Old Discussion Forum - From 2005 to 2009
Female Sexuality - 2007 Topics: Part 1 of 2
| Topic ID | Post ID | Post Text | Date & Time |
| 519 | 3466 | The closest I have ever gotten to orgasm or anything feeling good is when I read erotic stories. I am a 17 year old girl who is very open and comfortable about sexuality, my religion is paganism which embraces sexuality, so I know that is not the problem. I have "played around" with my clit and all but really, I honestly feel nothing. Maybe I'm not getting the right place? I'm so confused. I've heard that anxiety medicine, which I am on has some sexual side effects, but of course, thats all you're told, you're never told WHAT the side effects are. Could that be the problem? If it is that would suck. I've looked on this site, at the shared techniques, but its nothing I havent tried before... please help... I'm so confused, and I really need some sexual release.... | 2007-01-01 22:07:44 |
| 519 | 3467 | Yes, some anxiety and depression meds can inhibit libido, but it could be other things as well. First of all, let me tell you right out (and others here will say the same thing) that orgasm is not the only aspect of sex.& A lot of people, particularly women, have trouble achieving orgasm when they focus too much on having one.& The reason being that the more you focus on orgasm, the more you get distracted from everything else... then the lack of orgasm frustrates you and makes it even harder to achieve. After that, keep in mind that sexual pleasure (for most people) requires both physical and mental stimulation.& If you aren't in the right state of mind, you can play with yourself until the cows come home and you won't get anywhere.& Likewise, for the great majority of people, being horny isn't enough to orgasm Seeing as how you're still pretty young, it could just be a matter of inexperience.& I don't know how long you've been trying to have an orgasm, but you do need to give yourself time to learn what you're doing.& Mentally you need to give yourself time to find what really turns you on.& & You don't seem to have many hangups, so you should be able to let yourself explore all aspects of your sexuality.& Fantasy doesn't work for everyone, but its a good place to start.& Reading erotica works, as do sex scenes in movies.& Porn is the obvious option, but its technically illegal for you since you are 17. Erotica seems to work best for you, so I would go with that.& Likewise, physically you need to learn how to touch yourself.& The clit is the obvious spot, but your body has a lot of other erogenous zones, each of which can be stimulated numerous ways.& Some women like to start at other spots and move to the clit, others like to touch multiple spots at the same time, and still others don't even touch their clit when they masturbate. Just be open minded when exploring your body and sexuality.& And be patient.& Keep trying different stuff until you find something that feels good physically or turns you on mentally.& Once you find some stuff that works for you, try smaller variations on those activities until you find something that feels even better.& Keep experimenting until you find stuff that works better and better for you.& Just take it one step at a time and don't try to rush to the finish.& Remember, before you walk you have to crawl. | 2007-01-02 02:52:35 |
| 519 | 3469 | Going straight to the clit isn't the best idea either. You can excite the clit area a lot by focusing on other areas well away from it first...like breasts and then when you do go down to the clit, it will more likely be well and truly ready. If you have sensitive nipples, it's surprising how touching them can turn everything right on. I might focus on other areas for above half an hour before going anywhere near my genitals. The more you tease yourself and hold off from the jackpot, the more the tension increases and orgasm will become more likely. Too many people try to rush it along and it doesn't work. I had my first orgasm when I was 18 and that was by total accident. I never set out to have one and never really thought about having one. I was just sort of playing about at the time, doing things that felt good and just enjoying it for what it was. It happened literally seconds after I started touching the clit area but& I had spent a long time on other areas first which obviously worked in building the area up for it. It was also one of the first times I had touched between my legs when masturbating. it came as a little shock...a nice one...but it did take me by surprise and I just assumed it must be an orgasm. I'd heard people talk about them and read about them but never really knew what to expect and never thought about it before it happened. Also, I know this applies to me but my fingers don't really do much for me when massaging so I use other things like soft toys. I think my fingers are too smooth, I need a little bit of friction plus fingers get way too smooth and slimey& and are too small and proddy between the legs so something flatter and larger that doesn't press too much in one small area seems to work much better. Forget about orgasm for the time being, only masturbate when "You WANT to", and just do whatever feels good and strikes you at the time. I was a year older than you when I had my first orgasm and now I can have over 20 in one session and never settle for less than about 7& although I generally don't count, haha, I did a few times out of curiosity and and the three times I did,& I had& 21 the first time, 15 the second and 26 the third. If I try to stop after just one or two orgasms, the tension is unbearable, I feel like I'm going to explode.& I can have them so easy now, I use them to get to sleep even when I'm having trouble dropping off and& I don't even have to be horny before I start massaging anymore although it's more enjoyable overall if I am and spend longer on the build up. I'm 27 now so had 9 years of honing my skills. My body has gotten used to responding in this way and the more it does it, the easier it finds it. Maybe I'm just lucky in that sense although I certainly am not lucky in other aspects of sexuality. Roundabouts and swings, I suppose. If I can get like this when I was a year older than you when I had my first orgasm, I'm sure you can achieve something too if you just go easy on yourself and don't focus too much on orgasm. | 2007-01-02 11:17:54 |
| 519 | 3473 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Going straight to the clit isn't the best idea either. You can excite the clit area a lot by focusing on other areas well away from it first...like breasts and then when you do go down to the clit, it will more likely be well and truly ready. If you have sensitive nipples, it's surprising how touching them can turn everything right on. I might focus on other areas for above half an hour before going anywhere near my genitals. The more you tease yourself and hold off from the jackpot, the more the tension increases and orgasm will become more likely. Too many people try to rush it along and it doesn't work." Another little bit about this.& You often hear orgasm described as a release, an explosion, etc.& Sometimes you hear it described as the opening of floodgates, the bursting of a dam.& & They are all apt descriptions, not only because they describe the sensation, but because they imply the right circumstances for creating that sensation. Just like the bursting a dam, there has to be a build up in pressure first. A dam wont burst without water behind it.& You can't release something if there is nothing there to release.& So many people see orgasm as the purpose of sexual pleasure when in fact it's actually more like the result of sexual pleasure. If you forget about the orgasm and focus on increasing the sensation you get immediately from being touched you will start building up that sexual tension.& If you build up enough sexual tension, the orgasm will come around on its own. | 2007-01-02 13:29:51 |
| 520 | 3468 | 2007-01-02 08:54:05 | |
| 521 | 3485 | I doubt that every woman likes cunnilingus, but it seems like the vast majority do. So let me describe my situation. It might take a little bit to get out, so your patience is appreciated. I am a male in a long term relationship with a wonderful woman. We are both in our mid-twenties and have regular sex. Sadly, my girlfriend never orgasmed prior to our relationship and is not very sexually experienced with her own body. It is also sad for me to say that I may not have brought anyone else to orgasm before (inexperienced partner, inexperienced me). When we first started our sexual adventures she could only orgasm through g-spot stimulation. She didn't like me spending much time with her clitoris, as she felt it wasn't doing much. However, I gently insisted and asked to be given more time since neither of us were very experienced in orgasming through clitoral stimulation. After a few times of "warming up" with this we managed to have her get off - which is now her most intense form of orgasm. I can quite reguarly bring her to a long lasting, intense climax - so I think I'm pretty comfortable down there. The unfortunate side effect is that I am better at it than she is. I've asked my girlfriend to try masturbating (which she has no moral objections to) a bit so she could teach me a few thing, since she has the benefit of instant feedback when exploring what feels good. She was living a few states over for the last 4 months (I only got to visit once :( ), and tried twice. She told me it was very weak and made her miss me - very flattering and sweet, but it makes me sad that she pleasure herself. Anyways, I am very turned on by kissing my girlfriend between her legs but she is never very interested, and it never feels particularly good to her. I've tried five times or so and I've tried a variety of techniques. I feel like I know what's what from using my hand, but she doesn't enjoy it. I have heard that cunnilingus can bring women very orgasms, and I would really like that for her (I get the most excited about making her feel terrific). I kinda feel that I am doing something wrong or that it is a mental block on her part. I know that stimulating her clitoris can bring her to climax, but I can't seem to do it. We typically devote a lot of time to foreplay and just general arousal so I don't feel like it's not working because we're jumping right into it. Any advice? I would like to encourage her to try masturbating again but I'm going to wait a bit since I don't want to push her into anything. I've thought about getting her a toy but I think that would make masturbation even more awkward for her. I am asking for help because I don't want to ask for permission to try cunnilingus again without reason to think she has a chance of getting off. I feel like I had some more things to consider, but I can't remember them. I'm a bit amazed how exhausted I am from trying to detail the sexual history of our relationship. Thanks for your help. This is a terrific site and a terrific host of folks who contribute to the forum. | 2007-01-04 03:21:31 |
| 521 | 3513 | Notme, Sometimes while being down on a woman it can help to just take your time, and kiss and caress the parts slowly.& Then introduce the tongue and lightly lick and explore.& Sometimes even letting her hips do the action while you hold your tongue in place might also be of some help to her. If you really enjoy doing it to her communicate to her that you love performing oral sex on her.& If she declines, there really isn't much you can do because it is her decision what happens to her body, as well as what you decide happens to yours. Some women just don't understand that greatness of masturbating.& It might not just be her forte.& She probably tried it and it didn't work for her the first few times and preferred not to continue on.& Maybe if you feel it would help her out, suggest her to come to thesexualgoddess.com, it might help her get to know that other women masturbate all over the world.& No matter what race, age, size, etc. Oh, and one more thing, you said your girlfriend doesn't particularly like it when you use your hand.& Have you tried using your ring finger to play with her clit?& Usually the pointer and middle finger are stronger and can be overpowering, and when using the ring finger, it provides a lighter touch. I've tried it myself and it definitely has a different intensity.& I know that if my boyfriend ever uses his pointer or middle finger it is too much of an intense stimulation that it doesn't feel good.& You see, if I were to use my middle and pointer finger that would be a different story since I know my own limits.& Just try talking to her.. ask her to guide your fingers. Communication, communication, communication.& It's so important, but yet, some people tend to leave it out. | 2007-01-05 20:04:31 |
| 521 | 3520 | Hi, thanks for the advice. I've tried what you suggest but she is often just kinda bored. I'm told it feels nice but not particularly good. Sorry, I miss led you with the statement about me using my hand. She enjoys that very much and I can bring her to multiple sustained orgasms with it. What I meant was that I know my way around her parts, due to my experience using my hand, so that's not the problem. Thanks for the advice, I'd love to hear any more you or others have. | 2007-01-09 02:50:26 |
| 521 | 3522 | Obviously not every woman enjoys oral sex, just as not everybody enjoys any one thing regardless of the topic.& Lots of women are self conscious and as a result can't relax enough to enjoy it, others may be built to respond to other kinds of stimulation, and still others may simply not enjoy sex at all for a variety of reasons. The clitoris is simply the generally prefered erotic zone for most women, not a magic "I win" button you can push and automatically make any woman orgasm.& If she gets off just fine with g spot stimulation then you have nothing to worry about. | 2007-01-09 13:43:34 |
| 521 | 3773 | If a man knows what he is doing and doing it right. belive me she will be begging for more. even if she did not like it at first.=* | 2007-02-27 23:48:05 |
| 521 | 3785 | Isn't that like same thing for a guy getting head? | 2007-02-28 18:54:12 |
| 521 | 3787 | Hi, For some women the tongue is too slippery and as a result there isn't enough friction for them to be stimulated. If a woman has a hooded clitoral glans that will not come out to play that also can be a problem. Sometimes a woman has to reach down and retract her clitoral hood so her partner can stimulate her clitoral glans. No sexual technique works for 100% of women. Brad | 2007-02-28 20:13:03 |
| 523 | 3504 | 2007-01-05 09:08:56 | |
| 523 | 3507 | Masturbation will help you become more intimately knowledgable about your own body and making it easier for you to orgasm.& Of course if you masturbate immediately before making love you probably won't have as intense of an orgasm, but masturbating in general won't diminish your orgasms.& What generally makes an orgasm most intense is how much sexual tension you have built up before it happens, and when making love you can do that by extensive foreplay... getting yourself to the brink of orgasm but not letting it happen immediately. I don't know how much time you get to spend with your lover when you do see him.& If you get to spend several hours, but infrequently, then masturbate to your heart's content.& However, if you only see him for brief periods infrequently, then I would at least forego masturbation for a while before you know you are going to see him.& The anticipation of your meeting will naturally build up that excitement if you don't have the time for the foreplay. | 2007-01-05 13:54:49 |
| 523 | 3508 | Orgasms are like keep fit. The more you do them, the better you body will get at them. I can have orgasms that are just as intense 24 hours or less after having previous ones. Leaving a length of time inbetween doesn't seem to make any difference to me. I say keep masturbating because it is all honing you body into the idea of orgasm. The more it has, the easier it can have them. | 2007-01-05 16:23:17 |
| 523 | 3519 | 2007-01-07 20:50:05 | |
| 525 | 3523 | Is it weird for a girl to be able to reach orgasm by fantasy alone?& I'm seventeen, and every time I've ever masturbated I have never touched my body& in any way to stimulate myself.& I just fantasize, and I orgasm.& Is this odd? | 2007-01-09 21:36:17 |
| 525 | 3524 | its rare but not unheard of.& I have known a couple girls who claimed to be able to do the same. | 2007-01-10 00:36:11 |
| 525 | 3578 | Hi, My partner has really amazing orgasms, not by touching herself, but by laying on her side and 'pumping' her clitoris .... I have started a new thread 'Female masturbation non clitoral ', can you have a read and see if it is something like what you can do...? Thanks, | 2007-01-21 04:26:11 |
| 525 | 6190 | I can orgasm without touching myself at all.& When I'm standing in the kitchen cooking or doing anything boring, I can have a sexy fantasy and my clit gets engorged.& I can feel the blood pounding down into my pussy.& And then I keep thinking happy thoughts.& A minute later, I have to put down the knife and hold on to the counter while my clitoris throbs through orgasm!& No one can tell.& Absolutely no touching at all.& I think I am SO lucky!!!!!& It has to be a really good fantasy though. Also, if you count crossing your legs and squeezing your thighs together as "no hands" then I can cum that way without touching too! | 2008-11-02 16:14:32 |
| 526 | 3528 | I ignored all advice regarding Kegels.& My first of 2 children was born 11 years ago.& Now I am finally& motivated to get my (inner) self in shape.& I know like with all exercise, results will take time.& Any idea how long before results are noticed/felt?& Any suggestions?& Thanks. | 2007-01-12 10:14:21 |
| 526 | 3531 | Hello there, it's a good thing you decided to do Kegels!& You'll feel a difference in everything you do, really.& Toning that area just makes you feel more alive and healthy, and helps with common problems (hernia, bowel movements, hemmorhoids...quite a lot)!& It also (so I've heard from my girlfriend) makes sex feel way better. I'm not sure how different it would be for males than females, but as a male I felt a difference within about two months.& I'd suspect that it would be easier for women to tone the area than men simply because that area for women is already more muscular. | 2007-01-12 16:39:23 |
| 526 | 3540 | what are kegels? | 2007-01-14 07:13:46 |
| 526 | 3541 | kegels are exercises to strengthen the PC (pubococcygeus) muscles in the groin.& They are the bunch of muscles that surround the vagina, urethra, etc in women (men also have this muscle, but kegels are primarily directed at women). these are the muscles that pulse and contract when women orgasm.& strengthening the muscles is supposed to increase the intensity of sexual sensations (most specifically orgasm) and also create a tighter penetration experience for a man. these muscles are also the muscles involved in restricting urine flow, so most instructions for kegels steer towards that example.& they generally involve flexing your muscles as if you were trying to stop peeing and holding them flexed for some period of time (20-30 seconds or so).& rince and repeat.& there is probably a more detailed section explaining these on the main site. | 2007-01-14 07:37:43 |
| 528 | 3532 | jee ... i managed to delete my post befor sending it! well, i will try again. i'm kind of shy durig sex. it is pretty hard for me to relaxe. so often the nice feelings i get by touching my body, cressing my vulva, massaging the inside of my vagina (warmth, wetness, sligt feeling of faint), plop to overstimulation, rawness and i go dry. it's not that i'm to rought during mastrubation, it's more like i loose track, i do not mentally focus, get stuck in some irrelevant thoughts and the feeling is gone... i think it is quite a mental blockade in dealing with. at some point during intecourse with my partner, i just want him inside me, want to be filled up. unfortunalely i do not communicate verbally ( just can't). do not tell him to keep cressing my clitoris during penetration. so ususally because of stopped clitoris stimulation i'm left without the possability to transfer those feeling deep inseide me and orgasme. clitorial stimulation results for me in some kind of orgasm but never the same feeling like with a penis or fingers inside me. during foreplay i get often totally aroused, can communicate nonverbally by taking his his hands to the sensual places or sometimes ( not verry often) cressing myself where it feels good. but no way, can't& use words.... i think it would help me a lot if i would allow myself to comment how i fell when he touches me, it would help my fokus. does anybody else have trouble talking while having sex, is it to anybody of you emarassing? i think it is to me. Do any of you girls sometimes drift mentally of during the precieus moments and think " poor guy, it takes me so long to come... he must get tired, bored" do any of you males have expirience with " jee she sure has a lot of fun but she is not comming, it keeps going forever... ? well english is not my native language, i'm do not know the spelling and grammar. i can live with it , can you? | 2007-01-12 18:15:04 |
| 528 | 3533 | Me and my girlfriend communicate constantly during sex.& Unless of course, we have a passion fit... in that case words are usually replaced by loud sound effects. :P Anywho, I think it's important to not be embarassed with your partner.& You're giving yourself completely to this person, so why should you be afraid to tell them what you need/want? And to your last question for the guys... heck no!& I never get bored during sex, even if neither of us orgasm, it's fine really.& It never gets tiring or boring for me, it's always so nice to just be intimate.& I wouldn't know about other guys, but this is my experience.& & If you're thinking the entire time about making your partner bored or tired, I highly doubt that you can orgasm.& If you aren't mentally turned on and ready to orgasm, I really don't think you will.& It's more a mental thing than physical, I think. Also, what is your native language, if you don't mind me asking?& Certain cultures seem to pressure girls to be more submissive or embarassed about themselves, sexually speaking.& | 2007-01-12 18:25:28 |
| 528 | 3535 | i do not think my cultural background keeps me from freely expresseing myself sexually with words, more likely my personal background does it. i agree :D there is no real need to be embarassed - but i am anyway... how rational.... i can orgasme with my partner, but not as often as i would like, and it feels like work quite a bit. i pretty much allways orgasme while mastrubating , feels less like work... so howewer i'm on the way to get talkative, since it bothers me a lot that im not . usually i solve problems by facing them. i& recently chose to have a yoni massage given to my by a girl. i decided to have this adventure so i would see if i'm able to let totally go, and only fokus on myself. what an expirence, jee my feet, hands, ears are linked to my lap. what a feeling. certainly it helped my relax, to know that i can be totally passive if i want. did not feel like work at all! i get to think my love and i fokus to much on our genitals... | 2007-01-12 19:04:40 |
| 528 | 3536 | Oh, I completely agree with the last part!& You don't have to make the genitals the main point of intimacy, and you really shouldn't all the time.& The entire body can be an errogenous zone, so you two shouldn't limit yourselves! I shouldn't pry, I suppose, but does your boyfriend know that you had this massage?& Even if it *is* with another woman, I'd like to know if my girlfriend was being sexual with anyone else... You shouldn't think of sex as being "work" really.& If you orgasm, it can be nice, but the entire act should be viewed as great, simply from the intimacy.& Also, if you don't "work" to have an orgasm, I think you'd have more of them. :P You referring to the area as "yoni" made me think that maybe you are a Hindu?& Do you explore the Tantra side of Hinduism?& I may be way off with all of this, but if any of that applies, I have a great Tantra site that explains how to become more free and healthy during sex.& It might help you and your boyfriend be less embarassed and more carefree concerning sexuality.& It certainly helped me! Either way, I wish you luck! | 2007-01-12 19:19:44 |
| 528 | 3538 | kundalini, hey no, i did not tell him about the massage, your question made me realize that i did not give a thought about it. it is clear to me ,he will be all right with it. You know this tantra& yoni& massage was given to my as a ritual, by a woman i never met before, it my opinion it was not primarily sexual it was arousing and very sensual anyway i could go one writing how it was... i"m out exploring, what made my "go out" was not being satisfied with the sex i permit myself to have, looking for ways to find confidence in my body again and overcome my shyness and learn TO TALK ABOUT THIS THINGS kundalini& thanks ! you made me realize the best would be to start talking-practice by telling him what i experienced& (hope i have the guts.....) no& i'n not hindu.& i'm european. learning more about how to feel free during sex is my topic so a tantra site would be great, i'm open to almost everything. | 2007-01-13 04:50:58 |
| 528 | 3539 | sivasakti.com/articles/couple/sexual-continence-art25.html That's the site, try rooting around on there to find anything helpful to you.& There's a lot on it! Good luck to you! | 2007-01-13 10:23:43 |
| 529 | 3542 | how would i go about asking my girlfriend about things im intersted in an if she would want to try them and stuff:-/& for example i am interested in havin a bj an anal sex but am not sure hoiw to go bout askin her bout it | 2007-01-14 08:03:11 |
| 529 | 3547 | Ask her if such things interest her and if so if she would like to try it.& | 2007-01-14 17:57:39 |
| 529 | 3550 | just straight up go an ask her | 2007-01-15 16:57:49 |
| 529 | 3551 | how would i go about bringin it up | 2007-01-15 17:00:27 |
| 529 | 3553 | like the others have said, just ask her.& if you don't know when to ask her, you probably shouldn't be asking her. | 2007-01-15 18:13:57 |
| 529 | 3581 | would I just bring it up casualy in a conversation or would& I go up and ask her outa the blue,or would& I ask her during one of those intamite moments. I'm drawing blanks as to how& I would bring it up and when the right time is. im kinda new to the whole relationship thing shes my second girl friend and weve been goin out alot longer than me and my& ex weve been goin out for a lil over five months and are starting to explore each other weve had a couple chances and got pretty far and im interested such things but dont know how& I would bring it upn im confused and frustrated over the whole thing. | 2007-01-21 09:11:40 |
| 529 | 3582 | If you are this embarassed about asking her, I would reccommend not even being sexual with her in the first place.& I know you won't realy listen to that, but the person you're being intimate with is the person you give your entire self too; if you can't even talk about the subject with them, why would you be doing it with them? Now that that has been said, I could reccommend a few ideas you could try. If you're good with jokes, you can try to bring the ideas up in a humorous and non-sexual way, and judge what she thinks about them by her reaction.& On that same note, you could watch a show that might reference to either of those ideas and gauge her reaction there. I would talk about the ideas before you get intimate, because if you bring them up during a moment like that and she finds them disgusting you might ruin the whole experience for both of you... Also, how old are you if you don't mind me asking? | 2007-01-21 10:59:24 |
| 529 | 3590 | ok i finaly talked to her i just worked up the balls an asked her and she said she wouldn't mind tryin sumtin new thanx for the advice guys an galls | 2007-01-22 20:28:06 |
| 532 | 3569 | As a guy, I'm curious to what women want in a man - in terms of physical looks. I don't deny that I think women with great eyes and a nice body are beautiful. But personality is most important to me. Now I'm sure all of you know what men look for in a women. But what about what women want in a man? It might be less based on looks but what physical parts of a man do you value? For example, in television, mags, media, etc., a woman on woman scene is a lot more appealing than a man on man scene (like in American Pie 2). Is it unappealing for both sexes? Are men just plain disgusting? Society's idea of beauty is a woman. And I have to agree, I think a woman's body is God's gift to the world. But is there any way that women think men can be beautiful or are we simply sexually unappealing in every way in the looks department? | 2007-01-19 15:47:19 |
| 532 | 3570 | Due to everyone being different, you're least likely able to get the same exact answer from all of the women on this board. I personally was first attracted to my boyfriend because of his beautiful brown eyes, goatee, and short hair.& His face was just so cute, and still is!& I like my men on a heavier side, something I can cuddle up to and not feel uncomfortable, like a teddy bear. :) My boyfriend does have a great personality, and I got to know his personality once I got to know him. I also, love to look at the female body.& It's beautiful.& The male body is different hence a different beautiness.& People tell me I'm weird because I think the male body is gorgeous, but I love the big shoulders and the strength that comes from the male body. Girl-on-girl action is only nice if it's actually real, as opposed to the fake stuff that goes on in porno.& I do like guy-on-guy action.& I think it's sexy. | 2007-01-19 15:57:14 |
| 532 | 3729 | I am very surprised there haven't been more responses to this topic, so here I am about to toss in my two cents. The first thing i thought when I met my boyfriend was "dear god he looks exactly like my perfect idea of a man"... so in reality all i have to do is describe him. I tend to gravitate towards the lean. bulk and bravado mean absolutely nothing to me, there is something about a quiet physique that appeals greatly, i suppose because it makes certain things stand out. Mostly i just find a lot about him adorable. It's the body freckles, the curly mop of dark hair, the bright blue eyes and above all the way his smile lights up his face. Also the trail of hair that lies down his lower abdomen...that is by far and away the sexiest thing i can possibly describe. If i had to explain him in a single term, I suppose Lithe or Cat-like would be the most appropriate. It's that long stretch of muscle and the smooth taunt skin that does it. you say that beauty applies to women most prominently, but there are many occasions where i have referred to my boyfriend as "beautiful" and I definitely believe he is. I do not think of it as a sexually defined term nor do I think it should be. I could very easily spend a lifetime traveling his skin, and for the first two or three months we dated, that was a large part of my getting to know him, just trailing the edge of muscle and bone and definition from the shell of his ear to the intricacies of his knee. As ladybug said, i believe a lot of it has to do with security. I know he is strong and capable (he can bench press me after all) but his sensitivity is also part of that. what makes someone appear "safe" has to do with the individuals attraction and of course that will vary between women. The best way i can find to describe it in my case is to say that when I am in his arms, i feel like I am "home". Also, i find nothing unappealing about guy-on-guy action. Again, to quote Ladybug, it can be very sexy. & oh, i miss him now! great topic! -Bird | 2007-02-22 02:15:47 |
| 532 | 3731 | I agree with you Bird! I thought more would have responded. Oh well. :) I still stand behind my previous answer. I miss my sexy man back at home.& :( | 2007-02-22 15:13:48 |
| 532 | 3739 | These responses help a lot. I've just been confused by what women really want. My ideal partner would be a girl who's not afraid of expressing her sexuality (I don't mean excessively) and who's independent, not someone who lets society dictate her behavior. For as long as I remember, I noticed how surveys and questions regarding these types of questions are constantly wrong compared to observations I made in real life. This site's survey results look about right though. With society's shackling of women, it doesn't just hurt the woman, but the guy as well. Over my life, I'm actually beginning to think it's a 'scam' created by men to make women submissive in regards to men's own insecurities. Just see how women are insecure about body image these days. If it was the other way around, men would also be insecure about their body image (which is already happening), something men try to prevent. I'm for one tired of the lies, double standards, and BS. It's the reason why men and women have conflicts getting along. We're more similar to each other than we can imagine. Now just to add another question to this topic among the first one: What would you look for in a woman? I would say I would look at a woman's eyes. It's the first thing I notice about her and it can tell a lot about her. I'm almost an expert at reading eyes, and wow, a woman's eyes are beautiful. Next I love the curve of the body but most of all just the body language. There's a sort of sophisticated style of movement that goes on that I just can't describe -- I'm sure the guys here would understand. I also look for compassion and that maternal affection. I don't mean overly though, nothing turns me off faster than an excessively emotional drama queen whose priorities are out of whack. I also want a woman who knows that to get respect, she has to give respect. Respect is the biggest factor to me. Both sexes think they can control each other in various ways, which leads to more conflict. But really a great appearance topped with a nice personality is what I want most. It just amplifies the whole beauty. When a woman has that spark of intellect and humor (so hard to find a woman with a good sense of humor, lol no offense), and just that confidence... it's damn sexy. Confidence and high self-esteem, the two things least found in women, especially in high school. I'm 17 so I see it a lot. The "once-in-a-lifetime" girl for me would have all those values. It would be damn hard to find but well worth the search. Well those are just my two cents, I left out the rated-R portions out :P Anyway, it would be great to see this topic continue, I want to see what women value in a man and what men value in women (which isn't as obvious as what society says). | 2007-02-24 10:03:13 |
| 532 | 3740 | What I look for in a man (if I were looking for a man, which I'm not): Eyes - both shape and colour should appeal to me Intellect/Smart & practical Sense of Humour/Someone who makes me laugh and who I can laugh with Conscious/Conscience Takes love and emotions seriously No 'chiselled bods' and no boney, thin frames. Taller than 5'8" I agreed with Ladybug when she said, " I do like guy-on-guy action.& I think it's sexy."& I also agree with her that a man should be on the meatier side, physically. What I would look for in a woman (if I were looking for a woman, which I'm not): I agree with a lot of the things Vik wrote on women.& If I were a man, I'd look for a woman who has similar qualities to the male qualities I described above, except I would not want her to be taller than 5'8."& [line] ***I believe compatibility and attraction are great when you can find them, wonderful if you can enjoy them, but even those two elements won't gaurantee a successful long-term& relationship.& & ;) | 2007-02-24 21:50:51 |
| 532 | 3750 | I like a guy who takes care of himself but isn't all vain and such. I prefer dark& hair but pearcing blue eyes do it for me. I don't like them too pumped up but don't like them bony and skinny either. I like an average build with some muscular definition but not too much. I do like them to be taller than me and they have to have a good sense of humour and be intelligent and no possessive jealous types, lol.& I would never cheat but some people treat their partners as adulterers even if they've never so much as glanced at anyone else. I wouldn't want a guy who was too clingy and he has to have his own interests and hobbies otherwise I find them boring. Guys who spend all their time playing on games consoles and getting drunk down the pub do NOT do it for me. I don't care what their hobbies are as long as it isn't spending their life on the XB360 or playstation. Excessive playing of games consoles is one thing that really bugs me. I'd like a guy who understood and got on well with women rather than the type who just takes the piss out of everything from PMS to the way women drive because they don't really understand them& and who respected and get on well with their mum, lol. Don't ask why, guys who respect their mum are just attractive for that reason. Obviously, not a total mummies boy though. I hate guys who think they are superior to women and think that women are intellectually inferior etc...I have met guys like that. Finally, I would like a guy that knows how to show affection and make you feel wanted but without being over the top. Not that I'll ever find a guy like this, haha!!!!:D | 2007-02-25 17:35:33 |
| 532 | 3754 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Not that I'll ever find a guy like this, haha!!!!:D" Aww! You never know! ;)& | 2007-02-25 21:02:22 |
| 532 | 3760 | Nah, I read an article that women search too much for the perfect man and, as he doesn't exist, they never find them, lol...saying they should set their sights a bit lower. I've never been popular with the opposite sex anyway. | 2007-02-26 19:07:51 |
| 532 | 3761 | Hi, I know of one woman who settled for her partner believing no one else would be interested in her. I am an idealist, but I suspect this happens more often than we would like to admit. Brad | 2007-02-26 20:41:24 |
| 532 | 3766 | I know it goes on a lot. The number of people I've seen settled with somebody who they deserve better than...in many respects. I don't think, with my issues, that I'd be able to cope in that type of situation...thats why I'm eternally single. | 2007-02-27 11:51:56 |
| 532 | 3767 | I don't think it's a matter of "settling for less" if you can look past the faults of someone you love, because hey, everyone has them. In the end, it doesn't matter if your mate is perfect, because you love them.& Love tends to be blind to it's targets slight imperfections.& If the fact that you can't find someone *perfect* keeps you single, it's with good reason. ;) | 2007-02-27 17:03:33 |
| 532 | 3771 | I think we must all come to moments where we believe we have found "perfection". Like Kundalini said, that is love. Perfection comes with faults I think, a human being could never, in my mind, be considered perfect without a little wear around the edges. Lack of faults is imperfect, not having them! And don't ever think that you won't stumble upon the man of your dreams! This adoration, like dreams, may be fleeting (people change of course) but I& believe that out there we do have a match floating around without our& being aware of it;& even if we only fit together for that brief second, or if you are lucky enough, a lifetime. My dearest partner, well I feel as if I created him with words. I couldn't have described him better if I had tried but he seems formed& as if plucked from every thought I ever had on what I feel is missing in me. This may not last forever, but my god is it ever a powerful thing to have now. And it's worth the possible heartbreak I am sure. Faith is an insanely powerful thing! Don't be afraid to cherish it. It doesn't have to govern your life, but it's a nice thing to keep in your back pocket. | 2007-02-27 23:40:12 |
| 532 | 3779 | No, I'm talking about people settling for somebody who literally does not deserve them. People who cheat or are too possessive and treat their partner like a prisoner because they are convinced they'll cheat on them...money grabbers, those who abuse their partners in any way etc..... Basically things that nobody should ever be expected to put up with in a relationship. I know that nobody is perfect and everyone has their flaws, myself included. There is more to my singleness than stuff like& this though. | 2007-02-28 08:56:26 |
| 532 | 3790 | alright, so i fell into the trap of nostalgia. My bad. (and goodness, do i ever seem to have an addiction to exclamation marks as of late.) possessiveness is a very scary thing. The most frightening aspect of which to me is that the person being blocked in often seems to end up craving this seclusion, as if it is some kind of validation. Or at least that's how it's been in the few cases I have seen. | 2007-03-01 03:42:10 |
| 532 | 3835 | Answering the original question... physically I strongly prefer lean and tall, and most of my boyfriends were lean and tall... but then that's just me, my bestfriend prefers short guys and has had a long list of lovers who were all exclusively short.& She's not short by the way. I find the male body very attractive ... my favorite part is the ass LOL It's just sooo nice.& I check guys asses alot :D and grab the one available at home quite often ;) As Jeff on "Coupling" claimed God said on the creation of the 'arse': "Behold yee angels for I have created the arse, for ages to come, man and woman shall grab hold and cry out my name" :D Amen! I's also a sucker for eyes and full hair. I think this is a tricky subject... I've known guys, who are not typically handsome, but somehow were very attractive to women. But then again, very few women stick with a guy only for looks.& One of the most attractive guys I've met (he had a perfect face/body) was so silly and annoying I couldn't stand him around for more than 5 minutes. | 2007-03-05 15:08:24 |
| 533 | 3577 | I have a 51yr old partner who just blows my mind with her masturbation techniques...& She masturbates by laying on her left side, in a semi fetal position. She crosses her legs and squezes and 'pumps' her clitoris with gentle pelvis thrusts. She clenches her buttocks, and keeps her hands by her head and often holds her breath for up to 30 odd seconds... says she feels like she is building up blood pressure around her clitoris and then in 1-2 minutes she lets it go and just groans and shakes in extreme pleasure. After an orgasm she is often breathless, and a bit sweaty, not from the physical effort... but from the sheer pleasure... Sometimes the orgasmic pleasure goes on for 20-30 seconds... She first did this when she was 15-16 and loved it so much she would masturbate up to 50 times a night... she was laughing and telling me how she use to masturbate, then desperately try to go to sleep but couldn't and would just keep doing it... until 3-4am..! Can anyone advise if this at all common... and could we discuss this with other woman who can do this... Thanks.... | 2007-01-21 04:20:47 |
| 533 | 3583 | Hi, Women relate the use of thigh pressure on the main website. This is the first I have heard of this specific technique and body position, but it doesn't surprise me in the least. Brad | 2007-01-21 12:55:18 |
| 533 | 3586 | Thanks, the website indicates only 2% of woman masturbate this way... (and how many of those can do it 50 times in one night..!).. Are there any more up to date statistics on female masturbation, as the web site data goes back to the 1970's (i.e. last century..!). She has said that she can also easily do the same thing, fully clothed, sitting down or standing on one foot, with the other foot just off the ground and slighlty crossing at& her ankles. She found this out when really stressed (and near boiling point) at an airport in Chile, when things were going terribly wrong. She could hardly speak and was close to tears from tension and stress, so she sat down, put herself in a 'happy place' and discreetly masturbated by crossing her legs and clenching her thighs.. (in public..). She said the tension relief was nothing short of stunning... and 10 minutes later she was in a much better head space and she was able to calmly resolve her travel issues. She was very discreet but on opening her eyes she does recall a gentleman in a chair opposite having a rather puzzled look on his face... Without wanting to sound too 'odd'... we have also done this when dancing at parties, when the lights are down and a slow romantic song comes on we hug. We stay still and sway with the music, I support her and she discreetly crosses her legs and gently masturbates, the only problem is her orgasm is often so intense she all but collapses. We currently do this when amongst other slow dancers, so no one notices (I think..!) ... We have dared ourselves to do it whilst being the only couple on the dance floor... with other people watching.. (but not realising..) if she collapses on orgasm I will just assist her back to her chair... | 2007-01-22 01:11:18 |
| 533 | 3587 | She also mentioned she has done it in Department Store changing rooms. Once she she was having a bad hair day and was generally pretty grumpy with the retail assistants. She took some clothes to try on, noticed herself semi-naked in the changing room mirrors, so she stood on one leg and had an intense masturbation. Including (she suspects in hindsight) a bit of a groaning... She said within 5 minutes her mood lightened she was her normal civil self. We laugh and think how much better stressful management or staff meetings might go if instead of a coffe break. everybody took a 15 minute 'wank' break...! | 2007-01-22 01:21:29 |
| 533 | 3588 | [user=1226]YumYum[/user] wrote" We laugh and think how much better stressful management or staff meetings might go if instead of a coffe break. everybody took a 15 minute 'wank' break...! " Meh, that'd only be a good idea for women. Guys just get depressed and tired after "wanking" as you put it, even if they hold in the actual ejaculation.& Why are women so lucky? :? Yeah this is off subject, I just felt like chiming in. | 2007-01-22 07:33:52 |
| 533 | 3589 | Ha ha... now getting back to the topic, are there updated female masturbation (by proportion of women who mastubate and by the technique used). The website refers to data from the 1970's and we all know how much social norms and idiosyncracies have changed... My partner feels she is 'normal'.. I rather think she is in a very small percentile both for technique, quantity and intensity of her orgasms... It is quite common for her to have 30+ orgasm's in 1-2 hours of sex play... of which about 20 are a yummy pussy tingle and about 10& knock her sox off... with several lasting 30+ seconds... Our other goal is for her to have 50 orgasms in one session, and we have tried to count a few times but we end up having so much fun we lose count... She has also said 2-3 times that she has had little yummy clitoral orgasms when I have been massaging her breasts, but not touching her pussy... Interestingly she has not had an orgasm by touching herself or using a vibrator on herself, although I can use both methods with her and she enjoys rapid and repeated orgasms... | 2007-01-22 19:34:55 |
| 533 | 6189 | One of the first ways I masturbated was by pumping my thighs just like her!& I still do that frequently.& If I have time and good porn material, I can orgasm like 5 to 20 times or just keep myself at plateau for hours, yes hours,& and then give myself a real throbber!!!& If she has time to give herself so many multiple orgasms, fine, but if she is neglecting other facets in her life then it could be a problem!!& | 2008-11-02 16:04:39 |
| 533 | 6211 | I can do it too I usually do it with my clothes on and I can orgasm in like 3 minutes I can do it while sitting or lying on my side I first did it when I was 5 or 6 I always thought there& was something wrong with me& I learned to do it with my hands but it's always quicker to just squeeze my thighs. | 2008-11-05 11:14:24 |
| 533 | 6218 | Lucy:& what do you think about when you squeeze like that?& What gets you to orgasm so fast? Do you wait until you're already close before you cross your legs and squeeze? Do you watch or read something sexy? That is so& hot you do it with clothes on, I do too!& You can do it anywhere and people really don't know!& I can't come in public but I can get to quite a high level of pleasure.& In private, of course, I do cum easily.& I would like to see videos of women doing this | 2008-11-06 13:27:28 |
| 533 | 6223 | [user=13678]Mysecret[/user] wrote: "Lucy:& what do you think about when you squeeze like that?& What gets you to orgasm so fast? Do you wait until you're already close before you cross your legs and squeeze? Do you watch or read something sexy? That is so& hot you do it with clothes on, I do too!& You can do it anywhere and people really don't know!& I can't come in public but I can get to quite a high level of pleasure.& In private, of course, I do cum easily.& I would like to see videos of women doing this " I usually do it while watching porn or thinking about some sexy stuff or while reading erotic on the internet I get turned on and I cross my legs and squeeze almost without thinking about doing it .I don't know why it's always faster or more intense .I once did it in class& it was pleasureble but I couldn't come.my sister used to catch me alot doing it when I was young she is 8 years older than me she always scowled at me when she caught me and I for a long time thaught I wasn't normal. I have this feeling that she never masterbated in her whole life . | 2008-11-06 15:22:00 |
| 533 | 6241 | [user=962]Kundalini[/user] wrote: "[user=1226]YumYum[/user] wrote" We laugh and think how much better stressful management or staff meetings might go if instead of a coffe break. everybody took a 15 minute 'wank' break...! " Meh, that'd only be a good idea for women. Guys just get depressed and tired after "wanking" as you put it, even if they hold in the actual ejaculation.& Why are women so lucky? :? Yeah this is off subject, I just felt like chiming in. " Speak for yourself :D.& I find that I'm able to focus on any given task extremely well after masturbating.& Doing it at work would be too strange to be worth the boost in productivity though. | 2008-11-08 02:19:50 |
| 533 | 6258 | I ask a question:& what if you ejaculate during orgasm when you perform this technique in public place?& | 2008-11-12 03:36:01 |
| 533 | 6259 | I don't orgasm using that technique but I do have a similar frequency of orgasms I can achieve depending on how long& I have to spend on it although I don't really count them because I'm too busy enjoying them. I've had them standing up before and I generally need something to hold onto as my legs tend to want to give way as well. Sometimes, after a session, it can make me really sleepy...often making me drop off back to sleep if I do it in bed after waking in the morning or I might use it to get to sleep at night when I'm finding it difficult otherwise. In the daytime, it doesn't seem to have this effect if I do it. My main issue is that when I'm clothed and such or if I have to redress into the same stuff I was wearing before I took it off and I'd already gotten wet before I did, it means my knickers are soaked from the lubrication produced and I hate that cold wet feeling and need a change of knickers. | 2008-11-13 12:47:20 |
| 534 | 3584 | Hi, I received the following email. Brad I actually have some questions. I feel very self conscious discussing sex as talking openly about it was not something that was encouraged while I was growing up. I find that we still exist in a very repressed society and this contributes to sexual inhibitions that limit positive sexual experiences. I was lead to this site through an assignment for a Human Sexuality class, and find this to be extremely enlightening. I have been masturbating since I was very young. I do remember experiencing orgasm while in my grandmother's bed, and she was nice enough not to berate me when she discovered me fast asleep with my pants around my ankles. I have not ventured past finger stimulation and occasional penetration with a finger or two, but after reading this site, I intend to explore many& more methods of masturbation not only with myself, but also with my fiance. I was reading many of the postings by others who talked about experiences with family members. One woman revealed that she is interested in approaching the "next level" with her twin sister and brother, with whom she regularily enjoys sexual acts. Because I grew up in a world where contact with family members (sexually) was strictly forbidden, I find this idea challenges my current ways of thinking. I am wondering how others feel about this? I would really appreciate some feedback. My intent is to broaden my own understanding; I am aware that my ways of thinking are very narrow, and so with my questions, I seek to widen my knowledge and gain some new insights. Anyone have any thoughts? | 2007-01-21 13:39:41 |
| 534 | 3625 | I believe that some form of sex play between siblings is not in the least unusual, we even have a term for sex play between children that everybody recognises. When we& talk about playing "Doctors and Nurses", we all recognise exactly what that means 99% of the time. Given that we spend more time with our siblings than any of our friends it might even be somewhat strange if our sexual curiousity hadn't at some time included them. Many would probably be unable to deny that the image created by seeing our teenage siblings in some form of undress during our own young teenage years would& later be used in some form& during masturbation. Personally, I lived in a house without locks even on the bathroom door. Seeing my mother or my sister naked in the bath was an everyday event for me, and certainly, my sister and I paid much more attention to each others developing bodies during puberty, and yes, I would use the image of what I& saw in bed at night.& During one particular Summer we even moved on to sharing our masturbation secrets, but thats something& many young teenagers do, even if strangely its normally with their own sex. For my sister and I, our little masturbation secret& was just something that happened over a couple of months during one hot Summer while we were exploring our sexuality, and has never been mentioned since. I'd be very surprised if I was the only one with a sibling sexual secret in this forum... | 2007-02-01 15:37:56 |
| 534 | 4636 | I'm a 40 year-old man and I found this website several years ago and find it very enlightening. My wife and I both read it. It has made us realize that women and men, boys and girls; every one of us are pretty much the same as far as sexual curiosity and the need for release. When I was 13 and my sister was 12, we slept in rooms across the hall from each other. One morning I awoke, she was still asleep. I called to her from the door to my room. She didn’t wake up as she was a pretty deep sleeper, and an occasional sleep-walker. I then went over to her to wake her so we could get breakfast and start the day. When I got close I noticed that she was nude. I became aroused instantly. Until recently, we had been seeing each other’s nude body since we were babies. It was normal. But now she had little breasts, a touch of pubic hair, and a vulva that looked like the pictures in the magazines. I sat on the bed and just looked at body. Then I touched her breasts, I kissed them, and even sucked one of her nipples. I felt really bad, like I was raping her, but I had to touch her pussy. I rubbed her for about half a minute, I sniffed my fingers (don't remember smelling anything), I licked them, left the room and masturbated. When I was finished, I went back, and without entering the room I called her and she woke up. The next night, when we were alone in the house, I told her that I had seen her nude in her bed the day before that I had touched her, and how I had left to jerk off. I asked her if she remembered anything or if she had faked at being asleep. She said no, but she was curious at the thought of having her nipples sucked and her pussy rubbed by someone else. Needless to say, we had an exciting evening showing each other how we masturbated; masturbating each other and even going down on each other. It was very exciting and clumsy and awkward all at once. Neither of us climaxed and we were left wondering what happened when other orgasms. We did this a few more times over that summer and I was finally able to show her one of my orgasms, though if she ever climaxed, I couldn't tell. When she saw it, she asked if I had ever tasted my semen; I lied and said no. Said it looked gross, that it looked like phlegm. We never had intercourse, and we eventually just stopped the sex play. Neither of us has ever mentioned any of this again, but I’m sure she remembers it just as well as I do. We both turned out to be well adjusted adults. We are both married, have children and lead normal sex lives with our spouses. Did it feel weird? Yes, it felt very wrong, but the excitement of the wrongness made it more attractive. The guilt probably got to me. Being the older one, and being the ‘man’, made it worse. I was supposed to protect my sister, not desire her. Finding this site made me aware of how normal we were. | 2007-08-11 22:36:37 |
| 534 | 4663 | This forum is open to the discussion of all aspects of human sexuality, but personal attacks and the like are not permitted, and you risk being banned if you partake. We should keep our comments as fact based as possible without judging others. If you don't approve of a subject matter it is best to ignore it and it will quickly go away. There is a lot of negative energy directed at this subject, but despite this, siblings still explore their bodies and sexuality, as at a young age they simply don't "know" any different, they are simply curious, especially about what is hidden from them. In the beginning it is simply wanting to know about how their bodies are made, but during puberty and later, sexual desires and emotional needs may play a part. This has been a fact of life since the dawn of time and will likely continue to be true until the end of time. Just because something is illegal doesn't& stop it from happening, whether it is incest, sexual abuse, rape, etc.& Where do we draw the line at what it is acceptable to discuss? In the past, it was inappropriate to discuss rape and sexual abuse. Based on a survey on the website 4% of teens/women say they have engaged in a consensual sexual activity with a brother. This number corresponds to another published record. 4% sounds like a small number, but in reality that means 1 out of 25 girls/women have done so. I believe, especially based on what I observed as a child, that if you included siblings who engaged in show and tell, doctor, and house, the percentage is much greater. While these aren't overtly sexual activities, they do play a part in a person's overall sexual development. They certainly play a roll in the amount of guilt adults feel about their childhood experiences and their sexuality. In the absence of direct physical or emotional harm guilt does cause emotional harm. I believe, far too much guilt is attached to our sexuality in most modern societies. Brad | 2007-08-12 16:38:38 |
| 534 | 4664 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, I received the following email. Brad (edited by Drew) I was reading many of the postings by others who talked about experiences with family members. One woman revealed that she is interested in approaching the "next level" with her twin sister and brother, with whom she regularily enjoys sexual acts. Because I grew up in a world where contact with family members (sexually) was strictly forbidden, I find this idea challenges my current ways of thinking. I am wondering how others feel about this? I would really appreciate some feedback. My intent is to broaden my own understanding; I am aware that my ways of thinking are very narrow, and so with my questions, I seek to widen my knowledge and gain some new insights. Anyone have any thoughts?" [user=2247]DeutschesMaedchen[/user] wrote: " (edited by Drew) I cannot accept siblings having sex though. Same as I will never accept Pedophilia, wars, rape, racism, weapons, etc." DM, I'm not here to defend what happened almost 30 years ago between my sister and my self, and I don’t take offence at your point of view nor do I want to change how you feel. My initial posting was to give Anonymous some insight to her question posted by Brad at the top of the page, who states that she: "grew up in a world where contact with family members (sexually) was strictly forbidden, (she) finds this idea challenges (her) current ways of thinking." and whose "intent is to broaden (her) own understanding; (she) is aware that (her) ways of thinking are very narrow, and so with (her) questions, (she) seeks to widen (her) knowledge and gain some new insights." My wife suffered traumatic events in her life and acted out in her young adulthood. At one point in her life she believed that she was lesbian because between the ages 11 and 13 she and a female cousin of hers engaged in sexual play. To ease her fears I told her of the events between my sister and me. I also told her of a time that a male cousin and I engaged in some examining and touching of each other's genitals when I was eleven. It wasn't gay, nor did it make me gay, it was curiosity. Yes, siblings and family members are not supposed to engage in sex, but it wasn't sex. It was sex play, a dress rehearsal if you will. You may not see a difference or feel that it’s just an argument of semantics, but we cannot judge the child that I was in the 1970s and 80s by the standards of an adult. Tiger cubs play at hunting with their siblings. If we were to measure them with the same moral yard-stick, the argument could be made that it’s wrong to pretend to kill you own siblings as if they were food. My sister and I, nor my cousin and I, or for that matter my wife and her cousin no longer engage in such activity. But the point is no matter how 'wrong' it feels to the logical adult, it is actually quite normal for the child. As a parent, my job is to educate and guide my daughter into adulthood. I know she is a sexual person; she has been one since she was born; we all are. When you remove a baby's diaper, the first thing they do is touch their genitals. I don't know if she has engaged in any sex play, she's an only child, but she does have cousins and friends. I wouldn't be surprised if it has occurred. Just recently my wife told me that my daughter had gone to her grandfather and told him that she had seen him undress and saw his pee-pee. He got upset, but my wife and I just shrugged it off. What are you going to do? We live in a society where the genitals are always covered. There are scandals and million dollar fines because Janet Jackson’s breast was shown on television. We teach children about good touch and bad touch. We have created this mystery surrounding the genitals. When we get uptight about all things sexual we create curiosity, and when we punish that curiosity we create fear, guilt and dysfunction in adults. Should we judge those who seek to satisfy that curiosity? Should we punish them for being curious? What is the answer? All we can hope to do is discuss these issues, help each other get over our own hang-ups about sex and our bodies. I once heard someone say that as children we are told that sex is dirty, then as adults we are told to share this with the one person we most love. "How can we share something so dirty with someone we love?" she asked. It makes more sense to have sex with a stranger than with a loved one, using that logic. In the end, our own biology drives us to engage in sexual activity; to seek release. Hunger and thirst are instincts of self-preservation. The sex drive, though not essential for individual survival is a form of self-preservation since is leads us to procreate. | 2007-08-12 16:45:36 |
| 534 | 4665 | Well, I am still sorry. I wasn't here to insult, I have my reasons, and I definitley can understand where your wife is coming from. There are some things in life that are harder to deal with than others, I know your supposed to take it one day at a time. With anything, but some you'd prefer you could just shut a door on, take a key and lock it. It doesn't always work that way. I have my issues with accepting this, and I will always. I know little children start touching themselves, doing this and you should never tell them it's wrong. Sometimes it's hard though, lol. Even for me, I have a baby brother who is 9, and he started touching himself, I walked in on him and I didn't really know how to respond other than telling him that he shouldn't be doing this right now but later. Told it to my mother, lol, she explained that i reacted good and she'll talk to him with doing it in private. I dealt with it at work too, I had one little girl constantly try and touch me. I wore a tank top once, and she touched me on the boobs and stated "Are those your boobies?" I had no idea what to say there, because it's a strangers child. I stated yes, and pulled my shirt up. Like I stated before, I had a little girl rub herself against my legs when we were watching a movie, she loved sitting on my lap. Or another who humped her blanket trying to go to sleep, or the little boys who touched themselves. I know little kids do this, but I cannot believe a sibling doing this. I just can't accept it. A brother or a sister is someone you trust, not someone you do this with. They are people you can talk to when things get rough, who they are there for you, but not in this way. Like I said, I have my own issues with accepting this form. Anyway, I wasn't here to insult, lol, and I am sorry I was immature with Canis. You pushed a certain button, that I can't deal with. That's all. We all have our little things we cannot deal with, mine is this. I needed to edit this, it sounded like I took of my shirt in front of the kids. I didn't. The house was a daycare home, the living room, well one of them was their playroom. They had a huge circle desk and when i bended over, she'd do that. Or she pulled up my shirt once and asked if she could touch my stomach. She was very, what's the word for it..interested? I can only think of German right now, lol. She wanted to learn. | 2007-08-12 16:57:55 |
| 534 | 4666 | Very well said. I have come to realise a lot of what you've said over the years which is what changed my attitude to things like sibling sex play...although I wasn't all too aware of it when I was younger and don't remember thinking about it or discussing it anywhere. My neice was found out teaching a friend how to touch her genitals and all the adults started to worry and fret over it. My neice was& 6 or 7 and the other girl was 4. The other girl went running to her mum to happily tell her about what she'd learnt....LOL. Well, I was worried for my neice as soon as I heard about it because I knew what messages would be conveyed across as a result. For starters, they were convinced she had to have been shown this herself by another child. I knew otherwise. Any child can figure these things out for themselves. After all, they have the parts required to do this. They did speak to her about it but, even though they didn't tell her off, she did get very upset. Damage done in my opinion. The wrong message put across anyway. They ended up blaming this older girl on the street for it. My neice said it was her who showed her the things& but I reckon she was fibbing under pressure. I& think she was being asked who'd shown her and she felt she needed to answer. The older girl was already in puberty, quite a bit older and she hadn't been anywhere private enough with my neice to do anything like that really. It may have happened but I still think my neice was just coming out with anything to please her parents. My neice only went outside the family because she had no siblings to do this with. she had two older brothers who were already in their teens at this time so she couldn't do it with them. Had she a brother or sister closer her own age, no doubt she'd have explored with them. Oops, DM and I posted together...my post was in response to Drews. | 2007-08-12 17:01:52 |
| 534 | 4668 | Some of the discord caused by the discussion of consensual incest revolves around the believe that acknowleding it means you are denying the exisitance of sexual abuse involving siblings and parents and children by doing so. In my opinion this is like saying you can't discuss adult sexuality because it denies the existance of rape. It seems, many always hold to the believe, and force it on others, that sex is always harmful, period. Canis Lupees: Based on current US laws, your 7 year old cousin could be labeled a sex offender for life and required to make her status and location known to the police, and as a result public. By our legal standards today, there is little in the way of innocent childhood sexual exploration. Brad | 2007-08-12 17:22:42 |
| 534 | 4669 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Some of the discord caused by the discussion of consensual incest revolves around the believe that acknowleding it means you are denying the exisitance of sexual abuse involving siblings and parents and children by doing so. In my opinion this is like saying you can't discuss adult sexuality because it denies the existance of rape. It seems, many always hold to the believe, and force it on others, that sex is always harmful, period. Canis Lupees: Based on current US laws, your 7 year old cousin could be labeled a sex offender for life and required to make her status and location known to the police, and as a result public. By our legal standards today, there is little in the way of innocent childhood sexual exploration. Brad " I don't believe there can be sexual abuse if, both..consented. It's not possible, sexual abuse is only when the other stated no and stayed at it. | 2007-08-12 17:40:11 |
| 534 | 4670 | Ah, she is my neice. She's now 10 years old and no longer plays with that particular girl....they fell out and the younger girls parents are trouble causers who have encouraged her and her older brother who's about a year younger than my neice to cause trouble with other kids, including my neice,& on the street. They even gave them eggs to throw at my brothers house, the father to my neice....they used to live next door to us.& As you can imagine, the family isn't very popular with other parents living close by. Instead of letting the kids have their squabbles and learn to& sort it out themselves, the parents get themselves all involved and have a go at other parents about their kids and, as we all know, the kids are all as bad as each other but theirs are worse now they know their parents will go backing them up and believing their lies etc...This has nothing to do with the episode between my neice and their daughter mind....it just came about as a result of them failing to let kids be kids and sort out their own squabbles. I can tell how ridiculous you think that law is and I agree. Labelling a 7 year old as a sex offender just for being curious. Her 4 year old friend didn't have anything said about it to her because they felt she was too young to understand but, from what I heard, she& seemed well impressed that she'd learnt it.:P I agree that our society labels children as completely non sexual. It's a shame that the bulk of the population firmly believes this because the few of us that understand things from a different point of view can have little effect and can only stand and watch all the problems that occur from that kind of standard. Still, saying all of this, our society still sexualizes children in other less disirable and certainly less natural& ways. For example, my neice has started pestering for a Bra. My mother told me. I insisted to my mother that she doesn't buy her one and she has nothing to put in one anyway. She also wants to wear tarty clothes and such. Quite ironic when you think about it. I was reading an article the other day& about some young girls as young as& 7 who were shaving their legs, wearing make-up, straightening their hair, having tanning sessions and wouldn't leave the house without doing themselves up and wearing revealing clothes& and their mothers were quite happily catering for them thinking there was nothing wrong with it. I wonder how they'd react if they found out their daughters were engaging in sex play with a sibling or a friend. Hmm, now that would be different. | 2007-08-12 17:40:41 |
| 534 | 4686 | I find the whole incest thing quite weird and in a lot of cases quite damaging. For me, I can't even picture myself enjoying a sex life with an adopted cousin. | 2007-08-14 22:52:44 |
| 534 | 4689 | A lot of these sex play things happen between children that have not yet developed the conditioning that makes them feel disgust towards doing things like this with siblings. This is what makes them different to adults and you can't judge them in the same way as adults because of this. As they get older, they do tend to stop and move onto other non related partners. As small children, they don't even view it as sex. To them, it is just a fun nosey pastime exploring what they and their sibling possesses and this is where they learn about their own body and those of others. Incest is different because thats like marrying a relation and having children to them etc....I don't believe that incest is very healthy at all and the creation of inbred children. Sex play between very young siblings isn't quite like that. I doubt that when you were& 3 years old, you had the same views about sex play with a sibling that you do now and would probably have indulged in it if you had a sibling close in age who initiated something like that& for fun...you wouldn't have seen it as abnormal because you wouldn't have learnt all that stuff yet. When you get older, things definitely change in that respect. | 2007-08-15 07:46:16 |
| 534 | 4691 | I can see that between young siblings or young relatives. But someone had mentioned a girl on here who said she wanted to go to the next level with her twin and I assumed she was older. & Anyway, I can sort of see it between twins more because they already have that special bond that other siblings don't have. | 2007-08-15 09:39:57 |
| 534 | 4692 | Maybe if you've indulged in this from very young, it might not affect you in the same way when you're older as it would people who have never done it and grown up to see it as wrong etc... I couldn't recommend IC between relatives because of the risk of pregnancy, even if precautions are used it can still happen,& but if they are both willing parties, I wouldn't see anything else as a big issue even though I can't say I'd want to do it myself....saying that, I never got into doing this as a young child, that I remember,& with my siblings& so I can't know how I'd feel if I did. | 2007-08-15 09:49:53 |
| 534 | 4693 | Well my sisters are much older than me so it would've been rather illegal for them to do anything. Yes, I did see family members naked at times, while getting dressed to go somewhere or something. When I was a bit older I did have a& cousin who was about 2-3 years younger than me of the same gender who was a best friend. We never did anything but we sort of joked about same sex relations and hump our beds when we were pretending to have sex with boyfriends or whatever. We were close we used to have sleepovers all the time and up until she was 10 or 11 we felt okay with sleeping in the same bed, she was so skinny she could fit in the same twin bed as me. & I've just have grown up in such a sexually repressive household that I really haven't had any experiences despite my age:( | 2007-08-15 10:38:00 |
| 534 | 4695 | It's a touchy subject, but the gist of the issue is that there is only a small window of time in the sexual development of two children where incest is emotionally harmless.& Both children have to be in that age rage where they are becoming sexually curious, but they haven't yet assumed social roles that impose responsibility for one's actions and for the care of others. If one of the siblings is too young, either in terms of age difference or in terms of sexual development, it becomes harmful emotionally, even if the older sibling is in that "window" and has no ill intentions.& Likewise, if one of the siblings is too old (and the younger sibling is either in that window, or younger) the older sibling is abusing their role as an authority figure and can cause emotional distress.& If both siblings are above a certain age, there is a strong likelihood of mutual guilt and secrecy causing emotional harm. | 2007-08-15 14:00:55 |
| 534 | 4697 | Ah, I had one sister who was 18 months older than me so in a similar age range but the older two were too old to be doing stuff with me and, when I was young, I shared a bedroom with both the sisters and the brother, oldest, had his own room so my closest age sister and I didn't have the opportunities to be alone and do stuff like that without being likely seen by the older sister. Also, as we learnt not to touch ouselves at an early age from being told off if we did, we didn't really have a desire to be touching each other.& I certainly don't view that as being natural though. That conditioning lead to an aversion of my own vulva and also in my sister too because she has admitted to me that she doesn't like touching herself there because it feels horrible to the touch. I have learnt to get over that in my quest to cure vaginismus but I don't know whether my sister is able to touch her own vulva without feeling disgust. She doesn't have vag so she hasn't had a reason like myself to get over that aversion. I think where the siblings are older and the guilt feelings set in, they only set in because of the general view in society about this kind of subject and it can make them feel abnormal. If nobody was bothered, these feelings wouldn't arise because there would be nothing to feel guilty about. As for sexually repressed families. Well, I think most of us have to put up with that to a point and we are all affected by it in different ways. Many people don't realise how damaging this sexual repression thing is, they just believe it is the right thing to do and that children are not sexual and that they must be corrupt somehow if they have a desire to touch themselves or somebody else. Anybody who states otherwise would be looked at like they were a peadophile by the majority of people. It wasn't until reading the main part of this site that I realised a lot of things about children and sexual development. I must admit, it was an eye opener. One of the other women in the vag support group which is where I found this place mentioned that it was an eye opener. | 2007-08-15 14:42:28 |
| 534 | 4699 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "I think where the siblings are older and the guilt feelings set in, they only set in because of the general view in society about this kind of subject and it can make them feel abnormal. If nobody was bothered, these feelings wouldn't arise because there would be nothing to feel guilty about. " Well, there are legitimate medical reasons when it comes to reproduction for why incest is so horrible frowned upon.& Emotionally, sibling incest has less potential for harm, particularly in close-age siblings, because there isn't the authority/trust role coming into conflict like it almost always does with a parent. | 2007-08-15 15:18:05 |
| 534 | 4701 | Yes, incest is frowned upon& because it of the implications of it and I don't agree with incest myself. I don't even agree with the line breeding of other animals that often goes on to create offspring of even type...in other words, a bunch of clones. It can't do anything any favours and mother nature does all she can to avoid this...and for good reason. Still, sibling sex play isn't incest and generally doesn't result in it but the problem is that people connect them and automatically think that sibling sex play will result in incest same as they assume a child must be corrupt and know about sex in order to have a desire to touch their genitals or those of others. Still,& as with my neice, it isn't just about doing it with siblings. If a child touches themselves or has sex play with a non related friend even of a similar age, that disturbes people just as much...like it did members of my family and the other girls parents after that episode with my neice and her friend. | 2007-08-15 16:26:44 |
| 534 | 4704 | sibling sex play is incest by definition.& it is innocent and harmless within the window I described, but it is still incest.& the problem is when it doesn't stop in adulthood. | 2007-08-15 17:10:08 |
| 534 | 4705 | Still, many children do it secretly and their parents never even know about it so even if everyone decided it was totally& wrong, there wouldn't really be anyway to stop it from happening completely without causing even more damage to children than what sibling sex play could possibly cause. I think the reason most people frown upon incest is for the& breeding of inbreds issue or it most likely stems from that. I think when most young& people learn about these issues, it contributes to them ceasing the behaviour with their siblings if they did it& and moving onto others but in many cases, I think this may happen naturally anyhow once they've found other sexual partners and no longer need each other for this type of thing....plus, once the whole thing changes from simple curious fumbling about and the child learns about sex and gets to puberty and starts to experience arousal and a need for arousal in order to enjoy such acts, then they are, again, more likely to move away from siblings because they aren't as likely to provide that arousal. I suppose there are exceptions but problems can stem from pretty much anything anyway including things that are viewed as totally acceptable so whats the difference? To avoid all problems we'd have to stop or disagree with pretty much everything. BTW, in my dictionary it says that incest is sexual intercourse between two closely related people. That would& mean that if they don't have intercourse then it isn't incest. Of course, different sources might have their own view on the exact& definition but then you have to ask yourself which is right and which is wrong. & | 2007-08-15 17:37:36 |
| 534 | 4708 | My sources say "sexual relations". Sure, bad things can happen from just about any kind of encounter, but the rate of birth defects in the offspring of closely related individuals is significantly higher than between non-related individuals.& There's that saying about the stagnant gene pool, after all. I would not try to discourage it among children in a certain age range.& In those stages of development, it is probably the safest form of exploration.& However, there is still a point in ones sexual development where, barring sterility, incest should not continue. I have no innate moral objection to it when there is no abuse taking place.& My primary concern involves reproductive issues. | 2007-08-15 18:17:18 |
| 534 | 4736 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "Well, there are legitimate medical reasons when it comes to reproduction for why incest is so horrible frowned upon.& Emotionally, sibling incest has less potential for harm, particularly in close-age siblings, because there isn't the authority/trust role coming into conflict like it almost always does with a parent. " I believe birth defects are slightly more common in pregnancies resulting from incest because there is a greater likelihood that both parents have a recessive gene. In the absence of recessive genes I don't believe there is a greater likelihood of birth defects. Jealousy is likely more of a problem, I believe, if other family members know. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominance_relationship#Recessive_allele A quirky movie featuring a highly dysfunctional family, or should I say normal family, and bother/sister incest is The Hotel New Hampshire with several popular actresses. Rob Lowe and Jodie Foster's characters are bother and sister who obviously have a sexual attraction for one another, but don't actually have sex until they are adults. If you like offbeat movies you might like it. www.imdb.com/title/tt0087428/ Brad | 2007-08-18 11:42:39 |
| 534 | 4737 | I don't remember the exact number, but it isn't slight.& A friend of mine works in a genetics lab and we had the discussion several years ago.& The risk is significant. | 2007-08-18 11:46:29 |
| 534 | 4738 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "sibling sex play is incest by definition.& it is innocent and harmless within the window I described, but it is still incest.& the problem is when it doesn't stop in adulthood. " I would argue it is incest only if you see it as sexual, and sex is an adult concept. If the participants have no concept of sex how can it be incest? We, as adults, often have distorted ideas of what sex is. We project our believes onto the children, and I argue, corrupt them in the process. We steal their innocence with our ideas rather than their actions. Brad | 2007-08-18 11:47:29 |
| 534 | 4739 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "I don't remember the exact number, but it isn't slight.& A friend of mine works in a genetics lab and we had the discussion several years ago.& The risk is significant. " There was a show on The Discovery Channel that said we all decended from a common mother millions of years ago. Genetically we are more closely linked than we probably realize. In small tribal societies, in which only a few hundred members have existed for generations, I would guess they have a lot of genetic inbreeding. And, yes there is reported to be a greater incidence of birth defects. The frequency of say red or blonde hair in a population may indicate how closely related they are. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitochondrial_Eve en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y-chromosomal_Adam Brad | 2007-08-18 11:58:07 |
| 534 | 4740 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "[user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "sibling sex play is incest by definition.& it is innocent and harmless within the window I described, but it is still incest.& the problem is when it doesn't stop in adulthood. " I would argue it is incest only if you see it as sexual, and sex is an adult concept. If the participants have no concept of sex how can it be incest? We, as adults, often have distorted ideas of what sex is. We project our believes onto the children, and I argue, corrupt them in the process. We steal their innocence with our ideas rather than their actions. Brad " Doesn't that merely mean we, as adults, have a narrow and locked view of sex?& You say that as adults, we have distorted ideas of what sex is, and then say that sex is an adult concept.& Is that not possibly distorted in itself?& The kind of sexuality being explored between children does not fit our adult, culturally reinforced notions about what sex is, but does that make it any less sexual?& Were it not for society in the first place, we would have no concept of adults, nor a rational concept of sex... it would be purely driven by instinct, the same as children exploring their own sexuality.& So yes, I think it is entirely sexual. | 2007-08-18 12:12:59 |
| 534 | 4742 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "[user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "[user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "sibling sex play is incest by definition.& it is innocent and harmless within the window I described, but it is still incest.& the problem is when it doesn't stop in adulthood. " I would argue it is incest only if you see it as sexual, and sex is an adult concept. If the participants have no concept of sex how can it be incest? We, as adults, often have distorted ideas of what sex is. We project our believes onto the children, and I argue, corrupt them in the process. We steal their innocence with our ideas rather than their actions. Brad " Doesn't that merely mean we, as adults, have a narrow and locked view of sex?& You say that as adults, we have distorted ideas of what sex is, and then say that sex is an adult concept.& Is that not possibly distorted in itself?& The kind of sexuality being explored between children does not fit our adult, culturally reinforced notions about what sex is, but does that make it any less sexual?& Were it not for society in the first place, we would have no concept of adults, nor a rational concept of sex... it would be purely driven by instinct, the same as children exploring their own sexuality.& So yes, I think it is entirely sexual. " But we cannot discuss their actions as adults without distorting in by our experiences or knowledge. I would argue we cannot label it at all, it simply is. Why must we label it as anything? Why can't they simply be having fun and educating themselves, without burdening them with our fears, believes, and expectations. One could argue the point at which it becomes sexual. Is show and tell sexual? At what point does the pleasure of the act become sexual pleasure? What if there is no sexual response or pleasure, just looking and touching? If they kiss, is that sexual? What if they hug? What if they enjoy it simply because they know the are being naughty? My view of sex is distorted by my expectations and believe and that is why I don't want to apply it to them. | 2007-08-18 12:28:42 |
| 534 | 4827 | I believe that incest is defined as "sexual intercourse between people who are too closely related to marry". Since not all sex play is intercourse, it follows that& not all sibling sex play is incest, doesn't it? | 2007-09-18 10:53:46 |
| 534 | 4828 | When I checked my dictionary for the exact definition of incest, it said the same as what you said but dfs3 said that the source he looked up simply said sexual relations between too closely related people....it didn't mention ic specifically. As different sources say different things, it's difficult to say for sure. | 2007-09-18 14:00:05 |
| 534 | 4829 | & As has been posted above, this is a delicate matter to many, and I do not wish to offend, but this was our experience: My twin sister and I were the middle of five children with an older brother, sister and, fourteen months younger, a brother. Mum and Dad had both been brought up in open families. Dad was a big man, physically powerful, but gentle, usually. Mum's twin sister was part of our family. We raised beef cattle, a few dairy cows, working dogs and horses so we children were accustomed to coitus, pregnancy, birth from an early age. We were rather isolated so, around the farm during the cooler months, all of us worked naked except for boots against the snakes, stones, hoofs. Dad expected Mum and Aunt to be available to him at any time, anywhere about the place so we saw, often, Dad take Mum and/or Aunt or a threesome across a fence rail, truck bed, table. We did not notice at the time but, thinking back, both women must have come to readiness quickly so must have enjoyed it all. Dad used 'French letters'. Certainly with my twin and me and, as far as I know, our brothers and sister, none of us thought of intercourse between us but there was frequent everything else. From posts above, this may have been incest or may not have been but we have never thought of it as such. I accept the thought of this life could be repugnant to some but all turned out well and we children remain very close. | 2007-09-19 09:15:36 |
| 534 | 4830 | I think that's my main problem with the whole idea that any sort of sexual activity between relatives is incest; the word has such negative connotations, but I think& the only things really wrong with it are the potential for abuse and the risk of a genetically defunct child. Both of these are major issues if your definition of incest is as specific as mine (i.e. strictly intercourse between relatives), but it is odd to put the same label on sexual activities that aren't abusive and have no risk of pregnancy. | 2007-09-19 10:25:17 |
| 536 | 3592 | Well Hey guys and gals, Yesterday My girlfriend and I were talking about sexaul things, and too cut to the chase, she said that she saw a girl eat another girl out on the TV, and she said that it turned her on. She and I are both new to sexaul things. The whole reason I'm here is because Id like a second opinion to what to make of this. My girlfriend deeply pushes and says that she does not want to do anything, or want anything done to here by another girl, and that whole idea does not turn her on. she claims that the only girl/girl interaction that turns her on is Oral sex. I'm not sure what to think, based off of what we've done, and what she says she doesnt sound like a lesbian at all, but just unsure of what she likes. It seems to me, she might she like the idea of pleasure, not Nesc. the girl on girl thing. She also likes to hear girls moan. She told me when she was younger 12/13/14 that girl's breasts turned her on, but she says that difenently not the case at all anymore. Which leads me to believe this is all hormones, or again the idea of pleasure. Is there anyone girl or guy who can elaborate with me and tell me what you think or if you experienced this, and if this is normal, I would Sincerely apperciate it! | 2007-01-23 16:27:04 |
| 536 | 3598 | Hi, This topic is addressed on the website: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/orientation.htm Brad | 2007-01-24 08:19:24 |
| 536 | 3600 | Sorry if I sound rude, but, that doesn't give me an answer honestly, no disrespect, I'm still about confused. | 2007-01-24 15:24:33 |
| 536 | 3601 | Hi, The article basically says other women experience the same and it doesn't necessarily mean anything at all. There is no black and white answer. Brad | 2007-01-25 12:30:33 |
| 536 | 3602 | Hey thanks | 2007-01-25 15:29:58 |
| 536 | 3613 | Brad is right. :) I personally like to watch girl/girl action pornos, and I'm not homosexual.& It's all in a preference. I have fantasized about women before, but I wouldn't do anything else with a girl other than a kiss, which I have done already because I was curious. I do recall when I was about 12-14, I was questioning my sexuality.& I think many people worldwide do, it's natural to feel such things.& | 2007-01-29 17:40:24 |
| 536 | 3614 | Hey, my girlfriend used to take it a step farther even; she dated other girls!& She thought she was Bisexual for awhile (though I still think that bisexuals are just kidding themselves...) but she seems to have woken out of that daze.& It annoyed me for awhile if she ever told me about her fantasies with other women, but I realize that it is is really common.& I know now that she is perfectly heterosexual, so I'm okay with that now. Think about it though, women are the fairer sex in basically every aspect.& They are beautiful (generally speaking), while guys are not (also generally speaking).& I can see perfectly well why a girl would be turned on by girl on girl action.& I personally don't find any sort of homosexual behavior attractive, but to each their own; and if I was going to choose a homosexual porno it would definently be girl on girl. Er, anyway.& If your girlfriend is turned on by that sort of thing, let her fantasize, try to bring yourself into her fantasies somehow.& Watch girl on girl porn with here to get you both hot!& Hey, the possibilites are endless, just try not to get down on her for how she fantasizes; it will not end well. ;) | 2007-01-29 19:01:21 |
| 536 | 3772 | Yes when i masterbate i watch girl on girl videos and imagine it is my clitoris being sucked or licked and this is a real turn on for me. I for one& find this type sexual thing is not for me. I am strickly dickly. I have a memory of a sleep over when i was about 13 and i was sleeping in the same bed with another girl. I woke up to find her sucking my nipple and she had my hand between her legs and she was very wet. I have fantasized about that, but that is as far as it went. I love to have sex with my male partner. I was scared that this experience was going to make me like the same sex. | 2007-02-27 23:41:51 |
| 538 | 3594 | Okay we were both virgins, but her hymen got broke during track. well we had sex and appearently it didn't hurt all that bad for her, just maybe a tiny bit where it would hurt bad, tiny tiny bit, every 5 mins or so. Is this kind of thing heard off? I mean, My penis I wouldnt consider it small ESP for my age, bieng about 5 - 5.5 when fully erect. I dont understand how it didnt hurt bad/ worse. She was tight, and she claims that it rubs up against her and forces her lips to spread open, but it didnt hurt almost at all. I thought to myself maybe because we played with it a lot, with my fingers before I put it in, and When it first went in, it was barely hard at all, and maybe was about 3 in or so. Is that the reason? or could there be another? | 2007-01-23 16:46:51 |
| 538 | 3596 | Y'know, if I didn't know any better, it would sound as if you wanted it to hurt for her...:P I kid, I kid (I hope). This thing isn't unheard of, at least within my scope of knowledge. You should be proud, really, you got your girlfriend so turned on that her natural lubrication made the act go almost without a hitch!& That and the fact that most of her hymen was destroyed as you said.& Probably moreso the latter, but hey, it's nice to feel proud of yourself sometimes! Now stop worrying and enjoy yourselves. ;) | 2007-01-23 17:14:50 |
| 538 | 3599 | Hi, This subject is addressed on the website: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_7/qa7_16.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=2705980243 Brad | 2007-01-24 08:25:04 |
| 541 | 3611 | my partner is asking& for me& to talk& dirty words or any kind for that matter please help me. & please please thank you. | 2007-01-28 19:46:11 |
| 541 | 3612 | if by any other kind, do you mean& words that aren't necessarily of a sexual nature? You sound really freaked out! There are many ways in which people become aroused, and for some that is through speech, or as you said, "being talked dirty to". However, I think verbalization during sex can cover much more territory than what is only sexual. Do you know which kind your partner is most interested in? If it is only communication that [he] is interested in, then I would say that from my opinion this is probably a good thing. Being able to talk about sex or during sex is& an important part of getting to know your partner in that kind of environment. & If he is more interested in being talked into arousal, then that is certainly not uncommon, but if it makes you very uncomfortable then you should probably tell him. If you two discuss it, and find a way to slowly work into the process, you might find it liberating! Chances are you feel awkward or nervous about it because you don't yet feel entirely comfortable in a sexual situation to begin with, and that is understandable. It's hard to jump into one pool without having fully tested the waters of another! i hope this is what your question is referring to! -bird | 2007-01-29 14:43:10 |
| 541 | 3733 | Tell him how big his cock is and that you like it deep inside your fat pussy. and tell him that you want him to fill you up with his love juices. describe how you are feeling while his big cock is deep inside. they like to hear how you are feeling. Talk in a soft and sexy and dirty kind of way. he will go wild. Tell him you want him to go deeper and deeper and you can not get enough of him. | 2007-02-23 01:49:32 |
| 541 | 3743 | I agree pinklady...tell him stuff like pound that pussy, stick it all the way in, cream in my pussy...guys want you tell tell them to shoot off deep& in your pussy | 2007-02-24 23:07:25 |
| 541 | 3763 | I just love the feel of sex - the feverish movements, the slippery sliding, love to nibble and lick and kiss everywhere while thrustin - nothing else seem to matter. Between fast& breathing and pushing and sweating, words just don't seem to matter to me. But I had a female friend who needed to be talked dirty to while we were doin it. We did it and that was a good fun too. I told her to fuck me deep and hard and grind on me while she was on top - she shivered and shuddered and came and came and flopped on me. It was good to hold her on top of me and lazily rub her back after our fuck. She dozed off on top of me !! | 2007-02-27 00:09:08 |
| 541 | 3769 | Never in our sex life had my boyfriend ever really talked dirty to me.& But let me tell you, there's a first for everything.& This past weekend, my boyfriend was going nuts, he came up from behind me, kissed my neck and whispered in my ear, "I want to do naughty things to you."& Oh boy did that send goosebumps all over.& It was such a turn-on. | 2007-02-27 19:30:37 |
| 541 | 3770 | funman>>>& i also get a turn on when my partner talks dirty to me. But my turn on is when he talks dirty to me during the day i think about it and then when we finally do it i am so into the heavy breathing and thrusting and shivering and then the final flop it is so exhilirating.:-X | 2007-02-27 23:18:01 |
| 541 | 3774 | Pink,& how long does your each session last? longer and deepr the better isnt it? :P Ladybug he came up from behind and did? I love that too. heheheh | 2007-02-28 01:04:25 |
| 544 | 3624 | WELL, I'M A BIT WORRIED, THE THING IS THAT I NEVER GET MY PERIOD ON TIME, I MEEN, IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN LATE; SOMETIMES I'VE EVEN BEEN WITHOUT IT FOR MONTH'S. MY CONCERN IS THAT MY LAST PERIOD WAS AROUND NOVEMBER 5TH AND BEFORE THAT I WAS HAVING IT EVERY MONTH OR I WAS JUST LATE FOR A FEW WEEKS. I HAVENT HAD SEX COMPLETELY, MY BOYFRIEND HAS ONLY TOUCHED MY VAGINA WIITH HIS PENIS, BUT IT HASN’T GONE INSIDE, AND WHEN HE DID, HE WAS WEARING A CONDOM, IS IT POSIBLE IN ANY WAY TO BE PREGNANT? AND WHY IS MY PERIOD SO OUT OF CONTROL? I’M REALLY NERVOUS AND I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO HELP, THANK YOU. | 2007-02-01 14:57:27 |
| 544 | 3629 | Get yourself checked out. A friend of mine had this problem and finally got checked after not having a period for months and it turned out she had PCOS. It's possible you might have something similar wrong with you. If you get it seen to, it can be treated easily by just taking the pill or something but leaving it can lead to infertility. Of course, it could be something else entirely but it's always best to get checked. It isn't safe to be diagnosed online. | 2007-02-02 09:40:21 |
| 544 | 3650 | As Canis advised, seeing a doctor about it would really help. I used to not get my period regularly, until I became sexually active.& Once I came to school my period was all messed up due to stress.& Now I'm on birth control to help me regulate it.& Seeing a gynecologist could really help. | 2007-02-07 17:16:03 |
| 544 | 3651 | Mine used to be a bit irregular also along with being really heavy and painful with all the physical symptoms of PMS. I generally didn't get the mental symptoms although feeling really crap physically would obviously make me feel a bit down in the dumps sometimes but& I wasn't noticeably bad tempered or teary. Being on the pill helped to alleviate most of the symptoms to a greater extent and make me a bit more regular too. Still, going for months without a period is something a bit more to be concerned about than being off& by a week or so. | 2007-02-07 17:21:36 |
| 546 | 3631 | My 4 1/2 year old daughter has been masturbating for YEARS. She started this from pressure created by buckles in many infant restraints - car seats, strollers, high chairs, swings. This began when she was about 6 months old. At first I had NO CLUE what she was doing, and she would totally zone out and it would take a couple minutes to get her attention. She would grab her diaper and do a grinding motion with her hips into the buckle/strap holding her. We were SO worried that we ACTUALLY had her tested for seizures - staring seizures. It wasn't for quite a few months that we finally figured out what was going on (who would have guessed that a 6 month old baby could or would masturbate???). We had hoped she would grow out of it, but when she was almost two years old she started fingering herself whenever she was having a bath as well. Shortly after that she began humping all kinds of objects from pillows, blankets, towels, stuffed animals or chair and table legs. When she turned three she started lieing on her stomach and humping her hands if she didn't have a soft object. Now she's constantly either humping her hands, humping an object, fingering herself, or just always touching herself down there. It isn't 24/7 but it feels like it. She does other things, but she does this several times each day. It's hard to believe others who say this is normal. When will she grow out of this? | 2007-02-03 12:22:37 |
| 546 | 3632 | It's unlikely that she will grow out of masturbation.& Most people that start young continue to do so into adulthood.& I wouldn't say it's normal necessarily, but it's certainly not uncommon for very young children to accidentally discover masturbation in such a way.& The thing is that children don't understand what masturbation or sexuality are.& Children are curious and when they find something that feels good or different, they are just going to do it even though they don't understand it. You shouldn't discourage her masturbation.& What you ought to do is teach her to be more discreet about it.& In a few years she is going to start learning about sex and sexuality.& It's important to teach her to be discreet in such a way that you don't teach her to be ashamed of herself at the same time.& Teach her to treasure it as something private and special, not as something to hide and be ashamed of. | 2007-02-03 14:39:02 |
| 546 | 3633 | Hi, Similiar experiences can be read at the following link: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_child.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_child.htm Brad | 2007-02-03 16:01:58 |
| 546 | 3634 | I agree with the above. As a small child, she'll not know any restraints and such and will just do it anywhere at anytime. As she gets older, she will learn to start being a bit more discreet and private and you can encourage this but be careful to not put the wrong message across. If you can keep her feeling comfortable with her body, you'll be doing her a BIG favour for when she gets older. If parents didn't stop their children from doing this, they'd all do it just the same and would do it with each other too but if this happens, it generally really freaks the parents out and they react in a way that teaches the children that what they have done is very wrong, dirty, shameful etc....it is very damaging.:( | 2007-02-03 19:03:38 |
| 546 | 3636 | it is a good thing,in my opinion. | 2007-02-04 11:53:36 |
| 546 | 3684 | On the BBC program 'The Human Body' (presented by Robert Winston) they showed an ultrasound scan of a female fetus having an orgasm inside the womb. The fetus was not touching the vagina with her hand, but was moving her thighs and squeezing her clitoris, and would then give a little shiver.... (The mother commented to her Dr that she felt the fetus doing odd movements, hence the reason for the scan...) My partner (now 51) started masturbating at age 5, she never touched herself per se, but she would squeeze her clitoris between her legs and rub gently against jungle gyms, slides, chairs, etc.. She was doing this in the 1960's. She kinda knew it was not something she should get caught doing... but she loved the tingling feeling and knew she should be discreet... She can't recall how she knew she should be discreet. Although we all know there is nothing wrong with masturbating, I think there is a case for you to teach your daughter to be discreet and definitely not to do it in public, she could run the risk of getting caught and teased by other kids.. Having said that she may end up suffering the indignity of being caught and teased before the need to be discreet sinks in..... painful but true... | 2007-02-12 03:46:29 |
| 546 | 4000 | Looks like this subject made it to mainstream TV www.metacafe.com/watch/135824/saying_yoo_hoo_to_the_hoo_hoo/ | 2007-04-08 14:51:57 |
| 546 | 4639 | My daughter, when she was two was always touching herself. My wife and I just distracted her, gave her a toy or started a conversation, and it worked. She'd stop and that was it. My wife became concerned recently, our daughter is now seven and we have noticed her doing it again, while watching TV or doing homework. I suggested to my wife that we casually say to her that that is done when we are alone in our rooms. I'm not sure stopping her is possible and all we want is for her to be a normal well-adjusted adult. We as parents just guide our children in the right direction and hope they respond. | 2007-08-12 06:35:54 |
| 546 | 4642 | No, don't stop her. Just teach her that doing that is a private act that you save for times when you're alone but keep your voice more& casual...never speak in a tone that sounds disturbed or negative. It is important to not send the wrong messages across because this can really mess them up...as has happened with me. | 2007-08-12 09:08:47 |
| 546 | 4644 | Thanks, that was my point exactly. It's difficult to reason with a two year-old, and my mom was the one who advised us never to tell our daughter not to do that, she said to just distract her. Now that she is seven, it is possible to explain that this is something that is done in private. I never intended to convey that we wanted her to stop this activity, just pointing out that if one were to try to stop her, it would be impossible and it would only lead to feelings of guilt and other insecurities. | 2007-08-12 10:15:29 |
| 546 | 4671 | This is a difficult subject to address, as from my perspective, dealing with female sexual difficulties on a daily basis, I believe you want girls/women to feel so comfortable masturbating that they don't hesitate to do so during partnered sex later on. If they want to have an orgasm, and need a little something more, their hand goes to their clit without hesitation, and the guy/girl doesn't get all bent out of shape when she does. The reason being, they often need a helping hand, their own hand, if they desire to experience orgasm. If a girl/teen wants to release tension, cramps, fall asleep, shouldn't she feel comfortable using the natural means available to her? When it comes time for her to teach her partner what she likes, versus expecting them to magically know, shouldn't she feel comfortable showing them? So how do you raise a girl who will feel comfortable masturbating in front of a future partner yet knowns it is inappropriate to do so in front of people in general? At what age can you explain this to them without sending the wrong message? It is perfectly normal and everyone does it but... Mommy and Daddy hide it because... Young children do it because it feels good, having no concept of sex or masturbation. Those are strictly teen/adult concepts. Can you make children aware of those adult concepts without imparting the negative feelings that adults have that go along with them? In some families nudity is acceptable within the home, but what about masturbation, at least concerning the young children? Some parents appear to allow it, based on the fact that they describe seeing their children masturbate on a frequent basis. I suspect many who do so wouldn't admit to it publicly, for fear of being sent to jail. Today, many women masturbate in front of their partner even though they probably always hid their masturbation activities from others, so it isn't necessary for parents to allow their child to masturbate openly within the home for this to occur. On the other hand, I advise women who are in their twenties, and older, who have no concept of sexual pleasure.& They didn't learn about sex from their peers let alone their parents or other adults. We don't know what is best, because society prevents us from asking the necessary questions and getting the necessary answers. I don't believe we know what is too permissive and what is too restrictive, and what is independent of this issue. Parents are in a difficult situation, as they will get conflicting advise depending on who they ask. Who is right and who is wrong? | 2007-08-12 18:20:46 |
| 546 | 5740 | I have a two and a half year old daughter who began masturbating before she was even born.& During the last couple months of my pregnancy, I felt these wierd kicks now and then, and I had inquired about them as I was worried.& When pictures came in as to what was going on, the results revealed that she was masturbating and the real strong kicks occured when she orgasmed, and then the period of nothing and virtually no movement inside me were rest periods.& This certainly caught me by surprise, even the doctors.& It wasn't surprising that after just a few hours of her being born she had already started masturbating in the hospital.& The nurses told me to ignore it and that she would eventually grow out of it.& For the first several months of her life, she usually only masturbated occasionally each day for a few minutes at a time while in her crib.& But after that, she began getting more and more aggressive with it.& Soon she was humping her hands on the floor, in her crib, on the couch, or on a bed.& If she was in a more public or common place in the house, I'd just put a blanket over her back so that she wouldn't draw too much attention to herself.& For the last few months, she's started to masturbate in a sitting position instead of a lieing down one.& She likes this one particular high chair in the kitchen that she can thrust herself in, and this is where I get worried.& She gets very aggressive with it, how do I know she won't fall out of the chair and get hurt?& How do I know the chair won't tip over with her constant forward rocking motion?& It makes me very uncomfortable.& My other worry is this.& Now that she's doing it this way, I can't just put a blanket over her to hide her activity.& My other two children, one is 5, and the other 8, are starting to wonder and ask what their baby sister is doing, and I never know what to tell them anymore.& They haven't discovered masturbation themselves, and I'd like to keep it that way.& I also want to know, when will she grow out of it?& Are the doctors right?& And is ignoring her activity really the best thing to do?& She's still too young to understand the concept of privacy, so I don't have too many options.& I'm also worried that she might start masturbating more and more and get consumed with it instead of "growing out of it until puberty" as they say. | 2008-05-05 23:04:17 |
| 546 | 5741 | Masturbation per se is not harmful anyway. The improperness& mainly lies in the circumstance masturbation happens. If a person, especially a& female who still undergoes systematic discrimination& and denial of sexual ability& by the society and religions, it is a crucial case& for you to opt the right choice. If you give her any suggestion that masturbation is wrong per se, one more woman with frigidity is made. | 2008-05-08 06:00:41 |
| 548 | 3639 | I am 17 years old and I used to masturbate about 4 times a week. I used to cum every time by rubbing my clit and using the lubricant from my vagina when& I was wet. Now....... I rarely even get wet enough and I can't get myself to cum. I also couldn't cum& when my boyfriend was rubbing my clit. Im afraid something is wrong with me. I don't know why all of a sudden I stopped being able to give myself an orgasm. I don't know whether it is due to stress or what? Also, I don't get as wet as I used to or as aroused as I used to. My boyfriend gets upset that he can't make me cum.& This makes me really upset. Whats wrong with me????? What are some reasons that this could be happening??????:( | 2007-02-06 13:31:17 |
| 548 | 3640 | [user=1305]Vanessa3523[/user] wrote: "I am 17 years old and I used to masturbate about 4 times a week. I used to cum every time by rubbing my clit and using the lubricant from my vagina when& I was wet. Now....... I rarely even get wet enough and I can't get myself to cum. I also couldn't cum& when my boyfriend was rubbing my clit. Im afraid something is wrong with me. I don't know why all of a sudden I stopped being able to give myself an orgasm. I don't know whether it is due to stress or what? Also, I don't get as wet as I used to or as aroused as I used to. My boyfriend gets upset that he can't make me cum.& This makes me really upset. Whats wrong with me????? What are some reasons that this could be happening??????:("First thing to do is calm down! There is nothing to worry about.& If you get stressed over this and keep focusing on the big o rather than the pleasure the more likely it's not going to happen. I have had spurts before where I wasn't able to have an orgasm from any kind of pleasure from myself or my boyfriend.& He felt the same way your boyfriend did, and his ego also went down because he felt he couldn't please me at all. That is not the point, many women can't orgasm every time.& It just happens to be that way.& Learn to accept it, and you train of thought will help you out. | 2007-02-06 17:36:13 |
| 548 | 3647 | Are you on any medications? Certain drugs can totally kill orgasm or arousal or lubrication or all of the above. | 2007-02-07 09:48:34 |
| 548 | 3648 | No im not on any medication. | 2007-02-07 16:05:15 |
| 548 | 3653 | Hi, Please see the information linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_7/qa7_8.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_6.htm#4 www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_6.htm#5 www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_6/qa6_22.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_arousal.htm Brad | 2007-02-07 20:49:40 |
| 549 | 3642 | Hi, I'm a newbie to the forum.& Finally at the age of 51, I have found this great man who is fullfilling every sexual dream I've ever had.& But at 51 and just into menopause, the sensitivity of my entire genital area is almost numb.& I can orgasm through masterbation, vaginally with hard trusting and clitorially with a vibrator/suction device, but when we are together, all I feel is a little senstation on my clitoris.& I am overwhelmed with HRT information.& I am very healthy taking no medications at all, however I am taking fish oil, DHEA, Tribulus and general vitamins, but finding things are getting worse quickly.& Is it too late, what can I do to restore how I used to feel? | 2007-02-07 00:46:57 |
| 549 | 3645 | I would go to my doctor and explain to them exactly how you're feeling down there, and they will be able to help you from there. | 2007-02-07 07:15:13 |
| 549 | 3646 | Hi Ladybug, thank you, but I guess I need a new doctor as he said it just comes with aging!& Searching for someone new right now...thanks again | 2007-02-07 09:22:09 |
| 549 | 3649 | Sometimes a second opinion may help! :)& Good luck with finding a doctor! | 2007-02-07 17:13:01 |
| 549 | 3709 | Hello there welcome to the group :) I know people who have used Wild Yam cream on their upper arms, inner thighs and sometimes on the throat daily with some excellent results within the first month. Also taking Korean Ginseng is supposed to be really beneficial as well. When you bathe, do not use soap or any soap based products on your vaginal area either. Only warm water if at all possible. I have heard great things about Chaste Berry restoring the balance of hormones thus enabling more sensations with arousal too but dont know too much about that to be able to comment. Might be worth a look though along with the usual Evening Primrose oil or Starflower oil taken daily. It can be devestating when this happens. Good for you for asking the question in the first place. I have seen good results with the Wild Yam cream so look into that if you can. Princess :) | 2007-02-18 14:21:52 |
| 549 | 3979 | & Studiochic, I can assure you that it is not age that desensitizes you. My wife's libido and responsiveness remained through her menopause, and she was on HRT.& When I started to lose my erectile ability due to a combination of diabetes 2, heart disease and consequnet medication, when needed, we substituted my limpness with penetrative toys, with direct stimulation of her clitoris with fingers or vibrator. She is now 80 years, and her orgasms are as strong as they have ever been. As we live alone, she no longer needs to stifle her cries, and I tease her sometimes that the neighbours will be envious. So find yourself another, understanding doctor, with the conviction that it not your age that is the problem. Accept that lubrication may be an issue, but there are good warming gels and liquids that can get you past that. Good luck.:) | 2007-04-05 23:04:27 |
| 549 | 5308 | Much can be done in the premenopause and menopause chapters of your life to improve hormone balance.& Traditional HRT is not the only answer and is simply the primary treatment which Physicians are familiar with. It is amazing what alternative therapies (eg: supplements / progesterone cream) can do to improve your life.& Has anyone had experience with natural progesterone cream in the premenopause years (some to believe begin as early as age 30)& which continue roughly up through age 50?& It appears& estrogen dominance& and/or environmental& toxins play a major part& in hormone imbalance.& This can produce uterine fibroids, decreased sex drive, weight gain, tender breasts, PMS, night sweats etc etc.. none of which is a normal part of aging. Surprise ladies (and loving partners) for this is not the pill that the Drs say we must accept as part of aging. I love this new chapter of my life, now that I am once again returning to a position of empowerment. As most of you already know, researching here online is a wonderful tool in becoming more aware.& & R & | 2008-01-21 20:41:29 |
| 552 | 3683 | Hi I wondering if it is safe for a guy to ejaculate in a girls mouth. I know she can spit it out, but even then, not all of it goes out. Some of it ends up passing through the system. Is this ok for the body? (sperm being swallowed?) | 2007-02-12 01:17:50 |
| 552 | 3688 | It's all natural. Ingredients of of ejaculate: Seminal fluid which is 60% of the ejaculate: It contains: & - fructose sugar & - ascorbic acid - which is Vitamin C & - Vesiculase - which helps the sperm break through things and move forward & - Fibrinogen - protein - which helps clot Prostatic Fluid& which is 30 % of the ejaculate It contains: & - fats & - protein & - calcium & - Fibrinolysin - which breaks down the Fibrinogen blob & - Antibiotics Then there's 5% of Epidymis secretion and 5% of Cowper's gland secretion. You see, all natural ingredients that can't really harm you if you swallow ejaculate.& That is, unless you're allergic to semen, then I don't recommend swallow or letting him ejaculate anywhere near you. | 2007-02-12 13:18:05 |
| 552 | 3692 | Lady, thats a hellua lot of chemical analysis. Tempted to ask you what would be the composition of a female's juice. I love eating out pussy and wonderin if I am overeating - as of now my weight is still average :P | 2007-02-14 01:53:09 |
| 552 | 3694 | hahaha, :) My human sexuality professor gave us the crack down of the male ejaculate... Unfortunately, she didn't give us what's in the female. :( Maybe I should ask her? lol ;) | 2007-02-14 15:52:20 |
| 552 | 3696 | hello, i think it would be interesting to know the ingredients of female ejaculate..i never really thought of it before until you wrote the one of male ejaculate.. ciao, mayang | 2007-02-15 00:24:21 |
| 552 | 3697 | I'll see what I can do! | 2007-02-15 12:58:50 |
| 552 | 3801 | It is only safe if you are disease free.:-(( | 2007-03-02 01:16:30 |
| 554 | 3702 | im 15 n need help but daren't go to the doctor i keep getting spots on my vagina which look like whiteheads - is this genital warts? should i go see someone because i'm getting quite worried please reply xx & | 2007-02-16 15:32:57 |
| 554 | 3703 | you may not want to go to a doctor, but a doctor is the most qualified person to tell you if and what the problem may be.& the best anyone could do here is give a non-professional opinion, and most people here would wind up telling you to see a doctor. | 2007-02-16 18:26:07 |
| 554 | 3704 | Holly, I understand that you're scared.& I think the best thing you should do is see a doctor.& The only way you'll resolve this is by seeing someone that has the degree.& Since we're not real doctors we can't tell you what you have.& Don't be ashamed to go to the doctor.& They see various things throughout their career to not even flinch when giving you the check-up. | 2007-02-16 22:57:24 |
| 554 | 3706 | Hi, Please have a look at the information under bumps and lumps on the page linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_anatomy.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_anatomy.htm Brad | 2007-02-17 00:02:29 |
| 554 | 3844 | I hope by now you have gotten help. If not find a free health clinic in your area and find out what the spots are. | 2007-03-05 23:28:23 |
| 555 | 3707 | The other day me and my girl friend were involved in a little sexual fun. I was fingering her all the time to stimulate her but in between i realised that I had my CUM all over the fingers that I used to finger her. I hope that will not cause a problem (as in she will not get pregnant right) as we cant get her pregnant right now. Please help | 2007-02-17 09:13:43 |
| 555 | 3708 | There are many factors to take into account here. 1) Was your girlfriend on any sort of birth control? & & If she was on birth control, the chances are slim that she would be pregnant. 2) How long had the semen been on your fingers before you fingered here? & & If the semen had been on your fingers long enough, there is a chance that it would have already died out before you fingered her.& Meaning no real chance of pregnancy. However, if either of these are negative for you, there is a chance of pregnancy.& It is exactly the same as intercourse at that point, and you should be taking all of the necessary precautions in case she becomes pregnant. She could try the morning after pill if you are very worried, and if this happened very recently.& Otherwise, you two need to start talking about how you would act if she became pregnant.& Abortion?& Adoption?& Actually raising the child? You need to consider every side. I wish you luck, and if she isn't pregnant be sure to take more precautions in the future. | 2007-02-17 11:03:54 |
| 557 | 3713 | during sex after a while half an hour or an hour into sex, she starts to shake and tells me to stop , stop, stop, of course i continue for a few min. until she screams stop, stop, stop, i gotta pee, and she goes to the bathroom, i walk along and squirts all over the toilet and floor, and damn! well, my question is, she said she suirted, but it was clear, and odorless, i thought i would smell piss even on the paper towel, but nothing ? | 2007-02-20 14:37:30 |
| 557 | 3714 | Hi, What she is experiencing is normal and is called female ejaculation. Many women who experience this are afraid they are going to urinate so fight the feeling and/or avoid sexual activities that cause this feeling. Grab a couple towels and lay them on your bed and give her permission to get wet. You can read more in the article linked to below. She should read it soo, so she knows it is normal and many others experience the same. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm Brad | 2007-02-20 16:29:24 |
| 557 | 3715 | [user=1389]jayjota[/user] wrote: "during sex after a while half an hour or an hour into sex, she starts to shake and tells me to stop , stop, stop, of course i continue for a few min. until she screams stop, stop, stop, i gotta pee, and she goes to the bathroom, i walk along and squirts all over the toilet and floor, and damn! well, my question is, she said she suirted, but it was clear, and odorless, i thought i would smell piss even on the paper towel, but nothing ?" Ummm, what?& If your sexual partner tells you to stop, you stop.& Don't continue for a few minutes, and don't imply that that is a normal thing to do.& Most loving guys (or girls, if that's the case) would stop for their partner if they asked so. I know that this comment is off-topic, but things like this rub me the wrong way.& Be respectful to your partner. | 2007-02-20 17:04:13 |
| 557 | 3716 | Because she told me a few days beforehand that whenever she says to stop not to stop, i used to just stop completely, but she got mad when i did, it does get me confused, but what am i to do. | 2007-02-20 18:28:55 |
| 557 | 3717 | Hmm, well that's sort of odd.& Ah well. Sorry for jumping to conclusions like that!& I just can't stand it when people don't respect their partners; there's some personal baggage there for me as well. Again, I'm sorry for interrupting your thread like that. | 2007-02-20 19:45:07 |
| 557 | 3718 | Hi, Perhaps you should try getting her to say Yes, Yes, Yes, unless she really means Stop. You could run into trouble if you don't know when she really means Stop. Saying Yes may help her surrender control and squirt without having to get up and go to the bathroom. Brad | 2007-02-20 23:10:07 |
| 557 | 3719 | BRAD>>>> THE ONLY PROBLEM IS I HEAR BOTH ALL THE TIME, ITS BEEN DISCUSSED, its sooo dam confusing sometimes, the only time i really stop is when i hear OWWW!!! i GET WHAT YOU MEAN THOUGH, WE DISCUSSED AND SHE JUST DOESNT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH SURRENDERING HERSELF COMPLETELY& AND JUST SQUIRT | 2007-02-20 23:29:04 |
| 557 | 3720 | yeah she said & " but it was ALOT and i dont want to just do that " | 2007-02-20 23:36:42 |
| 557 | 3721 | I wish I could squirt... my bf claims I do, but I don't.& With the stop thing, I never say stop unless I mean it.& It's usually after I've orgasmed and he still is busy having a ball performing cunnilingus.& That's when I take my hand and hand it head and back away.& It doesn't hurt, it kinda tickles because it's really sensitive then. But in your girlfriends case, if you both are clear in your lingo, have fun.& If she really means stop, then she might add some oomph to the word. stop , it's hard to describe on here but hopefully you know what I mean. | 2007-02-21 07:31:13 |
| 557 | 3722 | What is the difference between orgasm and squirting? You said You wished You would be able to squirt, but cant, yet you do orgasm and wish for squirt??????????? im a little lost | 2007-02-21 07:36:15 |
| 557 | 3730 | [user=1389]jayjota[/user] wrote: "What is the difference between orgasm and squirting? You said You wished You would be able to squirt, but cant, yet you do orgasm and wish for squirt??????????? im a little lost"An orgasm is when the vaginal muscles spasm while the cervix pumps (which is what helps sperm along).& Squirting is the female ejaculation.& I guess I do, but I don't squirt where is sprays out like some.& I'm a gusher. | 2007-02-22 15:09:14 |
| 557 | 3735 | I just experienced this type of ejaculation about a year ago. I actually thought i was urinating on my partner. He loves the wetness of the squirting liquid. I can not do this each time we have sex. But he expect this to happen each time we have sex. I only can acheive this type of climax when i am on top. | 2007-02-24 02:08:56 |
| 557 | 3741 | I think sometimes female ejaculation is not noticed if it occurs during intercourse, except, that it gets the penis so juicy. Melissa | 2007-02-24 23:01:17 |
| 557 | 3742 | I think it is one way the guy tells you've had an orgasm...because what is a wet intercourse gets super wet.... | 2007-02-24 23:03:25 |
| 557 | 3945 | no, if u squirt, it is noticeable, u will def. know.. | 2007-03-28 00:27:45 |
| 557 | 3948 | [user=1389]jayjota[/user] wrote: "no, if u squirt, it is noticeable, u will def. know.." I don't think it's the same for everyone.& I squirt, but I don't necessarily squirt like those porno girls. | 2007-03-28 11:46:27 |
| 557 | 4014 | I think when the penis is going in and out of the vagina and the girl squirts, it gets the penis very very wet, but you don't notice it like a regular G spot ejaculation, because the penis is going in and out... Melissa | 2007-04-09 23:06:05 |
| 557 | 4022 | ooooohhhh yes, that is sooo true. i like to still go in and out as much as possible , and very much so enjoy taking a step to the side and watching the magical fountain of squirt go alll over, its such a turn on | 2007-04-10 07:20:35 |
| 558 | 3724 | My gf ejaculates during sex, however, we keep having the discussion, and i still dont understand, & & What is the difference between ejaculation and orgasm???? & And How can I go from making her ejaculate to orgasm? | 2007-02-21 20:38:15 |
| 558 | 3726 | Hi, Female orgasm consists most commonly of pelvic and vaginal muscle contractions, which are experienced as waves of pleasure radiating outward from the clitoris. Keep in mind women experience different types of orgasms, and perceive the same type of orgasm differently. Female ejaculation is the release of fluid from the urethra. It often occurs at the same time as orgasm, but can be released at any time, especially when the vaginal wall is stimulated. The fluid can simply seep out or be pushed out by muscle contractions, which may occur even if orgasm isn't experienced. Some women ejaculate during sexual arousal, prior to orgasm. Brad | 2007-02-21 20:53:24 |
| 559 | 3727 | ...any of you ladies have any idea how many contractions you have when you have a really intense orgasm? and...how many of you are very turned on by the fact your partner can feel them happening while he's in there? | 2007-02-21 21:58:04 |
| 559 | 3732 | I have many... does many count as an answer? I'm in too much awe to count.& :) My boyfriend says he can't feel it when he's inside me.& But, he said he feels it when he fingers me, he thinks it's cool. :P | 2007-02-22 15:15:20 |
| 560 | 3734 | Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a full 3 years now, and are at the end of the year finally going to tie the knot(after& alot of prodding from me :D). And I think we have truthfully had a great sex life(without the sex as I will explain in a bit)and there are definatly plenty of things to explore that dont involve sex), I have no complaints about it except for one blaring thing. We cant have sex, because whenever we do my girlfriends vagina actually& splits on the bottom and it becomes really really painful for her to contiune. I never had a problem with it. My girlfriend on the other hand sort of takes it as its a problem shes caused and really gets angry and frustrated about it. So I finally decided to look into it. Now ill give you the gritty details. We started having sex about half a year into the relationship. And of course experienced this problem right off, and just counted it as happenings of the first time and didnt really try to continue. The problem of course being that vagina lips actually split near the bottom. We have tried to continue through it before but even if the split doesnt happen she will get just horrible pains in the exact spot where the split would happen. Its not a very big& tear,& barely& visible truthfully, but the pain it causes& her is tremendous.& We have on and off tried to do it from then until now. We have succeeded& twice as I can remember after trying dozens of times. One of the times we didnt use any lubricant at all and it went really well, we both felt passionate and there was only a little discomfort for her and she quickly forgot it. But we havent been able to replicate it since. She is the one who usually initiates our sexual activities, and when we cant continue past what were used to she gets really angry and frustrated. We always use condoms, and she is on birth control. We usually use lubricant only after we try without. Theres always plenty of foreplay, and she is really quick to orgasm. My questions are.. What should we do about this? Can someone be allergic to latex? And we use KY jelly.. are there lubricants that would be better? And would using a vibrator help? I think were definatly going to see a doctor about it, but I was just hoping someone out there would have some advice. with love, Eonman | 2007-02-24 00:25:46 |
| 560 | 3737 | Hi, I recommend consulting a doctor and finding information on dyspareunia and vaginismus. The repeated tearing should not be occurring unless there is a hormonal deficiency or structural problem. She really should have consulted a doctor prior to now. I recommend you do not engage in intercourse until you find a solution. There are other lubricants they may work better for you, and you should always be using them. Please see the information linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#pain1] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#pain1& [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm& [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/health.htm#depo] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/health.htm#depo& [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm Brad | 2007-02-24 09:41:54 |
| 560 | 4944 | Ok, so I know its been along time since I last responded to this.. But my girlfriend has seen a doctor multiple times about our problem, and has yet to come up with a solution. He said that he had prescribed what he thought could help, so she took the medicine and it didnt end up helping. We are both at wits end here, nothing, including a doctors visit has helped, she has gone to him around 6 times, each time something else was decided to try and help. Does anyone at all have any ideas what to do? We have also been seeing a sexual therapist(for about half a year), which was also inconclusive. And again the reason this is all the sudden an issue again is that were getting married in a few weeks and well we both hoped we could have sex on our honeymoon. Luckily I think we have both grown with each other in dealing with this, we both know we will always be with each other and never let anything stop that. But again a honeymoon with sex would be great lol. | 2007-10-11 20:23:25 |
| 560 | 4945 | Hi, Has she tried using insertable objects of increasing size to slowly stretch and condition the tissues and muscles in the area? This is one of the treatments for vaginismus. She needs to be able to insert an object slightly larger than your penis without experiencing pain or discomfort prior to you attempting intercourse. She needs to be able to simulate intercourse while masturbating. Once she can do this, and not before, she should then get on top and control things during intercourse. You might look into perineal massage, which is something some women do prior to delivery of their baby to help prevent tearing. [url=www.childbirth.org/articles/massage.html] www.childbirth.org/articles/massage.html [url=parenting.ivillage.com/pregnancy/plabor/0,,midwife_46dl,00.html] parenting.ivillage.com/pregnancy/plabor/0,,midwife_46dl,00.html [url=www.birthingnaturally.net/cn/technique/perineal.html] www.birthingnaturally.net/cn/technique/perineal.html You may need to consult a different doctor, as this one doesn't appear to know a solution. Have your tried anal intercourse? Vaginal intercourse doesn't work for everyone. You don't need to engage in intercourse at all, though there is likely social pressure on you both to do so, to appear "normal," like everyone else. Brad | 2007-10-12 09:19:17 |
| 560 | 4946 | I agree about seeing another doc or getting referred to a specialist in this area. When it comes to things like vaginismus, many GP& docs are totally clueless. | 2007-10-12 15:19:51 |
| 560 | 5083 | Hmm.. I think I will show her the perineal massage pages. And she did see a specialist, it was still very inconclusive. | 2007-11-15 11:33:52 |
| 560 | 5084 | Even some so called Gynos can be pretty clueless with things like vaginismus so don't give up hope. Lots of women I knew in the vag support group had had similar experiences with docs and gyns and so-called specialists who obviously hadn't had any training in that area. They are only trained in the phsyical aspects of things and if they don't see anything physically wrong, they are stuck. Vaginismus is a mental thing which manifests itself in a physical way& and so needs somebody who has more training on the mental aspects and how this can affect the physical aspects. | 2007-11-15 12:54:39 |
| 560 | 5100 | Have you tried different positions, such as entering her from behind so that the force of your thrusting is not at the bottom of her vagina? | 2007-11-18 19:16:21 |
| 561 | 3736 | Me and my gf were having a little sexual fun. She gave me a nice massage and i ejaculated. While cleaning up I think i had a little sperm on my hand. I washed my hands with soap. For about half an hour I was involved in some other activities like playing with my dog, surfing the net etc. I wanted to have some more fun. So i washed my hands and then started rubbing her with my fingers (the same ones that I had sperm on). I want to know if this is gonna cause any problems. After about half an hour and 2 soap handwashes later I want to know if the sperm can still be alive thereby the rub i gave her would convert into a pregnancy. I really hope not. Please tell me.. | 2007-02-24 06:55:04 |
| 561 | 3738 | Hi, It is extremely unlikely, as sperm are delicate and degenerate quickly when not in the appropriate environment. Brad | 2007-02-24 09:45:34 |
| 561 | 3764 | Sperm doesn't survive in open air- don't worry. If it does and she gets pregnant you gonna get a super robot - good for you. Don't mix dog touchin and pussy touchin again - just a suggestion. Enusure hands are disinfected if you have to. | 2007-02-27 00:22:51 |
| 563 | 3745 | Hello, I bought a vibrator for the first time a few months ago and can never fully get to orgasm. I know i have low self esteem issues, sexuality issues (mum says its alright to be sexual, but only if your a wanton) and i find it hard to relax, do these things really effect the ability to orgasm? Also, i find that I can get really close (The odd times I do get over said issues) and I mean really close, but then I can never quite reach it, it's almost like the feeling is so good I can't finish it. Are there any techniques to get over this? When I was very young, from about 4 or 5, I would wake up with this feeling in my stomach and throat. It was sort of like being thirtsy. It was like a real need for something and it sort of felt very good but painful at the same time. I noticed that when I nearly orgasmed I had this feeling again, although it was like it was being fufilled, (thirtsy=have some water type feelig) Does this mean that from a very young age I've been having sexual feelings? | 2007-02-25 10:12:40 |
| 563 | 3746 | Hi, Are you by chance holding your breath when you near orgasm? Perhaps you were experiencing sleep apnea as a young girl and you woke up needing air? [url=www.sleepapnea.org/] www.sleepapnea.org/ You might need to get your brain distracted from your physical self by reading erotic stories, looking at erotic pictures, or watching videos. You don't want your brain focusing on what you are feeling. Orgasm needs to be a surprise to your brain, not expected. Brad | 2007-02-25 11:51:48 |
| 563 | 3748 | emerald you are very "normal", what happens is that we experience sex different from men, we are more sensual, (rely more on& the senses and mind to orgasm) consequently all you need is tranquility and allow your imagiantion to fly; orgasm is more than the "spasms" when we come and the vibrator help but do not do the job completely....close oyur eyes and explore erotic images that arouse you. Luisa | 2007-02-25 13:49:21 |
| 563 | 3758 | Thanks very much | 2007-02-26 08:12:28 |
| 563 | 3778 | Does anyone have any techniques for actually relaxing, as I find it really difficult to do so. | 2007-02-28 05:38:21 |
| 563 | 3784 | Close your eyes, focus on your breathing...massage your own body... listen to calming music. | 2007-02-28 18:52:08 |
| 563 | 3786 | Hi, You may need to work on relieving stress before you can relax.& That is, resolve the issues that are making you stressed. You can't relax your body if your mind is stressed out. Brad | 2007-02-28 20:09:47 |
| 563 | 3919 | hi there, i have a question. my b/f is very conserned becasue i don't havea n orgasism. i dont know if its good for me to not have one becuase he get sthe feeling that i dont want to be with him i need help... | 2007-03-24 01:07:47 |
| 563 | 3921 | You're boyfriend in mistaken into thinking that a woman can't be enjoying herself unless she has an orgasm. He shouldn't make a deal out of it because if you feel worried and pressured into having one, you'll never have one. How can you relax if you know your boyfriend is just waiting for your orgasm to come just to make his own ego feel better? | 2007-03-24 08:09:41 |
| 563 | 3926 | exactly what i think..like i feels pressured to have an orgasm and im not as interested...like he dont try to ind my g-spot or nothing like that...but i dont want to feel pressured into have an orgasm just so he would think i am enojying it.& like hes the first guy ive been with and ive never had an ogasism and i not wuite sure where my g-spot is... | 2007-03-24 20:08:29 |
| 563 | 3929 | Hi, Women most often need to learn how to masturbate to orgasm before they can experience orgasm during partnered sex, as your partner becomes more a distraction than anything else. Their wants, needs, and expectations become a barrier to your pleasure and orgasm. You can learn more about this by reading the article linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/tips.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/tips.htm The G-Spot is adressed in the article linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm The subject of placing too much importance in orgasm is addressed in the following articles. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/q_orgasm.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/q_orgasm.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nerves.htm Brad | 2007-03-25 10:06:16 |
| 563 | 3934 | hi, i've tried everything. Like i watch porn and mastuerbate nothing, maturbate when im horny nad sitll no orgasim, what have i got to do different when masturbating to have an orgasim. | 2007-03-25 23:39:13 |
| 563 | 3936 | Don't try to have an orgasm.& Thinking and worrying about not having an orgasm will take you out of the state of mind you need to be in to have one.& Essentially, you just need to turn off your rational mind for a while and let yourself drift.& When you masturbate, don't have a goal, just explore things that feel good to you.& When you find something that feels good, explore whatever it is you are doing and try to make it feel even better.& If you build the pleasure of the moment, the orgasm will eventually follow on its own. | 2007-03-26 02:09:22 |
| 564 | 3749 | Hi Me and my partner are constently haveing outtercourse sex. And ive been having some questions about this. Im very new to thins and im wondering alot about what i'm doing. It always starts out with a massage. But when it comes to her vagina i insert my fingers in her. i want to find her clitoris so i can make her orgasm more frequently. what does it look and feel like so i can detect it. and what are some other parts of the body i should try to stimulate to help her orgams more often. Also after we are done she goes to the bathroom to pee and says her vagina hurts.... is this bad what am i doing wrong? Any help will appreciated Thank YOU! | 2007-02-25 15:29:38 |
| 564 | 3751 | There are pics and diagrams of vulvas in the main site and you can look at those to help you locate the clitoris. Inside the vagina is the G-spot and you can stimulate this also. You can refer to the main site to help you find that too. Your GF may have some pain due to urinary tract infection if she gets a burning when peeing& or if it is actually the vagina, it might be because it is still getting used to having things inserted into it but these are just a couple of possible ideas, it could be a whole host of other things. I'm sure somebody else will post with more to say. | 2007-02-25 17:41:30 |
| 564 | 3752 | Here is some pictures of the vulva, it shows pictures of differant ones an tels about them in sum it shows the clitoris an in other it shows differant parts of the vulva [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/body_index.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/body_index.htm | 2007-02-25 17:52:02 |
| 564 | 3753 | Your girlfriend is smart to go to the bathroom right after intercourse, this will help combat against UI infections. Considering that it is only your fingers inside of her, I would suggest that the discomfort for her afterwards is due to unnecessary roughness on your part.& You don't have to be firm and harsh with your movements anywhere around there.& The best way (so I've heard) is to be gentle and caress more than push.& Also, I would recommend not going in circle around the walls of her vagina, as this might stretch her more than she is accustomed to. The best way to locate the clitoris is to ask your girlfriend.& Honestly, you can look through all the photos you want, none of them will look like hers.& The generally area to start is slightly above where the labia's meet on the top, from there just let her guide you to where it is the most sensitive. | 2007-02-25 18:35:22 |
| 566 | 3776 | i read somewhere once that if you really want to have a very intense and long/multiple orgasm while masturbating (and many of the women who have tried this out say that this works), you have to prolong the clitoral stimulation until you reach the brink of an orgasm and stop right there before you do orgasm and continue with the stimulation again...and i have heard that the more you keep doing this and prolonging the more intense your orgasms will be......only the problem with me is that the situation is completely reversed....i've tried it out many times, but every time i prolong the clitoral stimulation for hours (in other words keeping myself horny for as long as possible), the less intense my orgasms are.......and no i don't use any sex toys or vibrators...but everybody else says that the longer you keep yourself horny and on the brink of having an orgasm, the more intense the orgasms will be....but in my case it's really the opposite...actually with me, the case is that the faster i get my self turned on and the less i prolong it, the more intense my orgasms are(i hope i've not confused anyone:P& lol ).... does the time-frequency of prolonging the pleasure cause different results for different bodies?? i don't know, i'm really confused right now:?....have any of you experienced this?? because this has been frustarting me for quite some time:(.... | 2007-02-28 04:28:01 |
| 566 | 3780 | You mention prolonging the act for hours, so I wonder if you may be overdoing it.& Hours of constant stimulation, especially if it is repetitive, should tire you out and I would guess that your body would start to adjust to the stimulation as well. If you normally climax quickly, try bringing yourself to the edge maybe 8 or 10 times, prolonging the session for 20 or 25 minutes.& Another alternative might be to try stopping yourself before you orgasm and not immediately resuming stimulation.& Get to the brink and stop, then go about your normal business for a while.& Every hour or two get yourself to the edge but don't finish yourself off until the end of the day.& There is no guarantee that will work of course, but perhaps the anticipation would make a difference. | 2007-02-28 13:57:15 |
| 566 | 3782 | I know what you're talking about! I'm the same way as you! I've tried the stopping and going technique and it just went :P when it came to orgasming.& So, I don't believe everything I read. | 2007-02-28 18:50:39 |
| 566 | 3788 | Hi, You may be doing it for too long and simply over working your body and mind. You may need to work up to longer sessions. It may work better in the morning than at night, when you are tired. You also need to keep your brain involved, not just your body. If you normally experience "horny days" this may work better on those day. Brad | 2007-02-28 20:17:36 |
| 566 | 3798 | It's weird though Brad.& Because the times I have tried it, I was fully energized, just wanting to try something out.& I also believe it was one of those "horny days."& Just didn't have that much of an effect on me. Oh well! lol It's no biggie.& | 2007-03-01 14:40:10 |
| 569 | 3817 | Well the big question both genders want to answer is what an orgasm feels like in their point of views. Is it similar or completely different? Well I have an answer -- or atleast a theory. Have you ever sneezed before? And not just any sneeze, one of those long-awaited induced satisfying sneezes. Now imagine that feeling after you sneeze in your groin region. And depending on you, multiply that by 10. And just another point of evidence, you know the feeling when you try and try to sneeze and just when you get to that point of 'no-return,' it all goes away? Well that can be related the same way to sex. 'Blue balls' or whatever the female version is as well. What do you guys think? Is that a way to describe the sensation of an orgasm that would be accurate for both guys and girls? | 2007-03-02 23:42:45 |
| 569 | 3818 | my feeling is when i can't get to an itch and someone finally scratches the itch. This is total satisfaction for me. Just like a climax.:-X | 2007-03-03 01:31:53 |
| 570 | 3819 | I was wondering are there any women out there that get bacterial vaginosis everytime they have sex and why does this happen? | 2007-03-03 01:40:06 |
| 570 | 3822 | Hi, Do you mean following partnered sex? During sexual arousal the increased vaginal lubrication decreases the acidity of the vagina so sperm are able to survive. The vagina is normally acidic in women of reproductive age. If you are using condoms you could be allergic to latex. If you don't use condoms you could be reacting to his ejaculate and need to use condoms. If you are using a lubricant it may increase the chances of infection, especially if it contains glycerine, a sugar. You may need to change lubricants, or use one to reduce the amount of friction between you and him. If you can masturbate without experiencing BV then that rules out the change in vaginal pH caused by your own lubrication as the sole cause. Any medications and prescription birth control you use can influence your hormone levels and as a result your vaginal pH. Inserting anything into the vagina can also alter the pH, which is why douching is harmful; plus the cervix isn't sealed (if sperm can get in so can other things) so you can force foriegn material into the uterus resulting in pelvic infections. I have heard of women who have bad reactions to intercourse. We sell pH test paper so women can moniter their vaginal pH and health. Sometimes an infection isn't truly cured even if there are no obvious symptoms and/or you have completed the prescription dosage. The doctor may not be prescribing the correct medication for your particular strain of BV. I believe BV is often symptomless, so the test paper would help you know if your vaginal flora and pH is healthy after completing a medication. With some infections the woman's partner also need to be tested, so it is of the gyn for him too. ;-) Brad | 2007-03-03 12:07:50 |
| 570 | 3828 | Thank you for this information it was very fhelpful. I also get bv when i masterbate, i thought this was very strange since no object was inserted. My partner he was also treated and i still get it. I have used condoms and still get it. I will try unlubricated condoms.& What other meds are out there for bv? I have only been on metronidizole the pill and the vag cream. | 2007-03-04 11:09:35 |
| 570 | 3834 | Hi Pink, I am in the same boat as you and then some.& What Brad has said is right. I just can't seem to get rid of the infection.& Once it's gone, I'll be free for a week, and then it's back again. :(& I'm on the pill, and I thought that was going to help.& I always clean myself up after having sex because of having an infection caused by the lubrication or condom.& I think it's time for me to talk to my doctor about it since this is about the 5th one since September.& Having them all the time makes me feel embarrassed.& I always feel unclean when I get one again and a again and having to explain it to my boyfriend that I can't do things with him. Also, do you use toys when masturbating?& If so, it's best to clean it before and after every time you use it. | 2007-03-05 11:05:36 |
| 570 | 3839 | Hi, BV is a generic term applied to bacterial infections in general, that occur in the vagina. Doctors often assume what you have is is a common form of BV and prescribe a medication without knowing for sure, prior to seeing the lab work. They also assume the normal dosage would cure the infection. You may need to request a copy of your lab test and do some research on the internet to find the correct treatment for your particular infection. A pH test will tell you whether your vaginal pH is normal, which means the normal bacteria are keeping the vagina acidic so other bacteria cannot survive. Believe me, you don't want a "clean" vagina. This is all addressed in my article about Vaginitis. Bacteria are always present in the vagina, an infection occurs when the bad guys become too numerous, and the good bacteria lose the fight at controlling them. I don't know if the toys you may use can support the bacteria when they dry out between uses. Regular soap and water and a very good rinse should do. I am a little concerned when I hear about all the cleaning etc. Anything that interferes with the normal vaginal flora can lead to infection. Remember, the vagina is self cleaning. The more you clean or tinker with things down there the more you upset the normal balance of things. The changes in the fluids you notice after sex and masturbation might be normal changes, and not indications of infection. You would know better than me though. Brad | 2007-03-05 21:49:13 |
| 570 | 3845 | hello this is not a laughing matter. But i laughed out loud when Bradf30& mention something about tinkering around down there:D. Back on topic: No i don't use toys when i masterbate because it does nothing for me. I am now with holding sex from my boyfriend because i am scared of getting this bv stuff again, and this can be mentally draining. I have also thought about the same thing before that the doctors are not treating this b.v. with the correct medication. I have been on the internet searching and searching for answers. I will also try to find the paper to test my flora and ph levels. | 2007-03-05 23:54:46 |
| 570 | 3848 | Hi, You can see what I sell to get an idea of what you are looking for. You can buy them individually or as a set. Oops that link wasn't child safe, :shock: please scroll down to the bottom of the page linked to below. Here is the link for my article on infections. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/vaginitis.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/vaginitis.htm Brad | 2007-03-06 05:01:05 |
| 570 | 3851 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, BV is a generic term applied to bacterial infections in general, that occur in the vagina. Doctors often assume what you have is is a common form of BV and prescribe a medication without knowing for sure, prior to seeing the lab work. They also assume the normal dosage would cure the infection. You may need to request a copy of your lab test and do some research on the internet to find the correct treatment for your particular infection. A pH test will tell you whether your vaginal pH is normal, which means the normal bacteria are keeping the vagina acidic so other bacteria cannot survive. Believe me, you don't want a "clean" vagina. This is all addressed in my article about Vaginitis. Bacteria are always present in the vagina, an infection occurs when the bad guys become too numerous, and the good bacteria lose the fight at controlling them. I don't know if the toys you may use can support the bacteria when they dry out between uses. Regular soap and water and a very good rinse should do. I am a little concerned when I hear about all the cleaning etc. Anything that interferes with the normal vaginal flora can lead to infection. Remember, the vagina is self cleaning. The more you clean or tinker with things down there the more you upset the normal balance of things. The changes in the fluids you notice after sex and masturbation might be normal changes, and not indications of infection. You would know better than me though. Brad " I am aware of it being a self-cleaning part of my body.& I don't use soap when I wash up after sex.& I use warm water and when I go downtown on my own time, I make sure my hands are clean. I constantly am feeling itchy, and I have the white discharge that looks like cottage cheese.& I'm just so frustrated with this. :(& I keep clearing up and then it comes back again.& Now with all this stress added on from school I've been cramping and spotting. :( I also know that there are unhealthy eating habits that can make these infections come about.& Sugary foods are one of them.& I haven't eaten sugar in a long time.& I'm actually in the process of a weightloss program, and don't eat sugars at all.& I work out a lot, and once I'm finished, I hop in the shower.& I don't sit in my gym clothes after working out.& When I'm done with my workout, I feel my itchiest. I thought being on birth control it would help with keeping my hormones balanced, but it's not. :(& I'm at the end of my rope. I'm going to go now and get some Monistat. | 2007-03-06 13:34:53 |
| 570 | 3853 | I had a partial hysterectomy back in 1998 and my doctor told me at the time that i would not have to worry about getting any kind of std infections because i did not have a uterus any more. I know now that this doctor was not aware that infections can still occur within the vagina. I am also feed up with this yeast infection stuff i have bought so much monistat that i could start a pharmaceutical company. I have stopped drinking sodas and lowered my sugar intake.& The only solution i have for this is abstinence from sex. I feel so much better. | 2007-03-07 00:12:34 |
| 570 | 3854 | I ended up going to the health center on campus.& I talked it through with the nurse practitioner.& She took a look under the microscope and she said it was surely yeast.& So she gave me the little pill to take because I told her how the creams can be so messy.& I feel a little itchy right now, but it's not as bad as before.& In a few more days I'll feel a lot better.& I too will go without sex for a little bit, I was talking to my boyfriend about that last night.& I think the condoms we use are what's causing the problem.& | 2007-03-07 07:37:26 |
| 570 | 3856 | yes the condoms are the cause. Try using unlubricated condoms these can be a little harder to find. The diflucan pill will help for the internal system and sometimes i had to use the suppository otc vaginal monostat& (sp). Hope you feel better soon. I like when you said , i will go without sex for a little bit. Yes i know that without it we can become a little horny:D | 2007-03-07 11:07:55 |
| 570 | 3857 | hahah! yeah... My spring break starts Friday afternoon, and I told my boyfriend that I'm going to refrain from all sexual activity except kissing! He doesn't think I can do it, but I told him that I would prefer not to have another infection.& I know it's going to be a toughy because when we do see each other, it's hard to keep our hands off of each other.& Trying to make up for lost time. lol I think I need just some time for me to figure this out, see if it actually is sex.& I do think it may be the condom like it is for you.& We've used different kinds of brands, and the kimono kinds seemed to have left me not itchy.& I was doing some research on lubes, and some websites say that certain lubes wouldn't be good for women prone to yeast infections, and then when I go to another site and find the same kind it doesn't say anything about it.& AH! I need help! I have a female condom and I am thinking of trying it out since it's not latex.& | 2007-03-07 18:25:57 |
| 570 | 3863 | yes, when i heard about the female condom i laughed i could not imagine something like this. But this might work for you. I no longer have a uterus and i am wondering if this might not work for me. Have fun on your spring break. And stay focused on trying to find out why you are getting these infections.[-(:) | 2007-03-08 00:02:39 |
| 570 | 3866 | Hi, Everything I mentioned prior about BV also applies to yeast infection, in regards to presense of yeast in the vagina, types, treatment, and knowing if the problem has been resolved. Again a pH test will let you know your vaginal health. Brad | 2007-03-08 10:22:40 |
| 570 | 3867 | [user=1413]pinklady[/user] wrote: "yes, when i heard about the female condom i laughed i could not imagine something like this. But this might work for you. I no longer have a uterus and i am wondering if this might not work for me. Have fun on your spring break. And stay focused on trying to find out why you are getting these infections.[-(:)"hahaha, yeah! lol.& I'm going to catch up on school work, and work my tail off to get some money.& I need to be able to pay for things. I think I'm going to wait out for a bit until I have sex again.& I think it is important for me to find what is wrong. Maybe I should test the pH.& | 2007-03-08 12:50:47 |
| 570 | 4020 | I guess this is the right place to ask this question and ask for some advice. For a long time, I've had what I consider to be an infection that no gynecologist seems to want to diagnose as such.& They all look for the usual suspects (chlamydia, gonorrhea, etc.) but they all end up confused and throw their hands up and then send me to a specialist who does little& else about my problem. (I suffer from constant discharges, I am& regularly getting UTIs, not to mention the discomfort from feeling wet and itchy all the time.) The doctors tell me this is probably all natural and hormonal, but I don't think so.& I have two bits of evidence that no doctor seems to want to listen to: 1.& I used an AZO home UTI test, which tests for white blood cells.& Instead of testing my urine, I rubbed it on the inside of my vagina when I felt a discharge forming.& Needless to say, it tested positive. 2.& I have seen one doctor who'd test me in the office for UTIs (not a clean-catch test), and the test would come up positive.& When he sent to a specimen-collection center, I'd do a clean-catch, and the test would come up negative.& This seems to indicate that the problems generally come from elsewhere. Now, the reason I'm mentioning all of this is because the advice I'm asking for is not really how to talk to a gynecologist about this.& I have seen a number of them, including one renowned all over the place (of course, if you ask me, he didn't know anything either.& He was just one of those guys who looked for the usual suspects). The advice I'm looking for is, does anyone know what type of doctor might be open to looking for not-the-usual suspects?& I mean, I don't know where in the world I could have gotten something unusual (I've had this problem for years, long before I was sexually active), and talking to yet another gyn after& seven years of aggravation seems counter-intuitive. Thanks for your help... | 2007-04-10 06:39:16 |
| 570 | 4029 | Maybe a urologist? | 2007-04-10 12:17:26 |
| 570 | 4030 | Eh, I've tried that.& Went through a completely unnecessary (and unhelpful) uroscopy. I've also been to one doctor of infectious diseases, but he preferred to give me perscriptions rather than take cultures to figure out what exactly was going on with me. I guess the real thing I need to know is, what kind of doctor will actually tell me what's wrong with me instead of guesstimate and throw darts at the problem. ETA: Thanks for your response anyway. | 2007-04-10 12:59:10 |
| 570 | 4033 | Hi, I saw some information that indicated the test strips may not always be accurate. Please see the information linked to below: Information about UTIs [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_tract_infection]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_tract_infection [url=www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000521.htm] www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000521.htm [url=kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/utiadult/]kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/utiadult/ [url=www.hmc.psu.edu/healthinfo/uz/uti.htm] www.hmc.psu.edu/healthinfo/uz/uti.htm [url=www.emedicinehealth.com/urinary_tract_infections/article_em.htm] www.emedicinehealth.com/urinary_tract_infections/article_em.htm Information on the test strips and what they test for. [url=rnceus.com/ua/uanile.html] rnceus.com/ua/uanile.html [url=www.medscape.com/viewarticle/543934_1] www.medscape.com/viewarticle/543934_1 [url=jcm.asm.org/cgi/reprint/37/9/3051.pdf]jcm.asm.org/cgi/reprint/37/9/3051.pdf Home test strip mfg and sellers. [url=www.azoproducts.com/hometest.html] www.azoproducts.com/hometest.html [url=www.homehealth-uk.com/medical/urineinfectiontest.html] www.homehealth-uk.com/medical/urineinfectiontest.html Brad | 2007-04-10 16:59:52 |
| 571 | 3827 | I recently married my fiance of 4 years. We've always had a pretty active sex life...but we had intercourse only after the wedding. For some reason, I find intercourse very painful...even though we've done it quite a few times. Furthermore...I find myself completely uninterested in sex right now....any time we try anything - I feel very lazy about making the effort and completely uninterested. ...even if there isnt any intercourse involved....Furthermore, my vagina feels completely dry....I simply am not in the mood... Why is this happening? I just got married and I should be enjoying myself- not feeling like this...im very worried and scared that this might be a long term problem...please help.... | 2007-03-04 02:47:52 |
| 571 | 3829 | If you never had ic before you got married then it can be expected for it to be painful at first. You're vagina needs to get used to having things inserted into it, it can't just do it without pain straight away after all the years of it not having anything inside it before or only having smaller items like tampons in there. True some girls are lucky enough to have a painless first time but many are not. I suggest using fingers, vaginal trainers (dilators), to help train your vagina to stretch open and accommodate something the size of a penis. Work up in size gradually. Use plenty of lube. Some women use tapered candles and peeled down veggies with condoms on them as well. It might be this fear of the pain that is putting you off sex altogether. Even without IC, you might fear underneath that you husband will be wanting IC sometime during the session and this can cause anxiety. If you continue with the pain, your brain will soon learn to just expect it and it will instruct your vagina to clamp shut...a condition called vaginismus. When this happens, you might not be able to get a penis in at all so it is important never to put up with the pain. An examination by a doc would be helpful to be sure there is nothing physically wrong but it is most likely down to the plain old fact that your vagina isn't used to having a penis in it. It happens to lots of women but they don't talk about it so you don't know about it. I have vaginismus btw so I know alot about all of this. We are all lead to believe that we should have no problem with IC, maybe pain and bleeding first time but then fine after that. It just doesn't work that way. This is one of the pitfalls to leaving IC until after marriage unfortunately. Not that you should've done it before because waiting is always good& but our physiological needs don't always fit with moral or religious beliefs. I know lots of women in the vag support group who didn't find out they had vag until their wedding night....which obviously turned out to be a disaster...!!:( Oh, btw, if you haven't already discussed the pain with your hubby, I suggest you do. If you show a disinterest in sex and he doesn't know why, he could think other awful thoughts, start getting upset and put a strain on your relationship which is the last thing you need. If he knows it is because you are experiencing pain then he'll know it isn't him so to speak....it's a good idea to try and include him in dilating sessions and keep him up to speed with any progress and such. Also, try to avoid IC for now and let him know why. You can try again once you feel comfortable inserting objects of about the size of his penis. | 2007-03-04 11:51:35 |
| 571 | 3832 | Hi, There are many possible causes for the pain. They are addressed on the pages linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#pain1 www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin3.htm#pain2 This subject is also addressed in the Q&A area of the website: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_pain.htm Brad | 2007-03-04 15:40:20 |
| 572 | 3838 | Every time I have sex it hurts during and after.& At first I thought it was an infection but if I relax my muscles and put a hot water bottle on my abdomen the pain goes away.& What's wrong with me?:( | 2007-03-05 20:08:43 |
| 572 | 3840 | Hi, Which muscles are cramping? Stomach, pelvic, vaginal, thigh, etc. What type of sex? Intercourse, masturbation, etc. Have you experienced orgasm prior to the cramps? Brad | 2007-03-05 21:52:41 |
| 572 | 3847 | The cramps are mostly vaginal but can spread to the pelvic, thigh and lower back area.& My vagina seems to clamp shut at the start of intercourse making intercourse almost impossible. | 2007-03-06 00:51:38 |
| 572 | 3849 | Hi, Sounds like it could be vaginismus: www.vaginismus-awareness-network.co.uk/ Brad | 2007-03-06 05:05:43 |
| 573 | 3841 | I'll just jump right into it.& My girlfriend never masturbates, like ever, and never has apparently.& She finds it sick for some odd reason, probably because her genetic parents and grandparents (whom are in jail now...) always told her it was wrong.& Anyway, she said that she would like to try masturbating, but only with a toy; a vibrator, if possible.& It sounds juvenile coming out now, but I do feel threatened by this toy (which we haven't even bought, or looked for, yet).& I wasn't at the beginning, but looking around I've come across several sites saying that women can become addicted to these toys and effectively become desensitized to regular sex.& They need the toy to have orgasms from that point on, unless they stop for a few months with using it.& I'm scared that this could happen to my girlfriend... is it possible it could? Also, right now our sexual times are amazing.& I am not even kidding when I say she has hundreds of orgasms every time, and our sessions last for hours on end.& She is one of the lucky few of those women who can get off simply on penetration (although we, of course, involve many other things), and she enjoys it very much. I wonder if the reason for the amazing sex now is because she refrained from masturbation her whole life.& Does that sound unreasonable?& Maybe she is just incredibly sensitive now because of that... I just don't know.& I value her health and pleasure very much.& If this would make her happy, I would buy it for her regardless of whether or not it took me out of the sexual picture, really... I would be quite the sad panda, though.& I love being the person she can go to to make her feel good, physically as well as mentally.& Does that seem selfish...? Any advice or experiences, ladies?& That is why I placed it here, after all. :P | 2007-03-05 22:31:11 |
| 573 | 3850 | Hi, Here is a link to my survey on this subject: www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=4047207426 Brad | 2007-03-06 05:09:19 |
| 573 | 3852 | Well, that was interesting, but in the end those are just numbers from a poll. I'd prefer to hear about womens first hand experiences with this (if any). | 2007-03-06 17:37:30 |
| 573 | 3855 | Alright, since you want some real life experience I might as well help you out. I'm 20 if I haven't already told you, and I have been masturbating since I was a youngster, but didn't fully know what I was doing until middle school and that's what I like to say I started my own exploring.& 7th grade to be exact.& Well, I didn't get a toy until my 18th birthday.& It was a vibrator that could change the speeds.& I liked it also because you could change the head on it.& Anyway, I think another reason why I can't orgasm from just penetration alone is because I have masturbated for so long.& I have talked to my sister (22) about sex and she says that she can orgasm from penetration alone, but she doesn't& masturbate.& I think in some ways that masturbation can effect sexual pleasure. I had become dependent on my vibrator, at the time it didn't matter because I was the only one giving pleasure to myself.& I didn't get my first and last boyfriend until 19.& But since I have been at college, I haven't really used my toys, and I've become more sensitive in some ways.& I don't masturbate like I used to in high school.& A roomie kinda kills the moment. ;)& When I got my second vibrator, my boyfriend felt the same.& Kinda in a way rejected.& It's the male ego.& "why does she want a toy when she has me?"& kind of thing.& It's not true.& Sometimes it's just nice to get off on your own.& Don't get me wrong, I love having sex and doing many intimate things with my boyfriend, but self time can be really really good. He's still learning about my body, we've only been going out for 14 months, I do have great orgasms with him, but sometimes I get really intense ones since I know exactly how I like it without communicating.& Don't let the toy bother you, easier said than done.& But seriously, no woman can love her toy more than her lover.& I wouldn't trade my boyfriend for any toy that promises me an orgasm.& Having an intimate relationship with someone definitely beats that.& If you do plan on getting a toy together, since you said she's sensitive, it might be best to either start with something small that doesn't have strong vibes, or a vibrator that you can adjust the speed.& There are ones that have a one speed only that can be pretty powerful, they slow down as the batteries die but at first it can hurt because it's way too fast on the sensitive area.& I have tried a one speed that was really strong, and it really hurt, even with it not being direct clitoral stimulation. The small jelly like one speed vibes are nice.& For the multispeed it doesn't really matter what it's made out of, the one I had was hard plastic, it's easy to clean. I hope you both can find something that'll work out for the both of you.& Hope this helped some. | 2007-03-07 09:35:02 |
| 573 | 3860 | Thank you, Ladybug! So, it sounds like you somewhat agree that, in your experiences, masturbation can cause desensitization?& You see, there is some mentality in my head that says "this toy is trying to take over!"& But most of my thoughts fall to, "will this cause our times to be less than what they were?"& That is what I'm really scared of. We are just so great now... I don't think that a toy would be worth ruining that.& I certainly wouldn't do it if I had the choice.& She's never done it in the past... I just don't know. :( | 2007-03-07 18:44:04 |
| 573 | 3861 | [user=962]Kundalini[/user] wrote: "Thank you, Ladybug! So, it sounds like you somewhat agree that, in your experiences, masturbation can cause desensitization?& You see, there is some mentality in my head that says "this toy is trying to take over!"& But most of my thoughts fall to, "will this cause our times to be less than what they were?"& That is what I'm really scared of. We are just so great now... I don't think that a toy would be worth ruining that.& I certainly wouldn't do it if I had the choice.& She's never done it in the past... I just don't know. :( " In a way I feel it has.& I know how to pleasure myself in a way that no one can.& My love has told me he tried to use my technique, and yeah, haha, it wasn't the same.& It didn't really work either.& But there are other ways for him to please me.& Anyway, you never know, it could be a lot of fun to use together.& Sometimes my boyfriend will get one of my toys and will use it on me while performing oral sex which is great. It's a new experience, try not to think of it as something that's coming to ruin everything. :) | 2007-03-07 22:28:53 |
| 573 | 3865 | Hi, I am not aware of any scientific study that has confirmed or denied the claim that vibrators cause a loss of sensation. I suspect they raise the level of expectation. You want to use what works best. I don't believe millions of women would be using them or doctors recommending them if they were "know" to be harmful. A sex toy can never replace a partner, as for starters they can't hug back. Persons afraid of being replaced by a sex toy are basically insecure in the relationship. If you could be replaced by a sex toy you should be concerned, as then you aren't bringing much to the relationship. Harsh words but true. Brad | 2007-03-08 10:19:43 |
| 573 | 3868 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, I am not aware of any scientific study that has confirmed or denied the claim that vibrators cause a loss of sensation. I suspect they raise the level of expectation. You want to use what works best. I don't believe millions of women would be using them or doctors recommending them if they were "know" to be harmful. A sex toy can never replace a partner, as for starters they can't hug back. Persons afraid of being replaced by a sex toy are basically insecure in the relationship. If you could be replaced by a sex toy you should be concerned, as then you aren't bringing much to the relationship. Harsh words but true. Brad " Well by golly, that can cause numbness if left on the area too long. A vibrator can bring something to your body that your boyfriend can't, but also vice versa! | 2007-03-08 12:59:49 |
| 573 | 3869 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, I am not aware of any scientific study that has confirmed or denied the claim that vibrators cause a loss of sensation. I suspect they raise the level of expectation. You want to use what works best. I don't believe millions of women would be using them or doctors recommending them if they were "know" to be harmful. A sex toy can never replace a partner, as for starters they can't hug back. Persons afraid of being replaced by a sex toy are basically insecure in the relationship. If you could be replaced by a sex toy you should be concerned, as then you aren't bringing much to the relationship. Harsh words but true. Brad " If you'll notice, I never explicitly said I think it will replace me... I just said that I am scared by the thought that it would make our intimate times less than they are now. I already know fully well that if there was no sex at all in my girlfriends' and I relationship, we would still be together.& We aren't in the relationship for sex; all it does it add another layer of intimacy to it. I feel that if a vibrator can (and is known to) create a sensation that only it can make, it can harm the sexual side of a relationship.& No, this isn't "harmful" in a physical sense, so of course doctors wouldn't say not to use them.& But it could take away something that is already great.& I am proud that I can bring such pleasure to my girlfriend without any other aid, and I don't especially want that ability to be taken away from me because of a toy. Let me ask this: If a woman could choose between having great orgasms with a toy, or with a partner, what do you think she would choose?& If one can cause the other to not occur, why would they choose that option at all?& It's not like she can't still use anything else she wants, but why does it have to be something that has potential side-effects? Maybe I'll just buy her a dildo or something to that effect instead, this is causing headaches. :? Thank you all for your contributions so far, by the way.& You are being helpful, even if I don't express that very well. | 2007-03-08 17:28:32 |
| 573 | 3870 | [user=962]Kundalini[/user] wrote: "[user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, I am not aware of any scientific study that has confirmed or denied the claim that vibrators cause a loss of sensation. I suspect they raise the level of expectation. You want to use what works best. I don't believe millions of women would be using them or doctors recommending them if they were "know" to be harmful. A sex toy can never replace a partner, as for starters they can't hug back. Persons afraid of being replaced by a sex toy are basically insecure in the relationship. If you could be replaced by a sex toy you should be concerned, as then you aren't bringing much to the relationship. Harsh words but true. Brad " If you'll notice, I never explicitly said I think it will replace me... I just said that I am scared by the thought that it would make our intimate times less than they are now. I already know fully well that if there was no sex at all in my girlfriends' and I relationship, we would still be together.& We aren't in the relationship for sex; all it does it add another layer of intimacy to it. I feel that if a vibrator can (and is known to) create a sensation that only it can make, it can harm the sexual side of a relationship.& No, this isn't "harmful" in a physical sense, so of course doctors wouldn't say not to use them.& But it could take away something that is already great.& I am proud that I can bring such pleasure to my girlfriend without any other aid, and I don't especially want that ability to be taken away from me because of a toy. Let me ask this: If a woman could choose between having great orgasms with a toy, or with a partner, what do you think she would choose?& If one can cause the other to not occur, why would they choose that option at all?& It's not like she can't still use anything else she wants, but why does it have to be something that has potential side-effects? Maybe I'll just buy her a dildo or something to that effect instead, this is causing headaches. :? Thank you all for your contributions so far, by the way.& You are being helpful, even if I don't express that very well. " She may have the numbness side effect, but that's not permanent.& I just would advise her to use it not so often.& The more you use it, the more dependent you become. Kundalini, that's not good you're getting headaches from it! :( Take a deep breath and relax! :)& I don't think she would ever try to ruin what you have.& I haven't ruined what I have with my boyfriend with usage of toys.& I may just be one of those women that can't orgasm alone from penetration.& Ya know?& Don't think so much about this! | 2007-03-09 07:22:04 |
| 573 | 3871 | Oh, I know that she wouldn't purposely try to ruin anything!& Don't get me wrong with that... I just don't know if either of us fully know what effect this could have. We weren't planning on buying one for awhile, anyway, so I shouldn't worry about it.& And I know that what I imagine could happen is the far extreme of the situation, so I'm probably worrying about nothing.& What will happen, will happen I suppose. Thank you Ladybug, I'll try not to think about it so much. ;) | 2007-03-09 09:46:59 |
| 573 | 3872 | From what you have said about your relationship, I don't think she would try and do something like that. That's good that you will try not to think too much about it. :) | 2007-03-09 14:54:53 |
| 574 | 3864 | I am a 50-year old woman who has never experienced orgasm during intercourse or by oral stimulation.& The only time I have really experienced this sensation to any degree was when I was in my late teens using a powerful vibrator.& My clitoris is just not very sensitive.& It is supposed to have more nerve endings for the size of it than a man's penis has.& This is just not true in my case.& I have been using a "Hitachi Magic Wand" vibrator.& I have placed it right on my clitoris and I barely flinch.& I have disposed of the vibrator and given up on masturbation altogether.& This issue is a vicious circle.& The more I try to make something happen, the more upset I get when I can't.& The more upset I get, the less interest I have in sex and the more difficulty I have with arousal and so on.& Then this just frustrates me more. During intercourse, I have next to no sensation and oral stimulation is annoying or I don't feel anything.& My partner sucks on my clitoris, but this feels very prickly and I have to tell him to stop.& My partner tries rubbing on my "G" spot and I feel like I have to pee, but the sensation is unpleasant and I have to ask him to stop this as well.& The last few times he has rubbed on this spot, it was very painful.& & I recently learned that my partner has had several sexual partners in the past and that I am the only one who has never climaxed with him.& I feel so inadequate - this is causing me a lot of emotional distress.& I feel like giving up on sex - turning my back on it for good.& He tells me I am "the best" he has ever been with.& Wouldn't a man rather make love to a sexually responsive woman rather than one who just lies there with no reaction.& He has to ask me if I like what he is doing.& I can't fake anything, so I just tell him "it's alright".& How can I possibly be the "best".& He tells me how loving and giving I am and that other women are selfish and are just in for themselves.& I know he is trying to be supportive of me, but this does not console me at all.& & When we are together, I just keep thinking of him making love to all of these orgasmic women and how happy he must have been.& I just can't give him that kind of happiness.& He says I give him more happiness, but I find that difficult to believe. By the way, I had a hysterectomy 9 years ago.& & My family physician tells me that this should have no impact on the ability to climax.& The only difference I have found is that intercourse is no longer painful for me.& I have gone from just wanting intercourse to be over before the operation to being able to tolerate it longer after the operation.& I suppose I should be grateful for that. A climax is supposed to be the most pleasure a human being can have.& I would like to experience this with someone I care about but it seems an impossibility for me. Are there other women out there who feel like I do?& Is there hope for someone like me? | 2007-03-08 09:59:32 |
| 574 | 3876 | Hi, I believe many women share your experience but are afraid to speak out. Women today are expected to be naturally sexual and orgasmic. You provide conflicting information. You say your clitoris is numb, yet say you experience too much or the wrong type of sensation. The problem isn't that you aren't feeling anything, but rather not experiencing what you expect or want. You perhaps need to work on bringing those two things together, which involves learning how to masturbate through touch. Connecting with your body, not just using it. I am not sure why your partner would say you are the best he has ever been with unless it is because you don't place any sexual demands on him. You can't experience orgasm so don't try to control or educate him. If your ovaries were removed then the associated changes in your hormone levels may adversely affect your sexual desire, sensitivity, vaginal health, and ability to lubricate. Some additional information can be found in the articles linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/androgens.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/androgens.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/desire_indx.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/desire_indx.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_arousal.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_arousal.htm Brad | 2007-03-10 06:09:59 |
| 574 | 3888 | Hi: Thank you for your response.& I used to have a lot of discomfort during intercourse.& I have noticed that since my operation this has disappeared.& My family doctor told me years ago that I had a tipped uterus.& Do you think it was possible that my cervix was at an odd angle and that the discomfort was caused by the penis rubbing on it the wrong way. This situation is causing problems with my relationship.& I just can't get past the fact that he claims he has had sex with all of these orgasmic women and I am just the opposite.& When we are making love, this is all I am thinking about.& He gets frustrated because he tries to be supportive but nothing he says does anything to make me feel better.& Occasionally, I avoid sex with him because I am in such a state of distress, that I can't go through with it.& Sex is supposed to be a source of extreme pleasure for people, but is just a source of emotional grief for me. I feel that my situation has coloured every corner of my life.& I am not the happy person I could be because this part of my life has always been so empty and unfulfilling. I think that some of my problems are psychological.& I had older parents who wouldn't discuss sex with me.& I had very low self esteem in me teens and early twenties.& I was always told by my brother that I was ugly.& I felt so worthless.& & Could these issues be part of my problem now?& I often wonder about this.& I was ashamed of my body and I felt my genital area was dirty.& Distressed & & & & & | 2007-03-12 07:41:32 |
| 574 | 3889 | Yes,& I am sure these things could all have contributed. I have Vaginismus and this can also be brought about by such things as what you mentioned. I have no problem with arousal or orgasm...when I do it myself, lol, but I just can't have IC because of the vaginismus. Have you thought about some kind of pshychosexual therapy to help you overcome the negative thoughts and feelings that might be affecting your sex life? | 2007-03-12 11:19:10 |
| 574 | 3891 | I am on the waiting list to see a gynecologist who deals with female sexual dysfuntion issues, however, his office won't be contacting me at least until May. I am hoping this consultation will help to ease my mind somewhat. & & | 2007-03-12 14:36:31 |
| 574 | 3893 | If you do some research into these things as I have done, you come to realise that problems like this are so much more common than you think they are. There are many things about our society that messes us up in one way or another and our societys attitude to sex and the& human body& is definitely damaging. You are one of millions, certainly not alone. | 2007-03-12 18:19:37 |
| 574 | 3894 | Hi, As I mention on the website, 55% of women admit to faking orgasm at least once. Based on a survey I put together, about 1 in 10 orgasms is faked. Some women always experience orgasm, but others never experience orgasm. It is unlikely all his partner's we equally orgasmic with him. Orgasms are easy to fake, just look at all the faked orgasms in movies, mainstream and adult. Us guys are easy to fool. There are a lot of possible causes for painful penetration. I don't know if a uterus that tilts opposite of the common position is a potential cause. The pain could have been related to the reason why your uterus was removed. In the article about the First Experience of Intercourse I mention many of the possible causes of pain. Low self esteem, which is common in women, and men, does make it difficult for women to be the sexual person they can be and fulfill their sexual needs. Too many women are afraid to ask for what they want or admit that things are working for them. Men's low self esteem often results in them being unable to admit they aren't God's gift to women, and that they know nothing about their partner's sexuality or sexual needs.& There is way too much information out there that misleads women, and their partner. Brad | 2007-03-12 20:23:14 |
| 574 | 3920 | hi there, im 19 years old and ive never had an orgasism before. my boyfriend gets upset and starts to get doubts about us. i dont knoe why i dont get those feelings, neideas? | 2007-03-24 01:11:00 |
| 574 | 3939 | Hi: You are only 19 years old.& I am 50 years old and have never experienced orgasm during sexual relations.& I think there is a lot of hope for you.& I feel there is little, if any, hope for me.& I wish I had done something about this years ago.& When I was a teenager, I had very low self esteem and did not even make eye contact with boys.& I had a brother who was very verbally abusive to me and parents who turned a deaf ear to this.& I was very sensitive and I feel this was very damaging for me.& & Have you had any experiences like this?& | 2007-03-26 10:53:38 |
| 574 | 3944 | i know im only 19, but my bf thinks im not interested in sex at all becuse im not having and orgasism, but its not that at all. i use to be self-concious, but not all that much anymore. but im sick of sit now, becuase my parents are saying youll never have a bf and yadda yaada and im sick if it | 2007-03-27 20:29:03 |
| 574 | 3947 | Hi, 25 years ago only 53% of women had experienced orgasm by the age of twenty.& It wasn't until the age of 29 that 90% had.& Based on our surveys, which aren't representative of the general population, 82-85% have experienced orgasm by the age of 22. So perhaps you are expecting too much of yourself. The siginficant decrease in age at first orgasm is likely the result of female masturbation being more socially acceptable. Our surveys generally represent a subgroup of educated young women, which are probably more likely to masturbate than women as a whole. As I mention several times on the website, American society places too much emphasis on female orgasm, which puts pressure on women and their partner, and is why so many women fake orgasm. Sexual feelings and learning how to experience orgasm is addressed on the website in several places: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/tips.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/tips.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/desire_indx.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/desire_indx.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_puberty.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_puberty.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_arousal.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_arousal.htm The pressure placed on women to experience orgasm is addressed in the following article: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/q_orgasm.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/q_orgasm.htm Brad | 2007-03-28 09:25:28 |
| 574 | 4006 | Hi Again: A few days ago, my partner and I were having yet another discussion about my problems. He feels my problem is all physical, since the feelings of arousal and orgasm are so strong that they would override any psychological issues I have (ie low self esteem, etc)& I disagree completely.& The brain is the most important sexual organ.& I think it is possible to completely block any feeling in the genital area if you have suffered from extremely low self esteem and were taught that sex is dirty and that only bad girls had these feelings.& Do you think this is possible? My mind is in such a turmoil today.& Every time I bring up the subject with him, I end up feeling even worse.& I feel I am such a disappointment sexually.& There is such an importance placed on a woman's climax by the media.& When you don't have this, you feel like a failure.& He said that 18-year old girls don't get "that aroused", but by the time they hit 25 - "oh boy".& I thought that arousal was paramount to orgasm.& Yet, he is claiming that all women but me climaxed with him.& & I& felt so angry when he said this.& & This issue is causing such a rift between us.& I am getting to the point where I can barely have sex with him anymore.& I am just laying there listening to him moan and groan with ecstasy while I am feeling emotionally empty.& Sometimes I just want him to hurry up and get it over with. & Distressed & | 2007-04-09 08:14:44 |
| 574 | 4008 | I think there are plenty of 18 year old women who get very aroused | 2007-04-09 17:40:52 |
| 574 | 4075 | Hi, I would say that he is a major cause of your problems at present, as he is being counter productive. He is putting you down and comparing you to other women. This probably will not change as long as he is your partner. You need to dump him and concentrate on your needs for a while. You may feel having a partner makes you feel better about yourself, but in this case it isn't true, he is making you feel worse. If anything, your low self esteem is causing you to settle for a partner who doesn't deserve you. Brad | 2007-04-14 12:49:44 |
| 574 | 4077 | I agree, get him dumped!!!! I was 18 when I had my first orgasm and that required me to get very aroused and I was. I had orgasms everytime I masturbated from there on. It sounds like your bf thinks he knows it all but he actually seems to know very little...as is usually the way with those who make out they know the most. Those who actually know a lot also know why they don't need to advertise it which is why they are less likely to spout off to all and sundry about it. | 2007-04-14 14:14:17 |
| 574 | 4083 | I'll echo the previous two statements.& Your partner is clearly ignorant of the way women actually respond sexually, and judging by the way he seems to express these views, I very much doubt you will ever be able to change his minds. You'd be best off by getting rid of him and spending some quality time with yourself, and I don't mean masturbation.& Spend some time soul-searching and thinking about what you feel you deserve and how to make yourself happy.& Spend time working on your self-esteem.& Try to find a counselor or therapist.& Remember, talking to a counselor doesn't make you are crazy or are beyond help.& A counselor will simply guide you through the process of asking you the questions you need to ask yourself to solve your issues. A friend once told me after my first real breakup (I was totally heartbroken at the time) that you can't love someone else until you know how to love yourself.& It's really true.& Until you improve your self-esteem, you really shouldn't be worried about a relationship.& Being in a relationship will just prevent you from dealing with your own personal problems.& When you can be happy as your own self, then you don't have to rely on other people to make you happy.& It's truly liberating. | 2007-04-15 17:50:36 |
| 574 | 4086 | ;]There is a lot of pressure on women to orgasm like men in our society, and both men and women are naive when it comes to the nature of female orgasm.& First step, you have to decide that there is nothing wrong with you, there are just a few simple things you can learn about experiencing YOUR orgasm.& I have personally experienced something similar and was turned onto a research and education group called the Welcomed Consensus.& They have some incredible videos on female masturbation and for couples on female orgasm.& I have found volume 1 and 3 to be the best ones.& Feel free to ask me any questions or you can google them to find out for yourself.& Good luck! | 2007-04-15 21:18:01 |
| 574 | 4087 | there is also alot of pressure for men to orgasm like women-mainly multiple orgasm as can be found in books like Any Man Can, and stuff.... | 2007-04-15 21:32:16 |
| 574 | 4092 | Hi: Thank you very much for your response.& I& am interested in checking this out. I found Welcomed Concensus on the web, but didn't see anything on Female Sexuality.& What should I be looking for?& Distressed & & | 2007-04-16 08:18:49 |
| 574 | 4094 | Hi, I have recently gotten the Welcomed Consensus videos on masturbation and other topics and have my concerns. Each woman is shown masturbating in the exact same way, at least those that I have seen. They teach the philosophy that if you rub one area on the clitoral glans it will result in the best orgasms for all women.& I am not saying they are wrong, just find this hard to believe. Compared to Betty Dodson's videos they are pretty boring. Each woman basically lays there practically motionless for 30 minutes. I haven't finished watching all of them that I have because of this. Yes, you do get to see the changes in their vulva as the become increasingly aroused, but... When I use to visit their discussion forum I got the impression they were a cult of some type, and their videos give me weird vibes, as if something isn't quite right. Someone asked me about them once because they had come to the same conclusion. Just my opinion. Brad | 2007-04-16 10:32:30 |
| 574 | 4096 | Hi: I was wondering if anyone has ever tried creams like Zestra that you apply topically to the genital area prior to intercourse.& They are supposed to heighten sensitivity. To they work at all? & & | 2007-04-16 10:58:46 |
| 574 | 4099 | Hi, I sell them, but was reluctant to carry them. It was only after being asked about them repeatedly that I did. Below is the statement I present in my description for these items: "Please note that arousal enhancers are not under FDA control nor are they scientifically proven to work. No substance has been proven to work reliably to increase female sexual arousal. They may or may not work for you." Brad | 2007-04-16 20:48:12 |
| 574 | 4101 | Hi Brad, I hadn't been to the Welcomed Consensus discussion board,& but stopped by the Clit Board after you mentioned it. The questions and discussions& I read there were about topics such as, lubricant, how can women enjoy orgasm more,& how female orgasm& can be& more than just climaxing,& students talking about the positive effects of a recent course they attended on their relationship, how men can feel women's orgasm in their own body, experiences from videos customers after viewing some instructional videos.& Frankly I got quite a bit out of it, so I guess I don't see what you and your friend do regarding it being cult like.& They do seem to have a unique philosophy and approach to orgasm that is different from the mainstream,& and they are different from anything else& I have come across in their focus on female orgasm, but this is also exactly what I was looking for.& You could call 12-step a cult too, but it has saved a lot of lives.& It's just not for everyone!& Thanks for all your work on this forum! | 2007-04-17 18:33:34 |
| 574 | 4103 | Hi, The information you mention is valid, it was a matter of reading between the lines. Obviously two of us got the same odd vibes; the other person I don't know, they emailed me. We are talking more than 5 years ago, when I visited the forum on a regular basis. It may have had to do with how the ran the forum and deleted messages outside their point of view. Brad | 2007-04-17 19:30:45 |
| 575 | 3873 | In all the writings I've read about the G-spot, it mentions a feeling of having to pee when it's rubbed, which soon gives way to pleasurable sensations. However, with me the feeling persists, and it is very uncomfortable and reminds me of a urinary tract infection I had a while back. It's not that I'm afraid I'm going to urinate, but rather that stimulation is unpleasant for me. Has anyone else had this problem and if so, what did you do about it? Is there something wrong with me that I don't enjoy this? I feel like I'm missing out on something great. | 2007-03-09 23:18:41 |
| 575 | 3875 | Hi, I believe we have been raised to not enjoy it, and the sensation is telling us to empty our bladder. If you associate the feeling with a bad experience then you are not going to want to experience it again. It is not easy to overcome these issues, or necessarily want to. The same is true for trying to take a man's penis into your throat and overcoming your natural gag reflex. Brad | 2007-03-10 05:55:07 |
| 575 | 3878 | But it's not that I'm afraid to experience it because I'm worried I'll pee on the bed. It's that the stimulation is painful and uncomfortable for me, and it never gets any better. And I don't know how to change that. I feel like I'm defective. | 2007-03-10 08:40:53 |
| 575 | 3880 | Hi, Our pain threshhold increases with our level of desire, so try getting highly aroused before exploring gently G-Spot stimulation. Go slow, so you don't hit your tolerance level. Use your clit and mind to get going, then switch to G-Spot. Brad | 2007-03-10 09:32:32 |
| 575 | 3881 | That sounds like a good idea. Usually what I do is have an orgasm first so the spot swells and becomes more noticeable, but since I'm not multi-orgasmic nothing happens after that one orgasm. I've been experimenting with having an object inside me (like a vibrator with the vibrate turned off) while I masturbate. Do you think that will help at all? | 2007-03-10 09:37:52 |
| 575 | 3883 | Help with the sensation or having a second orgasm? | 2007-03-10 09:55:53 |
| 575 | 3884 | [user=1537]ironbutterfly[/user] wrote: "In all the writings I've read about the G-spot, it mentions a feeling of having to pee when it's rubbed" This is not what I experience. I add G-spot stimulation after I'm very aroused from lots of clitoral stimulation. It gives me these "waves" of warm pleasurable sensations up through the middle of my body. I may "push out" but I don't have the feeling of needing to pee. Are you sure you're stimulating your G-spot? Mine seems to be quite high on the front wall of my vagina, above where you feel the public bone. | 2007-03-10 10:05:27 |
| 575 | 3885 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Help with the sensation or having a second orgasm? " Both, I guess. | 2007-03-10 10:08:04 |
| 575 | 3895 | I am afraid I don't have any new or original advise on this subject. What I know is presented on the website, in the Q&A section. Perhaps other women can provide some insight. Brad | 2007-03-12 20:24:52 |
| 575 | 3899 | Thanks for the suggestion of getting aroused before trying for the G-spot. I did that last night and found the sensation was much nicer. I didn't orgasm from it but I think I could eventually. | 2007-03-16 13:16:00 |
| 575 | 3900 | Hi, I am happy to hear the advise has been of help. Take things slow and don't focus on experiencing orgasm or ejaculation. Many or most women need to awaken their G-Spot, which requires time to explore and develop their connection with it. It is something you can explore while watching a movie. In this case a suitable insertable may help. Wiggle it around, contract your pelvic muscles around it, etc. Enjoy the movie, but toy with things down there. ;) Brad | 2007-03-17 10:26:38 |
| 575 | 3927 | i've never had a g-spot orgasism, i dont even know where it i...my man dont eem to be interested in foiding..wat can i do to enjoy sex more | 2007-03-24 20:15:59 |
| 575 | 3930 | Um, find a more compatable partner. You are assuming the problem is you when it is possible that it is him. | 2007-03-25 10:08:01 |
| 575 | 3935 | hi there, i think he may of hit it once and never noticed....like i dont know wat a g-spot orgasim feels like, but he done this one thing and it felt awesome.& Was wondering if you could tell me about how it feels. thanks | 2007-03-25 23:44:06 |
| 576 | 3874 | After I have one orgasm, my clitoris doesn't get oversensitive (which is what I understand happens frequently) and I think I could have another orgasm if it wasn't for my mind. I stop being aroused after that one orgasm and no amount of touching can get me to have another. Most of the advice I've seen& has been about how to deal with an oversensitive clitoris, and I was wondering if anyone else has the problem I've described.& I've heard that a woman's orgasmic capacity increases with age; is this true? | 2007-03-09 23:22:46 |
| 578 | 3879 | my wife had cancer surgery last year - a vulvectomy and conal biopsy. there was a chance of clitoridectomy, but afterwards, the doctor said he didn't have to go that far - just removal of the hood. the question is - when we got home is was difficult to tell where her clitoris was. we waited and the swelling went down in a few weeks. even after healing i couldn't tell where it was anymore. we finally asked the doctor to point it out on her last visit. later she told me she felt something when he did. she hasn't been able to acheive an orgasm from me orally but she can with her vibrator. not that i am tired of buying batteries, but i would like her to receive an orgasm from me. if in fact she has had her clitoris removed, and since she is having what she identifies as an orgasm, can i give her one. everything is smooth now after the surgery; there is no projection or anything. her clit used to stick out. she avoids any physical contact with me other than cuddling. she doesn't want me to touch any sexual parts. & | 2007-03-10 08:44:57 |
| 578 | 3882 | Hi, Her clitoris should be located in a straight line up from her urethra about 3/4 to 1 inch. It is anchored to the pubic bone, so it's location shouldn't have changed, unless scar tissue is pulling in some direction, and then it can only go so far or she would be in pain. If the glans is intact and the hood was removed then it would perhaps change in appearence from shiny to wrinkled, as with a circumcised penis. Apply some lubricant then try to find the same spot the doctor pointed out, the spot where she felt something. If necessary, have her go back to the doctor and have him circle it with an indelible marker so you can see where when she gets home. You can& reapply the ink until you& are sure of its location. You say she doesn't permit sexual contact but you describe stimulating her sexually. Is she allowing it at certain times? You might invest in an electric vibrator to save on the cost of batteries, plus they generally work a lot better. You might explore G-Spot and cervical stimulation, as different nerves connect to them than the clitoris. Brad | 2007-03-10 09:48:53 |
| 579 | 3901 | Hi, Here is a link to an educational video guide on cunnilingus, and videos about other subjects too. The video is like 24 minutes long. [url=loveandhealth.ifriends.net/Article.cfm?Topic=2&SubTopic=18&Article=270&y=1&y=1]loveandhealth.ifriends.net/Article.cfm?Topic=2&SubTopic=18&Article=270&y=1&y=1 Brad | 2007-03-17 10:34:16 |
| 580 | 3902 | what is the make up of semen | 2007-03-17 15:21:58 |
| 580 | 3903 | As said by Ladybug: "It's all natural. Ingredients of of ejaculate: Seminal fluid which is 60% of the ejaculate: It contains: & - fructose sugar & - ascorbic acid - which is Vitamin C & - Vesiculase - which helps the sperm break through things and move forward & - Fibrinogen - protein - which helps clot Prostatic Fluid& which is 30 % of the ejaculate It contains: & - fats & - protein & - calcium & - Fibrinolysin - which breaks down the Fibrinogen blob & - Antibiotics Then there's 5% of Epidymis secretion and 5% of Cowper's gland secretion." | 2007-03-17 15:26:20 |
| 580 | 3904 | Hi the semen is mostly albumen like the egg white& and sperm. Luisa | 2007-03-17 17:31:59 |
| 580 | 3908 | Thanks Kundalini! :) | 2007-03-19 10:19:54 |
| 581 | 3906 | Does anybody know how long semen can survive after it comes in cotact with the air & & please reply | 2007-03-18 23:16:03 |
| 582 | 3907 | I found this very imformative article about masturbation. I think it was prepared mainly for younger people although is relevant for everybody.:P Masturbation. Most people do it — yet so many people worry about doing it! That's because there are a lot of myths out there that masturbation is dirty, dangerous, or something to be embarrassed about doing. But the truth is, masturbation is safe and healthy, and it's here to stay. People of all ages do it. Guys do it, and girls do it too. Single people and people in relationships do it. Some people do it a few times a day, and some do it a few times a year. Let's get to the bottom of some of the masturbation myths that make people so anxious about being caught red-handed. Myth #1: Masturbation is unhealthy. Maybe you've heard that masturbation makes you blind or damages your sex organs. This couldn't be further from the truth. Masturbation is not physically harmful in any way. In fact, it has a number of physical and mental health benefits — here are just a few: * Masturbation releases stress and physical tension. Many people masturbate to relax, and it can help some people fall asleep. * Orgasms — whether they're from masturbation or sex play with a partner — can act as a natural painkiller. One study from 2001 found that orgasm can ease migraines faster than medication. Some women masturbate to relieve menstrual cramps. Research has also shown that orgasms may even prevent endometriosis, a disease of the uterine lining. * One recent study found that frequent ejaculation from masturbating may reduce a man's chances of developing prostate cancer. Plus, masturbation is the ultimate form of safer sex — there is no risk of pregnancy or infection. Myth #2: Only people who can't "get any" masturbate. Here's an interesting fact — people who have regular sex partners actually masturbate more often than those who don't. Some people are concerned when they find out their partners masturbate — they wonder, "Why would someone masturbate when they could just have sex? Does this mean that my partner isn't attracted to me?" But many people — both in relationships and single — masturbate when their partners are unavailable. Some use masturbation as a kind of "dress rehearsal," to learn more about what they find pleasurable. People can learn about their bodies through masturbating, and this can help them communicate better with their partners about what they enjoy sexually. Myth #3: Girls don't masturbate. Some people think that it's OK for guys to masturbate and have sex, but that girls shouldn't. Unfortunately, our society is often more comfortable with men expressing their sexuality than with women, so many girls are taught not to masturbate — or not to admit to doing it. But the truth is, girls and women do masturbate, and there's no reason they shouldn't. In fact, one study showed that women who masturbate have higher self-esteem than those who don't. Myth #4: It's bad to masturbate every day. Some people masturbate every day — or even more than once a day. That's fine. So is there such a thing as "too much" masturbation? According to counselors, it's only when masturbation gets in the way of daily activities — like going to school or work, or meeting friends — that it would be considered "too much." And not many people have that problem. Also, some people worry that masturbating frequently will affect a girl's fertility or a guy's ability to produce sperm. It doesn't. A guy may find that he has less volume of semen if he ejaculates frequently, and his semen may contain less sperm. But that doesn't mean that his sperm count will be reduced in the future. The testicles produce and store sperm beginning at puberty, and sperm production continues through most of adult life. So forget those rumors of hairy palms and shrinking penises. Masturbation is a safe and healthy way to relieve sexual tension, explore our sexuality, and discover what feels good. | 2007-03-19 06:34:12 |
| 582 | 3986 | masturbation is fine, especially when you can't get the real thing, because nothing is better than the real thing so I've heard. | 2007-04-06 23:00:31 |
| 582 | 3994 | Masturbation has gotten a nasty rep over time, and you have to wonder why. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I, unfortuneately, was raised in an environment that looked down upon it.& Now I have a guilt complex associated with masturbation, which essentially makes me never want to do it. I don't view people who do it as being "less than" at all, I actually view them as "better than."& I wish I could masturbate without feeling guilty, but alas.& As windryder put it, the real thing is infinitely better anyway, so I have no need to worry about this now, but this problem hit me really hard before I fell in love and became sexual in that way. Er, kind of off-topic, but I felt like sharing.& Hell, it's late, my mind is wandering. Conclusion: Don't be ashamed of masturbating.& I'm going to make sure that my children aren't ashamed of their sexuality in any fashion, and are able to masturbate without guilt like me. Okay, I'm done. | 2007-04-07 00:36:22 |
| 582 | 3995 | "* One recent study found that frequent ejaculation from masturbating may reduce a man's chances of developing prostate cancer." - From a previous post. My doctor told me this years ago during a physical exam... I never felt any hesitation to get a grip on things if the urge hit (in the appropriate place) but now I do it knowing it's a medically approved proceedure. ;) | 2007-04-07 00:47:38 |
| 582 | 4021 | I wish masturbation would help my self-esteem.:( | 2007-04-10 07:00:34 |
| 582 | 4027 | Yeah same here. I do it and enjoy it but it doesn't make me feel any better about myself and I still have vaginismus to go along with it.:(& I suppose I'm in a better position than if I never did it mind. I might not have gotten to know my body to the extent I have without it. Every little helps, I suppose. It just hasn't helped me to enjoy such a situation with a guy. | 2007-04-10 09:22:05 |
| 582 | 4028 | "I do it and enjoy it but it doesn't make me feel any better about myself" Me neither. I like it fine and I was never given the message that it was bad, but it doesn't make me feel& better about myself or give me a special glow like I was once told it would. | 2007-04-10 09:46:35 |
| 582 | 4032 | [user=558]Jah[/user] wrote: "I wish masturbation would help my self-esteem.:(" I've never heard of anyone who said masturbation helped with self-esteem, at least not directly.& It can help you become more sexually attuned, which could lead to better sex, which might have an effect on your self esteem... but the act itself?& I really don't think so, although I know for some people it can lower self esteem. For those who were raised to feel guilty and believe masturbation is wrong there is a lot of shame and self-loathing that comes with masturbation.& For those who don't believe there is anything to be ashamed of in masturbation, I think it is predominantly a fun little distraction or just another part of sexuality. If anything, I would think that higher self esteem would result in better masturbation than the other way around. | 2007-04-10 15:52:44 |
| 582 | 4035 | I felt so guilty that I stopped.& But I feel guilt with any sexual act. | 2007-04-10 19:02:35 |
| 582 | 4036 | You really ought to find a counselor or therapist to figure out and get over your guilt.& | 2007-04-10 19:23:26 |
| 582 | 4076 | Hi, The last women I had sexual contact with felt extremely guilty afterwards and since she has her own mores and expectations of herself there was little I could do to change this. We didn't go as far as she wanted, but still she did things she felt were wrong. She believes what she believes. So the solution usually needs to come from within, or those who made you feel guilty say it is okay for you to do what you did or want to do. When religion is the cause and you are a firm believer in everything that religion presents as fact then you are in a difficult situation, which isn't to say the religon is wrong. If your parents de-sexed you from birth on then it can be difficult to overcome that when and if your strike out on your own as adult. If you don't assume a new identity during adolescence then it may be difficult to do this as an adult. In some cases it is simply a matter of your parents, partner, or peers giving you permission to be sexual, and to acknowledge that they too are sexual in the same way. You can tell women that 80-90% of their peers masturbate but that doesn't always resolve the guilt associated with them masturbating. Their morals may prevent them from watching sexual activity so they cannot witness their peers engaging in these activities, but sometimes even watching sexual activity doesn't change things. Here is a link to an article about guilt: [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilt]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilt Brad | 2007-04-14 13:05:57 |
| 582 | 4583 | I never believed that masturbation helped my self esteem but relieved stress... I used it for years while in a sexless marriage. I always thought sex was a normal part of life but my (now) ex- didn't, so I was left to my own devices for an outlet. I always thought I was wierd until I met someone else who endured a sexless marriage. She told me many nights she would lay in bed next to her husband and masturbate until she came and never got a reaction from him. I did the same thing with my ex-, she never reacted to me masturbating in bed next to her. How the hell can you lay in bed next to someone and not get turned on while they're masturbating? There's something wrong with that picture! Because of other events in life and not finding someone interested in dating me, I still use masturbation as an outlet (in addition to what my doctor told me about masturbation being good for prostate health). When I start to date again, I'll continue to masturbate, whether or not they want to participate with me. I'll certainly make the offer to join me and see what happens!& | 2007-07-28 21:02:03 |
| 582 | 4585 | [user=640]Enjoy[/user] wrote: "I found this very imformative article about masturbation. I think it was prepared mainly for younger people although is relevant for everybody.:P Masturbation. Most people do it — yet so many people worry about doing it! That's because there are a lot of myths out there that masturbation is dirty, dangerous, or something to be embarrassed about doing. But the truth is, masturbation is safe and healthy, and it's here to stay. People of all ages do it. Guys do it, and girls do it too. Single people and people in relationships do it. Some people do it a few times a day, and some do it a few times a year. Let's get to the bottom of some of the masturbation myths that make people so anxious about being caught red-handed. Myth #1: Masturbation is unhealthy. Maybe you've heard that masturbation makes you blind or damages your sex organs. This couldn't be further from the truth. Masturbation is not physically harmful in any way. In fact, it has a number of physical and mental health benefits — here are just a few: * Masturbation releases stress and physical tension. Many people masturbate to relax, and it can help some people fall asleep. * Orgasms — whether they're from masturbation or sex play with a partner — can act as a natural painkiller. One study from 2001 found that orgasm can ease migraines faster than medication. Some women masturbate to relieve menstrual cramps. Research has also shown that orgasms may even prevent endometriosis, a disease of the uterine lining. * One recent study found that frequent ejaculation from masturbating may reduce a man's chances of developing prostate cancer. Plus, masturbation is the ultimate form of safer sex — there is no risk of pregnancy or infection. Myth #2: Only people who can't "get any" masturbate. Here's an interesting fact — people who have regular sex partners actually masturbate more often than those who don't. Some people are concerned when they find out their partners masturbate — they wonder, "Why would someone masturbate when they could just have sex? Does this mean that my partner isn't attracted to me?" But many people — both in relationships and single — masturbate when their partners are unavailable. Some use masturbation as a kind of "dress rehearsal," to learn more about what they find pleasurable. People can learn about their bodies through masturbating, and this can help them communicate better with their partners about what they enjoy sexually. Myth #3: Girls don't masturbate. Some people think that it's OK for guys to masturbate and have sex, but that girls shouldn't. Unfortunately, our society is often more comfortable with men expressing their sexuality than with women, so many girls are taught not to masturbate — or not to admit to doing it. But the truth is, girls and women do masturbate, and there's no reason they shouldn't. In fact, one study showed that women who masturbate have higher self-esteem than those who don't. Myth #4: It's bad to masturbate every day. Some people masturbate every day — or even more than once a day. That's fine. So is there such a thing as "too much" masturbation? According to counselors, it's only when masturbation gets in the way of daily activities — like going to school or work, or meeting friends — that it would be considered "too much." And not many people have that problem. Also, some people worry that masturbating frequently will affect a girl's fertility or a guy's ability to produce sperm. It doesn't. A guy may find that he has less volume of semen if he ejaculates frequently, and his semen may contain less sperm. But that doesn't mean that his sperm count will be reduced in the future. The testicles produce and store sperm beginning at puberty, and sperm production continues through most of adult life. So forget those rumors of hairy palms and shrinking penises. Masturbation is a safe and healthy way to relieve sexual tension, explore our sexuality, and discover what feels good. " Hmm..I don't know, I read what you wrote..How exactly does it relieve migraines? It possibly cannot while you have a migraine. Sure, there are different levels for migraines, but be aware..majority of people who have it, don't do a lot of moving around. You need to be in a completely dark room, no sound, no smell, nothing. Migraines and masturbation, I just can't see together. I disagree with that study! lol. Everytime I did masturbate, lol, it sure as heck made me more..easier to be around with, let's just say that! lol. | 2007-07-28 22:33:16 |
| 582 | 4586 | I've never had a migrane but a day and a half after my vasectomy, even with ice on my 'affected area', I masturbated and relieved pressure in the affected area. I find the part about migranes a little hard to believe but it did work for me... I'm glad I didn't tear any sutures, I don't know how I would have explained that to the doctor. | 2007-07-28 23:06:07 |
| 582 | 4587 | [user=1136]desertboy[/user] wrote: "I've never had a migrane but a day and a half after my vasectomy, even with ice on my 'affected area', I masturbated and relieved pressure in the affected area. I find the part about migranes a little hard to believe but it did work for me... I'm glad I didn't tear any sutures, I don't know how I would have explained that to the doctor." lol. We all have our "little things". The reason I find it hard to believe, at least I get em, I know how painful they are. If moving one of my fingers hurts me, the way I masturbate is going to be a BIGGER issue. lol. | 2007-07-28 23:26:30 |
| 582 | 4631 | [user=2247]DeutschesMaedchen[/user] wrote: "[user=1136]desertboy[/user] wrote: "I've never had a migrane but a day and a half after my vasectomy, even with ice on my 'affected area', I masturbated and relieved pressure in the affected area. I find the part about migranes a little hard to believe but it did work for me... I'm glad I didn't tear any sutures, I don't know how I would have explained that to the doctor." lol. We all have our "little things". The reason I find it hard to believe, at least I get em, I know how painful they are. If moving one of my fingers hurts me, the way I masturbate is going to be a BIGGER issue. lol."I wake up in the morning with a strong erection and a headache, severe pain behind the eyes maybe it is not as severe as a migraine which is blinding, I used to get them, however since it is a strong erection I masturbate untill it goes limp. This can take from 10 to 30 minutes and usually my headache disappears too. I do have orgasm feelings when I masturbate and have learned not to ejaculate. By this I mean I experience very strong sensations around my testicles leading up from the base of my penis to the glans. I have pelvic thrusts and quickened heart beat with faster deeper breathing. The sensations are very enjoyable. I accept that total ejaculation is even more intense with similiar sensations originating around the base of the penis and testicle area leading to the feeling of sperm accumulaing around the base giving a sensational full pressure feeling as it travels along the canal inside the penis and the massive ecstatic sensation as it explodes out of the head of the glans. It is sensational and the feeling following of intense relief and relaxation& cannot be described only experienced. However with my more regular orgasms I get to experience more regular masturbating occasions. I guess and fantasize that these type of orgasms may be like females who also orgasm without any fluid emission. Perhaps it is also my masturbation techniques which I have expanded on over the years. I had a partner who liked to massage all ovet my penis without ever 'rubbing' the skin. She was very proficient in raising my erection to an intense size and maintaining it for a substantial amount of time without me ever feeling the need to ejaculate. I now practice on my own although I do not have the same strength in my fingers so conbine it with the traditional 'rubbing' of skin. I really believe that the most intense sexual experience is gained through personal masturbation, where I can feel all over my body and experience the most fullfilling fantasies(which in real life I would never encounter). By personal masturbation you can have control over your physical and mental self without ever feeling that you have to please your partner. I do like intercourse too of course with the greatest part being the 'loving communication' during the warm, siky smooth action. I believe this is the best way to develop an understanding, emotional depth of knowledge about each other. I & know that the regular encounter is for couples to have sex as soon as possible and as often as possible, I even used to enjoy it 3 times a night 24/7, I've expanded my thoughts more now though and think it is really great if couples can expeirence their emotions more. I know Canis Lupess feeling of not being able to have intercourse as she has vaginismus would possibly agree that a sincere emotional exchange would be more fullfilling. As for 'self esteem' By learning and experiencing your own body only leads to a greater knowledge and understanding of 'how my body works' and 'why I like doing what I do'. Every person who can learn to 'love' themselves ( I don't mean a sarcastic small minded idiot) will always be able to stand tall with other people and feel easy about talking to strangers. I can now talk to any one, friend or stranger, about any subject that is asked of me. I couldn't do that at an earlier stage in my life, I hated being 'seen' let alone talk to someone. | 2007-08-10 23:23:00 |
| 584 | 3911 | hi guys, i'm new to this forum so apols if you've heard this all before! i was wondering if any of you have any experience of the use of hypnotherapy for primary anorgasmia? i'm having my first session this friday, and just wanted any ideas if you had any! I have tried psychosexual counselling, which came to nothing, and all physical problems have been ruled out. I think my anorgasmia is probably related to my having had an imperforate hymen (which was successfully removed when i was 18) and subsequent vaginismus (which i got over in about 6 months after the operation). any thoughts, advice or comments would be really appreciated! thanks, CCord | 2007-03-21 16:55:07 |
| 586 | 3915 | Hi, I received the following email: I have a question about vagina size. Is it true that the vagina can become looser or tighter during different time of the month? The vagina goes through a lot of different changes during her cycle, right? But does this affect how loose/tight it is? Or is this a sign that the girl is sleeping around? Sometimes I noticed her vagina is loose even though we haven't have sex in a week or two, but then sometimes it becomes tighter even if we haven't have sex for only a few days. My question is, does the tightness or muscular tension of your vagina and pelvic muscles vary in relation to your menstrual cycle? It should vary with your level of sexual arousal. If you have healthy muscle tone, not too tight or relaxed, then it seems your vagina would be pretty relaxed and somewhat open, as in things like fingers and tampons would slip in easily. Based on what I know, being always "tight" isn't healthy. The tightness of the vagina isn't really related to sexual experience so much as the health of the muscles themselves. A virgin can have tight or relaxed pelvic muscles, and the same for a woman who has given birth to one or more children. Thanks for your input. Brad | 2007-03-23 09:12:13 |
| 586 | 3942 | From my own experiences, no it has nothing to do with tightness. Exercising the muscles will only make it different.& & I used to think I was tight, but since I've been exercising a lot since January, I've come to realize now that I'm toning my body, I'm actually feeling more in the pelvic region a lot better.& The vaginal muscles are becoming tighter as well. The only way I'd say it changes in tightness is during sex.& Certain parts of the vagina such as the inner 2/3 of the vagina balloon, and the first inner 1/3 actually should tighten when the female is aroused. Plus, the cervix does dilate a little, and the uterus raises up in an erect position to make it easier for conception. So to answer your question, no.& Time of the month has nothing to do with the tightness of the vagina. | 2007-03-26 13:13:32 |
| 586 | 3943 | It may also be down to how aroused she is at each particular occasion. The more aroused you are, the more your vagina balloons. The only thing I heard of that changes maybe as a result of the monthly cycle is that some women can be a bit dry after their period if they used tampons which absorb all the moisture. Other than that, I don't know of anything. | 2007-03-26 17:41:31 |
| 586 | 3985 | when forced into a situation like rape, is it possible for the vagina to close tightly, thus preventing penetration? Or even making intercourse difficult and painful for the male? | 2007-04-06 22:58:58 |
| 586 | 4023 | [user=1758]windryder[/user] wrote: "when forced into a situation like rape, is it possible for the vagina to close tightly, thus preventing penetration? Or even making intercourse difficult and painful for the male?" Yes, it is possible.& It can tear the skin. | 2007-04-10 07:42:13 |
| 586 | 4073 | Hi, Vaginismus is an involuntary condition where the pelvic muscles contact preventing penetration of the vagina. It is triggered by the fight or flight part of the nervous system. I don't know how often it is triggered during rape. Some may assume incorrectly that if the vagina doesn't clamp closed then penetration was on some level desired. The condition of a woman's pelvic muscles may determine if they have the strength to prevent penetration. Brad | 2007-04-14 12:32:44 |
| 586 | 4085 | In a way vaginal tightness in "involuntary" response when intercoure is not welcome that does not only apply in dramatic as a situation as rape.& It can also, and does happen when a woman is not really interested in that particular sex act at that particular time, or if there is withheld communication.& Something you did that upset& or angered her, or something she perceived you did or said.. It could be there is an unresolved issue in the relationship or a genuine concern that may or may not be relevant in the current situation.& My personal example of this is having had a hysterectomy and a year later I still experienced tight, even uncomfortable intercourse most of the time.& Once i identified that right after my surgery I was apprehensive about how it would feel where my cervix once was located now it had been taken out, would it hurt, would I feel scare tissue, would it be more sensational, etc, and we talked about it, it resolved itself over a few week period.& Basically, my body for got it no longer needed to protect itself against injury and until I was conscious of it's cause it felt automatic. Hope this makes sense and is of some help. | 2007-04-15 21:03:44 |
| 587 | 3916 | Why is cunnilingus shunned by so many males? Personally I find it great fun, but so many other guys seem to feel it imacualtes themselves by performing on their partners. What is the reason behind this? :? | 2007-03-23 15:35:20 |
| 587 | 3917 | Wow, is that really true? If so, what a crying shame!& They have no idea what they are missing out on (both them and their partners...). I go down on my girlfriend all the time, and I enjoy every second of it.& Her texture, her taste, her smell, the grinding of her hips with pleasure... it is so erotic to me. And tomorrow I am planning a special day for her involving this, for hours and hours and hours! :) Guys really need to stop with the masculinity complex, it is a horrid creation of man. | 2007-03-23 16:34:54 |
| 587 | 3918 | Yeah...a lot of guys I know think it's wrong...:? Who know why lol :P Great fun :D | 2007-03-23 16:57:10 |
| 587 | 3924 | Any guys here have an edible lubricant they enjoy? Now that I'm older, I really need extra lubrication. K-Y may be non-toxic, but I'm pretty sure it tastes nasty. I'm not actually very fond of K-Y anyway as it's a little sticky. Is there a lubricant that works well and tastes good too? | 2007-03-24 14:10:49 |
| 587 | 3925 | Hi, K-Y tastes horrible. :-& I just tried 3 of the Wet brand of flavored lubricants and they were all nice, but people have individual tastes, as whether they like cherry, alcohol flavored drinks, etc. The Wet brand of products is carried by many sellers of adult products. Brad | 2007-03-24 16:23:31 |
| 587 | 3949 | I tried answering a similar question last week and my post was taken down not for lack factuality but for the sake of political correctness.& If I thought it would stand a chance of staying up, I would re post it. Sorry. Sometimes the facts are just the facts and nothing more.& I don't understand why some people don't understand that. Regards, KJ | 2007-03-29 14:18:20 |
| 588 | 3928 | hi all I have problem with orgasm.& When i do it with my bf, i always took a long time to get my orgasm. And mostly, he has ejaculate before i get my "O" Is there something with me ? Pls help. But sometimes i feel that my bf has also problem with his ejaculation. Thanks for help. | 2007-03-25 05:44:36 |
| 588 | 3931 | Hi, You don't say how long is too long. It is not unsual for women to take 20 to 60 minutes to experience orgasm during partned sex. Most women require direct clitoral stimulation, or vaginal/G-Spot stimulation, to experience orgasm during partnered sex. Vibrators provide intense stimulation that usually reduces the time necessary to reach orgasm. Brad | 2007-03-25 10:11:24 |
| 588 | 3932 | Your partner should really enjoy to give you pleasure, and so they should put more effort towards giving you an orgasm. Does your partner ever perform oral on you or finger you?& Do they know very much about your body, enough to know where to press and such? You should bring this subject up with your partner, as they may not even know that you aren't enjoying yourself. | 2007-03-25 11:37:26 |
| 588 | 3937 | Your partner should really enjoy to give you pleasure, and so they should put more effort towards giving you an orgasm. Yes, he has done it, and he will feel quilty if i can't reach my O. Does your partner ever perform oral on you or finger you?& Sometimes when i cant get my o but he has ejaculate first he do the fingering. Hmm, i dont feel comfortable with oral,& i& have no self confidence,& i am affraid he will not like the smell of mine down there. And if& he did the oral, after the foreplay,& mine will& get& very wet and i dont know about the smell, i dont think that he will like it.& cos my BF is very neat person.& He always wash his penis after sex. Do they know very much about your body, enough to know where to press and such? Hmm, i think so.. there's only one position that i can get my O. Sitting position. You should bring this subject up with your partner, as they may not even know that you aren't enjoying yourself. I am afraid if i too much i talk, i will make him dissapointed, cos he will feel that he's useless, he can't make me happy. He will blame him self, why he always get fast ejaculate. Another additional question : He said that my V is still tight, that's why he always get fast ejaculate, even we always use condom when we do it. Do you have any tips for this problem? Sometime. we have just done it for 5 minutes and he feel he gonna ejaculate. Many thanks. & For Brad, yep, i can take more than 30 minutes to get my O. & | 2007-03-26 07:51:57 |
| 588 | 3938 | Your partner needs to stop racing towards ejaculation!& No matter how tight you are, him ejaculating after 5 minutes is not right (unless he suffers from premature ejaculation, of course...)! You should bring up with him oral sex in some fashion.& You shouldn't feel so nervous and embarassed talking about sexual things with your partner.& I'm sure he would love your smell and taste, so don't worry about it!& Most guys find it to be a major turn on. ;) Even if you think it would make him feel "worthless" you need to bring up this issue with him.& Would you prefer to never enjoy sex with him for the rest of the time you're together?& You can't just stay quiet on the issue!& Also, if he truly cares about you, he won't think of it as you telling him he's "worthless" but as an opportunity to learn about your body and make you feel great. I also recommend that your boyfriend and you look into Tantra some, it could help with the length of your sexual encounters. sivasakti.com/articles/tantra/introduction-to-tantra-art01.html The topics are on the left side.& Good luck with everything! | 2007-03-26 09:42:26 |
| 588 | 4068 | Hi, Kundalini.. & Many thanks for the reply.. I will try to communicate with him. Anyway, yes i think my bf is suffering for the premature ejaculation. i have just posting a new topic for this issue. Pls kindly give input too. & Many Thanks, Kaio | 2007-04-14 06:30:25 |
| 589 | 3950 | Hi, Here is a link an interesting G Rated video. [url=www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat4.asp?id=6909] www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat4.asp?id=6909 Brad | 2007-03-29 15:26:21 |
| 589 | 3951 | It makes me happy to see such a large company as Dove taking on an issue like that so boldly. | 2007-03-29 19:27:10 |
| 589 | 3959 | Yes, I have seen that also. Just goes to show. Mind, they did purposely use somebody of more average appearance and do more work on them whereas a lot of actual models would probably look a bit better than her to start with and so they wouldn't have to do so much work but, of course, they still do it. Make legs longer, get rid of wrinkles and fine lines, smooth the skin extra, alter an already perfectly fine nose. Still, even though this type of thing makes people angry, those same people would probably be the first to moan when they use a less than perfect model in these campaigns and bitch about how ugly she is. I hear people doing it all the time and it's that which pisses me off more. An example is where Brit& actress keira knightly, who is flat chested, had a photo of herself from the film king Arthur& altered so that she had a C cup chest but only in the States, "Women", find it offensive if there is a woman on a magazine cover or anything with boobs smaller than that!!!!!! In the UK, she was left with her flat chest. She seemed to find it a bit stupid that the States required her to have boobs at least a C cup for her to conform to expectations. It's weird how she was told that research had shown it was women who found it a problem and not men. Still, I have seen photos of certain known models where they have been airbrushed so much, their noses and such& look totally different. In fact, they look better in real life than they do in the overly airbrushed photo of themselves. | 2007-03-31 12:21:39 |
| 590 | 3953 | How do you handle those times when your partner just isn't in the mood for one reason or another and you are REALLY horny and just want to get off? Do you go to another room? Do you close the door? If you're normally loud do you try to keep it quite so that your partner doesn't hear? Do you tell him what you're off to do? Do you just get down to buisness right where you are wether he's there in front of you or not and don't care what he thinks, maybe secretly hoping he'll get in the mood and join in? Vice versa advice works as well. ;o) | 2007-03-30 08:10:58 |
| 593 | 3957 | There has been a story in the papers the last year or so dealing with statutory rape.& Essentially there was a thiry-something woman on the other side of the county who was essentially banging half of the football team at her local highschool and buying them alcohol.& She also paid one of them to take the other boys home one night because her husband was coming home from work.& The boy driving, who was 18, rolled the car (they had all been drinking), and the whole story came out when the police showed up for the accident. This post isn't really about what she did, though, it's about the law.& In today's paper, the front page included a story about this woman pleading guilty to having sex with two minors and buying alcohol for something like half a dozen minors.& The thing is, her plea deal is getting her only a year in jail, much less than the maximum sentence, nor does she have to register as a sex offender. The hypocrisy lies in the fact that the woman is the adult and the males are the minors.& However, if a 35 year old man had been caught having sex with a single 16 year old girl, he would probably have received the maximum penalty.& If a 35 year old man had been giving booze to the local cheerleading squad and had been sleeping with them, the community would be after his blood and he would be facing a whole lot of jail time and would definitely be considered a sex offender and would have to register. I'm not suggesting that a man like that ought to be let off lightly like this woman is, either.& My problem is that the woman is getting off incredibly lightly for the mere fact that she is a woman.& Every so often you hear about a situation like this, and someone always says something to the effect that boys are horny and they want it so it's not a big deal.& Well, while it's true that a teenage boy is horny all the time, that really isn't an excuse.& Teenage girls are horny as well, though they may not express it in the same way.& In either case, the laws have nothing to do with the wants of the minors and everything to do with their emotional maturity and their ability to make adult decisions regarding sex.& Since we all know that boys typically lag behind girls in emotional maturity, a rational approach would suggest that a 16 year old boy might actually be less capable of making such a decision at that age than a girl. What does everyone else think about this? | 2007-03-30 16:05:04 |
| 593 | 3958 | I agree that she shouldn't be treated lightly just because she is female over this. She knew she shouldn't have done any of what she did. I can't really see them making a change to the attitude in society about older people wanting some young meat to screw if they only penalize one sex for doing it and let the other off. Yes, women want to be equal so they'll just have to be treated as such for it to really work. It's things like this that help fuel the continuation of sexism and the likes. I agree that it is more common the other way around because girls usually want to date older guys when they are still minors because they find boys their own age too immature but the downside to dating older guys is that they expect sex. Boys are less likely to have older GFs because many girls wants older more mature BFs. You get your exceptions mind...like the said woman in your post. Also, I think people allow the fact that males are the more physically strong sex to cloud their judgement over the issue. They think if an older woman beds a male who's a minor, it isn't so bad because he's male and could probably still physically overpower her anyway but they view young girls with older men as being totally vulnerable...like they are too weak to say no even if they wanted to. I know this isn't necessarily the case but I have a feeling this does influence the general attitude of people. | 2007-03-31 12:10:48 |
| 593 | 3961 | If& I tell you I was 16yo during the second world war you'll know I'm a fair age. The young married woman who lived next door husband was away overseas. I all started when& I sat with her to keep her company in the even, she used to breast feed he baby in my presence, this developed& and she& encouraged me& to caress her breasts,over time she we progressed to her vagina. There was never any penatration. But she taught about the clitoris which she referred to as "the little man in the boat" a term I've used with many women since. what she taught me then has benefitted many girl friends since as well my wife, there are advantages | 2007-04-02 11:10:25 |
| 594 | 3962 | Hi, Here is a link to video in which a woman recounts her first experience with vaginal intercourse that didn't quite live up to her expectations or the hype. [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/464435/my_first_time_hell_o_kitty/] www.metacafe.com/watch/464435/my_first_time_hell_o_kitty/ Here are a couple more along the same lines: [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/464171/my_first_time_cowabungal/] www.metacafe.com/watch/464171/my_first_time_cowabungal/ [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/464160/my_first_time_rozez4u/] www.metacafe.com/watch/464160/my_first_time_rozez4u/ Girl/Girl [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/464179/my_first_time_jbdamned/] www.metacafe.com/watch/464179/my_first_time_jbdamned/ Brad | 2007-04-02 23:15:37 |
| 594 | 3963 | The first one wouldn't play for me for some reason. The others played ok. I think it's more common than many people would admit that the first time isn't really all that great. | 2007-04-03 06:40:17 |
| 594 | 3982 | Shouldn't people get married before having sex? I find it wrong and kind of disgusting when people have more than one sex partner. I feel when two have sex, there's an emotional bond that change people, as well as chemical mixing that give psychological changes so they would never be the same. I've read in the bible that says when two people have sex, there's a spiritual bonding to the effect that one becomes "whole." | 2007-04-06 22:51:12 |
| 595 | 3964 | ok my GF has a big clitoral hood and fairly big inner labia. she feels really self conscious about her vulva because of this. she says when she was around 5 years old she remembers touching her vulva and pulling on it, making her inner labia and clitoral hood big. 1st thing, is this actually possible... cos i don't think it is. 2nd thing, how do i make her more comfortableabout her vulva, cos i see nothing wrong with it. | 2007-04-03 07:21:33 |
| 595 | 3965 | Vulvas do vary a great deal and I'm sure that it wasn't caused by her pulling on it etc... The vulva doesn't develop into it's proper adult appearance until puberty anyway and look a lot different in a child. You can try showing her the page of vulva photos in brads site...can't remember link right now but he may pop in here and provide it. It demonstrates the natural variation so she can realise that she isn't so abnormal after all. Tell her NOT to go by the typical diagrams you see because they are just a generic thing that only represent a very small minority of vulvas that would only actually look like that if held apart with fingers. | 2007-04-03 11:02:13 |
| 595 | 3969 | Here are the links: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/c_size.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/body_indx.htm Brad | 2007-04-03 19:21:18 |
| 595 | 3971 | yeah i try and tell her all these things, but she INSISTS that her vulva looked like that when she was younger though obviously not as big. | 2007-04-04 00:08:00 |
| 595 | 3972 | Well, the skin down there is stretchy. But she didn't stretch it out. Nothing you say is going t ohelp her until she realizes it on her own. | 2007-04-04 07:28:31 |
| 599 | 3970 | Hello and a very nice site this is!(just been looking at the masturbation section..so many women have told me "Never done it!"..).Anyway my query is in regard to what women wear.How it makes them feel.What,if any,are the expected responses to wearing a certain garment?Do certain clothes attract certain types of friends/lovers?Do women develop fetishes for certain clothes? I ask these questions because from the time I was 7 I have& had a ribbed poloneck fetish.I have worn my mothers(she knew),my girlfriends(they knew) and have felt the sexiest feelings& this way,even hornier than regular sex.When I masturbate& my fantasies revolve around polonecks.I'm a member of some discussion groups and the stem of this fetish is elusive. When I'm out socialising I& have noticed& that there is always more than one person wearing a turtleneck in a group of women.It can't be co-incidental.Do women feel& sexy wearing them?Do women who have this fetish gravitate to each other?Are they sending a message to potential lovers about their preferences? When a woman asks me "what are you into?" I always answer honestly and they& think it's kinky,fun and harmless.When I volunteer this information unsolicited the response is usually one of sarcastic bemusement.This is a dividing line-the& female who wants to know your sex buttons and participate and the ones who don't want to know so don't open up. Strangely the women who have been most enthusiastic about this fetish(modified peep holes,cock under collar bj's,cross dressing)have shown a preference for submissiveness.Again why? Okay, no more questions for the moment.Maybe someone can help me out here.& Thanks for having me, & **Mary Quirke** | 2007-04-03 22:36:24 |
| 600 | 3973 | Hi girls! To reach orgasme I really depend on contracting my pelvic muscles very much. Just feeling that I have to pump blood into my abdomen/genitals to reach the top. This makes me quite exhausted when making love... Does anybody of you has some good advice on how I could increase blood circulation to the genitals? Has anybody of you tried Viagra? Did it increase blood flow to your vagina? Looking forward to your answers! :-) & | 2007-04-05 04:49:43 |
| 600 | 3974 | Hi, With pelvic muscle contractions you are creating muscular tension rather than increased blood flow, and this may actually decrease blood flow, as the blood vessels may be constricted. It is the muscular tension that results in orgasm, not blood flow. Increased blood flow is responsible for increased sensitivity and lubrication. Viagra can increase blood flow, by suppressing the hormone that turns blood engorgement off, i.e. turns an erection off. Viagra does have an affect on women, but it is not a miracle cure. It worked best for women who use to have satisfactory sexual function. Viagra was found to have inconsistent results in women. Vacuum pumping of the clitoris and vulva will also increase blood flow and sensitivity. For many women the missing ingredient is mental stimulation, as they are concentrating on their body and not sexual thoughts that increase their arousal. Brad | 2007-04-05 09:55:28 |
| 600 | 5382 | Increasing exercise, losing excess weight, and generally improving one's physical condition often can help. Getting in shape& improves circulation, can boost testosterone levels, helps stave off depression and also boosts self-image and confidence. All of these factors can& bring increased sex drive and responsiveness. Of course, you can't necessarily expect exercise and sensible dietary habits to counteract the effects of& sex-dampening medications, alcohol and drug abuse, or severe clinical depression. But absent any of these factors, a fitness tuneup can do wonders. | 2008-01-31 22:39:54 |
| 601 | 3975 | my boyfriend and I have been having sex for a year and I love having sex with him.& but I cant have an orgasm, its like I get to this place and I just cant let go and let it happen | 2007-04-05 18:46:28 |
| 601 | 3976 | Hi. Are you able to masturbate to orgasm? It is generally recommended that women learn to masturbate to orgasm trying to do so with a partner, as that only complicates things. There is tons of information on the website about this subject. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/tips.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_arousal.htm Brad | 2007-04-05 20:22:55 |
| 601 | 3977 | thank you for replying. I guess I should explain a bit further.& while having sex with my boyfriend I get really close but then push it away because I am afraid of what it is going to feel like.& I dont know if it is going to hurt or what.& my entire life I have never had someone like my boyfriend.& my ex-b/f's were scum bags and the last serious one I had raped me when I was really vulnerable, as in drunk and really not right in the mind.& when I was younger I was sexually abused for two years by my fosterbrother and before that it was one of my biological mothers boyfriends who liked three year olds. (eeew) So with that kind of a sexual history I am scared to let go and give myself to the man I love even though mentally I trust him more than anyone else . . . but the fact that he has a penis makes it so for some bullshit reason I just cant let go.& please anyone who reads this, please reply.& I would really apreciate some help with this. no I cannot masterbate to orgasm . . . I dont masterbate . . . ever. | 2007-04-05 21:24:51 |
| 601 | 3980 | I'm sorry that you've had to go through all that crap. Still, you are unlikely to orgasm with a partner if you can't get yourself to orgasm. You don't know what it is that is likely to bring you to orgasm because you have missed out on self-exploration. Maybe you should start experimenting with self-exploration. Just take it slow and steady if it bothers you at first. Without it, how can you tell your partner what you like if you don't even know what you like yourself? All women are different so I doubt your partner can just know automatically what you like personally and if you've never experimented, you won't know what you get off on either. Orgasm is like getting fit. You can't run 3 miles if you don't hone yourself up for it. To orgasm, you need to hone your body up for it and that is partly what masturbation is for and only you can really find out what you like, nobody else can. As for letting yourself go, I'm not really sure on that one but it is common. When you say you get really close, what do you mean? To orgasm? | 2007-04-06 12:15:06 |
| 601 | 3981 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "I'm sorry that you've had to go through all that crap. Still, you are unlikely to orgasm with a partner if you can't get yourself to orgasm. You don't know what it is that is likely to bring you to orgasm because you have missed out on self-exploration. Maybe you should start experimenting with self-exploration. Just take it slow and steady if it bothers you at first. Without it, how can you tell your partner what you like if you don't even know what you like yourself? All women are different so I doubt your partner can just know automatically what you like personally and if you've never experimented, you won't know what you get off on either. Orgasm is like getting fit. You can't run 3 miles if you don't hone yourself up for it. To orgasm, you need to hone your body up for it and that is partly what masturbation is for and only you can really find out what you like, nobody else can. As for letting yourself go, I'm not really sure on that one but it is common. When you say you get really close, what do you mean? To orgasm? " I don't think she is having a problem with reaching orgasm, more with going over the edge. She sounds like she is able to get to the point of orgasm, but is scared of allowing it to actually happen.& In her second post she says that she is scared of what might happen if she actually has a full orgasm. I, obviously, wouldn't know what a womans orgasm feels like... but perhaps someone more knowledgeable on the subject can help her in that area, or at least ease her mind on it. Er, of course I could be completely off with this post, but this is how I heard it.& | 2007-04-06 17:07:21 |
| 601 | 3984 | Do not focus so much on having orgasm as enjoying the moment. The more you force yourself, the worse your condition becomes. | 2007-04-06 22:56:46 |
| 601 | 3997 | Hi, There are simply too many variables involved to begin to guess at a cause. Since you don't masturbate nor know how to masturbate to orgasm we cannot know if your boyfriend has anything to do with your inability to surrender control, or if you have the physical and psychological ability to experience orgasm. It is easier to blame it on him than on yourself. You may be unable to surrender control in any context, not simply when a male is present. Since you don't masturbate you are much less likely to know your true sexual needs and are only going through the motions of sex, and perhaps expecting too much. You only know what the media has told you, not your mind and body. The prior abuse could be an excuse for not allowing orgasm rather than a true cause for not experiencing orgasm. Abuse is currently presumed to be the cause of sexual difficulties in all cases in which it has occurred, even without proof. It has become the 10 cent answer. The true cause may be difficult to determine if one only looks at the obvious.& One has to wonder why you think orgasm may be a painful experience, as the general expectation is that it should be very pleasurable. Do you associate sex with pain? If this is true then you aren't ready for partnered sex and need to resolve this fear before you are. If you don't trust men in general that could cause sexual difficulties. The majority of women do not experience orgasm during vaginal intercourse on a regular basis if at all. The majority require direct clitoral stimulation during intercourse if they are to experience orgasm. With penile/vaginal stimulation alone women experience orgasm about 30% of the time, but this increases to around 60% when additional clitoral stimulation is provided. You may simply need a helping hand, or vibrator if you seek to experience orgasm during intercourse. Brad | 2007-04-07 20:41:25 |
| 601 | 4013 | Thank you. Your advice (advise?) has helped alot with my boyfriend and I both.& I am actually realizing that the orgasm is not the point of sex . . . just a nice little bonus when ever I get there & ;)& thank you so much also if any one else has some discription of what this is going to& feel like, the orgasm part of it, please post it.& I dont know why I am afraid it will hurt so just a little something about what you can explain it as. | 2007-04-09 22:57:41 |
| 601 | 4024 | Hi, Assuming you are 18 or over, perhaps watching women experience orgasm on the website linked to below will give you some idea of what it may feel like. [url=www.the-female-orgasm.com/freesamples.html] www.the-female-orgasm.com/freesamples.html The video clips use to be longer. They also presume if a woman's pelvic muscles contract she is having an orgasm, as if women can't voluntarily contract them. Brad | 2007-04-10 08:41:11 |
| 601 | 4026 | Well, here's what I feel when I have an orgasm. First things first, there isn't any pain. The first thing is a little warm fuzzy feeling in my clitoris that starts to get stronger and I also get a& lot of tension in my muscles all over my body and tend to go rigid and tense up as the build up happens and then the warm fuzzy feeling just sort of comes to a point where it feels like you can't remain rigid and still any longer because it becomes too intense...you sort of go over the edge and you feel contractions of the muscles and your body starts to thrust about, especially the pelvic area. When that has stopped and I lay still, I can often feel weak muscles contractions inside my vagina for a minute or more afterwards before they stop. They don't hurt or anything. I suppose it could feel different for every woman but I never heard of a woman who said the orgasms were painful in themselves. Some people say that warm fuzzy feeling can sometimes be mistaken for wanting a pee but I never thought it really felt like that myself. Thats the best I can describe it, it isn't an easy thing to describe. | 2007-04-10 09:19:27 |
| 603 | 3998 | Did someone say fetch? [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/43598/vibrator_disposal/] www.metacafe.com/watch/43598/vibrator_disposal/ When being prepared isn't such a good idea. [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/32804/phone_call/] www.metacafe.com/watch/32804/phone_call/ Naughty moms [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/27492/dombank_mixer/] www.metacafe.com/watch/27492/dombank_mixer/ Wait for last segment [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/402556/tidy_up/] www.metacafe.com/watch/402556/tidy_up/ These remind me of a night at a bar a couple weeks ago when female friends compared vibrators, I mean cell phones. [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/46882/phone_vibration/] www.metacafe.com/watch/46882/phone_vibration/ [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/43592/german_vibrator/] www.metacafe.com/watch/43592/german_vibrator/ Tis the season to be merry [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/131737/christmas/] www.metacafe.com/watch/131737/christmas/ Thanks Mom! [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/204126/vibrators_safe_sex/] www.metacafe.com/watch/204126/vibrators_safe_sex/ Turbo charged toothbrush [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/390064/angry_kid_vibartor/] www.metacafe.com/watch/390064/angry_kid_vibartor/ Choosing and using a vibrator [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/488821/how_to_chose_a_sex_toy/] www.metacafe.com/watch/488821/how_to_chose_a_sex_toy/ Girl Spots www.metacafe.com/watch/2941/sportstab/ | 2007-04-08 14:05:04 |
| 604 | 3999 | www.metacafe.com/watch/307908/epica_awards_aides_aids_awareness_vibrators/ | 2007-04-08 14:27:49 |
| 605 | 4001 | & A very naughty advertisement for phone service www.metacafe.com/watch/135011/dont_call_her/ | 2007-04-08 14:55:58 |
| 606 | 4002 | This one is over the top, but very funny. www.metacafe.com/watch/47462/hypnotizing_orgasm/ | 2007-04-08 15:00:25 |
| 607 | 4003 | Hypnotised girls demonstrate their oral skills with bananas www.metacafe.com/watch/419022/making_out_with_a_banana_or_a_peach_18_recommended/ | 2007-04-08 15:14:59 |
| 608 | 4004 | Orgasm Ray Gun [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/186460/fake_orgasm/] www.metacafe.com/watch/186460/fake_orgasm/ [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/426661/orgasm_gun_2_with_sound/] www.metacafe.com/watch/426661/orgasm_gun_2_with_sound/ The media's expectation of orgasm - very intense [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/186460/fake_orgasm/] www.metacafe.com/watch/186460/fake_orgasm/ Pony Ride Anyone? [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/1374/ride_it_baby/] www.metacafe.com/watch/1374/ride_it_baby/ Hypnotic Orgasms [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/490256/hypnotic_orgasm] www.metacafe.com/watch/490256/hypnotic_orgasm [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/426513/handshake_1_18/] www.metacafe.com/watch/426513/handshake_1_18/ These girls seem to have had a lot of practice at faking it [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/140333/orgasm_chant/] www.metacafe.com/watch/140333/orgasm_chant/ Electronic Orgasms [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/54401/orgasmatron/] www.metacafe.com/watch/54401/orgasmatron/ Please note that this appears to work only for women who have experienced orgasm in the past, based on a preliminary medical research on the subject. Perhaps the brain of preorgasmic women hasn't learned how to process the electrical singals in the same way that the brain of orgasmic women has. Food for thought - funny [url=www.metacafe.com/watch/401322/my_sweetest_orgasm/] www.metacafe.com/watch/401322/my_sweetest_orgasm/ | 2007-04-08 16:02:31 |
| 609 | 4007 | I checked the vulva galleries on the main site,& and only 1 out of 200 or so vulvas have the inner labia NOT showing but hidden when the woman's legs are spread. The example is 173. (Most don't have the inner labia protruding in Gallery 6, BUT the legs are closed in these pictures). Are there any regularly available pictures such as 173 where even when the woman has her legs spread, that the inner labia are hidden and do NOT show? Melissa (P.S. 105 and 120 photos may also represent this. In& one, the woman who is showing her labia minora, it seems that her minora& is small and that they would be hidden if she wasn't purposefully showing them.& It doesn't& seem the case in the other examples where the women& are showing their labia minora, because in all other examples, it& seems big enough and that they would protrude anyways, if& the women& were not trying to& showing them. In the other example, the& legs are still kind of closed as in the examples in gallery 6.) | 2007-04-09 17:27:05 |
| 609 | 4009 | Do you mean on this site or elsewhere?& If you mean elsewhere, then yes, you can find such pictures frequently. If you mean just on this site, I'm curious why you ask. | 2007-04-09 18:13:12 |
| 609 | 4010 | I mean on the main webpage. I was looking at the main page and came to the vulva galleries there, and thought it would be fairly representative...I was surpised that the great majority of ther examples have large, protruding minora. | 2007-04-09 20:49:56 |
| 609 | 4011 | Hi, If I recall correctly up to 2/3 of women of some degree of projection of their inner labia beyond their outer labia. When a woman spreads her legs this tends to draw her outer labia apart, or so I believe, which would be beneficial when you squat to urinate. This will cause the inner labia to be more prominent when the legs are spread. The inner labia tend to curl up within the outer labia when everything is in its normal position, I think. When women pose for photos they may stretch things out. The figure studies linked to below show the normal position of the inner and outer labia when women are standing. Some have projection of the inner labia, others do not. It seems thin girls project more, as they have less body fat and their outer labia and pubic mounds are smaller. Their pubic mound, the pelvic bone actually, sticks out because there is less body fat covering it and the surrounding areas. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/b_figure.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/b_figure.htm Brad | 2007-04-09 22:07:05 |
| 609 | 4012 | Hi Brad, & & Are you able to find any examples (besides 173) where the labia minora don't protrude, even when a woman has her legs spread? Such photo examples seem rare. Melissa | 2007-04-09 22:49:36 |
| 609 | 4019 | In the last few years Playboy has been finding a lot of girls that show little or no labia minora.& That said, they don't shoot the girls the same way they used to, so their legs are rarely spread, and when they are the girl is often turned to the side so they don't have a full crotch shot like they did in the 80s and 90s. | 2007-04-10 04:40:05 |
| 609 | 4025 | Hi, I presume you meant to say "don't" show inner labia. Most of the models trim or shave their pubic hair now so there is less to conceal the projecting inner labia. Unfortunately, plastic surgery websites are leading women to believe visible inner labia are abnormal and undesirable, and need correcting. Do 2/3 of women need surgery? Of course these doctors are charging huge fees for this relatively minor surgery. Brad | 2007-04-10 08:51:03 |
| 609 | 4040 | HI Brad, I was just wondering if you know where I can see photo examples of no protrusion of labia minora when a woman's legs are spread (like example 173)? It just seems such protrusion is SOOO common (I am not saying abnormal).... Melissa | 2007-04-11 10:39:04 |
| 609 | 4041 | I sent you a private message with some links to some photo galleries showing those kind of women. | 2007-04-11 14:44:07 |
| 609 | 4042 | gracias dfs3, but I meant pictures like like the following [url=www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img197.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img197.htm (The examples you sent to me the women were standing up...) | 2007-04-11 15:32:44 |
| 609 | 4055 | I posted some examples in the Uploaded Photos section of the forum. Women with plump outer labia are more likely to have this than women who have small or thin outer labia. In many of the examples I have, while the inner labia are visible when a woman's legs are spread I don't believe they project beyond the outer labia. Brad | 2007-04-11 21:04:30 |
| 609 | 4059 | Hi Brad, & 1, 4, & 5 and 9 are what I meant. I appreciate it! Melissa | 2007-04-11 23:29:19 |
| 609 | 4060 | Hi, Something I thought of last night was the fact that Playboy models may be thinner or skinner than they were 20 years ago so have smaller outer labia, which as a result don't conceal their inner labia. We are being bombarded with messages daily about how fat we are becoming and the media is celebrating and supporting anorexia. :X It seems the wrong people, especially female teens and women, are hearing the message about being over weight, the ones who aren't. :? Brad | 2007-04-12 07:53:38 |
| 609 | 4061 | Hi Brad, Is there any evidence that thin women have less plump majora? Usually in these adds I see for cosmetic surgery, it claimes that they give fat injections in the majora to restore or give a more youthful appearance-yet I would say it is usually the youthful women who are thin! Thanx, Melissa | 2007-04-12 10:00:48 |
| 609 | 4062 | I don't know if they do minora augmentation, but I wouldn't be interested.. | 2007-04-12 13:43:44 |
| 609 | 4063 | Hi, With increasing age a woman's outer labia tend to become wrinkled and less rounded, so some women are having fat injected to gain back their prior plump/rounded outer labia. This may affect women who have been pregnant more than those who have not; just my presumption at this point. It is my personal observation about thin teens and women, based on questions I have received from teens wanting to know why their pubic mound, actually bone, sticks out so far even though they keep loosing weight. Things are sticking out more because it is the bones that are showing, hip and pelvic. There is an absence of softness, as women are suppose to be. You can see it in the series of images I linked to above, where the really skinny girl's (13th down) has prominent vulvar structures; her inner and outer labia stick out a lot considering her small body size. I noted the same on a friend when she was wearing a swimsuit; she had a plump vulva despite being very thin. On pages 6 and 7 of the vulva photos on the website you can see photos where the pubic mound sticks way out, but this doesn't happen for women of normal weight. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/b_figure.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/b_figure.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/thumb006.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/thumb006.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/thumb007.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/thumb007.htm Brad | 2007-04-12 14:33:15 |
| 609 | 4064 | Hi Brad, & I understand where you say that increasing age women, have less plump majora than younger women do, and therefore wish to have fat injections to get a more youthful (plump appearance). & & & But, I don't understand when you talk about thin teens and women. Are you saying, that& they don't have this youthful plumpness in the majora (despite being youthful!) because& a) overall body weight contributes to this, so their& thin body weight doesn't provide for this? and b) appearance of& plumpness in these thin& teens and& women, is not due to their being youthful, but& is actually the bone? Thanks, Melissa | 2007-04-12 21:39:36 |
| 609 | 4065 | Hi, They may have prominent outer labia but they are not plump or rounded, because they lack the necessary body fat. They are retangular shaped when viewed from the front when standing rather than being rounded or triangular shaped. You can see this by comaring the figure studies. Look at the amount of body fat on the body then look at the shape of the vulva. Their pubic mound/bone is more prominent because there is a lack of fat over and surrounding it. Their body is more angular than it should be. Their hip bones stick out. Women who are under weight have square shoulders. They are thin and angular, rather than rounded. Brad | 2007-04-13 08:55:49 |
| 609 | 4078 | Hi Brad, So, the majora is not prominent in thin teens and women...it is actually the bone (and the rectangular shape also reflects that of the bone) which someone is seeing? | 2007-04-14 19:06:44 |
| 609 | 4080 | Hi, The projection of the pubic mound in the photos linked to below is caused by the pubic bone rather than fat, or fat alone. There may be some fat, but the bulk of the projection is the pubic bone, or so I believe; I don't have x-ray vision. If the women had more fat at their belly there would be less projections of the pubic bone. www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img163.htm www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img175.htm www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/img176.htm If you look at the collection of thumbnails linked to below you will see those with softer and rounder appearing pubic mounds and outer labia generally have more body fat. www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/thumb006.htm The outer labia of the women I mentioned above has long thin outer labia that don't conceal the inner labia. If you compare the thin young women on this page with the other women I believe you will see a common difference between them. If a girl tells you that her pubic mound sticks out more not than before but she has lost weight then it can't be body fat that is causing it. My theory is that it is caused by the under lying bones. I couldn't figure how their pubic mound could be getting bigger if they were loosing weight, and I believe this explains it. Brad | 2007-04-14 22:13:23 |
| 609 | 4082 | Hmm, funny that because I have a fairly prominant pubic mound and I am not underweight. Yes, I am slim but not too thin and I do have the typical hour glass shape. I eat plenty, moreso than a lot of people who are heavier than me. My body just tends to burn it off quicker. My weight falls within a perfectly acceptable range for my height. If I was to put on enough weight to hide my pubic mound, I would have to end up very much overweight. I can't imagine how much I'd have to stuff down my face to gain that amount of weight either. Maybe it is partly to do with some women having a pubic bone that sticks forward more than others naturally. I've seen girls a lot thinner than me in swimsuits who don't have a prominant pubic mound like I do and I have also seen photos of stick thin models on the catwalk modelling bikinis who also don't seen to have a pubic mound. Some women have wider hips than others and I suppose pubic bones can vary too as to how much they stick forward. & | 2007-04-15 15:53:53 |
| 609 | 4084 | I really don't think weight has anything to do with it. The genitals aren't like other parts of the body, they are organs directly beneath the skin.& They aren't normal fat deposits.& As a man gains or loses weight, the fat deposits surrounding his genitals may change but his genitals don't gather fat.& I think it's the same for women.& I've seen skinny girls with large labia and I've also seen heavier girls with small labia where it seems there is a protrustion of fat surrounding the vulva (and I'm not talking about the pubic mound).& A person's weight can definitely affect the way one's genitals appear, but it's typically a result of either an optical illusion of scale or fat deposits surrounding the genitals rather than a direct effect on the genitals themselves. | 2007-04-15 18:02:09 |
| 609 | 4835 | I agree dfs3. I am very skinny (about 5'9" and 120 lbs.) and I have plump, visible labia. | 2007-09-22 08:16:18 |
| 609 | 4840 | This is not quite to the subject of minora& but mounds. Many men find an high, prominent mound very alluring and look for it in women wearing swimmers, tight shorts, jeans& etc. I know young women who& enhance the appearance of their mounds by sewing into their swimmers additional material,& of the same colour of course. Is this done in South America, Brazil for example, and southern Europe? On another matter, I sometimes look back to the 1940s, here in Australia just after the war with the barbed-wire entanglements still erected,& when girls and women, who were menstruating, would be seen sitting on the sand fully dressed, with their friends in& swimmers. It was the accepted thing to do and we young men thought no more of it. | 2007-09-23 13:27:32 |
| 609 | 4843 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Hmm, funny that because I have a fairly prominant pubic mound and I am not underweight. Yes, I am slim but not too thin and I do have the typical hour glass shape. I eat plenty, moreso than a lot of people who are heavier than me. My body just tends to burn it off quicker. My weight falls within a perfectly acceptable range for my height. If I was to put on enough weight to hide my pubic mound, I would have to end up very much overweight. I can't imagine how much I'd have to stuff down my face to gain that amount of weight either. Maybe it is partly to do with some women having a pubic bone that sticks forward more than others naturally. I've seen girls a lot thinner than me in swimsuits who don't have a prominant pubic mound like I do and I have also seen photos of stick thin models on the catwalk modelling bikinis who also don't seen to have a pubic mound. Some women have wider hips than others and I suppose pubic bones can vary too as to how much they stick forward. & " I get where you are coming from, but, then again.. there are guys who like females with that or guys who aren't into that. Can't exactly change it, so just have to deal with it. | 2007-09-23 20:31:18 |
| 609 | 4846 | Hmm, I'm not sure I'm getting your point from what I said there?!?! I& was just commenting on the fact that a woman doesn't have to be underweight for her to have a prominant pubic mound and that either can have or not have this. If a guy had a problem against pubic mounds being too flat or pronounced, he'd be the type of guy I'd steer well away from. I can't ever remember hearing or reading about a guy who had issues with flat or pronounced pubic mounds though. I doubt most of them give a damn. | 2007-09-24 08:17:57 |
| 609 | 4849 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Hmm, I'm not sure I'm getting your point from what I said there?!?! I& was just commenting on the fact that a woman doesn't have to be underweight for her to have a prominant pubic mound and that either can have or not have this. If a guy had a problem against pubic mounds being too flat or pronounced, he'd be the type of guy I'd steer well away from. I can't ever remember hearing or reading about a guy who had issues with flat or pronounced pubic mounds though. I doubt most of them give a damn. " My point was, more of an agreement. I didn't write what I wrote to just agree with what you wrote on everything.& I've heard it here in the US, reason why I stated it. & | 2007-09-24 21:23:19 |
| 609 | 4850 | "Plumpness" or body size and shape does not seem to be a big factor. Changes with age, childbirth, activities, genetics will result in many variations over many body shapes. | 2007-09-24 21:33:20 |
| 609 | 4917 | Farmer, please tell me what you know about these young women who sew additional material in to their swimmers, to enhance the appearance of their mounds. What do they say? Do they actually do this? Does the appearance change? How old are they and why do they do this, and so on.... & & & | 2007-10-07 17:59:31 |
| 609 | 4921 | & Melissa, thank you for your response. You will know that the competition amongst young women, and in that wonderful age range 35-65 and beyond, is severe not least on the beaches. Many of those women whose breasts are full, and move enticingly as they do, feel no need for further enhancement but others, knowing that mounds of both sexes are looked at frequently, if not by all, increase their own feelings of arousal, and self-worth, by padding. The padding also reassures them regarding their lube leaking. It is quite a package when seen on those beaches where topless is the norm. The breasts may be pert only, the nipples often up, but the mound is obvious and a great turn-on. There are those women, too, who receive a charge by being submissive, obeying either man or woman, or both, and this is one method by which they show their compliance and, at the same time for many, allowing them to exhibit. Saline injections are sometimes used but cost money and are thought potentially dangerous by some. Boys pad, too, hoping!, and my wife tells me that she has heard other women murmur about their men, “If only!†| 2007-10-07 20:59:09 |
| 609 | 5099 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "In the last few years Playboy has been finding a lot of girls that show little or no labia minora.& " I have to say I don't understand this. Don't men find the site of a vulva arousing? Wouldn't that pleasure be enhanced by inner labia that are visible? Not to say that any type of vulva is better or worse than any other. Just as a large penis is visually interesting, it's not the thing that makes a woman have better or more certain orgasms. But what's behind the minimalist look? I don't get it. | 2007-11-18 18:19:44 |
| 609 | 5101 | Based on questions I have received, many men and women see fleshy vulvas as indications of prior sexual experience, and believe it is an indication excessive sexual experience. Many assume virginal post adolescent girls and women have vulvas that look the same as those of preadolescent girls, that is nothing more than a& smooth crease& between their thighs.& The idea that things may stick out doesn't cross their minds. In the medical article about female genital mutilation I recently added to the website, one of the reasons the affected woman provided for wanting this done to themselves was it provided a smooth vulva. There is a common believe that guys are suppose to have big external genitals and women are suppose to have absolutely none, and this believe crosses cultural and geographic boundaries. I don't know what percentages of the population prefers each type of vulva, or if they have a preference. I guess the problem relates to education and experience. Since women's vulvas are hidden from view, guys don't really have the luxury of choosing the shape of their partner's vulva. I guess that is an idea for a new survey. Brad | 2007-11-18 21:48:51 |
| 609 | 5102 | Thanks, Brad, for your always-interesting input. NoMoreGuilt,& I do not presume to speak for all men but I think you are correct in believing men like looking at vulvas, period. When I was young, pre Playboy, we had Man Hard, a magazine which featured drawings of nude and semi-nude women to which we would jack off daily. Some of the boys looked for the drawings of large tits with very erect nippes and puffed aureoles.& We liked those, would start with those, but& finished& with& the drawings which showed very plumped mounds and closely trimmed hair. You will be aware that women look much more closely at detail than do most boys/men so, in our group at least, I do not think any cared about protruding lips. It did not take long for us to cum and we were fantasising about what we woud love to do& to it rather than the detail. When older, we did notice but the surge remained. | 2007-11-18 22:52:05 |
| 612 | 4037 | Hi, Here is a link to a video on YouTube www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWRO0IIN_QE Brad | 2007-04-11 08:57:22 |
| 613 | 4038 | [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rBp4DRgiJo] www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rBp4DRgiJo [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vpin_z1dLs] www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vpin_z1dLs | 2007-04-11 09:11:26 |
| 614 | 4039 | This video addresses FGM and rebuilding of the clitoris afterwards. Please note the body cannot regenerate nerve cells and nerves.& The results of this procedure are perhaps cosmetically and physiological beneficial, which would help with self image and as a result sexual enjoyment. [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4u_ACVq5h] www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4u_ACVq5h http:[url=www.clitoraid.org] www.clitoraid.org A recent article in The Journal of Sexual Medicine showed a procedure for exposing the remaining portions of the clitoral body. Article title: Surgical Techniques: Reconstructive Surgery of the Clitoris after Ritual Excision, by Pierre Foldes, | 2007-04-11 09:33:33 |
| 615 | 4044 | We are thinking of trying& new things in our sex life and we dicuss& watching a movie together.& Do you guys have any recomendation for a movie that will be nice, not too "porn like" (I hope that it make sense) & but sensual, sexy that will create the mood. Thanks newuser | 2007-04-11 20:12:46 |
| 615 | 4056 | Hi, Some of the movies I have seen by Tinto Brass are erotic and funny without going too far. Cheeky is a good one I believe. Lots of female nudity with a funny story line. Movies by Tinto Brass [url=www.imdb.com/name/nm0000972/] www.imdb.com/name/nm0000972/ Cheeky [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0200192/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0200192/ Frivolous Lola [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0174931/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0174931/ Other Erotic Movie: Sirens [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0111201/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0111201/ 9 1/2 Weeks [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0091635/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0091635/ Incredible True Story of Two Girls in Love - Girl/Girl [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0113416/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0113416/ Better Than Chocolate - Girl/Girl [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0168987/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0168987/ The Lover - Teen/Adult [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0101316/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0101316/ Secretary - unconventional relationship, kind of kinky, but realistic [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/ Story of 0 - S&M themed, haven't seen in many years [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0073115/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0073115/ Secret Things - Haven't seen, suppose to be good [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0287963/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0287963/ Exotica - Complex story involving a strip club, female dancers [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0109759/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0109759/ Dancing at the Blue Iguana - Daryl Hannah in the buff, and a good movie, art house style [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0217355/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0217355/ For mainstream video with X-rating or NC-17 rating 9 Songs - Ok, not much of a movie, but the best real sex that I have seen in a movie. If you want to see what real sex looks like, not porn, then see this movie. [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0411705/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0411705/ In the Realm of the Sense - Explicit sex and a story, imagine that [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0074102/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0074102/ Lie With Me - has a plot, woman has casual sex until, something more happens. An openly sexual woman you might say. [url=www.imdb.com/title/tt0418832/] www.imdb.com/title/tt0418832/ The reason I have this long list has I have been debating whether to carry these in the store, for people who want erotic rather than porn. Netflix has them all I belive, and Amazon.com Brad | 2007-04-11 21:40:42 |
| 615 | 4058 | Brad, Thanks a lot for the info I think we will be looking at the X-Ratings 9 Songs looks good.& I would not mind looking at porn but I don't know who my wife will react so that is why I was thinking that we can start with those and see how it works for us. thanks newuser | 2007-04-11 21:58:31 |
| 615 | 4072 | Hi, In the movie Lie With Me you don't see much even though the couple is reported to being having actual sexual contact/penetration. Women, and some men, may see the main female character as slutty, because she has casual sex with men with no emotional attachment; as men are often permitted to do. The Realm of the Senses may be easier for women to handle since there is a story and plot. It isn't like porn movie sex. Brad | 2007-04-14 12:26:24 |
| 615 | 4097 | Thanks again Brad | 2007-04-16 14:49:33 |
| 617 | 4067 | Dear all, I think my bf is suffering premature ejaculation. And me need a long time to reach the orgasm. But i love him so much, i dont mind with that. but i feel a pitty for him, cos he feels that he's a loser. Cant make me reaching my orgasm.& How to handle this ? What should i say to him ? And do you have any tips to heal from the premature ejaculation. FYI, we always do it with condom, so the condom have helped him to delay his ejaculation. But still it cant help. And he use to have sex in ONE NIGHT STAND ( of course before we met) and he dont have problem to satisfy any women. He said that me is different with any women that he have ever met. all women that have ever slept with him is not a virgin anymore, and their "V" is not tight at all.& But mine is still tight even maybe we have done it hmm about 30 times, he said that my "v" is still tight. He suspect that it's one of the problem. He feels too good when he is inside me, that's why, he is suffering premature ejaculation. I just wanna help him, so he feels that He's The Man after the battle. Hmm i want also feel the O when i am with him, so i dont need to masturbate just to get the O. Please help. Thanks. Kaio | 2007-04-14 06:21:05 |
| 617 | 4070 | Hi, He only had one night stands in the past and he believes he satisfied them all? I hate to burst his bubble but that is extremely unlikely. If he was such a wonderful lover so many women wouldn't have allowed him to get away. The majority of women are not able to experience orgasm during vaginal intercourse as a result of vaginal stimulation alone, at least on a regular basis. Most women require additional clitoral stimulation if they are to experience orgasm. Even if he lasted an hour you probably wouldn't experience orgasm, at least on a regular basis. The tightness of a woman's vagina isn't related to her amount of sexual experience but the condition of her pelvic muscles. A virgin can be loose and a mother of four tight. It appears that you and your boyfriend need to read up on female sexuality, as you both have some unrealistic expectations. Please take the time to read through my website. Brad | 2007-04-14 09:16:14 |
| 617 | 4081 | The stop and go method ;-P Red light, GREEN LIGHT! red light, GREEN LIGHT! | 2007-04-15 08:59:14 |
| 617 | 4093 | [user=1389]jayjota[/user] wrote: "The stop and go method ;-P Red light, GREEN LIGHT! red light, GREEN LIGHT!" Hehehe... :P | 2007-04-16 10:08:06 |
| 617 | 4095 | The woman can lay on a raised surface and the guy can be standing or kneeling between her legs and this allows him better control than being on top and humping away. He can start out slow and tease her, and pull out if he gets too near to orgasm, and use his penis to stimulate her clitoris while he settles down. If you hump like a bunny you are going to come as quickly as a bunny. Evolution would support rather than suppress premature ejaculation. We often forget the primary purpose of intercourse is reproduction, not sexual pleasure. Brad | 2007-04-16 10:36:40 |
| 617 | 4105 | In aggreance with Brad, foreplay does not only have to come in before intercourse, it is an extremely enjoyable distraction from it as well. Often if my Bf feels that he will not be able to hold up as long as he wishes he could, we fall into a "break" (although really it is just as strenuous a process as IC if done "right" >:)) of heavy foreplay/petting that keeps everything on high but controls any stimulation that may distract him from focusing and controlling himself for an extended period of time. This benefits him, as generally the longer he can stand sexual stimulation the better his orgasm is and he receives a variety of attention beyond vaginal IC... and it benefits me as I get the opportunity to be penetrated many times, as well as all the extras that come with foreplay. the only problem is we tend to become too involved and end up having 2 or 3 hour sessions that distract from anything that should be getting& done in the meantime....& our time management and planning skills could use a little fine tuning. | 2007-04-18 02:11:31 |
| 617 | 4106 | [user=1200]bird[/user] wrote: "the only problem is we tend to become too involved and end up having 2 or 3 hour sessions that distract from anything that should be getting& done in the meantime....& our time management and planning skills could use a little fine tuning. " Heres a good tip that works! Give your BF a placebo pill (a sugar pill) or find one in the store that is plastic, open it up, take out the ingredients, and put in one pill of& crushed (you can easily crush it between two peices of paper) viagra (which u can even buy online now-a-days, or just see a doctor). Now give it to him,& and tell him it's the 4-hour hard-on, called viagra. the next day give him the same pill, instead this time with sugar in it. I am serious. You have no Idea how much your mind comes into play. Needless to say, but after a week on the "pill" and using the "stop-and-go" method, along with your technique of keeping the fire alive between sessions,& your once PE man will& become a natural hour man, eventually have him stop taking the placebo sugar pill, and dont tell him at all!!!! tell him in a few years when u can blame it on old - age to be imagining stuff, lol. | 2007-04-18 02:32:13 |
| 617 | 4115 | Heehee, I am liking the idea very much Jayjota, although we engage in these "break time" sessions because we enjoy them, not because my boyfriend suffers from PE. I mearly meant it as an interesting alternative that might work in this situation. (wow, sounds like I'm making excuses eh?) lol, either way, i absolutely believe that it has much more to do with the mind than it does with body, and should i ever be in a position where i might need a little help, I will be sure to try it. ;) | 2007-04-18 20:57:25 |
| 617 | 4117 | No problem, am glad to help. You would be amazed at the power of the mind, and how much of a role, it really does play. | 2007-04-18 21:53:05 |
| 619 | 4088 | I find that for me, when it comes to looking for relationships, I don't know what I find sexually attractive. I mean, I have guy friends, and one of them I wish I could date, but I'm not really physically attracted to any of them. And its not that I'm attracted to women or anything either, because I'm not. Can anyone offer me any advise or help in this regard? | 2007-04-15 21:59:32 |
| 619 | 4089 | Just be patient.& You don't need to be in a relationship, so don't look so hard.& When you meet someone who does it for you, you will know. | 2007-04-16 00:37:38 |
| 619 | 4104 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "When you meet someone who does it for you, you will know. " that pretty much sums everything up in one neat little accurate nutshell. I can understand how you feel. I was prepared to wait forever until I found a genuine attraction for someone, beyond what I got (and was/is totally enraged by) in watching highschool relationships run the words "boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/relationship" through the mud and back. And then I got emotionally jumped by the most wonderful human being on the planet and it near scared me to death. Looking for something only provides frustration. Do you remember how parents always told you that surprises were the best? Well that is one thing they were actually right about. Don't worry, when you know, you know.;) | 2007-04-18 01:57:54 |
| 619 | 4124 | You don’t say how old you are but I suspect you are fairly young. I agree with the other answers given because in my experience things happen when you least expect them too. So just enjoy life and that special someone will find you.;) | 2007-04-24 03:52:20 |
| 621 | 4102 | Came across this answer, thought it was simply profound and that I would share it with you all. Q: How often do women get horny? A: If you mean "turned on", then I would say when ever I am in an enviroment where I can be myself and not be pounced on. If I could, I would be in the natural state called turned on, meaning attractive. However, all too often this state of attraction is vewied as receptive and you get guys hanging on your leg, so women tone it down most of the time. Horny is a guys natural mammlian response to an attractive (turned on) woman. You are right in that it has nothing to do with her physical appearance. However, women do like to be seduced, which shows her you are willing to notice HER, and give her non-judgemental attention. For thousands of years womens sexuality has been repressed and oppressed and women themselves have been generally disregarded and discouraged, hence women's resistance to pleasure and the outward apprearance that we aren't as interested in sex as men are. Which brings us back to the topic of us being mammels, and the fact which is undeniable in the "animal world" is that when females are in heat, the males respond. Same thing happens with us, except that humans (and a few other animals with large frontal lobes) an "turn on" voluntarily, not just when we are biologically "in heat." & | 2007-04-17 18:39:13 |
| 621 | 4111 | Kind of reminds me of a couple weeks ago when a very drunk friend looked me in the eyes and told me she was horny, but as it turns out she wasn't interested in sex with her male friends that were present, but feels it should be safe to say these things to us without our responding. She left us, leaving with a couple other girls, to find a suitable partner, but in the end she didn't get any, not that there wasn't a willing guy, her logical self decided it wasn't a good idea in the end. Brad | 2007-04-18 10:12:29 |
| 621 | 4112 | Thank you for your response and personal experience.& It seems she wasn't the only one (making choices from her logical self).>:) & Have a great day! | 2007-04-18 17:06:32 |
| 622 | 4108 | Hi. For awhile now I've been having sexual fantasies about fauns (In particular, one from a film) and I'm wondering is this wrong? I mean, is it wrong to want to& fantasise about having sex with someone who's lower half is that of an animal? Obviously then, your having sex with that animal part. Does anyone have any similar problems like this, or any advice? & | 2007-04-18 08:32:41 |
| 622 | 4109 | en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faun It certainly makes you a very naughty girl, and that is the turn on. Based on the painting on the page linked to above you are suppose to be attracted to them. I wouldn't worry about it. They actually sell dildos shaped like the organs of different animals, so others must have these naughty thoughts too. Brad | 2007-04-18 08:38:36 |
| 622 | 4119 | fauns are closely related to (and often confused with) satyrs which are ancient sexual symbols, so I think it's merely ironic that you fantasize about them. | 2007-04-19 06:20:54 |
| 622 | 4311 | I wouldn't call it a problem, unless that film were the Labyrinth. That faun is freaky. One thing you've got to realise about fantasies is that no matter how weird you think they are, there are people out there who a) have the same and/or b) have weirder ones. | 2007-06-29 09:51:50 |
| 622 | 4312 | Pan's Labyrinth, pardon me. | 2007-06-29 09:52:09 |
| 623 | 4113 | Hi, I just want to check how common is couples& masturbating together& in a relationship.& I would love to share masturbation session with my wife, but she seems real shy about it every time a bring the topic.& & I find reading this forum and information on the web& it looks like it will be a real nice experience between the couples in the relationship so see their partners express their "feeling" during the act.& Is there a better or recommended approach that I can take to express this.& I know comming from a latin america country topics like are very difficult for us. Thanks | 2007-04-18 17:41:07 |
| 624 | 4114 | Hey, As a 20 something year old female I need help and advice please... It may seem insignificant or trivial to a lot of u but it's the bane of my sex and love life... I've never found sex a pleasurable experience, i have a history of childhood abuse and although i feel like i am over most of the issues this raised i've never had a positive sexual encounter or relationship. in fact it puts me off having involvement with men altogether as i've started to dread the 'inevitable'. it isn't that i don't get turned on, its simply the fact that i get turned off the moment i become sexually involved with anyone, and any sex i have had in the past has been uncomfortable, painful and awkward. this is probably too much information for most but i'm desperate now for some advice on how i can change this current situation, it's ruined all of my close relationships to date and am not fussed on the idea of having to discuss my personal life with a 'professional' so if anyone can help, please...im open to almost any suggestions now! lol. ju | 2007-04-18 20:14:30 |
| 624 | 4116 | There are a few of us here (myself included) who have been victims of sexual abuse (there is a section of this forum/website for this topic...I am just not sure where it is) so chances are you can probably get a lot of help from others around. But as for my two cents... Do you or have you ever talked to your partners about this before engaging in sexual activity? It took me a long time to reveal the full story to my boyfriend, but we only started having sex once i was sure he understood that the issue was a sensitive one to me. We quickly developed a system that worked to what I was fearful of and that relaxed me enough to thoroughly enjoy sex. Eventually we stopped having to employ any of these tactics all together and the rest is history. If you want more of that story, you can PM me and I'll go into greater detail. Either way, as I said there are probably many others with different and helpful advice. Good Luck! | 2007-04-18 21:09:17 |
| 624 | 4118 | While you may have come to grips with the actual abuse, I imagine one of the major issues you're having is being able to relax and trust your partners.& You should discuss the abuse with any partners you have and tell them that you have issues finding sex pleasurable. The fact that you lose arousal once you make physical contact sounds exactly like anxiety rather than a physical problem.& I'm no professional, but I think when you reach a point of trust and comfortability with a partner you will be ok.& Remember, though, that even without anxiety issues it takes people time to learn how to have good sex with a partner.& Once you find someone you can relax around, sex might not exactly be mindblowing right away, so keep your expectations realistic. | 2007-04-19 06:11:34 |
| 624 | 4125 | You don’t say how quickly your relationships have got to the point where it is sexual or why you then lose those people. But I would suggest that if the relationship is becoming that close you should explain about your childhood abuse and how it has damaged your life. This you should do& before& having sex with them.& If that person really cares about you and& understands the problems you have with enjoying sex they will want to be gentle and help you. If they don’t, in my opinion, they are not someone you should have sex with anyway. | 2007-04-24 04:27:07 |
| 626 | 4121 | My wife is a very attractive 48 and we have been happily married for 25 years and have 2 boys 23 and 19. She has never worked and has looked to me to provide almost all her contact with the outside world. For quite a few years we have had infrequent sex. As she use to say “I would rather be knittingâ€. Also with her father dying had become a bit depressed. That was until recently why for a joke she went on face party. Suddenly lots of men where contacting her, which she obviously enjoyed. She has always been an honest person so when I asked why she had become so very happy and we where now having more regular sex she& explained that she has been having cybersex which made her feel good about herself. She also talked about how it aroused her and how wet she gets. She never intends to meet these men and as it is only words I am strangely cool with this and think it has immensely improved our sex life. & My question is: Is this normal | 2007-04-23 05:06:23 |
| 626 | 4122 | Hi, I believe it is normal for all woman to enjoy being found attractive by men, and some cases women. Many women don't feel they are attractive to others. It is an ego boost to find multiple men who do what to have sex with them. The expectation is that men only want to have sex with young women, so to learn you are a sexually desirable middle-aged woman may be a bit of a surprise. Some women experience an increase in desire later in life. Since she has been somewhat house bound the internet provides her with a doorway to the outside world. The anonymity allows her to explore her sexuality, something she probably couldn't do in the past. Cybersex allows her to engage in sex with multiple partners, which is something she probably couldn't do in reality, or want to do in reality. Is she cheating on you? Some would argue both ways on that. Yes, she is having sex with other men, even if there isn't physical contact. Is it different from her looking at photos of other men or reading erotica? Isn't it just another form of erotica? I would suggest exploring ways of taking advantage of her developing sexuality.& Perhaps she want to know you still find her attractive and sexually desirable.& When was the last time you two went on a date with flowers and the whole nine yards? I would recommend taking advantage of her renewed sexual desire. They may get her aroused, but she comes to you for sex. You might find out what exactly they say that gets her aroused, and do some role playing. Perhaps you need to enrich your sex life by doing new and exciting things together. Jealousy is usually the hardest thing to address in situations like this. Men are afraid their partner will find someone better then them and take off. You may want to remove the opportunity for her to know others rather than making yourself more desirable to her. After 25 years of marriage it can be hard to keep sex fun and exciting. This is simply one possible way exploring something new. Before you judge her, ask yourself if you haven't undressed another woman and thought about having sex with her? Been turned on by the attention and flattery of another woman? Since you interact with the world you have had much more opportunity for this than she has. Brad | 2007-04-23 07:48:47 |
| 626 | 4123 | Thanks Brad your answer is of significant comfort to me. Through this web site, which has been a god send, I think I had pretty much come to the same conclusion. Yes you are absolutely correct that Jealousy has been the most difficult emotion for me to come to terms with. Especially as previously she had looked to me for all her needs. In many was that is stress that I am please to be released from.& Of course being a male I have done the full range of porn and erotica etc but have never had any form of sexual contact with another woman, so I won’t be hypocritical. I very much intend to take advantage of the new her! That as you will have already guessed means I have got to get passed that male problem relating to performance issues,& being able to live up to her fantasy sessions. But I know she cares deeply about me so I should get passed that. Any tips though and I am all ears. Any tips on making sure she remains feeling good& with what she is doing would also be great.. Thanks’s again being able to talk to someone has been a tremendous help! & | 2007-04-23 11:44:29 |
| 626 | 4140 | Brad, Question, you dont touch much on Love which I understand. But my question is can a woman seperate Love from Sex. That meaning enjoying sex more because there are no emotional bonds or feelings to& worry about? I think that men are more inclined that way what do you think?& | 2007-04-27 14:59:28 |
| 626 | 4142 | Hi, The closest correlation I can draw would be couples that engage in open relationships or swinging. The women in these relationships have sex with others but still return to their husbands and families. It isn't a question of love, but sex. Not all of their primary relationships are healthy though. Women who have affairs often are seeking something they aren't getting from their primary relationship, which is perhaps an overly simplistic answer.& It isn't necessary a question of love but perhaps a need for something new and exciting, and the feeling of "being loved". Your wife may want nothing more than to feel desired, not just by you but other men. It is good for her ego to know more than one man desires to have sex with her. If she confuses the fantasy of the internet with reality that could be a problem, as she really doesn't know these men, only how they present themselves online. We only know your side of the story, so we don't know the whole story. I am certainly not an expert on why women engage in cyber sex and have affairs. I can only say they are trying to fulfill some need, not the nature of the need, or if it detrimental or beneficial. Brad | 2007-04-27 20:31:36 |
| 626 | 4147 | Hi Brady, & You make very valid points. & My wife initial said that she could have sex with someone and that would be separate from caring (loving) someone. Obviously that worried me. Subsequent to that we talked and she actual showed me what the man said to her and what she said to him. I was surprised how explicit she was and how she understood what men want (had me aroused). After further talk, and re-reading your site, I now realize that when she initial told me what she told me she had just experienced her fantasy and was still very aroused She didn’t really mean what she said, but was still experiencing her fantasy. I think this was confirmed because later that night we had great sex. & Do you think this makes sense? & & & | 2007-04-28 13:17:45 |
| 626 | 4154 | Hi, Well, she may have become aware of your discomfort and decided it was best to change her story. Many women who have had limited sexual experience are curious to know what sex would be like with others. They probably never act on that curiosity, but it still exists. At the time she could have thought she could have casual sex, and her thoughts could have been influenced by her arousal and the current situation. Even if you are a great lover, that& doesn't mean your partner isn't curious about sex with others or trying new things. Keep in mind that 25 years of the same thing is probably going to get a little boring for one or both of you. Brad | 2007-04-28 14:50:35 |
| 627 | 4128 | Hi. For a while now I've been thinking tat i'd like to start having sex (I'm 18) but i don't have a partner or any luck in relationships. i don't even have any friends, just people i know. i could easily have a one night stand with some stranger but would that be right for first time sex. I know it sounds like a stupid question, but its not very easy for someone with no contacts. everyone here seems to be in a relationship which for me is impossible, (i have low self esteem) & what do you think about this? | 2007-04-27 07:18:33 |
| 627 | 4129 | Hi, It is hard to predict what your first time will be like in all ways. The more sexual experience you have, with other sexual activities, the more likely you are to know what it will be like. How do you want to look back on your first experience? Do you value your virginity? If you don't value your virginity, why do it? If you do value your virginity, why do it? If a guy knows you are a virgin before or after he may think himself special, so to men your virginity is of value. Walk up to the average guy and tell him you want to have sex and I am sure many or most will be more than willing to do so. As a friend recently learned, having great sex during a one night stand doesn't mean the guy will call you afterwards. So while on one hand she was happy with the one night stand, part of her wanted a repeat. You have to decide what it best for you, or learn from your mistakes. You could have wonderful casual sex or horrible casual sex. Are you willing to accept both possibilities? My general advice to any young woman is to delay having sex, i.e. intercourse, as long as it is appropriate for her. There is always a risk of pregnancy of STIs, so it isn't as simple as casual sex. Just because your friends may be having sex doesn't mean they are having rewarding sex. You can learn more in the article linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm The survey and survey results linked to below will provide some insight into what the first time was like for other women. [url=www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=2705980243] www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=2705980243 [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/poll_first.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/poll_first.htm Brad | 2007-04-27 09:59:54 |
| 627 | 4131 | It has nothing to do with my peers having sex, i dont have any friends, but i do see what you mean. & | 2007-04-27 12:22:48 |
| 627 | 4132 | This post assumes you're female. As we've seen many times before, the first time having intercourse can have a profound impact on one's sexual outlook.& It's rarely as good as anyone expects, but you can still do it in such a way that you have a better than typical experience. Losing your virginity will probably be awkward and uncomfortable and maybe even stressful or painful regardless of who you lose it to.& If you lose it to a stranger, there is a chance you could find someone very experienced who can minimize those negative elements of losing your virginity, but there's really no way to pick someone like this simply from seeing and talking to them. If you wait until you find a relationship, then you have a chance to work up to losing your virginity.& Your partner can learn your body through mutual masturbation and oral sex first and get you used to sexual contact with another person.& With a partner in a relationship you also have the emotional element during and after the fact that you simply won't get with a stranger. Again, even with the benefits of being in a relationship, losing your virginity will still probably be awkward and uncomfortable (but there is always a possibility that it will be great).& My point here is not to have an ideal moment, but to avoid any regrets.& A lot of women who lost their virginity to someone that didn't care about them have mentioned regrets and have had their outlooks on intercourse soured as a result. As Brad mentioned, there is also the issue of pregnancy and disease (and disease is a rapidly growing problem).& Waiting until you have a partner in a relationship who is disease free and willing to risk the responsibility of pregnancy can help avoid a lot of problems. Frankly, I see no reason to rush into intercourse.& I'm 27 and I've never had intercourse specifically for the reasons listed above, and I'm happy as can be and in no rush to change it.& There are safer alternatives to intercourse while you wait to find someone you can establish that trust with.& Number one is masturbation, which takes your libido largely out of the question. Making smart decisions about your virginity when you're not horny makes a big difference.& It also helps you know your body when you do find someone. The other is oral sex and mutual masturbation.& I don't know how likely you are to find a stranger willing to give oral without expectations of intercourse, but I'm sure they are out there.& Even in less than stable relationships you can turn to oral to provide sexual activity if you aren't quite sure about the intercourse yet.& There are risks of disease even with oral sex, but they are greatly lower than with intercourse, and obviously pregnancy via oral sex is impossible unless the man gets his semen in his own mouth somehow.& And statistically speaking, women tend to find oral sex more pleasurable than intercourse anyway. | 2007-04-27 13:09:53 |
| 627 | 4133 | good advice, but I really do worry about finding a partner, as I have no luck with the opposite sex. Anyone who does show interest in me turns out to be a phyco, or i just can't get a person who likes me to see me as anything more than a friend. I've had so many faulse starts its ridiculous. | 2007-04-27 13:15:45 |
| 627 | 4134 | Also, you mention low self esteem.& I remember a previous post where you mentioned low self esteem as well.& Have you done anything to improve on that?& Poor self esteem has a big impact on sexual response and enjoyment. | 2007-04-27 13:16:25 |
| 627 | 4135 | I'm on anti depressants but thats it. my self esteem is so bad it borders on paranioa. I get terrified that if someone is laughing nearby, it's about me. Or that if someone looks at me, it's for a bad reason. Even though i know i'm not ugly or that bad, it seems that no matter what i do or who i'm with no one wants to be with me. | 2007-04-27 13:19:28 |
| 627 | 4136 | [user=1437]Emerald[/user] wrote: "good advice, but I really do worry about finding a partner, as I have no luck with the opposite sex. Anyone who does show interest in me turns out to be a phyco, or i just can't get a person who likes me to see me as anything more than a friend. I've had so many faulse starts its ridiculous." Patience is key, as is self esteem.& Everyone has problems looking for relationships, it's not just you.& When you feel like you don't need to be in a relationship, but rather that you can be in one when you feel like it, it's a lot less distressing.& I used to worry about being in relationships, but every girl I was involved with turned out to be dishonest, and the last one (five or six years ago now I guess) lied about her age, and that's when I said to myself "to hell with this stress" and stopped worrying about it.& So say to hell with the psychos and be your own person.& Not having intercourse isn't a bad thing.& If you meet a psycho, so what?& Ignore him and move on. You're 18, not 80, you have plenty of time to be patient. | 2007-04-27 13:27:54 |
| 627 | 4137 | I just worry that there's something repulsive about me, as everytime i try to be with someone i'm told no, they just want to be friends. I was thinking about trying my luck with girls as i seem to have abit more luck with them on this subject but then i thought, is that right? | 2007-04-27 13:39:57 |
| 627 | 4138 | [user=1437]Emerald[/user] wrote: "I'm on anti depressants but thats it. my self esteem is so bad it borders on paranioa. I get terrified that if someone is laughing nearby, it's about me. Or that if someone looks at me, it's for a bad reason. Even though i know i'm not ugly or that bad, it seems that no matter what i do or who i'm with no one wants to be with me." In my experience, self esteem is kind of like addiction.& There comes a point where you hit rock bottom and have to make a decision for yourself.& I used to have really bad self esteem when I was in high school.& I vaguely remember crying a few times because people said something rude to me or something, I dunno what it was. After that girlfriend that lied about her age that I mentioned, a friend of mine told me that you can't love someone if you can't love yourself.& I don't know why, but that just clicked with me then.& Since then, the only person whose opinion of me that matters is me.& It's really that easy, just making a choice (if you really mean it). Are people laughing at you? Maybe they are, but here's the important question: does it matter?& If a stranger doesn't like you, that is their loss, not your's.& Seriously, what does it matter if someone who has no impact on your life doesn't like you?& You don't depend on them for anything, so they can laugh until they are blue in the face, it doesn't have any real consequences in your life.& The only person you have to live with for the rest of your life is you.& You can walk away and never see them again and your life will be just fine.& I'm not saying you have to be totally happy with yourself, either.& Nobody is perfect and we can all use some improvement some time.& I'm saying that if you're unhappy with something about yourself, be unhappy for your own reasons (and take action to fix it for your own reasons) and not for the sake or satisfaction of others. | 2007-04-27 13:45:57 |
| 627 | 4139 | [user=1437]Emerald[/user] wrote: "I just worry that there's something repulsive about me, as everytime i try to be with someone i'm told no, they just want to be friends. I was thinking about trying my luck with girls as i seem to have abit more luck with them on this subject but then i thought, is that right?" There are six billion people in this world.& You have to realize that you aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea.& Nobody is everyone's ideal.& At 18, even if you were the most social of butterflies, I'll very generously assume that you've made some kind of direct contact with the vaguest romantic intent with 40 guys.& That's a new interest every month since you were 14.& 40 boys is .000001% of the male population on this planet... a very small drop in an enormous bucket.& Just be patient.& There are so many men out there, and so many kinds of women, and some of those men are attracted to every different kind of woman.& It's just a matter of time to get them paired up.& I've seen men swear that a woman I personally find repulsive is a goddess in their eyes.& Contrary to what magazines like cosmo try to tell women, there is no male consensus on what makes a woman attractive. As for the trying your luck with girls, if you are honestly and naturally attracted to women, then of course it's ok for you to go that way.& If you've ever been absorbed in some non-sexual task or thought and been distracted by a woman to the point or arousal, then knock yourself out.& It doesn't sound like that is the case, though.& It seems like you're thinking that out of frustration rather than genuine interest. | 2007-04-27 14:04:09 |
| 627 | 4141 | Hi, I believe a sexual relationship would only add to the complexity of your life at present, and would cause more problems than it would fix. You are on step 1 but are contemplating doing step 100. Work on friendships for now and go from there. It would be great if we had sexual instructors we could approach if we wanted to learn about sex, but they are pretty hard to come by. Brad | 2007-04-27 20:16:10 |
| 627 | 4146 | I don't even know how to begin a friendship, because i just assume that the person will hate me, or that someone who already hates me will tell them nasty things about me, or that they already hate me. i don't know how to get around that i am interested in women, and have been before i was interested in men, its just that i seem to be more relaxed with other women than i am with men. & | 2007-04-28 11:44:28 |
| 627 | 4148 | I disagree with Brad.& You need to work on self esteem before you work on any relationship, whether that be friendly or romantic. Talk to some kind of counselor or therapist and they will help you figure out what the source of your low self esteem is.& Or if you secretly know what it is but can't admit it, then they will help you with that as well.& Once you work around your self esteem issues, then you should pursue all kinds of relationships, friendly or otherwise. In all the typing I've done in this thread, the single most important thing I've said is that you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself.& Your anxiety probably stems from emotional dependence.& Because you have really low self esteem, any time you make contact with someone else (friendly or otherwise) their perception of you matters more to you.& Why? Because you're afraid that if they don't like you then you're left with yourself, which is bad for you since you have such poor self esteem.& Essentially, you don't like yourself, so you need someone else to do it for you. The problem there is that any time you try to make friends with someone, you are so overcome with anxiety over what will happen if they don't like you that you can't possibly portray yourself to the other person as anything but anxious and embarassed.& Your true self never gets to come out, so people never get to know you, and the cycle becomes self-defeating. So really, work on self esteem first.& When your self esteem is up, you become emotionally independent.& If another person doesn't like you, then it's no big deal, because being left with yourself isn't that bad when you actually like yourself. Of course, I think you know all that, but it helps to think about it while you deal with your issues and will hopefully keep you from getting too overwhelmed.& You need to come to grips with a few things. 1) There are a lot of people out there.& Somewhere there are people who are like you and understand you, even if you haven't met them.& There is no generic mold that you can fit into that makes everyone suddenly like you. 2) Identify your flaws, and then embrace them.& See which flaws you can change for the better, and change them for yourself, not for the sake of others.& You don't have to actually change the flaws to feel better about yourself, either.& Simply recognizing that you can change them and resolving to do so can empower you.& Any flaws you have that can't be changed, just ignore them.& If you can't do anything about them, why worry?& There are plenty of people out there who won't see them as flaws, and the people who do aren't worth your time. 3) Nobody is perfect.& & Everyone has flaws, whether we like it or not.& Those flaws are what make people unique.& Don't expect miracles.& You are trying to improve yourself, not change yourself. 4) Be strong.& A lot can be accomplished through conviction and willpower.& Think about the way addicts go cold turkey.& They make a deep, internal decision that it is time for a change and they stick with that conviction.& | 2007-04-28 13:29:46 |
| 627 | 4150 | Thank you very much DfS3, i'll take all that on board. :) and thanks to brad too :) i am trying to self improve and i have the help of a school teacher who tells me "one step at a time" well i'm taking a pretty big step in afew weeks, i'm moving country on my own which i have the confidence to do. i hope that moving will help me improve on my confidence and self image a bit too. & i guess with the sexual stuff i'll just keep to masturbating on my own. at least i'm able to enjoy it now, if i do feel a bit lonely afterwards. | 2007-04-28 13:39:44 |
| 627 | 4151 | [user=1437]Emerald[/user] wrote: " i guess with the sexual stuff i'll just keep to masturbating on my own. at least i'm able to enjoy it now, if i do feel a bit lonely afterwards. " That's understandable since it is an inherently solitary activity.& But focus on the pleasure it brings you as well as the long term benefits.& I'll hazard a guess and ask if you are thinking of masturbation as a substitute for sex, which may be why you feel lonely afterwards. | 2007-04-28 14:22:44 |
| 627 | 4152 | well yeah, and just that i feel its a shame that there's no one to enjoy it with. i know it sounds selfish and wierd but sometimes i see how pretty i can look and i feel bad that there's no one else with me to sort of enjoy it. if you get what i mean | 2007-04-28 14:24:34 |
| 627 | 4153 | I do understand what you mean.& I can just advise patience again.& You're young and have decades of opportunity ahead of you.& Just bide your time, sort though your self esteem issues, and focus on the benefits of the masturbation (i.e. it will make you more receptive and relaxed when you do get a partner and will help minimize some of the awkwardness).& Knowing your body is commonly accepted (at least by those who take the time to think about it) as being one of the more important aspects of improving sex with others.& Think of it as training, if you will. And most importantly, there is you to enjoy it with. Masturbation is "you" time, first and foremost.& If you are able to share it with someone someday, fine, but make it about you first. | 2007-04-28 14:40:53 |
| 627 | 4156 | Thanks for the good advice again. I didn't see masturbation like that before | 2007-04-28 14:59:24 |
| 628 | 4130 | I hope not to offend anyone and if I have please accept my apolgies in advance. My family is a pretty open family reagrding all matters (including sex) since I was not raised that way I made sure that my home had that openess.& Well, i remarried approx. 4 years ago, i have a 16 year old daughter (to be 17 next week)& from my previous marriage and my new husband has a 17 year old son.& Before we married we lived together for many years (approximately 10) and the kids basically grew up together and consider or I though considred them as brother and sister.& Due to a problem with space in our home (long story) they have always shared a bedroom with a partition between it.& Now this problem is three-fold. So, last night, at approxiamtely 2:30 in the morning I get up due to an upset stomach and I go downstairs, to my shock, I hear moaning and growning, in the dark with a lit candle.& I see my stepson putting some type of lotion on his penis and penetrating my daughter.& I kept quiet and watched the entire thing (which was rather graphic, they used toys and all) As a parent, when they finished, i turned on the light and startled them both.& I treated them as adults (since they have been very responsible and trustworthy individuals) and told them that I watched the entire performance.& They both cried and told me that they have been experimenting with eachother for nearly 9 years.& I am sure you can imagine my shock.& & They did mention that although they have& boyfriend/girlfriend at the time which they also have sex with (safe sex and that they love), they can not seem to stop.& My daughter has been on birth control since she was 15 and is very responsible with it.& They convinced me that their physical realtionship is& all sexual (they do consider themselves brother and sister) but& that they do not want to stop beacuse it feels good and that they have learned so much from eachother. The tears they shared (we shared) included their feeling of guilt and their begging me to help them because they do not know how to find information on other siblings having sex and/or experimenting with eachother.& Which brings me to the first problem where can I guide them to so that they can read or relate to others that have done the same.& They read this website 9which bythe way is GREAT) and found a few stories but they want to relate to others.& Can you help?& Second problem,& I did try to convince them to stop their activity, but they told me it was going to happen if not home then in the streets.& I mean its bad enoughits happening I dont want them sneaking around doing it and it getting out.& So, I told them that they can proceed with their activities as long as they continue to be careful ( i mean, they arent blood relatives so there's no real problem with them continuing).& During our very, very long conversation, they mentioned that they have learned so much from eachother and since I was OK with them continuing, that they have been trying unsuccesfully to perform anal sex.& So, i told them that I will buy them what they needed to be successful at having anal sex.& & Then they asked about my husband and if I was going to tell.& I told them that i had to and they understood. Which is the third problem, I went back to bed,woke up my husband and told him what had happened.& He proceeds to tell me that he has known for quite some time now that he has caught them a number of times and doesnt feel there is anything wrong with it.& The kids had no clue that my husband knows.& He actually told me that on one ocassion, he had the sex talk with his son because he had seen his son performing on my daughter and realized that his son needed some guidance.& So without specifics he taught him how to do certain things.& Well I got very upset because i think that he should have told me about it as son as he found out.& He said I was over reacting.& Am I?& I mean dont misunderstand me.& I would prefer that they didnt continue but they are going to whether or not I object& and call me permissive or whatever you may I want them to be open and do it at our home.& Idonot want themto feel shame about it.& I want them to come to me or my husband if they have questions or need help.& C'mon how many of us had to learn so many things on our own about ses that could have turned out so much better if we had someone teaching us (atleast in my case) .& And, we are very open with sex and love and no topic is tabu in our home.& I would love answers, opinions and guidance.& I told the kids that I will have some type of website that they could go to or that we could visit together to read up on others sibling experiences. Thank you so much for any help.. & & | 2007-04-27 12:02:38 |
| 628 | 4143 | Hi, Given the taboo nature of this subject it is had to find factual information about it. I know it happens, but that is the limit of my knowledge. It is extremely difficult to seperate fantasy from reality, as most often the subject crosses over into the realm of porn. If you search for information you are more than likely to find yourself at a porn website than an educational or factual website. If you ask for people to share their experiences, can you seperate fact from fantasy, or the jokester? If you are in your situtation, or that of your children, I don't know of any place you can go for guidance. During a seminar I was at a couple years ago a woman who was doing a presentation said she knew several brothers and sisters who engage in sex, but she used a less politically correct word to describe what they do. Since she lived a kinky lifestyle and was open about it she was more likely to have these couples reveal this fact to her than members of the general public. Since society see this subject as so taboo, it doesn't want to discuss it outside the realm of the legal consequences. I am not sure of the legality step-siblings engaging in sex. If something is ilegal then that saves us from having to acknowledge, discuss, or possible accept the idea. In the media, taboo relationship as always presented as abnormal with adverse consequences. You wont see "normal" charactors in movies engaging in a taboo activity, and see a positive outcome. This applies to incest as well as homosexuality, though a little less so with homosexuality today than in years past. We only want to see the taboo, abnormal, attributed and connected to abnormal people, not to people like us. A woman I corresponded with several years ago inniated sexual relations with two of her brothers as a teen and was still engaging in sex with one of them in her thirties. She was able to experience things during that relationship she could not in others. Given her lifestyle, incest was one of the lesser taboos she engaged in. The problem that she, you, and your family face is, what if their relationship becomes public knowledge? What if their friends and boyfriend/girlfriend find out? Can they ever tell their friends and future spouces about this relationship? Even if their relationship is good and they benefit from it and the sex they engage in, will that be enough to outweigh the consequences of others finding out? Probably not. It will likely have to be a life long secret for them and you. If the community finds out you may loose friends, jobs, etc, etc. A TV movie that came out perhaps 20 years ago addressed the subject of step-siblings engaging in a romantic and sexual relationship. If the parents find themselves attracted to each other isn't possible their children will find each other attractive too? The simple solution in the movie was for the older male child to go to school out of state. The hope being they would outgrow each other. Now, does this simply solution work in the real world? Can you prevent or stop their romantic and sexual relationship and have them live together? Possibly, not probably not. You would have to provide an appropriate deterent. Teens always seem to to do what you don't want them to do, and the more you try to stop them, the more they want to do it. Even if you educate them about the negative consequences, lung cancer and smoking and sex and teen pregnancy being too examples. Allowing them seperate rooms probably wouldn't gain much at this point. Making one or the other move in with another parent is an option, but their running away is also an option open to them. You could have one or both sent to jail, which doesn't really solve anything other than making the general public feel better knowing they are "locked away" and seperated from their bad influence. There simply in no easy answer. Brad | 2007-04-27 21:13:09 |
| 628 | 4144 | It is my understand that a lot of opposite sex siblings will explore sexuality with one another, particularly when they are younger.& Incest between adult siblings is understandably less common because most adults have been made aware of the taboo on incest. I think incest is only fundamentally bad when it crosses generations, because that implies a mixing of roles.& Parents, aunts/uncles, etc have a position of authority over younger generations, and sexual contact in those situations becomes very complicated, specifically when the one person is young.& Sibling incest lacks that particular complication, but there are other biological concerns that persist as well, and of course the social repercussions involved if anyone finds out. Of course, that's really irrelevant in this situation I think, because even though these two are close like siblings, they are not, in reality, related by anything more than the marriage certificate of their parents.& It's not at all uncommon for two siblings in one family to have relationships with two siblings in another family.& Nor is it unheard of that the single parents of a younger couple get involved with one another.& In light of that, I can't really think of any reason why two non-blood-related siblings shouldn't have consensual sex. | 2007-04-27 21:52:56 |
| 628 | 4158 | I may be taking a risk here and I don't mean to be insensative, but there is something about your story here that doesn't wash.& | 2007-04-29 11:50:39 |
| 628 | 4159 | They do appear to have had a very long discussion in a short period of time. | 2007-04-29 16:16:09 |
| 628 | 4162 | I was hesitant to reply for the same reasons, but I figured it was a good spring board to make a general statement on the topic, even if the actual post that started this seems bogus. | 2007-04-29 17:40:25 |
| 628 | 4167 | I'm sorry you felt that it was bogus, I came to you with a very serious problem.& The conversation that& I had with the kids& took hours and hours to the extent that niether of them went to school or I to work.& Many tears were shed and much healing has to take place.& As a matter of fact it has become a very difficult subject in our home since the actual matter was brought about.& I figured that coming to such a site or open forum with so many people on it, some type of advise could be given to me (since you are so free to provide assistance with maturbation, sexual expereinces and fantasises, etc.) would give me assistance rather than insulting me.& I am a mother in need and in search for assistance.& In dispare, you go to any source that comes to you as a point of contact.& I deliberated for a long time to respond to you because I felt hurt.& Any parent that finds themselves in a moment of dispare would go anywhere especially since yes you were right googling it took me to porn sites, etc.& Obviously, I came to the wrong place.& After you read this feel free to delete my original post since once again I go to a place of judgement rather than sincere help. | 2007-05-01 11:53:36 |
| 628 | 4169 | and although we found the story suspect, we did offer legit advice.& this board has had occasional stories or questions that seemed really far-fetched, the authors of which never returned to the board, or at least never commented on the advice.& so don't take it personally if we don't believe you, just get what use you can out of the advice. | 2007-05-01 19:26:06 |
| 628 | 4172 | Wow, was a tough situation.& Hopefully you'll come back to see what I right. You mentioned that they have tried to stop, but they can't because it feels good. You also said they have bfs and gfs.& Have you mentioned to them, that the experimenting that they are performing would be considered cheating?& What would they do if their bf or gf found out?& I don't know what it is like to have a "special" bond with a step-sibling because I don't have any.& I only have my sister, and my parents are still married to each other.& Incest is a hush hush type of thing not many people talk about.& I have only heard about it in my Human Sex class I'm taking this semester.& I also have a friend I have been talking on the internet with for years and he's told me how he fantasizes about having sex with his blood related sister but wouldn't act upon it.& I at first was really grossed out when he confided in me about his incest fantasies.& I really didn't want him talking to me about it. About your husband knowing and not telling you.& He might have thought it wasn't something to just bring up to you. Unless he didn't think there was anything wrong with it. I really wish I could be of more help.& I wish you all the best. | 2007-05-04 12:52:22 |
| 631 | 4161 | Currently,& I have been persued with a new relationship that would involve both a man and a woman who currently is not in a real time active relationship until she relocates from outside the country. I have been involved with women in the past, but not in this particular scenario. And truthfully, they have never ended well. I am also a survivor of rape and incest that screwed up my body in more ways than one. One of my biggest problems that I have never seem to overcome is my fear and loathing of cunnlingus.& I never have really enjoyed it for many reasons, but one of the major ones is due to my inabilty to curb the HIGHLY sensitive region of my clitoral and vulva.& I even went so far as to pierce my hood in hopes that the constant rubbing of the barbell would at least kill some of the sensitivity.& It has done nothing to help, is just now pretty to look at (when I can see it). The other problem is also that even now touching my clit, with the hood pulled back, has shown me that I am "wired" a bit differently.& Almost like most men.& Most men have stated when asked the old age question, "Would you rather be thumped in the testicals, or hit full force with a base ball bat...?"& Most& say the latter of the two, because at least the pain would at least knock them out.& I think I have to agree.& Give me intense pain and even torment borderline torture than to gently caress my clit.& It's almost excrutiating and I stop it almost immediately. I need to know two things: 1) Is there a way to desensitize the clit? 2) Anyone have any ideas about how I can address the cunnlingus issue? I am desperate to make this relationship work, but feeling quite the "odd woman out" when discussing things that make me feel abnormal or are otherwise sometimes things that I can't control. Thanks in advance.. cp | 2007-04-29 16:51:21 |
| 631 | 4163 | Hi, I have recommend to other women who have a extremely sensitive clitoris to cover it with plastic wrap, an inexpensive form of dental dam, or to wear underwear during cunnilingus. Try underwear made from different types of fabric, cotton, silk, etc. Coat your vulva with a generous amount of lubricant. Petroleum jelly can be used externally, and would provided the thickest type of lubricant. Apply the lubricant before putting on your underwear or covering your vulva with the plastic wrap. If you find you need more stimulation, then use a thinner lubricant. Are you comfortable with the appearance of your vulva, and its smell and taste? The more uncomfortable you are with your vulva the less enjoyable cunnilingus will be. Spend time looking at your vulva in a mirror, apply some natural oil, and simply explore and pamper your vulva. Before you apply the lubricant, and perhaps at different times of the day, touch your vulva with your fingers and then check your scent and taste. If you like your appearance, scent, and taste you will be more comfortable with the idea of another person orally stimulating your vulva. Our pain threshold increases as we become sexually aroused, so put your clitoris off limits until you are highly aroused. Stimulate other erogenous zones, brain, nipples, vagina, anus, etc. until you feel highly aroused. Then, don't stimulate your clitoral glans directly. Cup your vulva in your hand and stimulate your clitoris indirectly by massaging your pubic mound and outer labia. Use their softness and padding to your advantage. The information about outercourse linked to below should be helpful: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/outer.htm It is possible for the clitoris to be the site of a yeast infection even if the vagina isn't, so you may need to find out if there is an irritant, i.e. infection, chemical, frictional, that is causing your sensitivity. For the relationship to work you need to communicate your needs and demand that they are met by your partner. Your prior abuse may have lowered your self confidence so you don't feel comfortable expressing your needs. You have to let her know your needs, not be concerned about everyone else, and their needs. Cunnilingus is only one form of sexual stimulation, and there is no law that says you have to engage in this activity. Brad & | 2007-04-29 18:35:21 |
| 632 | 4164 | I am 17 years old and I can get myself to orgasm every time i masturbate by rubbing my clit. When my boyfriend fingers& me/rubs my clit, i have trouble orgasm. I have never orgasmed with my boyfriend, only through masterbation. Also, when we have sex, I can't orgasm. What is wrong with me? Why can I only cum when I do it myself and why cant I cum with my boyfriend?& He thinks i still am shy around him because i've told him before im shy when naked in front of him and he thinks that it might be because im not that comfortable naked around him. Also he cant make me cum when he gives me oral. I wish I could just let loose and relax and enjoy then maybe i'd be able to cum. Any suggestions/tips please?????????????? | 2007-04-30 11:08:36 |
| 632 | 4165 | There is nothing wrong with you.& I think your boyfriend is right.& Being nervous is the quickest way to kill your libido.& There is also the strong possibility that he just doesn't know how to touch you properly.& At your age he can't have much experience reading body language, so he probably needs help learning from you.& Do you verbally communicate with him when he tries to pleasure you about what to do and what not to do?& If not, talk to him during oral and tell him what to do and what not to do.& If he is eager to take your instruction while performing oral, that alone is a big sign that he really cares about you.& Otherwise, it is up to him to convince you that you have nothing to be nervous about during sex, and that basically means talking with each other to establish more trust.& Also, you might have to take some time when masturbating to really think about the exact way you touch yourself.& Most people masturbate on auto-pilot and really couldn't describe the details of what the like if they were asked on the spot. | 2007-04-30 14:35:37 |
| 632 | 4166 | Hi, First, many others have the same experience. If you read through the website Q&A you will see this is true. At present you are the only one who knows how to stimulate yourself to orgasm so you need to teach him how, which means you need to show him how to masturbate to orgasm. So try masturbating together. If you aren't comfortable masturbating with him you really aren't ready for sex with him. When you masturbate alone you are likely fantasizing about something, but during sex with him you are likely thinking about what he is doing, or are worried that you will not experience orgasm. If you are thinking about anything other than something sexual or how good it feels, you are in the wrong mind set, and orgasm will not occur. If you try to have an orgasm you are less likely to experience one. Do what feels good. If it feels good then orgasm is more likely. If it doesn't feel good orgasm wont occur. If you are uncomfortable being naked with him then spend time together when you are both naked, but not having sex. When being naked is no big deal then explore sex. Sounds like you really aren't ready for full on sex and need to back track a little. Give each other a full body massage rather than trying manual or oral sex and intercourse. When you can stand naked in front of him and show off your body, including your vulva, then you are better prepared for partnered sex. The majority of women require direct clitoral stimulation during intercourse if they are to experience orgasm so get on top and stimulate your clitoris with your hand, though some women require the use of a muscle massager or vibrator. Go slow, and do what feels best. Don't try to be a bunny rabbit, sit there and rock as your stroke your clitoris. Don't worry about him, as if your are enjoying yourself he will know and be turned on by this. Be a little selfish at first. Other women also don't experience orgasm during oral sex. It is too soon to know if you can, as there are many possible reasons why you don't experience orgasm at all, to address why you don't during one specific activity. Please see the information linked to below, and have your boyfriend read it too. [url=the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm Vanessa, check the email address you entered into your account, as all your email is bouncing. Brad | 2007-04-30 19:46:24 |
| 634 | 4173 | So the title speaks for itself: this board has had almost no discussion in the last few weeks.& It was obviously never that high profile, but I'm curious what happened. Brad, I know you recently renamed the site to thesexualgoddess.com, but the old address still functions as well and obviously this forum is hosted at the-clitoris.com instead of the new domain.& I wonder if that has affected the traffic in some way. Anyway, just throwing that out there. | 2007-05-14 13:26:13 |
| 634 | 4175 | Well, I think I might know why being as I only just found my way back here. The old addy stopped working saying website could not be found and so I thought it was down. I didn't know the place was being moved but then I just got an email about a reply to a thread I had posted in before so I copy and pasted the link to find this new address. | 2007-05-17 06:51:49 |
| 634 | 4176 | i kind of am not able to find my way around....password changing is aggravating...the clitoris group rocked!...but it is nice to be here melissa | 2007-05-18 21:36:00 |
| 634 | 4177 | Yeah... I miss the discussions... I'm just busy all the time though... I'm either working or being with my boyfriend. | 2007-05-19 19:22:25 |
| 634 | 4179 | Hi, I have been on a much needed vacation the past two weeks. There have been over 16,000 visitors to the forum so far this month, so there is a slow down in postings rather than traffic, though traffic in general has decreased since January, for some unknown reason. My websites aren't as highly ranked on Google as they once were, for some unknown reason. Since I didn't do anything to achieve those rankings it is hard to know why, though Wikipedia is the main culprit for getting bumped from some top rankings. I moved all my websites to their own dedicated server, which created some access problems. I have been having tons of trouble accessing them, though it appears to be a local problem, that went away while I was on vacation but reappeared as soon as I got back yesterday. Something to do with my two computers sharing my DSL or something. Very aggravating. No one knows why. Once the domain name servers located around the world updated at the end of last month accessing the websites should have remained the same. They are still working on the old server I believe. The-Clitoris.com website is still up and running and is the primary website, as far as traffic. TheSexualGoddess.com website is simply a mirrored image of it with a different look. Brad | 2007-05-20 07:50:17 |
| 634 | 4180 | I just checked and see I have top ranking for the word "clitoris" on Google once again. :D Perhaps some of the behind the scenes changes I have made have paid off. Brad | 2007-05-20 08:08:26 |
| 634 | 4185 | Hi, The links on the website were incorrect, as they had a outdated URL. I fixed one yesterday I believe but didn't get the rest until today. :( The correct link is: www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/ Brad | 2007-05-21 17:42:50 |
| 634 | 4192 | Hi, I just fixed a problem with the registration process, I hope. If not, email me at brad*foxinternetservice.com replace the *symbol& with a @ symbol Brad | 2007-05-26 10:02:58 |
| 635 | 4181 | Hi, I was going to write an article for the website about this subject but it would be darn short, so perhaps here would be a better place to put the information, and allow others to add their experiences. The cervix isn't usually considered to be an erogenous zone, but rather numb or sensitive only to pressure or pain. Medical research in 2004 found that some women with spinal cord injuries could experience orgasm when their cervix was stimulated, even if there was lack of sensation in their vulva and outer vagina. This is because the cervix connects directly to the brain through the Vagus Nerve. This allows the resulting cervical nerve impulses to bypass the injury in the spinal cord. The pudendal and pelvic nerves that connect the clitoris, vagina, and uterus to the spine do so in the lower back, meaning spinal cord injuries usually alter or impair genital sensation. Once while stimulating a woman's cervix with my fingertips in a stroking manner she went crazy with pleasure and I had to use my other arm wrapped around her waist to hold her in place. She would have been climbing the wall if it was possible for me to follow her up it. Please note that I wasn't using force, only trying to maintain the stimulation as she moved about. She was also on top of a massage table, which didn't allow for a lot of movement. Afterwards, I asked if she had experienced orgasm or simply intense pleasure and she said it was the later. Meaning you don't have to experience orgasm to experience intense pleasure or to get your mind blown. You also don't necessarily need to stimulate the clitoris to experience sexual pleasure, which is good news for women who have a numb clitoris, a hypersensitive clitoris, or when it was removed surgically or as a result of female genital mutilation (FGM). Another woman I know loves deep thrusting with my penis or an amply sized dildo. There is no subtle way of putting it, she likes a real pounding, the deeper and harder the better. This mean her cervix is being pressed against repeatedly in a not so gentle manner. She probably would like this to happen all night if it wasn't so physically demanding, hence the need for a dildo in addition to my penis. Some women report they enjoy intercourse even though they don't experience orgasm, and may not want to experience orgasm. It is possible that for some of these women cervical stimulation is equally or more pleasurable/satisfying as a clitoral/vaginal orgasm. Many women/couples are simply trying too hard to experience orgasm, and that is why they don't experience orgasm, or experience enjoyable sex. A word of caution, many women find deep penetration very painful, so don't assume they will all see stars if you do the things I mentioned above, well she may see stars circling your head after she smacks you with a frying pan if your efforts cause her intense pain. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] For some women there may be a fine line between pain and pleasure, and that line shifts as they become sexually aroused. This is because our pain threshold increases as we become sexually aroused. This means, a woman MAY enjoy cervical stimulation, gentle, not just hard, when highly aroused even if she doesn't at the start of the sexual experience. You can use your fingers, a dildo, a vibrator, or your penis to stimulate a woman's cervix. Start out with gentle caressing using one or two fingers. It may work best for women who are able to relax their vaginal and pelvic muscles so you can get 2-4 fingers inside without causing her discomfort or pain. I believe this woman was able to accommodate most of my hand, which allowed for some vigorous stimulation. I was using a waving motion with my finger tips that caused the woman's cervix to move back and forth. I don't know if simply pressing a dildo in at a constant pressure will have the same affect as moving it in and out. A constant pressure may enhance her clitoral orgasms, or feel nice by itself; some women enjoy using large/huge toys. If a woman wants to try this on her own, a long dildo may be needed, i.e. a double head one, as they are long and provide a nice "handle". Some dildos actually have a handle, perhaps for this very reason. An insertable vibrator may stimulate the cervix without the need for pressure or thrusting; allow the vibrations to do their thing. A penis may be a less versatile tool to use, as they may not be long enough, or the owner lacks the necessary stamina and control to do it for as long as she likes, (sorry guys) but don't be afraid to give it a try. Rear entry and girl on top typically allows for the deepest penetration, as do some modified missionary positions, i.e. with her legs up and out of the way. You can alternate between shallow/slow and deep/hard strokes to allow for a rest period, and to tease her. Have fun, but also be prepared for a serious workout. While orgasm is a possibility of cervical stimulation, at least for some women, the intent of this activity should be to give her, or yourself, pleasure, perhaps intense pleasure. Some may want to experiment with clitoral stimulation at the same time if they desire orgasm, and it is okay not too. I would like to hear from others their experiences with cervical stimulation. What worked or didn't work for you? Have you overlooked this potential erogenous zone? References: [url=www.wired.com/medtech/health/news/2007/01/72325] www.wired.com/medtech/health/news/2007/01/72325 [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagus_nerve]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagus_nerve | 2007-05-20 19:26:56 |
| 635 | 5381 | I discovered the cervix and nearby sensitive areas while masturbating at age 13. At that time I was able to insert my finger deep enough to touch around the cervix, and there was a spot deep in the vaginal crevice next to it (believe it's called the fornix) that imparted a special, intense thrill when rubbed. Like the G-spot, but even more intense. Unfortunately, my vaginal cavity deepened noticeably over the next few months as my body continued maturing, with the result that I could no longer reach the special spot with a finger. (There is no obvious way to reach it with a dildo, either.) However, if I had a partner, penis size would be important to me, not only for the visual turn-on, but also because I need cervical stimulation to be really satisfied. My only relationship was 20 years ago, and my partner's perfectly normal 6 inch penis was just an inch or two too short to pound me where I craved it. (My vagina is only of average depth, perhaps 7-7.5 inches, but the discrepancy of a couple of inches really does matter.) | 2008-01-31 22:24:12 |
| 635 | 5391 | Thanks for this very interesting bit of information! I hope you manage to collect more information about this until there's enough to add to the website. This perspective is certainly something I think would complement the existing storehouse of information. Quizer | 2008-02-02 05:39:12 |
| 635 | 5396 | I recently created a survey about sex and the cervix, which a small number of women have participated in so far. www.misterpoll.com/polls/277837/results Brad | 2008-02-02 09:26:58 |
| 636 | 4182 | Hi, Another subject that I want to address on the website is the subject of pleasure. I am not talking about orgasm, nor perhaps sexual pleasure, but physical pleasure. Obviously physical pleasure is going to be closely linked psychological and emotional pleasure. We tend to focus too much on orgasm. Sex education websites and other forms of media tend to deal exclusively with the subject of experiencing orgasm, i.e. techniques of how to have them. Which is okay except many women cannot experience orgasm. For them, orgasm may mean frustration, psychological and physical, rather than pleasure. Sexual pleasure isn't so much a pleasure as a vehicle to frustration for some. So my questions for the ladies are: What do the terms "physical pleasure" and "sexual pleasure" mean to you and is there a difference? I would guess men and women would answer these questions differently, resulting in conflict within their relationships. What physical pleasures do you experience on a daily or not so daily basis?& This can be the sensations associated with taking a hot shower, climbing between fresh clean sheets, or perhaps even urination and bowel movements. With our modern fast paced lives, perhaps we aren't aware of physical pleasure on a frequent basis, as we may not be permitted this luxury. If you couldn't or can't experience orgasm, what non-sexual physical activities would you enjoy participating in? If you wanted to avoid sexual arousal and orgasm, but still experience physical pleasure, what would you do? I am guessing these would fall along the lines of hugging and kissing, but are there others? Are there physical activities or experiences you enjoy that don't result in sexual arousal? Or are physical and sexual pleasure too closely linked? If something feels good is it most likely to result in a sexual response? To what degree does stress affect your ability to experience pleasure? Are you aware of a connection, and if so, how? To what degree do you experience physical numbness?& That is, is your body less sensitive to physical pleasure than you believe it should be? Is this a frequent or constant experience? Do you by chance engage in cutting/self injury? What physical non-sexual activities would you like to engage in with your partner that would give you pleasure, but not necessarily sexual pleasure? Have you explored Tantric sexual activities? You don't need to answer all these questions,& perhaps only the ones that are important to you. It may be easier to answer these questions if you have never experienced orgasm, or intense sexual pleasure, than if you do so regularly, but then I don't know. If you don't want your answers to be public knowledge then feel free to email me directly. You can access& it by clicking on my user name, as if I post it here I will be SPAMMED to death. Thanks, Brad | 2007-05-20 22:54:21 |
| 637 | 4183 | Hi, I linked to the following article in my posting about the Sexual Cervix, but thought it might be a good idea to draw everyone's attention to it. [url=www.wired.com/medtech/health/news/2007/01/72325] www.wired.com/medtech/health/news/2007/01/72325 Brad | 2007-05-21 04:15:18 |
| 638 | 4184 | Hi, On occassion I provide women with sensual/erotic massages. These typically last two hours, or more. :cool: I could not do this if I attempted to do it in a bed, because of knee injuries and poor flexibility; kneeling becomes painful quickly. :( If either partner has physical limitations a massage table or equivilent may help overcome them. Some of the rapid hand motions I do during vulvar massage would be very difficult if I was laying or sitting in bed. Plus, in some cases I must hold the woman's body against my hips to provide some control and stability, as when they get very excited they naturally want to move about, but that makes maintaining a constant rythm difficult, which is something many women enjoy or need if they are to experience orgasm. I can move my hands in a fast vibratory motion on their vulva and clitoris, which seems to work very well. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] A massage table allows you full and easy access to a partner's body. Since you are standing you have a great deal of freedom and flexibility in your movements and can move your entire body to the area you want to stimulate. Since a person's entire body is a potential erogenous zone, it is beneficial to have easy access to their head as well as their feet during full body massage/stimulation. I have a professional massage table produced by Earthlight. I had the foresight to buy one with extra padding, as I wanted women to feel very comfortable, without pressure points. They aren't cheap, at least good ones, but a good investment that will last you years. Mine is strong and sturdy enough that you can engage in intercourse on top of it, with both of you on it.& [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img] You can also adjust the height of the table so your partner is at the appropriate height to prevent back strain. www.earthlite.com/ If you don't have access to one then many flat table surfaces will work, if they are at the correct height and narrow. Coffee tables will work for those who can kneel, but don't provide the freedom of movement that standing does.& You may want to acquire& a sturdy used wooden table, i.e. inexpensive, and shorten the legs to create your own massage table.& Kitchen tables and counters may work,& as may garage work benches or& portable work benches.& Some large bathroom counters may also work. Kitchen tables and counters may be too high for massage, but a kitchen table and chair givens new meaning to the term "eating out." :P They may also work for intercourse if you are tall enough. You will then need to provide the necessary padding, which can be exercise mats, sleeping bag pads used for camping and hiking, and perhaps lawn furniture cushions. It also possible that a folded comforter will work. If you are using a massage oil then you may want to put soft towels down help protect the padding, but the oil may pass through a single towel. The massage table allows not only for massage but also just about every other sexual activity. You can orally and manually stimulate a woman's vulva; you can lay your upper body between her legs and rest it on the table so you aren't arched over. If her head is at the end of the table she can orally stimulate you if she desires, being careful of neck strain. If she moves to the other end of the table you can have vaginal or anal intercourse; you hold and support her legs. During the massage she can reach over and hold/stimulate your penis if desired; more to provide contact than to stimulate you to orgasm. I have also used velcro wrist restrains with nylon ties to employ a little light bondage. :P You can gently or not so gently spank her bottom and thighs if desired, and as we found out, spanking her vulva with appropriate care can have some interesting results. :shock: (I was playfully spanking her "naughty pussy," as she is a very "naughty girl," when she started squirting.) :-D I hope this information has provided some naughty ideas for you all. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img] Brad | 2007-05-21 05:17:46 |
| 638 | 4264 | OH MY GOD, that sounds like fun! Aren't you the naughty one? Every woman on this forum is going to be having wild fantasies about sex with Brad! | 2007-06-10 11:48:40 |
| 638 | 4266 | [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img] & [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] & :-D:-D | 2007-06-11 06:37:37 |
| 639 | 4186 | This web page is kind of funny. www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=uscc_part1 | 2007-05-23 07:32:13 |
| 640 | 4187 | Found in the March 2007 issue of Marie Claire magazine style="font-weight: bold;" In Juchitan, Mexico, daughters are more valuable than sons. So mothers are encouraging their boys to become girls. At the festival of the Virgin of Juguila in Juchitan, a small Mexican city near the Guatemalan border, men sit quietly on the sidelines of a makeshift dance hall, swilling Corona from bottles, cowboy hats pulled low over their eyes, while women arrange chairs in a semicircle, dressed in traditional Zapotec galawear—long, swirling skirts and velvet tops embroidered with multicolored flowers—red roses pinned to their straight black hair. And when the four-piece salsa band starts to play, they dance not with their men, but with each other. At the fringes of the semicircle, a group of younger women in their 20s and 30s linger. They are dressed in utterly modern clothes: clingy polyester cocktail dresses, three inch heels, and glittery eye shadow. One has tossed a scarf around her neck that trails down her back. Another is clad in an ice-blue camisole and tight capris. They are strikingly different from their older counterparts with the long gray braids, who wear petticoats beneath their full, ankle-length skirts. The biggest difference, though, isn’t the clothes. It’s the fact that these glamorous, slightly tawdry women are actually men. Muxes, they’re called in the Zapotec language, which literally means “gay men†but translates culturally as a third gender, with few similarities to gay men in America. Muxes dress and wear makeup like women. They shave their legs and tweeze their eyebrows into high, thin arches. They are respected in their community for excelling at “women’s workâ€â€”designing festival gowns, embroidering blouses, and making the elaborate decorations that adorn parade floats. But perhaps most distinctively, muxes in this Mexican village seem to have little interest in romantic liaisons with other men. Of the 500 to 800 muxes estimated to live in Juchitan, locals say only three live with lovers. They are classic mama’s boys, who pledge to live with and care for their mothers until the day they die. “I will stay with my mother always,†Estrella Vazquez Guerra, 25, tells me when I meet “her†on the front porch of her family’s turquoise one-room house, where she sits embroidering a blouse. Estrella, a member of the third gender, is tall and thin, with long limbs, high cheekbones and an aquiline nose. Though she claims to have a boyfriend—“not serious, of courseâ€â€”she would never consider living with him, she says. Her mother, a squat woman in her mid 40s with warm brown eyes and a gold-capped smile, beams across the porch at her daughter/son. Whether there are more muxes in Juchitan, which has a population of 67,000, than in other small Mexican cities is arguable and hard to prove. At the very least, muxes in Juchitan are more accepted than muxes in other parts of Mexico, with its notoriously macho attitudes and male-dominated politics. One reason is that muxes here play an integral role in perpetuating the 400-year-old traditions of the region, seamlessly blending Catholicism with local Zapotec culture in their artistic endeavors. Every three or four days, there is a fiesta in Juchitan. Most celebrate saints or the day on which an apparition of the Virgin Mary appeared to an indigenous nonbeliever. This nonstop partying means the muxes’ design and decoration businesses are in high demand. “Muxes work harder than men, and we’re more curious and entrepreneurial than women,†says Estrella. “We are known for our artistic talent. People seek us out—they like to have their dresses made by muxes.†To kick off a fiesta, some neighborhoods hold an event called a regada, a sort of parade to build excitement through the town. The day before the party for the Virgin of Juquila, two floats glide through the streets of Juchitan carrying young girls and boys who toss packets of instant noodles, bright plastic balls, and laundry detergent to spectators on the side of the road. The floats are mounted on trucks, which have been decorated with papier-mâché flowers and painted wooden panels, all created by muxes. In the center of the float, coordinating the seat assignments and the gift-throwing, is a muxe in full fiesta regalia. But muxes do more than fulfill a cultural role; their jobs also tend to be more lucrative than the work of either men or women. Men in Juchitan generally work as fishermen or campesinos (peasant farmers), earning 1000 pesos (about $92) a month. Women, by making tortillas or tamales to sell at the market, earn slightly more. But a muxe can make as much as 3000 pesos a month selling dresses and decorations. It’s not that other women—or men, for that matter—couldn’t dabble in the same profession. But over the years, the muxes have come to dominate the design industry. Such salaries make them an economic boon to their families. “People see how we earn good money making dresses,†says Estrella, “and if they only have sons, five or six boys, sometimes they ask one—couldn’t you be a muxe? We want you to do what the muxes do for a living.†“I wouldn’t be living if it weren’t for my son Felicza,†says 45-year-old Antonia Regalado Jimenez. “She is my greatest supporter. I’m lucky to have her.†Jimenez’s husband is a campesino, and Felicza makes dresses and party decorations. Like most muxes, she also helps her mother with the household chores. Felicza’s five siblings are all married and live on their own, but she remains with her mother. Given the economic advantages and social prominence a muxe in the family brings, it is not unreasonable to assume that mothers encourage this transgender behavior in their children. But it’s not something most are comfortable admitting. “Other women say to me, ‘You are so lucky to have a muxe. I wish I had one,’†says 40-year-old Antonia Guerra Aquina. Two of Aquina’s eight children, including Vidal Aquina Guerra (in Mexican families, children take their mother’s maiden name as their last), are muxes. “Sometimes, neighbors will ask my advice: ‘What do you do in order to have a muxe?’†Aquina shrugs and smiles smugly. “I tell them it runs in the family.†Like many others in this town, Aquina says being a muxe is genetically predetermined. But when you listen to her describe her muxe children’s early tendencies—playing with girls instead of boys, playing with dolls instead of trucks, putting on their sisters’ skirts and swaying their hips to music—the language is nearly identical to that used by other muxe mothers. So similar, in fact, that it sounds canned, rehearsed—it’s been the party line for generations—when in fact the mothers are subconsciously molding their sons into daughters. Indeed, other locals believe that muxes are made, not born; that their feminine tendencies are nurtured by their mothers in the hopes of elevating their family’s status. “It’s an economic thing,†says Rosario Fuentes Morales, a local business owner. “It’s no coincidence that one finds more muxes in poor families. People know that a muxe will give them a better life, that they will always be cared for.†Felicza herself believes that her muxe lifestyle is a product of her mother’s encouragement. When she first began exhibiting feminine tendencies at age 4, her mother supported them. “She treated me like my sisters,†says Felicza. “She saw that I was drawn to dolls and that I had taken an interest in her skirts. She asked me if I wanted her to make me a huipile,†which is a traditional embroidered blouse. Then, too, in a town in which women are generally more respected than men, it’s possible that female role models simply have a stronger pull. “The women rule Juchitan,†says Silvia Dehesa, 36, a restaurant manager in the town. “We are much harder working. The men drink too much and sleep half the day and everyone knows it.†The very fact that muxes are so visible in the culture of Juchitan might also help elicit those tendencies in young boys. Estrella Vasquez Guerra was 10 when she met Felicza, who, at age 17, knew the attention and admiration her muxe status drew and spent weekends parading around with her muxe friends, proudly displaying red lips, gold earrings and fake eyelashes. Estrella used to go to Felicza’s house to watch them apply makeup, awestruck by their beauty. “I used to say, ‘Why don’t you try on some makeup, too?’†Felicza recalls. “I could see how much she wanted to experiment.†But Estrella was too frightened. Her father, an alcoholic with violent tendencies, had caught her dancing in her mother’s skirt when she was 8 and beat her with an electrical cord. When her mother tried to defend her son, Estrella’s father beat her as well. “It was very sad,†Estrella says softly as she recalls the story, picking at a tortilla on her plastic dinner plate. “I felt responsible.†It’s a common theme among muxes: Mothers and other community members celebrate these third-gender breadwinners, but their fathers, dismayed that their sons are veering toward femininity in a culture in which men are expected to hunt and drink and fight, try to beat the muxe out of them. The mothers step in to protect their sons, and a powerful mother-muxe bond begins to develop. With the threat of her father’s temper always looming over her, Estrella repressed her desire to act on her feminine urges publicly until she was 20, although at home, she was still very much fulfilling the muxe role as her mother’s helper. It took Felicza’s encouragement for her to make the decision to “show herself to the world,†as she puts it. “I could see that she was suffering,†says Felicza, “and I told her that she had to liberate herself.†Muxes often choose to celebrate their third-gender lifestyle with big parties, announcing to their community that they are choosing to accept their futures as domestic helpers and dressmakers. Juchitan hosts two annual parties devoted to muxes: La Vela de las Autenticas Intrepidas Buscadoras del Peligro, or “Festival of the Authentic, Intrepid Danger-Seekersâ€â€”a no-holds-barred gathering of cross-dressers that draws people from around the world—and Baila Conmigo, which means “Dance with Me,†a party that is attended by the entire town of Juchitan, from toddlers to rough-soled farmers to octogenarians. At that time, many muxes also swap their male names for female names, usually inspired by famous singers or telenovela stars. But Estrella had lived in secrecy for too long to share the spotlight with the dozens of other muxes coming out at the balls. She was compelled to make a strong, solo statement to the world—and she wanted it to be during a quinceanera, the traditional party Mexican girls have when they turn 15 to mark the threshold of adulthood. Despite the fact that she was five years past the proper age for a quinceanera, Estrella announced to her family that she planned to throw one for herself. She also told them that she was going to wear a dress. “You can’t stop me,†she said to her father, “because I am paying for the party myself.†The day before the event, Estrella’s father told her that he planned to come to the party drunk and raise hell. “I said, ‘If you do that, I will call the police.’†In the end, her father not only showed up, he behaved himself—although in photographs he looks reluctant and surly in his baseball cap, posing beside his glamorous muxe son. Estrella, by contrast, looks exultant in her silvery-blue ball gown, her layered black locks sprayed into an elaborate hairdo worthy of a nighttime soap star from the ‘80s. The next day, at the after-party known as the lavada (or “the washing of the pots and pansâ€), her father made up for the sobriety of the previous day by drinking himself into oblivion. As promised, Estrella called the police, and her father spent three days in jail. “He hasn’t said a critical word to me about being a muxe since then,†she says. Vidal Aquina Guerra publicly embraced her muxe nature at a much younger age: At 8, she was asking to wear a dress to sell bread at the market with her mother. By age 12, she was wearing miniskirts and heels out on the street. Today, at 17, she stuffs her bra and wears smoky purple eye shadow and fuchsia lipstick, and her laugh is high-pitched and melodious, the studied device of a coquette. She has even injected hormones from time to time, although she says she stopped because they were too expensive--$6 an injection for the cheapest variety. Last year, she took the name Mariana. “Vidal is dead,†she says emphatically when people try to address her now by her former male name. In 2006, Mariana clinched the most prestigious title available on the muxe social scene: She was chosen as the queen of the Baila Conmiga. It’s flattering, yes, but it also means she is expected to spend $500 on a dress and refreshments for the pre-party. Mariana’s family is desperately poor. Her father is an iguana hunter, her mother a tortilla maker, and it is incumbent upon Mariana to supplement her family’s income. The lavish dress seems out of her reach, although she is working long hours as a waitress (“and occasionally a little more,†she says) at Rincon del Brujo (“The Wizard’s Cornerâ€), a gentlemen’s club on the outskirts of town. It’s 10pm at the local ranch, and the fiesta for the festival of the Virgin of Juquila is still in full swing. Locals have been partying hard since the festival’s opening ceremonial prayer at 5am (where sugar cookies and beer were served to all who attended the before-sunrise gathering), but judging by the endless booze flowing and the hips swaying on the dance floor, it’s going to be quite a long night. The older women cluster together, dancing in their traditional costumes, while husbands and sons look on, nursing their cervezas. In another corner, the muxes cut loose to the sounds of the salsa band, shimmering in their tight tops and clunky high heels. For now, the two groups remain separate. But if tonight goes like most festival fiestas, after a few more rounds of drinks when everyone is feeling good, some of the muxes will cross the room to ask a very special person to dance. As fathers and brothers watch stoically from their seats, Estrella, Mariana, Felicza, and several others will pair off with the women who gave birth to them, raised them, and regard them as domestic companions. And as the salsa band slows the tempo to a soft serenade, mother and muxe will share a dance that lasts a lifetime. | 2007-05-23 07:39:01 |
| 641 | 4188 | Hey Could i ask the sex positions that pleasure you the most? I have personally found these very pleasurable : 1)& In missionary position with my wife, but with her thighs closed. This gives the entire organ of the man a maddening grip! 2)& Wife on her knees and me taking her from back. This allows man to pound to his heart's content without fearing to hurt her. 3)& Wife lying on her back and man lying sideways. The man then curls up around her bottom and enters her from sideways. This again gives a very good 'friction' and 'grip' than other straight penetrations. | 2007-05-24 05:59:12 |
| 641 | 4203 | well a variation on 1...she sits at the edge of the bed with her knees up to her chest and her ankles crossed so the posterior part of her pussy is what you see....then you slip under and in between her legs while still standing and enter her with her legs and thighs firmly wrapped around you....you can put it in and get great penetration that way and thrust fast and deep....until you come....the moving the thighs back and forth on her part may cause her to come fast too! & | 2007-05-27 19:25:09 |
| 641 | 4204 | Most Importantly, positions at 2 & 3 above allow the man& to caress her clit simultaneously with penetration! | 2007-05-27 22:32:25 |
| 642 | 4189 | Anyone care to comment on the new article I have added to the website today? [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/bodyimage.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/bodyimage.htm | 2007-05-25 06:40:49 |
| 642 | 4190 | Some great points there. Aren't those fake boobs revolting? I can't understand why any woman would want to look like that. I'd rather be totally flat chested than look like that.:-&& You can always tell fake boobs anyway because they lose the natural concave profile on their upper side when viewed from the side and actually become convexed instead and look unnatural. Whats the point if everyone can see they are just fake anyway? I remember one guy in an issue of More magazine in the UK, he was a regular contributor and also one of the agony uncles& for the problem& page where readers wanted a male point of view on things,& commenting that he was told that fake boobs were better because it stopped the boobs from wobbling but he pointed out that a wobble is one of the most attractive aspects of boobs to men and that losing that wobble made them less attractive. I've also read about a lot of guys saying they don't like the feel of fake boobs. I hate those pages in magazines that have photos of celebs with spots and messy hair or a bit of a belly etc...because they are basically comfirming that these things are flaws that they should be ashamed of and if the celebs should be ashamed of them, so should we. Rather than actually make us feel better about ourselves, they just make the whole problem worse and many people don't even realise this. These pages actually make them smile and sigh with relief but then they never notice how much these types of articles have a negative effect on their personal perception of themselves. | 2007-05-25 09:24:19 |
| 642 | 4191 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Some great points there. Aren't those fake boobs revolting? I can't understand why any woman would want to look like that. I'd rather be totally flat chested than look like that.:-&& You can always tell fake boobs anyway because they lose the natural concave profile on their upper side when viewed from the side and actually become convexed instead and look unnatural. Whats the point if everyone can see they are just fake anyway? " Those are particularly bad examples of boob jobs, especially Tara Reid's mangled work.& You'd think a celebrity could afford a high end surgeon.& I'm not a big fan of the boob job because I don't think bigger is necessarily better, but I have seen some extremely natural looking work before.& One of the problems is that either doctors don't advise their patients on what would look natural on their bodies, or that the patients don't take their doctor's advice. " I remember one guy in an issue of More magazine in the UK, he was a regular contributor and also one of the agony uncles& for the problem& page where readers wanted a male point of view on things,& commenting that he was told that fake boobs were better because it stopped the boobs from wobbling but he pointed out that a wobble is one of the most attractive aspects of boobs to men and that losing that wobble made them less attractive. I've also read about a lot of guys saying they don't like the feel of fake boobs. " I think that applies only to certain sizes and shapes of breasts.& Larger breasts typically just droop and aren't very becoming, wobble or not.& Smaller breasts may jiggle, but I wouldn't say that they wobble.& A lot of truly flat chested women get firm, nice looking implants up to a B cup that look very natural.& The wobble only really matters, IMO, for the pretty narrow size of the mid/full C cup to the small D where you get a natural slope without much droop or sag. " I hate those pages in magazines that have photos of celebs with spots and messy hair or a bit of a belly etc...because they are basically comfirming that these things are flaws that they should be ashamed of and if the celebs should be ashamed of them, so should we. Rather than actually make us feel better about ourselves, they just make the whole problem worse and many people don't even realise this. These pages actually make them smile and sigh with relief but then they never notice how much these types of articles have a negative effect on their personal perception of themselves. " At the same time, they can also be harmful when they show celebs looking superhumanly perfect.& The problem isn't that they show certain things as flaws, but the entire concept of celebrity worship. As for the article Brad posted, I don't particularly care for the name of it, "Deception through Make Up."& Obviously people go to extreme measures in attempts to fit an image in their minds (bad surgery, unhealthy diets, etc).& However, I don't see how anyone can criticize makeup.& You wear makeup for the same reason you get a certain hair cut, or wear certain clothes.& Some say it isn't natural to primp and all this, but it most certainly is.& Birds are a wonderful example of this behavior in nature.& They puff out their colored feathers, fan their tails, and dance around to attract mates.& We don't have feathers, obviously, but we do the same thing when we deck ourselves out in fancy clothes and whatnot. | 2007-05-25 13:00:37 |
| 642 | 4196 | Hi All, I have made some changes to the article, hopefully for the better. I put the original together in a couple of days, which is very quick for me. It needed some fine tuning, and perhaps needs a little more work. Thanks for the feedback. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/bodyimage.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/bodyimage.htm Brad | 2007-05-27 10:09:06 |
| 642 | 4205 | Here is a link to an interesting video: [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl6hNj1uOkY] www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl6hNj1uOkY | 2007-05-28 11:40:53 |
| 642 | 4209 | Hi, I have created a new page for the Body Image section of the website that addresses appropriate body weight. I haven't added it to the website officially yet. You can check it out at the following link. Any feedback would be appreciated. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/weight.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/weight.htm Thanks, Brad | 2007-05-28 15:10:59 |
| 642 | 4213 | Hi, I fixed the links posted here, as they were pointing to a location other than what they showed. Brad | 2007-05-29 08:18:09 |
| 642 | 4237 | Had a couple interesting experiences recently. While out with friends, a friend with tiny breasts was showing them off a little while keeping them covered. Another friend with implants was actually a little jealous, as she was getting less attention, even though her breasts are much larger and obvious and she was showing off cleavage. A couple weeks later the same girl with small breasts was actually flashing her breasts and toying with her large nipples in front of us. Being drunk and horny is a dangerous combination for some girls. :P So obviously she was getting a lot of attention. Again, the girl with implants wasn't. When I was later talking to the girl with the small breasts I recommended she show off her small breasts and large nipples rather than wearing a padded bra, as she usually does. Our resulting conversation was basically that she can't get bras without padding, and the like, unless she shops in the little girls section of the store. Meaning, short of getting a "training bra" she can't find bras that show off her natural breasts. It seems all "women's" bras for women with small breasts now presume they want to hide their real breasts, and pretend they have more than they do. We were talking about padded bras at another gathering and one gal said she had to wear one to have cleavage, and I think another gal with small breasts agreed. I said, "The only problem is that sooner or later they must come off." and the one gal agreed. If you are dating and wearing a padded or push up bra, what type of barrier and self image problem does this create when it comes to undressing in front of your partner? Women basically strap their breasts down so they are nothing more than lifeless lumps on their chest. The only distinction between them is their size. The only perceived way of gaining attention is then to have larger breasts. If women don't wear a bra and they attract attention because they are unique, giggly, and have nipples they don't like that attention. If they wear a padded bra or get implants and their breasts get more attention as a result that is ok. :? Is this strange or what??? I have only known one woman with tiny breasts who didn't wear a bra. She wore a thick half t-shirt instead. It was pretty courageous for her to do so, and actually surprisingly honest. Another co-worker once went without a bra, and I heard about it from other female coworkers before I saw her. Her female co-workers had nothing nice to say. I wondered if they were afraid they might have to go braless if others started to do the same. Women are their own worst enemies. Just some more observations. Brad | 2007-06-02 09:35:57 |
| 642 | 4240 | Women still feel the need to have larger boobs because they think this is what attracts the guys. I still see and hear many guys adding big boobs to the list of things they appreciate about women so that doesn't help. Of course, most don't actually mind but there is still this massive stigma around that women should have big boobs and, yes, other women can be the worst critics of all when it comes to the boobs of another woman so we have that to contend with as well. Personally, I wouldn't want to use my boobs to gain attention because there are more important aspects to me than them. I'd like to know that a guy would appreciate me as a person with a mind and feelings rather& than just some potential lay. It's true that smaller bras all seem to be padded like all women want to look larger and, unfortunately, most smaller chested women do feel self conscious because of it and wish they were larger. | 2007-06-02 16:37:01 |
| 642 | 4252 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Women still feel the need to have larger boobs because they think this is what attracts the guys. I still see and hear many guys adding big boobs to the list of things they appreciate about women so that doesn't help. " I see and hear many guys saying they like& large boobs too.& It often seems that most of those men want& large boobs that don't droop, which seems impossible without implants. | 2007-06-06 01:25:47 |
| 642 | 4255 | Yeah, they have spent too much time looking at unrealistic airbrushed photos of women on and in magazines and expect real women to look like that also. It seems they are deceived just as much as the women are as to what a real woman should look like. No wonder women feel the need to have this, that and the other done to themselves thinking they'll be deemed unattractive if they don't. I was waiting in the queue the other day in Boots and they have magazines near the counter and I remember seeing something on the front of one saying "Beach bellies" and 2 or 3 photos of celeb bellies looking less than flat and toned in their beach wear& and it just remindered me of this topic.:? | 2007-06-06 10:18:41 |
| 642 | 4259 | I have been working on an article that addresses the subject of breast size and the media for a week or two. It isn't done yet, but here is what is done so far. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/b_size.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/b_size.htm Brad | 2007-06-07 10:22:24 |
| 642 | 4304 | Hi, The article on Breast Size is tentatively finished. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/b_size.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/b_size.htm Brad | 2007-06-26 12:18:34 |
| 644 | 4194 | I have a very small clitoris.& By small I mean 1 mm in diameter when flaccid, and a whooping 2 mm in diameter when erect.& She is a wee lass.& I had a very hard time finding her the first time.& There is a tunnel where the clitoris should be, and only when she was erect did I realize that the thin strip of tissue attached to the bottom of the tunnel was my clitoris!& Incidentally, this very small clitoris is accompanied by lusciously large inner labia lips! & The problem I have is getting enough sensation to her to masturbate.& The only thing that I have found to work is a shower massager directly on the spot at high water pressure.& This is not convenient, and I am at the mercy of the municipal water service as high water pressure is key.& I am looking for other methods.& Hand massage is completely useless.& The Hitachi Wand Massager does not get the vibrations to the right spot, and the nub attachment works a bit, but the wee lass gets numb before anything really gets going.& A rabbit style vibrator works to some degree, but I thing that is because of the vaginal vibrations more than the clitoral ones. & Does anyone out there have a similar anatomy and do they have any tips? | 2007-05-27 08:52:22 |
| 644 | 4197 | Hi, Have you explored to see if you have other erogenous zone that may help with arousal and orgasm? Nipples, vagina, G-Spot, cervix, anus, thighs, etc. Some say the anus is the second most sensitive area on a woman after her clitoris, as it has a high concentration of nerve endings. Perhaps stimulating a combination of erogenous zones will help. You might also be trying to reach orgasm too quickly. Many women need to learn how to make love to themselves and utilize their brain more. To stimulate your clitoris directly you may want to try inserting a lubricated cotton swab (Q-tip) under the hood. Lubricate it with a thick lubricant like petroleum jelly and be gently. This may also loosen the hood and any adhesions and trapped smegma. Brad | 2007-05-27 10:16:21 |
| 644 | 4202 | hi Nola what do you mean by a tunnel..is it the hood?....also do you have a frenulum where your minor labia attach to the clitoris? Some women with& a tiny clitoris don't have a frenulum melissa | 2007-05-27 19:10:45 |
| 644 | 4206 | [user=130]melissa malena[/user] wrote: "hi Nola what do you mean by a tunnel..is it the hood?....also do you have a frenulum where your minor labia attach to the clitoris? Some women with& a tiny clitoris don't have a frenulum melissa " Hello Melissa, Yes there is the hood, but there is no button beneath it, just the tunnel or shaft (i.e. mine shaft, but that can be confusing) going under the hood. As for the frenulum, the illustrations in the Altas of Human Anatomy look very similar with the labia minor meeting below the hood, but there is no button at the meeting point. | 2007-05-28 11:49:10 |
| 644 | 4207 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: " To stimulate your clitoris directly you may want to try inserting a lubricated cotton swab (Q-tip) under the hood. Lubricate it with a thick lubricant like petroleum jelly and be gently. This may also loosen the hood and any adhesions and trapped smegma. " I have tried this.& Didnt feel much, it is too ackward to make it a vialble method.& I dont see any smegma but then I keep myself pretty clean.& And then there is the shower massager...:) | 2007-05-28 11:51:55 |
| 644 | 4208 | Hi, You may want to do the cotton swab thing on a regular basis simply to stretch the hood out. You might get in the habit of doing at bed time, as your read a book for 15 minutes. You also might try watching a movie while you move the cotton swab slowly and gently about under your hood. Don't expect fireworks, just, "oh, that kind of feels nice." You may have to practice this several times to find something that is pleasurable. Just some ideas. Brad | 2007-05-28 15:05:34 |
| 644 | 4212 | Hi Nola, When you say button, do you mean glans? M P.S.-I guess your labia minora join at the top under the hood, but to each other and not& join to a button (which again I think you mean glans) | 2007-05-28 18:13:09 |
| 645 | 4210 | Hi, The images of celebrities in the media may not provide an appropriate role model for girls and women to following. This is especially true if they are conforming to the media's expectation, or their images have been altered to meet that ideal. I was thinking it might be nice to have a collection of images of women who weigh an appropriate amount, when they are wearing street cloths, that I can add to the website in the body image section. It would be nice to have a woman's image and be able to list her height, weight, and age. Would anyone like to submit a photo and provide their height, weight, and age? It is okay to blur your face if you don't want to be recognized. To know if you weigh an appropriate amount you can visit the website linked to below: [url=www.halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm] www.halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm Is this a good idea? Thanks, Brad | 2007-05-28 15:24:44 |
| 645 | 4214 | Well, my BMI hovers around 20. I'm saying that because I'm 5ft 4 and a half...I can never measure a round number in anything and as there is a difference between 5ft 4 and 5ft 5, I sort of have to work out what would be inbetween those. I've never been on a diet, I have a weakness for chocolate but do try to eat healthily most of the time and don't skip meals because I hate being hungry. I also& don't deny myself treats, lol. I do exercise regularly& by walking the dogs or training in martial arts etc...and prefer to walk shorter distances than go in the car unless it is chucking it down with rain.& I'm also a fast walker and tend to stomp along at a pace most other people have trouble keeping up with. I must add that in my teens up until early 20s, I was just under the recommended BMI range at about 18. I think this is common in teenagers and lots of women tend to natually fill out a little when they reach their 20s. I also see this same thing happen in other creatures like horses or dogs so I'm sure it happens naturally& with people also. I'll be happy to provide a pic of me wearing normal clothes for the page...I just have to get one first where you can actually see my figure. most of the pics I have don't show the whole me or I'm wearing something that totally hides what my body is like such as a big black cloak for my devil costume at work for& halloween, haha. I aint posting that, lol. | 2007-05-29 09:05:53 |
| 646 | 4211 | Ok, The following idea popped into my head during my recent vacation, which entailed scuba diving. In scuba diving and we have a saying that goes like this, "90% of divers admit to peeing in their wetsuits and the other 10% lies about it" When you are immersed in water for a length of time you have to pee more often so you either have short dives or pee in your wetsuit, unless you have a large bladder. It is a fact of life. Wetsuits allow water to pass through them. Now there are those who don't pee in their wetsuits, and they are more often than not women. Sometimes they will hold their urine so long they are in dire agony when trying to get to a bathroom at the end of a dive. To them it is better to experience pain than do what everyone else is doing. Now I admit wetting yourself is something that is less than lady like. I am not faulting these women, just making an observation. In addition, during sex some or many women experience a feeling that is similar to the urge to urinate. This prevents them from experiencing orgasm, because they fear they will urinate if they let go, surrender control.& If they can get beyond their fear of& urinating then they experience orgasm. This sensation is frequently associated with female ejaculation. Women who cannot experience orgasm sometimes hit a wall where they cannot surrender control, have an orgasm.& The sexual tension develops but& there is a barrier to orgasm. They may not experience the sensation of needing to urinate though. While only 2% of men have never experienced ejaculation, and presumably orgasm, 10% of women have not. Why the disparity? Why are women five times more likely to be unable to experience orgasm. I believe the cause is most likely environmental, that is, the result of their experiences and knowledge, rather than biological. Since the same area of the body is involved in orgasm and urination, is it possible that some women can only surrender control over their pelvic organs when they are urinating while sitting on a toilet, perhaps while alone and in a quite room? Have some women been toilet trained too well? Was there major negative consequences for wetting themselves, their cloths, or bedding? If permitted to without repercussions, if a woman can wet herself in public without hesitation is she more likely to be able to experience orgasm??? Is lack of control in this context beneficial to experiencing orgasm? If this idea holds true, then women who cannot experience orgasm may benefit from un-toilet training. That is, broadening the situations in which they can surrender control over their bladder and pelvic organs. If an adult woman can wear a diaper in public and urinate the moment the urge arises, is she more likely to experience orgasm? Would being able to do this help some women learn how to experience orgasm? Urinating in a public pool [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] while others are around may have the same affect, especially if you can do it while swiming or walking lapse. The easier you can let go the better. To know if this hypothesis is possibly true, we would need to know the percentage of women who are preorgasmic who cannot urinate in a public situation, or just let go, as peeing in your wetsuit requires. Part of this idea came about as a result of a comment a woman made during the trip. After a week of urinating as soon as the urge came about while diving, she was concerned she might lack the necessary control while back at work. Her comment was expressed as a joke. Just a crazy idea my wacky mind came up with. Brad | 2007-05-28 16:27:56 |
| 646 | 4257 | Mhm, interesting thought... Me, I can urinate in public, and& I admit I sometimes pee in a lake or sea, if I'm far from the shore. It's just water to water... And I have no problems reaching orgasm, during masturbation as well as during intercouse (it doesn't work every time, and it took my some time to learn, but I can not complain).& But is& this a consequence of my toilet training (which I can not remember) or of my medical education, which makes me see bodily function as the most natural thing and not the least abhorrent,& I wonder... | 2007-06-06 11:30:35 |
| 646 | 6299 | I think you are totally right about this!! I have had a theory about that for a while and have never seen anything about it.& I am a 28 yr old woman, I potty trained myself at the age of 18 months and never once had a urine accident, not even at night.& I started having sex at 16 and for 10 years I was completely unable to have orgasm or even get close.& The breakthrough came as a result of a reoccuring dream.& I would dream about urinating in various situations (almost never sexual) and I would wake up with orgasmic contractions.& I realized that to have an orgasm I would have to relax myself to the point that I might pee.& To avoid actually peeing I would make sure to put something (a dildo or similar) in my vagina to keep pressure in there.& It took a lot of concentration and time, but I got it figured out.& On the different side of it, I was always jealous of my sister who was able to easily orgasm during intercourse (she had a wetting problem for many years as a child).& Now I am happily married to a great guy who takes his time and encourages me to make a mess.& He is the only one to ever make me cum :D | 2008-12-19 15:56:53 |
| 646 | 6300 | I wrote an article that explores this idea in greater detail and published it earlier this year. It took me a year to get it done, and still have a little more work to do on it. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/anorgasmia.htm Brad | 2008-12-19 18:15:13 |
| 646 | 6301 | Sorry, but I think it's an unrealistic leap you're making.& Toilet training is merely a hygienic lesson taught to children.& As you point out, some 10% of women have never experienced orgasm.& However, we can assume that very nearly 100% of adult women are toilet trained, so the toilet training has little or no apparent effect on the other 90% of the female population.& Furthermore, that 10% can be comprised of any number of women.& That would ostensibly include virgins, women who don't masturbate, women with poor education about their own bodies, women in relationships with people with poor education about female sexuality, or any combination of these and other situations.& It also includes (and prominently, I would guess), as you mentioned, women who don't feel the urge to urinate when they approach orgasm. I can't imagine that many people wouldn't be hesitant about accidentally urinating on their partner during sex, even people who have no problem peeing in public.& Myself, I can pee just about anywhere.& Not only in water, but having spent a lot of time in the outdoors, I have little compunctions about urinating on a tree or in a bush (or even standing by a car on the side of the road), even with people nearby.& Yet a person is not a tree, and even though I would pee in front of a person, I would be very embarrassed to accidentally pee on someone.& I do think it's likely that a woman who can't pee in the water was probably toilet trained in a stricter fashion, but I also find it likely that a parent who would be excessively strict about toilet training would also be excessively strict about sexual behavior, because both activities deal with perceived propriety.& I think women that struggle with both actions were likely brought up to strictly adhere to traditional gender roles: in short, they are possibly both effects of a common cause, but not one effect and the other a cause. | 2008-12-20 03:13:40 |
| 648 | 4217 | I relaise historically that womem have not always worn knickers but it is said that in the present day many women go with out, Find this thought excites me. Is it so? and if so why do they do it? Has it a sexual motive. I would hope women will reply | 2007-05-30 04:18:24 |
| 648 | 4219 | I assume you mean not wearing panties?....I think that some women feel they can feel more free down there, but I think for others such as Britney and Paris, they do it for a sexual reason, and even flash... | 2007-05-30 20:42:18 |
| 648 | 4220 | I do hear that more and more women are going pantiless nowadays....it also is easier for intercourse as a surprise | 2007-05-30 20:44:35 |
| 648 | 4224 | I'm northern British and we tend to call a spade-a-spade. Therefore its 'knickers' much more erotic. Though I once heard a woman say she was offended because a Doctor said to her "take your knickers down girl" perhaps doctors should call them 'panties' | 2007-05-31 08:46:07 |
| 648 | 4269 | [user=130]melissa malena[/user] wrote: "I do hear that more and more women are going pantiless nowadays....it also is easier for intercourse as a surprise" Ah yes! and the "naughty-girl" feeling!& Usually if I go commando, I'll whisper in my boyfriends ear that I'm not wearing any undies.& That excites him in about 1 second. :) | 2007-06-14 16:08:22 |
| 648 | 4342 | Yes, I've gone without them. lol, I happen to hate bras more than panties, bras are likely the most uncomfortable thing ever. Can't go without em though, need the support for my back. lol, Every person is their own, lol, I'm sure just about every female has gone commando! | 2007-07-11 19:44:47 |
| 648 | 4365 | I go without them nearly all the time.& I get a rash from the elastic, which makes me have problems wearing bras as well. | 2007-07-12 03:08:54 |
| 648 | 4370 | If a bra feels uncomfortable to wear, it is because you are wearing the wrong size. Most women make the mistake of wearing a bra that is too big in the band and too small in the cup and then have their straps too short to offer the support where the strap should only offer about 20% of the support, the rest given by the band and cup but if the band is too big, it can't offer that support so the straps have to do it and often dig into the shoulders etc...along with other things. A band that rides up at the back is one that is too big for sure. Obviously, skin complaints due to the fabric are a different issue. I can't wear a lot of bras that have that nylon netting stuff in the cup cos I am allergic to that so have to stick with a certain plain type. Here is a link that might be useful. [url=www.figleaves.com/uk/fitting_room.asp?cat=161] www.figleaves.com/uk/fitting_room.asp?cat=161 | 2007-07-12 17:18:07 |
| 648 | 4371 | Yeah, ladies, you should all be properly fitted for a bra by someone that knows how to do it.& If you watch any of those make-over shows, one of the most common remarks is that the women never knew how comfortable a properly fitted bra could be.& I don't know about overseas, but in the states, I think Macy's stores typically have bra fitting experts. | 2007-07-12 17:23:25 |
| 648 | 4374 | [user=558]Jah[/user] wrote: "I go without them nearly all the time.& I get a rash from the elastic, which makes me have problems wearing bras as well." There are bras out, i can't think of the name, it's not a normal bra. It's more just a spandex bra, so to speak. It's only fabric based, but it also depends on your chest size to wear em. I wore them when I was 11 to 12, of course, I was a B then. A lot smaller. You could always try Vickies (Victoria Secret), they are very comfortable. Angels doesn't really have an elastic band, plus it gives a lot of support. Of course, I usually have to throw my bra's out after 6 months. They don't hold any more support anymore. | 2007-07-12 18:24:12 |
| 648 | 4375 | Ah, fitting is not always the answer mind. My mum has been fitted and then got a bra the size they said she was and she said it fitted really badly. In the site I provided a link to, it says that measuring can be quite inaccurate and says the best way to find the right size for you is to look at your existing bra for certain signs which means too big or small in band or cup or straps too short etc... Once you've taken these signs into account and done what it suggests where the signs exist, you will eventually find the bra size that fits you properly. I think I agree because having been measured myself in the way it says, my measurements say to wear a bra size that I know would not fit me in a million years. | 2007-07-12 18:25:10 |
| 648 | 4376 | I think it would be best, if you tried on different sizes yourself. Your the one who is going to wear the bra, and you can see it best in the fitting room how it should be fit. Majority of females go for a smaller band size, I know that much, but no guy will know your size number by looking. Wear what's comfortable and not based on being the smaller number in the band, and the bigger number in the cup. | 2007-07-12 18:29:24 |
| 648 | 4377 | bra fitters are women who know how the bra is designed and how it is supposed to fit on the body.& they will take measurements for you in the dressing room to get the right fit and help you pick the most comfortable size. | 2007-07-12 18:53:23 |
| 648 | 4378 | But, that doesn't mean it'll be the right fit. Bra fitters aren't always the best answer, then again near is females choosing their own bra size. So many take the wrong bra size. | 2007-07-12 19:32:39 |
| 648 | 4379 | If you check out the link I provided, and they are a fitters, they say that too big an underband size is the most common mistake that they see in women who go to them to be fitted. Many women think that the bigger the band size, the more busty..... I was making the same mistake but not because I thought it was more busty but because even the bigger band felt tight after it was riding up my back which I didn't realise& but when I loosened the straps so that it could go around parallel, I realised just how slack it was. The woman used as an example& of one of their clients& was wearing a 36 underband when, in fact, she was supposed to be a 32. She was also wearing a cup size too small which is another common mistake. The number of larger women I see with bulges hanging over the top of their bra cups is astonishing. So, the majority of women going for smaller band sizes isn't necessarily true. As I already mentioned, my mum was properly fitted at Marks and Spencers but the bra size they told her she was didn't fit and felt horrid on her. Quote from the fitters at the site: "Wearing too big a back band is the most common mistake that we see. Many people confuse the back measurement with breast size" | 2007-07-12 19:49:00 |
| 648 | 4380 | I think partly why being fitted doesn't always work is because all women have different shaped or positioned& breasts even if they are the same size. If you check out the photos of breasts in Brads site, you can see how different they are and, even if they are the same size, you can imagine how differently one given bra might fit one pair as opposed to another. | 2007-07-12 19:52:47 |
| 648 | 4381 | I haven't noticed it here. Here its smaller the band, you can see it when you look. lol. You can see a bulge on the side where it isn't supposed to have one. And, say you had an A cup and you were a 38. 38A, that's equivalent, i believe to a 36B. Or rather maybe that was the other way around, lol. I've always been one who wanted to go DOWN in cup sizes. | 2007-07-12 20:17:02 |
| 648 | 4382 | 38A is not the same as 36B, they are totally different and unique.& the number indicates the size of your ribcage and the letter indicates how much bigger your bust is than your ribcage. A 36B on a woman who needs a 38A will have a band that is too tight on her chest and cups that are too big for her breasts. | 2007-07-12 20:45:15 |
| 648 | 4383 | I disagree with you on that. You have hooks on a bra, and you can have two cup sizes. 36B is equivalent to 38A. You'd be in the last hook of 38A, but its the same bra size. | 2007-07-12 20:51:58 |
| 648 | 4384 | Hi, There is information that indicates wearing a bra could cause health problems and pain. [url=www.susunweed.com/An_Article_Bra-disease.htm] www.susunweed.com/An_Article_Bra-disease.htm [url=www.all-natural.com/fibrocys.html] www.all-natural.com/fibrocys.html If bras were so necessary then it seems likely they would have been invented more than a mere 100 years ago. You can't go by Hollywood to know what women actually wore, or didn't, in the past. If a woman was working in the field or nursing every couple of hours she wouldn't be wearing a corset, or the like, as we envision women of the past. The same could be said of form fitting garments that cover the vulva. Going "commando" was likely more the norm than people would like to admit. Brad | 2007-07-13 09:25:48 |
| 648 | 4385 | Yes, the cup size is different for every band size and represents how large your breasts are in comparison to your ribcage...not the general volume of them. For example, a C cup on a 32 bandsize would be an A cup on a 34 bandsize. I measured up at a 34A but I have a 34B and the cups are too small and the 34C, the cups are the right size...go figure. Maybe it's the band size I need to change because I'm half way between needing a 32 and a 34....Plus,& I find that every pack of bras you buy, even if they are the same style and size, some are still looser and others tighter...no firm seems to stick to the same measurements for each size....which is very frustrating. No wonder most women are wearing the wrong bra size. | 2007-07-13 09:38:07 |
| 648 | 4386 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Yes, the cup size is different for every band size and represents how large your breasts are in comparison to your ribcage...not the general volume of them. For example, a C cup on a 32 bandsize would be an A cup on a 34 bandsize. I measured up at a 34A but I have a 34B and the cups are too small and the 34C, the cups are the right size...go figure. Maybe it's the band size I need to change because I'm half way between needing a 32 and a 34....Plus, I find that every pack of bras you buy, even if they are the same style and size, some are still looser and others tighter...no firm seems to stick to the same measurements for each size....which is very frustrating. No wonder most women are wearing the wrong bra size. " Yes, most companies have a style to them. I won't wear certain ones, because then my cup size is even BIGGER. I prefer Vickies, it's also comfortable, so no hassle for me. I happen to be a 36DD which, for me, I have more issues with. I'm 5'6'' and 1/2 at 142 lbs, but every time I try to lose weight it ain't going off where i want it. lol. Bra wise, I had a huge issue with, but if i buy a bra now i just tend to go to Vickies. Every bra has an issue from a certain comfort level, to the straps, the cup, the back..fabric, etc. | 2007-07-13 11:03:24 |
| 648 | 4387 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, There is information that indicates wearing a bra could cause health problems and pain. [url=www.susunweed.com/An_Article_Bra-disease.htm] www.susunweed.com/An_Article_Bra-disease.htm [url=www.all-natural.com/fibrocys.html] www.all-natural.com/fibrocys.html If bras were so necessary then it seems likely they would have been invented more than a mere 100 years ago. You can't go by Hollywood to know what women actually wore, or didn't, in the past. If a woman was working in the field or nursing every couple of hours she wouldn't be wearing a corset, or the like, as we envision women of the past. The same could be said of form fitting garments that cover the vulva. Going "commando" was likely more the norm than people would like to admit. Brad " This discussion has come up before.& It's true that the modern design of the bra is only about 100 years old, but various girdles and corsets designed for support rather than vanity pre-existed the extreme corset designs of the victorian age as far back as the 1500s.& Also, women have been binding their breasts for support with cloth bands and other garments as far back as ancient greece. Yes, it's true that not every woman needs a bra.& Things like training bras are probably a result of capitalist exploitation rather than necessity, but to suggest that breast support garments are a modern concept is simply incorrect. The information you linked to also indicates that improperly wearing a bra, or wearing the wrong size bra, is really what causes the pain and health issues.& A bad fit means improper weight distribution and bands digging into the skin.& Women who have a properly fitted bra don't experience those things on a regular basis. | 2007-07-13 12:08:38 |
| 648 | 4388 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Yes, the cup size is different for every band size and represents how large your breasts are in comparison to your ribcage...not the general volume of them. For example, a C cup on a 32 bandsize would be an A cup on a 34 bandsize. " That's true in the sense that if the bust size remains the same, but the chest size increases by two inches, the proportion becomes a 34A from a 32C.& My point is that a 32C woman can't interchangeably wear a 34A.& It would technically fit around her bust, but the cups would be too small for her breasts and the band would be too large for her ribcage, and she would probably experience more discomfort than with the properly sized bra since most of the weight would be supported on her shoulders instead of her chest. | 2007-07-13 12:18:17 |
| 648 | 4389 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "[user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Yes, the cup size is different for every band size and represents how large your breasts are in comparison to your ribcage...not the general volume of them. For example, a C cup on a 32 bandsize would be an A cup on a 34 bandsize. " That's true in the sense that if the bust size remains the same, but the chest size increases by two inches, the proportion becomes a 34A from a 32C.& My point is that a 32C woman can't interchangeably wear a 34A.& It would technically fit around her bust, but the cups would be too small for her breasts and the band would be too large for her ribcage, and she would probably experience more discomfort than with the properly sized bra since most of the weight would be supported on her shoulders instead of her chest. " Yes, it is true that a person cannot go from an A and be a C. Remotely not possible, because of the difference in the size. It is also true, that over time, with females who wear a smaller band size because it digs into your body you have the chance of getting breast cancer. Wear a band size that's comfortable for you, it's not like a person can tell what band size you have. Technically the bigger the number, the wider the cup. The smaller the number, the smaller the cup. Which is why 36B and 34C are the same. | 2007-07-13 12:48:44 |
| 648 | 4390 | Ah, what I meant is that if a woman was wearing, say a 32C and the backband was a little tight and she needed the next band& size up but that the cup size was ok, if she was to go up to a 34, she'd need the A cup rather than a 34C as many women mistakenly believe so she'd be a 34A because an A cup on a 34 is the same size as a C cup on a 32. | 2007-07-13 15:57:57 |
| 648 | 4391 | No..A and C, what of letter B? lol. I think you mix the two up, you cannot be a 34A and be a 32C . You can, however, be a 34A and have it be a 32B. | 2007-07-13 16:18:43 |
| 648 | 4392 | C cup typically means a 2-3 inch difference between your bust and ribs, A is less than 1.& Depending on where you live, it may be offset a half inch or so, but a C is almost always 2 inches more relative to an A.& If your band goes up by two inches, that means the difference decreased by two inches, so the C becomes an A.& Likewise, a D would drop to a B. | 2007-07-13 18:18:00 |
| 648 | 4393 | My problem seems to be that I wear bras with too small a cup size and too big a band.& I had problems of back band riding up, shoulder straps digging in, centre front lifting away from the body, wire digging into the breast tissue at underarm and bulging over top of cup.& Unfortunately the local shops only sell up to a G cup (which is very rare they commonly only go up to DD).& The only way for me to buy a bra would be to buy one online, which I don't really want to do because I don't get to try it on first and it will probably end up costing a lot& more.& I live in Australia and the bras here seem awful.& I preferred trying on bras when I was in the USA. | 2007-07-13 19:29:14 |
| 648 | 4418 | I admit I am no expert of women's clothing, but it seems in almost all non-industrialized societies, existing in warm climates, women went topless. The bra was orginally designed to conceal the breasts in revealing outfits, not to support or shape them. Here are links to relivant information:& [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Undergarment]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Undergarment& [url=www.jenellerose.com/htmlpostings/history_of_the_bra.htm] www.jenellerose.com/htmlpostings/history_of_the_bra.htm& [url=www.wesleyanargus.com/article.php?article_id=4555] www.wesleyanargus.com/article.php?article_id=4555& [url=womenshistory.about.com/od/fashion/Fashions_What_Women_Wore.htm] womenshistory.about.com/od/fashion/Fashions_What_Women_Wore.htm I was just trying to point out that breast discomfort may be caused by wearing a bra regardless of fit. Brad | 2007-07-15 12:56:15 |
| 649 | 4218 | I was watching a show and they were talking about panty lines showing under a pantsuit and types of panties which don't give panty lines. Does anyone know which types of panties are good for this? Even if your panties are& white and your pantsuit beige, it still leaves a panty line.& Panty lines are also there with a dress. Do guys even mind panty lines? Melissa | 2007-05-30 20:39:57 |
| 649 | 4223 | Hi, Panty lines seem to be less common with the popularity of thongs, but still common. I guess they tell you what type of undies a gal is wearing. Thongs often leave a distinctive panty line, which I guess is what some women want. They want everyone to know they are wearing one. Not as obvious as the whale tale style, but still visible. I use to be amazed by the number of women walking around with wedgies, as usually one side of their panty had slipped between their cheeks. Looked uncomfortable to me. A friend had a pair of whisper thin panties laying on her floor. I don't know that they would show under anything. They were larger than thongs, like a Brazilian cut. I am curious to know what undies some gals are wearing under their ultra low cut pants, as there is no panty line or panties showing above the waist. Are they going commando or is there special undies for this. A few years back young woman at work was sitting with 3/4 her butt showing but no visible panties. :shock: I wonder if she felt a draft? I guess panty watching serves as a little visual amusement to liven your day. :P I just went and looked at Victoria's Secret website and they have ones like I mentioned above and others specifically designed for low visibility. I haven't checked out a Victoria's Secret catalog in too long it appears, thought I buy lingerie for the store. :? www.victoriassecret.com/ If you have no panty line they may assume you have no undies on. [img]images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] I don't know if you want to send that message, as guys may then assume you are very sexual. Kind of like going without a bra. Brad | 2007-05-30 23:07:53 |
| 649 | 4226 | I see more women with pantylines now because we are just getting sick and tired of wearing thongs because they aren't the most comfortable garment around and women are finally deciding that comfort comes first. I was reading in the paper a while back that, in the UK at least, thong and G strings& sales& have plummeted and women are going for the normal& briefs and granny pants instead, lol. Not only that but the visible thongs peeping from above low cut jeans etc...because a massive fashion crime over here and was being ridiculed and women decided they wanted to avoid it. Now the visible bra strap is suffering the same fate with most men saying they think it looks tacky according to the poll in the paper. It's hard to avoid though with the spaghetti straps you get on most summer tops and such unless you go braless and then guys, and& other women,& will all stare and comment about the loose boobs jiggling around under your summer top instead. Can't win either way. Under certain clothes like jeans,& VPLs don't really show anyway. If I'm wearing trousers that are thin when I go out on an evening, then& I might wear a thong but, otherwise, I stick to normal briefs. Some of my jeans and trousers are reasobaly low cut but I don't have any of those ridiculously low cut things that come as far down for for everyone to see your pubic mound and where you've shaved your pubic hair because, no matter how smooth the shave, the skin usually still looks& slightly different to the surrounding skin where the pubic hair doesn't grow. I think wearing stuff that low cut is just sending out the wrong messages really and doesn't even flatter the figure because the top of the jeans/trousers is on the wrong part of the hip and so ruins that curved hips& effect in my opinion. | 2007-05-31 10:50:32 |
| 649 | 4227 | Hi, I don't like visible bra straps either. Their back looks like a road map. Okay, I can see that you are wearing a bra, so isn't a few hundred million other women. :? I thought that fashion statement was popular in the 80s, but many women seem to think it is still the thing to do. It just doesn't look good. Haven't women seen other women dressed like this? We have already discussed the issue of it being okay to stare at a woman's breasts if she is wearing a bra, but not if she isn't. Guys and gals are going to look regardless of what you were. Women feel cofortable wearing the mega push bra that doubles the apparent size of their breasts, but not with going without a bra. I think women are just more self conscious without a bra and dread the "S" word, which women are more likely& to use than men I believe. I think women don't want to go without a bra because they wont be able to use a bra to modify the shape and size of their breasts. No more false advertsing. :shock: Brad | 2007-05-31 20:07:22 |
| 649 | 4228 | In some cases, yes, but not generally. It isn't what makes me feel more self conscious& without a& bra, especially as I rarely wear bras that really alter the shape or size& of my boobs to start with. As most women wear bras anyway under T-shirts and summer tops, people, including guys, often don't really bother looking that much& anymore because they are everywhere.....unless they see& a woman with unusually large ones and then they tend to look more.& When a woman comes along braless and her boobs are wobbling about as she walks and with visible nipples poking out and all, then they stare and comment on the fact that she isn't wearing a bra. Yes, I'm not just talking about guys either, I'm talking about anyone. There is still this thing about women going without bras and I have seen how people react to it first hand. If all women went without bras and didn't wear them, I'm sure this wouldn't happen but as most wear bras when out and about, a braless woman would be classed as a novelty and something out of the ordinary....thats what makes people look and comment all the more. Btw, I've never worn anything that shows my bra straps. I always felt a desire to keep them covered for some reason. Thats why I could never wear the spaghetti strap type tops and the likes. I have seen plenty of other women with visible bra straps mind. Whether this trend will go out of fashion now that the papers and such are picking on it like the visible thong remains to be seen. There will always be the odd few who still do it even if it does go out. Saying that, in a lot of cases, it's not because they wanted the strap to show specifically, it's because they like the top that means it is inevitable that the bra strap shows but they don't want to go without a bra for whatever reason. Thats the problem with spaghetti straps. They don't cover the bra strap up. Many women try to get around it by wearing fancy bra straps, see through ones or strapless bras etc....which proves it isn't all about advertising wearing a bra. As for push up bras,& I don't wear those very often at all, lol. I'm not even one for wanting to display my cleavage to advertise that& I actually have boobs because I hate people staring at it. I can't even wear fancy lacey type bras because I am allergic to them. I can only wear those plain cross your heart seamless things with no underwires. I'll not be very exciting when it comes to undressing for a guy will I? Edit: I just asked a young woman, 20 yrs old,& who admitted to often having her bra straps showing. I asked her if she deliberately wears strappy tops just so that the straps will show and she said no, she tries to match the colours so you don't notice as much. When I told her I was asking because I was in a discussion with a guy who thinks women do it just to advertise their bras, she replied with something I'll not repeat in here, haha. I also asked her opinion about going braless. I asked her if she'd feel uncomfortable walking down the street braless in a thin strappy top. She said "God yes", admitting to a whole load of reasons for it. She mentioned the word wobble, admitted that she doesn't like the shape or size of them without, also said about nipples sticking out and said she feels physically more comfortable in a bra to stop them wobbling about and says she also thinks other people look better in one as well. I asked her if all other women stopped wearing one, would that make her feel more easy about going without and she said no. Her opinion, not mine which doesn't match hers in all areas anyway. Her opinion could change as she gets older....I know mine has. & | 2007-06-01 06:20:11 |
| 649 | 4229 | Hi, I am sure she didn't like my comment, but it seems that while women spend tons of money on clothing many have terrible fashion sense. Yes, guys have it easier, through on pants and a shirt and we are done. Men's fashions don't change much. Brad | 2007-06-01 09:01:07 |
| 649 | 4230 | Well, her comment just sort of reflected that she certainly doesn't wear strappy tops just to show off her bra strap as I suspected applies to most women who allow their bra straps to show. It's a pity so many tops are like this meant for warmer weather. I often have a hard time finding things that actually cover the bra strap up without it being the type of thing you'd boil up in during hot weather. Plenty of times, I've had to say no to nice looking tops just because they were ruined with that tiny straps meaning your bra strap has to show gah!!! I agree that guys do have it a bit more simple lol. | 2007-06-01 10:18:17 |
| 649 | 4236 | Women are their own worst enemy when it comes to cloths. There are social pressures, but... We had a cold winter and I told friends that you could tell how cold it was by the fact that none of the coeds at school were wearing mini skirts. As soon as the temp got up around freezing they started to show up again. As one female friend said, in response to my comment about some& girl wearing& a short skirt on a cold day, "When you are hot to trot you are never cold." When the temperatures really warmed up this spring the girl's cloths started coming off in a blink of an eye. It is like some girls can't wait to get naked. :shock: Micro mini skirts, low cut tops, push up bras, and small tops popped up over night. The guys sure aren't going to complain. Since many girls are wearing less than the boys, it isn't a matter of staying cool. It is trying to get attention and out do their peers. Why do some women wear a tiny top but a body armor bra? When I was stationed out in the desert I was amazed by how small the blouses got, but they still wore huge bras. If your wadded up bra takes up more space takes up more space than your breasts... It is almost like some women believe if they wear a huge bra people will believe their breasts are larger than they are. I don't mean to pick on women with small breasts, but there is only on person you are fooling. I think part of the problem is women get dressed in the wrong order. Get naked, pick out and put on your outer cloths, now pick out your under cloths. Pick out the appropriate undergarments. An accidental glimpse of a undergarments is great, wearing them on the outside isn't; my opinion, as most are designed to be hidden. Color coordinating your undergarments doesn't conceal them, only makes them match everything else. The clear bra straps that have come out in the past couple of years, um, they show up almost as much as a regular bras strap, if not more, because they are so shiny. What is up with wearing two to three bras at once??? Many tops come with built in bras so you don't have to wear one, yet I see many women wearing one anyway. I could see it if they had DDs, but most don't. I have even see some women wearing the equivalent of three bras. Perhaps some women don't care what they look like so don't care what shows . My 2 cents worth. Brad | 2007-06-02 08:48:59 |
| 649 | 4239 | My assumption is that with the advent of fashionable lingerie, a lot of women don't wear underwear merely for utility (and shape modification is utility).& Most women aren't going to be showing their underwear to everyone, of course, but knowing she has sexy undies on can make a woman feel sexy all by itself, whether or not the underwear is visible.& If a woman is in a relationship she might be wearing that lingerie for an encounter later in the day as well. | 2007-06-02 12:36:26 |
| 649 | 4241 | Hmm, I've never worn more than one bra at once, lol. I can't say it is something I've noticed most other women do either. I bet that would be a bit uncomfortable really. I don't wear huge bras either. Mine are just plain things, lol. They don't make my boobs look bigger because they are neither push up or padded and not under-wired, they aren't all lacy and sexy etc...I don't allow the straps to show.... I can't wear others because I am allergic to that net type stuff they use in them. & | 2007-06-02 16:46:06 |
| 649 | 4256 | While& I was reading this discussion, I though about bras and boobs....Me, I have a C-D cup, and I hardly ever go without a bra (only at home; or in a ballroom dress or a sports top with biult in bra). Why? I think I would feel naked without or I would be afraid that people stare at me. But I don't know for sure because I never tried. I put on a bra every morning automatically...It's strange, most of us women rather go without panties that without bra. I'm lucky, I like the size of my breasts - just a little more that average - so I never wear push up or padded bras. Most women I know wear padded bras, even if they have quite large boobs. At some shops you can't get anything else! I really don't understand that, I never liked them,& they make the breasts look artificial and uniform, And it feels uncomfortable too, like a foreign body. How do men think about them? Isn't it annoying if you can't feel a thing? As to the bra straps showing - I'm no fussy about it, but I try to hide them. But& I do& wear strap tops in summer, but with a bra without straps, if they would& poke out& too much. What I hate is women wearing tiny tops or dresses with holderneck straps, and huge, padded bras in different colors, even if they have small breasts. It's not sexy, it's distasteful, and it reminds me of this joke: If you didn't have feet, would you wear shoes... | 2007-06-06 11:09:01 |
| 650 | 4231 | A little background information: I am 19 years old, in college, and in my first relationship with a& guy that I adore and love. I met him last semester in my first semester of college. We were friends for five months before we started dating and have been dating since January 14th.& I wasn't sexually active ever before until January when we had sex for the first time. It was painful and I wondered why anyone would want to do it twice, but then I found the-clitoris.com and have become a very sexually open woman. I enjoy it immensely and he's really happy because he wasn't a virgin and already knew that he enjoyed it and found it an important aspect of a relationship. We are very close. We live together and& I consider him one of my bestfriends. I feel like I have known him for more than 9-10 months. I love his family, he loves mine, but we're in no rush to get married or anything. We're just enjoying each other and seeing where it takes us, but we'd like to be together for a long time. In the beginning, I didn't care about his porn, if he wanted to masturbate alone, etc. But in the last month or two it's started to bother me. Sometimes I'll want to masturbate and so will he, but instead of mutual masturbation he wants to be alone so he can watch porn. When I talked to him about it he said that he likes to do it alone sometimes because when he's with me he's worried about my pleasure but when he's alone he can focus only on himself. I told him that's fine, I want to please him and he won't have to worry about me but he said no, it feels awkward for it to be all about him. I have been unfair to him in some ways because I tease him about his porn and I realize that it's not fair at all and that I need to stop. He perfers lesbian porn, occasionally with black girls, (no, I'm not racist at all, please don't take it that way) and it makes me feel insecure. I told him that I feel threatened by his porn, that I'm afraid he's going to get bored with me and want something more exotic and he keeps reassuring me that it's not like that. In fact, he's& worried that I will eventually get bored with him eventually since he's my first and I will want to explore. Truth is, there is nothing more I want right now than him and the thought of having sex with someone else someday just seems impossible to me. I guess what I am trying to get at is that sometimes I feel like he chooses porn over me and it hurts. I try so hard to not get upset or hurt by it, but it's been like that lately and I can't for the life of me figure out how to get over myself. He tells me "You like to masturbate" and I just tell him that I would have a lot more fun masturbating with him rather than alone. I'm wondering if it's normal for me to feel this way or if I am being selfish. I will never be able to explain& our relationship dynamics in words. We just click so well and we haven't had an arguement ever. We've had disagreances but we've never resorted to personal attacks, yelling, etc so it's not like our relationship is rocky. And I'm not worried that he's going to cheat on me, so I'm not sure where my insecurity is coming from when it comes to his porn.& In fact, porn is something I'd like to toy with WITH him. I wouldn't mind watching porn with him and I've suggested it, I just don't get turned on by lesbian porn. In fact, I rented some porn but it wasn't the type I was looking for. It was more degrading towards women and I'd like something that is for BOTH sexes. He even said he would order some offline for me if I found something that I wanted. So if anyone has any suggestions for porn that could be healthy for a couple I'm very much interested. I thought I read some suggestions on the-clitoris.com but I can't find it now. | 2007-06-01 19:03:39 |
| 650 | 4232 | Even in a relationship, it is always good to masturbate by yourself sometimes.& It's not just that it is something where you can be selfish about your own pleasure, but its a way of maintaining your independence.& Early in a relationship people always want to spend every waking minute together, but in a serious relationship that goes on for some long period of time, it's not healthy to lose your identity and independence to the relationship. He isn't choosing porn over you, he is just spending time with himself as an individual.& It's the same as when a guy "goes out with the boys" or whatever and the wife/girlfriend gets upset.& It's not that you're not wanted or loved, it's just that he doesn't want to include anyone at the time.& You should also take personal time for yourself without trying to include him every time.& You should even try porn that turns you on if you are interested, and just watch it for your own reasons.& You can also incorporate porn into your sex routine if you like, but make sure to maintain your own identity. | 2007-06-02 00:10:07 |
| 650 | 4233 | Thank you, that's basically what I needed to hear. I know it's true, but some immature side of my self was still being irrational about it. Thank you for being honest and comparing it to a night out with the boys- because that I wouldn't ever get mad about because I totally understand it (night out with the girls! lol). It makes a lot of sense that way. I am trying not to be controlling and stay very open& because I think that's really important so& it was kind of a shocker when I started feeling different about him going solo. But what you said makes perfect sense and I will just have to remind myself of it each time. Thanks again! | 2007-06-02 02:06:35 |
| 650 | 4234 | I will throw in one caveat that if your sex life starts to actually suffer because he is constantly looking at porn (either he noticably loses interest in you or starts comparing everything you do in bed to porn), then that is becoming a problem.& But as long as his interest in porn is in addition to his interest in you, then what I said above applies. | 2007-06-02 02:43:46 |
| 650 | 4235 | Hi, It is a problem if he prefers to masturbate alone or watch porn rather than engage in sex with you. If he is off alone perhaps it is time for you to masturbate too, perhaps while imagining what he is doing; if you are in the mood. If he focuses on your pleasure, and actually fulfills your needs during partnered sex, then feel lucky. Just as girls are under pressure to have an orgasm, men are under pressure to cause them, and not ejaculate too soon. So yes, he may want some carefree sex at times. If you are open to the idea, you might give him permission to just "f**k me", without giving any concern for your needs or whether you experience orgasm. You could also tie him down and have your way with him so he can't do anything about your needs. Take turns, one night is for you, then next him. Videos allow you to see what he likes, whereas if he relied on fantasy you wouldn't know. If you could fine videos you both like that may add a little spice to your sex life. I mentioned some mainstream videos in another post, linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=615&forum_id=7 Placing too much emphasis on orgasm will kill any sexual relationship. Brad | 2007-06-02 08:25:08 |
| 650 | 4238 | Our sex life is great. I don't have any complaints really, except that we focus on ME so much. I've told him before that we should have nights where we focus on him rather than just me, but he's got in driven into him from somewhere that it's& more important for me to be pleased. Pleasing me pleases him, but he doesn't realize that pleasing him pleases me too. Last night I made it about him for more than half the time. I performed oral on him and played with him for quite awhile (he didn't return the favor as I am on my period, but that's fine with me) and then he focused on playing with me for a few minutes until I came. I feel& like that may be one step in the right direction as far as pleasing him as much as he pleases me. He really really enjoyed it.& heh. At this point he isn't choosing porn over me. If I say that I want to get frisky with him, he takes me up on it, I just think I need to back off a little bit and maybe let him have a little more alone time. I guess it does make sense to need it every now and then. I am feeling a lot better about the whole situation so we'll see how it goes from here. Thank you everyone! | 2007-06-02 11:47:13 |
| 650 | 4268 | I just thought I should write on here since I'm about the same age, almost 21, and I'm with my first and last boyfriend, and we both lost our virginities together. I can't say that my boyfriend watches porn, but we do have our own times.& It's healthy in the relationship to masturbate together, or have each other masturbate for the other.& I find it so sexy to watch my boyfriend masturbate for me.& Sometimes I can't help but come into action. At the beginning of our sexual relationship, he was all about me.& Wanting to please me all the time, which isn't entirely possible due to being a woman and having a period.& Usually when I have my period it's focus on him time.& He used to feel horrible about the idea, and I tell him that I just get aroused just from doing things to him and that it's fine for me to not have the attention for once.& It may seem like it's engraved in him that you must have the pleasure at all time, but talk to him about it.& Communication is so important. Let him know that you'd love to watch him masturbate. Or if you just want to focus on him for a night, get some love ties and tie him to the bed and just seduce him and kiss him everywhere, tell him that it's focus on him night.& As for alone time.& Take advantage of it! :)& No other person can please you as well as yourself. You are the one that knows how touch yourself the way you like it, rather than telling your love how to, or move this way or that way. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. | 2007-06-14 16:00:50 |
| 652 | 4244 | I received this question: "This is something that has been puzzling me for a long time now ever since I started masturbating at age 19 (I'm in my late twenties now). I would like for you to confirm my suspicion: on various occasions, after I orgasm with my fingers inside my vagina, I would pull my fingers out and see a film of blood. 2 to 5 days later, my period starts even though I know I'm not due for a least another week! Can an orgasm that powerful trigger the menstrual cycle earlier than usual? " | 2007-06-04 11:29:10 |
| 652 | 4262 | Not always, but I have had it where I was due for my period and I would masturbate, end in a really intense orgasm and the next few days feel crampy then I'd get my period.& In some ways yes? If you have such an intense orgasm, I guess it could bring on the flow? | 2007-06-10 09:21:51 |
| 652 | 4263 | I've had experiences very similar to Ladybug's. | 2007-06-10 11:26:37 |
| 652 | 4265 | Same here but I tend to be horniest during and just after my period and can experience a horniness overload during that time where I am constantly wanting to be at it& so more likely to experience orgasm then but do orgasm before period starts as well if I get the urge to do a spot of& DIY at that time. | 2007-06-10 14:44:18 |
| 653 | 4246 | [url=www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/04/theporn.effect.ap/index.html] www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/04/theporn.effect.ap/index.html EDIT: For those not interested in following the link, here is the article below CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- Porn used to be relegated to a video hidden in the bottom drawer, or a magazine under the mattress. Today, it's part of everyday life. Hugh Hefner's girlfriends have become TV's "girls next door." Porn stars have MySpace pages and do voiceovers for video games. And while "porn on demand" is standard for hotel TVs and upgraded cable packages, it's even easier to find it with a few clicks on the computer. In April, more than a third of the U.S. Internet audience visited sites that fit into the online "adult" category, according to comScore Media Metrix. So the message is clear: In today's world, sex doesn't just sell. The pervasiveness of porn has made sexiness -- from subtle to raunchy -- a much-sought-after attribute online, at school and even at work. Many agree that the trend has had a particularly strong influence on young women -- in some cases, taking shape as an unapologetic embracing of sexuality and exhibitionism. "I am one of those girls," says Holly Eglinton, a 31-year-old Canadian who recently won a talent search competition to appear as an unclothed newscaster on the Internet's "Naked News." She auditioned after meeting a producer for the show on a social networking site where she's posted provocative photos of herself -- an increasingly common practice. For Eglinton, taking off her clothes for an Internet audience was freeing, fun and a little rebellious. "It's something that sort of suits my personality," she says. "I'm kind of an extrovert and a bit of a camera hog, a poser." It's a prevalent sentiment in our look-at-me culture. But many wonder if it really is empowering, especially for younger women and girls who try to emulate what's already on the Web. Too often, educators and health professionals say, the results are cases of "Girls Gone Wild" -- gone wild. Michael Simon, a therapist and high school counselor in the San Francisco Bay area, has seen an increasing number of girls and young women in his private practice after episodes in which they undressed or masturbated in front of a Web cam for people they met online. "Instead of pornography or performative sexuality being one choice among many ways of being sexual, it's essentially become the standard of sexiness," says Simon. "It's also the standard by which a man or woman is a prude, depending on how much they embrace that kind of sexuality." Yvonne K. Fulbright, a sexologist and author who co-hosts the "Sex Files" program on Sirius satellite radio, also has seen the shift in attitude. She's posted messages on Craigslist looking for people who want to comment on various topics for the show -- and, instead, often receives responses from young women who send descriptions of their breast and waist sizes. "They're under the impression that they can be the next big thing," Fulbright says. "Unfortunately, for a lot of females that means taking off your clothes and being sexual. "It's a really warped sense of what it means to be sexy." Indeed, there was a time when dancing for the masses in barely there outfits was the realm of music video stars and strippers. Then the Internet and reality TV came along, providing new platforms for young women to flaunt it for a shot at fame. In one hit prime-time series, for instance, eager young contestants perform soft-core porn dance routines in hopes of becoming the next member of The Pussycat Dolls singing group. The fascination with being "hot" also has made its way into the workplace, where confidence is often conveyed in the way one looks and dresses. "I would say that, in the world of Washington, D.C., power brokers, it's important to be sexy, but in a more sophisticated, muted way," says Charles Small, a 25-year-old young professional who works in the nation's capital. That's in contrast, he says, to cities such as Los Angeles and Miami, "where overt sexiness is more the status quo." Some employers -- taken aback by the trend -- have responded by setting tougher dress codes. Many school administrators have done the same. "As a high school teacher, I see 14-year-old girls dressing in a way that makes me shake my head. Where do they get that?" asks Dennis Brown, an educator and parent in Huntley, Illinois, outside Chicago. Recently, he says his own 5-year-old daughter proclaimed, "Daddy, I look fat." "And I thought, 'Oh my gosh, here we go,' " he says. "Now I have to start deconstructing that mind-set." [url=www.cnn.com/interactive_legal.html#AP]Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. | 2007-06-04 19:01:04 |
| 655 | 4250 | Any straight ladies ever masturbate with female friends?& what are your experiences? I have been reading stories about this lately and it makes me hot. :P | 2007-06-05 17:21:20 |
| 655 | 6564 | I'll say this. For you to get together for a private evening with 1-3 girlfriends, where you would drop your panties, do some show and tell, joke and fantasize, then lie back and masturbate sounds a lot "safer" then much of what passes for sex nowadays. Also very 1970s feminist. Betty Dodson used to coach people who wanted what I've just described. Looking at and talking about another woman' pink bits wont make you gay. | 2009-04-06 01:14:39 |
| 656 | 4254 | Hi, While we know very little about the G-Spot, the female prostate, and female ejaculation, a doctor in California, of course, has come up with a technique to enhance female sexual pleasure. Seems doctors can do just anything they want to these days. www.thegshot.com Brad | 2007-06-06 09:45:54 |
| 656 | 4258 | I see now that the procedure has been around for at least 3 years. www.villagevoice.com/people/0416,taormino,52770,24.html Brad | 2007-06-06 19:47:54 |
| 656 | 4292 | Hi, I contacted Deborah Sundahl, who wrote a book and produced three videos about female ejaculation, about this procedure and she released a statement. You can read it at the following link. isismedia.org/collagen_free_gspot_statement.html She also produced a "rant." isismedia.org/collagen_free_gspot.html Brad | 2007-06-20 10:20:32 |
| 658 | 4270 | Hi, I need& a place to talk about my sex life and I think this would be a great place. First a little background info. I'm 18 and a virgin, the most I've ever done is let a boy kiss me. There's a few reasons for that...most importantly is that I spent my high school years studying hard and hanging out with my friends. Boys and flirting were never one of my highest priorites. I have, however, masturbated since I was 12. I'm pretty good at it now and do it probably once every 3 days. I find it very special and sacred to me, and my orgasms are extremely strong. Since I've waited this long to have sex and have turned down many boys who've wanted to for some reason or the other, I kinda figured I'd be one of those 20 something year old virgins. I didn't think the right partner was around the corner. Monday I met a 32 year old man who made it very clear that he wanted to have sex with me as soon as we talked. He began to charm me and tell me about all the things he's going to do to my body. My first impression was that he was a some kind of pervert to be avoided. That was just my first impression. This man, who I've known less than a week, and who I don't even consider physically attractive, has made me so horny I can barely contain myself. I felt my panties getting wet as I was talking to him today. I had to hold myself back from grabbing his penis as we talked. Part of me is thinking, what's wrong with you? He's a man that just wants sex from you, you know nothing about him, he could be a serial killer. I've turned down boys I've loved, how could I go crazy on this weird dude I just met.& Then the other part of me just wants to go home with him, lose my virginity, do everything sexually I've ever dreamed of. I don't know if it's a moral conflict as much as it is a "common sense" conflict. He's the man my father always warned me about and I want him more than anything. I feel so weird. I'm considering giving my virginity to a man I've known 5 days. Any advice? | 2007-06-14 21:40:20 |
| 658 | 4271 | I'll give you the same advice that I have given to others in two parts; a question and a warning. Firstly, ask yourself what you really want from sex, and I don't mean just from this guy.& I mean ask yourself why you want to have sex.& Is it for your own physical pleasure?& Is it for emotional intimacy?& To please someone else?& If you mostly want the physicality, then you don't need to be very reserved or selective.& If you want emotions to be involved, this guy isn't for you, obviously.& The kind of 32 year old that would readily have sex with a teenager is typically the person who shouldn't be doing it.& Not that good matches don't sometimes span large numbers of years, but this guy has made it clear that his intentions are pretty selfish.& So ask yourself what you want and decide from there. The warning is to think about the long term effects.& For women, losing their virginity can be scary or even painful.& For a lot of women (but not all), a bad first experience can strongly affect the way they experience sex in the future.& Whether or not you go with this guy or wait for someone you feel closer to, make sure the person understands that you're a virgin and is going to take the time to be patient and understanding with any problems you might have.& Even if you don't want romance and love when you lose your virginity, you should still expect respect. | 2007-06-14 23:43:56 |
| 658 | 4272 | I basically agree with dfs3, although I'd like to add another point: Even if it's just the physical side you want, sex is a huge gift to any other person. This should be appreciated by your partner - in your case I have some doubts. Also, intercourse is something involving (at least:)) two people. Please ask yourself if you really expect to recieve the same kind of gift you are ready to give from a person that only talks "about all the things he's going to do to my body". If he was really interested in you (and he should be, even if this is not going to be the start of a lasting relationship), should he not be talking about what you might like and expect so both of you will have a pleasurable experience? It may be exciting to think about finally doing it, but is this the kind of person that would stop "doing things" to you if you are nude in his bed and suddenly get frightened? Just a final thought: There were several times in my life when I said "Yes" and afterwards had to admit this was not one of my better ideas, but I never regretted saying "No". | 2007-06-15 04:50:30 |
| 658 | 4273 | Hi Lynna, Welcome to this forum, and I'm glad you feel that you can come here and talk. :) I was in about the same boat as you. Once I went to college things switched up a little.& I became a little bit more, experimental.& I hadn't done anything with a guy until I was at school, without my parents.& I felt guilty after doing things with this guy that I knew a relationship wasn't going to sprout.& He always told me he wanted to have sex with me, but I'm glad I hadn't.& I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend a little more than a year ago and I don't regret it.& I'm still happily with him and our sex life is growing. I agree with what Dfs had said.& I thought that I could want to have sex with just anybody and not really care about it until I was in the situation myself and really thought hard about it.& I personally didn't want my first time with someone who only just wanted to have sex with me.& I wanted to be intimate with the person first, I wanted to know I could trust the person also. Just to add, you may feel that you want to have sex with this man because 1. he's the guy your dad warned you about, and 2. because he gets you wet like no other. Just really think, do you want your first time with someone that you only know so little about? How did you meet this guy anyway? | 2007-06-15 06:32:57 |
| 658 | 4274 | Hi, Why is a 32 year old guy chasing after an 18 year old? You might be a hot little number, but you both are at two totally different points in your lives. How do you know he will be good in bed, and just isn't a slam bam thank you mam type? Does he actually know how to make love to a virgin? He may be a player. Just because you have great sex doesn't mean he will call you later, as a friend recently found out. He may see you as a easy conquest. If you like a guy and want more than sex, then don't have sex. If you haven't done anything before, don't try to do it all at once. You may want to read what I have wrote about virginity and sexual development. & [url=../f_html/virgin1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm Brad | 2007-06-15 08:40:37 |
| 658 | 4275 | Thanks for the replies everyone, I'm glad nobody thought I was too weird. Dfs3, I am not sure what I want from sex at all. I had never asked myself that before and now I realize I should. As far as your warning, I do understand that too. That's why I'm so scared. kr103, I've thought a lot about that too. He talks about doing things to me and seeing if I'd like it...but my first thought when I saw him was "he's some kind of rapist." I know that's silly, I know you can't tell that by looking at a person...but I haven't been alone with him for the fear that he is one. I thought this was how most virgins feel. lol Wow I just realized how dumb that sounded. Ladybug, I do want to know more about him. It's just everytime our conversations turn to our personal lives, they quickly turn back to sex. It's just as much as my fault as it his him. We met at the mall, he stopped me as I was walking. I think I'm letting my attraction cloud my clear judgement. But is what I'm doing "wrong"? I know I gotta be the person to answer that and I have no idea. I was talking to my best friend of 11 years about what I've been going through. Well, here's a little more background info about me. My mom died when I was 12 and my dad's currently in the hospital for lung cancer. I met this dude the night after I put my dad in the hospital. My best friend just thinks that I feel vulnerable and alone and that's what I'm considering doing something so fast. But I still say it's all physical to me and not emotional. | 2007-06-15 09:01:24 |
| 658 | 4276 | "Dfs3, I am not sure what I want from sex at all. I had never asked myself that before and now I realize I should. As far as your warning, I do understand that too. That's why I'm so scared. " Well, fear means you're concerned, which means you'll at least try to make the right decision.& That's better than throwing caution to the wind like a lot of people do.& The worst thing that can happen by cautioning yourself is not doing something you might have regretted. "kr103, I've thought a lot about that too. He talks about doing things to me and seeing if I'd like it...but my first thought when I saw him was "he's some kind of rapist." I know that's silly, I know you can't tell that by looking at a person...but I haven't been alone with him for the fear that he is one. I thought this was how most virgins feel. lol Wow I just realized how dumb that sounded." If he ever sets "alarms" off for you, don't hesitate to walk away.& In terms of simple phycsical lovemaking ability, there are tons of guys out there who are at least as good as this guy claims to be.& People who pine over the "one who got away" aren't regretting passing up physical pleasure, after all. "Ladybug, I do want to know more about him. It's just everytime our conversations turn to our personal lives, they quickly turn back to sex. It's just as much as my fault as it his him. We met at the mall, he stopped me as I was walking." The more you say about the guy, the shadier he seems.& Sounds like the guy has something to hide.& Have you thought of checking the sex offender lists for his name? "I think I'm letting my attraction cloud my clear judgement. But is what I'm doing "wrong"? I know I gotta be the person to answer that and I have no idea." What part do you think is wrong?& Wanting sex for the sake of sex?& To some people, yes, they would say so.& I think most people at this forum will tend towards saving sex for some kind of a relationship, but I don't think anyone here would call superficial sex "wrong", but rather "risky". " I was talking to my best friend of 11 years about what I've been going through. Well, here's a little more background info about me. My mom died when I was 12 and my dad's currently in the hospital for lung cancer. I met this dude the night after I put my dad in the hospital. My best friend just thinks that I feel vulnerable and alone and that's what I'm considering doing something so fast. But I still say it's all physical to me and not emotional." Your friend could be right.& It might seem physical, but a lot of people, when faced with big mortality crises, can panic about life being too short and start regretting missed opportunities, even if its only on a subconscious level.& | 2007-06-15 13:17:31 |
| 658 | 4277 | Not only that but emotional strains do have physical manifestations which may be exactly what is causing yours. It can also seem totally disconnected from your emotions but, again, this is your body's clever way of coping with situations or simply getting confused& but these things& are not always helpful to you which is why you should think carefully before acting upon your current physical urges. If you really looked into it, you'd probably find that your current physical urges do have a lot to do with your emotional strains at the moment. From reading your posts, I really wouldn't have sex with this guy. Stopping you in a mall? Talk about strange. A guy in his 30s stopping a teenage girl in a mall and immediately making it obvious he wants to have sex with her? Way too dodgy for me. No wonder you're feeling concerned yourself, I'd get well away from him. | 2007-06-15 15:57:50 |
| 658 | 4279 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: " If he ever sets "alarms" off for you, don't hesitate to walk away.& " I havent been on here more than thirty minutes an I came accross this posting and read, reread and then read it again. For God's sake if this man sets off any bad vibes, alarms in your head, uneasy feelings, anything like that, GET AWAY, AND STAY AWAY.& your body knows more than we give it credit for.& my last boyfriend creeped me out when we first me but I ignored it. after an abusive relationship and being raped multiple times I came to the conclution, listen to your gut instinct, its there for a reason | 2007-06-15 19:04:33 |
| 658 | 4282 | Thanks for the replies everyone. Each one has made me think about my situation. Today me and this man went on a date in a coffee shop. We sat in a corner and kissed, he caressed my nipple through my shirt and my vagina through my pants. He asked me to touch him and I said no, not in public. He kept suggesting we take a walk so we could have more privacy and I said it was too soon. I keep wondering what he would have wanted to do if we went on a walk. Anyway, I'm keeping it safe while I'm getting to know him. Today I told him that my dad is (or was now I guess) a cop. You should have seen his face and all the nervous laughter that followed. lol. As far as the emotional thing being connected to this...I remember when my mom was dying I came to the hospital dressed as a sexy as I could. I was only 12 but very developed. I would put myself in situations where I was playing the role of the tease but when& it got too real...like a man tried to put his hands on me...I immediately felt disgusted. That may have had something to do with it back then...but this time I didn't put myself out there on purpose...and I'm liking how I feel. | 2007-06-15 20:01:15 |
| 658 | 4283 | "Today me and this man went on a date in a coffee shop. We sat in a corner and kissed, he caressed my nipple through my shirt and my vagina through my pants. He asked me to touch him and I said no, not in public. He kept suggesting we take a walk so we could have more privacy and I said it was too soon." Frankly, if he's going to feel you up on your first date in a coffee shop, I'd strongly recommend not seeing him again.& This guy was old enough to be in high school when you were born, and he's groping you in public?& Think about that for a long while before you call him again. "Today I told him that my dad is (or was now I guess) a cop. You should have seen his face and all the nervous laughter that followed. lol." His reaction when you said your dad was a cop should be warning enough.& If he reacts like that, he clearly thinks he has something to be nervous about.& If he thinks he's doing something wrong, he probably is. "As far as the emotional thing being connected to this...I remember when my mom was dying I came to the hospital dressed as a sexy as I could. I was only 12 but very developed. I would put myself in situations where I was playing the role of the tease but when it got too real...like a man tried to put his hands on me...I immediately felt disgusted. That may have had something to do with it back then...but this time I didn't put myself out there on purpose...and I'm liking how I feel." You're not 12, though, so you won't react the same way; however, you've established that you've previously acted out sexually when faced by a parental crisis.& As strong as this guy is coming on to you, you wouldn't need to put yourself out there on purpose.& You said you don't even find the guy attractive, so maybe it's the urge and not the guy? There are men out there who can make you unbearably horny while still respecting you.& Let's recap: 1) You have previously acted out sexually under stress of losing a parent (and you started masturbating at the same time). 2) You met this guy the day after you put your dad in the hospital for lung cancer. 3) Aside from case #1, you're apparently not inclined to be sexual with men. 3) You don't find the guy attractive. 4) Your first impression was that the guy was a pervert. 5) Despite being creeped out and not being attracted to the guy, you're feeling sexual urges. Do the math.& Frankly, I agree with your friend.& Your behavior may be different, but the cause is similar.& There is a reason everyone says to trust your first instincts. | 2007-06-16 03:46:22 |
| 658 | 4286 | I have another date with this guy tomorrow. He wants to go to a hotel and I said yes. We were talking about what we wanted& to do and I said we could do oral sex but I wasn't ready to have regular sex yet. He said its up to me but he expects pussy by the end of the week. I was like what? I asked why and he said if he doesn't get it by then then it's obvious I never cared about him. I just started laughing. He even said "I like you a lot, I'm starting to love you." How could he love me when he doesn't know anything about me, besides how I look and feel? I'm starting to agree with everybody here, I may stand him up tomorrow. I probably will. & | 2007-06-17 17:57:35 |
| 658 | 4287 | I hope you make the smart choice and stand him up.& He's already told you that he just wants sex.& He seems to think that telling you he's "starting" to love you will fool you into sleeping with him. Another precaution, by the way: before you sleep with anyone (not just this guy), if they have had sex with another person, make sure they get tested for disease.& The numbers of people with STDs these days are astounding. | 2007-06-17 19:37:08 |
| 658 | 4290 | He "Expects" pussy by the end of the week?!?!?!?!:shock: Tell him to go **** himself.:X Sheesh. It's very obvious by now that he only wants you as a sexual object and is preying on you because you are young and naive. Get the hell away from this guy. I really hope you stood him up. If he loved you, he would respect your decision to wait, not insist on you losing it as soon as just to please him so don't fall for that crap either. It's the oldest trick in the book that guys use to get young girls into bed. You don't want to lose your virginity to somebody like this...you WILL regret it later and it will be too late then. Chances are this guy could even bugger off once he's conquered you and add you as another knotch on his bed post and thats all you'll be and you're worth more than that but not to him...obviously. I have vaginismus so I wouldn't be able to just have IC with a guy anyway and, even though it is a pain in the arse, or should I say vagina, it sure is a great way to weed out those who only want you for one thing and you don't need to find any other excuses not to do it. They have to accept that you can't full stop. They can either bugger off to find another vagina to stick their penis up or they can stick with you and learn to respect you and value you for other things. | 2007-06-18 14:56:24 |
| 658 | 4291 | Just reading your last post just made my stomach tighten and a lump formed in my throat. :-&& Men like him make me feel sick. I do hope you make a wise decision.& I want you to be safe.& He's probably a sex predator if he was saying such garbage.& Sex by the end of the week?& Have you ever seen Dateline on NBC news?& It's about men on-line that lure younger children to do things sexually, instead the little child they think they are talking to is a fake.& The child is an undercover personel that works for the detectives and officers.& They set up a meeting place, talk about things they'll do, and they'll ask the man to bring certain items to the house he's meeting at.& He comes up, little does he know a camera crew is in the kitchen he just walked in and the host is there.& Police are outside to arrest the man. :( I really do hope you're okay. | 2007-06-19 20:54:38 |
| 658 | 4297 | I think that if you are not mature enough to heed your own warning signs, you are not mature enough to even consider being with this person.& Do you ever watch the news and hear about young ladies that are later found beaten, raped or dead. & This man is almost twice your age and can't seem to find a (normal ) realationship and has to hit on a teenager at a mall . PLEASE don't let us& hear about you on the news! | 2007-06-24 09:38:40 |
| 658 | 4298 | If inspite of all the warnings and the creepy signs you still find it irresistable to meet him, please do one thing, take a picture of him and send it to SEVERAL of your friends.& And then TELL him that your friends have his picture.& Find a cellphone with a camera or borrow one.& It is very easy to take a quick photo before he realizes what's going on and then slip into the ladies room and send it immediately. Honestly this guy sounds like a opportunistic rapist.& What you're going through with your father, I've been through.& I understand the misery of it all.& BUT Getting yourself into trouble for physical pleasure while your Dad is sick is IMHO selfish and very thoughtless of your poor Dad. PS. You've heard of men who don't take no as an answer?& | 2007-06-24 11:10:11 |
| 658 | 4299 | Well, she hasn't responded in a good few days now. I wonder what happened.....:? | 2007-06-24 11:13:47 |
| 658 | 4300 | I'm still here. I resent some of the things that were said here. A few of my thoughts may have been unwise, but I did do the right the thing in the end. I went on a date with him and instead of going to a motel I made him take us to a restaurant. There we ate and talked and had fun. He asked if I wanted to do something with him and I said yes, but I refused to go to a hotel or his place. So we just kissed in the car and I rubbed him. On the second date we went to his place and made out for a while. I rubbed him again and he fingered me. I originally told him I didn't want him to but I changed my mind. We have another date tomorrow. After that one, I think I'll stop seeing him. He is a nice guy and I feel guilty that I thought all these bad thoughts about him. | 2007-06-24 12:11:06 |
| 658 | 4301 | Well, some people may be jumping to conclusions a bit hastily, but have you at least considered checking your local sex offender registry?& That's assuming you live in the states or somewhere else that has such a thing. Even then, if he's not on it, keep your guard up... every sex offender has a first offense.& As aggressive as this guy is, I'd recommend not telling him you won't see him again when you're in person.& He may not have committed a sex crime before, but with this apparent sense of entitlement he has to your body, you don't know how he'll react to rejection, so either end it over the phone or just stop returning his calls. | 2007-06-24 15:14:06 |
| 658 | 4302 | Stick to masturbating and fantasing until the right man comes along | 2007-06-25 08:57:11 |
| 658 | 4306 | Dear [user=2097]Lynna[/user], please do read my suggestions carefully.You're a nice young lady who has a difficult andolescent time and you lost parents soon.All the same you seem to be a very emotional and strong& lady.You deserve the best in life,and not a hungry guy who is tryng to cheat you,to have sex with you.You offered him to do oral sex and Iwonder if you undurstand what helath risks you'are suming by performing oral sex on him.Are you sure you can manage this?You let heim do a lot to you.Been fingered is not somthing to leave every pervert to do this to you.I'd rather suggets you continue masturbating as you always done,by fingering yourself to orgasm,while you watch out for the right parson to come in your life.I'm pretty sure that it will come soon and you'll be happy to do all kind of sex with him either vaginal or oral.Just wait and do no't let a cheter take advantage of you. & Chris | 2007-06-27 07:24:25 |
| 658 | 4320 | is oral sex a way to lose your virginaty or a good way to relieve your self of temptations to have sex the old fashion way??? what do u guys think ? | 2007-07-03 18:53:46 |
| 658 | 4321 | Definitly yes!Oral sex is& a very good way to relieve your self of temptations to have sex the old fashion way,for most young ladys and a way also to maximise their self esteem since the can see directly the effect of their working on their patners pleasure.Ejaculatiosn is a confiorm of their value and most of the ladys who understand that,not only they perform oral sex but they go all the way taking all sperm. | 2007-07-03 23:32:54 |
| 658 | 4323 | [user=2201]brozzzy17[/user] wrote: "is oral sex a way to lose your virginaty or a good way to relieve your self of temptations to have sex the old fashion way??? what do u guys think ? " People have different definitions of what virginity means.& Virginity means having vaginal intercourse to some people, to others it can mean any kind of sexually intimate act between two people.& There are also a variety of meanings and values that people apply to losing virginity, so it's not really a "yes or no" question. Yes, it can relieve the temptations to have intercourse for some people, but for others it can make them impatient to have more.& If you mean to ask whether it is a good way to deal with being horny, then yes, of course it is.& So is masturbation, though, which happens to be free of emotional and physical complications that come from having sexual intimacy with another person. | 2007-07-04 01:52:21 |
| 658 | 4324 | Lynna, I think you've shown great judgement, and that yes some people in here may be a little extreme in their views, and you're right to take them with a grain of salt. Some people equate virgins with innocent and juvenile, which isn't always so. I waited til I was 18 to lose my virginity, and to a guy I didn't love or anything, and knew nothing else would happen with. That was fine by me, the way I wanted it, but it's up to you, how much importance YOU place on your first time. | 2007-07-04 04:25:51 |
| 660 | 4284 | In the file for vulvas examples 4, 6 and 7 seem to have a smooth majora as seen in airbrushed books for guys. Is this typical? I mean, are there any other photo examples where it is like 8, that the majora are wrinkled? I don't know where this collection came, but maybe Brad can find some like 8.. Thanks, Melissa Examples 1-3& are kind of fuzzy in resolution, so I don't know if they are wrinkled like example 8 is | 2007-06-16 12:06:10 |
| 660 | 4285 | Hi, The tissue of the outer labia is the same tissue that makes up the male scrotum, so it can have the same wrinkled appearance. This isn't usually the case for girls and young women, but I believe it is more common in mature women and those who have given birth, so you aren't likely to see examples of this in porn. Brad | 2007-06-16 17:43:22 |
| 660 | 5610 | & cant see the files. where r they? | 2008-03-18 00:02:24 |
| 660 | 5614 | www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=616&forum_id=15 | 2008-03-18 08:37:53 |
| 661 | 4288 | The videos linked to below show what is done during gynecological exams. [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8tBdHbTXk0] www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8tBdHbTXk0 [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhbOELmVkTc] www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhbOELmVkTc [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yhQbyvy8ZU] www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yhQbyvy8ZU [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp7wip2Uo5k] www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp7wip2Uo5k Breast Sex Exam [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7nHml2mgaA] www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7nHml2mgaA [url=www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8EFN9V_SW8] www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8EFN9V_SW8 | 2007-06-18 12:09:30 |
| 662 | 4289 | Here is a link to information about a person who is intersexed. Natalie was raised a girl and has the outward appearance of being female but is genetically male, XY. Presents information about gender, asexuality, lack of sexual desire, etc. www.youtube.com/profile?user=eFeminate | 2007-06-18 12:18:22 |
| 663 | 4293 | ATLANTA (AP) - Contrary to popular opinion, men are more likely to look at a female's face before other areas when looking at pictures of naked women, according to a study by Emory University researchers. And women will gaze at pictures of heterosexual sex longer than men, the study found. Both findings, published in the journal Hormones and Behavior, shed light on sexual attitudes that really aren't all that mysterious when considered in a scientific light, Emory psychologist Kim Wallen said. Wallen and his former graduate student, Heather Rupp, showed still photos of couples having sex to 30 women and 15 men between the ages of 23 and 28. Each was rigged up with a high-tech eye-tracking device to measure where his or her gaze went first, and how long it stayed there. Men went straight to the face and lingered awhile, but most of the women were more interested in the sexual activity. How much so depended on whether they were taking hormone-filled birth control pills. Those who were, Wallen said, were interested in the overall view of the photos and "background" items like jewelry, but women not on the pill were more interested in areas normally covered by clothing. "Eye-tracking data suggested that what women paid most attention to was dependent on their hormonal state," said Rupp, now at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction. Wallen and Rupp said their study suggests that men's increased attention to faces may be related to higher activation in the amygdala, a portion of the brain that processes emotional information and excitement. Women can tell by looking at naked men whether they are aroused, Wallen said, but female bodies don't reveal much. "It's cryptic, but facial expression is one way of showing an indication of interest in and enjoyment of sex," Wallen said. (Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.) | 2007-06-20 19:58:21 |
| 663 | 4294 | There is also the long established fact (via numerous studies and polls) that the physical trait men desire most is simply a pretty face. I don't know how many people, especially women, have heard the term "butterface", which means that everything on a woman is nice "but her face".& It's kind of a superficial and rude term, but it is telling in the fact that it is the only term that men use that uniquely singles out a physical flaw like that. So I'm not surprised at all about the findings regarding men.& I don't know how many women I've seen with magnificent bodies who I've lost interest in after seeing their face. | 2007-06-20 22:06:39 |
| 665 | 4305 | My wife and I are in the latter years& of our marriage "the Golden Years" our early years of marriage were blighted by prudish parents My wife had no idea what to expect on our honeymoon any experience I had& was only young mens talk. However we got by with the missionary position, I don't think she ever had an orgasm. & We& had a family which have now left home. We in our older age have discovered mutual masturbation and oral sex which we regularly enjoy after long foreplay. My wife now has orgasms , quite noisy ones, which she enjoys. Her problem is that as she approaches her climax she has the urge to talk dirty but bacuase of her up-bringing finds it difficult to use word like fuck, cunt and& cock, the best she can say is "get into my knickers man and make me wet" I find this exciting but she would& like to be& more specific. Do other women have this blockage and if so how do they overcome it, or are there any other words suitable to use by a woman who wants to talk dirty& in the heat of an approaching climax | 2007-06-26 14:32:39 |
| 665 | 4315 | Hi, & Other women have stood in front of a mirror and repeatedly& said words out loud that they found uncomfortable saying, or which they felt were offensive, like the word cunt. The idea being to desensitize yourself to the words so they are easy to say. The words are only inappropriate or offensive if you believe they are. She can then use the bad words in a good context. For example, "I love my pretty cunt." & Outside the bedroom you can also try using flash cards that you show her and she has to say the words.& Allow her to choose the words she wants to use, and is ready to use. You can then move on to sentences. You can then ask her, "What would you like me to lick?" or "What would you like to suck?" & You can also start reading erotic stories to each other. You can find some tame ones to start then move on to kinkier material. Women's romance novels may& be a good starting point. & I hope this information is of help. & Brad | 2007-06-29 19:59:15 |
| 666 | 4307 | I was masturbating today and after I came once, I rolled over onto my side and began using my vibrator that way. I was right on the edge of an orgasm when I felt warmth sliding down the back of my leg so I stopped to see what it was. Much to my surprise there was quite a bit of it on the bed. I was aware of female ejaculation thanks to the-clitoris.com but I'd never experienced it myself. I know it wasn't urine because it had no smell whatsoever. Luckily my boyfriend thought it was hot when I told him about it. ;) & | 2007-06-28 17:26:27 |
| 666 | 4308 | Lucky for you that you don't have any hangups about it.& Some women are mortified by it when it happens and can have serious impacts on their sexuality as a result. | 2007-06-28 18:23:04 |
| 666 | 4309 | Had I not had a good understanding of it before it happened,& I probably would have been mortified. And I was worried what my boyfriend would think because we've never discussed it before and I've heard other guys say that they thought it was nasty (probably because they have no idea what it is). But luckily my boyfriend didn't have any issues at all. So that definitely helped. Otherwise, yeah, I would've been worried. | 2007-06-28 18:31:48 |
| 667 | 4310 | Hey look me and my girl were getting into foreplay the other night and she was on her period. the third day i think. Well any way she had her peiod and she has a pad and her panties on. My penis was out and a little bit of precum had gotten on her panties. Is there a risk of pregnancy here? with the pad panties and on her period i dont think there is but she said there might be and i just wanna make sure. any help plz would be very thank full. | 2007-06-29 07:40:28 |
| 667 | 4313 | I'm no expert, but I've had a few worries of my own so allow me to teach you what I've found in my internet wanderings. Yes, you can get pregnant on your period. Sperm can live inside of a woman for five days, I believe. Some places I've read that precum contains no active sperm, other places I've read said it does, so if anyone has a definite answer, I'd like to hear it. I think in any case, it's best to play it safe and assume that it DOES contain sperm. Assuming that it does contain sperm, if she didn't get any precum in her then you are safe. Even if precum got on the opening of her vagina, I understand that there is still a very small chance that she could get pregnant. If it just got on her panties and not actually on or in her, you're safe. Once again, I'm no expert, someone will probably have to correct me. ;) | 2007-06-29 15:26:59 |
| 667 | 4314 | yes, there is a possibility of pregnancy if semen gets near the vagina, even if its just a very small chance.& the amount of semen that got on the panties, where on the panties, whether it was on the inside or the outside of the panties, and how quickly she changed to clean ones all have an affect on the odds of pregnancy. | 2007-06-29 15:58:41 |
| 667 | 4316 | Hi, This subject is addressed on the website in the Q&A linked to below: Yes, it is possible, but very unlikely. If she has short periods, less than 28 days, the more likely it is to happen. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_2.htm Brad | 2007-06-29 20:03:32 |
| 667 | 4317 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "yes, there is a possibility of pregnancy if semen gets near the vagina, even if its just a very small chance.& the amount of semen that got on the panties, where on the panties, whether it was on the inside or the outside of the panties, and how quickly she changed to clean ones all have an affect on the odds of pregnancy. " ok i get where your coming from. But even if she had a pad on? she was wearing panties and a pad under them. wouldnt that like block the sperm or something? How big is my chance of her being pregnant? thx for the help | 2007-07-01 04:15:44 |
| 667 | 4318 | Wait, you got sperm on the outside of her underwear and she was wearing a pad between the sperm and herself? In that case, as long as none got INSIDE her underwear, you're fine. | 2007-07-01 09:49:41 |
| 668 | 4319 | I'm and female and turned sixty have enjoyed sex all my life until recently I used to get horny what can I do to make myself feel horny again, or what should my husband do | 2007-07-03 06:04:27 |
| 668 | 4322 | Dear [user=57]Lightouch[/user], it's most nice seeing that ladys at sixty would like not to give up having sex and would like to satisfy their man and themselves.Fisrt of all you should be confortable with your body and feel desirable.Lubrificate your vaginal opening to favour natural jucies which make more time to come up,so you can be stimulted with out any disconfort.You should laso wear sexy garments to make your man hornier and be ready for sexual act.Trying all the nice thing tht mek you horny with your husband is also a good idea.Some good fingering produces most of the time good results in a womans body.Besides helping your husband keeping up his erection is a good idea also.Best suuggestion would be masturbate him directly with a lubrificated hand or perform on him some good oral sex in case you like oral,so that you both get horny. & A medical solution in case al this doesn't work well is getting some testosterone hormone shots which your physician or gynecologist will be happy to prescribe you too,in case you realy need them.The result is most encuraging most of the patiens I havwe followed have very good results and turned to most stimulating sex life. You got lot's of pleasure to give and much to receive.You're old enough to make and& & appreciete good sex and young enough to& have much more sex in your life. Just don't give up & Chris g | 2007-07-04 00:02:22 |
| 668 | 4725 | Dear LIGHTOUCH In reply to your post of 7/3/07 (I don't get to visit this site too often) I wish to add my 2¢ to this--(I also agree with the reply by 'chris'). I'm 64 and am far from leaving the sex life like so many others are doing. You are still married and, apparently, would still like to enjoy the joys of having sex. Wonderful. Just don't fall into the the rut of how a "senior citizen" is supposedly to be some sort of sexless geek that this society puts us into.& You are still a young-at-heart (remember that Frank Sinatra song?) woman.& Take care of yourself--keep away from Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts. It doesn't matter what you wear on the outside--meaning your style of slacks, dresses, etc.--but what you have on UNDER them. Your undies are your very personal garments that make you feel good. And they are really INexpensive! --at least for the panties---best are the low-rise briefs or bikinis. Just don't go the route of the 'granny gotchies'--it's like an older guy whose beltline is just under his arms and wears suspenders to boot!& As for your panties, the brand called "NO NONSENSE" (found in most supermarkets) is very good. Of course you could go to Victoria's Secret or one of the 'online' stores. BUT for your bra--it should be properly fitted for your breasts. When you are comfortable in your underclothes, it won't matter what you wear on top of them--this will also be of great importance in how 'sexy' you feel--when you are sexy in your mind, your body will follow your mind and who knows ----whatever may cum up?? skoo | 2007-08-16 20:57:59 |
| 668 | 4777 | I've recently read that heathly women between 60 and 80 still enjoy sex with their partners. If this this so I would be interested to hear the views of such women and what sexual activities they engage in; is it mutual masturbation or& full intercourse?.& I would also be interest to hear the views of younger people on such activities among their elders | 2007-09-05 07:48:50 |
| 668 | 4816 | Dear Lightouch,& & We are older than you and congratulate you. I can write only of what works for us but my wife likes to feel she is being subservient and obeying. We go to town only once each fortnight as it is a& 2-hour drive there. My wife is to have fresh-shaved pubes and under-arms, no panties, a& bra, frock with full skirt which she must adjust when sitting so that her bare flesh is on the car seat or chair, with& shoes.& In town, my wife does the grocery shopping, buying a medium size cucumber which she must have on top of the groceries on the trolley at all times, unwrapped. Then, she must buy me a men's magazine. At lunch, my wife must fold her arms loosely,gently and seemingly caress each nipple with a forefinger, tell me when they are up. After lunch, my wife is to go to the lavatory with the mag., finger herself until well-moistened, but not cum. We drive home with my wife keeping herself moist. Sometimes, I stop in a sheltered spot and take her. Often, she is readied again when we arrive home. We both look forward to our days in town! | 2007-09-16 00:17:00 |
| 669 | 4325 | Is it difficult for a woman to respond to a male's thrusting? | 2007-07-04 23:10:59 |
| 669 | 4326 | it depends on the position. | 2007-07-05 00:15:20 |
| 669 | 4328 | Like dfs said, depends on the position.& I don't seem to have any problems with thrusting when my boyfriend is at it too. :) | 2007-07-06 07:46:16 |
| 669 | 4329 | i don't have any problem with it...even with man on top of woman she can thrust, although I find that it usually causes guys to ejaculate fast | 2007-07-08 11:38:19 |
| 670 | 4331 | Hi! To reach orgasme I need quite a lot of stimulation of my clit. I'm only able to reach the top by using an eroscillator (strong vibrator) or in the shower with a water stream. The eroscillator makes me dependent on an "outlet" (i.e. the eroscillator does not have batteries). Do you know about a good and strong vibrator which also goes on batteries? & | 2007-07-09 01:06:41 |
| 670 | 4420 | Hi, The Pocket Rocket is a small and inexpensive battery powered vibrator. They also make rechargeable muscle massagers. Brad | 2007-07-15 13:00:31 |
| 670 | 5962 | My wife loves the eroscillator and has been using one for 10 years or longer, the first one she wore out and is now on the second. | 2008-07-31 16:11:28 |