding, and hymenoplasty. www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NoSt5J5pcc Second video about anatomy www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9ka2jzxq6w British TV show clip featuring the anatomy of a living woman, imagine that on American TV :shock: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Lu0qhRrIow | 2009-02-14 16:22:50 |
| 991 | 6499 | Selective YouTube Female Anatomy Searches | 2009-02-14 16:24:30 |
| 992 | 6500 | YouTube Video Search | 2009-02-14 16:47:53 |
| 993 | 6508 | Hello, I am new, and I really liked the site, and I was reading that it is bad to masturbate by tensing thighs and legs.& I masturbate this way all the time. .. now, i can masturbate in other ways, but this seems to do the trick, so I just do it this way all the time.& Well any way, since I read that it is not a good idea since such sensations cannot be replicated in partnered sex (never experienced it yet), how do I change my pattern of masturbation? What steps should I take? Should I just not masturbate for a while and then resume but in a different way? Thanks. | 2009-02-25 10:17:59 |
| 993 | 6509 | Don't change your patterns.& It doesn't matter if you can or can't replicate the sensation during sex.& Masturbation is your personal experience and you do it how you do it.& When you have a partner, then try to discover something different that works for you in that totally separate situation. | 2009-02-25 20:56:49 |
| 994 | 6513 | I am female in Australia,Sydeny, I love vagina and I call it with another name,Vagina is just a medical name.my backgroung italian call it in many name more, is more exciting so try to wright the name other than english you know ,who no what can happen susanna | 2009-02-26 23:03:08 |
| 994 | 6514 | Susana why you don't start? in spanish= chucha, chocha, chimba, concha, raja, and there is is a site that list all the known names I'll try to find it luisa | 2009-02-27 13:01:43 |
| 994 | 6515 | in italian i countrd 21 nomes i will pubblish only the most common starting with the most common ending with the rarely one and in tagalong and arabic (at the end0 FICA, FIGA, PUCCHIACCA, SORCAPICCIUNI, BERNARDA, STICCIO, GUNNU In Arabic KESS In Philippino Tagalong puki susanna | 2009-02-27 18:17:25 |
| 994 | 6536 | in sanskrit it is called : Yoni | 2009-03-26 05:09:36 |
| 994 | 6538 | In Chinese & & 阴 阜 & & Yin Fu | 2009-03-26 08:03:54 |
| 994 | 6543 | the worst name ,for me is CUNT is the chinese one as vagina or pussy? & | 2009-03-26 20:10:25 |
| 994 | 6548 | CUNt is of course not CHINESE. If you think only slang is better, I can offer you: 屄 (pronunciation: BEE). It is composed of two part : dead body (尸) + hole （穴）, because vagina is a hole. It's counterpart: DICK, is 屌 (diao) : dead body + hang, because penis hangs. | 2009-03-27 05:01:47 |
| 997 | 6531 | As an artist I often do nudes, a subject which is already rather& controversial in the circles I travel in, but I have decided to embark on a project is probably the very most riske thing I have ever done. Im doing a project focusing on the female genitals. Its something I am pretty nervous about doing, Im not sure how it will be recieved. Iv already done a few of the peices in the series but Im still nervous about posting them.& Heres my journal entry on deviantart about the project: [url=eruanna.deviantart.com/journal/23739531/]eruanna.deviantart.com/journal/23739531/ Eventually Ill post some of it to my deviantart account and all of it on my website, [url=www.geocites.com/eruanna] www.geocites.com/eruanna Tell me what you think of the idea, if there is any merit to it Ill post here about my progress as I go :P | 2009-03-19 01:51:56 |
| 997 | 6532 | I think it's a fine idea. I've seen similar things done. I'd like to see the results. The merit is what you make of it. Don't make artistic choices under pressure of approval from others. If it's something you feel passionate about, do it until you've made your point. | 2009-03-19 21:26:14 |
| 997 | 6533 | Hi Tember...Your journal made me realize that no many people had devoted any effort to depict the female genitalia really& how it is, if you look at art thru the times the artist just sketch a generic line in betwen the legs but nobody draw the labia, the mons, the clit, the vagina, etc. Also I wondered why is that we cover the nipples and expose the breasts and it is OK but if we show a nipple wwe can get arrested for indecency and the same argument goes to nursing mothers that are considered obscene for showing the nipples. I can't wait untilyou start posting your art thanks Luisa | 2009-03-20 18:50:32 |
| 997 | 6534 | Hey Tember, I've just read your journal entry, and it interests me that women would think of their genitals as being ugly. As a guy going through puberty, I used to wonder if I was normal - but I realised that I had nothing to compare myself to, and even if I did I wouldn't change my dimensions. If someone doesn't like me for what I am, then they're not worth being with. (That said, I wouldn't be adverse to suggestions on my technique in order to please my partner!) Seriously ladies, if your lover doesn't feel honored and privileged that you're sharing your body with them - you should re-evaluate your situation. I'm pretty sure that 99% of men will find you sexy regardless of what you look like down there. Then again, my g/f left me for reasons not entirely clear, so what do I know! Also I'd totally go to an art gallery if there were realistic nude paintings. I really can't be bothered with some of the trash that gets displayed around my town... I think that it takes incredible amounts of skill to faithfully reproduce real life onto paper or canvas without leaving parts out or getting the proportions wrong. I hope to see some of your work! Anywho, that's my rant for the night. I apologise if it's a little off topic :)... | 2009-03-21 06:30:40 |
| 998 | 6535 | hi everyone , & & recently i have started to love to have my wife sit on my face ... i just love to eat her pussy .. and love it even more when she cums on my face while iam eating her ... the feeling is so nice ... i just wish i could keep feeling her for ever and ever. I keep eating her and rubbing my face gently all over her pussy and enjoy her smell and just want and wait for her to explode and cum on my face and when she starts to cum i rub my face all over her sweet pussy so i can have her all over my face ... the feeling is just so nice ... i feel so satisfied. & & just want to know if iam a normal man or am i going crazy .... thankx seef | 2009-03-26 04:59:03 |
| 998 | 6542 | Hi the only thing is: she is your wife, she agrees, she enjoys as much as you do and you're no bothering anybody......have a blast& my friend luisa | 2009-03-26 12:46:33 |
| 998 | 6553 | Well of course your not going crazy!! Most guys seem to agree that getting a blowjob is& hotter if the girl enjoys doing it right? Girls are the same. Im sure your wife is very happy that you go after eating her with that much enthusiasm. :) | 2009-03-30 23:47:34 |
| 998 | 6554 | Agreed. I don't want oral from a girl who looks like she wishes she was somewhere else. That would be so uncomfortable. | 2009-03-31 22:49:35 |
| 998 | 6654 | hi, i am happy to see your comment as i also thought i was driving crazy since i also enjoy the same with mine. the only thing is when she cum she cannot hold herself above me and starts falling on my face and next i find difficult to breath.. :-(, but we never give up that practice manage it with a slanted angle position. thanks for the post and you are not the only one who likes it :-) | 2009-05-29 06:01:41 |
| 998 | 6656 | The fragrance of a woman's fluids is my favorite part of oral. I do enjoy giving pleasure in this way but I find the lingering fragrance quite delightful. As for whether my wife enjoys giving me a blowjob or handjob - I assume she does. But I don't watch her face to see if she is "bored" or not. I focus on the sensations - in part because the physical pleasure is wonderful and in part to cum faster so she isn't doing this as long (her jaw gets tired.) I can appreciate that as I sometimes become tired going down on her. | 2009-06-06 05:25:48 |
| 998 | 6777 | No way at all you are crazy - most men would rather get given a blowjob rather than give one to a girl... so keep up the good work, we need more men in the world like you! | 2009-08-18 09:03:38 |
| 1000 | 6559 | You can and should read the entire article on CNN first. [url=www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/01/parenting.when.puberty.hits/index.html] www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/01/parenting.when.puberty.hits/index.html First they address puberty in girls, then boys. An excerpt: "What to Expect When You Have a Boy Wet dreams + Masturbation When to expect them: Between 10 and 14 for wet dreams; around 12 or 13 for masturbation (though it can begin sooner) What to expect: As his body produces more testosterone, your son may start to ejaculate semen at night. Sometimes an erotic dream accompanies these releases; sometimes it doesn't. If they weren't masturbating before, most boys will figure out how to pleasure themselves around the time they hit puberty. (Girls masturbate, too -- it just seems to be a bigger part of boys' lives.) " So why isn't masturbation addressed in the section on puberty in girls, rather than as an afterthought in the section on boys? What if girls, or the parents of them, don't read the section on boys? In a survey on this website, 58% of the female participants had masturbated prior to the age of thirteen, 77% prior to age 17. Is masturbation truly less significant in the lives of girl's? If it isn't, what does this article say to girls who do masturbate, for whom it is a big part? What does the article say about the female author, the mother of two girls? Unfortunately, 40 years after the sexual revolution, girls and women are still at a sexual disadvantage. | 2009-04-02 18:43:23 |
| 1001 | 6561 | Hi everyone, I have been coming to this site for several years, since college when I first found it. I have always gotten great info and insight into the fairer sex here and hoped maybe to get some suggestions from other visitors about a situation my wife and I are currently facing. Although we have been married less than a year, my wife and I have been together for over ten years. We were both each others' first significant relationship and started dating senior year of high school. We are also the only sex partner the other has had so there has been no physical experiences with anyone else. Over the course of our relationship, we didn't rush to have sex, although I wanted to earlier than we did, we waited for almost nine months in our relationship to have intercourse. I had been masturbating for several years at that point but my wife had never even touched herself or had any knowledge of sexual pleasure. Her first orgasms were from oral stimulation, and were very intense, she would shake for some time after coming and even still today is sometimes exhausted from coming. Looking back on it, we were being cautious, trying not to change the dynamics of the relationship and focus solely on physical intimacy, but we never made sex the focus. As times changed and moved on, we tried different things, but she always felt "behind" me since I had actually learned quite a bit about sex from watching pornography (not the expectations of consequence free pleasure, more where to touch and what might feel good) and visiting sites like this one to learn more. I think that in some ways this intimidated her, but in the end, she has appreciated it far more than disliking it since I have been able to find different interesting ways to make her feel good. Here is the problem... we have sex once a week, maybe. On occasion when things time right, we might have sex twice in a weekend but it is rarely more often than that. We talk about things a lot and I have encourage and projected a very open dialogue about sex, pleasure, and desire. She has said recently that she just doesn't feel sexual. Often it won't be until I reach out and touch her that she realizes she hasn't been touched in more than a week! This can be exciting because she is so sensitive but both of us feel that something is missing. She says that she never fantasizes, rarely pleasures herself (once every 2-3 months), she will occasionally have dreams that will excite her and get her thinking, but overall she lives an asexual life. We both work full time, she works 7-3 and I work 8-7 roughly (I have an inconsistent but daily schedule that gets me home late in the evening close to when she wants to go to bed. I can see how this impacts our ability to do things at night but beyond this, there is almost no desire on her part. She enjoys sex when we do it. Typically our experiences follow a similar pattern. I will usually start by touching and caressing her, then manually stimulating her. From there usually we have some mutual touching while I bring her to orgasm, orally or manually. Once she has come I will enter her and finish with intercourse. This has led to her having additional orgasms once or twice, but she says that it always feels nice. Once things are going, she enjoys everything. However, in the early times it can be difficult for her to stay focused and get aroused. We've found that the easiest time is in the mornings she is off because there isn't anything that has happened to distract her yet, except the cats. Can anyone offer any suggestions to help with this? I am worried that she is feeling guilty about what is happening and at the same time, I wish she would be more overtly sexual and take the lead some times. I know that negative feelings breed more negative feelings though and I want to get her to a place where she has the thoughts spontaneously and in a good, positive way. | 2009-04-05 07:51:45 |
| 1001 | 6590 | I have to say that I am surprised that no one has responded to this post yet? I was really hoping for some supportive suggestions here and so far nothing yet? | 2009-04-14 16:55:23 |
| 1001 | 6602 | Well, while reading your post several thoughts cross my mind: You wrote that your wife had no sexual experience before you met, that she never even masturbated. Why is that? Was she brought up in a way to regard sexual desire as something dirty or sinful, so she learned to suppress it? She might not even be aware of that... Is your wife physically healthy? Is she on any kind of medication? Maybe her hormone& levels are somewhat disturbed, and that's why she's lacking sexual desire. She should see a gynocologist to check that. Or maybe she is just made that way. Sexual desire is developed differently in every human beeing - some need it thee times a day, others three times a year... | 2009-04-26 20:18:12 |
| 1001 | 6603 | Hi Miss Doolittle, Thanks for writing back! We have spoken about the way that she was raised and neither of us feel that she was raised to feel bad or dirty about sex, she was raised with very little sexual education or information. She was taught about the body and functions in school, but her parents never really explained anything to her about sex beyond that. Recently she was watching Oprah and Laura Berman was on. She had seen her on the show talking about sex and pleasure and purchased her book as a result. The discussion topic that day was about talking with kids throughout their development and what is appropriate at what time. My wife commented that she wishes she had had a talk like that with her parents so she could have known that sex could be pleasurable and enjoyable rather than just a biological function. I have wondered if there was something she was exposed to that made her think of sex in a negative way, but I don't think that was the case. I think because of her lack of exposure to it, she had fallen into the belief that sex was dirty and she was dirty "down there" but that has subsided. Overall her health is good. She is fit and tries to stay active by going to the gym, also we kayak and walk together outside. She takes the pill, of which we have tried several varieties to see if a lower hormone version would make her feel more excitable. The type she prefers at this point is the Seasonale type with the three month pack. It's not so much that she can't get excited, it just doesn't happen as often or easily as I know I would like, or I think she wants. This past weekend we were able to do something a little different that I think helped her to relax and get in the mood more easily. We haven't been able to have music on in the bedroom thanks to a broken CD player but we brought in our laptop and used that for sound and it seemed to help her clear her mind from the distractions and keep things moving. I was actually able to bring her to climax twice in a row, something I know she can do when she masturbates but I usually can't make happen. It is likely that she is "made that way" her body seems to work in two week cycles of arousal. Usually we don't do much of anything during the week, she gets tired very early or we watch TV. Where she works every other weekend, usually on the weekends she has off we will have sex once and she can get very excited and aroused. Like I said in the earlier post, she is easily distracted and can lose her arousal if the cats come up on the bed or her mind wanders. We have wondered a little if she might have a slight hormone imbalance as well. She has her annual checkup in about a month so hopefully she'll write herself a note to ask questions about these things in there. We both want to get more info about different birth control options too. I am hoping she would try something less "variable" or able to be forgotten like Norplant or a new IUD but she has some reservations about both of these devices. She used to use Depo Provera but didn't like how it made her feel. We are keeping an open dialogue about this situation and I am sharing this post board with her so she can get ideas from what others have written. Any additional thoughts are welcome, thanks! | 2009-04-27 06:55:22 |
| 1004 | 6578 | HI all, & & I'm new to this site and it is absolutely awesome. The quantity and quality of information on here is endless , I love it. Anyway, I have a question regarding the possibility of desensitizing a clitoris. I am in my early 20s now, and I have not had an orgasm( I don't think). When I was younger I used to masturbate by using a broom and leaning it against a desk or table, I would then straddle it and press my vulva against it including my clit. Sometimes I would hop on the broom and use my entire weight on it. This felt amazing, but I never brought myself to orgasm this way. I did it for a couple of years. Until, I was caughty and then I Stopped, until I was in my teens and the hormones kicked in and I tried it again, although it felt good I never achieved orgasm this way. After that mini revisit, it was off again off again pressure on my clit. I would do it for 15mins maybe at most, usually about 3 mins per session. & & & Now, I am in my 20s,, my clit is above avg in size and it does become erect, but it doesn't seem that sensitive, I can rub and press on it directly with very lil pleasureable feeling.& I read the bike riding article. I don't know if I permanetly damaged my clit this way. Is it possible? I have invested in vibrators and I have applied a lot of pressure on my clit and I did feel it pulsating as I came close, but I never reached the goal. & & & I have used the vibrating ears that comes on a rabbit vibrator and those sensations are insanely strong, it would cause me to squirt but not orgasm, sometimes the squirt would be pee, sometimes its a mixture of psa fluid/ pee I think. I have been trying to cum for 6 months now. I have used vibrators thrusting in and out of me , which I like better than the clit rubbing. One time ,& I suspected I might have came with a long time of arousal, and like 20mins of thrusting and some clit rubbing, I sprayed a lot of fluid after I took the toy out. A LOT of fluid that was clear, it was pleasureable.... not mindblowingly pleasureable ... , but I didn't really feel any type of contraction on my clit, or vagina, or body... So I'm not sure if i did or not. Tried many toys, hitachi, rabbit, hand, pulsating water faucet... Any insight, suggestions, recommendations or comments from the more experienced patrons of the site would be deeply appreciated. thankyou in advance | 2009-04-11 00:03:52 |
| 1004 | 6581 | In a nutshell, don't try to orgasm. It's very possible that you simply aren't a clit type girl. I think a lot of people, mostly women, have strong preconceptions about there being a "proper" way to masturbate. It's true that most women prefer clitoral stimulation, but that doesn't mean it's what works best for you. It sounds like penetration is more pleasurable for you, so try exploring that aspect. Be aware that the vagina is more complex than a simple hole. Experiment with penetration at varying speeds, different sizes, different textures of toys, etc. Perhaps experiment with your fingers trying to find specific spots that are especially responsive to touch. Or rather, instead of simply thrusting straight in and out, try different angles that focus the pressure in various spots. Mentally you should not be focusing on orgasm. You should instead let your mind wander a bit more. By focusing on orgasm, you are mentally trying to recognize a specific sensation you're not familiar with. Instead, take a broad approach and just try various things that feel the best to you. If you focus on increasing the stimulation of the moment rather than reaching a certain goal, your body will get to the point of orgasm on its own. It's just like the saying "a watched pot never boils." That said, don't ignore the rest of your body. If your clit feels good, then stimulate that with your fingers or a vibrator at the same time. Also, many women respond positively to stimulation of the nipples or anus, so those are other options to explore. Don't neglect the mental aspect either. State of mind is arguably the most important element in orgasm. If you have fantasies that turn you on, develop them so they put you more completely in the mood. If you don't have any or many good fantasies, there are plenty of ideas to explore that you can find in porn, erotica, and various places on the net. | 2009-04-12 05:12:39 |
| 1004 | 6604 | Pay close attention to the advice by DFS3. You say nothing about your social life or sexual orientation. Perhaps you are not turned on because you do not mix with people who turn you on. Are you a student? Do you have a job? Are you curious about men your age? What sort of conversations do you have with people? Do you live alone or flat with others? Do you do sports or have a hobby? Are you lesbian or bi? Do you ever partake of erotic writing or imagery? How is your overall health? From what you describe, you've been too rough on yourself in the past. That's not the way to go. Something else. People vary in their sexual qualities. You may be less sensitive in the clit than most women are. This does not mean you are doomed to a life without pleasure, but that your clit can stand more forthright handling. I know of what I speak here because my aging penis is not supersensitive, and that is true even though I have all the pink bits Mother Nature saw fit to give me. You need to spend some quality time strictly alone and undisturbed in your bed. Explore your pussy with the help of a hand mirror. Caress your body and learn to like it. Daydream about seeing people you like naked, and of letting people you like see you naked. You can finger your clit if you like, but start slow and gentle. Also pay attention to your inner lips. Do they become engorged? Use a hand mirror to become visually acquainted with your erect clit. Move the hood around if you can. Gently work your clit with your thumb and index finger. Let erotic thoughts flow through your mind. Imagine yourself lovingly undressing someone you like and discovering their intimate areas. If you are in the mood, insert 1-2 clean fingers in your vagina. See if you can find pleasure spots. Daydream about a man or woman you like inserting their fingers into you. Caress your breasts and admire your nipples. Take your time. If you feel excitement building, you are normal. Getting to orgasm is a detail you can gradually work up to over the course of several sessions of the kind I've just been describing. Like many men, I do not appreciate vibrators. I also am not qualified to speak about dildoes. You've apparently tried a lot of this stuff, to no avail. Hands and fingers are best. Should you begin sexual activity, I recommend beginning with caressing and massage. Then slow and gentle oral. May the person you happen to meet be expert at it! | 2009-04-27 14:49:44 |
| 1005 | 6580 | Hi all. I am new to the forum and wanted to thank you for doing an awesome job for female sexuality. When i discovered the site i realised how precious little i knew about it by that time. Here's the cause. What we are told at school is pretty much about reproduction and absolutely nothing beside of that. Typical. In exhilarating contrast, the wealth and value of information on your pleasant site beats other sources i know of hands down. It has been and still is, a true revelation to me. Lately i asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an orgasm. She said she hadn't, but didn't seem to be quite sure about it. Then i asked her if she masturbates, she stated: 'This is not interesting'. There was a slightly astonished untertone in her voice. This leaves me totally stunned and desperate. This is the exact opposite of me. I began to discover myself at least at the age of six years. I don't remember about my earlier years. But i think it to reach even further back. She is in her very late twenties and didn't even have one single orgasm you see. I didn't count it, but i must have had several thousands of orgasms. This is very important to me. So i feel that everyone should have orgasms because i know it to be great. Therefore i only wished she would have had such. A special concern of mine is the female orgasm. I have a very fond attitude about it. From what i have learned it is far more intense and lasts significantly longer than the male version. And i am keenly aware that as a male, women will outlast me with ease any day. So i am jealous, but with good reason. With that in mind, of course i don't really understand why she says masturbation would be 'not interesting'. Does she have any desire at all, or so i wonder since i know her. How is it that she would say something like that. If she knew the pleasure of her own orgasm and all that leads to one of these she could never have said that. Thats why i feel sure of that she did never have one. This leads me to my worries. She is well and doesn't seem to miss anything. Maybe this isn't very uncommon. I am aware that orgasms and masturbation don't necessarily need to be a 'must' for a woman to live a fulfilling life. But i am also aware of my girlfriend's very full timetable. I fear that she may never have had enough time to relax enough, so that she doesn't ever have even thought about something like masturbation. I think i am the only one to ever have spoken to her about it. I hope not. I would love to encourage her to discover herself and to flourish. I am not exactly sure how susceptible she is to my trying to make her more aware of herself. I don't know how far i can go. I have the feeling that i have to be careful. I'm not even sure if she will take me serious for my attempts. I don't want that she becomes weary of the issue or even ceases to speak to me at all because of it. Currently i don't see this coming but i just don't want to loose her at all. My uncertainty regarding this stems from her family being a rather religious one. Doesn't seem very harsh though. So i have no way to estimate the overall impact here. I realise very well that there's absolutely nothing wrong with female sexuality. I would even say its the best way to live as female. Does she realise it's simply perfect? And she has it all. Whenever i talk to her about sexuality she gets rather silent. But then again, she is very calm overall. I have the impression that sex in general and her own too don't concern her in the slightest. I would be thrilled if she proved me wrong. I very much wish it. So how am i supposed to approach her about this. We don't have a relationship. She doesn't seem to have very much time for me. I guess it's not her fault though. I imploringly wish she was a more sexual person for her own sake, mind you. How may i help her to liven up and to flourish? | 2009-04-11 22:53:07 |
| 1005 | 6582 | WOW..you don't say how old are both of you but as a woman I think she just want a "buddy" to talk to, to confide(some things) but for some reason(cultural or organic) she is no ninterested in sexual activity. The true of the situation is that you "can drive the horse to the waterhole but you can't make'm drink" so I don't have a good advice& Luisa | 2009-04-12 13:14:24 |
| 1005 | 6583 | Thanks for the reply. We are both 29 and and first met at age 6. So we know each other quite well. For that reason i could have almost guessed that she just doesn't know desire. Or maybe she doesn't recognise it as the epic force which empowers us to virtually climax at will, given the right time and place. Could that be the case? I don't know. Ok, its not possible for me to overlook it if i get desirous for obvious reasons. Or does she very well know desire and just hides it from me for some reason? Can it be that she simply considers her sexuality as too important and private for her to admit it to anyone? Unwilling to risk it if someone gets to know. Can be a good reason. Most of my life i was just the same for that matter. And still am, to a degree. And i would only let very good friends know about it when i deemed them worthy of knowing. I would only tell someone of whom i knew she/he won't make fun of me afterwards. I wouldn't want to have something sullied which i hold so dear. Maybe i just don't have reached the point where she would tell me freely. Beholder | 2009-04-12 19:22:28 |
| 1005 | 6631 | Lately I've met her again and tried to explain to her that she would obtain a rewarding skill by learning to masturbate. But i sense anything i try is in vain since she doesn't know what an orgasm feels like. But if she knew she would never say it were uninterresting, no way. Anyone who does it and loves it has stumbled upon it by chance. Prior to such an event one cannot know what it is, what it feels like and how to get it. The difference between us is that i found out by chance quite early (age 5-6) and she didn't. Simple as that. Before age 5 i just don't remember, maybe it could reach even further back. So i could say or do what i want, there's no way i could ever convince her. I cannot be sure, but she seems to be totally devoid of desire, arousal and passion let alone extasy or orgasm. Overlooking all of this however, she is just great, intelligent, nice. Doesn't worry me too much that we don't have anything near caresses or sex. If she only wants somebody to talk, here i am. I'm only saying i were avid if she stumbled upon it at long last... Beholder | 2009-05-10 12:08:31 |
| 1006 | 6584 | I was having a discussion with a friend about why some women may have problems masturbating or achieving orgasm while masturbating, so I decided to whip up this poll. www.misterpoll.com/polls/429617 | 2009-04-12 22:12:46 |
| 1008 | 6594 | I am male, writing in the hope of getting some advice and opinions to benefit a lady I have deep feelings for.& English is not my native language, so if the style seems a bit funny to you, please bear with it. After travelling SE Asia for some months, I began to feel very lonely. The tourists were travelling in pairs or families and had no interest for outsiders. "Good" Asian ladies were unapproachable and the men were mainly con-artists. Hanging around Thailand for a fortnight, I succumbed to the charms of a sweet-looking 23 year old massage girl. We negotiated a price and Noi moved in with me. I threated her& & like a cherished girlfriend and the young woman took immediately a great liking to me.& The& sex with Noi was the best in my life. Nothing was denied, but since I took medicine that impaired my potency, I spent an improportionate lenght of time to please Noi. There was not a single day on which I played Noi´s body less than 5 hours. Her moanig, jerking and clutching proved that she enjoyed every minute of it, but Noi never had an orgasm. Except one time, early in our marathon. It is possible that she faked it for my benefit, because she never had another one. After some days, Noi and I were getting very close emotionally. Noi´s dictionary remained in a drawer, short looks or nods sufficed for minds attuned to each other. Noi began to act very loving. She bought& me little presents, then hung a Buddha amulet around my neck for my protection. Sex got more torrid every day. I began to fist Noi, but only after the third day trying did Noi impale herself with an heroic, pain-defying effort to have me at long last all the way inside her. I was getting short of money, as much as I longed to stay with this girl, I didn´t dare to spend any more. Noi took the moderate amount I could give her, then stayed with me for an other 3days and nights. Till I had to leave Asia. On the last day, our love-making started early and with desperate intensity. Noi´s upper body hung from my arm like a wet rag, her head lolled backwards, touching the wall. This strong personality had given herself unconditionally to me, a 65 year old man who could have been her grandfather. I was& making certain that Noi would never regret it and that she would & feel like going to heaven.Noi caressed my probing tongue with her own and welcomed my invasive fist. Our eyes stared hungrily, as if intent on burning holes into each others retina.From Time to time, Noi disentwined her tongue to croak "dahling" or "oil"(KYjelly). Ocasionally, she asked me to withdraw my fist, only to pull it immediately towards herself again. When exhausted, we lay limply in each others arms. My bus was leaving this afternoon. We sat silently waiting in the hotel lounge. I caressed Noi like I had done all my waking hours. The cynical part of my mind wondered whether Noi stayed hoping for some substantial parting present. I was going to watch her emotions with eagles eyes. The crowded little bus arrived. I handed my baggage to the driver, then sprinted back to Noi. She stared with red, watery eyes into my face. I gave her one last quick kiss and whispered my wishes for Buddha´s protection into& Noi´s ear, then ran to the bus before I started bawling myself. The bus was rolling as I flattened my cheek against the glass. The last I saw, was Noi standing with a glum face on the hotels stairs. One year later, I am still thinking of her for many hours every day.*************** Everybody who read my story so far, got very hostile. I ought to be castrated and clubbed. Noi ought to be locked into a madhouse& to protect her from herself and to prevent her from setting a bad example to womanhood. What do the ladies in this forum think? Has Noi some mental problem which I exploited?& I think that I am& decent.& & & If I were still a young man, I would ask Noi to marry me.& & Is there anything I can help with Noi´s anorgasmia? & | 2009-04-23 06:04:51 |
| 1008 | 6596 | Insane? Oh heavens no, I dont think so. I dont find any problem with large age gaps between partners. She was consenting, shes an adult, no problem. Admitedly its not the norm but its not illegal so who cares. Im personally seeing a man 18 years older then me. Not as large of a difference, but still, all my girlfriends think Im insane! A lot of women like older men for theexperiance they can offer. And as for myself, Iv come to reaqly consider age to be nothing more then a number, irrelevant to relationships. As for her inability to orgasm, there are many threads around here thataddress thatsort of issue. | 2009-04-23 15:04:59 |
| 1008 | 6629 | I'm 27. For 2 or 3 years, I've been good friends with a divorced, womanizing man, age 63. I always told myself that nothing would ever happen between us, sexually, because I was "too smart" for that (given his love-'em-and-leave-'em history, and to an extent, mine as well) and because it would just be...well, weird. And gross, so I initially thought. I'm sure you can guess where this is going. It happened. After having been friends with this guy for several years, and after having established a longstanding emotional intimacy that had never gone past a couple quick hugs, it happened. And it freaked me out after. I thought I'd lost a friend; I wondered whether he'd just dump me like all the rest of them; I had no idea how he felt about me. Long story short, we've had sex multiple times now, and I always tremendously enjoy it. We live in different cities, so that places a lot of limitations on the situation. Still, I have pretty intense feelings for him. He and I have never discussed emotions beyond agreeing that we're friends. I'm aware of his womanizing ways, and he's seen me go through a number of men. So maybe there's a mutual, unspoken skepticism of the other's sincerity; I don't know. The point is, I do love him. I'm telling you this because I want you to know that it is totally possible for a young woman to love a man 37 years older than she is. And all I want is for him to love me back. I don't even want a ring on my finger. If he were ever to tell me that he loved me, it would feel...fantastic. (There's not even a good enough word to describe how joyful I'd feel.) In my case, that will probably never happen. But, if the girl, Noi, that you were seeing was crying when you left, then you should tell her you still think about her, have feelings for her, and love her--even a year or more later. Believe me, even if marriage is not what comes of it, she wants with all her heart to hear those things from you. | 2009-05-09 19:00:42 |
| 1008 | 6639 | Thanks ladies for your interest. I took my time to reply to Tembers because I was hoping for more submissions. After all, there must be hundreds of thousands mature and young who might develop strong feelings for each other if they would only let themselves. Society has brainwashed most of us into believing that loving and/or erotic feelings between young and old are wrong, weird, disgusting. It needs strong characters to stand up to continuous disapproval,& even contempt. Tember,I don´t know how old you are. If you were 16 and your lover 18 years older, you would have to be extra careful , because there would be a good chance that you& are being& taken advantage of. Still, true love could be possible and nobody has the right to interfere. Should you be 60, the age difference won´t be so noticeable. The opinions of friends shouldn´t worry you any more. It´s your life and your happiness. A great partner is more worth than a hundred friends. & Greent, you write that there might be doubt of your sincerity. Maybe so , maybe not so.& & It is also possible that& your friend is for some reasons incapable of loving in an all-consuming way. That he is quite satisfied with the way things are at the moment. Or, maybe your friend loves you deeply, but doesn´t dare to tell you, because he feels that he is& too old and doesn´t want to burden you. He knows that in 15 years from now you will still feel the need for sex and being looked after, instead you will be his fulltime nursing maid. I think you have 2 choices of action:& & enjoy while it lasts, but don´t live for him only.& & Or, let him know your feelings. You may frighten him away, but if you don´t tell, the whole relationship will end sooner or later anyway. Even if it´s only because he thinks it is the best for you. If he withdraws sooner, at least you will be still young enough to get yourself another man. You sound like a very nice lady, it´s not possible that you can´t get a truly loving partner. I truly wish that everything works out the way Tember and greent are dreaming of. & | 2009-05-20 05:56:13 |
| 1008 | 6640 | ah, sorry, I should have mentioned my age. I am 20, still fairly young yes, but I am an adult. :) | 2009-05-20 11:19:32 |
| 1008 | 6642 | Greent, I see you are writing with a full heart. I can´t contact Noi anymore, I don´t know her phone no. or adress and she never asked for mine. We only know each others nick-names. I told Noi within the first 5 minutes that I have been married for 25 years and this was the first time I strayed. Had I known that the intended 10 minute massage would end in love and heartache, I would have made a wide bow around the massage parlors. If I were younger and unmarried, I would have asked Noi to marry me. It is possible that she would have refused. After all, being hired as a vacation girlfriend is her way of supporting her family(apart from massaging). However, I believe she would have agreed. & But the chance of getting old together would have been very slim. The differences between a western man and a poor ricefarmers daughter are enormous. She is used to a diet of insects, field-rats and flaming hot curries and is convinced of the existence of countless ghosts. Also, Asian extended families hang like millstones on the couples legs. Still, I would have tried. By now I am certain that Noi felt love for& me. Which makes the memory as sweet as it is& aching. & Lately, I have observed numerous physically mature persons with truly child- like& ways of thinking. They wouldn´t last a week in S.America or in Asia. On the other hand, there are children with razor-sharp minds, born survival machines. The difference between them must be the upbringing and life experience. It is definitely not the age which is, as Tember noted, just a number on a rag of paper. & Who would be the more interesting and reliable partner, the scarred survivor or the smooth whinger who& is convinced & that the world owes him a living? Unfortunately,we have been brainwashed again. Movies and advertisements& show only& pictures& of handsome people with sexy bodies. Reality can´t quite catch up with this. I know 3 women who& waited for Mr. Wonderful. Two of them are frustrated old maids now, the third married some creep as desparate as her. Greents partner must be interesting. A woman who doesn´t have any problems attracting young males wouldn´t be interested in some pensioner feeding pigeons in the park. & & | 2009-05-24 02:46:02 |
| 1008 | 6643 | Qay-- I didn't know you were married. I'm definitely not passing judgement. But that sort of "it can never be" reality can sometimes make a situation seem more poignant and romantic than it actually is. Then again, I am not one to determine other people's feelings for each other. If you feel you are in love, then you are. No one else can tell you otherwise. Maybe I should take a dose of my own medicine and admit that, in the back of my mind, the "it can never be" reality of the situation between the older guy and me provided a false sense of safety in which I felt more comfortable to open my heart. (This is something of a pattern for me--never with a partner so old, but often with a partner with whom I knew things could never really work out. My therapist agrees, haha.) In other words, I have this bad habit of jumping into something BECAUSE I know there is no long-term future in it. So, when it ends, there's always been a part of myself that I've reserved and never let go of because in the back of my mind I always knew it was going to end anyway. It's pretty self-sabotaging, and it's a pattern I'm trying to break. It's a twisted way of "playing it safe" by consciously never dating people that I believe there's a long-term future with. I did not, however, expect to end up with feelings for the older man that were so strong. I expected it to be kind of a harmless, heartless fling, but my feelings got way more involved than I had planned. Each time this happens to me, it confirms that I DO have a heart, that I really would enjoy a long-term relationship that is healthy and stable...I just haven't gotten over my fears enough to really seek out something so "risky", i.e. a relationship wherein I stand to lose everything should it not work out. Who knows... | 2009-05-24 16:00:13 |
| 1008 | 6644 | Adendum to what I just wrote-- I do have to admit that I am always one who trusts in the validity of feelings. Even if they occur within an "unrealistic" or contrived situation, they are there, and they are real. Here's what I mean by this. (I'm giving a theatre example because I know something about that.) An actor onstage doesn't just "act" as though he/she is feeling a certain emotion. He actually FEELS it. You can't fake tears. You have to feel something, and then the tears come. So even though you may not literally be Juliet mourning Romeo's suicide, the feeling you recall or experience to produce the tears in that scene is a real feeling. By the same token, in life, even if when you feel you love someone, the feelings occur in an "unrealistic"/"it can never be" scenario, the feelings are 100% real. If you feel them, then they are there. I'm kind of rambling now...I grew up in a family that believed "love is not a feeling; it's a commitment." By that logic, you only truly love someone you are committed to. But I've come to believe that feelings are valid, and if you feel something, it's real, and no one can tell you otherwise. Maybe sometimes it takes the "safety" of a relationship that can never be for people to open their hearts and feel things more deeply than they would under "normal" societal constraints. | 2009-05-24 16:16:47 |
| 1008 | 6671 | INSANE!& & Every one of the many "working girls" I made friends with on this& recent trip to meet my lover said so. Noi failed her duty to make as much money as possible to support her family. To stay with a man for& a& mere pittance& shows irresponsibility, even a lack of pride. No girl in her right mind would do that. Imagine the loss of face! That the man Noi was so fond of was old enough to be her grandfather didn´t raise a single eyebrow. Age demands respect, people are taken at their face value. "Sawatdee kha, fly& Thai Air again" I stepped into the sauna of Thailands wet season. The taxidriver overcharged savagely, but I didn´t give a damn. I directed the driver to the massage parlor I had grown to know so well. My heart begun to thump. Was Noi still working here? Had she vanished forever? The ladyboy at the parlors entrance beamed with recognition. Mamasan still remembered my name and country of origin.& "Noi, is she still& here?" Frenzied telephoning. "Wait, 10 minutes!" Noi`s big smile warmed my heart. No tears of joy as I had half expected, but delightful anyway. She took my hand, "get hotel loom!" Ten minutes later, Noi exited the shower wrapped into a towel. The moment I had dreamed of for eleven long months had arrived. I took her into my arms and kissed her bemused face a hundred times. As I begun to unwrap Noi´s towel, her body stiffened.& OK, sex could wait. Next morning, Noi´s wrappings fell. She seemed to do it more out of a sense of duty than eagerness to unite with a lover. Noi´s lips remained closed when kissed. Didn´t she remember our hungrily entwined tongues?& My hand was nudged aside as I touched her vagina. "Noi, have you forgotten how happy my hands and lips made you last time? You almost fainted with joy!" I began to feel disappointed, this was not what I had expected. But Noi would open up again, I was certain. Two days later I admitted defeat and left. Noi had become a different person. Last years joy was ancient history. | 2009-06-18 06:27:46 |
| 1008 | 6672 | qay-- This sounds like an excerpt from a novel. Did you actually go back and visit her?? By the way, I found out why the older guy in my life disappeared. He finally called and told me he'd met someone closer to his own age. We're still friends, though. | 2009-06-18 15:42:32 |
| 1008 | 6677 | I just returned from Thailand one week ago and you are not reading a novel. It´s real, unfortunately. I am attaching a ZIP document to this reply, it tells Noi´s and my story in detail. This zipped story was originally written for a site about Thai matters. The webmaster however, threw the story back into my face. Filthy old man doing terrible things to a exploited innocent--disgusting. My story was written the "novel& way" because I am always worried about boring the reader. Since this style has been successful once in an adventure book I wrote (in English, with the help of half a dozen editors), I tend to go back to it when the subject matter excites me. English not being my native language, I don´t have many ways of expressing myself. greent---Maybe I am reading things into your words you didn´t mean. "The guy disappeared", doesn´t sound that nice or kind. People should be extremely gentle with the feelings of others,& whether there is something to be gained or not. I think that "still being friends" is not exactly what you were looking for. greent, I wrote a personal message for you, open it. | 2009-06-20 01:26:23 |
| 1008 | 6679 | I think that I found an explanation for Noi´s behaviour. To get over Noi´s forgetfulness, I consoled myself with another massage lady. Om was 24, one of the tens of thousands of deserted mothers found in Thailand. She was not as attractive as Noi, but gave the impression of a forlorn little housewife looking for closeness. I appreciated this need, since my heart was still hurting. As could be expected, we got on extremely well. On the morning of the 5th day, I deceided to test Om´s feelings by telling Om that I couldn´t afford her anymore. Om wasn´t happy about that. She didn´t want to go back to work straight away but stay a little longer. Five hrs later, I had to free myself from her embrace. My bladder was at the verge of bursting and I was starving. After stuffing ourselves, we needed a digestive walk, then rest from the walk with lots of cuddling. By the time we got out of bed, the day and half the night was gone. I was moved, a working girl staying free of charge meant great sympathy or fondness. In the morning I paid for the past day, I had no intention of depriving a young mum of her earnings. Om grabbed the bunch of bahts as if she couldn´t care less. Two days later, my holiday was over and Om went back to work straight in the morning. The day and night of clinging was forgotten, only money mattered. Since my plane left late, I visited Om in her parlor for a foot massage I didn´t care for. I just wanted her to earn a bit more . Om overcharged me as if I was a complete stranger. What did I learn?& & Most natives of tropical countries live for the day only, but Thai working girls take this to extremes. Yesterday and tomorrow are aeons away, unpleasant or fond memories bring nothing, thus are a waste of time. No wonder that Noi had let me slip from her mind. | 2009-06-25 06:15:34 |
| 1010 | 6614 | Do women realise that the smell of their juices on their knickers is a big turn on for most men. and if they have got the hots enough for the juices to wet the knickers,when they take them off they should give them to their partner. A friend of mine says this is also& true for lesbians | 2009-05-01 05:43:34 |
| 1010 | 6615 | actually Im a straight& female and I find my own smell is a turn on | 2009-05-01 20:36:40 |
| 1011 | 6616 | I masturbated for the first time (in the day) and I reached orgasm as usual. I wanted to masturbate again about an hour later and I did it but didn't reach orgasm, what is more my clit lost sensitivity and turned white (it is usually pink). I stopped and looked at it, it's still white, the area of hood is sore and I feel nothing when I touch my clit. Is it possible that I've broken it? I've been masturbating just recently, like 2 months ago. Please help! I'm very worried and scared :( | 2009-05-03 16:26:37 |
| 1011 | 6617 | Hi dear... do not worry, it will be ok maybe you squeezed harder than usual but it won't be damaged forever. Get in the tub and take a long bath in hot water with your favorite lotion; the dark red color is due to extra blood circulating in that area (if your clit was damaged the color will be mor than dark dark red to purple). Don't get anxious the stress won't help. Good luck luisa | 2009-05-03 19:15:08 |
| 1011 | 6618 | Hey dont worry, itll be sore for a little while if youwent too rough on it... take a breakfrom masturbating (at least masturbating using the clit anyways) for a few days and itll be fine :) | 2009-05-03 20:06:42 |
| 1011 | 6619 | Thanks for the answers! luisa, I don't have a tube, just the shower :(. Great to see that it's not damaged, it's not purple or dark red, but it is white :? Is that normal? My boyfriend said I could use some vaseline on it and wait 'til it heals. Any opinion? It still hurts a little. | 2009-05-03 20:44:36 |
| 1011 | 6621 | Hi dearest....I'm happy to hear you're healing...use some warm towels or low heat 2 or 3 times a day, you can use around the vulva greasy creams& but inside the vagina is better use only water soluble creams in order to keep the goodbacteria alive. Like Tember said it willheal and it will get used to the stimulation, what about some loving licking to make him respond? Love Luisa | 2009-05-04 12:58:50 |
| 1011 | 6622 | Thanks for the advice, I'll use the warm towels to make it heal faster :) Unfortunately my boyfriend is away so I will have to wait 'til it heals without pampering it :( Thank you again. This site is great :) | 2009-05-04 13:22:49 |
| 1011 | 6624 | Well, it's been two days since I hurt it. Today I tried to touch it and I don't feel anything! And it seems to be 'erected' since that day! Or is it just swollen? It doesn't hurt anymore, but I don't feel it Help!:-(( | 2009-05-05 17:28:26 |
| 1011 | 6625 | Hi Nymph, everything seems to be fine, try to mastrubate stimulating other parts of your body, like :nipples, butt, anus, vagina, etc and don't& think about about your clit it will be ok very soon...love Luisa@};- | 2009-05-05 19:18:54 |
| 1011 | 6626 | I wasn't trying to masturbate, just touched it to see how it is. I think it's dead. I just don't feel it. Maybe I'm worrying too much, but as I am sort of new in this, I do worry. :( | 2009-05-05 23:10:55 |
| 1011 | 6627 | The more worried you get the more likely you wont be able to get a reaction out of it. Keep leaving it alone and try notto think about it. If Iv masturbated too much then Ioften feel numb fora while, it gets harder to get aroused. Maybe try readingsome really good erotica and wait& untill your way past in the mood and then try. Of course if your really convinced that theres something wrong, dont take our word for it, ask a doctor, in person. Even if just for your peace of mind. Its always a good idea to err on the safe side,and dontjust trust people on the internet, because we dont have all the facts and nobody knows your body better then you. | 2009-05-06 03:15:17 |
| 1011 | 6628 | I've never seen a gynecologist. And I live alone. My mom is coming to visit next week. Although she doesn't know I masturbate I'll ask her to take me to the clinic because I'm a little afraid to go alone for the first time. Thanks for all the advice and support, you two rock. I'll let you know when I get better. Tnahk you again. | 2009-05-06 16:11:03 |
| 1011 | 6632 | It's healed. :) | 2009-05-10 23:39:51 |
| 1011 | 6633 | Wonderfull to hear :) | 2009-05-11 00:29:40 |
| 1011 | 6635 | Estoy feliz por ti, ya estaras tranquila& Luisa | 2009-05-11 17:54:10 |
| 1013 | 6636 | Poll: Women worry more about their figures than their health The Associated Press Scan the breathless headlines at any magazine rack — Fight Flab in Minutes! Get Beach Ready! Add the skinny yet buxom model, and it should be no surprise that the average woman feels insecure if not downright unhappy with her real-world figure. Hang on: Are we worried just about appearance, or about whether our size signals a health problem? There's a big disconnect between body image and true physical condition, an Associated Press-iVillage poll suggests. A lot of women say they're dieting despite somehow avoiding healthy fruits and veggies. Many others think they're fat when they're not. "The priorities are flipped," says Dr. Molly Poag, chief of psychiatry at New York's Lennox Hill Hospital. She points to women athletes as much better role models than supermodels: "There's an undervaluing of physical fitness and an overvaluing of absolute weight and appearance for women in our culture." About 60 percent of Americans are overweight or obese. The AP-iVillage poll of 1,000 adult women mirrors the government's count on that. More surprising, perhaps, are women's attitudes and actions. Half don't like their weight, even 26 percent of those whose body mass index or BMI — a measure of weight for height — is in the normal range. But just a third don't like their physical condition, even though being overweight and sedentary are big risk factors for Type 2 diabetes, heart disease and other ailments. The poll found women putting in a median of 80 minutes of exercise a week, meaning half do even less. The average adult is supposed to get 2-1/2 hours of exercise a week for good health. And just 8 percent of women ate the minimum recommended servings of fruits and vegetables — five a day. A staggering 28 percent admit they get that recommended serving once a week or less. Time is a big barrier. "I was a fanatic about exercise when I was younger, and I quit focusing on that when I had kids," says Laura Comer, 45, of Sugar Land, Texas, a mother of two. But she just her lost her job as a hospital system vice president and is using the new free time to ease in more activity. First up: walking 10,000 steps a day. Vesna Stemwell, 51, of Delano, Minn., has a sedentary job — she's a computer programmer — with lots of overtime and a 45-minute commute. Temporarily giving up meat and dairy products for a religious observance helped her drop five pounds, so she's considering becoming vegetarian to drop more. But her husband isn't keen about a menu change. "Changing the diet," Stemwell said, "affects everybody in the house and it's hard to have something different." About a quarter of the women surveyed said they'd consider plastic surgery to feel more beautiful. Their overwhelming choice: a tummy tuck. "There isn't any quick fix," says Dr. Nieca Goldberg, who directs the women's heart program at the New York University Langone Medical Center. A tummy tuck is cosmetic, removing just some surface fat, and a far cry from more radical surgeries like stomach stapling that are reserved to help the health of the very obese. "People can't see the damage that's being done inside their body," says Goldberg. "If you increase your fitness but don't lose as much weight, you still have a lower heart disease risk than someone who is obese and sedentary." At the other end of the spectrum, the poll found 16 percent of normal-weight women who nonetheless are dieting to drop pounds. Most extreme are eating disorders like the anorexia that has tormented Daleen Johnson of Oceanside, Calif., for years. Her two children spurred the 5-foot-9 Johnson to put on 20 pounds in the past year, getting up to 125. "My 8-year-old came up to me and was like, 'Mom, why don't my hip bones stick out like yours?"' said Johnson, 28. "I could put my selfishness aside so that she didn't think being skinny is what matters." Still, Johnson says, "Summer's coming and I'm panicking because I don't think that I'm good enough. I don't look like the supermodel on TV." Eating disorders aside, normal-skinny doesn't automatically mean healthy, stresses University of Houston sociologist Samantha Kwan, who studies gender and body image. "Someone who is fat or even overweight can be healthy if they have a balanced diet and are physically active," Kwan says. "Our culture really does put a lot of pressure on women to look a certain way," taking precedence over health measures. Olive James, 60, of Cincinnati gets that message. She calls herself about 10 pounds over her target weight, but exercises 30 minutes a day and takes her cholesterol and blood pressure medicine. "I do get a lot of compliments for the way I carry myself," she says. "I feel great." The AP-iVillage poll was conducted April 20-30 by Knowledge Networks, which contacted survey participants using traditional telephone and mail polling methods but then intensively questioned them online, providing Internet access for those who needed it. The poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 3.7 percentage points. | 2009-05-12 12:32:46 |
| 1015 | 6646 | Hi all Firstly I just want to say that I love this website. I like the no BS way all sexual matters are dealt with. This is my first post so Hi all! Ok, so Im 29 and have only just started to have orgasms (gasp I know!). I tried unsuccesfully to have them digitally, so resorted to getting a bullet vibrator.. and lo and behold I experienced orgasm! I have to say its the most amazing feeling ever..:) I had up until then been going out with a long term -live in partner for the last 8 years. After I started having orgasms I realised that I wanted more out of a sexual/loving relationship, and basically didnt fancy my partner any more. I think that since I started having orgasms that I have become a more sexual person and want more out of a relationship. Ok so my problem is this..& I think I have gotten too used to climaxing with the vibrator, as it is just so quick and easy. But I worry that when I get into another relationship that he will also not be able to make me climax. So my questions are: 1. How do I teach myself to learn to climax without the vibrator? (it would be great to hear from those who have "taught" themselves to cum by themself and 2. Could I get some positions that would potentially make me orgasm. I would like specifics& if possible :) For any-one reading this who has not yet experienced orgasm but wants to - get a vibrator BUT vary it with digital stimulation.. Thanks Guys Sorry for the life story! Looking forward to hearing all the juicy details!!xx & | 2009-05-25 12:20:42 |
| 1015 | 6650 | Hi..is delicious, isn't it?& haleluja...well..what worked for me was taking time for myself alone and exploring my body trying to find the most sensitive spots , of course I knew(like you) the feeling of an orgasm but this time wasn't my goal, only t know myself better. when I had my sexual body "mapped", then I took time to try each of those spots or more than& one combined and I experienced great orgasms. good luck luisa | 2009-05-25 15:35:49 |
| 1015 | 6652 | Thanks for your reply Luisa x I think your right though. I need to give myself a lot of pampering and time and lets hope it happens (fingers crossed) Actually my flat mate is going away with work for about 8 weeks, so might put the time in then! (Maybe I should warn my neighbours)! Think Im actually going to throw away my vibe, as think it would be too easy to reach for it if I feel frustrated. Damn the thoughts of throwing it away :shock:& !!! But it has to be done!! Any other suggestions/stories/recommendations greatly appreciated xxxxxx | 2009-05-26 17:29:22 |
| 1015 | 6653 | Hi..please don't "retire BOB" while the huby is away, it is nice to know BOB seats quietly in& your drawers, if you needed you can use it. The quiet time you'replanning will hhelp a lot...remember no to rush orgasms, it they come let them come. I forgot to tell you that for us other things help, like: lingerie(don't have to be totally naked), perfumes, music, movies, etc. You ask about positions and I used to hump my teddy bear when I was little and sometimes still do it. Good luck inn your discovery journey& luisa | 2009-05-26 19:09:11 |
| 1015 | 6657 | My own experience and survey statistics indicates well under 1/2 of women orgasm from intercourse alone. Most require additional stimulation of the clitoris in order to achieve climax. Of course, oral sex is quite reliable and you have found the same to be true with a vibrator. You might try using your hand during intercourse or, failing that, using the vibrator. He might also enjoy the vibrations though it may cause him to cum more quickly. | 2009-06-06 05:28:55 |
| 1015 | 6659 | Thanks for your replies guys.. Ok so a little update for those that are interested.. So I have started some heavy masturbation without "BOB" (thanks luisa!)... and I really enjoy it and the sensations...., and get& quite wet,& but I just can seem to get over the final hurdle!! It gets really frustrating, and thats when my 'ole buddy Bob comes back..;) I think Im close but hope I can get there! Will keep the updates coming (hopefully Ill be coming too!!!) xxxxx | 2009-06-08 17:52:51 |
| 1015 | 6666 | Keep it up! It's so amazing isn't it? Just like you, I had my first orgasm 4 years ago with the magic wand ;) I've tried doing it by hand at first but got no where. BUT after I figured out what an orgasm feels like using the vibrator, I came the first time I tried with my hand, mostly because I had zero expectations. And it's been a long journey from there... it took me a long time not to obsess over whether i come or not, how to relax. I am still with same partner I was with back then and he's been very patient. After learning to reach orgasm using hand, I started using that during sex to orgasm. It took a year and a half more till I learned to orgasm without using my hand during sex. My best advice is don't be hard on yourself like I was because once I relaxed and stopped demanding that my body responds how I think it should, masturbating and sex became so much easier. A while back I even orgasmed at work at my desk, with colleagues around by rubbing my thighs together. I was so proud :dude: PS. What really helps is finding things that heavily turn you on. For me it's erotic and explicit sex scenes (not porn though, too fake for my taste)... Here's one of my favorites www.metacafe.com/watch/2542060/sex_scene_from_the_movie_37_2_le_matin/ WARNING: if you have volume on, don't start it any where you can be heard, it's loud ;) | 2009-06-17 14:43:45 |
| 1015 | 6680 | I posted this before in response to another gal's question, but will summarize here: Being 64 yrs of age and having had sex with about 50 women, I have had the opportunity to see how women orgasm.& All but two (for whom direct contact with the clit is too intense....they humped a pillow between their legs) were able to orgasm from my giving them oral stimulation. Apparently a lot of guys quickly tire from using their tongues to pleasure women.& I do tongue exercises and& can last more than 30 minutes, which is what it can take some women to orgasm. Women who have trouble reaching orgasm should not rely solely on vibrators.& Doing so may ultimately make& achieving orgasm "the old fashioned way" difficult.& Women, in my opinion, should look for a partner& who is caring and willing to both experiment and put his lady's pleasure before his. Having a partner's hands caressing your body in addition to his tongue stimulating your labia and clit usually will result in a more intense experience than a vibrator alone. | 2009-06-26 02:47:49 |
| 1015 | 6681 | There is a big advantage to using vibrators as a start: when you never orgasmed before, you don't know what to look for and that is the biggest hurdle. This is also most true if you're also a bit older (say in your 20s) you're already aware of your "failure" and that makes the person even more anxious and orgasm unlikely. And even if one has the most caring and understanding partner (which I did) the fact that they are there waiting or watching or helping just adds tremendous pressure to "succeed". That's how the vibrator helped me at first. Alone with my vibrator I could get as anxious as I want, then calm down and that thing would still be running (something that was incredibly frustrating and discourging to achieve with my hand). That's what I needed, something that would still be running while I dealt with all my emotions (anxiety, frustration, relaxing... orgasm!) I hear it a lot that it is difficult to come the old-fashioned way after using a vibrator but at least for me, it made things much easier. | 2009-06-26 04:05:56 |
| 1016 | 6647 | "While both sexes were more likely to believe that a man can't tell if a woman is faking orgasm, men were significantly (p < .001) more likely to believe that a man can tell if a woman is faking orgasm. These differences no doubt reflect the fact that women know when they are faking and have experienced occasions when they have faked and perceived that their partner did not know. Men, oblivious to such faking, believed the orgasmic reactions were real. Richters et a1.(2006) confirmed that women have orgasm only 69% of their encounters with men, and these most often are the result of manual or oral stimulation." This percentage, 69%, is the number of women who experienced orgasm during their most recent experience of partnered sex. The study found 95% of men experienced orgasm during their most recent experience of partnered sex. For women aged 16-19, 52% experienced orgasm For men aged 16-19, 84% experienced orgasm [url=www.sexscience.org/uploads/media/JSR_43-3_Richters.pdf] www.sexscience.org/uploads/media/JSR_43-3_Richters.pdf | 2009-05-25 12:23:17 |
| 1017 | 6648 | This morning I stumbled upon some survey results that kind of surprised me; see attached image file. I thought during the teen years couples were more likely to engage in foreplay activities than intercourse, but in actuality, couples are much more likely to be engaging in intercourse than only oral sex. Especially for younger teens, shouldn't the percentage engaging in only oral sex exceed the number engaging in intercourse, if foreplay is used to delay the experience of intercourse? Or have teens already progressed from foreplay only to intercourse prior to the age of 15? The data also seems to suggest that once a couple begins to explore partnered sex, intercourse is likely soon to follow. At the age of 15, girls are 3 times more likely to engage in intercourse with her partner rather than engage in oral sex only. At the age of 15, boys are twice as likely to engage in intercourse with his partner rather than engage in oral sex only. If we seek to reduce the frequency of teen pregnancies and STD transmission, doesn't this behavior work against us, as this information indicates teens are more motivated to engage in intercourse than oral sex? Is this biology or society at work? Are teens engaging in intercourse because of their biological sex drive, or because of social and peer pressure? Are they engaging in intercourse because that is what "adults" do, or because their body is telling them to do it? & [url=www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/ad/ad362.pdf] www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/ad/ad362.pdf | 2009-05-25 12:57:29 |
| 1018 | 6651 | Hi all, I have a couple of questions with regard to the G-spot I am wondering if you can help me with. My wife and I have been trying to achieve g-spot orgasm. (Ejaculation would be great if it happens!) I have read a fair amount on the subject including Deborah Sundahl's book on the subject which I bought& for my wife. I must say in younger years I new of the existance ofthe g-spot, but it was not something I concentrated on. I simply knew that if my penis was at a certain angle (never rear entry contrary to a lot of the advice) that a number of my girlfriends woul achieve a non clitoral orgasm. My wife seems to feel the same sort of feelings from the same angle of penetration (the head of my penis rubbing the anterior wal of her vagina) but does not get to the point of orgasm from it,& even on the occasions where I manage to last long enough for the feeling to& get to& the peak. (This position& brings a serious amount of stimulation to bear on myself when it is right) During digital stimulation she is brought to a point but never seems to be able to go over the crest. There is the feeling of needing to pee, and a pleasurable feeling, which builds and then lost as& she thinks she& is about& to achieve orgasm Last night after bringing her to orgasm through& extended vulva massage and& clitoral stimulation, I went on to internal stimulation with my finger. When my finger is inserted to about the second knuckle, I can feel the ridged slightly bulging area, with channels down each side. I massage and press on this area, which brings her some pleasure. However when I introduced my finger all the way, to try and massage the back of the spongy area (where it dips up at the back) I felt a hard bit beyond the ridged area. It was literally the size of a pea, and as hard. Not on the wall but behind. This seems to fit all the descriptions but seems to be in the wrong place.& It was pleasurable when massaged (Alas no orgasm, the feeling was good but faded when stimulated at the crux again) Have I been getting it wrong and have I now got it right? Please can you give me some advise as to what to try in order for my wife to achieve orgasm. (She is not keen on using a dildo but we do on accasion play with a laya spot as it is not penetrative) Your input would be so appreaciated, I look forward to hearing from you. | 2009-05-26 02:33:25 |
| 1019 | 6655 | 28 May 2009 Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Female Ejaculation But& Where Afraid to Ask [url=www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227101.200-everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-female-ejaculation-but-were-afraid-to-ask.html?full=true] www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227101.200-everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-female-ejaculation-but-were-afraid-to-ask.html?full=true 20 February 2008 Ultrasound nails location of the elusive G spot [url=www.newscientist.com/article/mg19726444.100-ultrasound-nails-location-of-the-elusive-g-spot.html] www.newscientist.com/article/mg19726444.100-ultrasound-nails-location-of-the-elusive-g-spot.html | 2009-05-29 14:58:51 |
| 1024 | 6664 | I get the impresion from many Websites that a fair percentage of& white women prefer sex with African/Afro-Caribean men because their penises are longer and thicker and sex with them is more more exciting. & Is this just Website fantasy or is their any substance in such claims? | 2009-06-16 15:04:27 |
| 1024 | 6665 | Many women believe that black men have larger penises, and as a result prefer to pursue them, this is true, but the reality is that the average black man's penis is only about a quarter of an inch longer than the average white man's and the difference in girth is negligible. It's primarily a psychological thing. The internet and porn back this myth up by only showing black men with extremely large penises, and frankly you can't blame them, since the myth sells well. | 2009-06-16 23:24:19 |
| 1024 | 6682 | I heared other types of this conclusion, and they didn't mention anything about penis. I also heard other "women-like"s, such as (beautiful) women like bald men; (fragrant) women like niffy men, women like violent men, etc. I think the scientificity of these conclusions is dubious. I have two opinions on this kind of conclusion. First, this world is ruled by human males. One typical phenomenon of most males is dislike of other males of the same species. Because two male of the same& species may disturb each other in reproduction, eg, when two males copulate with the same female, each has& the probability of 1/2& to successfully reproduce. Therefore a male inclines to expel other males of the same species as much as possible, and the psychological drive of this is the dislike of other males. Human males clearly have this inclination, this can be verified by daily experience. When this inclination& expresses culturally, one result is to define the male beauty with something which is actually& male ugliness. You can test my very claim through your experience. Second opinion. Though racism is politically incorrect, many people is in fact secret racists.& I can be sure of this at least in East Asia. They think Blacks are the ugliest, and they even dare say this publically.& Most whiter people in Western society can't publically say racism, but they may tend to indirectly express this. For example, when they (maybe& whiter males) say most (white or fair Asian) women like darker men,& and they don't mention& larger penis, their mentality may be this: they (secretly) think Blacks are ugly, and they hate other fairer men because they (secretly) think they are more beautiful and more competitive, and they fabricate the& "fact" that (whiter) women like darker men and culturalize their invented fact, thus culturally hinder whiter men to court women. An indisputable fact is that, unlike natural phenomena, social phenomena can be produced by theories which may be later& wrongly regarded as a successful "prediction" of the phenomena. If you say some social phenomena exist, and if people regard you as some kind& of authority, then, even if the phenomena don't exist today, they may exist tomorrow. I can't be sure that my second opinion is right. But when we see this kind of theories, especially when they are not interested in whether black women liking black men, we'd better be more skeptical. | 2009-06-26 10:04:06 |
| 1024 | 6711 | Well....I'd suggest that cultural traditions, sexual experience, personal values, and the desire to be a sensitive partner have an effect on one's lovemaking. The color of one's skin would have about the same effect as the family name. | 2009-07-30 00:42:02 |
| 1026 | 6670 | I've seen a lot of posts about women worried about their labia minora - but not their outer-lips. I'm hoping this site can help me out! :D I've masturbated since I was young - I am 18 now, and for the past couple years i've masturbated daily- sometimes several times a day. Recently I've noticed that just the left side of my labia major is swollen. It hangs down more than the other side, and because it has happened recently I am very worried about it - could it be a result of masturbating too much? I masturbate by rubbing over my clit, so that part of my skin is rubbed quite often. If this is the case, is it bad for me/ should I stop masturbating this way?? Also for the past year the left side has been swollen. Twice during this period two pimples have occurred on this left labia. (I'm only guessing that they're pimples - could they be blisters or cysts??) They both disappeared after a couple weeks time. If anyone else has this or can tell me if its very uncommon and I should do something about it that would be amazing! Thanks!! | 2009-06-17 21:53:06 |
| 1026 | 6673 | Yes, it could be a result of masturbation, but if it doesn't hurt then it's probably not something that's being damaged. As you get older, your vulva will change from use, there's just not way around it. If you have a strong dislike for the way it looks, you could try not masturbating in the same way for a while (or not at all) to see if it changes anything, but as I said, if there's no pain, I wouldn't worry. Yes, you can get pimples, blisters, and cysts on your labia. It's not uncommon at all, particularly the pimples due to the presence of hair follicles, so as long as it's not painful or infected, I wouldn't worry about it. | 2009-06-18 23:31:42 |
| 1026 | 6676 | Every once in a while this happens to me...Iv never really linked it to masturbation...but generaly it goes away after a few days. Sometimes if its really swollen I have to ice it down. Something just irritated it, itdosnt soundserious. | 2009-06-19 18:04:52 |
| 1027 | 6674 | 2009-06-19 02:41:42 | |
| 1028 | 6678 | Some races seem to need and enjoy sex more than us pale skinned citizens of western nations. Is this possible? One would think that all human beings are pretty much the same. Personally, I only know about Asian women. My two chinese wives never failed to& experience orgasm, yet the& chinese have a reputation of being sexually degenerate. Being "good women from good homes", they refused sexual experiments, anal intercourse etc. They initiated sexplay only during courtship. One Vietnamese lady begun to enjoy her profession during a short time visit. Due to financial limitations,& I had to discontinue my scientific studies.;) & A Thai massage girl I fell in love with, (read"Is she Sane?) went absolutely berserk when touched.& I stimulated her a daily& minimum of 5 hrs, how many more hrs she could have enjoyed I will never know. & A Thai teacher, 40 yrs old, wanted to see my hotel room, try my shower and have her bare back scratched. Then she abandoned herself to lust crying, shouting, whimpering. & Another Thai massage girl who moved in with me for one week, jerked her butt off the sheets for& one hour daily (I´m getting lazy). Western women I knew, were much harder to get aroused. They always strived to maintain control, none of them wanted or dared to abandon themselves. Now the question: Is it the upbringing and the womens way of thinking that makes the difference, or is the ability to enjoy and perform sex genetically programmed and differs from race to race? | 2009-06-21 03:00:49 |
| 1029 | 6683 | Ok, I have taken some of your suggestions to heart, and am now developing a new website dedicated to female masturbation techniques, experiences, and histories, called DoubleClickHeaven.com. :cool: Plus, some girls just wouldn't take no for an answer, and kept submitting their experiences, and I would hate to just send them to the bit bucket. :P I literally just patched this together today, and believe me, the dust hasn't settled yet, and may not for some time. :shock: What I have done is, install a program designed to handle fictional stories submitted by the public, and as such, it may have features we don't need, and perhaps isn't the best program for this application, but it is a start, and shareware. Obviously I don't have a full grasp of the software yet. :? Before I invest too much time and effort into customizing this new program, I would like to know if I am heading down the correct path. So if you would be kind enough to have a look at this new website, test things out, and provide some feedback, I would be enormously grateful. :D If you are making a test submission, just say that in the title, and I will know to delete it at a later date. I don't recommend getting too carried away, as your submission could get lost during future changes. I will do my best to prevent this. ;) At this point, does this program even offer the chance of working? Do we need to add subcategories under each language? Or would that make things too complicated? What suggestions might you have for improving things? Here is the link: www.doubleclickheaven.com/html/intro.html Thanks, Brad & | 2009-06-30 22:25:55 |
| 1029 | 6689 | Brad, I think the site looks nice. Great idea! Ladybug | 2009-07-05 10:07:12 |
| 1031 | 6690 | Abstract Introduction.& Although vibrators are commonly recommended by clinicians as adjunct to treatment for female sexual dysfunction, and for sexual enhancement, little is known about their prevalence or correlates of use. Aim.& The aim of this study was to determine the lifetime and recent prevalence of women's vibrator use during masturbation and partnered sex, and the correlates of use related to sociodemographic variables, health behaviors, and sexual function. Methods.& A nationally representative sample of 3,800 women aged 18–60 years were invited to participate in a cross-sectional Internet-based survey; 2,056 (54.1%) participated. Main Outcome Measures.& The prevalence of vibrator use, the relationship between vibrator use and physical and psychological well-being (as assessed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC] Healthy Days measure) and health-promoting behaviors, the relationship between vibrator use and women's scores on the Female Sexual Function Index, and an assessment of the frequency and severity of side effects potentially associated with vibrator use. Results.& The prevalence of women's vibrator use was found to be 52.5% (95% CI 50.3–54.7%). Vibrator users were significantly more likely to have had a gynecologic exam during the past year (P& <& 0.001) and to have performed genital self-examination during the previous month (P& <& 0.001). Vibrator use was significantly related to several aspects of sexual function (i.e., desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm, pain, overall function) with recent vibrator users scoring higher on most sexual function domains, indicating more positive sexual function. Most women (71.5%) reported having never experienced genital symptoms associated with vibrator use. There were no significant associations between vibrator use and participants' scores on the CDC Healthy Days Measures. Conclusions.& Vibrator use among women is common, associated with health-promoting behaviors and positive sexual function, and rarely associated with side effects. Clinicians may find these data useful in responding to patients' sexual issues and recommending vibrator use to improve sexual function. Further research on the relationships between vibrator use and sexual health is warranted. [url=www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/122377190/abstract] www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/122377190/abstract | 2009-07-05 11:35:14 |
| 1034 | 6695 | "I AM satisfied with a wild free Nature," the psychologist-philosopher William James once wrote to a quarrelsome colleague. "You seem to me to cherish and pursue an Italian Garden, where all things are kept in separate compartments, and one must follow straight-ruled walks." I've always admired the way James challenged what he perceived as scientific dogma. In this case, he raised a conundrum we still wrestle with today. Science, with its love of classification, seeks to impose a strict order on the world around us. Yet life on Earth is (forgive the pun) by nature tangled, messy and, in James's words, "everywhere gothic". This Jamesian perspective pervades Gerald Callahan's smart and compassionate book. Callahan's argument arises from the fact that human sexuality spans a slippery biological spectrum. The stereotypical view of two sexes - me Tarzan, you Jane - is not only cartoonish, it limits our understanding and appreciation of our own biology. "We still see a gap where none exists," Callahan writes, "a mirage that shimmers over the hot land of [url=www.newscientist.com/topic/love-sex]sex." He argues instead that there is a range of sexual characteristics that stretches from the testosterone-inflated Tarzan to the womanly "perfection" of a stereotypical Jane and all the variations that lie in between. "In truth, we are all intersex," he concludes. The standard model of human development is built on 46 chromosomes, including two that determine sex: XX for female, XY for male. But, as Callahan points out, not everyone ends up 46XX or 46XY. Variations in sperm or egg, in the mixing of cells from mother and father and in the cell division that follows can all stir the genetic soup into alternative outcomes. The possibilities, Callahan writes, "are as grand and as varietal as the fragrances of flowers: 45X; 47XXX; 48XXXX; 49XXXXX; 47XYY; 47XXY; 48XXXY; 49XXXXY; and 49XXXYY." These variations are familiar to geneticists - the first on the list, for instance, is known as Turner's syndrome - but the general public is still stuck in a black and white, XX/XY world. Much of Callahan's book is spent exploring our understanding of intersexuality, from the physicians of ancient Greece to today's neuroendocrinologists. He also weaves in the stories of people who live in the stretch between the classic male and female endpoints. "Truthfully, I think the most important thing I would like people to understand about me is that I am a person," Kailana, who is hermaphrodite, tells him in a diatribe of anger, grief and courage. Callahan, an associate professor of immunology and the public understanding of science at Colorado State University, is an accomplished and versatile writer. His work has appeared in everything from Nature to the Southern Poetry Review. As a result, the book has an appealingly literary flair, even in the descriptions of complicated biology. Sometimes it verges on purple prose, as when he describes Los Angeles as a place of "limp palm trees curdling in the oily light", but for the most part the language is nicely polished. Do I think the result is smooth enough to change the minds of those who prefer the standard model of sexuality? Not really. Such attitudes are grounded in habit and faith more than scientific logic. I hope, however, that it adds to the forces moving us toward a more generous perspective. We are all better off for appreciating, as James wrote long ago, that real life never does follow that straight-ruled path. [url=www.newscientist.com/article/mg20327151.700-review-sex-in-shades-of-grey.html] www.newscientist.com/article/mg20327151.700-review-sex-in-shades-of-grey.html | 2009-07-06 17:51:10 |
| 1035 | 6697 | During recent digital stimulation I happened upon a raised 'dimple' just 1to 2 cms inside my wife's vagina, to the back. Gentle rubbing and circular movement around this small 'erection' (about 2cms high by& 3 or 4 cms at the base) proved to be very effective in comparison to other more known areas, the dimple becoming very& apparent and erect!.& I have checked some sites for the existence of this spot but have so far not been able to identify it. Any suggestions or experiences with it? Is it possibly an area I once read of described& as 'the anterior x x'? (sorry forgotten the full name) Any news welcome. Thanks. | 2009-07-10 03:19:08 |
| 1035 | 6702 | [user=7593]Brad[/user] wrote: "During recent digital stimulation I happened upon a raised 'dimple' just 1to 2 cms inside my wife's vagina, to the back. Gentle rubbing and circular movement around this small 'erection' (about 2mm high by& 3 or 4 mm at the base) proved to be very effective in comparison to other more known areas, the dimple becoming very& apparent and erect!.& I have checked some sites for the existence of this spot but have so far not been able to identify it. Any suggestions or experiences with it? Is it possibly an area I once read of described& as 'the anterior x x'? (sorry forgotten the full name) Any news welcome. Thanks.""a size correction!" | 2009-07-18 01:02:21 |
| 1035 | 6703 | [user=7593]Brad[/user] wrote: "During recent digital stimulation I happened upon a raised 'dimple' just 1to 2 cms inside my wife's vagina, to the back. Gentle rubbing and circular movement around this small 'erection' (about 2mm high by& 3 or 4 mm at the base) proved to be very effective in comparison to other more known areas, the dimple becoming very& apparent and erect!.& I have checked some sites for the existence of this spot but have so far not been able to identify it. Any suggestions or experiences with it? Is it possibly an area I once read of described& as 'the anterior x x'? (sorry forgotten the full name) Any news welcome. Thanks.""a size correction!" | 2009-07-18 01:02:23 |
| 1035 | 6708 | G Spot ? Cervix ? | 2009-07-22 11:28:36 |
| 1036 | 6698 | Hello ladies in the forum ,can you share your feelings of orgasm.The more detailed the better ,thanks | 2009-07-16 01:11:13 |
| 1037 | 6699 | Hi ,ladies in this forum ,can remeber your first orgasm?How did it happen?How did it feel?Can you share your stories with us?thanks | 2009-07-16 01:19:18 |
| 1038 | 6700 | A visitor to the website told me about this flower, that do to its shape is named after the female genitals. [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clitoria_ternatea]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clitoria_ternatea | 2009-07-16 09:43:08 |
| 1040 | 6707 | Have anyone tried the Sybian?How does it feel? | 2009-07-19 23:03:36 |
| 1041 | 6733 | & does anyone like surgery down there to make it prettier? | 2009-08-05 00:54:00 |
| 1041 | 6736 | No surgery is necessary.& They are all pretty regardless of how they look. | 2009-08-06 08:19:17 |
| 1041 | 6753 | I think that's a bit of an overstatement, don't you. They aren't all pretty, that's just a nice thing to say to make people feel better. | 2009-08-10 21:52:01 |
| 1041 | 6756 | well in each case I think that the after result looks prettier than the before result [url=www.bodysculptor.com/labiaplasty-gallery-01.html] www.bodysculptor.com/labiaplasty-gallery-01.html | 2009-08-10 23:46:34 |
| 1041 | 6757 | I agree because I personally find the small inner/large outer look ideal, but that said, quite a few of them didn't look bad before either and not enough of a reason to justify surgery. Only a handful of them were actually unappealing to me. | 2009-08-11 01:24:38 |
| 1041 | 6760 | I have tosay that I am 100% against this. In fact I think the folks over at [url=www.sexylabia.com/] www.sexylabia.com/& would consider this an outright crime. If you think that larger inner labias arent as "pretty" think again... there are plenty of people who love them. Why cant people embrace diversity? Sorry. It makes me angry. | 2009-08-14 19:48:30 |
| 1041 | 6761 | Tember, Who are you referring to when you asked "If you think that larger inner labias arent as "pretty" think again... there are plenty of people who love them."?& Is that directed at Melissa Malena or dfs3? If it's directed towards dfs3 then all I have to say is that he's allowed to have a preference in what he wants so don't judge him because of it.& At least he's not putting down women with larger labia in order to make those who are smaller feel better about themselves which is what a lot of the women and men over at sexylabia.com does to those who are smaller.& I've read a lot of the letters from people over there and I've come across that type of behavior many times. As for Melissa, there could be a lot more going on as to why she thinks smaller labia are "prettier".& Perhaps the only reason she thinks smaller is prettier is because she feels insecure with how she looks.& Or she could very well be a very confident women who happens to like the smaller look.& We'll never know unless she were to speak up which she doesn't even have to because it's her business, not ours. You said "why can't people embrace diversity?".& I guess that applies to you as well since you seem to have something against women who are naturally born with smaller labia.& Not only that but are you this outraged by other cosmetic procedures like breast implants, nose jobs, etc.?& They are all the same.& People changing a body part that they were naturally born with so it looks the way they want it to look. My advice to Melissa is to try to accept the way you look.& The last thing you want to do is get surgery only to possibly regret it later on in life.& Now if your inner labia is causing you physical pain then I can understand why you would want to go through with this but if it's not then it's best to accept yourself for who you are. | 2009-08-14 20:25:10 |
| 1041 | 6762 | Who are you referring to when you asked "If you think that larger inner labias arent as "pretty" think again... there are plenty of people who love them."?& Is that directed at Melissa Malena or dfs3? I was speaking in general to anyone who reads this thread and chimes in to agree that "yes larger inner labia are ugly". But for the record I think dfs3 stated his opinion in a fine manor, and I dont have anything against personal perferances... but I would defonatly caution someone in how they express their preferances. Im not about to go tell every guy I meet that they should all die their hair black because it is my preferance and if I ever thought a statement I made could be construed in such a way, I would seek to clarify myself. As for Melissa, there could be a lot more going on as to why she thinks smaller labia are "prettier".& Perhaps the only reason she thinks smaller is prettier is because she feels insecure with how she looks. And that is exactly what angers me and why I spoke out. I do not belive people should feel insecure about their labias and Id be very dissapointed with a website like this one in particular, if someone comming here asking about that matter was not told "You look fine the way you are and you dont need surgery" You said "why can't people embrace diversity?".& I guess that applies to you as well since you seem to have something against women who are naturally born with smaller labia.& I never said that. I pointed out a website where people obviously have a preferance for larger inner labia, but I never said that I had anything against women with smaller labia. What I am for is all sizes and shapes being equaly recognised. Not only that but are you this outraged by other cosmetic procedures like breast implants, nose jobs, etc.?& They are all the same.& Yes. I feel cosmetic surgery in general is harmfull to the individual and that people should learn to accept themselves and not what society tells them is "normall" or "more desirable". My advice to Melissa is to try to accept the way you look.& The last thing you want to do is get surgery only to possibly regret it later on in life.& Now if your inner labia is causing you physical pain then I can understand why you would want to go through with this but if it's not then it's best to accept yourself for who you are. This. I 100% agree with this, this is the core of what I was saying. The only reason surgery down there would be a good thing is if you are finding your labia is causing you pain and discomfort. If it is not, then I urge you to explore yourself and accept yourself and realise that you are beautifull already. | 2009-08-14 20:34:49 |
| 1041 | 6763 | [user=13752]Tember[/user] wrote: "I have tosay that I am 100% against this. In fact I think the folks over at [url=www.sexylabia.com/] www.sexylabia.com/Â would consider this an outright crime. If you think that larger inner labias arent as "pretty" think again... there are plenty of people who love them. Why cant people embrace diversity? Sorry. It makes me angry. " There's a difference between embracing diversity and not having an opinion. One can find a particular thing sexier than another without demanding that everyone share their opinion on the matter. Large inner labia are prettier to some people than small, and small are prettier to some people than large. It's no different than a preference between large or small breasts, tall or short stature, wide or narrow hips, blonde or brown hair, etc. | 2009-08-14 20:50:17 |
| 1041 | 6764 | [user=374]dfs3[/user]& I would fully agree with you. What I disagree with is the notion that women should get plastic surgery just to appeal to someones personal preferance. | 2009-08-14 20:51:38 |
| 1041 | 6765 | I'm sorry if you took my reply as offensive in any way.& That was not my intention.& I just did not clearly understand what you were saying in your post. As for everything you just said all I have to say is well put!& I couldn't agree more!:)& I do feel the need to comment on something you said though. "And that is exactly what angers me and why I spoke out. I do not belive people should feel insecure about their labias and Id be very dissapointed with a website like this one in particular, if someone comming here asking about that matter was not told "You look fine the way you are and you dont need surgery"" I feel the exact same way as you but unfortunately, there is always going to be something or someone who makes us feel insecure about ourselves at some point in our life.& It's sad but true.& No one should feel insecure because of the way any body part looks.& As for Melissa not being told that she looks fine the way she is, I agree that someone should have said that but sometimes if someone feels like crap about the way a specific area looks, it doesn't matter how many times someone says they look fine.& If they've convinced themselves that they think there is something wrong with the way they look they often dismiss compliments.& Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.& I've been there, done that!& I use to think that way once upon a time. | 2009-08-14 20:55:44 |
| 1041 | 6797 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "I think that's a bit of an overstatement, don't you. They aren't all pretty, that's just a nice thing to say to make people feel better." i don't consider it an overstatement if we're talking about someone that loves pussies in general.& out of hundreds& in real life, i certainly haven't seen anything close to an ugly one (that was healthy).& close up pictures tend to distort perception of contrast (colors, proportions). that doesn't mean that& all pussies& are all equally pretty (subjective); people will naturally be more attracted to certain ones. i still maintain that no woman should ever feel that her vulva is ugly. Confucius did say, "everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it."& & | 2009-08-26 04:59:28 |
| 1041 | 6798 | [user=130]melissa malena[/user] wrote: "well in each case I think that the after result looks prettier than the before result [url=www.bodysculptor.com/labiaplasty-gallery-01.html] www.bodysculptor.com/labiaplasty-gallery-01.html " in each& case?& i will certainly disagree to such a blanket statement.& i think that most of them look like outright butchery.& as if you took a large-bodied moth or butterfly and just tore its wings off.& lot of those women still have large prominent clitoral hoods/shafts, but without the accompanying lovely labia. the& 10th set (or 9th as the first two sets are the same person, repeated yet again in the 14th set), the one where the woman appears to be wearing a lavender gown in the fourth picture of the set, makes me especially sad, as that (pre-surgery) is probably my favorite set of lips on the whole gallery.& having said that, all of the vulvas appear perfectly normal. anyway, i really don't like this idea that all vulvas should look a particular way, when obviously they are so different.& it just seems so insane that people think they should just mold and mutilate& a perfectly normal and functional and very sensitive body part to some perverted ideal. that doesn't even consider the risk of nerve/sensory damage, scar tissue, possible long term lingering pain/discomfort, emotional/psychological trauma, self-loathing, and the irreversibility of the procedure& should they ever& eventually see the true beauty that they once possessed.& just based on how much those women all cut off (as if they didn't want& any visible genitalia), i'm guessing a lot of them are still not satisfied with the end results.& & did no one read the articles regarding this very subject on the website? [url=www.the-clitoris.com/x/anatomy/labia1.jpg] www.the-clitoris.com/x/anatomy/labia1.jpg & (a documented& illustration showing that 2/3 of women have protuding labia minora; a VERY NORMAL COMMON condition) [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/c_size.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/c_size.htm (the full article)& [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/v_image1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/v_image1.htm (excellent guide showing the tremendous& natural variation of& the vulva) [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/v_image5.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/v_image5.htm (this page of the guide shows so progessively well the normal differences in size of the labia) & | 2009-08-26 05:42:42 |
| 1041 | 6799 | one more post on this subject.& there was a documentary that was mentioned on another thread about the relative increase in labiaplasty.& it can be found here: [url=notorious.softarchive.net/the_perfect_vigina.19384.html] notorious.softarchive.net/the_perfect_vigina.19384.html the& actual download links (the four on the bottom of the page, not the top)have& to& be copied and pasted.& if you're not a rapidshare member, it make take several hours to download the files, with about& twenty minute& breaks between individual downloads. it's fairly graphic, they unfortunately show the actual labiaplasty of one young woman, with very beautiful and sensitive labia (and perfectly normal as well).& again, her labia afterword looked butchered and angry even weeks later. she asked the documentary presenter& if her new labia looked better, and when she didn't get an affirming response, she answered herself that they looked better as if trying to convince herself.& she still had severe pain in her labia, and i don't know if that ever completely resolved. there are other parts of the documentary where the& presenter explores different ways in which women can come to accept and even love their vulvas.& in the end, i feel that the young woman didn't actually want to chop off her bits.& she just wished that they had been accepted and not ridiculed or worse, and& erroneously believed that labiaplasty was the only solution. & | 2009-08-26 06:32:41 |
| 1041 | 6802 | I really dont think that thats what shes saying at all. I dont like breast implants either, I think that small breasts are beautifull and that getting implants is stupid. But that dosnt mean that I think naturally large breasts are ugly either. Whats offensive is societys insistance that only large breasts are attractive. In the same way that blond hair used to be considered the best, most attractive hair colour (not so much nowadays, but its still fairly prevelent), just because I dont belive I should& bleach my dark hair dosnt mean I belive that blond is ugly. As she was using the word& "butchered" to mean, "chopped up, changed, altered", those vulva are, indeed, "butchered" but that dosnt mean that vulva that naturally appear that way should be considered the same thing. The offence here is the idea that all vulva should be made the same. Not towards those types in particular. | 2009-08-27 17:15:15 |
| 1041 | 6806 | [user=16081]Isadora[/user] wrote: "lobo007, You mention that all vulvas are beautiful yet I truly don't think you believe that yourself. You mentioned that the women in the link Melissa posted looked like they were butchered and how they were fine before.& So going by that, are you saying that all women who are small whether it be from surgery or being naturally born that way looked like they've been butchered?& That's what it sounds like to me.& Not only that but you said that no woman should be made to feel like her vulva is ugly yet you're saying that the women in those after photos are basically ugly because they look "butchered". Why don't you just say that you like them larger and that smaller ones are gross instead of trying to say that all is acceptable? " hmmm... where to begin... i'm sure you know so well what i think or like...& or not.& & as i stated before, i have yet to see a vulva in person that has even come close to being offensive, and i have seen hundreds.& thousands more online, but you don't get the real effect unless it's in person.& do you think any are ugly? it's a rhetorical question, you don't have to answer.& considering that the labia minora are directly fused to the clitoral hood, they are usually related in size.& there are many exceptions, but for the majority of& women with large labia, their clitoral hoods/shafts are also quite large, as shown by many of the women in the before and after photos.& i'm not saying that i could see a woman with a large& prominent clitoral hood and& small labia and go aha! you had labiaplasty done! how could you?! nor would i ever make such an accusation, but i would definitely wonder, although this procedure thankfully hasn't reached close to epic proportions yet to have changed the landscape of vulvas. "only" a few thousand every year, which is still a few thousand too many by my book.& that might all change from what i read from this& article. my guess is that a lot of the women from that Chicago clinic probably were hoping for& a look something like this: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img158.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img158.htm i& think& almost none& of them got it, but many of them will probaby end up having some degree of unwanted camel toe now because of the new gap caused by the now missing labia, but remaining clitoral hood.& that's probably the least of their worries, however. tember actually makes a& decent& point about breast implants. now that is an operation that is so obvious to me when it is done (and if i can't tell visually, then i will most certainly tell from feeling them), even though many of the women tell their surgeons that they want the breasts to look "natural".& as if you can just show a surgeon a picture of a nice set of large natural breasts (or a vulva) and say make me like her.& instead i've seen more than a perfectly nice pair of breasts (and vulvas)ruined by the operation. some& acceptance of one's body is in order.& why would i think that smaller labia are gross?& i never said anything to that extent. you might be projecting just a little bit (no pun intended).& & and no, i do not think that naturally small labia are "ruined", anymore than i think that naturally small breasts are ruined.& that& vulva above (img158), is& actually quite nice although i still& would have liked to& see her labia (something you can't get a& real idea of with non-protruding labia, but it's not a bad thing at all), but i'm sure they're still fine.& as for all those after photos, it is what it is.& nothing can be done about them now.& if i were to run into one of these in the future,& and found out about the labiaplasty, i guess it would be like running into someone with a drastic breast reduction (or augmentation).& i would always& wonder (lament?)& about what could have been, but i would move on; it's not that big of a deal. & if i never find out, then i never find out, and she has one of the many vulvas that i don't have any problem with. | 2009-08-28 06:53:39 |
| 1041 | 6808 | "hmmm... where to begin... i'm sure you know so well what i think or like...& or not.& & as i stated before, i have yet to see a vulva in person that has even come close to being offensive, and i have seen hundreds.& thousands more online, but you don't get the real effect unless it's in person.& do you think any are ugly? it's a rhetorical question, you don't have to answer." To be quite honest, I don't think any type of vulva is ugly.& As long as everything works, that's all that matters in my opinion.& The same applies to the penis as well.& I never felt the need to insult someone based on how they look down there because it's something that no one really has any control over.& Let's face it, you can't decide what your body is going to look like before you're born. "considering that the labia minora are directly fused to the clitoral hood, they are usually related in size.& there are many exceptions, but for the majority of& women with large labia, their clitoral hoods/shafts are also quite large, as shown by many of the women in the before and after photos." Actually, the labia minora is not fused to the clitoral hood.& I've looked at my own many times and if anything, it is more attached to the clitoris then the hood especially since I had pulled the clitoral hood back one time so I could actually see the clitoris and there was no pulling on the labia minora whatsoever.& Not only that but some women are born with a thick clitoral hood which causes them to be less sensitive to clitoral stimulation.& There is a surgery to remove some of that skin(not all of it) and I haven't heard of anyone saying that they noticed less sensitivity from their labia as a result of it. Just [url=www.the-clitoris.com/x/anatomy/sobo1.jpg]look at this illustration from this site.& You can see that the labia minora is attached to the clitoris and not the hood. "my guess is that a lot of the women from that Chicago clinic probably were hoping for& a look something like this: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img158.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img158.htm" That's what they may have been aiming for but not everyone is built that way.& I am and I know many other women are a lot like me thanks to some sites a member here directed me to, but it's not possible for all women to achieve that look and that's something that these women should have been aware of.& & Hopefully, the surgeon informed them of this before they made the decision to go under the knife and even if s/he did, would some of those women even take that into consideration or would they still try to convince themselves that they can look like that no matter what? "why would i think that smaller labia are gross?& i never said anything to that extent. you might be projecting just a little bit (no pun intended).& & and no, i do not think that naturally small labia are "ruined", anymore than i think that naturally small breasts are ruined.& that& vulva above (img158), is& actually quite nice although i still& would have liked to& see her labia (something you can't get a& real idea of with non-protruding labia, but it's not a bad thing at all), but i'm sure they're still fine.& as for all those after photos, it is what it is.& nothing can be done about them now.& if i were to run into one of these in the future,& and found out about the labiaplasty, i guess it would be like running into someone with a drastic breast reduction (or augmentation).& i would always& wonder (lament?)& about what could have been, but i would move on; it's not that big of a deal. & if i never find out, then i never find out, and she has one of the many vulvas that i don't have any problem with." LOL!& Sweetheart, I AM one of those women who were naturally born with small labia.& I have the classic cameltoe that you posted(image 158) and until I had done some research on this months ago, I never would've thought that the size of one's labia minora was such a big deal amongst women and men.& In order for my labia minora to become visible, they would have to be very long because my labia majora is very full(I'm thin, not overweight) and my mons pubis is quite pronounced. When it comes to the appearance of the labia minora, what I think is funny is the differences between men who like smaller labia to those who like them bigger.& The men who often prefer smaller ones tend to state their preference and move on yet the men who like larger labia tend to become somewhat irate when it comes to those who like the smaller look.& It's like they feel that all men should like them bigger and if they don't, there's something seriously wrong with them and God forbid someone say that they aren't really much for the larger labia but by all means, say that about those who are smaller.& Sure, you will get someone spouting out childish name calling when it comes to this subject but you just laugh them off and move on because they clearly have proven how immature they can be.& Ugh!& I shutter at the thought of becoming involved with a man who would prefer that I look different from how I am now whether it be my labia or something else.& Who the hell needs that? | 2009-08-28 12:23:08 |
| 1041 | 6825 | they look SO much better after aesthetic surgery. Before when they dangle they look kind of like a guy in a deformed way. It doesn't look tidy or anything. Stuff hanging down there on a woman doesn't look pretty. I think you just like large minora and hood. Melissa | 2009-08-31 01:46:26 |
| 1042 | 6734 | [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKkfIlOErXE] www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKkfIlOErXE | 2009-08-05 11:06:08 |
| 1043 | 6735 | Hi everyone! A few months ago, I was talking with a friend of mine and the topic of labia minora came up.& Both of us are considered as small meaning when we stand, it's not visible unless we spread our legs! lol& Anyway, I can't speak for my friend but as for me, I've always been fine with the way I look(I'm still that way) and I've never thought the appearance of the labia minora was a problem for others until I decided to look it up on the internet and I couldn't believe what I had read! Until that conversation, I just figured that everyone knew that there is always going to be someone who looks different from how you look down below.& I couldn't be more wrong!& I kept coming across sites that had both women and men bash(literally!) women who have smaller labia but God forbid someone do that to the ladies who are bigger!& Am I the only one who is confused by that?& What makes it right for one to put someone down but don't do it back to them?& I thought that labia size was a lot like penis size.& Some are bigger and some are smaller but I'm getting the impression that people like me are hated by others for something the both of us can't help! From all of the sites I came across, this is the only one that informs people that everyone is different.& I saw pictures of women like myself as well as those who are bigger and that really helps because it implies that everyone is normal and not one specific look is considered normal or abnormal. My question to all of you is what's the deal with some women(and men) who feel the need to put down others because they look different south of the border?& I had no idea that having small labia would bring about so much hate in others.& What's the deal with this specific body part? Isadora | 2009-08-05 11:54:56 |
| 1043 | 6737 | I have never seen women being put down for having small inner labia, the opposite is more likely the case. I'm not sure I would believe these statements, as people sometimes post comments meant only to be inflammatory. Since women are having their inner labia reduced in size, smaller would seem to be the social ideal or expectation. I'm not aware of any cases of plastic surgeons making a woman's inner larger. | 2009-08-06 13:48:39 |
| 1043 | 6738 | Hi Brad. If you actually did some research on this, you would see that women with small or no labia minora at all are often targeted by women who are bigger down there and men don't hold back on us either.& I could be wrong but I'm guessing that you probably feel that women who are bigger down there are better then people like me and probably support things like labia stretching but not the surgery to shorten them up.& That's not an attack, just an observation from some of your past posts. I've read everything from how we look like immature little girls to any man who likes small labia is obviously a homosexual with no experience with women.& I remember I had come across a forum where the people were discussing this(I'll have to try to find it) and whenever a man said that although they didn't care how big or small the labia were, they personally preferred them smaller, a woman would come in and literally insult and put him down all because he likes them smaller!& Not only that but there is this one website that focuses only on large labia(I'd post the site but I don't know if I'm allowed to do that here) and there were men on there saying that their girlfriends are smaller down there and that they wished that they were much bigger.& I think physically beating the girlfriend until she's black and blue would've been more kind then to tell everyone that what she has isn't good enough and that he would want her to look different. I guess in this day an age it's suppose to be acceptable to be able to put down others yet become irate and offended when someone gives it back to you.:? | 2009-08-06 14:09:16 |
| 1043 | 6739 | ;]Hi Isadora, isn't true that& the worst enemy we have are other women, who cares about labia, all that we have is ours and only ours and nobody else has the same antomy. My opinion is that those women who try to discredit other women are in need of some self steem, what I have is only mine and I'm proud of it. The only time I thinkk surgery is needed is when the labia is so bigg that is uncomfortable. Luisa& @};- | 2009-08-06 14:37:18 |
| 1043 | 6740 | [user=16081]Isadora[/user] wrote: "Hi Brad. If you actually did some research on this, you would see that women with small or no labia minora at all are often targeted by women who are bigger down there and men don't hold back on us either. I could be wrong but I'm guessing that you probably feel that women who are bigger down there are better then people like me and probably support things like labia stretching but not the surgery to shorten them up. That's not an attack, just an observation from some of your past posts. I've read everything from how we look like immature little girls to any man who likes small labia is obviously a homosexual with no experience with women. I remember I had come across a forum where the people were discussing this(I'll have to try to find it) and whenever a man said that although they didn't care how big or small the labia were, they personally preferred them smaller, a woman would come in and literally insult and put him down all because he likes them smaller! Not only that but there is this one website that focuses only on large labia(I'd post the site but I don't know if I'm allowed to do that here) and there were men on there saying that their girlfriends are smaller down there and that they wished that they were much bigger. I think physically beating the girlfriend until she's black and blue would've been more kind then to tell everyone that what she has isn't good enough and that he would want her to look different. I guess in this day an age it's suppose to be acceptable to be able to put down others yet become irate and offended when someone gives it back to you.:? " You didn't read enough of his posts, because you're way off the mark. And Brad is right. Small inner labia are very much in vogue these days and a lot of women get surgery done. It's called labioplasty and they remove some of the inner labia. There is a lot of criticism in porn for almost exclusively showing women with small inner labia (look at any issue of playboy or penthouse from the last five or six years) and a lot of women have developed self esteem issues about having larger labia minora as a result. There have been numerous news reports covering this in the US and the UK. The behavior you're seeing is very much in the minority, and it's an angry reaction from a group of women who feel they are being disregarded or objectified when men say they like smaller labia. I'm not excusing their behavior, because it's no better or worse for a man to like a kind of vulva than for women claiming they like a certain size or shape of penis, but you are totally misunderstanding the cause of it. | 2009-08-07 01:38:02 |
| 1043 | 6742 | Luisa1, You made some good points there.& I just can't understand why anyone would put someone down, especially people they don't even know, all because of low self-esteem.& Insulting people isn't going to make anyone suddenly feel better about themselves and I just wish people were better then that. As for the surgery, I've heard about that long before now and from all of the stories I've read about women who went through this, they only had it done because their labia was causing them pain when sitting, biking, etc. dsf3, Smaller labia may be "in vogue" but it doesn't mean that women who are born with small labia won't get trashed on which I've seen far too often.& When it comes to the women in porn, women need to remember that there is also a lot of airbrushing done to those women before the magazines get published.& Putting people down because your self-esteem is low because of what you see in a porn magazine is quite low.& There is always going to be something that makes a person feel insecure with the way they look.& Take me for instance.& I'm very short(almost 5'1") which makes me a bit insecure from time to time and I always see people, both men and women, who are taller then me every day but I don't go around insulting these total strangers in a sad attempt to make myself feel better and I'm certainly not going to go out and spend a huge chunk of money on leg lengthening surgery just so I can try to fit in with them.& I think that the women who get labiaplasty just because of their self-esteem from the images they seen in magazines needs therapy and lots of it. It's funny, isn't it?& Today, we try to teach young girls to not believe what you see in magazines because so many of those actors/actresses, models, etc. have their pictures airbrushed and put through Photoshop to the point where a lot of what you see, isn't really them yet women who are well past those teen years can't seem to remember that when they look at a porn magazine. | 2009-08-07 11:26:32 |
| 1043 | 6743 | [user=16081]Isadora[/user] wrote: " dsf3, Smaller labia may be "in vogue" but it doesn't mean that women who are born with small labia won't get trashed on which I've seen far too often. " I didn't say they don't get trashed on, I just said it doesn't happen "often" as you claim. I know it happens to women, especially women with smaller inner labia who shave their pubic hair. Some people dismiss these women for what they assume is wanting to look like a little girl (and it's a far cry from actual trashing). That doesn't change the fact that far more women with large inner labia are mocked for their physical traits than are those with small ones. " When it comes to the women in porn, women need to remember that there is also a lot of airbrushing done to those women before the magazines get published." Easier said than done. It's not an issue of whether or not it's airbrushed, either. It's a matter of women seeing all of these other women that look the same. It doesn't matter if the images are real or doctored, because they reasonably assume that the images wouldn't be doctored if that's not what people wanted to see. It's really no difference than the pressure a lot of women feel about their breasts when they see women with boob jobs. They know they're not real, but it still sends the message that what is different is not desirable.  "Putting people down because your self-esteem is low because of what you see in a porn magazine is quite low. " Of course it's low. That doesn't stop it from happening, though. "There is always going to be something that makes a person feel insecure with the way they look. Take me for instance. I'm very short(almost 5'1") which makes me a bit insecure from time to time and I always see people, both men and women, who are taller then me every day but I don't go around insulting these total strangers in a sad attempt to make myself feel better and I'm certainly not going to go out and spend a huge chunk of money on leg lengthening surgery just so I can try to fit in with them. " Pop culture doesn't place the same kinds of values on height as it does on the appearance of genitals, so the pressures are totally different. " I think that the women who get labiaplasty just because of their self-esteem from the images they seen in magazines needs therapy and lots of it." They do need therapy, and they also need not to be mocked for their insecurity, because that insecurity is frequently imposed by others. "It's funny, isn't it? Today, we try to teach young girls to not believe what you see in magazines because so many of those actors/actresses, models, etc. have their pictures airbrushed and put through Photoshop to the point where a lot of what you see, isn't really them yet women who are well past those teen years can't seem to remember that when they look at a porn magazine. " As I said before, it's not an issue of whether it's real or not, it's a question of value placed on certain kinds of physical traits. It wouldn't matter if a magazine only showed women with a certain kind of natural beauty or airbrushed women who didn't have that certain look to create the illusion that they do. The illusion is just as harmful, perhaps even more harmful. The first case simply says "you're not welcome here", but the second case says "you should hide yourself so others don't have to look at you." | 2009-08-07 21:22:15 |
| 1043 | 6744 | I'd quote the things you said but my computer is not agreeing with me today.& I will say one thing unless my computer doesn't want me to! lol& You said that those women shouldn't get mocked for their insecurities.& Well the same applies for us as well but no one seems to give a damn about how we feel.& Not only that but people are making such a big deal out of labiaplasty but what about labia stretching, which has been going on for how many centuries compared to the surgery which is still quite new?& No one seems to complain about either piercing the labia so heavy weights can be attached to them or just using clamps with weights on the end just so the labia will become bigger yet there is such an uproar over the surgery?& Isn't that sending the message that you should be ashamed if you are smaller?& My answer is yes but for those who like them bigger they will never see it as that. You still keep saying that we don't get put down as often as other women who are bigger.& Well what I'll do is within the next few days, depending on how busy I am, I'll go and look for the sites/forums I found that put us down.& That way, you'll see what I'm talking about.& I'll also try to find that site that actually has pictures of women with small labia with huge red X's through the pictures saying that men who like that have mental disturbances.& The thing that really got to me about that site was it was created by a man. When I find them, I'll either post them here or send them to you through a private message.& Just so you have an idea of what I'm talking about. EDIT:& I did have one site that I bookmarked.& It's about a woman asking if her large labia was normal.& I'll post [url=www.afraidtoask.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000039.html] the link to the site as well as a quote from that forum.& Also, here are the following usernames to look for on that first page.& Read their comments and you'll see that women who are bigger have it much easier.& That and there are far more comments that are praising larger labia then those who are smaller.& After reading all of this "I love large labia!!!!!" it was actually nice to see that there were a very few that didn't as bad as that sounds.& This is one of the many sites I came across praising bigger. Here's the quote.& The man's username is cernunos. "Ireny is right, there are literally dozens of lists and clubs on the net devoted entirely to large inner labia. I have yet to see even one devoted to small ones. As one who finds small lips boring and disappointing, please enjoy your endowment and find a man who finds them a real turn on." The list of usernames to look for.& Read their posts and you'll see how much easier large labies have it. Heron justanotherguy Al texas tourist huge4u_pussy carlos cernunos scottt101 Mr g Tasdevil Mrcocktwat realfire entertainer195 gentleben38 ctcs636 b16(he states that women who are smaller look like they are girls again.& Not good when you are a woman.) Strongcop derekw1062 luckylonglips lance(he states that people shouldn't post uncaring stuff yet it's okay to say that small labia is unattractive, boring and disappointing. :/& Not only that but read luckylonglips' reply below lance's.& She got angry and defensive that someone doesn't like them long yet she is no better then he is by calling him gay even if he is a troll!) That was just the first page of a three page thread.& I'll continue to find more sites to get my point across. EDIT:& [url=www.medhelp.org/posts/Womens-Health/Oh-no--My-labia-minora-is-small/show/922406?personal_page_id=525308&post_id=post_4357776]Here is another site I found where a woman is asking if her small labia is normal.& Note the amount of comments she got compared to the woman in the first link.& If we're not being told that we're a boring disappointment, we are just ignored. EDIT:& Here's yet [url=www.large-labia-productions.com/forum/?sid=f414a783be3aa46ef31b03e963b3158d]another quote from a site that praises nothing but large labia.& Read all of it especially the parts that are in bold.& If that's not a slap in the face, I don't know what is.& I'd rather be called a crude name then to be referred to as not being feminine and not being good enough to be with a man. "Hi Katie Allthough I'm a man and therefore have no large labia myself (and that's good too, because I'd be spending my days playing with them [img] www.large-labia-productions.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] ) I tell you: please be proud of your big lips and don't let anyone ever talk you into "cosmetic correction". It's just a fashion-thing with severe results. Everybody looking at i.g. Playboy pictures thinks that a neat, closed vagina is the ultimate sign of beauty. What most peole don't know is that IF a model has bigger labia, the pictures are photoshopped. Big, meaty labia are for many man (like everybody of us here on this board) an ultimate sign of feminine. They show that you're dealing with a mature and ripe, fullgrown woman. We leave the nice and neat, small vaginas to the 14 year old kids that start discovering sexuality. And Katie, since you're obviously not ashamed of your big lips....how about some pictures? Love, Peter" I could be wrong but any woman that would say something like any man with a small penis is boring and a turnoff would be branded as a cold, heartless bitch so why is it acceptable for men to do this to us?& I always thought there was more to a person then just their genitals.& Not only that but if you actually did take the time to look around the internet, you would see that there is far more sites that praise larger labia then smaller ones.& I have yet to find a site that worships people like me. | 2009-08-08 11:22:46 |
| 1043 | 6745 | [user=16081]Isadora[/user] wrote: " You said that those women shouldn't get mocked for their insecurities. Well the same applies for us as well but no one seems to give a damn about how we feel." I didn't specify who should or should not be mocked, I just said that people shouldn't be mocked for their insecurity. I said it because I detected a bit of derision in your tone regarding the people with poor self esteem. It doesn't matter if you have poor self esteem for your labia being too large, a crooked nose, or hair that won't stay the way you comb it... you shouldn't be mocked for your insecurities.  " Not only that but people are making such a big deal out of labiaplasty but what about labia stretching, which has been going on for how many centuries compared to the surgery which is still quite new? " Because pulling on your labia with your fingers is quite a bit different than spending thousands of dollars on surgery. Ethically speaking it's about the same as the difference between a woman wearing a push up bra and a woman getting implants. "No one seems to complain about either piercing the labia so heavy weights can be attached to them or just using clamps with weights on the end just so the labia will become bigger yet there is such an uproar over the surgery? Isn't that sending the message that you should be ashamed if you are smaller? My answer is yes but for those who like them bigger they will never see it as that." A) A lot of women do this for the sexual enjoyment of the weight pulling their labia, not to compensate for low self esteem. B) This is a practice you normally find in adult women, while the primary concern with labiaplasty is that doctors and counselors are seeing a flood of teenage girls seeking the procedure. The implication is that they are seeking surgery largely due to peer pressure. "You still keep saying that we don't get put down as often as other women who are bigger. Well what I'll do is within the next few days, depending on how busy I am, I'll go and look for the sites/forums I found that put us down. That way, you'll see what I'm talking about. I'll also try to find that site that actually has pictures of women with small labia with huge red X's through the pictures saying that men who like that have mental disturbances. The thing that really got to me about that site was it was created by a man." "A" site or "a" forum does not constitute general agreement among the population of western society. You're inferring the attitude of hundreds of millions of people from a few personal opinions on an internet forum. There's no need to find a link to a site of pictures of red X's over small labia. A single man with an outrageous opinion is just that, a single opinion. I've heard more than one person say that men who are attracted to women with small inner labia (especially when shaved) are latent pedophiles, but it's a niche opinion held by a small minority of the population who are probably transferring their own feelings onto others. For every site you have with a few expressions of dislike for small inner labia, I'll post you two dozen porn sites that show exclusively or almost exclusively small inner labia. "EDIT: I did have one site that I bookmarked. It's about a woman asking if her large labia was normal. I'll post [url=www.afraidtoask.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000039.html] the link to the site as well as a quote from that forum. Also, here are the following usernames to look for on that first page. Read their comments and you'll see that women who are bigger have it much easier. That and there are far more comments that are praising larger labia then those who are smaller. After reading all of this "I love large labia!!!!!" it was actually nice to see that there were a very few that didn't as bad as that sounds. This is one of the many sites I came across praising bigger." Again, you're referencing a single post on a single forum as proof that these opinions are widely held. Furthermore, the site is called "afraidtoask.com", which ought to imply that it is likely to have people with a tendency to lend emotional support to people with various insecurities. "Here's the quote. The man's username is cernunos. "Ireny is right, there are literally dozens of lists and clubs on the net devoted entirely to large inner labia. I have yet to see even one devoted to small ones. As one who finds small lips boring and disappointing, please enjoy your endowment and find a man who finds them a real turn on."" As a long time viewer of pornography, I can assure you that the hundreds of thousands of pornography sites out there serve just fine as sites devoted to small labia. The fact that they are popularly perceived as the ideal means that they don't need special sites devoted to specifically pointing them out since small labia are taken for granted as being normal and desirable and don't really require support communities. Even with that being the case, do a little google search on "camel toe" and you will find numerous sites specifically and explicitly focused on small inner labia. "The list of usernames to look for. Read their posts and you'll see how much easier large labies have it. Heron justanotherguy Al texas tourist huge4u_pussy carlos cernunos scottt101 Mr g Tasdevil Mrcocktwat realfire entertainer195 gentleben38 ctcs636 b16(he states that women who are smaller look like they are girls again. Not good when you are a woman.) Strongcop derekw1062 luckylonglips lance(he states that people shouldn't post uncaring stuff yet it's okay to say that small labia is unattractive, boring and disappointing. :/ Not only that but read luckylonglips' reply below lance's. She got angry and defensive that someone doesn't like them long yet she is no better then he is by calling him gay even if he is a troll!) " I looked up all of those people on the first page. First, as I've mentioned twice already, you're extrapolating the opinions of about a dozen people on an internet forum onto the larger population in general. Secondly, only a single one of those people posted anything remotely negative about small labia, and it was just barely negative. About half of them specified a personal like for large inner labia without directly referencing small inner labia, so there's no way to call that "putting down" women with small inner labia. The rest of the posts were evenly split between people impartially reassuring the poster that labia come in all shapes and sizes and that large inner labia are no more or less normal than small ones, and the other half who actually expressed positive feelings (or even preference) for small inner labia. I think you'd better check your reference again. The only post that I would consider a flat out put-down was one man who flatly called all large labia disgusting and openly expressed disgust for them. " EDIT: [url=www.medhelp.org/posts/Womens-Health/Oh-no--My-labia-minora-is-small/show/922406?personal_page_id=525308&post_id=post_4357776]Here is another site I found where a woman is asking if her small labia is normal. Note the amount of comments she got compared to the woman in the first link. If we're not being told that we're a boring disappointment, we are just ignored." Yet more of you inferring large scale behavior from a single post on a single obscure website. It's probably worth pointing out that the single response to that woman is probably more substantively supportive than the other posts in your first link combined. "EDIT: Here's yet [url=www.large-labia-productions.com/forum/?sid=f414a783be3aa46ef31b03e963b3158d]another quote from a site that praises nothing but large labia. Read all of it especially the parts that are in bold. If that's not a slap in the face, I don't know what is. I'd rather be called a crude name then to be referred to as not being feminine and not being good enough to be with a man. "Hi Katie Allthough I'm a man and therefore have no large labia myself (and that's good too, because I'd be spending my days playing with them [img] www.large-labia-productions.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] ) I tell you: please be proud of your big lips and don't let anyone ever talk you into "cosmetic correction". It's just a fashion-thing with severe results. Everybody looking at i.g. Playboy pictures thinks that a neat, closed vagina is the ultimate sign of beauty. What most peole don't know is that IF a model has bigger labia, the pictures are photoshopped. Big, meaty labia are for many man (like everybody of us here on this board) an ultimate sign of feminine. They show that you're dealing with a mature and ripe, fullgrown woman. We leave the nice and neat, small vaginas to the 14 year old kids that start discovering sexuality. And Katie, since you're obviously not ashamed of your big lips....how about some pictures? Love, Peter"" I just don't know how you could expect anything different from a site explicitly devoted to the adoration of large labia. It's like going to a gay male forum and being upset that they don't like women. "I could be wrong but any woman that would say something like any man with a small penis is boring and a turnoff would be branded as a cold, heartless bitch so why is it acceptable for men to do this to us? " They would be branded as such by men, and often are. It also doesn't stop them from expressing their desire for large penises over small on a very regular basis. I was watching a documentary on BBC where the woman doing the interviews asked two men who were doing repairs on her home what kind of vulvas they found attractive. Both men expressed preferences for women with smaller lips and little or no pubic hair and she was immediately revolted by them and critical of them for being so shallow as to have a preference in vulvas, without once mentioning the fact that women judge men by their penis size on an extremely regular basis. " I always thought there was more to a person then just their genitals. Not only that but if you actually did take the time to look around the internet, you would see that there is far more sites that praise larger labia then smaller ones. I have yet to find a site that worships people like me. " As I said before, a vulva with small labia minora is commonly called a cameltoe, especially when under tight clothing. Do a google search on it and see for yourself. Pick a porn site at random and you will find women with labia like yourself. | 2009-08-08 17:39:10 |
| 1043 | 6746 | "I didn't specify who should or should not be mocked, I just said that people shouldn't be mocked for their insecurity. I said it because I detected a bit of derision in your tone regarding the people with poor self esteem. It doesn't matter if you have poor self esteem for your labia being too large, a crooked nose, or hair that won't stay the way you comb it... you shouldn't be mocked for your insecurities." I AM a person with poor self-esteem and I've been that way most of my life.& The only difference between people like me and the people you are talking about is that I know there is always going to be someone or something that is going to make people feel insecure about themselves.& I am slowing becoming a lot less insecure about myself because I'm coming to the realization that I cannot please everyone and that oftentimes, the reason people feel down about themselves is because of how they think and not how they look.& Take the labia for instance.& I love the way mine look and if porn magazines were to suddenly change the women in the pictures to women with very large labia, I certainly wouldn't try to make mine bigger because I suddenly feel insecure about it.& If that were the case, I would've had tons of surgery by now but I haven't. "Because pulling on your labia with your fingers is quite a bit different than spending thousands of dollars on surgery. Ethically speaking it's about the same as the difference between a woman wearing a push up bra and a woman getting implants. A) A lot of women do this for the sexual enjoyment of the weight pulling their labia, not to compensate for low self esteem. B) This is a practice you normally find in adult women, while the primary concern with labiaplasty is that doctors and counselors are seeing a flood of teenage girls seeking the procedure. The implication is that they are seeking surgery largely due to peer pressure." If you would've just said a push up bra that would've been fine but I hate to break this to you but you need to have surgery for breast implants and just like with any other type of surgery, there are always risks.& Bleeding, infections, pain, decreased sensitivity, hardening of the skin and the list goes on applies for all surgeries and not just labiaplasty alone.& The same applies for complications as well.& That's why people are always told that when it comes to any type of surgery, it's best to shop around until you find a reputable doctor that is very qualified in what s/he does and speaking to past patients of theirs is always a good way to see if this is a surgeon that you will feel comfortable going to.& The only difference is that horror stories from surgeries like breast implants are not often heard of(even though there are a lot of them out there) and people tend to hear more good stories yet with labiaplasty, it's the opposite.& All you hear of is complications from the surgery and not the good outcomes.& I've heard of many women who had no problems with the surgery and wished they had gotten it done sooner but stories like that are always kept under wraps.& A few years ago, I had to get surgery done(not cosmetic) and for a good six months after the surgery, a large area around the incision was completely numb.& This area was on my abdomen and I could stick needles into that area or pour scalding hot water on it and I wouldn't have felt a thing.& My doctor said that there is a good possibility that it might stay like that but it did eventually go away.& Complications like that can happen no matter what type of surgery you get.& There's [url=www.altermd.com/Penis%20and%20Scrotal%20Surgery/scrotum_reduction.htm] even a surgery for men to get their scrotums reduced yet there is no uproar over that. Even when just stretching with your fingers(which by the way, most women use weights not to get off on it but to stretch them more quickly.& Not only that but many women are not doing this for themselves but for the men in their lives which clearly shows that they are self-conscious about it if they are doing this for other people.), you can still get infections from it because if the skin tears just slightly and it's not big enough to notice, an infection can set in.& If women can get infections from simple things like waxing or shaving their legs when there is no injuries present when they do this then it is very possible to get the same thing from stretching the labia. As for the teenage girls wanting to get this surgery well first of all, they can't without the parent's permission and second, I know there are a lot of doctors who will turn away a teenager even if the parent's approve of the surgery because of their age.& They would most likely recommend that the teen see a psychologist to deal with their self-esteem instead of trying to get a quick fix through surgery as well as waiting until they are an adult because attitudes towards the body can quicky change as you grow up.& Not only that but when it comes to peer pressure, it's everywhere and it doesn't just affect teens.& Adults also live with this as well.& Just because someone feels pressured by another person or society as a whole to look a certain way it doesn't mean that they have to rush out and get surgery and once they get the surgery or surgeries that they've always wanted, they think they are suddenly going to feel amazing about themselves.& There is no quick fix and shows like The Swan is good proof of that.& In order for a surgery to make you feel comfortable with the way you look, you have to like who you are as a person and if you don't then surgery is going to do jack squat for you because it will still make you feel insecure because you don't like who you are. ""A" site or "a" forum does not constitute general agreement among the population of western society. You're inferring the attitude of hundreds of millions of people from a few personal opinions on an internet forum. There's no need to find a link to a site of pictures of red X's over small labia. A single man with an outrageous opinion is just that, a single opinion. I've heard more than one person say that men who are attracted to women with small inner labia (especially when shaved) are latent pedophiles, but it's a niche opinion held by a small minority of the population who are probably transferring their own feelings onto others. For every site you have with a few expressions of dislike for small inner labia, I'll post you two dozen porn sites that show exclusively or almost exclusively small inner labia." A site or forum may not constitute a general agreement amongst the general population but neither does porn magazines.& Just because men buy these magazines it doesn't mean they are just buying it for the women's crotches.& For some, it's breasts that get them off or just the looks of a naked woman in general and that's why they buy them.& That and like I had mentioned before, many of these women are airbrushed so you can't really believe what you see in those magazines. As for the dozen porn sites that show little to no labia again, you really can't go by that because it is very easy to photoshop a larger labia out of a picture then it is to add it in.& So what you are looking at in those sites with women with small labia may actually be women who have large labia but they were edited before being posted.& I've used Photoshop many times before and you'd be amazed with how you can change the appearance of a person with that program.& You think you're looking at someone with blonde hair when they actually have brown hair that was changed with this program.& I've also found that it's more difficult to edit an amateur photo then one taken professionally because amateur photos are sometimes a bit blurry or the lighting is off.& When a photo is done in a more professional manner, it's much easier to edit. "As a long time viewer of pornography, I can assure you that the hundreds of thousands of pornography sites out there serve just fine as sites devoted to small labia. The fact that they are popularly perceived as the ideal means that they don't need special sites devoted to specifically pointing them out since small labia are taken for granted as being normal and desirable and don't really require support communities. Even with that being the case, do a little google search on "camel toe" and you will find numerous sites specifically and explicitly focused on small inner labia." Camel toes is something that confuses me because I don't exactly know what it is.& I tried to look up camel toe and I got a lot of mixed messages.& Some say that it's just when the underwear, swimsuit, etc. ride up the crotch on women who are smaller down there and then I find things like that it applies to women with both small and large labia.& I've heard of more people(both men and women alike) who were really grossed out by it then turned on. "I looked up all of those people on the first page. First, as I've mentioned twice already, you're extrapolating the opinions of about a dozen people on an internet forum onto the larger population in general. Secondly, only a single one of those people posted anything remotely negative about small labia, and it was just barely negative. About half of them specified a personal like for large inner labia without directly referencing small inner labia, so there's no way to call that "putting down" women with small inner labia. The rest of the posts were evenly split between people impartially reassuring the poster that labia come in all shapes and sizes and that large inner labia are no more or less normal than small ones, and the other half who actually expressed positive feelings (or even preference) for small inner labia. I think you'd better check your reference again. The only post that I would consider a flat out put-down was one man who flatly called all large labia disgusting and openly expressed disgust for them." How can you not think of being thought of as an unattractive disappointment as a put down?& The only difference between that and being called disgusting is that the unattractive disappointment was just a more mature way to word it.& Back when I was doing some research on this, I had found both men and women who called small labia disgusting or gross as well.& I just couldn't find the sites in the short amount of time I was on the computer.& Also, if you are referring to the person I called a troll then I wouldn't take what he says to heart because apparently, he's like that no matter what the topic is about.& He just likes to get a rise out of people from what I've read. "Yet more of you inferring large scale behavior from a single post on a single obscure website. It's probably worth pointing out that the single response to that woman is probably more substantively supportive than the other posts in your first link combined." How so?& While I will agree that the second poster did make some good points there, it also helps to hear others come out and say that they like that specific look they way the other people did in the other links and I think that not only is that what that young lady wanted but needed to hear as well.& Sometimes when someone comes right out and says things like "You look great today!" it does a world of wonders on how you are feeling at the time. "I just don't know how you could expect anything different from a site explicitly devoted to the adoration of large labia. It's like going to a gay male forum and being upset that they don't like women." Liking larger labia is fine and I have no problems with that but I do have a problem with people who need to put down those who are smaller in order to make those other women feel good about themselves and vice versa and that's exactly what this man is doing.& What he said would be classified as more hurtful then childish name calling like being called disgusting.& This man is implying that women who are small are not "real" women and that we don't deserve a man because of our size.& That would be like someone like a woman with no labia saying that men who like large labia clearly have some homosexual tendencies because that huge labia looks and hangs like a scrotum of a 200 year old man.& It wouldn't be right to say that and it's not right for him to say what he said because both are hurtful.& The only difference is that there would be more of an outrage by what I had made up by both men and women then with what he said.& If I was in a womens locker room and I noticed a woman with a very noticable hanging labia, I could never put her down for it because it's something she can't help so I just don't understand why others do the same.& If it's because of jealousy then that's just stupid because making comments like that won't make you or anyone else feel better about themselves. "They would be branded as such by men, and often are. It also doesn't stop them from expressing their desire for large penises over small on a very regular basis. I was watching a documentary on BBC where the woman doing the interviews asked two men who were doing repairs on her home what kind of vulvas they found attractive. Both men expressed preferences for women with smaller lips and little or no pubic hair and she was immediately revolted by them and critical of them for being so shallow as to have a preference in vulvas, without once mentioning the fact that women judge men by their penis size on an extremely regular basis." I know that there are a lot of women who prefer larger penises but there are also women who openly say that they don't care what the size is as long as he knows how to please a woman in general.& I've heard of more women who say that they don't care what the size is more often the men saying that about a woman's labia. As for this show you watched, I shook my head when you said that she thought they were shallow for having a preference because I'm wondering if the reason she acted that way was because she herself is not small.& Now if it was the other way around and they said they like them large then that probably would've been completely different.& It normally is.& I do think though that she should've mentioned something about how a lot of women do the same to men because she's basically implying that only men do that when that is far from true. I have a lot of male friends and I had asked them about what they prefer and quite a few did say that the do like larger labia and I never got offensive but I think it was also because all of them said that while they may like the appearance of smaller or larger, what it all boils down to is how you feel about that person.& One of my guy friends is with a woman who is smaller down south and he was one of the ones who said that he likes bigger.& When I asked why he stayed with his girlfriend if she doesn't have what he likes below he told me that her personality is far more important then the way a specific body part looks.& He said that he finds the way she looks down there very attractive and a lot of that has to do with how she is as a person overall.& I wish more people were like that.& Personally for me, as long as the man knows what he's doing then all is good.& There is more to sex and getting a person off then just the gential area. | 2009-08-09 13:22:16 |
| 1043 | 6747 | [user=16081]Isadora[/user] wrote: " I AM a person with poor self-esteem and I've been that way most of my life. The only difference between people like me and the people you are talking about is that I know there is always going to be someone or something that is going to make people feel insecure about themselves. I am slowing becoming a lot less insecure about myself because I'm coming to the realization that I cannot please everyone and that oftentimes, the reason people feel down about themselves is because of how they think and not how they look. Take the labia for instance. I love the way mine look and if porn magazines were to suddenly change the women in the pictures to women with very large labia, I certainly wouldn't try to make mine bigger because I suddenly feel insecure about it. If that were the case, I would've had tons of surgery by now but I haven't." Well it's good that you're learning that, and since you are learning that you should understand that it's a slow process to come to that realization. I used to have poor self esteem as well and also learned that same lesson many years ago. People who haven't learned it yet shouldn't be mocked for not knowing it because it's not an easy lesson to learn. " If you would've just said a push up bra that would've been fine but I hate to break this to you but you need to have surgery for breast implants and just like with any other type of surgery, there are always risks. Bleeding, infections, pain, decreased sensitivity, hardening of the skin and the list goes on applies for all surgeries and not just labiaplasty alone." You're not breaking anything to me. That was the point I was making, that there is a big difference between a push up bra and implants. A bra may be something a woman uses to make herself feel better about how her breasts look, but it's just a bra. A woman who goes under the knife is taking much more drastic measures. There is a great risk of infection, nerve damage, and botched surgery that destroys any self esteem the woman had. Every so often women die from complications of the surgery (there was a case a few months back in the news). Nobody complains when women wear push up bras, but there are people who have concerns over the growing number of young women getting implants. This is the difference between hanging weights and labiaplasty. The weights are about as harmless as a push up bra. The labiaplasty is like a breast implant, and it carries all the same risks. " The only difference is that horror stories from surgeries like breast implants are not often heard of(even though there are a lot of them out there) and people tend to hear more good stories yet with labiaplasty, it's the opposite." You hear horror stories about cosmetic surgery all the time. Look at Tara Reid for an example. There are stories on the news about women who get incorrect procedures done by careless doctors etc.  "All you hear of is complications from the surgery and not the good outcomes. I've heard of many women who had no problems with the surgery and wished they had gotten it done sooner but stories like that are always kept under wraps." Mostly what I hear of are about the growing number of young women getting the procedure done, not any extremely horrible stories. The problem is the way people increasingly jump to surgery as a solution for something that shouldn't even be considered a problem.  " There's [url=www.altermd.com/Penis%20and%20Scrotal%20Surgery/scrotum_reduction.htm] even a surgery for men to get their scrotums reduced yet there is no uproar over that." There's no uproar over it because there aren't a lot of young men (or men of any age, really) rushing to doctors to have surgery on their scrotums. "Even when just stretching with your fingers(which by the way, most women use weights not to get off on it but to stretch them more quickly. Not only that but many women are not doing this for themselves but for the men in their lives which clearly shows that they are self-conscious about it if they are doing this for other people.), you can still get infections from it because if the skin tears just slightly and it's not big enough to notice, an infection can set in. If women can get infections from simple things like waxing or shaving their legs when there is no injuries present when they do this then it is very possible to get the same thing from stretching the labia." You can get urinary tract infections too... I'm not talking about these little temporary infections, I'm talking about serious complications that result from surgery, not a little scratch. "As for the teenage girls wanting to get this surgery well first of all, they can't without the parent's permission and second, I know there are a lot of doctors who will turn away a teenager even if the parent's approve of the surgery because of their age. " There are many parents who let their children have this surgery. And while an 18 year old is legally an adult, an 18 year old is really still a child in most ways, but they don't require parental approval to get cosmetic surgery. Most 18 year olds are still very naive... why are they rushing out to get surgery? You're right that some surgeons will turn away people, but not all of them will, and the ones that don't are probably not the cream of the crop, and these are the doctors who cause more of the complications in surgery. "They would most likely recommend that the teen see a psychologist to deal with their self-esteem instead of trying to get a quick fix through surgery as well as waiting until they are an adult because attitudes towards the body can quicky change as you grow up." The good, ethical doctors would do this and it's the right thing to do, but do you think a desperate young woman who is ashamed of her body is going to listen to a rational argument? No, they'll just go to other surgeons until they find one that will do the procedure. "Not only that but when it comes to peer pressure, it's everywhere and it doesn't just affect teens. Adults also live with this as well. Just because someone feels pressured by another person or society as a whole to look a certain way it doesn't mean that they have to rush out and get surgery and once they get the surgery or surgeries that they've always wanted, they think they are suddenly going to feel amazing about themselves. There is no quick fix and shows like The Swan is good proof of that. In order for a surgery to make you feel comfortable with the way you look, you have to like who you are as a person and if you don't then surgery is going to do jack squat for you because it will still make you feel insecure because you don't like who you are." You're not incorrect, but this has nothing to do with the uproar over labiaplasty among young women. "A site or forum may not constitute a general agreement amongst the general population but neither does porn magazines." Porn is a multi-billion dollar mainstream industry. When a physical characteristic is present among the majority of that industry's product consumed by millions upon millions of people, you can infer a preference for that characteristic. A few years ago you could infer that most people liked or desired SUVs from the fact that every car company was putting out new SUVs and selling millions of them. You could also look online and find a forum for people who were station wagon enthusiasts, but you would not assume that just because most people on that site liked station wagons that the rest of the world preferred them as well. The site is just a miniscule cross section of the population directly catering to a specific interest. "Just because men buy these magazines it doesn't mean they are just buying it for the women's crotches." As a man I can assure you that if men did not like the crotches of the women in these magazines, they would not buy them. Yes, it's not the only reason they buy them, but it's damn high up the list of reasons.  "For some, it's breasts that get them off or just the looks of a naked woman in general and that's why they buy them. That and like I had mentioned before, many of these women are airbrushed so you can't really believe what you see in those magazines." You keep focusing on whether or not the images are real, and you're missing the fact that the magazines would not airbrush the labia of the models to look the same if they didn't have a reason to think that most of their customers prefer the labia to look that way. Photoshopping is expensive and time consuming. They wouldn't just randomly decide to airbrush the vulvas on a whim. The magazines are fantasy. It doesn't matter if the images are real because they're not bought to be a historical record. "As for the dozen porn sites that show little to no labia again, you really can't go by that because it is very easy to photoshop a larger labia out of a picture then it is to add it in. So what you are looking at in those sites with women with small labia may actually be women who have large labia but they were edited before being posted. I've used Photoshop many times before and you'd be amazed with how you can change the appearance of a person with that program. You think you're looking at someone with blonde hair when they actually have brown hair that was changed with this program. I've also found that it's more difficult to edit an amateur photo then one taken professionally because amateur photos are sometimes a bit blurry or the lighting is off. When a photo is done in a more professional manner, it's much easier to edit." I wouldn't be surprised. I have photoshop myself and I've seen all the tricks it can do. I've seen photoshop turn overweight women with plain faces into slender supermodels. You're missing the glaringly obvious question: if most men preferred large inner labia instead of small ones, why would so many of these magazines photoshop the large inner labia out of the picture? Wouldn't they be photoshopping large inner labia onto the women without them? If you're in the business of making money from your photographs, you don't take an image with mass appeal and modify it into something with niche appeal, you do it the other way around. "Camel toes is something that confuses me because I don't exactly know what it is. I tried to look up camel toe and I got a lot of mixed messages. Some say that it's just when the underwear, swimsuit, etc. ride up the crotch on women who are smaller down there and then I find things like that it applies to women with both small and large labia. I've heard of more people(both men and women alike) who were really grossed out by it then turned on." Yes, cameltoe is often involving clothing, but it's not an effect easily accomplished with large inner labia. A lot of women are embarrassed to have it because it shows the outline of their vulva in public, and a lot of pop culture coverage jokes about it because it's not very fashion conscious, but a lot of men love it because of what it implies beneath. " How can you not think of being thought of as an unattractive disappointment as a put down? The only difference between that and being called disgusting is that the unattractive disappointment was just a more mature way to word it. Back when I was doing some research on this, I had found both men and women who called small labia disgusting or gross as well. I just couldn't find the sites in the short amount of time I was on the computer. Also, if you are referring to the person I called a troll then I wouldn't take what he says to heart because apparently, he's like that no matter what the topic is about. He just likes to get a rise out of people from what I've read." It can only be considered a put down if you expect every person in the world to find you attractive. If you were blonde and I said I was attracted to brunettes, would you consider that a put down? Would you consider it a put down if I said I preferred women taller than me rather than shorter? Or if you were very tanned and I said I preferred women who were more pale? Or is it just a different preference? All people like different things. To me it's only a put down if a person directly expresses negative feelings for a trait, not if they express positive feelings for a different trait. If I tell you that I prefer to listen to rock music, do you assume that I hate everything that isn't rock music? If I say my favorite color is green and your favorite color is red, do you assume that I hate the color red? " How so? While I will agree that the second poster did make some good points there, it also helps to hear others come out and say that they like that specific look they way the other people did in the other links and I think that not only is that what that young lady wanted but needed to hear as well. Sometimes when someone comes right out and says things like "You look great today!" it does a world of wonders on how you are feeling at the time." How so what? How was the single response more constructive than the dozens at the other site? If you had made a post saying that you were insecure about your small labia, and a bunch of guys said "man, I love tiny pussies! can I see a picture?!" and at another place a single person responded by telling you that everyone is made differently, and that there are people out there who like all kinds of labia, and that if you ever met someone who criticized you just because of your labia that they are too shallow to waste your time worrying about, and that someone who loved you wouldn't judge you over something so superficial, which one would make you feel better? Maybe you're different, but I would prefer the second response. "Liking larger labia is fine and I have no problems with that but I do have a problem with people who need to put down those who are smaller in order to make those other women feel good about themselves and vice versa and that's exactly what this man is doing. What he said would be classified as more hurtful then childish name calling like being called disgusting. This man is implying that women who are small are not "real" women and that we don't deserve a man because of our size. That would be like someone like a woman with no labia saying that men who like large labia clearly have some homosexual tendencies because that huge labia looks and hangs like a scrotum of a 200 year old man. It wouldn't be right to say that and it's not right for him to say what he said because both are hurtful. The only difference is that there would be more of an outrage by what I had made up by both men and women then with what he said. If I was in a womens locker room and I noticed a woman with a very noticable hanging labia, I could never put her down for it because it's something she can't help so I just don't understand why others do the same. If it's because of jealousy then that's just stupid because making comments like that won't make you or anyone else feel better about themselves." Again, I don't disagree with you. That one quote was very rude and insensitive, but it's one quote from one person on one inconsequential internet site. I fail to see how this one man's opinion suggests that women in general with smaller labia have a harder time in general than women with larger labia. "I know that there are a lot of women who prefer larger penises but there are also women who openly say that they don't care what the size is as long as he knows how to please a woman in general. I've heard of more women who say that they don't care what the size is more often the men saying that about a woman's labia." There are a lot of men like that too, but that doesn't mean we don't have preferences (and it doesn't mean that the women who don't care don't have an ideal size, it just means it's not a sticking point). I find certain kinds of vulvas more attractive than others, but it's not a make-or-break criteria that I would dump a woman over (not counting hygiene, of course). "As for this show you watched, I shook my head when you said that she th ught they were shallow for having a preference because I'm wondering if the reason she acted that way was because she herself is not small. Now if it was the other way around and they said they like them large then that probably would've been completely different. It normally is. I do think though that she should've mentioned something about how a lot of women do the same to men because she's basically implying that only men do that when that is far from true." She wasn't small. The whole point of the show was about how so many young women in the UK are seeking labiaplasty instead of learning to love their labia how they were made by nature. |
2009-08-09 17:28:07 |
| 1043 | 6749 | I'm sorry if I don't quote everything you said in this post.& I'm back and forth from this site and a ton of others because one of my pet's is sick and I'm hoping that I can get him better again. "Mostly what I hear of are about the growing number of young women getting the procedure done, not any extremely horrible stories. The problem is the way people increasingly jump to surgery as a solution for something that shouldn't even be considered a problem." I agree that many people jump to surgery as a solution.& The thing is is that the surgery itself, especially when it comes to labiaplasty, is made out to be some horrendous thing when it's not.& It's just like any other cosmetic procedure and it's available to those who are interested in it.& No one is being forced to get this surgery and you definitely can't blame the media for it because if that were the case, why is obesity on the rise and not anorexia?& Thin women are always portrayed as the "in look" through out the media yet more and more people are dealing with weight problems.& If people think that surgery will suddenly make all of their problems go away then let them go under the knife.& Hopefully they will eventually realize that it's not a quick fix.& If these people have that kind of money to spend on these procedures then let them spend it however they want. "You hear horror stories about cosmetic surgery all the time. Look at Tara Reid for an example. There are stories on the news about women who get incorrect procedures done by careless doctors etc." I know who she is but I never heard anything about her but then again, I don't follow the lives of celebrites the way some people do.& What happened to her? "There's no uproar over it because there aren't a lot of young men (or men of any age, really) rushing to doctors to have surgery on their scrotums." I guess that would apply to men in general when it comes to cosmetic surgery.& I find that men are a lot more logical and smarter then women when it comes to body issues.& Sure they deal with insecurites(who doesn't?) but they seem to realize that running out to get surgery isn't going to solve everything.& They're also smarter when it comes to how they deal with it.& Women can learn a lot from that but then again, that's just my opinion. "You can get urinary tract infections too... I'm not talking about these little temporary infections, I'm talking about serious complications that result from surgery, not a little scratch." I was also thinking of staph infections too since you can get those from any type of injury.& I remember hearing about a woman on the TV show, The Doctors who had gotten a rare, but deadly staph infection that went to her bloodstream all from a bikini wax.& Scary. "There are many parents who let their children have this surgery. And while an 18 year old is legally an adult, an 18 year old is really still a child in most ways, but they don't require parental approval to get cosmetic surgery. Most 18 year olds are still very naive... why are they rushing out to get surgery? You're right that some surgeons will turn away people, but not all of them will, and the ones that don't are probably not the cream of the crop, and these are the doctors who cause more of the complications in surgery." Unfortuately, there are parents that would allow their children to undergo the knife for cosmetic reasons but again, you can't point the finger at the surgeon, the surgery or the media because all they do is try(note try) to give the message that people must look a certain way, act a certain way, etc. but what it all boils down to is the person listening to those messages.& If they've convinced themselves that they must look like the people in the movies and magazines then that's their conscious decision.& No one can make a person feel this way except for themselves.& The people who are quick to rush out and do this are obviously extremely sensitive and impressionable.& If a person told them that the in thing was to walk around naked from the waist down while clucking like a chicken with feces smeared all over your face, they would rush out and do this!& I think that too many people are quick to make people who feel that surgery is the only answer out to be innocent victims when they are not.& Victims are people who are raped, murdered, etc., not people who can't think for themselves. Last night I saw a McDonalds commercial.& The food in that clip looked very good and I was hungry at the time but I didn't go out and get McDonalds.& Just because that commercial was very tempting, I said no to it.& The images in the media are the same thing.& They try to lure you into believing you have to look a certain way but all they can do is try.& It's up to the person watching to say "Screw that!& I don't need someone telling me how I should or should not look!".& Before you say it's not that easy, it is.& People just don't want to try and for some people, as bad as this sounds, they lack a spine.& They just can't seem to get the word "NO" out of their mouth.& They need to work on that. "The good, ethical doctors would do this and it's the right thing to do, but do you think a desperate young woman who is ashamed of her body is going to listen to a rational argument? No, they'll just go to other surgeons until they find one that will do the procedure." I agree but if a person is willing to go to the extremes like that then that is their choice.& As I said above, after the surgery is all said and done, maybe they will realize that their hasty decision didn't solve anything.& All I know is that if I knew someone who convinced themselves that surgery is the only answer and they go to hell and back to get a surgeon to perform the surgery and they either had a complication(God forbid) or they still felt like crap about themselves all I would say is don't come bitching and moaning to me about it.& Their minds are not clouded when they make these decisions and deep down, they know better then to do this but that never sinks in until all is said and done.& Once you've listened to the tune, you have to pay the piper! "You're not incorrect, but this has nothing to do with the uproar over labiaplasty among young women." Like I said before, the surgery is there for anyone who wants it and has the money to dish out.& No one is forcing people to do this.& & These young women have convinced themselves that all will be perfect when the surgery is complete and no matter what anyone says, they will continue to live in that delusion until they eventually come to their senses.& If that's the choice they've made, as silly as it may be, then they have the right to make it. "There are a lot of men like that too, but that doesn't mean we don't have preferences (and it doesn't mean that the women who don't care don't have an ideal size, it just means it's not a sticking point). I find certain kinds of vulvas more attractive than others, but it's not a make-or-break criteria that I would dump a woman over (not counting hygiene, of course)." I guess that's why I've always felt like a black sheep throughout my life.& I have preferences when it comes to myself but not others.& Black, red, blonde, brown hair, small or large penis, average build or muscular, short or tall, I really don't care.& I just can't imagine being with someone and think "Gee, I really like this but they don't have that.& I guess I just have to make do with what they have".& I wouldn't want someone to think I wasn't good enough so I can't fathom doing that to someone else.& That's just me though. "She wasn't small. The whole point of the show was about how so many young women in the UK are seeking labiaplasty instead of learning to love their labia how they were made by nature." That says a lot.& If the tables were turned and the men said they loved larger labia, they would no longer be shallow bastards and she probably would've built them a temple in their honor.& I don't know if this would be the right word for it but that woman seemed too biased.& They should've gotten someone who is larger but comfortable with themselves.& People who have accepted the way they look are more willing to see both sides of the story.& That show should have asked women the same questions when it comes to a man's genitalia.& That way, it wouldn't have made men out to be the only people who do that. As for the surgery, again, read what I said above. :)& I think my fingers are about to fall off! | 2009-08-10 12:43:49 |
| 1043 | 6751 | [user=16081]Isadora[/user] wrote: " I agree that many people jump to surgery as a solution. The thing is is that the surgery itself, especially when it comes to labiaplasty, is made out to be some horrendous thing when it's not. It's just like any other cosmetic procedure and it's available to those who are interested in it. No one is being forced to get this surgery and you definitely can't blame the media for it because if that were the case, why is obesity on the rise and not anorexia?" I'm not blaming media for it. If anything, it's the fault of the educational system for failing to sufficiently teach people about the degrees of difference to be found in the human body. The representation of a certain kind of labia in the media is the effect, not the cause, and I'm pointing to the media as evidence that our culture likes a certain look more than others.  " Thin women are always portrayed as the "in look" through out the media yet more and more people are dealing with weight problems. If people think that surgery will suddenly make all of their problems go away then let them go under the knife. Hopefully they will eventually realize that it's not a quick fix. If these people have that kind of money to spend on these procedures then let them spend it however they want." Well there's really no way to stop them getting what they want anyway, though I'd like to see mandatory prior counseling at the very least. "I know who she is but I never heard anything about her but then again, I don't follow the lives of celebrites the way some people do. What happened to her?" She got a boob job and some stomach work from a hack physician and came out looking like a melted wax sculpture. Her body basically looks like the body of a woman twice her age and in bad shape, and that was after she went back in for reconstructive surgery. "I guess that would apply to men in general when it comes to cosmetic surgery. I find that men are a lot more logical and smarter then women when it comes to body issues. Sure they deal with insecurites(who doesn't?) but they seem to realize that running out to get surgery isn't going to solve everything. They're also smarter when it comes to how they deal with it. Women can learn a lot from that but then again, that's just my opinion." There are more men who seek penile implants, to be fair. Scrotal issues don't often enter the male consciousness so much as the perception of inadequate penis size. I suspect a good number of men opt out of penis enlargement surgery only due to fears over losing functionality of the penis as a side effect of the surgery. There are millions upon millions of men who do take supplements that they believe will enlarge their penises, even despite proof that none of them work and that they are all scams. "I was also thinking of staph infections too since you can get those from any type of injury. I remember hearing about a woman on the TV show, The Doctors who had gotten a rare, but deadly staph infection that went to her bloodstream all from a bikini wax. Scary." You can get staph from any kind of injury, even a scratch on the arm, and a scratch on the labia from a clip is no more risky than a scratch on the arm, which is why I am setting aside the deep incisions involved in labiaplasty from the surface scratch of a clip on a labia. That scratch doesn't produce a unique threat of infection. "Unfortuately, there are parents that would allow their children to undergo the knife for cosmetic reasons but again, you can't point the finger at the surgeon, the surgery or the media because all they do is try(note try) to give the message that people must look a certain way, act a certain way, etc. but what it all boils down to is the person listening to those messages. " You can definitely blame surgeons for performing surgical procedures on people who don't need them or shouldn't have them. There's a reason that doctors are governed by ethics boards. " If they've convinced themselves that they must look like the people in the movies and magazines then that's their conscious decision. No one can make a person feel this way except for themselves. The people who are quick to rush out and do this are obviously extremely sensitive and impressionable. If a person told them that the in thing was to walk around naked from the waist down while clucking like a chicken with feces smeared all over your face, they would rush out and do this! " And what if you were talking about a person that didn't want to walk around naked clucking like a chicken, but everywhere they went and looked they saw people doing this same thing and implying that there is something wrong/inferior/unnatural/unacceptable in people who did otherwise? Would you criticize the person who didn't do this for feeling like there was something wrong with them? " I think that too many people are quick to make people who feel that surgery is the only answer out to be innocent victims when they are not. Victims are people who are raped, murdered, etc., not people who can't think for themselves." You don't have to be involved in a violent crime to be a victim. A victim only need be caused harm (which can be psychological as well) by an external agency. "Last night I saw a McDonalds commercial. The food in that clip looked very good and I was hungry at the time but I didn't go out and get McDonalds. Just because that commercial was very tempting, I said no to it. The images in the media are the same thing. They try to lure you into believing you have to look a certain way but all they can do is try. It's up to the person watching to say "Screw that! I don't need someone telling me how I should or should not look!". Before you say it's not that easy, it is. People just don't want to try and for some people, as bad as this sounds, they lack a spine. They just can't seem to get the word "NO" out of their mouth. They need to work on that." But it's not that easy if you've never done it before. You said yourself that you've always had low self esteem and that it was a slow process of learning how not to judge yourself in relation to others. I also learned that lesson, as I said before, and it's not something you just up and decide to start thinking. People are taught to think certain things while they're young and the older they get, the harder it is to change those ways of thinking. "I agree but if a person is willing to go to the extremes like that then that is their choice. As I said above, after the surgery is all said and done, maybe they will realize that their hasty decision didn't solve anything. All I know is that if I knew someone who convinced themselves that surgery is the only answer and they go to hell and back to get a surgeon to perform the surgery and they either had a complication(God forbid) or they still felt like crap about themselves all I would say is don't come bitching and moaning to me about it. Their minds are not clouded when they make these decisions and deep down, they know better then to do this but that never sinks in until all is said and done. Once you've listened to the tune, you have to pay the piper!" There's not much sympathy here. Of course this entire thing is becoming largely hypothetical and moving away from the original topic, but why wouldn't you hope that people learn before resorting to surgery to learn to think about themselves in a different way? " Like I said before, the surgery is there for anyone who wants it and has the money to dish out. No one is forcing people to do this.  These young women have convinced themselves that all will be perfect when the surgery is complete and no matter what anyone says, they will continue to live in that delusion until they eventually come to their senses. If that's the choice they've made, as silly as it may be, then they have the right to make it." I think you just answered your own questions about why there is so much concern over labiplasty and not stretching. " I guess that's why I've always felt like a black sheep throughout my life. I have preferences when it comes to myself but not others. Black, red, blonde, brown hair, small or large penis, average build or muscular, short or tall, I really don't care. I just can't imagine being with someone and think "Gee, I really like this but they don't have that. I guess I just have to make do with what they have". I wouldn't want someone to think I wasn't good enough so I can't fathom doing that to someone else. That's just me though." Sure, you don't care, but are you saying that if someone asked you to describe your dream man that you wouldn't be able to describe a physical appearance? I'm just saying that a lot of people don't care in a judgmental way, but they would still have ideal preferences. If they were shown a thousand random pictures, certain traits would reveal themselves. " That says a lot. If the tables were turned and the men said they loved larger labia, they would no longer be shallow bastards and she probably would've built them a temple in their honor. I don't know if this would be the right word for it but that woman seemed too biased. They should've gotten someone who is larger but comfortable with themselves. People who have accepted the way they look are more willing to see both sides of the story. That show should have asked women the same questions when it comes to a man's genitalia. That way, it wouldn't have made men out to be the only people who do that." Of course she was biased, and she wasn't being particularly fair to the men either, but the bias is at least partly understandable, because the show was about the trend in the last several years of women with large inner labia seeking surgery to fit a norm that doesn't exist. I can see how a woman with large inner labia would be threatened by a trend like that. As I've been saying all along, some messages are stronger than others. The number of labiaplasties performed has grown by about 30% in the last couple years. The fact that nearly all labiaplasties are performed to achieve a larger-to-smaller change, and are happening at such a massive rate sends a very powerful message to women with large labia. It's this rapid growth year by year that I'm trying to point out to you. You're convinced that small labia brings out hate in others, and I'm explaining that it brings out hate only in a very small group of others, and only because they feel threatened by what I've described above. The hate is not a rational or mature response, but there is still a reason for it. | 2009-08-10 21:47:36 |
| 1043 | 6767 | "I'm not blaming media for it. If anything, it's the fault of the educational system for failing to sufficiently teach people about the degrees of difference to be found in the human body. The representation of a certain kind of labia in the media is the effect, not the cause, and I'm pointing to the media as evidence that our culture likes a certain look more than others." I agree and disagree with that.& I could understand educating people on the human body especially if we lived back in the 1950's but nowadays where everyone has access and uses the internet for various purposes including educational ones, many people can take it upon themselves to do research on this topic as well as anything else they are curious about.& If they don't want to look it up on the internet, they can always ask a doctor or nurse.& As for the media giving evidence on what our culture likes, again, I don't know if I can agree with you there because many different races and religions live in North America and a lot of those people could care less about things like breast size and whatnot.& Hell, the media tries to portray the thin look as what this culture prefers yet more and more I see men with very large women as well as just larger people in general so you really can't use the media as evidence because the media does eventually change what is considered as "ideal". "Well there's really no way to stop them getting what they want anyway, though I'd like to see mandatory prior counseling at the very least." I fully agree with this. "You can definitely blame surgeons for performing surgical procedures on people who don't need them or shouldn't have them. There's a reason that doctors are governed by ethics boards." Blaming them for performing a surgery on someone who shouldn't have it like teens who are underaged or someone who doesn't meet certain qualifications I can understand but who is a surgeon to say that someone doesn't need it?& That would apply to all cosmetic procedures then.& If someone who is very confident with themselves wants to make their nostrils smaller or get a breast lift because it's something they want, why should they be told they can't get that done?& The difference between confident people who get these procedures done and those who have very low self-esteem who are easily persuaded to look a particular way is that the confident people are doing this for one person and one person only and that's themselves whereas the latter are only doing it because someone said that's what the norm is. "And what if you were talking about a person that didn't want to walk around naked clucking like a chicken, but everywhere they went and looked they saw people doing this same thing and implying that there is something wrong/inferior/unnatural/unacceptable in people who did otherwise? Would you criticize the person who didn't do this for feeling like there was something wrong with them?" Perhaps it's just the way you worded this or mild dehydration from the summer heat but what are you getting at?& Are you asking if I would criticize someone who chose not to do something that others are doing and they felt there was something wrong with them because they didn't go along with the crowd?& If that's the case then no I wouldn't criticize them because although they may feel like there is something possibly wrong with them, they are also not jumping right into what everyone else is doing just because that's what they've seen out and about.& If that were the case, I, along with every other redhead out there, would have to dye my hair an extremely common color like blonde or brown because there are far more blondes and brunettes then redheads.(We make up 2% of the world's population so yes, we are rare.)& I've even had people try to make me feel as though I'm a freak because of my hair color but that isn't going to make me dye it. "You don't have to be involved in a violent crime to be a victim. A victim only need be caused harm (which can be psychological as well) by an external agency." The only victimizers here are their own minds because if things were to go back to simpler times where media and cosmetic surgeries don't exist, there would still be people who wished they looked the way someone else looked.& "He has such broad shoulders.& Why can't my shoulders look like that?" or "She has such a great hourglass figure, I wish I naturally looked like that.".& The only difference between "harm" like wanting to look a certain way compared to bullying, murder, etc. is that wanting to look a certain way is only harmful if a person chooses to make it as such. "But it's not that easy if you've never done it before. You said yourself that you've always had low self esteem and that it was a slow process of learning how not to judge yourself in relation to others. I also learned that lesson, as I said before, and it's not something you just up and decide to start thinking. People are taught to think certain things while they're young and the older they get, the harder it is to change those ways of thinking." I don't think it's a matter of being more difficult to change your views as you get older.& I think a lot of people stick with a certain way of thinking because that's what they are use to because they can either A) use it to their advantage like drama queens who crave attention for instance, B) they simply don't want to change or C) they are afraid of changing because it's something they are so use to.& It's not that they can't or that it's harder because anyone, young or old can change how they think about something.& It all depends on if they truly want to change those patterns.& Look at people who smoke cigarettes.& Some say that they want to quit and go about doing so yet others keep saying "I'm going to quit! I'm going to quit!" yet they make no attempts whatsoever. "There's not much sympathy here. Of course this entire thing is becoming largely hypothetical and moving away from the original topic, but why wouldn't you hope that people learn before resorting to surgery to learn to think about themselves in a different way? " I do hope that they come to their senses before resorting to surgery but some people can be very stubborn and insist that surgery is the only option and they end up convincing themselves that they won't feel better until they have that surgery.& It's like they don't want to hear others out when they say that surgery isn't going to fix the way they feel and that if they go through with it, they may very well regret it later on down the road. "Sure, you don't care, but are you saying that if someone asked you to describe your dream man that you wouldn't be able to describe a physical appearance? I'm just saying that a lot of people don't care in a judgmental way, but they would still have ideal preferences. If they were shown a thousand random pictures, certain traits would reveal themselves." For one, you can't compare a "dream person" or "perfect person" to someone who is real because that dream man/woman or perfect man/woman isn't real.& I'll use myself in this next example.& I love video games and I've played many different game genres and I've seen my fair share of attractive characters.& While yes, they are not real, I did find certain features attractive but each character had something different from the next.& I'll use Kingdom Hearts series as an example.& I found three of the antagonists attractive.& One was very slender, had fair skin and had spikey red hair that went past his shoulders.& The second had pink hair that rested on his shoulders, fair skin and a medium build and the third man, had very long, silver hair that went down to the middle of his back, tanned skin and a very broad build.& Each one was very different yet I found all of them attractive.& That's why I really don't have a preference because although I may like muscle tone on one man it doesn't mean I'm going to like it on the next.& It depends on the man. I remember hearing an interview about a country singer who wrote a song about what his "dream girl" would look like and the person he is now married to is far from what that dream girl looked like.& He was always a blonde hair, blue eyes type of guy and that's the type of woman he always dated.& The woman he is now married to is a brunette with green eyes and he finds her and those features very attractive despite the fact that he always preferred blondes with blue eyes. "Of course she was biased, and she wasn't being particularly fair to the men either, but the bias is at least partly understandable, because the show was about the trend in the last several years of women with large inner labia seeking surgery to fit a norm that doesn't exist. I can see how a woman with large inner labia would be threatened by a trend like that. As I've been saying all along, some messages are stronger than others. The number of labiaplasties performed has grown by about 30% in the last couple years. The fact that nearly all labiaplasties are performed to achieve a larger-to-smaller change, and are happening at such a massive rate sends a very powerful message to women with large labia. It's this rapid growth year by year that I'm trying to point out to you. You're convinced that small labia brings out hate in others, and I'm explaining that it brings out hate only in a very small group of others, and only because they feel threatened by what I've described above. The hate is not a rational or mature response, but there is still a reason for it." Do you know how many cosmetic surgeries got a surplus in patients throughout the years especially when the surgery is still relatively new or people are just finding out about it?& Look at breast enhancements.& When it first came out, women were flooding to get them done and it kept increasing as the years went by but it did die down and this will to.& At least women who are larger have a surgical option if they want to get them smaller.& There are a lot of women who have very little to no labia minora who would love to be bigger down there and there is nothing out there for them to become bigger.& Even stretching isn't an option for those women. As for those messages being strong, while yes, they are strong to some degree, it all depends on the person and how easily they are going to cave under peer pressure.& Some people have absolutely no spine whatsoever and will do anything and everything someone else, whether it be another person or the media tells them to do yet others can have someone try to ram down their throats that this type of look is the only way to look and they couldn't care one wit about it.& Their motto is "This is me and this is how I look!& If you don't like it then fuck off!"& There are many people out there who do have low self-esteem yet don't succumb to what the media says is in or out.& I think the reason a lot of people jump to things like this is because of something greater going on in their life.& Perhaps some of those people never felt truly accepted by those they love and they feel that if do what others say they should do, they will finally feel that acceptance that they never had in their life.& Or perhaps it's control.& If people feel they have little to no control in their life, they try to find something that they can have control over and surgery is a way to get that control because only they can decide whether or not they are going to go through with this and it gives them that control they lack.& There is always going to be something out there that women are going to flock to get done whether it be labiaplasty or something else that may not even be a surgical procedure.& Today labiaplasty, tomorrow God only knows. | 2009-08-15 20:27:53 |
| 1043 | 6768 | [user=16081]Isadora[/user] wrote: "I agree and disagree with that. I could understand educating people on the human body especially if we lived back in the 1950's but nowadays where everyone has access and uses the internet for various purposes including educational ones, many people can take it upon themselves to do research on this topic as well as anything else they are curious about. If they don't want to look it up on the internet, they can always ask a doctor or nurse." Here's an interesting statistic: for every non porn site on the internet (regardless of purpose or topic) there are 5 porn sites. Also, one can almost never site an internet address in an academic setting, so I'd suggest that while one could educate oneself on the internet about a given topic, it's certainly not an easy task, especially if you're looking for authoritative, documented information. A person could ask a doctor, but a lot of people don't have access to doctors, and not all doctors are well rounded in this matter. Also, a person may simply be too indoctrinated to avoid discussing sexuality with others (a big problem in this country) to be able to bring up the subject with a doctor. " As for the media giving evidence on what our culture likes, again, I don't know if I can agree with you there because many different races and religions live in North America and a lot of those people could care less about things like breast size and whatnot. Hell, the media tries to portray the thin look as what this culture prefers yet more and more I see men with very large women as well as just larger people in general so you really can't use the media as evidence because the media does eventually change what is considered as "ideal"." An ideal is, by definition, not reality. It makes no difference whether we are, in fact, an obese nation when it comes to what we want. We all also want to be millionaires that live in luxury, but that's also not reflective of the status quo. These are desires that exist in the public mind. "Blaming them for performing a surgery on someone who shouldn't have it like teens who are underaged or someone who doesn't meet certain qualifications I can understand but who is a surgeon to say that someone doesn't need it? That would apply to all cosmetic procedures then. If someone who is very confident with themselves wants to make their nostrils smaller or get a breast lift because it's something they want, why should they be told they can't get that done? The difference between confident people who get these procedures done and those who have very low self-esteem who are easily persuaded to look a particular way is that the confident people are doing this for one person and one person only and that's themselves whereas the latter are only doing it because someone said that's what the norm is." Surgeons are supposed to be trained to identify people who shouldn't be going under the knife. A person looking to get a crooked nose straightened isn't going to raise red flags to a surgeon because it's a minor issue. If the person has had two nose jobs, implants, liposuction, botox, etc... the surgeon is supposed to be able to recognize that there is something driving a desire for the procedure that may not be healthy and refer the person to counseling rather than performing surgery and accepting money. The surgeon is supposed to have the best interest of the patient in mind, not his own bank account. "Perhaps it's just the way you worded this or mild dehydration from the summer heat but what are you getting at? Are you asking if I would criticize someone who chose not to do something that others are doing and they felt there was something wrong with them because they didn't go along with the crowd?" I'm asking why you would criticize a person for doing something when everyone else around them is (or seems to be) doing something they're uncomfortable with. You made your example citing one person copying another, I'm making my example citing one person following what they perceive to be as everyone else. This isn't a case of a high school kid wanting to dress a certain way to fit in with a certain popular group, it's a perception that everyone else is different from them and that they're physically malformed. A lot of people think they're actually deformed when they seek these surgeries. The reason for this is because they're not given the opportunity to know any different. I would hope that someone would be able to point out to them the reality of their situation before hand, but if didn't happen I would not look down on them as a person "without a spine". If, for example, a girl knew that all vulvas were different and was only seeking the procedure to impress a particular boy she had a crush on, then I would agree with you that she's weak willed, but the reality is that a lot of women who get labiaplasty don't know that they're normal.  "If that's the case then no I wouldn't criticize them because although they may feel like there is something possibly wrong with them, they are also not jumping right into what everyone else is doing just because that's what they've seen out and about. If that were the case, I, along with every other redhead out there, would have to dye my hair an extremely common color like blonde or brown because there are far more blondes and brunettes then redheads.(We make up 2% of the world's population so yes, we are rare.) I've even had people try to make me feel as though I'm a freak because of my hair color but that isn't going to make me dye it." Some people may have criticized your hair, but you've seen redheads before and you know that it's normal. You also know that other people don't all have the same hair. Some are blonde, some are brunette, some have black hair. Some are straight, some are curly, some long, some short. There's a huge variety of hair that is readily evident to anyone who isn't blind. However, what if you were born to parents with straight black hair and every single other person you met had straight black hair? You might reasonably assume that there was something wrong with you, even if there actually wasn't. In a situation like this, a reasonable person would not be critical of you for wanting straight black hair. The difference here, though, is that anyone can see another person's hair without problem. A woman cannot easily the labia of other women to know what they all look like, so it's very difficult to battle a false perception when you have no reality readily available to contradict it. On a side note, where are you from? I've heard of this redhead mockery taking place in some parts of the world, often in the UK. This just baffles me. I think red hair can be beautiful and unique, and it's certainly more interesting than the bottled blonde that so many women choose to conform to. "The only victimizers here are their own minds because if things were to go back to simpler times where media and cosmetic surgeries don't exist, there would still be people who wished they looked the way someone else looked. "He has such broad shoulders. Why can't my shoulders look like that?" or "She has such a great hourglass figure, I wish I naturally looked like that.". The only difference between "harm" like wanting to look a certain way compared to bullying, murder, etc. is that wanting to look a certain way is only harmful if a person chooses to make it as such." You've got a skewed sense of what the word victim means. The harm caused to a victim doesn't have to be intentional or malicious. This is why someone can be a victim in an accident. There's also a difference between wishing you looked different and feeling that there is something defective in yourself. When people are made to feel humiliated about the way they look, that person is a victim. "I don't think it's a matter of being more difficult to change your views as you get older. I think a lot of people stick with a certain way of thinking because that's what they are use to because they can either A) use it to their advantage like drama queens who crave attention for instance, B) they simply don't want to change or C) they are afraid of changing because it's something they are so use to. It's not that they can't or that it's harder because anyone, young or old can change how they think about something. It all depends on if they truly want to change those patterns. Look at people who smoke cigarettes. Some say that they want to quit and go about doing so yet others keep saying "I'm going to quit! I'm going to quit!" yet they make no attempts whatsoever." It certainly is harder to change the longer you wait. You're comparing people who want to change with people who don't. Try comparing, with your smoking example, a person who has smoked 2 packs a day for 20 years against a person who has smoked a pack a week for one year. Both sincerely want to stop smoking... the person with the 20 year habit will have a much harder time of it, because they have to overcome 20 years worth of habit and repetition and impulse (as well as 20 years of the influence of nicotine on their system). Like it or not, our brains adapt to their surroundings over time, and the more comfortable they are in a long time surrounding the harder it is to adapt to change. "For one, you can't compare a "dream person" or "perfect person" to someone who is real because that dream man/woman or perfect man/woman isn't real." Of course they're not real. The point is that the dream person represents the sum of all of the traits you respond most positively to. That doesn't mean they're the only traits you respond to. "I'll use myself in this next example. I love video games and I've played many different game genres and I've seen my fair share of attractive characters. While yes, they are not real, I did find certain features attractive but each character had something different from the next. I'll use Kingdom Hearts series as an example. I found three of the antagonists attractive. One was very slender, had fair skin and had spikey red hair that went past his shoulders. The second had pink hair that rested on his shoulders, fair skin and a medium build and the third man, had very long, silver hair that went down to the middle of his back, tanned skin and a very broad build. Each one was very different yet I found all of them attractive. That's why I really don't have a preference because although I may like muscle tone on one man it doesn't mean I'm going to like it on the next. It depends on the man." I love video games as well, so I totally understand how you can find the character attractive. They're not real, but they're caricatures of traits you find attractive. Aside from that, I've been attracted to all kinds of women (real and pretend). Tall and busty, short and skinny, tanned, pale, nerdy, glamorous, and the list goes on. That said, I still have preferences. I like brown hair more than blonde, but that doesn't mean I don't find any blonde women attractive, I just find a lot more brunettes attractive than blondes. A blonde can easily have a bunch of traits that work together uniquely for her to make her attractive, but I'd still say I prefer brunettes. That doesn't mean I think that same blonde would be more attractive as a brunette, either. The features all have to work in harmony. I just see more examples of that harmonious mix in brunettes. | 2009-08-16 18:55:57 |
| 1043 | 6826 | well I prefer the small and dainty minora which are hidden and which you need to explore....I think t=for everyone who likes the ones which hang down there there are those who don't like it sticking out melissa | 2009-08-31 01:50:38 |
| 1044 | 6750 | What ever happened to "the full-bush" look of yesteryear?& Seems like 97% of the submitted videos of amateurs and 163% of the pros have gone the route of shaving their pubic hair off.& Is it more comfortable? just curious. skoo | 2009-08-10 21:46:48 |
| 1044 | 6752 | I reckon people these days groom their pubic hair for the same reasons they groom their head hair. When you cut and comb your hair, you look better than if you let your hair go wild and never comb it. | 2009-08-10 21:49:37 |
| 1044 | 6773 | Some thinks it makes them 'feel' more like a women... and it's true. The frequency on the shaving depends on the women. Eg, she may only shave when she is going out on a date, or she may shave every day. It is not a fashion statement, but a personal choice..... or should be.. | 2009-08-18 07:03:54 |
| 1044 | 6774 | Haha - I treat both my drapes and carpet the same. I cut them really short once every few months and let them grow wild, then cut them when I get too hot. Just lazy, I guess... Although a $15 haircut every few months is much easier on the wallet than the alternative - which means I've got more money for other things :). The NZ Hallensteins slogan springs to mind :) | 2009-08-18 08:07:40 |
| 1045 | 6759 | I posted this to my online journal, but the entry is privatised so I thought I would cross post it here as well for discussion. & ~~~~~~~~~ & Iv been pondering how to go about broaching this subject for a while now. Orgasm is something I find very confusing. On the surface the question "What is an orgasm?" may seem like a no-brainer, but if you stop and think about it its actually a lot more complicated. If I try to discribe what an orgasm feels like, I find it difficult. Its an intence feeling right in the clitoris that spreads warmth from that point...sometimes it is so intence that it almost hurts. But to explain why it feels good I have no idea. Iv read about women experiancing different types of orgasms. Iv also read about "full body" orgasms. I have never experianced an orgasm in my whole body...the sensation begins and ends in the clit, but it does send my whole body into spasms and convulsions and tingles heat waves..and some people have told me that this is what is in fact meant by "full body". Iv read about women reaching orgasm from nipple stimulation. What I'v never found an answer to is this; where is this orgasm felt, then? Does it mean that what is felt as an orgasm takes place in the nipples, or does it mean that the nipples trigger the clit to orgasm? I very much wish that I could reach this, whichever it is. That brings me also to the argument and debate over deep penetration and g-spot vs clitoral orgasm. One article Iv read states very firmly that women only orgasm through the clitoris and that removing focus from the clitoris is aform of female sexual repression that has been practised for centuries. But other books I have read firmly state that the clitoris should be secondary to inner vaginal stimulation, and that true orgasm comes from inside,not the clit. (Of course neither of these sources make allowances for differences in women and individuals but thats a different complaint). Obviously I cant buy that the clitoris is not responsible for my orgasms, as that is the exact place where I feel them, but what I want to know is that if I orgasmed from say, g-spot stimulation would I feel it inside or still in the clit? Iv only ever been able to reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Iv also never had sex (which some of you may be suprised and/or shocked to hear, given how I project and how sexual I am). So from the information I have read, I am intensly curious weather what they mean is that there are new "types" or orgasm to "unlock" (ie, orgasm that feels likea different thing and takes place in a different location) or is what they mean is that there are different ways to trigger the same sensation. I have often read about women who can trigger orgasm through mental processes. No stimulation needed, they can just orgasm whenever they want. This seems to me like an amazing superpower, and I want it. Id call myself Orgasm-Lady and have horrible catch phrases like "I got your call, I came as fast as I could!" I have read very often of this phenomenon most associated with Domination/submission relationships, where the submissive individual is able to orgasm solely on her Dominants command. This would be amazing I think. But I dont know how to do it. When I want to orgasm, tension builds up and builds up during stimulation untill the point where I tighten all the muscles in that area and finally I topple over the edge into a climax that often peters into pain from intensity towards the end. But if Im not at that point where the sensation has built enough, I cant trigger the orgasm. So I dont know how to orgasm if theres no stimulation. This brings me to these two books I have been reading about tantric sex and orgasm. Tantric Orgasm for Women and The Multi Orgasmic Woman. Now tantric stuff gets into a whole realm of New-Age Spiritulism that I dont really subscribe to. They claim that tantric will provide a spiritually enlightment that reglar sexuality does not. To sum up, what most people experiance as orgasm they call a "peak orgasm" which expels spiritual sexual energy outwards, but tantric is meant to provide a "valley orgasm" which disperses it inwards to promote enlightenment and well being. Theres a whole bunch of stuff about chii and energy currents and magnetic fields that I dont really buy. But. Iv been trying some of the practical exersises and meditations in an effort to get myself into what they call an "orgasmic state". The meditative exersise involves laying down so ones spine is perfectly straight and relaxing, doing deep breathing and closing ones eyes, and focusing soley on sensation and what the body is feeling, eradicating all concious thought from ones mind. I find it helpfull to put myself into this state of un-thought and stillness to do a visualization exersize that Iv used for years to help me sleep at night, and that is to imagine myself slowly turning to stone starting from the toes up. As each area of my body turns to stone that part of me relaxes and releases all tension, and eventually I cant move and I fall into that peacefull state in between awake and asleep where you feel like your floating. So I do that to put myself into this state and then I focus as the book wants, on my genitals and all slight sensations. I have been able to induce in this way strong feelings of sexual pleasure, but they come in gental waves instead of harsh sensations. Its a feeling that I more feel in my mind even then in my physical body, more liquid and soft. I dont belive that I have orgasmed from this experiance but it is hard to really tell and I at least got close once. Waves of heat and pleasurable sensation wash over me like water would, its a very curious experiance. Perhapes as the book discribes, this is what is meant by an "orgasmic state" rather then the actually peak point of "an orgasm". Now, what the books say, is that this is a more spiritually and sexually fullfilling way of approaching orgasm, but I just cant see how this practise would work with BDSM at all. When Im with a man, I dont want to obtain that lulled dreamlike relaxed state. I want to be scared out of my wits. I like being scared. The books teach that building up to a peak orgasm is less desireable, but that a blissfull orgasmic state should be goal. That tightening the muscles and building up that frantic "need" for orgasm is bad for my health? But that franticness, that feeling of tension is what makes me helpless andleaves me vulnerable. Tantric teaches a sustained equality between partners and heavens knows I dont want to be equal in sex. To sum up: Im curious about orgasm "types" and what different orgasms are like. I want to be able to orgasm on command. Tantric meditative exersises seem to give me some sort of results but it seems impractical for the kind of sexuality I am pursuing. I obviously havent drawn any conclusions, and maybe a lot of this will make more sence once Iv actually had intercourse (or maybe not, plenty of studies report that a majority of women in our society cant actually orgasm from vaginal stimulation) but in any case Id love to hear the thoughts and comments of those more experianced then I. I realise that Iv mostly only talked about female orgasm here, but be free to comment about male orgasm as well. Actually one thing that I found interesting, one of the two books did claim that ejaculation is not the same thing as orgasm for a man,and that men can in fact orgasm without ejaculation. Id love to hear your thoughts. | 2009-08-14 16:16:46 |
| 1045 | 6766 | [user=13752]Tember[/user] wrote: "I I have never experianced an orgasm in my whole body...the sensation begins and ends in the clit, but it does send my whole body into spasms and convulsions and tingles heat waves..and some people have told me that this is what is in fact meant by "full body". " This is really the source of your confusion. The sensation actually begins and ends in your brain. Pleasure is not real, it's just an abstract perception that may or may not be triggered by nerve stimulation. Your clit doesn't know if something feels bad or good, it just sends the signals to your brain and it goes from there. People with enough patience and will power can essentially rewire their brains to process various stimuli in a way that induces pleasure sensations. "This brings me to these two books I have been reading about tantric sex and orgasm. Tantric Orgasm for Women and The Multi Orgasmic Woman. Now tantric stuff gets into a whole realm of New-Age Spiritulism that I dont really subscribe to. They claim that tantric will provide a spiritually enlightment that reglar sexuality does not. To sum up, what most people experiance as orgasm they call a "peak orgasm" which expels spiritual sexual energy outwards, but tantric is meant to provide a "valley orgasm" which disperses it inwards to promote enlightenment and well being. Theres a whole bunch of stuff about chii and energy currents and magnetic fields that I dont really buy. But. Iv been trying some of the practical exersises and meditations in an effort to get myself into what they call an "orgasmic state"." Physical techniques aren't going to help you as a skeptic. Try reading what the book says about the spiritual part and trying to decipher what it implies about the state of mind it is putting these people into. The point is to achieve the mental state, not the way in which you choose to get there. "The meditative exersise involves laying down so ones spine is perfectly straight and relaxing, doing deep breathing and closing ones eyes, and focusing soley on sensation and what the body is feeling, eradicating all concious thought from ones mind. I find it helpfull to put myself into this state of un-thought and stillness to do a visualization exersize that Iv used for years to help me sleep at night, and that is to imagine myself slowly turning to stone starting from the toes up. As each area of my body turns to stone that part of me relaxes and releases all tension, and eventually I cant move and I fall into that peacefull state in between awake and asleep where you feel like your floating. So I do that to put myself into this state and then I focus as the book wants, on my genitals and all slight sensations. I have been able to induce in this way strong feelings of sexual pleasure, but they come in gental waves instead of harsh sensations. Its a feeling that I more feel in my mind even then in my physical body, more liquid and soft. I dont belive that I have orgasmed from this experiance but it is hard to really tell and I at least got close once. Waves of heat and pleasurable sensation wash over me like water would, its a very curious experiance. Perhapes as the book discribes, this is what is meant by an "orgasmic state" rather then the actually peak point of "an orgasm". " Sounds like you've had some success. Look less for the sensation as described by another person and more to intensifying your own sensations. Pleasure is an entirely subjective experience and cannot be truly described in unambiguous and objective terms. Try to encourage the waves to have higher intensity, meaning a higher and lower, more powerful swell, rather than trying to transform it into a harsh or jarring sensation. "Now, what the books say, is that this is a more spiritually and sexually fullfilling way of approaching orgasm, but I just cant see how this practise would work with BDSM at all. When Im with a man, I dont want to obtain that lulled dreamlike relaxed state. I want to be scared out of my wits. I like being scared. The books teach that building up to a peak orgasm is less desireable, but that a blissfull orgasmic state should be goal. That tightening the muscles and building up that frantic "need" for orgasm is bad for my health? But that franticness, that feeling of tension is what makes me helpless andleaves me vulnerable. Tantric teaches a sustained equality between partners and heavens knows I dont want to be equal in sex. " The two situations are entirely different and must be approached as such. You really can't practice alone and expect to meet someone and have a perfect experience right out of the gates. You have to crawl before you can walk, and it will take time and experience before you learn how to wire yourself to respond in this situation. "To sum up: Im curious about orgasm "types" and what different orgasms are like. I want to be able to orgasm on command. Tantric meditative exersises seem to give me some sort of results but it seems impractical for the kind of sexuality I am pursuing. I obviously havent drawn any conclusions, and maybe a lot of this will make more sence once Iv actually had intercourse (or maybe not, plenty of studies report that a majority of women in our society cant actually orgasm from vaginal stimulation) but in any case Id love to hear the thoughts and comments of those more experianced then I." Again, take the tantric exercises less literally. Also, don't pursue a specific kind of sex rationally with a narrrow focus. Of course if the idea turns you on, then definitely try it, but the rational mind is often so far removed from the subconscious. If you like what you try, keep doing it, but do so with constant variation. You can be intensely in a moment and relaxed at the same time but not trying to force yourself to rationally conform to a preconceived idea of what you want to turn you on, but rather by stepping back and letting events play out (this involves releasing inhibitions mostly). "I realise that Iv mostly only talked about female orgasm here, but be free to comment about male orgasm as well. Actually one thing that I found interesting, one of the two books did claim that ejaculation is not the same thing as orgasm for a man,and that men can in fact orgasm without ejaculation. Id love to hear your thoughts." Men can orgasm without expressing fluid externally, but they cannot orgasm without ejaculation. What men who claim to orgasm without ejaculation experience is retrograde ejaculation. When men clench down on their PC muscles on the verge of orgasm, what this does is force the semen back into the bladder instead of out of the urethra. There are concerns about whether this presents health hazards or not, but I think it's not very well studied in general. | 2009-08-14 21:17:23 |
| 1046 | 6769 | I started masturbating when I was three, I just didn't know what I was doing yet. I was drying myself off with a towel after having a bath once and when it rubbed against my private part it felt good, and that's how I started. And then discovering on my own later that night, I found out it felt really good if I was lying down and rubbing with my hands. I started doing this nightly before bed but I shared my room with an older sister. One night she looked under my blanket and saw what I was doing. She seemed shocked and told me to stop. She said it was bad, and that if I kept it up, it would control me and I wouldn't ever be able to stop. She said it was for adults to do. I wasn't sure what she meant, only that I felt that what I was doing was bad. I stopped doing it for several nights, but when I couldn't take it anymore, I started secretly doing it; when my sister wasn't around or looking, but I felt bad and worried that I was doing something very bad because of what she said. I'm sixteen now. I finally found out what I've been doing all this time a few weekends ago. There were eight of us and we were celebrating someone's birthday by going swimming, then a movie, and then a sleep-over. After the swimming pool closed, and they announced that we all had to leave, we headed for the changeroom. In the shower area, was a little kid, maybe 4, 5, 6? She was all alone, in the public shower rubbing her private area with her hand and then both her hands and very much excited about it. I recognized what she was doing as my secret activity that I do by myself, except I liked to lie down and do it under my blanket, not standing up. Before she stopped, she started jumping up and down on her tippy toes while rubbing and she was breathing very hard before calming down. When we got home later that night, we were all talking. After a while, someone blurted, "Hey, did you all see that girl at the swimming pool masturbating?" I didn't know what they were talking about right aways, but very quickly I did, and I had known they were talking about that girl I also saw in the showers. Now I had a name for one of my favorite things to do and that other people did it also. Then someone later said, "She had an orgasm too, I saw her." I didn't know what that word meant either yet. Then they started talking about all the weird places that they themselves have masturbated secretly. And there were lots, except that I didn't do any of that, all I knew is I like to do it under my blanket at nighttime. They started talking about how old they were when they started doing it. Almost everyone said 11 or 12. Nine was the youngest. They had to ask me. I said 3. They didn't believe me, even after I told them my towel story. Then they did pretend to believe me and made fun of it and said that I was born a little nimpho, whatever that is. But ever since that night, I haven't been able to stop masturbating. It feels like I'm doing it costantly this summer. I used to do it nightly as a kid, but when I turned twelve, I started doing it more. Now that I know what masturbation actually is, I feel like I do it ten times a day. And I'm worried that my sister might be right, that it's bad and I won't be able to stop. I try to stop, but I just go a few hours, and the feeling to do it comes back again. I need to know if it's bad and how to stop. | 2009-08-17 21:43:40 |
| 1046 | 6770 | It's not bad at all, it's actually good for you. The only time it would be bad is if it's harming your life or body. You're young and not in school by the sound of it, so you don't have any real responsibilities. When school starts, if you find that your grades are dropping because you spend all your time masturbating instead of doing homework, then you would need to try to do it less, but not necessarily stop. Or if you do it so much that you start giving yourself abrasions, then you need to think about doing it less. You're young and full of hormones, and eventually you'll not feel like doing it all the time. It's just a phase most people go through as a teenager. The important thing is that masturbation is not bad, you just need to learn how to channel that energy and urge if it starts disrupting you. | 2009-08-17 22:11:18 |
| 1046 | 6790 | Hi, i fully agree. dfs3 has said it. I implore you, please don't stop a habit this pleasant. Have you noticed? What your sister has said has led to you feeling insecure about your masturbating. To say it was only for adults is entirely wrong. And looking under your blanket was wrong too. She didn't respect your privacy. Children and their sexuality have to be left alone. Nothing good can come from such intrusions. Your post proves this. Adults often say and do nothing that would be good for anybody in those situations. You write it feels good. Right you are! You have started because it feels good. How can something that feels so good ever be wrong. Never. Actually nobody is in the right to tell you to stop. Especially when it is about masturbating. Now to the people at the birthday. People usually say something bad when they don't want to believe somebody. I believe you are luckier than they are. You started earlier. They are just jealous of you. Thats the true reason for them to be this bad to you. And they just don't know what a nymph actually is. They think it is something bad. But it means 'Young Beauty'. They have flattered you and didn't even know it or have wanted to. Perhaps the only time not to give in to the urge is in the public. But think of the girl in the shower. She doesn't care about what others might think or say. She does what feels good for her and revels in her wonderful orgasm. What an admirable girl she is. You see, no reason to feel bad about it. It IS good for you. Please live out your beautiful life. I hope i could help out and my post reaches you. If you have further questions about the matter please post them here. | 2009-08-23 23:06:42 |
| 1050 | 6793 | I'm quite familiar with masturbation however I am concerned that I can not reach an orgasm, I am not to sure why I can not reach this "peak" I am& one that prefers clitoral stimulation no insertion of any kind. What can I do to help encourage an orgasm. I do not own a vibrator, I am wishing to not purchasing one unless necessary any advice would be appreciated. Roselight | 2009-08-25 10:06:16 |
| 1050 | 6794 | Why put off buying a vibrator if it may provide a quick and easy solution? In surveys presented on this website: 13% say a vibrating device was the cause of their first orgasm in the survey linked to below. [url=www.misterpoll.com/polls/212673/results] www.misterpoll.com/polls/212673/results 7% say the same in the following surveys. [url=www.misterpoll.com/polls/212672/results] www.misterpoll.com/polls/212672/results [url=www.misterpoll.com/polls/315895/results] www.misterpoll.com/polls/315895/results Beyond this, the main website has advice on the subject. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/arouse_indx.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/arouse_indx.htm | 2009-08-25 14:48:08 |
| 1050 | 6795 | Thankyou for your reply. I've been a bit nervous on doing such, but it is something I will begin to look into. After I have experienced my first orgasm with a vibrator, will masturbation lead more easier into an orgasm, or does such take time? & | 2009-08-25 17:59:45 |
| 1050 | 6796 | Before pursuing a vibrator, how old are you and how long have you been trying to orgasm? It may not be a question of the right kind of stimulation. Contrary to the name of one of the most popular versions, vibrators aren't magic bullets. | 2009-08-25 20:36:22 |
| 1050 | 6800 | To the best of my knowledge, once you learn to have your first orgasm, subsequent orgasms are easier to experience. It is getting over that initial barrier for the first time that is the major challenge. As with just about everything, the first time is always the hardest, but once you know you can, that has a significant impact on your ability. It is like, "I've done that" versus "I don't know how," or "I can't do that." That having been said, some women are only able to experience orgasm with a vibrator. Vibrators provide a type of stimulation the human body can't. If you've given your fingers, rubbing, and water spray a try, then the only thing left is a vibrator. I don't believe the average young woman has access to a sexual partner with enough sexual knowledge and experience to teach them how to have an orgasm. I believe it is detrimental to continue to have un-fulfilling sexual experiences, and that you can learn how NOT to have orgasms. This is because the brain is the largest and most controlling sexual organ, and learns from experience and what is learned is reinforced by repetition. I don't consider age a factor because girls are experiencing puberty at such a young age these days. It is possible for them to experience years of sexual frustration prior to the age of sixteen, let alone 18 or 21. They can be sexually aware and experiencing sexual desire long before society wants to acknowledge that possibility. | 2009-08-27 13:33:53 |
| 1050 | 6803 | Thankyou brad, I had enough courage& after much procrastination and with thanks from& your post, I purchased my first vibrator (and yes I am over 18). I only began masturbation about 2.5 years ago, I am little disheartened I used& the vibrator without success,& I purchased& a good clitoral one that has several& multiple frequencies etc and I am not responding to the vibrations, I would have guessed that I would have reacted to the sensations but I haven't. I feel that I have been detramented due to my family being against non-traditional forms of dating and that affected myself with masturbating (I was not even aware of such anyhow, did not have the social group to introduce me to it), I was not educated about this& till after teenagehood when someone I knew was discussing it which caught my attention, I've only been recently out of home and enjoying the privacy much even then I am not reacting to stimulations. What are some good tips that I can get myself into the mood, I do not want to go to any porn sites of any kind and romance music does nothing for me. I'm a little cautious about what sites I visit, if you know some that will help, please paste, but they must be safe, malware and virus free. I do admit I have been desiring to use& the vibrator more& since my first use and I have, but I know that I am not in that "frenzied" state& to use it. I am not to sure how to achieve my 1st orgasm. In all sincerity when one experiences their 1st& orgasm, what are the sensations like and how do they know when they've climaxed? I'm reading information from your site, but having trouble not knowing what is good for me etc, which is why I asked here. Thankyou. | 2009-08-28 04:22:03 |
| 1050 | 6805 | it sounds like you may have certain inhibitions preventing you from fully experiencing sexual pleasure.& you say you don't want to view any porn. i understand most porn is made for men (straight or gay), and to& some degree& lesbian/bisexual women.& is there any particular reason you feel that you won't enjoy& or even want to enjoy porn?& you also seem to have had an upbringing that didn't encourage sexual exploration/feelings and may have even repressed them. i can't tell you how to get into the mood.& you have to decide for yourself what turns you on, what fantasies (maybe someone you're interested in sexually)& you may have.& porn is usually used to help facillitate this (once you know what you like), but you may have to find something else.& it also helps to have a positive body image, and especially knowledge of your genitals, their appearence, function& and sensitivity.& the last thing you need is any guilt or shame about what you are doing or thinking of.& remember, if you are not hurting anyone, there is nothing wrong with what& you are doing.& on the other hand, you may be doing something that just feels so good for you. did you read any of the fantasies that many other women have? [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/fantasy_v1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/fantasy_v1.htm& (this is& just the first of seven pages)& maybe you'll find something that resonates with you. did you also read the masturbation techniques on this website? [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/mast_v.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/mast_v.htm (there are many more pages of techniques if you have the time to read them all).& you haven't really said what type of techniques you have used.& for first timers, humping the bed/mattress/pillow seems to work pretty well.& the continuous sustained pressure/weight and friction against your entire clitoral/vulval area might do the trick. you could even combine the humping with the vibrator (under the pillow, towel or something wrapped around it) as it moves with or against you. but all of this might not do anything, if you're not mentally turned on and allow yourself to experience the moment.& sure, sometimes the body can fool the mind, but& even then, if you start to have feelings (physical or emotional) that you have never had before, will you get scared and stop mastubating before you reach& an orgasm? and finally, don't be so goal oriented with your masturbating.& that can come later (excuse the& pun), after you know how to bring yourself to orgasm.& instead, combined with your fantasy, focus on the sensations of your body, continuing to do what feels good until it doesn't. then you may have to try something else, or you might even have& had your& first orgasm. | 2009-08-28 05:35:43 |
| 1050 | 6807 | Lobo, yes you hit the spot with regards to stopping before reaching the orgasm, I can feel it happening, then just like the crash of a wave it disappears. I just need to know how I jump over that mental& hurdle so it doesn't intrude in what I do, I am not even too sure where to begin.& I don't even have any emotions or "make noises" I know everyone is different, I do in so many ways feel odd. I prefer clitoral stimulation, finger insertion and breast play& does not interest me. I did make a post about female orgasm videos, however I am not comfortable walking into a rental video shop, but I am concerned about online videos malware, viruses and so on and I honestly don't want to do any memberships of any kinds, any suggestions? If I must use a video store I will. What would you recommend for accomplishing that mental hurdle, should I continue to use the vibrator? And what do I do about the video situation, is it a good thing to look into, I'm a little shy and I don't have friends. | 2009-08-28 08:51:47 |
| 1050 | 6809 | Finding real female orgasms on video can be a bit challenging, as there is enormous pressure on women and porn stars to put on a show, to live up to male fantasy. In the following videos, only the woman knows if her orgasms were real. The first website started out being legit when it was created several years ago, but has since become more pornish. The girl on the second website is using legit technique, but likely knew the camera was there, and is much more vocal than I believe most women are, as most learn to hide their activities from others. The following is a porn site: Female genital massage, orgasm looks real to me The following is an amateur porn site, and the orgasms are more likely to be real, but I don't know for sure. It does cost $25 to join for a year. Based on video clips I have seen on the free section, at least some of the action is not faked. It is almost like, if the video is a little bit boring, it is more likely to be real, though some women are sexually aroused by the idea of performing for the camera. | 2009-08-28 14:27:32 |
| 1050 | 6811 | I stumbled across two sites yesterday, girlsclimaxing.com and the-female-orgasm.com. I wouldn't know how to tell real from fake if its boring then in some cases is real. I'll keep that in mind in future. If I browse away from the pages you offered me, will any of it contain malware or viruses? & Thanks everyone for your all help. | 2009-08-28 19:07:51 |
| 1050 | 6812 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "To the best of my knowledge, once you learn to have your first orgasm, subsequent orgasms are easier to experience. It is getting over that initial barrier for the first time that is the major challenge. As with just about everything, the first time is always the hardest, but once you know you can, that has a significant impact on your ability. It is like, "I've done that" versus "I don't know how," or "I can't do that." " Which is the point of my asking. It's more likely a matter of her not knowing how to orgasm than a lack of technique that can easily be solved with a toy. " That having been said, some women are only able to experience orgasm with a vibrator. Vibrators provide a type of stimulation the human body can't. If you've given your fingers, rubbing, and water spray a try, then the only thing left is a vibrator. I don't believe the average young woman has access to a sexual partner with enough sexual knowledge and experience to teach them how to have an orgasm. " I disagree. I believe that most people who struggle with orgasm struggle with the psychological side of it rather than with the intensity of the physical stimulation. That's not the case with every woman, but it is with many. " I believe it is detrimental to continue to have un-fulfilling sexual experiences, and that you can learn how NOT to have orgasms. This is because the brain is the largest and most controlling sexual organ, and learns from experience and what is learned is reinforced by repetition. " I agree with this all, especially the second part. The brain is the largest sexual organ, not the clitoris, and a vibrator doesn't stimulate your brain. Giving a vibrator to someone that doesn't know how to orgasm is like shouting at a person who doesn't speak your language. It's not a matter of the person being unable to hear, but rather a matter of the person not being able to process the sound in a meaningful way. "I don't consider age a factor because girls are experiencing puberty at such a young age these days. It is possible for them to experience years of sexual frustration prior to the age of sixteen, let alone 18 or 21. They can be sexually aware and experiencing sexual desire long before society wants to acknowledge that possibility." The ability to orgasm is not linked to puberty. Just as some can experience sexual frustration before the height of puberty, others might not even have sexual awareness until after they pass puberty. Age is important in that it implies a degree of life experience that a person can draw from in different ways depending on where they are in life. " | 2009-08-28 21:41:33 |
| 1050 | 6813 | [user=16286]roselight[/user] wrote: "Lobo, yes you hit the spot with regards to stopping before reaching the orgasm, I can feel it happening, then just like the crash of a wave it disappears. I just need to know how I jump over that mental hurdle so it doesn't intrude in what I do, I am not even too sure where to begin. I don't even have any emotions or "make noises" I know everyone is different, I do in so many ways feel odd." First thing you need to learn while masturbating is to block out any thought of how other people masturbate (except, of course, if thinking about it turns you on). A lot of people don't make noises, and a lot of people who do make noises do so artificially to please their partner. " I prefer clitoral stimulation, finger insertion and breast play does not interest me." That's natural, so just disregard anything that suggests that you "should" respond to those other kinds of stimulation. Some women do, some don't. You're one that doesn't, so you need to learn to work with what you've got. "I did make a post about female orgasm videos, however I am not comfortable walking into a rental video shop, but I am concerned about online videos malware, viruses and so on and I honestly don't want to do any memberships of any kinds, any suggestions? If I must use a video store I will." Ignore videos as a way of trying to learn how to orgasm. Everyone orgasms differently and the important thing is the way you process the stimulation internally. This is something you can't learn from watching other people masturbate. There are some very reputable membership sites where you can get safe access to more porn than you will ever be able to watch if you're interested. Also, the video quality and technical reliability of these sites make the purchase worthwhile. If you change your mind, I can make a recommendation for one that I've used before. If you're willing to invest in a good vibrator, I don't see a reason not to invest in a good porn site. You can always cancel if it doesn't do anything for you. " What would you recommend for accomplishing that mental hurdle, should I continue to use the vibrator? And what do I do about the video situation, is it a good thing to look into, I'm a little shy and I don't have friends. " First of all, since you say you're shy, I'll guess you even feel shy alone in your room as you masturbate as if you feel you'll be caught or something (a very common reaction). You need to be totally comfortable with the idea of masturbating. It will help you relax immensely and stress can be a big inhibitor of orgasm. Second, don't struggle with it. Your body will work however it wants. If you try to force it in a way you think it should work but it doesn't, it's just not going to respond. Orgasm can be like a stubborn mule. The harder you tug the reins to force the orgasm, the harder it digs in and fights back. It's better to coax it and guide it than to force it. If it's not coming, don't get frustrated. Orgasm is nice, but it's not the only reason to masturbate. Remember the saying that "it's about the journey, not the destination". If you think of a fireworks show, the orgasm is the big finale, but just like a fireworks show, if you only get there for the finale, impressive as it is, you've still missed the show, so focus more on the little moments while you masturbate rather than looking ahead trying to find the orgasm. Also, don't think of it as a hurdle to jump. Orgasm is more like a release of energy than something you just switch on and off. Imagine masturbation as a river and up ahead in the river somewhere is a waterfall (orgasm is the waterfall). If you walk around in the river, some spots have a stronger current than others. While you masturbate, move around (mentally) to find the strongest current. If you stay in the strong current, the waterfall will pull you over without you having to struggle. If you stay in the shallow pools you won't get anywhere. That strong current comes as a result of mental and physical stimulation in the right ways at the right time. You can continue using the vibrator if you like as long as you always remember that it's just a tool. A computer helps a writer finish his novel faster than a pencil and paper, but the writer is still the one who makes the words flow, and the vibrator won't make you orgasm if you don't know how make good use of it. This is something you have to learn for yourself through trial and error. Next, you don't have to be in that "frenzy", but it helps to learn how to get yourself into that state. The best way to do that is to do away with all of your assumptions about yourself. Let yourself fantasize about whatever springs to mind. If something comes to mind (or if you see something in porn, should you choose to go that way) don't assume it won't turn you on without seeing for yourself first. Also, while you do know you prefer clitoral stimulation, don't rule out other forms of stimulation. While, for example, your nipples may not respond physically to plain stimulation, you may find that specific kinds of stimulation to your nipples within the context of fantasy may do wonders to turn you on psychologically in that it may make you feel sexy or sexual or sultry or naughty. For example, if you find that fantasizing about a specific person licking or biting your nipples turns you on, then trying to simulate that act while fantasizing may heighten the reality of the moment even if stimulation without context does nothing for you. This is just an example, of course. It could be anything. If you have, for example, a strong desire to give a man oral with chocolate syrup involved, dip a banana in chocolate and lick it off while pretending it's a penis. This would obviously give you no physical stimulation, but it stimulates other senses. Likewise, if you wish you could be more bold sexually, then be so when masturbating. If you normally masturbate in a comfortable, familiar setting, try changing it up and masturbating someplace out of the ordinary. You might find that it gives you a different thrill. | 2009-08-28 22:58:15 |
| 1050 | 6816 | If you try to achieve an orgasm, it won't happen. | 2009-08-29 03:12:36 |
| 1050 | 6820 | Roselight, have you ever looked at Betty Dodson's writings?& Her famous (or infamous) and groundbreaking book is called "Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving." She also has a website, and on that website you can find much information and celebration of women's sexuality.& The link below is, I think, a very good and sensitive explanation of how to experience one's first orgasm. [url=dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/first-time-orgasm]dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/first-time-orgasm Please take a look.& It might help. KA | 2009-08-31 00:20:40 |
| 1050 | 6898 | Here is a link to a video of a woman masturbating to orgasm, using a bullet vibrator. www.voyeurweb.com/contris/EroticClips/ev200910/20091005-118574/index.html | 2009-10-12 12:34:22 |
| 1051 | 6804 | I don't feel comfortable walking into a video store& to hire one to be educated on watching a female orgasm. Is there& a safe (malware, virus free)& site(s) that I can watch a woman experiencing an orgasm without the cost of paying for a membership. Thankyou. | 2009-08-28 04:50:57 |
| 1051 | 6815 | In a word, no. At least not reliably. Free porn is always a crap-shoot, especially since the fact that being paid to make a video makes the authenticity suspect. I can think of a single site off the top of my head (and it's a pay site) that fairly reliably delivers videos that are likely real, and that's because the videos are contributed by members of the online community. There are forums where you can find videos from the site for free (I have been a member before and have downloaded a good portion of the site myself), but anything free is suspect when it comes to malware, and a free porn forum is unpredictable in what kind of content you can even find in the first place. | 2009-08-28 23:16:13 |
| 1051 | 6817 | Hey Roselight, Just some stuff from my experience (and imagination): I go to www.youporn.com . It's free, and to the best of my knowledge, I've not had a virus infect my computer from this site - but don't access it on a public computer (sometimes the auto-complete function on the web-browser shows up youporn if someone starts to type youtube). If you try searching for amateur, it's not really that reliable - but if you watch some of the videos, check to see if the camera angle shifts. If it does, chances are that there's someone behind the camera; and then it's probably not a home made video. This could reduce your chances of seeing a real orgasm. Hope this helps :) | 2009-08-29 07:16:30 |
| 1051 | 6819 | You might google "woman friend sex toys" or something like that. I've heard of babeland.com and there are others that are woman-oriented and avoid the hard-core male-oriented porn. They usually offer telephone support and, of course, are discrete in their mailings. | 2009-08-30 06:29:23 |
| 1051 | 6822 | Babeland.com is really a good site. They have stores in Seattle, WA and New York.& I've never been to a sex store and wouldn't want to go to the one in my small town.& However, I have polled my female friends who live in Seattle and they have told me very good things about the bricks and mortar Babeland. That is, they have actually gone into the store and not felt uncomfortable. That's a pretty good endorsement for me.& I'm planning to pay a visit next time I'm up there (in a few weeks).& I'm sure the Babeland staff can give you some good advice on videos.& Go to the site and send them an email.& You can buy the videos online and you'll never have to go near a sex store. Good Luck! | 2009-08-31 00:30:56 |
| 1051 | 6823 | I think there is one called visibly orgasm females or visibly orgasm ladies... don't have the link but you may want to try it | 2009-08-31 01:29:56 |
| 1051 | 6828 | [user=16286]roselight[/user] wrote: "I don't feel comfortable walking into a video store& to hire one to be educated on watching a female orgasm. Is there& a safe (malware, virus free)& site(s) that I can watch a woman experiencing an orgasm without the cost of paying for a membership. Thankyou. " safe, free porn is& a bit& of& an oxymoron. most free& quality porn comes in the form of scattered torrent files, that first of all is illegal, and second, usually& have malware hidden in them.& & & if you're considering going to a video store, then you have to pay money anyway.& it's been so long since i've even been to a video store that had porn, but you have to pay around 5 dollars for just one video and only keep& it for a few days.& that can add up quickly if you rent multiple titles more than once.& you're probably better off paying for a membership. i don't know if you have a credit card, although some sites accept online checks.& what you can do is get a membership& and then cancel the next day.& your membership will still be active for the rest of the month, and you'll have access to& hundreds if not thousands of clips& to download for as long as you& want to keep them on& your computer. & so instead of paying 5 dollars for one movie, you can pay as little as pennies each for hundreds of movies. if this is what you decide, then you might want to check out [url=www.thebestporn.com] www.thebestporn.com which is probably the most comprehensive porn review site on the web.& & not only do they review sites, but if you access the porn sites through their website, sometimes they give discounts on some of the site memberships.& if female masturbation/orgasm is what you're interested in, then [url=www.ifeelmyself.com] www.ifeelmyself.com is probably the very best site of its kind (real masturbation/orgasm) on the web.& it's a bit pricey, $29.95, with no discount available from thebestporn.& actually, one of the models has a blog, [url=sequoiaredd.wordpress.com]sequoiaredd.wordpress.com& ,& and if you access the site from her blog (banners on the right side of the screen, halfway down the whole page), you can get a 10% discount.& there's another site called [url=www.abbywinters.com] www.abbywinters.com which is broken into three sites, one of which is an intimate masturbation site which is like a smaller version of ifeelmyself. & it's a little bit cheaper if you& get a membership to only one of the sites and not all three.& and then there's one more site called [url=www.ftvgirls.com] www.ftvgirls.com& . this site's more than just a masterbation site, but has many free trailors (only& one minute, so not very helpful)& on their update preview page.& also around 30 bucks.& there are many more sites as well, but those are the best ones at the top of my head. again, you can try the free stuff first.& there's much more risk and it might be& hard to find good stuff, or exactly what you want.& the torrents can take a frustratingly long time to download, even when they're clean. by supporting the creators of quality porn, you can ensure that quality porn is still available on the web. most sites are going to go out of business in the next few years due to the& economy& combined with& youporn and file sharing sites. | 2009-08-31 05:16:25 |
| 1052 | 6810 | Hello, I'm Katie and I'm new here :) I have basically made this topic to enquire about orgasms. I have been masturbating from a young age, but it is only during the past 2 years, I have realised what I was doing was masturbation, and began exploring my body more thoroughly. So, I have being experimenting, and trying to achieve orgasm. But, I don't know what it feels like to have one, so I have had some trouble :/ However, the past 3 times my boyfriend has been round, I have got an amazing feeling when he rubs my clit which I have never felt before in my life. Basically, I will be enjoying it, as usual. And suddenly, I will start to breathe heavier than normal and my whole body tenses up and shivers. Then I get the feeling like I'm going to cry, if that makes sense. And afterwards, my body will twitch and shake for a good 10 minutes. Anyway, I am guessing that this either means I am close to orgasm, or that what I felt is an orgasm. Either way, it feels amazing, and I was just hoping that someone with more sexual experience than myself can help me shed some light. Thank you for reading :) | 2009-08-28 18:55:29 |
| 1052 | 6814 | Sounds like an orgasm to me, congrats :) | 2009-08-28 22:59:37 |
| 1052 | 6821 | Sounds like a VERY GOOD orgasm to me! | 2009-08-31 00:23:32 |
| 1052 | 6824 | Nice going Katie... I think you came are you very wet after this? Melissa | 2009-08-31 01:33:24 |
| 1052 | 6829 | Thanks for your input guys :) I feel rather proud of myself now ^^ "Nice going Katie... I think you came are you very wet after this? Melissa"I'm not too sure. I'll check next time | 2009-08-31 09:56:55 |
| 1052 | 6843 | Hello all, I am Katie1991's boyfriend. Thanks a lot for the help. We've been together for 2 years, but only in the past few months I have began giving her orgasms. It nice that I can give her something she enjoys for all the love and affection she gives me. But yes, thanks for the help, Its nice to know that i'm doing something right and am not useless. On a side note, I am a guitarist and supposedly, we have good hands, and from Katie's reaction, im almost certain that's true Thanks for the input guys! :D As an answer to [user=130]melissa malena[/user], i think i should no, and the answer is yes, during the masturbation, before during and after she is substantially wet down there.& | 2009-09-05 18:47:35 |
| 1053 | 6831 | I received this question but don't have any experience with or knowledge of the subject. A Google search indicates it isn't an uncommon experience, though I haven't witnessed it myself, which isn't saying much. [url=www.google.com/webhp?hl=en#hl=en&source=hp&q=shivering+after+orgasm] www.google.com/webhp?hl=en#hl=en&source=hp&q=shivering+after+orgasm Have any of you ladies experienced the same? I would guess she is indeed experiencing orgasm, and her body is releasing residual muscular tension, and her body is hypersensitive after orgasm. [indent] [/indent]" I would like to ask you something about clitoral/vaginal stimulation. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 1 year and a half. We are both sixteen. I discovered this website and used in order to obtain as much knowledge as I could about female sexuality. Some months ago for the first time my girlfriend and I were alone in a private place. So we started kissing and after sometime we were both naked. I started caressing her body moving from her neck to her toes. I ended up stimulating her clitoris, and liking her labia minor. I could hear her climaxing, and at some point she started asking me to insert my fingers inside her vagina. I teased her for a while and then did so. I tried to stimulate her g-spot (not sure if I succeeded though) and licking her clitoris at the same time. In a short manner of time (she was lying down on her back originally) she raised her back and started looking at me, then closed her legs and tried to move away from my fingers. I stopped licking and stroking her and asked her if had caused her pain or made her feel uncomfortable she moaned "no". She told me to hold her tight, and I did. While I was holding her I noticed she was shivering, and went on for about half a minute. During that time she was pretty much unable to talk, she just pressed me on her chest held me tight. Later on when she was past that phase she told me that she enjoyed it a lot and that I was wonderful. However I was not sure if she said that because she felt that way or to please me. It's been a long time since then and every time we meet she asks to caress her and she always ends up shivering. Most of the times she tells me she enjoys it and that I am perfect or something in that sense. Could it be really that I am causing her pleasure or is she just becoming just too sensitive and can't stand me touching her or maybe she just wants me to stop because she doesn't eel comfortable continuing? " | 2009-08-31 13:56:01 |
| 1053 | 6839 | Hello, I am the sender of this email. Let me state that I am not sure if the shiverikng occurs after the orgasm, it might be during the orgasm or she might not even expereince orgasm at all. You can never be sure can you? Let me also state that what occurs to my girlfriend is simillar to what this woman explains in this thread [url=www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=1052&forum_id=7%29.] www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=1052&forum_id=7 "And suddenly, I will start to breathe heavier than normal and my whole body tenses up and shivers. Then I get the feeling like I'm going to cry, if that makes sense. And afterwards, my body will twitch and shake for a good 10 minutes."Let me also state that after my girlfriend stops the shaking she gets very emotional and wants to cuddle. PS: I made a typo in the last line "eel" should be "feel". I am looking forward to your answers, thank you. | 2009-09-01 10:56:33 |
| 1053 | 6842 | I shiver quite vigorously both during sexual activites and after orgasm. I just figured it's because I get quite excited or something. The only time this didn't occur was yesterday, when I got my strongest orgasm so far (after which I started crying for no apparent reason) | 2009-09-05 18:30:35 |
| 1053 | 6848 | I don't think this is just for women, some times after i ejaculate my body will twitch a little and i have trouble walking for a little while. It doesn't feel odd so i don't really think its anything to be to concerned for either sex to be honest | 2009-09-05 19:26:14 |
| 1053 | 6899 | While watching a war movie, of all things, last night, I learned an adrenaline rush may result in shivering, as may anxiety. Adrenaline: answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/277170.html Anxiety: www.npadnews.com/anxiety-symptoms.asp#shaking symptoms.wrongdiagnosis.com/cosymptoms/panic/shivering.htm And there is "Pee Shivers" en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-micturition_convulsion_syndrome | 2009-10-16 15:32:45 |
| 1053 | 6901 | Adrenalin does definitely cause shaking, especially where the person or any other animal isn't able to actually use it up& in a fight or flight sort of response. For example, one of my last dogs didn't like other dogs coming up to her and if one did and I couldn't get her back to me before it got to her, she'd attack it good and proper and I'd have to rush in and pull her off. I always used to be shaking afterwards even though I wasn't scared as such....The shaking wasn't apparent until it was all over...you wouldn't notice it whilst trying to catch the dogs and pulling them apart. Also, you'd feel the effects of adrenalin when at work in a shop and you had an aggressove customer...the body preparing itself for either giving them a good well deserved slap which I really wish I could have done sometimes, or get out of the way...quick!! | 2009-10-17 12:19:01 |
| 1053 | 6961 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Adrenalin does definitely cause shaking, especially where the person or any other animal isn't able to actually use it up& in a fight or flight sort of response. For example, one of my last dogs didn't like other dogs coming up to her and if one did and I couldn't get her back to me before it got to her, she'd attack it good and proper and I'd have to rush in and pull her off. I always used to be shaking afterwards even though I wasn't scared as such....The shaking wasn't apparent until it was all over...you wouldn't notice it whilst trying to catch the dogs and pulling them apart. Also, you'd feel the effects of adrenalin when at work in a shop and you had an aggressove customer...the body preparing itself for either giving them a good well deserved slap which I really wish I could have done sometimes, or get out of the way...quick!! " I've had that at work a few times. Working in a kitchen for 5+ hours, non-stop orders coming in - to the point where i started feeling really cold. | 2009-12-31 03:48:58 |
| 1053 | 6969 | If you can, check her nipples while she is shivering... are they erect?& That could indicate she is having or has just had an orgasm.& Is she really wet down there?& If she DID orgasm, some women feel too sensitive immediately afterward to continue direct stimulation.& Maybe she& is shivering through the rest of her orgasm as best she can after she has you stop the direct stimulation.& One other thing to consider cautiously:& has she had any traumatic sexual experiences in the past?& Maybe the feelings trigger memories... Or maybe she is just learning about having orgasm and this is the way she is acting it out.& We are all different.& But if she SAYS she enjoys it and she ASKS you for more, my guess is that she is LIKING the sex with you. I do shiver after some orgasms.& Either with my guy or alone but mostly alone, I think because I tend to have stronger orgasms from masturbation.& | 2010-01-04 16:52:49 |
| 1054 | 6835 | & here is an example of what I was thinking about when I started the thread. [url=www.lvratlanta.com/cosmetic/labia_majora_aug.html] www.lvratlanta.com/cosmetic/labia_majora_aug.html | 2009-09-01 01:21:31 |
| 1054 | 6837 | [url=www.pelosimedicalcenter.com/before_after_pages/sexual_enhancement_beforeafter.htm#Vulvoplasty] www.pelosimedicalcenter.com/before_after_pages/sexual_enhancement_beforeafter.htm#Vulvoplasty OK, check out these examples under vulvoplasty. My opinion being that each example looks MUCH better and beautiful after augmentation. | 2009-09-01 01:42:18 |
| 1054 | 6838 | The problem as I see it is, women are trying to fight the affects of aging and childbirth. They are trying to maintain the appearances of a young women, if not a young girl, one who has not experienced vaginal birth, and some cases sexual intercourse. In reality, we all pretty much have no idea of what is normal as we age, only what the appearances of youth were. So is every woman, and man, going to be undergoing elective cosmetic genital surgery several times as they age? Some of these women are undergoing the first round of surgery in their teens, as they going to have repeat surgery after every child is born, or every 10 years? | 2009-09-01 02:41:28 |
| 1054 | 6841 | As a male, I find it very sad that women are unhappy with the appearance of their genitals. It is normal and natural that women don't all look alike just as breasts are different. The vagina/vulva/etc are unique and beautiful and it is the extremely rare woman who needs surgery. I think this is the result of basic insecurities in some women (some would characterize it as self-hatred) and marketing intended to improve the financial well-being of plastic surgeons. | 2009-09-05 04:09:32 |
| 1054 | 6849 | I had no idea that a person could enhance their labia majora.& You learn something new everyday. As for the overall appearance of the vagina changing through sex, childbirth and age, that varies for all women.& I've spoken to women who have had children and all of their kids were delivered vaginally and the appearance of it never changed at all.& It still looks the same as it did before they were even sexually active yet for other women, I've heard of the skin stretching so much that it causes them pain from simple things like sitting, bike riding and so forth.& I have a friend on another forum who's in her 70's and she's never had any type of surgery down there and she's told me that she still looks the same as when she was young.& Not like a 4 year old girl young but more like a young woman. For women who's labia, whether it be the majora or minora, causes them physical pain then I think these surgeries are a great option for them because no one should be expected to live with pain when they know it could be corrected.& As for women who only want to change the way they look because of insecurities, I think they should try to accept themselves for how they look first before resorting to any medical procedure and if they still feel like going ahead with the surgery, just make sure it's for YOU and what you want and not for what other people like or find more attractive. | 2009-09-06 14:52:24 |
| 1057 | 6852 | im quite annoyed. i stimulate myself by rubbing my clitoris. this is the only way to stimulate myself as i do not have or want to have a vibrator. i get on an emotional high and cannot really describe what i feel but i know im close to an orgasm. but then it become so much that i can no longer stimulate myself properly and then the feeling just goes. i dont think its an orgasm so what can i do? | 2009-09-13 00:46:07 |
| 1057 | 6854 | Have you tried reading or watching erotica to help keep your brain distracted yet focused on sex? | 2009-09-13 15:22:15 |
| 1057 | 6857 | i havent actually, thanks | 2009-09-21 04:26:18 |
| 1060 | 6859 | & Hi Everyone! Something has been on my mind for as long as I can remember... I'm female and throughout my life Ive always had sexual fetishes. I have two main ones and then a few more 'secondary' ones that relate to the others... is this normal? Whenever I read stuff about sexual fetishes its always about men, as if they are an exclusively male phenomenon! Are women not supposed to have fetishes? Or do they just not talk about it as much? I've taken an abnormal psychology class and when the section on paraphilias/sexual fetishes came up there was not a single mention of women with them. I looked on here and it doesn't seem like there was much about women with fetishes either... I guess I'm just a bit weird? LOL. Can anyone on here relate to this? | 2009-09-23 20:03:18 |
| 1060 | 6864 | There are many women with a bondage or S&M fetish, but given society has a chaste view of women, it doesn't acknowledge the possibility of them having fetishes. If women engage in these activities, it must be to fulfill the man's fetish, not their own, right? Plus, does a woman who has a particular affection for her pillow have a fetish? How about her lingerie? Society overlooks the obvious at times. This website doesn't address them simply because it is challenging enough to keep up with "vanilla sex." | 2009-09-24 12:30:43 |
| 1060 | 6870 | "I read stuff about sexual fetishes its always about men, as if they are an exclusively male phenomenon! Are women not supposed to have fetishes? Or do they just not talk about it as much? I've taken an abnormal psychology class and when the section on paraphilias/sexual fetishes came up there was not a single mention of women with them." I also noticed this.& I think one reason is the androcentric utterance. Hundreds years ago, this androcentric society even thought women are asexual.& Another reason, which I hasn't heard before, or which I think I discovered first, may be that, if we employ the current criteria of sexual fetishism to women, we& have to& incline to conclude that, unlike men some portion of whom have fetishes,& women are& generally have& sexual fetishes.& Let me explain. If we examine women's behaviors more attentively, we will& see that women usually take something other than men's body as the prerequisites& of performing sex-related behaviors --& the prerequisites including& men's money, power, social status, etc. I note women don't consciously reject performing sex-related behaviors onto but still& sexually attractive to& men who are poor, inferior etc. Quite contrary, they unconsciouly& refrain from performing& when facing such kind of men, which means this is something physiological. You may say this is a remnant of the mechanism of sexual selection, or the result of social indoctrination. But whatever,& this phenomenon, i.e., something other than& human body play an big role in sex-related behaviors,& exactly meets the standard of sexual fetishism. This means, if women's sexual fetishism is considered, either we should& modify the definition of sexual fitishism to exclude women's very feature and made it still "normal"; or label women& a group of fetishists and had them cured. Either way has& serious social consequences. & | 2009-09-27 05:42:14 |
| 1061 | 6860 | Dear ladies. I've finally brought up the courage to ask about menstruation. I'm afraid i am a male. Alas, i cannot experience it for miself. I wish i could. :-(( So I can only humbly ask. How do you perceive menstruation, how do you feel about it? Why do i have the feeling, i am on thin ice? Can you help me with this? | 2009-09-23 21:04:56 |
| 1061 | 6873 | [user=15220]Beholder[/user] wrote: "How do you perceive menstruation, how do you feel about it? " Me and my period have always had a love hate relationship up until about four years ago. Now I secretly celebrate inside with a smile each time I have one and even more so, when I have one on time. I had a few hormonal problems which started around 2004 and my periods virtually stopped that year, but after sorting things out medically I can honestly say that when they returned in 2006 I was over the moon because I felt more feminine having them then when I didnt have them for many months. Princess :) | 2009-09-28 03:44:44 |
| 1061 | 6876 | Many thanks for your nice reply. I'd like to tell the reasons for my post. First, please know that i am very positive about periods. And i admire women for all the good they stand for, but just as well for who and what they are. I'm often dreaming about how wunderful it must be to be female. But surely the obstacles of a male mind and body make it difficult to fully imagine, let alone even to begin to understand. I try to imagine what my life would be like if i was female. I've given it much thought and drawn a conclusion. I would like the whole thing for miself. I would love my period and even look forward to it. It's not only that. I admire every aspect. Could this be the beginning of an understanding? So i know the male side of life. It's not too shabby. However, i will never experience femininity from my own perspective. As much as i adore it, as much it will never happen. I have to be content. A pity. :( But the female side of life i feel to be kind of 'divine divinity' in comparison. A higher form of being. I'm sure you know better than me that women are capable of pleasures that by far exceed what males are designed to be able to. So i am jealous, and with good reason. This wonderful forum more than proves this. And lastly, i wanted to point out that i am happy for you now that your periods are back and you are feeling more feminine. No more love hate relationship i guess. So i wish you all the best. Beholder | 2009-09-29 19:32:36 |
| 1061 | 6879 | thank you Beholder, I understand (I think) what you are saying, you are certainly not the first person I have spoken with who dreams of what it would be like to be the opposite sex and having mixed feelings about the concept. Being a sexual woman is complicated, on the one hand yes we have the ability of reaching great heights and exploring our pleasures to be true to ourselves celebrating our feminitiy, but on the other there is this other side we are, (speaking from my own experience of course) "expected" to be natural mothers, managers of the household and the world of things associated with that, care givers, general support for anything and everything that comes up on a daily basis within the family nucleus and have to juggle with a whole host of unbalancing hormones as well. In short, sometimes this all becomes such an enormous entity all of its own that it leaves little time to be the great lover and experience these great highs which is a shame. Menstrual time of the months throws into the mixture some emotion disturbances, often painful afternoons and evenings, uncomfortable nights, and mood swings. Sometimes these pass by without too much disruption but sometimes they dont and I used to find myself wishing that something would just break the cycle so that I could be let off from the periods for a while. You know the saying "be careful what you wish for" well when my periods stopped for such a long period of time I felt quite devastated and very difficult to balance all the other normal things out. I found I approached the daily issues differently and not in the usual calm serene manner that I normally would hence not feeling so feminine which was / is especially important to me. It is one thing to be all the things I described : natural mother etc. but quite another to have suddenly felt like I turned into a freak because there was something incredibly massive missing from my life. Without my periods at such a young age yes, I did feel very un-feminine so am very happy that they have returned to me and each month when I experience the start of my cycle I now quietly and privately smile about it as I know what it is like to be on the other side and I didnt like myself very much during those darker months. Menstruation whilst sometimes painful, emotional and disruptive, is a celebration of being a woman so I am truly grateful and wouldnt change a thing about the experience. Princess :D | 2009-10-01 04:45:52 |
| 1061 | 6881 | Thanks for the insight, Princess. I wouldn't want to change a thing about the experience too if i was you. Granted, i cannot experience the same mood swings and painful afternoons. But despite it being uncomfortable at times i'd gladly live to see it all for miself so i can understand much better what it is like in its whole. For me, in the end its all about understanding each other better. My passionate interest for the gorgeous sex stems from several things. Me being male, not having a girlfriend that truly shares my perfervid sex-drive. If i only found someone who shares my drive. OK, i know i'm getting a bit offtopic here. But i have a girlfiend as laid out here: www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=1005&forum_id=7 But as i have written in this post, "she seems to be totally devoid of desire, arousal and passion let alone extasy or orgasm" luisa1 has said "but as a woman I think she just want a "buddy" to talk to, to confide(some things)" I think she's right about this. We are both thirty years now and have newer had any kind of sexual encounter. For me, it just hasn't happened. Of course i'd like it. But my girlfriend doesn't seem to be interested in general. ?? Maybe (surely?) i'm not the right one to spark passion in her. We've met in the elementary/class1 so we've known each other for *some* time. Now to my own mood swings. Despite that i could have known the answer, i asked her if she'd like a relationship with me. As i had expected, she turned it down. :( Selffulfilling Prophecy? And this had consequences. In several nights i broke down for several hours. Sure, i am not the only one with this. I am telling this because i'm yearning for the moment when it happens and i finally can liven up and unleash myself fully. In the meantime i'm left to miself. Feeling so alone... Before that happens i'm kind of stunned. There's not a single day i don't ponder on this. The only time i am truly content is during a selfmade climax. For 10 seconds. The rest of the time - stunned. Another reason for me to be very jealous. When i read this post: Orgasm? www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=1052&forum_id=7 i knew that i had been given a mass of pottage (male form) upon entering this world. Lucky Katie1991 has a good ten minutes, i only have ten seconds. So i've gotten 1/60 i could have had and it is not going to change for me. I'm glad for her, but i have virtually nothing in comparison. So when i have to be satisfied with such few, how severely constricted must this be. Beholder :? | 2009-10-01 20:08:36 |
| 1063 | 6863 | Bummer, embedding a video clips doesn't appear to work within this forum. You can access the video at this link: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/save.html The ad is meant to attract the attention of men, but aren't all the women also ogling the buxom brunette? Isn't the ad also being used to get the attention of young women? | 2009-09-24 12:14:33 |
| 1064 | 6865 | I was wondering, is it safe to wear 2 condoms at one time? Or does that increase the chance of the condom splitting? Thanks in advance | 2009-09-24 16:30:37 |
| 1064 | 6866 | No, please see the following website: www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1139.html | 2009-09-24 19:34:23 |
| 1064 | 6867 | The answer is no. Two condoms at once drastically increasses the likelihood of both condoms tearing and should never be done. You should also never use petroleum based products like vaseline as lubrication with a condom because it corrodes. The condom may not split visibly in this case, but it could create holes in the latex enough for some semen to get through. | 2009-09-25 02:54:41 |
| 1064 | 6868 | Ok. Thanks for the reply | 2009-09-25 12:41:45 |
| 1065 | 6871 | Its my first time trying to masturbate and i cant figure out anything that gets me going. Ive only tried rubbing around & sticking a few things in me. ive gotten juices flowing, but 1. I have no clear idea of what an orgasm is and 2. I dont know how i could possibly have one without being sexually active Help!!! | 2009-09-28 01:35:11 |
| 1065 | 6872 | These things can not be rushed or forced, you need to slow down and relax, if something feels good go with it, if it doesnt then stop concentrating on it and move on to something else. Main thing is that you do not injure yourself whilst masturbating, it is supposed to be enjoyable and natural so just go with what feels good for you, there are no hard and fast rules. Here is a link to the main website for more info www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/masturb.htm Princess | 2009-09-28 03:13:05 |
| 1065 | 6874 | First thing you should do is stop trying to orgasm. Orgasm is often the result of masturbation, but should not be the point. It isn't something you just do, as though you were flipping a switch. I have some analogies that I like to use for orgasm. Imagine orgasm as a water balloon. Water balloons are fun, and when you throw them at people they explode and everyone gets drenched and everyone laughs and has a good time, right? Well, trying to rush to orgasm is like throwing a water balloon at someone without putting water in the balloon first. If you throw the empty balloon, it just falls on the ground and nothing happens. The balloon won't pop unless it's full. Orgasm is the same way. Orgasm is a release of sexual energy, but you have to "fill up" with the energy before it will release. The trick to masturbation is to figure out how to get that energy turned on and flowing. When you learn how to do that, then your body will orgasm on its own. The harder you try to orgasm, the more frustrated you will get and the longer it will take to actually get there. If I asked you to draw a picture of an animal you'd never heard of, could you do it? Of course not. Orgasm is the same way. You've never felt one, so trying to have one is like walking around in the dark, because you don't know what you're supposed to be looking for. What you should do is start at square one. There are two things you need to remember when masturbating. Sexual pleasure requires both the right state of mind and physical stimulation. Your brain is where all pleasure is actually felt, not your body. Your nerve endings just send signals to your brain and your brain can interpret them in different ways depending on the mood you're in. The physical part is the simple part. There aren't that many different ways to touch yourself, so it's just a matter of trying to touch different parts in different ways until you find something that feels nice. If you need ideas, there are parts of this site that have stories from other people that can give you a bunch of ideas for techniques. The mental part is the hard part, because there are so many things that can go wrong to keep you out of the right mood. Its best to try to learn to masturbate when you have some privacy and no stress. Make sure you're not hurried and don't have to be somewhere shortly and make sure you won't have any interruptions. I don't know how old you are, so if you're younger it may be harder to find time alone without interruptions, but I'm sure we can help you find some ideas if you need help with that. Once you have that, you need to find something that gets you in the mood so your mind will interpret the physical touching the way you want it to. You can do this through fantasy, or you can read erotic stories, or if you're old enough you can watch porn. I would suggest spending plenty of time before masturbating just thinking about different things to see if any of them turn you on. You say you're not sexually active, so if you're shy about sex, it may take you some time to feel comfortable even thinking about certain kinds of sexual things before you get in the right mood. Most importantly is this: don't try to fit your own personal experience with what you think other peoples' experiences are like. Every person is unique and responds to different ideas and techniques, and if you try to force yourself to fit in with an idea about how you think "normal" people are "supposed" to masturbate, you will only be frustrated. So keep an open mind and focus on what actually works for you in the moment, not what you think is supposed to work for you. That's really vague advice, but hopefully it'll get you started in the right direction. If you have more specific questions or problems, feel free to ask for more specific advice. | 2009-09-28 04:17:46 |
| 1065 | 6875 | OMG, it's Princess back from the dead :shock: | 2009-09-28 04:18:34 |
| 1065 | 6880 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "OMG, it's Princess back from the dead :shock:" LOL you post something like this each time I pop up :) miss you too! Princess :D | 2009-10-01 04:47:45 |
| 1066 | 6877 | www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/09/30/ why.women.have.sex/index.html | 2009-09-30 12:50:18 |
| 1067 | 6878 | Hi, Once again I've received an email from a woman wanting to know if what she has experienced was an orgasm. It is hard to know for sure based on her description, and trying to explain what an orgasm is and feels like is hard to convey, even with videos showing actual orgasms. Videos don't necessarily show what is occurring under the skin. Technically, an orgasm is a series of muscle contraction involving the pelvic muscles, vagina, and possibly the uterus and other muscles. I have put together an animation that I hope gives the impression of the pelvic muscles contracting rhythmically. I have created 4 different versions, with different timings for the contractions, though technically each contraction lasts slightly less than 1 sec (0.8) seconds in length, as I'm not sure the "correct" timing provides the correct message. Ladies, do any of the animations linked to below convey your experience of orgasm, are they too technical, out in left field? The animations are each 1.4Meg at this point, so the page may be a little slow to load. I would likely change this in the final version. Animation 1 is the slowest and technically correct timing, animation 4 is the fastest timing. Each animation repeats itself after a 2 second pause. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/female_orgasm_1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/female_orgasm_1.htm Thanks, Brad | 2009-10-01 00:11:40 |
| 1068 | 6882 | Hi girls & boys! I'm looking for some good videos with partnered sex& where women have real orgasmen and how they reach it. There is an amazing amount of comercial videos/porn, but I often feel the women are "acting". I would like to see "real" couples, who love each other, not actors. Looking forward to your answers! :-) | 2009-10-02 15:47:55 |
| 1068 | 6889 | Unfortunately, about the only ones I know of are those of an educational nature. Like those about female genital massage. Female Genital Massage [url=index.php?cPath=23_62] index.php?cPath=23_62 Female Masturbation [url=index.php?cPath=23_58] index.php?cPath=23_58 I don't know how real the female orgasms are, but Sinclair, part of Adam & Eve, produces a line of erotica for women. [url=www.sinclairwholesale.com/erotica/royalle.aspx] www.sinclairwholesale.com/erotica/royalle.aspx Some are available for online viewing [url=www.gamelink.com/display_product.jhtml?id=115118] Candida Royalle's One Size Fits All | 2009-10-05 13:45:16 |
| 1068 | 6890 | Thanks for your help! | 2009-10-05 13:56:29 |
| 1069 | 6883 | I've started masturbating since I started being sexually active. That's about half a year ago. The thing is that I masturbate very often, almost every day and sometimes twice a day. I get great orgasms every time I do it and I've learnt more about me and how to be pleased and it has helped me a lot when it comes to have sex because now I feel more confident and my partner and I have wonderful love sessions. Now, two questions: -There are times in which I get really tired when I stimulate my clit while I'm having sex and I can't reach an orgasm and I get very upset. Any recommendation not to get so tired? -Is it healthy to masturbate so often? I mean, is it normal to want to masturbate so often? And, is it healthy to touch myself so often? My boyfriend says it is OK as long as it is not interfering with my normal life. It is not interfering, but I wonder if it happens to other girls. Thanks!!! | 2009-10-03 19:42:23 |
| 1069 | 6884 | Hi Nimph..I agree with your BF 100%, and also that there is no a& definite limiit as how many& times you do it, your body sets the limit and I think your body is telling you to give it a break. The reason you feel tired is due to the large amount of muscles involved in a orgasm and the energy spent, jusst think only in the pelvic area how strong the contractions are, your back, your arms, your face, and the list goes on. My advice is when you get to this point just think positive and switch your stimulation to other areas(& vagina, nipples, anus, etc)or simply rest and use your fantasies and let the tension fade away naturally...You're blessed that& you can reach several orgasms in a day. luisa | 2009-10-04 11:53:06 |
| 1069 | 6892 | Thanks for the answer! :) | 2009-10-07 16:12:58 |
| 1070 | 6887 | [url=content.usatoday.net/dist/custom/gci/InsidePage.aspx?cId=coloradoan&sParam=31746141.story]content.usatoday.net/dist/custom/gci/InsidePage.aspx?cId=coloradoan&sParam=31746141.story German magazine swaps thin models for real women By Melissa Eddy, Associated Press Writer BERLIN — Germany's most popular women's magazine announced Monday that it is banning professional models from its pages in favor of "real women" in an attempt to combat an unhealthy standard of rail-thin beauty that it says has isolated its readers. The editor-in-chief of Germany's bimonthly Brigitte told reporters that, starting next year, the magazine will feature a mix of prominent women and regular readers in photo spreads for everything from beauty to fashion to fitness. Andreas Lebert said the move is a response to readers increasingly saying that they are tired of seeing "protruding bones" from models who weigh far less than the average woman. "We will show women who have an identity -- the 18-year-old student, the head of the board, the musician, the football player," Andreas Leberts said in Hamburg, where the magazine, published by Gruner+Jahr, is based. Fashion centers around the world have begun trying in recent years to combat the size 0 look that has come to dominate the fashion industry, contributing, some experts say, to eating disorders and poor body image. In 2004, the Dove beauty products company launched its own "Campaign for Real Beauty" that included print and billboard ads showing "real women," of all shapes and sizes, posing in their underwear. In 2007, the U.S. Council of Fashion of Designers of America issued voluntary guidelines to curb the use of overly thin models. Fashion officials in Madrid set a minimum body-mass index, and those in Milan tightened restrictions. Efforts gained urgency after 21-year-old Brazilian model Ana Carolina Reston died of anorexia in November 2006, weighing 88 pounds (40 kilos). On its Web site, Brigitte announced to readers that "A New Epoch has Begun" and women to submit a portrait and full-body photos of themselves to considered for a photo shoot. "We will pay the same fee as we would for professional models," Lebert said, adding that the magazine views the move as an investment. Lebert said his magazine's move "should not be understood as a declaration of war on the modeling profession." "We are not going to become a magazine for plus-sizes," he said. Brigitte has suffered a steady drop in readers over the past 20 years but, with more than 719,000 copies sold per issue, it remains Germany's most-read women's magazine. Louisa von Minckwitz, who owns the German-based Louisa Models agency, told The Associated Press she believed the ban on models was a marketing gag that would not last for long. "Women want to see clothes on a beautiful, aesthetically pleasing person," von Minckwitz said. | 2009-10-05 13:03:05 |
| 1070 | 6894 | I will agree that& quite a lot of& models are thinner than they'd otherwise be if not models etc..but not all.& Also, remember that many models are still only teenagers where it is common for them to be more lanky and less curvy anyway. I've noticed a few models who seemed to naturally fill& out once they hit their 20s...like I did.& I know women in real life who are just naturally very slim but yet they eat perfectly normal like everyone else. I know guys just the same. I've known quite a few guys who train at the wing chun school I train at who are really scrawny.& I have always been naturally slim but eat more food than your average person. I could never skip breakfast or go all day without eating like I know a lot of people do who weigh quite a bit more than me. In fact, I can't go longer than about 3 hours between meals and eat last thing before bed too just to get through the night and, no, my thyroid is not over-active or it would have shown in recent blood tests. If I go too long without food, I get the shakes. Of course, not everyone is meant to be that way but to say that women who are thin are not real women is like saying women who are fat are not real women. Some women are meant to be thin, just not all. It's like saying you must be a size 12 or over in order to be a real woman. It's wrong to say that because I've seen articles featuring women who are naturally really thin and wish they could put weight on to look more curvy, have bigger boobs etc....How do people think women like that will feel to be told they're not real women because they aren't fat enough? I think it is very unfair to brand being thin as being wrong by default. People can't assume that because a woman is thin, she doesn't eat correctly because thats simply not true. People wouldn't dare openly ban pictures of fat people because they would be pulled down for prejudice...whats the difference here? I think society is too busy now trying not to offend the overweight that they've gone to offending slim people instead... It's unacceptable either way. I don't agree with starving yourself to be thin or anything or feeling you must be a size 8 when you're a size 12 and don't reckon many people would natually be a size 0 but then many models aren't even that small contrary to belief,& but people must accept that you do get naturally thin people just like you get naturally curvy people. You do not get naturally fat and obese people...it's either over eating or a medical condition.& Magazines should perhaps just show more of a variety of women rather than banning thin ones altogether so that all shapes and sizes can feel accepted. | 2009-10-09 06:18:47 |
| 1070 | 6896 | I think this kind of governmental interference is acceptable. Objectively, we can't say being& slim is wrong and being plump is right.& My body& is naturally& slim and i think that's fine. But the point is that, there is a dangerous culture that deems women OUGHT to be thin, and being thin& is& TRULY beautiful. This culture makes more than a half women, who have no nature tendency to become slim, want to become slim at any cost,& including their lives. We have heard a lot of cases of anorexia nervosa.& Anything that becomes a culture becomes irrational. Its establishment or downfall& no longer depends on any& course of reason. This kind of governmental interference& seems rude, but the trend it means to counterbalance is& irrational and rude too, or maybe more irrational and ruder.& So I think& cultivating& the counter-culture of more& plump women by this way& is necessary to protect those women's health. And by the way, I don't think most men really like thin women naturally. Because fat tissues has contributions to reproduction. If the weight of a woman's fat tissues is less than 22% (I can't recollect the exact number right now) of her total weight, she can't ovulate and& hence have no offspring. Therefore if there are any men who like thin women naturally, their number may not be too many.& Weight-reducing culture is arguably a social invention. How? If some pervert men who happen to be& members of the& minority of thin-women-liking folk control the propaganda of fashion, then they creat the weight-reducing culture. That's& how "people's speech is fearful." | 2009-10-09 22:24:47 |
| 1071 | 6888 | [url=www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1927227,00.html] www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1927227,00.html Like many Western countries, France requires health warnings on tobacco and alcohol and similar labels on processed food containing genetically modified ingredients. France's regulators are also notoriously tough on marketing campaigns that make false product claims. Now some French legislators want to take consumer protection to an unprecedented level, requiring that advertisements, product labels and even campaign posters carry a warning when they feature a photograph that's been digitally enhanced. The drive against airbrushed photos is being headed by conservative parliamentarian Valérie Boyer, who says the widespread use of digital technology to alter images is feeding the public a steady visual diet of falsified people, places and products. This artificial reality leads people to expect perfection from themselves and the world in an impossible way, she says. "When writers take a news item or real event and considerably embellish it, they are required to alert readers by calling the work fiction, a novel or a story based on dramatized facts. Why should it be any different for photographs?" Boyer asks. "Rules on food labeling let consumers know the origins of the contents and the presence of things like additives and preservatives. What's wrong with ... informing them when photographs have also been modified from their original form?" Advertisers would argue that doing so undermines the allure of perfectly photographed people and places in marketing campaigns, which, in many cases, is what sells. A svelte model with perfect skin, for example, is likely to make you want to eat high-fiber cereal more than a model with visible imperfections. Perhaps, says Boyer, but she believes that passing enhanced imagery off as the real thing is misleading. Her proposed legislation would require doctored photos meant for public distribution to carry the warning "Photograph retouched to modify the physical appearance of a person." Anyone violating the rule could be fined about $55,000. Since she presented her draft to parliamentary committees in September, Boyer has been joined by more than 50 other legislators who want to see it introduced as formal legislation and voted on in the coming months. Boyer's effort is not only motivated by a fear that consumers are being taken for a ride. She also feels the idealized beauty in such photos is giving people false expectations of how the world should look — and how they should look as well. Because digitally enhanced photos are often used in mass-marketing campaigns for everything from soft drinks to luxury cars to travel packages, Boyer says the images are gradually leading to a standardization of what is considered beautiful — and by extension, what isn't. "It's creating parallel worlds: one in which everything in ads and photos is gorgeous, slim, chic and what we aspire to, and our daily reality of imperfection, normality and frustration that we can't be like those other people who — literally — don't exist," she says. The advertising and marketing industries would clearly be the most affected by Boyer's proposed law. But her draft also calls for warnings on art photography, press releases and even political posters that have been similarly digitally enhanced. The French media have had fun with the possibility of warnings being placed on political ads, recalling the 2007 vacation photograph of a shirtless President Nicolas Sarkozy in Paris Match magazine in which his bulging love handles were erased to give him a hunkier form. Boyer — a member of Sarkozy's party — meets such sniggering with a swipe of her own. "President Sarkozy was dragged through the mud about that by media that routinely alter photographs without anyone knowing about it, and by politicians who don't hesitate to have their own pictures modified to remove wrinkles, bags or hanging skin," she says. Boyer has also authored a pending law awaiting upper house approval that calls for prison terms and fines for people who encourage and promote anorexia, like those who run so-called "pro-ana" websites and blogs. However, she says her new proposal was written less out of concern that perfect figures in doctored photos were driving women to develop eating disorders and more out of a fear that enhanced images were giving the public an intentionally fabricated picture of reality. If Boyer's proposal does happen to pass in Parliament, how likely is it that the warnings will gain acceptance in France? In a country where beauty is revered, it's hard to say how people will feel about defacing it with a large black and white warning label. | 2009-10-05 13:17:56 |
| 1071 | 6893 | Funnily enough, when I see photos of a particular model or something, I think they look better in the unaltered candids and runway photos than they do in airbrushed editorials. Over-use of airbrush can actually make them look weird. | 2009-10-09 05:53:28 |
| 1074 | 6897 | 2007 Newspaper Article [url=www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/22/LVGPOR337A1.DTL] www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/22/LVGPOR337A1.DTL Movie Website: [url=www.thetechnologyoforgasm.com/] www.thetechnologyoforgasm.com/ Movie Trailers: [url=www.thetechnologyoforgasm.com/videos.asp] www.thetechnologyoforgasm.com/videos.asp Buy Movie: firstrunfeatures.com/passionandpowerdvd.html Book: [url=www.amazon.com/Technology-Orgasm-Hysteria-Vibrator-Satisfaction/dp/0801859417] www.amazon.com/Technology-Orgasm-Hysteria-Vibrator-Satisfaction/dp/0801859417 | 2009-10-10 14:46:11 |
| 1074 | 6902 | Wow!& This is absolutely fascinating!& I'll have to look for the book and film.& Thank you!& Ciao, mayang | 2009-10-18 03:48:04 |
| 1076 | 6904 | Hi, I have noted in sitcoms here in the US there is regular mention of men masturbating, but recall only one hint at women doing the same. Anyone else notice this double standard? 'Two and 1/2 Men' now mentions men masturbating on a regular basis. 'Accidentally on Purpose' also used the subject for laughs in a recent episode An episode of 'Friends', from prior to 2004, mentioned it. The only mention of female masturbation I can recall involves the cartoon, Meg on Family Guy: [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzTxnamGETE] www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzTxnamGETE Female masturbation is shown in the movies, a word search for 'masturbat' on the following website turns up 251 scenes. Some of the listed movies may be soft porn rather than mainstream movies. [url=www.celebritymoviearchive.com/tour/search.php] www.celebritymoviearchive.com/tour/search.php Is there mention of female masturbation on TV that I'm not aware of? Brad | 2009-10-20 12:57:22 |
| 1076 | 6912 | There is a hilarious episode of Seinfeld titled "The Contest" in which the four of them try to see who can go the longest without masturbating. Elaine is part of the contest. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Contest It's VERY funny. | 2009-10-24 02:32:00 |
| 1076 | 6913 | On CBS this past week: On Gary Unmarried they addressed the subject of his son spending too much time in the bathroom, though it turned out he was only reading a chick book. The boy's mother wanted the son to know masturbation was normal. On "The New Adventures of Old Christine" a guy tells Christine that she can begin without him, he is talking about therapy, she is thinking sex. So I guess that alluded to female masturbation, as part of partnered sex. The TV shows seem to be getting a little more explicit, trying to attract viewers. In the past I haven't been a big TV viewer, so don't really know what they normally mention. | 2009-10-24 14:24:14 |
| 1076 | 6915 | I think this is a general thing not just on TV. It seems to be quite commonly known and expected for men to do a bit of DIY but the subject of women doing it still seems to be really very taboo. | 2009-10-25 10:48:01 |
| 1076 | 6919 | True, but why, and how can we address this disparity? The sexual revolution began 40 years ago, but female masturbation seems to have been left behind. Based on the shared masturbation experiences teens are sharing, their peers still wont admit to doing it, which likely means the mother of the girls probably don't admit to it either, not even to their daughters. Why is it still so taboo for mom to admit to masturbating, even to their daughters? Based on my conversations with women, I know they discuss a lot of very personal stuff, stuff guys never talk about, even go to toy parties in droves, yet masturbation is taboo. This isn't just older women either, I know of college age women who seem oblivious to the idea that normal girls their age masturbate. One couldn't understand why a friend with a partner would have a need for sex toys. Brad | 2009-10-26 18:43:38 |
| 1076 | 6920 | Hi Brad, I did read a book about old times in the USA and they mention Nantucket as a fishermen village in the late 1800 early 1900and they narrate the long fishing& expeditions and they found in many of the old house's attics worn out wooden dildoes and I assume the women masturbated often during the husbands absences. Interesting& hidden secrets of those times.Luisa | 2009-10-27 12:00:50 |
| 1076 | 6921 | It is like the US lives in denial of its sexual history: In Kinsey's 1948 & 1953 surveys, 62% of females reported that they had masturbated, 45% to orgasm. Even back then the majority of women had done it, yet over 50 years later women act as if none of them have ever done it, though 80-90% have. If their grandmother did it, why is it so hard for young women to admit to it, even to their peers, and mothers to daughters? I know college age women who have been comfortable admitting to doing, shyly admitting too it after accidently letting the cat out of the bag, or were totally in denile of the fact that they would, despite being rather randy at times, and without a partner. Others would admit to it after being drunk, but they would still admit to it. I've had a couple even show me their toys. :P Does female masturbation, admitting to doing it, equate to admitting to being a quote unquote slut? If so, why are girls so anti-sexual, despite being very sexual? www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/ak-data.html#masturbation | 2009-10-28 17:55:41 |
| 1076 | 6922 | SEX AND THE CITY :D | 2009-11-01 14:33:15 |
| 1076 | 6923 | I forgot about a scene in the House TV series: [House talks to Concerned Mom who thinks that her daughter has epilepsy] Dr. House: In actuality all your little girl is doing is... saying yoo hoo to the hoo hoo. Concerned Mom: She's what? Dr. House: Marching the penguin... ya ya-ing the sisterhood... finding Nemo? Little Girl Patient: [giggles] That was funny. Dr. House: It's called gratification disorder, sort of a misnomer. If one was unable to gratify oneself, that would be a disorder. Concerned Mom: [covering little girl's ears] Are you saying she's masturbating? Dr. House: [making fun of the mother by talking out of the corner of his mouth so the little girl supposedly won't see that he's talking] I was trying to be discreet. There's a child in the room. | 2009-11-02 11:18:54 |
| 1076 | 6949 | The Big Bang Theory... ...is quite open about sex and romps in the bedroom(s) by various cast members. In the 12/10/09 episode Leonard's mom (a psychiatrist) mentions Leonard's learning to masturbate in the past, and she later mentions to Penny that she has been responsible for her own orgasm (without her husband's help (basically)) since 1982. | 2009-12-17 03:40:40 |
| 1076 | 6951 | Penny later admitted to doing the same "since 2003", unless I misunderstood her comment in the bar, later in the episode. Two episodes ago on Two and a Half Men a couple women mentioned using a vibrator when their partner couldn't fulfill their needs. They appear to mention male masturbation more often, perhaps testing and warming the waters, and now mention female masturbation too. To learn the most about references to masturbation on TV, the most detailed references appears to be those most offended by it! :shock: "The Big Bang Theory features frequent sexual content, most of it verbal innuendo and references, including references to masturbation, the probability of Penny having a sexual relationship with Leonard, and anatomical references. Leonard has an on-again off-again relationship with a fellow scientist, Leslie, and they speak very frankly about their sexual interactions. Language used has included the words "hell," "damn," "bitch," "bastard," and "ass." Violence is not a problem for the program." www.parentstv.org/PTC/shows/main.asp?shwid=2637 "The content on Two and a Half Men is not appropriate for children of any age. Language used includes "hell," "bastard," "crap," "ass," and "bitch." The show consists of a constant barrage of sexual scenes and jokes. Charlie is promiscuous and the show depicts his use of women for meaningless sex as a source of humor. Some outrageous scenes have included Charlie in bed with three women at once, constant references to Alan's masturbatory habits, and references to Charlie's use of pornography. Other sexual humor surrounds Jake's entering puberty. Jake has a naive view of sex and women, but he idolizes Charlie's promiscuity and drinking and considers his own father a pathetic loser. There are countless jokes involving and references to genitals and sexual positions. Violence is not a problem for this show." www.parentstv.org/ptc/shows/main.asp?shwid=1771 "The entire premise of Accidentally On Purpose revolves around sex. In the first episode, Billie has sex with Zack mere hours after meeting him. There are frequent and multiple sexual references to anatomy, condoms, masturbation, and promiscuity. One plot involves Zack masturbating with self-tanner liquid and turning his private parts orange. There was also one reference to drug use when Billie finds that Zack's friend Shane has used an urn as a bong. Violence is not a problem for this series." www.parentstv.org/ptc/shows/main.asp?shwid=3018 [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Joycelyn_Elders#cite_note-time1994-0] | 2009-12-17 12:21:39 |
| 1076 | 6956 | The opening scene of a movie available to watch online at Hulu.com seems very appropriate to this discussion. Very kinky girl. :D [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] [url=www.hulu.com/watch/99258/strictly-sexual] www.hulu.com/watch/99258/strictly-sexual | 2009-12-22 19:58:54 |
| 1076 | 6957 | Which movie Brad?& & thanks luisa PsHappy New year | 2009-12-23 13:19:52 |
| 1076 | 6958 | The link takes me directly to the movie, "Strictly Sexual". Happy Holidays :) Brad | 2009-12-23 17:30:44 |
| 1076 | 6959 | There is a sitcom series here in the UK that's been around since the early 90's called Gimme Gimme Gimme, the main character mentions playing with herself several times throughout each episode. A couple of others that spring to mind : Men Behaving Badly - essentially its a sitcom about two guys living the bachelor lifestyle but constantly after two particular women in their lives, striving for a relationship with them but retaining their stance on doing all the ladish things like watching porn, lusting after other women, drinking lager in large quantities. The two women they want to be with in a romance sense start to take on similar like behaviour, there are several references throughout the series about vibrators, other toys and self fulfilment in their sex lives. Only Fools and Horses is an 80's sitcom, Rodney's wife Cassandra in particular, the two of them are often seen discussing new ways to spice up their marriage. There are more, names of the programs dont come easily to me because I dont watch tv much. The three mentioned above enjoy constant reruns at the moment on some of the cable and sky tv channels and have been watched to death during the Christmas holidays so the titles are easy to remember for me this week :) Maybe its not so much a taboo topic here in England, but still not open enough to be the mainstream like the mention of men and DIY. | 2009-12-30 05:16:31 |
| 1079 | 6914 | Does female masturbation online groups exist? Is it true that they're places online where female take place in on line masturbation? Would be interested for the social side. | 2009-10-25 08:29:31 |
| 1080 | 6916 | I find this hard to believe, but I guess it is possible. :? INTRODUCTION: Research has demonstrated the association between vaginal orgasm and better mental health. Some theories of psychotherapy assert a link between muscle blocks and disturbances of both character and sexual function. In Functional-Sexological therapy, one focus of treatment is amelioration of voluntary movement. The present study examines the association of general everyday body movement with history of vaginal orgasm. AIM: The objective was to determine if appropriately trained sexologists could infer women's history of vaginal orgasm from observing only their gait. METHODS: Women with known histories of either vaginal orgasm or vaginal anorgasmia were videotaped walking on the street, and their orgasmic status was judged by sexologists blind to their history. MAIN OUTCOME MEASURE: The concordance between having had orgasms triggered by penile-vaginal intercourse (not orgasm from direct clitoral stimulation) and raters' inferences of vaginal orgasm history based on observation of the woman's walk was the main outcome measure. RESULTS: In the sample of healthy young Belgian women (half of whom were vaginally orgasmic), history of vaginal orgasm (triggered solely by penile-vaginal intercourse) was diagnosable at far better than chance level (81.25% correct, Fisher's Exact Test P < 0.05) by appropriately trained sexologists. Clitoral orgasm history was unrelated to both ratings and to vaginal orgasm history. Exploratory analyses suggest that greater pelvic and vertebral rotation and stride length might be characteristic of the gait of women who have experienced vaginal orgasm (r = 0.51, P < 0.05). & CONCLUSIONS: The discerning observer may infer women's experience of vaginal orgasm from a gait that comprises fluidity, energy, sensuality, freedom, and absence of both flaccid and locked muscles. Results are discussed with regard to previous research on gait, the effect of the musculature on sexual function, the special nature of vaginal orgasm, and implications for sexual therapy. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18637995 | 2009-10-26 17:43:04 |
| 1080 | 6950 | We need more info on what those sexologists looked for.& | 2009-12-17 03:42:41 |
| 1080 | 6952 | Unfortunately, I no longer have a subscription to that medical journal, as the price increased from $200 to $400 a year. :shock: Now you know why health care, and college, are so expensive in the U.S. :X | 2009-12-17 12:26:38 |
| 1081 | 6917 | "Among a sample of undergraduate students, the most frequently cited sources of clitoral knowledge (school and friends) were associated with the least amount of tested knowledge." :shock: Women report anorgasmia and other difficulties achieving orgasm. One approach to alleviating this problem is to teach women about the clitoris. This assumes that women lack information about the clitoris and that knowledge about the clitoris is correlated with orgasm. Using a non-random sample of 833 undergraduate students, our study investigates both assumptions. First, we test the amount of knowledge about the clitoris, the reported sources of this knowledge, and the correlation between citing a source and actual knowledge. Second, we measure the correlation between clitoral knowledge and orgasm in both masturbation and partnered sex. Among a sample of undergraduate students, the most frequently cited sources of clitoral knowledge (school and friends) were associated with the least amount of tested knowledge. The source most likely to correlate with clitoral knowledge (self-exploration) was among the most rarely cited. Despite this, respondents correctly answered, on average, three of the five clitoral knowledge measures. Knowledge correlated significantly with the frequency of women's orgasm in masturbation but not partnered sex. Our results are discussed in light of gender inequality and a social construction of sexuality, endorsed by both men and women, that privileges men's sexual pleasure over women's, such that orgasm for women is pleasing, but ultimately incidental. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16418125 | 2009-10-26 18:16:41 |
| 1082 | 6918 | Not surprisingly, in relationships in which there is poor communication, orgasm is likely. :( "Communication problems are among the most common complaints brought to couples' counseling and are believed to play a central role in the development and maintenance of many sexual dysfunctions. The present study examined self-reported communication patterns within heterosexual couples where the wife is experiencing anorgasmia and within two groups of control couples. As hypothesized, couples with an anorgasmic female partner reported more problematic communication regarding issues of sexuality than did control couples. In particular, the anorgasmic women and their male partners reported significantly more discomfort than did controls in discussing sexual activities associated with direct clitoral stimulation. The etiologic and treatment implications of these differences are discussed." www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15205064 | 2009-10-26 18:35:08 |
| 1083 | 6927 | I tried to search for this, but I couldn't find a topic about this...im sure there is..so sorry for the double post if there is! Well after an orgasm..I feel like really turned off! I don't know why. I always tell myself when I'm really horny "omg im gonna have so many orgasms" but after the first one, i don't even want to do it anymore..and it kind of frustrates me, because i do! lol And to have another one, it takes me a while to get my 'apetite' going again. Does anyone else experience this??? And why is this? Thanks! | 2009-11-16 18:53:05 |
| 1083 | 6928 | Hi, This may relate to the release of the hormone oxytocin during orgasm. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin "Oxytocin Hormone: The Cuddle Hormone is the Body's Own Love Potion" www.filly.ca/health/body/sexual_health/Oxytocin.asp Many masturbate to orgasm to help them relieve tension and fall asleep, so it makes sense orgasm may be a bit of a depressant rather than stimulate. I don't know if all women can have multiple orgasms, one orgasm right after the other.& Only 33% of women, 1 out of 3, report experiencing this while masturbating, in my survey. www.misterpoll.com/polls/185039/results Betty Dodson recommends breathing exercises, and to explore less intense forms of stimulation while your body recovers, if by chance your clitoris is very sensitive after orgasm. dodsonandross.com/search/node/multiple+orgasms Brad | 2009-11-17 07:00:49 |
| 1083 | 6934 | i feel the same! No matter how horny I am, I can have only one orgasm at a time! After I come,& I feel really tired, but in a good way, very relaxed :) Most of the time& I fall asleep. And my clit feels very sensitive, almost painful to the touch, and I need some time to 'reload'. Now and then I can come twice with man, but only be different means, like when he gives me oral first and we have intercourse later. | 2009-11-22 16:28:28 |
| 1083 | 6935 | I don't get this...in fact, once I've had the first, I can then have a quick succession of more one after the other and then keep having clusters of them... with a little break between the clusters.....if I only& had one and then stopped, I'd be ripping my hair out for the rest of the day...:D | 2009-11-23 19:09:08 |
| 1083 | 6960 | I think its a combination of hormones and the orgasm not being in the mind to start with, before the stimulation started. From my own personal experience, masturbating to fall asleep has become a regular thing. I am mother of six and still breastfeeding my 26 month old youngest boy. I get so tired and overrun with day to day activity in the household it leaves very little time for any sort of sexual activity with my husband. We end up catching the odd hour really late at night like after 4am when everyone is asleep usually with interruptions from the baby who is stirring in his sleep almost waking up. I have come to realise that a huge part of my being is missing, that is the being able to feel like a sexual woman before sex rather than just a mother, house keeper, provider and general manager who sorts everything out. In between all of that it leaves very little space for being a sexual female. In the past some of my favourite sexual experiences have started hours beforehand, talking, being able to flirt, being feminine, enjoying being a woman then finally building up to the main event. I think stimulating your brain to build up to the orgasm makes it a much stronger more complete orgasm. I cant have more than one orgasm either, one good amazing one which comes after hours of verbal foreplay then physical sharing is like taking drugs, I feel very highly satisfied and relaxed, peaceful and contented. But the quick masturbation alone when I want to fall asleep works only 50% of the time, the other 50% its just a release valve that triggers off my brain into activity about all the things I need to remember in a few hours when I can get up again out of the bed. I think lack of feminine hormones can safely be a factor during those times, I definitely feel more masculine afterwards and back in management mode. | 2009-12-30 05:32:55 |
| 1084 | 6929 | After a recent discussion with my boyfriend about our sexual fantasies, I am looking in to purchasing a remote controlled vibrator. The idea of having my significant other discreetly pleasuring me from across the room while we're out with friends or family has been a long-time fantasy of mine, and he agreed it would be fun. :D However, before I run out to the store to buy one, I was wondering if any of you have had experience with such toys. Are they loud? Is wearing one while out in public all that feasible, or can the vibrations be heard by those nearby? Any particular models you would recommend or not recommend? @};- Rose | 2009-11-17 13:13:23 |
| 1084 | 6930 | Hi, I'm afraid I don't know how much noise each model makes. I experimented with the one linked to below, a Power Bullet. In your hand it makes a soft buzzing noise, relative to other vibrators. Held against denim, it was a bit loud. In a sock against my guy parts, the noise level varied from almost nothing to a modest buzz. In a quiet room it is much more noticeable than with some background music playing. With music at a comfortable level I couldn't hear it. Cotton dampens the noise. For me, squeezing my thighs together increased the stimulation. :shock: Keeping the vibe in place against your clitoris may take a little creativity, unless you buy vibrating panties. I don't know how well they would work inside your vagina, it would likely depend on what your vagina is sensitive too. With the noise level in an average restaurant I don't believe you could hear it. At locations with music playing you definitely couldn't hear it for sure. Certainly experiment at home before going out in public. You could also experiment with your cell phone on vibrate. That reminds me of a night out drinking with some girls who decided to compare cell phone vibrators. :P Bullet Vibe: [url=product_info.php?cPath=21_41&products_id=396] product_info.php?cPath=21_41&products_id=396 This question is addressed on another website, but I don't know if their advice will be of additional help. [url=www.vibrators-faq.com/hightech/public-sex.html] www.vibrators-faq.com/hightech/public-sex.html [url=www.vibrators-faq.com/hightech/why-remote.html] www.vibrators-faq.com/hightech/why-remote.html Another Website: [url=www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/positions-toys-techniques/remote-egg-vibrator] www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/positions-toys-techniques/remote-egg-vibrator Funny YouTube videos on the subject: [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ4Q2dl2sgM] www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ4Q2dl2sgM [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKkfIlOErXE] www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKkfIlOErXE Slumber Party Fun: [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr4trRc94Cg] www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr4trRc94Cg Product Info: [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oL6Vv_ZEZI] www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oL6Vv_ZEZI This one addresses noise level [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=VESwJXkPkvk] www.youtube.com/watch?v=VESwJXkPkvk Illustrates noise levels, but vibrator is never shown [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=y203YtDYWd8] www.youtube.com/watch?v=y203YtDYWd8 | 2009-11-18 17:14:19 |
| 1085 | 6931 | Hello all. I was just thinking earlier for whatever reason about when I see wounds, cuts or any other really sore nasty lesions on other people, I get a bit of a squeamish feeling and it always seems to affect between my legs, the genital regions which makes me want to clench all the muscles. I'm not one for passing out on the sight of blood or anything but just get a bit of an unpleasant sensation when I see gory looking wounds on other people. I just wondered why it would be between my legs that I feel it? I just thought it was a bit strange. I wondered if anyone else here experienced this...do men get this too? I know a lot more men that are affected by needles and the sight of blood than women... Also, does anyone have any explanation? | 2009-11-21 18:09:08 |
| 1085 | 6932 | Hi, Many of the muscles and all the blood flow to pelvic region are controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which is part of the "fight or flight" system of the body. On seeing something that you find unpleasant, your body may automatically respond in a protective manner, and prepare you to run away and contract muscles to protect internal organs. A woman wrote to ask about a similar experience when she was sexually aroused by women, because this response caused her anxiety. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_18.htm#10 I was watching a DVD a couple days ago, a segment of "Zen Pussy," during which the camera focuses on 11 different vulvas, as the women breath in and out, contract their pelvic muscles, and move their bodies, and you can see how the vulva changes as they do so. Since the vulva is pretty much out of sight, we tend to not realize it is basically "alive," rather than say ridged and lifeless. Normally we only see or envision& the vulva during sexual activities, not during normal daily activities, so don't realize it moves about and changes almost constantly. Brad | 2009-11-22 10:42:43 |
| 1085 | 6933 | Funnily enough, it seems to affect that area more than any other. I wouldn't have thought the vulva was the most important part of the anatomy for fight or flight, haha!! | 2009-11-22 12:10:12 |
| 1086 | 6939 | I am curious about kegel routines (or anything else) that can contribute to increased sexual pleasure for both me and my partner. I have been doing kegels regularly for about six months now, usually around 50 minutes of exercises roughly 4 days a week. Has anybody else been doing kegels for this purpose, and if so, what sorts of routines do you do? Anybody have experience with vaginal weights? Any other sorts of exercises to increase sexual pleasure? Any comments/suggestions would be welcome! | 2009-12-11 19:52:39 |
| 1086 | 6941 | ;]Hi dear curious.. Actually there are women that grab the penis with the vagina when orgasming and they will hold it , the most common place where this is found is in the Dominican republic and is called "cocomoran"; the women with this kind of vaginal strenght are native and very well appreciated. I think this have to do with Kegel exercises.;] | 2009-12-13 11:44:25 |
| 1086 | 6954 | Don't know if this is fact or fiction, but amusing nevertheless :P World’s strongest vagina breaks own record lifting 14 kilos A Russian woman has set a new world record, lifting a 14-kg. glass ball with her vagina muscles. Tatiata Kozhevnikova of Novosibirsk, aged 42, has been exercising her intimate muscles for fifteen years, and has already made her entrance into the Guinness Book of Records as the possessor of the world’s strongest vagina, she proudly told Life.ru. “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,†she said. “I looked around, saw a Murano glass ball and inserted it in my vagina. It took me ages to get it out!†The embarrassing first experience did not scare Tatiana off. She developed quite a taste for vagina fitness, and now she has her exercising balls custom-made. “You insert one of the balls in your vagina, and it has a string attached to it with a little hook at the very end. You fix a second ball onto this hook.†The Russian recommends vaginal exercises to all women who want to improve their sex life. “It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed,†she says. [url=www.mosnews.com/weird/2009/07/07/strongvagina/] www.mosnews.com/weird/2009/07/07/strongvagina/ A Russian woman has set a new world record for vagina lifting….and yes, before you ask, we’re not making this up, and yes, the Guinness Book of Records keeps a tally on the record. 42 year old Tatiata Kozhevnikova broke the record by lifting a 31 pound (14 kg) glass ball. According [url=www.mosnews.com/weird/2009/07/07/strongvagina/]to local media, Tatiata has been exercising her vagina for fifteen years. “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,†she said. “I looked around, saw a Murano glass ball and inserted it in my vagina. It took me ages to get it out!†Just in case you haven’t tried lifting weights with your vagina before, Tatiata recommends it to all women who want to improve their sex life. “It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed,†she said. [url=current.com/17ghm4c]current.com/17ghm4c | 2009-12-19 13:57:46 |
| 1086 | 6955 | Oh, there is video :shock: - G-rated [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4IxFkP1wmo] www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4IxFkP1wmo | 2009-12-19 14:07:42 |
| 1088 | 6946 | December 11, 2009 Hannah Devlin [url=www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/genetics/article6952050.ece] www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/genetics/article6952050.ece Scientists have identified the gene that keeps females female. An international team found that the action of a single gene is all that stops females from developing male physical traits, including testes and facial hair. When this gene was artificially “switched off†in adult female mice their ovaries began to turn into testes and they started to produce a level of testosterone found in healthy male mice. The discovery could eventually revolutionise gender reassignment therapy and improve treatments for babies who are born with a mixed gender. The research, published today in the journal Cell, challenges a common perception that gender is determined purely by the X-chromosomes and Y-chromosomes. The gene that was switched off, known as FOXL2, lies on a non-sex chromosome that is shared by males and females. “We take it for granted that we maintain the sex we are born with, including whether we have testes or ovaries. But this work shows that the activity of a single gene, FOXL2, is all that prevents adult ovary cells turning into cells found in testes,†said Robin Lovell-Badge, from the National Institute for Medical Research, a co-author of the paper. The gene appears to have a “see-saw†relationship with another gene, SOX9, which is normally active only in males. When one is on, the other is automatically off. In the first few days of male development SOX9 is turned on, and this stops FOXL2 from becoming active for the rest of the man’s life. The reverse occurs in females, with FOXL2 being switched on first. The discovery that gender depends, at least in part, on the competing action of genes that are shared by both sexes suggests that gender can be more easily manipulated than previously thought. FOXL2 was already known to be important for the growth of ovaries during development and for their maintenance during a woman’s life. However, scientists did not anticipate that egg-producing cells in the ovary could be co-opted by a competing male gene to carry out the male reproductive functions. “We expected the mice to stop producing eggs, but what happened was much more dramatic,†said Mathias Treier, of the European Molecular Biology Laboratory, who led the study. Using genetic engineering techniques, the FOXL2 gene was switched off in adult female mice. Any developed eggs in the ovary died. Follicles, which eventually grow into eggs, slowly transformed into cells that looked like Sertoli cells, which produce sperm in the testes. After the genetic therapy, the female mice also developed testosterone-producing cells, and their levels of testosterone surged. The physical effects of this were harder to assess as male and female mice have fewer distinctive traits — there is no difference in hairiness, for instance, and little difference in size. However, the scientists anticipate that in humans the effect would be similar to when testosterone is given in tablet form. In gender reassignment therapy this causes females to lose developed breasts and grow beards. Their voices deepen too. Apart from the changes to their reproductive organs, the mice showed no signs of adverse effects and had a normal lifespan. The researchers anticipate that temporarily suppressing SOX9 in males would have the opposite effect. Turning it off would automatically trigger the ovary development gene to come on, leading to cells in the testes turning into follicles and ceasing the production of testosterone. Applying the therapy in humans is a long way off, but the researchers say that it could dramatically improve clinicians’ ability to change a person’s gender. Rather than be placed on medication for the rest of their life, only a short course of gene therapy would be required. | 2009-12-15 19:13:34 |
| 1089 | 6962 | I was wondering if it's a good idea to get a vibrating tongue ring. My gf told me she loves when i go down on her with my regular tongue ring in. I can last for like 2-3 hours... would a vibrating tongue ring cause my tongue to throb/go numb/or get nerve damage if i had it vibrating for more than an hour or so? I mean, if she likes it... I really don't want to be in pain the whole time lol. | 2009-12-31 03:58:52 |
| 1089 | 6963 | I can't answer the question about what it would do to your tongue but you could get one and alternate it throughout your steamy session with the regular one? | 2010-01-01 11:30:26 |
| 1089 | 6965 | I suppose a tickler and a vibrating ring switch could work well. :) | 2010-01-02 05:19:04 |
| 1090 | 6971 | What an anti-climax: G-spot is a myth January 3, 2010 By Lois Rogers A sexual quest that has for years baffled millions of women — and men — may have been in vain. A study by British scientists has found that the mysterious G-spot, the sexual pleasure zone said to be possessed by some women but denied to others, may not exist at all. The scientists at King’s College London who carried out the study claim there is no evidence for the existence of the G-spot — supposedly a cluster of internal nerve endings — outside the imagination of women influenced by magazines and sex therapists. They reached their conclusions after a survey of more than 1,800 British women. “Women may argue that having a G-spot is due to diet or exercise, but in fact it is virtually impossible to find real traits,†said Tim Spector, professor of genetic epidemiology, who co-authored the research. “This is by far the biggest study ever carried out and it shows fairly conclusively that the idea of a G-spot is subjective.†In the research, 1,804 British women aged 23-83 answered questionnaires. All were pairs of identical or non-identical twins. Identical twins share all their genes, while non-identical pairs share 50% of theirs. If one identical twin reported having a G-spot, this would make it far more likely that her sister would give the same answer. But no such pattern emerged, suggesting the G-spot is a matter of the woman’s subjective opinion. While 56% of women overall claimed to have a G-spot, they tended to be younger and more sexually active. Identical twins were no more likely to share the characteristic than non-identical twins. Andrea Burri, who led the research, said she was anxious to remove feelings of “inadequacy or underachievement†that might affect women who feared they lacked a G-spot. “It is rather irresponsible to claim the existence of an entity that has never really been proven and pressurise women — and men, too,†she said. Most conventional doctors have always doubted that G-spots exist. “I think this study proves the difference between popular science and biological or anatomical science,†said Gedis Grudzinskas, consultant gynaecologist at London Bridge hospital. Beverly Whipple, emeritus professor at Rutgers University, New Jersey, helped to popularise the G-spot, named after Ernst Gräfenberg, a German scientist who claimed to have discovered the elusive erogenous zone in 1950. Whipple found G-spots in a study of 400 women and has written a number of books on the phenomenon. This weekend she dismissed the findings of the British study as “flawedâ€, saying the researchers had discounted the experiences of lesbian or bisexual women and failed to consider the effects of different sexual technique. “The biggest problem with their findings is that twins don’t generally have the same sexual partner,†said Whipple. The quest for the G-spot will not be abandoned. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, which is publishing Burri’s and Spector’s work this week, is planning a debate, with publication of research from the pro and anti G-spot camps. Meanwhile, David Matlock, a Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon, is credited with creating an artificial version of the G-spot. In some cases this has resulted in an over-sensitive zone which induces orgasms when, for example, women drive over bumps in the road. My Comments, All women have a functional prostate gland, and according to my survey, and the one mentioned above, the majority of women say it is sensitive to sexual stimulation. It is this sensitivity of the prostate gland that is commonly called the G-Spot. Even if the G-Spot doesn't physically exist, this sensitivity and female ejaculation do exist. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/female_ejaculation.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/female_ejaculation.htm Many identical twins aren't identical, as a show on PBS Tuesday night demonstrated. One twin was experiencing clinical depression, the other wasn't. [url=www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/] www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/ It should be noted that even in erotica produced clear back in the 1800s there is mention of women releasing fluid during orgasm. Brad | 2010-01-07 12:49:33 |