Old Discussion Forum - From 2005 to 2009
Female Sexuality - 2007 Topics: Part 2 of 2
| Topic ID | Post ID | Post Text | Date & Time |
| 673 | 4338 | Okay, I've been trying to do research on the, subject. I don't exactly know how one starts this, but I guess, here I go. lol. I've tried to masturbate twice now, first time..wasn't that great. I was sore for a week, and the second time was a bit embarrassing but it felt amazingly good. I'm a virgin, and I decided to masturbate because it would take away the pain. As in, sexual thoughts, body responding pain. I had the question on legs shaking. When i tried to masturbate, my legs shook. They always do, it takes less than 5 seconds and they shake. The second time was a bit worse, as in legs went up, shook and it still felt so good. I think the best expression for it is i think i about died and went to heaven. lol. I've never had an orgasm, and I've stopped both times I've tried it. To narrow it down, I was hoping if someone could explain to me what that means. The legs shaking, its happened in the shower when i've touched myself and on my bed and I'm not understanding how it happens and if I could stop it. I tried tightening my legs, but it doesn't help anything. Anyway, I'd appreciate it. lol. | 2007-07-11 00:20:06 |
| 673 | 4339 | Well, some women are just simply highly mobile during sexual stimulation.& Sometimes it means their legs shake, sometimes their shoulders, sometimes their whole bodies.& It might not mean anything and that's just the way you respond to pleasure.& You said it felt great despite the shaking, so I think this is probably it. The other thing is that maybe you're highly sensitive.& Try touching your clit indirectly, perhaps pressing through your labia instead of directly touching it.& Or try masturbating through your panties or with a soft toy that has a lot of give.& One technique that some women use is to straddle a pillow and hump it.& That could have two benefits for you.& First, the pillow is soft and won't overstimulate you like directly touching with your fingers.& Secondly, since you straddle it and have your weight on your knees, it might help minimize the shaking of your legs.& This is assuming that your concern about the shaking legs is that they get in the way of masturbation.& If your concern is a health one, I don't think you have anything to be concerned about. | 2007-07-11 03:29:49 |
| 673 | 4340 | Yeah, the shaking is down to all that tension that builds up. Ever been in a situation that causes your adrenalin to start rushing but you don't use it and so it makes you shake a lot. It would be a similar sort of thing, not the same obviously. Just all that tension building up can make your legs shake. I remember one guy commenting on how he liked it when girls shook during orgasm or when they were close to it& and I'm assuming thats what he meant. It was obviously a turn on for him so I don't think you need worry about it. | 2007-07-11 15:58:29 |
| 673 | 4343 | I love to straddle a pillow and hump it (poor pillow!)...I don't think it dimishes the leg moving though...in fact, when I get near, my hips and legs just get wild...watching in a mirror is incredible... | 2007-07-11 21:54:15 |
| 673 | 4344 | if you have had an orgasm, how is this experience unlike your orgams experience? | 2007-07-11 21:55:16 |
| 673 | 4345 | Well, humping a pillow won't stop the urge for the legs to shake of course, but it will restrict the way they can move.& Of course, if the shaking in question is like an intense trembling, then no position will limit that, but if the shaking takes the form of wildly thrashing and flailing legs, then being on your knees should reduce that effect so it isn't as distracting.& The original poster mentions her legs "going up", so I'm assuming that her shaking is more of a thrashing movement than a trembling. | 2007-07-11 21:59:32 |
| 673 | 4346 | I have no idea what the different is between thrashing and trembling, lol, but that might just be because of my English skills. My legs shake, thats the best way I can explain it. lol. In the shower, they don't hold me up, which is very embarrassing. You'd think you could stand, but like I stated 5 seconds and they shake. Usually in the shower, I've almost fallen which is even more embarrassing when placing that into words, lol. I really don't know how one can describe an orgasm, so to speak. Sorry. | 2007-07-11 22:05:30 |
| 673 | 4347 | well, if you are lying on your back and the pillow is humping you, when you get near, your legs just thrash around big time....and if you are on top, the hips just start wiggling circular around that pillow as I grind that mound there....mmmmm | 2007-07-11 22:09:25 |
| 673 | 4348 | I assume you are lubricating sufficiently? | 2007-07-11 22:10:13 |
| 673 | 4349 | Who? | 2007-07-11 22:11:14 |
| 673 | 4350 | The difference between thrashing and trembling is this. Trembling is shaking in place.& It's like when you're really cold and your body trembles or shivers, but your limbs don't move around in big movements. Thrashing would be like a seizure, where your legs seem to be flailing and kicking around, making big movements at the knees and hips uncontrollably. You say you've almost fallen in the shower, but it doesn't seem like you actually have, so it sounds like your legs are just trembling and you feel weak in the knees.& That is very common, especially the weak knees.& Even guys get that pretty often. | 2007-07-11 22:16:50 |
| 673 | 4351 | [user=130]melissa malena[/user] wrote: "well, if you are lying on your back and the pillow is humping you, when you get near, your legs just thrash around big time....and if you are on top, the hips just start wiggling circular around that pillow as I grind that mound there....mmmmm" I was recommending the second method, the straddling method, which should restrict leg movement. | 2007-07-11 22:18:21 |
| 673 | 4352 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "The difference between thrashing and trembling is this. Trembling is shaking in place.& It's like when you're really cold and your body trembles or shivers, but your limbs don't move around in big movements. Thrashing would be like a seizure, where your legs seem to be flailing and kicking around, making big movements at the knees and hips uncontrollably. You say you've almost fallen in the shower, but it doesn't seem like you actually have, so it sounds like your legs are just trembling and you feel weak in the knees.& That is very common, especially the weak knees.& Even guys get that pretty often. " I guess then it would be trembling. lol. Is there a way to stop it other then the "straddling" position? | 2007-07-11 22:28:12 |
| 673 | 4353 | Well, the straddling method won't stop trembling, it would just stop thrashing.& And you really shouldn't be concerned about stopping the trembling.& There is nothing bad about it.& It's fairly common, and to many guys it's actually a turn-on because it is a visible indicator of sexual response that not every woman has.& The only problem you are having is that you are afraid your legs will buckle while you masturbate.& So just find a masturbation method that doesn't require you to be standing and forget about the trembling. | 2007-07-11 22:38:03 |
| 673 | 4355 | You can't exactly do anything, when your legs shake, lol. I'm a "beginner" if there are masturbation stages, lol. That's the reason I stopped last time, they wouldn't stop shaking! lol. | 2007-07-11 22:46:56 |
| 673 | 4357 | There are ways to deal with the shaking. | 2007-07-11 23:04:03 |
| 673 | 4364 | like.. | 2007-07-12 01:12:34 |
| 673 | 4366 | Like the pillow method, for one.& What about the shaking makes it difficult when you're on your back?& Because if the raising legs and whatnot is making it hard to move your hand, you could try a vibrator on some long shaft that would be easier to hold in place.& There are a huge number of other methods too, but I guess that depends on how the shaking is a problem. | 2007-07-12 04:35:55 |
| 673 | 4367 | Hmm, I never saw the shaking as a problem for me. If it was, I'd have to learn to live with it because there is no way to stop it from happening. Just learn to enjoy it. I've done it when standing before but was standing against the side of my bed which was quite high due to the drawers and stuff I have under it so I just used the bed to stay on my feet, haha. There isn't anything you can do about it at all other than not have an orgasm which defeats the object. | 2007-07-12 16:32:05 |
| 673 | 4368 | lol, well, I'd rather have it not be there. Like other things, i've been told a lot accept what you have and be happy about that. i cant seem to follow that advice when it comes to my body, lol. | 2007-07-12 16:51:07 |
| 673 | 4369 | There isn't any way of stopping the shaking though. Sometimes you have to accept the things you cannot change. Without that tension that causes the shaking, an orgasm couldn't happen....it is part of what the orgasm is. If you tried too hard to stop it, you could even risk stopping yourself from being able to orgasm and stopping having orgasms would be the only reason the shaking stopped. Not really what you want. I'd love to not shake when my adrenalin gets going such as if my dog gets into a fight as she has done the odd time in the past and I had to split them up or if I get into a debate with a nasty customer at work or during a stressful situation like when I did my driving test or had exams, etc......but there is no way of stopping it. I just have to live with it. Also, if& I laugh too hard, my eyes stream that much, it looks like I am crying. Very annoying but I'll never be able to stop it happening. I just have to live with these things. | 2007-07-12 17:08:51 |
| 673 | 4373 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "There isn't any way of stopping the shaking though. Sometimes you have to accept the things you cannot change. Without that tension that causes the shaking, an orgasm couldn't happen....it is part of what the orgasm is. If you tried too hard to stop it, you could even risk stopping yourself from being able to orgasm and stopping having orgasms would be the only reason the shaking stopped. Not really what you want. I'd love to not shake when my adrenalin gets going such as if my dog gets into a fight as she has done the odd time in the past and I had to split them up or if I get into a debate with a nasty customer at work or during a stressful situation like when I did my driving test or had exams, etc......but there is no way of stopping it. I just have to live with it. Also, if& I laugh too hard, my eyes stream that much, it looks like I am crying. Very annoying but I'll never be able to stop it happening. I just have to live with these things. " I guess, lol, will be a bit hard. Things don't always come easy to, so yes, best way to learn to deal with it. My eyes happen to stream as well when I'm laughing, but that i've dealt with. lol, just means im enjoying whatever made me laugh! lol. | 2007-07-12 17:59:11 |
| 673 | 4396 | The trembling could be due to nervousness. I had that happen once when I was masturbating in front of& a former& boyfriend. I was very, very nervous about it and unable to climax. My legs shook like crazy as I got more aroused, but it wasn't pleasant and I think it was a block to orgasm. Or, I guess, the nervousness was the block as well as the cause of the trembling. Is there are part of you that feels nervous or ashamed of masturbating? | 2007-07-14 09:18:30 |
| 673 | 4397 | No, it's not that. My legs have trembled both times and the other occasions when I've tried, but I wouldn't have considered that masturbation. My legs have shaken in the shower, and on my bed. So, I really have no idea, but I'd like it to stop! lol. It's very frustrating and if you tighten your legs, it didn't stop them. Then again, legs shaking isn't my only issue. | 2007-07-14 14:01:57 |
| 673 | 4401 | Do your legs shake when you aren't masturbating?& What are your other issues? | 2007-07-14 17:47:18 |
| 673 | 4402 | No, they shake the minute I touch myself. My other issues happens to be with, feeling the need to pee. But its usually more in the middle, its not in the beginning. I don't know how to describe it. But it's that urge, but I tend to stop then, lol...I figured I got it down with that, as in controlling that. lol. Guess not! I usually tend to try and ignore it, but it doesn't always help. | 2007-07-14 18:01:56 |
| 673 | 4409 | Ah, feeling the need to pee is very common with orgasm and women often try to stop then in fear that they will actually pee and this stops them from experiencing orgasm. If I was you, I wouldn't try to stop when you feel that, It you are worried, put a towel under you are don't even worry if you are in the bath/shower. You won't actually pee but you could experience female ejaculation and there isn't usually a massive amount of fluid& comes out...not like when you urinate. | 2007-07-15 07:37:01 |
| 673 | 4412 | The feeling of needing to urinate is very common, and has been addressed in the Q&A section of the website. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_arousal.htm#sensi The shaking may result if you are uncomfortable with the idea of masturbating and are not able to relax. Try taking a warm shower or bath and work on relaxing prior to masturbating. Take deep breaths, etc. Also get yourself sexually aroused through mental stimulation before stimulating your nipples and vulva. When you are aroused, experience blood engorgement of your vulva and vaginal lubrication, stimulate areas around your nipples and vulva first, so the stimulation isn't too intense to begin with. You will find additional information on the website. Brad | 2007-07-15 12:18:05 |
| 673 | 4421 | Well, I appreciate the help, but I don't have the issue with "getting horny" before so to speak. I guess, in general, i still have to try and deal with my bodies responses. As much as I dislike em, lol, i'd prefer i didn't have em. | 2007-07-15 16:48:57 |
| 673 | 4440 | Sorry, I had another question, but I figured I could just place it into the same topic. Is your..clitoris..growing bigger just another form of arousal or what does that mean? I mean, mine went bigger than a cherry, is the best way that I could describe it. I've tried to masturbate now for about 4 times, as in truly, and each time I found something new and it made me stop. Anyway, I'd appreciate it. Thanks. | 2007-07-17 20:29:41 |
| 673 | 4442 | Yes, that is absolutely normal.& Physiologically, the only difference between a penis and a clitoris is the fact that the urethra runs through the center of the penis, but not the clitoris.& Also, there are obvious size differences, but basically the two organs work the same way when aroused. | 2007-07-17 23:29:18 |
| 673 | 4457 | Which is why you have the difference in sizes, correct? But, then, is a female with a bigger one more sensitive or is one with a smaller one? | 2007-07-19 14:21:38 |
| 673 | 4460 | a bigger one isn't inherently more sensitive.& the thing is that when they are smaller than a certain size, they are concealed by the tissue surrounding the clitoris, even when aroused and swollen, so they can be harder to stimulate because it is like having padding wrapped around it.& but even then, clitoral sensitivity depends on the amount of nerve endings in the clitoris, and that is determined simply by genetics, not size.& | 2007-07-19 14:47:19 |
| 673 | 4464 | I see, so then whats legs shaking? That from genetics or what? | 2007-07-19 19:53:31 |
| 673 | 4465 | The clitoris is reported to have more nerve endings than the penis, but I haven't found the medical article that made the initial claim. In the book The Clitoral Truth it says: "The female glans, however, has one surprising and exhilarating difference. It holds between 6,000 and 8,00 sensory nerve endings, more than any other structure in the human body - male or female - and by one estimate about four times as many as in the glans of the penis." Given that both the clitoris and penis develop from the same fetal structure I don't know how this is possible, unless androgens in male fetuses suppressed nerve development, which seems unlikely to me. If the penile and clitoral glans have the same number of nerve endings they will be much closer together in the clitoris resulting in much more sensitive organ, though some women report their clitoris isn't sensitive to stimulation. Brad | 2007-07-19 19:59:33 |
| 673 | 4466 | Well, could it play into part that females have more nerve receptors then men? | 2007-07-19 20:07:17 |
| 673 | 4468 | I think the figures about nerve receptors are talking about density.& if the penis and clitoris have the same number of receptors, and the clitoris is 4 times smaller than the penis (at least), then it would be 4 times more dense in terms of receptor distribution. | 2007-07-19 20:30:58 |
| 673 | 4470 | I guess..No one has the perfect body, lol, we all have our issues some place. If not there then psychologically LOL. | 2007-07-20 00:39:53 |
| 673 | 4474 | having denser nerve receptors isn't an "issue", it's just a difference between genders. | 2007-07-20 01:28:53 |
| 673 | 4504 | I was hoping if maybe, someone could be a "solution helper" In other words, females or males who for that matter..Is there a way to not, ejaculate as much? lol, I haven't been able to find out any solution for it! | 2007-07-21 17:46:59 |
| 673 | 4505 | Ah, like with the leg shaking and everything else, I think you are wasting too much time trying to stop this and that happening and wondering what future male partners and such might think of these things. These things are just part of sexualiy and you cannot change them and shouldn't waste too much time trying to find ways to change them otherwise you'll never be happy and if you aren't happy, then you're more likely to have issues with future male partners and it will be your fears about these aspects that cause problems, not the aspects themselves. If it aint broke, don't fix it!!! | 2007-07-22 09:54:25 |
| 673 | 4506 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Ah, like with the leg shaking and everything else, I think you are wasting too much time trying to stop this and that happening and wondering what future male partners and such might think of these things. These things are just part of sexualiy and you cannot change them and shouldn't waste too much time trying to find ways to change them otherwise you'll never be happy and if you aren't happy, then you're more likely to have issues with future male partners and it will be your fears about these aspects that cause problems, not the aspects themselves. If it aint broke, don't fix it!!! " I'm not trying to "fix it" I'm trying to deal with it. lol. I was just wondering if someone knew how to make less. So you don't soak your whole bed. | 2007-07-22 13:10:35 |
| 673 | 4507 | The only thing I know of is that people will put a towel or something under them before they start getting sexual so thats it's there when they need it...rather than wait until the fireworks are about to go off. & | 2007-07-22 14:06:36 |
| 673 | 4508 | As I've mentioned before, the amount of lubrication is (at least partly) dependant on your level of arousal, which is in turn determined (at least partly) by your degree of sexual satisfaction.& Guys experience this sometimes as well when they go for long periods of time without sex or masturbation and they orgasm quicker with greater volume of semen than they do when they get regular release. What that means is that if your sex drive is very high, when you touch yourself you will become very wet.& By ignoring sexual urges and letting the needs sit un-dealt with, it keeps your level of arousal very high.& Like blowing a balloon very full of air, it doesn't take a lot to pop it, and when you do it blows up with a loud bang.& But if you let some of the air out of it, it doesn't pop as easily or as loudly. The solution is to lower this desire by letting "air" out of your "balloon" on a regular basis so you keep the pressure low.& By ignoring the urges, you let the pressure get high and then you have to deal with these issues you find so frustrating.& You'll have to deal with the wetness and shaking at first, but if you masturbate until you are completely satisfied, and then masturbate more frequently in the future before letting your arousal get so high, you will have less wetness to deal with.& Obviously this won't stop the wetness completely, but I think it ought to help reduce it somewhat. | 2007-07-22 14:10:36 |
| 673 | 4509 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "The only thing I know of is that people will put a towel or something under them before they start getting sexual so thats it's there when they need it...rather than wait until the fireworks are about to go off. & " Yeah, I've already done that twice. Towels don't help much, lol. Not even 3, folded twice each. | 2007-07-22 14:20:58 |
| 673 | 4510 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "As I've mentioned before, the amount of lubrication is (at least partly) dependant on your level of arousal, which is in turn determined (at least partly) by your degree of sexual satisfaction.& Guys experience this sometimes as well when they go for long periods of time without sex or masturbation and they orgasm quicker with greater volume of semen than they do when they get regular release. What that means is that if your sex drive is very high, when you touch yourself you will become very wet.& By ignoring sexual urges and letting the needs sit un-dealt with, it keeps your level of arousal very high.& Like blowing a balloon very full of air, it doesn't take a lot to pop it, and when you do it blows up with a loud bang.& But if you let some of the air out of it, it doesn't pop as easily or as loudly. The solution is to lower this desire by letting "air" out of your "balloon" on a regular basis so you keep the pressure low.& By ignoring the urges, you let the pressure get high and then you have to deal with these issues you find so frustrating.& You'll have to deal with the wetness and shaking at first, but if you masturbate until you are completely satisfied, and then masturbate more frequently in the future before letting your arousal get so high, you will have less wetness to deal with.& Obviously this won't stop the wetness completely, but I think it ought to help reduce it somewhat. " I can't, I can only USE so many towels. I can't do it every single day, lol. | 2007-07-22 14:22:54 |
| 673 | 4511 | what I'm saying is, if you do it until you can't go any more the first time, you won't want to do it as bad the next time if you don't wait until you can't sit still to do something about it.& if you do it when you start feeling the urge instead of waiting a few days and fighting it, you won't have to deal with the issue as much. to use that balloon analogy again.& if you let the balloon get full to where it is about to break, you have to let a lot of air out of it the first time.& then, as it starts to get full again, if you wait until it is about to burst before letting the air out, you'll have to let out a lot of air again.& but if you let the air out more often, before you let it get to the bursting point, each time you let it out, you won't have to let out as much air. | 2007-07-22 14:32:14 |
| 673 | 4512 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "what I'm saying is, if you do it until you can't go any more the first time, you won't want to do it as bad the next time if you don't wait until you can't sit still to do something about it.& if you do it when you start feeling the urge instead of waiting a few days and fighting it, you won't have to deal with the issue as much. to use that balloon analogy again.& if you let the balloon get full to where it is about to break, you have to let a lot of air out of it the first time.& then, as it starts to get full again, if you wait until it is about to burst before letting the air out, you'll have to let out a lot of air again.& but if you let the air out more often, before you let it get to the bursting point, each time you let it out, you won't have to let out as much air. " Yeah, but see, I've masturbated twice now fully that is. There was maybe a day and a half in between it, it was still the same amount. | 2007-07-22 14:45:40 |
| 673 | 4513 | but did you let all the "air" out of the "balloon"?& having an orgasm doesn't mean you let all the air out.& some women need lots of orgasms to get it all out.& you don't know how many until you get to that point where you just don't want to do it any more. | 2007-07-22 14:49:17 |
| 673 | 4514 | How many orgasms can some women get, in one day? | 2007-07-22 15:02:27 |
| 673 | 4515 | Well, I generally do need a lot. One is NEVER enough for me. I'd go insane without having more. I don't generally count but did on a few occasions just out of curiosity. I had 21 on the first, 15 on the second and 26 on the third session and then I couldn't be arsed to count again after that. This was all within an hour or less. I can have several per minute. If I had more time, I could have more....and I may have had more on other occasions where I didn't count. I have noticed that if I ejaculate, it is usually on the second, third of fourth orgasm rather than the first but I don't lose that much to be honest. I get a lot more of the usual lube fluid which makes more mess. I also often use orgasm to get to sleep and can do this even if I'm not really horny and just want to get to sleep. Only takes a few minutes but, even then, I have to have several before I feel satisfied. I think Princess who used to post on here said the record was about 100 orgasms in an hour.... | 2007-07-22 15:35:21 |
| 673 | 4516 | canis' numbers aren't uncommon.& I've talked to other women who may have 10 to 20 in a sitting.& I used to know a girl who would have that many in a session, and would do it 2 or 3 times a day when she was first learning about masturbation.& She was home-schooled, so she had a lot of private time haha.& Other women can only have one or two in a day before they lose interest. | 2007-07-22 15:53:04 |
| 673 | 4517 | Why can other women only have 1 or two?? | 2007-07-22 16:24:07 |
| 673 | 4518 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Well, I generally do need a lot. One is NEVER enough for me. I'd go insane without having more. I don't generally count but did on a few occasions just out of curiosity. I had 21 on the first, 15 on the second and 26 on the third session and then I couldn't be arsed to count again after that. This was all within an hour or less. I can have several per minute. If I had more time, I could have more....and I may have had more on other occasions where I didn't count. I have noticed that if I ejaculate, it is usually on the second, third of fourth orgasm rather than the first but I don't lose that much to be honest. I get a lot more of the usual lube fluid which makes more mess. I also often use orgasm to get to sleep and can do this even if I'm not really horny and just want to get to sleep. Only takes a few minutes but, even then, I have to have several before I feel satisfied. I think Princess who used to post on here said the record was about 100 orgasms in an hour.... " May I ask, how you deal with "clean up" or how you prepare for it? | 2007-07-22 16:25:51 |
| 673 | 4519 | [user=2247]DeutschesMaedchen[/user] wrote: "Why can other women only have 1 or two??" because that is how their body is.& sometimes for women, they have to masturbate for a long time to have one orgasm and it tires them, for others it's just enough.& but you haven't got to that point of satisfaction.& when you do, you just get to that point where your body doesn't tell you that it wants more orgasms and you aren't interested in sex for the moment. | 2007-07-22 16:41:16 |
| 673 | 4520 | I don't really prepare...lol. Some women do, some don't. The towel thing is generally one that is suggested to those who worry about the mess and the wet patch. If there is some mess to be made, I mop it up with tissue or whatever, give it a wipe with a damp cloth and it dries on it's own and change bed sheets regularly. A lot of the time, it sort of just stays on my body...depending on my position...then it's just a case of mopping myself up...like when you use the loo. | 2007-07-22 17:02:44 |
| 673 | 4521 | Well, I create a "puddle" lol, towels don't even work for me. 3 don't even work, folded twice. I figured you had a better solution! lol | 2007-07-22 18:17:12 |
| 673 | 4522 | The solution is to do it where it is easier to clean up.& Look at this survey and see all the different places women find to masturbate.& I know your bed is cozy, but there are so many other options. www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3718878344 and look at these other two surveys to see what other women experienced with masturbation as well www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3879226931 www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3594626605 this survey may also be informative about the broad range of experiences women have www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3594626605 | 2007-07-22 18:42:20 |
| 673 | 4523 | Hi, We sell Luv Linen, as& they are absorbant and have a water proof backing. You could check with your local baby supply store to see if they have a similiar item. They also sell hospital mattress pads that are absorbent and disposable. The other option is simply to masturbate in the tub or shower, or even outside in a private place. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] Brad | 2007-07-22 19:28:27 |
| 673 | 4524 | Well, I appreciate it, but I can't do it on any cloth. lol, and how do you exactly state why you're using so many towels?? lol. | 2007-07-22 19:44:37 |
| 673 | 4525 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, We sell Luv Linen, as& they are absorbant and have a water proof backing. You could check with your local baby supply store to see if they have a similiar item. They also sell hospital mattress pads that are absorbent and disposable. The other option is simply to masturbate in the tub or shower, or even outside in a private place. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] Brad " Outside is out of the question, lol. I'd have to take a pillow with my for outside, and how do you explain a female walking outside trying to find a "spot" lol with a pillow. I'd have sex, as in intercourse outside but houses 3 house can see our property quite easily even though 4 acres between! | 2007-07-22 19:46:19 |
| 673 | 4526 | if you want to do it outside, try sneaking outside at night, nobody will see you then. | 2007-07-22 19:51:01 |
| 673 | 4529 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "if you want to do it outside, try sneaking outside at night, nobody will see you then. " lol, Yeah. It's a smart solution, except..one of my fears is the dark. lol. Pretty sad, but true. The dark and scary movies with dead people in it! lol. | 2007-07-22 21:01:26 |
| 673 | 4530 | perhaps it is a good way to confront your fears of the dark at the same time. | 2007-07-22 21:03:02 |
| 673 | 4532 | lol, that's okay. I'll figure someplace else out, I guess. | 2007-07-22 21:15:59 |
| 673 | 4535 | Sorry, if I restate this. Let me get it straight, legs shaking means arousal which in a sense means your close to orgasm?? Or could it mean something else? I'm a little slow right now in processing, lol. | 2007-07-23 01:52:25 |
| 673 | 4536 | If your legs are shaking, it means you are doing something right and should keep doing it. | 2007-07-23 02:04:17 |
| 673 | 4541 | Hi, You could try placing a sanitary napkin or folded wash cloth in your underwear and then go find something outside to rub against. With a short dress and nothing on underneath you would sit or stand in plain sight and no one would know you were up to with the right body posture. I have seen women sitting in public while swinging or rocking their crossed legs, perhaps believing no one would guess what they were up to.& :shock: Tight jeans and this technique may work. With 4 acres of land I would hope there is a bush or tree that you could hide behind even in the day.& Even tall grass would hide you if you are laying down. You could create a pillow out of plastic bags you get at the store. Or place rags in a plastic bag. Do you have lawn furniture with cushions, or a boat or camper with cushions? It sounds like you need to accept the feelings you are experiencing rather than trying to be how you expect every one else to be.& Reading through the shared masturbation techniques and experiences should provide an indication of what others do and experience. Brad | 2007-07-23 13:00:46 |
| 673 | 4543 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, You could try placing a sanitary napkin or folded wash cloth in your underwear and then go find something outside to rub against. With a short dress and nothing on underneath you would sit or stand in plain sight and no one would know you were up to with the right body posture. I have seen women sitting in public while swinging or rocking their crossed legs, perhaps believing no one would guess what they were up to.& :shock: Tight jeans and this technique may work. With 4 acres of land I would hope there is a bush or tree that you could hide behind even in the day.& Even tall grass would hide you if you are laying down. You could create a pillow out of plastic bags you get at the store. Or place rags in a plastic bag. Do you have lawn furniture with cushions, or a boat or camper with cushions? It sounds like you need to accept the feelings you are experiencing rather than trying to be how you expect every one else to be.& Reading through the shared masturbation techniques and experiences should provide an indication of what others do and experience. Brad " lol, Thank you. There definitley are a great deal of bushes/trees here. lol, just hope I don't walk into poison oak. Haven't figured it quite out yet since living in the US. Yeah, we do have "lawn" furniture. But you can't really take it with you, lol. House has huge windows and lots of em, lol. I'm not trying to be like everyone else, I'm merely still learning about everything. It's been 13 days technically since I started, lol, it was a couple days ago I was told what a "g spot" is. Didn't even know that let alone females could ejaculate! lol. | 2007-07-23 13:46:57 |
| 673 | 4545 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, You could try placing a sanitary napkin or folded wash cloth in your underwear and then go find something outside to rub against. With a short dress and nothing on underneath you would sit or stand in plain sight and no one would know you were up to with the right body posture. I have seen women sitting in public while swinging or rocking their crossed legs, perhaps believing no one would guess what they were up to.& :shock: Tight jeans and this technique may work. With 4 acres of land I would hope there is a bush or tree that you could hide behind even in the day.& Even tall grass would hide you if you are laying down. You could create a pillow out of plastic bags you get at the store. Or place rags in a plastic bag. Do you have lawn furniture with cushions, or a boat or camper with cushions? It sounds like you need to accept the feelings you are experiencing rather than trying to be how you expect every one else to be.& Reading through the shared masturbation techniques and experiences should provide an indication of what others do and experience. Brad " Hey, lol. I forgot to state to you, i think you know TOO much about sex. lol.& You're pretty observant then, lol. I can't look at the masturbation experiences, no thanks. | 2007-07-23 16:58:01 |
| 673 | 4546 | en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Poison-oak | 2007-07-23 18:35:51 |
| 673 | 4547 | lol, appreciate it, but it won't help. I've seen poison oak, i've had it, but I just can't ever remember if it is it. | 2007-07-23 18:39:59 |
| 673 | 4552 | Question again, lol, sorry... & Can some orgasms be shorter or longer than others?? | 2007-07-24 16:30:04 |
| 673 | 4553 | yes they can.& I think one of the questions in one of those surveys I posted asked about the duration of orgasms. EDIT: this survey, about 1/3 of the way down, is the question about orgasm duration www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3718878344 | 2007-07-24 16:35:01 |
| 673 | 4554 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "yes they can.& I think one of the questions in one of those surveys I posted asked about the duration of orgasms. EDIT: this survey, about 1/3 of the way down, is the question about orgasm duration [url=www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3718878344] www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3718878344 " Well, I appreciate it. But can you have different "times" for an orgasm?? Or is it usually the same? | 2007-07-24 17:27:41 |
| 673 | 4559 | Is there such a thing as having TOO many orgasms?? lol. | 2007-07-25 15:12:31 |
| 673 | 4560 | depends on who you ask. :D most people in their right mind would say no. haha | 2007-07-25 15:15:18 |
| 673 | 4561 | So technically, there never is a "stopping point" until your body says so. That's just great, lol. | 2007-07-25 17:57:02 |
| 673 | 4562 | well, the serious answer is that as long as it isn't negatively affecting other important parts of your life (in a significant manner), you should do it as often as makes you happy.& | 2007-07-25 18:13:25 |
| 673 | 4564 | Okay, can orgasms go& up after the next day? As in, you have a lot one day, do they usually go up the next day? I thought they went down, lol. Not up. Why does it increase?? | 2007-07-26 14:59:57 |
| 673 | 4565 | there isn't a pattern like that really, it just depends on how horny you are. | 2007-07-26 15:01:28 |
| 673 | 4566 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "there isn't a pattern like that really, it just depends on how horny you are. " Well, why isn't there a pattern? lol, I thought if you did aka masturbation, the next day there is LESS. Not more. | 2007-07-26 15:02:19 |
| 673 | 4567 | it's less about individual instances and more about keeping your libido down at a manageable level. | 2007-07-26 16:30:51 |
| 673 | 4568 | Some women in your age group have reported their sex drive sky rocketed, rather than during early puberty, as people usually expect. Others report that once they start masturbating it is like they have broken a damn on their sexual energy and it just takes over. As result, they can't seem to masturbate or have partnered sex enough. As long as you aren't getting sore, which using a lubricant may cure, and can do the other things your daily life requires, going to school or work, eat, sleep, bathe, don't worry about how often. It is ok to need private time. If it feels good, it isn't bad for you. Brad | 2007-07-26 16:42:35 |
| 673 | 4569 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Some women in your age group have reported their sex drive sky rocketed, rather than during early puberty, as people usually expect. Others report that once they start masturbating it is like they have broken a damn on their sexual energy and it just takes over. As result, they can't seem to masturbate or have partnered sex enough. As long as you aren't getting sore, which using a lubricant may cure, and can do the other things your daily life requires, going to school or work, eat, sleep, bathe, don't worry about how often. It is ok to need private time. If it feels good, it isn't bad for you. Brad " Well, appreciate it. lol. Believe me though, lubricating as you guys call it, isn't my issue. I was just wondering about it, I recalled yesterday I masturbated once at 15, but if I recollect I stopped because I didn't know what the heck that stuff aka "the wet stuff". But, that was 4 years after I hit puberty, at 11 was when I hit it. Just wondering if it's fine, I figured it would go down, you "calmned" it, so to speak. Short to say, I was hoping I'd stop at 15..orgasms..but, lol, mine number is that multiplied by 6 pretty much. And, my body still wants more, reason I asked. Anyway, appreciate it both Brad and Dfs. | 2007-07-26 17:35:03 |
| 673 | 4570 | In my article about androgens, the sex drive hormones, I mention how they don't peak until a woman is in her twenties to thirties, which may explain the delayed onset of desire some women experience. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/androgens.htm Brad | 2007-07-26 18:32:54 |
| 673 | 4592 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "there isn't a pattern like that really, it just depends on how horny you are. " Odd question to ask, but when does one really stop feeling "horny?" Is it wrong to feel horny the minute you wake up to the point pretty much until you fall asleep..Regardless if you've masturbated? lol, I don't really get it. You guys seem to understand this department better than I do, I'd appreciate it. | 2007-07-30 22:22:08 |
| 673 | 4643 | DM The point of masturbation is to make yourself feel good, learn about your body and what your preferences are. It's similar to music, art or creativity in general: don't think too much about it and just do what feels right. I understand you're new to this and perhaps you feel as though there are things you don't know since you started later than others. The truth is that no one really knows how things work or why certain these things happen when we start masturbating. Part of this is a result of our culture and fears; the sense of guilt that we are doing something wrong, that our parents or siblings will find out, or that a doctor will see our genitals and will know that we have been masturbating. One advantage of starting as a child and growing up having done it all our lives is that in spite of all I mentioned above, we don't try to analyze ourselves and just do it. When we become adolescents and adults, hopefully, many of those questions and fears are resolved. My advice to you is to not worry about it, just relax and enjoy the experience. Make yourself feel good. As for what a prospective sexual partner thinks about your idiosyncrasies? We all have them. Men fear not knowing what to do, being thought of as a bad lover or inadequate. My experiences have also lead me to conclude is that women, in general, are very self-conscious about the body smells, excretions and just letting go and being themselves. They don’t want to be seen as un-lady like, too aggressive or masculine. Similar to why some girls don’t want to appear intelligent in early adolescence. | 2007-08-12 09:57:50 |
| 673 | 4648 | [user=2644]Drew[/user] wrote: "DM The point of masturbation is to make yourself feel good, learn about your body and what your preferences are. It's similar to music, art or creativity in general: don't think too much about it and just do what feels right. I understand you're new to this and perhaps you feel as though there are things you don't know since you started later than others. The truth is that no one really knows how things work or why certain these things happen when we start masturbating. Part of this is a result of our culture and fears; the sense of guilt that we are doing something wrong, that our parents or siblings will find out, or that a doctor will see our genitals and will know that we have been masturbating. One advantage of starting as a child and growing up having done it all our lives is that in spite of all I mentioned above, we don't try to analyze ourselves and just do it. When we become adolescents and adults, hopefully, many of those questions and fears are resolved. My advice to you is to not worry about it, just relax and enjoy the experience. Make yourself feel good. As for what a prospective sexual partner thinks about your idiosyncrasies? We all have them. Men fear not knowing what to do, being thought of as a bad lover or inadequate. My experiences have also lead me to conclude is that women, in general, are very self-conscious about the body smells, excretions and just letting go and being themselves. They don’t want to be seen as un-lady like, too aggressive or masculine. Similar to why some girls don’t want to appear intelligent in early adolescence. " Well, thank you, I appreciate it. I've only been doing this for about a month now, so yes, I'm still learning. | 2007-08-12 13:24:40 |
| 674 | 4341 | Hey everyone Just wanted to ask something, does anyone have flat nipples? and what do they do during sex? is it off-putting for their partners?!! :s | 2007-07-11 18:30:28 |
| 674 | 4372 | Well, I don't have "flat nipples". I didn't know that is possible. I don't really know that much about them, other than the fact that nipples go out when they are hard. I believe there are some females it goes out 1 3/4 of an inch, when they are hard that is. I know that didn't really answer your question, but I don't know. lol. | 2007-07-12 17:57:34 |
| 674 | 4394 | Thanks for the reply Anybody else has any idea please? | 2007-07-13 19:41:22 |
| 674 | 4395 | You can check out Nipplettes, created to correct inverted nipples. www.aventamerica.com/products/breastfeeding/breastfeeding_niplette.asp There is some talk about them on some discussion forums, as you can see in thie Google search: www.google.com/search?q=nipplette Brad | 2007-07-13 20:42:11 |
| 675 | 4358 | I've recently while going through Wikipedia articles found something about tribadism (female genital to genital contact). And it said something about women using strap on dildos and vibrators on each other but it also mentioned that they could also use an enlarged clitoris. Just a few questions, can a woman's clitoris really grow an inch or more out like a penis when a woman is aroused? Could this also be used to penetrate a man? | 2007-07-11 23:05:38 |
| 675 | 4360 | yes, although its not all that common.& some of the longest known clitorises have slightly exceded 3 inches while engorged, but those are quite rare. | 2007-07-11 23:13:10 |
| 675 | 4361 | Oh so does it really look like a penis? And hypothetically if two lesbians were sleeping together and one had a 3" inch clitoris could the other recieve not just vaginal sex but recieve anal sex? Or give give the other lady oral pleasure by sucking on the clitoris? Basically mimicking straight sex? | 2007-07-11 23:48:08 |
| 675 | 4362 | in a matter of speaking, yes.& it doesn't perfectly resemble a penis, but it does get hard and can be used for limited penetration.& I would assume it would be better for grinding rather than thrusting, though. | 2007-07-11 23:53:34 |
| 678 | 4398 | Can a virgin have a sex drive? | 2007-07-14 16:50:39 |
| 678 | 4403 | Why shouldn't we? I mean people don't just start out and state, I'm going to have sex today and go at it. lol. I don't think children have it, but at a very young age, all of us have started touching ourselves. We learn later on what it means, but I definitley think we do. At least, that's my opinion, lol but I am also a virgin. So, depends on who is stating that answer. Then again, each person has a different perspective of "sex drive". I think you start with it and progress with it, if that makes any sense! lol. | 2007-07-14 19:04:13 |
| 678 | 4408 | Children touch themselves simply because it feels good physically& and they have that natural curiosity to find out about their bodies. It isn't until puberty that an actual sex drive develops because that comes with the hormones. I have a sex drive and I can be really horny sometimes, especially during and just after my period. There is such a thing as DIY, you don't need a partner and IC to relieve the urge. | 2007-07-15 07:33:39 |
| 678 | 4411 | Hi, Our sex drive, if we experience it, is the result of hormones within our bodies. These hormones start to increase in level between the ages of 6 and 10 in girls.& You can read more about this in the article linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/androgens.htm There are also non-sexual motives that compel us to engage in sex, i.e. love and partner's wishes. Innate, or a hormonally based, sex drive in women is often not acknowledged, as they are more often perceived as maternal rather than sexual. Brad | 2007-07-15 12:11:22 |
| 678 | 4444 | our bodies was made to function in a certain way, if men did not have a natuaral desire or drive for the opposite sex we would become exstinct, and you dont need a sex drive to have sex, but it will certainly help and make it a lot more fun.:) | 2007-07-18 04:06:00 |
| 678 | 4499 | You may want to read the commentary that "Ticked Off Virgin" submitted to the website linked to below. It is the 7th shared experience down. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/experie3.htm Brad | 2007-07-21 10:59:19 |
| 679 | 4399 | I've done some research the net in the past year and it turns out at ages 22 and 23 I'm not the only "old virgin" out there. I'm not waiting for marriage, I do care about commitment, it's just for some reason I got the idea from my family (who at times I considered very hypocritical) that having relationships were somehow wrong and I have trouble loosening myself up to relationships and such :( & However, I'm curious, if someone seems rigid is that a turn off to most men. What about male virgins to women? | 2007-07-14 16:58:13 |
| 679 | 4404 | And also when I did my research, I found that people knew others who were 30 year old virgins, 40 year old virgins (it's not just movie) and all the way up to an 86 year old virgin (and these weren't nuns, and priests, they were I guess normal people who were business owners, people who didn't marry until they were in their 30s and 40s), and even my neighbor said the oldest virgin in the Guiness Book of World Record was a woman who died at 94 years of age :shock: & Hopefully within 3-5 years I'll lose it :D& I'm giving myself by the time I'm 30-40 to get married and have a child but hopefully soon I can find someone. | 2007-07-14 19:31:54 |
| 679 | 4407 | Join the club but& I am older than you. I am a virgin because of vaginismus which prevents me from having IC. I'd have to cure that and resolve my other related issues before I could think about losing mine. I also worry about how guys will react to my vag and other issues which is why I adopted the avoidance attitude. | 2007-07-15 07:30:39 |
| 679 | 4410 | im a 45 year male married 25 years one partner only, there is nothing wrong if you wait, both my daughter and her husband were virgins got married and lost it 2 gether, beautiful exsperience to cherrish | 2007-07-15 07:54:37 |
| 679 | 4414 | Join the club but& I am older than you. I am a virgin because of vaginismus which prevents me from having IC. I'd have to cure that and resolve my other related issues before I could think about losing mine. I also worry about how guys will react to my vag and other issues which is why I adopted the avoidance attitude. & My I ask, what is IC? | 2007-07-15 12:21:27 |
| 679 | 4415 | People have varying degrees of sexual interest and desire. As important as sex is in a relationship, too much emphasis can be placed on it. In American culture, people may expect couples in their twenties to be having sex, if they are dating or married. Many couples may be having sex because of this expectation rather than because they truly want to, or should. An older female virgin may be considered more marriage material than dating material. If a guy isn't interested in marriage but wants sex then a virgin who wants to remain a virgin isn't going to appeal to him. Women may wonder what is wrong with a guy in his twenties who is a virgin, though on some level they may want to marry a virgin or be a guy's first. Girls may want guys to have some degree of experience, as they don't know what their wants are or how to fulfill them if they do know. Couples who aren't engaging in intercourse may be reluctant to admit to this fact. We may presume that if a couple has been dating for a while or lives together they are having sex and intercourse, which isn't always true. A couple I know were together for six years yet never engage in intercourse, though they lived together for several years. Most people thought this odd, without knowing why. Brad | 2007-07-15 12:34:06 |
| 679 | 4416 | IC = intercourse:) | 2007-07-15 12:49:36 |
| 679 | 4417 | vaginismus & Sorry actually I meant this word | 2007-07-15 12:52:38 |
| 679 | 4419 | www.vaginismus-awareness-network.org/ | 2007-07-15 12:58:53 |
| 679 | 4443 | to PrincessKLS, sexuality starts in the brain, the fact that you are searching for answers is good cause knowledge is power. Sex can& put a relationship under tremendeous pressure, so dont just do it for the sake of it. You must stay in control and be incharge of your body and feelings.The partner that you meet must know from the outset your views and feelings. If they love you and walk that road with you, and when it happens it will be an exsperience to cherish for ever. Dont worry about horney guys and their oppions about virgins, you set the pace. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING TO WAIT! | 2007-07-18 03:57:42 |
| 681 | 4431 | I used to be on Lexapro, an anti-depressant, until it stopped working and I had a major breakdown while& I was on it. I quit taking any form of anti-depressant about two years ago. It's been a rough journey, but I've made it this far. I started taking birth control seven months ago. People warned me that it made them break down in tears and extremely crabby two weeks into taking it. I'd already been taking it for two months at the time with no problems, so I just took it as the pill didn't go with their own body chemistry. Now, since late January, when I started taking the pill and lost my virginity, I've really enjoyed sex.& My boyfriend and I joke that he couldn't keep up with me because I wanted it all the time! Over the past two weeks or so, I've basically lost interest. I mean, I cried last night when we started getting intimate because I simply did not feel aroused at all and I used to love it. The night before that we foreplayed but I didn't enjoy that as much as I usually do either.& I used to like giving him head, and now the thought of it isn't quite as exciting. In fact, it doesn't sound pleasurable at all. I know it's not because I don't like him like I did. I LOVE him. Maybe some people will say because sex isn't as new anymore and I've simply grown used to it, but it's not that either. Because how I've felt the last few times is completely indifferent about sex. It seemed more like work than sex. I told him that maybe we needed to spice things up a bit the night after we foreplayed, but he tries his hardest and I still can't get interested. I don't even get excited about masturbating anymore, which I used to love. I guess what I'm getting at is can the pill affect you after seven months if it didn't have any major affect on you before that? I have an appointment at the clinic tomorrow for a pap so should I tell them how I've been feeling and see if maybe I should switch BCs? Or is this just an old problem recurring that I need to get anti-depressants for? I mean, these are all superman questions that none of you can probably answer, but any advice would be very much appreciated. & BTW- I am taking Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo | 2007-07-16 10:10:49 |
| 681 | 4432 | well, the simple solution is to go off the pill and see what happens.& arousal is hormone-dependant, and the pill alters your hormones to prevent pregnancy.& if you do that, you should obviously adjust your sex practices to be safe. | 2007-07-16 13:55:02 |
| 681 | 4434 | I also want to add that it's not just my sex drive that seems to be suffering. I am feeling really down in all aspects of my life. :( But I know that the pill can cause depression in some women. I am on the pill, we always use condems, and most of the time he pulls out as well. But I'm afraid if I wasn't on the pill, I'd be extremely paranoid about getting pregnant. It's not that I "couldn't handle" it right now, it's just that I don't want to, but I do want to continue having sex. Maybe talking& to my doctor and simply switching types of BC would work? | 2007-07-16 14:17:15 |
| 681 | 4435 | There are lots of different pills and you should speak to your doc about trying another one. Explain the problems you suspect your current one might be causing and he/she will come up with another you can try instead. There is always a pill to suit each person, it is just a case of finding it. I'm on the pill and I still have a usual sex drive. In fact, at certain times of the month, I can be like a horny beast. I suffer from depression but have had that since my teens anyway which is well before I went on the pill and the pill made no difference to it. | 2007-07-16 14:24:48 |
| 681 | 4436 | yes, absolutely talk to your doctor.& and if you are concerned about pregnancy if you go off the pill, you can restrict yourself to oral sex until you find an alternative. | 2007-07-16 14:25:56 |
| 681 | 4437 | Hi, It may be too soon to know the cause, as you are picking two weeks out of a seven month period of time. You have to consider what has changed more recently that may cause the depession and decreased sexual desire. Are you under greater stress or experiencing changes within your life and relationship? At first glance I would "guess" the Pill is not the cause of your problem. Brad | 2007-07-16 16:16:59 |
| 681 | 4438 | To be honest, oral doesn't do much for me and I still haven't managed to make my bf cum from oral. I don't think the pill is causing my problems either, actually. It was my mom who brought it up. My entire life I've been off and on with depression, so maybe it's just gotten more intensified over the last few weeks because of something else. Like I told my mom, it doesn't seem like the pill would be the cause if I've been on it for 7 months with no problems. I couldn't be happier with our relationship, so that can't be the cause of it. Canis- Except for recently, the pill didn't change my sexual desire and like you said, most of the time I was a horny beast and probably drove my boyfriend nuts. ;) For the past few weeks I have been in a job that I HATE and only worked at because I needed the money and that added a lot of stress. I just got a new job that I like so far, so maybe things are beginning to look up. And I don't know if this has anything to do with, but my best friend that I've known since the 8th grade went on vacation to France this summer. We have very open communication and we help each other with everything. I know I really miss her as she lives right next to me and now I don't have that same person to talk to or vent to. I think that may actually have impacted me as well. | 2007-07-16 21:30:07 |
| 682 | 4441 | Greetings...Zarzax 333 here.& New to group.& I'll be turning 42 in five days.& Since 1996, I had something too good to be true: a real bona fide love with a guy 12 years younger, who met my weird narrow physical attraction standards (I can't even feel sexual about guys without long hair and no beards, and it's terribly shallow and narrow minded but can't seem to change it).& This relationship was a rare connexion with someone who fulfilled me, sexually, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, all in the same package; so many people I know find a bit of this in one guy, bit of that in another but not everything they wanted in one person. When we got together he was 18 and I was 31.& I initiated him out of virginity, although he sure didn't make it like some awkward virgin, it was as if he knew where everything was and what it did.& He'd& been isolated, homeschooled, had no social life to speak of, so I was a godsend to him.& And so we worshiped one another. Time passed, the oxytocin wore off, as always.& The young man he was naturally wanted to get some variety.& I'd been very active before him, and approved of his polyamory, but had no urges towards other lovers myself - I'd no reason to.& You can see where this leads already.& I became dependent on him.& Dependency is the world's worst anaphrodisiac.& A person does not want to feel responsible for the emotional state of their partner, it's an instant turn off.& So he began getting sort of obsessive about getting laid with another woman and I began wondering if after all he found my overweightness repulsive like every other guy. Well, the girl he fell in love with is just as fat as I am, she even looks a bit like me, but her temperament and interests are about as different than me as can be.& He is 29 and so is she.& They've been in mad love for 2 years now and at first what was supposed to be "sharing" (and never was) ended totally.& The reason it couldn't be sharing? In 1997 I indulged his desire for a threesome and the woman we were with, my best friend at the time, lied to us about having herpes, and while he didn't get it, I did.& The new girl in his life has never been in love, has had two partners but never had an orgasm, and has Catholic school background.& I never dreamed he'd go for such a normal girl - I'm a freakshow...into underground activities, occultish things, and have a special interest in altered states of consciousness and sex.& (It's possible to come for 30 minutes during a psychedelic voyage...and I always loved doing that SO much! Now, the flight tickets, so to speak, have not been available for years, so I've sadly had to leave my favourite "hobby" behind.) So now I am single, approaching menopause, am likely in perimenopause owing to my having been spayed (best decision of my life but menopause scares me!) And I, who could ALWAYS come, now cannot. I start to get myself off - using the usual methods - and when I hit the first plateau, my mind becomes full of emotion, nostalgia, and everything falls apart, the centre not holding whatsoever. This has gone on for a long time now, almost a year, and it doesn't help that owing to economics, I have to still live in the same house with the guy I still love but he does not love me, only feels friendship, which I am thankful for.& To keep from going crazy, I did something crazy.& I have herpes and hepatitis C.& I cannot imagine finding a partner I'd find attractive who would have me, at this age, with viruses hitchhiking, and such stupidly high standards; plus, it's important that if I HAD a partner that he shared my really weird fetishes.& Realising probability here was zero I invented an imaginary lover from another dimension,& who can take human form but is far past that.& (Occult literature calls this being a 'demon', but I've actually been its 'friend' for 24 years and have based much of my art and music on it.) When I still was having sex with D., my realworld partner, who was going online with his new girl and having textual relations, I could have sex with C., my otherworldly invisible to all but me partner, and get off quite well...but once D. curtailed all physical contact with me the emotions began interfering.& C. is working with me and we seem to be getting closer and closer to fighting our way through the painful memories, but naturally, most of my friends think this is just nuts. What I think is "just nuts" is a) consigning myself to complete asexuality, b) picking up guys I'm not even attracted to and chancing infecting them with one or both diseases - which condoms don't protect too well from.& Masturbation thinking of random guys does zilch for me and always did. You've got a GREAT site here but I see so little talk of the massively traumatic experience of partner loss - whether by death or by his or her falling in love with someone else after a long-term relationship and getting left behind, and what this can do to someone. D and G are always saying I am "overreacting".& All I do is cry and get depressed a lot, is that overreacting to one of the top items on the stress list? Only being widowed is higher on that list than being left for someone else. I'm at the end of my rope.& I want to try some new things, particularly, I have an interest in playing with electric current because I am turned on by things like mind control and electroshock.& And psychedelia, as mentioned above. Told you I had weird fetishes. ;) But this is just a post to see what other women out there who have experienced such painful rejection do when their sex drive goes south. And what DO I do about menopause--are the damn hormones safe or not? No one seems to agree... -Zarzax | 2007-07-17 23:26:14 |
| 682 | 4500 | Hi, The short answer is for you to bring an end to the relationship with D. You both have likely changed over time. You were the teacher, now the student must move on. You perhaps created him rather than finding him. He may have discovered his own identity separate from the one you created for him. You might contact a support group for persons with herpes so you have others to talk to about your feelings and frustrations. Perhaps you may even meet someone, male or female, who is already infected that arouses your interest. You might explore platonic relationships for a while, and acknowledge the loss of your libido. It may return or it may not. I don't know that anyone has addressed the subject of grieving for the loss of prior sexual desire and pleasure. I certainly don't have the knowledge base or experience to do so. The medical community and the general public is hoping for a miracle drug& that will bring all that back into a woman's life, but that isn't likely to happen any time soon. Brad | 2007-07-21 11:14:36 |
| 682 | 5309 | There are singles dating groups that cater to those with herpes and other such challenges.& Yes, you can meet someone who is challenged (health wise) as you are and just as you is desiring of a sensual and meaningful relationship! I would do a web search on that subject.& Online makes so much possible. Good luck! R | 2008-01-21 20:47:08 |
| 684 | 4456 | Hey all, I was wondering how one goes about learning to share their sexuality with another person? I'm 21 and a virgin (nice to see other virgins on the board!) for personal and religious reasons. My relationships thus far have consisted primarily of a series of bad first dates... until recently, that is. 3 weeks ago I met a 31 year old man who has opened my eyes to so many things. We get along great, he makes me laugh and appreciates me for who I am. I have told him I am waiting for marriage to have sex, and he thinks that's great. We have decided to do other stuff, and he has been really good about letting me take the lead, talking about what we're doing and sharing his feelings and experiences. However, for a lot of things he is looking to me for guidance (how to touch me, kiss me, etc.) and I really don't know what to tell him. I've masturbated for 10 years, and have never had a problem having fun by myself, but with another person it is totally different. There are a number of aspects to it- having another person in my 'personal space', experiencing for the first time what I've been fantasizing about for years (and the reality is quite different!), being nervous, wanting to pleasure him, how to comunicate in bed etc. Since I met him, I have been having a hard time masturbating, too. All my fantasies are different.... I'm not sure how or where he fits in. It's certainly exciting and fun to be discovering these things, but any advice you can give would be much appreciated. Thanks! | 2007-07-19 08:37:59 |
| 684 | 4498 | Hi, The first thing is to admit you don't know, and not having any experience with a partner means you would not know. The main thing is to go very slow. Forget that you are a 21 year old "adult" and pretend you are a young teen exploring their sexuality. As juvenile as it may sound, set limits, like first base, second base etc. I recommend that you explore giving each other massages. Explore your entire body, not just your breasts and genitals. Discover what does feel good. Learning to communicate on a sexual level is challenging. You don't need to use words, but simple moans, and single words like, yes, no, more, less, stop, etc. You can also exchange emails after the experience to describe what you like and don't like. You can also read the letters out loud to one another to get practice saying the words, and to get over the embarrassment of talking about sex. Don't try to force your partner to be a part of your sexual fantasies. If thoughts of them arouse you, go for it, but otherwise, stick with the ones that you know work. Many women find fantasizing about women most arousing so fantasies involving a male partner simply don' work. Thoughts of your partner may provide the initial arousal but not work at getting you to orgasm. Don't over think it. More is addressed in the article about engaging in vaginal intercourse for the first time, which addresses sexual development. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm Brad | 2007-07-21 10:55:22 |
| 686 | 4481 | Brad, in the old clitoris group, there was a picture of a woman who was lubricating...Do you have a link to this, as I want to show someone.....Also, why would a woman's ejaculate be thicker and stickier& than a man's? Would that mean it is cervical fluid? | 2007-07-20 19:49:06 |
| 686 | 4496 | Hi, Here is a link to the photo in question: www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img049.htm I don't believe I have heard of female ejaculation being that thick and sticky before. It does sound more like cervical mucous. If there is an unpleasant odor it could indicate an infection, or if the ejaculate is always present. Cervical fluids are addressed in the following Q&A: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_6.htm#7 Brad | 2007-07-21 10:35:14 |
| 686 | 4501 | Hi Brad, thanx, but that is definitely not the one which was on the old clitoris Yahoo group example...do you know where it could be? Also what did you mean by if the ejaculate is always present? Thanx Melissa | 2007-07-21 13:14:32 |
| 686 | 4502 | Hi, I have most of the photos from that group and I wasn't able to locate anymore like it. I meant the fluid was always present, as not only during sexual arousal and/or orgasm. Brad | 2007-07-21 13:35:25 |
| 686 | 4588 | I came across these photos today: | 2007-07-29 11:55:57 |
| 686 | 4589 | Another | 2007-07-29 11:56:31 |
| 686 | 4590 | Another | 2007-07-29 11:56:50 |
| 686 | 4635 | Hi Brad, those are not it either....(the one from the old group)...but these are cool..is there a link that I can have a non members click on to see it? Melissa | 2007-08-11 22:04:12 |
| 686 | 4640 | Non-members can see the images by visiting the forum, they just can't post messages. Brad | 2007-08-12 08:00:36 |
| 686 | 4847 | Great images, its rare to find them. I have really only seen this on a web site in the mid 90's. One image set and a short video clip. Most are always clean. | 2007-09-24 08:31:23 |
| 686 | 4848 | Indeed, great images, Brad.& I commend the stud which is very popular nowadays. Some years ago, I read an account of an English great-householder, of the newly-free 18th Century,& having his wife insert such a stud into his favourits serving-girl, much to the later& delight and pleasure of both husband and wife. The girl had been shaved, too. | 2007-09-24 18:09:17 |
| 687 | 4482 | can a guy really feel when the vagina twitches at orgasm around his penis? Does it bother him? I heard that it often causes him to ejaculate, but does this sometimes& bother him with the sensations? | 2007-07-20 19:51:27 |
| 687 | 4486 | I can't imagine any guy being bothered by it, especially if he knows that it means the woman is having an orgasm.& The contractions would feel good to most men. | 2007-07-20 22:18:58 |
| 687 | 4497 | Hi, I would guess that men tend to feel the overall tightness of the pelvic muscles during orgasm rather than the fast involuntary contractions associated with orgasm. Female orgasm may trigger male orgasm if men are aware of her overall response, her increased arousal and pleasure. The brain may trigger their orgasm rather than what their penis is experiencing. Brad | 2007-07-21 10:41:09 |
| 688 | 4483 | Am I the only one who finds that if you'be been aroused during the day that your panties literally can get drenched? Also, is you have masturbated during the day, and still have on those panties, I was wondering if it bothers any of the other women here with the stickiness and wetness..... | 2007-07-20 19:53:50 |
| 688 | 4489 | [user=130]melissa malena[/user] wrote: "Am I the only one who finds that if you'be been aroused during the day that your panties literally can get drenched? Also, is you have masturbated during the day, and still have on those panties, I was wondering if it bothers any of the other women here with the stickiness and wetness....." No, pantie wise, you aren't the only one. I deal with it as well, it kind of hard to get your mind out of the gutter sometimes though, only makes it worse! Never masturbated during the day, so can't really tell you. I've got my own issues with it though, lol. | 2007-07-20 22:41:29 |
| 688 | 4490 | so even though you don't masturbate during the daytime, I guess that being so aroused gets your panties soaked? | 2007-07-20 22:46:36 |
| 688 | 4492 | Yes, when I've worn none, its even worse. | 2007-07-20 22:58:08 |
| 688 | 4495 | Yes, I get the same problem, lol. If the wetness is too much and doesn't dry out, I just change my knickers (Panties)& and give a little wipe between the legs. That does the trick:D | 2007-07-21 10:28:59 |
| 688 | 4533 | My boyfriend laughs at how often I change my underwear because I hate wet underwear. ;) | 2007-07-22 21:21:20 |
| 688 | 4555 | please explain... | 2007-07-24 21:33:39 |
| 688 | 4556 | do you reuse them? Does your boyfriend also not like wet panties? | 2007-07-24 21:35:25 |
| 688 | 4557 | I just mean that throughout the day, he has a tendency to turn me on, so I usually change my underwear afterwards. If we get intimate and I have underwear on, I either have to take it off or change it afterwards, even if I am just going to sleep. haha, while I'm in the moment, I like wet underwear, but afterwards it's just irritating. He likes wet panties, though. ;) | 2007-07-24 21:55:54 |
| 688 | 4558 | why not take them off when you start getting intimate so you don't get them messed up? | 2007-07-24 22:22:15 |
| 688 | 4793 | [user=130]melissa malena[/user] wrote: "Am I the only one who finds that if you'be been aroused during the day that your panties literally can get drenched? Also, is you have masturbated during the day, and still have on those panties, I was wondering if it bothers any of the other women here with the stickiness and wetness....." Hi melissa and you others in this thread. My name is Antonia and Im a newbie here - I meant to make a proper but short (lol) introduction here first but then this thread caught my intrest. I hope you guys are ok with that. Anyway - this is a problem (sometimes a blessing! lol) for me too - my gyn op told me I have overproductive glands producing my lubricant and she couldnt really provide me with any good advice more than to keep lots of panties/knickers in my handbag and told me more or less to learn to live with it. This was like 10 years ago and Im 28 now. But I got fed up with dealing with this drag of changing panties several times aday and still not feeling fresh and "safe". Using paddings did not solve anything for me since that just irritated my wet vulva and especially my inner& labias which are kinda big and protruding type.& So I started some research of my own on the subject of how women dealt with our periods and menstruation in the old days - before Always, Tampax etc were invented. What I found especially intresting was about how Greek women in the old days used pieces of sponge - that is the natural sponge that divers in Greece still go picking from the bottom of the Med Sea around Greece. This is the kind of expensive sponge that mostly is used for manual& washing of cars - you know - a guy thing! lol Anyway I started experimenting with one of these sponges that I bought from the nearest petrol/gas station. Later I learnt to buy them in "Big Packs" at Supermarkets - much cheaper and lasts about& a year! I use them now in two ways - within my periods and outside my periods. During periods I insert a properly shaped (tampoon shape)& piece of sponge and then use a flatter piece with the thinnest of padding outside that one and kept in place inside my panty. When not on a period I only use the outer, flatter piece of sponge mostly without a thin padding but when I need to feel extra safe I use that too. I always carry a couple of extra, clean pieces of sponge in a small plastic bag for keeping in a pocket of my jacket or jeans. So I dont use a handbag that often. These pieces of sponge are actually recyceble - I wash them and hang them to dry for re use. Maybe some of you find that gross but I dont any longer. Well - I guess that was my input about this subject and if you need more details plz post your questions and I'll be happy to answer you. Ciao from "Tonia" | 2007-09-10 17:25:32 |
| 688 | 4794 | Can you post a photo of the items you have created, as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words? Are they made of natural or synthetic material? Thanks for sharing your experiences and solution. ;-) Brad | 2007-09-10 19:58:24 |
| 688 | 4799 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Can you post a photo of the items you have created, as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words? Hi Brad - yes I could do that - but I havent thought about taking any pictures of them - until now :D so that will take some time until I can upload here or maybe safer to mail them to you for sharing here? Are they made of natural or synthetic material? Absolutely NOT synthetic ones! Those synthetic car wash sponges are the cheap ones you can find in 5 packs and they are always made to a symmetric, box-with-rounded- edges kind of shape. Those synthetic ones dont only scratch your car :P but they represent a high risk of causing irritation and even allergic reactions. Only the natural kind of sponge will do - that is my strong opinion and recommendation since I'm pretty sure there are chemical residues in the synthetic ones. And even with the natural ones, I wash them in plenty of soap and water and lots of rinsing before using them - there could be residues even in those ones from some factory process of washing without proper rinsing. I have never experienced any kind of irritation or allergic reaction from using them since I started washing them like this from the very beginning. Also I have been told to do this from a first level source - the grandmother of a friend of mine who is from Greece. Thanks for sharing your experiences and solution. ;-) You and especially my female co members here are very welcome! :) Brad " | 2007-09-11 14:28:45 |
| 688 | 4801 | Hi, I see a lot of different natural sponges listed on Amazon.com. Any suggestions on picking out the correct one? You can attach the photos yourself or send them to me. You can contact me through my profile. I can't post my email address here because of spam. Brad | 2007-09-11 15:22:26 |
| 688 | 4803 | I see what you mean about search results on Amazon.com - all those sponges seem to be synthetic ones - of various kinds. None of them are the one I mean. The international, Latin name for these sponges is Spongia officinalis and heres a web page about them (from a biological/herbal viewpoint): www.henriettesherbal.com/eclectic/usdisp/spongia.html and here, from that same site - especially read the "USES" part - its actually used in medical/surgical applications. www.henriettesherbal.com/eclectic/sayre/spongia.html News to me was the warning about high standard of washing in a dilution of carbolic acid - I havent done that but Im not in the habit of sharing my used sponges with my friends! :D I didnt find any good pictures from this Google search but I'm sure they are out there somewhere. Ciao from Tonia | 2007-09-11 18:23:31 |
| 688 | 4804 | your panties would get that wet from being excited that you would change panties a few times a day? Was it that you were just lubricating without getting off, or was it that you increased the lubrication by& playing with yourself,& or was it that you ejaculated when you came getting your panties soaked? Melissa | 2007-09-11 21:40:50 |
| 688 | 4837 | Sorry for not answering before - Like I said - I have abnormal fluid production in normal life& - this of course increases when Im sexually "agitated" - but this seldom creates any problems ;) Ciao from Antonia | 2007-09-22 13:07:16 |
| 689 | 4493 | For a while now I've had a problem that after I read a private message, it is still marked as new.& The only way I can reset the PM notification is to delete the message and empty my trash bin. | 2007-07-20 23:17:00 |
| 689 | 4503 | It appears the color of the envelope icon changes from yellow to green when the message is read AND the page is updated. If you browser or service provider caches the page then you may not see the change right away. I will look into this more. Brad | 2007-07-21 13:37:44 |
| 689 | 4542 | Here is the answer I got from the folks who created the message board software: "Ask them to try clearing their cookies or reset the cookies used by the board. The PM envelope will change after you read the message and reload the page for the PM folder." | 2007-07-23 13:35:13 |
| 690 | 4527 | is it safe having sex during her 2nd week mentruation twice in a month? can be get pregnant? | 2007-07-22 20:28:09 |
| 690 | 4531 | there is always a chance of pregnancy, especially if you don't use a condom | 2007-07-22 21:04:01 |
| 690 | 4534 | Hi, Please see the information linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_2.htm Brad | 2007-07-23 01:03:53 |
| 691 | 4528 | I made a survey about multiple orgasms in women and I'd like all the women who see this to take the survey.& It is anonymous and doesn't require registration, either at this forum or at the survey site. If you see this, even if you are just a visitor here and don't plan to post, please take this survey. www.misterpoll.com/204629985.html | 2007-07-22 21:01:11 |
| 691 | 4551 | I hope people keep viewing the surveys I've posted. | 2007-07-24 13:36:21 |
| 691 | 5238 | I don't really know how I would answer questions about multiple orgasms. I have had two in one day a number of times, but there was a separation of at least an hour, often much more. Do they have to be one right after another to be considered "multiple"? | 2007-12-31 10:04:03 |
| 691 | 5243 | I am not sure what dfs3 meant by multiple orgasms in his survey so I will allow him to clarify this as it applies to his survey. In my survey on female masturbation I ask women about the types of orgasms they have experienced, and two of the many options are; Multiple, more than one orgasm per masturbation session - 38% Multiple, one after another, short pause between orgasms - 26% Which are different from sustained orgasms; Sustained, one continuous orgasm that lasted for more than 30 seconds 23% Sustained, one continuous orgasm that lasted for more than a minute& 11% [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/poll_mast.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/poll_mast.htm If you take a break from masturbating during the same day then I personally would not consider this multiple orgasms, but simply that you masturbated more than once that day. If you don't take a break but there is more than a short pause, I am talking about a couple seconds, between orgasms I would say you had multiple orgasms during that masturbation session, but I don't consider that to be the common definition of "multiple orgasms," as least as presented by the media. There is certainly some gray area there that is open to debate. Given the social pressure women may feel to have multiple orgasm, they may want a very broad definition of what multiple orgasms are so they can say they have. In my surveys I don't believe I have allowed women to indicate the number of orgasms they typically experience during each masturbation session, or the maximum number they have experienced during a single masturbation session.& Would we have to set a time limit, as 10% admit to doing it all day and& 7% all weekend? :shock: I believe I have heard of women having many many (50???) orgasms during a single session. Some keep going like the Energizer Bunny. My 2 cents. Brad | 2007-12-31 16:35:14 |
| 691 | 5244 | I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any: why can't I have multiple orgasms? After I've had one orgasm, I feel very tired and not aroused anymore, and further stimulation does nothing. I've been orgasmic for three years so I would think that if I had the ability to have multiple orgasms, it would have kicked in by now. I masturbate and am pretty comfortable with& my body as well.& What's wrong with me? Why can't I have multiple orgasms like other women? | 2008-01-01 22:43:20 |
| 691 | 5249 | Here is an answer to a question I received recently: Hi, & I don't believe& we know& whether or not all women& have the ability to& experience multiple orgasms, as many if not most don't. According to a survey on the website, when masturbating only 26% of women have experienced more than one orgasm with only a short pause in-between. Only 38% have experienced more than one orgasm per masturbation session. This means the majority of women don't experience multiple orgasm, at least while masturbating. & It& could be possible that you can learn how to have multiple orgasms, but I am not sure. & Multiple orgasm are more likely to occur during masturbation with a vibrator, as there are fewer distractions and a vibrator can provide sustained stimulation without getting tired. & To experience multiple orgasms you need to be able to remain relaxed and ensure you are breathing in and out fully, not holding your breath, during the sustained sexual stimulation. The shaking could indicate you aren't relaxed, or the stimulation is greater than what your mind and body are prepared for. So in the beginning,& ensure you are relaxed and breathing, as you near your first orgasm. Once that first orgasm occurs then decrease the level of stimulation a little, pant, like they teach during natural childbirth classes, and once you are a little less sensitive to stimulation, increase the level of stimulation. In the beginning, work on experiencing more than once orgasm per masturbation/sexual experience, then try to bring the orgasms closer together. If you are able to have more than one orgasm per sexual experience then you are already experiencing something many women have not, even if you aren't "multiorgasmic." & There is a chance that multiple orgasms are more likely if you find you enjoy stimulation of your female prostate gland (G-Spot) and/or your cervix, so explore internal stimulation in addition to or instead of clitoral stimulation. Your clitoris may become too sensitive after the first orgasm to allow the sexual stimulation to continue long enough for multiple orgasms to occur. A slow build up to orgasm through non-clitoral forms of stimulation may work best, as more blood engorgement and muscle tension have a chance to develop. & The information about the female sexual nervous system will provide some useful background information on this subject. [url=../f_html/nerves_1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_1.htm & The female prostate gland is addressed in the article linked to below:& [url=../f_html/ejacula.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm & Stimulating the cervix is addressed in the discussion forum.& [url=view_topic.php?id=635&forum_id=7] www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=635&forum_id=7& and in a resent survey: [url=www.misterpoll.com/polls/277837/results] www.misterpoll.com/polls/277837/results & You will also need to keep your brain focused on something it finds sexually arousing, like an erotic story,& video, or sex talk with your partner. & I have had some luck with preceding sexual stimulation with a 1 hour relaxing massage, that stimulates and teases a woman's erogenous zones. The full body massage relaxes her, awakens her body, and she become more open to sexual stimulation. It isn't& a guarantee, but it does help. If you are going to masturbate, a long warm shower or soak in the tub may help with the relaxation and awakening of your body. Reading some erotic will help prepare your brain for sex/masturbation. & Don't focus on orgasm, but rather sexual pleasure. If you focus on orgasm then you will find your sexual experiences less enjoyable, if not just plain frustrating. gt; > Textarea: Hi, How can I have multiple orgasm durin intercourse and cunnilingus??? > And it's been a mounth when i'm getting close t my orgasm all my body starts to shake,especially my foot and it's really intense ,and I can't get multiple orgasm ,just i wanted to know this shaking is normal,also please help me how can I get multiple orgasm during cunnilingus?? > > Thank you very much! > | 2008-01-02 22:53:03 |
| 691 | 6208 | It depends on mood, level of horniness, and available time.& With intercourse, I can cum over and over until my partner gets tired or wants a blow.& I don't know "how many" I could do, because he always has to stop before me...& I think the most was near 20 but... from my masturbation, the most multiple in a single session was around 11 or 12. Most times when I want to multiple or when my body decides it wants more than one, I usually cum 3-5 times in fairly quick succession before I then just run out of time or get scared of getting caught... | 2008-11-05 04:13:45 |
| 691 | 6244 | scared of getting caught? | 2008-11-08 03:08:39 |
| 691 | 6246 | if I´d moan the way,& Mysecret (in another thread: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=371&forum_id=7] www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=371&forum_id=7) said she´d do ... I´d be scared to be caught also... :D& :D& :D& police could think there´s& a murder going& on, actually& :D& :D& :D Alexa ... no offense ... perhaps I just never tried what moaning feels like because I want to keep my feelings private - don´t want my mum to know what I do (she knows in general but not each and every private situation :P) | 2008-11-08 15:49:06 |
| 691 | 6279 | [user=2998]ironbutterfly26[/user] wrote: "I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any: why can't I have multiple orgasms? After I've had one orgasm, I feel very tired and not aroused anymore, and further stimulation does nothing." Since you do not specify you have ever had a sex& partner, I assume you have only orgasmed by masturbation...and that you are young.& When you have a partner who performs oral on you, the result may well be that you can orgasm more than once. & I have had sex with around 50 women.& They ranged from one orgasm a day, to several orgasms within 10 minutes.& There is a wide variety in female sexual response.& Most liked direct clitoral stimulation, especially oral, while two& of my partners& orgasm most easily by putting a pillow between their legs and grinding on it. And, it may take decades and a variety of skilled sex partners before you find out your body's sexual response.& (Your arms only reach so far---there is a limit to the variety of stimulation by masturbation.) I had a two year relationship with a lady in her late 50's.& She had been married four times and had other sex partners, but it was only as a result of my experimentation that she found out she could squirt. Females are too concerned about being and looking "normal".& Unfortunately, it seems to be in your genes. | 2008-11-26 02:51:57 |
| 691 | 6936 | [user=2998]ironbutterfly26[/user] wrote: "I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any: why can't I have multiple orgasms? After I've had one orgasm, I feel very tired and not aroused anymore, and further stimulation does nothing. I've been orgasmic for three years so I would think that if I had the ability to have multiple orgasms, it would have kicked in by now. I masturbate and am pretty comfortable with my body as well. What's wrong with me? Why can't I have multiple orgasms like other women?" Hello there. I've also asked myself the same question..I've asked questions like "what's wrong with me?" ect. But you know .. You should really be proud and thankful for your one orgasm. If youre tired than that's just your body saying that's it's satisfied. There are no rules to sexual satisfactiion and everyone is different. | 2009-11-24 16:14:59 |
| 691 | 6937 | My wife has never had a multiple orgasm at least during intercourse.& She usually has one massive one and then she is too sensitive to touch much.& Which reminds me of how mine are. ;) In the past, years ago with one particular girlfriend, she had multiples, but none seemed as intense as my wife's do. | 2009-12-02 16:26:05 |
| 692 | 4538 | I'm recently divorced after a long marriage and back on the dating scene.& My husband exposed me to herpes during our marriage.& I recognize how easy it is to transmit this and certainly don't want to infect anyone.& When do I tell a "date" that I have this and what can I do to protect him? :( | 2007-07-23 11:45:37 |
| 692 | 4539 | Talk to your doctor.& There are medicines now that can reduce risk of transmission.& Certainly never have sex during an outbreak, and always use a condom.& You should tell the person as soon as you think sex might be a real possibility.& If you're not sure if you'd want to have sex with them, don't bother with telling them.& Most certainly don't wait until after to tell them, as it can be transmitted even when you aren't having an outbreak. | 2007-07-23 12:08:52 |
| 692 | 4540 | They have found that you don't need to be having an outbreak to transmit this disease, and condoms don't prevent transmission either, as they don't cover the entire genital region. The medication may certainly reduce the risk. You need to discuss this issue before you become intimate, when you would discuss birth control and safe sex, though most people probably don't, only making assumptions. You may want to delay this event, so hopefully the person will keep the information in confidence. As far as sex, you can engage in phone sex, mutual masturbation (watching), outercourse with cloths on, or at least with your vulva covered, manual genital massage while wearing latex or Nitrile gloves. You can perform oral on them, but genital herpes can also be spread orally, from oral herpes. There are a lot of sexual activities that don't involve genital contact. For oral sex you can cover your genital regions with plastic food wrap, after first applying lubricant. If you want to experience penetration you can have your partner use a dildo or a strap-on. You can even use a pocket pussy to stimulate his penis and simulate intercourse. I don't know if the female condom works as a better barrier than a male condom, as is covers a larger area. Websites with information or resources: [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes [url=www.herpes.com/] www.herpes.com/ [url=www.herpes.org/] www.herpes.org/ [url=www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm] www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm [url=www.plannedparenthood.org/sexual-health/std/herpes.htm] www.plannedparenthood.org/sexual-health/std/herpes.htm [url=www.herpesite.org/] www.herpesite.org/ [url=www.racoon.com/herpes/] www.racoon.com/herpes/ [url=www.herpes.com/supportgroups.shtml] www.herpes.com/supportgroups.shtml [url=www.gotherpes.com/] www.gotherpes.com/ [url=www.herpesonline.org/herpes_support.html] www.herpesonline.org/herpes_support.html [url=www.positivesingles.com/] www.positivesingles.com/ | 2007-07-23 12:47:25 |
| 693 | 4544 | Hello! I don't have any questions or anything. I just wanted to say hi, and maybe say a little bit about my sex life. It's nice to have a place to just talk and share, since sex can be such a taboo subject in person. (almost all of my friends are coworkers, and it's hardly a safe-for-work subject!) I just started having sex a year and a half ago or so. I certainly enjoyed it, but it wasn't the center of my life or anything. It didn't happen often, and I didn't really crave it. For a year more I was in that relationship, and about the time my boyfriend went away for college, my sex drive decided to kick in. Just my time, I guess. (18 seems about the right age for such a thing.) Unfortunatly, because he was away for college, I never really got to fufull those desires. It got to an almost unbearable point, and inevitably destroyed the relationship. (it was a good thing, but I don't miss it.) At that point, everything hit me all at once. I was suddenly singe, had no boundries, and as the only woman in my major at college, had plenty of interested parties. Within the short span of a few days, all that built up tension over the past months let loose. I went through a few different partners in a very short time, 2 months or so, and pretty much had my "crazy teenage years" in that two months. I went from very vanilla relationship with a very vanilla man, to being a complete sex and BDSM addict. Though I enjoyed every one of those very short relationships, they were just for sex (and the men I was with knew that as well, which did save some hurt feelings when I moved on to someone else.) Within 3 months of losing my first real relationship, I gained another one with someone who is both physically and emotionally compatible, and that is wonderful. We enjoy our day time together, watching movies and going for walks, telling jokes and stories and smiling with each other... That is wonderful. We also enjoy out nights together, which is even more wonderful! The beginning of my current relationship was actually a bit strained, physically. I'm a very small figured person (5'2", 110 pounds), and I was very surprised come the first time we engaged in any kind of sexual activity to find that the man I was with was not small! For the first two or three weeks, we had to take it very slow and be very careful, and though enjoyable, sex was very painful. There was a little bit of blood the first few times, and we could only have sex every 3 or 4 days to give me time to 'heal up.' We had to skip all the fun stuff (not saying regular sex isn't fun, but we've moved on to some more 'interesting' stuff since then) because we had to focus on going slow, being careful, and figuring out what positions gave me the least pain. Communication helped us a lot through that time. We've been going out for 5 months now, and I've adjusted well to acommidate his surprising size. We're starting to get in to bondage (one of the reasons I was allured to him - I always found the idea very, very appealing, and I knew he was in to it) but we're taking it slow. I love that we communicate so much, there is no awkwardness when asking questions or giving suggestions during sex. Two weeks back, I actually got to experience my first orgasm during sex, which had to be the second best feeling ever next to the snuggling just after. :D This was accompanied by a very pornstar-like female ejaculation, which I'd also never experienced. I also masturbate, a lot. I'm not shy about that at all, most of my friends are well aware of why I don't pick up my phone most of the time. On a good day, it takes me 10-15 minutes to get off alone, and even longer to get off with a partner. I don't mind this, since the build up feels pretty nice as well. It has caused me to be late to work and class a few times though. Oops. I think that's about it. I'm young, 19, and have pretty much only been very sexual for 8 months or so, I've still got plenty to learn and am hoping hanging around here will be good for that! | 2007-07-23 15:12:25 |
| 693 | 4550 | I guess I'll be the first to respond.& Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your good experiences.& Not everyone is so lucky. | 2007-07-24 13:35:51 |
| 694 | 4549 | To friends and contacts past and present, I'm not a mass mailing alarmist that spams people with everything that enters his world. That said, i was moved to act in this case. The info in the attachment is a news report on a barely known form of breast cancer called Inflammatory Breast Cancer, or IBC. It thankfully has more obvious symptoms than lump breast cancer, but it is much faster-moving and kills at all ages, as you will see reported. This is not just an older woman's disease. Doctors commonly mistake it for nothing more than a rash or bug bites. That is, until it has progressed into stage four in less than 6 months. Again, the lack of awareness of this disease and it's speed is what moved me to action. Take care. Eric Wilkinson [url=www.komotv.com/ibc/] www.komotv.com/ibc/ Video: [url=fisherinteractive.com/komo/ibc/komo_ibc.wmv] fisherinteractive.com/komo/ibc/komo_ibc.wmv Betty Dodson [url=www.bettydodson.com] www.bettydodson.com | 2007-07-24 10:10:31 |
| 695 | 4571 | Hi everyone, I'm new to this board.& Ok...so I've been with my husband for 10 years but married for 6.& We were both virgins when we got married and needless to say since then our sex life hasn't been the best. I've had some issues from the beginning.& Well we decided to try to have a baby last September.& So, we've become more regular.& I feel like we don't mesh well though.& I feel like we both have no idea what we're doing.& Sometimes I feel like we're still virgins trying to figure out how everything works. When we try to have sex, we usually get in an argument at the end b/c we can't find the specific spot we need.& I'm always thinking he's going somewhere else, when he tells me, no I'm pretty sure we're in the right spot. Ugh..this is frustrating! Is this normal? | 2007-07-26 19:02:33 |
| 695 | 4572 | Is it normal?& Well, that isn't a good word.& It's certainly common for people to have issues like this, but that doesn't mean they can't or shouldn't be solved.& From the few words you wrote, it seems like you both have some communication issues regarding your sexual needs, and in particular it seems that your husband isn't much of a listener when it comes to that. You should spend some time reading through the numerous articles on the main part of this site to get some ideas on how you might be able to improve that.& The most important part of good sex is communication. | 2007-07-26 19:11:57 |
| 696 | 4573 | I made a pair of surveys after a discussion about this topic. The first survey is for women, and it is about how you have dealt (or how you think you would deal) with a situation where the man's penis is too large for your body to fit comfortable. www.misterpoll.com/4241971284.html The second survey is for men, and is about the same experience from a male perspective [url=www.misterpoll.com/2250113737.html] www.misterpoll.com/2250113737.html You don't need to be registered at either this forum or the survey site to participate, so please, non-members should also answer the survey for their appropriate gender. If any member here thinks of additional questions or answer options they think I should add to these surveys, please post here or send a private message. | 2007-07-27 13:00:45 |
| 696 | 4574 | lol, spoke to somebody yesterday, and he told me 10-11 was gigantic. Is it? I always thought it wasn't. That most guys were in that range. | 2007-07-27 14:47:08 |
| 696 | 4575 | 10 to 11 inches is roughly 25.5 to 28 centimeters. The charts below are pretty typical distributions.& The first is in inches, the second in millimeters. [img] www.enlargepenisguide.com/photos/SizeSurveyChart.gif[/img] [img] www.sizesurvey.com/fig3.gif[/img] | 2007-07-27 15:34:16 |
| 696 | 4579 | While men like to imagine that they have a huge penis, the average woman isn't so large inside that they can accomidate much more than average, length wise. Diameter is another story, as some women do like big around. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_9/qa9_9.htm | 2007-07-28 06:36:06 |
| 696 | 4581 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "While men like to imagine that they have a huge penis, the average woman isn't so large inside that they can accomidate much more than average, length wise. Diameter is another story, as some women do like big around. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_9/qa9_9.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_9/qa9_9.htm " I guess so. I figured it was more of a, if you're a certain size then you're that size in the width. So much for that! lol. It kind of makes you wonder how it's gonna fit, obviously it does, lol but still. I have enough issues with two fingers, thats smaller than 1.5 across! I was told though, it stretches over time. lol, let's hope so. | 2007-07-28 13:49:13 |
| 698 | 4577 | I have been 6 years with my pair, and we have always used like protection means the preservative, in all that time in two occasions eyaculó my pair without protection, and I felt that my vagina burned to me and escozÃa. A few months ago, due to a small cyst, they sent the pill to me, reason why whenever we do it I notice the ardor, and the irriación of vulva. I believe that I have allergy to his semen, and do not know if to others, because I have only menatenido relations with this pair. I begin to reject the sexual relations reason why “it comes laterâ€. What possible treatments it has to eliminate this so uncomfortable and rare allergy? Is certain that I can create antibodies as opposed to semen, and present/display fertility problems? Garcias, and I wait for its answers, because this subject very is not known, but really uncomfortable, | 2007-07-27 20:50:25 |
| 698 | 4578 | Please see the information linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_12.htm | 2007-07-28 06:30:19 |
| 699 | 4593 | Hi, I received an email today from someone saying their girlfriend would no longer perform oral sex on them because it causes throat cancer. :shock: I didn't believe this was true, but it is possible. :X Please see information linked to below. Be sure to read the entire article, as the first couple of websites that came up on Google didn't do so and you get a totally different message.& Listen to the audio file linked to on the top of this page too! You can read the original research article if you so desire on the website linked to below: [url=content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/356/19/1944?]content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/356/19/1944? Basically, sex transmits HPV, HPV can cause cancer, so sex, oral or otherwise, can indirectly cause cancer.& X-( We kind of already knew that, at least cervical cancer. What we don't know is the actual or real risk of this occurring, how likely you are to get the cancer caused by HPV. It appears that just because you get HPV that doesn't mean you will automatically get cancer, which is good news, as they are saying 80% of women will contract it during their lifetime, which means I am guessing that 80% of men would get it to. We, or at least I, kind of assumed that as long as you didn't get HIV then everything was ok, no big deal. In reality, the more sexual partners you have the greater the risk of you getting a STD.& Some of these STDs may have greater long term dangers than we once believed. Now, we still don't know how risky sex is, at least the risks associated with having more than one sexual partner in our lifetime. I kind of thought that as long as I always used a condom I was being pretty save, that doesn't appear to be true. :X I am not presenting this information to alarm anyone, but to educate them. The sky isn't falling!!! You can read about Human Papillomavirus (HPV), at the websites linked to below: [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus] en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus [url=www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm] www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFfact-HPV.htm | 2007-07-31 21:03:01 |
| 699 | 4594 | from what I understand, it is only certain strains of HPV that are tied to cancer, and there are many strains of it.& having the certain strains doesn't seem to be a guarantee of cancer, and obviously there is no guarantee of getting a certain strain ofit. | 2007-07-31 21:46:21 |
| 699 | 4595 | and obviously, oral sex doesn't cause throat cancer.& the guy needs to be checked to see if he is clear of disease, and if so, there is nothing to worry about. | 2007-07-31 21:47:43 |
| 699 | 4597 | It appears the tests for men may not exist yet. In the audio file she says the tests for men are 15 years behind the ones for women, if I remember correctly. Men don't get PAP smears. Actually, they both need to be tested, as they can each give it to the other. | 2007-07-31 21:53:03 |
| 699 | 4598 | well, yes, they do.& I was referring to the throat cancer in particular.& if he doesn't have it, she can't get it, and there is no risk of the cancer.& if she already has it, he may get it, but she was already at risk. | 2007-07-31 22:08:09 |
| 699 | 4599 | Stopping after you have already performed oral would probably gain nothing, as she probably would have been infected, assuming he has it. Of course, she may already have it if she has prior sexual partners. If she has genital HPV, he goes down on her, he kisses her, she goes down on him, then do they both have oral and genital HPV??? HPV is said to be very common in women of college age who are are having sex, which likely means of that age probably have it too. Brad | 2007-08-01 08:32:43 |
| 699 | 4605 | from what you mentioned of the email, it sounded like the girl assumed that it was the oral sex itself that caused the throat cancer, and not risk of HPV exposure.& If she stopped giving oral because of that and not because the guy has HPV, then if they get cleared for HPV, they should be able to resume having oral sex. also, HPV is a broad group of viruses.& that includes the viruses that cause genital warts, but there are many others.& normal warts on the hands and feet are caused by other kinds of HPV. the number of people with HPV is high, but those numbers don't really specify the nature of the infection.& not all strains of the virus are sexually transmitted, and only about 1/10 of them have been related to various cancers.& these 80% to 90% figures probably include people with common warts.& also, I'm not sure since I'm not a doctor, but I don't think all strains are contractable through general contact, either.& if you have hand warts, for example, sticking your hand in your mouth won't give you mouth warts, but sticking your hand in someone else's mouth might give them hand warts, but again, not mouth warts.& according to wikipedia, only about 15% of women were exposed to the high-risk types of genital HPV.& also according to wikipedia, among women who are exposed to genital HPV and receive no pap testing or treatment, only about 1% actually develop cancer.& since regular gynecological visits are available and encouraged in developed countries, that suggests that the rate of cancer in women with regular checkups is even lower.& I don't know how much it lowers the risk, but with simple statistics it means that the occurence is noticeably less than 0.15% of women. obviously people should always be careful, get tested, and use protection.& however, a lot of the numbers thrown around I think don't accurately reflect the real risks of cancer.& also, considering the fact that straight men are less susceptable to contracting sexually transmitted disease than women, the throat cancer issue in particular should not be considered a high risk situation. | 2007-08-01 13:06:57 |
| 699 | 4608 | Now that vaccines are being made and even starting to be used privately in the UK against the HPV, will this also help protect against the throat cancer risk...well, if it's supposed to prevent the HPV, than surely it will help in the same way it does with cervical cancer. When you hear about all these risks apart from the obvious one of pregnancy, it starts to make you wonder whether recreational sex is even worth it. Phooo:? | 2007-08-01 14:31:46 |
| 699 | 4609 | well, the new vaccine only targets 4 of the most common strains that have been linked to cervical cancer, and there are about 10 total I think.& So the drug only reduces the chances, it's not a 100% safeguard. also, I don't know if those 4 strains, or for that matter, if any of the cervical cancer related strains are the same ones that are related to this potential for throat cancer.& if they are the same strain, then obviously, yes it will help.& if you are immune to the virus, then you can't get it regardless of the part of your body that is exposed.& and also, if a lot of women get the vaccine, then it will even help with unvaccinated women to a degree.& if a large group of women are immune, then it is less likely that men will contract the strain, and hence less likely for unvaccinated women to get it. | 2007-08-01 14:55:29 |
| 699 | 4610 | and no, I would say that recreational sex is not worth it.& HPV is only one of the many things still out there.& you still have herpes and all the other old STDs that have been around for a while, and obviously HIV to worry about as well.& I'd never have sex with someone that isn't monogamous with me and had been tested. | 2007-08-01 14:57:41 |
| 700 | 4596 | WASHINGTON (AP) -- After exhaustively compiling a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex, researchers found that young men and women get intimate for mostly the same motivations. It's more about lust in the body than a love connection in the heart. College-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex - they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and "it feels good," according to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior. Twenty of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and women. Expressing love and showing affection were in the top 10 for both men and women, but they did take a back seat to the clear No. 1: "I was attracted to the person." Researchers at the University of Texas spent five years and their own money to study the overlooked why behind sex while others were spending their time on the how. "It's refuted a lot of gender stereotypes ... that men only want sex for the physical pleasure and women want love," said University of Texas clinical psychology professor Cindy Meston, the study's co-author. "That's not what I came up with in my findings." Forget thinking that men are from Mars and women from Venus, "the more we look, the more we find similarity," said Dr. Irwin Goldstein, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego. Goldstein, who wasn't part of Meston's study, said the Texas research made a lot of sense and adds to growing evidence that the vaunted differences in the genders may only be among people with sexual problems. Meston and colleague David Buss first questioned 444 men and women - ranging in age from 17 to 52 - to come up with a list of 237 distinct reasons people have sex. They ranged from "It's fun" which men ranked fourth and women ranked eighth to "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease" which ranked on the bottom by women. Once they came up with that long list, Meston and Buss asked 1,549 college students taking psychology classes to rank the reasons on a one-to-five scale on how they applied to their experiences. "None of the gender differences are all that great," Meston said. "Men were more likely to be opportunistic towards having sex, so if sex were there and available they would jump on it, somewhat more so than women. Women were more likely to have sex because they felt they needed to please their partner." But this is among college students, when Meston conceded "hormones run rampant." She predicted huge differences when older groups of people are studied. Since her study came out Tuesday, people are coming up with new reasons to have sex. "Originally, I thought that we exhaustively compiled the list, but now I found that there should be some added," Meston said. Full article: homepage.psy.utexas.edu/Homepage/Group/BussLAB/pdffiles/ why%20humans%20have%20sex%202007.pdf | 2007-07-31 21:49:37 |
| 700 | 4606 | I saw that as well, and I don't think anyone should be surprised that "it feels good" is the top reason. :D | 2007-08-01 13:07:59 |
| 700 | 4607 | Ah, that was in the Daily Mail in the UK a few weeks ago, lol. I remember reading about it and they also mentioned it on the radio that morning. | 2007-08-01 14:27:48 |
| 701 | 4603 | I've been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks now and we have been talking about having sex, for the first time for both of us, and I'm certain it will happen very soon. I'm uncircumsized, 17, and am familiar with condoms. My question is, what do I do? Obviously, since it's going to be vaginal intercourse, I insert my penis into her, but what next? Do I just keep thrusting or penetrating until it's over? What can I expect to happen and (basically) how do I do it? I am unfamiliar with sex in general but I would like to change that and be as prepared as I can be? Any info will help I'm sure. | 2007-08-01 12:16:01 |
| 701 | 4604 | there is a link on the main site to an article about the first time having sex, but the link is broken.& when brad sees this, hopefully he can fix the link or send you the article or something. | 2007-08-01 12:41:40 |
| 701 | 4611 | Hi, Fixed, thanks for letting me know: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm Brad | 2007-08-01 19:36:53 |
| 704 | 4626 | Hi! I'm 40 years old women and love sex, but it bothers me that I depend on a strong vibrator to get orgasm (while masturbating and during partnered sex). In addition I also need to contract my pelvic muscles a lot to build up tension. I also experience that the more I use& the vibrator& the more my clit get numb. I once reached orgasm using my fingers, but the feeling was more "dull", not the strong sensation I get using a vibrator. A strong water spray also works, but this makes my clit also numb when using a lot. I really want to wean off my vibrator and condition myself to lesser stimulation to reach orgasm. Please share your experiences with me! Did you manage to switch from vibrator to "manual" stimulation? How did you do it? How long time did it take? All advises are wellcome! :-) I fantasize a lot and like to watch porn. I really get aroused each time, but I clearly feel the vibrator makes my clit less sensitive. It is& very often& impossible/quite hard for me to reach orgasm& two times& during the same day (e.g. in the evening when I used my vibrator in the morning). This effect is undependent of my arousal. Have you also experienced numbness when using a strong vibrator? Happy to read your answers! :-) | 2007-08-04 10:14:18 |
| 704 | 4627 | I have similar experiences. I am 19 and recently started masturbating (this year). Before, all it took was some nice finger work to orgasm, and then I ventured into vibrators. I found that my orgasms were much stronger with one and I didn't orgasm without one for months. I would try to bring myself to orgasm using my fingers& but it never worked after using a vibrator.& Recently the one I had broke and I went about& six days without an orgasm and I really wanted one. So I went back to my old ways of using my fingers and in a surprising amount of time I actually orgasmed. From what you said, I believe I reach orgasm easier than you because I can orgasm with my vibrator up to 6 times a day (maybe more but I've never tried). It's probably just going to take a lot of mental stimulation along with physical. Personally, when I masturbate with my fingers, I tie my feet up because that's what does it for me mentally and physically. LoL I would suggest not using your vibrator for a few days and then trying to bring yourself to orgasm using your fingers. There are shared experiences on the-clitoris.com that helped me when I first started. | 2007-08-04 10:21:28 |
| 704 | 4645 | I'm a man. I have masturbated quite often at times, and now that I'm in middle age my sensitivity has diminished. Having vaginal intercourse takes longer to bring orgasm. I have found that if I abstain for a few days, the tension builds and sensitivity is not an issue. Also, as a man, I am more aroused by visual stimulation. If I abstain from porn, I am more likely to focus on BEING with my wife than SEEING her and am able to reach orgasm before she gets tired or frustrated. This is what has worked for me. I hope an experience from the other half helps. | 2007-08-12 11:14:01 |
| 707 | 4676 | Why is it or rather how is it, one can achieve an orgasm without touch? What's the reason behind it? I won't say, it's not a bad thing? I'll refrain from stating that. Thanks! Appreciate it. | 2007-08-13 23:34:12 |
| 707 | 4677 | It's generally a result of extreme arousal.& Often it leads to embarassing situations, specifically for men, not so much for women.& some women also "masturbate" through thought alone, as well as simply squeezing the appropriate muscles. | 2007-08-14 02:59:14 |
| 707 | 4680 | The brain can stimulate the sexual organs and cause sexual arousal and orgasm to occur. Examples being male and female wet dreams. Once the arousal and muscular tension reaches the necessary level orgasm occurs. While the stimulation is mental, the arousal and orgasm occur in the mind and body. Brad | 2007-08-14 09:19:46 |
| 707 | 4681 | Well, I appreciate it. I was just wondering what the reason was behind it. lol, I know I can't think of sex too much because I have a big issue then. It definitley feels good though, but regardless. Why is it though, more men can do it then females? What's the reasoning behind that? If I've asked this before, tell me, I thought with female ejaculation at least. You had to touch to have it? I've done it about twice when I thought about sex, one time was with the muscle..let's just say, I fell on my tush in that, lol. And..last night, I just thought of it. Sorry, if I'm a bit too open with my statements, lol. | 2007-08-14 13:09:40 |
| 707 | 4682 | In a survey on the website, 92% of women report they experience sexual dreams while sleeping. 38% experience only sexual arousal and 29% experience orgasm during these dreams. During male wet dreams they may experience ejaculation, which leaves physical evidence that can be seen when they wake up, i.e. semen on their clothing and linen. Women may not wake up during or soon after their nocturnal orgasms so there isn't physical evidence to indicate it occurred when they wake up. They may believe any resulting wetness was from something other than sexual arousal, and some may not want to believe they experience nocturnal arousal and orgasm. Women may experience female ejaculation any time the pelvic muscles contract, regardless of cause. The female prostate gland is reported to be producing fluids at all times, and traces of this fluid has been found on their underwear. We don't know much about female ejaculation so it is hard to explain all the whys. Here is a link to the survey results mentioned above: www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=966966231 Brad | 2007-08-14 15:50:36 |
| 707 | 4684 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "In a survey on the website, 92% of women report they experience sexual dreams while sleeping. 38% experience only sexual arousal and 29% experience orgasm during these dreams. During male wet dreams they may experience ejaculation, which leaves physical evidence that can be seen when they wake up, i.e. semen on their clothing and linen. Women may not wake up during or soon after their nocturnal orgasms so there isn't physical evidence to indicate it occurred when they wake up. They may believe any resulting wetness was from something other than sexual arousal, and some may not want to believe they experience nocturnal arousal and orgasm. Women may experience female ejaculation any time the pelvic muscles contract, regardless of cause. The female prostate gland is reported to be producing fluids at all times, and traces of this fluid has been found on their underwear. We don't know much about female ejaculation so it is hard to explain all the whys. Here is a link to the survey results mentioned above: [url=www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=966966231] www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=966966231 Brad " Usually in a wet dream, do you create the same amount as you would masturbating?? Also, let me see if I have this whole female ejaculation thing down. I've read up on it, lol, but that doesn't always mean I processed it right. You get aroused and you start pulsing, and then it becomes painful, as in you can't walk because you hurt. It's as if you need to release the pressure, which is at least for me the same time I feel myself..leaking..and the "urge to pee" as I call it comes. Short to say, you then squirt it out. But, I didn't know or rather catch on, it was the prostate that did it. lol. Would explain why I keep..squirting. Am i correct, or wrong still? As well as, let me get this whole, mental stimulation thing correct. You think of sex, whatever it may be for people, and for me I get the same effects as listed above. What is it though that causes the thought process to end up reacting on your lower part? What causes the pulsing as well? What's the scientific reason behind the fact that mental thought process can cause you to, release your wet stuff in loads. Also, not sure if this was answered, but I didn't see it. Why do more men have it then women? Do women not get more orgasms than a man, so why do men are women differ in this? With the pleasure spots on the body, what's the cause behind that? Anyway, thank you, appreciate it. | 2007-08-14 21:01:03 |
| 707 | 4726 | I have never known a man who could think off, without touching....I heard of a few women who could do this..it may be more embarassing for a guy because he has an erection... | 2007-08-16 22:32:44 |
| 707 | 4727 | actually more women think off than men....except perhaps wet dreams.... | 2007-08-16 22:33:52 |
| 707 | 4728 | I don't know about men intentionally "thinking off", but sometimes a man gets accidentally aroused to the point of orgasm just from thinking or seeing or hearing something intensely sexual. | 2007-08-16 22:43:10 |
| 707 | 4735 | [user=2247]DeutschesMaedchen[/user] wrote"Usually in a wet dream, do you create the same amount as you would masturbating?? Also, let me see if I have this whole female ejaculation thing down. I've read up on it, lol, but that doesn't always mean I processed it right. You get aroused and you start pulsing, and then it becomes painful, as in you can't walk because you hurt. It's as if you need to release the pressure, which is at least for me the same time I feel myself..leaking..and the "urge to pee" as I call it comes. Short to say, you then squirt it out. But, I didn't know or rather catch on, it was the prostate that did it. lol. Would explain why I keep..squirting. Am i correct, or wrong still? As well as, let me get this whole, mental stimulation thing correct. You think of sex, whatever it may be for people, and for me I get the same effects as listed above. What is it though that causes the thought process to end up reacting on your lower part? What causes the pulsing as well? What's the scientific reason behind the fact that mental thought process can cause you to, release your wet stuff in loads. Also, not sure if this was answered, but I didn't see it. Why do more men have it then women? Do women not get more orgasms than a man, so why do men are women differ in this? With the pleasure spots on the body, what's the cause behind that? Anyway, thank you, appreciate it. " I am not female so I cannot really describe what it feels like to female ejaculate. I cannot recall other women mentioning they experienced pain. They may have a different type of orgasm, as in it feels different than when they don't ejaculate, or it may feels the same and they are later aware of the wetness they produced. During ejaculation you may be more aware of pelvic muscle contractions, which would expel the fluid. I have to wonder if your pelvic and thigh muscles are in spasm, as a result of anxiety, or just doing it incorrectly. Make sure you aren't holding your breath, and you may need to slow down and make sure you are relaxed. You may be experiencing tension orgasms rather than clitoral orgasms. My believe is that some women experience orgasm through muscle tension rather than sexual arousal and the resulting sexual tension. I mention this in the recent update I did on the female sexual nervous system, linked to below. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_2.htm#1 I believe the urge to urinate is more like a tingling sensation or bladder pressure rather than the discomfort associated with holding your bladder for a long time, though the pressure of doing so does seem to make some women's orgasms more intense. Your prostate may feel swollen and ready to let go, which may feel like you have to urinate. If you are frequently experiencing the urge to urinate then you may have a urinary track infection. You might need to insert a finger or two into your vagina and monitor the state of your pelvic muscles. They should only be clamping down during orgasm. The brain sends out electrical and chemical messengers to the body that triggers physical sexual arousal during wet dreams and sexual fantasy.& As you sleep you may be more relaxed and less inhibited so the whole arousal and orgasm process occurs easier. You may have naughty dreams than fantasies, as your subconscious mind may not censor them. The arousal and orgasms are the same as those that you have during when you are awake, and possible more intense. They are more likely to occur when you are experiencing innate or hormonally induced sexual desire, as you brain is already primed for sex. Brad | 2007-08-18 10:23:28 |
| 707 | 4744 | Well, pain as in not painful pain. I'm a horrible explainer, been told that a lot. lol. It goes away after I have an orgasm, but if my body goes back to pulsing badly again, then it starts to hurt again until I orgasm again. It happens when I ignore my bodies reactions. I don't know exactly what pelvic muscle contractions are, lol, but I do know when I've..had a finger down there, it got tighter when I had an orgasm. I can barely fit two in, it works and doesn't cause me pain, but ones easier. lol. Not exactly delicately put, I know, lol. I don't know if I'm anxious or not, I know the feeling of being anxious. If it's the same as you would be, speaking in front of huge crowds, lol. That's where I'm anxious in. I was before, but I do like the feeling. It's just sometimes I wish they would just go away, and everytime I do try to ignore it, my mind won't go away from the sexual thoughts. The harder you try, the harder it is. I don't know, I only get the urge to pee when I have too, lol as in actual pee. I know you aren't supposed to hold it in, but the urge I get I think is the best way to describe it when I..touch myself down there. I don't know how else to describe it other than having the urge to pee. The only issue I know, so far, that I have with my body are my hormone levels. My two hormones are switched, and the fact that I get cysts. Which happens because I have issues with my hormones, lol. I don't really know how to describe the..squirting..part other than I know it's coming. You try to stop it when it's during certain situations you don't want it, like yesterday in the car. It's like a lid opens, so to speak. It feels like liquid coming upwards and the lid opens and it shoots out. Best way, I can describe it as quick as possible. lol. & | 2007-08-18 13:02:03 |
| 707 | 4762 | Hello, & Question, can your g spot go bigger? Thanks, appreciate it. | 2007-08-26 22:24:54 |
| 711 | 4688 | Hi to everyone.& i am new to this forum board too. well, i am trying this,& because my gf and i have not been having sex for a while and slowly.. i feel sexually frustrated, even though i know the possible cause. what i am wondering is how to lower my frustration and how to& solve my gf's vaginismus problem? I know that there are times when i penetrate her, that she feels pain deep inside. we have been to a gynecologist, but she said that there was no infections and that the vagina looks healthy. thus, the problem could be mental. only recently we found out about the vaginismus syndrome and we are quite sure now, that this is the cause of her pain. but now, because we know of this possibility, each time we get intimate, you can actually feel the tension in the room that there is a sexual problem. therefore, even when i want to have sex (even if it's me being penetrated), we just don't have sex at all... and basically masturbate mutually and individually... an other problem is that the moment she is done with masturbating, in which i am helping her, she just falls asleep.. i feel like sleeping with a man too... lol. i know that the way she masturbates requires a lot of energy from her. when i mean a lot i mean A LOT. she doesn't masturbate like me, where the clit is being teased with the fingers. She needs my arm in between her legs and somehow, she squeezes her legs so strongly together that, i assume, her clit is being satisfied with minimal friction from my arm and not a strong one like when the fingers are directly on the clit. it sounds complicated, but that's how she has been masturbating her whole life. the fingers will not do the job and even when i try that on her. she is being turned on, but she can't get an orgasm, without having the arm in between her legs... thus.. i don't know what to do. i feel .... like my entire sexperties acquired these years are not helping at all :P & any suggestions are more than welcomed... thanks! | 2007-08-15 00:32:19 |
| 711 | 4690 | Ah, that word, sexpertise. It does not exist. All men and women are different so just because you got to know what you ex liked doesn't mean you'll be able to use those same techniques to get somebody else off. It's a case of learning from scratch with every new partner you have. As for the vaginismus, I know all about that because I suffer from it myself and am unable to accommodate a penis or have pelvic exams. Firstly, I think that the problem won't go away until you put intercourse on hold for a while. Obviously, because of the pain it is causing her, she isn't looking forward to it. Would you? It isn't just the pain either, everytime you try this and it fails and hurts, it reinforces her feelings of inadequacy and she finds herself just not wanting to do it again. For the time being, I suggest you concentrate on other forms of sex and leave penetration out and she'll relax more knowing that it isn't coming. At the same time, your GF should start to train her vagina how to accommodate something of penis size without tensing up and causing the pain. She can get vaginal trainers (Dilators) for this or use tapered candles with condoms on or her own fingers and use plenty of lube. Once she is ok with inserting something the same girth as your penis then you can try IC again but carefully and don't expect to be able to thrust furiously at first. It will also help if you take part in her dilating/training sessions. Vaginismus tends to cause a pain nearer the entrance where the PC muscles are..not so much deep inside. If it is deep inside, it could be your penis hitting her cervix and so positions where penetration isn't as deep may help. The pain from vaginismus is like a burning, stretching, even splitting type pain depending on how big the object is thats inserted compared to what the vagina will happily have in it. I will also mention that vaginismus is a mental condition that generally stems from a fear of pain but can also be a fear of pregnancy/STDs or of giving up control. There are a variety of things that can cause it to happen but it is basically& the brain that tells the PC muscles of the vagina to contract and prevent entry of objects to avoid pain etc..or whatever it is& the woman is subconsciously afraid of& and this happens out of the womans control. From carrying on having IC and causing pain, you are actually reinforcing the condition and it& could get even worse which is why it is important to not cause anymore pain whatsoever. I know some women with vag who started out not even being able to insert a cottonbud (Q-tip) or even get it, or their fingers& within inches of their vulva area without having a panic attack so vaginismus comes in lots of severities. Some women were even unable to spread their legs and found their legs would just close together and refuse to open up. As for the masturbation part, I understand that too. Fingertips are too small and don't give the right kind of stimulation and too much pressure in too small an area for me plus they end up too smooth and slippery and I like a bit of friction& so I also require something a bit on the larger side that doesn't become "too" smooth and slippery. I have orgasmed with my fingers before but they certainly don't work as well as other methods. I'll also go at it until I am exhausted but thats after about 20 or more orgasms and then, I'll admit, it's hard not to drop to sleep unless you get up and do something. It is useful as a means of getting to sleep when you can't as well though. Works a treat.:D | 2007-08-15 08:02:28 |
| 711 | 4694 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Ah, that word, sexpertise. It does not exist. All men and women are different so just because you got to know what you ex liked doesn't mean you'll be able to use those same techniques to get somebody else off. It's a case of learning from scratch with every new partner you have. " I won't comment on the rest, because you're basically the resident expert on the subject, but as for the quoted bit, I will argue that sexpertise comes in one form: awareness.& The ability (and willingness) to communicate, read body language, and adjust your method to the needs of the partner is true sexpertise, not having a particular technique. | 2007-08-15 13:45:28 |
| 711 | 4696 | Ah, I wasn't thinking of it in that context because I didn't think that Fruitty meant it in that context but, yes, that could be what sexpertise can be classed as. Something totally different though to what most people think it is. | 2007-08-15 14:27:02 |
| 711 | 4722 | Thanks for the replies! here are my little comments to you. [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user]"It isn't just the pain either, everytime you try this and it fails and hurts, it reinforces her feelings of inadequacy and she finds herself just not wanting to do it again." Well, strangely, when she wants sex, she is more than lubricated and really is horny to death, but the moment i put my fingers in her.. that's about it. she dries out and she gets frustrated cos she really wanted it& :P it's funny in some ways.. but not really too. [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] "For the time being, I suggest you concentrate on other forms of sex and leave penetration out and she'll relax more knowing that it isn't coming. At the same time, your GF should start to train her vagina how to accommodate something of penis size without tensing up and causing the pain." That's an other thing... :P i left the penetration, but she was asking for it and sometimes it works pretty well with penetration, sometimes it doesn't and she gets frustrated... LOL. We also did a little bit of training by using a very skinny dildo. She LOVED it... but when i try it now, it doesn't seem like it is working anymore, vene though she wants it. it's quite strange. As for the masturbation thingy... well... ya, i guess it's normal to some extend... just that now, she requires mental stimulation by me telling her a sexual story... sometimes it's fun, but sometimes.. it's really tedious because sometimes, you just don't wanna tell a story and just come... sigh... thanks for your suggestions! i guess& i will keep on being patient and deal with it somehow and get to know my hands even better... sigh... | 2007-08-16 02:11:28 |
| 711 | 4741 | There are many possible reasons why vaginal penetration is painful, and vaginismus is often a generic term used to described many possible causes of this pain, or is the primary cause. A medical condition can cause the pain, which leads to the condition of vaginismus. Many of the possible causes of pain during vaginal penetration are addressed on the article linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#pain1] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#pain1 [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin3.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin3.htm Many women are motivated to engage in intercourse or vaginal penetration because they believe "normal women do." Their body is telling them not to, but their mind says they should. She may want to be able to experience it because you can. She may presume that all female couples do this, only have heterosexual roll models, which isn't true. Sounds like she needs to work on developing a new way of masturbating that doesn't rely so much on muscle tension, but stimulation of her erogenous zones, like her clitoris, vagina, anus, nipples, etc. Basically slow down and use sexual pleasure to create the sexual pleasure that results in orgasm. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_2.htm#1] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_2.htm#1 Have you tried using a vibrator? Brad | 2007-08-18 12:14:43 |
| 711 | 4748 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] "Sounds like she needs to work on developing a new way of masturbating that doesn't rely so much on muscle tension, but stimulation of her erogenous zones, like her clitoris, vagina, anus, nipples, etc. Basically slow down and use sexual pleasure to create the sexual pleasure that results in orgasm. Have you tried using a vibrator?" We have tried to develop a new way of masturbating, we tried it slowly, but it doesn't seem like she can relax her mind or body to actually enjoy it. she seems to enjoy it, she said it herself, but she also says, she's frustrated to not be able to just get that orgasm eventhough she is already at the stage of coming. do you think it is due to her always wanting to control everything? cos i know she loves to control :). and yes, we have tried vibrator,& but she really just can't relax enough to come. | 2007-08-19 03:54:30 |
| 711 | 4749 | Hi, Sounds like you may need to work on the relaxation some before the masturbation and orgasm. She must also value the pleasure of masturbation and sex rather than trying so hard to experience orgasm. So you might suggest the idea of her not having an orgasm, but simply to explore pleasure, and the same for you. Try taking a hot shower shower and being intimate. Relax and cuddle. Try intimacy without the need for sex and orgasms. Have her read some erotic stories out loud or have her tell you her sexual fantasies to get her mind focused on sex. Brad | 2007-08-19 10:32:44 |
| 711 | 4750 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] "Sounds like you may need to work on the relaxation some before the masturbation and orgasm. She must also value the pleasure of masturbation and sex rather than trying so hard to experience orgasm. So you might suggest the idea of her not having an orgasm, but simply to explore pleasure, and the same for you." hmmm.. i may sound a bit arrogant but...& i did all the above. we've been very intimate and i wasn't even expecting anything, as i was enjoying the whole experience of jsut "loving her". at the end of the session, she did ask for orgasm, when i wasn't even asking or thinking of it. so.. she did seem to have enjoyed it. "Try taking a hot shower shower and being intimate. Relax and cuddle. Try intimacy without the need for sex and orgasms." did already. at the end, she wants to come. and if i can't make her come, then she'll do it herself with her technique...:? "Have her read some erotic stories out loud or have her tell you her sexual fantasies to get her mind focused on sex." :? we've been through all that already... and i know her fantasies and these are the ones i am telling her out loud for her to come... with her technique, cos that's the only way (or rather the easiest) for her to come "quickly" and just release the pressure. sometimes, without me around, she'd read some sexual fantasies online so that she can come. thus, the sexual stories do work, but that's about it. Sigh... Brad | 2007-08-20 00:01:40 |
| 711 | 4751 | I don't know if it will be of help, but reading the article about outercourse may help you understand how she came to need to hump your arm if she desires to experience orgasm. Instead of using your arm encourage her to masturbate to orgasm as she does when she is alone. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/outer.htm I am guessing that you are a female couple but others believe you are a male/female couple, you may want to clarify, though it probably wont influence our advise. I understand her desire for orgasm, but she may need to deal with some degree of frustration if she is to learn a new technique. When she desires orgasm you may need to work on helping her to relax, or even take a cold shower with her. When she is relaxed or the next time you have sex explore her body for erogenous zones. Keep her breathing and mentally focused on sex. She may need to work on not having orgasms, as strange as that may sound. I am not going to pretend this will be a quick and easy process. Her pain during penetration may be related to her menstrual cycle, as it doesn't occur all the time. Encourage her to explore penetration while alone throughout an entire menstrual cycle to see if there is a time penetration is painful. If she finds she can do it without pain at all times, then encourage her to continue to do it alone for several months, but don't include it in your partnered experiences. You don't want her mind to believe solo penetration will lead to partnered penetration. If you are both open to the idea, you can explore anal stimulation and penetration, which may help her experience orgasm in a new way. I wish I could be of more help. Brad | 2007-08-20 13:02:24 |
| 711 | 4752 | Her desire to sleep or inability to stay awake after orgasm is likely related to the production of the neurohormone oxytocin 1 to 5 minutes after orgasm. [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurohormone]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurohormone | 2007-08-20 15:14:25 |
| 711 | 4756 | Hi Brad, thank you for your multiple advices. i will try to do the latest one, as i am also running out of ideas. i never thought of her actually penetrating herself, although i got a feeling she might have an issue with that. to clarify, yes we are a lesbian couple :D sorry for the missunderstanding :) thanks for the help of the rest in this forum. it is a really cool and nice forum i must say. thanks a lot! Cheers! | 2007-08-21 00:58:08 |
| 712 | 4745 | Hi,everyone. I know it is weird,but I am 30 years old and my clitoris is as sensitive as a brick. I have orgasms only through& the G-spot(once or twice a year). Have you ever heard about people like me? Is it possible to be done something?I would appreciate any help! Thank you. | 2007-08-18 18:34:37 |
| 712 | 4746 | Hi Tedi, Perhaps you may wish to check with a doc or NP to see if you have clitoral adhesions? I think Brad has an entire section about this on the& website.... Brad can you locate this for her..? I am not sying that it definitely is that, but if there is adhesions or if the clitoral hood is fused to the clitoris or redundant, then maybe it is interfering with sensation. | 2007-08-18 22:33:44 |
| 712 | 4747 | Hi, Please see the information linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_21.htm#7 www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/adhesio.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_3.htm Brad | 2007-08-19 01:03:36 |
| 715 | 4763 | Hello there, In Part 4 of your article on the female sexual nervous system you mention that when a woman suffers from performance anxiety or poor self-esteem, her body may not be able to experience sexual pleasure. Therefore, only focusing on the body and not the mind& may not help things. However, then you write, "Unfortunately, treating the mind is beyond the scope of this article." My question is, what places would you suggest to go that would treat the mind? Are there any good books that would explore this topic? [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_4.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_4.htm | 2007-08-27 09:58:26 |
| 715 | 4764 | Hi, I'm afraid I am better at the nuts and bolts of sex than understanding the mind, though the female body is extremely complex too. I have spent my time researching the body rather than the mind, which means I don't know how to begin to fix the mind. It is one thing to say the mind can be a major factor, and another to actually understand how it is, and the solution. You probably need to ask this question of someone who has explored the psychological aspects of female sexuality. Perhaps a Google search will turn up the answers to seek. Even when addressing the physical side of female sexuality I can only offer very basic common sense solutions, not medical treatments. I may help women to understand the cause, but I don't necessarily provide a solution. The solutions I provide aren't exactly rocket science, as anyone can suggest that a woman explore her body by touching herself and masturbating.& I believe all the shared experiences on the website help women more than my advise does, as it helps women to know others are like them, and what they did to resolve problems. Brad | 2007-08-27 15:23:11 |
| 716 | 4765 | Hi there.. :) If anyone could help me with my "problem"/"worry" that would be really awesome.. I'm not sure if this is normal when taking the Pill, but I've been taking it for maybe almost 2 years now.. but..& Here's the problem.. I've started having my Menstrual symptoms, cramps, bit crankiness, and the normal bleeding for the beginning of my cycle.. But, my "period" started 6 days early. Is this normal for someone who has been on the pill that long? I'm sorry my question isn't greatly worded.. Kind of hard for me to get out what I meant. >.< Any help would be great though. :) | 2007-08-27 17:22:09 |
| 716 | 4766 | [user=3008]TragedyGraves[/user] wrote: "Hi there.. :) If anyone could help me with my "problem"/"worry" that would be really awesome.. I'm not sure if this is normal when taking the Pill, but I've been taking it for maybe almost 2 years now.. but..& Here's the problem.. I've started having my Menstrual symptoms, cramps, bit crankiness, and the normal bleeding for the beginning of my cycle.. But, my "period" started 6 days early. Is this normal for someone who has been on the pill that long? I'm sorry my question isn't greatly worded.. Kind of hard for me to get out what I meant. >.< Any help would be great though. :) " Let's see if I got this right. You have the issue of your period being 6 days early even when you are on the pill? I don't think there is anything wrong. The pill, whichever one you are taking, hormone levels are different. When I took mine, I had little "pink" pills and the white ones after I finished the month. If you switched to a different pack (month, or pack all together) it could be different. Did you read the "manual"? I haven't taken birth control for a while, lol, but my periods also came early and for me at least, they were more painful than ever. I took Yaz, one with& a lot heavier amount of hormones in it and the other with less. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. You could always try looking at the website of the birth control pill, everything happens to be on the internet now a days. | 2007-08-27 21:48:20 |
| 716 | 4767 | Thanks for your reply. I have read the Manual that comes with each set, but there wasn't much in there to help me -.-; After checking around online though, I'm beginning to wonder if my pills aren't strong enough or something. Thank's a lot though! :D | 2007-08-27 23:29:16 |
| 716 | 4768 | Can I ask, did or rather do you (because you are still taking them), have issues with nervous break down? Like, you forgot to take it by 1 hour off, and you broke down crying? lol. Or, your chest got bigger? In general, you were a time bomb, lol. Best way to describe it. I don't know, strong hormones for me did more damage. I have long hair, I'm 5'6'' and 1/2. My hair goes to my pelvic bone, the bone that sticks out below the belly button. lol. There was a time you couldn't grab it with one hand, I lost a lot of my hair from birth control pills. My breasts got a lot heavier, I had "white stuff" on my nipples, I'm assuming I made milk. Back pain got worse. The only positive, lol, my cyst pain wasn't there as much as it was with the less hormone pills. Either way, before you switch, talk to your gynecologist. If you have a good one, mine wasn't any help! lol. | 2007-08-27 23:40:58 |
| 716 | 4769 | Well, no.. Sometimes I don't take the pill at the same time every day.. Maybe that's the problem? And I never really experienced any of the things you've listed. So, I dunno? Maybe it is just from taking it at random times sometimes.. Hmm. And my first Gyno was not that good at anything, so she never really explained much to me.. It was more like "Heres a pack of pills, figure it out yourself." With my new one, I haven't seen her much, to talk about this.. I do have an appointment coming up, so I do plan on talking to her about switching and everything else too ^^; | 2007-08-27 23:47:12 |
| 716 | 4770 | lol, you're supposed to take it at the same time. It tells you that, lol. My gynecologist had a thing out for me, lol. She wasn't the gentlest of ladies, I had to get ultrasounds done. She never believed me either, nor did the midwife when I only stated more than 3 times I was a virgin. lol, should get& a sticker& on my forhead for now. "I'm a virgin". lol. Oh well. But, yes, take it during the same time! You are supposed to. lol. | 2007-08-28 00:15:22 |
| 716 | 4771 | Oh, lol I know I'm supposed to take it at the same time. Sometimes I forget so my timing gets a little off, lol. I appriciate you taking the time to reply to me, lol. :) | 2007-08-28 00:24:35 |
| 716 | 4772 | You're welcome. I was in the same boat as you. I don't take it anymore, lol, now it's just a matter of sucking it up with cyst pain. Some things don't always come easy in life. | 2007-08-28 00:32:40 |
| 721 | 4783 | I know that girls have asked before about soreness during/after sex, and the usual answer is "lots of foreplay and lubrication." But what if we've already been doing that? My boyfriend is very considerate and always goes down on me before having sex. We use lots of lubrication-- we have a silicone based one that we like, but we've also tried water based. I don't get sore every single time, but probably more than half the time. Sometimes it seems like its because we've been doing it too much recently, or because I'm sleepy, but then there are other times when we haven't had sex for a week and I'm awake and totally into it and it still starts to hurt. Is there anything I can do about this? And I've sort of been assuming its not that unusual, but should I be worried and/or go to a doctor? | 2007-09-08 16:12:56 |
| 721 | 4784 | Hi, What part of your anatomy is becoming sore? What do you mean by sex, intercourse? Brad | 2007-09-09 09:04:58 |
| 721 | 4785 | Yes, intercourse. And, um, its hard to tell. I think the more outer part of the vagina. | 2007-09-09 15:12:58 |
| 721 | 4786 | Hi, The outer portion is where the pelvic muscles are, and is more sensitive to stimulation and irritation, because there are more nerves. I would have a look to see if your hymen is still fully or partially intact, as just because you have engaged in intercourse once doesn't mean it has completely disappeared. If it is still there then you may need to stretch it more, or possibly need a doctor to remove it. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm If your hymen isn't the problem then you may simply be too tight and need to learn& to relax your pelvic muscles and condition them and your vaginal muscles to dilation. Kegels and preparing your vagina for intercourse is addressed in the article linked to below. You may need to insert a suitably sized and shape object nightly for 15-20 minutes, over the period of a couple weeks, to condition your body to the dilation. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#prepare] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#prepare You may also need to get on top and go slow and be more gentle, perhaps he is simply being too rough. Brad | 2007-09-09 16:25:35 |
| 721 | 4787 | We've been having sex for about 9 months now. At first it did hurt a lot but it gradually went away, so I figured that was the hymen being stretched or whatever. I also do not think he is rough at all... and the strange thing is it gets sore a lot faster if I am on top. | 2007-09-09 16:27:24 |
| 721 | 4788 | It is possible you have never fully healed from the original injuries to the area. If you continue to experience pain then you may develop vaginismus, as you may expect it to hurt and your pelvic muscles contract, trying to prevent entry. I recommend finding a solution before engaging in intercourse again.& Experiment alone and together with your fingers and other objects to determine the cause and a solution. Since it hurts more with you on top, then perhaps there is hymeneal remnants that are causing the problem, as the angle of entry for his penis changes depending on the position of your bodies. You may also be less relaxed on top, if you are self conscious, or inexperienced. Brad | 2007-09-09 18:19:14 |
| 722 | 4806 | The G-spot is the female prostate. All women have one, as do all men. Therefore, all women have the ability to ejaculate! Learn about female ejaculation's ancient history, current scientific studies, where the G-spot is located, how to have G-spot orgasms, and how to get this wonderful feminine fountain flowing!& Open to both men and women, this powerpoint lecture with pics, movie clips and Q&A will tell you all you need to know about female ejaculation and the G-spot. Sat, Sept. 15 FASCINATIONS , Phoenix, AZ Pheonix's Largest Toy Emporuim Topic: Female Ejaculation and the G-spot 1:00 pm - 3:00 pm Registration: Call 480 921-8006 e-mail: Wed, Sept. 20 GATEWAY BOOKS, Santa Cruz, CA Topic: Female Ejaculation and the G-spot 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm Registration: Call 831 429-9600 e-mail: Sat, Sept. 22 CENTER FOR SEX AND CULTURE San Francisco, CA Topic: Female Ejaculation and the G-spot 1915 Mission St, between 11th and So. Van Ness 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm Registration: Call 415 255-1155 e-mail: Sun, Sept. 23 & PLEASURES OF THE HEART San Rafael, CA Topic: Female Ejaculation and the G-spot 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm Registration: Call 415 482-9899 e-mail: Tue, Sept. 25 & ONE TASTE URBAN RETREAT CENTER San Francisco, CA Topic: Female Ejaculation and the G-spot 6:30 pm - 9:00 pm Registration: Call 415 244-5129 e-mail: Sat, Nov. 10 & FASCINATIONS, Denver, CO Topic: Female Ejaculation and the G-spot 1:00 pm - 3:00 pm Registration: Call 480 921-8006 e-mail: FEMALE EJACULATION AND THE G-SPOT Five Day Workshop for Women and Couples with Author and Expert DEBORAH SUNDAHL Tantra Art of Being[sup]®[/sup] Instructor Devaka Hoffmann Treat yourself to five days of awakening the G-spot and uncorking a river of pleasure in a lovely and secure seminar house on private land in the USA or Europe. Bring back the Goddess juices in all her sensual glory! Learn to find the G-spot and how to create ejaculate. Understand how the G-spot massage can awaken the G-spot's natural state of ultra sensitivity, bringing glorious G-spot orgasms. Learn Tantra techniques that encourage female ejaculation. Co-facilitated with Devaka R. Hofmann, licensed Art of Being teacher and psychologist. Devaka creates a supporitve group space that honors your process. Female Ejaculation Workshops Dates and Locations FOR WOMEN Berlin, Germany October 17-21, 2007 contact: Northern California, USA & Feb 27- Mar 2, 2008 Contact: Black Forest, Germany May 9-13, 2008 Contact: FOR COUPLES London, England November 14-18, 2008 Contact: Nikki TEACHER'S TRAINING Tuscany, Italy July 12-18, 2008 Contact:& | 2007-09-13 20:29:22 |
| 722 | 4814 | Well, thank you, Brad. It sound's interesting. | 2007-09-15 13:18:11 |
| 723 | 4809 | Hi. Im new to this forum. First of all i must say, awesome website!! =D I think I started out on it since I was in kindergarden& (and now im& almost 17)& and my relatives saw me doing it before. It was only last year when I started to consider that it might be masturbation.& My relatives& thought I was somewhat controlling my bladder and always told me to stop doing it as it is unhealthy to control your bladder and might result in kidney stones, but heck I didnt stop because it felt really nice. I feel it's best done with a half full bladder.& I usually put a pillow in between my thighs while lying on the bed on my stomach, or sometimes the edge of the table. Then I tense up my legs and lower abdomen.& I mean seriously tense them up real hard. Sometimes I quiver my legs a little. In about a minute or 2, I feel a really nice sensation& in my& private area (not sure where specifically) and can feel that area sort of having multiple contractions. Within less than& 30 secs, the feeling disappears, the contractions stop. Then I can do the whole process again, but the feeling isnt as good as the initial, and& the contractions barely happen.& I don't ejaculate or anything and it's really a tiring process (made me& perspire when I was younger). And I dont understand one more part. Straight after what happened, when I try to pee, the pee doesnt flow out smoothly. It is kinda like on and off. Anyone can explain what has happened? Really confused. Ive been doing it& for more than 11 years and yet not understand what I'm doing. Please help me! Anyway, I have tried direct stimulation of the clitoris by myself before and it didnt work =(( My clitoris just started to hurt. | 2007-09-14 14:02:35 |
| 723 | 4810 | You are simply doing what feels good. Thats what mastubation is and thats how you learn how to do it. If it feels good, there's no need to worry about it. It won't cause health problems and I've heard of plenty of other girls, in here and elsewhere, who use similar techniques to yours.... I'm not sure about the urination after masturbation. Somebody else might post a suggestion on that. It isn't something I noticed in myself or heard somebody ask about previously. It's funny because my mother always used to ask me if I needed the loo and to just go if I ever fumbled around between my legs and usually it was just the scratch an itch, I didn't do it to control my bladder unless I had no choice but to wait and was busting to go. I didn't masturbate as a child like you did. | 2007-09-14 16:18:53 |
| 723 | 4811 | well, for us guys, when we're aroused, the mucles and organs constrict the urethra so we aren't able to urinate while erect. Immediately following orgasm, we have to push a bit harder to urinate and it doesn't flow smoothly because the area is still somewhat engorged with blood that hasn't flowed away yet.& I would assume women have a similar experience following orgasm where the swollen organs and muscles have contracted on the urethra and restricted urine flow temporarily. | 2007-09-14 17:52:55 |
| 723 | 4812 | as for touching your clitoris, you just need to take the time to find the right way to touch it.& every clitoris responds differently to touch.& you may need to touch it indirectly, i.e. squeezing through the labia or wearing panties when you touch it so the sensation isn't so strong that it becomes painful.& also, try something a bit softer than your finger.& if you have something that vibrates, like a vibrating toothbrush (with a spare head) you could try indirectly vibrating your clitoris, again, either through the adjacent flesh or through cloth. and yes, by your description, you are masturbating, and the contractions and the pleasant glowing feeling is orgasm. | 2007-09-14 17:57:09 |
| 723 | 4813 | In my article about the female sexual nervous system, linked to below, I mention what I call "tension orgasms." The orgasm isn't caused by stimulation of an erogenous zone like the clitoris, but rather intentionally tightening muscles in the pelvis and thighs. Several women mention urination or holding their urine plays a part in their masturbation activities. You might do a word search on the main website. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_3.htm#1 Brad | 2007-09-14 20:29:45 |
| 723 | 4838 | Hi Raven, I also can't pee normally straight after sex or masturbation. I always thought it's because& everything is swollen and blocks the urethra...no idea if this is the answer. | 2007-09-23 10:18:29 |
| 723 | 4844 | I think the reason I wasn't sure about the peeing thing is because I've never tried to pee straight after masturbation. I have noticed though that if I need the loo before I start, the need to pee wears off once I get going so I suppose thats the same thing. | 2007-09-24 08:07:08 |
| 723 | 4902 | Hi, I am also new to this forum. I was reading what Raven posted and I have always done the same thing since I was like 6 only I would masturbate& sitting and always have wondered the same thing for years. Is this what an orgasm feels like. It was warm contractions for like 30 seconds and like raven I could do it again right when I was done. I literally thought of the word sex when I was younger and I could achieve these feelings. Now I am 20 and I don't think I have ever orgasmed. I try masturbating and with my parther but when I masturbate I feel these feelings I used to feel when I was younger...but THATS IT? that was an orgasm all these years I have been orgasming....thats it? I hope not! Please help? | 2007-09-30 16:49:51 |
| 723 | 4903 | "....but THATS IT? that was an orgasm all these years I have been orgasming....thats it? I hope not! Please help?" I would very much hope not, too, were& I you! I am a man so must be very careful here and offer this hesitantly as all women will know much more. When younger, I was sufficiently fortunate to take part in an 'active survey', as it was termed, in which 37 women, if I remember correctly, were give orgasms by males & and females masturbating them or by solo masturbation. Intense pleasure, muscular contractions, a feeling of full breasts all followed by a sense of great relaxation and a warming feeling, were the reports of all women.& I have learned, since, that orgasms can differ between women but, if you do not have the above feelings, perhaps you have a very pleasurable journey of discovery still before you!& A glass of wine, an hot bath, nudity and privacy, a warm bed, a sexy book,& wandering, lightly circling& finger-tips& work wonders. Good luck. | 2007-10-01 01:13:44 |
| 724 | 4815 | This is my first post here and I must thank you for the site which is very educational. We notice in the "fantasies", many women fantasise about sex with another woman/other women. My wife suggests this is because the writers have had rough experience with a man, or feel they lose control of the situation when with a man, or just prefer the gentleness of most women. Would anybody care to comment, please? | 2007-09-15 23:52:28 |
| 724 | 6188 | Let's face it, women are sexier!& Unless a man is muscular and wears nice clothes, most men are just kind of sloppy looking.& They think their pot bellies don't show.& Well even pudgy women are really sexy!& In fact their breasts look even better with some flesh on them!& I like to see women crossing their thighs and/or squeezing them& together.& Most men don't even try to look good!& Also, I think women like to fantasize about other women because it's kind of like fantasizing about themselves! | 2008-11-02 15:39:03 |
| 724 | 6192 | Mysecret,& you have put we men in our place! :D Would you care to comment on the belief that women are turned on, far more than are men by other than a woman's body,& by other characteristics of a man besides his body, please? I wonder about your last sentence, too. Women tell me frequently that they never think sexually of another woman's body. They notice shape but it is more a feeling of competition. | 2008-11-03 15:19:34 |
| 724 | 6193 | Dude, did you forget about your first post here?& What you said was "We notice in the "fantasies", many women fantasise about sex with another woman/other women. " Just take another look at any chapter of the female masturbation section on the_clitoris.com, you can't deny they are full of confessions of enjoying fantasies about other women.& My friend, I really don't think most women will want to discuss this in person, let alone with a man!& So either they are in denial, or they are keeping secrets to themselves!! | 2008-11-03 21:39:07 |
| 724 | 6200 | Heh heh I won't lie and say it's a little amusing watching you two fight a little... but then again I won't lie about having fantasies with me and other women or whatever. Some people say it's natural! :D& Plus some women like men and women (bi) so yeah.... I don't know what im putting on the table so i'm just going to stop there if ya don't mind.... XD ♥♥♥ Kayleigh♥♥♥ | 2008-11-04 22:04:04 |
| 724 | 6207 | Yeah, Kayleigh... I'm straight so obviously think of males, but it's the female fantasies.... I don't think would actually do it with woman but you never know.& The right one at the right time...& in my fantasies I do it all the time, think of hot women and how sexy they look and imagine them bouncing in bed with me, or masturbating I love that best but again I really don't think I'd do it with a woman, but& LOVE to think about it.!!!& It gets me offff like no other.& Love sex with my man also .& Think i'm bi??& | 2008-11-05 04:04:03 |
| 724 | 6219 | Farmer, to answer your question: "Would you care to comment on the belief that women are turned on, far more than are men by other than a woman's body,& by other characteristics of a man besides his body, please?" I think you mean by this, is there anything that turns me on about men besides physically?& Yes... for some reason, when& a guy does something really soft or gentle, even if he's fixing the plumbing or working on the car, I get turned on.& When a guy is nice or gentlemanly, that turns me on... I get a rush of blood to the clit from these kinds of things.... Also, a man's smoothe& deep voice on the phone.... I forget what he is saying because of my sexy thoughts aroused by his voice. And I love to watch/listen to a man play acoustic guitar or any instrument that isn't too loud, even drums if they are just playing some rhythms, not just totally thrashing them.& For some reason this gets me hot.& Gives me goose flesh and quicker breathing. I love to see a man reading a book or writing something like a story or poetry.& It makes me tickle down there................& and none of these has to do with a man's body, but I do prefer a physically fit male body, not necessarily big muscles, in fact bodybuilders turn me OFFF.& Go figure.& Human sexuality can be so complex | 2008-11-06 13:55:55 |
| 724 | 6272 | Hi,brad30,what is your opinion on this point?After reading these,I am still so confused. | 2008-11-24 16:30:06 |
| 724 | 6275 | I think social conditioning may contribute to this phenomenon. Hitherto the world is "ruled" (more than political ruling) by males. They have enough time to objectify their special preferences and make them seem universal and unconditional. Sexiness of women is one of them. Biologically only men feel women sexy. However the& propa ganda manipulate by the rulers& i.e.& men have made sexiness of women objectified, universal and unconditional. They portray women's sexiness as if& that not only to humanity, but also to other animals, such as the fairy tale of "beauty and the beast". Under such social condition those originally not attracted& to women would be trained to feel women sexy too. That may be one cause of this phenomenon. | 2008-11-24 22:24:56 |
| 724 | 6551 | [user=8277]plurabelle[/user] wrote: "I think social conditioning may contribute to this phenomenon. Hitherto the world is "ruled" (more than political ruling) by males. They have enough time to objectify their special preferences and make them seem universal and unconditional. Sexiness of women is one of them. Biologically only men feel women sexy. However the& propa ganda manipulate by the rulers& i.e.& men have made sexiness of women objectified, universal and unconditional. They portray women's sexiness as if& that not only to humanity, but also to other animals, such as the fairy tale of "beauty and the beast". Under such social condition those originally not attracted& to women would be trained to feel women sexy too. That may be one cause of this phenomenon." I think you're right! | 2009-03-28 02:41:06 |
| 724 | 6552 | Sex Differences in Visual Attention to Sexually Explicit Videos: A Preliminary Study ABSTRACT Introduction.& Although men appear to be more interested in sexual stimuli than women, this difference is not completely understood. Eye-tracking technology has been used to investigate visual attention to still sexual images; however, it has not been applied to moving sexual images. Aim.& To investigate whether sex difference exists in visual attention to sexual videos. Methods.& Eleven male and 11 female healthy volunteers were studied by our new methodology. Main Outcome Measures.& The subjects viewed two sexual videos (one depicting sexual intercourse and one not) in which several regions were designated for eye-gaze analysis in each frame. Visual attention was measured across each designated region according to gaze duration. Sex differences, the region attracting the most attention, and visually favored sex were evaluated. Results.& In the nonintercourse clip, gaze time for the face and body of the actress was significantly shorter among women than among men. Gaze time for the face and body of the actor and nonhuman regions was significantly longer for women than men. The region attracting the most attention was the face of the actress for both men and women. Men viewed the opposite sex for a significantly longer period than did women, and women viewed their own sex for a significantly longer period than did men. However, gaze times for the clip showing intercourse were not significantly different between sexes. Conclusions.& A sex difference existed in visual attention to a sexual video without heterosexual intercourse; men viewed the opposite sex for longer periods than did women, and women viewed the same sex for longer periods than did men. There was no statistically significant sex difference in viewing patterns in a sexual video showing heterosexual intercourse, and we speculate that men and women may have similar visual attention patterns if the sexual stimuli are sufficiently explicit. [url=www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/121459658/abstract] www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/121459658/abstract | 2009-03-29 18:13:20 |
| 725 | 4818 | Hi. My boyfriend inserted his finger into my vagina. Probably the first time anything has ever went into my vagina. But his finger could only go in like an inch and a half or so and he said& he felt this barrier; Like a very small opening and he couldnt insert his finger any deeper. Am I experiencing vaginismus? I'm kinda worried. I hope it isnt gonna be prolonged. I was kinda nervous while he was trying to penetrate and was in a sitting position while he did it. Now& I feel& a slight discomfort at the bottom of my vagina opening. Slightly sore,& very slight.& I dont know what is the problem there. I know its not vaginal dryness because I was having my period& so it was kinda wet down there,& plenty of lubricant.& I got a feeling it's because my hymen tore slightly. But i shouldnt feel any discomfort& or whatsoever& after the whole penetrating thing happened right? So I dont really know what is happening to me. :(& Someone help pleasee. THanks. | 2007-09-17 10:07:41 |
| 725 | 4819 | Using plenty of lube, start practising yourself with your own fingers. Perhaps in the shower when everything is wet and slippery anyway and your hands nice and clean but make sure there is no soap or anything on them and keep the nails short on the fingers you intend to insert. You can insert at your own pace. Another idea is to insert when you are aroused and producing natural lubrication. When aroused, your vagina relaxes more and opens up. Try being in different positions to see which you find the easiest and most comfortable. Sitting might not be the best position. Feeling slightly sore is usual but that should wear off once you've been doing this a few times and get used to it. This will help wear your hymen away slowly and help avoid the larger tears and bleeding that arise from trying to insert something of penis size when nothing has been in there before. Once a finger can go in ok, graduate to two. You can also use other things like tapered candles with condoms on or even veggies with condoms on. If you use other objects, make sure you warm them a little first because a cold object feels even colder when you try and insert it into the vagina and this might make it tense up a bit more. I have vaginismus and use Dilators and found that standing them in a glass of warm water was the best way to go. I couldn't insert them otherwise, they felt horribly cold and they are plastic and don't feel cold to your hands. I'd warm them slightly too much so that when I applied lube, that would cool them slightly but not too much and they'd be just right then. Also do kegel exercises where you squeeze your PC muscles, the ones you use to stop yourself peeing. You can find these by stopping yourself mid flow during a pee but only do this once or twice to find the muscles because it's not good to keep doing it. You can do kegels wherever and whenever and nobody can notice. They help strengthen the PC muscles and give you more control. A therapist of mine told me to squeeze the muscles and hold for 10 seconds and then relax completely and then repeat. There are also reverse kegels which fewer people know about. These are good for when you are inserting. Basically, you push out very slightly and this actually opens the vagina up more. They seem to help more than usual kegels for actual inserting. Don't rush this because that will just cause set backs. Take your time and you'll be fine. BTW, one of the most common things that women with vag and their partners report is the "Wall". Like a wall in the vagina that prevents anything getting through. The number of times I saw written in the vag support group "Hit that wall". Don't despair though, even if you have vag and you may not, it is easily curable by doing the above things but there is a whole lot more to it so if there is anything else, I'll try to help in what way I can. | 2007-09-17 14:59:18 |
| 725 | 4820 | Here are some references on the website that may be of help: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#prepare www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_9/qa9_9.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_7/qa7_11.htm Off site: www.vaginismus-awareness-network.org/ Brad | 2007-09-17 17:16:11 |
| 726 | 4821 | Is it true that women get the most pleasure from her partner going down her with his mouth and tongue, ? | 2007-09-18 03:37:37 |
| 726 | 4822 | I doubt this is true for all women. Some women don't like it at all for whatever reason. Other women do like it and rate it higher than IC anyday. We& are all different. | 2007-09-18 07:33:29 |
| 726 | 4823 | What do you like best its important know what mature women like best | 2007-09-18 07:50:45 |
| 726 | 4824 | Hi, I believe I state on the website that oral sex results in more orgasms than any other type of partnered sex, as that was my impression at the time that I wrote the article on cunnilingus. I believe if having to choose between one or the other, more women would choose oral sex over intercourse, based on one survey. Based on a survey on the website the frequency of orgasm during partnered sex is as follows: Vaginal Intercourse with added clitoral stimulation 60% Oral Stimulation of vulva & 57% Manual Stimulation of vulva & 51% Manual Stimulation of vagina & 45% Vaginal Intercourse without added clitoral stimulation 37% We don't know if every occurrence of these activities was intended to result in orgasm, or if they were simply foreplay. Brad | 2007-09-18 07:57:35 |
| 726 | 4826 | As in all things, there is no accounting for tastes. Everything I've read indicates that a large number of women enjoy cunnilingus, but sex without open communication with your partner is like a minefield. | 2007-09-18 10:37:02 |
| 726 | 4881 | I may not be following protocal, but have just joined the discussion forum for the simple fact that I am deeply in love with my wife and live for the taste of her.& It is a HUGE part of me and our intimacey.& I love to talk about it... | 2007-09-28 11:53:59 |
| 726 | 4883 | The first orgasm I gave my wife-to-be when we were young was by cunnilingus, as she lied on her back on a beach in the dark. People were strolling& past some& 30 yards away and their& outlines could be seen, my& fiancee fearing discovery, but she could not stop and orgasmed a number of times under my tongue. It is a great memory. | 2007-09-28 14:01:23 |
| 726 | 6782 | We are all different. Personally, I think a variety is the best. Eg, a guy guys tongue to her clit, then penetrates his cock while rubbing her clit. For me that is the best feeling. | 2009-08-19 18:14:20 |
| 727 | 4831 | In passing, a late-forties woman said to me the other day that, whilst she enjoys looking at pictures of naked 'hunks' now whereas,& when younger, she did not, she much prefers the penis to be soft and hanging& rather than hard, which she finds 'threatening'. She told me, too, that she likes to see the man's 'big' hand abou to lift the penis. Her imagination 'races ahead'! Would other women care to comment, please? | 2007-09-19 11:27:23 |
| 727 | 5380 | Since my sex drive kicked in at age 12, one of my greatest pleasures has come from viewing photographs of extremely well-endowed men (or savoring memories of such photographs while masturbating). Oversized penises thrill me, erect or not. A loose, low-hanging scrotum is a nice bonus too, when it accompanies a huge penis. All of this is something of a fetish, in the sense that in seeking a husband, genital size would be important to me. (Because I am most attracted to men under 5'8", a large endowment would be harder to find, but visually even more impressive than on a tall man.) I fantasize about posing a man and photographing him nude from different angles, experimenting with jockstraps, Speedos, etc., and having him go out in public wearing thin sweatpants with nothing underneath. It is BS that women don't enjoy visual stimulation. I am living proof that even some very young girls do. | 2008-01-31 14:59:58 |
| 727 | 5388 | I was& at the Louvre lately.& I know it is art but the the very realistic French sculptures of gorgeous naked mythological men were such a huge turn on. I personally love looking at naked attractive men and always did.& A big turn on is a shirtless man with jeans low on the waist that you can just see the begining of the pubic hair :dude: Funny enough I also like looking at soft penises and not errect ones. Your title fooled me, I expected actual photos of naked hunks :D | 2008-02-02 01:54:32 |
| 727 | 5410 | Ladies, thank you for interesting replies. Hilary, I admire your early sexual awareness and your continuing to pleasure yourself. The next years could be some of your most intensely pleasurable with your new freedom. May I encourage you not to give up looking for well-hung shorter men. Some I have seen have been very impressive and, interestingly, uncut. Do you have a preference? Heavy, well-filled and low-hanging balls are a turn-on for many women. Kay, you are quite correct about women being visual, too.& In a 2002 survey of nearly 2 000 women in Australasia, 78% could bring themselves to a cum whilst looking at naked or semi-naked men or women.& Of these, 54% liked seeing high, well-rounded and parted buttocks on both men and women.& Of course, a great many csn come to very high arousal by watching a group of men harden as the woman strips. With your liking of low-cut jeans you are showing us a woman's use of her imagination, whereas many men like to see it all out there! When you are looking at soft cocks, are you imagining them hardening as you watch, or do you prefer them to remain soft and hangng? Would you ladies care to& tell us if you prefer shaved or unshaven pubes on men? | 2008-02-02 20:32:16 |
| 727 | 5519 | (not a woman but would like to comment on one thing) & Not all men like to see it all during periods of visual stimulation like my self prefer looking at pictures of women in bathing suits, underwear, and even just a little panty and bra tease through a layer of clothing can being such arousal to a lot of guys I am not the one in a million that are like that. Sometimes it's just boring to watch the home run as apposed to loading the bases for the grand slam so to speak. | 2008-02-22 21:53:51 |
| 729 | 4834 | Hello all. I previously posted a topic similar to this. I expressed& concern about the size of my clitoral hood and labia minora. Since that time I have been to three different gynocologists for their personal opinion, including one who is well known for performing female genital surgeries. When I asked the gynocologists what they thought about the size of my anatomy, I was told that my labial size is& "average" and my clitoral hood size "much larger than average." It is the size of my clitoral hood that has been an embarassment to me for some time. It has interfered with my ability to be intimate with anyone because I am so self-concious. Everyone on here was very supportive of me and encouraged me to embrace the size and shape of my vulva the last time I posted, but I am having a difficult time doing so. It has gotten to the point that I worry about this all of the time, and am absolutely TERRIFIED of having sex because I don't want anyone to see what I look like. It is a major stress in my life. Although I don't agree with this type of surgery and although I am terrified of it, I don't see any other option if I ever hope to have an intimate relationship. I was wondering if anyone has facts, statistics or even opinions about female genital surgery that could help to further aid my decision? | 2007-09-22 08:05:50 |
| 729 | 4836 | If any guy had a problem with your clitoral hood and left you for it, which I seriously doubt, then you'd have your large clitoral hood to thank very much for weeding out a pure arsehole.....and saving you from a lot of other potential trouble as well. If he found that a problem, imagine what others things he could find to be a problem. I'd think twice before surgery. It's sad that women feel they need to have things mutilated in order to make it what they think it should be. Just because it's larger than average doesn't mean it is incorrect. It is as correct as any smaller clitoral hood. Vulvas are all so different in all aspects anyway that I doubt most guys would really notice. I know how it is being worried about sex with me& suffering from vaginismus which prevents me from having IC and surgery won't help me with that but I still realise that any guy who left me because of it wouldn't be worth my time and if they only wanted me for IC anyway...well, vag would be doing me a very good favour wouldn't it by finding me a guy who really cares and sees me for more than a sex object to provide him with pleasure and preventing those who aren't good enough from getting their evil way.>:) | 2007-09-22 11:24:25 |
| 729 | 4841 | Thank you, Canis. That is a very good point. :) | 2007-09-23 18:58:48 |
| 729 | 4855 | Hi, I present my views and what I know of the matter in the Q&A linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_11.htm#8 Brad | 2007-09-25 07:52:40 |
| 729 | 4861 | I say to each their own.& Labiaplasty is just another form of cosmetic surgery.& If one accepts plastic surgery, then I see no reason why they shouldn't have labiaplasty.& They just need to understand the potential ramifications of a poor surgery is all.& Men and women both get facelifts, liposuction, tummy tucks, breast implants, penile implants, nose jobs, etc.& Is it superficial?& Sure.& But like I said, to each their own. | 2007-09-25 19:21:33 |
| 729 | 4863 | Thank you, Brad. I read all of it. I think for me this is more of a psychological problem than an actual physical one, and that is sad. I& know it's ridiculous that I feel deformed and ugly because I have a prominent vulva. The only thing that remains is to really convince myself that I am OK the way I am. I really am NOT keen on hacking my vulva up& so I can feel more attractive and desirable. Even reading what I just typed makes me realize how silly my concerns are. It's just hard to get it out of my head. My issue is definitely& with my self-esteem, not an actual deformity. | 2007-09-25 22:15:02 |
| 729 | 4865 | Think unique. | 2007-09-26 02:44:40 |
| 729 | 4870 | If the problem is psychological then I suspect that, even with surgery, this won't go away and your worries will just transfer over to something else instead once the vulva issue is sorted. Many people with BDD have surgery to try and correct a percieved flaw that rules their life but then their worries go onto something else and they start fretting about that instead and once you end up in that downword spiral, it's hard to get out and people with BDD who had loads of surgery done to try and do away with their worries actually ruined their looks, looked much worse than before and then ended up commiting suicide as a result because they never actually confronted the real problem. We should learn from these unfortunate people. This is what is so risky about cosmetic surgery of any kind unless it is to correct damage in an accident or something or just help them look normal say if they have a cleft palette etc.... It stops people from confronting the source of the issue and thats where the problem lies, not the little flaw that problem makes it's sufferer worry about. The whole cosmetic surgery just for vanity also feeds into the whole thing in society that states, "you need to look like this, your breasts need to be this size or shape, your nose needs to be that size or shape...and if they are not, you are unattractive and guys/girls won't want you blah blah blah". I think it would be wiser to try and deal with the psychological aspect which is what this all stems from rather than just trying to do away with one of the results of it. If you chop a weed down to the ground, it will just grow again, you have to get shut of the roots and then the rest will die. The prospect is a very scary one but I think the only way you'll get it into your head that this won't put men off is if you started seeing a guy and got intimate with him and found& he couldn't care less about it. You don't have to mention it and he probably won't either and then that will help change your mindset and make you accept that guys won't be put off by it. From what I read when guys contribute their opinions to places, the thing that turns them on the most is women who are happy and comfortable with their bodies and they are turned off by women who are constanly whittling and whinging about aspects of their body etc... I will have to mention my vag before anything like that happened because, obviously, it would prevent us from having IC..so I know how difficult this kind of situation is. | 2007-09-26 08:12:48 |
| 729 | 4871 | BDD = Body Dysmorphic Disorder en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder | 2007-09-26 08:34:56 |
| 729 | 4872 | I think I have BDD. | 2007-09-26 09:30:22 |
| 729 | 4873 | Maybe counselling for that may help and will also help confirm if you have it or a related disorder. It might help you to understand the underlying problem a little more which also helps you to accept and not worry so much about percieved flaws. | 2007-09-26 16:14:12 |
| 729 | 4892 | Naja you need to accept yourself for who you are. We all have 'something wrong' with us. Don't dwell on the what's wrong, congratulate yourself for what is right with your body and what you do with other people that shows them how skilled you are. As Canis Lupess says we can all have misgivings about certain parts of our anatomy and having surgery to enhance the problem areas only leads to more things wrong with our bodies. Please learn to love yourself for who you are and I am sure no man would notice your large clitoral hood.(I think I would probably be delighted in the experience of one) After you accept your own body your partners will accept it too. I am sure that meeting someone for the first time will be worrying for you about wether they accept the look of your vulva. Try very hard not to allow the worry to get in the way of the relationship, this will most certainly lead to a loving relationship of acceptance. I have 2 feet that are differeant to the accepted norm. They still support and allow me to walk, perhaps I'm not sport abled but I don't worry. I'm happy with my genitals, wouldn't change any part of them, my partner accepts them happily too, although she doesn't attempt or enjoy any sexual activity now. (that's another story, unrelated to this) I am sure Naja, you area beautiful person with a beautiful body, you wouldn't be contributing to this forum if you didn't want the best. Take care and Good Luck. | 2007-09-29 05:05:11 |
| 730 | 4839 | When i have shaved& my inner labia, i can not pee& properly. It comes out of course, but not in the typical "flow", and makes me wet all over. Did i finally discover what pubic hair is for ;)& ? Has anybody else experienced this? Miss Doolittle | 2007-09-23 10:41:40 |
| 730 | 4842 | [user=223]miss doolittle[/user] wrote: "When i have shaved& my inner labia, i can not pee& properly. It comes out of course, but not in the typical "flow", and makes me wet all over. Did i finally discover what pubic hair is for ;)& ? Has anybody else experienced this? Miss Doolittle " Hello, & Maybe, I didn't get this correctly. Your inner labia? Or the outer? I never had an issue and I first never shaved/trimmed when I was younger well other than bikini. I hit puberty at 11, but, that's beside the point. I shave now, and I never had that issue, even when I didn't shave or trim. I'm not understanding what you meant, so maybe you'd care to "elaborate"? | 2007-09-23 20:23:13 |
| 730 | 4845 | Hmm, yes because it is the labia Majora that has hair grow from it, not the labia minora. Well, I never had hair grow from my L minora. I certainly wouldn't want to put a razor or any other hair removal method against those...:shock: I do a half hearted attempt at shaving the L majora but only so I don't get long hairs on them. I don't try to make them silky smooth my my legs, lol. I'm scared of doing something unpleasant, haha. It doesn't make any difference to my urination though. | 2007-09-24 08:10:55 |
| 730 | 4856 | Hi, I can only guess that your labia are sticking together a little more now so the flow of urine isn't coming straight out in a single stream, though I wouldn't expect this to be the case, as I wouldn't expect significant amounts of hair to be getting between your labia to keep them from sticking together. It is my understanding that when women spread their legs far enough their outer labia are drawn apart. If you keep your knees together I would expect your thighs may be pushing your labia closed. Perhaps you are afraid someone will see that you are now shaved, and are trying to hide this by closing your legs more than you were prior. You might simply try spreading your legs farther than you have been. You may have to practice in the shower or tub in the morning until you find a solution. Brad | 2007-09-25 08:04:22 |
| 730 | 4860 | well, obviously hair doesn't normally (if ever) grow on the inner labia.& However, I believe it's possible that shaving could cause this with certain types of outer labia.& If a woman has large, plump labia majora and tiny labia minora such that the majora would touch with the minora inside, then the removal of hair from the edge of the majora might allow them to stick together.& I know that, personally, after having trimmed my pubic hair short, my scrotum will tend to stick to my thigh until the hair grows back a little longer, so a pair of hairless labia majora could easily stick together if the minora didn't protrude between them. | 2007-09-25 19:16:00 |
| 731 | 4851 | I have problems with my marriage and I don't know what to do.& I'm afraid it's doomed.:( My husband has told me he is ashamed of me.& He has also told me he wants a woman that is younger than me, that is 40-45kg, a height of 5'6", has small breasts, a waist that isn't curvy and a small bum.& I weigh 110kg, am 5'6", age 23, have very big breasts (I need breast reduction), have a curvy waist and a big bum.& Most of my weight is due to having a lot of muscle and being a bit chubby.& I'm a very strong woman. We had an argument about it& and he told me he wanted a skinny woman because of peer pressure from people he works with as well as family (but I have never known anyone in his family to like women that skinny).& He then told me he actually liked the look of me.& When he told me he did like the look of me I got the feeling he wasn't being truthful because his body language didn't seem right.& If I tell him I don't think he was telling the truth then he gets angry with me. I've been very depressed ever since.& I wonder if most men want women that are that thin.& I think I must be ugly because I have a strong build.& It seems to me that the only thing my husband likes about me is my height.& What should I do? | 2007-09-25 03:17:59 |
| 731 | 4852 | Jah, I am an old man so cannot answer your question, shall not take much of your time, but I feel for you and encourage you to like yourself. I can tell you that many men would much prefer women other than the type you describe as your husband's choice. It is an old saying but nevertheless true that "beauty comes from within". Think beautiful, think sexy and like yourself. Very best wishes. | 2007-09-25 06:22:54 |
| 731 | 4853 | Dont be depressed.& The peer pressure is more from the media. Not much you can do about that.& Re I wonder if most men want women that are that thin. Voluptuous is great. All the best. | 2007-09-25 06:56:21 |
| 731 | 4854 | Hi, It does sound as if he is being superficial and perhaps not telling the whole truth. On the other hand, 110 kg (240 lbs) is well outside the recommended weight range for someone of your height and age.& The recommended weight range is 53-77 kg (118-168 lbs). That is sufficiently overweight to cause some to treat you and him differently. If he feels he is being rejected by his peers because of your weight, love may not be enough. When the relationship was new he may have not been as concerned about how others felt. He and others could also be concerned about your long term health. In the US, I know guys are finding girls who are underweight attractive, and they seem oblivious to that fact. I don't know if the cause is only the media. www.halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm Brad | 2007-09-25 07:43:07 |
| 731 | 4857 | Yeah, 40-45kg seems quite underweight for that height if you ask me. I have a Border collie dog of normal weight& who is nearly 22kgs and she only stands 20" high at the shoulder....imagine a woman of 5' 6" only being about twice her weight?& They'd have to be like a washboard with bones sticking out to an extent. Most guys do not find that sexy. It doesn't look healthy and women as thin as that don't give off the impression of being fertile either& and often& have problems with fertility/missed irregular periods etc...& so it goes against basic instinct to want such a thin woman. I was reading about a study done where guys were asked to pick out their favourite sillhuoette of a female outline. There was a whole row of them ranging from anorexic weight to obese and the great majority of guys went for the middle ranges with the highest hits being on those who were on the slightly heavier side of the& normal healthy& weight range. There were just a few smatterings of guys who went for the extremes on either end and I think these are more down to fetishes than anything else. Your husband& seems to be quite specific about what physical attributes he wants in a woman but, as Brad said, I think it is unrealistic and superficial. Of course, nobody can make you lose weight if you are happy as you are and certainly don't do it just to try and please your husband. If you ever did it, it would have to be for you...for your health. My mum had issues with overly large breasts too but they got smaller when she lost some weight so you could lose some weight to get your breast size down if they are causing you discomfort etc... If your husband can't accept you as you are and thinks more about what other people say and let that outweight his love for you, it might be better for you if the marriage ended. No point in being in one where your partner makes you feel ugly and depressed. | 2007-09-25 09:41:22 |
| 731 | 4858 | 45kg (99 pounds) is annorexically thin for a woman of 5'6", hell, it's bordering on unhealthy even for a woman of 5' even (very low end for a 5' woman is 97 pounds).& 40kg (88 pounds) is literally skeletal. That said, 110kg (245 pounds) for a 5'6" woman is almost 100 pounds over the medically healthy weight.& I can't imagine that at 5'6" most of that comes from extra muscle mass, even if you were a professional body builder taking steroids.& Most large, tall, male professional athletes aren't 100 pounds over their ideal weight in muscle mass. I don't mean to excuse your husbands hurtful comments, but it sounds like you may be deluding yourself when it comes to to real source of your weight.& If you lose weight, which you should, you should do so for your own health and peace of mind, not to appease your husband. | 2007-09-25 19:06:24 |
| 731 | 4859 | "We had an argument about it& and he told me he wanted a skinny woman because of peer pressure from people he works with as well as family (but I have never known anyone in his family to like women that skinny).& He then told me he actually liked the look of me.& When he told me he did like the look of me I got the feeling he wasn't being truthful because his body language didn't seem right." Maybe I'm just trying to give your husband the benefit of the doubt, but maybe he's just as confused as he seems. Being a young man myself, I sometimes& find it difficult to distinguish my own tastes from what I see in advertisements or hear about from my friends. That said, if he really does like you as you are, and if& his friends are pressuring him,& you both& would probably be better off without their influence. | 2007-09-25 19:11:10 |
| 731 | 4862 | My husband's friends from work have never met me and don't know anything about me.& The peer pressure was coming from one person.& And yes I am concerned about my health but mostly because of my breast size as they cause many health problems and are so big they rest on my lap when sitting even with a bra on.& They are very out of proportion with my body.& Unfortunately my bra size is now be a 16J Australian size.& Weight loss down to 75-80kg makes my bra size go down to a 16F.& My husband has complained about my breast size the most even though he grabs them, pokes them and shakes them.& I'm not deluded as I never said I wasn't fat, I know that I am (my clothing size is 16-18) but I would be deluded if I said I had an average amount of muscle.& I have done body building on and off as a hobby.& I enjoy building muscle but it probably wasn't healthy for me to do that in my teens.& I was healthy weight until the age of 20.& My husband has more people worried about his weight than mine because he is 5'9" and weighs over 170kg.& He is constantly gaining weight and can't control his eating.& His family is worried about his eating habits.& My husband calls women of a healthy weight fat so it wouldn't matter if I was thinner.& He would even call a woman fat if they're 50kg and 5'6". | 2007-09-25 20:16:47 |
| 731 | 4864 | [user=558]Jah[/user] wrote: "I have problems with my marriage and I don't know what to do.& I'm afraid it's doomed.:( My husband has told me he is ashamed of me.& He has also told me he wants a woman that is younger than me, that is 40-45kg, a height of 5'6", has small breasts, a waist that isn't curvy and a small bum.& I weigh 110kg, am 5'6", age 23, have very big breasts (I need breast reduction), have a curvy waist and a big bum.& Most of my weight is due to having a lot of muscle and being a bit chubby.& I'm a very strong woman. We had an argument about it& and he told me he wanted a skinny woman because of peer pressure from people he works with as well as family (but I have never known anyone in his family to like women that skinny).& He then told me he actually liked the look of me.& When he told me he did like the look of me I got the feeling he wasn't being truthful because his body language didn't seem right.& If I tell him I don't think he was telling the truth then he gets angry with me. I've been very depressed ever since.& I wonder if most men want women that are that thin.& I think I must be ugly because I have a strong build.& It seems to me that the only thing my husband likes about me is my height.& What should I do? " Hello Jah, & Well, the first matter is that, being as your husband is 170kg, as you stated, he cannot be one to point out who is fat and who isn't. Most people tend to live in denial, and they just "need a slap back in the face", not literal. Your weight, and your chest size play a role in each other. Sure, a female can be a lot bigger and have a really small chest size. If you lose weight, which is needed. The weight that you have right now, is causing more pressure on your joints and your bones. It's not good for you. I'm your height, 1/2 an inch taller. I'm 146 now, and I'm considered fat because I'm not in the "110 / 120" range. Either way, just get down to a spot with your body that's healthy. A pant size of 16-18, is large. 18 is plus size, and there's a reason they call it plus. I'm sure you likely have a larger chest given, but you'd go down a great deal if you lost the weight. If not just by the cup but also by the band. We all have our little, i look ugly moments. Well, maybe not all, but self conscious moments. I got em as well, lol, like does wearing this make my ass more bigger and i really dont want that. We're all human, we all have our insecurities but 110 kg for a 5'6'' 23 year old, isn't good. & With the depressing feeling, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe women and men who are larger or rather obese are often depressed as in in regards to their weight. You just need to take baby steps, eat as much as you burn and if you work out more, eat more but have it be healthy. & Anyway, hope all works out well, and have a good evening / day. & | 2007-09-25 22:49:44 |
| 731 | 4866 | I find your post offensive because it seems based on the assumption that I've never seen a doctor about my weight.& I'm obese and I'm losing weight.& (I probably seem easy to offend at the moment).& I was 100kg (my bra was a D cup then) when my husband proposed to me.& I lost that weight after getting married.& I regained it this year due to depression from getting an RSI in my right hand.& I have had good reason to be depressed as I have lost most of the use of my right hand and was forced to change handedness in everything.& I also won't be able to get a job.& My depression started to go as I emotionally accepted the changes in my life.& I started losing weight again.& My bra size now is a J cup.& I don't think my breast size will decrease if I lose weight because it didn't before.& My breasts seem to be still growing.& When my husband sees me sitting down and my breasts resting on my lap he thinks it's funny to say they look like a fat stomach.& I don't like him saying this.& I've been told I need breast reduction but I don't want to have such an expensive and risky operation.& The upper part of my spine is having problems from the weight of my chest.& I have more breathing problems from sleeping than exercise.& If I lie on my back I am completely unable to breathe.& I feel I can't get any support from anyone even my husband.& I suppose I don't deserve love unless I somehow get rid of my freakish breasts.& I'm sick of all the open stares, side glances and the "oh, you poor thing, you need breast reduction" kind of reaction. Here's a picture that shows my breast size: I'm sorry for venting.:( | 2007-09-26 03:47:42 |
| 731 | 4867 | Jah,& from your photo, you are a very lovely looking young woman. You have a beautiful face complete with, if I am remembering correctly from your& photo, the cutest dimple. No wonder your husband fell in love with you. I am not sure, but do& I remember your saying you wear Australian sizes in something? If so, and if you are Australian or New Zealander, would you consider seeking counselling?& I do not want to comment on your husband's attitude but many men would find you greatly attractive, arousing. | 2007-09-26 04:07:33 |
| 731 | 4868 | It sounds are if you and your husband are using food to fulfill cravings that aren't hunger related, as many people do today. American's are increasingly obese, because we have plenty of food available and& are generally stressed and unhappy, I believe. All the causes for you both to over eat need to be addressed, as simply dieting doesn't help, in the long term. You both need to address and resolve these issues together and at the same time. You can't have you husband gaining weight and calling you fat while you are losing weight. We generally learn our poor eating habits from our parent's, so it is a tough cycle to break. The types of food you bring into the house are part of the problem, as is where you eat out. As an example, he can't be bringing junk food into the house if you are try to eat salad. If your husband is unwilling to admit to his own problem then you may have to separate so you can address yours. Breasts don't weight that much. I saw a show on cable about breast reduction and a woman had her large breasts reduced a couple cup sizes and only about 5 lbs (2.2 kg) of tissue was removed. Even as large as your breasts are, they may only contribute about 10 lbs (4.5 kg) to your being overweight. I am pretty sure they would advise you to reduce your weight to your desired weight prior to your surgery. Here in the States, while the surgery is still major surgery, they have improved their technique considerable, or so I gather. Brad | 2007-09-26 07:39:37 |
| 731 | 4869 | It may depend on how much weight you lose. I still think it would be worth it just to see and you know it would have it's other benefits as a bonus. How much have you managed to lose so far? Don't try and lose it too quick mind. Losing it steadily is best and you're more likely to keep it off. Too many people try the wrong approach when it comes to losing weight and thats why they fail or put it back on again afterwards. My mum was in the process of trying to find out about having her breasts reduced but then didn't have to once she lost some weight. She's still overweight now and she doesn't have the will to lose anymore and generally went the wrong way about it anyway which is why she could never stick to it. She just loved her food too much and eats too much of the wrong stuff and doesn't do any exercise and makes excuses not to because of her bad knees etc... My mum was also suffering sleep paralysis eposides where she'd wake up at night but be unable to move but this also disappeared when she lost some weight. I also think you look like a lovely person and can understand why you'd want your breasts to be smaller than they are. Reading your post, you reminded me of a woman I read about who also had very large breasts that just seemed to keep on growing. She had surgery to reduce them but they grew back and she wasn't particularly overweight. It's ironic when you get women having implants to make theirs bigger even if they have B or C cups, they still aren't happy and want them bigger. I bet that makes you feel a bit annoyed really in a way because you'd do anything to have their B or C cups. I'm very unimpressed at the way your husband treats you. Personally, I just would refuse to take that kind of treatment and he'd have been dumped by the wayside long ago. The fact that he is also very overweight makes him a complete hypocrit. | 2007-09-26 07:55:02 |
| 731 | 4874 | [user=558]Jah[/user] wrote: "I find your post offensive because it seems based on the assumption that I've never seen a doctor about my weight.& I'm obese and I'm losing weight.& (I probably seem easy to offend at the moment).& I was 100kg (my bra was a D cup then) when my husband proposed to me.& I lost that weight after getting married.& I regained it this year due to depression from getting an RSI in my right hand.& I have had good reason to be depressed as I have lost most of the use of my right hand and was forced to change handedness in everything.& I also won't be able to get a job.& My depression started to go as I emotionally accepted the changes in my life.& I started losing weight again.& My bra size now is a J cup.& I don't think my breast size will decrease if I lose weight because it didn't before.& My breasts seem to be still growing.& When my husband sees me sitting down and my breasts resting on my lap he thinks it's funny to say they look like a fat stomach.& I don't like him saying this.& I've been told I need breast reduction but I don't want to have such an expensive and risky operation.& The upper part of my spine is having problems from the weight of my chest.& I have more breathing problems from sleeping than exercise.& If I lie on my back I am completely unable to breathe.& I feel I can't get any support from anyone even my husband.& I suppose I don't deserve love unless I somehow get rid of my freakish breasts.& I'm sick of all the open stares, side glances and the "oh, you poor thing, you need breast reduction" kind of reaction. Here's a picture that shows my breast size: I'm sorry for venting.:( " It wasn't meant to be offensive, I've always been one to be very straight forward and honest. Just how I am. Don't do breast reduction, lose the weight. Obviously, most of it went from your 10 kg (22 lbs) of weight gain. Which is a great deal. If your a J now, and were a D from 10 kg less, obviously weight loss should be your first choice than& breast reduction. I'm not here to insult, but, depression shouldn't make one go first for food. Sure, we all act differently, but people are easier to say they are "depressed" than actually look in the mirror and look at the truth. Don't use surgery as the fastest approach and you don't always need a doctor telling you something you can solve yourself. Even if you went there, your the one that decides when you want to lose weight, if you want to keep it off. Well, then don't lose weight to get your breast size down. Obviously they are having impact, and I'm sure they aren't the only cause for your health. Your joints/bones have a great deal of pressure on them, 110 kg of pressure. We have a saying in Germany, we use it in my home as well. Aschenputtel. It means Cinderella, im not saying as in "you're a princess".& Technically, it's saying stop acting like you are her and the world is out to get you. Again, it's not meant as an insult or offensive, but what I'm trying to say in this..as lovely as support is from others or hearing good job when you lost weight or whatever it may be, even if you don't have it. Even if your husband is a jerk, and he feels the need to insult you because he's living in denial..you don't need support if you have your own motivation and discipline to work at it yourself. Being 23, you got a whole life ahead of you, and diabetes wouldn't be good to get at your age, your bones/joints having the issue they are already. It's easy to gain weight than it is to lose it, just about every person has that issue, especially when you got cravings for something but you know its not good if you eat it. If you have a craving for a sweet, if you have a sweet tooth, a fruit is better. Try walking, baby steps. I'm not too, familiar with women with that big of cup sizes, I'm a DD myself, and I have to use two bra's while running. Maybe you need to look into it more, research it on how you should start. Obviously 110kg, size 16-18 pant size isn't good. It's as simple as, say your doing something or bending over, suck in your stomach..or just not sitting itself constantly. You have to be in action and it helps with weight loss, eat less of the bad stuff you eat. Like I stated, weight gain is easy, we all have that issue. There are days when I CRAVE so bad to have say a burger even. I'll eat one, but I'll take a smaller one. Or, if I crave sweets..i buy ice cream a popsicle thats Natural Choice. Well, I'm also a runner, I run about 6 miles a day..or i'll just walk with the dog if i don't feel like running, walk up and down the community that i live in. Also, if you needed a support group, I'm not sure if there are support groups like "Curves" or..Weight Watchers where you live, but there's a big support group with losing weight. I had a girl i've known since i entered the States join that, she's a year younger than me, 17. She needed the support group as well, she's 5'8'' and was over 200..she lost over 30 lbs with it. Try it, if they have that. Anyway, have a good evening / day. | 2007-09-26 19:38:49 |
| 731 | 4875 | I have no idea how much actual weight I've lost so far.& My scales are broken so the 110kg weight is incorrect.& I've got 3 different sets of bathroom scales, one says I weigh 30kg, another says I weigh about 75kg and then there's that one that says I weigh 110kg.& My husband broke them all when he stood on them and I haven't been able to weigh myself in years.& My clothes don't indicate anything because I often wear them 2 sizes too big but the clothing in that photo is size 14.& The bra size also isn't accurate because I can't figure out how to buy a bra big enough.& I then try to go by bust and underbust measurements but most sizing charts don't handle my size.& The difference between bust and underbust measurements is nearing 15 inches.& I know a D cup covers the pink area surrounding my nipples.& I knew I had lost weight when my bra band fell down without the straps supporting it.& I know I have similar measurements to someone that is 86kg.& I suppose I must look 110kg in that photo. No doctor has bothered to weigh me, I suppose that may be because I had heaps of tests due to a fainting problem and they said I was healthy.& I have an enlarged thyroid that functions normally and my blood pressure goes high from stress but otherwise it's normal (that isn't a recent thing I had that in my teens).& The fainting was due to allergy. I only ever seem to lose weight while on a lactose free diet, unfortunately it's more expensive.& I was thinking that measuring tape may be the best way to go with weight loss as my husband can't resist stepping on a new set of scales and measuring myself may be more accurate anyway.& I already know that breasts don't weigh a lot but the extra weight can cause posture problems when it isn't in proportion to the upper body, which is what I've been told. I also have a deformity in my spine which doesn't help but that is in the lower back.& My discomfort when lying down is my breasts spreading out and up to my neck causing me to choke.& I grew up with my mum and she isn't obese.& She is only 47kg and my height.& She has had problems with anorexia and so has my sister.& My sister has a height of about 5'8" and weighed only 45kg.& She got her periods back at age 25 when she put on 15kg.& I had anorexia in my early teens.& I was the same height I am now and I remember my waist 22-23 inches.& Doctors were always telling me to eat more and I was seriously iron deficient.& I also got sick almost constantly.& When I met my husband he convinced me to eat more.& He said my boniness was unattractive.& We were teens back then.& We've been married for years.& It seems strange for him to want me to have bones sticking out again.& My husband has been obese since he was 8.& He can't remember being any different.& We often don't relate when it comes to eating and eat completely different things.& He eats a lot more than me and I have food allergies that he doesn't have, so losing weight isn't a problem in that sense.& I tend to snack on sweet things when depressed but I rarely eat until full.& I've always had a bad habit of skipping meals.& I've been told I have an unhealthy mental image of myself.& I often tell people I weigh 150kg, which makes them laugh.& No set of scales has ever said I weigh this much but I believe I must weigh this by what I see in the mirror.& I'm afraid to look in mirrors.& From the belly button up I feel firm particularly when muscles are flexed.& I suppose there must be some kind of hard fat, I would like to know what this is.& I'm soft from the belly button to the knees and a bit on the upper arms.& I'm pear-shaped with large breasts.& People complain about being crushed when I hug them.& My husband says I'm too strong and that I need to be more gentle.& This strength is due to obesity?& I remember getting big in the shoulders after using crutches.& I already know I'm hugely obese.& I get the impression that people posting here think that I don't know this considering there seems to be more discussion on my obesity than my husband's attitude toward women.& I'm obese and disgusting, I don't know why I have to be convinced of this because I already know of it.& I will lose weight like I did a couple of years ago and I will still be disgusting.& I'm obese and I know it.& I feel I don't deserve marriage.& I mention divorce to my husband and he cries.& I've had counseling.& I tell my sister how obese I am every time I talk to her, we end up having arguments.& I told the doctor around the time I got married that I'm obese and he seemed irritated.& My mum likes me calling myself fat and says I don't do it enough.& My sister tells me I have lost weight but I suppose I shouldn't say I have. | 2007-09-26 21:47:15 |
| 731 | 4876 | Hi, Jah, please keep in mind the fact that our comments have been based on the little we knew of you based on your original posting. I don't believe anyone has set out to harm you or make you feel bad about yourself. I would say we can't accurately determine your weight based on the image you linked to. We can see that you have very large beasts and some softness to your features, but nothing that indicates you weight as much as you say you do. If you were anorexic in the past you may over estimate your weight now. Your large breasts would tend to distort your body image too, I believe. I recommend consulting a doctor so you can get a objective opinion about your weight, as you can't go by what you or your husband believes, or even your female family members. Perhaps you are fearful of a doctor weighing you because the scale may not agree with your own body image. Brad | 2007-09-26 22:12:55 |
| 731 | 4877 | Well, weight is an easier topic than what your husband does. Your husband and what he's doing, you cannot give an input in this. It's something you have to talk to him about. Or bring up his weight, either way, you need to come to a solution. One that benefits your health, both mentally and physically. Anyway, good luck on it. | 2007-09-26 23:21:50 |
| 731 | 4878 | Another thing is to never skip meals. This slows the metabolism which means you are more prone to weight gain. Eating little and often is the key and try to replace white bread, rice, pasta with the brown wholemeal varieties because these keep you feeling fuller for longer and don't cause the quick rise and fall in sugar levels that the refined ones do. Try and find yourself healthier alternatives to snack on such as nuts, partially rehydrated apricots, grapes, a live yoghurt etc...even if you can just replace some of the unhealthy and fattening stuff with healthier things, it will be a step in the right direction. Never ever skip breakfast. Breakfast is what kick starts that metabolism after your nights sleep. Ideally, you should eat a small healthy meal every three hours or so but try not to cut out loads of food groups or totally rid yourself of treats. Allow yourself something naughty each day such as a chocolate bar& but just keep it smaller and that way, you are likely to be able to stick to your eating habits rather than get sick of it and binge on fattening stuff. If you can just reduce lactose to whatever is feasible financially, then that can help too. I know what you mean about healthy food being a lot more expensive...then they wonder why people are living off ready meals and processed rubbish because it is a lot cheaper. It's stupid!!!We have that same problem here in the UK. As for your husband...hmm, well, I think he has issues of his own which he obviously hasn't decided to talk about. He can't seem to make his mind up about you and maybe his own weight bothers him a lot but, being a bloke and all, they are more likely to bottle these things in because it isn't macho to talk about your issues when you are male. I say macho and not manly because thats what it is. Where the marriage is concerned, only you can make the final decision there. You have to work out the pros and cons of either making it work or ending it& and decide which of these the pros and cons tend to& favour and base it on your own personal wishes and needs, not what other people think or say. It's ok us saying our opinions on the subject but only you know all the ins and outs of how you feel and what it is you want in your life. Best wishes for whatever you decide. | 2007-09-27 07:14:48 |
| 732 | 4879 | In Hamburg, in about 1978, we were taken to a sex& exhibition where one of the windows showed a& group of women, 40s-50s, masturbating. The women were naked& , using one hand in the vulva, the other on the breasts. At intervals, a buzzer sounded and the women changed hands. We were told that most of the women came to their multiple orgasms using their non-dominant & hand in the vulva.& We had no way of knowing, of course, but my wife has always doubted the veracity of the statement. Would anybody care to comment, please? | 2007-09-28 06:38:05 |
| 732 | 4880 | I don't use my left hand on the vulva because I can't get the same rhythm and such needed for orgasm so I can't say I'm the same as those women in the exhibition you saw. | 2007-09-28 07:48:47 |
| 732 | 4882 | Thank you. This is my wife's argument but when we have played Obedience and I have been timing her between the changes she has found that the combination of& submitting& and the awkwardness has driven her further up to good orgasms. If she has done well, and is well opened, engorged, I have her pinch her clit with her non-dominant fingers as reward and this brings on a 'throbbing' orgasm, my wife reports. | 2007-09-28 13:54:38 |
| 732 | 4886 | well, I can't answer the question directly, but I find masturbation less awkward with my dominant (right) hand.& I can do it with my left hand, but not using the same technique or rhythym that I do with my right. | 2007-09-28 17:01:55 |
| 732 | 4887 | Quite so. The women in the exhibition were submissives, delighting in the fact, and it was a great turn-on for the men onlookers and, I think, at least some of the women watching that the women changed hands on command, even though the stroking of the non-dominant hand felt awkward.& As do you, they changed techniques. I trust all can agree that one of the great joys of masturbation is that we may use our imaginations and, in this, women leave we men far behind. Modern man knows far more than did we, of course, but I well remember when I first began to become aware of the range, and depth!!, of a woman's imagination. When we were young, there was no Playboy but everywhere was Betty Grable and Sonja Heinie, the first with her legs and bottom, the second with her up-flaring skirt, mound and big smile. They were great days, too. | 2007-09-28 17:40:41 |
| 732 | 4897 | I use both hands at the same time when masturbating.& I suppose that is rare. | 2007-09-29 20:33:37 |
| 732 | 4898 | Jah,& thank you.& I assume you are telling us that you use both hands at your vulva, clit, vagina? I must be careful always not to speak of girls/women masturbating, solo and privately, for their own great pleasure as I have seen only my wife and sister do this. The women I have seen in any number are being helped to their arousal by recognising they are under command, are being watched, and are enjoying their feelings of submission. Of these women, those who are told to use both hands on their vulvas, clits, vaginas, anuses, very often ask to be allowed to palm their breasts, tweak their nipples. In that, perhaps you may be correct in thinking your practise may be a little' unusual' but I learned many years ago that there are few boundaries for women in their seeking after intense sexual pleasure. If two hands is you, then so be it, enjoy. | 2007-09-29 21:43:31 |
| 732 | 5092 | I also use both hands while masturbating, with one I hold the lips apart creating a bit of a 'stretch' and stimulating myself with the other... I never touch my nipples or breasts. | 2007-11-17 04:15:32 |
| 732 | 5094 | Melanie72, that is very interesting. I have seen women use one hand to hold apart the lips and the other to 'strum' the more projecting clitoris but all, at some time, used one hand on a nipple or a tit, even but for a short time. Is there a reason you never tease a tit? Do you ever push a fingernail into& your cleft wall near your anus, when close to cumming?& | 2007-11-17 10:44:53 |
| 732 | 5125 | I use both hands but not at the same time.& With the dominant hand I can become quite agressive on my poor clit and put too much pressure, that's why I usually switch to the other one. | 2007-11-26 08:17:24 |
| 732 | 5144 | I have both hands stimulating the clit area at the same time.& The problem I have is that I don't know exactly where the clit is. | 2007-11-30 16:47:09 |
| 732 | 5145 | Have you tried looking at the diagrams and photos in brads site and then taken a look at your own vulva to try and figure out where it is? The clit is towards the front of the vulva, in front of the urethra and vagina which is behind both. I think it will be of benefit to you if you checked out the photos/diagrams and then looked at your own to compare. | 2007-11-30 19:13:22 |
| 732 | 5146 | Jah, you have told us previously of some of your problems which& I hope you are overcoming, if but slowly, and that being here helps. Above, Canis Lupess gives good advice. As a man, I hesitate to add my bit but& some years ago, we had a woman here with a tiny clitoris which she told us she& had trouble locating, although we could make her cum by tongueing, during which& we felt a nubbin. We had her use the finger-tips of her non-dominant hand to caress her inner thighs near her vulva whilst slowly and very gently stroking the insides of her inner lips. Her resultant cums were intense, it appeared.& A pegged nipple helped, too. Others here know much more than& do I but I think that you must be stimulating your clit, unknowingly, if your cums are pleasurable.& | 2007-11-30 19:48:49 |
| 732 | 5148 | The problems I've mentioned are quickly being fixed.& Moving away from the city and back to the small town I grew up in seemed to help a lot.& I found life in the city didn't suit me at all and I was always depressed. The area Canis Lupess describes is where I stimulate.& I was a teen when I found a sensitive spot there but never actually looked at it as I didn't feel the need to.& Yes the orgasms are pleasurable and there are times when I've had ejaculation but I am curious to see what my clit looks like. | 2007-11-30 21:05:37 |
| 732 | 5150 | The articles linked to below address locating your clitoris. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_1/qa1_4.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm Brad | 2007-12-01 07:24:56 |
| 732 | 5151 | The hood hardly conceals my clitoris at all.& Is this normal?& I don't have to pull it back to see it as it seems to be quite large. | 2007-12-01 15:44:57 |
| 732 | 5152 | Dear Jah, I htink there is no a standard clitoris size like the labia or nipples or penis, as far it is there.& Luisa | 2007-12-01 16:28:00 |
| 733 | 4884 | hey, I have found out this problem with me. I was feeling high and getting very wet down there so I masturbated (after going to the loo to clear my bladder) by stroking my clitoris and then I ejaculated. I thought it was ejaculate. Im not too sure. It started out in small quantities. Then it got more and more. But when I smelt it, it had this really slight slight urine smell and it& had this& slightly, really really really slighttttt yellowish colour. So Im not& sure whether I ejaculated or I just pee-ed.& What do you think it was?& | 2007-09-28 14:10:24 |
| 733 | 4885 | it was probably ejaculate.& since you ejaculate through your urethra, the color and odor was probably a result of you just having urinated right before masturbating, so there was probably some urine residue.& the good thing is that urine from a healthy body is sterile, so you don't need to be grossed out by it's presence anyway. | 2007-09-28 16:57:55 |
| 733 | 4889 | Did it feel good when this occurred? If so, then that is all that matters. :D Just my opinion. Brad | 2007-09-28 20:27:53 |
| 733 | 4890 | I agree with Brad, if it felt good, then just enjoy. Being a man, I need to be careful here but, about female ejaculation, I have felt that: 1. most women ejaculate sometimes, even if they are not aware, 2. ejaculation is a good sign that she has been highly aroused, 3. skilful,& patient, gentle (and& loving helps greatly), stimulation of the clit& together with stimulation of the prostate lining by a toy brings many women up very well and can result in very pleasurable climax. 4. there can be urine with the thicker ejaculate. Some yellow is common. It is advisable to empty the bladder beforehand, then lie back and enjoy the orgasm without worrying about too much urine passing. 5. with women whom I have denied orgasm for some time, the ejaculate is more common, leading to a possible conclusion that high arousal brings on more copious ejaculation. | 2007-09-28 21:16:37 |
| 733 | 5093 | I've had kind of a similar experience. I notice that whenever I have oral sex, after my orgasm is over I feel a kind of "release" similar to the feeling I get when I pee, and when I get up there's a damp spot on the sheet. I'm inclined to think I'm ejaculating, only from what I've read, most women need internal stimulation to ejaculate and I'm being stimulated externally. Do you think it's ejaculate, excess lubrication, or saliva from the person perfoming the oral? I don't think it's urine because it doesn't smell the same and it doesn't leave a stain. | 2007-11-17 09:26:39 |
| 733 | 5095 | most likely it's a combination of all three.& g spot stimulation is more likely to lead to female ejaculation, but it is by no means the only way.& | 2007-11-17 12:19:46 |
| 733 | 5096 | so is it possible to ejaculate through clit stimulation? Or does that just lead to orgasm, for some? | 2007-11-17 12:41:42 |
| 733 | 5097 | it is possible to ejaculate from any kind of stimulation.& some women don't even need to touch themselves to orgasm, some squeeze their legs together tightly and orgasm.& it all depends.& the requirement for ejaculation is orgasm, not a form of stimulation. whether or not a woman ejaculates depends more on her body.& some women have large enough glands that produce enough fluid so that they can ejaculate.& some women ejaculate easily, others require a particularly intense orgasm to ejaculate.& sometimes that means that a g spot orgasm is generally more intense than a clitoral one, and so they only ejaculate from internal stimulation.& but that isn't the case for all women.& some women cannot orgasm from internal stimulation, but only from clitoral stimulation, but they still ejaculate. each woman is unique. | 2007-11-17 13:21:53 |
| 739 | 4904 | Ok the other day i was masturbating with a friend and i've done this a MILLION times, seriously... i've been putting things up me since i was at least 12 or 13. So, this time I was.... rushing, and I broke something. I'm not sure what it is but I bled a bit, probably for a few minutes, and then it was over. I'm not on my period, it ended a week and 1/2 ago, so I'm wondering, does anyone know what I broke or what was bleeding? because it didn't hurt that much and I'm just not sure. If anyone could help or give me answers, I'd really appreciate it. | 2007-10-01 19:51:23 |
| 739 | 4905 | Hi, It is possible that you scratched your vagina or vulva or tore your hymen. If irritation, pain, or a discharge develops then you need to consult a doctor. Without knowing where the injury is and the nature of the injury it is impossible to provide any additional information, and even if we did know this information, since we aren't doctors, we can't say much anyway. Brad | 2007-10-01 20:38:38 |
| 740 | 4907 | & About a year ago, a department of McGill University in the US published their findings of a study set up to determine the time taken by young men and women to come to “peak sexual arousal.†Their findings showed that both men and women were fully aroused within seconds of each other at about ten minutes. It had been ensured that the subjects all started 'cold'. This was great news, of course, destroying another 19[suP]th[/suP] Century myth of our Western civilisation and allowing us to move a little further along the path of recognising women as sexual beings, something that other civilisations and cultures knew centuries ago. I was surprised that it takes ten minutes for an young man to come to full arousal but must accept the word of such authorities. During the 18[suP]th[/suP] Century in western Europe, the women of many great houses were permitted, encouraged, to express their sexuality albeit with their personal maids. Other servant girls were trained to pleasure the Master, some pleasuring being overseen by the mistress of the house. There have been other periods when women's sex needs have been allowed out of the closet. Incest was rife during the 13[suP]th[/suP]-14[suP]th[/suP] Centuries, mothers/daughters, brothers/sisters. The people of Imperial Rome had an healthy recognition of women's sexual skills honed on young men and women slaves. Other civilisations of Asia and India were far ahead of ours, frequently. 'Moderation in all things', but it is good we do not blind ourselves to obvious truths. | 2007-10-04 00:15:58 |
| 742 | 4910 | Trying out vibrators is getting tiresome and expensive. I've used a regular old bullet from Pipedream from the local store. The jelly coating tore easily and it wasn't very strong. Then I tried a bullet from Spencers from TLC. It was very powerful, but noisy and it just completely died on me a few months after getting it. Then I bought a $40 rabbit from Pipedream and the beads broke upon the first use, and I didn't like it at all. I much prefer simply clit stimulation. Then I can use while having sex as well. So I returned the rabbit on account of it breaking and bought Tera Patrick's Super Charged Magnum about two months ago.& I LOVED it. My favorite by far. Very powerful, didn't drain batteries too fast, and the perfect sized bullet. Now it's acting like there is a short in the cord and working on and off. I was reading a review from another Tera Patrick product that was doing the same thing to someone else. This little thing cost $30. When you get paid $80 a week, that's a lot. So what is your favorite vibrator ever and how long have you/did you have it? Did you have any problems with it? Do you think it's worth it to spend $30 on another one that I love, even though it will probably crap out in a few months time? Or should I try something new? Everything I've tried from Pipedream hasn't been worth the money, so I'm at least trying to steer clear of them. | 2007-10-06 21:21:20 |
| 742 | 4911 | well, it's not small or convenient for taking places, but the hitachi magic wand has been well regarded for many years as one of the best and most reliable vibrators available.& you can get it for US$38 or so. | 2007-10-07 10:28:53 |
| 742 | 4912 | Choosing a vibrator can be very challenging. :-/ There are a lot of different ones out there, and many are made of the cheapest materials possible. While they come in many different shapes, styles, and colors, most of them do the same thing. People hear by word of mouth that one thing is better than another, but they are often the same thing in a different shape and color. There is also a high markup on many of the products. The local adult stores charge up to double what I do. Even so, I admit the quality of some of the items I sell isn't the greatest, but that is what everyone sells, and sometimes for less than I can. Not everyone can afford a quality vibrator that will last years, or they are put off by their simple design, liking the flashy items with all the whistles and bells. The manufacturers and sellers rely on the fact that people can't or wont return defective "sex toys". I had a generous return policy until I got burned to the tune of hundreds of dollars by a couple customers who thought they could try and return several expensive items all at once; the problem wasn't with the product. Other businesses likely experienced the same, and now have similar return policies. In the end, you don't know if the products you are selling work or not. A general rule applies though, you get what you pay for, but as Sugar has experienced, you can buy expensive junk too. The prices of some of the sex toy party places are obscene, being double what I charge, because so many people are getting a cut of the profits. My general recommendations have always been the Hitachi Magic Wand ($45-$55), as it is considered the Cadillac of vibrators that will last years. It isn't as fancy and nice looking as others so women may pass them by, believing items that look nicer work better. Adam and Eve produce a less expensive version, but it is of obviously lower quality and slightly noisier. In battery powered vibes the Pocket Rocket is perhaps a good basic vibe, with quality determined by price to a certain degree. Rabbit style vibes, known as "combination" vibrators because they provide clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time, are very popular. I have heard good comments about& some of the& less expensive ones, but don't know how long they last. One customer wore out two of the more expensive ones, and I don't know if the problem is with quality or excessive use. :P I generally don't recommend insertable vibes, at least in the beginning, but many men and women are under the false impression that that is what they should want and need. Many still believe the "vagina" is the secret to sexual pleasure in all women. I recommend plain dildos for insertion. When I did some local shows I set up vibrators so women could turn them on and try them, with their hands, to compare them, but people thought I was crazy and few women actually tried& them.& One women didn't& know why she needed a vibe until I put batteries in one, turned in on, and placed it in her hand. She simply went, Oh!& And walked off with her free vibe, as I had some I was giving away at the time. Her friend& gave me a thumbs up, as she knew her friend needed one. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] As I mention in my recent article about the female sexual nervous system, women are sensitive to different types and speeds of vibration, and I don't know that this is taken into consideration when they are designed and sold. I asked one of the bigger stores, that is woman owned, if they had any information on this subject and never got a response, though I sell their products. Short of trial and error, and perhaps great expense, it may be impossible for many women to find the right vibrator for them. Brad | 2007-10-07 10:39:06 |
| 742 | 4913 | I am seriously considering a hitachi magic wand, but the size and positioning of it seems like it'd be awkward. I enjoy masturbating on my stomach and I'm not sure that I will be able to do it quite the same with something this large and bulky. Still seriously considering it though. | 2007-10-07 12:37:17 |
| 742 | 4914 | The first image shown on the page linked to below shows a woman kneeling over a Hitachi that is held in place with a pillow. You may be able to use this position. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/masturb.htm In Betty Dodson's video Celebrating Orgasm she coaches a woman, who has been masturbating on her stomach, on how to use the Hitachi. Brad | 2007-10-07 14:17:33 |
| 742 | 4915 | Well, I think my honey will be ordering one for me tomorrow as an early christmas gift. haha, but I just have a few concerns about it. 1. There are only two settings. I'm just worried about being able to reach orgasm with such... limits. ;) 2. Once again, the size. I'm sure I could work something out. I do enjoy using my vibrator while having sex, so that could pose some problems. I guess that's when you just get a smaller bullet. | 2007-10-07 16:49:59 |
| 742 | 4916 | Hi, The standard missionary position is probably out, but if they stand or kneel between your legs, you are on top, you prop the vibrator up with a pillow in the doggy position, and many modifications of these positions then the Hitachi shouldn't present a problem. You may need a heavy duty extension cord, as they do draw some power. They do make cordless rechargeables but I don't know how powerful they are. We do sell some reachargeables but they aren't nearly as strong as the Hitachi. I have seen the Hitachi secured with some rope in some interesting bondage play. :shock: Brad | 2007-10-07 17:33:08 |
| 742 | 4923 | you should consider some of the rabbits if you want adjustability.& you don't actually have to insert the phallus portion, but a lot of rabbits have a lot of variable settings. | 2007-10-07 21:43:13 |
| 742 | 4927 | This is not to the topic but many women do not go passed candles.& They do not have the vibe, certainly, but some users find that a plus. When you are well up, the wick on the clit can be wicked! Sorry about that. Or.... again when well up, the wick circling the anus very lightly with a finger pressing down on the clit. | 2007-10-08 04:36:20 |
| 742 | 4930 | What about the best dildos? My therapist says I should get one to learn how to make dilating sessions more enjoyable and less clinical and boring like they are with the dilators. She said one that curves to stimulate the G-spot but I'd need one that wasn't too big girthwise. I've had a look in a couple of sites but it never has any that it says are small or slim so I don't know whats best to go for. There is no way I could bring myself to go into an actual shop to buy one so online is my only hope...lol. | 2007-10-09 09:31:24 |
| 742 | 4931 | Would a dildo of 1 inch diameter be suitable for you,& if you bring yourself well up & beforehand and use plenty of lube? I am not an expert but have seen curved, glass dildos of 1" which really do the job as they are passed across the Spot and, I imagine, the prostate. A couple of older women, with little experience, use them exclusively, coupled with a very light caressing about the anus and& on the inner buttocks near the cleft. An oiled feather is marvellous for this. Google will show you suppliers in the UK& but I am sure you are aware of that. If I may add, you have a great problem but are going about overcoming it in the correct manner. Good luck. | 2007-10-09 10:10:55 |
| 742 | 4932 | The largest dilator I have been able to insert and this is when I'm not even aroused is 4" in girth and that was #3 dilator& but I have to be slow and careful. As& I haven't practised in a while, I might not be able to get it in so easy now but I'm confident I could still get #2 in which is 3.5" girth. Anything around that would be ok, I think. I started on #2 because& I knew #1 would be easy so have never even used that one. I couldn't insert #4 yet. I'm not overly sure what the average girth is on dildos. I know they advertise the monster ones which I know won't be for me, lol. I'm sitting here with the tape measure still on my knee, haha:D | 2007-10-09 10:22:23 |
| 742 | 4933 | I think anything up to 3" girth is considered of small girth so I am sure you will be able to find something suitable with which to carry on.& Being male, dilators put me off just by their appearance and knowing their purpose in life!& A dildo does not do that much for me either but, when using it up& a woman, I appreciate the great results.& I do hope you find something which gives you intense pleasure. You deserve it. The couple of hours before you commence are so important, aren't they with sexy thoughts, a fantasy or three, surrepticious touching yourself...,then an hot bath, glass of wine, warm bed. I know I should not be telling you. wrad. & | 2007-10-09 10:50:59 |
| 742 | 4947 | well, remember your high school geometry.& the circumference of a circle is 2*pi*r or pi*d (r being radius, d being diameter or 2r, pi being roughly 3.1415) so the reverse would be that the diameter = circumference/pi obviously not all dildos/penises/dilators are perfectly round, but they are round enough for approximation. so a 3" girth dilator would be about .95 inches wide, about 2/3 the width of the statistically average penis. to simulate the average penis in girth, you'd want a 1.5" diameter or 4.75" girth dilator or dildo. | 2007-10-13 15:13:47 |
| 743 | 4918 | This site didn't do a good job explaining why women like me don't feel anything during sexual intercourse.& There were no tips on how to get more stimulation out of penetration.. Can someone explain how I can feel pleasure during sexual intercourse? because as for now, i don't feel a darn thing and it is making me feel very insecure | 2007-10-07 19:52:13 |
| 743 | 4919 | I do not know your age, nor your experience in being penetrated but, provided you feel something for your man, are well up before entry, have you tried being taken from behind so that he can use you at& the angle where he rubs along your Spot and across your clit? You, too, can roll your clit. with one hand, a nipple with the other, leaving a nipple and& about your& anus for him. I am sure women here will advise better but what comes before penetration is frequently the key. The woman should be opened, engorged, yearning, glowing. Keep trying, it is very well worth it! | 2007-10-07 20:17:43 |
| 743 | 4920 | I am 22 years old.& How can he rub against my clit if he is having sex with me from behind? I don't understand | 2007-10-07 20:31:51 |
| 743 | 4922 | SexuallyFrustrated,& I am sorry I did not write well and your question is good. I am hoping you are permitted input and that he will accept guidance from you. I am sure I need not tell you that& he brings you up very well, before entry and then he& can enter a little only, withdraws so that his cock-head is rubbing your clit, repeats a number of times, then, slowwwly, enters to against your Spot, works you there for a time, withdraws, changes his angle, enters again, slowwwly, so that & his shaft is rolling along your clit and, soon, your Spot. Your clit is available to your finger. Your favourite& fantasy can be called up. He may not be able to last but, really, it is all about you, though you will not mention that. Probaly, it will & take a number of attempts but, I do hope, your pleasure will be greater on each one and soon..... Am I clearer, please? | 2007-10-07 21:34:09 |
| 743 | 4924 | SexuallyFrustrated,& I apologise for coming on here & again but I have been thinking about your last query and have realised that& I have not suggested you go on all-fours to be taken from behind. Further, you may wish to kneel on a cushion, or similar, perhaps straighten your legs or, less tiring, have your head sideways on the bed, table, chair, your arms free to caress. If it gives you a charge to submit, or even imagine you are submitting, a great turn-on for many,& this position, with buttocks rearing and open, works wonders in your mind, and that is where it all should commence. | 2007-10-07 23:13:04 |
| 743 | 4925 | thank you for explaining it better. the times that i had sex my guy he& would just tell me to bend over and he'd just start thrusting.& and& then& he's in another world. if i tell him to stop or slow down he doesn't hear me or anything he just keeps going.& i feel like a blow up doll or something.& maybe next time i'll get a guy to follow those directions although it seems they just get carried away and don't really care. | 2007-10-07 23:50:34 |
| 743 | 4926 | SexuallyFrustrated, Yes, that is how it is far too frequently and it is disastrous for so many young women, sometimes not so young. I do not see how it may be brought about but were our young men given practical instruction before they were allowed out, & the& world would be a much better place& for both sexes and thousands upon thousands of women would not be condemned to frustration and much discomfort, if not worse, until their 30s, when their hormones push them into some self-assertment. Of course, the man who is not sufficiently caring and skilled faces a great put-down when he comes on to a post-menopausal woman who knows exactly how she wants him& to bring her up and, after much pleasure for her, off, a number of times,& in a variety of ways.& SF,& there is no law which says you must 'bend over' when required to do so. As you write, if you cannot improve your present man, next time make sure the man brings you very well up, and yearning, before he commands.& At your wonderful, so alluring age it is all about you being readied for him& and it is much better for your peace of mind if it is he who does it. Women can be surprised, often, that many young men who are decent basically, must be guided. For these men, it is a given, certainly, that they can come up in seconds but cumming somewhere in a woman is not always as easy for them. They are fortunate if they are taken in hand! by an older woman. May I encourage you to think about doing this, and doing? I must leave it at that. & | 2007-10-08 00:41:25 |
| 743 | 4928 | If he ignores you again, move away so he's thrusting into mid air. Do it everytime he ignores you and and he'll soon learn to listen. It isn't just about him and he should certainly listen to you. There aren't that many nerve endings in the vagina compared to the clit. Imagine what giving birth would be like if there was? It's common for many women to not feel that much and other than experimenting a little with positions and technique, there isn't that much that will change it. Additonal stimulation in other areas is the best bet. | 2007-10-08 08:27:36 |
| 743 | 4934 | can't some women feel something during penetration otherwise why would they engage in it so often? i talked to a freind about it and she says that intercourse feels great to her.& are someoen just unfortunate not to feel anything during penetration like me? | 2007-10-09 11:46:27 |
| 743 | 4935 | Some have more feeling than others but& I read up that for the majority, IC is mediocre (nothing too special)& and then some think it feels great whilst others don't feel anything or it may even feel unpleasant. Also, remember that many women would quite happily go without IC. It is their male partners that too often influence how often a woman has IC so it isn't necessarily because the woman likes it, it's because she feels it is her duty to provide the partner with it and a lot of men out there would object if their female partner said she didn't want IC. | 2007-10-09 11:57:23 |
| 743 | 4936 | well, have you ever had a girlfriend who didn't feel anything? how did it affect your relationship? i know when i told my guy that he said he didn't want to have sex with me anymore.& | 2007-10-09 12:10:26 |
| 743 | 4937 | I'm female and straight so I never had a GF. As& I have vaginismus, I have a bit more of a dilemma when it comes to IC. It is too painful for me to do full stop. Maybe& it would be better to be able to have it and not feel anything than be in my position. As a result, I only had one BF and I split up with him after 6 months and several nightmarish failed attempts and have never dared date again. I know a lot of guys would leave a woman if they knew she couldn't have IC. There are plenty of superficial and selfish guys out there and you obviously had experience dealing with these but there are decent ones. It's just finding them. Maybe more communication about what you'd like would help and if they aren't interested and won't listen& then they are too selfish and you are better off getting shut of them anyway. If bedroom matters make you unhappy, no doubt things will break down in the general aspects of your relationship also. I've done a lot& of research as a result of the vaginismus and learned a lot on the way including what I wrote above. Thats why I joined here to get answers and give advice to others. | 2007-10-09 16:25:31 |
| 743 | 4938 | May I come in here again, please, if only because& I think it a great pity when an adult woman says she is not enjoying partner penetrative sex. You have been very unlucky SF and it can be much better.& I do not need to tell either of you women that emotions, and her mind,& play a great part in readying a woman for partner sex. I hope you do not think I am presuming, SF, but have you looked into whether you felt an emotional attraction to your man? Again, not wanting to appear presuming, I suggest that when you 'fall in love', you will ready much more easily,and quickly, than heretofore. Then, too, you can go further and use your mind to help you ready some time before the coupling. It seems a long time ahead, I imagine, but your wonderful 30s are coming when your hormones will help even more. Men and women differ, we all know, but& please remember that& a woman well aroused by whatever means can enjoy much more intense cums than can most men, and men & can think of northing better. Women deserve good sex and their good men delight in their having it. Unfortunately, too many men do not know enough, and their women do not guide them. | 2007-10-10 02:01:05 |
| 743 | 4939 | it can't always be mental.& i have known women who have enjoyed sex with no strings attached. i would like to think every woman is capable of it. but being that i am no longer with the guy anymore, i certainly don't want to put sexual enjoyment on hold for mr right.& who knows when he'll come into my life? i don't want to remain celibate until i am 30.& and thinking that i won't enjoy sex until my 30s is a frightening thought.& i don't want to go all through my 20s frigid. | 2007-10-10 07:57:02 |
| 743 | 4940 | Hmm, I beg to differ about the frigid thing. I have never been able to have IC because of vaginismus and I'm 28 now but that doesn't mean I am frigid. I often do DIY and often have over 20 orgasms in each session depending on how much time I have or how aroused I am. I wouldn't describe myself as being frigid just because I hadn't had IC with a guy. Also, just because some women enjoy sex with no strings attached, doesn't mean we all do. All women are different and not all women enjoy having sex with somebody they don't know and trust and feel a strong emotional attachment to. For some women, it is just not meant to be and if your subconscious is trying to tell you that via the way your body reacts during sex with guys you don't feel strongly enough about, then maybe you need to start listening to that deeper part of yourself if you are ever to achieve satisfaction in the bedroom. Going by the superficial rules that are practically imposed on us by society in order to feel "normal" will never make you happy. In fact, I'd say it was more normal for a woman to not be able to relax with some stranger who was unlikely to stick around or somebody they didn't really love because, in times gone by, if they got pregnant, the chances of such a guy sticking around to support them would be slim and then they'd be in trouble& so women would naturally only enjoy such encounters with a guy they trusted and loved and knew felt the same way about them and would stick around and be reliable if she got pregnant. A clever thing programmed into us by mother nature no doubt to increase the survival chances of the young by having that extra support that a pregnant or new mother would need from others. | 2007-10-10 09:35:56 |
| 743 | 4941 | What does DIY mean? & I guess you are right about needing a strong connection with a guy to enjoy sex. It's just that I am very impatient and the idea of being 30 by the time I finally am able to enjoy sex just seems too long | 2007-10-10 11:56:13 |
| 743 | 4942 | Sorry, DIY = Do it yourself = Masturbation. You can concentrate just on you during DIY sessions and it teaches you a lot about what gets you off and what doesn't and then you are in a better position to communicate this across to a male partner when you find one. Many women go their whole lives without ever really enjoying sex, partly because they have a hard time speaking up for whatever reason and partly because of guys who are selfish and ignorant when it comes to the sexual needs of women. Those who think they know the most often know the least. | 2007-10-10 14:03:23 |
| 743 | 4948 | do you think something like zestra will help me?? it's just really depressing to not get any pleasurable sensations from sexual intercourse.& this is something that i just can't accept. how can i not enjoy one of the most natural acts like penetration? i don't understand | 2007-10-14 09:07:26 |
| 743 | 4949 | I don't know how Zestra works, so I can't say if it would help.& A lot of those kinds of creams and oils just make your skin tingle, but if the part of your body you put it on isn't touch sensitive, I would imagine that the effect of the product would be diminished. Unfortunately a lot of women find penetration alone to be insufficient for orgasm and require stimulation of the clitoris to reach orgasm during intercourse.& The first suggestion is to get a vibrator, probably one of the bullet types since they are small, and use it on your clitoris during intercourse.& This would obviously imply that you should avoid missionary position since it is the most difficult position for manual stimulation of the clit.& However, that is the lesser of the two problems.& The bigger issue seems to be your choice in men. I don't find it surprising at all that you struggle to find pleasure from penetration with a man that is so clearly interested in his own pleasure above yours.& You've apparently ended the relationship, hopefully on your terms, and this is a big step towards a solution. When looking for another man, you might want to fundamentally rethink what your needs are.& I don't know what your interests are, but if you look for a man whose primary focus in sex is to please you while your primary focus is to please him, you might find a new kind of sex.& If you find the right guy and think of sex in this way, then intercourse will be pleasurable for you even if it isn't a strong physical sensation.& I spoke to a girl yesterday who said that vaginal penetration doesn't make her orgasm, but the thought of a guy she liked ejaculating inside of her was such a turn on that it would make her orgasm.& I've also spoken to women who can orgasm from giving a man felatio.& The tricky part is finding a guy that you care enough about to achieve this kind of empathetic pleasure.& It's really hard to be turned on by a partner's ecstasy when they don't really care about yours. | 2007-10-14 12:26:01 |
| 743 | 4950 | " When looking for another man, you might want to fundamentally rethink what your needs are.& I don't know what your interests are, but if you look for a man whose primary focus in sex is to please you while your primary focus is to please him, you might find a new kind of sex.& If you find the right guy and think of sex in this way, then intercourse will be pleasurable for you even if it isn't a strong physical sensation.& I spoke to a girl yesterday who said that vaginal penetration doesn't make her orgasm, but the thought of a guy she liked ejaculating inside of her was such a turn on that it would make her orgasm.& I've also spoken to women who can orgasm from giving a man felatio.& The tricky part is finding a guy that you care enough about to achieve this kind of empathetic pleasure.& It's really hard to be turned on by a partner's ecstasy when they don't really care about yours.[img] www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/images/spacer.gif[/img] " There's no way for me to know a guy's primary focus on sex until I sleep with him.& I think finding a partner who is good in bed is a crapshoot.& You don't know what you're gonna get. I am not getting my expectations up to high and look for another relationship.& I don't think I'll ever find a man as you described above.& I am just looking for sex right now, and want to know the best possible way I can maximize pleasureable sensations from intercourse.& I truly feel like I am missing out here and it has made me insecure. I hear all the women talk about how this guy is so good in bed and it makes them do crazy things..and I wanna experience that too.& I want to like sex just as much as everybody else.& I've been trying with different toys (dildos) and I just can't feel anything.& Sometimes I get so depressed about it.& I mean, am I gay or something? why can't i enjoy a& penis inside of me? it has made me question my own sexuality. i never liked girls but i just don't feel like a real woman if i don't get enjoyment out of intercourse.& this has been wrecking my brain lately | 2007-10-14 21:37:08 |
| 743 | 4951 | What and you believe all those women when they say they are having explosive sessions in bed with their guys? A lot of the time, you find that those who boast the most are the ones having the crappest of times. Obviously, in their attempt to look "Normal" in society, they are hardly going to admit that to anyone else are they? Would you admit to your peers about this issue? I doubt it..You'd be frightened of them judging you. I'll safely say that problems in the bedroom are a whole lot more common than you can possibly imagine. There's no point in convincing yourself that you are abnormal just because you don't have toe curling orgasms from IC with a guy. | 2007-10-15 07:47:16 |
| 743 | 4952 | According to surveys on the website: Women experience orgasm during intercourse 37% of the time on average without additional clitoral stimulation and 60% of the time when there is added clitoral stimulation. This means orgasm does not occur 40-60% of the time. Only around 1 out of 4 women experience orgasm during intercourse on a regular basis. Women fake orgasm during intercourse 13% of the time, meaning more than 1 out of 10 "vaginal orgasms" are faked. 55% of women have faked orgasm. These are averages, so some women experience orgasm every time and others never experience orgasm. 1 or 2 out of every 10 women have never experienced orgasm. The media's portrayal of female sexuality is far from the reality of the average woman. Brad | 2007-10-15 08:42:30 |
| 743 | 4953 | sexuallyFrustrated. you wrote "..I am just looking for sex right now, and want to know the best possible way I can maximize pleasureable sensations from intercourse.& I truly feel like I am missing out here and it has made me insecure. I hear all the women talk about how this guy is so good in bed and it makes them do crazy things..and I wanna experience that too.& I want to like sex just as much as everybody else.& I've been trying with different toys (dildos) and I just can't feel anything.& Sometimes I get so depressed about it.& I mean, am I gay or something? why can't i enjoy a& penis inside of me? it has made me question my own sexuality. i never liked girls but i just don't feel like a real woman if i don't get enjoyment out of intercourse.& this has been wrecking my brain lately" We feel for you but are you rushing things,expecting too much too quickly? As Brad points out, intercourse does not give& a great many women much pleasure. Could you not spend time using your mind to arouse yourself frequently during each day, and pleasuring yourself much more frequently than you have been doing?& Feeling sexy does make the world a much more pleasant place and, often, the person much more attractive. Your mind together with your fingers are your best sex toys. & | 2007-10-15 09:13:18 |
| 743 | 4954 | They say most women can't orgasm through IC--but they at least get some kind of sexual stimulation out of penetration their problem is that they can't climax.& I don't feel any kind of sexual response with penetration, just the feeling of a penis going in and out. It doesn't feel good to me at all.& How is that normal?? When I use dildos, I do massage my clit but after awhile it's pointless because the dildo isn't really serving any kind of purpose, it's not giving me any additional pleasure, and I usually end up tossing the dildo aside and start to massage my clit which is the only part of my vagina that gives me stimulation. | 2007-10-15 10:49:04 |
| 743 | 4955 | Have you tried locating and stimulating your prostate gland, aka G-Spot? [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm As far as other women, when asked how satisfied they are with the sensitivity of their vagina they chose the following choices: Very Satisfied & 29% Satisfied 28% Somewhat satisfied 12% Undecided & 5% Somewhat dissatisfied 11% Dissatisfied & 5% Very dissatisfied 4% This means 20%, 1 out of 5 women, are less than satisfied with the sensitivity of their vagina. It seems you are hardly alone in your experience. 11% are dissatisfied to some degree with the amount of pleasure their body provides during intercourse. [url=www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=1916635995] www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=1916635995 Brad | 2007-10-15 12:07:14 |
| 743 | 4956 | I have a similar situation. Being penetrated feels okay but nothing like what other people describe. Sometimes my G-spot is hit, but it just feels like I really& have to pee and never gets any better-feeling. I often feel like there's something wrong with me, like I'm deficient or something. I feel& especially bad& after reading the experiences of women on this site because mine fall so short. I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. | 2007-10-15 12:17:17 |
| 743 | 4957 | I found penetration boring and not so great until my boyfriend and I began playing with new positions, and uh, harder sex. ;) Me laying on my stomach with him on top is pretty much amazing. Especially when he can whisper dirty things in my ear. :P | 2007-10-15 18:30:02 |
| 743 | 4958 | Hi Re "How is that normal??" Learn about what makes *you* happy. Make some time for youself. Have fun. Then when you know what *you* like, try different positions. | 2007-10-15 19:10:29 |
| 743 | 4959 | [user=4047]SexuallyFrustrated[/user] wrote:" There's no way for me to know a guy's primary focus on sex until I sleep with him.& I think finding a partner who is good in bed is a crapshoot.& You don't know what you're gonna get. " Sure there is: you talk to him.& The single most important element of a good lover is communication.& Because no two women are alike, no single physical technique or attribute makes a guy a better in bed.& What makes a man a good lover is the ability to learn how a particular woman responds best in sexual situations, and that is achieved through talking, listening, and watching.& Any guy that won't talk with you about what you like and dislike is automatically an inferior lover than one who will. " I am not getting my expectations up to high and look for another relationship.& I don't think I'll ever find a man as you described above.& " I know they exist because I am one of them, as are some of the other men who visit this forum.& True, you may never find one that shares mutual attraction with you, but they do exist, so they are worth seeking. " I am just looking for sex right now, and want to know the best possible way I can maximize pleasureable sensations from intercourse.& I truly feel like I am missing out here and it has made me insecure. " Stress, insecurity, anxiety, nervousness... these are all known to drastically limit sexual response in a variety of ways.& Remember a few things:& 1) You are more than a vagina.& Sex is a full body activity, especially for women. Even if your vagina were highly sensitive, you should not focus solely one the stimulation of it.& Your clit, your anus, your nipples, and other areas all serve to make a pleasurable experience.& Stimulate them during intercourse rather than relying solely on penetration. 2) Intercourse is not a superior form of sex.& Don't think of oral sex and touching as foreplay; that diminishes them.& It's all sex.& Too much focus on intercourse and orgasm can make it difficult or impossible to achieve. I know you want to enjoy penetration, but my point is that worrying so much about not enjoying may be inhibiting you from doing so.& Focus more on a pleasurable overall experience that includes penetration rather than working up to a point where you focus specifically on pleasurable penetration alone. " I hear all the women talk about how this guy is so good in bed and it makes them do crazy things..and I wanna experience that too.& I want to like sex just as much as everybody else.& " Experiences differ.& You can like sex as much as everyone else, it doesn't mean you have to have the same experiences they do.& Also, remember that people lie or exagerate.& Good sex by one person's standard may be bad by another's.& Young women (and men) also feel social pressure to be sexually active, so they may embellish their experience both in terms of quality and quantity to make themselves look better.& " I've been trying with different toys (dildos) and I just can't feel anything.& Sometimes I get so depressed about it.& I mean, am I gay or something? why can't i enjoy a& penis inside of me? it has made me question my own sexuality. i never liked girls but i just don't feel like a real woman if i don't get enjoyment out of intercourse.& this has been wrecking my brain lately " Like I said, anxiety and other forms of worry or stress can have physical effects on your sexual response, whether it is in terms of sensitivity, ease of orgasm, degree of arousal, etc.& You need to let go of the anxiety and your preconceptions about penetration.& There isn't a way you're "supposed" to react to penetration. If you focus on finding your best possible sexual experience (both alone and with another person) rather than trying to force yourself into this view of what you're supposed to do, you'll find yourself less anxious about penetration.& Experiment with penetration while doing other things to maximize your pleasure.& You may find that penetration may magnify other forms of pleasure, even if it doesn't directly cause it.& What I mean is, incorporate penetration into your masturbation, but don't make it the focus of your masturbation.& Even if it doesn't cause pleasure right now, you may find that you require certain situations or atmospheres or states of mind for penetration to become pleasurable. | 2007-10-15 19:25:12 |
| 743 | 4960 | well, if most women don't enjoy sex or orgasm from it then what is all the talk about men with large penises? i mean if the vagina doesn't have that many nerve endings then why does size matter so much? | 2007-10-16 10:59:43 |
| 743 | 4961 | Size preference, if any, depends on the individual woman. I don't believe the average woman gets to experience intercourse with an above average sized penis, so they cannot comment on which is truly better. Those who say a bigger penis is better may do so because they believe they would be considered abnormal if they didn't. As I mention in my article on the subject, there is the mental aspect of it too, as the brain is the largest sexual organ. Women may enjoy large penises and dildos because the inner vagina in more sensitive to pressure than friction, because of the type of nerve endings there. I believe diameter it more important to women than length, as large dildos are thick, not just long. The use of large dildos and vaginal fisting may be an an attempt at overcoming the limitations of penile/vaginal intercourse, because the vagina isn't always highly sensitive to frictional stimulation. The penis may also be too smooth to provide much in the way of friction, especially if a condom is used. Keep in mind the fact that many women have trouble accommodating a small penis let alone a large one. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/size.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/size.htm As a side note, a single female friend was complaining she wasn't having sex and was surprised to learn the married folks at the table weren't getting any more sex than she was. There is a lot of misinformation out there concerning what people actually do sexually, how much they enjoy it, and how often they do it. I have lived in a condo or apartment for the past 12 years and I am surprised by how infrequently I have heard neighbors having sex, as the media leads us to believe these often times college aged couples should be waking me nightly with their sexual exploits. When I have been awakened by the activity it is the bed making the noise rather than the couple; this observation is based on perhaps 10 different couples. Shouldn't these young women be squealing with delight on an almost nightly basis if sex was as enjoyable for them as the media and rumors say? Brad | 2007-10-16 14:30:23 |
| 743 | 4962 | But& a lot of the personal& experiences on this website say that women often do like having sex. I take those much more seriously than I do societal messages, because I can't see any reason why& the women who send their experiences here would lie about them. | 2007-10-16 16:40:12 |
| 743 | 4963 | The number of Q&As that address sexual difficulties far out number the positive shared sexual experiences. It all depends on how you look at it. The website pretty much focuses on sexual difficulties, as if sex was as perfect as we are led to believe, you wouldn't need anyone to teach you how, let alone explain why things don't work as advertised. The website is about sexual diversity, not one size fits all. Reproduction is instinctive, not sex, at least not recreational sex. Women who aren't enjoying sex probably don't want to admit to it, as they are under the same impression as you. When things don't work they assume there is something wrong with them rather than with the sexual activity or their partner's sexual skills. Considering the number of married men I have known who have said their wife forgot what sex was after their wedding day, I would guess their wifes didn't find sex all that enjoyable, and may have only pretended to enjoy sex during the courtship. They were obligated to have sex to attract a husband, but once that is done, the pretending ends; I am sure men are equally guilty of misrepresentation, or the divorce rate wouldn't be so high. I know of a couple women who remain or remained with men that couldn't or wouldn't fulfill their sexual needs for several years, all in the name of "love." 55% of women wouldn't be faking orgasm if sex was so wonderful, all the time. Brad | 2007-10-16 18:09:30 |
| 743 | 4964 | But what am I supposed to do if I want my experience to be more like the positive ones posted? I have experimented and I have a very& kind partner, but I still have problems. Am I just inferior to the women with better experiences, then? | 2007-10-16 18:26:40 |
| 743 | 4965 | [user=4047]SexuallyFrustrated[/user] wrote: "well, if most women don't enjoy sex or orgasm from it then what is all the talk about men with large penises? i mean if the vagina doesn't have that many nerve endings then why does size matter so much?" A lot of those people are just repeating what they hear so they don't sound naive.& The truth is that a large penis is bad for a lot of women because it hurts them.& Penis size matters in the way that it is the right size for the vagina in question, but the idea that bigger is always better (and especially longer) is a total myth. A lot of women don't admit to not enjoying sex because they feel like there is something wrong with them, much like you feel.& There is nothing wrong with them.& They need to communicate with their partners to find what does feel good for them Many women enjoy and orgasm from sex, but that doesn't mean they orgasm from penetration.& I actually know a woman who thoroughly enjoys sex, but cannot orgasm when she is being penetrated, only from clitoral stimulation alone. Likewise, most people can't orgasm from giving another person oral sex, but they still enjoy participating in it. | 2007-10-16 18:51:31 |
| 743 | 4966 | [user=2998]ironbutterfly26[/user] wrote: "But what am I supposed to do if I want my experience to be more like the positive ones posted? I have experimented and I have a very& kind partner, but I still have problems. Am I just inferior to the women with better experiences, then?" No, you are not inferior. Sexual experience is subjective. You may not be able to have the same experiences that are listed here, but that doesn't mean you can't have other experiences that are as satisfying to you as the other women's experiences were to them. Trying to define an ideal sexual experience is like trying to define the perrfect movie or record.& The movie critics may praise one movie to high heaven, but you might find it boring.& Likewise, these critics might bash a movie that you call your favorite movie of all time.& Does that mean you don't know anything about movies because the critics disagree with you?& No, of course not.& It just means they look for different things in a movie. The same applies to sex.& Just because one person reacts a certain way to a certain sexual situation doesn't mean you will or should react the same way to the same actions.& Trying to define your sexual pleasure through the subjective experiences of others will put you on the wrong path. | 2007-10-16 18:56:44 |
| 743 | 4967 | A lot of my thoughts on this subject are presented in the article linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_4.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_4.htm Many women limit their sexual potential by trying to be like everyone else, by trying to be "normal." They try to be what& many or most "pretend to be," not who they truly are in the privacy of their bedroom, or in the ultimate privacy of their mind. Many of the positive experiences presented on the website concern women who have found pleasure in "vanilla" or "socially acceptable" sex. While women's shared masturbation experiences address a broad range of sexual interests, and some very taboo ones at that, the partnered experiences don't, they are relatively tame and mainstream in comparison. I don't believe they address truly kinky or taboo sexual activities, or even relatively tame subjects like anal sex. Even the shared sexual experiences involving the young girl and her stepfather involve nothing more than masturbation and outercourse, if one looks beyond their identities and ages. Even they had "vanilla" sex, if it is appropriate to say they engaged in sex, given her age and awareness of "sex" at the time. If vanilla sex worked for everyone then so many people wouldn't be engaging in so many nontraditional or "socially unacceptable" sexual activities, alone or with a partner. Porn wouldn't be in such demand on the internet if vanilla sex worked for everyone, and yes women are seeking it out too. The shared masturbation techniques, and their diversity, provides a clearer picture of women's sexual needs than the shared partnered sexual experiences. The shared mutual masturbation experiences are likely naughtier than the shared sexual experiences. Do all women masturbate in the same way? Should we expect them to enjoy the same partnered sexual activities based on what they enjoy when alone? If you haven't explored every sexual possibility you don't know whether you have the same capacity for physical or sexual pleasure that others experience. Have you tried bondage, S&M , or surrendering full control over yourself to your sexual partner? Have you role played every possible scenario? Have you had sex in a public place or with your parents in the next room?& Maybe you don't need a "kind" partner but one who isn't so nice, who wont treat you "nicely" or as a "good girl." Perhaps they need to put you over their knee and spank you like a naughty girl? While it doesn't sound nice to say this, perhaps you need to be treated like a "slut" or "whore" if you are to enjoy sex, because these "identities" allow you to be sexual and socially unacceptable. Many women limit their sexual potential by trying to be "nice girls." Nice girls generally don't have hot mind blowing sex because they are too busy playing the role of the nice girl. I believe our brain, as a result of our prior experiences and education possess a much greater barrier to sexual pleasure than does our body. Very few of us are free of sexual limitations. | 2007-10-16 20:00:42 |
| 743 | 4968 | So you think the reason why some women don't enjoy sex is because they are trying "vanilla sex" which is not for everyone? & For the longest, the idea of sexual intercourse rarely excited me.& i thought oral sex was by far much kinkier and turned me on whenever I masterbated.& Penetration just seemed so traditional, and routine.& I often thought that many women felt the same way as I did.& Until I got older, I started to feel as if I was in the minority when I started having discussions about sex with friends. They revelaed to me how much they loved intercourse, and didn't understand how I could just be satisfied with only oral sex.& Then my ex boyfriend& told me that i was supposed to like penetration, he& said that a woman's body is designed to enjoy it, that's what god made it for.& this made me feel incredibly insecure and inferior.& Even at work, I am surrounded by women who talk about how they are addicted to sex and can't stop doing it. & They range from as young as 19 to late 30s.& hearing these kind of discussions only lower my self worth as a woman. Some nights out of desperation I try to force myself to enjoy penetration with my dildo.& But I just don't like it.& There is nothing stimulating about a penis like structure going in and out of my vagina.& So I end up tossing the dildo aside and resort to stimulating my clit which feels very very good and brings me to orgasm 100% of the time.& | 2007-10-16 20:30:03 |
| 743 | 4969 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Many women limit their sexual potential by trying to be "nice girls." Nice girls generally don't have hot mind blowing sex because they are too busy playing the role of the nice girl. " I wasn't raised with the idea that "good girls" aren't supposed to enjoy or think about sex. In fact, what I've learned from reading books and websites about sexuality is that I'm supposed to always be ready and willing and love penetration and be able to squirt and have multiple orgasms at the drop of a hat. Because I'm incapable of these things, I'm apparently inhibited and need to be changed. I think this sort of message can be as damaging as the one that girls shouldn't be sexual at all. | 2007-10-16 20:34:55 |
| 743 | 4970 | [user=4047]SexuallyFrustrated[/user] wrote:& " So I end up tossing the dildo aside and resort to stimulating my clit which feels very very good and brings me to orgasm 100% of the time. " That much I most definitely agree with! As much as I love the hard sex my boyfriend and I have when I can actually FEEL him, the clit is what pushes me over time and again. I've never had an orgasm without clit stimulation. This is "normal" for most women, by my readings. | 2007-10-16 21:15:08 |
| 743 | 4971 | [user=4047]SexuallyFrustrated[/user] wrote: "So you think the reason why some women don't enjoy sex is because they are trying "vanilla sex" which is not for everyone? " While I agree that some people don't enjoy "vanilla" sex, I disagree that that is necessarily the reason so many women don't enjoy sex. If non-typical/taboo sex works for a person, that need would be revealed and addressed by communication with one's partner.& I think a lot of people can thoroughly enjoy "vanilla" sex, but they don't communicate their needs.& As you can tell by reading the masturbation stories, even individual women need to touch themselves in a large variety of specific ways to achieve pleasure.& If women discussed what felt good and what didn't, as well as suggested ideas to their lovers that might feel even better, I think many women would enjoy even plain old fashioned sex more than they do. " For the longest, the idea of sexual intercourse rarely excited me.& i thought oral sex was by far much kinkier and turned me on whenever I masterbated.& Penetration just seemed so traditional, and routine.& I often thought that many women felt the same way as I did. " Many women do prefer oral sex to intercourse in terms of their own pleasure.& They may readily engage in intercourse because they know it pleases their partner greatly, but if they had their druthers, they would choose oral sex over intercourse. " & Until I got older, I started to feel as if I was in the minority when I started having discussions about sex with friends. They revelaed to me how much they loved intercourse, and didn't understand how I could just be satisfied with only oral sex.& Then my ex boyfriend& told me that i was supposed to like penetration, he& said that a woman's body is designed to enjoy it, that's what god made it for.& this made me feel incredibly insecure and inferior.& " You aren't "supposed" to like anything.& The ideas that society places in our heads about the siginificance of intercourse are probably the very reason so many people say to you that you're supposed to enjoy it.& A lot of those people probably don't enjoy intercourse as much as they say for fear of being perceived as abnormal, but this just perpetuates the false ideas regarding the significance of intercourse. " Even at work, I am surrounded by women who talk about how they are addicted to sex and can't stop doing it. & They range from as young as 19 to late 30s.& hearing these kind of discussions only lower my self worth as a woman.& " Honestly, most young people are incredibly ignorant about sex (as well as most other things in life).& You would serve yourself better by taking things they say with a grain of salt.& A lot of young women who are "addicted to sex" are addicted to the rebellious, defiant aspect of engaging in intercourse rather than the physical sensation because of the way it makes them feel psychologically. " & Some nights out of desperation I try to force myself to enjoy penetration with my dildo.& But I just don't like it.& There is nothing stimulating about a penis like structure going in and out of my vagina.& So I end up tossing the dildo aside and resort to stimulating my clit which feels very very good and brings me to orgasm 100% of the time.& " If you're familiar with the phrase "a watched pot never boils", you can apply it here.& I can't guarantee you that you will ever experience intense vaginal pleasure, but I do know that women who partake in vaginal penetration while feeling emotions like desperation, frustration, confusion, anxiety, and embarassment with the intent to achieve a particular result almost never achieve that result.& That doesn't only apply to penetration, by the way; there are numerous women who cannot achieve orgasm by any means because of their obsession with achieving it. That said, brad did mention various kinds of penetrative sensations.& How large is the dildo, what is it made of?& Perhaps the thrusting motion doesn't stimulate you, but there are a variety of sex toys available.& Perhaps you need a more textured toy to increase friction, which can mean a more realistic skin-like surface or an artificial bumbped/ridged surface, or a wider toy to increase pressure on the vaginal walls.& There are vibrating toys and "swirling" toys that also provide unique forms of stimulation.& Experiment with these if you can. | 2007-10-16 21:26:51 |
| 743 | 4972 | [user=2998]ironbutterfly26[/user] wrote: " I wasn't raised with the idea that "good girls" aren't supposed to enjoy or think about sex. In fact, what I've learned from reading books and websites about sexuality is that I'm supposed to always be ready and willing and love penetration and be able to squirt and have multiple orgasms at the drop of a hat. Because I'm incapable of these things, I'm apparently inhibited and need to be changed. I think this sort of message can be as damaging as the one that girls shouldn't be sexual at all." To be blunt, you're reading the wrong books.& Not all women are ejaculators, and not all women are multi-orgasmic.& The correct and honest literature is that which illustrates that every woman's needs are unique and how to discover and provide for those needs. That message is indeed very damaging.& Those magazines like Cosmo and the rest are horrible influences on young women.& They cause so many insecurities.& They ruin body image as well as cause sexual dysfunction.& By the way, having read many of these magazines, I can tell you that the articles in those magazines regarding "10 Ways To Please Your Man" are also almost universally worthless and false. | 2007-10-16 21:32:07 |
| 743 | 4973 | "That said, brad did mention various kinds of penetrative sensations.& How large is the dildo, what is it made of?& Perhaps the thrusting motion doesn't stimulate you, but there are a variety of sex toys available.& Perhaps you need a more textured toy to increase friction, which can mean a more realistic skin-like surface or an artificial bumbped/ridged surface, or a wider toy to increase pressure on the vaginal walls.& There are vibrating toys and "swirling" toys that also provide unique forms of stimulation.& Experiment with these if you can. " The first dildo I bought earlier this year was 8 inches and made out of hard plastic.& I took this older woman's advice, she told me anything under& 8 inches is not worth buying.& She said all her dildos were 9 and 10 inches.& I knew my body wouldn't enjoy 10 inches, nor 9 so I got 8 inches.& Initially, it was painful but over a period of time my body got used to the length.& Never received any kind of pleasure from it.& Just discomfort and it made me feel like I had to make a bowel movement.& After that I got a slender smaller sized dildo/vibrator..it was an improvement as far as not feeling like I had to make a BM, and it was easy to insert with very little discomfort or pain. But I got no real stimulation from it . Today I got a G spot stimulator.& I think I am getting somewhere.& I used it and at times I feel like I might have hit my g spot for about 3 seconds.& It's like I can't find the right rhythm or position to properly orgasm from this toy.& This is a big step for me because I usually don't even come close to hitting any kind of pleasure zone regarding penetration.& And the weird thing is is while it was inside of me I came but it was a clitoral orgasm--I was hoping it was going to be a g spot orgasm. Another thing is that I NEED porn when it comes to penetration.& Just laying there with a dildo penetrating me and fantasizing isn't enough, I need visual stimulation like a guy.& With clitoral I don't need all of that. My clit is really sensitive and the minute I touch it I become aroused and will orgasm in like 3-5 minutes. | 2007-10-16 23:10:51 |
| 743 | 4974 | That's really good news.& My best advice is to be patient and not let yourself get frustrated if the spot slips away from you.& Just explore your options; don't go leaping for the finish line just because you have a hint of progress.& As I mentioned, the frustration and anxiety has a huge impact on sexual response, so as you proceed, just focus on the pleasure in that moment instead of the end result. | 2007-10-16 23:14:22 |
| 743 | 4975 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "& The correct and honest literature is that which illustrates that every woman's needs are unique and how to discover and provide for those needs. " Have you got any suggestions for this sort of literature? | 2007-10-17 12:41:49 |
| 743 | 4976 | ironbutterfly, do you feel any sort of pleasure through sexual intercourse? I don't think that this topic is discussed as much.& Most media sites and articles reference to women who can feel pleasure but simply cannot orgasm, but not too much is said about women who don't derive any sort of physical pleasure from penetration. If I got great pleasure from sex but couldn't orgasm, I'd be satisfied with that.& I'd just used my& hands or a vibrator to come.& But to not feel anything,& is devastating.& | 2007-10-17 16:06:30 |
| 743 | 4977 | It feels OK some of the time, but I much prefer external stimulation. I have sex infrequently, so I have to get used to it all over again each time I do. If I'm already excited (from clitoral stimulation) it can feel nice. I've never had that mind-blowing pleasure I've heard of, and whenever my G-spot is hit it just feels like I have to pee. I find that I get the most out of it when I'm on top or entered from behind. Missionary doesn't feel like much at all. I've heard that the vagina doesn't have many nerve endings in it (which makes sense since that's also where babies come out) and the nerve endings are concentrated in the clitoris. I agree with you that all the messages women are sent about what they should feel in bed are very damaging. I know I should just accept myself but it's so hard. I can't get rid of the feeling that there's something wrong with me. | 2007-10-17 18:03:57 |
| 743 | 4978 | And most of the nerve endings that are in the vagina are in the outer parts, not the deep parts.& So that is why girth is more important than length.& Visualize this way: take one hand and make a circle with your index finger and thumb, then take the index finger of your other hand and thrust it through the circle& the full length of your finger; take note of the sensation this causes on the two fingers making the ring.& Next, take all four fingers and thrust them into the ring made by your fingers, but only go as deep as the second knuckle.& You will find that the 4 fingers being thrust only half as far as the one finger still makes significantly more contact with your circled fingers than the single finger. The same idea applies to a penis (or dildo) of average length and above average girth compared to a penis of average girth and above average length. | 2007-10-17 19:41:07 |
| 743 | 4979 | Hi, To discover what works for you, given the brain is the largest sexual organ, you might locate erotica that sexually arouses you and then find the necessary how to articles or manuals that will educate you on how to incorporate those activities into your sexual repertoire.& If you already know some of the sexual activities in the erotica that you enjoy doesn't work for you, say because your vagina or clitoris is numb, then find erotica that features other types of sexual activities. Search the internet for erotic, then search for information on how to participate in those activities yourself, its free. Many household items can be used in role playing and less than vanilla sexual activities, so you don't need to spend tons of money on finding the answer. I am asked to endorse books authors have written, or link to them, but since they usually claim to be the greatest thing since sliced bread and treat men and women as carbon copies of one another I don't. I mention this in the article about The Secret to Great Sex. Women's magazines are good for getting ideas, and they do provide some important information about sexual health at times, but they do overstate their position a lot of the times. They know many women aren't having fantastic sex and by saying they hold the secret to it they are guaranteed to sell more magazines. Every month their front covers claim the secret is in that issue. Since there are so many possibilities and some many different women you can't possible present the answers to the questions you ladies are presenting. At best we would be guessing at them. If you know what doesn't work then all you can do it try to figure out what does, and unless there is a carbon copy of you who has gone before you, you might not find someone else who has already found all the answers you seek. If sex doesn't work for you, or isn't worth the effort, then find other activities that fulfill your needs. A lot of people are so absorbed in their work and hobbies they don't have the time or energy for sex, or only masturbation. Brad | 2007-10-17 20:10:06 |
| 743 | 4980 | Many women need to learn to accept the sensation of needing to urinate if they are to enjoy vaginal stimulation, intercourse, and/or G-Spot stimulation. This is because the nerves for the vagina, urethra, and prostate gland exist in the same area of the body, the front wall of the vagina. By stimulating one you are likely stimulating them all; some women are more sensitive in this area than others. We usually associated urination with something bad and believe it can't be a positive part of our sexual experiences, which limits our sexual potential. I would recommend relaxing, caressing the front wall of your vagina with your fingers or gently stimulating it with a dildo of the appropriate shape, and not shy aware from the desire to urinate. Climb in the tub and let things flow, literally. This plays into the good girl bad girl theme, as good girls would never allow urination to play a part in their sexual experiences. Bad girls don't care what others think, especially if it brings them pleasure. You need to be a little selfish at times. Personally, I don't care if a woman is ejaculating or urinating on me if I know she is experiencing a lot of pleasure while doing it, as urine is no more harmful to me than ejaculate. I know from experience that when liquid is squirting from women they most often are experiencing pleasure at the same time, and it is often intense pleasure. For one woman I know, the first time she started to squirt I noted she held back and resisted the desire to let go and wouldn't surrender control, but afterwards I said it was ok and gave her permission to, and she found future experiences a lot more enjoyable when she let the liquid fly, surrendered control.& This is because she allowed her body to respond naturally, not as society had told her she should. While I believe it has more to do with her sexual potential than me, she was only able to experience orgasm with a vibrator prior to her experiences with me, and afterwards she was multi-orgasmic through several different sexual activities. Part of this was achieved through role playing and allowing her to be naughty. While I may sound like I have a fixation for repeatedly bringing it up, the anus is reported to have more nerves than the vagina, being second only to the clitoris in nerve density, or so some claim. If you want to experience enjoyable "intercourse" at least consider anal intercourse. I have found with the appropriate introduction women were surprised by how enjoyable it was. Anal intercourse does require a lot of ground work and tender loving care if it is to be enjoyable, more than so than vaginal intercourse, which is what many people don't know. The anus generally requires a lot more "foreplay" than the vagina. This subject is address on the website, and in the discussion forum. Brad | 2007-10-17 20:44:29 |
| 743 | 4981 | I understand what you're saying about not worrying about urinating, but it is simply uncomfortable and painful for me to have that particular area stimulated. I am not worried about not being a "good girl", I am not worried that my partner will think it's weird if I squirt, and I am aware that one sometimes has to be a little selfish in bed. I& WANT to squirt, but rubbing my G-spot just makes me feel like I have a urinary tract infection. I also don't think that using the good girl/bad girl theme is very helpful. It just gives women another way to& feel bad about& themselves because they don't measure up to some standard, and whether the standard is the good girl or the bad girl really doesn't matter. | 2007-10-17 20:51:48 |
| 743 | 4982 | Your statement about good girl/bad girl is valid, but I don't know how else to get my point across. :? I don't actually believe women are "bad" for doing these things, and that is perhaps why my message is coming across incorrectly. I see these as normal things to do. Have you tried using less pressure and more time when stimulating this area? Have you tried getting sexually aroused prior, perhaps through clitoral stimulation? Have you tried having an orgasm beforehand? Yes, this area can be very sensitive. The glands of the prostate could be painfully engorged, and may need to be coaxed into releasing their contents, through light caresses and massage. If it hurts then there is something wrong, or something is being done incorrectly, perhaps applying too much pressue by trying too hard to make it work. The pubic bone is located in that area. Brad | 2007-10-17 22:33:45 |
| 743 | 4983 | I understand that you don't see girls as "bad" for doing those things; my point is that now it's the "good girls" who have to feel like they're not doing something right and they're deficient. I find that people generally aren't classified so neatly and easily. I can't squirt, so I'm evidently not a "bad girl", but I've never thought of myself as particularly prudish, so I'm not a "good girl" either. What does that make me? I have tried having an orgasm prior to internal stimulation, but as I am not multiorgasmic, I'm usually pretty worn out after one orgasm. Getting aroused but not to the point of orgasm before insertion does seem to help a little. | 2007-10-18 06:05:25 |
| 743 | 4984 | I am pretty worn out after a clit orgasm too.& I fall straight to sleep. My issue is when my ex used to perform oral on me, it would feel so good that I didn't want to have sexual intercourse.& I remember one time he kept asking to penetrate me, but I told him no because the oral felt so amazing to me. Even with my g spot toy, I stimulate it with my clit and it feels amazing to me, so amazing that I don't even insert the thing to find my g spot now.& Because anything inserted inside of me, is no where near as pleasureable as clit stimulation.& How do I fix this issue? | 2007-10-18 10:02:29 |
| 743 | 4985 | question: when you masturbate, how long does it take to orgasm, and do you just immediately try to orgasm? | 2007-10-18 20:04:29 |
| 743 | 4986 | When I masterbate it can take me from 3 minutes up to 15 minutes depending on my desire.& But usually, I will start to climax after a few minutes and then I'll stop and start so the feeling can last longer.& It seems that after years of masterbating I come too quickly from clitoral stimulation. And, I wish that the orgasm would last longer.& I've gotten kinda bored with the clit orgasm and would like to experience the gspot one which is supposed to last longer. | 2007-10-18 22:37:16 |
| 743 | 4987 | Get a few good books, read about the gspot. Learn about your body and again find something *you* like. | 2007-10-20 01:42:58 |
| 743 | 4988 | It almost seems as if it is human nature to want instant gratification, as we don't like waiting for the reward, especially in our fast paced and hectic lives. Many people don't have or don't allow themselves 2 hours of sensual pleasure, and many women don't believe they deserve it. We are also highly competitive, always wanting to out do our peers, whether it is making more money, driving a faster car, or have more or stronger orgasms. Few of us get to enjoy life because we are too busy living it. American's even tend to work at enjoying their vacations, trying to do everything in a limited amount of time. I mention on the website how the ability to experience orgasm can actual reduce the amount of pleasure a woman, or man, can experience. We try to get to orgasm as quickly as possible and then the show is over. It seems few are able to doing something simply because it feels good, without the need for a full climatic release. The media is to a certain extent misleading people into believing sexual pleasure for the average woman should be greater than it actually can be. We read the stories and see the sex in movies and mistakenly believe that is how sex really is for everyone else. The level of sexual dissatisfaction may indicate our expectations are too high or unrealistic rather than there is something wrong with a large percentage of the population. We have become so focused on stronger and multiple orgasms and female ejaculation that we deprive ourselves of extended pleasure, or pleasure in general. I don't define good or bad girls by what they do, but rather by whether they restrict their sexual options by trying to conform to social expectations.& Women who don't conform to social expectations risk having& a label applied to them by their peers. Women are often expected to enforce social morality and as a result limit their options. As more women stretch social morality then their options expand. Women who refuse to expand their sexual options actually serve to restrict every woman's options, because as a whole women set the example for one another; expecially when it comes to mothers and daughters. The average orgasm is reported to be around 6 seconds long, which is a good length of time. This means many are shorter and many are longer. Most are said to last less than 15 seconds, based on clinical research, but in the survey on the website 1/3 of women say they perceive that their orgasms last longer than this. Are women's orgasms as long as they believe, or does sexual arousal and orgasm distort their perception of time, or does social expectations result in them overstating their experience? On the other hand 60% report their shortest orgasms are 6 seconds or less in duration, which means women aren't experiencing megagasms every time they have an orgasm. [url=www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3718878344] www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3718878344 During masturbation it is perhaps difficult to hold back, as we want to experience the best pleasure possible. Several women have mentioned their orgasms are much less intense when they start using a vibrator, because orgasm occurs much quicker, but& without as much blood engorgement and sexual tension developing. It is a matter of will power, and the luxury of time to do it, to explore sensual pleasure rather than orgasmic pleasure, to go straight for the big bang. On the other hand, when you masturbate in order to go to sleep or need to hide this activity, you condition yourself to quickies. If you only masturbated on Saturday morning when you had two hours to indulge, you might have a totally different sexual experience. The recent Q&A I added concerning the 5 year old girl provides an interesting perspective of what it is like when a girl doesn't know any better, and is given the time to indulge in guiltless pleasure, something teenage and adult women seldom get to experience, because as this mother believes, they have to reign in their sexual pleasure or risk harm. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_25.htm#10] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_25.htm#10 During partnered sex, you have the option of asking your partner to tease you for an extended period of time. You can ask them to physically restrain you and tease you for an hour, without allowing you to experience orgasm. Most people today believe the idea of sex without orgasms is crazy, but that was a more common experience for women in the past than it is today. While there can be physical discomfort caused by not experiencing orgasm, I believe knowing you haven't experience orgasm causing more distress. We are distressed because we believe everyone else is having orgasms. This subject is made more complex by the fact that some women do not want to explore their sexuality, they want it handed to them, as they mistakenly believe is the case for every other women. They want someone else to provide all the answers without any effort on their part. Others, on being given the answers refuse to accept them. Women are not equal on the sexual playing field, as is the case with all aspects of their life. They all aren't rocket scientists. They all don't have the same hormone levels, nerve densities, experiences, or knowledge to be sexual equals. We seem to readily accept the idea that we all can't climb Mount Everest or run a 3 minute mile, but not so willing to accept the realities of female sexuality. If you are to climb this mountain or run faster you must train to do so, which is what we often overlook when it comes to trying to accomplish sexual goals, or expect results to occur too quickly. Some women may experience their sexual peaks at the age of five, before they have any concept of sex and its potential consequences, and others don't reach theirs until they are in their forties or later, when their homone levels change during menopause. Others simply aren't sexual, end of story. | 2007-10-20 15:56:08 |
| 743 | 4990 | I haven't used the g spot vibrator for anything else other than clitoral stimulation lately.& I am just about fed up with penetration.& It just doesn't feel good.& Maybe I'm a lesbian.:( & "Get a few good books, read about the gspot. Learn about your body and again find something *you* like. " & That's what I have been doing with vibrators.& So far I have 3, and the only thing I've learned so far is that clitoral sitmulation feels good.& It has not helped me enjoy penetration in the least bit.& My vagina just does not respond well to that kind of sexual activity.& I might take another trip to the gyn and find out why. Like I said earlier, many sites focus on women who cannot orgasm but still *feel* pleasure..they dont' talk about women like me who feel no sexual pleasure at all.& I guess they don't how what to women like me besides rub my clit which doesn't help the unsual and strange feeling that I have when I am being penetrated with a penis.& I am going to go to a gyn and see if they can help me. | 2007-10-21 09:19:24 |
| 743 | 4991 | I have a strong feeling that no gyn will have anything to offer that can better your experience with penetration. They can't implant more nerve endings in there for example. Feel lucky that you are even able to have penetration. Some of us can't even do that. | 2007-10-21 10:59:50 |
| 743 | 4992 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "I have a strong feeling that no gyn will have anything to offer that can better your experience with penetration. They can't implant more nerve endings in there for example. Feel lucky that you are even able to have penetration. Some of us can't even do that. " They do have a procedure to enlarge your g spot, to make sex more pleasureable.& It's expensive but I am considering it someday.& Having absolutely no vaginal sensations during intercourse is frustrating.& I find intercourse to be pointless. Something has to be done about it | 2007-10-21 13:31:49 |
| 743 | 4993 | The results of that precedure only last 4 months and then you have to fork out to have it done again...and then again every four months plus there are a list of possible undesirable side effects and it has passed no clinical trials so I read up. If IC is pointless, maybe find something else that isn't? You don't have to choose something that doesn't do it for you and try and insist that it does. You can concentrate on getting your pleasure by other means. I can see this being a long term problem for you while ever you long for a highly sensitive G-spot that gives you mind blowing orgasms and work yourself up because it doesn't happen that way because you are destracting your attention from what really matters...things you obviously don't realise yet. As they say, the grass is always greener.... | 2007-10-21 13:50:53 |
| 743 | 4994 | If I were to ever get into a relationship, I don't know any guy that will settle with a woman who doesn't like IC and wants to do everything else but that.& Not being able to feel any kind of sensation vaginally is something that I simply cannot accept and don't want to.& Especially, when I know that many women out there do feel pleasure from sex, and I am one of the few who can't.& There aren't even that many articles that discuss the type of sexual dynsfunction I have--and yes I come to realize i have a sexual dysfunction. This is frustrating and depressing. | 2007-10-21 14:03:13 |
| 743 | 4995 | question: what's your opinion of felatio? giving oral sex to men? | 2007-10-21 14:06:43 |
| 743 | 4996 | Yeah, I've done that before.& I don't have a problem with it.& My ex loved it but got sick of just doing that and wanted to have penetration.& He thought sex was much more creative and pleasureable because of all the different positions involved. We never had sex that often because he was turned off by the fact that I didn't feel anything and didn't enjoy it.& He said I ruined the mood with all the "complaining" of it being uncomfortable or not feeling anything. & I'm just not happy at all.& I feel like doing other things is not going to help the matter at all.& I was surfing the net and ran across kegelexercisers..it mentioned it can help increase vaginal sensations..has this been proven to work? I like to think there's hope out there for me | 2007-10-21 14:19:17 |
| 743 | 4997 | well, look... you don't get any physical pleasure from felatio either, but you still do it, right?& with the right mindset, felatio should also turn you on despite the lack of sensation.& Likewise, a guy doesn't get any direct pleasure from cunnilingus, but we do it because we know you enjoy it.& good lovers enjoy giving it because it turns them on to see their partner pleased.& bad lovers are the ones who do so grudgingly and don't really put effort into it because they don't perceive the act as giving them pleasure (and there are a whole lot of men and women who think like this).& I know you'd like to have mind blowing g spot orgasms (which, by the way, don't typically come from intercourse since the penis isn't shaped to stimulate the g spot in most cases), but perhaps you should seek other forms of pleasure from this act and others. the other concern is that you seem to be in far too much of a rush to climax.& 15 minutes is quite short, and 3 minutes is barely enough time to get your pants off and on again.& I think you might be focusing too much on the end result rather than the experience as a whole. try getting some porn if you like and gently masturbate for as long as you can, rather than getting yourself to the brink or orgasm and then stopping to let the sensation fade.& slow your hands from the start and don't think about orgasm, but think about what you're doing in the moment.& I've personally masturbated for 2 or even 3 hours (time and mood permitting), but for you, try to go for at least 30 minutes or 45 if you can.& Enjoy what you're doing rather than seeking the release. | 2007-10-21 14:33:43 |
| 743 | 4998 | Remember that sex isn't just IC. IC is just one form of sex. There is nothing stopping you from engaging in IC with a guy and being sure that he gives you something that you get off on in return and then you can still get your pleasure. It's called giving favours. If he isn't willing, you'll never enjoy sex at all full stop. I'd learn to spend a bit more time on it also. I often spend over an hour working up before I even go near my crotch and I can have over 20 clit orgasms in one session one after another...sometimes three or four a minute. I doubt I'd have that many if I tried getting there in 5 minutes. I have done that in order to get to sleep only and had about 3 or 4 but that has practical reasons more than pleasure and I only resort to it occasionally. Thing is, I enjoy the work up just as much as the orgasms themselves...thats how I manage it. I have had to live without IC because of vaginismus but because I put more effort into other aspects, I know that I am not being so deprived just because& I can't do IC but not being able to have IC is probably the reason for that...funnily enough. | 2007-10-21 14:34:25 |
| 743 | 4999 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "well, look... you don't get any physical pleasure from felatio either, but you still do it, right?& with the right mindset, felatio should also turn you on despite the lack of sensation.& Likewise, a guy doesn't get any direct pleasure from cunnilingus, but we do it because we know you enjoy it.& good lovers enjoy giving it because it turns them on to see their partner pleased.& bad lovers are the ones who do so grudgingly and don't really put effort into it because they don't perceive the act as giving them pleasure (and there are a whole lot of men and women who think like this).& I know you'd like to have mind blowing g spot orgasms (which, by the way, don't typically come from intercourse since the penis isn't shaped to stimulate the g spot in most cases), but perhaps you should seek other forms of pleasure from this act and others. the other concern is that you seem to be in far too much of a rush to climax.& 15 minutes is quite short, and 3 minutes is barely enough time to get your pants off and on again.& I think you might be focusing too much on the end result rather than the experience as a whole. try getting some porn if you like and gently masturbate for as long as you can, rather than getting yourself to the brink or orgasm and then stopping to let the sensation fade.& slow your hands from the start and don't think about orgasm, but think about what you're doing in the moment.& I've personally masturbated for 2 or even 3 hours (time and mood permitting), but for you, try to go for at least 30 minutes or 45 if you can.& Enjoy what you're doing rather than seeking the release. " I enjoyed fellatio more than IC. With IC, I simply want to be able to enjoy the actual act itself.& I don't have any vaginal sensations when it comes to a man thrusting inside of me--I have occassional discomfort but as far the experience itself feeling good no.& I feel nothing, really. The articles that I read, usually feature cases about women who generally love having sex, and have pleasureable sensations from it--they simply can't orgasm.& They don't talk about women like me who don't feel anything--and if they do it's glossed over. I went to a GYN, and she did not help me one bit. All she did was give me birth control pills.& I am low income and I don't have health insurance to see a sex therapist.& I truly think I need one.& My next step is to possible find one for low cost or none at all.& This issue is really frustrating.& Because people seem to think that I am talking about the inability to orgasm when it's about the inability to derive any pleasure from IC | 2007-10-21 14:46:57 |
| 743 | 5000 | None of us will get pleasure from every form of sex and the stories you read or heard about women loving it represent how many women out of the whole global population of women? How many womens opinions of IC have you not heard? There is one other in this thread that doesn't feel much either. Better than feeling the intense splitting pain that I feel when I attempted it..and I repeat, Attempt... There are lots of other women out there who don't feel much or anything either...they get their pleasure by other means and the more you focus on those rather than the parts that don't do it for you, the more pleasure you'll get. While ever you obsess over those parts that don't work so well for you, you don't put the effort you should into the parts that could make you really happy. It's these things you don't seem to realise. A sex therapist would probably work with you to change your mindset about sexuality because thats what you really need and that would help a great deal more than anything else. Seeing one wouldn't change the fact that you don't feel intense pleasure during IC. Most sexual problems are not physical, they are mental. | 2007-10-21 14:54:35 |
| 743 | 5001 | does the penetration actually feel bad? or does it merely feel like penetration without any added sensation?& as I mentioned before (I think I did), I've spoken with women who could not climax at all with any kind of penetration i.e. the act of penetration prevented climax.& However, they still enjoyed sex as a total act.& I'm sorry, I don't exactly why you don't feel anything, but whether it's insufficient or non-present stimulation, I think the fact that you seem to view intercourse in particular as an act above and apart from other sex is a big part of your problem. You may be misconstruing what this other information is implying.& For a lot of women, they might call penetration that doesn't give them arousal as pleasant in the way that a non-erotic massage might be pleasant, but not sexual.& For other women, even if they enjoy the act of penetration, but it is insufficient to orgasm from, they might view the act of penetration as irrelevant by itself.& In any case, these women tend to add clitoral stimulation during intercourse, and the fact that they do might imply that they see penetration by itself as pointless much like you do, even if they do derive some sensation from it.& The point is that they view sex as a whole act rather than a type of stimulation.& You can enjoy intercourse by adding stimulation to your clit (and even your anus, if you are willing to try), but your insistence and obsession that the sensation come from your vagina is frankly going to inhibit you from enjoying the act at all. | 2007-10-21 15:00:19 |
| 743 | 5002 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "None of us will get pleasure from every form of sex and the stories you read or heard about women loving it represent how many women out of the whole global population of women? How many womens opinions of IC have you not heard? There is one other in this thread that doesn't feel much either. Better than feeling the intense splitting pain that I feel when I attempted it..and I repeat, Attempt... There are lots of other women out there who don't feel much or anything either...they get their pleasure by other means and the more you focus on those rather than the parts that don't do it for you, the more pleasure you'll get. While ever you obsess over those parts that don't work so well for you, you don't put the effort you should into the parts that could make you really happy. It's these things you don't seem to realise. A sex therapist would probably work with you to change your mindset about sexuality because thats what you really need and that would help a great deal more than anything else. Seeing one wouldn't change the fact that you don't feel intense pleasure during IC. Most sexual problems are not physical, they are mental. " Okay. You're right.& Maybe I'll have to work around it in some way or another. & " does the penetration actually feel bad? or does it merely feel like penetration without any added sensation?& " & It feels like penetration without any added sensation. It can feel bad if I am with a& man. the guy's body weight will cause pain and discomfort if he's entering me in the missionary position.& Also, I remember there were times when I had sex with my ex and I felt like I had to make a BM--this was in the position when my legs was over his shoulders.& Also with him, at times he wasn't as patient, I'd tell him to stop for a minute to adjust him being inside of me and he'd get frustrated and say that I'm ruining the mood when I tell him to stop. When I practice penetration with myself though, I don't feel any kind of pain or discomfort (unless the dildo is too big) mainly because I am more gentle with myself. | 2007-10-21 15:11:21 |
| 743 | 5003 | are you able to orgasm while being penetrated? even if the penetration doesn't contribute? | 2007-10-21 15:15:21 |
| 743 | 5004 | Deborah Sundahl, the author of a book on female ejaculation, and involved in the production of several videos on the subject, doesn't support this procedure, as it is not proven to work and not have negative side affects. www.isismedia.org/collagen_free_gspot_statement.html | 2007-10-21 15:19:33 |
| 743 | 5005 | The shape of a dildo is more important to G-Spot stimulation than is its size. A pronounced ridge, as created by the junction of the glans and shaft or a ball and shaft, tends to stimulate this area better. I wouldn't expect a straight plastic dildo or vibrator to work very well, though this is perhaps what most people buy. They may provide a feeling of fullness, but not be overly stimulating. Some women find their urethral opening, the urethral meatus, is so sensitive they mistake it for their clitoris. Some find stimulation of this area results in female ejaculation without the need for vaginal penetration, as the female prostate is often located just under the skin here, and some of the ducts of the prostate empty into the vulva in this area rather than the urethra, of some women. Brad | 2007-10-21 15:26:47 |
| 743 | 5017 | how would introduce a vibrator w/ a guy? and do you think it would cause a problem if i were to use it everytime i had sex? | 2007-10-26 08:13:25 |
| 743 | 5018 | in positions like various rear entry positions or female on top positions the man's body doesn't block the clitoris, so you just hold it in place that way. an insecure guy might feel that it's a sign that he doesn't please you, but a good lover would encourage you to use the vibrator if it made the experience more enjoyable. | 2007-10-26 18:07:18 |
| 743 | 5019 | Hi, You could tell them you have a surprise for them, start masturbating with your hands and then pull the vibe out from under a pillow. In the movie I watched a couple days ago, the woman's lovers found her Hitachi Magic Wand during sex, because she kept in under her pillow. In a discussion outside the bedroom you might tell them of your sexual needs, if you are to experience orgasm. Tell them what you have tried and what you have found that works for you. You can prefix your comments with, "Like a lot of women..." Unfortunately, many men and women still have no idea what women truly want and need in bed, but women seem to be more willing to fulfill their partner's expectations of themselves than the other way around, even if it requires them to fake it. Any person who has seen mainstream movies shouldn't be surprised that their partner may have or want a vibrator, though some guys believe for some odd reason "their" partner shouldn't need one. Many women face this situation. I don't recommend couples always do the same thing during sex. When the relationship is new doing the same thing over and over may work, but not once the relationship is more settled in and the newness wears off. If the goal is only orgasm, masturbation may simply be easier for both in that case. If you feel a need to have an orgasm and can only experience orgasm with a vibe, then do so. If you don't feel the need to experience orgasm consider it an option. Many still have a hard time with the idea that women don't necessarily need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex. To help mix things up you might consider getting some dice, with the more dice increasing your options. One dice 6 options, two dice 12 options, three dice 18 options, etc, but the minimum possible roll becomes 1, 2, 3, etc. A role of the dice would correspond to specific activity you can engage in during that session, as recorded on a piece of paper. You can have your options be something like 1) oral sex, 2) vaginal intercourse, 3) mutual masturbation, 4) her choice, 5) his choice,& 6) mutual body massage, etc. You can repeat your more popular/easy activities more than once and add spicy activities like mild bondage or anal sex less often. If your mood or time doesn't correspond with the roll of the dice them simply roll again. Couples often need to schedule time to be together, for intimacy and sex, or they simply don't have the time. Brad | 2007-10-27 13:08:10 |
| 743 | 5022 | I was wondering if kegel weights would& help& in giving me the& ability to feel pleasure during sex? | 2007-10-27 16:56:13 |
| 743 | 5023 | In general, improved pelvic muscle tone does improve pleasure for women during intercourse, but I believe you said in the past that even overly large dildos did not increase your level of pleasure. The increased muscle tone increases the friction, and perhaps blood flow to the area. Kegels wont help with sensation directly. It does help with body awareness, as you need to gain control over your pelvic muscles, and know when they are relaxed or contracted. Being able to voluntarily contract your pelvic muscles while engaged in daily activities would help you connect with this area of your body. Increased awareness may increase your perception of vaginal sensation. Brad | 2007-10-27 21:05:59 |
| 743 | 5024 | As a result of some of the comments in this discussion I have created a new survey that looks at the sensitivity of the vagina and size preference. Current results: [url=www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=716943146] www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=716943146 To participate: [url=www.misterpoll.com/716943146.html] www.misterpoll.com/716943146.html Brad | 2007-10-28 07:52:06 |
| 743 | 5025 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "In general, improved pelvic muscle tone does improve pleasure for women during intercourse, but I believe you said in the past that even overly large dildos did not increase your level of pleasure. The increased muscle tone increases the friction, and perhaps blood flow to the area. Kegels wont help with sensation directly. It does help with body awareness, as you need to gain control over your pelvic muscles, and know when they are relaxed or contracted. Being able to voluntarily contract your pelvic muscles while engaged in daily activities would help you connect with this area of your body. Increased awareness may increase your perception of vaginal sensation. Brad " Thanks.& I'll give kegels a try. I heard doing them without the weights are useless and ineffective. | 2007-10-28 09:12:46 |
| 743 | 5027 | I don't know if the weights are required, but they may help, but tend to be expensive, as they are often "medical devices."& I did see them for $60, which is less than the $100+ I have seen at times. They may help insure you are doing the exercises correctly. The statement about Kegels being ineffective without them could be an attempt at trying to increase the sale of merchandise, as obviously, if you are contracting the wrong muscles then "Kegels" don't work effectively without them. The weights help ensure the pelvic muscles are contracting, because you are holding something inside your vagina. [url=www.lifematters.com/art_kegel.asp] www.lifematters.com/art_kegel.asp [url=www.intimatemedical.com/VaginalCones.htm] www.intimatemedical.com/VaginalCones.htm [url=www.kegel-exercise.com/vaginal_cones.html] www.kegel-exercise.com/vaginal_cones.html "Since Kegel exercises are ineffective without resistance the Kegel Enhancer is designed to provide this. " From the following website: [url=www.vitamaker.com/pipedream.html] www.vitamaker.com/pipedream.html The Vaginal Cones weigh 20 - 70 grams, which is 0.7 to 2.5 ounces.& A US quarter weighs 0.2 ounces. Placing 4 to 13 quarters in a small plastic Easter egg may work the same, without the removal string, but you might be able to create a small hole with a sharp object and install a removal string. You would need to wash everything with antibacterial soap after each use, but being sure to rinse thoroughly afterwards. I just weighed 3 teaspoons and they ranged in weight& from 0.7 to 0.9 ounces. 3 tablespoons ranged in weight from 0.9 to 1.3 ounces.& If you first test a spoon using your lips, tongue and mouth for rough and sharp edges they may provide an inexpensive yet odd, but effective, vaginal weight, complete with handle.:shock: I am totally guessing, but the shape of spoons would perhaps provide something for your pelvic muscles to grasp while doing some of the exercises mentioned, those requiring you to stand. I don't know if you could walk, or vacuum your house, with one in place. Obviously don't sit down with a spoon sticking out of your vagina, as you could be seriously injured. Anyone willing to test this crazy idea? [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] When doing Kegels be sure to monitor your stomach muscles to make sure they remain relaxed. A finger in your vagina and a hand on your stomach should help you isolate your pelvic muscles. You can also learn to isolate these muscles by starting and stopping the flow of urine. Brad | 2007-10-28 10:44:28 |
| 743 | 5056 | Update: & I decided to go to the doctor one more time.& Again, I was disappointed.& She just told me that this is how my body is made, and to just have or al sex all the time:(& She told me that during my pap smear that my muscles would involuntarily tense up which was vaginismis.& After that visit I was just starting to accept maybe I need to just realize that vaginal penetration just isn't what my body is designed to do.& Until I asked a bunch of guys whether or not they'd stay in a longterm relationship with a woman who has a sexual dysfunction and that only pleases her partner with oral and other alternatives.& They all said no. And that a relationship can't grow without sex.& I'm crushed:? Whatever condition I may have it has caused me to seriously have low confidence and self esteem.& I don't even want to date men because I am afraid of getting hurt and I know that they are not going to want to anything longterm with me.& It seems like a sexual dysfunction just makes a woman an dating outcast.:( | 2007-11-10 07:39:33 |
| 743 | 5057 | As a vaginismus sufferer who cannot even have a smear, nevermind intercourse, I know what feelings are going through your head and I have also avoided dating and remained single as a result. It's horrible when people ask me why I'm not in a relationship and why I've been single for so long and all the rest etc...or make jokes about me never having a date. It is sad that your male mates you asked so far all seem to think that sex is intercourse and thats it. Intercourse is just one form of sex. What do they think oral and all the rest is? It's also sad that they think a relationship can't grow without it. There is much more to a relationship than IC. That said, you already know you are able to have IC but that you just don't get the pleasure from it that you feel you're expected to have. Instead of focusing on that and trying to find a way to make your vagina more sensitive to pleasure, try focusing on other forms of sex in order to get YOUR pleasure so that, at least you are getting it. A partner should have no problem catering to your needs and if he does, dump him quick. As you are able to have IC and you haven't mentioned it as being painful, there is nothing stopping you from engaging in it even if it's only your partner it is going to please. So long as he gave you what you want, it's just a way of giving back, I suppose. If you suffered the splitting pain that& I suffer which made it impossible....well, then there are more obstacles in your way then. | 2007-11-10 08:34:49 |
| 743 | 5058 | [user=4047]SexuallyFrustrated[/user] wrote: "Update: & I decided to go to the doctor one more time.& Again, I was disappointed.& She just told me that this is how my body is made, and to just have or al sex all the time:(& She told me that during my pap smear that my muscles would involuntarily tense up which was vaginismis. " Listen to canis, she knows tons about vaginismus.& You don't seem to have an extreme case of it, which is a good thing. "& After that visit I was just starting to accept maybe I need to just realize that vaginal penetration just isn't what my body is designed to do.& Until I asked a bunch of guys whether or not they'd stay in a longterm relationship with a woman who has a sexual dysfunction and that only pleases her partner with oral and other alternatives.& They all said no. And that a relationship can't grow without sex.& I'm crushed:? " That's a more complicated question than just "yes" or "no".& And it was also a loaded question biased towards yourself.& If you ask a guy if it's ok to never have intercourse, most will say no for a variety of reasons.& Even if the guy were giving and patient and more than happy to give you oral to please you, lack of intercourse means lack of children and family, which is a relationship killer for a whole lot of people when you are talking about long term relationships. There are guys our there who are more than happy to do whatever it takes to please their partner.& As I've told canis, there are even guys out there who would understand her severe vaginismus and be patient and willing to assist her with the issues standing in her way, and would be satisfied with oral until intercourse was possible. Now, why do I call it a loaded question?& Because your vaginismus isn't so severe that you are incapable of intercourse.& You are asking the question, not because you are unable to have intercourse, but because you prefer not to because you don't derive pleasure from it.& That's pretty selfish, though.& You don't derive physical pleasure from felatio or giving a man a handjob, but you seem willing enough to participate in those activities. Why treat intercourse any different?& If you are capable of intercourse and it pleases your partner, you should do it.& The caveat is, of course, that your partner is equally willing to perform cunnilingus and to use his hands on you until you are satisfied.& If you do everything in your power to please him, and he does the same for you, where is the problem? " Whatever condition I may have it has caused me to seriously have low confidence and self esteem.& I don't even want to date men because I am afraid of getting hurt and I know that they are not going to want to anything longterm with me.& It seems like a sexual dysfunction just makes a woman an dating outcast.:( " you have a very minor dysfunction in physical terms.& you are still able to participate in intercourse, you simply choose not to.& there are men who are unable to achieve or maintain erections, women who are unable to achieve penetration.& these people truly have it bad on the dating scene. your dysfunction is in the way you think about sex, not in your capability to have it.& you are upset that your reality doesn't fit your ideal or fantasy sex life and you don't permit yourself to enjoy any of it.& it's psychological, and the only thing standing in the way of a healthy sex life is your own mind. | 2007-11-10 11:15:23 |
| 743 | 5064 | I would caution you that doctors receive little or no training in sexual subjects and hence are often the least reliable source of information. What people say they are willing to do and actually do are two very different things. There are many couples in long term relationships who aren't having sex for one reason or another, and the most likely reason is they refuse to adapt to their situation. They buy into to social expectations of sex hook line and sinker and end up with no sex instead of enjoying what works for them. What you perhaps need to do is look for a guy who doesn't enjoy vaginal intercourse. Perhaps run an adult personal ad that clearly states what you are looking for in a sexual partner. Seems to me that guys who are impotent or premature ejaculators shouldn't have a problem with your needs. Another option is to pursue female partners, if you are by chance attracted to other women to some degree. | 2007-11-11 08:15:05 |
| 743 | 5065 | I don't know about dating a guy who is impotent..I do want to have kids someday.& I don't know too much about male sexual dysfunctions..do they like to receive oral sex or is it just& intercourse that they don't have? | 2007-11-11 12:08:10 |
| 743 | 5066 | impotent men and premature ejaculators still desire intercourse as well as oral, they are just embarassed becase they feel they don't live up to their gender role.& there are men, however, who are not turned on by the idea of intercourse.& I've known one or two who claimed not to like intercourse, but not many. I would advise against pursuing this for various reasons.& First of all, men who do not desire intercourse are rare, and the rejection you will face will do nothing but harm your self esteem more.& Two, you are entirely capable of intercourse, it just doesn't live up to the expectations you had developed from listening to the experiences of others (which myself and others have pointed out are often greatly exagerrated or outright lies). You would be far better off trying to find a man that is eager to give you oral than to find a man who doesn't desire intercourse. | 2007-11-11 12:27:40 |
| 743 | 5067 | I agree if the men see impotence or premature ejaculation as a dysfunction then a relationship with them would not be beneficial for you, as sooner or later they would want intercourse, or intercourse for longer periods of time. Impotent men can still produce ejaculate, as an erection isn't required for this. Men with paralysis are able to father children. Both you and your partner would need to accept your own uniqueness, whatever that may entail. You must each consider yourself normal, and have matching sexual wants and needs. We easily forget that some intersexed individuals who assume a female identity don't have a vagina, and obviously neither partner in a lesbian relationship has an organic penis, unless of course one of them is a lesbian identified male, yet these individuals still are capable of enjoyable sex. Brad | 2007-11-11 19:26:46 |
| 743 | 5076 | Okay last night I began to experiment again with my dildo and my clit vibrator.& I used the clit vibrator for about an hour so I had more than enough stimulation& before I& proceeded to vaginal.& I think I must have found my g spot because& as I was thrusting, it felt like I had to pee really bad.& I kept hitting it and then got scared and took the toy out.& I wasn't sure if I actually had to pee or if I was rubbing up against the g spot.& Well, when I took it out the feeling to pee had went away immediately.& And I had used the bathroom prior to going to bed. So it had to be the g spot. I'm still not sure. I didn't attempt to use the dildo again to see if I could orgasm from stimulating my g spot because I am afraid of letting myself go.& :? I don't know what to expect. Maybe you guys are right, my problem is psychological.& I've always been scared of sex. I've never been totally comfortable with having a penis inside of me--it's scary:- I try to convince myself that it's not scary but deep down it is.. | 2007-11-14 04:21:13 |
| 743 | 5078 | when you feel that urge that feels like the urge to pee, don't stop.& when you are aroused, your body should not let you urinate.& however, if you do let that feeling release, that is a strong indicator that you are likely to release some kind of liquid.& it may come in the form of vaginal gushing or in the form of female ejaculation, which is lubrication released through the urethra and will come out as if you were peeing.& it's important that you understand that this liquid is not urine.& and if you ask "why not? shouldn't urine come from there?" remind yourself that men ejaculate and urinate through the same orifice as well. your fears are understandable.& female ejaculation and/or gushing is a touchy subject.& women in this society are repressed and sexually ignorant (many men are sexually ignorant as well, though not as repressed).& sadly, it is a very common situation that is simply never taught to girls.& so when they grow up and start masturbating or having sex, they are never taught that this feeling that feels like the urge to pee is something else.& as a result, they become needlessly ashamed and either fight the feeling, or if they let the feeling go and do ejaculate, they falsely believe that they have bladder control issues and become deeply ashamed, which causes even more psychological impediments to sexual pleasure. so I advise you to try the approach you used again to get back to that point, but don't stop at that urge.& you may want to try this in a shower or bathtub if you'd rather not deal with a potential mess (some women ejaculate small amounts, other larger amounts).& You may find that you don't ejaculate at all, in which case this entire post is unnecessary, but its better that you have the knowledge in case it happens. Remember that you are an adult in a private place.& It's ok to let go, even if you don't know what to expect.& There is nobody there for you to be embarassed in front of, and its not something that should embarass you in the first place.& Some guys may react negatively to it if they are ignorant, but when a man is educated about female ejaculation, they generally accept it, and most often enjoy it. as for fear of sex, that is a totally different issue.& the real resolution to that is communication and trust with your partner, but that is a gross oversimplification. | 2007-11-14 11:25:26 |
| 743 | 5109 | I met a guy at work who is interested.& Should I tell him about my problem? Or just have sex and go with the flow and see what happens?? | 2007-11-25 14:58:53 |
| 743 | 5110 | I would be more honest with him and add that your previous partners didn't seem to take your pleasure into account and it affected you. I wouldn't tell him straight away mind but you need to communicate these things before actually having sex and come up with ideas together that you feel can make the experience more enjoyable. If you don't say anything, he could just do what he thinks he should do and it might not do anything for you and then you'll be stuck in the same old boat as previously. | 2007-11-25 15:20:33 |
| 743 | 5111 | what is he interested in? a relationship with you? casual sex? what he wants determines how and what you tell him. | 2007-11-25 16:46:00 |
| 743 | 5112 | he is separated from his wife right now so i'm not sure whether he wants another relationship or casual sex | 2007-11-25 16:54:11 |
| 743 | 5113 | Well, firstly, you have to ask yourself whether you want casual sex or something more than that and determine exactly what it is he wants. I certainly wouldn't rush into anything right now and if, by any chance, he just wants to use you for sex and you don't want that, I'd look elsewhere. | 2007-11-25 17:08:02 |
| 743 | 5114 | I'm not sure what I want really.& I am lonely and do& want companionship though.& Lately, I haven't had much luck finding someone I am relatively compatible with.& I'll just go with the flow and see where it takes me | 2007-11-25 17:15:07 |
| 743 | 5115 | At this point I would guess he wants his freedom and isn't interested in a long term relationship. If the marriage just ended, he may not have had sex for a while. If you are seeking more than sex then I recommend pursuing a different partner. Sleeping alone may not be a lot of fun right now, but it is less emotionally hazardous than trying to pursue a relationship with a guy who likely doesn't want one or is single again for good reasons. There is no law that says you have to engage in intercourse with him, so you might simply allow only those activities that you enjoy, just a young virgin teen may do. You can explain why later. Brad | 2007-11-25 18:43:51 |
| 743 | 5120 | [user=4047]SexuallyFrustrated[/user] wrote: "I'm not sure what I want really.& I am lonely and do& want companionship though.& Lately, I haven't had much luck finding someone I am relatively compatible with.& I'll just go with the flow and see where it takes me" as others have said, before you get involved make sure your needs and his match up.& you may feel that casual sex will solve your feelings of lonliness and your need for companionship, but odds are that it will make you feel like you are being used instead.& casual sex may be enjoyable, but it doesn't fulfill the same needs that a relationship does. a recently separated and not-yet divorced man is not what you really should be considering right now.& rarely do separated but undivorced men want relationships, more often they are pursuing a fling on the side for a variety of reasons.& I strongly suggest not getting in the middle of another person's relationship drama.& he probably won't be able to give you what you need. | 2007-11-25 20:55:48 |
| 743 | 5153 | I let this guy aware of my issue with sex. We haven't done anything.& But his advice was that the reason I don't feel anything is because of condoms. It can decrease& pleasure for both& men and women.& He suggests that the next time i have sex I should do it "raw".& Could that be a possibility? | 2007-12-02 16:37:48 |
| 743 | 5154 | no, because you have said yourself that no form of vaginal stimulation has worked well for you. the toy you bought gave you a tiny bit, but even then it was difficult, so you know its not a question of a condom. i would be wary of any guy that gives you the "condoms decrease pleasure" line, because it is rarely honestly given, and essentially false since condoms exist that are designed to increase vaginal stimulation beyond what a basic penis is capable of. | 2007-12-02 17:01:45 |
| 743 | 5157 | Yeah, sounds like he might just be trying to con you into going without because he'd prefer it. It isn't true so don't go with it. It isn't safe. If he slept with anyone else, he could have a STI without even knowing it and then pass it onto you& and there is always the added thing about getting pregnant. Never fall for that one and I'd question any bloke generally that came out with such things. Be careful with him. | 2007-12-03 09:54:39 |
| 743 | 5291 | Long Update: When I menstrate I get very aroused, so during the last days (my much lighter days when it's almost over) I had penetration with one of my sex toys and I was able to feel some sort of& pleasure.& It wasn't too bad! Defintely much better than from when I felt absolutely nothing at all.& It's harder to orgasm with clitoral when penetration is going on.& But I'm not complaining.& Not sure how it will be with a male partner because their penises are bigger than the slim dildo I used.& But it's a start.& Just thought I'd share. | 2008-01-16 08:02:31 |
| 743 | 5292 | [user=4047]SexuallyFrustrated[/user] wrote: "It's harder to orgasm with clitoral when penetration is going on.& But I'm not complaining. " I felt this way for awhile too. However, I finally got used to it and now sometimes it feels wierd to orgasm with no penetration. | 2008-01-16 10:44:03 |
| 743 | 5305 | & (TWO SUBJECTS IN ONE...& SATISFACTION DURING INTERCOURSE AND G SPOT STIMUATION ORGASM.) For those that feel nothing during sex (intercourse) I would ask... what comes before during and after such intimacy? To enter into that contact in an arroused state, the result of playing with your partner, foreplay, actual play (maybe even non vanilla contact), verbal and other stimulation may be the key.& This can continue beyond that before intercourse contact into the actual moment and then even beyond into after the physical act of having your man enter you. Yes this is a non vanilla type of approach.& I am a D/s minded woman of 49, fit, do my pc muscle exercises, and am comfortable with my sexuality.& When younger and handed intercourse without any of the above, I found it frustrating and fell short of any real satisfaction.& I am not surprised if the missionary position (or those short of other seductions) are falling short. That being said, there is always room for exploration and I have noticed that some of the posters have mentioned their thoughts on female orgasm and how the G spot can be triggered.& I am most interested and would like to bring this into my life and share this with my lover.& How would I best direct him to find this G spot?& It seems elusive at best... lol.& I have tried locating on my own and grrrrr.& Specifically, My question is:& What intercourse positions have yielded G spot arrousal and orgasm?& I noticed one person said when laid on tummy her man enters from behind his weight on her.& I would like to ask this person and others who have been successful in this to let me know what positions they have been in with their lover when entering or being entered. Also how to stimulate and discover this area in non intercourse ways would be helpful as well, even as far as being at my lovers direction (as well as on my own). Seems odd that I cannot achieve this for I am healthy and do go to extremes to ensure that my sensuality is maintained.... exercise wise, anything beyond pilates and kegels that are beneficial would also be appreciated. I have found an interesting wealth of information that others may find useful, in regard to perimenopausal (and yes menopause which I have not gotten to quite completely yet) years and support of sex drive.& There really isn't any need to let things& (sex/intimacy)retire so& to speak.. quite amazing and& contradictary to what society and Drs would have you believe.& If other ladies are interested in that, I would be happy to share! LadyR & | 2008-01-21 18:31:27 |
| 743 | 5323 | Hi, The positions that appear to work best for G-Spot stimulation are rear entry, sometimes anal intercourse works when vaginal doesn't, and when a woman in on top and controlling things. Deborah Sundahl believes the G-Spot needs to be awakened through gentle stimulation with fingers or a dildo with a pronounced ridge. She says many people are simply too aggressive and expect instantaneous results. She doesn't recommend the use a vibrator. I thinks she also says the G-Spot is located closer to the bladder than what others say. Deborah wrote the book Female Ejaculation & The G-Spot. If you haven't done so already you may want to read through my article on the subject. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm Brad | 2008-01-22 19:40:41 |
| 743 | 6780 | Hi SexuallyFrustrated, If your bf is not following what you want, than it is (in my opinion) rape. If you tell him to stop especially, and he keeps going, i'm sorry but in my eyes - that is rape!... I think you need to sit down and talk to him. [user=4047]SexuallyFrustrated[/user] wrote: "thank you for explaining it better. the times that i had sex my guy he& would just tell me to bend over and he'd just start thrusting.& and& then& he's in another world. if i tell him to stop or slow down he doesn't hear me or anything he just keeps going.& i feel like a blow up doll or something.& maybe next time i'll get a guy to follow those directions although it seems they just get carried away and don't really care. " | 2009-08-19 06:54:18 |
| 743 | 6862 | Hi [user=4047]SexuallyFrustrated[/user], I'm not sure if this has already been said so I will say it (I tried reading through all the replies first, but there are a million of them).& I have experienced exactly what you have described, and I have discovered that the cause is mentality. When I was first with the guy who is currently still my boyfriend, I really liked him and wanted a long-term relationship with him.& I thought that I wanted to have sex with him, but I was somewhat nervous about it.& Well, my first time, I felt nothing at all.& Again and again for months, I never felt anything during any sexual encounter.& I was perfectly capable of masturbating to orgasm and enjoying it when I was all by myself, but I couldn't even do that with him around.& Even when I was masturbating with him simply being there, I felt nothing!& But I didn't really worry because I was happy that he was enjoying himself.& I assumed that partner sex just wasn't my thing, even though I desired it a lot. In fact, it wasn't until several months later (it was almost a year later, even) that I started feeling anything at all.& And then it started feeling really really good, and I enjoyed the physical sensations a lot.& Later, I even discovered how to bring myself to orgasm from only having his penis in me - I would move my hips around in a weird way and he would have to hold absolutely still.& Then, when I was all finished doing what I liked, he would do what he liked (the usual thrusting in and out) and everybody was happy. This enjoyment lasted for almost another year.& But then, we fell on hard financial times, and we had to move into a shared apartment with about a million other people, most of whom I was actually kind of intimidated by.& I hated that living arrangement and I was constantly scared living there.& Well, in these circumstances, penetration went back to giving me no sensations whatsoever.& The whole time we lived there, I felt absolutely nothing during sex. But, then we got more money and got our own place again, and instantly I could feel sex again.& That's when I knew it was an anxiety problem. My interpretations: I started having sex with before I was mentally ready to, and before I really thoroughly trusted/loved the man (I was 21, about your age).& At this time, I was mentally freaked out by sex, and my anxieties totally numbed me to any sensations there might have been.& Then, when I truly and infinitely trusted/loved him, then it started feeling really good.& I was again numbed by fear when I was living in a freaky arrangement, so even though I still loved my boyfriend, simply living in fear numbed me towards sex. Thus, I have discovered that mental state and comfort/ease is critical in my enjoyment of sex.& Not only comfort with my lover, but also with my surroundings.& Just so you know, I have a lot of problems with anxiety in my life, but this was still a total shock to me.& I would have never imagined this to be the case.& And wow, what a time investment!& Almost a whole year before my body was comfortable enough around this guy to actually enjoy sex?& So, maybe this is what is going on with you, especially if you know you also have problems handling anxiety.& Do you live with your parents?& Knowing that they might hear you could also give you anxiety towards sex and numb you. Another, very different aspect to your numbness might be: if you are on the pill or any other chemically-based contraceptive.& After a couple of years of being together, a few scares with the condom falling off, and my boyfriend stating his dislike for condoms, I decided to use a pill contraceptive.& This was fine for about 10 months, but then I totally lost my sex drive (it used to always be totally insatiable) and I started being numb during sex again.& Well, we decided it wasn't worth it, so I quit the pill and we went back to condoms.& Immediately, there was an increase in my drive and sensitivity, but it took a full 6 months to slowly regain full libido and sensitivity during sex. Hope this helps! | 2009-09-24 04:03:32 |
| 745 | 5011 | At some point soon, me and my girlfriend are likely to have sex. We are both worried about pregnancy of course, and thats the main issue. What are the best condoms to buy, and how difficult are they to put on in an effective way. Howoften do they fail.... | 2007-10-24 17:48:13 |
| 745 | 5012 | how old are you first of all? | 2007-10-24 18:58:50 |
| 745 | 5013 | We are both recently 18+ a few months. | 2007-10-24 20:58:49 |
| 745 | 5014 | well, my first advice is to GO SLOW. if you don't already engage in other intimacy, like fondling and oral sex, I strongly suggest you start there and spend a while just learning about each others' sexuality without adding the pressure of intercourse and the complications it can bring. as for condoms in particular, buy the kind you can get at a reputable drug store, something like durex or trojan. don't get the cheap kind from a bathroom dispenser, don't use novelty/flavored condoms from adult stores, etc. Since your big concern is pregnancy, use a spermicidal condom (with nonoxynol 9).& Used properly, a condom has in the neighborhood of 98% effectiveness, but with user error the effectiveness drops to the low 90s or high 80s depending on who you ask. The big issues are: 1) only use 1 condom at a time.& using multiple condoms makes them more likely to tear during sex. 2) make sure there is no air in the condom after putting it on, as this can cause tears. 3) if you feel a tear, pull out immediately and put a new condom on. 4) when you ejaculate, pull out immediately while holding the condom onto the base of your penis. you don't want it sliding off. 5) use a fresh condom after each ejaculation if you plan on having multiple sessions of intercourse they aren't difficult to put on, just follow the directions on the box.& if there are no directions, you probably bought condoms that aren't reliable. a tip: try the condoms on before hand to make sure you know how to put them on properly. also handle them unrolled to make sure you don't have an allergic reaction to the latex or the spermicide, have your girlfriend do the same.& if you do, they make condoms from other materials, but latex is the most reliable. also, for pregnancy issues, it is best to use multiple forms of birth control at the same time.& specifically I mean that your girlfriend should be on birth control if possible, and you should use a spermicidal condom.& If possible, have her use a diaphragm as well, or a similar barrier method (but not a female condom, as using one with a male condom has the same risk as using two male condoms). using a single form of contraception with a 99% success rate gives you a 1 in 100 chance of pregnancy, while using 3 forms of contraception with a 99% success rate lowers that to a 1 in 1 million chance of pregnancy (statistically speaking). | 2007-10-24 22:30:47 |
| 745 | 5015 | Here are links to additional information on condoms: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom www.avert.org/usecond.htm www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control/condom.htm You might also find the information presented below, about the first time, of interest: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=2705980243 Brad | 2007-10-25 09:11:52 |
| 745 | 5470 | Hey, this is quite late, but thanks for the advice. What birth control pills would you suggest? What is the price? (Not that its really that important) | 2008-02-12 19:02:54 |
| 745 | 5471 | There are over 40 different types of birth control pills available and the appropriate one must be chosen by a doctor, taking into account risk factors and the like, after they discuss things with your girlfriend. I believe they make an educated guess as to the right one for her. While the Pill is the most effective for of birth control out there, I personally wouldn't use it if I was a woman, and would suggest my partner use it either. Just my personal opinion. www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/the-pill.htm www.mayoclinic.com/health/birth-control-pill/WO00098 www.healthywomen.org/healthtopics/birthcontrolpills en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_control_pill Brad | 2008-02-12 19:52:10 |
| 745 | 5479 | I would suggest the pill for sure.& Your girlfriend does need to talk to a doctor about it.& They are chemical/hormonal in nature, and there are a lot of different effects they have on the body.& One pill may cause negative side effects while others may produce positive side effects, it all depends on the formula of the pill.& It is, in theory, the easiest form of birth control to use.& If you are capable of following a schedule, you can use the pill properly.& It doesn't require attendance "in the moment" like other forms of birth control. A lot of women, particularly younger women, do get positive side effects from the pill, particularly menstrual regulation, clearer skin, increased sex drive, etc.& Others experience things like mood swings, tenderness, and other things.& Your girlfriend and her doctor need to figure out which pill is right for her body. | 2008-02-14 02:41:23 |
| 745 | 5481 | The Pill can also reduce a woman's sex drive rather than increase it, and this may not be a short term side effect: [url=www.webmd.com/content/Article/84/98116.htm] www.webmd.com/content/Article/84/98116.htm [url=www.epigee.org/guide/pill_sex.html] www.epigee.org/guide/pill_sex.html [url=womenshealth.about.com/cs/birthcontrolfaqs/a/birthcntrlproco.htm] womenshealth.about.com/cs/birthcontrolfaqs/a/birthcntrlproco.htm Today, I believe women are expected to take the Pill and when they don't people believe that is abnormal. Which is great for pharmaceutical companies at $20-50 a month. That is $240-600 a year. Multiply that by the number of women in the world of reproductive age. Admittedly this is cheaper than childcare for a year. I wonder how many men would take the male equivalent if they had to deal with the same potential side effects? If couples don't want to reproduce they shouldn't be engaging in a primarily reproductive act. Dating couples should always use condoms, but the Pill frequently allows couples to ignore the reality of STDs. "Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) affect men and women of all backgrounds and economic levels. In the United States, overall incidence of STDs has increased dramatically in recent years.[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#1]1 [/sup] The CDC estimates that 19 million new infections occur each year, almost half of them among young people ages 15 to 24.[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#2]2" [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp] www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp "[/sup]Who is Being Infected? In the United States alone, an estimated 19 million new cases of STDs are reported each year.[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#19]19 [/sup] This table shows the incidence and prevalence of some of the most common STDs. STD Incidence * Prevalence ** [url=www.cdc.gov/std/chlamydia/]Chlamydia 2,800,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#20]20 [/sup] *** [url=www.cdc.gov/std/Gonorrhea/]Gonorrhea 700,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#21]21 [/sup] *** [url=www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/]Syphilis 32,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#22]22 [/sup] (reported) *** [url=www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/]Herpes (HSV) 1,000,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#23]23 [/sup] 45,000,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#24]24 [/sup] [url=www.cdc.gov/ncidod/diseases/hepatitis/index.htm] Hepatitis B (HBV) 60,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#25]25 [/sup] 1,250,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#26]26 [/sup] [url=www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/]Genital Warts / Human Papillomavirus (HPV) 6,200,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#27]27 [/sup] 20,000,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#28]28 [/sup] [url=www.cdc.gov/std/trichomonas/default.htm] Trichomoniasis 7,400,000[sup] [url=www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#29]29 [/sup] *** & * Estimated number of new cases each year ** Estimated number of people currently infected *** No recent surveys on national prevalence for gonorrhea, syphilis, or trichomoniasis have been conducted." Brad | 2008-02-14 04:44:57 |
| 745 | 5485 | The US census says there were 46.7 million persons in the US between the ages of 14 and 24 on 7/1/06. If 9.5 million persons between the ages of 15 and 24 will contract an STD this year then 20.3 percent or 1 out of 5 will do so. US population numbers based on sex and age: www.census.gov/popest/national/asrh/NC-EST2006-sa.html | 2008-02-14 05:06:20 |
| 745 | 5487 | I take the pill but only because it stops me from being practically bed ridden every month. The physical problems I used to suffer during my period were too horrible to want to go back to. The pill pretty much got rid of all that so I can now actually function at that time of the month again. I wouldn't trust the pill on it's own though if I was to engage in IC. I'm living proof that it doesn't always work and, as I definitely don't want to get pregnant, sod's law says it would fail me. Still, talking about IC and saying people shouldn't engage in it if they don't want to get pregnant is overlooking the fact that, unless you want to end up single and lonely for the rest of your life, you pretty much don't have a choice....unless you're a lesbian.& If I had a male partner, he would expect it and would probably leave me if I refused to do it and use it as a perfectly valid excuse to leave& and most people would be in his side for it. I can't imagine most men being any different, or women for that matter,& so even if a woman could quite happily live without it, she still has to do it simply to keep her partner. As much as a person might disagree with this general attitude, it's a sad fact that this is how it is and no one person has the power to change anything...only hope they stumble across a partner with the same views as them...which is unlikely when you talk about this particular view. | 2008-02-14 05:16:22 |
| 745 | 5489 | Based on a couple Q&As I have received at least a small percentage of teens and young adults are looking for alternatives to intercourse. Admittedly they are likely virgins delaying the inevitable,& but some one needs to speak up for them and others who aren't succumbing to social pressures. Like the old saying goes, "If everyone else jumps off a bridge will you?" If everyone isn't engaging in intercourse we shouldn't be acting like they are. It seem women are much more likely to do what men want than the other way around, though guys seems to complain it is the other way around. Brad | 2008-02-14 09:24:14 |
| 745 | 5490 | I just want to offer up my experience with birth control pills. The first type I went on caused my skin to break out, so I switched to a different one after a month and that was much better. It doesn't seem to have affected my sex drive one way or the other. If you have insurance, the price is decreased - I pay about $4 a month for mine. I think clinics like Planned Parenthood and the like may offer reduced fees on pills also. | 2008-02-14 11:21:10 |
| 745 | 5491 | Oh,& I forgot to mention that, in the UK, there is no charge for the contraceptive pill. for most medications, those not on benefits and working have to pay a prescription charge but the pill is not included in that. I suppose they find it cheaper to hand that out free than they do to fork out in child benefit or abortion costs. | 2008-02-14 11:31:21 |
| 745 | 5492 | "but the Pill frequently allows couples to ignore the reality of STDs." That's the fault of ignorance, repression, and poor sexual education, not the pill.& Every ad for every pill I have ever seen states bluntly that it doesnt prevent transmission of STDs. | 2008-02-14 11:36:25 |
| 745 | 5493 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Based on a couple Q&As I have received at least a small percentage of teens and young adults are looking for alternatives to intercourse. Admittedly they are likely virgins delaying the inevitable,& but some one needs to speak up for them and others who aren't succumbing to social pressures. Like the old saying goes, "If everyone else jumps off a bridge will you?" If everyone isn't engaging in intercourse we shouldn't be acting like they are. It seem women are much more likely to do what men want than the other way around, though guys seems to complain it is the other way around. Brad " Are there social pressures? Yes. Do we exalt intercourse higher than we should? Yes.& Still, you can't blame society entirely for the pressure to do so.& The very nature of what intercourse is and the risks involved in doing it does set it apart physically and emotionally, so there is always a pressure and yearing to engage in that particular act even without society helping it along. | 2008-02-14 11:47:30 |
| 745 | 5576 | Hey thanks for all the help. One last thing. We realise that we wont be having sex very often, as in once ever 3 months or more, just because of time, insane scheduals, and a number of other issues. It seems rather alot for her to have the 28 day pill and all that, but we would still want to have to methods of prevention. Since it is only very occasionally, would morning after pills be okay if it isnt all that regular? Just figuring things out in a hectic life. Thanks | 2008-03-12 21:19:38 |
| 745 | 5597 | Chris, I'm totally guessing but I would expect the morning after pill to have higher doses of hormones, have more potential side effects, and be harder on the body. I probably sound like broken record, but you might consider other ways of having sex without have sex. Intercourse is only one out of thousands of potential sexual activities you can explore together. Remember the brain is the largest sexual organ, and if lesbian couples can lively happily without penile/vaginal intercourse why can't heterosexual couples? Brad | 2008-03-16 17:32:52 |
| 745 | 6184 | Hey everyone, it has been awhile. My girlfriend and I did eventually have sex, and were able to a few times.....and now I live in Scotland, and she lives in Utah. For safety reasons she would like to go on some sort of birth control, and we would use at least two other types of protection (condoms, spermicide). A few questions: She wants to use the Nuva Ring, which to me sounds pretty good. The only thing is that she really cannot gain weight ever because she is a professional ballerina. Any advice. Also: Since we will only see eachother every three months or so, she will only use the ring for a little while leading up to seeing each other again. Does this work well? Thanks | 2008-10-26 18:13:57 |
| 745 | 6226 | Bump for last question..... | 2008-11-06 15:27:55 |
| 745 | 6229 | Official Website: www.nuvaring.com/Consumer/index.asp Prescribing Information: www.spfiles.com/pinuvaring.pdf May cause fluid retention May cause change in weight During 1 year of use, 1 or 2 women out of 100 using it will become pregnant. Intended to be inserted on the first day of menstruation and left in place for 3 weeks continuous. If inserted on days 2-5, then a condom must also be used through day seven. | 2008-11-06 17:52:13 |
| 745 | 6233 | hm... nuvaring sounds interestingly... never heard or read of it before...does anyone have an idea if it is possible to use nuvaring from the first time on? Not that I´m ready to start for it anytime near or could even imagine to really deeply fall in love, but I´m just thinking of it as an option ... is it possible to get it in place for me as a virgin:shock:? & | 2008-11-08 01:04:15 |
| 745 | 6250 | I would presume the inexperienced don't know their body well enough to use this method. You have to be comfortable with and able to insert your fingers into your vagina, all the way to your cervix. It will require more skill than inserting a tampon, and require more relaxed muscles than tampons do, or so I would presume. | 2008-11-09 08:59:52 |
| 746 | 5021 | Last night I thought of the idea of using flash cards to increase sexual communication in relationships. The idea being that you create flash cards and use them in front a mirror by yourself until you are comfortable doing so and then use them with a partner. There would be his and her cards. You would sit opposite of each other and take turns reading the cards the other holds up. Through repetition you could increase your level of comfort using these words and phrases. You would want to practice using words that you might not actually use, just to increase your comfort with those that you do or would. As a result of using them in a nonsexual situation would feel more comfortable using them during sex, and more likely to express your true wants. Good or bad idea? Word Category: Anatomy, Medical Examples: Vulva Clitoris Penis Testicles Word Category: Anatomy, Slang Examples: Pussy Clit Dick Balls Sentence Category: Anatomy, Medical Examples: Please kiss my vulva. Suck on my clitoris. I want to hold your penis. Do you want me to caress your testicles? Sentence Category: Anatomy, Slang Examples: Please kiss my pussy. Suck on my clit. I want to hold your cock. Do you want me to play with your balls? Sentence Category: Sexual practices, formal Examples: I want cunnilingus tonight Please suck on my penis. I want to perform fellatio on you tonight. Do you want me to caress your nipples? Sentence Category: Sexual practices, slang Examples: I want you to eat my pussy Please suck on my cock. I want to suck you cock tonight. Want me to play with your balls? Sentence Category: Dirty Talk, tame Examples: Come here sexy. You have beautiful breasts. I like your big hard cock. Sentence Category: Dirty Talk, more taboo Examples: Spank my naughty bottom. I'm going to fuck you long and hard. I'm going to deep throat you. Fuck me now. | 2007-10-27 16:51:21 |
| 747 | 5034 | Hey all, Me and my girlfriend were fooling around last night, and we got a little dry after a while and didn't have any lube handy. I know we probably should've stopped there, but we didn't. By that point I checked the condom and it was still intact. So I flipped her over so she was facing down on the bed and we decided to just rub against each other. I was rubbing her lips with my little guy when I decided to check the condom, and it had broken and I had slipped through. Now granted, I didn't cum, and we were kinda dry, so anything didn't have much to swim up in. I'm just a bit scared because we've never had a time before now where it was even questionable that we had been unsafe. We're a bit new at this, so I guess I what I was wondering was (keeping in mind that it was still visually intact while I was inside her, and it was visibly broken after we started rubbing), could there have been a hole in the condom while I was still inside, even though it wasn't visibly broken? Or would any tiny hole have definately caused it to visibly tear as I saw it later after penetration had stopped? We just want to know if we should pick up some Plan B. Also, just to give all the details, we're picking up birth control pills in the next day or so. We were apart from the summer so she stayed off of them till now to save some money. Will starting that cycle affect anything? I did read from www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/outer.htm& a bit but I'd like to hear from some people. Thanks everyone. Let me know if I need to clarify any details! | 2007-11-02 09:27:25 |
| 747 | 5035 | Hi, I don't believe there is an accurate way of knowing the risk of conception. You might consider the morning after pill if there is risk. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emergency_contraception If you know where she is at in her menstrual cycle you would have a better idea of knowing if there is a risk. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_2.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_21.htm#3 Brad | 2007-11-02 13:26:27 |
| 749 | 5039 | I bought a new vibrator today, a rampant rabbit, and i just have afew questions. the ears are fine, they have about 7 settings which work great (though my orgasms are extreamly fast, nothing to shout about and last only seconds, a problem in itself) the real problem is the shaft part. i dont know if i actually did put it in my vagina. i put it in the opening under where the pee comes out and above the bum, where i'm only guessing the vagina is. and it also hurt, quite alot. not so much the first inch but the rest felt really bad. it isnt a large virbrator, i picked it cos its so slim and small, yet it really really hurt. i was lubricated too. it doesnt hurt now, as i'm sitting down, so thats a good sign. just wondering if it hurt cos it wasnt in the right place or if it is as simple as i'm not used to something being pushed in there. and what could i do about those orgasms, i suppose i'm lucky i feel anything at all but it is bad that its so quick. & thanks for any help | 2007-11-05 09:10:07 |
| 749 | 5040 | you found the right spot, and yes, if you're not used to being penetrated, it does take some time for your vagina to become used to it.& start small and/or slow and work your way up in size or in further as you are able to do so without pain. | 2007-11-05 11:12:58 |
| 749 | 5041 | In general, the main part of rabbit and combination style vibrators will be too large for those who are not experienced with vaginal penetration, or who are unfamiliar with their anatomy. I recommend using only the ears on your clitoris, perhaps using your fingers to begin with, to allow a slower build up to orgasm, and exploring your vagina with your fingers, while aroused but not necessarily trying to experience orgasm, to help you learn more about your body. When you can comfortably insert 2-3 fingers into your vagina you may be more prepared for inserting the vibrator into your vagina. Vaginal penetration, of appropriate size, often increases the pleasure experienced during orgasm. Brad | 2007-11-05 12:40:10 |
| 749 | 5042 | thanks for the info, i'm quite glad i found the right spot. & the first inch actually felt quite nice, it was just when i pushed it further that it hurt. i dont like the idea of fingers too much as i'm not that comfortable with toutching myself, i usually toutch my clitoris through my underware | 2007-11-05 15:25:31 |
| 749 | 5043 | I would encourage you to explore your anatomy, as you become comfortable doing so. You might explore the inside of your mouth, as it too is warm and wet, to help become more comfortable with your vulva and vagina. You might spend time looking at your vulva in a mirror prior to exploring it with your fingers. Looking at all the vulva pics on the website might help prepare you for that. You can use the vibe over your underwear if necessary, or even over your pants and underwear, to decrease the intensity of the stimulation and prolong the build up to orgasm. Don't forget to use your brain to help get you started, as it too helps with arousal and the intensity of your orgasms. If you are looking for new ways to masturbate without actually touching your bare vulva you might want to read the article about outercourse on the website. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/outer.htm Brad | 2007-11-05 17:45:12 |
| 749 | 5044 | I'd also encourage you to work on your aversion to the vulva and learn to touch it with bare fingers. All through childhood, we are discouraged from touching that area directly and given the message that it is dirty and disgusting so many girls grow up with this same aversion. I had it and I worked to get rid of it. Start in the shower when fingers and such are nice and clean and when you are ok with that, you can start doing it at other times also. It was very helpful for me to do this and I know it will help you too. | 2007-11-06 09:53:26 |
| 749 | 5045 | My aversiom to toutching myself is mostly self esteem, IE "i'm disgusting" but its also down to my mother. she's made it very clear to me what sexual activities are wright and wrong (in her mind) like she's told me before not too long ago that if i marry and my husband wants to have anal sex, or even just vaginal sex from behind, i should divorce him. No joke. she's also told me (when i was about 9/10 and said that i was in love with my female cousin) that such feelings were unnatrual, wrong,& that its impossible for two women to make love and that anything they do do to each other is disgusting. whenever masturbation has been brought up, (not by me, either on a program we're watching ect) she's said that its disgusting that people toutch themselves, that those parts shouldnt be toutched and that its dirty. "Not in my house" Also that sex is always wrong unless your in love. What crap. If you're being 100% safe about it and being discrete whats wrong with sex without love? As some here may know, my mum is very difficult to live with on all levels and i'm very soon to be moving out. so there goes half the problem i guess. | 2007-11-07 06:25:41 |
| 749 | 5046 | I'd say that's more than half the problem.& Not only is she a major source of putting these ideas in your head, but she is constantly reinforcing them while you live with her. the point being that without her presence, not only will she not be verbally saying these things, but her lack of presence should make it easier for you to assert your own feelings on the subjects. | 2007-11-07 11:23:42 |
| 749 | 5047 | The self esteem and your mother are connected. If your self esteem regarding sexual things is low, then I can only imagine that it was your mother that made it that way with all the comments and things she's said and continues to say. So, in effect, they aren't two things but one thing. Chances are, your mother had the same ideas drilled into her as a child as well and so knows no different. | 2007-11-07 14:12:27 |
| 749 | 5048 | You should be commended for being as sexual as you despite the obstacles placed before you. You are lucky to be able to masturbate at all, let alone feeling confident enough to buy a sex toy. :-D At this point, feel proud of the sexual skills you have, and as circumstances permit, consider expanding upon them. Don't be overly concerned with what others believe you should be doing, but concentrate on enjoying the things you can do. ;) | 2007-11-07 21:17:11 |
| 751 | 5050 | how high on the list for men is it to see a woman masturbating and making herself come? Does it matter if it starts with a striptease? If she wiggles out of her panties for you? Should a show with breasts always precede her playing with her pussy for you? Do you like a narration where she tells you what she wants to do (like ride you goodee hehehe) or you to watch as she tells you what areas please her most (I like going from the inner thighs to the mound)... Is it better if you play with yourself as your woman is fingering her pussy? & Missi r Malena | 2007-11-08 20:52:00 |
| 751 | 5051 | Watching a woman masturbate and enjoy it is extremely high on my list.& A sexy striptease is good, but once she actually starts masturbating, I don't like her to put on a show for me.& It turns me on when she does what she really enjoys and just lets me inside that private moment to watch.& So basically, if she moans, talks, shudders/shakes, squirts, laughs, etc... she should do it because it comes naturally. One of my favorite porn vids is of a girl masturbating where she doesn't make a sound except for slightly heavy breathing right before she comes.& She talks to the guy filming it in a slightly shy, yet bluntly honest way about what she likes. | 2007-11-08 21:08:05 |
| 751 | 5052 | is it more exciting if you happen to walk in on a woman playing with herself, or if she wants to show you how she gets off? Also do you get turned on when she is getting herself off that you ,well, you know.... | 2007-11-08 21:13:11 |
| 751 | 5053 | never walked in on a girl masturbating, so I can't say.& I'd probably be embarassed for intruding and excuse myself, but if she asked me to stay, I would definitely enjoy it. and yes, a masturbating woman makes me strongly inclined to do so myself. | 2007-11-08 22:08:26 |
| 751 | 5054 | I would guess it depends on the individual, as there are still a lot of guys and girls out there who believe girls/women don't and shouldn't masturbate. So for some the reaction would be the totally the opposite. I believe both could be equally arousing, as they present two totally different scenarios. In one she is sharing a secret and admitting to being sexual, in the other you are witnessing a secret and private sexual moment, being a voyeur. I haven't experienced the two scenarios you mention, but have asked and encouraged women to stimulate themselves during partnered sex, and find watching that arousing. Brad | 2007-11-09 06:33:11 |
| 751 | 5055 | Re "for men is it to see a woman masturbating and making herself come" That really, really depends on the "man" ie his interests. It is on a long list of activities/subjects that 'men' can be very interested in. As a subset or niche subject it seems well liked and supported. | 2007-11-10 06:43:15 |
| 751 | 5059 | I wouldn't call the female orgasm a niche subject.& Male obsession with female orgasm is the source of quite a lot of dysfunction for both genders.& The male sexual ego is intimately tied with his perceived ability to make a woman orgasm, and many women suffer self esteem issues because of the pressure and expectation for them to orgasm easily. | 2007-11-10 11:18:42 |
| 751 | 5060 | It should be a two way street... If you want your partner to demonstrate their technique for you, you should be willing to do the same for them. I would prefer the demonstration without a lot of theatrics... as if they were doing it by themselves. My 2 cents worth! | 2007-11-10 22:53:20 |
| 751 | 5061 | seeing my wife masterbate would be a definite good time for me and also a great learning opportunity. a lot could be learned by paying attention to what she does and how she does it. learning these techniques should be of great benifit to you and your partner the next time both of you are intimate. i would think the hard part of all this would be getting her to masterbate for me to begin with. | 2007-11-10 23:38:36 |
| 751 | 5063 | & Melissa malena, thanks for introducing this thread. how high on the list for men is it to see a woman masturbating and making herself come? For me, very high. Does it matter if it starts with a striptease? If she wiggles out of her panties for you? Neither is necessary for me. Should a show with breasts always precede her playing with her pussy for you? It is very nice to see. My first preference always is to see the woman, naked, sitting and opened so that I can see she is lubricated already. Then she goes on all-fours, legs apart, tits hanging. I like her to have an hand covered with warm oil with which she milks her tits, one after the other. Then she goes down on to one face-cheek so that her arse-rounds are pushed high and her dry hand comes down or around to begin teasing around her navel, her mound, her upper inner thighs, her lips and her clit. Her oiled hand can come to her anus, circling it slowly, pushing a nail into the cleft wall, then back to the anus. As she commences to cum, I like to see her press down on her clit as she pushes a finger into her anus. Do you like a narration where she tells you what she wants to do (like ride you goodee hehehe) or you to watch as she tells you what areas please her most (I like going from the inner thighs to the mound).. No. If she moans naturally that is a bonus. . Is it better if you play with yourself as your woman is fingering her pussy? It is best for me if my wife is watching with me, or another woman is, so that I can feel her for a while and then she can go down on me. If I am watching alone, always, but slowly and gently!! | 2007-11-11 07:04:57 |
| 751 | 5074 | Speaking for myself, I've never been significantly aroused by seductiveness. So stripteases and come-hither looks and roleplaying and "chewing the scenery," so to speak, just don't do it for me. I am much more aroused by a woman who acts naturally, is my equal, and is not submissive. Masturbation and self-fondling are, of course, natural behavior and although I've never seen a woman masturbate "in the flesh," nor have I done that in front of a woman, I think I would enjoy both quite a lot. I would especially love to have her narrate what she is doing, hear and see what it does to her expressions and voice and body language and voice as she comes, and assist if she needed any help! | 2007-11-13 23:12:53 |
| 753 | 5072 | As I get older, my partner seems to have longer endurance during intercourse while, darn it all, I seem to be going in the other direction. So I had this bright idea that I'd like to ask your advice about. She is very much into intercourse but is reluctant (at best) to try oral sex -- especially cunnilingus during foreplay. After usually 10 to 20 minutes of non-oral foreplay (except for licking and sucking her nipples, which she does like), we will begin intercourse, and then it will always take longer for her to become intense and "primed," so to speak, than I do. But when she does, she is able to maintain that high level of intensity for quite a while -- too long, some times! I, on the other hand, do my best to pace myself so I can stretch our "inside time" as long as possible and hold off coming before she does. But that doesn't always work. If I can stay hard long enough to remain inside her until her orgasm (which, when this happens, usually comes anywhere from 30 seconds to three minutes after mine) it's no problem. But if I can't, this leaves her in a highly frenzied and frustrated state, and I hate to be the cause of that! So here's my bright idea... I'd like to try to "get her caught up to me" by interrupting intercourse and switching to cunnilingus, which makes me extremely hard and higly desirous. I have a theory that she would enjoy cunnilingus more while she is feeling the intensity from intercourse. Then, when I can sense she is on the edge of her orgasm, I would re-enter her and probably be pretty ready to come myself at the same time. So -- and I know that no two women are like -- my big questions about this are: 1. Does this sound like a good idea? Is this something that a lot of women would enjoy? 2. Will her pussy likely be extremely sensitive right after I pull out and start licking and sucking her there? Both her labia and her clitoris usually swell noticeably during intercourse -- are either likely to be very sensitive and liable to be painful, or would she likely be wanting me to "really go at it"? I know that this is a situation where I would have to "feel her out" and go by her physical cues, but I'd like to do it right the first time so she doesn't have an uncomfortable experience and perhaps develop an even stronger adversion to cunnilingus as a result. And one other "bright idea" of mine... Since she has two orgasms about a third of the time that we have intercourse (usually about two minutes apart, and I always come during her first one), does it make sense for me to try to bring her to her first one orally, and then the second one through intercourse? Thanks in advance! | 2007-11-13 17:53:02 |
| 753 | 5073 | well, to begin with i'm 61 and i wish i had the great and exciting sex life it appears you have. the interuption to go to oral is a great idea. wife and i did this same thing years ago and it was a great turnon for both of us. going at it until she came was my favorite. i would still be doing it, but the wife just isn't to the oral any more. i just love giving oral sex. love every thing about it, including he taste of the juices. just need to convince my wife. lol | 2007-11-13 22:41:29 |
| 753 | 5091 | I think that before you give a woman cunnilingus you have to have her consent. It's& a very intimate& act and& may psycologically block her if she doesn't agree.& I might suggest you start by massagging and kissing the insides of her legs, working your way up her thighs, then slow delicate kisses around her vagina without using your toungue. Reassure her that you won't actually lick her or kiss the vagina itself. You must build her up (through the course of several sessions) pazience is essential. Tell her how beautiful she is down there - a lot of woman think that that part of their body isn't clean which would probably be an excellant reason to take a shower with her beforehand taking special care cleaning both of your genitals (there are special products with a delicate Ph fot htis purpose).& Hope my advice was of some help. I think it's great that you're so concerned and attentive to her pleasure, it's a real problem with younger men these days. | 2007-11-17 04:02:37 |
| 753 | 5098 | don't think i would have a problem with the permission part. lol. i don't remember her ever complaining. i was as delicate as i could be. she was very sensitive and appreciated any attention she got down there. me giving her oral was one of my favorites kinds of sex. and her orgasming with me down there was a real turn on for me. it was ussually a few minutes until we could return to intercourse because of her sensitivity. i loved the taste and loved it even more as she came. a sweeter taste! boy, you've really got me thinking now. i wish she'd still let do that kind of stuff, but she thinks we're too old for that or most any form of sexual activity. (i'm 61 and she's 57). | 2007-11-17 14:00:21 |
| 755 | 5080 | While I have looked at the surveys on the website that list the percentages of women polled who have masturbated in different public places, I'm curious to hear other women share some of the details behind those experiences. For instance, were there other people around at the time? Did they know what you were up to? What is the most unusual place you have masturbated? What prompted you to indulge yourself in an unusual venue? To get things started, I suppose I will share one of my experiences. When I was about 16 (I am almost 21 now), I flew across the country by myself to visit a couple of colleges that I was considering applying to. On the last transfer flight on the way home, a very attractive man was in the seat next to me. We exchanged pleasantries, and then both went about or own business--he looking over some notes for a presentation he was giving the following day, and me studying for a test. He was probably in his late twenties or early thirties, and although he was not extraordinarily good looking, for some reason I was turned on just sitting next to him. I don't know if it was his scent, his voice, or what... but I could not get my mind to stop wandering away from the schoolwork I was supposed to be doing and onto thoughts of what it might be like to give myself to him and have an older, more experienced man have his way with me. I finally put my books away and decided to just take a nap. Since I was in a window seat, I bundled up underneath a blanket and leaned against the window to try to calm my mind. Fortunately or unfortunately, it didn't work at all. I was just too aroused to think of anything else.& Finally I gave in and discretely slipped a hand underneath my blanket and inside my pants. Taking great care to control my breathing and facial expression, I stimulated my clitoris with tiny fast movements of my finger and came to orgasm right there on a booked flight with dozens of people around me... and the object of my fantasy was sitting right next to me totally unaware of the pleasure he had provided:D. While I realize that this experience is probably not commonplace, have any women here done something similar--whether in public, with other people around, or just some place that might be seen as inappropriate? And for the men reading, have you been with any women who have partaken in slightly exhibitionist masturbation practices where you were either a spectator or a participant? @};- Rose | 2007-11-14 16:33:42 |
| 755 | 5082 | Didn't you have any movement when you orgasmed? LOL, my body just starts jolting about when& I orgasm and I'm not sure I could mask that even if I could mask the breathing and facial expression. Maybe just make it look like an innocent fidget but not stop the movement altogether. I can't say I masturbated in unusual places like yourself though so no experience to add to this conversation. I read about a woman who orgasmed on a bus involuntarily because of the vibration that sometimes occurs on the seats. I sometimes used to feel it, especially when the bus was stationary at a stop or stuck in traffic. The vibration would come through the seat and sometimes felt quite nice but, again, it wasn't deliberate masturbation. | 2007-11-15 10:06:58 |
| 755 | 5085 | Hi Rose I wish more females sahre experiences like yours, I did see a girl(she didn t realize I oculd see her thru a mirror)& siting in the back of the Doctor's waiting room with a short skirt, legs tightly together and rithmically swinging them until she tensed, closed her eyes and came.& Luisa& | 2007-11-15 14:41:51 |
| 755 | 5086 | I'm a guy, but I've masturbated in various places.& The biggest one was in a classroom after the students and teacher had left, this was in my second year of college.& I had the hots for a girl in the class and she had a spectacular body, so one day after they were all gone, I masturbated in the sink (it was an art classroom). needless to day, I washed the sink out with soap and hot water afterwards, but it was a thrill to be sure.& I've also masturbated outdoors while camping on a few occasions. | 2007-11-15 16:23:19 |
| 755 | 5087 | To answer your question, Canis, I did tense up, but my orgasms don't usually involve violent jerking. It was more of a tense-in-place kind of thing. The only thing that would have been noticeable to someone paying attention was that during orgasm I was holding my breath and my toes curled (the two signs that I can never control). | 2007-11-15 19:03:12 |
| 755 | 5088 | Ah, just goes to show how differently our bodies react when we experience the big O. When I reach that moment, my whole pelvic area& suddenly jolts and spasms and I don't have control over that so I couldn't pull off a sneaky orgasm whilst other people were around...haha. Once I had that jolt, I could not hold my breath either but I tend to breathe slow and deep during build up anyway and then breathe faster once I reached that point. I have to breathe to coincide with the jerking that my body does so long loud moans are not really possible for me because my breathing would be too quick by that time. | 2007-11-16 09:30:58 |
| 755 | 5106 | My partner (51yrs old) is currently working overseas for 3 months and is having a fairly stressful time.& Although she masturbates in her room (and on the phone to me..!) In her spare time she loves to shop, she says she finds clothes shopping a combination of tense and erotic. To relieve shopping tension she (believe it or not) masturbates in change rooms in the shops. She said she has done it about 20 times in her life, and about 1-2 times a week in the last month or so. She watches herself undress, (down to her knickers and bra) in the mirrors, then closes her eyes, stands on her right leg, crosses her left ankle over her right ankle and squeezes her thighs and 'pumps' her clitoris (no manual stimulation). She has an intense orgasm within 1-2 minutes and says her biggest challenge is not groaning or falling in ectacsy.. She smiles to herself in the mirror then dresses and leaves the store. She says it is not really a 'sexual' experience, nor voyeuristic, she says it is just pure and simple shopping tension release, but of the highest order. I have watched her masturbate like this at home, but she says it is better for her after 3-4 hours of shopping. Probably the other interesting thing is that she says she feels amazingly different person after masturbating, she feels really really tense before, but after an orgasm she smiles and is a different person...& Her first time was after an intense argument with a shop assistant (for which she admits she was being overly and unfairly grumpy to the assistant). So she took the clothes to the change room but was still feeling really tense so she masturbated. When she came out she was lively, happy and nice to the assistant... | 2007-11-24 02:39:53 |
| 755 | 5107 | Because she can masturbate standing up and without manual stimulation, one of our next pleasures is for us to have her to masturbate whilst we are slow dancing at a party. The idea being we are hugging and slow dancing, then she lifts her leg and masturbates with not only other dancers around but also guests at the tables watching the dancers.... Life is good...! | 2007-11-24 02:46:21 |
| 755 | 5159 | Hey i'm in highschool still i'm 13 and sometimes i have crossed my legs and did like what luisa1 said in class. i did not get an orgasm but i felt pleasure! i can't believe that you masturbated on a plain! great page! | 2007-12-03 14:59:46 |
| 755 | 5160 | I have accidentally orgasmed in public due to sitting on the edge of a seat in class, which was embarassing because I moaned and suddenly tensed up.& No one realised I had orgasmed, they thought I was crazy instead.& There was another time I orgasmed when changing tampons in a public toilet, unfortunately there was someone nearby. I have only masturbated at home.& I'd be too afraid of getting caught to do it in a public place when it isn't by accident. | 2007-12-03 16:41:07 |
| 755 | 5379 | Once I did it squatting on the floor of a men's room at a college near my town. The college was not in session at the time, but still somebody -& a male visitor, janitor, or other staff could have walked in on me. I was just urgently aroused and needed a quickie. Plus the thrill of doing it in a forbidden place appealed to me. Also as a teenager, I would sometimes go behind my home into a sparsely wooded area (private but not extremely so) and get myself off at times of urgency - literally, just for a change of scenery. I feel no shame or guilt over the specific behaviors I've described, for they certainly caused no harm. But I see in myself the capacity to go much further, if circumstances permitted. If I were ever fortunate enough to find a compatible male partner, I would be strongly tempted to get naked and fuck outdoors - in picnic areas,& near hiking trails, against walls of buildings, etc. At some level, I wouldn't even care much if other people saw, although of course I WOULD NOT want adverse consequences such as being arrested by the police, or raped/murdered by violent weirdos. | 2008-01-31 14:38:39 |
| 755 | 5413 | Do any of the other ladies here get wet and sticky panties when masturbating, even more than a guy and does that influence your& willingness for masturbation? Melissa | 2008-02-02 20:54:27 |
| 755 | 5414 | Hi Rose, when you masturbate nowadays, do you think about that plan masturbation incident? Does it get you aroused and help you get off? Also, didn't you spasm and get wet when you came? Melissa | 2008-02-02 20:56:04 |
| 755 | 5415 | [user=130]melissa malena[/user] wrote: "Do any of the other ladies here get wet and sticky panties when masturbating, even more than a guy and does that influence your& willingness for masturbation? Melissa Malena" I used to date a lady who had phone sex with me... Sometimes she would call me from her office and talk would sometimes drift to sex. After talking for a few minutes, she would have to get off of the phone and go to the restroom. She told me later she would sit in a stall, put her feet against the stall door and masturbate (she wasn't very tall). She told me she would have to do that because she was really wet and had to deal with the wetness anyway. She claimed she was never caught by another woman coming in to use the other stall. | 2008-02-02 21:37:50 |
| 755 | 5422 | Melissa, I did get very wet, but not to the point that anyone else would have known about it. I was so focused on not being noticed that I really didn't spasm at all. And as far as thinking about the incident today... I don't think back to it on a regular basis, but every time I fly I am reminded of it. It definitely gets me turned on. Last week I traveled out of the country and spent a good part of the five hour flight wishing I could reenact it. The guy sitting next to me this time was my professor (it was a trip for school), and although I have fantasized about him regularly (perhaps I have a thing for older men...?), there was no way I was going to risk being caught doing something like that by someone who I will have to see every day for the next several years. It's a lot less scary to risk being caught by a total stranger I'll never see again than someone who I hope to get recommendations for graduate school from ;). Thus I had to settle for letting my imagination wander to all kinds of inappropriate places without any immediate gratification. @};- Rose | 2008-02-04 16:26:15 |
| 755 | 5423 | I have witnessed a couple girls/women masturbate in public. I took a college class and the first night I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and noticed the woman to the right and behind me was rhythmically moving her leg back and forth. It got my attention but this could have been innocent. She sat in front of me after that. On one night her movements were more than a little subtle, her hips and everything were gyrating. Since a sex flush broke out on the back of her neck I am guessing she experienced orgasm that night. :shock: In another college class several years prior a woman who sat near me would rock her leg back and forth with increasing frequency, pause, then start again. More recently a group of us were at a bar and one of my female friends was drunk and horny. First she started playing with her nipple under her blouse and then showed her very large nipple to some of at the table. She said she couldn't find the toys I had given her prior, and thought perhaps the ex-boyfriend had thrown them out. Since I lived like 5 minutes away, I ran home and picked up replacements (new) and put them in a box. When I returned to the bar I gave her the box and figured she would take it home, nope, she opened it up and proceeded to rub a Hitachi Magic Wand against her vulva through her cloths. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] Oh, and naughty me, I put batteries in a silver bullet vibe for her to feel what it felt like, and she proceed to press that against her vulva. :shock::shock: Her and her friends went man hunting after that, but he didn't get lucky, I had to take her to pick up her car in the morning. :dude: Another night she was comparing vibrators in cell phones, by having people call her. :P I was sitting in a hot tub with some other adults I didn't know in a public gym when two girls about 10 or 11 got in. They both proceeded to use the jets. :D The one stopped right away and based on the look on her face she knew what was up, but had probably been told what to try by the other girl beforehand. I think they had a whispered conversation when they first got in. The other girl proceed to do this for a while while the other adults talk, and I simply sat there, not looking too much, as I don't believe she deserved to get stared at. It was amusing rather than erotic or sexual. I was wondering if the other adults knew what was up, especially the women. No one said anything to them, so I am guessing their parents were in there. One time I was driving down the road, looked in the yard of the house I was going by, and a girl of about 8 to 10 was rocking back and forth on a pipe that was coming up out of the ground at an angle while sucking on a Popsicle. No lie. I only saw it for a brief second, and I still not sure I actually saw what I thought I saw. :? I have always wondering if she caused any accidents that day. Based on the surveys on the website there are a lot of naughty women out there. :D | 2008-02-04 20:09:02 |
| 755 | 5436 | I used to masterbate at the gym in my late teens with the water jets in the hot tub. When someone came by, I just casually moved my position...Those were the days! | 2008-02-09 12:45:20 |
| 755 | 5455 | did they ever catch you coming? | 2008-02-10 17:45:59 |
| 755 | 5457 | At least on one occasion I did see a woman in the hot tub at the gym in a position where I wasn't sure if the jets were aimed at her inner thigh or vulva. :? I don't believe she changed positions, so she was doing something innocent, or simply didn't care. Brad | 2008-02-10 20:37:08 |
| 755 | 5458 | I had no idea, after reading so much, lol. Guys let on more than they know, I guess. haha, here you think they can't tell, lol | 2008-02-10 21:11:08 |
| 755 | 5504 | Ive done it completely naked in the middle of my street at 2 am just for kicks once. | 2008-02-21 20:43:09 |
| 755 | 5506 | You woman have really opened my eyes, I think i have a high sex drive compared to my wife but realise now theres woman out there just as rampant as me. All that leaves is for me to say maybe i married the wrong lady. As anyone ever met people from the forum? | 2008-02-22 07:52:21 |
| 755 | 5507 | Forgot to say for the record i relived myself early one morning years ago whilst waiting on an empty train station. This is not like me at all but i just had a sudden burst of passion or maybe it was the dare of doing something you shouldn't. | 2008-02-22 07:55:23 |
| 755 | 5591 | Mmm, seems like this is more common than I thought, but I used to (and still do!) masturbate with the jets in public hot tubs and pools... I just cant seem to control it! :P | 2008-03-15 22:04:29 |
| 755 | 5615 | I must agree with many here that using pool jets is one of the best ways to masturbate outside the home. I started doing this when I was only 11, and I have seen many girls and women at local spas doing the same. I must admit I like to watch this sometimes. | 2008-03-18 21:49:03 |
| 755 | 5647 | gunner, re having your eyes opened: women can leave us men for dead in sexual appetite. Most do need to feel safe and many at least appreciated but, given these,& nature has designed them for much more sex than for us, despite what the mags tell us.& | 2008-03-27 02:58:25 |
| 755 | 5689 | I am played in various places over the years. Much as was described, I have masturbated in class by tightening my thighs to stimulate my clitty. I have masturbated some while driving of course. I have caressed myself under my desk. Which is one thing I wished to share here. I had a chat friend who was curious. She was virgin except alone & had many, many experiences alone. She had met a guy & was very drawn to him. They had progressed to some heavy petting. One evening as we chatted, he came on also. As I watched her on her cam, she & I chatted about how she thought he would be the one. he was also watching her but did not know she & I were chatting also. I teased her more & more about giving it up to him... about taking his c*ck into her finally. She became very aroused. So I teased further. I knew she had a technique she particularly enjoyed which involved a couple of things. I encrouaged her until she excused herself. When she returned, she had the items she wished for - concealed from the cam under her desk top. As she & I chatted, she began to play hidden under the table & from the guy. When she orgasmed, I knew it. I could see in her face though she hid it pretty well. NOW THAT was different:) | 2008-04-12 15:13:25 |
| 755 | 5690 | In response to Pulga OOOOOOOOOoooohhhhhhhhhh YES!!! YES< yes, yes, yeeeessssssssssss | 2008-04-12 15:14:26 |
| 755 | 6206 | At first I thought I haven't really masturbated in any strange places but then I thought well maybe not strange to me!& So you all be the judge... The most recent unusual place I did it was in my garage.& I don't know, I was so horny that my pussy was just begging, but everyone was home and when I wnt in the garage suddenly noticed one of our cars has a nice square shape to it and my fave way to masturbate is placing my pussy on a corner. then I cross my feet at the ankles, lift my feet off the floor .. it gives my body weight to my efforts.... squeeze thighs rhythmically, sometimes hump, anyway I came on the car in the garage that day!!& I thought I must be going nuts! Before that I had done it lots of places other than home, including: friend's pool... was young and maybe they noticed but I was oblivious! hotel spa... was older, waited till no one looking, placed clit in front of blasting jet and got off instantly feeling so naughty... who knows people could have seen me from their room windows! library bathroom.... on the corner of the sink other public restrooms on the sink& when I got too horny , or at work.& Have had to jump down when people came in, and try not to breathe too hard but it is strenuous doing it that way... the stock room in the back of grocery store I worked at... there was no door to the room and someone could have walked in friend's houses in their bathroom!& in classrooms.... my kitchen , while cooking!& Look Ma, no hands... in my car, husband driving, long trips, my hands under jacket or something..& he never knew behind the couch with my mom's vibrator laundry room but I was a dirty girl& ;D So those are some places I can think of now. Couple weeks ago I saw a lady squeezing herself in church!!!& I could tell by the movements of her foot, kind of jerky, then glanced at her lap to see if I could tell by her thighs and I saw some squeezing going on in her crotch... OMG in church??& She was like late 30's, not like she shouldn't know what she's doing.& It was so sexy! Another time in church a girl couple rows in front of me did NOT know what she was doing but many of us did.& I couldn't believe my lucky eyes... she was just standing up during the stand-up parts, looked like she was humping the air, ??& don' t know, she had kind of short skirt on and it was frilly, it moved up and down with her, dear me, that girl was truly working it.... in church!! One time I turned around and saw the back row at my old church, guy sitting, girlfriend's head under his jacket on his lap... oh the pure horniness at times of need! | 2008-11-05 03:55:12 |
| 756 | 5104 | All through my life ive had problems being able to orgasim. Most of the time i have to do it by masterbating only, never with a guy am I able to. But recently its started to get painful in an odd way. It starts after i orgasim once, the second time its like... my butt hurts (clinced or relaxed),& my tailbone, and if i try to sit up its really painful. I use a dildo and I noticed that if i slid it in all the way i got a sharp pain deep inside (but its fine if i hadnt orgasimed yet). I stopped of course. I don't know what i should do. I can't afford to go see an actual gyno. I go to the health depetment, will they help me with this? I don't even know if its something i should worry about. - Worry Body | 2007-11-22 05:03:24 |
| 756 | 5105 | Hi worry...It is my opinion that it is abnormal, we shouldn't feel that kind of pain specially during the orgasm; if you can't see a gyno at least see a doctor, he will be the enxt best bet and maybe a woman doctor will be more sympatetic with you.. Please don't let it go...Love luisa | 2007-11-22 09:27:11 |
| 757 | 5108 | I am on Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo and have been for about 10-11 months. For awhile now I have been having really bad emotional/hormonal problems where I cry everyday. My mom (and boyfriend) and I think it's from the pill. I know everybody's body chemistry is different but I was wondering if anyone had similar experiences and switched pills. What is there besides the pill that I could use that's very effective that won't screw with my hormones? (I am going to be doing more research of my own, just want your experiences) I was considering Yaz, but I've heard about a lot of bad side effects (I heard the same about Lo, especially about sex drive, etc and I experienced no problems there, trust me!) ETA: It's not just a matter of crying everday but I'll spare you the details. I am also going to my doctor this week, I just want some experiences or ideas to consider until then. | 2007-11-24 17:04:23 |
| 757 | 5116 | Hi, I would recommend that you stop using prescription birth control for a period of time to see if the symptoms improve, otherwise you wont know if your new and old forms of birth control are the cause of these symptoms. Some preliminary studies have indicated that women's hormone levels don't return to their pre-birth control levels after they stop using them, namely those affecting desire. All prescription forms of birth control have a long list of possible side affects associated with them, but those side affects aren't as many or as significant as those associated with becoming pregnant and giving birth. I know a couple women who refuse to use them or who have stopped using them because of adverse side affects. Ever consider why a male form of prescription birth control has never been approved??? Brad | 2007-11-25 18:53:02 |
| 757 | 5117 | I am going to try Yaz if my doctor agrees. If it doesn't work for me, I will probably stop taking oral BC all together and just carefully use condoms/spermicides/etc. I've stopped taking the pill I am on currently and I won't be starting another for at least a month, is that long enough to be sure that it was the pill causing my problems? I was treated for PMDD in junior high and high school already, so that's why we're thinking Yaz is the best bet, if it's all it's hyped up to be. | 2007-11-25 19:10:31 |
| 757 | 5118 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, I would recommend that you stop using prescription birth control for a period of time to see if the symptoms improve, otherwise you wont know if your new and old forms of birth control are the cause of these symptoms. Some preliminary studies have indicated that women's hormone levels don't return to their pre-birth control levels after they stop using them, namely those affecting desire. All prescription forms of birth control have a long list of possible side affects associated with them, but those side affects aren't as many or as significant as those associated with becoming pregnant and giving birth. I know a couple women who refuse to use them or who have stopped using them because of adverse side affects. Ever consider why a male form of prescription birth control has never been approved??? Brad " i'm pretty sure the studies indicate that women's hormone levels don't return to normal immediately after discontinuing use.& the rule of thumb is that it takes a month to get in your system and a month to get out. and there was just a news blurb about a promising new birth control prescription for men in which none of the test subjects impregnated a woman.& it was an early test, so not a huge number of subjects, but it looks to be a shot rather than a pill.& downside is that it takes almost 3 months to become active and 3 months to leave the system. the real reason male birth control has never been approved, according to those developing male birth control, is that female birth control has to stop production of one egg every 4 weeks, while male birth control has to stop millions of sperm on a daily basis.& it's a chemically difficult thing to achieve. | 2007-11-25 20:49:07 |
| 757 | 5119 | Well, I took Yaz. Mine was for hormonal issues, rather than, for sexual intercourse. First Yaz pills I took, I was 15, I hit puberty at the age of 11, so I've been in the "game" for a while. I took Yaz with a more "heavier dosage" of hormones. I deal with ovarian cysts, cysts that cause me a great deal of pain, doctor recommended Yaz. Side effects& I had with Yaz...Crying as well, I recall, forgot to take the pill a couple hours late..I broke down. I had pain in my chest every time I took the pill, my chest tightened. I lost a great deal of my hair, I have long hair, it goes past my hips. I also had very thick hair, type of hair you couldn't hold with one hand, now you can. I'd have painful, absolutely painful periods when the pill "case" stopped. Type of painful, you had to hold the wall and your stomach and try not to cry out in pain. I also got dizzy a lot, migraines I got a lot when I was on them too. I get migraines, but, I got them just about as much as when I first got them and I went to the mall. Malls, perfume and cologne smells. I took Yaz twice, once at the age of 15. Next one, I ended at the age of 17, if I recall. Either way, I had great issues with Yaz. Every person is different, sure, but I wouldn't recommend Yaz. Yaz didn't help much, if you have cyst issues, they still grew. Reason I stopped Yaz, was because of the issues that arose. It wasn't just crying, but anger. Emotionally, I was out of wack, and reason I'm now doing acupuncture. Forgot to add, I thought of after I sent this, I might add..if I haven't put an empathis on it. Hormonal issues, so, might add why Yaz never worked for me. My hormones are flipped, I have too little testosterone in my system, I grow cysts constantly and they grow to the size of a baseball. I've had it since I was 15, I'm 18 now. Well, the pill helps regulate your hormones. Figured I'd just state it, lol. If I'm not mistaken though, haven't there been studies found that women who have taken birth control pills and are now in their 40s, have breast cancer? I'd actually say going off the pill was the worst time ever, that's when my emotions were truly out of wack. My hands would shake too, I had a great deal of migraines afterwards too, and talk about lower abdomine pain. Which, could again be, because my hormones aren't normal. I'd recommend acupuncture, lol, if you have hormonal issues. It's not exactly something that you're excited about, I have no fear of needles, but you do tighten up before it's stuck in. It's very helpful, lol, and would recommend it. I'm doing acupuncture and taking pills again, called "Feminene". They are pills for menopausal women, lol, but i have the same symptoms. Hope you find a good pill, and good luck searching, best of luck to you. | 2007-11-25 20:55:04 |
| 757 | 5121 | Impact of Oral Contraceptives on Sex Hormone-Binding Globulin and Androgen Levels: A Retrospective Study in Women with Sexual Dysfunction ABSTRACT Introduction.& Oral contraceptives (OCs) have been the preferred method of birth control because of their high rate of effectiveness. OC use, however, has been associated with women's sexual health complaints and androgen insufficiency. OC use is associated with a decrease of androgen ovarian synthesis and an increase in the production of sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG). There have been limited studies assessing SHBG values after discontinuation of OC use. Aim.& To retrospectively investigate SHBG levels before and after discontinuation of OC use. Main Outcome Measure.& Sex hormone-binding globulin values were compared at baseline, while on the OC, and well beyond the 7-day half-life of SHBG at 49–120 (mean 80)& days and >120 (mean 196)& days after discontinuation of OCs. Methods.& A total of 124 premenopausal women with sexual health complaints for >6& months met inclusion/exclusion criteria. Three groups of women were defined: (i) "Continued-Users" (N& =& 62; mean age 32& years) had been on OCs for >6& months and continued taking them; (ii) "Discontinued-Users" (N& =& 39; mean age 33& years) had been on OCs for >6& months and discontinued them; and (iii) "Never-Users" (N& =& 23; mean age 36& years) had never taken OCs. Results.& Sex hormone-binding globulin values in the "Continued-Users" were four times higher than those in the "Never-User" group (mean 157& ±& 13& nmol/L vs. 41& ±& 4& nmol/L; Plt;& 0.0001). Despite a decrease in SHBG values after discontinuation of OC use, SHBG levels in "Discontinued-Users" remained elevated in comparison with "Never-Users" (N& =& 26; Plt;& 0.0001 for >120& days). Conclusion.& In women with sexual dysfunction, SHBG changes in "Discontinued-Users" did not decrease to values consistent with "Never-Users." Long-term sexual, metabolic, and mental health consequences might result as a consequence of chronic SHBG elevation. Does prolonged exposure to the synthetic estrogens of OCs induce gene imprinting and increased gene expression of SHBG in the liver in some women? Prospective research is needed. | 2007-11-25 21:57:19 |
| 757 | 5122 | LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Do Oral Contraceptives Produce Irreversible Effects on Women's Sexuality? On January 3, 2006, an article by Panzer and colleagues was published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine titled "Impact of oral contraceptives on sex hormone-binding globulin and androgen levels: a retrospective study in women with sexual dysfunction." Prior to this, the authors issued a press release embargoed until publication, resulting in a widespread media reaction, with headlines like "Pill may kill women's libido." It is well known that oral contraceptives (OCs) produce substantial increases in sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG), and associated reduction in free testosterone. This article concludes that such changes could be irreversible, leading to long-term sexual, metabolic, and mental health consequences. The authors reported that 26 women had "elevated" blood SHBG levels 6–12& months after discontinuing OCs, on the grounds that their levels were significantly higher than those of 20 women who had never used the pill (64& ±& 4& nmol/L vs. 35& ±& 4& nmol/L). Both mean levels from these small samples are well within normal reference ranges for women, and there is no way of knowing whether the SHBG levels were higher after discontinuation than they were before starting OCs. There are other limitations to this study: problems with the SHBG assays and use of testosterone treatment by most of the women, which is likely to confound the SHBG levels. Previous studies have found that SHBG levels, elevated while taking OCs, return to pre-OC levels within the first month after discontinuation of OC use of 3& months or longer A minority of women experience negative sexual side effects on OCs . We are currently analyzing data to assess whether such side effects are related to the degree of reduction in free testosterone, and will be reporting on this soon. We can, however, report now that of the 61 women in our study, 26 had taken OCs in the past (at least 6 months previously) and these women had similar levels of SHBG at the start of the study compared with 34 women who had never used OCs (previous users N& =& 26, SHBG 58.9& ±& SD 36.1& nmol/L; never users N& =& 34, SHBG 53.5& ±& SD 28.7& nmol/L; P& =& 0.52). Prior to this recent article, there have been no indications that OC-induced sexual or mood side effects are irreversible. Claims that OCs have irreversible effects on a woman's sexuality may discourage many women from using OCs, and should only be made when based on the soundest of evidence. | 2007-11-25 21:59:45 |
| 757 | 5123 | Do Oral Contraceptives Produce Irreversible Effects on Women's Sexuality?: A reply We thank you for your comments. (i) Concerning The Journal of Sexual Medicine ( JSM ) press release, it is editorial policy of the JSM to select relevant manuscripts for press release to help fulfill the mandate to provide credible, evidence-based education in the field of sexual medicine to the public . The decision to select the article by Panzer et& al. for press release was based on the editorial team's belief that this research had important public educational value . All the JSM press releases are checked for accuracy by the authors, Blackwell Publishing, and members of the editorial team. Neither the journal nor the authors can bear responsibility for public interpretation of scientific information. (ii) Concerning your statement that the sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG) values of the discontinued-users "are well within normal reference ranges for women," this is a critical and controversial aspect of the manuscript. To the best of our knowledge, this manuscript is the first to strictly define a group of oral contraceptive pill never-users (never taken a single birth control pill) as the control population. If future studies substantiate that SHBG values in oral contraceptive pill discontinued-users do not return to those in never-users, as concluded in this manuscript, the make-up of control populations for future investigations in the field will change. Previous research studies that included in control populations women who had discontinued use of the oral contraceptive pill would therefore NOT be appropriate to define normal ranges of SHBG values in women. To clarify this statement, we are using the example of the "normal TSH value." Even though laboratories use a "normal" range from 0.4 to 5.5& mU/L, we now know that the upper limit of normal of the euthyroid reference range is much closer to 2.5& mU/L because 95% of rigorously screened euthyroid volunteers (after exclusion of volunteers with previous thyroid disorders, positive antibodies) have serum values between 0.4 and 2.5& mU/L. (iii) Concerning your statement that only a minority of women experience negative sexual side effects with oral contraceptive pill use, we respectfully wish to document the burgeoning literature revealing the sexual consequences associated with oral contraceptive pill use. For example, Bazin et& al. reported on 57 women aged 18–35 years with dyspareunia for 6 months secondary to vulvar vestibulitis syndrome and compared them with 173 patients of similar age without dyspareunia . The relative risk of having dyspareunia in women who had used oral contraceptives early (before age 17) reached 11.0 (95% CI 1.3–97.1) relative to those who had never used oral contraceptive pills. Berglund et& al. examined 172 Swedish women aged 12–26 years and found that 33% reported dyspareunia. Using oral contraception for more than 2& years was an independent variable increasing the risk of genital pain. Bouchard et& al. reported on 138 women with vulvar vestibulitis in the previous 2 years and compared them with 309 age-matched controls consulting for reasons other than gynecologic problems or contraception. The relative risk of vulvar vestibulitis syndrome was 6.6 (95% CI 2.5, 17.4) for oral contraceptive pill use "Ever-Users" compared with oral contraceptive pill use "Never-Users." When an oral contraceptive pill was first used before age 16& years, the relative risk of vulvar vestibulitis reached 9.3 (95% CI 3.2, 27.2) and increased with oral contraceptive pill use up to 2–4& years. In our study in the JSM, Panzer et& al. studied 101 women with a history of oral contraceptive pill use and compared them with 23 women who had never taken an oral contraceptive pill (mean age 34& years) . Concerning the individual domain score for sexual pain on the Female Sexual Function Index, there was significantly more sexual pain in the women who were taking oral contraceptives compared with those who had never taken oral contraceptives. As you well know, Graham et& al. performed one of the only randomized clinical trials designed to examine the effects of oral contraceptive use on libido as a primary outcome. Sterilized women or women with sterilized partners were randomized to receive either a combined oral contraceptive, a progesterone-only pill, or a placebo for 4& months . Standardized, structured interviews and questionnaires were used to assess sexual function. Among the Scottish women, but not the Philippine women, ratings of sexual interest and sexual activity declined in the oral contraceptive group but not in the progesterone-only pill or placebo groups. Similarly, Sanders et& al. studied women in committed, sexually active relationships before oral contraceptive pill use and at 3, 6, and 12 months . Of the women who completed the study, only 38% continued oral contraceptive pill use while 47% discontinued, and 14% switched to another oral contraceptive pill. Sexual side effects, such as decreased frequency of sexual thoughts, were among the best predictors of discontinuation/switching of the oral contraceptive pill. The manuscript concluded that sexual side effects of oral contraceptives have been largely ignored in the research literature. Similar to these two studies, we found in our investigation that there was a significant difference in the desire domains of the Female Sexual Function Index in women who ever used the oral contraceptive compared with those women who were never-users . In summary, it was not the intent of our research to discourage women from using oral contraceptive pills. Rather, we strongly believe that similar to tobacco use, it is the responsible and appropriate role of healthcare professionals to provide evidence-based risk and benefit information to women, especially young women, who wish to select among the various methods of contraception. Based on the above, it seems inconceivable to avoid a conversation regarding evidence-based risks to a woman's sexual health if selecting oral contraceptive pills over nonhormonal barrier techniques (e.g., an intrauterine device). The ultimate decision whether or not to use the oral contraceptive pill, however, is a woman's personal choice. For the record, it seems odd that the 2006 Physician's Desk Reference does not list sexual dysfunction as a potential side effect of oral contraceptive pill use despite reports in the literature over the past 10& years. Interestingly enough, "alteration in libido" or "loss of libido" is mentioned as a side effect in the package inserts of all oral contraceptives available in Germany, although identical to the American preparations and produced by the same manufacturers. | 2007-11-25 22:02:20 |
| 757 | 5124 | Exactly six months ago I stopped Yasmin after being for 3 years on it.& It was pretty much for the same reasons you mention.& Not only my libido became non-existant but I became a raging monster.& I had orgasms but they were mechanical :( I would have massive temper swings and I almost broke up with my bf.& I just stopped it and things resolved in a couple of months particularly the temper problems.& My libido came back after the first cycle.& I don't think I will ever go back on the pill. As contraception, I am following the fertility awareness method, which btw is NOT the rythym method. I take my temperature every morning and check my cervical fluid a few times a day.& From these I can tell when I am fertile, when I ovulate and when I'm no longer fertile. It was a bit tricky at first to learn but what I've learned so far is amazing.& And it doesn't require that much effort.& It is so cool to see how my cycle evolves through out the month.& I feel like I am "functioning" again if that makes any sense.& During the fertile times we use condoms, and after I am sure the egg is dead and gone, we have unprotected sex. The book I learned the method from is The Garden of Fertility by Katie Singer.& There are others& about this topic but I highly recommend it.& It covered most of my questions. | 2007-11-26 08:10:37 |
| 757 | 5126 | Your cervical fluids can provide an indication of your fertility, but it also means you can't engage in intercourse anytime you want, at least without using another form of birth control. www.fertilityfriend.com/HelpCenter/FFBook/ff_fertility_signs.html Brad | 2007-11-26 08:19:46 |
| 757 | 5127 | I certainly haven't had a problem with decreased sex drive after starting the pill, as I think I wear my boyfriend out! At any rate, I am seriously considering not taking anymore oral contraceptives. | 2007-11-26 09:02:47 |
| 757 | 5133 | I'd stop taking them too if I didn't have such problems with my periods otherwise. it was hell every month and I hated it and I just don't want to go back to that. My sex drive han't been affected by the pill. There are lots of different ones and just because one doesn't work for you, doesn't mean there isn't another one suited to you but each to their own where birth control is concerned. Me taking it is more to do with being able to carry on living as normal during my period rather than feeling like I am dying and not being able to do anything or go anywhere because I have to be close to a bathroom so that I can change every bloody hour due to the heaviness. | 2007-11-26 11:49:07 |
| 757 | 5134 | I didn't notice the decrease in sex-drive until a year and a half after starting and it was definitely gradual.& But in any case I personally feel better not puting any more hormones in my body.& True it is annoying with the condoms but that's only half of the time so it's not so bad. Best of luck! | 2007-11-26 13:04:37 |
| 757 | 5135 | I've been on the pill for 6 years now and it hasn't affected my sex drive. I think we're all different. Maybe other pills could affect my sex drive or maybe the pill I am on could affect another womans. & | 2007-11-26 13:13:06 |
| 757 | 5161 | I was on the pill when I was younger and I got sick from it.& My periods faded away into almost nothing.& My periods were irregular.& I felt like I was going to vomit all the time, had fevers and was suicidal.& The only thing that was fine was my sex drive.& I tried different kinds of pills and they didn't work out either.& I went off the pill and my periods didn't return to normal after a month.& When they came back they were very irregular and only became regular about a year ago (it was about 6 years ago that I stopped taking the pill).& There are times when I regret taking it but there is no way I would have known what was going to happen.& I also have problems with condoms so I go with the method of figuring out when I'm fertile or not, so far it has worked but it means I can't have sex whenever I want. | 2007-12-03 17:08:26 |
| 757 | 5162 | It is certainly a challenge for women to manage their fertility and reproductive health, and while the Pill was suppose to answer all their prayers, at least make it simpler, I am not sure that is has to& the degree the media says. Either it doesn't work as effectively as they say, 92% versus 99% effective, or has adverse side affects the manufactures are reluctant to admit to, or didn't even consider. An interesting question is, would women simply say no to penile/vaginal intercourse if they could, rather than use prescription birth control? Does the pleasure and benfits of intercourse, physical and psychological, justify the anxiety that comes along with having intercourse and relying on a contraceptive? Do women experience an innate desire to have intercourse, or do they feel pressured to by their partner and society? I realize the answers likely depend on the individual woman. | 2007-12-03 17:35:57 |
| 757 | 5163 | the reliability of oral contraceptives has been confirmed independently and is supported in academic texts.& the issue is not that they are not reliable, but the human error factor that decreases the effectiveness of all forms of contraception.& Condoms in particular suffer from user error, having roughly a 10% decrease in effectiveness as a result. I believe the drive for intercourse has little to do with physical pleasure.& Yes, there may be social elements that inflate the importance of intercourse, and people may rationalize the desire for intercourse by claiming it feels better, but you can't discount the fact that there is a strong biological and instinctual urge to engage in intercourse. | 2007-12-03 19:22:29 |
| 758 | 5128 | hello i'm 13 and have been masturbating for about half a year i use the back of an electric toothbrush on my clitoris to masturbate but i have heard that it can be bad for girls of such a young age to do this as it can damage the clitoris! please can you tell me if this is true or not. :s thankyou | 2007-11-26 09:27:41 |
| 758 | 5129 | I think you heard a case of codswallop then, lol. In the UK, that basically means a load of rubbish. Girls of all ages from even before birth can masturbate and, unless you use any techniques that would cause damage to any part of your body, like a razorblade, LOL, then I don't think it is going to cause any damage to your clit. I think this old wives tale came from those who are trying to discourage young girls from masturbating. Take no notice of it and carry on enjoying. It's your body and you need to get to know it and thats what mother nature programmed us to masturbate for. | 2007-11-26 09:53:35 |
| 758 | 5130 | Hi Zaralou...good question and I agree with Canis, but there is some true because the more you rub your clit with a foreign object the more it will lose sensitivity, it is skin and the rubbing creates a harder shell but it is nothing to be larmed just do what feels good to you and enjoy it love luisa | 2007-11-26 10:53:19 |
| 758 | 5131 | It's an exagerrated half truth.& If you use a strong vibrating object on your clitoris excessively (as in several times a day) you can cause desensitization of the clitoris, but it isn't permanent.& It also applies to women of all ages, not just young girls.& If you find that you are losing sensitivity, masturbate less frequently or with something that doesn't vibrate as strongly to regain the sensitivity. | 2007-11-26 11:03:56 |
| 758 | 5132 | In the past I held the believe that girls under 16 probably should not use a vibrator, or a vibrating device, while masturbating, except for specific circumstances; i.e. menstrual cramps, sexual frustration, or years of prior experience. My concern being, the stimulation is potentially far greater from a vibrator than from one's own fingers, and greater than the stimulation provided during partnered sex. A girl may have too high of expectations if she presumes partnered sex should provide greater stimulation and pleasure than a vibrator, and other forms of masturbation like those that incorporate water spray. I am surprised though by the number of women who report in a survey on the website that they first used a vibrator at a relatively young age, less than 16. If these are valid numbers, then 25-48% of teens/women, who have used a vibrator, did so for the first time while under the age of 16. Even if the actual number were half this amount, this is more than I would have guessed. [url=www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=4047207426] www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=4047207426 Given that 89% of these women feel using a vibrator has been beneficial to them, then is seems unlikely that using them at a young age has major negative consequences. It probably isn't wise to always use one, even though it may provide intense and rapid orgasms, as you may raise your level of expectation, and decrease the level of enjoyment of simple sexual pleasure, i.e. enjoyment of sexual arousal and stimulation. You would want to mix things up, and if possible not focus on orgasm alone. The main thing that must occur, is for young men to know their penis may not provide the ideal form of sexual stimulation for their partner, regardless of whether she has used a vibrator in the past, as that seem irrelevant. Brad | 2007-11-26 11:33:08 |
| 758 | 5143 | Hey thankyou for the comments and feedback it's very helpful! | 2007-11-30 13:03:19 |
| 760 | 5141 | Hi everyone, I've been lurking here for a few days now and have been reading the main site for a few weeks and have learnt alot in that time (considering I'm 43yo lol)...Thanks to everyone involved with the site..it's a credit to you all. I thought I would share with you's that it isn't too late to make that turn around...I had excepted over the last 10 years my husband was a low labido type of person...to the point where he hadn't had a girlfriend or sexual relations for 13 years before we had gotten together and had previously only had one live-in girlfriend who had stayed with him long enough till she could clear out with his furniture etc. Anyway back to the present...My DH has done an about face and his sex drive has gone to the other end of the scale..we have been "at it" like rabbits for the last 6 weeks...every night and most mornings. During this time it has been the first time I have climaxed...one fairly strong one from tickling my clit...which is very hard to do as it can be a bit tricky to locate being only very small. The other times have been various strengths of G-Spot climaxing with some various degrees of ejaculation thrown in eg...last night it felt like my waters had broke lol...This was the third time in about 10 minutes, though the 2 times before less fluid come out. At this stage I can only climax to great intensity when DH is using the new Vibe and hitting the G-Spot. We are trying to find ways for getting the great climax with fingers(short) or penis(small)..... To be honest, I'm just dumbfounded (and very pleased) & that a man (41yo)& can change so much and I hope it gives hope to others that are in a similar position. There is more to this story so any questions feel free to ask... | 2007-11-28 20:15:41 |
| 761 | 5155 | I've never done this before ... posting on a message board but here goes. My five year old daughter enjoys masturbating whenever she's around lots of water. Ever since she was just a couple of years old she would masturbate whenever she was having a bath. She lies on her back and does many different things with her vulva and clitoris.& I don't exactly remember, after all by this age she is capable of bathing by herself and doesn't need me around the whole time. When she first started doing this, I tried to get her to stop and I'd take her out of the bathroom quickly if she wouldn't. But my mom said that I shouldn't make her stop, after all the bathtub isn't an inappropriate place to masturbate and that it would be best to just ignore her and let her carry on. To make a long story short, she went swimming with her best friend and her best friend's parents a couple Saturday's ago. We had her friend over before that and took them bowling, but now she was going to be at her house and they went swimming. But at the swimming pool, apparently I guess she started doing what she normally does at home when she takes a bath. Well, her friend's parents said that she was sitting on her hands and bouncing on them while rubbing her private parts. They said that my daughter was teaching their's how to do it as they caught their own daughter trying to masturbate in the same fashion that they saw mine doing it earlier that day. Now they've restricted both of them from seeing or playing with each other. They feel convinced that there's more going on than simple childhood exploration. I don't think my daughter was deliberately teaching her friend anything. Her friend just picked up on what she was doing on her own. Maybe now is a good time for me to teach my daughter a little bit about keeping her private activities private, but how could I explain to her friend's parents that nothing wrong happened? And how do I explain to my daughter why she can't be friend's with her anymore? She keeps asking why they can't get together. I keep saying that her family is busy, but that's not going to last too much longer. | 2007-12-02 23:09:47 |
| 761 | 5156 | Gah, it is so sad that so many parents don't even understand their children very well. I suppose you can start to let your daughter know that doing those things should be left for when she is alone in private and not round other people. My therapist fosters children and if she sees them engaging in this type of behaviour when they are old enough, she'll just tell them that they should save it for when they are alone and to go to their room to do it but she doesn't give any message across that it is wrong because she knows how damaging that can be. When& boys grow up to have erectile dysfunctions caused by feelings of shame and guilt about sex& and girls grow up to have vaginismus or either sex grow up to have aversions that cause problems with sex life, it usually points back to parents who gave the wrong messages to their children and being a vaginismus sufferer myself, I can't stress enough how much I'd hate to see any kids growing up with problems like mine because of ignorant parents who think that children shouldn't get to know their own bodies. I know what I'd like to tell those other parents. With the wrong attitudes, their own daughters may just end up with problems like mine. Still, who knows what would talk them round? Children who do this don't know about sex, they just know that when they rub a certain area, it feels nice and thats it. Maybe point them to Brads main site about child sexual development and get them to read it so that they can learn how to develop a mature attitude to dealing with these natural developments in their kids. | 2007-12-03 09:50:08 |
| 761 | 5158 | As I mention in the Q&A linked to below, it is challenging for parent's to raise their children to feel good about their body and sexuality given our commonly accepted social believes. Many believe there is no such thing as childhood sexuality, that it can't possibly exist, and therefore can't be discussed. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/child_sex.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/child_sex.htm In the Q&A linked to below I state the following: "According to a [url=../f_html/poll_orientation.htm] survey on the website, 52% of women who identify today as "heterosexual" explored the genitals of other girls when they were 9 years old and younger. 35% of these women engaged in sexual activities with other girls at the same age. This demonstrates that you are hardly alone in your experience and that these "same sex" activities are common among "heterosexual" women, and women in general. Your actions and experiences were not the result of sexual motives, desires, or orientation. You were simply girls being normal girls. When all women are taken into consideration, regardless of their current sexual orientation, then 51% have explored the genitals of other girls, and 36% have engaged in sexual activities with other girls, when they were 9 years of age and younger. By comparison, 37% and 27% of women explored the genitals of boys and engaged in sexual experiences with boys respectively. " [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_26.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_26.htm I am not going to pretend to have a quick and easy answer to your question. I don't have children and don't know for sure how I would address this situation. I tend to believe the other parents are entitled to their believes and me of my own. They would either accept my daughter or they wouldn't. The situation you face isn't much different from one involving different religious believes. How do you explain to your young child that they can't play with another child because their parents don't approve of your religious believes? In this situation we are concerned with sexual rather than religious believes. Neither child was harmed by this experience in the pool, but the other parents see it as being harmful. Because of embarrassment they may not be open to discussing this subject, let alone being open to the idea that what both your daughters were doing is normal, and perhaps beneficial, rather than abnormal and harmful. You can try educating them, but they may not be willing to listen or accept your views. You can print out references from the internet for them to read, but that doesn't mean they will change their views. They may not even be opening to talking to you at this point, depending on how offended they may feel. Must you take away your daughter's innocent pleasure so she can be friends with this one girl? What will happen later on when they are seen playing doctor and engaging in "sexual" activities? Will you simply delay the inevitable? Is it beneficial for your daughter to know she was rejected by these parents, or should you simply move on, accepting things as they are? What will she be rejected for next? Before you can discuss this with your daughter you must have a means of communicating your wishes to her, which means she must know what her vulva and masturbation are. Sex is a concept beyond her understanding. If it isn't something she can see and touch it can't exist. To know if your daughter truly understands what you are talking about you must test her knowledge, not just tell her things.& She must be able to demonstrate her knowledge, as in being able to point at her vulva, or be able to say masturbation is when she touches her vulva because it feels good. Perhaps you can ask her if you can bathe her and then teach her the name for her vulva and clitoris, which may require the use of a mirror. You can then say, "Does it feel good to touch your vulva?" If she makes the connection between pleasure and her actions then you can explain that touching her vulva to cause pleasure is called masturbation. At the age of five, I don't know that she will have the means of saying the word. She only needs to recognize the word when you say it. Once she can demonstrate and understanding of what her vulva and masturbation are you can then ask her if she has seen you touching your vulva or masturbating in public. Then explain how nudity and touching of our genitals makes adults unhappy. Then tell her how the other girl's parent are unhappy because she was touching her vulva in public. Tell her it is ok for her to touch her vulva in the bathroom and bedroom, just not in public. She is likely to ask "why" and I don't know how to answer that question, and perhaps it is best if you don't pretend to know why either. Don't forget she is only five. Don't make up answers, or provide answers that are beyond her level of understanding. It is ok to say you don't know the answer, and this is better than lying to her. Brad | 2007-12-03 14:52:02 |
| 761 | 5169 | My daughter's masturbation has really never bothered me yet. At least she's always privately done it so far, until that one recent incident. Teaching her to continue to use privacy won't be that hard either. I don't really know if she needs to learn what masturbation really is, even if that's what she is doing. Five year old's don't need to know what it is. She does know the proper anatomy parts, including the private parts as every healthy child should. What I'm really worried about is what my daughter's friend's parents conclusions about her and her family are. Do they think we abused her? Are they going to accuse us of that? And my other worry is just about my daughter's friendship. I don't know how to explain why they can't see each other. | 2007-12-05 00:23:46 |
| 761 | 5170 | Dear Aimee I don't want to alarm you but please be on your toes in regard CPS in case your neighbors decide to acuse you with Child Protective Services. htose people are just ignorant and stupid. Luisa | 2007-12-05 10:05:05 |
| 761 | 5172 | Hi, They obviously thought your daughter's behavior was inappropriate, but we don't know if they felt it was abnormal. They also don't want their daughter to mimic yours, as far as masturbating openly. We don't know if they consider it abnormal for 5 year old girls to masturbate, or if they were only concerned with the public aspect of it. Based on the questions you see posted on the Internet, many adults still have no idea this is normal activity for children, and some are shocked by the activity. It is interesting that 80-90% of adults have masturbated, but they somehow expect their children not too. I read once that parents expect their children to be more perfect than themselves, and their "perfect" children would not be as sexual as they are and were. A perfect child would be sexless. Is it possible for social services to get involved, but unlikely, I believe, since a couple weeks has gone by. If they do, you don't know how they will react, as they could be just as uneducated as this couple is. People do judge parents by how their children act, and believe an apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Now, do they believe you all sit around masturbating openly, probably not. They perhaps believe you haven't taught your daughter "proper manners" and don't want this rubbing off on their daughter. If this couple holds this believe do you want to be friends with them? Do you want your daughter learning things from their daughter? If you read through the shared experiences on the website you will find that girls do occasionally teach each other how to masturbate, though you can't always believe everything you read on the Internet. So it is possible that your daughter taught the other girl to do what she did, because it was fun and felt good. Several years ago I witnessed something like this in a public Jacuzzi with other adults present. I don't believe the girls parents were present, and nothing was said to them. The other adults may or may not have realized what was going on. At what age should a girl know what masturbation is? As adults, there is a lot of baggage associated with the word and activity. Some of the women who have written to the website appear to indicate they would have benefited from knowing what they were doing, as they knew about masturbation, but not that they had been doing it for years.& In one of Betty Dodson's videos a woman recounts being told by her mother that what she was doing at the time was called masturbation.& It allows them to describe what they are doing, and obviously if it has a name, others must do it too. & I would try to introduce your daughter to new friends, perhaps by taking her to a playground. There might also be some sports for her to get involved with. The sooner she meets new friends the sooner she will forget the other girl, and you wont have to explain why, as you really can't in 5 year old terms and concepts. Brad | 2007-12-05 20:09:33 |
| 761 | 5192 | Dear Aimee: I agree with others who've said how sad that some parents feel they have to be shocked by children's natural explorations. But that doesn't help with the situation. Would it not be possible to ask, almost formally, for a meeting with them to discuss "a private matter"? And then explain (a) what really happened; (b) that you suspect the reason they've stopped the girls meeting is because they may have a notion that you are involved in some form of abuse of your daughter (and even theirs); and that this is not only not the case, but is upsetting and degrading for you; and (c) it's clearly unfair to separate the girls without reason, or for something they can't understand. Perhaps you could help them over the pain of enlightenment by quoting from reasonably authoritative sources (this website perhaps) to demonstrate that childhood masturbation is not something to fear or punish, and not something to make the girls feel guilty, but just something that they should be told gently to do in private. Any help? | 2007-12-12 18:42:43 |
| 761 | 5193 | Efie idea is great, the only problem is that the party asking for a meeting on the matter should be the "hostile" party no Aimee because they were the ones complaining; by the way these people reacted it shows a lack of culture, simple education and most of all a closed and narrrow mind, it reminds me when I was growing up that everyhting was "a mortal sin" I& will suggest to take the little girl to a good pediatrician for a checkup to have his word that there is no any sign of child abuse in order to get covered from CPS and find a simple way to explain her why the other girl can't be friends with& her anymore and keep with your life as usual. Still a lot of morons inthis world. Luisa | 2007-12-13 16:37:09 |
| 761 | 5194 | I think it may be a very good time to take your daughter to a paediatrician for a general check up and discussion. He/she will be able to give excellent advice and probably some literature to read. They can act as good peer support for you. My wife started masturbating when she was less than 5, usually by rubbing on the playground jungle gym. Between the ages of 5-12 she reckons she masturbated at least 2-3 times per day. I will ask her how when she was 5 did she work out it was something that was to be kept private. Even though we are open-minded I wonder how comfortable we would be if one of our neighbours girls started masturbating in front of a group of people at a social occasion I guess we would just work it through. I also wonder with these situations what our reactions would be if it were 2 young boys simulating masturbation with (visible) erect penis in the swimming pool in public. Somehow it seems that it would be easier to get the message across that it is not appropriate and should be in private. Young childrens minds are of course 'blank canvases' to them if it feels good, then it is cool, they know no different. Fortunately they generally respect and will follow the boundaries set by their parents so if you discuss it with kindness it should be posible to get the message across and even if your 5 yr old daughter doesn't understand she will most likey listen to you. | 2007-12-15 13:25:15 |
| 762 | 5164 | Are there any ladies out there who have worn the clit clip body jewelry?& If so, what did you think about it?& Does it in fact make you "feel sexy"?& Is it comfortable to wear for an evening of dancing, or a walk in the moonlight?& What kind of body jewelry do you like most to wear?& Thanks for any insight you can give. | 2007-12-03 20:59:42 |
| 762 | 5173 | & Luvbug, You asked for the opinions of ladies re 'clit clip body jewellery' so, being a man, I have hesitated to post for a couple of days but we know women who wear 'clip-on' arousers. I well imagine there are many types but the two used by these women are, one: a 'clit clip', shaped something like an hair pin, which sits behind the clit; and two: a Caresser which slides on the lips, too, and which has two small weighted chains hanging down to bump against the clit and the upper inner thighs. Before fitting them it is best to be well aroused with the clitoris fully erect and the vagina lubeing well. Both produce the highest arousal when worn with no panties. Both may be worn during masturbation, of course, and during intercourse if the man is careful not to catch the chains of the Caresser. Rear entry works well with this with the woman on all-fours and the weights hanging down . Some of the women find the Caresser too arousing to wear to work. My wife, older, thinks it wonderful. Many of the younger women wear the clit clip during the day, experience a continuing arousal but something they can control, although some find it necessary to masturbate after 4-5 hours. If stressed at work and drying, some use a lubricant every couple of hours. Hope some of this helps you. | 2007-12-06 18:14:22 |
| 764 | 5167 | I am probably too late to get to the club, but I am 30 and dont think I have experienced an orgasm. I have never masturbated and just started doing it reading all the posts in this forum. The problem is I can reach to a point where I feel blood rushing down to a peak and then the feeling is like I want to get something out of my system. But then nothing happens and it just goes away. I have been trying to masturbate by touching my clitoris and rubbing from its right side. What am I doing wrong ? | 2007-12-04 17:00:56 |
| 764 | 5168 | you aren't necessarily doing anything wrong and certainly not too late to "get to the club". Since you have just recently started masturbating, it may take you some time before you learn how your body reacts to it.& Be patient and open minded and remember to explore different options and techniques.& Most important is not to focus on having an orgasm.& The saying "a watched pot never boils" is my favorite to apply to orgasm.& The harder you try to have one, the harder it is to get one.& Just immerse yourself in the pleasure of the moment rather than trying to reach a certain goal. Also, many women report feeling the need to pee as they think they near orgasm.& This is a confusing sensation and is not actually the need to pee.& You may or may not experience female ejaculation.& If you feel that you might, be sure to read this forum and the articles on the main site that pertain to it.& It's an unfortunately unspoken-about occurence that unnecessarily results in false shame for a lot of women. Good luck with your explorations. | 2007-12-04 17:29:25 |
| 764 | 5171 | The sensation I get can be similar to feeling the need to pee but I can tell it is definitely not that. It doesn't feel exactly the same and& I never really thought of it as feeling that way until I read about other peoples descriptions of it and then& I decided that& I suppose it could be compared in a fashion. It does happen as a build up and then a sort of breaking/release point where you can't take the build up anymore and your body just jerks and lets it all out...lol. Mind, from reading about other women in here, each body responds differently to orgasm it seems. As mentioned, don't masturbate just to have an orgasm. Masturbate just because you feel like doing it and just do what feels& good at the time both physically and mentally. Let your brain/imagination carry you away. Orgasm will just come on it's own then when you least expect it. When you fall into the trap of waiting to have one and trying too hard to have one, you'll find it ever more difficult to have one. | 2007-12-05 10:23:44 |
| 764 | 5241 | [user=5310]pa[/user] wrote: "The problem is I can reach to a point where I feel blood rushing down to a peak and then the feeling is like I want to get something out of my system. But then nothing happens and it just goes away. " I know that one of the things I had to overcome when I first started was that I needed to keep going as I got more and more aroused. Things can get very, very intense as you get closer to orgasm and you need to keep stimulating yourself all the way through the most intense build up and through the orgasm, too. You may even need to increase the speed and pressure just a little bit. Let your mind go& with whatever naughty fantasies you're& having and don't stifle your breathing. Good luck, it's really worth the extra effort! :D | 2007-12-31 12:29:01 |
| 764 | 5242 | [user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user] wrote: "I know that one of the things I had to overcome when I first started was that I needed to keep going as I got more and more aroused. Things can get very, very intense as you get closer to orgasm and you need to keep stimulating yourself all the way through the most intense build up and through the orgasm, too. " Um, that said, it can also be good to take a break here and there. I know that sounds contradictory, but sometimes I will stop rubbing my clitoris for a minute or two and just gently stroke my inner labia and the opening of my vagina. It feels nice, but not so intense and after a minute or two I can go back to the serious stuff. | 2007-12-31 12:34:14 |
| 765 | 5175 | hey all. i'm new here obviously. my partner actually put on to the-clitoris.com as he has directed heaps of female friends to it and it has helped them out. he is quite a bit older than me (26 yrs to be exact) and has pretty well always gotten along with women better than other men. anyways the reason he sent me here is because i was in a& relationship previous to being with him where, i've since discovered, i built up psychological walls to having sex with my ex. sex was seriously painful and i was with this guy for 4.5 yrs and we didn't have sex for about 2.5 or 3 of those yrs due to this psychological thing i'd developed. since being with my current partner i want to have sex constantly which to me feels unnatural after thinking for 3 yrs that i had a physical problem and sex would always be painful therefore i came the conclusion that i was and would always have to be a non sexual being. so is it wrong to want to be in a constant state of shagging :P? it's on my mind 24/7. any comment that could be made even remotely sexual and my mind goe sstraight for the gutter which is actually quite funny the majority of that time. i just feel like i'm obsessing over it. my partner is like you're 21 it's normal for that reason if nothing else and after thinking you weren't ever going to have a sex life you have a lot to catch up on. i still feel like i'm some kind of freak though so he suggested that i ask all you lovely ladies out there and i think that getting some feedback from other women is a brilliant idea. Arianrhod | 2007-12-06 23:20:23 |
| 765 | 5176 | its ok to think about it as much as you like just as long as it isn't hurting you in other aspects of your life, i.e. becoming a distraction at school or work to the point of discipline or falling grades. you mention a psychological/painful issue with regards to sex.& you may be suffering from vaginismus, which can cause sex to be painful or even impossible and is generally a result of some psychological event(s).& a long time member her suffers from it as well and will likely give you information about it when she sees this post.& you may not have it, but its worth considering as it is something you can fix. | 2007-12-06 23:41:29 |
| 765 | 5177 | the pain thing is gone now. i split with my ex and thought crap it's still going to hurt because i thought it was physical. turns out it's not and it was obviously limited to him and& i'm fine now. i don't know what it was with him and i don't care as we're no longer together but i do worry about it happening again. the only issue i have had is we were getting a& tad cozy in the shower and were going to do the deed but i had some image pop into my head for a split second and i instantly shut down. i don't even know what it was but i didn't want to be touched or have anyone near me and i was crying. i am seeing a psychologist on a regular basis and he knows about this so we are working on it. if it has anything to do with some deep buried past abuse or something i am with someone who understands completely that if i have an episode like that we need to stop whatever we're doing straight away and i need alone time to gather my thoughts and myself basically. i don't know if there's anything in the past linked t it but my partner was abused as a child so he absolutely understands. i actually feel that i was always tense with my ex because he was into bondage stuff that didn't do anything for me but that i went along with for the sake of not listening to him bitch and moan or making him unhappy because i thought i was 'in love' and wouldn't get by if we broke up. i just felt like it was supposed to be all about him and i had no control over what was happening. a lot of time i really didn't want to and i was in pain and i was crying but he never noticed and i never said anything. as it turns out i ended up developing panic disorder and having panic attacks to the point where i was throwing up and could barely function and i did the breaking up. my current partner is very gentle and doesn't pressure me to do anything i'm not comfortable with and i actually feel relaxed with him which is possibly why i'm not tensing up and making sex basically impossible without heaps of pain. he's in the habit of paying me a lot of attention and making it about us not just himself and he also stops to make sure i'm okay with what's happening at which point i'm like i don't remember saying you could stop >:). but i absolutely appreciate it and i know if i'm not enjoying something or don't want to even try something& i think i won't like i can tell him that without him having an immature i'm so hard done by and you're a bitch reaction. god i hated that with my ex but forget past focus on now. oh and thinking about sex constantly isn't distracting me from my daily life but it is seriously frustrating. i get to the point where if i haven't had any i get this burning, tingling ache thing happening which feels like it's inside my vagina but it's an external heat aswell and it gets pretty hot. i'm not sure if that's normal but that's what happens. basically i'm insatiable at the moment. Arianrhod | 2007-12-06 23:58:54 |
| 766 | 5178 | This is unhealthy. I've been here before with my complaints about porn. And unfortunately, I am back. I really hope this doesn't offend anyone, however, as it could step on some toes. Please don't take anything personally. Anyway, all the porn my boyfriend watches is everything I am not. Might I add that we have a very close quartered relationship and have been living together since last January. He likes lesbians and women from different ethnic backgrounds. It's to the point that I feel so insecure about it that it's causing me to be blatantly judgmental. I am that immature! I just want to cry. Because I have never been this blatantly judgmental my entire life and I hate it about myself. But thanks to my insecurities, I just can't talk myself out of it. I always feel too light skinned or to straight or to small breasted or to fat or to this or to that. And the sad thing is, I don't think it has anything to do with Brandon, because he's always told me how much he likes me the way I am. It just goes back to my paranoia and self esteem issues. Is there any advice out there that can lend me some comfort and make me see a different side? I am so paranoid that I'm not giving him everything he needs. It doesn't help that I want to have sex more often than he does and I can't help but think I must do something wrong for him to rather masturbate some days than have sex with me. I asked him if there was anything that I did that he didn't like and he keeps telling me no, he loves having sex with me, but I just can't wrap my mind around why if he loves it so much, he's not in the mood as often as I am. If it were up to him, we'd do about once or twice a week, probably. Personally, I go a day or two without sex and already miss it. This makes me feel rather immature as my logical side is being, well, logical and telling me that I am overreacting, but I can't help but feel this way. | 2007-12-09 14:54:11 |
| 766 | 5179 | talk to him and guage how he views porn.& a lot of guys view porn as an escapist release of sexual fantasy, of things they are curious about but would not wish to actually perform in real life. if he takes this view of porn, then you are probably worrying too much.& i think you already suspect this anyway, but talking to him frankly about your concerns should help get you over your insecurites, or if there are issues not being discussed, it could bring them up for discussion. | 2007-12-09 16:42:40 |
| 766 | 5180 | We've been over the topic before, but I've never specifically asked if it's the escapist view or what. I suppose we will bring it up again. I found this that someone else said on a similar topic somewhere else and it made a lot of sense to me: "Im sorry, I know this is ask a guy, but I just had to reply to you. Yes, porn is more then okay. Guys are visual creatures, and like to look. Its not bad. Infact, looking/watching together can give you some really good ideas. Tell him to stop, and he'll just hide it on you (in most cases). You wound't want him to tell YOU to stop doing something YOU enjoy doing, would you? Thats not fair or right. Acept him for who he is, and WHAT he does. Try watching/looking with him. Don't come down on him for it..... And as for the perfect bodies- they are perfect because they are BOUGHT. Fake everything. Don't worry, hes not stupid, he knows that too. He's with YOU for you, not one of them. Oh, YOU HAD better stop watching your fav actor on TV, or you might leave you guy for that star. See how stupid that sounds? I'm sure you dont compare him to your fav TV star, do you? No. I doubt he'll do the same with you..... RELAX" | 2007-12-09 19:01:57 |
| 766 | 5181 | well, there are some good points in that post, but for my own personal stance, I don't consider many porn actresses to have "perfect" bodies or anywhere near it.& Once in a while a really gorgeous girl gets into porn, but almost all of those relatively rare specimens quickly resorts to plastic surgery.& an awful lot of girls in porn are not very pretty and do cheap porn for small amounts of money, others are chopped to hell and stuffed with plastic.& in either case, not very appealing physically.& I'd say probably in 90% of the porn I watch (possibly even more) I am far more interested in what the girl is doing than how she looks.& I know that the massive majority of porn actresses, were I to pass them on the street, I would not look at favorably (and that is purely from a superficial standpoint). | 2007-12-09 21:19:19 |
| 766 | 5182 | That's actually really interesting to hear as all of the ones I have seen have made me feel insecure and ugly.& O.o Maybe it's all in my head. I just get worried that I will be compared to someone with DD boobs and a flat stomach. | 2007-12-09 21:48:25 |
| 766 | 5183 | Hi, I must caution you that I am playing amateur psychologist below, so don't take what I say as known fact. I could be blowing smoke. :shock: While your concern is with porn the problem isn't porn, in my opinion. You make a statement that provides a clue to the problem. You say, "I am so paranoid that I'm not giving him everything he needs," when it is your needs that aren't being fulfilled. You are trying to give that which you aren't receiving. Obviously that wont work. You are the giver, as many women are, but aren't able to get what you want and need in return. This results in you always feeling empty, as a result of always giving. Apparently his needs are being fulfilled, through the combination of partnered sex and masturbation. While you say part of the problem is that you experience a greater desire for sex than he does, that isn't the problem either. Though the problem is perhaps made worse because his sexual desire can be satisfied partly through masturbation rather than only partnered sex. The porn simply provides the mental stimulation. If he wasn't using porn he would simply rely on fantasy or the local strip club. As far as the variety of women portrayed, variety is the spice of live. Porn is simply keeping his masturbation sessions interesting, as your hand gets pretty boring after a while. Since your motives to engage in partnered sex can't be and aren't fulfilled through masturbation I am guessing the needs you are trying to fulfill through partnered sex have little to do with sexual desire and the physical release of sexual tension through orgasm. If that weren't the case you would simply be masturbating your brains out in the other room, as you would have been doing prior to the relationship. You want more than the orgasms he can give you, if you seek orgasm at all, but the emotional things partnered sex provides you. I believe your emotional needs aren't being fulfilled and you expect more frequent partnered sex would fulfill those emotional needs. I believe you seek validation through partnered sex. You are measuring your self worth by his actions, rather than simply seeking physical pleasure. I believe low self confidence on your part is the problem, and the quoted comment above and your jealousy are an indication of this. I believe if you were having partnered sex as often as you desire your relationship would be based almost solely on sex, which wouldn't be good either. You may want to read my article about Sexual Desire, specifically where I address Intimacy and Sexual Desire.& [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/desire.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/desire.htm I could be wrong, in which case he is simply trying to maintain some connection with his prior bachelorhood and independence through masturbation. He isn't ready to be absorbed into the relationship, and wants some independence. If this is true, if he wasn't masturbating he would be out with friends at a bar or engaged in sports. It is also possible he has commitment issues. If low self confidence is the problem, meaning you are terrified of being single again, then you may want to look into ways of improving your self confidence on your own, as this isn't something you can do with him. The link given below is for a Google search on the subject of improving your self confidence. [url=www.google.com/search?q=improving+self+confidence] www.google.com/search?q=improving+self+confidence Ideally, partnered sex should give you both physical pleasure and cement your emotional bond, but in the absence of physical sex your relationship should be able to maintain itself, as all relationships go through periods of time when partnered sex isn't possible, as in the case of illness, pregnancy, childbirth, and often times, menstrual periods. If one of you lost your desire or ability to engage in partnered sex what would happen to the relationship? Sex often makes relationships more complex rather than solve problems. I hope this advise is of help. Brad | 2007-12-09 22:55:19 |
| 766 | 5184 | In general, if a woman has Barbie style, round and perky, breasts with implants that means she had the same before implants, as implants only make what you have larger. Doctors don't show off some of the results I have seen at strip clubs, and those women don't star in big budget adult movies either. While I may drool over DDs one minute that doesn't mean I don't drool over AAs the next. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] While the women in the videos may be nice eye candy, they could have a personality that makes them as desirable as a skunk with their backside aimed at you. :shock: I know some women have relied and their large breasts, and in the end they lost out to women with much smaller breasts because of it. I've witnessed that at a wet t-shirt contest when a gal with breast implants throught she could show up late and bipass the initial elimination rounds. Boy was she in for a surprise, as the audiance wasn't totally blinded by her breasts, and she was out of there immediately. My Adult Video News (AVN) magazine advertises videos featuring women of all shapes and sizes, and while many do feature huge boobies, others specifically feature women with little or no breast development. The Barely Legal theme generally features young petite women with small breasts. If anything, I suspect guys will get bored with large breasts, and small breasts will be the in thing again. Everything goes in cycles. & Brad | 2007-12-09 23:23:35 |
| 766 | 5185 | This actually is very interesting. And while I am not sure that it is absolute truth, I will definitely have to consider it. I already know that my self esteem and confidence levels are lower than I want them and have been working hard to improve on them. I have gotten books from the library on improving self esteem, started eating better and exercising. You probably speak truth when you say that it's my needs that aren't being fullfilled. It's not that he's not a great boyfriend or lover, but maybe I am looking for something that only exists in novels and Hollywood and since I am not getting it, I feel like I am missing something important? I have often questioned if my desire for sex is looking for more than just the physical intimacy, but the thing is, we are really close emotionally. Which yeah, leads me to believe that maybe I just have a false idea of what I should be experiencing and am looking for something that doesn't exist. :? I am considering letting him read what you wrote, as I believe there is some truth to it. Maybe it would help him understand where I am coming from. I wish I could explain our relationship better because at this point I probably sound like a terribly emotionally clingy naive girl. :( | 2007-12-09 23:44:00 |
| 766 | 5186 | Just wanted to reply that I do love solo masturbation and used to do it everyday, but I haven't as much anymore as I have been very busy with school. It just doesn't seem nearly as fullfilling as engaging with him. At the same time, that never seems to be enough either. :\ Sometimes I feel as if I have messed up my relationship beyond repair. But then I realize that there is definitely still hope as we get along very well despite our differences in this one area of our life. We have other differences, but we just talk through them. I'm sure a lot of people think this and it ends up not being true, but in a way, I honestly believe we will end up together for a very long time. So does he, at least that's what he says. The problem is, I see the danger in my mindset and behaivor and I dislike it a lot. I just finished up a Marriage, Family and Intimate Relationship class so I realize that jealousy and what not isn't good at all. I mean, it doesn't take a class for you to learn that, but I saw a bit more of what it can lead to and I really don't want to screw this up. Brandon isn't your typical guy that hangs out with the boys, drinks beer, etc. In fact, where we live now, neither of us have a lot of friends which I certainly don't think benefits us. He was raised by his single mom and with one sister, so he's not completely unwise to the ways of women. He's actually pretty sensitive and understanding. Which is why I think I am looking for something and really doesn't exist except for in fairytales and thus my feeling of not being fullfilled. | 2007-12-10 00:12:45 |
| 766 | 5187 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "In general, if a woman has Barbie style, round and perky, breasts with implants that means she had the same before implants, as implants only make what you have larger. Doctors don't show off some of the results I have seen at strip clubs, and those women don't star in big budget adult movies either. While I may drool over DDs one minute that doesn't mean I don't drool over AAs the next. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] While the women in the videos may be nice eye candy, they could have a personality that makes them as desirable as a skunk with their backside aimed at you. :shock: I know some women have relied and their large breasts, and in the end they lost out to women with much smaller breasts because of it. I've witnessed that at a wet t-shirt contest when a gal with breast implants throught she could show up late and bipass the initial elimination rounds. Boy was she in for a surprise, as the audiance wasn't totally blinded by her breasts, and she was out of there immediately. My Adult Video News (AVN) magazine advertises videos featuring women of all shapes and sizes, and while many do feature huge boobies, others specifically feature women with little or no breast development. The Barely Legal theme generally features young petite women with small breasts. If anything, I suspect guys will get bored with large breasts, and small breasts will be the in thing again. Everything goes in cycles. & Brad" Well, here's to posting too much. As far as breasts are concerned, he says he LOVES mine. I have lopsided Cs, but he never noticed they were different until I pointed it out one night. He's very breast focused and says mine are perfect for him. So I guess it wasn't fair for me to bring that up. | 2007-12-10 00:20:02 |
| 766 | 5188 | Hi, While his masturbation and porn viewing may not be the primary problem, it does impact your relationship. It is important to understand why he chooses this over partnered sex. It could have to do with demonstrating independence or simply wanting to enjoy some selfish sexual pleasure. Are you perhaps smothering him a bit and he is being resistant? Does he see you as a dating couple and you as a married couple? Something to consider is why you can't masturbate together?& If you are in the mood why can't you join him?& Isn't there some porn you both enjoy? How about talking dirty to him while he masturbates, or exchange fantasies? Perhaps have him masturbate and ejaculate on you, if this is something you are open to. You might try role playing to spice things up. Check out his porn and consider dressing up and acting like one of his favorite characters, if he is comfortable with your being openly sexual and perhaps "slutty." You always have to be careful of that Madonna/Whore complex some men have. Even though you have good sized breasts, get some falsies, like Angelina Jolie did for her role as Lara Croft, and vamp it up a bit. I don't recommend padded and push up bras for daily use, but during role playing they do serve a useful purpose. The problem with padded and push up bras when you are dating is sooner or later they have to come off, which creates a bit of a barrier to intimacy; your become fearful of rejection when he sees the real you, even though I suspect guys extremely rarely run out the door when their partner is actually a AA rather than the B cup they appear to be when dressed. Perhaps instead of him masturbating you should both go for a walk together.& Schedule his, her, and together time.& As students you likely don't have extra money, so you have to find free things to do.& If he is spending more time alone masturbating than he is with you, that is a problem, and& time sleeping together doesn't count as time together. As mentioned in the Body Image section of the website, there is a huge difference between what people expect breasts to look like and what they really do. Seems like every woman is wearing under wire bras, which means they want their breast to look perkier than they truly are. The problem is, everyone is falling for all this false advertising, even women themselves. We are talking 20 years ago, but there was a stripper at a bar I went to that had two different sized breasts, one was like AA and the other A. Her trademark if you will, was likely her tall slim body and long blond hair. This is probably not how the average woman envisions the average exotic dancer. Dancers with cold personalities didn't fare so well over the long term. Large breasts will only get you so far. Since his mother was a single parent perhaps he has no idea how a couple acts together. Perhaps you need couple's therapy to resolve the issues you are experiencing. Another factor to consider is your level of stress, which in part has reduced your frequency of masturbation. Perhaps you need more private time to relax than time together having sex. If you clit isn't throbbing then don't pursue partnered sex or masturbation. The void may not be the result of a lack of things in your life but too much in your life. When he is masturbating perhaps you should be hanging out in the shower or& tub relaxing; two different ways of dealing with stress. Brad | 2007-12-10 11:37:01 |
| 766 | 5189 | I cannot really thank you enough for how helpful you have been. You've given a great number of ideas and comments here, and I would like to take the time to address each one individually. "While his masturbation and porn viewing may not be the primary problem, it does impact your relationship. It is important to understand why he chooses this over partnered sex. It could have to do with demonstrating independence or simply wanting to enjoy some selfish sexual pleasure. Are you perhaps smothering him a bit and he is being resistant? Does he see you as a dating couple and you as a married couple?" We have talked about him choosing to masturbate over partnered sex. Well, I can't say that he chooses it over sex, because he has never told me no, he'd rather masturbate, but we have discussed the two versus each other. He enjoys masturbating alone because he doesn't have to worry about me, can enjoy his visual stimilus without worrying that it's bothering me (sorry, lesbians don't do it for me. ;)) and just have his alone time. I totally respect that. There are some times that I'd rather masturbate because I enjoy fantasizing about different things myself. I think I am smothering him when it comes to pestering him about sex. I tease him about it a lot and I realize that's probably not helpful behaivor at all. It started out as teasing and joking, now it's become a habit. We've already discussed that if I didn't make it seem like a chore he would much more willing. I think I've made myself TOO available that there's no challenge in it. As far as what we are, I have no idea how we see the relationship. I see us with as a dating couple that lives like a married couple, I suppose. I think he sees it the same way. We're very much tied into each other's lives and there's really no "boys nights out" or "girls nights out" as this goes back to us not really having time to go out and make new friends. I have one good female friend that I went to high school with that lives very close to us that I hang out with, but half the time Brandon goes along. Which doesn't bother me at all. But he doesn't really have any guy friends as we both go to class and then work and hardly have time to meet new people. I would be in support of him making new friends and going out with them, and him for me, so it's not like we're purposely keeping each other tied down. "Something to consider is why you can't masturbate together?& If you are in the mood why can't you join him?& Isn't there some porn you both enjoy? How about talking dirty to him while he masturbates, or exchange fantasies? Perhaps have him masturbate and ejaculate on you, if this is something you are open to." This one came up once. I walked in on him masturbating once and he abruptly closed the door, quit, and came out. I was actually really down about it because I had wanted to join in and see where it went. When I talked to him about it he said that he had quit because he was watching porn and he knew how I felt about it and didn't want to hurt my feelings or anything. As far as being open, I am open to just about anything! I love talking dirty, mutual masturbation, etc. Doesn't bother me a bit and he knows that. In fact, he recently started tapping into what turns me on even more. We usually take turns pleasing each other, as well, so it's not like I'm giving it all or he's giving it all. It's pretty well balanced. "You might try role playing to spice things up. Check out his porn and consider dressing up and acting like one of his favorite characters, if he is comfortable with your being openly sexual and perhaps "slutty." You always have to be careful of that Madonna/Whore complex some men have. Even though you have good sized breasts, get some falsies, like Angelina Jolie did for her role as Lara Croft, and vamp it up a bit." We recently started role playing just through talking! It was actually quite a bit of fun. I never really put any deep thought into dressing up for him, but it could be quite interesting. I think he'd love if it I turned slutty just for him. "Perhaps instead of him masturbating you should both go for a walk together.& Schedule his, her, and together time.& As students you likely don't have extra money, so you have to find free things to do.& If he is spending more time alone masturbating than he is with you, that is a problem, and& time sleeping together doesn't count as time together. " I think I painted an ugly picture of his masturbation. He doesn't do it everyday nor does he spend more than about 20-30 minutes on it. If he knows I am home, he stops immediately in fear of angering me, which makes me pretty sad that I have created that attitude in him. We play games together like Monopoly or darts, go see movies, rent movies, etc, so we do have a lot of time together. I guess it's not too much for him to ask for me to allow him to have some alone time without getting my feelings hurt. In fact, I wonder if he might like to masturbate more because of the quantity of time that we do spend together... "Since his mother was a single parent perhaps he has no idea how a couple acts together. Perhaps you need couple's therapy to resolve the issues you are experiencing. " I believe there is some grain of truth to this, but needless to say, his mother did a LOT for him. She hated porn as well and always told him what a false version of sex it was, and he realizes this. But he likes the visual stimilus nonetheless. His mother didn't want him to watch porn and would take it when she found it (even though she is very open with sexual matters and masturbation, I guess she drew the line at porn) but like I tell him, I don't want him to see me as disciplining him and telling him he can't have something that he likes. He's never told me to stop reading the stories I occasionally read when I masturbate. He's an adult and it's not my decision if he chooses to watch porn or not. "Another factor to consider is your level of stress, which in part has reduced your frequency of masturbation. Perhaps you need more private time to relax than time together having sex. If you clit isn't throbbing then don't pursue partnered sex or masturbation. The void may not be the result of a lack of things in your life but too much in your life. When he is masturbating perhaps you should be hanging out in the shower or& tub relaxing; two different ways of dealing with stress." Another great item for thought! I like the idea of finding something relaxing and stress free to do while he is masturbating. Then he won't feel the need to hide it and I can relax in my own way. I think I have just become to fixated on having sex and feeling like this is the best way to please him that it's simply become a chore and annoyance to him. Maybe we should begin to replace sex with games like Monopoly or darts unless we both really want to have sex. This seems fair enough. | 2007-12-10 13:25:33 |
| 766 | 5190 | Glad to be of help. :D Well, it sounds like you are communicating, which would be the main obstacle to overcome. Expressing your needs and having the words to do so is challenging for all, even if you are talking. Sounds like he is feeling guilty about masturbating, having lived with his mom and sister. Perhaps you need to ask him to masturbate while you simply watch, more often. Ideally, if you walk in on each other masturbating you still should be able to have a short civil conversation, even if you only say hello and continue with your business. I suggest finding some porn that works for both of you. I like girl/girl because I am not a big fan of long blow jobs and straight intercourse, visually.& Perhaps if one of the girls in butch in girl/girl porn you may find it more appealing?& Are there girls you have found attractive and considered having sex with in the past? Aren't there girls with average sized breasts that he likes? How about boy/boy porn? Perhaps you need to sit down and watch girl/girl porn until it doesn't bother you. Kind of like watching a mainstream movie you don't particularly like. While girl/girl porn may not arouse you, if it bothers or offends you then you perhaps need to figure out why and resolve this conflict if possible. There is a thread about mainstream erotica/porn where I make some suggestions. One video I haven't added to the list is "Short Bus," which has a lot more boy/boy scenes than I have seen in the other movies I have watched. Must say it was an eye opener. :shock: [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shortbus]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shortbus [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0367027/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0367027/ [url=www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=615] www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=615 During partnered sex you may want and need to take more responsibility for your own pleasure so he doesn't feel so pressured; this I believe is a common experience for men, and as a result couples, today. You can roll dice to see whose turn it is to get pleasured. Perhaps mutual masturbation needs to be a greater part of your sexual activities together. At times you have to let him use you, and vise versa. Partnered sex MUST NOT revolve around his penis, specifically his erect penis, or marathon sessions of oral sex, at least every time. Have you explore sex toys? Introducing a vibrator may reduce the pressure he experiences. Getting a dildo with a suction cup base may provide entertainment for both of you, physically for you and visually for him. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] If he is being a naughty boy with his porn and masturbation then he does need to be reprimanded, and this might work well with role playing. Got a ridding crop? :P Perhaps he does need a second mother? :D It sounds like you are perhaps under a lot of stress, so try to keep things as simple as possible, and don't beat yourself up about it so much. Brad | 2007-12-10 15:18:00 |
| 766 | 5191 | To be honest, switching off using each other doesn't bother me. Like I said, I am very open and don't mind bondage, experimentation, a little kink here and there. I have no problems spending the evening pleasuring him. Which we have actually been doing more of lately. I'd have to say we have pretty good sex and we both are continuing to try new things and explore. Things can get really interesting, to say the least. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] I guess the main problem is that I wanted sex more than him and I felt threatened by his porn. But now I realize that it's not sex that I wanted all the time, which I had an idea of before anyway. And I think your suggestion on porn is good. No, he doesn't just watch porn with big boobs, I have watched some of his before out of curiosity and there were quite a variety of women. Whenever I start to feel threatened again, I will just remember this thread and perhaps even reread it if it comes down to it. I am feeling much better and have discussed quite a bit of this with him and how I need to take time to relax because it never really occured to me before. I think you're right that I have been really stressed out lately between classes, work, spending too much time hating porn, etc. This was a very nice reality check. | 2007-12-10 16:43:20 |
| 767 | 5195 | ok that one probably will be quick and easy question for you all. my problem is simple - i can't do anything with my clitoris, i mean while masturbating. penetration of vagina almost always ends up with orgasm, but my clitoris? i've never really paid attention to this little part of me. lately i started to think about it and tried to do something - but it's just nothing. i can't even think about any fantasies, while touching it (geez it sounds like a gag from a porn movie, can't get used to talking about this kind of stuff here in front of all of you guys) i just feel the need to piss. literally. i don't feel any sexual excitement, nothing. absolute zero. can i change it? or maybe i'm just doomed? ;} maybe that matters maybe not but i'm a lesbian. o! and also one thing. let's make it 'btw question' - i'm not attracted to man at all, but while masturbating i can only have an orgasm by thinking of a man penetrating woman's vagina with his penis. and that scares the hell out of me! any ideas why i think in this specific way? thanks for help, now i can only start waiting for anwers! | 2007-12-15 18:53:12 |
| 767 | 5196 | Wow.& You're the complete opposite of me.& I get absolutely nothing out of penetration but feel EVERYTHING in my clitoris.& Yet you enjoy penetraton and you're a lesbian. I don't enjoy penetration and I'm straight. Sexuality is so weird. | 2007-12-15 19:52:17 |
| 767 | 5197 | Hi, You certainly are not alone in your experience, though the presumption is that all women have a sensitive clitoris. In the article linked to below I mention some reasons why women have a numb clitoris. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves_4.htm The reason why you fantasize about intercourse with men may stem from the lack of lesbian role models in which they utilized vaginal penetration. If your clitoris is numb you are less likely to fantasize about sexual activities in which it is stimulated. The taboo also seems to be more erotic than that which isn't. According to the archived results for the survey about sexual orientation, linked to below, you will see that other lesbians have sexual fantasies involving men, and their level of comfort with this reality is also explored, towards the end of the survey. www.misterpoll.com/polls/233420/results The current results only reflect the experiences of 5 women. Brad | 2007-12-15 22:28:28 |
| 767 | 5198 | Hi frustrated and another girl...sexuality is different from one person to another and my motto is to enjoy the way I get the most of it if I don't hurt anyone; don't worry about your fantasies, that is what they are "good fantasies" and as far you experience a good sexual relief is all that counts Happy holidays to all Luisa | 2007-12-16 09:51:16 |
| 768 | 5199 | I received this email some time ago and didn't know where to add it to the website so am adding it here. Hi, this could be interesting for your great site: In a cave in southwest Germany (where i live) a 28000 year old polished stone dildo has been found in 2005. I have found this article while Googling for some archaeological stuff: English articles: Greetings from Germany (we have already some snow here) | 2007-12-16 14:36:09 |
| 768 | 5200 | I learned about this one when I was in Turkey 20 years ago, and bought a wooden replica; it came as a set when I was trying to buy other figurines from the local merchants. [url=snailstales.blogspot.com/2005/07/in-this-god-we-trust.html] snailstales.blogspot.com/2005/07/in-this-god-we-trust.html | 2007-12-16 14:54:28 |
| 768 | 5201 | Japanese erotic art: [url=www.gregkucera.com/shunga.htm] www.gregkucera.com/shunga.htm www.ukiyoe-gallery.com/gallery9.htm | 2007-12-16 15:10:20 |
| 768 | 5202 | Japanese Shrines: [url=www.yamasa.org/japan/english/destinations/aichi/tagata_jinja.html] www.yamasa.org/japan/english/destinations/aichi/tagata_jinja.html www.2camels.com/photos/hounen-penis-fertility-festival.php | 2007-12-16 15:12:11 |
| 768 | 5203 | Vulva Worship: www.suppressedhistories.net/articles/icons.html en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheela_na_Gig www.sheelanagig.org/ www.yoniversum.nl/yoni/yonipuja.html www.tantric-goddess.org/yoni_tantra.htm www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/t/tantrism.html | 2007-12-16 15:57:47 |
| 769 | 5204 | Hi, In a recent discussion I brought up the idea of a woman using falsies to make her breasts appear larger than they truly are, as a part of role playing. I personally like breasts of all sizes and don't recommend or endorse breasts implants or padded and push-up bras when they worn daily,& but do understand the desire a woman may have to explore what it is like to have larger or huge breasts, as a part of private role playing at home or surprising friends and family at a Halloween party. Angelina Jolie, who is a natural C cup, did this as part of her fanciful role as Lara Croft in the movie series Tomb Raider. I am all in favor of role playing, as she did in this case. Falsies are actually called breast forms, and some are very realistic, and come in many shapes sizes. While they can be expensive, they are less expensive than implants and have don't have the associated potential complications. Here are links to suppliers of breast forms. Some of them are directed at cross dressers. :P Some are hystically huge. :shock: [url=www.glamourboutiquecart.com/] www.glamourboutiquecart.com [url=www.glamourboutique.com/breastforms/index.html] www.glamourboutique.com/breastforms/index.html [url=www.thebreastformstore.com/breastforms-catalog.aspx] www.thebreastformstore.com/breastforms-catalog.aspx [url=www.bosombuddy.com/product.htm] www.bosombuddy.com/product.htm [url=siliconeworks.com/shop/silicone_breast_forms_2_ctg.htm] siliconeworks.com/shop/silicone_breast_forms_2_ctg.htm | 2007-12-17 12:00:18 |
| 769 | 5210 | They also are great for those that have lost a breast or two due to breast cancer.& They look realistic and definitely would help boost the woman's confidence. | 2007-12-23 00:50:20 |
| 770 | 5205 | I was talking to a friend tonight on the phone and somehow the conversation drifted around to sex; and specifically, do women wake up very aroused like guys do? I've had the experience many times of waking up in the middle of the night or in the morning with a raging& hard on& and having to 'take matters in to hand' to relieve the tension before I get out of bed... I asked my friend if she did and she said she rarely did and had never discussed the topic with other women. So... Let me asked the 'Panel Of Experts' out there, is it as common for women to wake up very aroused and feel the need to masturbate before they get up like many guys do? Thanks for your input! & | 2007-12-20 21:14:20 |
| 770 | 5206 | Hey.. .For sure...! My partner (51yrs old) often wakes up horny... We have huge cuddles wrapped around each other all night every night... but we have some hum-dinger arguments in the morning cause I sleep REALLY REALLY well until 7:30am ish, (deep sleep with full colour, sound, touch, astral flying...you name it..!). And like 5:30am she wakes up horny and starts foreplay, gentle sucking etc...I'm like still zonked out in deep dream state but she is waking me up...and I get annoyed...!. Some interesting points though... She sleeps real good (especially when cuddling) until 5:30-6:00am... then whamo...she's awake.... and she's the boss... lol Before we met she said she would often wake up on the weekends around 5:30am and sooo not want to get up, so she would masturbate 2-3 times and try to go back to sleep.. Especially if she was on a sleep over at a friends because after being awake more than 15 minutes she would want to get up and that usually wakes her friends sleeping in the next room. But her urge to masturbate then seems as much about doing something practical to help her go back to sleep.. Our compromise is for her to wake and just lay there for an extra hour or so enjoying our cuddles and slowly waking me...... and I compromise by slowly waking and going along with her wicked ways... sigh...! Timing is important...otherwise we are both late for work... Probably one other thing is that she has seldom woken that horny before...and niether her and I were such great cuddlers until we met but we is SOOO in love it just seems the best thing to start the day... and like we're 18 months together, so it is a love/sex/love thing not just a 'horny' male/female... Yahoo...! | 2007-12-21 02:37:59 |
| 770 | 5207 | I don't really wake up that way but if I lay in bed long enough after waking, I can often get the horn on once I'm fully awake and had time for my mind to start straying into certain realms...lol. | 2007-12-21 08:16:50 |
| 770 | 5208 | I'm with Cannis, no too often I wake up horny even when rarely have erotic dreams but many times I go to bed horny and have to relieve it before to go to sleep and it reminds me of my childhood. I htink in men it is the prostrate gland that is engorged to close the urethra to retain the urine and give the guys an erection that is relieved masturbating. Hapy holidays all& Luisa | 2007-12-21 10:06:09 |
| 770 | 5209 | Hello, I have yes, lol, I go to sleep with it with that feeling and having the whole night likely because& I wake up with it. Or I wake up to it, lol, I don't remember dreams well though. Dreams, I've never been able to, nightmares sure..but they've never made me feel horny which is a good thing, i guess one could say! lol. Hope to answers your question. & | 2007-12-21 21:25:35 |
| 770 | 5211 | Not all the time. :P& When my boyfriend sleeps over, it's definite we're going to have morning sex.& I don't masturbate much in the morning anymore because I don't have enough time to do so.& But when I was in middle and high school I could have cared less and did it because I wanted to. I usually do it before going to sleep, not as often anymore since I've been sexually active. | 2007-12-23 00:56:34 |
| 770 | 5227 | in a word.....ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY......i often have erotic dreams and wake up experiencing this feeling that is as intense as orgasm. whether or not it actually is, is another story.& supposedly there is such a thing as female wet dreams so that's possibly what it is. so yeah providing i'm not the only one on the planet which i seriously doubt, women can wake up wanting to have rampant sex or at the least having to masturbate before they feel like they can function as a normal human being >:),& just as much as men. | 2007-12-27 01:12:17 |
| 770 | 5229 | My boyfriend wakes up horny almost every morning.& If I'm not particularly in the mood, I just leave when I wake up and he does his thing. If I am in the mood (which I am probably 3 days out of the week), then I wake him up with some foreplay and we have sex. :) Or at least mutual masturbation. | 2007-12-27 16:07:50 |
| 770 | 5240 | I guess a raging hard-on would be not just a simple erection, but a very, very urgent need to do something about it. I don't really wake up feeling horny, certainly nothing like a raging hard-on, but if I lie in bed for a little while and start daydreaming about sex, the need to masturbate can get pretty strong. Weekend mornings can be a very horny time for me. | 2007-12-31 12:09:19 |
| 770 | 5257 | as a guy I have to say that not all of us wake up horny.& sometimes every now and then if I sleep in and wake up without an alarm, and then don't get out of bed my mind sometimes strays to sex, but short of waking up in the middle of the VERY rare sex dream, I'd have to say that I never wake up with a hard on, raging or otherwise.& not that I couldn't be persuaded quite easily to think of sex in the morning, but it doesn't come to me naturally. | 2008-01-04 00:09:31 |
| 770 | 5378 | Yes, definitely... but more often as a teenager than now (I'm 47). Sometimes I& wake up extremely aroused from an explicitly sexual dream, but more often just moderately aroused and full of sexual thoughts. | 2008-01-31 14:18:40 |
| 771 | 5213 | Hi, I am continuing my research into the female sexual nervous system and learning about interesting things like plasticity and adaptation. Basically, the more something is used the more it develops. The brain adapts to use and non-use. My primary question is, prior to learning to masturbate is a girl's clitoris stimulated in a nonsexual context during daily activities like bathing and wiping following urination? Boys are taught to hold their penis while urinating but I can envision the clitoris being like a no-woman's land during long periods of childhood and adolescence. Prior to learning to masturbate does the clitoris receive stimulation? Does the clitoral glans receive stimulation or only the hood? Do the ladies here recall whether their clitoris was stimulated by daily activities during childhood, and to what degree? If it wasn't stimulated, do you recall what it was like when you did start to stimulate it? I am trying understand how the neglected clitoris may respond to stimulation once it does occur. Was it numb or overly sensitive? Would you say your clitoral hood did and does shield your clitoris from all but direct intentional stimulation? Would you say that your clitoris performs better with use? Thanks, Brad | 2007-12-23 16:51:32 |
| 771 | 5214 | You see, when I was in health class in middle school I would get so turned on when the teacher would talk about the sex organs.& Then he mentioned this thing called masturbation.& So I looked it up on-line and did some research.& I always hated how I would get turned on and I did not know what to do to have it go away. I stumbled upon your website and found some techniques.& I remember when I first started my clit was really sensitive.& I had to find the right way to touch it in order for me to climax and orgasm. I also remember when I first started to use tampons it turned me on then too.& I was not used to something going inside me and touching my vaginals walls.& It felt good.& I'll think about this more and I'll be able to tell you more for your research. | 2007-12-24 06:24:06 |
| 771 | 5215 | This is something I never really thought about to be honest. I didn't masturbate as a child and didn't start doing so until I was 18. I don't remember the clitoris recieving stimulation before this time and I was a bit naive and ignorant about it as well. I knew about the existence of them from the magazines I used to read in my earlier teens& but wasn't 100% sure where abouts it was and never took the time to look into it. I also knew about orgasm but didn't know exactly what would bring it about or what it was like...in fact, I didn't think much about it at all. I can't remember exactly how or why the masturbation started and why I left it until I was 18. It started with touching breasts before graduating to the crotch area and the first time I touched the clit directly, I had an orgasm fairly quickly and it was quite a surprise because I wasn't thinking about it or expecting it, it just happened and then I realised thats what I must've just had. Once I'd had one, I knew how to have more and was well away from there on. | 2007-12-24 10:38:00 |
| 771 | 5216 | I started masterbating at around 5 or 6.& Prior to that, around age 3 I used to get turned on when I urinated (this is so weird i know) so I used to pee in the bathroom sink, and I used to pee in this box that my mother kept her antique plates and cups in. Till this day,& peeing feels really really good to me to where it feels like I am about to climax.& I told& friends this and they started laughing, one made a remark "if peeing felt like that i'd do it every chance i got".& I thought every woman experienced this.& Maybe it's just me lol A few years later around 5/6& I progressed to masterbating with my clitoris. I was exposed to& sex in movies at an& early age too& which was a major influence.& i have a sister who& is 5 1/2 years older than me and as children& we used to watch PG and R rated movies& together.& my sister was young & naive& too so she didn't know any better, and she would pop in all these r rated movies for me to watch just to get me out of her way ( I was a little brat:P) so I'm pretty sure some scene from one of those old movies had something about masterbation in it and i just mimicked what they did and discovered that it felt really good. | 2007-12-24 17:06:42 |
| 771 | 5223 | Dear frustrated don't feel bad because many of us had some kind of ritual rehgarding sexual satisfaction, your memories of your childhood when you urinated and felt a good sensation are etched in your brain and help you to achieve sexual climax; that's the name of thegame. When I was little& I bumped& my rag doll and felt somekind of nice peace and went to sleep; when I grew& a little and was showed how to masturbate and reach orgasm I started doing it and enjoying it. Luisa | 2007-12-25 12:16:31 |
| 771 | 5225 | Yeah, I used to hump on teddy bears, beach balls and pillows.& Strangely, I remember having a desire to pee while I was coming close to climaxing.& Even now, oral sex feels& amazing when my bladder is kinda full, the pleasure is more intense and I orgasm quicker.& Why is that? Also, I get turned on when I see a man urinating.& I don't know why. It's not like I am into golden showers& or anything.& But& I remember a few ocassions walking in on my ex when he was in the bathroom and I caught him urinating and I instantly became turned on.& This is really weird and I feel like a freak for admitting this... | 2007-12-25 14:47:32 |
| 771 | 5230 | I am another one of those who severly neglected her clitoris. I didn't even know what it was until I was 18. I was educated on having a vagina, I used tampons, and I recall telling my mother that if sex was anything like putting in a tampon, I wanted nothing to do with it (this was the very first time I tried a tampon ;)). I didn't start masturbating until I was a senior in highschool. I had never had a boyfriend or any sort of physical intimacy, so I don't even know what started my masturbating. Anyway, I refused to use my hands, rather I used my pajamas to rub against. I experienced my first orgasm doing this and remember nights trying to get to whatever that wonderful feeling was again. Needless to say, it didn't happen again until I met my boyfriend and we started fooling around eventually. The first time I masturbated was the day of the Super Bowl 2007. ;) I just remember because there were a lot of people in my apartment and I was in the bedroom without a lock& hoping no one would come in. I was laying underneath my blanket, reading a book, and stimulating myself with my hands. I remember not being really sure of what to do, but I read some stories on this website under masturbation and tried out various techniques I read. I found what worked for me was flicking my finger over my clit without directly touching it. I don't remember my clit ever being stimulated until I realized what it was. Well, I rode horses and sometimes I noticed that if I set up and tilted my pelvis forward with quite a bit of pressure it felt good, but I had no idea what it was. Thats all that I can recall. | 2007-12-27 16:16:14 |
| 771 | 5231 | When I first started at 18 also, and like Sugarwest, I had never had a BF or sexual intimacy at that time, even though I was ignorant regarding the clit and orgasm etc even though& I knew about the existence of both..I'm not sure what guided me to just where the clit was. Something just sort of made me want to touch the area even though I never recalled feeling pleasure from it previously. I used a soft toy because, again, I didn't want to use bare hands and even though I will now, I find that fingers aren't that great when it comes to stimulating the clitoris. I've had orgasm from using fingers but it doesn't feel as good. I sort of figured my clit must've been where the best pleasure seemed to come from. Without the internet and all that, I didn't have a means to look everything up as easilyand I suppose that may have helped stop me from becoming too aware and obsessed over orgasm before I had one and prevented the vicious circle of not being able to have one for trying too hard. I started using my dildo for it now which has humps on it for G-spot stimulation if you insert it and those humps seem to do the trick on the clit too. | 2007-12-27 16:29:15 |
| 771 | 5233 | I know that I discovered it when I was little, maybe 7 or 8 years old, and wondered what it was, hoping it was a penis or would grow into a penis. I guess our society just gives us this notion that a penis is a really cool thing to own and doesn't even let us know what a clitoris is, let alone that it's just as cool. I really don't remember it being stimulated by everyday activities but I do remember rubbing very hard against the edge of a wooden chair in school. Glad I stopped that because it might have desensitized my clitoris.:shock: | 2007-12-29 15:56:55 |
| 771 | 5234 | & Sexually Frustrated, you are very hard on yourself. Many, many women of different cultures, feel some stirring of arousal when seeing or watching an adult male piss. Some prefer the back view, with the straddled legs and one or both hands in front, when their imagination takes over. Others like to see it all, the cock, the spraying and how the man holds holds his cock, between thumb and finger or between fore-finger and middle finger. When the stream ceases, many men run a forefinger tip very lightly along the fraenulum a few times, often fattening the cock, a little, and this is enjoyed by the watching woman. Some have told us it is the sense of power of the Male which they perceive and which excites. Some women bring themselves to their most intense cums whilst holding a pissing cock. We have had a few women who have loved having their clitoris pissed upon as they sit on the lavatory bowl. Please think well of yourself. Nothing in which you take delight is unique to you. Many other women feel similarly, whatever it is. | 2007-12-29 23:16:26 |
| 772 | 5217 | X-rated Videos :cool: You must be at least 18 to view the videos linked to below. You can download and save the videos on the pages linked to below. While I cannot be sure, I believe these videos feature real female orgasms. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] Educational Porn :shock: Masturbation: [url=www.youporn.com/watch/825] www.youporn.com/watch/825 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/101147] www.youporn.com/watch/101147 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/33714] www.youporn.com/watch/33714 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/34666] www.youporn.com/watch/34666 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/48189] www.youporn.com/watch/48189 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/33806] www.youporn.com/watch/33806 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/3343] www.youporn.com/watch/3343 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/105818] www.youporn.com/watch/105818 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/41721] www.youporn.com/watch/41721 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/30000] www.youporn.com/watch/30000 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/81800] www.youporn.com/watch/81800 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/16968] www.youporn.com/watch/16968 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/18719] www.youporn.com/watch/18719 Realistic Technique, audio may be dubbed [url=www.youporn.com/watch/61165] www.youporn.com/watch/61165 Realistic Technique, Orgasm? [url=www.youporn.com/watch/16968] www.youporn.com/watch/16968 Masturbating on Stomach: [url=www.youporn.com/watch/5487] www.youporn.com/watch/5487 With Partner, Vibrator, & Clitoral Massage [url=www.youporn.com/watch/45717] www.youporn.com/watch/45717 During Intercourse with Female Ejaculation and Intense Full Body Spasms [url=www.youporn.com/watch/629] www.youporn.com/watch/629 During Intercourse [url=www.youporn.com/watch/3952] www.youporn.com/watch/3952 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/22088] www.youporn.com/watch/22088 During Clitoral & Anal Stimulation [url=www.youporn.com/watch/44168] www.youporn.com/watch/44168 During Anal Intercourse - Given Angle of Her Body, Likely Includes G-Spot Stimulation [url=www.youporn.com/watch/705] www.youporn.com/watch/705 Female Ejaculation [url=www.youporn.com/watch/33695] www.youporn.com/watch/33695 [url=www.youporn.com/watch/30903] www.youporn.com/watch/30903 | 2007-12-24 17:12:02 |
| 772 | 5218 | Sorry to say, but i've seen at least half of these videos on numerous sites around the net.& Several girls are semi-pro (private webcam girls) and a couple at definitely professional porn actors. FTV, the site where the very first video came from, used to be legit and have a lot of truly unique girls 4 or 5 years ago, girls that had never done porn before and many who never did it again after they appeared on FTV, but in the last 3 years almost all of the girls on that site (while often very pretty) have been professionals with several studio movies under their belts. I personally only find a handful of those believable. | 2007-12-25 00:21:50 |
| 772 | 5221 | It is certainly easy enough for women to fake orgasm so I evaluate their technique, and behavior after orgasm. I considered whether men and women can learn from the technique demonstrated even if the orgasm were faked. Flashy techniques are usually inconsistent with achieving orgasm. The pros are much more likely to fake it, but that doesn't mean they can't have real ones too. Some are exhibitionists after all and get off on putting on a show. The ones I am not sure about are some of the female ejaculation scenes where the woman appears to lose control over her body, and there also appears to be a change in their mental state too. I agree that many videos reported to show real female orgasms are fake, and show nothing more than voluntary contraction of the pelvic muscles. I know of one website that was suppose to feature real orgasms did appear to go down hill with time. Perhaps this is because there is a lack of clips available that show real orgasms, or because it is so easy to fake. Brad | 2007-12-25 09:55:15 |
| 772 | 5224 | I'm with you Brad, we can learn even from the fake orgasms, just try some of the techniques maybe they will work for us; thanks anyway for the links. I agree maybe a copule of the clips are believable. Luisa | 2007-12-25 13:05:43 |
| 772 | 5263 | Will clicking on those video links give my computer a virus?? I'm scared to watch. | 2008-01-08 23:54:20 |
| 772 | 5266 | They didn't when I watched them, but I have antivirus software running. The links are to a major website, which means they aren't likely to have viruses. You do have to watch links on discussion forums, but since I posted these they should be safe to use. Brad | 2008-01-09 09:36:53 |
| 775 | 5235 | Has any women here tried them? I heard they are supposed to help increase your libido and make you more wet and excited | 2007-12-30 18:42:05 |
| 775 | 5236 | Hi, The web page linked to below describes this product. www.biovea.net/product_detail.asp?PID=1559 While they mention medical testing you will note that this product hasn't actually been medically tested or proven to work. The ingredients may increase sexual arousal, but not necessarily their product. The following is the standard disclaimer I provide the arousal enhancers that I sell: "Please note that arousal enhancers are not under FDA control nor are they scientifically proven to work. No substance has been proven to work reliably to increase female sexual arousal. They may or may not work for you." No herbal supplement or medication has been found to reliably increase female sexual satisfaction, as there are so many different causes for sexual dissatisfaction. Many of these products are over priced and just a way for some to get rich at the expense of others. :X Brad | 2007-12-30 22:40:40 |