Old Discussion Forum - From 2005 to 2009
Female Sexuality - 2006 Topics: Part 2 of 2
| Topic ID | Post ID | Post Text | Date & Time |
| 354 | 2075 | Hi, I received the following letter and was hoping perhaps the visitors here can provide some insight and& feedback. While I believe this is a valid question its taboo nature makes it impossible to find any information on the subject. I mention briefly on the website that such dynamics may exist but how does one address them? It is one thing to acknowledge it happens and another to deal with it when it does. I was surprised in a mainstream movie when a mother basically makes the comment, "I sometimes wish they would just do it and get it over with." when a father is helping his adult daughter prepare for her wedding. The mother perhaps feeling the daughter was getting more attention than she. While a fictional movie the person who wrote it must have felt sexual dynamics and tension may occur in a father/daughter relationship. Perhaps fathers and daughters can provide insight from both sides of the father/daughter relationship. Please keep responses constructive. Thanks, Brad "My daughter is a teenager and there are times when I feel some sexual attraction toward her, and definitely times when it seems like she's flirting with me. Sometimes, there's just this sexual energy in the room. I've never done anything wrong; at least I don't think so. But you hear so much about how many pervert fathers there are and how much incest there is. How can I tell if how I'm feeling is wrong? I never talk to anyone about it because they'll think I'm sick and I could get locked up! Why do I feel like this and what do I do about it?" & This is from the book "Dads and Daughters".I don't have access to this book at the moment so I thought I'd ask you.I feel& just like he does.I think my teenage daughter flirts with me.I also sometimes feel sexually attracted toward her.Why do I feel this way and what can I do about it? The answers I've received are vague and don't explain much. Your answer will be greatly appreciated. Thank& you so much for your time and help. | 2006-07-25 21:28:31 |
| 354 | 2077 | As a daughter, I can say that when I was younger I used to always tell my mom that, "I am going to marry daddy when I get older."& Psychologically the daughter of the father has some attraction to their father, and the same goes for the sons of the mothers. I'll admit that I have been curious about certain things that contained my father, but I just thought that was normal thoughts.& I would never do things with my father, because when really thinking about it, I'm not attracted to him, don't get me wrong, my dad is good looking, but he's my dad! I think a reason why you may feel that you have sexual attraction to her, also, may have to do with how you were attracted to her mothers.& She's a part of the woman you found absolutely beautiful and created another with. | 2006-07-25 23:01:47 |
| 354 | 2079 | Hi Again, I wanted to add the following experience. Someone related the experience of a male friend who was laying on a beach when he opened his eyes to notice a pair of shapely legs standing next to him. His eyes slowly moved up the body of a very beautiful and sexy young woman in a bikini. He was enjoying the view until his eyes reached her face and he realized it was his teenage daughter. I forgot what I said but a young woman in the group said she would hope a father would find his daughter attractive and that his actions weren't inappropriate. I believe the whole conversation was the result of seeing some young teenage girls in& very revealing bikinis. Brad | 2006-07-25 23:59:24 |
| 354 | 2080 | The question of incest is an incredibly complex one.& Different societies define incest in different ways and there is really no definitive knowledge as to the source of incest taboos in human culture.& Clearly, though, any issue with incest is a psychological one.& That's not to say, however, that the taboo is in place because of any psychological effects it may have.& What I mean is that the taboo (as with nearly all taboos) is in place for social reasons rather than physiological ones.& Incest is commonplace in other animals, and contrary to popular belief incest does not cause birth defects (though under certain circumstances it can increase the probability of birth defects already in the genes).& The point here, though, is that the incest taboo far predates the sciences of psychology and biology, so the repercussions we associate with incest in modern times could not have been a factor in the formation of the taboo itself. Some speculate that the incest taboo is a social tool used to encourage the expansion of bloodlines.& Certainly at certain points in history, incest has been used as a method of maintaining a bloodline, specifically in royal bloodlines seeking to maintain their perceived authority (authority of bloodlines is another social/psychological issue rather than a physical one).& However, this is not (and probably never will be) established fact. I found a few entries at wikipedia about incest taboos.& As with all things at wikipedia, take everything with a grain of salt. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incest_taboo en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incest Now, anthropology aside, lets take a look at the specific example of a father feeling attraction for a daughter in the modern age.& Looking at the example Brad gave of the man seeing the attractive woman and then realizing it was his daughter, I have to say that an attractive woman is an attractive woman.& The concept of relationships and lineage is, as I said earlier, a concept that lives in the mind.& What we, as modern humans, find at fault in incest (and in particular, parent-child incest) is the same thing we find at fault in pedophiles, and that is the harm it can do to the child.& According to society, there is a unique role that a parent is supposed to fill in the life of a child.& The parent is supposed to be a nurterer, a protector, a guide, a provider.& A child, especially a pre-teen, is not psychologically developed enough to understand a sexual role, and the crossing of the line from a parent role to a sexual role is obviously quite damaging to a child.& Even as a teen, though, a child has been ingrained with the image of a parent filling a role for many years.& For a parent to cross that line with a teenager violates the bounds of the relationship and can cause a lot of emotional damage as well.& It's the crossing of the line that causes this damage, not the thought itself. Now lets take a hypothetical situation under examination: assume a young promiscuous teen boy impregnates a girl his age.& Understandably, the girl can't raise a child, the family keeps it a secret, and the child (a girl) is put up for adoption soon after birth.& 20 years down the road, the boy has become a man.& He starts dating a younger woman (a fairly common occurence in our society).& They get romantically close and develop a sexual relationship.& Unbeknownst to either of them, the young woman is the daughter that he fathered and was put up for adoption.& Technically this is incest, but if the man doesn't know he has a daughter and the woman doesn't know this is her biological father, is there any line being crossed?& No, there isn't, because there is no father daughter relationship to be violated. So, what is my point with this?& My point is that, by my reckoning, there is nothing wrong with being attracted to your daughter (or any other attraction between close relations).& A man doesn't stop being a sexual creature just because he fathered a female child.& The attraction, however, becomes a serious problem when it is acted upon and a line is crossed.& When your thoughts become actions that have a tangible and negative effect on another person is when it becomes harmfull. Of course, this has more to do with child abuse than with incest.& The dynamic between an adult parent and a naieve child is incredibly different than, for example, the relationship between two innocent and naieve siblings who are experimenting sexually, or between adult and consenting siblings or cousins.& Both are considered taboo, of course, but I don't really have much to say about that situation.& The really interesting thing in this discussion is that of cousins.& The divide between sex and incest always lies between degrees of cousinship, and it seems to be rather arbitrarily selected from region to region.& At what point are you not related anymore?& Does being raised as cousins matter?& Suppose you never meet a first cousin that lives far away, but are raised to be close with a third cousin and consider them family?& Which of them, if either, would constitute an incestuous relationship? | 2006-07-26 01:13:44 |
| 354 | 2081 | I should probably apologize for the previous post, because I think I raised more questions than I answered :D | 2006-07-26 01:14:42 |
| 354 | 2087 | I found your answer quite interesting and I certainly agree with what you had to say. Basically, what you stated is what it all boils down to. I read up that guys often look for GFs that are like their mothers and I suppose girls might also look for guys that are like their fathers. I don't think I'd look for a guy that was like my dad mind. He leaves a lot to be desired, lol. If a young person is close to their parents or, at least, to the parent of the opposite sex, it only makes sense they'd look for the same qualities in a partner because they look to that parent as a role model for that gender and they base the standards they set for that gender upon the qualities their parent has that they appreciate. I see girls who do get quite affectionate and "Flirty", with their fathers but it isn't flirting like with another guy they fancy, it is more just a case of expressing themselves fully with somebody they know very well and trust. Maybe, subconsciously, it is a way of practising for the real thing. Use dad as a role model for when you go flirting with other guys. I've seen young girls like this with their dads& where I work and I was serving them. Rather than see it as disturbing, I thought it was quite nice and wished things could've been more like that for me. My dad has never been the affectionate type so I was never able to develop that type of closeness with him and that might be why I find it hard to get closer than casual mates with any guy. Maybe these interactions between father and daughter are more important than we think. Like dfs says, as long as the line isn't crossed, I don't think that these feelings are harmful on their own. It's just a case of making sure they aren't acted upon in a society where such a thing isn't acceptable. Still, it makes me wonder what would happen to father and daughter if such a scenario between long lost adopted daughter and her unbeknownst father did happen and they later found out along with other people and I'm sure it has. I know many people would quickly jump to the conclusion that the father must be a perv so it is understandable that they don't know who to talk to about their confusing feelings. I never meant to type this much, lol....oh well.:P | 2006-07-26 07:19:37 |
| 354 | 2093 | Exactly Canis.& My father and I are really close.& When I was little, we both did things together.& I used to always be his little helper, fishing buddy, and so on.& My boyfriend has similar traits my dad has, but there are also many differences.& When I look at my sister and dad's relationship, they are too alike that they don't get along all the time, but they do when there isn't something to disagree on.& My sister has always been closer to my mom.& Even though I'm very close to my mom in ways too. My sister is usually attracted to guys that have no similarities at all to our father.& She prefers men that have darker skin tones and built body. I think the relationship a child has with their parents has a lot to do with how they choose their partners.& But not in all cases. | 2006-07-26 10:09:23 |
| 354 | 2095 | Hi, Here is a link to a long article on the subject of incest: www.geocities.com/kidhistory/incestd.htm Brad | 2006-07-26 10:22:11 |
| 354 | 2096 | Hi, How many of these girls learn to flirt in order to control Dad? It could be innocent, or a means of manipulating them, or a means of gaining attention. As an adult, these are not good skills to have learned. Brad | 2006-07-26 10:29:24 |
| 354 | 2097 | I don't feel overly close to either of my parents although I'm more close to my mother than my dad, there is still plenty I wouldn't talk to her about. She didn't really show anything in the way of support when I told her about the vag and now I wish I hadn't bothered. I never tell people I love them...I find myself unable to tell people that. I tend to find it much easier to get close to animals...not sexually mind, haha. We always had lots of pets when I was a kid and I learnt how to connect with them whereas it was different with people. Either they were cold and distant or didn't have time for you or they were mean. Once I got to a certain age, I was unable to handle overly affectionate people. I never liked being cuddled and such for example. Hated having to kiss relatives goodbye, lol. I'll hug the animals till the cows come home though. The dogs especially would always appreciate you but not impose on you. I grew up with 3 siblings and, even though we get on and such, there is no real closeness between any of us. My only full sibling with the same dad, a sister, is the closest one to me but then there is still a distance between us, I can feel it. Anyway, I'd better shut up now cos I'm gradually straying off the subject.:P | 2006-07-26 10:31:04 |
| 354 | 2099 | "If I ever find a guy who is half the man my Dad is, I'll marry him"& I don't know how many times I've said when I was a teenager and I think I still think it. I think what the guy is experiencing is very normal.& & Like dfs3 said: the taboo is a learned behavior while sexual attraction is on a lower level so to speak (a more instinctive level). As long as he keeps things in check and does not do anything explicit regarding these thoughts, they will remain just that, thoughts.& I'd say that what is safe is to let her flirt with him with encourging it too much. Here's my experience:& I'm really close to my dad.& I don't know how is flirting defined but I'd say there was some of it as I was growing up.& But more of a sweet joking around kind of thing.& For example, my dad would tease me and my sisters about our growing breasts and compare them to fruits (apricots.. apples and then grapefruit :)).& But it was never done in a hush-hush dirty kind of way.: it was out in the open and if we didn't like it we'd complain.& & He commented alot in a light way on our growing bodies and how they took a female shape.& He'd always say when we go out that people must be really jealous now that he has 4 shapely women around with him (counting my mom :))& Now that I think about it, it did a lot of good.& I started feeling like a woman and that I was being acknowledged as one.& I didn't and I still don't feel wierd talking to him about 'girl stuff'.& In fact, when I got my first period, I told him first! Even before my mom!& I remember my girl friends were always shocked when they found out I tell my dad that I have my period. I'd say he must've been attracted at some point to one or more of us but i only suspected it when I passed my teenages years.& When this sort of thing is handled& in a tactful way and a light manner, it can strengthen a daughter-father relationship without freaking the daughter out. I was never personally attracted to him but I was curious about his sexuality and my mother's.& Perhaps because they didn't discuss sex with me. Feeling wierd about it and distancing himself from his daughter will only make things worse.& But I'd be careful with whom he discusses this sort of thing as it can be easily misunderstood. I wouldn't suggest discussing it with his daughter.& Very tricky buisness that could go horribly wrong.& If it is simple flirting then let it be, it'll pass and perhaps strengthen their father-daughter emotions.& I would've been horrified if my father would ever try to talk about something like this. | 2006-07-26 12:13:05 |
| 354 | 2147 | Hi Brad It is a fact that many fathers find their daughter's beautiful and sexually attractive. We know this and it is discussed. A father in my opinion should never ever do anything about these feelings no matter what the daughter's behaviour is like. Instead should educate the daughter about the emotional aspects of relationships of love and sex. It would be highly innapropriate for a dad to take advantage of his daughter in a sexual way and inevitably it will cause some issues to resurface later on in the girls life possibly in her 20's or 30's or even later. When she has her own children she may become a different type of mother towards her children than if a sexual relationship with her own father never happened. I speak from bitter experience and can honestly say no matter what colour people paint it - sexual relationships between a parent and child should not happen - a parent is there to protect and guide, educate and encourage and only want the best things in life for their children. Princess | 2006-07-27 16:50:51 |
| 354 | 2271 | In respect of the Daughter 'flirting' with the Father, and having some form of attraction towards him I'd say it can be attributed to Freud's Oidepus (for males) and Elektra Complex (for females). [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elektra_complex]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elektra_complex It describes how at a young age males and females are attracted to the opposite sex parent - hence the often said "I want to marry my father/mother". This is because they are a provider, and carer, giving the child everything they want and desire, e.g. food, and attention.& However in the eyes of the child should such a relationship form they fear there will be some reprisal (I know for males it is that the Father will cut the males penis off - or so I was told!).& Therefore in this case the female fears that their mother will hurt them should they form& a sexual relationship with the father.& As to acheive a relationship with someone similar to the& girls father& the child begins to& mimic the manerisms and actions of their& mother, throughtout their upbringing. (I know that if some people fail to associate with a Father or Mother figure it can lead to gender issues, and/ or a lack of masculinity in males - according to Freud.) The best way to describe the transition is by the use of a bridge. At first the child is standing with the& Father on one side of the bridge. This is where they form the attraction. However, the fear of reprisal from the Mother means that they then attempt to associate themselves with their Mother, and slowly, whilst maturing, cross the 'bridge' until they become rather like their same-sex parent. However if the child never makes it fully across the 'bridge' then this is where gender issues come into it. Should& a child develop into a representation of their same-sex parent then this may explain why the Father may feel some form of attraction to their daughter, and it may be heightened due to the natural sexual& attraction of a younger person. This is because the child will be a representation of the Mother, only younger, maybe even carrying her looks! Could this therefore mean that the Father is only feeling attracted to her because of the similarity of her and the mother? Also at younger ages - whilst a child is going through puberty or just after -& will they not have also an increase in pheromones, which may increase attraction? Especially if they are similar to the Mothers. & - Meh | 2006-08-01 04:42:47 |
| 354 | 2287 | YES! That's what I was talking about! :) | 2006-08-01 22:36:19 |
| 354 | 3457 | Hi, I received the following email concerning this topic. Anyone have advise for this guy? Brad Me and my daughter have always had a very close relationship. She regulary would rub my feet or sit on my lap and cuddle or wrestle with me etc. However she's reached her adolescence now and I've noticed some surprising changes in her behavior. For one I feel like shes actually flirting with me. I thought I was crazy at first, but I've noticed that she actually tries to suggestively ask me how she looks and seems to competing for my attention. I've also noticed that boys have started noticing her. Shes aware of this and even seems to enjoy it. And well... I've begun to notice her too. We were at the beach the other day and we decided to split up and do our own thing. Well about an hour later I noticed what I thought was an attractive girl. My gaze was going from her legs to her stomach, and when I reached her face I noticed it was my daughter!! Theres this sexual tension between us. I think I am sexually attracted to her. Theres this sexual tension between us. The other day for example, she wore a tank top that showed her belly and quite a bit of her back and was wearing a miniskirt. Her thong was also quite visible. I told her that there was no way she could wear that of course, but while she was walking away I couldn't help but "check her out" so to speak. And yes I was aroused. Her flirting also arouses me. Of course I have absolutely no intention to act on these feelings. I love her too much to ruin her life, but I do have the feelings. I know this is all soo wrong, but how do I deal with these feelings and how do I make them go away so that me and my daughter can get close again. I've started pulling away from her ever since she reached her teen years, but I really want to have that close relationship we once had. What do I do? | 2006-12-29 09:29:37 |
| 354 | 3459 | Oh boy.& That's definitely a tight situation. I think the best thing for him to do is just to be the ol' dad he used to be and not distance himself.& He also needs to learn how to control his sexual urges to.& I'm glad that he admitted to it being wrong and that he would never do such a thing to ruin his daughter's life. | 2006-12-29 16:26:59 |
| 354 | 3460 | Hi, I was thinking it is best to show the same interest and affection as before, as if he withdraws from her she will act out more to regain his attention and/or flirt more with boys and find herself in situations she isn't ready to handle. She wants and needs his attention and approval, but also must set limits, as a parent. Did the father, or mother, of any of the women here mention to her that her choice of clothing might be sending the wrong message to those around her? Is it only fashion or something more? Where is the line between dressing attractive and provocatively? Provide a guy's perspective? Brad | 2006-12-29 19:38:35 |
| 354 | 3461 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, I was thinking it is best to show the same interest and affection as before, as if he withdraws from her she will act out more to regain his attention and/or flirt more with boys and find herself in situations she isn't ready to handle. She wants and needs his attention and approval, but also must set limits, as a parent. Did the father, or mother, of any of the women here mention to her that her choice of clothing might be sending the wrong message to those around her? Is it only fashion or something more? Where is the line between dressing attractive and provocatively? Provide a guy's perspective? Brad " I couldn't agree with you more. There is a slight chance that her undies might need a changing.& How old is she?& Should a really young girl just new to her teens be wearing a thong?& I think nowadays with the style of undies, I have seen many girl's panties sticking out of their pants.& Victoria has a secret for a reason and lets keep it that way.& If your undies are sticking out of the back of your pants, it's either that your pants are too small or your undies are way too big. | 2006-12-29 20:49:27 |
| 354 | 3462 | They make trousers and jeans way too low cut now as well to cater for fashion. This makes undies show and looks stupid in general I think. It doesn't flatter the natural curve of the female body either. Still, I don't know about in the U.S but here in the UK, boys are now doing the same thing. I saw my cousin doing it on boxing day and I just had to comment on how ridiculous I thought it looked and that he should stop doing it. What they do is wear their jeans half way& down their buttocks so you can see the top half of their undies. I don't know how they manage to keep their jeans up really wearing them like that. They look all baggy around the crotch too with the crotch of the jeans being down near their knees& where they aren't fitting them properly. It is supposed to be the fashion for lads but it looks totally ridiculous. I agree that the daughter should be taught that she doesn't have to advertise herself sexually in order to gain attention and that doing so will only get her the wrong kind of attention. Still, trying to get through to people that age about subjects like these is like talking to a brick wall.:? | 2007-01-01 07:36:19 |
| 354 | 3463 | I recall that stage with the baggy pants.& Boys tend to do that still here in the states.& Now they are also wearing shirts 20 times too big for them and the look like they are wearing dresses or trying to like like Alvin and the Chipmunks.& I think this trend needs to go. But there are also some cliques of boys that wear women jeans.& Their pants are so slim you can see pretty much everything.& Canis, you are right though.& Some girls do wear their pants really low.& When I was working the other day, I saw a girl whose pants were about at the top of where the pubic hair triangle would start.& You could tell she probably shaves or waxes that because there was absolutely no hair.& My coworker was saying to me, "Look at that girl!& You practically see her private!" | 2007-01-01 11:51:44 |
| 354 | 3464 | I have seen girls like that too where the only thing not showing is the vulva itself. What they are wanting to gain from doing this is beyond me!!!!! You can see where they have shaved still even if there is no hair there. It doesn't even look good and if I wore jeans/trousers that low cut, I'd be constantly wanting to pull them up. They can't feel comfortable like that. There was a young girl in her teens in our shop this evening. She was bobbed down, sort of squatted,& looking at a DVD on the bottom shelf and being in that position, her top went up her back, her jeans went down leaving a nice builders arse on show. I don't know how they can't notice. I'd feel the draft on my back and arse. | 2007-01-01 16:18:35 |
| 354 | 3465 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "I have seen girls like that too where the only thing not showing is the vulva itself. What they are wanting to gain from doing this is beyond me!!!!! You can see where they have shaved still even if there is no hair there. It doesn't even look good and if I wore jeans/trousers that low cut, I'd be constantly wanting to pull them up. They can't feel comfortable like that. There was a young girl in her teens in our shop this evening. She was bobbed down, sort of squatted,& looking at a DVD on the bottom shelf and being in that position, her top went up her back, her jeans went down leaving a nice builders arse on show. I don't know how they can't notice. I'd feel the draft on my back and arse. " They know it and they do it on purpose.& They wear them for the same reason other women wear deep plunging necklines. I happen to like women in low rise jeans, but some jeans are just ridiculously low.& They might as well wear denim garters and stockings. | 2007-01-01 19:41:19 |
| 354 | 3471 | Yeah, they do it on purpose and thats what makes it even more worrying...the fact that they feel they need to. The messages that are obviously transferred across to young girls as they grow up are damaging. Basically they are learning that they have to keep certain parts of the anatomy covered up because they are crude and offensive and dirty etc...but at the same time, if you try and show as much of them as you can, men will look at you and want to have sex with you...if you don't show them off, nobody will give you a second glance. | 2007-01-02 11:23:02 |
| 354 | 3474 | Perhaps they don't feel they need to?& Maybe some of them want to.& It can be pleasing to be found sexually attractive.& 100 years ago a beautiful woman would be expected to supress her beauty and sexuality.& Today she can express it and flaunt it.& People are sexual creatures by nature; we don't need society to make us that way.& A lot of women dress scantily to exert control as well.& Personal choice has to enter into the situation somewhere. | 2007-01-02 13:42:06 |
| 354 | 3475 | The reason they want to is because they want to be noticed like they feel they won't be if they don't dress scantily. I have had this same feeling myself as I grew up but I didn't give in to it. Thats why I know the real reason they do it. I don't think it is good for any young woman to advertise herself purely as a sexual object because thats basically what they are doing. They forget that there are more important aspects to them then their breasts and vaginas etc...and what they can offer in bed. They might strut around with their buttocks and cleavage hanging out and forget to actually have a personality of any sort. Guys often don't respect women like that and treat them as sexual objects which isn't surprising when they advertise themselves as one. It can also make guys try to treat women in general as purely sexual objects that don't deserve any respect because they get too used to it. I've also read what guys have said in magazines where they admit they don't respect scantily clad girls who are too easy and would actually prefer women who were more modest and relied more on wit, intelligence and personality to get themselves noticed and showed a little more self respect. There was a series on UK TV recently called ladette to lady where a bunch of ladettes were taken to a finishing school to learn how to be ladies. One of them had a habit of showing off her newly enhanced boobs in public when she got drunk and such. After a few weeks at the school, where the teachers were strict btw, she broke down and admitted she did it to get noticed, that she'd never had a BF and didn't feel like anyone would notice her otherwise and that it was also the reason she had the boob job to start with. Sort of said it all didn't it? Also, many of these young girls are not even prepared to engage in sex, might be too young or just not ready so why are they advertising themselves as such? By dressing that way they are basically telling guys they are up for it when, in most cases, they aren't. It's very unfortunate that a survery in the UK revealed that women who get drunk or are too scantily dressed and get raped were basically asking for it. Too many of the general public including juries reckon it was her fault and not the guys that she got raped. I'll never agree that a guy ever has an excuse to rape a woman but if so many other people feel that way, are these young girls doing themselves any favours? | 2007-01-02 14:01:08 |
| 354 | 3476 | I realise that some girls do it for the reasons you cite.& But not ALL of them do.& I don't think you can ever reduce the cause of a certain kind of behavior to only one source.& Pretty much everything young kids do is for the sake of attention, and that applies to males and females.& However, it isn't just young women who dress scantily.& I would not trust polls in magazines for anything.& They are most likely skewed to make an interesting editorial point for the magazine if they aren't completely fabricated in the first place.& Yes, some men don't respect scantily clad women.& For others, that is exactly what they are looking for.& It's not my cup of tea, but if a man and a woman want a relationship primarily based on sex and sexuality, then more power to them.& Believe it or not, there are shallow women just as there are shallow men. As for the bit about rape, I don't think that has any relevance to the topic here. | 2007-01-02 14:30:56 |
| 354 | 3478 | The survey wasn't from a magazine but the results of it were all over the papers and the news. The courts themselves have found the problem during rape cases because the juries generally had this same attitude hence the such low conviction of rape in the UK. The part from the magazines were guys who were stopped in the street and asked to give their opinions on things or guys who took part in articles etc...Their photos were usually there along with their comments. I doubt the magazine would have just made up what they said if their photos and names were stuck there next to it. I personally believe that the rape issue can be connected to this because, as so many people seem to believe, women dressing scantily and getting drunk etc..is partly what causes it to happen because the guys think the woman is up for it when she isn't. It is known for guys to actually use this excuse for having raped a woman stating that she was well up for it because she was showing him everything she had anyway. Some women, though I doubt many, might choose to dress that way just because they truly want to, especially when they go& for a night out in the middle of winter& and it's -7c,& but people forget the implications this can have on the rest of women too. In the end, there is always an underlying reason as to why somebody wants to dress the way they do. The girl in the ladette to lady series might have tried to make out previously that she dressed that way because she simply liked to and there would be plenty out there willing to believe her....that doesn't mean she was telling the truth though. Where low self-esteem is concerned, doing things like this is all about hiding that insecurity problem, not admitting that you only do it to make yourself feel more attractive and appear more confident. Looking at the footage of her dancing about in the nightclub and showing her boobs etc...before going to the finishing school, you would never believe that she had a low self-esteem problem without really looking into it. Most people wouldn't realise at all. Even you might believe she dressed that way simply because she wanted to. Not everything is as it seems. You only have the word of girls you've known etc..& to go by and then they might not have been telling the truth or not even understand themselves very well because we all do things that we don't really understand...that seems to happen automatically. Being a woman myself, I have a bit more understanding about the pressures we feel we have placed upon us because I feel it personally. It isn't something I have to ask somebody else about. If I go out, I don't see guys showing all their flesh. They wear trousers and a shirt. It's what pretty much all the guys wear when they go out.& The most you would see is their arms and maybe shoulders if they wore a sleeveless top. The women on the other hand might have a boob tube the width of a ruler and what looks more like a wide belt than a skirt strapped precariously around their genital area. Older women sometimes dress scantily but most of the older women& I see dress more modestly often because they feel they no longer have the type of figure they want to show off but also because they are more mature with more life experience and know, as a result of that along with being married and no longer after the attention she desired when younger, that there is no need to show as much flesh as possible for attention. You do see more children wanting to dress scantily...little kids and such who don't even have any womenly attributes yet. It's worrying when& they feel that is the be all and end all to their existence...and this message is put across to them by adult women, famous or not, who dress this way. Obviously, as children, like my 9 year old neice, the notion of them simply& wanting to express their sexuality isn't really feasible especially as many of them don't even know what sex is yet. It's easy for this attitude to become deeply& engrained by the time they reach puberty. My neice doesn't like modest little girl& clothing because she feels she'll be ridiculed by her friends as being immature and babyish so she feels under pressure to show flesh in order to feel more cool and grown up. Both sexes are supposed to be sexual but yet men don't feel the pressure to show all the flesh like women do. A couple can easily have a relationship based upon sex and sexuality without showing everyone else what they have in a sexual context as well. | 2007-01-02 15:21:43 |
| 354 | 3479 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: " Both sexes are supposed to be sexual but yet men don't feel the pressure to show all the flesh like women do. " Some men go out in skin tight clothing, showing off their muscles and whatnot.& But really, the thing is that men and women perceive different desires in the opposite sex.& If men thought women would give them more attention by dressing scantily, they would (and some do... its those jocks in muscle tees that go about flexing their arms for the women).& However, general male perception is that women are attracted to other things, so they pursue those things instead.& Men think they will get attention by having nice cars, nice clothes, and putting on an air of money and success.& Men may have different roles they are expected to play to, but they are under no less pressure to conform to them.& Most men wouldn't be caught dead in a club wearing a cut off fish net tee and a speedo; not out of principle, though, but because of their fears of how women would treat them if they were seen dressed that way. | 2007-01-02 15:59:11 |
| 354 | 3480 | Yes, the things that women and men desire are different but, either way, suckering up to it isn't really beneficial whichever sex you are and what the aspect is. I'm not impressed by guys just because they have flash cars or money and I'm not impressed with guys who are overly muscled and pumped up and many women I have spoken to about these subjects have also said how they don't like this type of guy either. In fact, many feel offended by that type of guy to think he actually expects them to be as shallow as to only go& after him for stuff like that.& Sometimes, these guys can seem a bit too self-obsessed and from what many other women say, I think that type of thing would only attract the shallowest of women..not a desirable type for a guy to look for. It's often you get people making sarcastic remarks about those guys who show off with flash cars, money or muscles just as you get people berating women who dress scantily. I don't know about in the States but tight clothing is rare on straight men in the UK. It's usually gay men that do the tight clothing and it is certainly only minimal, not like the number of women who dress scantily. Just something I have observed. Some of the body builder types& like to wear tight tops but it still covers their actual flesh and leaves something to the imagination at least. If men stopped looking at women as sexual objects and eye candy, maybe women would stop feeling like they had to act like one same as if women stopped looking for guys just because they have money muscles& or success, guys wouldn't have to try and use those to get the attention of women. It's funny how it is probably the minority in both sexes that really& desire these shallow attributes but yet this can cause a much higher percentage of the opposite sex to try and sucker up to it. & | 2007-01-02 17:15:15 |
| 354 | 3481 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Yes, the things that women and men desire are different but, either way, suckering up to it isn't really beneficial whichever sex you are and what the aspect is. " That depends on what you are looking for in a relationship.& If you want something serious and long term, then no.& If you want something sexual and shallow, it's definitely beneficial. " I'm not impressed by guys just because they have flash cars or money and I'm not impressed with guys who are overly muscled and pumped up and many women I have spoken to about these subjects have also said how they don't like this type of guy either. In fact, many feel offended by that type of guy to think he actually expects them to be as shallow as to only go& after him for stuff like that.& Sometimes, these guys can seem a bit too self-obsessed and from what many other women say, I think that type of thing would only attract the shallowest of women..not a desirable type for a guy to look for. It's often you get people making sarcastic remarks about those guys who show off with flash cars, money or muscles just as you get people berating women who dress scantily. " I'm not talking about what people are actually interested in.& I am talking about what the opposite sex thinks they are interested in.& We are all instinctually programmed to seek attention and sex.& Whenever we try to gain the interest of another person, even in non-sexual situations, we all try to appeal to what we perceive as the interests of the person whose attention we are trying to attract.& I don't think that is a bad or good thing.& It's just how we work. " I don't know about in the States but tight clothing is rare on straight men in the UK. It's usually gay men that do the tight clothing and it is certainly only minimal, not like the number of women who dress scantily. Just something I have observed. Some of the body builder types& like to wear tight tops but it still covers their actual flesh and leaves something to the imagination at least. " Some men do, a lot don't.& Like I said, it all depends on what men perceive as highly valued traits in the eyes of women.& It really extends far beyond clothing as well.& Women roll their eyes at the way men are obsessed with their penises, but a lot of men honestly believe that the size/shape of their penis is a large factor in whether a woman finds them desireable.& It's the same reason that a lot of women get breast implants.& If men thought that wearing clown shoes and mashing food in their hair was a surefire way to get women, they would do it. " If men stopped looking at women as sexual objects and eye candy, maybe women would stop feeling like they had to act like one same as if women stopped looking for guys just because they have money muscles& or success, guys wouldn't have to try and use those to get the attention of women. " Most men don't see women as sexual objects.& If you recall a thread I posted a while back with a series of videos with the former director of the Kinsey Institute, one of the videos mentions a study in which it was revealed that most valued physical trait men found in women was the face, and that the most important thing men saw in a relationship was that the woman liked him. Men are indeed attracted to women in a physical sense, and they should be (provided they are hetero, of course).& But just because a man enjoys a woman's body doesn't mean he can't see beyond it.& Yes, there are some men who are purely into chasing tail, but the majority of the anxiety men deal with in relationships relates somehow to whether or not they are fulfilling the needs of their partner, at least in the early stages of relationships. The biggest and worst offenders in the misinformation of both sexes are the media for the respective genders.& Men's and women's magazines running article after article about how to do what to who and when, blah blah blah.& Most of those magazines, though, are made by the same gender as their readership.& How many women's magazines are written and edited by men?& Few to none.& The same applies to men's magazines.& I hear guys talking about Maxim and girls talking about Cosmo, but in most cases those magazines just perpetuate myths and spread speculation.& They are hardly authorities in the truth. " It's funny how it is probably the minority in both sexes that really& desire these shallow attributes but yet this can cause a much higher percentage of the opposite sex to try and sucker up to it. " Yes and no.& I have serious doubts about the honesty of any man that tells you that he isn't attracted to a sexy woman flaunting her body.& So in that respect, there is some rationale behind the behavior.& However, this is behavior that most men value from a distance.& They are good traits to target when you are first getting noticed, but for most people you have to have something more to support it.& Flaunting your good looks is a great way to grab a man's attention, but it is a horrible way to keep it. | 2007-01-02 20:17:08 |
| 354 | 3482 | The magazine I was talking about had guys working on it's team. There was one in particular who used to have his own articles in there every week and readers could write into him about stuff and ask his opinion. Yes, his opinion was just one out of all the existing blokes on this planet but he was still a bloke. If you read in the clitoris.com about the siblings who were brought up& in a family that practised nudism, in there , the woman who sent it in says that her brother isn't interested in seeing female strippers like his mates and doesn't get all excited about seeing women wearing scanty clothing. Maybe it's because he doesn't automatically see the female body as being sexual 100% of the time. The reason most guys look at our bodies that way is because they never see them, they are novelties and the only time they are exposed is in a sexual context which means the body automatically has a purely& sexual stigma attached to it. After all, the bodies of both sexes have far more uses than sex. In fact, sex is a& tiny role for women compared to pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and simple everyday maintaining of themself like eating, breathing, moving around etc....Sex is just as important where procreation is concerned no doubt but it is no more important than any of the other jobs mentioned. Look at tribes people where both sexes might wear next to nothing. Do you get the men drooling all over at the site of a woman walking by with breasts showing? They don't bat an eyelid but yet they still obviously engage in sex in order to procreate. Yes, this might seems contradictory to what I have been saying about showing too much flesh but the difference here is the contaxt in which is is shown. Women in our society show it purely to get sexual attention and so they are feeding into the notion that the human body is a sex object only and is treated as such hence it being illegal to expose yourself in public because it offends etc...Another contradiction eh? The reason that guys act like this about womens bodies isn't a natural reason otherwise I think tribes women would be covering up a bit more wouldn't they? Why, when the body is used more for so many other things is it exclusively treated as a sexual object? We brought about this problem ourselves but can you ever see us getting out of it again? I doubt it now. Still, you'd think by now that, even though most people roll their eyes at these shallow ways of getting attention and after hearing, reading that the opposite sex isn't really impressed by it after all, they'd cotton on and start doing things a bit differently. | 2007-01-03 10:10:08 |
| 354 | 3492 | That guy says that he would like to get his relationship, with his daughter, back to the way it used to be. First he has to stop looking at her like a piece of meat. He never did that way back when. Then he has to allow her to massage his feet, sit in his lap , cuddle and wrestle with him. I'm pretty sure, when he does that, everything will work out very well for him. Trust me. | 2007-01-04 19:50:23 |
| 354 | 3503 | I think thats why he wrote in because he didn't want to look at her as being sexually attractive to him. He obviously feels wrong in doing it but it's not so easy that you can& press a button and switch these things off instantly. You can just& try not to feel something but it never works does it? In some cases, you can avoid the cause of these feelings but if you are a father and it's your daughter causing it, you can't exactly avoid her can you? Thats why people have to come up with ideas as to how he can manage for the time being and help these feelings to go away in the process. He knows he needs to stop these feelings he's having but he just needs to know how. The reason he didn't look at her that way years back was because she was a little girl with a little girls body. A little girls body is not designed by nature to be sexually attractive to adult males. It is now that she is developing attributes that& are designed to attract adult& males that he is feeling this. That does make all the difference. | 2007-01-05 08:55:27 |
| 357 | 2084 | So my girlfriend and I was having sex. Since she claims that she never had an orgasm, I was quite amazed when we during sex suddenly experienced a lot of vaginal ehm wetness. Seemed to me that she was actually ejaculating, and when I smelled the substance, it also smelled similar to what Ive experienced in earlier relationships. I look down, and surely, bed is ALL wet, and I am 100% sure that this is not urine . The kind of ejaculation liquid or whatever its called that I have experienced have a very distinct smell to me, and this was it! (I know some people claims its urine, however the smell and taste is very different imho) So afterwards when we talk about what happened, she tells me that this isnt the first time that this happened. That she feels very excited when it happends, but that she doesnt consider this an orgasm ... or what she think an orgasm would be like. Heck, I am not the one to tell a woman if she had an orgasm or not... and its not like its an objective that would change anything in our sex life (I think)... I was just wondering if she& could be experiencing orgasms although theyre not as strong as she seems to believe they should be? Is ejaculation necessarily part of the orgasm or could it just as well be a pre-state, or even without any connection to the actual orgasm? Just wondering - thanks in advance. | 2006-07-26 06:30:19 |
| 357 | 2089 | Hi, Some women do experience female ejaculation without experiencing orgasm. Any contraction or tension in the pelvic muscles may expel the fluid. In their writings girls and women will mention they have or have not cum, i.e. ejaculated, which is different from them saying they have experienced orgasm. It can be confusing to know what they are meaning. Some feel they should "cum" just like a man, do to the pressure they feel to experience female ejaculation. "All the other girls are!" Kind of like all the other girls are experiencing orgasm too. Some women reportedly do experience orgasm without knowing it, according to Betty Dodson. Brad | 2006-07-26 09:13:13 |
| 357 | 2103 | Aye, that is indeed an interesting thought.& The more I think about it, it could actually be the case. She describes that she gets a peeing sensation and then after that ejaculates ... but cant move on from there. So actually her interpretation of this is that the sensation from the ejaculation keeps her from getting "the rest" of the orgasm eh. While this might be the actual orgasm she is experiencing, and the anti-climacs that, for some women, follows. Maybe there is nothing I can do to literally learn which is the case. However, this leads me to believe that I maybe shouldnt think of our sex-life as preorgasmic. But instead look into the evolvement of a possible multiorgasmic perspective... | 2006-07-26 16:09:31 |
| 357 | 2104 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: " In their writings girls and women will mention they have or have not cum, i.e. ejaculated, which is different from them saying they have experienced orgasm. It can be confusing to know what they are meaning. Some feel they should "cum" just like a man, do to the pressure they feel to experience female ejaculation. "All the other girls are!" Kind of like all the other girls are experiencing orgasm too. " I have to question that.& If there is any pressure to do so, it more likely comes from the man than from other women, and even then I think this is a very recent phenomenon. I took a class on human sexuality in college and we touched on the subject of female ejaculation (we even watched a clinical video of it).& One of the main points of the discussion is that most people (both men and women) do NOT know about female ejaculation.& The great majority of women who experience it (the entire population of which is a minority among women as a whole) think that the fluid is urine, or that they have done something else that is "wrong" to cause this to happen.& A lot of women who experience this feel ashamed and never speak of it, and as a result remain ignorant of what they are experiencing. The thing that concerns me about female ejaculation is the way in which it has become a fad.& In the last few years, female ejaculation has been highly promoted in amatuer/internet porn.& Of course, porn is not real (with occasional exceptions), but this doesn't seem to register with a lot of people.& This concept of the female ejaculation has become strongly tied with the female orgasm among the porn-viewing population, despite the fact that it is generally faked in porn.& If you combine this association with the well-established male obsession with making a woman orgasm, you can start to guess where this pressure to ejaculate might come from.& I have no trouble imagining that a lot of men see this porn, and then obsess about getting their own women to mimick this behavior.& They don't understand that the porn actresses are faking it (as they fake everything else), and as a result there is a huge amount of pressure on the woman to ejaculate. Female ejaculation is real, but it isn't something that all women can do.& Even those who can ejaculate can't just turn it on or off like a faucet, ejaculating every time a man touches them. Anyhow, that was a long-winded response to Brad's comment.& To address Linus' second comment, I will just reiterate a point that is made on these forums on a very frequent basis.& Orgasm should not be the focus of sex, especially concerning a woman.& I'm sure you have heard some form of the old saying espousing the importance of the journey over the destination. When you focus on orgasm, you focus on the destination.& Sex is the journey.& Yes, orgasm is a wonderful thing, but women especially do not require an orgasm from every sexual encounter to have a good sexual experience.& That's something that we men don't readily grasp since orgasm comes so easily for us.& It doesn't really matter if this apparent ejaculation is related or unrelated to orgasm as long as she finds the experience pleasurable. | 2006-07-26 17:48:45 |
| 357 | 2134 | Well, I kinda get where you are going with that journey vs. goal thing. However I dont quite agree that the one rules out the other. Especially because this isnt as much an obsession of mine, as it is and& have been an obsession of hers. However, Orgasm on her part isnt a goal for me personally. My goal is much more extensive than that, and not conditioned whether or not this will ever happen. And furthermore this journey wont end if she should ever get an orgasm. Because this is basically just about making ones sex life joyfull, lustfull and something that doesnt just vanish over time. Diminishes into nothing along the dangerous path of partnership. Hopefully it should be something that becomes stronger and better with time, as I believe many or maybe most sex-lifes are. But it wont happend without involvement, work and talk. You have to put something into it if you wish for it to flower. And lastly, you have to understand, to a sudden point, what is actually going on between you and your& partner. Most answers should be found between the two persons in the relationship. However, as this forum surely emphasize, many answers is just as easily sought and found elsewhere. | 2006-07-27 14:48:58 |
| 358 | 2110 | my boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months, and we are really happy with each other. We have talked about sex, and what would happen if an accident was to happen, so we are very prepared for any kind of consequence, if pregnancy should occur. My question is this, what are the chances of getting pregnant if the condom we use doesn't break, rip, tear, or have any holes in them? I've been reading everything I can about them, and I've read that with perfect use, 3 out of 100 women will get pregnant every year. I also read that in the US, condoms are throughly tested for breakage, durability, and leaking. I make sure that he pulls out before he gets soft, and before we do it, I put my hand over the condom to smooth out any possible air bubbles. After sex, he takes it off and checks to see if there is any semen leaking, and so far, we've been lucky. Also, does using spermicidal condoms lower the chance of getting pregnant, as opposed to regular ones? Thank is advance :) | 2006-07-27 11:54:34 |
| 358 | 2132 | well, the generally accepted number for condom reliability is around 97% if it is always used properly and never breaks.& in reality the number is always lower than that, someone in the mid-80% range I believe.& Also, not all condoms are created equally.& He should use a quality brand like Trojan, not the cheap novelty condoms you find at various places. The safest method aside from abstinence is to stack up on birth control. Before I say more, let me say that you should NEVER NEVER NEVER use more than one condom at a time as it increases their chance to break.& Anyhow, the most statistically favorable method of preventing pregnancy is for both partners to use a barrier and a chemical method, and for the woman to be on the pill.& What that means is that he should ALWAYS& use a high quality spermicidal condom (one with nonoxynol-9).& In addition, you should use a feminine form of birth control like a diaphragm or a sponge along with spermicidal jelly, and you should be on the pill.& The pill, when taken properly, is the most reliable form of birth control.& There are other forms of hormonal birth control like depo-provera that work the same as the pill, but those can get pretty expensive.& Using all of these things properly at the same time, you have a statistical chance of 0.000002% to get pregnant (using the industry standard reliability figures for each form of birth control).& However, those numbers come from lab tests, and real life numbers are significantly higher since people always screw something up.& But using multiple forms of birth control is still your safest bet. | 2006-07-27 14:48:24 |
| 358 | 2136 | Easier said than done. I have no health insurance, or money either, since I lost my job, so the pill, shots, patch, diaphragm, and everything else is out of the question. I can't afford any of that except condoms, and of course, spermicide. And plus, I'm really prone to UTI's, so things like diapragm, cervical cap, or anything else that has to sits in the vagina can aggrevate it, and it's not fun. Don't worry about me using 2 condoms at a time, because it can cause the condom to break and tear, and I'm not about to use the female condom anytime soon. (Using a male and female condom doesn't work, I've read) I also don't have to worry about condoms breaking, we make sure it goes on properly every time, and we use lube, and we smooth out any air bubbles, make sure there's enough room at the tip, etc, we make sure that we use it properly and effectively. I read that spermicide, along with condoms, has an efectiveness of 99.9% with perfect use, so I think we're going to try that. My boyfriend and I love each other very much, so every time we do it, we really make sure that there are no problems with the condom and such, we always check for leaks and holes, but i still can't help but wonder why 3 out of 100 women get pregnant... My mom is also a nurse, and I've had plenty of sex ed in high school and middle school, so there's basically nothing I don't know. I just want to improve my chances of not getting pregnant :) | 2006-07-27 14:56:43 |
| 358 | 2137 | My boyfriend and I use spermicide condoms and I have no complaints about them at all.& One thing though, it says to only use one a day.& So if you decide to go for round two, a different type of condom may be needed. Some pregnancies just happen.& There might have been a microscopical hole where the little sperm seeped through.& Or the condom could have slipped off the penis without knowledge and he could have ejaculated thinking it was on.& Having sex with a condom not always is a 100% gaurantee, plus, you have to watch the days you're the most fertile.& | 2006-07-27 15:01:01 |
| 358 | 2140 | I agree, abstaining from sex is the only fool proof way to not get pregnant. So far, we haven't had any slips, tears, leaks, or breaks (we always check), but I still can't help but worry. My boyfriend is going away on vacation for a week, so after he comes back, I'm going to get him to buy spermicide, it's 99.9 percent effective with perfect use, and yeah, I heard that some companies are stopping spermicidal condoms because nonoxynol-9 can cause an increased risk getting HIV, plus, it can irritate the vagina if used too much. we don't have sex more than once at a time, and we only see each other twice a week anyways, so it's not like we're doing it every day, so I wouldn't use it more than once a day. Don't they test condoms for holes though before they package them? (I use Trojan condoms) | 2006-07-27 15:07:43 |
| 358 | 2143 | Hi. If every one used condoms correctly then 2 in 100 women using them for a year would become pregnant. In actual use many do not use them correctly so the rate of pregnancy is more like 15 out 100 users. The simple truth of the matter is that if a woman or couple cannot risk pregnancy they shouldn't be engaging in intercourse, and other sexual activities where a penis or sperms comes in contact with a woman vulva, vagina, and upper thighs. Getting pregnant is no difficult, not becoming pregnant is the hard part, as is not contracting an STI. More on condoms here: www.plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/medicalinfo/birthcontrol/pub-condom.xml Brad | 2006-07-27 16:21:25 |
| 358 | 2145 | I've read all about them. I know pretty much everything about it, and their effectiveness.... I appreciate it all the same though. I'm not saying I'm pregnant, or anything like that, I'm just wondering if it's possible to still get pregnant if there are no leaks, rips, tears, or holes at all. And if I combine it with spermicide, only 1 out of 100 women a year will get pregnant, or less. | 2006-07-27 16:28:58 |
| 358 | 2152 | Just because you put the condom on right doesn't mean it can't break during sex.& Condoms can also have microscopic holes& that you can't do anything about.& The problem with condoms is even though you may do everything properly before sex, anything can happen during sex.& The condom might slip a bit during sex or if it breaks, you don't notice it, or even if you do notice it, it only takes an instant for sperm to get into the vagina. | 2006-07-27 17:44:30 |
| 358 | 2153 | yeah, but if it hasn't broken, spilled, slipped off, been torn, and has no leaks, what would the chances of getting pregnant be? | 2006-07-27 17:52:28 |
| 358 | 2157 | Hi, They are more likely to break if extra lubrication isn't used, or the wrong type of lubricant is used. They recommend using pre-lubricated condoms, those that are& lubricated on the inside and outside. I would guess at the 2 out of 100 mentioned for everything being otherwise perfect. If nothing you mentioned goes wrong then the risk should be zero. Going into a sexual experience you don't know if everything will go perfectly. Brad | 2006-07-27 20:36:40 |
| 358 | 2158 | You are basically asking what are the chances of getting pregnant if the condom doesn't fail.& If the condom doesn't fail, you don't get pregnant, plain and simple. However, in the real world, even people who follow all the instructions have condoms fail on them.& This is where those 2-3% of pregnancies come from.& Those 2-3% don't come from the people who mess up, they come from people who do everything right and something still goes wrong with the condom.& There is a difference between asking what your chances of getting pregnant are if you use the condom properly, and asking what your chances of getting pregnant are if the condom works properly. | 2006-07-27 20:51:59 |
| 358 | 2161 | They do test the condoms to make sure they are up to par, but there's always a chance it could come packaged broken. My one cousin told me that when she was going to have sex, she took the condom out of the wrapping, and at the tip she said it didn't look right, so she further examined it and turns out there were three holes in the tip of the condom.& Luckily she looked at it before she put it on her boyfriend. | 2006-07-27 22:38:31 |
| 361 | 2113 | i dont know...im just so confused...im still a virgin me and my ex just had fun for his part i guess....he was on top of me and goind up and down(grinding i think) but we still had our cloths on....and now ever since then my stomachs been hurting like crazy...any one know whats wrong? | 2006-07-27 12:12:07 |
| 361 | 2114 | maybe having him on top of you is what is causing your stomach to hurt. mine hurt after the first time I had sex, for 2 days...it felt like I had period cramps or something. (But I think that's because I was being penetrated...) try using a heating pad and see if that helps :) | 2006-07-27 12:14:25 |
| 361 | 2115 | my stomachs been cramping for like the past 4 days now and it hurts so much and i cant be pregnant because its not possible(i think) and like he wasnt on top of me all the time...but idk it hurts alot | 2006-07-27 12:18:47 |
| 361 | 2116 | since you mentioned that you both had your clothes on, then most likely, the stomach pain is being cause by something else. you should try going to your General Practitioner to find out what the cause is. | 2006-07-27 12:23:18 |
| 361 | 2117 | i called my docotor to make an appt. and hes on vac. and wont be back for another 2weeks and i cant take the pain and i know i wont be able to for another 2weeks | 2006-07-27 12:39:57 |
| 361 | 2118 | can u get pregnant by humping?(with cloths on) | 2006-07-27 13:11:07 |
| 361 | 2119 | nope. the only way for you to get pregnant is if he ejaculated inside of you, or if his semen came in contact with your vagina :) | 2006-07-27 13:19:58 |
| 361 | 2120 | but how do u know if the semen came in contact with your vagina? | 2006-07-27 13:25:17 |
| 361 | 2121 | you would know. for one, he would have had to have his pants pulled down and aimed toward your vagina.& You would also have seen liquid coming out of his penis. But you said you both had your clothes on, so I really wouldn't worry. | 2006-07-27 13:29:32 |
| 361 | 2122 | yeah but i dont understand why my lower belly hurts and why it feels so hard | 2006-07-27 13:37:33 |
| 361 | 2123 | maybe you have a kidney or gall stone...that's also possible. your doctor will know for sure what's happening, but if you really can't stand the pain, I reccomend that you go to the ER. | 2006-07-27 13:39:13 |
| 361 | 2124 | it cant be kidney stones b/c wouldnt that mean it would hurt towards my back? | 2006-07-27 13:48:42 |
| 361 | 2125 | yeah, thats true. but it could mean something like appendicitis or something else.... | 2006-07-27 13:50:03 |
| 361 | 2126 | i had my appendicitis removed last summer | 2006-07-27 13:56:24 |
| 361 | 2131 | it could be a hernia as well | 2006-07-27 14:32:26 |
| 361 | 2141 | whats that? | 2006-07-27 15:28:05 |
| 361 | 2142 | its a rupture in the abdominal wall, typically below the navel, where a section of your intestines have pushed through the hole and is directly under your skin.& it's supposed to be incredibly painful, and you can get it from all kinds of different physical exertion.& it might feel like cramps because I believe they only really hurt when you move. If you feel an odd bump on your stomach where it hurts, you might have a hernia. Other than that, it could be gall stones, some other infection in the lower abdomen, or a pulled or bruised abdominal muscle.& In any case, if the pain gets too bad, you should go to the emergency room and not wait for your normal doctor. | 2006-07-27 16:07:48 |
| 361 | 2144 | WRONG Penetration is not required for pregnancy to occur. Virgins become pregnant too. If sperm comes in contact with your vulva or inner thighs pregnancy is possible. Based on what she has described it sounds like she needs to see a doctor now. Brad | 2006-07-27 16:27:23 |
| 361 | 2146 | thats why I said, either you would have to be penetrated, or semen would have to come in contact with the vagina some how. you can just get pregnant by having semen on your fingers and then touching yourself, but the chances of that are so low, since semen die within a half hour to 4 hours when exposed to air, also, the vagina is highly acidic, however, no matter what, there is always a chance of pregnancy, and besides, if it was only 4 days later, you wouldnt feel anything hard in your stomach...it's definetly something else that's wrong. | 2006-07-27 16:33:27 |
| 361 | 2148 | Hi, You are incorrectly referring to the vulva as the vagina, which is why I made the correction. Brad | 2006-07-27 16:52:33 |
| 361 | 2149 | But this girl was just grinding, and they both had their clothes on.& The odds of semen getting through his clothes and inside her clothes are incredibly slim.& She should see a doctor because of the pain, but I highly doubt she could be pregnant. | 2006-07-27 17:36:07 |
| 361 | 2279 | my stomach doesnt hurt anymore but my lower stomach is just really hard | 2006-08-01 09:07:17 |
| 361 | 2285 | Go to the doctor. | 2006-08-01 22:32:41 |
| 361 | 2321 | Gtz, I have a lot of stomach problems (trust me, I've been to a doctor, had 2 ultrasounds, blood tests... They can not find anything wrong besides a tiny raised amount of lipase in my blood.) This unknown stomach problem involves sharp pain, almost like when you move your foot wrong and get a nasty cramp in your arch. It occurs in multiple places... Sometimes in my lower stomach, where my ovaries are (a primary concern of my doctor) and sometimes near my lungs. The reason I'm telling you this is that I first discovored this pain while sexually aroused. We were grinding, as you were, and I had to get off of him and pretty much collapse and said "Something is wrong, we need to stop, NOW." (scared the hell out of him, I assure you.) I had this still pulsing pain for nearly 20 minutes. Then a dull pain for a few hours. It was bad enough that I considered having him run me to the emergancy room. I thought something had burst. It happened again 2 weeks later, during the same activity. After awhile, it occured to me that it was a mix of two things - Sexual arousal, and physical exersion. When you're aroused, your insides move around a bit... This extra pressure made things sensitive. Then, if aroused, as soon as any pressure is applied to my tummy area (like if you're, you know, doin' it) it turned to searing pain. The pain also occured if I went jogging or things like that. It might very well be a similar problem to mine, and you simply discovored it during grinding. I'd suggest going to a doctor, just to make sure it isn't something serious. (my doctor was worried there was a tumor or something in my ovary or uterous) If you find out what it is, tell me, 'cause we still have no clue what it is! (... Before you feel sorry for me, it doesn't happen ALL the time... ^_^ Just occasionally, maybe every few weeks nowadays. I still get plenty of good fun.) | 2006-08-06 23:17:44 |
| 361 | 2373 | A painful and hard lower abdomen could be the result of constipation. This can happen for a lot of people with or without dietary or activity problems. Some people when sexually aroused can cause the colon to spasm inadvertently which can slow things up tremendously - gas and stool both, ouch! The family practice residents I have worked with have been doing an informal study on the effects of simple measures to take care of gut spasms (otherwise known as irritable bowel syndrome or IBS). Patients have been asked to take fiber supplements (the generic psyllium fiber is just as good as the brand name). Most patients take fiber capsules if they have no problems swallowing pills. Their patients have taken 6 capsules (considered one dose) every morning relatively without fail, and the patients/physicians are reporting/documenting a reduction as high as 80 percent of irritable bowel symptoms (pain, cramping, diarrhea and/or constipation). The side benefit they are also finding is that this simple regimen also reduces blood fats (lipids) also known as cholesterol and triglycerides. One patient in particular had a total cholesterol level of 210 and after 6 months of fiber capsule therapy, her number dropped to 150! She ended up with no more problems with her BMs. (As a side note, she said that having sex was enjoyable again because she didn't have the spasming in her gut.) So if you can make your gut happy, other good things may be "happy" too! BTW: A person can take the fiber regimen up to 3 times a day if that is what is needed. just an idea..... | 2006-08-13 12:47:37 |
| 366 | 2150 | :shock:& OMG! I desperately need advice IN A HURRY! I have a& really small vibrator and I inserted it in my vagina and& squeezed my legs and thighs and was having a nice little time and suddenly I felt it go farther in -- and it slipped on further and now I can't reach itt to get it out! the batteries are about to run down, I can TELL, but I can't seem to reach in to get it out, when I try, it goes a little farther and a little farther in. I am horrified at the thought of having to go to the doctor to try to get this removed! And my husband is planning a romantic evening tonight -- he won't & be home for& a few hours but I was hoping to have the situation cleared up before he comes in! Im' so embarrassed! & Would it hurt anything to& engage in intercourse with him if it's still in there?& How far can it go? I have no uterus -- where does it go if it goes even farther? Could it work its way out on its own? Is there any way I might help it along? Too bad I don't have a speculum and dilator :-&& at home. I have one at the office where I work tomorrow but I don't know how I could get time to work on myself! My good friend who i s a nurse practicioner won't be working tomorrow& or I know she would and& she could help me out. but that's tomrrow and what do I do tonight????? & HELP!!!!!!:shock::X:-& hottie | 2006-07-27 17:41:43 |
| 366 | 2155 | Hi, It cannot go very far, at most about 3 inches. So you should be able to feel it with your fingers. Doctors would have closed any opening into your pelvic cavity when your uterus was removed. You might try squatting down with your legs spread and squeezing your stomach muscles while reaching inside with a couple fingers. Your husband may/shoould also be able to reach it with his fingers. I would not recommend intercourse with this object inside your vagina. He should get a laugh out of it. :cool: During sex with a partner I slipped a Pocket Rocket inside and she wasn't able to pull it out, so I had to, and there was a bit of suction holding it inside. :P Brad | 2006-07-27 20:29:06 |
| 366 | 2156 | GOOOOOOD& newS!:D the jets on the jacuzzi tub did the trick!!! and felt pretty delightful in the process& --& the forceful irrigation from the jacuzzi jet into the vagina (lips spread open) for about 5 minutes popped the small vibrator right out!& ooops, it actually only took about 2 minutes to get the device out and another reward for all the stress i endured in my panic. only big big dildos and vibrators in this vagina from now on. & now i think i deserve to get my own rocks off until my spouse gets off work and arrives home... hot & happy>:) | 2006-07-27 20:30:49 |
| 366 | 2159 | it was frustrating b/c i could feel it with my fingers but it was slippery and very elusive :D it's not funny yet, but after a while i think i might be more amused...once all the panic subsides!:?& | 2006-07-27 20:53:21 |
| 366 | 2160 | I've had the same thing happen to my before.& Since this new toy I bought, the stupid batteries would not last that long, so I took the part off and shoved it onto my vibrator, so I started having fun, and then I felt a great deal of pain and pulled my toy out, and then realized, the one part was still in me.& I nearly cried!& I first calmed myself down, and then relaxed my muscles, went in and pulled it out.& The toy was really suctioned in there too.& I'm glad to hear you got it out! :) | 2006-07-27 22:33:39 |
| 366 | 2165 | it was a major relief to get it out! i was too embarrassed to tell my husband at first but told him this afternoon and all he could do is shake his head and tell me he was glad i figured it out and didn't tell him right away because he might have been laughing too hard to do any good on our romantic evening!& :P& and he told me to just be sure i use my big vibrator or dildo that have good size bases and can't get lost because his fingers are not any longer than mine and his hands are much thicker so he couldn't have helped me in my search& for the lost object!& :shock: i'm still a little embarrassed but it's getting to be a bit more comical the more we have talked about it. hottie>:) | 2006-07-28 15:51:44 |
| 366 | 2166 | hahaha yeah! If it does ever happen to anyone else on this board, or you, or me. We all just need to remember, relax, don't panic, it's not going to be lost in your body forever, for what must go in, must come out eventually.& | 2006-07-28 16:09:32 |
| 367 | 2162 | Is female& what expells& out of vigina& very similar to what male ejaculates?As far as I know ,they are both sticky,and very similar in corlour. | 2006-07-28 04:05:29 |
| 367 | 2164 | Hi, Please see the page about female ejaculation on the main website for the information you seek: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm Brad | 2006-07-28 13:57:31 |
| 367 | 2171 | you should really make a stickied post about this topic.& the constant new posts about the same old topic are starting to get annoying.& there is a link to this site on the wikipedia page about female ejaculation, and I think that's why we keep getting questions about this topic every few days lately. | 2006-07-29 05:52:52 |
| 367 | 2172 | Hi, I realized after my last post that you may not know what vaginal lubrication is like. The following photo shows lubrication flowing from the vagina. Brad | 2006-07-29 09:13:51 |
| 367 | 2174 | I must thank you for offering me that photo,brad.it vividly told me all.Now I have formed the clear conception. | 2006-07-29 12:20:02 |
| 367 | 3952 | Do femalea ejaculate through the Urethal Orifice in the same way as male ejaculation or does it come by way of the vagina& | 2007-03-30 06:25:46 |
| 367 | 3954 | Please see the article about female ejaculation linked to above. | 2007-03-30 10:05:01 |
| 368 | 2168 | I am just wondering, I have notice that I am loving to watch porn even when I am by myself. I remember hating porn when I got married; and as the years go on ... I went from hating porn ... to just not caring for porn ... to enjoying& 'em at certain time wih my hubby ... to really enjoying it when he is watching it with me .... to now, where I just love to watch porn by myself. I don't watch em often ... but I found myself really enjoying em. not just the "soft" stuff but the hard stuff too. Now, I don 't watch em everyday but I am watching it like maybe twice a month and reading penthouse's letters once a month. I am 41 now and I would really like to hear from others bout this topic. Thanks | 2006-07-28 22:25:35 |
| 368 | 2170 | First let me say that 41 isn't all that old. But, I suppose that the older you get, the more you start to rely on your own experience rather than what you were taught as a child.& At least, some people do... others hold on to those ideals all their life and never grow.& But really, women are expected by society to hate porn because it would mean showing a personal interest in sex.& In our puritanical society, women are supposed to willingly engage in sex to please their husbands, not to enjoy it themselves.& Girls are taught that boys are wicked and girls should be pure.& So in your case I think that you are breaking out of the sexual dependence on a man that you were conditioned into. Or I could be way off base and pulling stuff out of my ass :D& I really made a lot of inferences there. Either way, porn is a good way to vent the hormones.& Good for you for knowing and doing what you like. | 2006-07-29 05:50:16 |
| 368 | 2852 | [user=631]donna6503[/user] wrote: | 2006-09-27 07:49:36 |
| 368 | 2855 | Hi..welcome to the club lol...I love it too as a prelude to masturbation but I enjoy watching short clips on the internet and buid up the moment ....you're not alone Luisa | 2006-09-27 10:42:26 |
| 368 | 2860 | my 50something-old battleship of a sociology professor mentioned her penchant for porn every now and then during class lecture. | 2006-09-28 00:22:42 |
| 368 | 2862 | Donna I am soooo pleased to see a woman who has taken to porn.& I like it to help me get going when i masturbate.& I thought it was a boy thing (I am 50) so maybe I should say man.& & I say go for it as long as you can be there for your man... | 2006-09-28 00:40:59 |
| 368 | 2865 | [user=851]jessee[/user] wrote: "Donna " | 2006-09-28 07:31:19 |
| 368 | 6569 | In my younger days, viewing porn meant going to a video store and renting it, or going to a sleazy movie theatre in the bad part of town, or ordering the stuff in the mail and risking having the mailman or neighbours find out. The Internet and broadband have made it possible for women to view porn in their bedrooms and home offices. Once porn can be viewed without risking embarrassment, a fair number of women viewers will quietly materialize. This is not all good, because women are acquiring new insecurities about pubic hair, clit and labia size, and more. (I am happy to report that the fetishization of the breasts has declined.) Porn has normalized getting squirted in the face by semen. This is tacky and silly, and not sexy at all. Hard core pushes anal, which can be quite unsafe. Porn rarely shows condoms in use, which sets a bad example. Still, I think it possible that one day women over 40 or 50 will be bigger porn watchers than men of the same age. Porn can be tacky, and made by sleazy men who take advantage of their actors, don't give a fig about plot and character development, and sold to warped men and teenage boys. But the importance of women directors and owners in the adult film industry has steadily grown. And more and more I sense that when a woman appears nude on camera, she is saying "I am woman -- hear me roar." And the roaring has been slowly growing louder. The gradual decline, since 1920 or so, in women's embarrassment about their bodies is one of the signal facts or our era. | 2009-04-06 01:50:01 |
| 368 | 6634 | Hi Donna! Be assured you are very normal. I have known& a number of& mature& female friends very intimately and many of them shared& their love of viewing all kinds of porn both prior to and during masturbation, That willingness to share is just one of the things that makes 40+ females even more attractive to me. | 2009-05-11 08:06:39 |
| 369 | 2180 | Many vigins masturbates regularly,and some of them stick their fingers into viginas to add stimulation,I know that.But can a vigin rubs her viginal wall without breaking her hymen?Some women said the deeper parts of the vigina are more sensitive,but others said the outer parts are more comfortabe,the truth is which? | 2006-07-29 14:13:04 |
| 369 | 2183 | I did when I was little.& My hymen broke from hitting the curb with my bike, ouch! Gosh, just thinking about it makes me hurt down there! | 2006-07-29 15:54:48 |
| 369 | 2187 | LOL, that reminds me of the couple of occasions where my feet slipped off my pedals and my crotch landed very hard on the cross bar.......*Cringe*.....Man, that hurt. I just stopped dead and glared into nothingness for several minutes when that happened.:D& I saw a young boy do it on his bike yesterday.....LOL.....he looked in pain too...it brought back lovely memories...:P Anyway, I haven't had IC because I have vaginismus and I know that dilating (Using vaginal trainers etc...), can gradually stretch and wear away the hymen so I'm sure this can happen when masturbating too. It just goes to& show that not having an intact hymen is NOT& proof a woman engaged in IC. As for the most sensitive part. Well, for me, the area where I feel more is nearer the entrance where the PC muscles are. After that, it feels pretty numb, I can just feel pressure, not touch so to speak. It can be painful if your cervix it hit though. & | 2006-07-29 19:51:04 |
| 369 | 2216 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: ":D& I saw a young boy do it on his bike yesterday.....LOL.....he looked in pain too...it brought back lovely memories...:P" That reminds me when I was helping a family friend's daughter with her violin, her little brother kept running and jumping over the baby gates in the doorways.& At one time, he ran jumped and then landed on his butt, and I think he must have knocked his testes because he grabbed himself and screamed.& :shock: I really felt bad for him.& He then went running off crying to his mom and told her how he jumped, landed, and then now that his crotch hurt. | 2006-07-31 00:02:25 |
| 369 | 2252 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "[user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: ":D& I saw a young boy do it on his bike yesterday.....LOL.....he looked in pain too...it brought back lovely memories...:P" That reminds me when I was helping a family friend's daughter with her violin, her little brother kept running and jumping over the baby gates in the doorways.& At one time, he ran jumped and then landed on his butt, and I think he must have knocked his testes because he grabbed himself and screamed.& :shock: I really felt bad for him.& He then went running off crying to his mom and told her how he jumped, landed, and then now that his crotch hurt. "Yeah, even the slightest knock in the wrong fashion can cause nauseating pain. | 2006-07-31 13:39:25 |
| 369 | 2260 | Yeah but we are made to believe only guys hurt when knocked down there. When my crotch slammed onto that cross bar, the pain was unbearable. I was on my own when it happened, in the street. I didn't cry, it hurt too much. I just stood there still on the bike and stared with eyes wide open for a few minutes until the pain subsided. Another time, at school, in a PE lesson, a classmate and I were paired together and she attempted a trick of doing a rolley poley between my legs as I stood with feet planted apart& and her heals hit my mons pubis. It hurt so much, my eyes streamed even though I didn't actually cry. The teacher thought it was amusing. I didn't let her try that trick again. Sheesh, just recalling it makes my eyes want to run. & & | 2006-07-31 17:09:39 |
| 369 | 2263 | I believe it hurts women badly too, but I think the idea is that since male genitalia are external, while female genitalia are more protected, its easier for a man to be hit in such a way to cause that extreme pain. | 2006-07-31 18:22:43 |
| 369 | 2265 | Hi, If you crush a woman's clitoris against her pubic bone she will be in quite a bit of pain. One study using ultrasound, I believe, found anomalies in the clitoris of some women and they found all those women recall painful blunt force trauma to their vulva in the past. I mention this on the website somewhere, but even I can't remember everything that is on it anymore. :-O Makes you wonder how many gymnasts have impaired genital sensation as a result of straddle injuries on the balance beam. Brad | 2006-07-31 21:08:17 |
| 371 | 2182 | Do you moan at orgasm,and why? | 2006-07-29 14:55:45 |
| 371 | 2184 | Yes, I do.& Why? Because when I orgasm, it feels so darn good it needs some noise to show how fantastic it feels.& My boyfriend can see my scruntch face which shows how it feels, but moaning makes me feel better.& I actually heard someone say that moaning and making noise supposedly makes it better.& But keep in mind, don't go crazy with moaning that you sound fake. Just do what makes you feel good. | 2006-07-29 15:58:04 |
| 371 | 2185 | Moan, scream, shout -- all depends on where I am and who else is there. I mostly moan with my partner, sometimes scream if we're alone in the house with no kids around. When I masturbate, if I have all the privacy in the world, I moan as it builds, usually scream and shout when it's one of those earth shattering can't stand to let the chance to make noise go to waste. >:) My husband usually moans when he is cumming. However, when I suck him off and suck the cum out of him and swallow it while he is deep in my throat, he does moan and scream if circumstances permit the louder noises. :dude: hottie & | 2006-07-29 17:16:54 |
| 371 | 2188 | Yes (moan loud and sometimes screamif it is very intense)... I wouldn't know the reason , for me it just happens.& I usually am not thinking about it and sometimes afterwards I feel slightly embarrased because I know my flatmates must've heard. I guess it is because it feels so intense. My bf loves it.& The louder I am, the more excited he gets. | 2006-07-30 02:36:24 |
| 371 | 2189 | For girl students living in a dormitory,it is hard to enjoy the habit,judging from what you said.I have heard that a student choose midnight to be the time to masturbate,but if she ends up with a loud moaning or even shout,the time doesn't make sense ,too. | 2006-07-30 09:07:19 |
| 371 | 2217 | I've gotten myself in trouble at school for being too loud. :-D I was really enjoying myself with my boyfriend, and the boys that dormed in the room next to mine I guess heard me through the cinderblock wall.& So they thougt that they would be funny and pound on my door, and rip my things off my door.& But, they ripped the wrong person's things. hehehehe.... | 2006-07-31 00:06:02 |
| 371 | 2456 | & Yes, most definitely! I used to be really REALLY quiet when I had a lot of people living in the same house and I couldn't be found out, but now I am able to masturbate when I'm home by myself, so I just left myself vocalize as I want -- and I actually moan quite a lot. I also found out (this was new to me!) that moaning turns my boyfriend on like crazy, so I do it even more when we're together, because when he gets turned on, I get turned on! | 2006-08-26 09:14:44 |
| 371 | 2460 | I usually try to be quiet but since I am starting to feel more comfortable with myself and my body (Long story) I find myself getting more vocal. Kit | 2006-08-26 23:06:00 |
| 371 | 2463 | I always tried to be absolutely silent when masturbating (the only way I've experienced orgasm so far), but I don't really have to do that anymore since I live by myself now. I find that if the sensations just before and during orgasm are really intense, I can't help but let out& a few moans. It just happens. | 2006-08-27 10:04:42 |
| 371 | 2473 | Hi, Making noise helps to ensure you aren't holding your breath, which can impair arousal and orgasm. Brad | 2006-08-27 15:15:57 |
| 371 | 2480 | Ahh ok good to know. | 2006-08-27 18:46:55 |
| 371 | 6016 | why normally only women moans,but men don't?Is it because women are more apt to express themselves or that the noise can't be controlled? | 2008-08-23 21:08:44 |
| 371 | 6018 | I think it depends, I find that Men tend to do more of the work during sex so I think they are more likely to be focusing on what they are doing and not just enjoying.& Case in point, don't men moan a lot while geting blow jobs?& (mine does ;) ) and its because he doesn't have to think about anything he just has to relax and enjoy. :D | 2008-08-23 21:26:19 |
| 371 | 6064 | "why normally only women moans,but men don't?Is it because women are more apt to express themselves or that the noise can't be controlled?" Many men& also moan. During orgasm,& many muscles, including thoracic diaphragms, intercostal muscles and vocal cords,& automatically contract .& When& those muscles are in& tension, air will be held in lungs;& when they unconsciously relax, air will be exhaled and make vocal cords tremor, thus& noise comes. If you make no noise, you have to conscioussly hold your breath and control your exhalation. This will make you feel less pleasurable because you don't concentrate your mind on the pleasure itself. I know many men deliberately keep quite because of the requirement of keeping privacy and thus get used not to moan. But next time you can try moaning and see if it is different. | 2008-08-26 08:25:44 |
| 371 | 6220 | I moan, not just at orgasm, but any time it's feeling good.& Sometimes I moan to INDUCE an orgasm because my moaning turns me on.& Even in masturbation.& And I always moan in intercourse because it just makes it feel better to me.& When I cum from sex, I cum hard, and can't even help it, I moan and "ahhh...& anhh... yeah.... ohh.. mmmm...mmm....mhmmm& mhmmmm...!!!!!"& It keeps feeling super good after orgasm too and if I keep on humping and moaning, I cum again.& and again.& ;) | 2008-11-06 14:07:59 |
| 371 | 6236 | [user=678]dragon[/user] wrote: "Do you moan at orgasm,and why?" no I dont | 2008-11-08 01:32:06 |
| 371 | 6273 | Mysecret and Alexagirl,you two have very different answers,does that mean there are two kinds of women? Mysecret, do you think you will still moan when you never saw other women moan during sex?I mean ,do your moaning is a result of your imitating other women unconciously? | 2008-11-24 16:37:39 |
| 372 | 2191 | I discovered an interesting phenomena for a long time.When a girl sits quietly,she often stuffs her hands into the crotch,nips the thighs rhythmly,sometimes even rubs that erea .Is she masturbating ?Oh no!For God's sake,after all she is in public,she even does this in front of or closely beside a guy naturally,taking this for granted.Most girls I know have engaged in this activity?What's the motivate then?Could it be sexuality or female nature?I don't know any male who did this odd thing.Whoever knows please clears it up,thank you.;) | 2006-07-30 09:52:58 |
| 372 | 2195 | Haha, I remember us talking about this in the vag group. I brought it up because I do it. When I sit down, I often stick my hands in my crotch but it isn't to masturbate, it is just a sort of comfort thing. It's warm there so cold hands like it but I also do it when I'm perfectly warm so I think it is like a comfort thing similar to thumb sucking or a comfort blanket. Subconscious being as I stick my hands there without thinking. In fact, when I'm not typing at the moment, my left hand automatically shoots down to that area when it isn't needed. I found that many other women in the vag group do this a lot and that many women in general do it. | 2006-07-30 17:19:36 |
| 372 | 2206 | us guys do it to we call it adjusting | 2006-07-30 19:55:11 |
| 372 | 2239 | I do that too!& I often cross my legs and have a hand in between close to the crotch ... I do this without thinking about it ... | 2006-07-31 08:47:17 |
| 372 | 2242 | Yeah, we know guys like to openly adjust....LOL!!!! | 2006-07-31 10:31:40 |
| 373 | 2192 | Some women said that they can achieve orgasm without a single touch of the genital,they images until they orgasm.How can that happen?It's beyond me.If I were a femle, I can have an experiment using my own body,but I'm not .So I have to turn to you my friends for help. | 2006-07-30 10:00:43 |
| 373 | 2575 | someone named Dr. Beverly Whipple reported on this, and& slang is& called thinking off | 2006-09-07 21:15:57 |
| 373 | 2581 | Hi, I believe it is relatively rare for women to bring themselves to orgasm by conscious thought alone, perhaps 1-3% if my memory is correct. Wet dreams are not uncommon. In a survey on our website 32% of women report experiencing orgasm while dreaming. Brad | 2006-09-07 21:53:02 |
| 373 | 2583 | Hi Brad, I agree it is not common to think off....gracias for the statistics.... Melissa | 2006-09-07 22:37:20 |
| 376 | 2208 | Hello, Thats a question that I have often thought about over the years. Yes, I am a male so I can only view it from the male mindset. I am still young at 24 and I am happily a virgin by choice. I have heard several times over my life that I should be more forward, but frankly its just not "me". I treat everyone with the same level of respect and consideration I would wish to be treated with, I take great pride in that. I have never been on a date or a kiss so far in my life, I have no real urge to jump out and go dating, its just something thats never... felt right for me. When I talk to people I look at their eyes women I do this with also. Many women have refered to me over the years as more like a woman to them. I listen closely I offer advice and I do not ever gossip. Many of my male friends accuse me of being a chicken or afraid of women, perhaps a little bit that may be true. However, some of their behavior towards women I find to be innappropate for me. The traditional "macho" behavior they sometimes use just makes me sick. So, does the nice guy syndrome truely exist? Is my behavor appearing to be that of disinterest? Or am I simply buying into a myth and I should relax? | 2006-07-30 20:01:23 |
| 376 | 2213 | "Nice guys" often confuse being macho or cocky with being confident and assertive.& Most women like confident and assertive guys: its how our society trains them.& Like it or not, men and women are both raised to fit certain gender roles that society deems appropriate.& In this case, the roles dictate that men should approach women, and women generally (and often correctly, IMO) view men who won't make the first move as timid. You can be nice and agressive at the same time.& That's not to say there aren't women who like timid or quiet guys, or that there aren't women who make the first move; there are, but society doesn't encourage it. | 2006-07-30 21:48:12 |
| 376 | 2244 | There is a difference between machoism and manliness. They are certainly not the same. Those who are macho are rarely what I'd consider to be real men. A real man has virtues like modesty, respect, understanding, self assertive,& protectiveness over family etc....a provider too.& Macho guys can hardly be described as being modest, can they? If your mates have a problem with how you are, thats their problem. I don't see why it should bother them so much that they have to make comments like that about you. It's a bit pathetic really. If you are a little nervous about talking to women, don't feel like you are the only one. There are loads and loads of guys who are a little nerved by it, same as there are loads of women who are nerved about talking to guys. Don't allow yourself to be pressured into losing your virginity for anyone either. It's yours to keep for however long you like and still having it doesn't mean you aren't a man. If you want to wait for the right time, then thats what you need to do. Stand up to your mates and tell them that you'll be what you want to be, not what they want you to be. Thats what a real man is. If you stand your ground, they'll learn to start respecting you more. I read a little story a while back that summed it up perfectly. It was by a bloke who recalled when he was a young lad, he was at his uncles cattle ranch and gazing over a fence at this big bull of some breed that he stated but I don't remember. The Bull's testicles had been dragging on the ground and had gotten infected so the bull was very tetchy to start with. The uncle came along with some disinfectant and told one of his& workers to go in& to the bull and spray it on the affected area. The guy looked in horror for a few seconds then he straightened his face, squared up his shoulders, jumped over the fence, sprayed the stuff on the bulls testicles then walked calmly back out of the paddock. The young lad commented saying "Wow, what a man". His uncle replied by saying, "Thats not a man, thats plain stupid.& A real man would have told me to fuck off and do it myself" | 2006-07-31 10:59:05 |
| 376 | 2250 | Hi, It is interesting though that it seems that known wife beaters and rapists have better luck than "nice guys." Look at jail house romances. Guys who I known to be total a**es have better luck with women than the average guy.& Another thread recently mentioned an 18 year old guy with over 100 sexual partners and 7 children by 7 different women. It seems some guys learn all the right moves that women fall for. I have had to call the cops a couple times when different neighbors have started beating each other up. I have know girls where all her friends are telling her to loose her looser boyfriend and she stays with him. Love is a strange thing. Single guys though are generally single for reasons within themselves rather than anything women may do. Brad | 2006-07-31 11:23:57 |
| 376 | 2261 | I think that may be partly down to the fact that these types of men take advantage of women with dependent personalities...who hate the thought of being alone and with low self-esteems where the guy can tell them nobody else will want them and they believe him. Even without going as far as that, a guy can prey on a woman with low self-esteem, make her feel special which is what all such people long for& and then use and abuse her...like that guy did with the 7 girls and 7 kids. These guys can start off with all the smooth talk and romance to initially attract the woman and once they change their ways, the woman can't bring herself to leave him for the reasons mentioned above. Society has made women believe that macho attributes are manly attributes so they often fall for these macho tactics as a result. There are women out there, like me, that do not fall for it though. I remember one such lad, who used to bully me at school and call me a freak but coincidentally didn't remember me when I reminded him about it, try chatting me up one time. I was walking the dogs& and it was summer so not in totally unflattering winter waterproofs and wellies. I was wearing jeans and a sleeveless top, I think. Anyway, he and his mate pulled up in a car and he got out and started talking. He then asked me if I was going to give him my number and I said no. He then asked "oh, you gunna be like that then?", and I said "Yes". LOL. I think he was a little taken aback but he was totally up on himself and a complete jerk who thought he could have anyone he wanted. He ended up in the slammer not long after for some reason...drugs maybe, I don't know. Not really seen him since. I did know another girl, only 14 at the time, I was about 21 and she told me how, even though she was totally uninterested in him, he told her to go back when she was 16...Haha...like he thought she wanted to. I must admit, it felt good turning him down after the way he used to treat me at school. I think most women do like guys to be self assertive though. Guys who can protect those they care about and also stand up for themselves and not let themselves be pushed around. There is a difference though between standing up for yourself and those you care about and just being downright aggressive and getting into brawls where it is totally uncalled for....often brought about by drinking. It is also usual for both sexes to be attracted to confidence in the opposite sex so if you are nervous, they sense it and run. | 2006-07-31 17:28:31 |
| 377 | 2215 | So a few months ago my hard drive bombed on me.& Among the many things I lost was a collection of Playboy Playmate pictorials from the 70s to the present (and the Cybergirl features that started a few years ago as well) that I had slowly formed over the previous 5 years or so.& Playboy has always fascinated me for two reasons.& First, it was (like with most young boys) the first place I saw a naked adult woman.& Secondly, the kind of unspoken exemption Playboy gets from a lot of pornography critics has always fascinated me. After the hard drive crash I began scouring newsgroups trying to restore what I could.& I should point out that I am pretty much a packrat on the verge of being OCD about collecting anything and everything I take interest in.& So, in replacing this collection of playboy pictorials I re-noticed something that hadn't occurred to me in a while (most of the pictorials I never looked at once I downloaded and filed them.& Like I said, total packrat), and that was the steadily diminishing presence of pubic hair in their pictorials.& Pre-70s Playboy didn't even show pubic hair.& The 70s had the free and untamed bush.& The 80s had shaped (and sometimes slightly trimmed) but otherwise full pubic hair.& The 90s saw the advent of the so-called Landing Strip, as well as its bastard cousin the Flying V (something I hate with a passion).& The 2000s saw pubic hair finally dwindling away with a full or nearly-full shave/wax (I don't know if the little patch above the bare labia has a slang name). Anyway, as interesting as that phenomenon is, that really isn't the point of this thread.& What really made me start thinking about it was this years May playmate who had a full bush and my own surprise at seeing it.& When I was a kid sneaking my dad's playboys from their hiding spots it was basically a given that women had pubic hair, and the first time I saw a shaved woman really surprised me.& Now that had been reversed, and I expected that women shaved their pubic hair and was surprised to see a woman au naturel (below the belt at least), and this is what made me really start to think about why women shave their pubic hair. Now, I am not looking for generic blanket answers like "its more hygienic" or "it looks better", I've heard all those and its not really what I'm getting at.& I'm looking more at individual pressures and expectations to do so, especially compared to the fact that men are NOT expected to shave their pubic hair.& I've heard from women who shave that they hate the irritation but that they do it for their man anyway, and this is really the kind of "why?" question I am getting at. So, to those women who do shave - and by shave I don't mean keeping it short with clippers, I mean the women who go completely bare using a razor or have it waxed; methods that might be considered time consuming, painful, or otherwise excessively devoted to something as simple as pubic hair - why did you start doing it?& Was it something you chose independently to do or did a lover or someone you were close to pressure you to do it because it was the "in thing" (or did you feel pressured hearing other people talk about it)?& If you shave for the benefit of someone else, do you also expect that person to return the favor?& Or, if you started independently, what was your motivation? For those who do not shave (but possibly have been asked to do it), what keeps you from doing it (or what could convince you to do it)?& Are any of you open to the idea in general, but refuse because your partner refuses to reciprocate?& Are you afraid of pain or injury?& Or have you simply never thought about it?& I have heard some women refuse since they see pubic hair as a sign of femeninity, and I have also heard men express dislike for shaving for the same reasons. Also, those who do shave can leave tips for those who are interested but do not shave about ways of avoiding or minimizing discomfort, involving or motivating partners, or otherwise addressing concerns that may be preventing them from doing it. | 2006-07-30 23:33:28 |
| 377 | 2218 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "So, to those women who do shave - and by shave I don't mean keeping it short with clippers, I mean the women who go completely bare using a razor or have it waxed; methods that might be considered time consuming, painful, or otherwise excessively devoted to something as simple as pubic hair - why did you start doing it?& Was it something you chose independently to do or did a lover or someone you were close to pressure you to do it because it was the "in thing" (or did you feel pressured hearing other people talk about it)?& If you shave for the benefit of someone else, do you also expect that person to return the favor?& Or, if you started independently, what was your motivation? Also, those who do shave can leave tips for those who are interested but do not shave about ways of avoiding or minimizing discomfort, involving or motivating partners, or otherwise addressing concerns that may be preventing them from doing it. "I started to shave my pubic hair when I was in middle school.& I was curious.& I started to explore my body when I was 13 and when I read on a site about shaving, I wanted to know what it felt like.& After that, I've been shaving all the time.& It feels so much better.& My lips are more sensitive without hair.& When I haven't shaved for about a week or so, I don't feel so much down there when my boyfriend goes to eat me out.& Plus, I think it is polite to be all cleanly shaven when someone is going to put their face down there. Not only that, but when I am menstruating, I feel cleaner than I did when I had pubic hair. I don't need to get into details for that. I do like my boyfriend to be shaven.& It's easier for me to explore his body with my mouth.& I don't want to have to cough up a hair ball. | 2006-07-31 00:14:15 |
| 377 | 2219 | Thats a very colorful response :D I assume from your answer that your boyfriend is actually shaven, not simply that you would prefer it.& Since you clearly started before meeting him, did he offer to do so himself?& If you had to suggest it, did he scoff at it?& That question applies to anyone else who posts in this thread that finds themselves in a similar situation. | 2006-07-31 00:32:38 |
| 377 | 2230 | dont you itch when you shave down there,& I tried it once and it itch for a few days very uncomfortable:( | 2006-07-31 07:39:20 |
| 377 | 2237 | I was raised thinking hair on women is something disgusting and not to be seen...& and it is cleaner to wax (actually what mom taught me is sugaring but it's the same)... so the first time my late grandmother sugared my entire legs when I was 13 and I shaved my pubic hair to make myself feel more feminine& and after that because I wanted to wear bikinis. I now shave for pretty much the same reasons Lady Bug does: & it is cleaner... it is very annoying even when not menstruating, vaginal secretions get dried up on the hair, can make the hairs stick together and cause serious pain when they pull at each other Smells& lingers too and becomes too strong if I have too much hair.& & It feels so much better when I masturbate and the skin is smooth.& Alot of hair trapped in your panties all day can get annoying.& I feel way more comfortable when the area is shaved (there is more space :)). I like looking at myself and I think it looks so hot when I can see everything, not just a big bush of hair. & Shaving make me feel sexy and feminine, it turns me on, being hairy makes me feel very unsexy... (these are built-in beliefs handed down from my family that I am aware of but are very hard to let go of) | 2006-07-31 08:29:26 |
| 377 | 2238 | I wouldn't mind my boyfriend shaved (which he did a couple of times) but I like him hairy even though I really dislike myself with hair. Go figure!.& & I love playing with his hairs and I even play with them with my mouth and nose during oral sex.& They tickle a bit and smell like him which I like.& I'm very sensitive to smell and would recognize his anywhere Waxing itches me alot there and causes lots of bumps but with shaving I have no problems.& I have a friend who is the exact opposite (waxes but can not shave) Draco, You have to get the skin used to it, by gradually shaving closer... I started at first shaving with the direction of the hair with lots of conditioner and cream.& By now I just shave in shower with plain water and am done in 5 minutes with a really close and smooth shave (practice makes perfect!)& My tip is don't shave unless the hair is clearly visible and not stubs anymore (0.5cm or so).& This way the skin doesn't get irritated and you get a closer shave.& I shave around once a week or every 10 days. . | 2006-07-31 08:31:40 |
| 377 | 2243 | I don't take the lot off because it would make me feel like a little girl. I do take around the edges off and some inbetween the actual legs for hygiene etc...and trim the rest I started doing it partly because I knew thats what girls generally did and also because I had hair poking out at either side of my knickers so I figured I'd be better off getting shut of it. I think that shaving just for vanity reasons and feeling unfeminine with hair are quite sad things that have been instilled in us. After all, mother nature intended us to have hair and we have to waste precious time shaving it off....in order to comform to what society expects. It would be great if hair was considered attractive in a woman and I didn't have to bother shaving all the time. It is such a bind. I wouldn't expect a guy to shave, unless it was his face and he wanted to kiss me but thats to save me from nasty stubble rash, not shallowness,& but if he wanted me to go completely bare down there, I'd have to disappoint him. & | 2006-07-31 10:42:31 |
| 377 | 2254 | [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: "I was raised thinking hair on women is something disgusting and not to be seen...& and it is cleaner to wax (actually what mom taught me is sugaring but it's the same)... so the first time my late grandmother sugared my entire legs when I was 13 and I shaved my pubic hair to make myself feel more feminine& and after that because I wanted to wear bikinis. " That's what I find interesting.& It has been a long-standing sign of femeninity in the US for women to remove body hair, EXCEPT for pubic hair.& Now, I'm not surprised at all by that exception given our puritanical background and the impact of Victorianism that still persists in the US.& Sexual regions simply aren't mentioned in public, or when they are mentioned (outside of juvenile humor), people immediately become uncomfortable.& Genitals, and sex in general, is something that just isn't spoken about.& Given that social silence, you have to wonder how things like pubic hair fashion spread.& | 2006-07-31 13:58:40 |
| 377 | 2255 | i hear in germany and europe women dont shave legs or pits, mabe they find it attractive | 2006-07-31 15:52:33 |
| 377 | 2258 | You heard wrong. | 2006-07-31 16:19:27 |
| 377 | 2259 | Yes, it is done in Europe although I do hear that in Italy, they are more likely to keep their hair than in other countries& and this came from an Italian woman. | 2006-07-31 16:56:41 |
| 377 | 2269 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "Thats a very colorful response :D I assume from your answer that your boyfriend is actually shaven, not simply that you would prefer it.& Since you clearly started before meeting him, did he offer to do so himself?& If you had to suggest it, did he scoff at it?& That question applies to anyone else who posts in this thread that finds themselves in a similar situation." Yes he has. :)& He usually keeps his hair trimmed nicely. | 2006-07-31 22:43:10 |
| 377 | 2289 | I live in Germany but am not German, I come from the middle east where hair removal is very important for women (it is actually mentioned in history as long as 1500 years ago!!) .& & Removal of pubic hair is also very typical and I believe has been done for centuries. & After 3 years here in europe, i find myself a bit more relaxed about body hiar as europeans in general don't fuss too much about it.& Don't get me wrong... most of the women here are shaved My boyfriend (a native german) says that alot of women shave their pubic hair too... but if you don't, it's not a big deal, most men wouldn't care too much.& & His attitude towards body hair is so much cooler than guys back home. In showers and locker rooms, I've noticed that alot of women don't shave their hair completely. Canis, my grandfather was a merchant and he used to make lots of trips to italy (that's 40 years ago or more) , he used to say the Italian women are so pretty but then would exclaim loudly with dismay that they don't remove their hair with a shocked expression on his LOL :D | 2006-08-02 05:18:47 |
| 377 | 2290 | Where in the middle east are you from?& I'd love to travel there, but needless to say it's probably not the best place for Americans to visit right now :? | 2006-08-02 06:07:05 |
| 377 | 2291 | one of my lady friends is from germany and she does not shave her legs or pits, and said thats the way it is there | 2006-08-02 07:21:22 |
| 377 | 2292 | In the UK, it is commonplace for women to trim and tidy up their pubic hair and remove anything that would be on the wrong side of the edge of your knickers or bikini bottom. A neat little triangle of hair seems most popular here. Shaving entirely is done sometimes& but isn't as commonplace. Shaving armpits and legs is also routine in the UK. Obviously, you get your women who don't shave for various reasons. If they don't want to, thats down to them and I hate it when they get berated for it too. If they don't want to shave, they shouldn't have to. | 2006-08-02 10:45:45 |
| 377 | 2295 | I also live in the middle of Europe, and I agree& with Kay that the Europeans seem to be more relaxed about body& hair than maybe the& Americans...it came into fashion in the last 10-15 years or so. I remember that my mon did not shave her legs when I was a child, but she does now. I shave my legs and my armpits, in the summer daily, in the winter only when I exspect somebody sees me naked (I'm single). My pubic hair is trimmed. I like the look& and the feel of it. In my experience, men like women with trimmed or shaved hair, they say that it looks sexy and feels better when they do cunnilingus (this I can understand). I shave the edges, so that no hair is visible when I'm wearing a bikini. For a man, I sometimes shave my labiae and everything between my legs. One of may ex-boyfriends shaved me completely, but I did not like the look of it, and when the hair grow back on the mons, I had a lot of bumps and it took a long time to heal. Since that, I never shaved completely again. | 2006-08-02 11:35:40 |
| 377 | 2300 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "Thats a very colorful response :D I assume from your answer that your boyfriend is actually shaven, not simply that you would prefer it.& Since you clearly started before meeting him, did he offer to do so himself?& If you had to suggest it, did he scoff at it?& That question applies to anyone else who posts in this thread that finds themselves in a similar situation. " As a guy who& is& bare, I have been clean shaven since high school making it a little over 20 years. You can be sure that I will always be neat clean and bare. | 2006-08-03 23:25:58 |
| 377 | 2301 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "Where in the middle east are you from?& I'd love to travel there, but needless to say it's probably not the best place for Americans to visit right now :? " I come from Lebanon, and right now it's not the best place for anyone to visit:(& but we have (perhaps had?) a lot of Americans living there, (2 of my university proffessors were American, as well as the University President) so it is not as bad as you might think.& Hopefully when things settle down, you'll be able to visit and enjoy it :)& But I have to warn you, it is very very unlikely that you'll see unshaved women there.& Back home I wouldn't dare go to the beach unshaved! :D& Here in Germany, I've done it more than a few times! | 2006-08-04 08:00:37 |
| 377 | 2304 | I love being cleanly shaven.& One thing I hated about having pubic hair was when it got caught along my leg hole of my underwear and it would pull on it.& Ouch! I'm thinking of getting all my hair lasered! | 2006-08-04 15:53:28 |
| 377 | 2306 | [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: "I come from Lebanon, and right now it's not the best place for anyone to visit:(& but we have (perhaps had?) a lot of Americans living there, (2 of my university proffessors were American, as well as the University President) so it is not as bad as you might think.& Hopefully when things settle down, you'll be able to visit and enjoy it :)& But I have to warn you, it is very very unlikely that you'll see unshaved women there.& Back home I wouldn't dare go to the beach unshaved! :D& Here in Germany, I've done it more than a few times! " Yeah, the whole lebanon crisis is driving me nuts.& Every side of the conflict is being run by idiots without common sense, and America's stance in the whole thing just makes me embarassed :?& There are obviously some countries that are less risky than others to visit, but since I can't afford to travel anyway, I'm not really concerned about that.& I'm just concerned about the destruction of things with historical significance since the middle east has been so important in human development.& Sadly, human history has shown that preservation of culture, knowledge, and history is a low priority compared to greed, power, and religion. | 2006-08-04 16:29:33 |
| 377 | 2308 | Hi, I know some women shaved their pubic hair prior to it becoming as common as it is today. In one old sex advise book the author advised men to avoid women who shaved because they were very neurotic. :shock: In the 1920s it was illegal to show pubic hair in photos of nude women so the models would shave. I saw a nude BW photo of a popular actress from that time and she was clean shaven. I also know some young teens also start shaving before it was so common. I heard of one 13 year old way back in about 1980, so it isn't a new practice. There are women who prefer not having pubic hair, regardless of their initial motives to remove it, but it probably is a time consuming practice, and razor burn is no fun. Perhaps more women would remove or trim their pubic hair if it didn't involve frequent shaving. Laser hair removal offers an option that leaves you baby smooth, as one women I met found out when another woman unexpectedly gapped her hand it placed in on her lasered vulva, [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img] but it is still expensive. I gather it is around $300 per treatment and can cost $3,000 for several treatments that remove it permanently. For young women who really dislike having pubic hair or prefer being hairless it might be a worth while expense, and save them a lot time an effort over their lifetime. There are places in the world where women have been removing all their body hair for generations. Based on photos taken at nude beaches around the world complete removal of the pubic hair occurs just about everywhere. Brad | 2006-08-04 17:57:46 |
| 377 | 2309 | Do you women prefer your men to have long,short or no hair down there:-/ | 2006-08-05 21:21:21 |
| 377 | 2310 | I prefer very short or none.& It's easier for me to lick the balls.& If they have hair on them, it's not as much fun. | 2006-08-06 00:39:09 |
| 377 | 2311 | Hair in the mouth sucks, regardless of where it comes from. | 2006-08-06 02:45:10 |
| 377 | 2312 | A stray hair actually got caught in my teeth - argh! It tickled my throat and I gagged all the way to the bathroom to the mirror to remove it! :-& It would be nice if we could have all evolved - men and women - to have absolutely no body hair anywhere at all! Eyelashes, eyebrows, peach fuzz - no hair anywhere. Even slicker than a newborn baby. :P | 2006-08-06 12:02:17 |
| 377 | 2318 | hair on the head is the only hair anybody needs hair anywhere else is just trouble | 2006-08-06 16:20:58 |
| 377 | 2319 | Hair on the body such as arms and the like plays an important role in maintaining body temperature. Note how they rise up and form goose pimples when you are cold in order to trap heat against your skin. The effect they have might not be very noticeable but mother nature had a reason for giving& them to us. | 2006-08-06 17:06:09 |
| 377 | 2320 | Actually, goose bumps/pimples are caused by your skin contracting from the cold.& When it contracts on top of the hair follicle, it creates the bump.& Typical human body hair is insufficient for trapping heat since it doesn't actually form a "solid" layer. The presumed purpose for armpit and pubic hair is to trap the bacteria that create the musky smell that we instinctually associate with sex.& However, since we have developed language and can communicate our arousal/sexuality more directly, these primitive methods are not really necessary.& They don't hurt anything of course, but they aren't crucial as they were before man learned to communicate. | 2006-08-06 18:54:36 |
| 377 | 2328 | "Goose bumps are a temporary local change in the skin. The chain of events leading to this skin change starts with a stimulus such as cold or fear. That stimulus causes a nerve discharge from an involuntary portion of the nervous system called the sympathetic nervous system. The nerve discharge causes contraction of little muscles called the arrectores pilorum (the hair erector muscles). Contraction of these muscles elevates the hair follicles above the rest of the skin. And it is these tiny elevations we perceive as goose bumps." So, it is the hair follicles that raise up, not the main skin that contracts. The hair follicles raise up in order to make the hair stand up. We did about this in biology so I remember all about it. | 2006-08-07 08:12:12 |
| 377 | 2329 | well, regardless of the minute physiological details, its a contraction in reaction to cold, not a mechanism for trapping heat beneath the hair.& we simply don't have enough hair on our bodies to trap air. | 2006-08-07 08:34:21 |
| 377 | 2331 | The raising of the follicle causes the hair to stand up and it does this in order to trap a layer of warm air against the skin. it is basically the same reflex that& thick haired mammals display when they feel cold or frightened. It is how cats and dogs raise their hackles when scared. We don't see their goode pimples because they are hidden under the thick hair...but they still have them.& It doesn't need to be thick hair to trap some heat& and I know from personal experience. When I first started to shave my legs, I remember noting how much colder they& would feel when it was cold out after they had been shaved. I'd never felt that before I started shaving them and, as the hair grew back slightly, it would gradually wear off.......until I shaved again. It still does it now in winter when it is cold. The hair on my legs obviously did used to trap a little heat....even if it wasn't that much. Also, most of the hair we have on our bodies isn't very noticeable, especially on women such as the torso and arms, back of hands, top of feet, so I can't really see it being a problem of any kind. & | 2006-08-07 17:23:01 |
| 377 | 2477 | I tried shaving my pubic hair once, but found that it made it difficult to stay aroused. I really think you need the hair to retain heat. Maybe it's just me, but I kept feeling kind of cold and would lose my arousal. The smooth feeling was very nice and allowed me to get some pleasure from stroking my outer labia, but the prickly feeling when it started to grow back was quite unpleasant. Also, it was very nerve-wracking shaving my outer labia -- I was worried about cutting myself. OUCH!!! | 2006-08-27 17:00:53 |
| 377 | 2491 | Keep your pubic hair, it's attractive and retains the mystery of the delights that are to be found behind it. There is nothing so sexy as just a hint of the inner labia protruding beyond the hair. Chris& | 2006-08-28 05:02:58 |
| 377 | 2494 | During the summer time, it's soo much cooler to not have it. :) My aunt, who is a nurse, started talking about pubic hair because one of her patients had a huge bush from her belly button down.& And she said, "I wonder if it would be any cooler if I were to shave down there."& My sister and I replied, "It definitely is."& Then my mom chimed in saying that she did too.& | 2006-08-28 09:13:26 |
| 377 | 2503 | Well, I shave every where else (arms, legs, ect.) except in the pubic area. I love the hair down there. It kind of gives a nice cushion (if it is well trimmed). | 2006-08-29 00:39:11 |
| 377 | 2513 | [user=291]csenrab2002[/user] wrote: "There is nothing so sexy as just a hint of the inner labia protruding beyond the hair. Chris& " Chris, would you say that, for those of us who have very thick bushes, we might trim just enough to reveal that hint? | 2006-08-29 18:19:10 |
| 377 | 2523 | Yes most certainly. A thick dark bush with labia projecting is very erotic, especially if they are swollen and the clitoris is also protruding. Something good to kiss Chris | 2006-08-30 09:48:11 |
| 378 | 2241 | My girlfriend used to have a boyfriend and has just found out that she is pregnant. We have decided to keep the baby as our own. The father says that he is happy with that. My question relates to lactating. My girlfriend has just started and I have been wanting to try out a fantasy of mine which involves suck on her nipples and drinking her milk. I was just wondering if there are any health issues involving this and if it puts me or her at risk. Also wondering if anyone else, male or female, has tried this before. Thanks. | 2006-07-31 10:07:58 |
| 378 | 2246 | Hi lesbochick..congrats for being responsible for the baby..as far as you sucking her milk I don't see any problem as far you observe strict higiene and I'm sure you don't have any sores in your mouth...the only problem is that maybe won't be enough milk for the baby and on the other hand it will relieve engorged breasts(we did it when the kids were born). Have you considered breastfeeding yourself? there is a clinical protocol used to produce milk and both can participate in the process; you can ask your gyno about Good luck Luisa | 2006-07-31 11:06:12 |
| 378 | 2248 | Hi, If you already exchange body fluids, through kissing and sex, then I don't believe this would pose any greater risk to you. The baby would be more susceptible to infection than you, but breast feeding transfers antibodies from the mother to the child. If a couple engages in sex when she is lactating and her partner orally stimulates her nipples then milk is likely to be released. I know some drink the milk, but others are uncomfortable with the idea, even though they drink cow's milk without a second thought. I don't believe it tastes all that good, based on what I have read. Older children who want to nurse, wanting to experience what the younger sibling is doing, generally don't like the taste. Brad | 2006-07-31 11:08:54 |
| 378 | 2251 | Hi about the taste of mother's milk I have to add that the colostrum is very heavy taste becasue of the high content of fat and other natural chemicals but after the colostrum is gone it aquires a taste close to 2% or low fat milk but sweeter.. Luisa | 2006-07-31 11:26:52 |
| 378 | 2270 | Thanks for all the responses - all really helpful. I'll make sure it stays hygenic though. Looking forward to trying this out! lesbochick | 2006-08-01 02:11:10 |
| 378 | 2281 | I have 2 adopted children and was never able to get pregnant -- but I always love for my hubby to suck my nipples. I think I read somewhere recently of women being able to breastfeed their adopted children. So I have wondered if my husband tries hard enough if I could actually lactate, I think it would be so hot for him to be able to suckle and get milk from my breasts. I'm not a doctor and I don't even play one on tv but I would think that if you're not taking away too much milk from the baby (and it seemed that your post read that your girlfriend is pregnant and hasn't yet given birth?) that there shouldn't be a problem healthwise for either of you. I will just say that I have heard that breast milk is not that appetizing tasting -- but there are also people who don't "swallow" when their partner ejaculates so I'm guessing it's personal preference there. I, personally, adore swallowing. And the taste does relate to what the man has eaten -- we keep strawberry ice cream in the freezer all the time :-) I love to swallow anyways, but when it has the sweeter taste that makes it all the more better!!! I guess this doesn't particularly fit for the "lesbian" topic -- but I would think male or female suckling would be the same when it comes to breast milk. for the record, i would love to have a woman suck my breasts and if there's lactation, that would be incredibly exciting to me, too! & hottie>:) | 2006-08-01 12:31:30 |
| 378 | 2282 | Hi dear Hotttie...we all have different doubts and I find this palce a wonderful place to consult..I wrote to lesbochick about the procedure to stimulate lactation..I saw it In a Hospital in San Antonio, texas some time ago. They recruited young college girls willing to breastfeed babies and put them thru a treatment with PROLACTIN(HORMONE) and some other hormones and along the hormones they put a small plastic tube on the nipple and connected to a regular bottle so the baby sucked, got milk and stimulated her nippples; if oyur partner is willing to d o it for 3 or 4 times a day(maybe 10, 15 min.) you're ready to start lactating...please consult your Gynecologist. Good luck. would you let me know what you find and decide? look my email in my profile. Love Luisa | 2006-08-01 13:38:02 |
| 378 | 2283 | Luisa -- I sent you a private email. I'm very interested in induced lactation. I think it would be so wonderful if lesbochick and her girlfriend were both able to nurse their baby; and it would be super (in my opinion) if they nursed one another as well :-) very interesting concept! hottie | 2006-08-01 16:39:52 |
| 378 | 2284 | Hi, The breasts do not store milk, at least very much. It is more of a supply and demand thing. The longer the baby, or whomever, applies suction the more milk the breasts produce. I believe the stored part is fore milk and the produced part is the hind milk. It is the sucking that actually stimulates milk production, not pregnant, etc. I believe the rhythmic sucking action of infants is important too, as constant suction doesn't work as well. Brad | 2006-08-01 20:55:35 |
| 379 | 2272 | Which one is intenser,female or male orgasm?It seems a difficult question,'cause there& is& nobody that have experieced both.But perhaps some of you know,to me ,you are all experts. | 2006-08-01 06:08:20 |
| 379 | 2278 | There is no way to really know. For starters, one woman might feel it differently to the next woman and the same with guys. A person can only know how orgasm feels for themselves. They do not know how others feel it, same or opposite sex. I wouldn't really assume that either sex generally felt orgasm more intensely than the other but then there is no way of finding out. I suppose it would be a little different but when it comes to intensity.... Doesn't really matter anyway. | 2006-08-01 08:07:26 |
| 379 | 2286 | Depends on the mood or how the person is stimulated.& Sometimes, I can have a weak orgasm, and my boyfriend could have the strongest one that puts him to sleep.& Whereas sometimes I can have a really intense one that makes me fall asleep and he has a weak one. | 2006-08-01 22:34:29 |
| 379 | 2288 | As a rule of thumb, the longer the arousal before orgasm, the more intense the orgasm.& This is generally true for both men and women. | 2006-08-02 05:02:07 |
| 379 | 2293 | Most of the time when I'm masturbating, my orgasms are a whole lot tenser than they are when I do things with my boyfriend.& But then there are times when they can be really intense when I'm with him, it doesn't occur as often as I'd like it to. | 2006-08-02 10:47:05 |
| 379 | 2294 | Maybe thats down to the fact that you know even better than him what buttons you like pressing, he can only go on what you tell him, he can't feel the results of what he's doing to you and nobody wants to keep piping up about how their partners& can do it a little better. Doing what you do to yourself with little effort might take way too much verbal communication to get your BF to do the same thing, too much than is generally wanted in a sexual encounter....lol. Even if a couple are comfortable communicating, you don't want to be rabbling on and on when he's giving you oral.:P Also, when alone, you can concentrate fully on yourself. No partner to take care of. | 2006-08-02 10:52:19 |
| 379 | 2298 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Maybe thats down to the fact that you know even better than him what buttons you like pressing, " Yeah, you guys haven't been intimate for all that long if I remember correctly.& Try to think back (if you can remember) to when you had only been masturbating for a few months.& That's how it is with him, except he can't directly tell how effective his actions are.& Now, if you two had been intimate for as long as you've been masturbating (theoretically speaking), then you might have something to worry about :P | 2006-08-02 13:28:44 |
| 379 | 2303 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "[user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Maybe thats down to the fact that you know even better than him what buttons you like pressing, " Yeah, you guys haven't been intimate for all that long if I remember correctly.& Try to think back (if you can remember) to when you had only been masturbating for a few months.& That's how it is with him, except he can't directly tell how effective his actions are.& Now, if you two had been intimate for as long as you've been masturbating (theoretically speaking), then you might have something to worry about :P & "Canis - you brought up very good points. It's so true.& I can't really explain what I do in order to get myself off.& It's hard for me to tell him how much pressure... usually when it starts to hurt me, I tell him and he'll just go oral on me because you really can't go wrong with the tongue, since it's so soft.& I don't want to be a director in telling him how to do things because I want him to figure some of the stuff out too. dfs - that is very true.& My bf and I have been together for a little over 9 months (and still counting).& I have been masturbating since I was in 7th grade, I was... 12 years old.& It did take me a few tries in order for me to figure out what made my body squirm, I'm not saying I'm impatient, but I do feel bad when I tell him to stop because it hurts.& Just like the other night, I think he sucked on my clit a little too hard because after a bit, it wasn't so pleasant anymore, so I just told him nicely that I was done. Gave it a rest, and wanted to try at it again, but it still hurt. | 2006-08-04 15:50:46 |
| 379 | 2305 | As others have pointed out, he can't tell when its too much, so you really should tell him.& He might be able to tell from a wince or other body language if he's not doing it right, but there is no guarantee that he will catch a sign like that, and he can't actually feel your discomfort.& He can only learn so much on his own, but at some point he will be making assumptions based on his interpretations of your body language, and that's simply not reliable.& So yeah, don't be afraid to give him specific directions because that's the best way to learn.& Just make sure they don't come across as orders or criticisms, because that can do more harm than good. | 2006-08-04 16:15:18 |
| 379 | 2307 | Oh definitely.& I have told him many times things I love when he does them.& One of my favorites is when I tell him while he's down there how I love how he does it.& It boosts his ego, and makes he go to town on me, which is awesome for me, but from what he tells me, he loves it too. There are times that he does put a little bit too much pressure so I tell him to lighten up a little bit, or it he's performing cunnilingus I tell him how I really enjoy when he circles his tongue.& Just giving him pointers.& Sometimes I wish he would tell me how he would like me to do things to him.& I usually do my own thing, and I usually pay great attention to the way he moves, and his reactions to certain things.& I absolutely love the feeling of him getting bigger as I please him. | 2006-08-04 16:37:28 |
| 379 | 2580 | I would say a woman's orgams is more intense..the uterus is probably the most powerful organ involved and I don't think the penis and prostate contractions are able to match it.... | 2006-09-07 21:37:44 |
| 379 | 2671 | There is one way find somebody& was born with& both male and female body parts | 2006-09-17 01:39:36 |
| 379 | 2672 | [user=661]DracoXXX89[/user] wrote: "There is one way find somebody& was born with& both male and female body parts" Um... no.& | 2006-09-17 06:47:22 |
| 379 | 2673 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "[user=661]DracoXXX89[/user] wrote: "There is one way find somebody& was born with& both male and female body parts" Um... no.& " Ditto! :-& | 2006-09-17 10:10:39 |
| 379 | 2702 | I say "no" because in hermaphrodites, one or both sex organs is non-functioning so there is no comparison to be made.& As I said before, orgasm is not an objective thing.& It's like arguing over which movie is better: it totally depends on ther person. | 2006-09-17 15:34:11 |
| 379 | 2704 | I was thinking that too. In people born with sex organs of both, they are usually missing something at least from one of the genders and so don't function correctly as both genders. They are often missing something from the organs of both genders and, either way...being as the penis forms from what would be a clitoris in a female baby, there would still only be one of these and it would either have become longer as a penis or stayed as a clitoris..... | 2006-09-17 15:56:38 |
| 379 | 2705 | Hi, It is my understanding that it is extremely rare for an individual to have two complete sets of sexual organs, and most do not live past birth when they do, because of other severe abnormalities. The male and female sexual and reproductive organs are two divergents of the same thing rather than being distinctly different things. While they may not develop to a degree to allow reproduction they work on a sexual level, meaning orgasm is possible even if intercourse and conception are not. As with the male and female prostate both work in the same way even though they have different appearances. The penis and clitoris are made up of the same tissues and work the same, even if the urethra doesn't pass along its full length. The correct term to use is intersexed rather than hermaphrodite. I believe it is rare to have male and female sexual organs, as in having one ovary and one testicle that are fully functional. Women experience different types of orgasms when different organs are involved in the orgasmic contractions but I don't know if a person could have male and female orgasms, because there would never be a distinct male and female separate and distinct sides to their anatomy and psyche. Brad | 2006-09-17 16:44:25 |
| 379 | 2716 | lol..this same topic came up with me and a large group of friends,it took a while and then somebody mentioned them. | 2006-09-17 20:51:56 |
| 379 | 2762 | It may not be possible to meassure which one is more pleassurable than the other, or they could infact be the same, but after I reread the Original Post I thought of something that might not have been what the original poster intended to ask; however, Which orgasm, male or female, has more intense effects on the brain or the body, physicly speaking. | 2006-09-19 07:44:52 |
| 379 | 2768 | female orgasm is more intense...it is often& total body..uterus contractions outpower male contractions..although I heard it from a Dr. Harold Lief (sexologist), I believe too | 2006-09-19 22:16:46 |
| 379 | 2796 | I think male. Just think. Don't know, why. | 2006-09-22 05:16:36 |
| 379 | 2804 | I think its women who have better orgasms of course that could just be me because mine arn't all that great:( | 2006-09-23 09:36:25 |
| 379 | 2824 | i think women have better orgasms :) | 2006-09-24 19:45:06 |
| 379 | 4145 | I think over all its women. Women have more contractions (6-7) per orgasmn than men (3-4) meaning their orgasm is more intenser than a males. Also with women due to the fact that all their parts are on the inside, their orgasm often feels a lot deeper and full body than a mans from what I am aware only feels his in his penis. Also, women dont go through a refractory period as often as men do, meaning multiple orgasms. I think at the end of the day the girls orgasm is slighlty better than the mans but it is still an enjoyable experience for both. | 2007-04-28 11:29:00 |
| 379 | 4149 | [user=1866]Karren[/user] wrote: " Also with women due to the fact that all their parts are on the inside, their orgasm often feels a lot deeper and full body than a mans from what I am aware only feels his in his penis. " The muscles that contract in a male orgasm are on the inside for men as well.& I can understand a female orgasm seeming deeper, but certainly not more full body.& Male orgasms can be full body as well, though, including abdominal contraction, curling toes, and tingling skin down the legs and up the back. | 2007-04-28 13:38:44 |
| 382 | 2324 | i'm 21 and i've been in an intimate relationship with my boyfriend for 2.5 years now and i love it. the penetration is great and i'm usually satisfied with it even though i never orgasm and i usually don't even think about it. my boyfriend and i have tried oral sex, but i'm a bit self conscious about& his face being right there that i& usually can't relax enough to enjoy the extra attention(we usually skip foreplay for the most part and just jump right into it). i usually end up being so tense and nervous that i get& very ticklish and ruin& all his efforts and now he's reluctant to try because i keep freaking out. and it's not like i can tell him what i like either since i don't know.& so naturally& every now and then i wonder "why? what's wrong with me?" that's usually when i come to sites like this to read up on the mechanics, techniques, and so forth. problem is, everything says that i need to get comfortable with masturbation. i've tried and tried, but i every time i get to a point where i hit a& wall and either get bored (despite visual& aids)& or extreamly self conscious. i believe this& may be& because i grew up believing that female masturbation is a no-no/wrong/disgusting and so on, i even remember the day (if not my age) when my mother "caught" me and told me this. i've bought a vibrator and it helps a little more, but i still get the "eebie jibies" not long after i start using it. we did use it during sex once and that was great, but again i hit a wall. not because i thought "this is wrong," but i just couldn't get any higher. i think of it on a scale from 0-10, 0 being not aroused at all, 10 being orgasm. attempting masturbating i've gotten to about a 3, during sex and using the vibrator that one time i've gotten to a 8.5. i usually get to at least a 7 during sex without any toys if i'm in the right mood and have been properly "prepared". so what's wrong with me? my boyfriend tells me to relax during sex, i feel relaxed, but still nothing happens. what's going on? help? | 2006-08-07 05:48:59 |
| 382 | 2325 | well from the sound of it you've got some issues with your sexuality, and I don't mean being attracted to a man or a woman.& what I mean is that you seem to have an internal conflict about your role in a sexual relationship.& I doubt there's anything physically wrong with you, and the issue here isn't a matter of mechanics or techniques. I noticed you live in Redding, and I assume that's where you grew up.& I live a few hours south (and grew up here as well), so I know the kind of semi-small town, rural california mentality that surrounds you.& Sex is something you don't really talk about around here.& When I was a kid, if we were watching a movie as a family and something a bit racy came on, my mom would panic and turn off the TV.& I think she was as much embarassed to have people know she'd seen those images as she was to actually have seen them.& Also, two years ago my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.& While she was in chemo, I had to fill out a doctor's form for her and I asked her the various questions over the phone.& One question was whether she had been sexually active in the last year.& When I asked her, she got flustered and went nuts on the phone having to mention it.& I mean, my parents have been married for like 35 years or so, and its not like I think I was brought by a stork, so of course I know they have sex - it's what married people do.& But she was so flustered and ashamed to have to answer that question. Anyway, anecdotes aside, that's how it is around here.& It's a typical conservative mindset in which men are expected to enjoy sex and women are expected to make sure their man enjoys sex, but the woman is not recognized as a sexual being in her own right.& And sex is never ever spoken about.& & These are things a lot of people might not notice, but you pick them up subconsciously.& You probably can't remember this, or maybe your embarassment at your mom catching you just blocks the memory, but I would guess that when you were masturbating right before your mom caught you, you thought it felt really great and you didn't really have this conception of it being bad.& However, when she told you that what you were doing was bad, she told you more than you heard.& Yes, consciously you remember her telling you that touching yourself was bad, but the message carries further.& What her words probably subconsciously taught you is that having those feelings of pleasure and desire are something to be ashamed of.& The fact that it probably wasn't talked about anywhere else in your community would have reinforced that.& This isn't a conscious thought.& You said that when you hit the wall, you don't think to yourself "this is wrong".& That's not how it works.& This works on a more emotional level.& When you start feeling the sensations now, the confusion and embarassment and shame that got associated with those feelings when you were younger start creeping up.& Here's the good news though: if you want an orgasm, you can have it.& Like I said, there is nothing wrong with you, you were just taught to be ashamed of your own sexuality. & Your boyfriend tells you to relax, and he's semi-correct.& What you need to do is acknowledge yourself as a sexual being.& If you want to enjoy sex fully, you have to truly confront your shame and what you were taught.& You have to convince yourself not only that you want to enjoy sex completely (i.e. orgasm), but that you can and that you should experience that pleasure.& You ask yourself "what is there to be ashamed of?"& and when you truly believe that there is nothing to be ashamed of you will be able to move on.& You need to let go of what other people have told you and realize that your body is yours and yours alone.& It helps to tell yourself these things at first, but you really need to believe them as well. Here is another hint for that is often given to women struggling with orgasm (and men struggling with giving women orgasms): there is more to sex than orgasm.& I know I just got done telling you that you can orgasm, and now I'm telling you that you don't have to.& This advice is generally given to remind people that orgasm isn't the only thing that feels good.& A lot of people get so worked up about orgasm that they completely miss and ignore all the pleasure that leads up to it.& When I masturbate, I don't try to orgasm right away.& It's only when I feel like I'm done that I finish myself off.& It's like a fireworks show.& The finale is the biggest bang of them all, but what kind of show would it be if you skipped right to it and missed all the great buildup? So what I'm saying to you is this: masturbate, but don't freak out about orgasm just yet.& Just get yourself some free time where you don't have to worry about anything else, let your mind wander, and explore your body with your hands while your mind explores what turns you on mentally.& When you find something that feels nice, keep it up and don't worry about orgasm.& Even though& this isn't orgasm, it's still sexual pleasure.& Just think about the pleasure and recognize it and ask yourself "what is there to be ashamed of?"& This way you can confront the issues without the pressure of achieving orgasm. | 2006-08-07 07:41:56 |
| 382 | 2326 | I agree with the previous answer. This happens to many of us to a certain extent because of the way we are brought up but it is possible to overcome it and find your sexuality. You have to keep at it though in order to beat that shame and guilt but it will go away and the more you indulge in making love to yourself, the quicker it will go away. | 2006-08-07 08:02:40 |
| 382 | 2481 | I have found this website a tremendous help in releasing shame and guilt about masturbating. It doesn't matter how many times you hear or read that 95% of people do it and the other 5% are liars, hearing from real women who share actual experiences& and how much they enjoy it& can help you realize you're not alone, it's natural, healthy and probably even necessary to a good sex life with a partner.& I remember reading a post that ended with "I LOVE MY PUSSY" and being& a little taken aback at first. Then I thought, "Why shouldn't she?", "Why shouldn't we all?" Jeez, I love my pussy, too. | 2006-08-27 19:25:15 |
| 382 | 2490 | Your absolutely right, it is fundamental for good sex life. Only women have a clitoris which is solely for her own pleasure and for no other purpose. men don't have such an organ.& Have you ever masturbated in front of your partner? That way she/he will get to know your method and rythem and will become better able to bring you to your orgasm. All women masturbate in different ways, from just sqeezing their thighs together to holding their clit and squeezing it. It would be interesting to start a poll to see the different methods used. Chris& & | 2006-08-28 04:56:37 |
| 383 | 2353 | So you see this theme popping up more and more in porn and I don't really know what to think of it yet.& We all know that most porn is extremely fake, and the majority of the things porn actors do, they do for visual reasons only.& It's definitely engrossing in terms of shock value, but I can't ever see myself trying it on someone I was with. So, the question is this: do people actually legitimately participate in fisting and/or large toy use?& Or is this something totally overhyped by the porn industry for its visual extremity? If anyone actually does participate in this, what led you to it?& What was the initial appeal?& It seems like a thing with such a long learning curve/transitional stage with so much discomfort or even pain that I have trouble believing anyone would go through it just to see if it might feel good (i.e. a lot of work for a questionable payoff), especially given the fact that most women respond far more to clitoral stimulation than vaginal. I know all the mechanics of it, I just don't understand the appeal. | 2006-08-10 18:55:24 |
| 383 | 2354 | I think porn that involves fisting, rape,& and female ejaculation (and perhaps other "unusual"& things that I can't think of off the top of my head) is& highly arousing& and I seek it in the extensive& amount of& pornography I download off the 'net.& Contrastingly, I utterly hate anal sex, blowjobs, and moneyshots.& I would think I'd find BDSM porn to be arousing, except all the videos I've seen so far of it are unarousing crap. Now personally, I haven't been laid in almost 5 years and I'm precisely 1 lay shy of being a total virgin anyway, but I still know I'd want to do the aforementioned things if I ever get my hands on a woman again (and god only& knows when that will be& :/ ) I have& a good internet friend who is an immense fan of fisting, and he has a serious (and highly attractive, I might say) girlfriend that he performs this on regularly.& I'll c/p a portion of a conversation in which we discussed this....& this segment& is rather old but I'm not going to search my whole friggin aim log for everything on the topic :P" [08:34:02] mavvyelite: recently got some anal beeds [08:34:24] piranha45X: heh, for u or ur gf? [08:34:45] mavvyelite: both [08:34:50] mavvyelite: OH [08:34:51] piranha45X: i assume it feels really good when you pull them out, after having shoved them way up there or something [08:34:55] mavvyelite: I Fisted her! [08:34:59] piranha45X: duuuuuuude [08:35:01] piranha45X: hahahah [08:35:03] piranha45X: was it hard? [08:35:12] piranha45X: how much prep time before the full fist went in? [08:35:19] mavvyelite: not really. just tooka while to get in [08:35:27] mavvyelite: 5-8 mins [08:35:31] mavvyelite: of working it [08:36:01] piranha45X: haha sweet, did she like it?& did you move ur fist or around or just rub her clit? [08:36:40] mavvyelite: yea she liked it [08:36:47] mavvyelite: I ate herout while doingit [08:37:08] piranha45X: did it take a ton of lube? [08:37:13] mavvyelite: not really [08:37:16] mavvyelite: 1 squirt [08:37:34] piranha45X: had she ever been fisted before? [08:37:47] mavvyelite: nope [08:37:50] mavvyelite: my fist is big too [08:37:59] mavvyelite: she didnt think Icould get it in [08:38:00] mavvyelite: originally [08:38:04] piranha45X: haha [08:39:07] mavvyelite: was fun [08:39:16] piranha45X: how tall is she? [08:39:22] mavvyelite: 5'8 [08:39:28] piranha45X: holy shit, oh ok [08:39:31] piranha45X: wow [08:39:36] piranha45X: shes a nice tall girl then [08:39:41] mavvyelite: yep [08:39:48] piranha45X: see now it woulda been hella hard if she was a 5'2 [08:39:48] mavvyelite: im 6 [08:39:53] mavvyelite: so its a perfect match [08:39:57] mavvyelite: yea" here's an interesting anecdote of fisting off everything2.com.... [url=www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=890911] www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=890911 and god bless wikipedia& :D [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisting]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisting | 2006-08-10 20:48:00 |
| 383 | 2355 | no offense, but that was precisely what I was NOT looking for.& I am not interested in male perception of extreme porn or the mechanics.& I am interested in what would motivate a woman to try something like this in outside of financial gain (i.e. in personal, private life) | 2006-08-10 21:27:43 |
| 383 | 2356 | the everything2.com link I dropped on the previous& post& offers a female perspective on fisting. | 2006-08-10 21:31:20 |
| 383 | 2358 | Hi, Fisting is a niche market. It is likely easier for female couples, and was the in thing for lesbians for a while, but I don't know that it is a common experience for any segment of the population. The reason it is often easier for female couples is that they have smaller hands. Here is an interesting account: [url=www.puckerup.com/index.php?section_id=375&] www.puckerup.com/index.php?section_id=375& Most people either don't believe it is possible or is harmful. For some women it happens without trying, as they have or can relax their pelvic muscles. Most probably will be challenged to stretch that far. Having given birth does not appear to influence whether they can. I have never fisted a woman but several have liked four fingers or a large dildo. If my hand had fit perhaps a couple would have liked to have been fisted. The dildos we have sold through the online store tend to be larger than your average penis. They are eye popping visually. When female friends saw some of them, that I have sold many of, at one of my public events they thought they were way to big, but who knows if they would try one if they had one. Since they are bought on line I am not sure everyone realizes how large they look, though we provide dimensions. One woman got her order and wrote to say it was simply way to large and wanted to return it, but later wrote back to say her gay male friend bought it from her. :-)) My impression is that women enjoy feeling full, which sometimes means inserting objects larger than a penis; sorry guys. :P Some have also enjoyed deep penetration. Brad | 2006-08-11 08:54:09 |
| 383 | 2359 | Ack, I wouldn't want to try it. I'm all on fitting Dilator 3 in which is smaller than the average penis. I certainly wouldn't want a fist putting in whether it was a smaller female fist or a male fist. | 2006-08-11 09:05:50 |
| 383 | 2361 | Hi, I can understand that, but some of the same techniques you are using to dilate your vagina they also use, but on a larger scale. Brad | 2006-08-11 09:40:14 |
| 383 | 2365 | Yeah, exactly. Larger scale...lol.:shock: Size, as in girth,& does mean everything to vag women. Just not in the same way as non vag women...lol.:D& Still, most women who have vag are happy enough just to be able to fit a penis inside them and don't really desire to be able to fit something much larger like a fist inside them. It would probably take months or years more hard work just for them to get there as it might have done just for them to get a penis in. Some take months just getting a cotton bud in or their small finger. Actually, I just remembered something I have noticed about myself. When I have inserted fingers or a dilator, even though it might not hurt if not too big, I find I can only move them so far to either side before they hit a bone and I feel like these bones are quite close together, especially if I'm doing it with the dilator which is larger than a finger, I feel like I can only move it a cm or so either way before it hits these bones. I doubt a fist could get past these bones. They are definitely bones, not muscles. Any ideas? Fisting doesn't seem to get mentioned very much when I read such things as people sharing sexual techniques and stating what they do in magazines and such. In fact, I never heard of or read about& anybody who did it until I read about it in clit.com. I see all the other more usual stuff such as oral sex and fingering, blow-jobs, anal sex etc.... I'll ask about this in the vag group, lol. See if any of the girls, some of which are now cured..would like to see what fisting is like for them. | 2006-08-11 11:18:08 |
| 383 | 2391 | Hi apologies for not replying to this sooner each time I wanted to I got interrupted. The thought of sharing and trusting to the extent that I would allow someone to vaginally fist me was a real turn on for me mentally. First of all the person would have to be really 'into' me personally and our communication between ourselves would have to be very intimate and honest to discuss the prospect of this taking place. A couple of years ago I did try this with a good friend of mine. It was out of this world for me and that floating away in exstacy really did happen for me. It was like receiving a magical gift. In the lead up to the special occasion we talked and talked. I think we talked about it for a good couple of months first. All the pros and cons, what could go wrong, why I wanted it, why he wanted to do it, the emotional side and above all, the mutual respect we had for each other. We discussed the physical side and exactly how we would achieve his whole hand inside me when I am rather small down there. The thought of it was scary but excitingly scary for me. When the day came it was like I wanted to be sick I was becoming quite numb with excitement and wariness on the drive up to the hotel. Despite our ages, we could wait no longer and never made it to the hotel. He pulled over the side of the road near by to some farm land. Pulled a blanket out of the back of the car and we went running into this huge field. After all that weeks of talking and the excitement building up, the actual physical process felt absolutely wonderful. The fisting did not hurt at all and was probably the single most exciting and pleasurable experience of my entire adult life. Because it was so wonderful I am not interested in repeating these actions. Like I said it was truly like someone gave me a very very special intimate gift and something that I will always treasure. I dont often talk about this special day and keep the good memory close to my heart so I dont really think I have answered your query at all today. If you want to ask any questions please ask. Princess :) | 2006-08-17 15:22:43 |
| 383 | 2392 | That's very cool that it was such a great personal experience for you, but how did you actually start thinking you wanted to try it?& I mean, who brought it up?& If it was your idea, what made it really click inside your head and made you say "I really seriously want to try this."& If it was his idea, at what point did you seriously think "you know, this is really worth trying." Maybe I'm a bit naieve here, but I really don't think many people would actually think this up on their own.& I think most people who try it have either heard about it or seen it elsewhere.& If that's the case, then I think that with this particular practice there is a world of difference between the visual appeal and the physical appeal unlike most other sexual practices (not counting the truly deviant stuff of course), and that crossing that threshold of watching to do doing must take something special. | 2006-08-17 20:31:36 |
| 383 | 2409 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "That's very cool that it was such a great personal experience for you, but how did you actually start thinking you wanted to try it? I mean, who brought it up? If it was your idea, what made it really click inside your head and made you say "I really seriously want to try this." If it was his idea, at what point did you seriously think "you know, this is really worth trying." Maybe I'm a bit naieve here, but I really don't think many people would actually think this up on their own. I think most people who try it have either heard about it or seen it elsewhere. If that's the case, then I think that with this particular practice there is a world of difference between the visual appeal and the physical appeal unlike most other sexual practices (not counting the truly deviant stuff of course), and that crossing that threshold of watching to do doing must take something special. " Hiya good questions :) It was all my idea something which I have had in my head for a long time. It was finding someone to share it with that was the problem. First talking about it with someone who was not offended or put off by the idea and who had the respect to become educated about all the pros and cons plus the physical aspect without simply diving in was a challenge. But fortunately during a friendly exchange of banter one evening with my friend online, he happened upon making a casual flirtatious remark about his unusual hand skills. We were talking about something completely unrelated to anything sexual at all but during our flirtatious conversation we ended up talking about fisting. I kept goading him into actually saying the word 'fisting' and when he eventually did use that word in a sentence I said "I have always wanted someone to say that" and there it was, the can of worms was well and truly open never to be closed again. What led me to think of this as something I would like to try? Well the thought of being that intimate and that trusting interests me. To think that I could be that open with my body. This was not a physical thing to try for me at all. It is more of an emotional one. The physical appearance side in the way it looks can be amazing but can be quite sickly as well. That was not it at all though. It was all based on thought. The breathing, the sharing, the trusting, the communication, the helplessness of the entire process, the being able to relax with someone to that extent while at the same time being completely consumed - all of these things are what held my imagination. I can honestly say that the reality of the experience far out wieghed the fantasy of being fisted. He made it so special and loving I have never ever experienced anything like it and doubt it can ever be experienced in quite the same way again. I was sexually abused as a girl and so was never a virgin per sae and dont have a first time experience to hold on to so I guess this is similar to that for me. Talking about the first time I shared myself completely without reservation or any hang ups what so ever. My mind, my body and my soul given to another for those minutes was awsome. It is quite difficult to explain so I hope that all made sense and carry on asking away it is much easier to answer questions than simply writing about it. Maybe one day I will :) Princess | 2006-08-19 13:15:29 |
| 383 | 6783 | Hi, My first time of experiencing fisting was when i was extremely horny and decided to use a whole shower head for it (i know not fisting but its bigger than my partner's fist). It was such a wonderful feeling and got me so close to wanting to cum, but then i noticed some blood and so I stopped with the shower head and just rubbed myself and then investigated where the blood was coming from. My partner and i once decided he would try to put his whole fist in me as i was SO horny and wanted to be stretched heaps far open - this particular session i bled too. I'm not sure why i bled, but i think perhaps it was because i was being stretched. My motive for doing it was to feel something big inside me, so big that i wanted it to feel like my whole pussy was eating something up [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img] | 2009-08-20 04:17:35 |
| 383 | 6787 | You probably bled because you stretched too much too fast. Going slower will give your body time to adjust to the stretching without tearing. | 2009-08-22 18:32:54 |
| 383 | 6788 | Yep I know. I've been going slower and been good so :) | 2009-08-22 20:21:10 |
| 383 | 6856 | Read "Is she Sane?" by "qay",submitted on April 23rd. 09 for an account of loving fisting. | 2009-09-15 01:16:13 |
| 384 | 2363 | Hello everyone. We all know of the general male tendancy to fall asleep straight after sex although we tend not to talk as much about the fact that this happens to women too although& I read up somewhere it takes a little longer for it to make us nod off than it does guys. Anyway, in the vag support group, somebody started a topic about the inability to orgasm and after a few replies of advice and such from me and others, I mentioned how I sometimes use orgasm to help myself get to sleep on nights where I just don't seem to be able to nod off. I know it works because I'm usually horny in the morning after a nights sleep and if I masturbate and have orgasms,& then I lay there afterwards for 10 minutes or so, I feel myself going back to sleep and I feel REALLY tired like I hadn't been to sleep all night. Anyway, using orgasm to get to sleep hasn't failed me yet but one of the other members brought up some questions as to why mother nature might have made our bodies want to sleep after orgasm or make us, well, some of us at least,& feel the need to masturbate in order to sleep. In fact, I'll go copy her post and paste it here...hang on..... Right, here it is.. "Hi Luth.. that's interesting.. I read somewhere that a lot of people, men and women, seem to use masturbation to help them fall asleep especially if they are quite stressed out some nights, like under exams and so on.. I wonder if it could mean that we do need some sort of sexual stimuli to be released physically or if it means that in those moments we would need someone to help us relax through love like a hug or massage or intimacy of non erotic kinds.. cause they make you fall asleep too.. SO is masturbation a way nature gave humans as a substitute for love ? Or is it something physical which nature gave us to release our tensions without hurting someone or without stressing our bodies ? Maybe it's both.. anyway, i'd be curious to hear any ideas you have.. take care :) primula" Note that my username in the group is Luthien94 but people call me Luth. Does anybody in here have any ideas they want to share?:) | 2006-08-11 10:07:11 |
| 384 | 2364 | Hi, Please see the following: abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=2270571&page=1 www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_250/271_love_tip.html Brad | 2006-08-11 10:56:29 |
| 384 | 2576 | ....but if you masturbate to get to sleep, I find getting sticky panties is an issue... it& is not just guys who get sticky...any other ladies have problems after masturbating that your panties get sticky?...gosh just humping a pillow, and when it dries it gets crusty | 2006-09-07 21:25:07 |
| 384 | 2582 | You aren't suppose to wear undies to bed!!! [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] Problem solved! :-)) Brad | 2006-09-07 21:54:54 |
| 384 | 2586 | You see, just from foreplay the undies do get sticky, but then I change into another pair after I clean myself up.& But when I go to bed, I don't wear any underwear.& Doctors actually recommend it.& The vagina needs to air out. | 2006-09-08 09:26:12 |
| 384 | 2587 | I tend not to wear anything in bed and don't wear underwear in bed at all. So...I don't have an issue with the stickiness. | 2006-09-08 10:53:59 |
| 386 | 2369 | Hi all, Great board:D I have a problem and i hope some of you can help. I cannot insert anything into my vagina,no tampon's, fingers etc. i have tried relaxing and using lube but no luck. Any suggestions? | 2006-08-13 09:06:36 |
| 386 | 2370 | Hi detective,,how old are you? are you a virgin? there is a kind of hymen that is very strong and the opening very small and can be corrected with minor surgery..good luck Luisa | 2006-08-13 10:13:21 |
| 386 | 2371 | Some more details about you would be helpful. Are you sure you know exactly where your vaginal opening is? Have you looked in a mirror and identified the different parts? One of the most common mistakes is that young girls just don't really know where abouts to insert and the angle. Brad did a good page about finding the vagina and inserting for the first time.& You should have a read of that. I'll have to go find the link for it though unless brad posts it first. Sometimes, hymens can cause a problem but it isn't overly common where you need surgery. Still, clit.com has some photos of hymens so you can have a look at yours and see if it appears to be causing an obstruction. If you are still worried, see a doc just to check that everything is ok but I bet it will be anyway. | 2006-08-13 11:28:20 |
| 386 | 2372 | Hiya, thanks for the help folks. I'm 30 i'm a virgin in the technical sense in that i have never had sex with the men folk but i have had with the ladies although i have never had any penetration. i'll have a little look for the link that canis suggested (thanks for that) perhaps that will be of some help. I'll let you all know how i get on:D & & | 2006-08-13 12:14:50 |
| 386 | 2375 | Hi, Please see the article linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm Brad | 2006-08-13 13:56:26 |
| 386 | 2577 | it may be something called imperforate hymen... | 2006-09-07 21:27:09 |
| 390 | 2383 | 2006-08-15 11:50:57 | |
| 391 | 2385 | I hear from various sources that the vaginal muscles contract and release rhythmically during orgasm (I assume this is analogous to the male's penis pumping during orgasm).& This would infer that these contractions are something that can be felt, if not by a penis then surely a finger.& However, I also hear that a female's orgasm cannot be detected by anyone other than herself. So is there a way to confirm orgasm beyond just taking your female's partner's word (and/or behavior) for it? I'd like clarification on this matter, thanks. | 2006-08-15 21:01:22 |
| 391 | 2386 | depends on the woman and the orgasm. | 2006-08-15 23:11:28 |
| 391 | 2387 | Hmm, I'm not sure really I do feel the contractions, involuntary ones when I orgasm but I could also fake them by contracting the muscles slightly of my own accord. Whether I guy could tell the difference between the two is another matter. I doubt it really. Still, I doubt I'd fake it but the reason so many women do is because they feel like they are under some sort of pressure to orgasm in order to comform to society's, and their partners,& expectations and they shouldn't feel that pressure. Often, it is down to the fact that they haven't communicated to their partner what they want and how they like it doing but it's also down to the fact that they are always expected to orgasm no matter what and, if they don't, it means there must be something wrong with them. Truth is, women aren't going to orgasm every single time and many might not orgasm at all or only occassionally. In the end, it does sort of depend on how good an actress the woman is. She'd need to have had actual orgasms and know what they feel like in order to pull a fakey off I think but then some guys might not know the difference either way. | 2006-08-16 10:14:11 |
| 391 | 2388 | I am not an expert on the subject, but I don't think I would say categorically that I know whether the woman I am with is having an orgasm or faking it.& In my opinion, the changes in the womens breathing and how she racts may be a better indicator.& When I am performing cunnilingus, I think I can tell most of the time, but& I don't think I can tell when& my penis is in her vagina.& The conclusion I came to a long time ago, is to enjoy what I am doing, do everything in my power to do what my partner wants and let the chips fall where they may.& The other side of the coin is that I no longer have an orgasm every time I have& intercourse.& & Because I had prostate surgery I do not squirt semen when I do orgasm, so does my partner know if I had an orgasm?& Maybe the point I am trying to make is don't worry about the orgasm, just enjoy the physical contact and relationship.& Fankly I enjoy cunnilingus so much that I couldn't care less about my orgasm.& I am sure that these views are a reflection of my age. | 2006-08-16 15:14:58 |
| 391 | 2389 | Hi, While I may have a greater knowledge of female sexuality than most it is not easy for me to tell if a woman has experienced orgasm. Vaginal muscle contractions have occurred during intense pleasure not just orgasm. If a woman's vagina is trying to push your penis, a toy, or your fingers out then that provides a strong indication of orgasm, but a woman must have strong pelvic muscles if that is to occur. If the woman happens to ejaculate that provides a more definitive indicator, and is partly why guys like it when women do ejaculate. When I have worked with couples the woman's partner is usually more aware of when she experiences orgasm than I, and that may be because they are more familiar with the responses of her body. I mention on the website how we are taught to expect and have fake orgasms by the media and mainstream adult video industry. This makes it easy, and common, for women to mislead their partner, for whatever reason. Brad | 2006-08-17 08:58:02 |
| 391 | 2393 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "If the woman happens to ejaculate that provides a more definitive indicator, and is partly why guys like it when women do ejaculate. " Also, the more subtle things that are either hard to fake, or that most people simply don't think to fake.& Things like the sudden flush of the skin (impossible to fake), ragged breathing, trembling muscles in other parts of the body, or lack of fine motor control.& Things that are taken only half seriously like the curling toes or eyes rolling back in the head may be exagerated in stories, but they do happen as well . The excessive moaning, screaming, head-thrashing, etc are the classic signs of a faker. | 2006-08-17 21:14:17 |
| 391 | 2395 | I never get the skin flushing anyway. I've never noticed it so that wouldn't be an issue if I was to fake but, saying that, I don't like the idea of faking and doubt I will. I'm not one for screaming the place down either, lol. I have to be quiet otherwise the parents would hear what I was doing. I also don't thrash my head...HAHA, thats funny. I often turn it to the side for some weird reason but I go way too tense and rigid to be able to thrash about....not until the release takes place anyway. During the build up, I'm almost paralyzed. & | 2006-08-18 08:54:10 |
| 391 | 2401 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, While I may have a greater knowledge of female sexuality than most it is not easy for me to tell if a woman has experienced orgasm. Vaginal muscle contractions have occurred during intense pleasure not just orgasm. If a woman's vagina is trying to push your penis, a toy, or your fingers out then that provides a strong indication of orgasm, but a woman must have strong pelvic muscles if that is to occur. . Brad " Hi all, So remeber ladies and gents!& & DO YOUR KEGELS!!& :P | 2006-08-19 05:28:48 |
| 391 | 2579 | I think the contractions of the vagina when they spasm are faster than& like voluntary flexing..I don't think those are faked.... | 2006-09-07 21:35:32 |
| 391 | 2585 | The reason why they are faster is because it's the back wall of the vagina pumping which is supposed to help sperm along.& I watched a sex documentary onTV with my boyfriend, we were flipping channels and it caught our eye.& It said that women that have orgasms are more likely to get pregnant than ones that don't, and it's because of the muscle that pumps to get the sperm helped along. | 2006-09-08 09:22:09 |
| 392 | 2390 | Hello, I've been a member for a number of months now and was a member of the previous Yahoo group which always had lively discussions. There does not appear to be many interesting discussions at the moment so I have what may be a new topic. Having been around for a good number of years, (I'm no longer& in the first flush of youth)& I have had, what I consider to be my fair share of relationships with ladies aged from 18& to 58 I have always been a great admirer of& women's beautifull "flowers" and their wonderfull variations. Most of the ladies I've known were quite flattered by my& interest. In my experience it seems that the older a woman gets so the size of her clitoris decreases. Is this something others in this group have noticed.?? Although the appearance of the older ladie's clitoris seems smaller than her younger sisters& they do seem to be far more sensitive and easier to orgasm. Comments from the ladies in the group would be appreciated. Chris & & & | 2006-08-17 10:57:17 |
| 392 | 2396 | I think that I'm in for some trouble if the clitoris does shrink, because mine's already pretty small. :shock:& Not to offend anyone, but I believe it probably appears to be smaller because as bodies age the skin tends to sag. :? But that's my guess. You also mentioned that the clitoris is more sensitive with your older mates than the younger ones? Or did I read that wrong? | 2006-08-18 17:43:29 |
| 392 | 2413 | When you say your clitoris is already very small,& are you comparing it with photos of others you've seen or pehaps you have seen others in the flesh? Does your clitoris protrude at all, or only if you draw the hood back?& I agree there could well be& the & shrinking effect& of age as with the rest of the body; however if your clitoris is being manipulated on a regular basis it should maintain it's original size,& don't you think? Yes, I did say that that& mature ladies do tend to have more sensitive clits. This may be because they not so inhibited as younger women& and are prepared to tell their partner how they like their clitoris manipulated and therefore able to let their& orgasm come more easily. I would be interested to hear more of your opinions, and your actual clit size. Chris& | 2006-08-20 04:46:39 |
| 392 | 2414 | Hi, With increasing age a woman's hormone levels decrease. The structures of the vulva increase in size during puberty, as a result of increasing hormone levels. So it makes sense then that with increasing age the structures of the would decrease in size. Brad | 2006-08-20 08:27:15 |
| 392 | 2416 | It's definitely smaller than the tip of my pinky finger. My boyfriend has told me that it's small.& Mine always protrudes out though since my hood is small. | 2006-08-20 10:14:24 |
| 392 | 2421 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "It's definitely smaller than the tip of my pinky finger. My boyfriend has told me that it's small.& Mine always protrudes out though since my hood is small. " If& your clitoris protrudes beyond your foreskin it may not be because your foreskin is small, it may be that your clitoral glans& is large. Can you feel the shaft of your clitoris behind your glans? In my experience most women's clits are completely hidden by their foreskin. In some cases& the glans of the clitoris will protrude but usually only when the clitoris is erect. My research on clitoris size shows that& the average clitoris, including the glans,& is& & 1& inch (2.5 cm) long. This is measured from where the clitoral shaft dissapears into the body to the tip of the glans. Most or all of which is covered by the foreskin. How do you compare? Chris & | 2006-08-20 11:31:22 |
| 392 | 2423 | [user=291]csenrab2002[/user] wrote: "[user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "It's definitely smaller than the tip of my pinky finger. My boyfriend has told me that it's small.& Mine always protrudes out though since my hood is small. " If& your clitoris protrudes beyond your foreskin it may not be because your foreskin is small, it may be that your clitoral glans& is large. Can you feel the shaft of your clitoris behind your glans? In my experience most women's clits are completely hidden by their foreskin. In some cases& the glans of the clitoris will protrude but usually only when the clitoris is erect. My research on clitoris size shows that& the average clitoris, including the glans,& is& & 1& inch (2.5 cm) long. This is measured from where the clitoral shaft dissapears into the body to the tip of the glans. Most or all of which is covered by the foreskin. How do you compare? Chris & "I know for sure mine isn't an inch long.& & It just protrudes, I can feel the shaft underneath skin, but never does it come out. I usually rub against the shaft when I masturbate because my clit can be too sensitive. | 2006-08-20 22:02:58 |
| 392 | 2438 | You say your clitoris& "just" protrudes. Are you talking about& the foreskin and surrounding tissue of your clitoris that protrudes, or is it the glans of your clitoris that protrudes? You said in an earlier post& that your foreskin was small so I'm assuming that it's your glans that is prominent. Compare yourself with the Vulva Galleries, which is most like you? Chris & | 2006-08-22 05:41:42 |
| 392 | 2441 | my glans are what protrude.& | 2006-08-22 15:16:12 |
| 392 | 4031 | I am in my late thirties (Ok, I am 39)& and have not been sexually active for 11 months. & My husband is deployed and I don’t even masturbate. I just noticed last night that my clitoris disappeared!:shock: He is about to come back home and now I wonder what is wrong with me. Is this related to age or to the lack of sexual stimulation? Should I still be able to have orgasms and feel pleasure? | 2007-04-10 12:59:58 |
| 392 | 4034 | Hi, I would recommend seeing a doctor, as this should not occur in a 39 year old women. The clitoris may decrease in size some after menopause. Lack of sexual activity wouldn't cause it to disappear, or shrink. Brad | 2007-04-10 17:04:34 |
| 392 | 4098 | Actually Brad, it is just the opposite.& It has been known for a long time that the clitoris does not shrink from menopause, the increase or decrease in estrogen has absolutely no effect on the size of the clitoris.& Recent studies, including ones conducted using MRI's, show this to be true.& However, overtime it is possible for the glans of the clitoris to protrude more from beneath the clitoral hood due to consistantly pleasurable stimulation giving the effect of it actually enlarging.& There has been evidence that clitoris's do actuall enlarge during pregnancy and inmost cases return to their usual size afterwards.& But if you have ever witnessed a woman;s genitals during pregnancy, they get very large all over during the last trimester. Communication and feelings of intimacy for a woman has a huge impact of the accessability of the clitoris.& It makes perfect sense that after being apart from your significant other you are wanting time to get reconnected emotionally before having sexual contact.& You have both had many experiences you have probably not talked about like you usually do when around each other on a daily basis.& It is probably just time for a little catch up. | 2007-04-16 17:36:56 |
| 392 | 4170 | Hello again: I just want to let you know that my sexual energy came back and I am enjoying every minute with my husband:D. Irresistible was absolutely right when she said that it is important for women to get reconnected emotionally. After 15 years of marriage, I am& still madly in love with him:-X. & @};-Thank you all for replying to me. @};- | 2007-05-03 09:06:03 |
| 392 | 4171 | I take it that you found your clitoris? ;) | 2007-05-04 12:44:24 |
| 394 | 2397 | I have come across many people with their different opinions about this sexual preference.& I believe that it is possible for someone to like and enjoy both genders.& I don't see that it is wrong because why not enjoy both if you like both.& Whether you lean toward one more than the other. A few people that I am either related to either through blood or friendship believe that you are either homosexual or heterosexual.& You can't like both genders.& If you like someone of the same sex, you're gay.& No if's or but's about it! I am just curious about what you all think about it.& | 2006-08-18 19:28:10 |
| 394 | 2403 | Hi all, While I am only in the bi-curious phase, I cannot add much to your understanding, but I can provide some comfurt!& & I whole heartdly think it is a FACT, that& a person could enjoy both genders....... | 2006-08-19 05:44:34 |
| 394 | 2407 | I'm heterosexual but I do know and have known people who like both genders so& I believe it is certainly possible. There are a lot of people, even those who are normally heterosexual, that might have a smaller bisexual streak and show the odd bit interest with the same sex on occasion. I suppose bisexual people find that they can get the best of both worlds if they have been with partners of both genders. | 2006-08-19 11:19:15 |
| 394 | 2425 | Bisexuality& it seems is more acceptable to women than to men. I mean that women do not have negative& feelings about& women loving other women, they understand what love is& better than men. Love between women is more beautiful and easily expressed, whether that love is sexual or not.& & It just seems much easier, and dare& I say more natural, for women to love one another Chris& & | 2006-08-21 06:22:00 |
| 394 | 2427 | I wouldn't say it was more natural for guys to suppress their emotions in the name of so called manliness. If guys were too affectionate with each other, whether gay or straight, they'd be branded gay, plain and simple. Society dictates that men do not have feelings and do not express emotion otherwise they are wuss's...and, unfortunately, most of them are slaves to it. Doesn't mean it is natural though. I don't know of any other species where the males show less affection than the females whether it be primates, whales and dolphins, dogs, cats, you name it. Of course, females are often a little more affectionate because they are usually the ones caring for young and such& but males of any of these species will show affection quite happily as well and not just to females and young. They show it to each other as well. Doesn't make them any less male so why should it make a human any less male. I read up that the suicide rate is higher in men than women and is rising....and this attitude that dictates no emotion is allowed in men is whats to blame for it happening. Men can't vent and get their feelings out like women can so it just builds up inside until it eventually destroys them. Proof that it isn't natural to keep it all bottled in so as not to appear as a wuss. | 2006-08-21 09:52:40 |
| 394 | 2432 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote"I read up that the suicide rate is higher in men than women and is rising....and this attitude that dictates no emotion is allowed in men is whats to blame for it happening. Men can't vent and get their feelings out like women can so it just builds up inside until it eventually destroys them. Proof that it isn't natural to keep it all bottled in so as not to appear as a wuss. " You couldn't have hit it any better on the nose.& Due to the way society views the male species, they have trouble expressing themselves.& Men are to be macho, and protecting and not a bunch of weaklings like the female gender.& It's like my boyfriend for an example.& He will not tell me anything that upsets him, or if he's sad about something.& Nor does he cry.& He said he's been raised that way, that men don't cry.& I think it's wrong.& Real men cry.& | 2006-08-21 15:21:02 |
| 394 | 2434 | Of course bisexuality exists.& However, not everyone who claims to be bisexual really is. Others have already said that female-female sex is far more tolerated than male-male sex, but it goes even further than that.& Female-female sex is either overtly or secretly approved of by most males, and at the least not dismissed by a lot of females. People call it a double standard, but I think it has something to do with our primal instincts.& Most social animals breed in the same way, and by that I mean that there is a dominant male and his harem of females.& Because society represses that instinct via marriage or other social strictures, I think female-female sex is tolerated among men as a sort of proxy for the instinct to find multiple partners. Anyhow, my point is that female-female sex is more tolerated and approved of, and because that is becoming more and more well known amongst youth, I think a lot of younger women experiment with other women as a means of control, gaining attention, or otherwise being provocative.& I know several women who called themselves bisexual when they were in their mid-late teens and in college, but who now consider themselves straight.& Very few of them stop considering themselves bi and move to strictly being lesbian.& Some of them even openly called themselves lesbian despite frequently (or even exclusively) dating men, and now call themselves straight.& A lot of it involved kissing girls in the open public in plain view, sometimes holding hands, etc.& Rarely did these girls actually engage in intimate sex. As a result of that, I tend not to take younger women seriously who claim to be bisexual or lesbian. | 2006-08-21 20:01:05 |
| 394 | 2439 | Yes, I agree, a lot of young women do it simply to impress the guys who have a thing about female on female action. I have noticed this male obsession with lesbianism too. A lot of porn aimed at guys is full of lesbian sex because they like it so much and even straight girls will get in on the action in order to get themselves noticed and meet approval. I read where one guy stated that they like lesbians because the thought of themselves turning her straight was a huge turn on...made them feel like an exceptional guy....the type that was able to turn her straight alongside all those guys that couldn't. He talked about it in a general manner, implying that it was a general thinking amongst men and that his mates and other blokes he knew all pretty much had the same view. I don't know whether that is true or not and I'm sure things will be massively different in different areas and countries etc... I think they look a lot less favourably on male gays because, as I mentioned above, affection between males is not acceptable in society and most straight guys are conditioned by this to the point that any type of affection that does happen is disgusting. They also have this intense fear of being fancied by another bloke....LOL. It is more acceptable between women because we are more affectionate anyway...even with female friends we have never been sexual or ever intend to be sexual with. Also, with female on female, there is no actual bodily appendage like a penis involved. Only fingers and dildos. I'm not sure about the harem habit amongst humans even in the past though. I do know that more males die in infancy than females and so slightly more sperm are male so that slightly more male babies are born and then after their higher mortality rate, the sexes even out. You can view this in any population pyramid. This would suggest that there wouldn't be enough females for each male to have several each. Some species engage in the harem habit but females usually outnumber males in these species to make up for it. As humans were a tribal species who lived in family units, I never heard anything about clans of young males expelled from these family units as a threat by current older males and living in groups that occassionally attacked tribes in order to take over as the resident males themselves. This is generally what happens within species where there is a harem habit. Young males would be invaluable to a group ot humans in order to hunt for meat too, females often pregnant or feeding young children meaning they can't do it and their few males unable to bring enough back for all. Can't really see it working. Still, who knows, humans could have developed monogamous bonds like many other species such as wolves and many birds, we might have chosen different partners each time depending on who we thought was the most suitable which is a viable option. A lot of the things that women look for in guys today suggest that, underneath, we crave a guy that is going to be dependable, going to look after us, be faithful and protective as well as being strong and healthy. This shows that women, at least, do have the assertiveness to be able to choose her own partner, not have some male force himself upon her just because he beat the other males off. After all, she had to know she was making the right choice for her and her offspring and within a species as mentally advanced as ours, even back then, temperament would have been as important as physical attributes. | 2006-08-22 10:38:48 |
| 394 | 2440 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: " I'm not sure about the harem habit amongst humans even in the past though. I do know that more males die in infancy than females and so slightly more sperm are male so that slightly more male babies are born and then after their higher mortality rate, the sexes even out. You can view this in any population pyramid. This would suggest that there wouldn't be enough females for each male to have several each. Some species engage in the harem habit but females usually outnumber males in these species to make up for it. As humans were a tribal species who lived in family units, I never heard anything about clans of young males expelled from these family units as a threat by current older males and living in groups that occassionally attacked tribes in order to take over as the resident males themselves. This is generally what happens within species where there is a harem habit. Young males would be invaluable to a group ot humans in order to hunt for meat too, females often pregnant or feeding young children meaning they can't do it and their few males unable to bring enough back for all. Can't really see it working." Only 3-5% of animals are monogamous.& If you look at ancient cultures, most of them are either outright polygamous or had some kind of harem/mistress system which indicates a history of a dominant male taking multiple females.& I imagine it was initially the concerns of tracing bloodlines that started the practice of monogamy in early civilization, and later religion would have something to say about that as well. Remember that the human species is MUCH older than civilization. | 2006-08-22 14:11:09 |
| 394 | 2442 | The girl I will be rooming with when I'm at school is a lesbian.& I hung out with her during the previous semester and our conversation (between another friend and us) was about sexuality.& She absolutely hates it when girls put a front out saying they are bisexual or a lesbian when they really aren't because being homosexual is one of the hardest lifestyles.& I'm 19, I consider myself heterosexual.& But deep down inside I'm very curious what it is like to be with a woman.& I have kissed and made-out with some of my high school friends that were girls, and I did like it, but I'm not going to go around saying I'm bi due to many reasons. | 2006-08-22 15:19:35 |
| 394 | 2444 | [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale I've never in my life subconsciously or consciously dreamt of kissing another male, so I'd rate myself a 0 on that thing. I'd like to say im genetically inclined to be a 0, but who knows how things might have been if I'd been raised in these sort of circumstances: [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty | 2006-08-23 04:54:04 |
| 394 | 2499 | My guess is that there are many, many shades of grey. I've always considered myself 100% heterosexual. Recently, though, I've taken notice of some women's bodies while walking on crowded streets -- usually their bums. :shock:& It kind of freaked me out, but I seem to be more sexual lately for some reason and I don't have an outlet right now, so maybe that's got something to do with it. I read something on this website about how our society practically worships the female physique, so it seems perfectly natural that almost anyone could find some women attractive. Also there seemed to be& a pitiful shortage of quality male posterior on those days! >:)& What was reassuring to my own security in terms of sexual preference is that I realized I didn't fantasize about having sex with any of the women with the sexy behinds. I fantasize about my own body being that attrative. I was envious. I think I have digressed though in discussing my own preferences. Yes, I think people can be attracted to both sexes. | 2006-08-28 20:02:08 |
| 394 | 2510 | It is normal and usual for women to "Check out the competition", and compare themselves with other women. All women do this. They see other attractive women and they check them out but it has nothing to do with sexual attraction so to speak. If you haven't felt a desire to want to engage in sexual acts with women then you are just doing what all us women do and checking out your rivals in this world. | 2006-08-29 17:04:16 |
| 394 | 2511 | Hmmm. I guess you're right, Canis. It was mildly titillating, though, to look at some nicely shaped buttocks. Not very proud of the envy thing, but we're all human. I'd like to think my tushy is not too shabby. | 2006-08-29 18:00:16 |
| 394 | 2514 | Since I seem to be developing an alter-ego on this board, I thought I'd share something else. The fantasy I most often use when making love to myself involves several male "students" and one attractive lesbian teacher (with a really nice behind). I am the subject matter and she is teaching them how to please me with their fingers, lips, tongues. Of course, she is the best, having the most experience as well as personal knowledge, but they are all such good students! I guess I do have a little bit of latent lesbian in me, but I would never actually do this in reality. | 2006-08-29 18:47:19 |
| 394 | 2516 | Hi nomore...great handle..wwe all have diffferent tendencies and sex still very much exploited by many...but you having lesbian or bisexual feelings doesn't mean you are one. On the other hand experimenting is not a crime and oyu are in the right track we know better than boys where and how to aoruse a woman, Luisa | 2006-08-29 19:27:33 |
| 394 | 3941 | I personally think that people can get enjoyment out of both sexes so why can't they be bisexual? Personally speaking I've been in a few 3somes with 2 guys and 1 girl, in some of these 3somes there has been some oral between the guys. I would say that the first time I tried it I was aprehensive but the lady involved had wanted to see it and since I had the opportunity to see her with another woman (her choice not forced), I figured well why not try and see what happens. Today I will admit that I do enjoy an aspect of giving a guy oral, however I cannot see myself involved in a 1 on 1 senario or in a relationship with a guy. I don't know if that makes much sense or not, but hey that's the way it is...lol.& Hmmm come to think of it, how much sense does it make that I haven't had a problem giving a& blow job but the thought of kissing a guy turns me off totally??? | 2007-03-26 11:47:25 |
| 396 | 2410 | Ok, so I'm due on. Thing is, the last two months, I haven't had a period. I'm on the pill and have been for several years but I normally still bleed during my seven day break. I take it because I don't want to go back to being laid up in agony every month like I was before along with all the other problem such as being so heavy, I had to change every hour, painful, swollen boobs, acne outbreaks that were worse than what I get now and all that. I hated it and hate the thought of going back to it. If I don't bleed this time, I think I'll have to go see the doc. I have a work colleague who didn't have a period for 6 months and she got checked out and it turned out she had PCOS and her treatment is...HAHA...the pill. The good thing about this is that I haven't had to use pantyliners which is what I use for the lighter periods I get these days. I don't need night time max absorbent sanitory towels all the time& like I did before, lol. Still, in the few months leading up to the periods ceasing, I noticed that the pantyliners seemed to cause irritation to my clitoris and I'd feel shooting pains in it but they'd go away again once I came off and stopped using the pantyliners. Any ideas? I'm not underweight or overweight and I'm not suffering abnormal amounts of stress or anything. Nothing I don't get normally anyway. I'll let you know if I do come on. I'm going to do some photography tomorrow at a horse event my sister is competing in so if i'm going to come on, it will surely be in time for that....as all of us women know...lol.:P | 2006-08-19 16:41:50 |
| 397 | 2411 | I am wondering if there is something wrong with me.& I can't masturbate and have nice 'romantic' thoughts.& I try and it just doesn't work.& Where some women fantasize about men taking a dominant roll yet still caring for the woman's needs, my fantasise consistantly involve me being the victim of rape.& Not a 'clean cut Hollywood' rape, but a dirty violent rape which involves me being cut, degraded, and mutilated.& Always at the end I take control and kill the rapist.& I don't actually kill him, I torture him to death and then mutilate his corpse.& This isn't right, I know it isn't.& In real life I am petrified of being raped.& Since I was young I have had rape fantasies and never understood why.& In the past 2 years my fantasies have become increasingly& violent. & When I am with a man I am always the more dominant in the bedroom department.& I just feel like such a sick freak.& :( | 2006-08-19 19:24:40 |
| 397 | 2415 | It's only a fantasy i wouldn't get to worked up about it. I would worry if you find yourself reinacting them in real lfe though. | 2006-08-20 10:00:40 |
| 397 | 2417 | Exactly.& Many people fantasize about other dangerous things, but they don't act upon it since it could harm others or themselves.& You're fine as long as you don't reinact your fantasy. | 2006-08-20 10:15:49 |
| 397 | 2419 | Hi, Others have written to me about the same and I knew a woman that was uncomfortable with fantasies of this type. They are normal. I went to a BDSM convention for "educational" [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] purposes and one of the workshops I attended was about fantasies, specifically fantasies that would be considered inappropriate outside the fantasy realm of things. They appear to be pretty common. You may want to read my advise give in the Q&A section of the main website. Brad | 2006-08-20 10:39:48 |
| 397 | 2464 | I'm not a psychologist, but I did hear one once say that women (and perhaps men, too, I don't know) often have fantasies that involve being raped if they have been taught that their own sexual pleasure or sex itself is wrong or bad or shameful. Rape would be the only way they could be "allowed" to have sex with someone. She said it was common amongst nuns. It sounds like you may not have been allowed to develop a healthy attitude about sex and your own body and sexual desire, but again, I'm not a psychologist. Perhaps if you're really uncomfortable with your fantasies you could talk to a therapist about them. Good luck. | 2006-08-27 11:54:27 |
| 397 | 2475 | Yes, this is true. If a woman is not permitted to be openly sexual then her fantasies may involve force so she doesn't feel guilty for being sexual. Of course she may feel guilty about the nature of her fantasies. Brad | 2006-08-27 15:27:59 |
| 397 | 2496 | as a male, i fantasize about raping (being the rapist) a fair deal of the time, and seek out& porn that depicts rape (most of this porn generally sucks in my experience) often.& & I fancy thoughts of& necrophilia too.& I got over my shame/modesty& about it, and I wholeheartedly I suggest others do the same in regards to their "emberassing" sexual fetishes. | 2006-08-28 16:32:11 |
| 397 | 2502 | uh, fantasizing about raping someone is entirely different from fantasizing about being raped.& i strongly suggest you speak to someone about that. | 2006-08-28 21:04:01 |
| 397 | 2505 | Hi, It still has to do with control, taking rather than giving up control. I believe that as long as you aren't acting on these rape fantasies there isn't a problem. A lot of people enjoy blood and gut movies but we seem to consider that normal. Brad | 2006-08-29 11:41:13 |
| 397 | 2506 | Yes, they both generally have to do with control on a superficial level, but the fantasy about being raped is more a result of guilt and shame issues than control issues.& As people have said, the rape fantasy alleviates the person of any responsibility for the sex, so they feel no guilt over it.& Fantasies that are directly about giving up control& tend to be along the BDSM lines.& Fantasizing about raping another person is directly about exerting control over someone against their will. Most importantly, though, is the fact that a person who fantasizes about being raped can't make the fantasy real.& You can't go out and intentionally get raped.& A person with control issues that fantasizes about rape can easily move their fantasies into the real world. | 2006-08-29 13:47:50 |
| 397 | 2507 | True, but we have all momentarily wanted to kill some one but we don't actually do it. There is a big difference between thinking about doing something and doing it. If you start planning and/or stalking a potential victim then it has become a problem. | 2006-08-29 16:13:12 |
| 398 | 2418 | Ok, so i get ingrown hairs alot... At the moment i have one, and it popped & pus & blood came out of it, but i cant see the hair inorder to tweeze it out... I dont want to pick at it & cause it to get worse... will it come out on its own or will it close up again & i'll have to go through this yet again... Any suggestions? | 2006-08-20 10:31:33 |
| 398 | 2420 | Hi, Once you drain the hair follicle and clean it then all you can do is cross your fingers and hope you got the hair out, or if the hair came out, it doesn't close up again. They sell products that are suppose to reduce ingrown hairs but I don't know how well they work. Shaving isn't for every one, even if they want to or prefer it. Brad | 2006-08-20 10:47:53 |
| 398 | 2431 | Very true, Brad.& Problem is, many want to keep shaving, but they don't keep up with it in order to not get the ingrown hair. | 2006-08-21 15:16:30 |
| 400 | 2451 | I just thought this would be a good topic.& Most people have to have had some time when they did something that embarrassed them and they just wanted to hide from there partner.& Most embarrassing thing for me: My boyfriend and I were doing some foreplay, and we thought I should pop my porno in that I have.& Mind you, I only have a girl on girl DVD.& Popping that video in had to be the most stupidest thing to do.& I had never felt so embarrassed in my life.& I was showing him my favorite scene, and he pretty had the, "wow this is really stupid" kinda face.& So, I just shut the TV off, and went for plan B. | 2006-08-24 20:27:15 |
| 400 | 2452 | Now explain plam B and what were the affects. I'd love to hear how you became comfortable again. Embarrassing moments are all in your mind Enjoy | 2006-08-25 08:14:28 |
| 400 | 2453 | Just started teasing each other on our own.& And then went from there.& Pretty much forgot about the porn. :P Today we didn't really have an embarrassing moment, but for some reason our bodies were making a weird sound when we were in the moment, and I couldn't help but crack up.& He started laughing with me, so it was all good. :) | 2006-08-25 11:20:13 |
| 400 | 2455 | My man and I are in a long distance relationship...(Long distance with me in the states and him in the UK& :( ) So we have phone sex.& It’s a way to relax and to feel closer, not to mention when he comes to visit we both know what we like and it can cut down on awkward moments.& But that doesn’t mean that we haven’t had embarrassing moments.& Sometimes between his gorgeous accent and the phone connection things can get um...lost.& And it makes for some pretty uncomfortable moments.& But I think the most embarrassing is trying to tell him about things that I might like and worrying that the mail man or someone might come to the door (My room unfortunately is right by the front door and since its summer the only want to keep it cool is to have the window open) but besides that I tend to be really self conscious so trying to tell him what I like or how I think trying anal would be interesting can be well...interesting. Especially when I don’t know how he will react.& [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img] | 2006-08-26 00:05:38 |
| 401 | 2454 | Just recently...and why recently I mean today.& I got some toys (vibrator and such) and it was really nice to have something that’s meant to be a toy inside of having to go hunting and find something that might or might not really be good to use.& Anyway....I was wondering if any of you had some sex toys that you swear by or would be fun to try.& I guess something like a recommendation.& Also, do you and your SO use toys and what do you like to use? & Thanks Kit | 2006-08-25 23:56:45 |
| 402 | 2457 | I only know how to orgasm when I press my legs together. I think I was really afraid of my sexuality when I was young, so I never touched myself. But one day I discovered that after pressing my thighs together for a while, I reached a really nice sensation in my vagina, so I just kept doing this. I never learned how to climax with clitoral stimulation, so when I try to do that instead of pressing my legs together, I feel very little. I do get aroused, but it's just like... my brain doesn't know how to take THAT arousal to orgasm. I have 2 problems with pressing my legs together to get to orgasm: 1) It is SO exhausting!! My legs get so tired it actually hurts 2) I can't do it in front of my boyfriend -- it's too embarrassing. And also, as a result of not knowing how to climax with clitoral stimulation, I can't climax when we're having sex at all -- even when he stimulates me manually or gives me oral sex. Help! Is there a way I can learn to climax with clitoral stimulation? | 2006-08-26 09:21:52 |
| 402 | 2458 | Hi, If you read through the Q&A on the main website you will find this is not that unusual of an experience. I would recommend trying a vibrator or muscle massager, as they provide strong and sustained stimulation. This may help you get beyond this barrier. Once you learn to experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation then you are more likely to experience orgasm during partnered sex. You should also stimulate your brain through fantasy, erotic reading, images, or video. You do not want to be thinking about what you are doing, experiencing, or feeling, as then your brain is in a logical rather than sexual mode. I would explain all this to your boyfriend so he knows why you are not experiencing orgasm, that it isn't his fault, or yours. You are not abnormal or weird so there is no need to hide this aspect of your sexuality. You can then decide whether to share your orgasms with him. Never fake orgasm, as that tends to dig a hole you cannot get yourself out of. Brad | 2006-08-26 10:25:44 |
| 402 | 3579 | Hi, I just started a thread 'Female Masturbation by pumping thighs' can you have a read and let me know if this is similar to what you do..? Thanks | 2007-01-21 04:37:12 |
| 404 | 2462 | Has anyone on this forum gone off an SSRI because of anorgasmia? How long did it take for your orgasm to return? I just went off citalopram (Celexa) because it caused anorgasmia and I couldn't tolerate it. I haven't had an orgasm in over a month, but I still have a fair amount of desire so I would try to masturbate, but get to the point where you know it's about to happen (pussy swells up even more, entire body gets tense, breathing gets rapid, can't help but let a few noises out) and it doesn't happen. So I keep going and keep going and keep going and it still doesn't happen. It's enormously frustrating. I've been off the Celexa for four days now and still can't orgasm. I've tried to masturbate every day since going off it& because I have so much pent up desire, but it's still not happening. Anyone? How many days? I can't take much more of this. :( | 2006-08-27 09:59:06 |
| 404 | 2472 | Hi, The technical answer to your question: "Celexa's Half-Life & Average Time to Clear Out of Your System: Half-life is 35 hours. So it's out of your system within 6-8 days." The above is from the following website: www.crazymeds.org/celexa.html The psychological aspects are much harder to address and predict. Have you tried using a vibrator, a muscles massager, or water spray for increased sustained stimulation? What are you using for mental stimulation, if anything? You need to keep your brain focused on sex and not what you are doing or feeling. Brad | 2006-08-27 15:14:09 |
| 404 | 2476 | Thanks, Brad. I know it's the Celexa and not a psychological thing because I've been on it twice and both times it robbed me of my orgasm. I don't have any trouble when not on the meds. Unfortunately, I don' remember now long it took for my orgasm to return the last time I went off it. I've never tried a vibrator or a water spray. My fingers work very well and I have really intense sensations, so intense I can't help but moan (normally I can be quiet if I think anyone will hear me).& I just& can't finish even if I keep& at it& until I'm too worn out to continue. I love my pussy, but it's broken right now. Guess I'll just have to wait& until the end of the week. It's not that long. & | 2006-08-27 16:20:59 |
| 404 | 2512 | Since my post has had a few dozen views, I thought I'd& update& those who are curious. I am happy to report that my pussy is back in business. That was one loooooong seven days, but pure ecstasy! :-)):-)):-)):-)):-)):-)) & | 2006-08-29 18:11:34 |
| 404 | 2538 | [user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user] wrote: "Has anyone on this forum gone off an SSRI because of anorgasmia? How long did it take for your orgasm to return? I just went off citalopram (Celexa) because it caused anorgasmia and I couldn't tolerate it. I haven't had an orgasm in over a month, but I still have a fair amount of desire so I would try to masturbate, but get to the point where you know it's about to happen (pussy swells up even more, entire body gets tense, breat hing gets rapid, can't help but let a few noises out) and it doesn't happen. So I keep going and keep going and keep going and it still doesn't happen. It's enormously frustrating. I've been off the Celexa for four days now and still can't orgasm. I've tried to masturbate every day since going off it because I have so much pent up desire, but it's still not happening. Anyone? How many days? I can't take much more of this. :( " Hello in May 2004 I had to take citalopram as well. In October 2004 I stopped taking them for the same reason you state, no orgasms yet lots of desire plus what was causing me to be anxious had subsided so I felt it was time to come off them. It was only in the February of the following year that I started to orgasm regularly again and that was with the use of a vibrator at first for for the first few months. The only way I could feel anything that could build up to an orgasm of any kind was with my Partner using the vibrator on me after penetration. Oral stimulation and fingers etc just felt nice but did not lead anywhere. It was very very very frustrating and it made me feel like half a woman. In my experience and from talking with many many women who have taken a form of antidepressant for more than a couple of months, it basically takes about the same amount of time you were on the tablets for to regain all the nerve sensations fully. Sounds bleak I know but try not to get worked up about it. A vibrator will help to build up the nerves and the sensations they can receive to send signals to your brain. Sorry I could not be of more help today. It is one of those things that people dont know before they start taking these things. My doctor simply would not discuss the adverse lack of ability to orgasm after coming off these things. It seems that quite a few professionals are reluctant as they see antidepressants as a one stop shop cure all the things that are making you upset or anxious in the first place. But that is a whole other debate. Princess | 2006-09-01 05:48:43 |
| 404 | 2543 | Thanks, Princess. I'm having success with self pleasure now. One of the interesting bits of information I found online is that the reason the sexual side effects the drug companies and doctors cite are so low is that the first studies done relied on patients reporting those effects unprompted. Many or even most people are uncomfortable talking about such matters with their doctors or with researchers. When they were asked specifically about sexual side effects, the numbers increased dramatically to something like 75% in some cases. My therapist says she has never known anyone who took an SSRI and did NOT have sexual side effects. What seems to be weird about my experience is that I had plenty of sensation and reached that familiar "point of no return" where you know you're going to be flying in two more seconds, but it wouldn't happen no matter how long I continued to stimulate myself. It was hell. But I'm off the meds and happily climaxing again. :) | 2006-09-01 19:21:09 |
| 405 | 2466 | Hi, I masturbate with my fingers some times, so I don't think my hymen is completely intact. Just out of curiosity, what does an intact hymen look like? (picture please). thanks alot. | 2006-08-27 13:30:47 |
| 405 | 2469 | Kay there is no an standard fro hymens, just a piece of whitish tissue around the opening of the vagina, some of us have more than others and some have to be surgically removed becasue they are very strong(No many) Luisa | 2006-08-27 14:04:26 |
| 405 | 2470 | www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_hymen.htm the site has some pictures of various kinds of hymens. | 2006-08-27 15:07:33 |
| 406 | 2492 | In my experience most of the women I've known have a clitoral foreskin/prepuce that entirely covers the clitoral shaft and glans. They& tend to manually retract the foreskin to gain a greater degree of pleasure However there have been& some exceptions where the clitoral glans protrudes quite noticeably beyond the foreskin when the clitoris is in an unaroused state.& Apart from& looking very erotic, the clitoris is far easier especially when aroused to manipulate& both manually and orally, to the complete satisfaction of the lady concerned. I have read that more women are going for the surgery called "Hoodectomy" in order to enhance their ability to orgasm witha partner. Is it therefore unusual for a woman to have a protruding glans? Chris | 2006-08-28 05:40:18 |
| 406 | 2495 | Mine doesn't show unless I retract the hood but if it did, it would be less of an advantage because direct touch is too much for mine. I have orgasm after orgasm from indirect stimulation through the hood so it isn't an issue for me. When I have cleaned it and such or looked to make sure it is ok on occasion, touching the glans directly is very uncomfortable. I certainly wouldn't have hood removed to make it show. | 2006-08-28 10:00:03 |
| 406 | 2504 | Yes, I& understand that the glans in most women is very very sensitive.& I assume then that& you advise your partner accordingly? & | 2006-08-29 06:28:20 |
| 406 | 2509 | I don't have a partner. I'm single. I suffer from vaginismus and cannot have IC because of it so most guys wouldn't want me anyway. | 2006-08-29 17:00:23 |
| 406 | 2522 | So pleasuring yourself is your only option at the moment? Presumably a prospective& partner would be male?& If so, don't& those potential partners realise there is more to sex than penetration. To understand how a lady likes to be pleasured it's best to know how she pleasures hereself and i've yet to meet a lady who penetrates herself as a masturbatory technique. & | 2006-08-30 09:32:11 |
| 406 | 2525 | [user=291]csenrab2002[/user] wrote: "If so, don't& those potential partners realise there is more to sex than penetration. " Is this a rhetorical question? lol | 2006-08-30 14:04:50 |
| 406 | 2526 | It seems that many males don't realise there is more to sex than penetration. Many other women in the vag support group tell about how their partners/husbands often do a range of things such as cheat, divorce, leave, pressure them into anal sex or make them give blow-jobs without returning anything because they believe the woman owes them something because she can't give them IC but that they owe her nothing in return. Recently, a woman, recently married, from the middle-east somewhere said about how she and her new husband had tried IC a few times and failed and he was getting frustrated and had now suggested doing anal sex instead because he thinks he& needs penetration to get satisfaction. The woman was scared and repulsed by the idea of having anal sex but the pressure was on. Some idiot in the support group told her she should try it anyway despite that fact that she said she didn't want to& because they had and liked it...so she did....and hated it, never wants to do it again...but the husband enjoyed it and if she can't do IC, she is most likely to have to endure it again just to please him. Of course, there are some lucky ones who have patient supportive partners but it always seems like it's the former that are more common. If I had a partner, yes they would be male. I have never experienced any desire to engage in any sexual acts with another female although, for those that do, it is an advantage in the fact that another female will be better at pressing the right buttons than a male. My ex used to put way too much pressure on when massaging me with his fingers to the point where it hurt and I had to tell him not to press so hard. I hear that this is a common issue that happens. Like guys think us women want loads of pressure. Light gentle touches are the key, especially with fingers but if you use something much wider than a finger but still soft like a pillow/soft toy& etc...a lot more pressure can be applied without hurting oneself....this is great for when you want to have a couple of dozen orgasms...when feeling greedy. I agree that inserting things into my vagina has no pleasurable feeling for me. I've inserted my vaginal trainers (Dilators) when I masturbate and kept them in during orgasm but there was nothing special about it even though I'm on dilator #3 and there are only 4 in the set so it is of decent size... If I was to have IC, I'd feel like it was for the guys pleasure only. I don't want children so I don't need to do it to get pregnant. It would be nice to actually try it and succeed for once but& I doubt it will ever be the be all and end all of sex and I wouldn't care less if, after trying it a few times, I never had to do it again. I worry that a guy will only be interested in that and want to miss everything else out all the time though....as too often happens. | 2006-08-30 15:43:40 |
| 406 | 2529 | Hi, Based on my limited knowledge of the subject, women also put a lot of pressure on themselves to engage in intercourse. Society defines sex as "intercourse" and everything else is foreplay, not sex. The majority of people apparently agreed with former President Clinton when he said he never had "sex" with Monica, because they didn't engage in intercourse. Many women with vaginismus may avoid intercourse and wont seek a solution unless something comes to a crisis, because of the anxiety that the idea of intercourse causes them. If there is not external pressure they wont do anything to find a solution. Brad | 2006-08-30 20:48:32 |
| 406 | 3198 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "It seems that many males don't realise there is more to sex than penetration. Many other women in the vag support group tell about how their partners/husbands often do a range of things such as cheat, divorce, leave," These are people who cannot see in front of themselves " pressure them into anal sex " I could think of nothing worse "or make them give blow-jobs without returning anything because they believe the woman owes them something because she can't give them IC but that they owe her nothing in return." True love and proper fulfillment of IC is only found in mutual love. Anything less would have to classed as rape " Recently, a woman, recently married, from the middle-east somewhere said about how she and her new husband had tried IC a few times and failed and he was getting frustrated and had now suggested doing anal sex instead because he thinks he& needs penetration to get satisfaction. The woman was scared and repulsed by the idea of having anal sex but the pressure was on."Why don't couples Try holding hands and kissing this can lead to intimate understanding" Some idiot in the support group told her she should try it anyway despite that fact that she said she didn't want to& because they had and liked it...so she did....and hated it, never wants to do it again...but the husband enjoyed it and if she can't do IC, she is most likely to have to endure it again just to please him." Most importantly do what pleases her first. Never do anything just to ‘please’ your partner " Of course, there are some lucky ones who have patient supportive partners but it always seems like it's the former that are more common. If I had a partner, yes they would be male. I have never experienced any desire to engage in any sexual acts with another female although, for those that do, it is an advantage in the fact that another female will be better at pressing the right buttons than a male. My ex used to put way too much pressure on when massaging me with his fingers to the point where it hurt and I had to tell him not to press so hard. I hear that this is a common issue that happens. Like guys think us women want loads of pressure. Light gentle touches" Partners can use their tongue or self masturbation " are the key, especially with fingers but if you use something much wider than a finger but still soft like a pillow/soft toy& etc...a lot more pressure can be applied without hurting oneself....this is great for when you want to have a couple of dozen orgasms...when feeling greedy. I agree that inserting things into my vagina has no pleasurable feeling for me. I've inserted my vaginal trainers (Dilators) when I masturbate and kept them in during orgasm but there was nothing special about it even though I'm on dilator #3 and there are only 4 in the set so it is of decent size..." You do not have to insert anything in your vagina. You have to please yourself and reading your posts you obviously do. I think you are an inspiration to other woman. I certainly enjoy reading your posts " If I was to have IC, I'd feel like it was for the guys pleasure only. I don't want children so I don't need to do it to get pregnant. It would be nice to actually try it and succeed for once but& I doubt it will ever be the be all and end all of sex and I wouldn't care less if, after trying it a few times, I never had to do it again. I worry that a guy will only be interested in that and want to miss everything else out all the time though....as too often happens." Many men do only want IC, I’m one of the rare few who know that IC is only a part of the experience. Sure I love and enjoy IC, however my partner has experienced many difficulties and so it is a rare event now. I get extreme pleasure from masturbation and the information I learn from this forum leads to an improved sexual experience. | 2006-11-18 21:30:30 |
| 406 | 3202 | "Based on my limited knowledge of the subject, women also put a lot of pressure on themselves to engage in intercourse. Society defines sex as "intercourse" and everything else is foreplay, not sex. The majority of people apparently agreed with former President Clinton when he said he never had "sex" with Monica, because they didn't engage in intercourse. Many women with vaginismus may avoid intercourse and wont seek a solution unless something comes to a crisis, because of the anxiety that the idea of intercourse causes them. If there is not external pressure they wont do anything to find a solution." & The main reason women place pressure on themselves to engage in intercourse is because they won't be accepted as a woman unless they do. Thats how most of us feel in the vag group. We worry men won't want us if we can't have IC and those with partners feel guilty...like they are depriving their partners of something they have some sort of right to because that is the general attitude in society. If you are in a relationship/married, you have a right to IC with your partner and they have to oblige. Also, the women in the vag group are all doing what they can to cure themselves, even without a crisis. Crisis points& still happen regardless because they weren't able to cure themselves fast enough for the mans liking. Also, there are single women in the vag group, no pressure from partners, who are also working to cure themselves and have improved their condition to the point where they are able to take a penis sized object without there being a man around. What people forget is that we don't just want to do it to have IC, we also want to be able to have pelvic exams, use tampons maybe, have children,& other stuff thats non sexual or just feel like we are in control of ourselves for once. It isn't all about having IC. | 2006-11-19 09:47:36 |
| 406 | 6568 | My SO cannot retract her hood and expose her glans. She comes readily anyway. A lot of women who exhibit on the web do not have an exposed glans. Massaging the clit through the clitoral foreskin seems to do just fine by her. I am uncut and like it when she does something similar to me. | 2009-04-06 01:44:24 |
| 407 | 2497 | There are so many different kinds: www.trojancondoms.com/product_info/index.asp I was wondering if someone here has perhaps tried alot of them? I want to know which one gets the most pleasure for us girls? | 2006-08-28 17:48:39 |
| 407 | 2498 | I use Trojan Spermicidal For Her... they are excellent. :) So are many of the other For Her Pleasure Condoms by Trojan. | 2006-08-28 18:21:06 |
| 408 | 2518 | I'd like some opinions... Is it 'acceptable' to think of other men (or people I suppose) while in a relationship? At what point does it become unacceptable? I occasionally thought of others, and I went through phases - For a few months, I felt incredible guilt about it. Then for a few months, I decided that it was acceptable, because I was never actually going to do anything and it was just curiosity, because I've only been with one man. I think a reason that 'first relationships' don't work out in many cases may not be that there is a lack of love or that it isn't the right person... But that the curiosity of being with other people is just too compelling... I know I love my boyfriend, more than the world... Yet I still feel myself drifting towards others now, wanting to have those other experiences, yearning to know what it's like with those other people, after being with him for almost two years... Quite a powerful force. I'm starting to feel less and less guilty about this desire, and I'm afraid that subconscious mentality is what is going to eventually cause me to make a huge mistake... I try to feel guilty about it. I used to feel guilty... I wouldn't mind opinions on that general matter... But I think opinions on what I should do personally in this situation might be a bit much for me to handle. ^_^ & | 2006-08-29 23:02:10 |
| 408 | 2519 | I kind of live by the look but don't touch rule, (although I have to say I would hate to see my boyfriend drooling over another girl) but if you feel like you are doing something wrong then it might be for you.& (Sorry its weird phrasing, I can't seem to form coherent sentences lately) Have you talked to your boyfriend about it?& I know it could be hard but its been my experience that a good long hard talk can bring you closer together. Hope that helps a little Kit | 2006-08-29 23:58:32 |
| 408 | 2524 | Hi Keddy...no reason to feel guilty for letting your imagination drift while oyu are with somebody, remember that the fantasies help to build the tempo and your brain is your best sex organ and that extasis will& benefit both of you in achieving a great orgasm..but if the fantasies become an obsesion there is a problem....enjoy life Luisa | 2006-08-30 13:23:38 |
| 408 | 2528 | My boyfriend is my first too.& I believe anyone is allowed to look but they just can't touch when they are committed with someone.& | 2006-08-30 20:03:02 |
| 408 | 2530 | Hi, You have to careful when using the "love" word. Do you truly love the man or are you afraid to give up what you have to seek out something better? Does your current partner still fulfill all your needs, which have likely changed over the past two years, or does your desire indicate he isn't fulfilling those needs? You probably aren't the same person you were two years ago. Most relationships mellow out after time and that is only normal. Things wont be as exciting as when you first met. It takes a lot of effort to keep the spark alive. You would have to life in a box not to find other's attractive. There wouldn't be famous Hollywood actors if women didn't find men other than their partner attractive. Women look just as much as men, only more discreetly perhaps. Brad | 2006-08-30 20:56:23 |
| 408 | 2532 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, You have to careful when using the "love" word. Do you truly love the man or are you afraid to give up what you have to seek out something better? Does your current partner still fulfill all your needs, which have likely changed over the past two years, or does your desire indicate he isn't fulfilling those needs? You probably aren't the same person you were two years ago. " My last relationship was the kind where I'm convinced I love someone, and it takes a long time to realize I really, really didn't. (I don't count this relationship as my 'first' because there was nother more than kissing, and anything out of those lines ended up being abuse, and it was just a nasty little ordeal.) I love him, very much. You'll just have to trust me on that one - I know a lot of people think that people 'my age' have no idea what love really is... I guess it is possible I don't. Up until he went away to college, we spent every single day together for a year and a half. We never fight, we spent those days having discussions about life, laughing together, and rarely stopped smiling when we were together. I fell in love with him when he saved my life (literally, not figurativly), and since that day I've never been happier - Finding him was the best thing that had ever happened to be, and I had no clue what happiness what until then. I really do love him. Whether or not he still satisfies me is a bit different, and I will admit that - He knows there are issues, but I don't think he's entirely aware of the sevarity of it. He's been working to try and fix the little problems, and so have I, so that we can tweak the dial that seems to be drifting away from those 'just right' settings. Whether or not we're going to succeed, I'm not sure. He's in college, and I get to spend very, very little time with him...& He's only home for the weekends, and he doesn't always have gas money to come down. To make things worse, I've been dealing with a lot of medical issues (pain. lots of abdominal pain. nasty pain. Yes, I've been to a doctor, don't worry.) What this really amounts to is no sexual activity. When I'm in the mood, he is not around. And because fate likes to pick on me, when he IS around, I tend to be in too much pain to be aroused. I got to spend today with him, and I spent the whole day with evey muscle in my abdomen clamped up like I was flexing and was unable to relax them, resulting in way too freaking much discomfort to do naughty things. Figures. It took me awhile to identify this problem, but another main issue is that I find laziness or inactivity a much bigger turn-off than most people. Unless there is a lot of positive energy in the atmosphere, nothin' is going on. With him in school full time, he tends to be stressed, and when he's home, he just wants to curl up in bed and watch TV all day... I understand this, but I just can't stand it. I've identified a lot of the problems, I'm just not sure if they can be fixed so easily. He comes home from college for 3 months at a time, and this starts in early october... I figure if I can make things work until then, that opens up a huge opportunity - I get to see him every day again, like I did before when everything was alright. I think that might be enough to get these things under control. I'm at least going to give myself that time before I make any stupid decisions I regret later. No reason to rush - I've got all the time in the world to figure out what it right for me. ... I'm not sure why I respond to everything in small novel format. | 2006-08-31 00:51:46 |
| 408 | 2539 | My boyfriend was my first in many things.& I love him so much!& And we do plan to stay with each other until we grow old.& We're always thinking of new things to keep things exciting, and sometimes just doing the 'norm' is great because we love just to chill, relax, and talk about things. I think it is normal though just to be curious about other men.& I lost my virginity in January, and I can tell you that there have been many thoughts of what other guys I thought were attractive would feel like if I had sex with them.& It's natural for people to think that way.& It's your id part of your pyschological thoughts.& You can't help you feel that way, but your super ego is what keeps you sane and not do things that would cause hurt and pain in your relationship. It's all about how you go about the situation.& I think it's okay to look, you just can't touch because then you're going outside of boundaries of a relationship with another. | 2006-09-01 09:22:18 |
| 410 | 2534 | Hi all I haven't been here since this group was on Yahoo.& & Glad to find you all again!& & (Sorry I initially posted this in the 'Welcome' forum). I'd like to encourage my wife to be interested in doing sex doggy style or rear entry.& & It was always one of my favourite positions in an earlier relationship. However my& wife does not seem to think it is a priority.& & We tried a couple of times unsuccessfully (long ago) and I started to lose my erection anyway so was unable to properly enter her. It seems to be that if she doesn't really fancy something,& we don't try& it, when it comes to sex. Does anybody have any suggestions about how I may encourage her to be more interested in trying it? Thanks EP | 2006-08-31 15:01:39 |
| 410 | 2535 | Sometimes there are things that people just don't want to try for whatever reason. It isn't a good idea to make them because that just takes enjoyment out of sex for them and if they are hating it, you can't really enjoy it either. If you haven't asked her about it recently, maybe ask her about it again to see if she is up for just giving it a go. If she seems to be insistent that she doesn't want to, you might have to just learn to live with it. Keep going on about it is more likely to make her angry and resentful and make her feel under pressure. If there is a possiblity that she's just being lazy and can't be bothered, maybe a chat about sex in general and coming up with other ideas too about how to spice it up might help. Both of you could suggest things you want to try and have a go at each others ideas if you feel you can deal with it as a two way thing maybe. | 2006-08-31 16:14:26 |
| 410 | 2536 | HI all, Will she try the spoon position?& Maybe you could be happy with that instead?& You could always raise one leg of hers up..... | 2006-08-31 20:33:30 |
| 410 | 2537 | We havn't really successfully used the spoon position either. This might be a silly question but ... how do I do it?& & Does she just need to lift one leg up and do I lay behind her, or do I have to somehow& get my legs in between hers? Thanks EP | 2006-08-31 23:31:31 |
| 410 | 2548 | This might help www.sex-techniques-and-positions.com/positions4.html | 2006-09-02 17:51:18 |
| 410 | 2554 | Hi all, hehe,& Yes you are lying behind her, and she is curled in a fetus like position so her buttocks are curving from her back.....& You can lift a the top leg if you wish, and entwine (sp?) your legs with hers too.....& I would suggest entwining your legs as you start to get the intamacy and or comfortability with it up first.........& As far as what is the right way, xperiment with it, if either one of you don't like it, then I guess you should not use that anymore.....& But she should like it....& hehe.... | 2006-09-03 05:26:39 |
| 413 | 2545 | This is a two-fold question.& First of all, what kind of porn do you like?& Secondly, what draws you to that kind of porn? I am not really looking for detailed descriptions of your ideal porn, just some general indicators like hardcore vs. softcore, studio vs. amatuer vs. voyeur, or maybe some specific act if you heavily restrict your porn to one (like if you exclusively watch oral sex movies for example). More important is the second question.& Do you have any idea why you like that particular type of porn?& What is it about that kind of porn that makes you favor it over another type of porn?& Have you ever even thought about it before? Also, I am sure everyone here has heard the more common criticisms of porn (degrading, religious issues, etc), but if you are a person who dislikes porn for a reason that isn't common, what is it? | 2006-09-02 06:52:03 |
| 413 | 2546 | I think I'm probably like a lot of women in that I'm more drawn to writing than photos. I read some bodice-rippers when I was a teenager and found some very arousing. Descriptions are more arousing to me than blatant pictures, perhaps because you can use your imagination and make it look the way you want it to. The typical reasons would also apply for me to photos. Although when I went to investigate the-penis.com, as much as it seemed very pornographic and a bit of a turn-off for me, there were some photos that I couldn't help but ogle. The one at the top left had corner of the home page was very titillating to me. It's so cute and vulnerable in its flaccid state I just want to kiss it and take it in my mouth! | 2006-09-02 09:53:06 |
| 413 | 2547 | I agree with you NoMoreGuilt www.literotica.com is a girls best friend ;) As for watching porn, even though I'm straight or maybe a bit bi-curious if I was going to go out and look for porn it would be girl/girl.& Not sure why but to me girls are just prettier than guys, (sorry guys, I find some of you quite nice but really the only guy I want to see is mine :p ) | 2006-09-02 17:47:54 |
| 413 | 2550 | I guess you can put it that I'm not like "a lot of women" because reading stuff doesn't do a darn thing. I tend to watch girl on girl, blow jobs, eating out, guy on guy, and masturbating.& I'm not much of a fan of that hardcore stuff though.& The reason I like girl on girl is because I'm very curious what it would be like to be with a woman.& I watch the oral sex vids sometimes for ideas to make some sessions for me to be interesting for my boyfriend.& Guy on guy, actually looks more real than girl on girl.& Masturbating = it just looks hot when one is pleasuring themselves. So how about you? | 2006-09-03 00:56:05 |
| 413 | 2557 | Hi all, I have no preference to porn at all, unless I can't find anything at all in a dvd that teaches me something......& Up until recently, I have only wanted to watch main-stream porn, though since finding this site I am gonna watch some more couples oriented porn, and specific teaching type porn.......& So I would say that I like porn for what it can teach me, beit positions, technique, tidbits about anything really..... edit:& I meant to say, I dislike porn that does NOT teach me something..... | 2006-09-03 06:20:28 |
| 413 | 2560 | I like girl/girl porn not the stuff where the ladies have long nails what's that about? lol. I have seen hardcore but i'm not a huge fan of the & close up's that some can have. Mind you it is a good& learning & tool. | 2006-09-03 11:46:53 |
| 413 | 2561 | Oh yes, I love porn. I typically watch girl on girl or solo teen girls. Mainly because most guys in porn movies aren't really arousing. But I am starting to get bored of what I used to watch. I need some new sites... :? | 2006-09-03 13:09:58 |
| 413 | 2565 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user]" Masturbating = it just looks hot when one is pleasuring themselves. & " hehe I have to agree with you there. | 2006-09-03 14:51:50 |
| 413 | 2572 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user]" Masturbating = it just looks hot when one is pleasuring themselves. & " hehe I have to agree with you there. Me three | 2006-09-05 01:23:12 |
| 413 | 2573 | [user=728]detectivebenson[/user] wrote: "I like girl/girl porn not the stuff where the ladies have long nails what's that about? lol. "Seriously, what is up with that?!& I think those long fake nails are so nasty!!!! | 2006-09-05 12:58:03 |
| 413 | 2603 | Well, I've been trying to figure out what I like without writing another huge, long post.& I guess in the most general sense, I like porn that shows an honest female experience.& I know that sounds funny when talking about porn, because most porn is really fake.& What I mean by "honest" is that I really hate porn where you can tell that the woman is just waiting for it to end so she can get her check and make another movie.& So I really don't like most "professional" porn.& I see "honesty" in porn in a few different types of situations.& Most of the time I find honesty in amateur porn, and I mean really amateur porn.& I like webcams and homemade videos because most of the time the women in those videos want to be there.& For example, a chick in a long distance relationship mabsturbates on camera for her partner, or two people just record themselves having sex for the thrill of it. The ideal "honesty" for me is if I'm convinced that the woman really had an orgasm, which is rare.& Also, I do find honesty in professional porn, but not in the same way.& Sometimes if a woman is having sex with a well hung guy or using a big toy, you can see a bit of strain on her face.& I don't get off on seeing women in pain or anything, but that little bit of strain kind of breaks through the porn star act and shows what she's really feeling. And of course by female experience, I mean porn that focuses on the woman.& I really dislike porn that focuses on the man in it.& I hate blowjob/handjob/cumshot movies.& I can watch porn with a guy in it if the focus is on the woman, but I really prefer porn without guys at all.& Most of what I like is masturbating women.& Sometimes there is a hot chick that really takes control and then I will watch porn with a guy, but most male-female porn the man is in control and the focus of the porn. And of course, I just really like incredibly beautiful women, so sometimes if the woman is hot enough I tend not to mind the fakeness of professional porn, but there are very few of those women. | 2006-09-11 06:04:32 |
| 413 | 2606 | Just recently I found a clip where it was two girls kissing and then they were performing oral sex on each other.& It was a home made clip, and it really turned me on more than the real porn.& I have to agree with you... amatuer porn is the way to go. | 2006-09-11 09:55:11 |
| 413 | 2670 | I prefer girl on girl,or women masturbating alone or with other women. | 2006-09-17 01:09:17 |
| 413 | 2712 | [user=752]Evil_Kitten[/user] wrote: "I agree with you NoMoreGuilt [url=www.literotica.com] www.literotica.com is a girls best friend ;) " Thanks for the tip, Evil. I've enjoyed several stories on that web site. :-D | 2006-09-17 20:05:17 |
| 413 | 2891 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: | 2006-10-01 12:59:59 |
| 413 | 6968 | (Sorry if this is too long!) As a guy who's looked at a fairly large amount of porn, I've often asked myself why that is. I was a late bloomer, but it's not like I've had to use it as a substitute for sex. In fact, I've masturbated to porn a few hours after and/or before having sex. I just like it, I guess. I like the control over what images you can choose, what mood, etc. One of my favorite quotes was from a comedian who asked the guys in the crowd, "Have you ever been having sex with a beautiful woman and thought, "Boy I can't wait to get home so I can masturbate about this!" Seems contradictory, but very true for a lot of guys. I do get turned off by some of the extreme graphic, "clinical" porn, and anything that gives the impression of a woman being mistreated or "used" in a way that she doesn't seem to enjoy. That stuff where it's obvious that the girl answered an ad and comes over to have sex with some guys she's never met really doesn't do much for me at all. I need some sort of a scenario, I guess. I definitely believe that everything's sexier when there's something left to the imagination. The mind is the largest erogenous zone, so why not let it finish the job for ya? One thing I discovered recently is the whole CFNM thing, which is clothed female/naked male. Some of it involves humiliating a naked guy, which I'm not into, but there's a lot of it that includes things like a group of girls finding a guy masturbating, and then helping him finish himself off, all while wearing most of their clothes. Something about that idea is very arousing. Another comedian pointed out that scenes involving two women and a man (FFM) seems like a really beautiful idea - there's touching, caressing, lots of kissing - and yet, two men and one woman (MMF) can get a sort of dark edge to them. If I'm watching an MMF scene, I definitely want to see that the woman is somewhat in charge and enjoying herself, as if this was a longtime fantasy of hers that is coming true. In an FFM scene, I usually imagine that one of the women is the man's girlfriend or wife, and the other woman is their first stab at a threesome. If I had to choose a favorite, though, it would probably be a video of a single girl masturbating and talking into the camera as if the viewer is in the room with her. That seems like the most intimate and realistic form of porn to me. As far as why I like these things, it's hard to say. I know that I have a sort of a cheerleader and ankle socks fetish most likely because I had a big crush on a cheerleader in high school. There are certain porn actresses that remind me of ex-girlfriends that I have fond memories of, so that's a no-brainer there. By the way, I'd love to hear more of what women like in the way of porn viewing, as it's a big turn on to imagine a woman using images and videos to get aroused in the same way. Thanks for reading this far! | 2010-01-02 06:04:29 |
| 414 | 2549 | Does anyone have any piercings, such as nipples or genital piercings?& And if you do or don’t what to you think about them?& Are there certain ones you like more than others? I was thinking about getting a few and at some point I will I just wanted to see what others think about them.& :) Thanks Kit PS this can also be expanded to body mods in general... Do you like tattoos?& (I have one and want more) Um...other body mods like scarification or removal.& | 2006-09-02 18:06:32 |
| 414 | 2551 | The only piercings I have at the moments are my lobes, but I have considered getting my nipples done.& Two of my friends have it done, and it looks really nice.& My roomie at school is a lesbian and she mentioned to me the other day that she once had a partner that had her tongue pierced and that it got stuck in a hole and that it hurt very& much. My guess... is it possible for anything like a ball from a tongue piercing bar to go into the urethra meatus? Tats, my boyfriend has two and I know he wants to get more.& I really would like to have a tat or two.& But I cannot have one until I'm out of school and out of the house.& If I were to get one now and my mom were to find out, she would kick me out and stop helping me pay for college. | 2006-09-03 01:01:49 |
| 414 | 2552 | one of my exes had a pierced tongue and it was totally irritating when we made out and it hit my teeth.& For people who are more into casual encounters than romantic ones, enhancing oral sex at the cost of a romantic activity would be fine, but its not my cup of tea. I also dont like facial piercings.& I can deal with eyebrow piercings, though I think they're kind of silly, but anything in the nose or around the mouth is a turnoff to me.& Ears, nipples, navel, or clitoral hood aren't so bad in moderation, but anything that tends towards hardcore body modding or self mutilation is a total turnoff.& I like women as natural as possible.& Body modding detracts from rather than enhances the type of woman I am attracted to, | 2006-09-03 04:44:48 |
| 414 | 2555 | HI all, I usta have my tongue, lobes, and my penis pierced....& Long story short, had to take them out for Marine Corp bootcamp....:X& & The tongue piercing never bothered me, though I was told I played with it too much, lol....& I only really had 2 instances when I used the tongue piercing sexually, and they weren't with anyone I was steady with, so I never really heard if they liked it or not......But I thought it kinda limited my abitlity to manipulate my tongue, I really liked having it done,& and would consider getting it again, if my next g-friend likes it down there......& The lobes are a no biggie, so I won't go there..... The upside for a man with tongue pierced is that& when you do go down town on a grrl you will still taste the women& for awhile after!!& Haha, even after I brushed my teeth and rinsed with listerene, so with alcohol, I could still taste her.... That and a kind of metallic taste of the piercing... & LOL, now onto the *main*-event......& I usta have a prince albert piercing, which is a piercing that goes into the urethra, and out through the bottom of& the head, between the face of the helmet......& Didn't have a clue what else to call that...lol.......& What got me that piercing was a story I heard from my brother's friend....& He had said that when he had sex with it they had to stop having sex cuz the grrlz tummy started to hurt from orgasming too much....& I want to believe the story, cuz I trust the source, but we men embellish sex storys, well we can..... I had that piercing a measley 3 months and never got to try it out......& :X& & I still want to though, but I also heard that it is cool for awhile then the grrl get's used to it I guess.....& So I dunno about getting it again.......& The down side to a prince albert piercing is having to urinate....& The man's urine will travel down the ring, the piercing, and kinda spray all over the place, in fact it is very hard to control the spray at all....& LOL, funny for everyone else at the party though.....LOL......The other downside is noooooooooooooo sex for 6 weeks at the minimum!!& For the guys reading this, LOL, if you get this done, be prepared to be showing off your penis at parties n stuff, esp. to ALOT of GRRLZ!! So now here we are in the present, and I might or might not get another piercing again,& but, what I really want is a nose piercing!!!& I want one in the worst way, it's just that I am too self concious about it, and think that it would be the butt of alot of jokes about my being gay or something akin to that.... My brother has his belly button pierced, so maybe there is hope for me yet.......:D About women:& & I like piercings on a grrl yes and no....& I don't like the clit to be pierced, it gets in the way I think...lol..... And for the boobies there cool but if she wants to get into having them pulled n stuff I am outie!& I do not get into anything involving choking, or pain at all...... As for the tongue I am gonna have to agree with& dfs3, they are tooo anoying& when they get in the way....& Other then that I really do dig piercings on a grrl, esp. the belly button, soooooooo cute!!;)& & So I guess I really only dig grrlz with facial piercings or belly buttons done....& But hey!!& It really isn't about what we or your family or even your friends think, it's all about you, the wonderful you!! & All in all I really do like piercings, some are not for me, while others are quite fun to talk about......hehe...... & | 2006-09-03 06:08:30 |
| 414 | 2559 | UURRGGHHH, the thought of piercings anywhere on the vulva or nipples makes me shudder. No thanks!!! I also would be very turned off by a pierced penis or pierced nipple in a guy. I have my earlobes done once and that is my limit. | 2006-09-03 07:50:07 |
| 414 | 2564 | Wow y'all thanks for all the feedback :) Some of the things that were brought up I hadn't even thought of ;) Oh yeah and Ladybug my mom told me the same thing but I have managed to keep my mom from finding out and I showed my dad and he didn't care.& Then again it on my upper middle back and when I'm at home I really didn't tend to wear things that would show it off.& Parad1se I haven't thought about my boyfriend ever getting pierced and I'm not so sure he would want to hehe.& As for the VCH that I want, it may be a pain for the guy but its supposed to feel really good for the girl and depending on the jewlery I bet it might not be so bad.& I can see how a ring would get in the way though. Canis Lupess& I can see how it could be really painful but I can handle a lot of pain and don't mind it so much, we will see how it is if I do get anything done ;) | 2006-09-03 14:48:50 |
| 414 | 2570 | Oh, I forgot to mention about tattoos. I don't have any tattoos and I won't have any either because they aren't my cup of tea. When I see women with tattoos, they look very unfeminine. My sister has a couple and I don't like the way they look. They look tacky.& I think guys can pull them off better but going overboard isn't a good look. I don't know, I just like natural untouched look, I suppose.:D & | 2006-09-03 17:52:20 |
| 414 | 2571 | To each their own.& I happen to love my tattoo and I have quite a few more in mind. | 2006-09-04 01:01:13 |
| 414 | 6059 | I have a muslim female friend who has a butterfly tatoo ,I think she looks even more feminine with it.It depends on what kind of tatoo it is. | 2008-08-26 02:54:38 |
| 414 | 6145 | i have a tatoo on my leg, above the right ankle. So far, a lot of people (even my dad) told me they like it and it fits me. Now and then i think of having a genital piercing, maybe clitoral hood... i like these parts of my body - so why not decorating them? I never had sex with pierced guy, but i would like to try! I also find nipple piercings in men very sexy - as long as& they have a nicely shaped body ;) | 2008-10-08 13:42:10 |
| 414 | 6466 | I think tattoos and piercings can be very erotic on women.& If you watch LA Ink you will see many really nice tattoos.& I think they can be very feminine and complement a woman's body.& I think that pierced nipples are very erotic and for some women they will increase the nipple sensitivity.& I also like genital piercings and think they look very sexy and they too can help increase sensation.& My wife had a hood piercing that was very functional.& She removed it but is planning on having it repierced as she misses it. | 2009-01-27 09:31:07 |
| 415 | 2562 | I am honoured that I / we are able to bring my wife to orgasm relatively easily and I particularly enjoy the various means I seem to be able to use to do this, whether by stroking her clitoris with my hand or tongue, or by penetrating her with my penis. However there are times when she climaxes before I am ready to end our sexual activity, but after she climaxes, it always seems to be a case that if I don't orgasm virtually straight away& I won’t get the chance. For example, after my wife climaxes, if I am already inside her, she quickly becomes too sensitive for me to carry on moving for any length of time.& & So I either have to& quickly thrust until I climax, or just forgo any orgasm. If she climaxes before I am inside her (by my hand action for example) she gets so relaxed and sleepy that she loses interest& and would rather just drift off.& & And I always thought it was the guy who just rolled over after climaxing!& :-) That's all very lovely, but because we do not get to have sex often (well, not often enough for me), i.e. we do it& every 2 - 3 weeks, I feel let down, usually still having a raging erection. I don’t know whether I should feel upset and short changed but I cannot help that feeling. I don’t know how to make sure we are both satisfied.& & As a general rule I tend to like lovemaking to last longer than she does. Anyone got any advice out there please? Thanks! Regards EP | 2006-09-03 13:39:10 |
| 415 | 2566 | Have you tried talking to her about it?& Maybe if you tell her how you feel we 2 can work something out so both of you will be satisfied.& Depending on how fast you recharge maybe she could give you a blowjob or hand job or something as part of the foreplay and then go with penetration?& Hopefully that helps a little.& I'm sure it can all be worked out.& Good luck :) Kit | 2006-09-03 14:58:01 |
| 415 | 2569 | You can work on methods to help her hold off her orgasm so you get a chance to have yours. It's well known for guys to fall asleep after sex but, yes, it does happen to us women too. I use orgasm to get to sleep when I can't but need to so I know it does happen to us too, lol. It usually takes a bit longer to kick into women though than men. I tend to be greedy unlike your wife. She can drop off after one whereas I just itch for more orgasms and might have over 20 before I'm finally satisfied although, especially when I'm being quick and lazy, I'll settle for about 7 or 8 before relaxing and nodding off. As the other person said, have a chat about it and see if you can come up with ideas to help her hold hers off a little longer so that you can have yours and her get hers as well. | 2006-09-03 17:39:57 |
| 416 | 2567 | What bothers me is that I only get orgasme when I really give a lot of effort. I'm only able to get orgasme when using a strong vibrator or water stream on my clitoris/vulva, and there is no difference between masturbation or using the vibrator during sex with my partner. (Just masturbation with a water stream& makes me come off more easily). Quite often I need to& contract my pelvic, tighs and stomach muscles so much that my body gets& sweat. It feel I have to pump blood into my abdomen/genitals.& I have& never been able to reach orgasm through using my hands (maybe I gave up to early?). I love cunnilingus and to be manually stimulated, but I do not come (after about 1/2 hour, I/my partner just get to exhausted). To make a long story short, my question is how can I reach orgasm more easily? I dream of being able to get orgasm just through my hands without getting to much exhausted.& Is there anything I can do to "learn" getting orgasme just using my hands? Has my clit become used to strong stimulation? Do you have some advice, maybe based on your own experience? P.S. I'm 37 year and like to excercise :-) & | 2006-09-03 16:34:08 |
| 416 | 2568 | Sometimes that happens with me when I'm being lazy and don't spend enough time working myself up before moving to the vulva. I often do this when I can't sleep and I use orgasm to help me fall asleep. Obviously, I don't want tp spend ages working up so I move onto it pretty quick but& I still manage to pull it off using the soft toy and more pressure. If I want it to be much easier, I have to stimulate other areas such as boobs first and the longer I spend on them, the easier I can orgasm and I'm pretty much ready to explode the second anything touches the vulva if I do. If not, it can take more effort. I usually use something other than my fingers such as part of a soft toy. I can apply more pressure with that than fingers and it works much better. I've only had an orgasm once using my fingers and that was fairly recent when I decided to try it out but I still prefer the soft toy method...lol. So, from my own experience with orgasm, spending more time working yourself up and building your sexual tension is the way to have orgasm easier with less pressure used. Maybe somebody else will have some more ideas for you too.:) | 2006-09-03 17:35:06 |
| 416 | 2778 | Fruity, it seems to me that you are 'stressed out'.& Trying to keep a time schedule for everything makes for a dull sex life.& You will have to just give yourself some time to just 'hang loose'.& Try this for an experiment: Wear a panty of a darker color other than white or beige during a regular workday.& Then when you get home check the crotch--are there white spots? If 'yes' then your organ is functioning well. If 'no' then you need relaxation time. A vibrator is a wonderful tool to 'aid' in reaching orgasm, but using it to force out an 'O' won't leave you with a lasting satisfaction. There are more reasons, but this is good for a start.& skoo | 2006-09-20 22:50:58 |
| 416 | 2785 | Hi, Normal vaginal and vulva fluids are not an indication of sexual capacity or arousal, as they are always present during the reproductive years. Sexual arousal is indicated by a clear fluid that may be white in color when it dries. Her problem does not appear to be with arousal so much as orgasm, based on her posting. Brad | 2006-09-21 08:14:35 |
| 418 | 2592 | 2006-09-09 11:57:17 | |
| 418 | 2594 | Its puberty that caused the change.& Just like the rest of your body between the ages of 13 and 17, your vulva undergoes significant changes. | 2006-09-09 15:13:16 |
| 418 | 2596 | 2006-09-09 22:09:47 | |
| 420 | 2602 | I just ran into a woman recently who once told me about her views about male ejaculation.& At the time she wasn't in a solid relationship, so vaginal ejaculation was quite obviously out.& Considering the risks, it goes without saying that there are a million reasons not to allow this.& However, she had an excuse for everything else which I found quite odd. First of all, she refused to let a man ejaculate in her mouth after oral sex.& Although she had never actually had it happen, she had somehow convinced herself that it tasted awful.& I really don't get this argument, not even counting the fact that she had no experience for judgement in the first place.& But really, when you have a penis in your mouth, you're going to get some initial semen in your mouth before he actually climaxes.& But that wasn't the thing I really remembered.& She wouldn't let a guy come anywhere on her body.& Not her face, not her chest, her stomach; nothing.& What she would do is give the guy head until he was about to climax, and then masturbate him into the palm of her hand.& She thought that allowing him to ejaculate on her was demeaning.& That always seemed like it would be really insulting to me.& I don't get how having semen on your body can be seen as demeaning when you've just had a penis in your mouth and thought nothing of it. Now of course I know that oral sex doesnt have to lead to orgasm, that it can be part of foreplay, but that's not the kind of oral sex I'm talking about.& I'm talking about the quickie blowjob that exists for its own sake.& Of course, ejaculation on the body could also follow intercourse when you're pulling out, but in this woman's situation the context was always following oral sex. So the questions in all this are: will you let a man come inside you (mouth after oral, vagina after intercourse)? if not, why?& and do you feel the being ejaculated in/on is demeaning?& if so, what is demeaning about it?& are certain places demeaning while others are not?& if so, what makes the difference?& Also, does the state (or lack) of a relationship make any difference in any of these things?& Aside from the obvious answer regarding ejaculation in the vagina, are there any other factors that you find perhaps less obvious?& For example, would you view a man ejaculating on your face or chest demeaning at one point in a relationship but view it differently at a later stage? | 2006-09-11 04:27:57 |
| 420 | 2605 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "So the questions in all this are: will you let a man come inside you (mouth after oral, vagina after intercourse)? if not, why?& and do you feel the being ejaculated in/on is demeaning?& if so, what is demeaning about it?& are certain places demeaning while others are not?& if so, what makes the difference?& Also, does the state (or lack) of a relationship make any difference in any of these things?& Aside from the obvious answer regarding ejaculation in the vagina, are there any other factors that you find perhaps less obvious?& For example, would you view a man ejaculating on your face or chest demeaning at one point in a relationship but view it differently at a later stage?" Dfs, In my relationship with my boyfriend I do allow him to ejaculate in my mouth and I swallow.& I feel that's more intimate.& I will not let him ejaculate anywhere else.& I don't like watching porn that goes all over the woman's face.& I have also been told by a few of my friends that have gotten ejaculant in their nose and eye that it really isn't all that pleasant.& Also due to circumstances, I don't want him to ejaculate on my body since we can't readily access the shower together, since I still live with my parents. I really don't think it's the state of the relationship that matters.& I think it's mostly in how that person views it.& I used to find it more demeaning to the woman.& Porno really ruined it for me.& It grosses me out seeing the woman sit there with her mouth open and then he just gushes all over her face, when her mouth was open to catch it.& My boyfriend and I are practically married, maybe if we did have our own place, or what not, I would allow him to ejaculate on my body, but I wouldn't let him squirt on my face.& I have also had him ejaculate on his stomach and from there I licked it up. Here are my questions for you....Now why is it that men feel they need to ejaculate all over her body?& Why do you want to ejaculate on the woman's face?& I once asked my boyfriend what the big deal was about him ejaculating on me... and I'll tell you after you tell me what your opinion is. | 2006-09-11 09:32:23 |
| 420 | 2607 | Well, I think most guys would prefer to ejaculate inside the woman because of the intimacy.& When that woman told me she would just jerk her boyfriend (now her husband, btw) into the palm of her hand, I just got the impression that she was repulsed by the whole thing.& That seems like total buzzkill and almost insulting.& How would a woman feel if a man stopped giving her oral sex when she started getting wet because he didn't want to get any juices on his face?& So why would a guy want to come on a woman?& Well, I think most guys can be sympathetic if the woman really just can't stand the taste or consistency (and needless to say, most guys that don't want kids won't come inside the woman for their own reasons).& I wouldn't be thrilled seeing a woman gag and choke trying to swallow my semen, so I think that if a woman lets a guy come on her instead of in her, it says that she isn't afraid or repulsed by the semen.& A girl I knew my first years in college told me that she felt really bad that she couldn't get around her gag reflex, but what can you do about a gag reflex, right?& So she would have her boyfriend come on her chest instead for the reason I mentioned.& It's more personal than being finished off into her hand, or even worse, a rag or a cup or something (and I have met a few guys that had the cup thing happen). | 2006-09-11 14:55:54 |
| 420 | 2610 | There has been occasions when my wife has stroked& me until I came on her tummy so she is OK with that. Some weeks ago I was having trouble getting there, despite her rubbing me, and as I was getting a bit sore I moved her hand on to my balls and started to stroke my penis myself, but as soon I did& this she stopped our sex immediately. It obviously repulsed her to have me pull myself off and ejaculate on her, even though it was alright if she was doing the stroking! EP | 2006-09-11 18:02:19 |
| 420 | 2621 | I don't find this, at all, insulting.& My wife and I do that sometimes, just not because she thinks that it is demeaning; but because she isn't in mood to wash herself up.& I sometimes put towel on her stomach, just next to the pubic bone and when I reach climax, I pull my penis out and clitfuck her until I ejaculate into towel.& She just holds the towel up to catch my flying sperm.& I do not understand why this is a big issue to guys who want to ejaculate on women's bodies? | 2006-09-12 10:56:08 |
| 420 | 2622 | There's a huge psychological difference between not feeling like cleaning up now and then and wanting to avoid all contact with semen all the time. | 2006-09-12 13:47:53 |
| 420 | 2623 | Is there any psychological essay or articles that explain this?& I would love to read and understand the difference. | 2006-09-12 13:49:47 |
| 420 | 2624 | I don't like it because it can create a mess... but like I said previously... I would allow him to ejaculate on my stomach, if we were alone. | 2006-09-12 13:59:02 |
| 420 | 2625 | I absolutely will not allow it on the face. I won't swallow either although I have taken it in my mouth and spit it out. If you listen to the way guys talk about swallowing you'll& know& why. Of course it can be demeaning. I can't imagine what a guy's motivation would be for deliberately shooting his wad on a woman's body other than as a power play, a show of dominance, especially if it's on the face. If the woman actually takes his penis and masturbates him until he cums and she directs it onto her body, even her face, that's another matter entirely. She's making the choice and may or may not be taking on a masochistic role. But my guess would be that in most cases, she is not doing that, but simply enjoying her lover's body and it's secretions. | 2006-09-12 15:12:49 |
| 420 | 2626 | [user=519]LinuxGold[/user] wrote: "Is there any psychological essay or articles that explain this?& I would love to read and understand the difference. " You don't need a shrink to tell you the emotional difference between someone saying "I don't feel like bothering with the mess, so lets use a towel tonight" and "I don't care what you say, your semen will never be on me or in me".& The overtones are apparent in the words.& One is laziness, the other is rejection. | 2006-09-12 15:30:20 |
| 420 | 2627 | [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: ""I don't care what you say, your semen will never be on me or in me".& " Yes, that certainly could be rejection of you personally. I had "totally nude intercourse" (no condom)& with one partner and felt a bit of a thrill when I knew he ejaculated inside me, but I was in love with him. It could also be an aversion to semen or sex in general as a result of a repressed and/or strict religious& upbringing. She could have had it drummed into her brain from early on that bodily secretions are filthy or evil or that men are filthy or evil or any number of messed up ideas that people use to& damage their children's psyches. Damned be the puritanical! Sorry. Just my two cents. :>> | 2006-09-12 15:48:08 |
| 420 | 2629 | I can't understand the male "Need", to shoot his load all over the female body either. Just because a woman might not want to be covered in it or swallow it/have it in her mouth, it doesn't mean she is rejecting her male partner..... I don't think I'd mind getting some on me or whatever but I don't like the idea of having it in my mouth or swallowing it and I don't see why I should have to do that to prove that I love a male partner. I wouldn't want to be deliberately squirted in the face or anything either. I really don't see the point and I certainly wouldn't feel like messing about cleaning up after sex when you'd prefer to just cuddle up and go to sleep or whatever. Cleaning semen off everything isn't what I'd call a romantic end to a steamy sesh. I also have a strong gagging reflex. I can't even brush my teeth without gagging, so I might have trouble with a full erect penis in my mouth as well. I'd just have to improvise somehow. I think that the, "Oh, if you don't want to have it in your mouth and swallow it, then you can, at least, have it squirted in your face or other part of the body to make up for it", attitude leaves a bit to be desired. | 2006-09-12 17:18:54 |
| 420 | 2632 | OH, I got it now.& Rejection would definitely turn me off.& Didn't realize until you pointed that specific point of view out.& Thanks. | 2006-09-13 06:52:42 |
| 420 | 2793 | My wife likes it. | 2006-09-22 05:03:34 |
| 420 | 2797 | First let me say, Don't be so hung up on not allowing a man to cum in your mouth. You seem really angry about the subject.& Maybe you had a bad experience??? Secondly, I LOVE it when& a& man& cums in my mouth or anywhere on me for that matter.& & The taste and feel of& cum really turns me& on.& It is the most intimate thing you can do for a man. Occasionally a friend of my husband's& will join us in the bedroom and after& being fucked real good by the both of them I really enjoy it when they both shoot their cum on my face and in my mouth.& UUUMMMMM!!!! | 2006-09-22 08:08:18 |
| 420 | 2798 | To each their own. :) | 2006-09-22 10:38:18 |
| 420 | 2799 | No, I haven't had a bad experience. I assume it's me that you thought sounded& a bit angry. I was a little, I suppose. It was caused by the words of some other people basically saying, or implying,& that we are obliged to engage in it and that we are wrong and cause offence if we don't. I dislike it when people tell you you have to do something like this when you don't and say you would be in the wrong if you didn't do it. | 2006-09-22 11:23:26 |
| 420 | 2831 | Yes Canis Lupess my comment was directed to you but I did not mean to sound so harsh. I've always had the attitude that it is my body and I will not do or have done to me anything I don't want or feel comfortable doing. You should not feel obligated to have a man come on your body or in your mouth. It is and should be your choice. My husband was the first man I let come in my mouth and that was because, like 'No more guilt' said in a earlier post, "I was in love with him." & We had been having sex for a year or so before we married and I had given him countless blow jobs. I could always sense when he was going to come and I would finish him with my hand as& I licked his shaft or balls.& He never once complained or asked me to let him come in my mouth. The first time I let him come in my mouth was on our wedding night. I wanted to do something 'special'& for him that night. We were making love and I could tell he was real close to coming, so I looked into his eyes and said “Honey I want you to come in my mouth.â€& He immediately pulled his cock out from inside me. I guided his hard cock into my willing mouth and in seconds I could feel and taste his warm cum in my mouth. I’ve been hooked ever since. | 2006-09-24 23:13:53 |
| 420 | 2863 | I personally dont think ejaculating over a woman is very respectful.& I like seegeeses idea of doing something special for your lover by letting them come in your mouth.& & I would like that from time to time.& & | 2006-09-28 00:46:58 |
| 420 | 2866 | [user=851]jessee[/user] wrote: "I personally dont think ejaculating over a woman is very respectful.& I like seegeeses idea of doing something special for your lover by letting them come in your mouth.& & I would like that from time to time.& & " Why don't you ask for it then!!!! While you and your wife are making love just before you are ready to cum ,Say to her '" I want to cum in your mouth" If you were good to her earlier and got her off with your mouth, see might say YES! & | 2006-09-28 08:47:05 |
| 420 | 2868 | Seegeese your suggestion sounds good but... My wife has a few issues with sex having been sexually abused when she was 10-12.& For most of her adult life before I met her she only ever had sex while drunk.& As she does not drink anymore all the issues she has had around sex come to the fore.& & So she is fearful around sex (although improving markedly). The fear may have something to do with the abuse or coming from a strict religious household where her mother had and still has very Victorian ideas about sex.& This fear has led to vaginismus which as you probably know is a tightening of all the muscles around the vulva. So I guess you can see that IC has its challenges however its getting better and she is undergoing counselling and I am starting to understand more.& & Forums like this help me alot.& & & I love my wife but have to admit sometimes I wish it was as easy as you have suggested to get what I want.& & One of things I have learned is when woman undergo therapy for abuse part of their rehab is to take control of sex relations.& & Its to teach them to be in control which is something they were not in when they were abused by a usually older male (which was the case with my wife).& So I have to take a back seat while she learns to overcome her fear and I have to gently penetrate when we are love making to open her up to overcome her vaginismus and fear of the whole sex thing.& Once we get going she is fine and relaxes.& So to ask her to get out of her comfort zone will set her back somewhat.& I have tried it once and she was none to happy.& & Perhaps it was resistance but I think things are going very well so I feel on balance I would not rock the boat.& Yes and sometimes its frustrating so I have to masturbate or just join in to these sort of forums to feel supported.& | 2006-09-28 16:59:14 |
| 422 | 2611 | My wife does not like the word 'pussy' to describe her vagina.& & I think she is a bit conservative about naming genitals generally, because she has no word to describe my penis either. My question is - what are some nice alternative names to describe her vagina? Thanks& EP | 2006-09-11 18:05:39 |
| 422 | 2615 | poonani (pronounce pooh-nah-knee), it's Hawaiian. | 2006-09-11 18:40:55 |
| 422 | 2616 | I know of a girl who was supposed to give me an audio& tape of her singing once....it did have her singing on it, but I listened to the other side of the tape, and toward the end, it definitely seemed like she was masturbating.... because she kept saying, I am so hot, and telling herself, quit playing with your dingee...so it was her name | 2006-09-11 20:42:21 |
| 422 | 2617 | Someone on this board talks about her "coochie".& A friend of mine calls it her "hoo hah". I also kind of like the word "yoni". I used to hate the word pussy until I started visiting this site and read where someone said "I love my pussy".& That and everything else here helped me get over my aversion to it. It probably has more to do with how she feels about her body than the word itself, so finding a different another word might not make any difference. Just remember, if your wife is like most women, it's not her vagina that counts. It's her vulva and clitoris. ;) | 2006-09-11 21:13:58 |
| 422 | 2618 | The most appropriate word that conveys the variety and beauty of a woman's genitals is "FLOWER" A& "FLOWER"& has delicate petals and a flower bud both of which bloom when caressed correctly | 2006-09-12 05:59:46 |
| 422 | 2620 | I usually call my wife's pussy "My pomegranate". | 2006-09-12 10:36:20 |
| 422 | 2628 | poopaloo, schmende, mushmellow, geniche, coochi snorcher... there's a few more from my Vagina Monologue's Book. | 2006-09-12 15:51:47 |
| 422 | 2653 | I like the word "yoni", i think it's persian. | 2006-09-16 12:55:54 |
| 422 | 2663 | my girlfriend used to say POOCHA so i prefer to& call& it poocha | 2006-09-16 22:55:13 |
| 422 | 2666 | [user=775]Evan_P2003[/user] wrote: "she has no word to describe my penis either. " Just curious, do guys have cute pet names for their penis? We all know the four-letter names (cock, dick, etc.), but& the only other thing I've heard of is guys calling their penises by their own name with "little" in front of it (Little John, Little Bill, Little Dan, etc.) | 2006-09-16 23:08:49 |
| 422 | 2677 | [user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user] wrote: "[user=775]Evan_P2003[/user] wrote: "she has no word to describe my penis either. " Just curious, do guys have cute pet names for their penis? We all know the four-letter names (cock, dick, etc.), but& the only other thing I've heard of is guys calling their penises by their own name with "little" in front of it (Little John, Little Bill, Little Dan, etc.)"I know a guy that picked a guys name and called it "Larry."& Once I saw it, I saw why. :-& | 2006-09-17 10:20:06 |
| 422 | 2694 | [user=291]csenrab2002[/user] wrote: "The most appropriate word that conveys the variety and beauty of a woman's genitals is "FLOWER" A& "FLOWER"& has delicate petals and a flower bud both of which bloom when caressed correctly " How about that orchid at the top of the page here? Quite appropriate! | 2006-09-17 12:08:19 |
| 422 | 2695 | EP, I read something here in another post where Brad suggested a man talk to his wife/girlfriend's vulva. Maybe something like that would help her become more comfortable with her body -- if that is the problem. Of course, she may also be very uncomfortable with that idea, but I'm guessing it's not the word so much as how she feels about herself/her anatomy. Just a thought. Good luck. ;) | 2006-09-17 12:41:26 |
| 422 | 2733 | Absolutely right, the various types of orchid really illustrate the beauty of a woman's vulva. | 2006-09-18 06:28:47 |
| 422 | 2776 | I've heard of& women call it their HooHoo, here are& some more& names for the penis...peter,pecker, and woody.. | 2006-09-20 18:53:58 |
| 423 | 2613 | I have a much bigger sex drive than my wife.& & To me, part of a loving relationship would include enjoying sex a couple of times a week, but she seems content with sex every 2 – 3 or even 4 weeks. We have discussed this on and off, even through counselling, though it is difficult to talk about.& & We have addressed a number of problems she has raised (e.g. me reducing my work hours, keeping our bedroom door closed, and in our new house our bedroom is further away& from our child’s etc) but to no avail. She suffers a lot with PMT and sore breasts prior to her period.& & What with her period and the time she has sore breasts there is generally a window of& only 7 – 10 days each month in which she is not in some way restricted. Those other 20 or so days each month go very slowly I can tell you! I have tried a number of & ways to get her interested but nothing seems to result in more frequent sex.& & Often if I caress her in bed I get no response at all.& & At times when I am aroused, she& has what I call some great 'erection killer' lines, although& she may not even realise it. Many opportunities (times away from child etc) just slip by with no action.& & At other times it seems TV takes priority or "sleep is more important (than sex)". When we do have sex it is good and she enjoys it, but I’d just like it to be more frequent and spontaneous. I feel it would be nice if she recognised my desire for her and made the first move (even occasionally) or perhaps offered to do something for me (stroking etc) even if she did not desire sex herself.& But am I being selfish in thinking this? We have resolved several issues in our relationship but sex seems to be a sticking point.& & I keep coming back to wondering if we are going to survive for this reason. Thanks EP | 2006-09-11 18:30:10 |
| 423 | 2643 | I sympathise as I am in the same situation but the other way around. In my marriage it is my husband who has a very low sex drive. Things are okay when I initiate but sometimes just crave him to make the first move. I don't think you are being selfish in wanting SOME form of "action" from your wife like being masturbated or oral if she does not want to actually have sex - after all, we didn't get married to suddenly have our partners turn cold on us! The only thing I can suggest is to show her that you truly love her .... instead of being frustrated and upset (its hard I know!!) just continue to be loving towards her. Perhaps she has some self image issues? Tell her you find her attractive and how much you love her. Light some candles and offer her a back rub& - create a sexy atmosphere and don't give up. | 2006-09-14 10:48:09 |
| 423 | 2761 | Hi I just realised it was you I was replying to on that other topic.& & Silly me! I have tried suggesting things such as back massages etc but most times these ideas amount to nothing.& & I get to the point of feeling embarassed& suggesting things or 'dressing up' for bed.& & A man's ego can only take so many rejections or lack of response. It's a long time since she accepted a massage and I can't even think when she last gave me one. We have been away for 4 day weekends (alone in a cottage) and no sex occurs.& & I& could go on, many similarly frustrating occasions.& & Now I think back to the night I proposed and took her to a hotel and we didn't even get to have sex then, just a bit of a play in the shower next morning, off to breakfast and out shopping! Perhaps I should have seen& the warning signs!& & We have had counselling and supposedly resolved our (other) differences but now I realise we didn't really sort out the sex drive thing. My biggest fear is that she wants to have a child.& & Apart from the fact that it does not feel that such child will be conceived in the sort of loving relationship I would have dreamed about, the thought of even less sex (after a baby is on the scene) gives me a real chill. Regards EP | 2006-09-19 07:02:26 |
| 423 | 2783 | Can& you count the number of times you had sex with this woman, prior to your marriage? | 2006-09-21 06:55:21 |
| 423 | 2789 | No. Although it would seem to be more frequently than now.& & Having said that, yes, there were some signs then of differences in sex drive / interest but you know how it is, the issue doesn't seem to be enough (on it's own) to stop you getting married and you just hope things will improve. I'm interested in your line of thought. & | 2006-09-21 19:50:35 |
| 423 | 2791 | to hell with what i have to say, post your query here: [url=www.sosuave.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=26] www.sosuave.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=26 that is THE place to go for relationship advice. | 2006-09-22 01:52:12 |
| 424 | 2619 | Is there any lingerine that covers birthmark (on belly area) that is ideal for deep sexual activity that allows breast out, unfastens from bottom if I need to eat that meal or to cook my hot dog in oven and so on without uncovering the belly? | 2006-09-12 10:30:50 |
| 424 | 2630 | Why would you want to cover your birthmark? Why not see it as your own personal identity badge instead? I have a very large one on my bum and I feel proud of it. It makes my bum unique. Learn to love your birthmark and then you'll not have to cover it up. There is no reason why any decent person would have anything against them. | 2006-09-12 17:24:51 |
| 424 | 2631 | You're right in that there's nothing to be ashamed about, I accepted it and am proud of 5 (1 stillborn) of our kids.& We just are looking for something spicy since we plan on going to expensive hotel for few days.& I'm looking for black silk brief and a tux, honey, chocolate syrup, sex toys, shaven pussy, trimmed cock with ring, and things like that.& We're looking for something that totally turn us on so fierce that our money is well spent on that expensive hotel (including jazz, room with mirrors, king sized bed and so on). | 2006-09-13 06:46:07 |
| 424 | 2633 | Are we talking about the same type of birthmark...haha?!?!?!?!?!:D& Doesn't matter either way though. I'm not one for the fancy underwear, mainly because fancy bras make me itch and come out in rashes and spots because of that netting stuff they use in them so I have to stick to plain things. I used to be able to wear any bra but then I suddenly started suffering with the itching which would annoy me to death and when I took my bra off, there would be a line of red spots where the seam had been across my boobs because they were made out of that crappy netting stuff. Not sure what they call it but it is like fine net curtain stuff. It started first with some certain bras them spread to all of them that had that netting stuff in them....and nearly all fancy bras seem to be made with this stuff....for some reason. I had to throw out or give away most of my bras at that time and buy some new plain ones, preferably ones with no seams. LOL, a guy wouldn't get much excitement with me no matter what!!!:? I'll wear thongs on occasion but I prefer the comfort of cotton briefs most of the time and wear neither in bed or when I'm in night clothes after an evening shower...etc. | 2006-09-13 10:49:51 |
| 424 | 2669 | Sounds like fun, can& I come;)..lol just kidding | 2006-09-17 00:52:40 |
| 424 | 2732 | Lol, we could swing! ;) | 2006-09-18 06:26:21 |
| 424 | 2744 | this board is awsome there are realy interesting discussions that awnser alomst any question you have. | 2006-09-18 17:33:41 |
| 425 | 2637 | My girlfriend wants to try handballing or Fist#ng as most would know. Can anyone tell us if its safe for one to try this if they have high blood pressure and are on meds for it?ive heard numerous answers..thanks for any input.. | 2006-09-13 17:24:15 |
| 425 | 2782 | you should probably inquire on a gynecology forum | 2006-09-21 06:54:06 |
| 427 | 2646 | It's not that I CAN'T orgasm, it just doesn't seem to come easily to me! I masturbate most days and even when I masturbate I just don't reach the brink very easily and it can often take me well in excess of half an hour (on a good day!) and *I* KNOW my hot spots and how much pressure I need etc. I've used vibrators, clitoral bullets, my fingers, water jets from my spa bath ... most things and although I DO orgasm eventually ... it is the eventually that bothers me.& I try to make sure I am relaxed so I have plenty of time to enjoy myself and build up to it when I am masturbating so I don't rush into trying to get off ... it just takes me such a long time and I read all these posts from women who orgasm from the slightest touch! When my husband goes down on me or uses his hands or a vibe - more often than not it ends up in me getting so frustrated because I can sense that he feels it is taking a long time which then of course makes me feel pressured which results in orgasm being even further off ... or he's so far from "the spot" and I have to move his head or fingers or tell him left a bit, right a bit etc ... which again makes it all so much further off!!! We've tried me using a bullet on my clit while he penetrates me and again ... it works ... it just takes me such a long time that he's usually ready to cum himself well before I'm anywhere near! He is a very good and patient lover and does try to slow himself down ... it's me that's the problem!!! It's not like I don't know what I am doing! I'm 31, sexually open and adventurous, like to try new things and keep sex "interesting" with my husband& and I have been married for 10 years. I wish I could "get there" easier. I had an experience with a woman in the past and I made her orgasm so many times one after another..... I just wish it could be that easy for me! Any help? | 2006-09-14 11:17:59 |
| 427 | 2649 | If you keep thinking about it in the back of your head that you're taking long, then it will take long.& It's all psychological. You need to stop blaming yourself for this because it's not healthy.& You're not the only woman that has these kind of cases.& I for one, am a delayed orgasmer.& It can take me a bit to get there, that is if I'm not relaxed or not focused.& If I think, "oh gosh, I'm taking forever.& He must be getting tired."& It's not going to work.& Once I start thinking that, I tell him, "It's okay. You can stop.& I'm just not feeling it."& And he is understanding.& Yes, he feels bad, but I tell him that it's not him that's responsible, it's my own mindset.& But I don't hold a grudge over myself. I just learned to accept that I can't orgasm all the time, just because that's the way I am.& It's a part of me.& I am happy that I got some pleasure out of it to release some of the sexual tension.& You don't need an orgasm to be happy.& It's nice, but you don't always have to have one. | 2006-09-15 10:14:09 |
| 427 | 2687 | Well Ladybird I took your advice and just relaxed last night and had an amazing time! My lover is a very *very* attentive guy and takes so much time over pleasuring me. He doesn't ever stress about me not reaching orgasm quickly... He just enjoys foreplay and actually loves all of the buildup and I had four ... read em FOUR orgasms!!! .... I just wish I could get my husband to be that relaxed about my orgasms! I've talked to him about it so many times in the past and I try to keep sex with my hubby exciting and interesting, but he just doesn't seem that interested. I met my lover completely by accident - I didn't set out looking for an affair. He lives 5hrs away so we only see each other every couple of months anyway. Hub and I are going to go see relate to try to work on our marriage ... I know I need to stop seeing my lover as it isnt fair to my hub ... but on the other hand is it fair to me if he doesn't listen when I tell him what I need? *sigh* If thru counselling I can get hub to open up sexually then I'll be the happiest woman in the world. I think being with my lover again last night just helped me to realise sometimes I just have to ENJOY the feeling and not worry about orgasm rather than getting stressed and feeling the need to "chase it". | 2006-09-17 10:44:01 |
| 427 | 2738 | [user=815]lovelygirl23[/user] wrote: "Well Ladybird I took your advice and just relaxed last night and had an amazing time! My lover is a very *very* attentive guy and takes so much time over pleasuring me. He doesn't ever stress about me not reaching orgasm quickly... He just enjoys foreplay and actually loves all of the buildup and I had four ... read em FOUR orgasms!!! .... I just wish I could get my husband to be that relaxed about my orgasms! I've talked to him about it so many times in the past and I try to keep sex with my hubby exciting and interesting, but he just doesn't seem that interested. I met my lover completely by accident - I didn't set out looking for an affair. He lives 5hrs away so we only see each other every couple of months anyway. Hub and I are going to go see relate to try to work on our marriage ... I know I need to stop seeing my lover as it isnt fair to my hub ... but on the other hand is it fair to me if he doesn't listen when I tell him what I need? *sigh* If thru counselling I can get hub to open up sexually then I'll be the happiest woman in the world. I think being with my lover again last night just helped me to realise sometimes I just have to ENJOY the feeling and not worry about orgasm rather than getting stressed and feeling the need to "chase it". "I'm glad that you took my advice and had four orgasms.& I bet you felt great afterwards. I guess I'm just really dumbfounded about this "lover" thing.& | 2006-09-18 14:35:09 |
| 427 | 2739 | [user=815]lovelygirl23[/user] wrote: "Well Ladybird I took your advice and just relaxed last night and had an amazing time! My lover is a very *very* attentive guy and takes so much time over pleasuring me. He doesn't ever stress about me not reaching orgasm quickly... He just enjoys foreplay and actually loves all of the buildup and I had four ... read em FOUR orgasms!!! .... I just wish I could get my husband to be that relaxed about my orgasms! I've talked to him about it so many times in the past and I try to keep sex with my hubby exciting and interesting, but he just doesn't seem that interested. I met my lover completely by accident - I didn't set out looking for an affair. He lives 5hrs away so we only see each other every couple of months anyway. Hub and I are going to go see relate to try to work on our marriage ... I know I need to stop seeing my lover as it isnt fair to my hub ... but on the other hand is it fair to me if he doesn't listen when I tell him what I need? *sigh* If thru counselling I can get hub to open up sexually then I'll be the happiest woman in the world. I think being with my lover again last night just helped me to realise sometimes I just have to ENJOY the feeling and not worry about orgasm rather than getting stressed and feeling the need to "chase it". " Maybe your guilt was keeping you from orgasm.& The decent thing to do if you are dissatisfied with a romantic relationship is to end the one you are in before you start another.& If you aren't willing to give up on the first one, it's pretty selfish to start another one.& I hope for your husband's sake that he never finds out about your affair.& If my partner cheated on me, it would be over in an instant with no chance for reconciliation. | 2006-09-18 15:44:15 |
| 427 | 2742 | Yeah sorry kinda dropped that one in there didn't I ..... I don't see this guy often .... he's not due to come down again now until November so it's very rarely that we get together. It's mutually agreed that it all stops when he meets someone, or hub and I sort out our probs with our differing sex drives (waiting for an appt from a relate sex therapy counsellor) .... but until then it's some mutual satisfaction! Hub and I have had problems for a couple of years ... trust me I tried working on it ... its a long story.& He knows about my lover and turns a blind eye as there is no emotional attachment - its purely sex and I don't see the guy that often. My hub hasn't been able to get an erection and if he does, he can't sustain it very often.... very rarely in fact. He has been to the doc and there is nothing medical wrong. He normally uses a vibe to penetrate me. It's partly why he turns a blind eye to my lover. As long as I come home to him, don't rub it in his face and use protection. dfs3 ... I understand where you are coming from and why you said that it is possibly out of guilt that I have the trouble orgasming ... but firstly, it is hardly fair to judge me when you do not know all of the facts and secondly, this is a problem I have had for a long time - well before hub's erection problems started. I didn't go looking for an affair, but my husband said to me a few months back that he would understand if I felt the need to actually have full sex - we had a long talk about it and this was well before I met this guy anyway. I've been open and honest with him about it. | 2006-09-18 16:17:10 |
| 427 | 2746 | I've had a few PMs so thought I'd just follow up and clarify a few things. I know the true extent of my marriage and the way& that hub and I are with each other. It's& very easy to judge others when you do not know what goes on behind closed doors.& Maybe lover wasnt the best term& to use for this guy as someone suggested in a PM-& f*ck buddy sounds so crass though! I wouldn't know what else to refer to him as. I haven't had proper full sex with my husband in a long time and I am only 31 years old. I love him deeply but cannot go the rest of my natural life without sex ... I am far too much of a sexual creature and he knows that. His drive is very low anyway - he'd be quite happy with once a month and that changed even before his problem started. In the past we had a great sex life, but over time (we've been together 10 years) his drive dropped right down to almost nothing. Well before his erection problem I tried to spice things up and make them exciting and interesting ... I still do ... I bought sexy lingerie, created a nice atmosphere with candles, a nice dinner and the kids out of the way .... bought sexy films for us to watch together but nothing really worked. He doesn't even get semi hard and has no real drive In the last two years I can count the number of times that hub and I have had sex& on one hand! He even talked about letting me go .... ie splitting up so that I could find someone else but it isnt what I want. When he first suggested me finding someone to have the physical side of things with, I couldn't even entertain the thought, but when it became obvious that things werent' going to improve or change for him (we tried tablets and they don't work for him) then I met this guy by complete accident ... and the rest kinda happened. Hub and I talked at length about it before anything happened and he& has basic conditions to it ... I keep myself safe and always tell someone where I am, I don't give him details or rub his nose in it and I use protection. Hub knows that the guy I see is 5hrs away and he even said he's happier with that than somebody close by because we aren't going to bump into him when we are out, and because of the distance it is a very occasional thing.... literally enough to fulfil my raw needs.& I saw this guy this past weekend but before that it was the end of July that we saw each other and it was about two months the time before that. I have no emotional attachment to the other guy and he knows the score with my marriage. We purposely know very little about each other's personal lives& to keep it that way. Hub and I are waiting for an appt to come through with a sex therapist to really get things out in the open - its one of the reasons I started posting in the first place. We don't want to split up, but he also realises that if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together it cannot be a sexless marriage. If we can fix the problems then I would cut all ties with the other guy without hesitating, but unfortunately masturbating and vibrators aren't any substitute for the real thing. It must obviously be very easy to look on my situation and condemn me for what I do, however every situation is unique and every person is unique. I'll& probably not be posting again& as this forum obviously isnt the right place for me, but I appreciate the private notes. | 2006-09-18 18:39:47 |
| 427 | 2750 | I apologize for the misunderstanding, but an affair by its very nature involves one party not knowing about the actions of the other.& If both parties are OK with it, then its an open relationship (or you're swingers) which is what your situation seems to be. However, everything about your previous post indicated that he didn't know, and if that were the case I would stand by my previous statement 100%. | 2006-09-18 19:35:43 |
| 427 | 2760 | Don't leave the forum, I think you raise& a very valid point about differing sex drives. I have the same problem with my wife and I posted on this recently.& & In her case there are various issues, like she has a couple of weeks per month with PMT and very sore breasts, but many other issues she has raised we have tried to address, although with no result (i.e. no improvement in her sex drive). I am equally as frustrated as you. EP | 2006-09-19 06:51:46 |
| 427 | 2795 | Try Sentia pills for women. This thing has helped my fife to return her sex drive and her orgasms after birth. | 2006-09-22 05:14:34 |
| 428 | 2651 | Question for the women wich do you prefer Regular sex or Oral sex | 2006-09-16 11:41:31 |
| 428 | 2652 | I'd have to say both.& I love the feeling of my boyfriend kissing me down there, and I also love the feeling of him being in me.& It's a tie, and I can't say I love one more than the other because they equally mean something to me. | 2006-09-16 12:35:53 |
| 428 | 2654 | They are part of the same thing, and i like both. Oral is more a foreplay (or interlude), intercourse is the "real thing". | 2006-09-16 13:09:31 |
| 428 | 2655 | I assume that by "Regular sex" you mean penile-vaginal intercourse. I honestly think we all, men and women alike,& need to get over this idea that only intercourse& is "real" sex. It's all real and whatever works for you is best. Since I've only been able to orgasm through stimulating my clitoris by myself, I can't say that I really know. Unless I was VERY aroused at the point of penetration, intercourse always hurt. Cunnilingus was sort of a psychological thrill (OH MY GOD, I can't believe he's doing THAT! WOW!), but I couldn't relax enough to really& enjoy it. I know that I just haven't been comfortable enough with& the guys I've been with to let go and allow it to happen. I sure do hope it does happen some day. Anyway, since I do seem to need direct stimulation of my clitoris, and can't imagine how I'll be able to do that during intercourse, it seems like it would be easier for me to orgasm while receiving oral stimulation -- from a guy with whom I feel at ease, and believe& me, I am DYING to find him. | 2006-09-16 13:46:23 |
| 428 | 2656 | [user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user] wrote: "Anyway, since I do seem to need direct stimulation of my clitoris, and can't imagine how I'll be able to do that during intercourse, it seems like it would be easier for me to orgasm while receiving oral stimulation -- from a guy with whom I feel at ease, and believe& me, I am DYING to find him." NoMore - I also need direct stimulation to get off.& & When I engage in IC my boyfriend will thrust away, and when he gets close to ejaculating, I then reach down and play with my clitoris until we both orgasm together.& Have you ever tried that before?& It works really well for me, and I thought I'd share that pointer with you. | 2006-09-16 15:17:15 |
| 428 | 2657 | I guess since my last boyfriend and I always used missionary, I was never able to reach my clitoris during intercourse. I hope I can assert myself with the next guy to try a position that would allow for it. Do you know of any? It just seems like all that thrusting would interfere with what I need to do. I've also thought that maybe I could bring myself to orgasm first and then have intercourse since it probably wouldn't hurt at that point. I'm not sure how many guys can hold off that long, though. It usually takes a while for me to climax by myself. | 2006-09-16 15:24:44 |
| 428 | 2658 | Hi No MOre...have you tried on top? you can guide the penis to almost any position you want also wonderufl posiition t stimulate yoru G spot....great to squirt..Luisa | 2006-09-16 15:35:21 |
| 428 | 2659 | It will definitely be on my list next opportunity that comes along! Thanks. | 2006-09-16 15:42:47 |
| 428 | 2661 | [user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user] wrote: "I guess since my last boyfriend and I always used missionary, I was never able to reach my clitoris during intercourse. I hope I can assert myself with the next guy to try a position that would allow for it. Do you know of any? It just seems like all that thrusting would interfere with what I need to do. I've also thought that maybe I could bring myself to orgasm first and then have intercourse since it probably wouldn't hurt at that point. I'm not sure how many guys can hold off that long, though. It usually takes a while for me to climax by myself."My boyfriend and I usually end with missionary because we like to see each other's faces.& I tell him when I need to play with myself when he's thrusting, so he'll back up a little, and then I'll put my hand where I need it.... sometimes it adds an extra vibration for him... Some other positions that are good for you to play with your clit, you can be on top, and also doggy-style! | 2006-09-16 22:37:24 |
| 428 | 2664 | It's funny, I've always had an aversion to doggie-style, I think just because of the name. But one of my friends mentioned that it works for her because her boyfriend's penis hits her G-spot that way. Now I've got two reasons to overcome my aversion to doggie-style. Maybe I can think of a better name for it. | 2006-09-16 22:59:28 |
| 428 | 2668 | what exactly is foreplay? | 2006-09-17 00:45:35 |
| 428 | 2674 | foreplay 1 : erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse 2 : action or behavior that precedes an event Meaning, before you have sex, whatever you do to get you aroused in order to engage in intercourse, it what is called foreplay.& Examples: kissing, caressing, oral sex.& | 2006-09-17 10:13:43 |
| 428 | 2675 | [user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user] wrote: "It's funny, I've always had an aversion to doggie-style, I think just because of the name. But one of my friends mentioned that it works for her because her boyfriend's penis hits her G-spot that way. Now I've got two reasons to overcome my aversion to doggie-style. Maybe I can think of a better name for it." Many books refer it to as a from behind position.& I really like that position because he can hit the g-spot, he also can play with your clit while thrusting, or you can play with it, whichever you prefer. | 2006-09-17 10:16:33 |
| 428 | 2692 | Looks like "from behind" is also on my list of positions to try. ;) | 2006-09-17 11:37:12 |
| 428 | 2708 | maybe we could call it, "on all fours?" | 2006-09-17 19:05:41 |
| 428 | 2709 | I've also heard "rear entry" but that's a little ambiguous. :>> | 2006-09-17 19:23:50 |
| 428 | 2714 | You see, when I see rear entry I think of anal sex. | 2006-09-17 20:47:17 |
| 428 | 2717 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "You see, when I see rear entry I think of anal sex. " I agree. And that's not really my cup of tea. :-O | 2006-09-17 20:55:44 |
| 428 | 2718 | I& know who would do anal that is like gross. | 2006-09-17 20:57:35 |
| 428 | 2719 | [user=661]DracoXXX89[/user] wrote: "I& know who would do anal that is like gross." Well, many people do enjoy it. It's just not for me. | 2006-09-17 20:59:18 |
| 428 | 2727 | Anal sex is all in preference. :) I personally like it.& | 2006-09-17 21:44:00 |
| 428 | 2745 | my thing is I wouldn't want to put my penis where you take a crap from that just sounds gross. | 2006-09-18 18:09:53 |
| 428 | 2747 | You wear a condom. | 2006-09-18 18:42:29 |
| 428 | 2752 | but wouldn't that hurt& with the tightnes& of:-/ and don't you flinch and end up clenching and hurt your bf | 2006-09-18 20:40:48 |
| 428 | 2755 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "Anal sex is all in preference. :) I personally like it.& " And don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed for what you like. As long as you and your boyfriend communicate honestly and you're not hurting anyone or yourself, be free to do as you please with whom you please. | 2006-09-18 20:56:41 |
| 428 | 2756 | [user=661]DracoXXX89[/user] wrote: "but wouldn't that hurt& with the tightnes& of:-/ and don't you flinch and end up clenching and hurt your bf"No.& He says the tightness feels good.& You have to stay as relaxed as possible or it will hurt and blood will occur... You have work your way up to the size because otherwise you're not going to be comfortable. | 2006-09-18 21:09:56 |
| 428 | 2794 | My wife likes both. But I think "sex" in her mind is regular and oral is smth additional. | 2006-09-22 05:11:33 |
| 430 | 2662 | why there is a sizzling sound when a girl or a women pass urine.while in men there is no sound .is& this is due& to some anatomy difference.when my girlfriend urinate there is a seeeeeeeeee& sound that i can heared in my room too very next to attach bath. she used to be feel guilty that i always detect what she is doin in toilet. one more question: during full arousal it is difficult to urinate for men,is it also dufficult for girl? | 2006-09-16 22:49:22 |
| 430 | 2681 | Hello I make that same sound too, lol. I suppose it is just down to anatomy difference and all women make that noise when urine is coming out at reasonable force. As for the other question, I think that the need to pee is supressed when fully aroused, at least temporarily. The body has ways of doing things like this so such things as urination/hunger/thirst/passing a stool, don't interfear with an important temporary action. This can apply in the fight or flight mode when the person is frightened or extremely stressed and I suppose it also happens to an extent during arousal. I find that I just don't feel a need to pee during arousal, it just seems to go away and then come back later when it's done. | 2006-09-17 10:31:41 |
| 430 | 2682 | hy Canis Lupess and & & Ladybug & & i espect replies from& & u ..where ar u& & i think u have& & a treasure of knowlodge& & plzzzzz asnser that ques | 2006-09-17 10:32:26 |
| 430 | 2684 | can some one give me the exact& reason for that sizzling sound& & sure reason......not may& be may& be............can someone help me in finding& reality | 2006-09-17 10:37:14 |
| 430 | 2685 | LOL, I just have....:D It's above your second post. | 2006-09-17 10:37:29 |
| 430 | 2689 | hy Canis LupessLadybug i am a big fan of yours u have great sex knowledge can you& give me the exact& reason for that sizzling sound& & sure reason......not may& be may& be............can someone help me in finding& reality | 2006-09-17 10:48:41 |
| 430 | 2690 | i have checked the sound& od my girlfriend urinating& today& and concentrate on it itt sound laike there is a snake & overe there& & lol & & i used to make fun of my gf | 2006-09-17 10:56:08 |
| 430 | 2699 | Part of the reason is that women have a urethra that is two inches (5cm) long and men have on 6 inches (15cm) long so they tend to have more force behind their flow. I use to believe women tinkled but they tend to gush. :D Brad | 2006-09-17 14:37:24 |
| 430 | 2703 | Haha, yes, if we rush to the loo with a full bladder& after having to hold it in a while, it comes out with quite some force. That would explain the sound. First thing in the morning is a good example. For those times when you go to the loo just to empty your bladder before having to go out or whatever and there is only a small amount, you don't get that hissing sound because there is no force behind it. It just trickles out, lol. | 2006-09-17 15:51:47 |
| 430 | 2721 | What country are you from Usmanravian:-/ | 2006-09-17 21:19:52 |
| 430 | 2728 | i like that sound that gush out of vigina it make my penis erect again& & and when my gf came out of wash room ,,i am again ready for another& tour in sex world | 2006-09-17 23:44:12 |
| 430 | 2731 | my gf answer me& and i am amaized& she said & i make a hissing sound bcos i dont have a& 6 inch silencer& like you lol & & whats ur opinion | 2006-09-17 23:55:01 |
| 430 | 2884 | I have heard some girls when they pee& whose sound is just like guys..I was visiting someone, and& her sister, actually& a 17 year old girl who had come home from school, went into the bathroom (I didn't see who went in)& and heard the pee sound. It& just went on for a very long time. It sounded& JUST like a guy.& It was a she who& came out! | 2006-09-30 18:03:46 |
| 430 | 2885 | Being in a dorm at school, I am able to hear many girls go to the bathroom when I'm in there.& Some I believe squat over the seat which causes it to sound more like a guys stream.& But there are times when it does have a hissing sound.& It all varies on the woman's body and how fast the stream comes out. | 2006-09-30 22:04:37 |
| 430 | 2888 | this sound make them more sexy & i love my gf body | 2006-10-01 09:17:18 |
| 430 | 3514 | I wonder if it doesn't have something to do whether the woman is standing or sitting... I have dated two women who could stand and pee. One made a loud hissing noise and the other one didn't. The one who did only seemed to make the noise sitting, not standing. Any of the ladies on this forum done any research one way or another? | 2007-01-05 23:41:32 |
| 430 | 3521 | the reason why they make that sound is because when you squat to pee (1) the 6" silencer is not there (2) the broken pipe at the wall (no silencer to direct or restict the flow) (3) the flow is being interfeared or manipulated by the labia. the bigger the lips the more flapping of the lips. if you go on a site where they have pissing videos you will see what i am talking about | 2007-01-09 09:24:04 |
| 430 | 6565 | A woman's urinary opening is round and puckered. A man's is a slit, and I suspect that makes a world of difference. When pee rushes through a woman's, it can make a whistling rippling noise, especially if she is past her youth. To my knowledge, men just never can make much of a sound with their bodies. They make sound when the stream hits the ground or the porcelain god. | 2009-04-06 01:24:55 |
| 430 | 6575 | If a guy doesn't pull back his foreskin to urinate, it can sometimes make a hissing noise. It tends to go all over the place though (instead of in a neatish stream), and for this reason I only do it when sitting (although looking at the state of public toilets, a lot of guys don't bother! :X). I'm guessing that's because the foreskin tends to vibrate due to the fluid flowing over it (or something). LOL you could go into the fluid mechanics and say that because a womans urethra isn't as long as a mans, there isn't as much time for the fluid to attain a laminar flow, and so it is more turbulent when it emerges, and so it comes out in more of a spray than a stream. The shape of the opening probably makes a difference as well. The fact that there is a larger friction force for a longer section of pipe (A.K.A. more backpressure) means that for a given amount of bladder pressure, the velocity of the fluid is lower for a man (assuming the same diameter); so perhaps the surface tension of the fluid has a greater influence on a mans stream than a womans. Sorry - probably shouldn't have let my geek show [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img]! Anywho. Hope this helps | 2009-04-07 09:28:53 |
| 431 | 2665 | my girlfriend insist me to drink her urine ,plz thell me& is there is any big health or hygenic problem by doing this.she used to drink my urine while performin oral sex on me early in morning and she enjoy it a lot bcos there is a slush gushing out when my bladder is full& and my gf took it as a apple juice....i also feel it strenthen our relation& too.ok can i drink my gf urine? | 2006-09-16 23:00:44 |
| 431 | 2679 | Urine is sterile so there are no bacteria to worry about unless she has a urinary tract infection....and I'm sure she'd know about that if she had one. Urine consists of salt, water and urea, waste product that is filtered out of the blood by the liver and kidneys which would otherwise poison us. I don't think that drinking some urine is going to kill anyone though.& I think that the conditioned aversion to urine is what would stop most people from wanting to drink it though. I've seen plenty of footage on TV where chimps drink their own urine and that of others whilst it is squirting out, lol. It doesn't seem to hurt them.:D | 2006-09-17 10:25:37 |
| 431 | 2686 | thanks CANIS 4 replying & plzzzzz other member reply& also | 2006-09-17 10:39:51 |
| 431 | 2698 | They must have some pretty interesting TV shows in the UK. :P Brad | 2006-09-17 14:31:32 |
| 431 | 2706 | I've seen that video of the chimp drinking his own pee.& It was kinda funny.. looked like he was drinking out of a water fountain. But I have see footage on a video of the guys having a urine snow cone.& The guy that ate it was so grossed out when eating it, that he threw up. | 2006-09-17 18:54:38 |
| 431 | 2736 | Haha, Brad. I'll tell you where I saw that actually. It was a series on animal planet called Monkey Business and it was basically about a centre for chimps and other primates somewhere in the UK. Some of the things they did were so funny but others grossed me out like when they came down with colds....Yuck...and then the urine thing...haha!!! | 2006-09-18 10:14:18 |
| 431 | 2741 | Yeah, urine is sterile, but that doesn't mean you should drink it.& Sterile just means there is no bacteria in it.& Urine has a large amount of ammonia and chlorine in it (as well as excess salt).& Drinking bleach and eating fertilizer is probably not the best idea, even if it is diluted.& Will it kill you to drink it?& Not unless you consume mass quantities of it.& But keep in mind that your body expells these chemicals for a reason. | 2006-09-18 16:04:39 |
| 432 | 2667 | & i used to do breast massage of my girlfriend with partially hot olive oil on regular basis.its been quite a long thime we ar doin this,,i have a quention now is breast massage help in increasing breast size.honestly i do this massage to seduce my girl friend not to increase size because she has already a big couple....socan it also be helpful in breast enhasment | 2006-09-16 23:10:10 |
| 432 | 2676 | No, massaging the breasts doesn't increase their size. The size of boobs comes down to genes and the general weight of a woman and can also be influenced by such things as the pill. The larger a woman is, the larger her boobs are likely to be. I've noticed that larger women who lose weight also go down several cup sizes as well. Women who are pregant or lactating& might get an increase in size too. Other than implants, pregnancy/lactating& and, to an extent and not in all cases, taking the pill, I don't think there are any other ways of making boobs bigger. | 2006-09-17 10:19:55 |
| 432 | 2678 | Exactly what Canis says.& Rubbing boobs doesn't help your boobs get bigger.& IF it did, I'd be rubbing them all the time. | 2006-09-17 10:22:16 |
| 432 | 2683 | Haha, yeah, I suppose a lot of girls would.:D Implants would go out of business too. Still, I'm happy with the size of my average inbetween sized ones. Too big causes more physcial problems that I have witnessed in my mother and oldest sister so I don't envy enormous boobs. | 2006-09-17 10:35:55 |
| 432 | 2688 | but big tits girl are more appealing for male community rather than small ones.............................big breast are the symbol of& sex desire although it is not true& but& & big hooters attracts more it is true& so ladiess ladiesssss& & concentrate on breast enlargement techniques& ,,,,it helps u | 2006-09-17 10:44:55 |
| 432 | 2696 | Actually, no, I won't. If a guy is going to judge me purely on the size of my breasts, he can go fourth and multiply. I have no time for guys like that and just as many blokes like small boobs as those who like big ones. In fact, so research shows, most prefer average size that just fit into their hand. In fact, most blokes just like boobs regardless of their size. They just like boobs. I'll not be a slave to what shallow guys want, no chance on this Earth. | 2006-09-17 14:20:50 |
| 432 | 2701 | Hi, I have to disagree. Yes, large breasts are sex symbols, but most of the guys I know are happy with a mouthful or handful. It is one thing to admire large breasts and another to value them in your partner. When guys stare at large breast they are staring at breasts, not the woman who has them. There are more popular actresses with small or tiny breasts than there are ones with large ones. Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson, mother and daughter, demonstrate having small breasts didn't stand in the way of them becoming very popular, during a span of over 40 years. Both have gone topless in movies, which means more than a few people wanted to see their breasts. Pamela Anderson is more infamous than famous. She isn't known for being a great actress, but as a sex symbol. Women tend to place more importance in their breasts then men. Men are primarily interested in women for what makes them a woman, that which is between their legs. Hence the scent of the vulva sexually arouses men. Everything else is garnish. I don't mean to reduce women to being nothing more a vulva/vagina, but to look at the biological drives that attract men and women. Men would be nothing more than a walking penis if this were true, oh maybe we are! :-D What physical attribute men find most desirable in women is socially determined. Brad | 2006-09-17 15:05:05 |
| 432 | 2722 | it doesn't realy matter what size your breasts are ladies as long as you are kind caring and have a nice personality:cool: | 2006-09-17 21:22:44 |
| 432 | 2725 | Exactly. | 2006-09-17 21:41:54 |
| 432 | 2735 | Yes, thats rights. A guy can bag himself a girl with big tits but she could be a total cow at the same time and as thick as two short planks along with it. Wouldn't get much fun out of somebody like that even if they do have big tits. | 2006-09-18 10:11:24 |
| 432 | 2737 | Ya know this could relate to some women who dump their guys that they are dating because their penis isn't big enough/small enough.& Even though big doesn't always mean better. It's how you work it! | 2006-09-18 10:18:22 |
| 432 | 2740 | I'd like to think that men who get dumped over the size of their penis are the men who can't or won't perform other kinds of acts on women.& It's common knowledge (to those that bother to look into it) that women overwhelmingly respond to oral sex more than intercourse.& If you can blow a woman's mind with oral sex, there are very few (I think) that would worry about the size of the man's penis. (Though if the penis were so small that it couldn't actually engage in intercourse, that might be a different story.& Thankfully for men, that's an extremely rare case.) | 2006-09-18 15:54:32 |
| 432 | 2743 | That's true.& I once dated a guy who's penis was very skinny and short, but he was okay in the oral sex department.& Nothing exciting to write home to mom about. | 2006-09-18 16:54:42 |
| 432 | 2850 | This is my first post although I have been a keen reader for about 2 months.& I guess I wanted to find out more about women as my wife has a few issues around sex. eg Vagismus As far as breasts are concerned I prefer small but I realise its individual.& As others have said the desirability of the body wears off if the person inside is a pain.& I find it hard to be with a woman for any length of time if she is& not someone of substance no matter how gorgeous on the outside. | 2006-09-26 23:12:00 |
| 432 | 2853 | Ah, somebody else with vaginismus too then? I have vaginismus also. Your wife is certainly not alone. | 2006-09-27 08:13:25 |
| 432 | 2940 | personally i like it when my breasts are massaged but if a guy only likes me for my size well he can look but will never get to caress them;) | 2006-10-05 21:09:59 |
| 432 | 2952 | I agree with you.& I was only saying that I prefer small breasts not that its compulsory :) | 2006-10-07 02:51:53 |
| 432 | 3180 | [user=498]usmanravian[/user]...it's sexist people like you who make women feel horrible about their bodies...instead os saying focus on their breast sizes...why now tell them that they look perfect the way they are? | 2006-11-15 08:07:02 |
| 432 | 3181 | [user=986]54321[/user] wrote: " [user=498]usmanravian[/user]...it's sexist people like you who make women feel horrible about their bodies...instead os saying focus on their breast sizes...why now tell them that they look perfect the way they are? " Maybe he doesn't believe it?& He's wrong to speak for all men on the subject, but if he prefers breasts of a certain size or shape for himself, then more power to him.& There are billions of people out there, anyone can afford to be a little picky. | 2006-11-15 11:09:18 |
| 432 | 3182 | 54321, thanks for sticking up for us women. I didn't really find his words that offensive because I don't take things to heart when it's coming from someone's mouth that I don't know.& He does have his own right to be picky.& Women are even picky about their mates too.& I guess just some of us don't verbalize it or type it out for the world to see. | 2006-11-15 12:04:08 |
| 432 | 3183 | As a male,& I have to admit that& I'm a little& picky On the other hand, I don't find it appropriate at all to tell women to focus on enlarging their breasts. I don't care even if it his own opinion...I still don't find it right to tell women that may already be insecure about their bodies that their breasts are too small. If you have these opinions, keep them to yourself.& Anyone who& watches& tv will notice that the& media already makes a lot of women feel bad about themselves without you people telling them the same thing. [-( | 2006-11-15 16:16:06 |
| 432 | 3259 | [user=986]54321[/user] wrote: "As a male,& I have to admit that& I'm a little& picky On the other hand, I don't find it appropriate at all to tell women to focus on enlarging their breasts. I don't care even if it his own opinion...I still don't find it right to tell women that may already be insecure about their bodies that their breasts are too small. If you have these opinions, keep them to yourself.& Anyone who& watches& tv will notice that the& media already makes a lot of women feel bad about themselves without you people telling them the same thing. [-( " As much as I agree with your point of view, 54321, I don't think chastising usmanravian will help him in any way. His views are a reflection of his upbringing, and probably a lot of it has to do with our repressed/obsessed (ironic, isn't it) society that makes sex simultaneously evil and sinful, yet the end-all to everything. I wish I could remember the whole quote, but I read something many years ago, perhaps in Ann Landers' column, that said the real sexual revolution will begin when people learn to respect each other. There was more, but I don't remember it now. Men in our society are now experiencing the same image problem with the media making six-pack abs and bodybuilder chests the holy grail of maleness. I'll confess to being turned on my movie star or bodybuilder looks in a man, but that's not what I'm seeking in a mate and I'd never criticize anyone for not living up to that totally unrealistic standard. You know, if you really fall for someone, you can be very turned on by his looks even if he's nothing like a movie star or a bodybuilder. usmanravian, you may someday fall madly in love with a woman who has small breasts. She may look nothing at all like the image you have of a perfect woman and you may be totally turned on by her looks simply because of the feelings you have for her. | 2006-11-25 10:04:21 |
| 432 | 3260 | Hi, As the two images shown below demonstrate, little breasts can be tons of fun with the right attitude. The young lady is having fun showing off her little breasts, and the collection of beads demonstrates that guys wanted to see them. Some may not approve of this means of getting attention but, it does demonstrate that little breasts can get a guy's attention. | 2006-11-25 10:37:05 |
| 432 | 3261 | People have a right to prefer certain attributes over others but& I don't agree with& [user=498]usmanravian[/user] telling women in here& to make their breasts bigger because it will make them more desirable. It makes me sad that any woman feels the need to have breast implants just to comform to society's ideal for what society thinks a woman should be. | 2006-11-25 17:47:10 |
| 432 | 3264 | Although large breasts can be very nice other than just appearance, such as a comfy pillow after a bad day at work, or just for playing, almost any size of breast can fill this role for me more importance lies in natural looking breasts, so Implants are just out of the question, and we're still only speaking of Physical Appearances which are a very low rung on my wants in a woman. I am a man, and I do not care about large breasts, so there it is proven, not all men like large breasts. But hey, the more men that do act like jerks about breast size, the more I look better. | 2006-11-26 02:31:00 |
| 432 | 3555 | [user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user] wrote: "[user=986]54321[/user] wrote: "As a male,& I have to admit that& I'm a little& picky On the other hand, I don't find it appropriate at all to tell women to focus on enlarging their breasts. I don't care even if it his own opinion...I still don't find it right to tell women that may already be insecure about their bodies that their breasts are too small. If you have these opinions, keep them to yourself.& Anyone who& watches& tv will notice that the& media already makes a lot of women feel bad about themselves without you people telling them the same thing. [-( " As much as I agree with your point of view, 54321, I don't think chastising usmanravian will help him in any way. His views are a reflection of his upbringing, and probably a lot of it has to do with our repressed/obsessed (ironic, isn't it) society that makes sex simultaneously evil and sinful, yet the end-all to everything. I wish I could remember the whole quote, but I read something many years ago, perhaps in Ann Landers' column, that said the real sexual revolution will begin when people learn to respect each other. There was more, but I don't remember it now. Men in our society are now experiencing the same image problem with the media making six-pack abs and bodybuilder chests the holy grail of maleness. I'll confess to being turned on my movie star or bodybuilder looks in a man, but that's not what I'm seeking in a mate and I'd never criticize anyone for not living up to that totally unrealistic standard. You know, if you really fall for someone, you can be very turned on by his looks even if he's nothing like a movie star or a bodybuilder. usmanravian, you may someday fall madly in love with a woman who has small breasts. She may look nothing at all like the image you have of a perfect woman and you may be totally turned on by her looks simply because of the feelings you have for her. " Remember, I said that I didn't like the idea that he posts something that could make already potentially insecure women into getting implants. I'll be honest, I really don't like unnatural breasts. As long as the woman has self-confidence/pride in her appearance along with a good personality, that's all I look for along with many other males I know. | 2007-01-16 19:15:49 |
| 432 | 3558 | it doesn't matter what size breast you have as long as you are a kind person then I'm good,& I dont care bout size its who you are that matters to me | 2007-01-18 18:38:56 |
| 432 | 3563 | Wearing no Bra can make a women breast more saggy from stretching.AKA the tribe women on National Geographic.And Brad thats a funny photo for you to post lol... I can add one too! This women is 23 of age and has no kids.She is unhappy with her breast cuz there too small..Don't ask me why And as a 17yr old guy Ive never dated and I do not judge on Looks in a women.I judge only on personality and health habits.If a women is comfortable with herself and we go together good I would date her.No matter size,weight,disformity,disability or issues or even race.You cannot control who you fall in love with ^ ^! | 2007-01-18 23:49:47 |
| 432 | 3564 | Hi, If you go to the website linked to below you will see that wearing a bra does not prevent sagging of the breasts. That is a myth. www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php www.007b.com/breast_gallery_A.php Brad. | 2007-01-19 09:51:39 |
| 432 | 3565 | Interesting my sis who is& a doctor told me that the weight can cause the skin to stretch .She must be wrong:shock: | 2007-01-19 11:22:28 |
| 432 | 3566 | All boobs are going to sag to a point, bra or no bra but, with a bra, they won't end up like the breasts on tribal women where they come down to their stomachs or lower, even when they are smaller in size. | 2007-01-19 14:01:28 |
| 432 | 3567 | Hi, I don't know about that, as many of the breasts shown on the website I link to above have quite a bit of sag, and I have seen teenaged women with small saggy breasts, even those who haven't been pregnant. Many of the tribal women also suffer from poor nutrition and health care, which may contribute to the appearance of their breasts, and skin and body in general. They also tend to have multiple pregnancy. Some health problems have been linked to the wearing of a bra, especially for more than 12 hours a day. As I mention on the website, if bras are so vital why were they invented less than 100 years ago, when breasts have been around for tens of thousands of years?& Brad | 2007-01-19 14:51:01 |
| 432 | 3568 | The modern bra has only existed for 100 years, but it's not true to say that breast support has only been practiced for 100 years.& For several hundred years before the invention of the bra, women used garments like corsets for the same (and congruent) purposes.& Before that, women have been depicted as far back as classical greece wrapping their breasts with garments or other cloths apparently for the same purpose as the modern bra.& | 2007-01-19 14:58:24 |
| 432 | 3571 | Hi, I don't believe the average working woman wore a corset or the like, as they would have gotten in the way of nursing. You also couldn't actually work wearing a corset, as women passed out. You can't do by the Hollywood version of fashion history. Brad | 2007-01-19 16:45:41 |
| 432 | 3575 | Still, if you were a woman and you had decent sized boobs and you had to do some running or even fast walking, you'd soon realise how painful and uncomfortable it is. A bra helps to stop that from happening...providing it fits correctly. | 2007-01-20 07:00:20 |
| 432 | 3585 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, I don't believe the average working woman wore a corset or the like, as they would have gotten in the way of nursing. You also couldn't actually work wearing a corset, as women passed out. You can't do by the Hollywood version of fashion history. Brad " You can't go by your own hollywood version of history and assume all corsets were made to be constrictive.& Just as bras today serve various purposes (some vain, like push-up bras, and some practical), corsets also provided various uses.& Yes, some vain women wore excessively tight corsets to appear fashionable, but there were more practical corsets that allowed for physical movement.& In fact, according to wikipedia (take it with a grain of salt if you like), the later years of the corset wearing era actually saw the manufacture of sport-corsets, similar in purpose to modern sports bras. And regardless of any folly in the design of corsets, it doesn't change the fact that women wore supportive undergarments of various design for centuries or millenia before the corset came about, and they have continued to wear them after corsets went out of vogue. It's no coincidence that busty women everywhere, after being properly fitted for a bra, routinely claim reduced stress on their backs and increased comfort in their daily activities. | 2007-01-21 20:41:43 |
| 433 | 2680 | Well I'm a very happy chickie today as I've been able to cross another thing off of my sexual fantasies list this weekend! Do many people actually try to act out their "safe" fantasies? I don't have anything too outlandish and have a very willing lover!! So far ... I've had& a threesome with two guys lavishing attention on me (def recommend this one!) and last night my lover fingered me in a bar before going up to his hotel room where he tied me to the bed and blindfolded me. He's a fireman and he made love to me with the handle of his axe inside me while I was blindfolded (he did say he'd sterilised it first!) as well as his cock. Hot damn mama! | 2006-09-17 10:26:13 |
| 433 | 2748 | & I wish& I could be there it sounds like fun:D | 2006-09-18 18:51:37 |
| 433 | 2772 | Wow!& That is bit kinkier than my husband and I get.& I don't think he would let another man in our bedroom (although that might be fun!).& I love playing out fantasies whenever possible too.& My husband recently got me a book called Enchanted Erotic Bedtime Stories for Women which features women's fantasies in fairy tale format. One of the stories is Beauty and the Beast, where the beast is part man part beast.& This really got me and my husband going, and we have played this fantasy out so many ways, my favorite being him wearing a mask of a beast (I'm not sure where he got it but I nearly fainted when he came into our bedroom wearing it).& Needless to say it gets really wild when he puts it on.& We also have gotten into ice - which I also got the idea from this book, in the Bluebeard story.& I am now into reading erotic books about fantasies and always looking for new ideas.>:) | 2006-09-20 12:27:12 |
| 433 | 2775 | My fantasy is me and two girls havin sex...lol classic guy fantasy | 2006-09-20 15:59:41 |
| 433 | 2777 | any1 else hav any fantasies they wanna share & | 2006-09-20 20:17:39 |
| 433 | 2779 | I want to get some hooker shoes, and I want to wear them in the session... But my most treasured fantasy is to have sex out in the yard.& :) | 2006-09-20 23:41:29 |
| 433 | 2800 | Hey why not >:)its your own property. | 2006-09-23 03:29:19 |
| 433 | 2801 | Hey they're cool fantasies. I've been fortunate enough to 'live' them. Sex in the back yard, on a riverbank, in the sea, skinny dipping in a condo' pool late at night. Fantasies can become reality, if you really want them too. I give myself the 'proviso' that they must be fair and not harm anyone | 2006-09-23 05:53:39 |
| 433 | 2803 | Have you ever got caught? | 2006-09-23 09:33:04 |
| 433 | 2808 | No. No public exposures! I don't know what I'd do if I was seen:shock:probably even though I suppose I tend to be an exhibitionist in private | 2006-09-23 19:46:50 |
| 433 | 2811 | well, I don't think it would be such a great idea for me to fulfill my outdoors fantasy just yet.& My yard doesn't have a fence, and I have a neighbor that spies all the time at my house.& Not to mention there are little kids on the other side of my house. | 2006-09-24 11:09:48 |
| 433 | 2851 | I have done it outside with my wife on the wooden bench in our backyard.& There are fences but it was most enjoyable and spontaneous.& The hardness of the bench did not worry me as I was enjoying myself so much. Do I have any other fantasies?....mmm... I guess for me to be able to do it doggie style with my wife would be a turn on.& She is totally against it which is disappointing for me.& But I have to be grateful for small mercies as she is recovering from Vagismus and the fact that we have IC is wonderful in itself. As my wife can only have IC around once a week and I find I need to express my sexuality more often I turn to self pleasuring.& Sometimes my fantasy will be that I am with a younger woman who is rather nubile or other times its thinking about my wifes butt and how I would like penetrate from the rear. Other fantasies that I have involve being with a very hairy woman...its never happened and probably never will.& Also being with a totally shaven women (xxx) which has happened.& I found it wonderful. I dont think my ego could stand another man ie a threesome not that my wife would be into that.& & I might though be interested in a three some with another woman but that seems unlikely.& & I would like to see two women turning each other on... | 2006-09-27 04:46:03 |
| 433 | 3034 | What guy hasn't thought about seeing goga.....girl on girl action:D | 2006-10-20 15:23:41 |
| 433 | 3441 | [user=661]DracoXXX89[/user] wrote: "My fantasy is me and two girls havin sex...lol classic guy fantasy" Yea... My husband's dream. | 2006-12-22 19:03:31 |
| 433 | 3442 | mine is me and my gf in a romantic red room, a heart shaped bed with pink and black rose petals@};- spread across the bed with a song playing and sum fuzzy handcuffs and a little whip for a bit of& extra fun& >:)...hehehe | 2006-12-22 22:37:37 |
| 433 | 3443 | 2006-12-22 22:37:38 | |
| 433 | 3940 | I've been lucky enough to fulfill quite a few of my fantasies, and in doing so also helping to fulfill others fantasies as well. I guess somethings are sort of a trade off...lol. I've had a few 3somes (both mmf and ffm), sex outdoors, even a 3some out doors in a large park at 2 pm...lol. (I have no idea how we managed not to get caught), been in one senario of more men then women (6 guys, 2 girls), and my best friends step mother when I was in high school. I will admit that in some of the mmf 3somes there was some m/m oral activities, I guess we looked at it this way; if a guy can want to see 2 women together why shouldn't a woman want to see 2 guys together? | 2007-03-26 11:36:37 |
| 433 | 3983 | I tend to dream a lot of cuddling and hugging and kissing on the face, neck, back, just about anywhere :P | 2007-04-06 22:54:23 |
| 433 | 4045 | my& boyfriend and i have only just started furthering our creative side to sexuality and it happened completely by accident. we had just woken up in the morning and i was kissing his neck (a usual wake up call) and with my palm against his chest could feel his heart rate begin to accelerate. Just out of silliness I mentioned that something here didn't feel quite right and maybe he should get this checked out... and it took about two seconds for us to fall into mutual doctor/patient roles. it's funny because in thinking back on it, i can see how this specific role play features naturally and almost accidentally in most everyones lives when we are children and I can't help but come to the conclusion that this is for good reason! I have never been so turned on in my life as when he took on the position of a physician. We enjoyed it so much that now we have taken to discussing many new ways we would like to develop during IC.& Last time he blindfolded me and removed each article of clothing piece by piece, and then began to describe everything he was going to do to me as he roamed my body with his hands and mouth. listening to him describe something and then actually feel it did me in. Having all that anticipation for something was almost enough on its own. I didn't think things could get much better than they already were, but we have proved that wrong! | 2007-04-11 20:38:36 |
| 433 | 4057 | Sounds like lots of fun :D | 2007-04-11 21:43:59 |
| 433 | 4225 | my fantasties are about more mature woman, who have never had satisfactory sex from their husband and never experienced an orgasm& who want me to remedy that | 2007-05-31 09:20:32 |
| 434 | 2691 | does any one sleept& & with penis inside vigina the whole night ya ya ya i am the person & me and my gf tried it she is on my top all night& & and inserted my penis inside her vigina whole night& & this is true love& & i love her very muchh it is an enjoying& & thing try to do it whats ur& & latest on created position | 2006-09-17 11:00:00 |
| 434 | 2697 | Hmm, not sure if I could pull that off because I'm a natural fidget and move around a lot when I sleep. It wouldn't take long for the penis to slip out. | 2006-09-17 14:23:34 |
| 434 | 2723 | I am to with my luck we would both end up on the floor | 2006-09-17 21:26:19 |
| 434 | 2724 | I don't have to have my boyfriend in me through the night while we're sleeping to prove that our love is true. | 2006-09-17 21:41:17 |
| 434 | 2792 | WOW! Excellent question. We do it with my wife. It's not very easy to find a true position, but we do it. That's wonderful! The problem is that when you try to sleep your penis gets flaccid and "runs away". It's possible only when you have rather long tool. A year ago a thought about enlargement has crossed my mind (because of small willy, 4 inches). I have done it (Extagen and different exercises) and as one of the result with this new long thing was an opportunity to sleep inside my lady. I always tried to do it but it was impossible, he ran away. Now it's fantastic! Try it if you haven't done it yet. My wife loves to sleep with me inside of her too. It is so touching. | 2006-09-22 04:58:52 |
| 434 | 2806 | My boyfriend and I would like to try it but I think I move around to much for him to stay inside me all night, but maybe for a nap?& hehe Kit | 2006-09-23 11:00:45 |
| 435 | 2693 | I recently found a very yummy guy on the personal ads I've been& searching but, unfortunately, I got to him too late. He's already seeing someone else. Oh well, there are many more fish in the sea. I'm honestly not looking for a casual sex partner. I really am in search of a good relationship with a guy I could be crazy about who feels the same way about me. But my sex drive seems to be a little heightened right now and& I'm a little worried about how that might interfere with meeting someone and relating to him in the first dates/weeks. Any other women here started a relationship right in the middle of a "hot and horny" phase in her life? As much as I fantasize about jumping into bed with someone and getting oral, that's not really what I want to do . . . not immediately anyway. | 2006-09-17 11:44:52 |
| 435 | 2700 | Hi, You might try masturbating your brains out before the date. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] Of course on seeing his soft lips across the table may cause you to get wet all over again. :D Brad | 2006-09-17 14:40:50 |
| 435 | 2707 | I was when my boyfriend and I started dating.& :)& I was one sexual frustrated little bugger.& We didn't rush into things.& You may want to jump him and pull him into bed.& But most likely your super ego of your psychological part of your brain will tell you not to have sex right away. | 2006-09-17 19:00:27 |
| 435 | 2710 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "I was when my boyfriend and I started dating.& :)& I was one sexual frustrated little bugger.& We didn't rush into things.& You may want to jump him and pull him into bed.& But most likely your super ego of your psychological part of your brain will tell you not to have sex right away. " That's good to know, Ladybug. I'm beginning to wonder if my alter-ego is gaining ground, though. I found another yummy guy on the personals this afternoon and sent him a "come fuck me" email. Well, it wasn't that bad. Does anyone know where I can get a Catholic school girl uniform with a short plaid skirt? >:) I promise I'll try to be a good girl if I do meet him. | 2006-09-17 19:31:03 |
| 435 | 2711 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, You might try masturbating your brains out before the date. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] Of course on seeing his soft lips across the table may cause you to get wet all over again. :D Brad " Ooo, Brad, you really are wicked! | 2006-09-17 19:34:35 |
| 435 | 2715 | [user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user] wrote: "[user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "I was when my boyfriend and I started dating.& :)& I was one sexual frustrated little bugger.& We didn't rush into things.& You may want to jump him and pull him into bed.& But most likely your super ego of your psychological part of your brain will tell you not to have sex right away. " That's good to know, Ladybug. I'm beginning to wonder if my alter-ego is gaining ground, though. I found another yummy guy on the personals this afternoon and sent him a "come fuck me" email. Well, it wasn't that bad. Does anyone know where I can get a Catholic school girl uniform with a short plaid skirt? [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] I promise I'll try to be a good girl if I do meet him. "hahahaha... Have you tried a Halloween Costume shop? They probably have one there... | 2006-09-17 20:48:50 |
| 435 | 2720 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "hahahaha... Have you tried a Halloween Costume shop? They probably have one there... " Good idea. Hope I get the chance to be naughty soon. | 2006-09-17 21:05:53 |
| 435 | 2726 | & It's been almost a month since I've been naughty and it's really killin' me. | 2006-09-17 21:42:55 |
| 435 | 2754 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "& It's been almost a month since I've been naughty and it's really killin' me. " May we both be gettin' naughty and lovin' it soon! ;) | 2006-09-18 20:43:15 |
| 436 | 2729 | hy girls& i hav a question 4 u whats ur favorite part in male anatomy ,you can name any part not necessary a genital for example& my gf likes my chest nipples very much& apart from my 6 inch penis these ar hers favorite parts although there is a list of name but the most favorite is .............. & whats urs???????? | 2006-09-17 23:48:42 |
| 436 | 2769 | hy& reply dear people& & where ar u dont u have any favorite part & & tonight i asked again from my gf she replied i like ur nude sholders & & ask ur loved ones and reply& & be quick | 2006-09-19 22:51:11 |
| 436 | 2847 | ok, ok, here i am! My favourite male body part are the hands, no question about that! I like them big and strong and at the same time sensitive and skilful. If a man has beautiful hands,& i could stare at them for hours, very erotic! Doolittle | 2006-09-26 13:45:56 |
| 436 | 2941 | i like a guys ass | 2006-10-05 21:43:28 |
| 436 | 2997 | I love a man's ASS.& :D I think the butt is a genious creation.& Touching it turns me on big time. Next would be a man's balls (but maybe I like them so much bec my boyfriend's balls are usually offlimits - apparently too sensitive& :X but I still try to touch them:) [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img]) .& Inner thighs.& Oh and broad shoulders without being too muscular. | 2006-10-14 12:44:23 |
| 436 | 2998 | strong arms and hands :) Princess | 2006-10-14 17:57:54 |
| 437 | 2730 | who has more desire for sex penis& or & vigina & & what do u think & i think penis get arouse earlier and ends up earlier but vigina has greater sex desire& it starts a bit late but has endless sex drive | 2006-09-17 23:51:45 |
| 437 | 2805 | I think its us males | 2006-09-23 09:38:38 |
| 437 | 2809 | do u have any reason for that& & ................................?????????????????? | 2006-09-23 23:23:38 |
| 437 | 2812 | I really don't understand your questions.& | 2006-09-24 11:10:40 |
| 437 | 2813 | Because women don't think about sex as often as we do as far as& I know | 2006-09-24 11:45:12 |
| 437 | 2814 | You can't just assume the statistics are right.& I know you said as far as you know.& But it's given that some women to think of sex just as much as men do, but they wouldn't admit to it since it's more frowned upon. | 2006-09-24 15:36:36 |
| 437 | 2817 | Oh but some do :p | 2006-09-24 15:43:47 |
| 437 | 2819 | I for one.& That's why I mentioned that some do... Usually if I'm having casual talk about sex with people they always say how girls don't masturbate, watch porn, and have sex on their minds.& I tell them that they are crazy, because many girls do, they just are ashamed and won't admit to it. | 2006-09-24 15:48:57 |
| 437 | 2821 | Yes, society views girls and women as being asexual almost. It's only the guys who are allowed to have sexual desire and for it to be acceptable. Most girls/women think about sex quite often and masturbate but, like Ladybug says, most are too embarrassed to admit this and it's not talked about as much among women as it is among blokes anyhow. | 2006-09-24 17:05:37 |
| 437 | 2822 | that why i said as far as i know because wo,men wont admit it or be open about it like us guys do | 2006-09-24 18:06:41 |
| 438 | 2823 | How do I go about askin my girlfriend about sex..and what she likes:-/ | 2006-09-24 18:10:24 |
| 438 | 2825 | straight up ask her.& don't pussyfoot around the issue.& there's no reason why she should take offense about it; you're lovers for christs sake. | 2006-09-24 19:57:52 |
| 438 | 2828 | Just talk to her.& Ask her... I forget how my boyfriend and I started talking about it.& I think I just came out and talked to him about it because it is very important to be out in the open about it.& Without communication it can cause problems, and that is something you want to avoid! | 2006-09-24 21:38:33 |
| 438 | 2830 | Hi, If she is hesitant or unable to express her wants and needs then perhaps you can ask her to visit my website and then have her pick out information she feels applies to her, and that she feels you should read and know. My new website is likely easier to mention to women than the original one. www.thesexualgoddess.com Some day I need to address the subject of communication on the website, and I have thought about it, but need to research the subject first, in my spare time. :shock: Brad | 2006-09-24 22:45:19 |
| 438 | 2832 | " Some day I need to address the subject of communication on the website, and I have thought about it, but need to research the subject first, in my spare time. :shock: Brad "Maybe we can help you out a little? | 2006-09-25 00:41:15 |
| 438 | 2839 | I don't realy know how to ask a girl about that knda stuff she is only my second girlfriend, as my name implies im sex and stuff, i mean ive heard about how it goes but i dont realy know how to go about it,ive never even had sex b4 | 2006-09-25 21:20:46 |
| 438 | 2840 | Well... maybe just bring it up casually... | 2006-09-25 21:33:57 |
| 438 | 2841 | :-/I don't understand what you mean:-/ | 2006-09-25 22:03:47 |
| 438 | 2843 | I'm trying to think about how my conversations have come up.... I just talked about it.& I let it come out.& I think I asked him questions.& Telling him that I was curious. | 2006-09-25 22:50:44 |
| 438 | 2871 | Hi, Thanks for the offer to help. If people are wanting to contribute their advise that would be appreciated. It may be some time before I can write an article myself, but creating a page featuring advise from others is easy enough. Brad | 2006-09-28 19:43:59 |
| 438 | 2883 | The easiest way, for me, to work up to talking about sex in a relationship is really simple.& Ask her about her thoughts on sex in relationships.& Find out how she feels about it on a general level and work your way up to the really personal sexual things.& Depending on the girl you could be able to work up to it in one conversation or it might take a while. | 2006-09-29 14:09:54 |
| 438 | 2935 | [user=852]JohnDoeFTW[/user] wrote: "The easiest way, for me, to work up to talking about sex in a relationship is really simple.& Ask her about her thoughts on sex in relationships.& Find out how she feels about it on a general level and work your way up to the really personal sexual things.& Depending on the girl you could be able to work up to it in one conversation or it might take a while. " Hmmm. I'm not sure about that approach. It might be a good way, but I think it really depends on how close the two of you are. She might sense immediately that you're after sex and feel threatened. Actually, it's impossible to know how any one individual will react. Assuming you're at the point where you're doing some kissing (and don't start bringing up sex if you're not at that point yet), you could ask her how she feels about doing a bit more than that, perhaps during a necking session. Don't just start groping. Maybe ask her how she would feel about touching each other more intimately or something like that. You probably know her better than we do -- at least I would hope you do! You could also ask her if she has any fantasies about you.& Probably not good to& start by telling her the ones you have about her. If she's not ready, that could also be threatening. If she has been thinking about you sexually and is willing to share that information with you, it could be good a way to start something a more intimate than kissing. Again, it all depends on how close you are to each other and how comfortable she is with sharing personal information with you. I once had a guy ask for details on my sexual fantasies on our first date! I wanted to run like hell! Wish that I had done so. In a nutshell, take it slowly and let her decide what she's ready or not ready for. & | 2006-10-05 13:43:51 |
| 438 | 2948 | wat exactly is necking? & | 2006-10-07 00:11:57 |
| 438 | 2957 | [user=839]NaiveMale[/user] wrote: "wat exactly is necking? & " You know those serious, sometimes long& sessions of kissing where you're tongues get involved and possibly with some grinding if you're lying on the sofa, maybe even some petting but your clothes are still on? That's necking. Is English not your first language? & | 2006-10-07 16:11:15 |
| 438 | 2958 | Perhaps not an official definition, but as found on [url=www.sex-lexis.com] www.sex-lexis.com& : necking: 1. The [url=www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/act] act or activity of [url=www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/kiss] kissing, embracing and [url=www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/caress] caressing amorously. QUOTE: Groucho Marx: ' Whoever called [url=www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/it] it [url=www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/neck] necking was a poor judge of anatomy .' & In other words, more than a goodnight kiss. | 2006-10-07 20:01:05 |
| 438 | 2959 | so basicly its french kissing, carresing and dry humping! | 2006-10-07 21:13:46 |
| 438 | 2960 | [user=661]DracoXXX89[/user] wrote: "so basicly its french kissing, carresing and dry humping!"hehe pretty much :P | 2006-10-07 23:06:39 |
| 438 | 2961 | and stradling is basicly her on top humpin you wit clothes on!? | 2006-10-08 01:54:18 |
| 438 | 2968 | It can be. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img]& Sometimes it can be the guy on top grinding.& Whichever suits you two. ;) | 2006-10-09 09:50:09 |
| 438 | 2971 | yeah, get creative!;) | 2006-10-09 16:49:12 |
| 438 | 2974 | Just to get back to the original question, I think it might be good to mention here that almost all women LOVE a good kisser. I don't mean to over-generalize, but I don't think I'm going out on a limb when I say that it's almost universal. Most women love a really firm embrace and passionate kissing whether there's any humping going on or not. You can start by asking her what kind of kissing she likes best and have fun with that. Have a whole session of teaching each other how you like to kiss and be kissed. Then you can ask her what else she might like. Where would she like& you to touch her and how? Would she like touch you and where? You can make all of this really fun for both of you. Take your time and have fun. You might have to get yourself off after one of these "learning sessions" since it can get you very aroused, but what's wrong with that? She might have to do the same. As someone else said on the main web site, Happy Loving! :dude:& | 2006-10-09 17:34:40 |
| 438 | 3033 | thanks guy and gals your a big help ;) | 2006-10-20 14:51:07 |
| 438 | 3048 | what is grinding:-/ | 2006-10-21 23:03:11 |
| 438 | 3049 | [user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user]& wrote: You know those serious, sometimes long& sessions of kissing where you're tongues get involved and possibly with some grinding if you're lying on the sofa, maybe even some petting but your clothes are still on? That's necking. Is English not your first language? actualy it is but she my 1st gf so im not exactly what you would say educated in that area yet | 2006-10-21 23:06:35 |
| 438 | 3056 | [user=839]NaiveMale[/user] wrote: "[user=766]NoMoreGuilt[/user]& wrote: You know those serious, sometimes long& sessions of kissing where you're tongues get involved and possibly with some grinding if you're lying on the sofa, maybe even some petting but your clothes are still on? That's necking. Is English not your first language? actualy it is but she my 1st gf so im not exactly what you would say educated in that area yet " I had thought all young people were familiar with the term necking. I was a teenager in the late seventies and early eighties, so maybe there& is a different word used now. If you're in the midst of your first relationship, PLEASE don't rush into sex. Enjoy all the things two people can do with their clothes on first and ask her what she's comfortable doing. | 2006-10-22 17:03:51 |
| 438 | 3060 | I'm 20, and I know what necking is... always have.& My mom would always use that term. | 2006-10-22 22:48:03 |
| 438 | 3068 | I thought that maybe I was out of the loop, that people were using a different word now!d Long live necking! | 2006-10-24 20:47:32 |
| 438 | 3190 | no your not i am...lol & | 2006-11-16 17:50:24 |
| 438 | 3192 | You aren't out of the loop anymore! | 2006-11-16 20:57:13 |
| 438 | 3207 | and i hav you guys to than so thank you..lol & | 2006-11-19 22:00:31 |
| 441 | 2856 | I'm in a rather odd situation with my girlfriend.& This will be a long post, so please bear with me.& I'm gonna try to keep it as short as I can while still posting enough relevant information for you all to make sense of it as well as arrange it in a way that it makes the most sense, although I will still prolly ramble a bit and whatnot. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5-6 months although we have known each other for over a year.& We met through a mutual friend via the internet.& The relationship is semi-long distance.& Her apartment (a somewhat recent developement) is 2 and a half hours away while her house is about 3 and a half.& So it's not close enough to drop by all the time, but it's not like we don't get to see each other often (it's getting to where i see her every weekend). Both of us came from uptight religious families (her family wasn't nearly as uptight about it as mine was; however her mom is extremely anti-sex and she is even kinda sexist in a way O_o.& We are both quite shy in person and we are quite behind when it comes to dating and relationships in general.& We are 21 and both still virgins, and we haven't done much sexually with anybody other than ourselves.& I myself have only been in 2 real relationships prior, and they are laughable in comparison to my relationship with my current girlfriend.& My girlfriend has only been in one previous relationship, and it was kinda messed up too.& The guy seemingly just wanted sex and played on her X-box.& She didn't do anything sexual with him though, the guy seemingly got frustrated due to her complete obliviousness towards his intentions and basically dropped off the face of the earth. This is the most odd part, my girlfriend suffers from a mild case of Aspergur's Syndrome.& Go here if you want to read up on it: [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspergers_syndrome]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspergers_syndrome For those of you who don't want to read the entire article I will break down briefly what this means: It's hard for her to read body language.& She herself is capable of normal body language, but unlike most girls her age she can't read it nearly as well.& It's not as intuitive. She is incredibly shy towards new people, and often will believe other people think she is crazy or weird whenever she attempts to talk to them.& (I know how this is too cause I am shy, but not as bad as she is) She often takes things out of context, in our case this happens a lot. She will often get really emotional over something insignificant, something that she would blow incredibly out of proportion.& When she realizes that she got upset over nothing she then gets upset over the fact that she feels horrible for getting upset over it.& It's not a fun cycle of events. Asperger's isn't all bad though, it is also the reason why she is such an incredible artist.& I would show one of her portraits but I want to keep her completely anonymous.& I'll just say this, she is better at photorealistic portraits using graphite (pencils) than any of my current art professors, and she has been offered a teaching position from a college in the past and she was only 19 at the time.& She recently was commisioned a portrait for $5,000. Here is some more bad things though.& Coupled with the fact that she has Asperger's she has an incredibly bad self-esteem.& She was constantly picked on in high school.& Plus she herself doesn't realize that guys have been interested her in the past cause she is completely oblivious towards that sort of thing, and her only previous boyfriend was basically just trying to use her from what I could gather.& She feels incredibly ugly, unattractive, and cause of that she has a hard time understanding and trusting me when I say that she is very beautfiul. The thing is though, that she is really attractive!& Again, I would show a picture but I want to keep her anonymous.& She is thin, around 5' 5", blonde hair, has nice curves, a beautiful face, etc. etc.& She has small breasts (34A) but I myself don't find that unattractive (I really don't see the big deal with guys and breasts, I mean it's not imperative to me personally to have large breasts).& She is really upset and self-concious over her breasts :-(.& All in all, she looks great and she is quite blessed.& She herself doesn't feel that way though.& She thinks that she is unattractive, weird, messed up, etc. She also feels unsexual.& She rarely has sexual urges (or thinks that it's rare).& She has gotten horny around me; however it's not guaranteed to happen by any means.& She does have intense urges during a week or so (i forget if it is before or after her period, i'm still a n00b when it comes to that kind of stuff).& Overall she feels as if she couldn't satisfy me sexually. In fact the contrary is true.& Another thing she hates about herself is that she has a large clitoris, and she is ashamed of the way it looks.& I'll talk about that more later, but the thing is she doesn't realize it's a blessing.& When she masterbates she can reach orgasm quickly and easily with her hands.& She even told me that sometimes she will masterbate with no urge at all JUST to help her go to sleep.& She claims that she doesn't really think of anything when she masterbates, no fantasies or anything, it's just going through the motions.& One of her reasons for the lacking of fantasies is cause she doesn't know what to expect or what sex is like seeing as how she is a virgin and she doesn't watch pornography.& I actually sent her a video with her consent that showed as well as one can with porno, a loving and more normal act of sex, but even still she doesn't know what to thin or do in sexual situations and it's all so alien to her.& Her breasts are ALSO very sensitive, and she said if I massaged her breasts she could prolly attain an orgasm off of just that alone. So if I take what she says with face value this is what I get: While it's not often she does get sexual urges (a few times a week) She can easily reach orgasm with virtually no aid other than her hands. She could *prolly* attain an orgasm off of purely breast stimulation. She has incredibly intense sexual urges ALL the time for a week every month or so She is capable of getting horny through sensation, in which case if she was in a good mood and I was horny she would definitely be all for sex (well, when our relationship gets to that level it would). Now, back to how she feels about her stuff.& She literally used to hate her vagina entirely.& She was upset with it and thought it looked horrible.& She is really really self-conscious about it.& She felt that I would be repulsed or taken aback by it. I knew personally from how she overreacts that it can't be as bad as she says, and in fact I would prolly love it.& There is no way in hell that she would show me how it looked in person, cause she is so ashamed about it and so worried over it and just anything that sexual would be such a huge leap to her, so I did the only thing that I could think of that could help her feel better about it.& I found a site this website that shows various types of vaginas in a non pornographic way.& The site is actually here: [url=www.erogenousdot.com/%C2%A0] www.erogenousdot.com/& We found a picture that matched her's almost to a tee.& It wasn't bad at all, in fact I really liked it.& There is absolutely nothing wrong with it and it's sexy.& It's still not what she wants though, and she still feels bad about it. OK, now with ALL that said I can finally get to why I'm posting this.& My girlfriend and I talk about sex and sexual things often.& We both are responsible about sex, and would take necessary precations.& We both want sex a good bit, but she feels slightly ashamed about it.& She feels ugly, and that really detracts her from doing much of anything sexual.& I have talked to her about how beautiful and wonderful she is, and I think it's starting to work.& She doesn't think she is as unattractive as she used to& I've even got her questioning her previous thoughts that she is unsexual and that her vagina is a completely horrid beast.& It's small steps in the right direction, but it's still a mammoth task to undo years of people picking on her as well as anti-sex anything enforced on her by her mom. What could I do that I haven't already done that could boost her self-esteem?& In what ways could I make her feel more sexual?& In what ways can I make her feel comfortable with sex and sexual things?& I feel we are both missing out, but are held back by stupid fears and retarded notions of right and wrong that we have been force fed since children :-(. | 2006-09-27 14:00:36 |
| 441 | 2857 | Hello I can relate a lot to your GF because I have low self-esteem, feel unnattractive, got picked on a lot at school and...I'm also an artist working in a realistic style. I do animal portraits and such and you can see my website by looking in my profile. I'm also good at music. I made my own tunes up with ease from the age of 10 when I got my very first keyboard. I tend to find that the best artists are often messed up people, lol. The beauty in paintings and in music tends to come most from the sadness, anger, depressed part of our mind. Happiness just doesn't manifest itself in the same way. Obviously, such negative feelings can also manifest themselves in less beautiful ways in the form of such things as self harm, anorexia/bulemia and a range of other things. I suffer from obsessive skin picking which is related to OCD. I also suffer from Vaginismus where the vaginal muscles& clamp up automatically whenever any penetration is attempted and I have to dilate with vaginal trainers to train the muscles to not clamp up. Speaking of which, I need to get back to that because I've slacked for months.:? I have had psychotherapy already but I'll be getting more to help me with my range of issues but being as NHS waiting lists are so damned long. I have no idea when I'll finally get my first appointment at the new place. Also, a word of advice. Brad will comment on this if he sees it so I'll let you know first. When you are referring to the external genitelia of a woman, it is called the vulva. The vagina is on the inside and cannot be seen externally. Everything that can been seen externally is part of the vulva and Brad likes it to be referred to as such.:) Many girls, even those not brought up religiously, develop an aversion to their own genitals. I developed one too and our family isn't religious. All it takes is for you to be told off for fumbling with your bits or scratching wheh you get an itch there& when you are a kid and told it is dirty and all the rest. Most girls experience this unfortunately. There are also the less obvious messages such as always covering the area up and keeping it hidden from view instilling the idea of shame associated with it. No wonder the area looks ugly to view when we get older after years of such conditioning.:( I started to get over this by making myself look at my genitals more often, being able to recognize all the parts and inserting fingers into my vagina when in the shower and such. The aversion is disappearing and I have much less of an issue touching my vulva and looking at it than I used to. Sleeping nude helps too, gets you more in touch with your birthday suit, haha, instead of always being covered in clothes. I suppose it is a case of first realising that such things aren't actually wrong at all by reading them in places like this or finding out from other people and then gradually introducing yourself to the concept slowly, desensitizing yourself and getting yourself used to the idea until you are comfortable with it. As I have so many issues myself, I can't come up with a miracle cure for yours or your GFs issues but I know I shall carry on learning much as I go along with the therapy and my own personal research. Maybe some kind of therapy will help your GF too. Good luck.:) | 2006-09-27 19:02:39 |
| 441 | 2858 | Mostly what you can do is just be there for her. :)& Canis pretty much summed it all up and I don't really know what else to say. But what I do want to tell you is, you seem very mature and that she is very lucky to have a boyfriend that cares so much about her to do some research to help her understand that her vulva is just as normal as many other women out there.& | 2006-09-27 21:48:43 |
| 441 | 2861 | You really seem like a decent patient guy.& I really like how you were able to tell your GF that her Vulva seemed fine to you.& & When someone has something different going on for them like your GF (and my wife) what I have learned is that something makes them often feel less than.& & Indeed what she needs is as Canis has said is to feel that what she is going through is normal.& & She needs to get on the internet and read the things you are reading and get information.& & I think the more she is validated (it takes patience and a heap of it) for who she is and what is happening to her the more she will move toward you.& & | 2006-09-28 00:31:56 |
| 441 | 2864 | Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.& Also, my bad on the terminology, i'll use vulva from now on. This post is no longer relevent though.& We broke up just a while ago.& I actually got on to see if I could delete the post if nobody had responded.& It's amazing what a little bit of miscommunication coupled with a fight can do to a relationship.& It's one of those things that kinda came out of nowhere and hit me with a ton of bricks.& It's not a bad break up, and while I'm holding out hope that it can be patched up I'm not too naive to keep my hopes too high. Don't worry, the break up had nothing to do with sexual stuff like what I discussed.& If anything she still prolly feels better about herself sexually than she did before. I think I try too hard when it comes to women. | 2006-09-28 01:52:10 |
| 441 | 2873 | Always be pleased that you created a post. As you and we all learn from information discussed. You are a very keen to have your g/f resp0nd to everything you would like to talk about. Maybe you need to give her some 'space'. We all have personal space that we don't like others intruding on. Some people need more than others. When I first started talking with my g/f I seemed to do all the talking and she hid information from me. I learned that I needed to ask questions, shut up and wait for an answer, sometimes took many minutes. People need to feel comfortable and have total trust before they are comfortable with 'sharing' with us. Many women like to keep their body secret to themselves, perhaps very low self esteem or shyness. I know my g/f didn't like me to see her breasts, she felt they were too large. Even after she had them modified to an acceptable size to her she still didn't feel comfortable showing me. I guess I'm the opposite, not quite an exhibitionist, not frightened to show my body. Your g/f believes her vulva is abnormal, then in her mind it is and you can only reassure her, as you say you are, that she is very normal. Ask meaningful questions when she says she has an 'ugly' vulva perhaps ask where she found out that her vulva is ugly, big and distorted. You are obviously showing pictures for comparison and that is good. She probably has never got that support form her family. To build her self confidence you must allow her to believe she is right. This latest upset you are talking about is perhaps caused by you disagreeing with her to harshly. If you disagree with what she is saying you could say “You are entitled to your opinion, my opinion is I do not agree with what you say" and leave without harsh words. Always believe things will improve and they will turn out OK. | 2006-09-28 23:18:34 |
| 441 | 2874 | I actually have a lot of good news to report on the situation in general.& I talked to her a lot today, and we patched a good bit of things up.& Things were going good in general with the conversation, but I could have never have predicted the outcome of our last talk tonight.& She pulled out a book, a book I was highly skeptical of and *assumed* would cause more problems than good.& It was the book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.& She read a lot of excerpts from the book about things she felt had a lot in common with the things we were going through.& She also read a list of things girls shouldn't say or do to guys, and things guys shouldn't say or do to girls.& I was simply amazed that EVERYTHING was so spot on.& The only problems we truely had in the relationship was the simple fact that I'm a very stereotypical guy, and that she was a very stereotypical girl when it came to relationships and how we feel.& It was a huge relief for the both of us and we ended up feeling A LOT better about each other.& It's not that either of us intended to offend or upset the other, it's just that we didn't know about this stuff.& In my point of view she did seem to cause more problems, while from her point of view I caused most of the problems.& They weren't so much problems but cases of extreme miscommunication, all of which are extremely common.& Her AS symptoms didn't seem to have much to do with it, and only confused the situation and caused herself to blame her condition and feel bad :-(. Even still, it's a lil fragile right now.& We are going to try to cool off a bit and not take the relationship so seriously, cause of that it will prolly be a while untill we will get back to discussing sexual things and the like.& Her mom also hates the hell out of me right now, and that is never good.& Keep posting suggestions and ways that would make her feel more comfortable, I'm still definitely reading them and I am glad for all the help I can get from you guys.& Even if it's a while off before we pick up the ball on sex issues it doesn't hurt to have a lot of time to think about it and have a lot of sources to pull ideas from. | 2006-09-29 01:57:21 |
| 441 | 2875 | That is good news. Men are from mars woman are from venus I think is a very good book. Even if you are skeptical maybe try and read some of it, 5 to 10 pages a day is great and you might pick up some differant info. Her Mom can cause friction, although she doesn't recognise it. She probably hates you for upsetting her daughter. | 2006-09-29 02:29:17 |
| 441 | 2877 | Oh, I am in no way skeptical about it at all.& I was only afraid before that it was a book of mass generalizations on men and women, not all being true and if believed were to be true in EVERY case would cause even more misunderstanding and more trouble; however, from the sample I got yesterday it seems almost as if the book was written for us.& Cause of that it seems to apply to my girlfriend and I quite well. I'm gonna pick up a copy of the book and highlight everything that I think is spot on.& That way if there are things that aren't true for me, then she will know about it.& She is going to do the same, and we are going to swap books.& It's kinda weird, but it's like having a "study guide" on each others mentality. | 2006-09-29 10:25:34 |
| 441 | 2879 | The book sounds good in a way... but... sometimes it might just compile problems.& You said in your previous post that there was miscommunication.& Which does happen in many many relationships.& Even in my own relationship, I know my boyfriend and I have miscommunicated in many ways.& But to better explain yourself it's better to talk it out together than to rely on something... | 2006-09-29 12:17:53 |
| 441 | 2881 | Well we are definitely going to talk about it, and how the things in the book apply to us.& The miscommunications and misunderstandings we had all branched from very common problems associated with the differences in how I think (typical male) and how she thinks (typical female).& The major problems we had is that neither of us thought that we were wrong.& From my point of view she was causing a vast majority of the problems and didn't try to understand my viewpoint or my feelings, and from her point of view I was causing most of the problems. Of course I don't think this book is the best and ONLY insight I have to understanding my girlfriend, but it's a good resource.& Nothing is going to beat good communication between us; however, this book has shown us how to communicate with each other way better than we have been.& I never wanted to hurt my girlfriend or offend her, and she never wanted to hurt or offend me.& By discovering with the aid of the book how each of us think and react to things we will be able to understand each other and it won't lead to needless fights and misunderstandings.& Not to say we will never fight anymore or anything like that :-P, but so far 90% of the problems we were having have stemmed from us not knowing jack shit about the opposite sex. | 2006-09-29 13:57:04 |
| 441 | 2912 | Well the dust has settled and everthing has fallen back into place, but from talking to her it seems the thing that worries her the most out of EVERYTHING is that she feels almost completely unsexual.& She feels as if the relationship is doomed in the long run because of she feels that she is holding me back and can't give me the pleasure that I need.& She worries that her lack of sex drive comes from Asperger's, although from my reading I don't see how AS affects sex drive at all.& More than likely it is stemming from her depression.& There is some good news in that area.& She is about to get on Wellbutrin.& One of the common "side effects" of wellbutrin is a large increase in sex drive.& Here is a post from a Wellbutrin page that illustrates this: Additionally, my sex-drive has gone from non-existent to through the roof. I have NEVER known what it's like to have a strong libido before, EVER! Now my wonderful husband is on cloud 9 and so am I. I really have a hard time putting it into words. I ever expected this as a "side effect." Now my husband refers to my daily pill as my "aphrodisiac." She is really excited about it, cause it's pretty much the first thing she told me when she mentioned that she was getting new medication.& Hopefully this will remedy all the problems she is feeling.& In the meantime, I'm going to try to get her to read up on the site.& She has read a lot of stuff here before, I forgot if she or a mutual friend of ours sent me the link.& | 2006-10-03 19:19:49 |
| 442 | 2869 | I found a series of videos dedicated to dispelling sexual myths on google video today.& The videos are hosted by June Machover Reinisch who was the director of the Kinsey Institute for several years (one of the most influential organizations in the study of human sexual behavior). I will list some of the especially pertinent topics below. Myth: Most women don't masturbate Myth: Masturbation is mentally and physically harmful Myth: Intercourse is the most enjoyable sexual activity Myth: Most men prefer women with large breasts and here is a link to all the videos | 2006-09-28 17:56:02 |
| 442 | 2876 | I only watched the first one so far but very helpful and very true. Some of us in here know how silly& and untrue these myths are but it is surprising the number of people out there who believe they are true. Highly religious people will purposely make out they are true in order to stop masturbation. Circumsizing penis's and clitoris's was brought& about initially& to stop or cut down on& masturbation because religion always regarded it as a sinful and dirty act that was nothing other than harmful. It's a shame that a lot more people do not get to view information such as this. | 2006-09-29 08:12:05 |
| 442 | 2878 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Circumsizing penis's and clitoris's was brought& about initially& to stop or cut down on& masturbation because religion always regarded it as a sinful and dirty act that was nothing other than harmful. " Circumcision has been practiced in cultures around the globe since pre-history and its origins aren't actually known.& The reasons for it today are quite varied as well. | 2006-09-29 12:09:49 |
| 442 | 2882 | Anyone in here heard of Penn and Teller's Bullshit?& They have an entire episode on circumcision that provides some insight on it. While circumcision of the penis and clitoris may indeed be worldwide, in the case of US culture it is very clear as to why circumcision of the penis has become standard, and it was in an effort to cut down on masterbation.& One of the major supporters of anti-masterbation was Kellogg, who promoted that his cereal "Corn Flakes" would actually cut down on masterbation. Crazy shit. | 2006-09-29 14:02:34 |
| 444 | 2900 | what is& vaginismus can any one have detail information about this | 2006-10-02 09:49:46 |
| 444 | 2905 | type it into google and you'll find tonnes of information on it. If you think your partner has it, there are some vaginismus support groups in yahoo that she can join and speak to other sufferers. There is also one for partners of women with vag. I'll get you the links if you require. Here is a link to a site about vaginismus: [url=www.vaginismus.com/] www.vaginismus.com/ | 2006-10-02 17:02:58 |
| 445 | 2902 | Erm... to start& off with, im a sexually active 20 yr old girl. I'm currently experiencing discomfort around my vagina& sometimes out of the blue that& I could not even sit down without feeling uneasy. I have been having this problem since May or probably earlier. Initially& I thought it might be some bladder problem but i had seen a urologist recently. He mentioned that somewhere within the finger's reach of my vagina is swollen. Im also put on antibiotics for a few times but it just does not go away. It's something like i have the strong urge to urine but& it's just a few drops coming out.& I also encountered burning sensation when i peed. If i managed to just& hold a little longer, my bladder will feel full and it will leak when i bend down or move around. Before i had this problem, i could hold myself for alot more longer. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with me? Am i having an infection or something? Thanks alot. | 2006-10-02 13:04:17 |
| 445 | 2903 | I'm not a doctor, but from what you describe, it sounds like a urinary tract infection.& I've gotten them before.& They really aren't that much fun. Drink lots of fluids including water and cranberry juice. | 2006-10-02 13:53:42 |
| 445 | 2904 | Yeah, burning during peeing is generally a sign on a urinary tract infection. I can't remember the last time I had one of those. I remember having a few mild bouts as a kid but it tended to just go away on it's own. When sexually active, a good idea is to pee before and after sex to help prevent these from occuring. Also, when you use the loo, either wipe from front to back..which feels very strange...or wipe your anus seperately to your vulva so that you aren't dragging feaces, and the& bacteria it contains,& across it from the anus which can also cause infections. I started wiping my anus seperately to the vulva if I peed and pood at the same time, haha. Wiping from front to back doesn't seem to work, is very awkward and feelings plain weird for me. | 2006-10-02 17:00:24 |
| 445 | 2907 | Hi, You could also have an infection in your prostate gland, as women have them too. This is something most people don't know about.& Please see the article linked to below. Look in the section titled "The Female Prostate" for links to additional information. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm Brad | 2006-10-02 19:57:12 |
| 445 | 2908 | Thanks! I think this should be it. The female prostate problem! Cos' previoulsy i went to see a Urologist and he said that there's nth wrong with my bladder, kidney or urine tract. so... it might be the prostate thingy. Hmm... how can i cure this problem? I really couldnt stand it anymore! I kept drinkin water and yet i kept going to the toilet!! Argh. | 2006-10-03 07:09:10 |
| 445 | 2909 | Hi, I would recommend reading up on prostatitis, as it affects men, and then discuss treatment options with the urologist. They might believe you are crazy :shock:, as most don't know the female prostate is fully functional too. You might have to educate them. You can learn more at the following website: www.prostatitis.org/ Here is a Google search: www.google.com/search?q=prostatitis Perhaps you are urinating frequently because you are drinking so much. The following linked to information may be of interest too: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_4/qa4_22.htm Brad | 2006-10-03 12:44:29 |
| 445 | 2910 | I dont know. The urologist suggested mi to consume 12-14 glasses of water everyday...& but if i dont drink alot of water, i will have burning sensation down there which urge me to go to the toilet& too, but with only a few drops of urine... and i couldnt even sit down without feeing uneasy... i couldnt even hold back my urine anymore... it will leak when i bend down... my urologist mentioned something about swollen within a finger's reach from the vagina's orifice. Forgot it's e uretus or uretha. argh. im on antibiotics but its not of much help... | 2006-10-03 13:01:31 |
| 445 | 2911 | Have you been checked for STDs?& I think these possibilities& should be eliminated.& & | 2006-10-03 15:25:56 |
| 445 | 2913 | I would also suggest that you might get a second medical opinion. | 2006-10-04 00:06:14 |
| 445 | 2930 | check and see if it is a Bartholin's gland cyst.... | 2006-10-04 20:55:29 |
| 445 | 2932 | wat is a bartholin's gland cyst? how do i check? with a gynae? | 2006-10-05 01:17:05 |
| 445 | 2933 | Hi, Please see the information linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_7/qa7_15.htm Brad | 2006-10-05 06:55:23 |
| 447 | 2915 | How to tell real squirting from peeing? | 2006-10-04 12:06:47 |
| 447 | 2924 | There is already a topic about this. Please refer to that topic Here is the link www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=334&forum_id=7 | 2006-10-04 13:22:26 |
| 447 | 6017 | thanks & | 2008-08-23 21:17:58 |
| 448 | 2916 | ladies,when masturbating,how long does it take for you to orgasm? | 2006-10-04 12:08:22 |
| 448 | 2917 | Especially the quickiest one. | 2006-10-04 12:09:01 |
| 448 | 2928 | I've done it in a few minutes but the best ones come from prolonged stimulation and holding off orgasm as long as possible. | 2006-10-04 16:05:57 |
| 448 | 2936 | just depends on how horny before starting:) | 2006-10-05 15:05:53 |
| 448 | 2937 | Lorali could not have said it any better. It all depends on how much you feel aroused.& I know that if I just feel like masturbating to put me to sleep, it takes me a little longer, but when& I am really in the mood, my clit is more sensitive which results in a quicker orgasm. | 2006-10-05 16:38:41 |
| 451 | 2922 | Sex toys can so perfectly satisfy a girl's need ,it's better than a dick for a girl.isn't it?I'm afraid maybe many years after, they will totally replace dicks in pleasing a girl.Girls go crazy with them,some of them can send a girl to orgasm in merely several seconds,incredibally! | 2006-10-04 12:26:06 |
| 451 | 2925 | Sex toys can be a woman's best friend.& But I prefer not to use mine all the time.& It's not really good to become dependent on it.& If you do, you're more likely not going to be able to orgasm from your lovers touch because you'll need the toy.& I actually started getting into that kind of situation and I had to lessen the usage of my toy. | 2006-10-04 13:23:54 |
| 451 | 2938 | about the toys .... its all fun to use them but it never replace the real thing :) | 2006-10-05 20:41:47 |
| 451 | 2944 | Better yet, a vibrator and the real thing.& I& love the feel of a vibrator on my clit as my husband is sliding his hard cock in and out of me. The orgasms are incredible!!!!!& | 2006-10-06 07:37:17 |
| 451 | 2950 | No no no no no!& I would take my man over toys anyday!& Toys are fun and I will use them but nothing can replace the real thing. Kit | 2006-10-07 00:26:23 |
| 451 | 2953 | Seegesse& Sounds like you have the right idea:) | 2006-10-07 02:53:26 |
| 451 | 2969 | Have any of you tried the vibrating condom? | 2006-10-09 09:51:58 |
| 451 | 2972 | Ooo that sounds like fun. I've not heard of them. | 2006-10-09 16:50:14 |
| 451 | 2975 | I tried it once.& The thing is $5.00, I believe.& You get one condom, and the ring should be used only once.& It was okay, but it could have been a little better. | 2006-10-09 21:09:02 |
| 451 | 2976 | Sounds like its worth a try. | 2006-10-10 00:45:31 |
| 451 | 2978 | Hi, They also sell vibrators that slip over a man's penis and will stimulate his partner too, more so if he is fully inserted and the vibrator is pressing against her vulva and clitoris. Not sure how well they work during thrusting. Short thrusting may be okay if they barely move. We sell some on our store. Brad | 2006-10-10 14:48:17 |
| 451 | 2979 | Yes! :) That's what I'm talking about.& It comes with one condom, the vibrating ring is a seperate thing.& It has a button on it that you turn on, and you can turn it off.& Supposedly it says it lasts only twenty minutes.& On the directions it says that the ring is to be used only once as well as the condom (which I hope everyone does know, already).& The reason why I didn't like it very much was that the vibration wasn't very strong, and like Brad mentioned, the thrusting part of sex, well, that doesn't allow the vibrating ring to stay on your clit to stimulate you.& It will be going on, going off... going on, going off, and so on.& Now, if the guy was stirring his penis inside you and grinding up against you, maybe then, the vibrating will do something. :? | 2006-10-10 20:25:07 |
| 451 | 2982 | That would be worth a try, to not have so much thrusting but more stimulating movement inside the vulva. I know that I can make my partner more aroused when I take my penis in 'hand' and move around inside her vulva. We both really enjoy glans to glans (clit to knob) I cannot apply to much pressure on her clit to make it uncomfortable for her and it gives me a wonderful feeling on my sensitive glans, which cannot be handled harshly by hand, similiar to the clitorus | 2006-10-11 01:51:49 |
| 451 | 2996 | i think most women are looking for a tad bit more than a dick and a big orgasm :) so I wouldn't worry about vibrators replacing anything.& Besides toys are not for women only.& Both can play. I love my Magic Wand.& Sometimes I bring it with me when we're having sex! | 2006-10-14 12:33:23 |
| 451 | 3026 | All I will say is that I love my man and my toys :) | 2006-10-19 16:53:49 |
| 451 | 3053 | Hi Donna, & I agree with& you. The best of both worlds!!!! | 2006-10-22 10:06:14 |
| 451 | 3155 | Has anyone on here tried the "Clone-A-Willy kit" on here?& I was doing some searching on it because I had seen in on the shelves in an adult store and the reviews were great so I thought I'd try it. | 2006-11-09 09:24:25 |
| 451 | 3157 | hehe yeah I've seen it online.& I think it would be fun.& Kit | 2006-11-09 13:16:27 |
| 451 | 3158 | I got it last night, and I'm trying to think of when I can make it with my love. I had to tell him about it becase we had both looked at it before... and he was really excited about it. It takes couple hours for the mold to set, and then 24 hours for the rubber to cure... | 2006-11-09 13:43:51 |
| 451 | 3159 | Thats cool.& I think at some point my guy and I will try it out. | 2006-11-09 13:50:12 |
| 451 | 3160 | :D Let me know how it turns out! I'll be sure to post the experience. | 2006-11-09 15:09:09 |
| 451 | 3229 | i hate being a minor. i dont have access to any toys. :( | 2006-11-23 13:02:09 |
| 451 | 3230 | [user=1018]amandaboo11[/user] wrote: "i hate being a minor. i dont have access to any toys. :( " I think your frustration is understandable, but if you're able to give yourself pleasure using only your hands, you've already learned something more valuable than doing so with a toy. If you haven't yet learned how to masturbate without a vibrator, I'd suggest trying. You& will probably& find it very rewarding both now and in the future when you have a partner. If you really want to get something that vibrates, I think someone here suggested a massager for such purpose--an electrical appliance you can buy at a drug store. I don't know how much noise they make or if that's something you feel you would need to hide from your parents, but it's a thought anyway. | 2006-11-24 09:51:47 |
| 451 | 3234 | thank you for the advice. :) i dont find fingering myself very usefull, as i dont get pleasure that way. but i thought that if i was able to find my g-spot with a toy then maybe it would start to feel good. oh well. ill just have to stick with massaging my clit. thx 4 the advice! | 2006-11-24 13:51:51 |
| 451 | 3237 | OH! I just remembered something. Several women here and on the regular website have mentioned using an electric toothbrush, which you should also be able to buy at a drug store. | 2006-11-24 14:11:09 |
| 451 | 3239 | i have tried the electric toothbrush and it works all right. i prefer the shower head though.& its my best friend. ;) | 2006-11-24 15:48:58 |
| 451 | 3240 | Is it not possible for you to get someone else to buy you a toy!!!!!& You could look it up on the internet and then give someone the picture....You are obviously ready to explore your sexuality and so someones age rules ought to not come& into the equation. :) | 2006-11-24 16:14:07 |
| 451 | 3244 | [user=851]jessee[/user] wrote: "Is it not possible for you to get someone else to buy you a toy!!!!!& You could look it up on the internet and then give someone the picture....You are obviously ready to explore your sexuality and so someones age rules ought to not come& into the equation. :) " that's rarely the case in real life, and in some places it could be considered a crime to buy a sex toy for a minor. | 2006-11-24 18:32:27 |
| 451 | 3256 | Hi, If you read through all the shared masturbation experiences on the main website you will find girls, teens, and women have learned to improvise when they could not acquire "sex toys." With a little imagination and a trip to your local children's toy& store you should find many suitable items. As long as it is smooth, doesn't have sharp edges, wont break, and doesn't have any chemical residues it is okay to insert into the vagina. Consider tampon applicators and how many of them are cruder and rougher than "dildos" but women routinely insert them into their vagina. For anal insertion object need to have some type of flared bases, as otherwise they can slip in and get trapped, resulting in an embarrassing trip to the hospital. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/mast_indx.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/mast_indx.htm Anyone can buy "muscle massagers" at your local store. I have seen novelty vibrators at my local mall in a gag gift store and I did not note and age restrictions and children and teens were in the store, and teens were working as clerks. [url=www.spencersonline.com/] www.spencersonline.com/ Brad | 2006-11-25 09:47:11 |
| 451 | 6032 | Toys are nice and all, but nothing replaces touch. | 2008-08-24 02:36:42 |
| 451 | 6040 | Judging from porns,I think Sybian is the most strong toy ,do you have any experience with it? | 2008-08-24 04:44:41 |
| 451 | 6047 | Haha because I have $1000+ laying around. | 2008-08-24 13:08:03 |
| 451 | 6056 | to dragon. porn is fun, but far from real | 2008-08-25 02:49:11 |
| 451 | 6058 | Oh ok.& ha don't know what I was thinking. :) | 2008-08-25 16:37:38 |
| 456 | 2962 | Everyone says the size don't matter ... but Ladies everything apart how BIG it should be to feel like "COMPLETELY FILLED" out there.... :) & | 2006-10-08 06:48:12 |
| 456 | 2963 | I think it also depends on how tight you are.& | 2006-10-08 14:23:27 |
| 456 | 2967 | ditto... tightness and size are what equal each other... If you're a loosey goosey, then a bigger penis will fill you fine.& If you're super tight a skinnier penis will do you fine.& Everyone's body is like a puzzle piece.& I feel that my boyfriend and I are a perfect puzzle.& | 2006-10-09 09:47:33 |
| 456 | 2970 | I feel the same way about my guy Ladybug | 2006-10-09 16:46:51 |
| 456 | 2983 | A question on a similar topic (to avoid making a new thread on it), my girlfriend is a virgin (so am I, just to get that out) but one thing that worries her is her hymen.& Aparently it's so tight down there that anything larger than one finger would cause a lot of pain.& The only thing I could think of to fix that problem would be to stretch it over time inserting things slightly larger each time, but she says anything larger than her finger still hurts a good bit.& This is one of the things she is afraid of when it comes to sex, cause she is dreading it to hurt her when penetrating (it should also be said that I don't want to jump head first into penetration with her, but oddly enough she wants that *shrug*). So the question, is there anything she can do to limit the pain? | 2006-10-11 13:02:13 |
| 456 | 2984 | you gotta size it up.& If she is comfortable with just you having one finger in, it wouldn't really feel too pleasant for her to have your penis in her right after that.& It could hurt her. it's like dialators ( I think I spelt that wrong) that women with vag use... | 2006-10-11 15:37:37 |
| 456 | 2985 | Dilators, lol. I see it spelt like that a lot. I think it's because of the way people pronounce it. Anyway, back to subject. Advise your girlfriend to gradually work up in size. Be sure she is comfortable with a finger then try something slightly larger. It will be well worth it and it does gradually stretch and wear away the hymen too so no dramatic breakage in the end when you try actual intercourse. Make sure she doesn't endure pain in an attempt to rush herself. This will teach the muscles to clamp up due to pending pain and she doesn't want to end up with that...vaginismus. She might have it mildy anyway but if she can get a finger in, she's already part way there. A set of dilators/vaginal trainers will help her to achieve this but some of the vag women use tapered candles with condoms on or certain vegetables with condoms on etc... When she inserts a finger or if you do it, instead of just pushing it in and out, push it sidewards against the wall of the vagina in all direction. Say the entrance is like a clock and push the finger or whatever else is used against 12, 3, 6 and 9 oclock whilst it is inserted and hold it like that for a short while. It helps train the muscles to be stretched a little but it's easier than inserting a larger object because it means only one side is being worked at one rather than the whole lot. I find it works really well for me. Tell her to use lots of lube as& well and it's a good idea to warm up cold objects slightly so they don't feel horridly cold when she inserts them. I put dilators into a glass of hot water to warm them up. Above all, tell her not to rush. There is no race to have intercourse. She needs to listen to her body and wait until it is ready. Good luck to you both. | 2006-10-11 16:10:40 |
| 456 | 2986 | Hi, Please see the information linked to below for virgins, etc. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm Brad | 2006-10-11 23:01:49 |
| 456 | 2993 | Hi JohnDoe, I've been there... at first my boyfriend could get only 1 finger, he'd gently stretch it and apply pressure, asking me where it feels the nicest.& We took our time and worked it up to three fingers (in about three weeks or so).& & Then we had sex.& An extra tip: even though she thinks she's ready for penetration, she might not be.& & I'm talking physically ready here (not emotionally ready).& Being wet doesn't count (am usually wet enough the first two minutes but won't be ready until much later).& Knowing if one is physically ready can be tricky.& It should& feel& very statisfying when the guy enters.& A& clue is& if she feels pleasant tightness in her vagina& and a need to be filled.& Ask her. Don't forget about her clit though.& That's the best part :dude: | 2006-10-14 12:20:46 |
| 456 | 2995 | Rider, Men won't let this go!& They have to have the biggest of everything. Personally I care about girth.& But like ladybug said, it is a puzzle.& My boyfriend's penis is slightly long for me (especially in some positions) but we have alot of fun anyway. I would always choose a man with a small penis who's clever with his hands and tongue, who knows his way around a woman's body over a big penis with a man attached to it. | 2006-10-14 12:27:26 |
| 456 | 3002 | [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: "I would always choose a man with a small penis who's clever with his hands and tongue, who knows his way around a woman's body over a big penis with a man attached to it." I too would do the same!& My boyfriends penis isn't huge and isn't tiny.& Some positions are hard to do since I have a big booty. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img]& I love oral sex so much that having a guy know what he's doin' is definitely a bonus because if he isn't doing it to my needs, there'd be a problem.& 0:-) | 2006-10-15 21:57:45 |
| 456 | 3008 | Haha, thankfully mine is neither small or large, it's strictly average, which is good in regards to my gf, seeing as how it being big would be much more of a problem than not.& Thanks for the advice, and I definitely know that my fingers and tongue are the best tools at my disposal to please her :-P. | 2006-10-16 20:26:45 |
| 461 | 3006 | Thermal imaging shatters arousal gender gap myth September 29, 2006 McGill study shows women become aroused as quickly as men A new McGill University study that used thermal imaging technology for the first time ever to measure sexual arousal rates has turned the conventional wisdom that women become aroused more slowly than men on its head. "Comparing sexual arousal between men and women, we see that there is no difference in the amount of time it takes healthy young men and women to reach peak arousal," said Dr. Irv Binik, psychology professor and founder and director of the Sex and Couple Therapy Service of Royal Victoria Hospital, which is part of the McGill University Health Centre (MUHC). Thermal imaging, or thermography, is infrared imaging using thermographic cameras that detect radiation emitted by objects based on their temperature. Because of its usefulness in detecting warm objects in the dark, most people know it as the technology used in night vision goggles for military operations. Previously, sex researchers have measured arousal with instruments that require genital contact and manipulation. Binik focused thermographic cameras on his subjects' genitals while they watched a montage of material from pornography to horror movies to The Best of Mr. Bean to Canadian tourism travelogues to provide a base of control data. During the arousal experiment, the male and female subjects watched separate sexually explicit films procured from the Kinsey Institute and determined to be sexually arousing to specific genders. They watched the images through special video goggles to minimize distractions. As the subjects responded, the Binik team monitored body-temperature changes to within a 100th of a degree from a computer in another room. Both the men and the women began showing arousal within 30 seconds. The men reached maximal arousal in 664.6 seconds (roughly ten minutes), the women in 743 seconds – a statistically negligible difference. "In any experiment on sexual arousal done in a laboratory, there is some distraction," said Binik. "But compared to previous techniques involving invasive measures or electrodes, this is minimally invasive and the same measurements are used for men and women, which makes it very interesting that the data ended up being the same." Dr. Binik's PhD student, Tuuli Kukkonen, said, "This will help diagnose and treat sexual dysfunction in women, such as female sexual arousal disorder, which is poorly understood." Kukkonen will present a paper on the findings September 30 at the Canadian Sex Research Forum conference in Ottawa. The Journal of Sexual Medicine will publish the paper in its next issue, in January. Contacts McGill University Relations 514-398-3095 | 2006-10-16 10:51:42 |
| 461 | 3007 | That's very interesting. Thank you for sharing that with us! :) | 2006-10-16 16:07:32 |
| 462 | 3009 | I just have a question out of curiousity because I was just reading/studying about pregnancy.& I read that sometimes spotting occurs when a woman is pregnant.& During that spotting period, do they ever get cramps? | 2006-10-17 14:40:28 |
| 462 | 3014 | Hi, The following Q&A has some information: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_6.htm#8 Brad | 2006-10-17 22:08:17 |
| 463 | 3010 | ive read all the topics on here about people and their first time masturbating, but im still unsure. i feel that i should of tried it by now, and this is what cause my long distance relationship to end. im at the point to were i want to try. but im still scared. i kinda tried it on the phone with my girlfriend and i was turned on, but then i just stop. i didnt feel any pleasure from the rubing and vaginal insertion. maybe i wasnt doing it right. and when i was younger i found some pleasure from dry humping on the bed. but i never continued. im jst tired of being scared. | 2006-10-17 19:07:46 |
| 463 | 3011 | Hi Newmind..don't worry about no reaching orgasm ..since you are kind of new at masturbating I'll suggest to find some time to relax and explore your body and do not try to become aroused if it happens let it go...no only the vagina can produce pleasure, your neck, your nippples , your lips, your butt, your clit..and the most important do not try to hard to have an orgasm...it will come naturally. If something worked when you were younger try it again. Good luck Luisa | 2006-10-17 19:34:02 |
| 463 | 3013 | I read a& something interesting& in& a book called "For Yourself". The suggestion was to touch yourself as if you were a being from another planet, exploring out of curiosity as if you didn't know what you would find. Worth a try maybe. It might even give you a fantasy to start with, but you'll probably come up with your own fantasy that gets you hot. | 2006-10-17 21:06:53 |
| 463 | 3015 | thanks.....i guess i jst need to get over the fear. so trial and error kind of thing. | 2006-10-17 22:19:11 |
| 463 | 3016 | Your body is your gift.& There is no hurry you will have it for a long time.& Enjoy yourself in a quiet spot where you know no one will disturb you.& | 2006-10-18 00:40:33 |
| 463 | 3017 | Also, keep reminding yourself everyday that it is normal to do this and not dirty and sinful as many of us are brought up to believe. This maybe partly to blame for your fear. I think that is one of your problems. You've grown up being given a negative attitude to masturbation...like it is dirty, abnormal, wrong. You just have to convince yourself that it is none of these things and that it is healthy and normal and that there is no rush to try it. Don't try and make yourself do it just for the sake of doing it. You need to feel the need to do it and respond to that need. It is a personal thing. You aren't being rated in life or marked down on how fast you do it and how good you are at doing it so try not to feel like you have to do it and be perfect. Yesterday, I saw some photos of a female& model posing naked in a sexy scene with a naked& male model and those turned me on so I went and sorted myself out...LOL. Maybe finding something that you think might tap into your sexuality and turn you on will help. When you feel turned on, just go with the flow, follow your fantasies, do whatever makes you feel good. Do you ever think about sex at random times? Ask yourself the type of things you enjoy thinking about regarding sex, the things that make you feel excited. Finding out what turns you on is the best advice to get you in the mood to start with. Like others have mentioned, don't try too hard for orgasm. In fact, do not see masturbation as a means of achieving orgasm at all. Just do it because it feels good and do whatever feels great. Orgasm will come naturally once you start being able to do what your body likes. Waiting for it will stop it coming and trying too hard will certainly make orgasm more elusive. My first& happened totally by accident and I wasn't expecting it or trying for it. I didn't even really think about having orgasm and I hadn't been experimenting long when it happened. After that, I knew what would make it happen and was able to have more and now I can can over 20 in one session depending on how horny I was and& how much time I have. Trust me, there is nothing to be scared of because you are totally in control and only do what you want. If you don't like something, you stop, plain and simple. | 2006-10-18 10:16:57 |
| 463 | 3018 | newmind, What do you suppose that fear is about? Can you identify it? Not that you have to tell anyone here about it, but it might help you& to be a bit more in touch with what your fear is about. As someone who realizes that she is not always in touch with her own fears about lots of different things, I think it can sometimes be helpful to figure that out. Good luck. | 2006-10-18 10:20:22 |
| 463 | 3019 | Can I just second everything Canis Lupess said? :D As you can tell from my name here, I'm trying to overcome a fairly repressed upbringing that filled me with a lot of bullshit about what's right and wrong regarding sex. Let go of it now and you could save yourself some grief down the road. I know, easier said than done, but you have every right as a human being to enjoy your own body. Do you like reading bodice rippers or any other "arousing" literature? You could try simply caressing yourself while you read something hot just to get in touch with your own sexual responses. | 2006-10-18 10:53:14 |
| 463 | 3020 | i never really considered myself very sexual. like i flirt alot with people i like or just close friend, but its all for fun.& i have found out though i get turned on by sexual literature. i guess this is what is making me consider masturbation. and the fear is that im doing it wrong, or ill mess something up. not quite sure what though. my family is very open about stuff, but never sexual stuff. so i never learned that field. as for an orgasm, im right now just more interested in learning myself first. | 2006-10-18 17:26:39 |
| 463 | 3024 | You can't mess up. There is nothing to mess up. Nobody is there marking a sheet on how well you do and there is no set way to do it anyhow. It's very personal and there is bound to be trial and error but the worst that could happen in normal circumstances is that you try something and it doesn't work as well so you try something else instead. thats usual and normal...nothing to be afraid of. That happens to us all and not just at first. It's a whole life's lesson. Unless you did dangerous stuff like using knives or something that you could injure yourself with, lol. I just sort of let my mind run away with me. It's like my body just knew what it wanted...or something subconscious anyway. Do what your body asks for and you'll be fine. It has great ways of telling you& what it wants if you listen to it carefully. | 2006-10-19 11:12:43 |
| 463 | 3027 | haha no knifes here....thanks. im feeling more confedant about it. thanks ya'll | 2006-10-19 20:29:19 |
| 463 | 3029 | Hi, She does bring up a valid point in that there is no realistic examples available of how to masturbate. You can easily find a video that demonstaights how to build a house, but when it comes to masturbation you are on your own, in more ways then one. There are some examples on the following website, but you must be at least eighteen to visit. [url=www.the-female-orgasm.com/freesamples.html] www.the-female-orgasm.com/freesamples.html Brad | 2006-10-19 22:37:57 |
| 463 | 3039 | would it be easier/more pleasure if i shave? cuz i always wanted to, but heard about the irritation that comes with it. could someone give me some pointers for shaving? | 2006-10-20 19:23:31 |
| 463 | 3040 | If you do just take it really slow and be careful .& Its not a fun place to get cut.& *shivers* I enjoy the feeling of being hair free but it can be a bit of a pain to keep up with.& I've thought about using something like nair but I haven't gotten around to getting some. Kit | 2006-10-20 19:40:41 |
| 463 | 3041 | Just in my own humble opinion . . . Personally I would suggest learning how to masturbate first without shaving. Then if you want, you could try shaving your pubic hair. I only did that once and found that I had difficulty staying warm down there without any hair and kept losing my arousal. It made orgasm much more difficult. I don't know if other women have found that to be true. The other problem is the prickliness when it grows back. I found that too irritating to be worth any pleasure the smooth feeling gave me at first. I definitely would never try nair, but that's because I only tried it once on my legs and it gave me one hell of an irritation on regular skin. :-O& Can't even imagine what a little bit of nair accidently getting on the sensitive skin of the inner labia would feel like! :-((:-((:-(( I think a good way to start masturbating is to caress your vulva through one layer of thin fabric - either underwear or a sheet over yourself with no clothes on. I find that sensation quite pleasurable for getting that initial level of arousal. I also find it works well for my nipples, which in my case on not ultra-sensitive. Wear a t-shirt with no bra or cover yourself with a sheet while wearing no clothes. You could even work it into the fantasy of pretending you're an extraterrestrial or another person (man of your dreams) exploring and touching& your body, not knowing what he'd find. Start with the sheet over yourself and then imagine the person (or ET) getting more curious and finding what's beneath the sheet. OK, I'm getting kind of hot now, so I'll log off . . . | 2006-10-20 21:13:51 |
| 463 | 3042 | haha thank you nomoreguilt for that lovly fantasy. and thanks for the tip. ya'll really help alot on here. thanks | 2006-10-20 21:57:37 |
| 463 | 3045 | Oooo! How about Tarzan? Tarzan stumbles into your hut and finds you in bed beneath& a sheet. He begins exploring and . . . :dude: | 2006-10-21 08:10:36 |
| 463 | 3046 | About the hair issue. Maybe just trim it short, that should be enough rather than shaving it entirely....at least for the moment. I do shave my bikini line but have never shaved fully and it doesn't stop me from having orgasm after orgasm. I just trim it so it doesn't get too long. LOL, nomoreguilt, you have a very similar fantasy to one of mine, haha. The male in question though isn't an alien, just a guy who has never explored a female body before and doesn't really know what to expect. I find that the preferred fantasy of the moment tends to change over time. When I first started out, I didn't use this fantasy, I used others and they change gradually as you come up with new horny ideas. | 2006-10-21 09:36:41 |
| 463 | 3047 | I agree...I think it is nice when wearing nothing but panties, to pull it tight and rub it between the front part near the cltoral hood, & back and forth back and forth....when the panties start getting wet it means progress! LOL....bikinis are good also for this.... | 2006-10-21 19:53:27 |
| 463 | 3072 | i cant seem to find someting to turn me on enough, and even if i am i cant seem to find any good spots. i feel really akward with my hands. | 2006-10-25 23:27:22 |
| 463 | 3074 | As you continue to explore your body, you won't feel as awkward with your hands.& I remember, I just used different techniques a bunch of times until I finally rubbed it right. Sometimes it takes a bit longer for others and sometimes not.& You just need to find what really does it for you and you're still in the exploring stage.& | 2006-10-26 08:08:43 |
| 463 | 3075 | [user=900]newmind[/user] wrote: "i cant seem to find someting to turn me on enough, and even if i am i cant seem to find any good spots. i feel really akward with my hands. " I remember it took me a while to figure it all out. I had started caressing my inner labia and that gave me some sensation, but not enough to get me really hot. Then I read about the clitoris in a book (don't remember what book), and started stroking that. If you need extra lubrication, I find that hair conditioner has exactly the right consistency. (I'm not real fond of K-Y, but it also works for many people.) I eventually found the right amount of pressure to use on my clitoris as well as the right speed to stroke it. If you find yourself breathing harder and faster and your vulva begins to swell up, you're on the right track, but it may take a while. I know it took quite a long time of steady stroking to achieve my first orgasms. Actually, if often still takes quite a bit of time. For the initial phase of arousal, I find that a fairly light stroke through cotton underwear works quite well. You'll have to experiment some more, but I must say it really is worth the effort. ;) & | 2006-10-26 17:36:00 |
| 463 | 3076 | You know, I'll bet& that there have probably been many cultures historically, and& maybe even& some today, where girls who have reached puberty actually showed each other how to masturbate. I'm not sure I could get used to the practice myself, as I was raised in a fairly repressed household, but it makes perfect sense when you think of it from a practical standpoint.& It's sad that our culture is so puritanical. At least we have this forum! ;) | 2006-10-26 17:42:43 |
| 463 | 3077 | yea i dont think i would feel comfertable, with other girls. jst not how i was raised. and i jst get distracted easily i guess. cuz i start feeling something and i breath a little more heavly. but then& i dont know i get distacted. i guess im not fully into it yet. any ideas for a stimulas. like items, or pictures? | 2006-10-26 19:39:23 |
| 463 | 3078 | porn? When I first started masturbating, I would read erotica off of websites.& It wasn't the best of stories, but it definitely did the trick. | 2006-10-26 20:14:08 |
| 463 | 3080 | I rely on fantasy. Tonight I was flying in under half an hour. | 2006-10-27 19:02:41 |
| 463 | 3081 | You don't have to stick to using your hands. Use other things also. Try not to think too much about it, just sort of let it happen in it's own good time. I can get much better sensations by using other objects to stimulate myself with than by using my hands such as a soft toy or something. I don't use my bare hands very often because they just don't produce the same sensations as using other things. | 2006-10-27 20:22:22 |
| 463 | 3083 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "porn? When I first started masturbating, I would read erotica off of websites.& It wasn't the best of stories, but it definitely did the trick. " Reading erotic literature (also the experiences on the-clitoris.com) definitely helps get me started. I can't really continue to read a story once I start the "serious" business of stimulating myself so I rely on fantasy at that point. I love imagining being the subject of a "learning experience" for three young, male doctors. A female doctor is showing them the feminine anatomy and how to stimulate the proper parts to produce orgasm using my body as the example (see one, do one, teach one :-D). They are all in awe of my beautiful pussy and& express it enthusiastically.& They can't wait to get their lips and tongue on me! The woman doctor in charge gently chastises them and makes each of them wait their turn! Pretty narcissistic, but it's just a fantasy, not something I'm going to seek out in reality. Keep in mind that it may take quite a bit of time. I think when I started, it would typically take about 45 minutes or more of steady, direct stimulation of my clitoris to achieve orgasm. I was one determined little teenager! >:)& Now it varies quite a bit. Often, it will take about 20 minutes, sometimes more. I've had some orgasms in under 10 minutes, but they are rare. I still have times when it can take close to an hour. The average for me is probably& between 20 and 30 minutes. Good luck enjoying your body! ;) | 2006-10-28 09:00:21 |
| 463 | 3095 | Keep in mind that it may take quite a bit of time. I think when I started, it would typically take about 45 minutes or more of steady, direct stimulation of my clitoris to achieve orgasm. I was one determined little teenager! [img]images/emoticons/16.gif[/img]& Now it varies quite a bit. Often, it will take about 20 minutes, sometimes more. I've had some orgasms in under 10 minutes, but they are rare. I still have times when it can take close to an hour. The average for me is probably& between 20 and 30 minutes. The longer it takes can be the more enjoyable too. | 2006-10-31 05:27:44 |
| 463 | 3099 | I do remember the days when I started... I would just take my time... lay back and explore, and then there were those times when I wanted to get to sleep and a quickie would just do. :) Speaking of objects, I've used a candle (not lit!), hairbrush handle, venus razor handle (I highly rec. this!& The ridges on the bottom side massage you inside while you thrust it in and out.), my fingers, and also virbrators. | 2006-10-31 14:06:54 |
| 463 | 3101 | Just curious, do any other women here find that sitting is a good position for masturbating? I've read some experiences here that describe lying on your back, but I find that if I'm sitting I can reach everything better and my vulva sort of "hangs" in a way that helps. | 2006-10-31 18:25:55 |
| 463 | 3102 | Sitting is nice, but it's hard to insert things that way.... | 2006-10-31 20:38:52 |
| 463 | 3106 | Hi Nomore...I'm with you I can mastrubate some times sitting w no panties, the seam of my shorts or jeans inside my vulva and rock my crossed legs rithmically and i get a nice orgasm; it is not the position is how you find more comfortable to get aorused..Luck Luisa | 2006-11-01 10:19:09 |
| 463 | 3107 | I've done it sitting and standing as well as lying down. I prefer to be laying when I orgasm though, I can let go more than when standing and sitting but I can still orgasm ok when& standing or sitting. I manage to stay on my feet when standing anyway, haha. | 2006-11-01 11:06:52 |
| 463 | 3109 | [user=900]newmind[/user] wrote: "i cant seem to find someting to turn me on enough, and even if i am i cant seem to find any good spots. i feel really akward with my hands. " The stimulus is just a starting point (by stimulus I mean pictures, movies, or words).& Most people don't actually get off on seeing other people engage in sexual activities.& Instead, try using these things simply as a means of exploring possible fantasies, as inspiration.& Find some picture or story that arouses you somewhat, but rather than trying to find just the right image or story, turn to your own mind instead.& Insert yourself into the scenario, imagine yourself being involved in the act being shown.& Then, if its not the right thing for you, instead of looking for another picture or a movie, make your own imaginary changes to the fantasy.& If you aren't totally attracted to the person in the picture, then imagine a more attractive person taking their place.& If you have one particular person in mind, then substitute them for the person in the picture. If the setting for the fantasy isn't quite right, run the fantasy through your mind several times until you find a setting more appealing to you.& For example, if two people are having sex on a beach, but you've always enjoyed thunderstorms, change your fantasy to be set outside in the rain instead of the beach. But above all, insert yourself into the fantasy.& A lot of literature and most porn is told from a 3rd person perspective.& If you are looking at pictures, the pictures are taken to show everything in detail.& If you like the picture, imagine it through the eyes of one of the people instead of from outside the act. In my case, and its probably the case for everyone else in this thread as well, I will sometimes run through variations on a fantasy a dozen times or more before I think up something that's really enticing.& Fantasizing is a lot like creating anything else, you start with a rough idea and gradually embellish it until it gets to a point you like.& It's ok not to be turned on right away, it's actually quite normal.& If the fantasy isn't working for you, not only is that OK, but its also perfectly normal.& Just be patient and open minded until you think up something you really enjoy. And when fantasizing, I think its always important not to be disturbed.& You might want to turn the ringer off on your phone, turn off the TV, shut the door, and make sure you have the place to yourself with no distractions.& Make your surroundings such that you can relax and focus on yourself. As for being awkward with your hands, it's perfectly ok.& In fact, a lot of people (women in particular) don't masturbate with their hands.& If I remember correctly, most women who started masturbating young actually start by grinding against things instead of using their hands, and many of them continue with that method into adulthood.& This can include harder objects like stradling bannisters or the arm of a chair, or softer things like straddling or squeezing the legs around pillows, rolled up blankets, or stuffed animals.& In either case, it's a matter of using your legs and hips as opposed to using your hands.& Other women use water jets or faucets in bath tubs, showers, or hot tubs.& Again, this could help with the awkwardness of the hands.& Just place yourself beneath a faucet or in front of a jet in a tub or jacuzi until you find a pleasurable position, then its just a matter of slight body movements to find the right spot.& Personally I think tubs/showers/jacuzis are nice because the hot water is very relaxing. | 2006-11-01 16:24:11 |
| 463 | 3111 | I prefer the humping pillow method myself... | 2006-11-01 21:27:32 |
| 463 | 3120 | Hi Missy what about the teddy bear? never humped him? lol& Luisa | 2006-11-02 11:59:10 |
| 463 | 3125 | I once used to think about using a teddy bear of mine... but then I got a sudden rush of guilt.& I didn't want to ruin the teddy bear with getting bodily fluids on him and where would I hide him so no one would see? | 2006-11-02 14:22:50 |
| 463 | 3128 | I'm pretty sure stuffed animals are machine washable :D | 2006-11-02 15:31:46 |
| 463 | 3129 | Hi, A lady I knew use to use the tail on her stuffed animal as a girl. :P If the fluids soak in I am not sure you could get it totally clean so you may have get a new one periodically. Brad | 2006-11-02 16:05:55 |
| 463 | 3130 | Luisa when I was young I did, but when you are young, I don't think you get wet like 20's | 2006-11-02 19:20:59 |
| 463 | 3131 | Hi Missy you're right! but my teddy had his share of suspicious spots lol.........(tail, nose, etc) Luisa | 2006-11-03 15:23:54 |
| 463 | 3132 | Haha, and I thought it was only mine that had those spots......!!!LOL:D& Same places too. | 2006-11-03 16:51:05 |
| 463 | 3137 | ok i need help...i cant keep my imgination going. like i can start to get off on it and then i lose it. im not very good with fantasys, any other ideas about what to do? | 2006-11-06 23:44:58 |
| 463 | 3138 | It could be many things.& If you are stressed about work or agitated or have something else important on your mind it will definitely affect your sexual response.& That's common for men and women in any kind of sexual situation. You have to be comfortable with yourself as well.& Ask yourself if you are really comfortable with yourself and be totally honest.& By being comfortable with yourself I don't mean that you have to like everything about yourself.& Nobody is totally happy with themselves.& What I mean is that you have to be accept that you have faults and love yourself in spite of them.& Like it or not, you are who you are, so you might as well like it :P& This is really important because this is a big source of anxiety for a lot of people. I am guessing from your first post that you are either gay, bi, or curious.& That could be adding an element of stress depending on your social situation. Enjoying masturbation (or sex in general for that matter) is mostly a psychological thing.& Be sure that you clearly mentally acknowledge to yourself that you want to focus on yourself and that you are devoting the time to yourself.& Tell yourself that you aren't going to let yourself be distracted by other matters. If you do lose focus or get distracted don't get distressed either.& If you remember what I said about starting over with a fantasy until you find one that works for you, do the same if you get distracted with something else.& You don't have to rush yourself.& Other people already mentioned not to worry about orgasm.& You shouldn't have a goal when you masturbate.& If you have a goal you are striving for, any time you aren't acheiving it you will be making yourself anxious.& It's better for you to keep an open mind.& Just try anything that comes to mind to see if it feels good.& When you find something that feels good, just keep doing it until you are comfortable doing it regularly and familiar with it.& Then try to find something that feels even better.& If whatever you try next doesn't feel better, go back to what you know feels good.& Keep trying different stuff until you find something that feels better and get yourself comfortable with that as well.& You really have to learn how your body responds before you can give yourself an orgasm.& If you don't mind sharing, you might tell us how you go about masturbating.& I don't mean the little intimate details.& I mean share what makes you decide to do it, what kind of surroundings you put yourself in, what kind of visual/written aids you have, etc.& What time of the day do you do it?& Are you trying to work it in before work or something else when you have a deadline?& Where do you do it?& Do you live alone (meaning you have to worry about interruptions)?& How old are you?& Do you have any religious pressures or expectations regarding sex?& Just give us a description more or less of the situation you live in and what the cirumstances of you experimenting with masturbation are. | 2006-11-07 01:33:24 |
| 463 | 3231 | [user=900]newmind[/user] wrote: "ok i need help...i cant keep my imgination going. like i can start to get off on it and then i lose it. im not very good with fantasys, any other ideas about what to do? " Fantasy is great, but it can also be helpful to simply focus on the physical sensations you're experiencing. If your mind is completely occupied with creating a scenario, you may be leaving your body behind. My fantasies tend to be fairly simple. I'm often completely absorbed with all those wonderful sensations in my pussy.& :D& If your fingers aren't giving you those sensations, you could try a household object. I once tried the rubber tip of an eye dropper on my clitoris. Worked pretty well, actually and helped me imagine that someone else was doing it! :cool:& Take your time and focus on all those warm, tingly feelings! If you feel your inner labia swelling up, that's good. Keep going. It gets better! If you feel it get more intense and then& lots of different muscles in your body tense up, keep going. You're almost there! | 2006-11-24 10:10:57 |
| 463 | 3676 | I love to do it with my panties | 2007-02-11 05:06:23 |
| 463 | 4066 | sry its been awhile since ive been on. yea im gay and i had my first sexual expirence with my girlfriend. It was akward because i had no idea what i was doing. neither did she but this expirence started again me wanting to masterbate. ive been trying different methods. laying on my stomach, laying on my back. and right now im jst using my hands until i get the basic concept. i get a stimulating thought and try to work on it. but i can never keep the stimulation going. | 2007-04-13 14:58:49 |
| 463 | 4074 | Hi, In the list of movie recommendations I posted there are a couple mainstream girl/girl movies that may provide the necessary mental stimulation you need too keep things going.& I say girl/girl because two girls/women having sex doesn't in of itself make them lesbians. Undress to a comfortable level, sit or lay on a towel in front of your TV/Computer, lubricate your vulva, then caress your vulva as you watch the movie. "Watch" the movie rather than focusing on what your hand or hands are doing. If you find yourself focusing on the physical sensations stop and watch the movie for a while. If the characters in the movie don't arouse you then try a different movie. Even if you are a lesbian you may prefer male/male porn or erotica. Brad | 2007-04-14 12:39:13 |
| 463 | 4174 | where is this list?? | 2007-05-16 18:25:04 |
| 463 | 4178 | Hi, Here is the link: www.the-clitoris.com/sexforum/view_topic.php?id=615&forum_id=7 Brad | 2007-05-20 07:36:37 |
| 463 | 4195 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: " There are some examples on the following website, but you must be at least eighteen to visit. [url=www.the-female-orgasm.com/freesamples.html] www.the-female-orgasm.com/freesamples.html " Can anyone identify what looks like a dolphin vibrator in these videos?& I am intrigued..... | 2007-05-27 10:08:54 |
| 463 | 4198 | Hi, There are many different types of dolphine vibrators.& The vibe used in the video linked to below is one of them, though it isn't obvious. [url=www.the-female-orgasm.com/samples/freesamples-hotmilf.wmv] www.the-female-orgasm.com/samples/freesamples-hotmilf.wmv Any vibe that has a soft jelly projection, like the rabbit ears on rabbit style combination vibe seem to work well. We sell Pleasure Paws, and a woman at a gettogether said she wore out hers that looked like a dolpine rather than a little bear. | 2007-05-27 10:28:10 |
| 463 | 4199 | Pleasure Paws | 2007-05-27 10:28:46 |
| 463 | 4200 | Comination Vibe | 2007-05-27 10:32:57 |
| 464 | 3021 | I was reading a post from one of the members who was saying "find something that taps into your sexuality and go with that to turn you on". This struck a cord with me and sent me wondering.& What is my sexuality?& How do I express it without wrecking a good relationship? & & I have a partner of many years and love her to bits.& & I am finding more and more though that I have sexual fantasies of being with an asian women or a an exotic black woman or a small skinny woman who is completely shaved without a hair on her body.& & As my partner does not fit this bill at all I am wondering what to do?& Do I just find sexy stories or nice pictures that turn me on? Do I use masturbation as an outlet?& I do this and feel terribly guilty!!! I should add that my partner suffers from& the trauma of childhood sexual abuse and vaginaismus.& She is doing really well in her willingness to trust and have a good connection.& & I dont want to push her to far.& & Any thoughts from the membership? | 2006-10-18 21:50:48 |
| 464 | 3025 | We all have these naughty fantasies but, in real life, would you really want it? chances are, you wouldn't. They are just fantasies and thats why they are safe. Women fantasize about being raped and abused and alsorts but they obviously wouldn't want it to really happen to them. The reason they turn you on is because you know the thoughts are naughty and taboo. Is your partner able to engage in any form of sex like oral or mutual masturbation? If so, just do that with her, learn new stuff and enjoy yourselves. If she knows you want to be close to her but that you aren't worrying about how long you are having to wait for IC, she'll start feeling much better about herself. Her problems will be resolved quicker with this kind of support and you can still& enjoy yourself more too in the meantime. | 2006-10-19 11:24:21 |
| 464 | 3028 | Hi, I would suggest role playing to explore different fantasies. There are limits, but consider how female couples explore scenes involving a male and female personas. Don't allow anatomical restrictions be a restriction.& If you cannot penetrate your partner vaginally then when it comes to f**king place your penis between her breasts, thighs, buttocks, or even get a artificial pussy. With a few household items you can explore different fantasies. While you cannot change skin color and body size you can change styles of dress and vocabulary. The video we sell called "Talk to Me Baby" explores role playing, but this video is currently out of stock. A challenge you face is that you need your partner to know you want to be with them rather than the fantasy person. The lower a person's self esteem the harder it will be to keep this playful. It may help if you can act out their fantasies too. You don't want them believing you would rather be with some one else. Brad | 2006-10-19 22:31:00 |
| 464 | 3032 | Many thanks Brad for those thoughts.& I like the idea of exploring it within the relationship and assuring my partner that its her that I want.& & I will also ask her to explore her fantasies. Will have to wait for a time that is right as she is slowly building trust and confidence from her sexual abuse.& I am interested in what you meant by lesbian exploring man/ women fantasies.& Please let me know where I can find out more.& & | 2006-10-20 00:58:17 |
| 464 | 3059 | Hi Jesse, I was referring to male and female identities, that is a woman playing the role of a woman or man, or at least society's expectations of them. It is the stereotypical butch/femme dynamics. A female couple may role play being a male cop and female prostitute or father and daughter. Just about any male/female sexual interaction. Since they both have female anatomy and may identify as women it adds a unique twist and thrill to the role playing, by acting as society says they shouldn't. Some women identity as men or masculine women so all their sexual interactions& with women involve some degree of role playing, from society's perspective. It is similar to heterosexual sexual interaction where the man plays the role of a woman and the woman the role of a man. Any time you are playing a role in which your physical anatomy doesn't match the role you are playing. This is some thing society is not generally accepting of. Brad | 2006-10-22 19:45:36 |
| 467 | 3052 | Hi. I'm 20, and I'm very self-concious about the size of my clitoral hood. It's about an inch long and very wide and fat. I know, especially on the website, that clitoral size differs from woman to woman, but I feel like such a freak. My clitoral hood is noticeable in bathing suits and underwear and even in tighter pants. It's become very embarassing to me. It has also affected my sex life. I'm so afraid to let my partner see me down there that I always insist on& sex with the lights off. I also don't like having oral performed on me or being touched down there. This is causing me a lot of emotional anguish. I have heard of clitoral unhooding, but I would rather not undergo surgery. I don't agree with it, but I don't know what else to do. I would like some advice or opinions. What do you think about large clitorises? Are they common and normal or am I deformed in some way? Thanks all! | 2006-10-22 09:39:25 |
| 467 | 3054 | Hi dear Naja we can't compare vulvas because no too many are alike, what you think is ugly it could be a turn on for another person but today there are a lot of very competent Doctors that perform "cosmetic surgery in the vulva" including vaginal lips, clitoris, etc and it is very simple and practically painless so do not worry and go to a good doctor and do what ever makes you happy. Good luck Luisa | 2006-10-22 14:07:04 |
| 467 | 3057 | I think it would be more important to realise that you are not abnormal, you are just part of a massive variation. You need to learn how to accept yourself as being attractive. I doubt any guy would complain about your clitoral hood. In fact, many guys would find it a turn on. There are many women who worry because their clit is too small and you are worrying that yours is too big. I saw some photos of clits that were nearly as long as a flacid penis. I'm never for cosmetic surgery unless it is something severe that needs correcting to put it within the realms or normal because this just promotes the idea that we need to keep fixing ourselves because we are not good enough otherwise and women never learn to love and accept what they were born with if they are going out having surgery on stuff to change it. It just sort of feeds into the concept of body dysmorphia....like these doctors are saying "Come and have your body parts made better because they aren't good enough right now". I could understand more if the large hood was causing some kind of physical discomfort or other physical problems mind. | 2006-10-22 17:45:08 |
| 467 | 3058 | Just in my humble opinion, I think it might be best to try to get comfortable with your body before taking a step like plastic surgery. In all likelihood, you are normal. There must be guys out there who like a large clitoris. I think I might enjoy being the owner of one, since it would seem to give you more to work with, but what do I know (I believe my own is probably average to slightly small). I think it would really help you to learn to love, respect and enjoy your body as it is. I'm not convinced that plastic surgery would help you that much. If you do look into plastic surgery, find out how a dozen or so women felt about the procedure after having it done and don't rely on what the doctor tells you for that information. Get it from the& women themselves.& | 2006-10-22 18:02:50 |
| 467 | 3064 | Canis Lupess & No More Guilt gave very good answers. All too often woman are worrying about their vulva and whether they can orgasm. They are concerned about the sensitivity of their clitorus, size of their breasts and how their partner sees them physically. Men worry about the size of their penis, whether they will ejaculate too soon or enough or how they should fondle their partner. What the partners turn ons are etc. etc. I realy believe we should love our own bodies first. Once we 'accept' ourselves others will enjoy us more. Making cosmetic changes only delays acceptance. When I alter the size of my breast, I will feel comfortable showing my partner. Or If I made my clitoral hood smaller my partner would enjoy me more. I seriously wonder& if your partner 'knows' what size is 'normal' for a clitoral hood. I don't and I have had experience. My body isn't great. I enjoy using it. What I really enjoy though is making passionate love. Having intimate, passionate understanding, feeling, communication and overall mutual trust and desire. My partners have always appealed to me both physically and emotionally. I never have wanted a quick fuck, I could more enjoy a good pull of my dick.:shock: I enjoy the sensation of mutual communication, in 'all' its forms:D I don't worry about my size. It is sometimes too small. It is sometimes too large. I have never found a vulva that is inadequate in size or shape. I have always found a complete body that offers me appeal and I try very hard to respond and offer my appeal. I find it works. I'm not saying that every sexual experience has been fully accepted by my partner. I know that we have always enjoyed each other. Please Naja, accept your self as being a unique, beautiful person( I'm sure I would love the experience of a large clitoral hood). Neil | 2006-10-23 08:29:04 |
| 467 | 3065 | Hi Naja! :) While recognising and understanding your concerns, you should be aware that just& like women,& men have a multitude of different tastes.& & For millions of us poor souls the search for& a woman with a large hood, clitoris, or hanging labia takes on the the proportions of the Knights of old& searching for the Holy Grail. Now just where did I leave that Lance and Shield??? ;) | 2006-10-23 08:30:48 |
| 467 | 3069 | Thank you all so much for your replies. You have made me feel so much better. I can't thank you all enough for your responses. :) | 2006-10-24 21:29:23 |
| 467 | 3173 | There is nothing wrong with that, in fact it adds to the beauty of your vulva. I personally strongly advise against any surgery. :) | 2006-11-13 07:16:06 |
| 467 | 3178 | Hi, I have added a Q&A that has photos of one young woman's vulva that features the attributes she describes. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_17.htm#4] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_17.htm#4 You might say that a vulva of this type has all the whistles and bells! Brad | 2006-11-14 09:17:23 |
| 467 | 3486 | Interesting that I wound up here from doing a search on the net.& I have been in the other group and just never came over here.& Howdy Princess, I see I had to register here, anew.& I was looking for info on this subject& relating to things are& too small.& As usuall it is all about big on the net. Naja, I am a man and find that a large clitorus is desirable on a woman, but never mind what I may like.& Let me tell a story about a young lady with a large clitoris. I have a girl cousin (actually a daughter of 1st cousin) that is all a very religious family.& I noticed when the girl was 12 or 14 or so that she was VERY sensual and had what I call "the problem" that I feel a few in our family inherit.& That of being oversexed, if you will.& & Lets just say an almost uncontrollable labito.& In fact I stopped going over to their house for years,& as I was single, too old for her, too related, and yet very attracted to her. Years later when in her early 20s she came to live in my state.& She always gets excited around me and everyone notices and I cannot even brush up against or touch her or she seemed to go in orbit.& And she flirted a lot with me and I was married by this time.& She came here because of trouble in school and things.& Her grades were always bad and had a hard time holding a job. I finally called her bluff, in a way, and it provided a means for us to talk.& (and that is all, just talk)& She began confiding in me all her little problems with boys, and this was kiddie stuff.& She was still a virgin at this point.& I told her about this libito issue I felt was in the family and named names to her and a little about each.& I told her she was one of us.& She was shocked I could tell.& Bottom line, as I write too long a story sometimes, I was right and she began to talk. So since a child she discovered masterbation and running water and whatnot.& Surprising to me was her telling me how she had this discovery of that bump or button down there that she had and that would so easlily get excited.& Her Mom and Dad would never talk to her.& Her mom was distant and sick in bed a lot too, while she grew up.& She had also found a book growing up about clitoruses which helped, but didn't say much about size.& Anyway I was amazed about her clitorus size.& I had never seen or heard much of this myself, at the time.& & Seems hers would swell up to quite a VERY LARGE diameter.& It was the diameter of a nickel in non excited state, she said.& She had similar problems of it rubbing pance and sticking out and just generally getting in the way.& She went through years of masterbating to years of not at all.& She also had issues like me of not being able to concentrate in HS or college due to constant arousal.& I know she is as intellegent as her brother who is getting a Phd soon.& I related how as a teen (I was tall and ultra skinny) my penis was so large and hard and made my pance stick WAY OUT at school, I had to keep my books in front of me& and the other hinad in my pocket.& It would hardly ever go down, similar to her clit it seems.& Like her I did not date due to the over excitement and embarressment of it all.& Just so you know that some of us guys feel we have a problem too. Today my cousin is happily married and works very steadily and doing rather well in life.& Her fmaily is amazed at her responsibility level compared to her growing up.& But our talking was like this HUGE reliefe for her.& She realized she was not alone and that there are men who like her just the way she is.& I guess I became a little bit of a coach or confidant during her dating time and only a short time after married.& She married a man in her church who's family openly talks and jokes about sex.& Now things are like no big deal at all. she got the right balance in her life she wanted and needed. Sorry for length of post and not sure it hit the right point needed.& I think all the others said it better.& Hey, you may very well be rare, but dang girl, that is a plus.& And that is nothing against those who are a more typical size.& Men like it all.>:):D& If I may be so bold. | 2007-01-04 07:44:39 |
| 467 | 3488 | That is a very good story detailing beliefs, sensitivity and sensibility about our bodies. I am glad to hear of your approach to your younger cousin and settling her mind of her sensuous nature. & I used to sometimes wonder what it would be like to have the ‘luxury’ of a large member as I am average. Later in life I understand my size is fine and nothing else matters. I am also fortunate to have family and friends who openly discuss sexuality. & I guess it is the way we are made for some of us to have more sensuous organs than others and as a result a higher libido. & I still believe no-one should ever be ashamed of their body and always satisfied with ‘who they are’ as their inner being is the ‘light’ that shares in the BIGGER PICTURE | 2007-01-04 18:47:46 |
| 467 | 3489 | Hi Naja; You say that your clit hood is noticable through your bathing suit, underpants and even your pants. Has anyone mentioned this to you? Do men stare at your (wonderful) crotch? If they do I bet they aren't laughing. They probably love the look of a well developed pussy. For God's sake, don't get any cutting done down there. Your's is just as beautiful as any, and to a lot of men (myself included) probably more so. Learn to accept and love your fine pussy and let men enjoy the look of a well filled pair of panties. | 2007-01-04 19:13:07 |
| 467 | 3491 | You know even a high pubic bone on a woman is atractive to me.& I am not sure I have a preference for anything in particualr.& It is the person I liked or not or at least the overall.& My first wife started gaining waeight and never stopped.& I never let myself think about it, while we were married.& I just never let my mind go there.& You either like the person or you don't.& Think about all the things all people have for their mate to learn and know about them.& This is the one person we confide in.& A great deal of joy and trust and freedom and confidence comes out of sharing our embarressments.& We grow in other areas then.& Just my .02. | 2007-01-04 19:26:24 |
| 467 | 6566 | I don't believe a hood is noticeable under clothes. A very small number of women have a noticeable large clit. This is a problem only with swimming togs. Where I live, many women who are less than serious swimmers wear shorts over their bikini bottoms. My point is that being well endowed compared to other women is something that you only need to discuss with your sex partners. Don't worry about it otherwise. If you have no trouble peeing and climaxing, please never cut anything off. You are fine just the way your are. And there are men who PREFER women well endowed down below. | 2009-04-06 01:34:17 |
| 472 | 3085 | My wife and I have just started experimenting with mild bondage. I like being tied helplessly to the bed and having her take complete control. Periodically she gets pain and discomfort when we have intercourse, so this also allows her total control over the amount of penetration, position and so on she receives. Neither of us had ever tried anything like this before and we are both surprised that we like the experiences. She’s taking things really carefully and is slowly “getting into it†so to speak. So I’d REALLY appreciate any helpful advise, ideas etc to assist us. Yeah, we are major newbies, but then everyone was at some point ;-) NEITHER of us appear interested in BDSM,& whips etc although our collection of anal vibrators is growing >:) Thanks folks. | 2006-10-28 13:17:12 |
| 474 | 3087 | hy dears girls and ladies& ,i wana ask u a question WHATS UR BREAST SIZE ? are u satisfied with it i have a loving girlfriend she has& size& 32& and it is ok ok ,i used to have a fun lot with this size .i love it | 2006-10-29 08:28:23 |
| 474 | 3088 | You only mention the size of her upper body where the rib cage is, not the actual cup size. A woman can be 32, 34, 36 etc...and still have the same cup size. There are some women who are 32 and have an& F cup and then there are women who are 40 around and have a AA cup. It varies. I'm 34 around and I am a C cup. I'm satisfied with that. It's a comfortable inbetween size without being too big mainly. If I had the choice of being really big or being flat, I'd choose flat simply because of the problems that big boobs can create. I've seen my mother suffer because of very large boobs. | 2006-10-29 08:51:49 |
| 474 | 3093 | well i got fited for a 38 D but when i went to buy them they were to big...i fit a 38 C pretty well. im ok with them. kinda wish they were smaller. i get weirded out if im running or jumping... | 2006-10-30 23:44:09 |
| 474 | 3098 | Sometimes fitting aren't 100% correct.& As you said in your post the cup felt a little big so you went down to a C. One of my jobs during the summer I was working in retail, and as part of my job I was to bra fit women.& Sometimes when I would say that they were a D and they would try a D cup on with the correct band measurement, the cup did seem to be a little too big.& That's one thing about bras, you need to play around with them a little in order to find what fits you best.& Some women wear too small of a cup that their boobies are popping out and it makes it look like that have four boobs. In my mind, that looks uncomfortable. Also, keep in mind that not all bras are the same in shape and whatnot so you might wear a bigger or smaller size bra in a different style. :) | 2006-10-31 14:01:28 |
| 474 | 3142 | My size is 34B and i have no problem with it. thanks to all | 2006-11-07 12:02:03 |
| 474 | 3271 | i am a size 36C and im okay with it. but if i had the choice, i would be smaller. i play a lot of sports and they get in the way. i also think that they attract too much attention. lol | 2006-11-26 17:41:49 |
| 474 | 3286 | Fun, I'm a 32 or 34 C; depends on the style, as forementioned. It's funny, though, because I'm a very little person. I'm 4'9.5" (about 146.1 cm, I think), with a size two and a half to three children's shoe, a 23-inch (58.4 cm)& waist, and a little over 34 inches (86.4 cm) around the hips. Heheh, if I wore tighter clothes, people might notice...but yeah, I'm happy with myself. : ) Even though the fact that I don't wear showy clothes makes some people I know think that I'm not, but Mexican shirts and whatnot are my style. | 2006-11-27 16:10:47 |
| 480 | 3133 | Hi!& I am very concerned about& the absence or & lack of vaginal mucous or lubrication.& I am 32 and I have not noticed or experienced having any significant discharge from my vagina& from adolescence up to the present.& I was planning on using the Billings Method but I realized that I had no mucous to check!& I may have felt wet a few times but have not seen any evidence of lubrication on my panties.& I also do not get wet when aroused or orgasmic or during masturbation.& I have held off vaginal intercourse and I am a virgin.& I am afraid that I may also not lubricate during sex and is this any indication of infertility or any kind of disorder? I've searched the net over for an explanation to this and have found none.& I hope you can give me some answers to this.& Thank you very much! | 2006-11-04 09:06:26 |
| 480 | 3135 | Have you spoken to a doctor about it? If you really don't experience any lubrication at all, it seems like there might be a medical reason behind it. | 2006-11-05 20:26:01 |
| 480 | 3139 | Hello If you have not done so already you need to get a complete hormone profile done and then have it repeated the following month, if necessary a third month. This will give the medical team, doctors and so on, the idea of what the 'normal' balance is for you. There are a number of things which could cause vaginal dryness for the length of time you describe, the two that spring to mind instantly upon reading your post are the way your body deals with insulin and eostrogen or rather the lack of. The other things are, soaps, washing powder or tablets that are used in the laundry, nylon underwear, your diet, your lifestyle and a few others. No mucus can also indicate something much more serious so please get this checked out by a doctor. Princess | 2006-11-07 05:37:53 |
| 482 | 3141 | I have a sister who is 15 years of age and i am 22. we live in the same room. now a days i am observing that whenever i saw her a bit open while she change dress or while her clothes goes up when she sleeps i feel a exited feelings. when i see her naked legs i wanna see more in my uncosious mind. i dont know why it happens but i feel more curious to see her other parts of her body which is unseen to me. we brought up together and i never felt like this before. i am asking to u did this happens to ur life with sister ever? i dont think it is normal. i dont know is it a disease or what? am i pervert or it may happen to anyone? let me know and help me out as i am feeling very guilty. take care to all. both sisters may answer this question well. | 2006-11-07 11:59:57 |
| 482 | 3143 | I think it's normal to an extent.& Where exactly is your location?& There's actually a law in so locations that siblings of the opposite sex after a certain age aren't to share a room. It may be a fantasy of yours, but I don't recommend acting it out. | 2006-11-07 12:13:28 |
| 482 | 3144 | U made mistake Lady bug. we both are sisters. i am a girl of 22 years and she is 15 years. and i live in Dhaka the capital city of Bangladesh. here there is no law live in same room for the sisters. as she is growing older i am having this feelings more i can feel. do u pls have any good answers? any of u sisters have ever feel such pls let me know. | 2006-11-07 12:20:56 |
| 482 | 3145 | Whoops, didn't mean to be mistaken. I couldn't tell your gender through the computer. I think it still is normal.& I sometimes would be curious about my sister's body... I still think she is very attractive, but I don't find myself getting horny over any thoughts of my sister. It might just be a phase you're going through. | 2006-11-07 16:06:35 |
| 482 | 3146 | While I am male and cant speak of sister to sister feelings I think you are giving yourself a hard time.& Go easy on yourself it maybe just your natural hormones or a reflection of what is going on in your life.& Maybe you sister is giving off some vibes in her natural flowering as a woman as she uncovers her own sexuality.& I dont really know but go easy on yourself.& Do you date men? & & I would not try acting on it in any way. | 2006-11-07 18:05:38 |
| 482 | 3147 | it wasnt my sister but i grew up with one of my girl cousins and i had this same attraction too. in some cases its normal, to wonder what they look like. its because they're right there, you see it everyday. i sugest not putting youself in postions to see her naked, or close to it. and dont act on ur feelings. its hard because your curious, just dont feel all guilty about it. thats just going to put your down. | 2006-11-07 19:10:34 |
| 482 | 3148 | thanks newmine for ur serious and nice advice i will remember ur words. but problem we have to stay together in a room so i have no choice to avoid those situation as u told me. my and her hairs are very long sometime she asks me to shampoo her hair in the bathroom. it is not very uncommon as we do it for each other from our childhood. but as i said now a days when i see her with undergerments which were wet in bathroom while shampooing i get more curious too. is this curious ness is common or normal? did ur feelings was of same kind. no i havent date so far with men as mine is a conservative family and country. but i feel attraction for boys. i have no problem with them. should i tell this feelings to my sister? pls advice me. | 2006-11-08 07:33:33 |
| 482 | 3149 | I wouldn't worry about the feelings you get. Like others say, they are most likely& just curiosity. Think about it, yours is the only female body you really get to see. You are bound to want to compare to others and see what they have but in a society where we all keep ourselves covered up and hidden, this is hard to do so such feelings as yours become common. If your family walked around the house naked all the time from you being a small child, you wouldn't bat an eyelid now about seeing them naked. It would just be a body..like looking at their faces, hands etc....You wouldn't see it as a sexual object, even the more personal areas, you'd just see it as a body part. I have two sisters but I haven't shared a bedroom with them since before puberty apart from with one for a few months when& I was 16& but that was a disaster because we were too used to our own privacy by that time and our parents ended up having to put my sister in another room in the end because things got so bad with the arguing etc.... I haven't had the same feelings with my sister as you have for yours but then I don't think there is the same closeness between my sister and me as there seems to be between your sister and you. We get along fine but there is always a certain distance going on. Your feelings might not be down to the fact that she is your sister, it might be more down to the fact that she is the only female as close to you as that and the only one where you are likely to see her partially dressed etc.... The general feeling of naughtiness about a woman exposing certain parts of her anatomy can be a turn on for other women, not because they are turned on by the woman, they are turned on by the concept of the woman exposing herself. This happens to me but I am not sexually attracted to women. & | 2006-11-08 09:05:16 |
| 482 | 3151 | Thanks cunis lupes u r being very generous to me to share ur thoughts. i accepted ur description and view. yes i think it is the curisity as those part are not seen commonly. another thing is that when i see her legs or shoulder naked while dress change i loiked to see and also wanted to touch it. is it for same thing too? pls let me know. thanks again friend. | 2006-11-09 03:11:23 |
| 482 | 3156 | Yes, I suppose thats the same too. I know that here in the UK, showing shoulders, legs& and such is common so we don't really react to seeing them& but I& know it's more reserved in India and shoulders/legs aren't on show as much so you are more likely to have more curiosity regarding body parts like that as well. I bet there are many more women just like you living in places as reserved if not more reserved and they'll feel the same things but you'll not know that because they won't speak up about it so that makes you feel like you are alone in your feelings. Even in less reserved places like the UK and USA, people still experience these things because certain body parts are always kept covered up. Curiosity and the need to compare& others& to ones self is bound to kick in when that happens. | 2006-11-09 09:43:26 |
| 482 | 3162 | Dear Canis Lupes, its so nice having replay from u. now i am quite assured. i was so anxious for the last couple of months. may i know a little abt u too? ur explanation really helped me a lot and i liked ur views and thoughts. where from u? where u live and what do u do? whats ur age? can we communicate via email for further attachment if u like? let me know pls | 2006-11-10 00:21:29 |
| 482 | 3163 | Dear lobonibd -- & I'm new to this forum and this is my first post, but I so clearly recall the suffering one can feel when one has a desperate yearning for a person one can never act on. This is a difficult position, especially as you share a room and especially as you don't currently have other outlets for your erotic feelings.& & I share the view of other posters here that you should NEVER talk to your younger sister about this (which could cause emotional difficulties between you two) or try to act on it. I hope you are able to steel yourself against this possibility, and be strong.& & However, I also wanted to add something that I don't think others have shared: you are MOST LIKELY feeling these feelings because you have no other erotic/sexual outlets. I know you live in an intensely conservative culture and it's not like you can go out and make friends with men and find other relationships which might flower into a similar and yet more appropriate desire. Will you be living in this room in your parents' house with your sister until you marry?? Are there other options, like graduate school?? | 2006-11-10 15:22:44 |
| 482 | 3164 | Dear siobhan thanks a lot for ur comment. are u male or female? yes i will ive with my sister in the same room upto my marriage. their is no other way. in this country it is very common. u all give me explanation abt the situation but none give me the solvent. what can i do? as i am getting more and more curious and feelings for my sisters naked places. i cant control myself and i feel very good when i see any of her body part opened. pls help to solve. | 2006-11-11 03:53:52 |
| 482 | 3165 | i have another point to add. i never masterbated. coming in to this site i am finding this thing very common. but i never practiced these. i dont think it is very common in my country. now can any one help me to decide abt my sister problem thing? | 2006-11-11 04:03:38 |
| 482 | 3167 | Hi, You might mention to your sister that you have never seen another woman naked and are curious to know what they look like. If she too is curious then perhaps you can compare bodies, in a non sexual context. From there you can offer to apply body lotion so you can explore each other, again in a non-sexual context. Viewing the images of the female body, as least parts of it, in the Body Image section of the website may help with curiosity some. Your mind and body may be expressing a need for physical intimacy and sex, but she is the only one you are physically close to and intimate with. The following Q&A addresses this subject: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_24.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_24.htm The fact that she is your sister makes it even more taboo, which means the curiosity has a greater physical and emotional affect on you. Brad | 2006-11-11 09:42:48 |
| 482 | 3168 | [user=967]labonibd[/user] wrote: "i have another point to add. i never masterbated. coming in to this site i am finding this thing very common. but i never practiced these. i dont think it is very common in my country. now can any one help me to decide abt my sister problem thing?" It is probably more common than you think.& In cultures where open sexuality is repressed, sex doesn't stop, it's just not talked about. | 2006-11-11 15:27:44 |
| 482 | 3172 | my and her hairs are very long sometime she asks me to shampoo her hair in the bathroom. it is not very uncommon as we do it for each other from our childhood. but as i said now a days when i see her with undergerments which were wet in bathroom while shampooing i get more curious too. When you shampoo your sisters hair perhaps you could be naked allowing her to view your body. Maybe she would comment on your body. If she doesn't I don't think you should comment too much only perhaps saying you feel more comfortable showing and seeing naked bodies for comparison. Do not scare her into talking to your parents. I know of males who have done this in their adolescence, showing each others naked bodies that is. | 2006-11-13 05:52:26 |
| 482 | 3193 | yes i also wear undergarments in front of her while shampooing her but never put off my clothes. thats a good idea to know her view about me. but how can i open my undergarment in front of her? i meant how can i start it? what might i say? what will be a good approach? pls give a good idea that would not make her uncomfortable. | 2006-11-16 23:14:32 |
| 482 | 3197 | One way to start would be to say & 'I'm taking off my undergarments as I find when they get wet they stick to me uncomfortably and I want to feel free' 'I know you won't mind me shampooing your hair this way and we can feel more relaxed and at ease with each other' Talk to her as you always do. Be natural. Make a statement. Tell her why your undressing don't ask her. She will feel comfortable with that and most likely undress too. The other question I have for you is do you ever talk or joke about womans breasts or vulva's either your own or others? Is it common in your culture to see breasts or vulva's or talk about them? If not: How do you know the difference between males and females? Why I ask this is: When I was growing up we never talked about the human body and I believed that the only difference between men and woman was that woman had longer hair. Breasts were part of larger bodies, not necessarily only belonging to woman. (I had never seen a naked breast) I remember taking in a book, Growing Up to my mother and sister, my sister is 10 years older than me, and asking is this a girl? The picture had long hair I thought it was a girl even though it highlighted a boy's penis and scotrum. I must've been about 7 or 8 years old. I now talk about things to anyone at anytime. :-D :cool: | 2006-11-17 04:28:05 |
| 482 | 3252 | Hi labonidbd, I know how conservative cultures work from personal experience. Please be very careful in what you say to your sister, she's still quite young and it is very likely that she could misinterpret what you meant to say and you'll find yourself in a very difficult situation with your family. & First of all it is very normal: I have two sisters and a brother, I've looked at all of them out of curiousity.& My youngest sister and I were even comparing breast size because ,well, she recently developed quite big breasts :).& It's perfectly ok to want to look at other women especially when they're naked. The fact that you want to touch her is very likely because you have no other outlet for your sexual feelings. When I was a young teenager, my family were very strict and it was extremely hard to have a boyfriend, later I had 3 boyfriends without any of them knowing about it... I spent so much time and effort drawing explicit erotica and writing naughty stories, which really helped and gave me alot of pleasure at the time.& Then i spent even more time figuring out how to hide them. Try anything that lets you express those feelings: touch and explore yourself, draw, write, fantasize, make yourself pretty and sexy before you go to bed. Eventually try to give yourself pleasure... Be very careful about what to tell your sister.& Talk to her about what she imagines marriage will be like, if she likes men, what she likes about men (physical and character wise), what she thinks men like... I escaped my conservative family through graduate school... came to Europe to study -which I did- but secretly I also wanted to be sexually free without having to marry.(no more secret boyfriends and careful planning where to hide so we can fool around) | 2006-11-25 03:30:46 |
| 482 | 3253 | thanks kay for ur nice reply but i didnt understand what do u mean by touch and explore myself? will u pls describe me a bit so that i can understand? thanks in advance. | 2006-11-25 08:16:34 |
| 482 | 3255 | Hi, Please see the information about masturbation on the main website: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/mast_indx.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/mast_indx.htm Brad | 2006-11-25 09:34:21 |
| 485 | 3171 | Can anyone explain to me what delayed gratification orgasms are? | 2006-11-12 18:50:17 |
| 485 | 3177 | Hi, I found the following when I did a web search on the subject. It came from a website that no longer exists. While I see mention of it on several websites I don't see much information available. I believe it is taught as part of Tantric sexual practices, but perhaps under a different label. Basically, a slow build up to orgasm results in a stronger orgasm, or maybe multiple orgasms. Don't go for the quick orgasm but spend hours teasing and staying aroused. Someone trying to reinvent the wheel using fancy words. Brad Have Your Greatest Orgasm - Ever! Multiple Orgasms! You've heard of them, probably. Wondered about them, maybe. Attempted them, never -- most likely. And why not? If you can have one successful orgasm, you can have two or three or more. In fact, even if you have never been able to satisfactorily negotiate a single, you can still learn to have multiples. In terms of orgasms, more is definitely better. Here's why. A single orgasm is usually reached in a matter of seconds or minutes, leaving little time for attending to the individual needs and fantasies of the partners involved. Multiple orgasms, by contrast, build slowly, allowing them to address a myriad of individual desires. A single orgasm, riding the wave of naturally released sleep hormones, depletes a man's energy and sends him straight into slumber mode. In multiple orgasms, the longer they last, the stronger the payoff, yet they still manage to re-energize mind, body and soul, allowing for more effective after-play and intimacy. A single orgasm is known to come in a variety of intensities, from a mere fizzle to a firestorm. Multiples produce firestorms as a minimum and build up significantly from there. A single orgasm leaves a man languishing for hours or even days, depending on age and state of health. With a multiple, he can be up and ready for an encore immediately thereafter. A single orgasm is a nice thing to have when time is an issue or there are no alternatives, which clearly there are. Why so few choose to talk about it, let alone investigate, is puzzling. Is it so intimidating to the nature of the solution-seeking male that just because a task can be accomplished in a matter of seconds doesn't mean it ought to be? Let's dispel the myths of irrational thinking right now with a few simple rules based on a deeply cherished secret. Follow them, practice them, and believe in them, and the greatest mind-blowing orgasms will become a permanent part of your vastly more glorious universe. [list=1] Know your body. Become intimately acquainted with those regions of flesh and sinew that awaken you sexually. Manipulate them with your hands, your mind, anything comforting that gives you joy. Breathe slowly, rhythmically, taking in pure pleasure, letting go of stress [img] www.provocative.com.au/adsense/record.php?rep=v&transport=img[/img] and inhibition. The more you practice delayed gratification, the more effectively you resist the short-term indulgence of single orgasms for the long-term ecstasy of multiples. The PC (pubococcygeal) muscle offers you the double advantage of delaying orgasm and heightening pleasure. The stronger it becomes the greater satisfaction you will derive from your orgasms. Flex your PC four times a day, 20 to 30 times each, and increase gradually, Test it whenever you have an urgency to urinate, since this multi-talented muscle controls that bodily function, as well. Explore those stimuli around you that cause you to become aroused, excited, and ultimately engaged in an advance toward orgasm. Once you have learned how to postpone ejaculation, you are ready to share your secrets with your partner. Introduce techniques gradually, postponing climax to accommodate your mutual needs and desires, while extending your enjoyment indefinitely. It cannot be stressed enough that the only way to become an expert at anything is to practice. Fortunately, the practice of sexual skills is more pleasure than pressure, so there's no reason to resist homework. Indulge yourself regularly, knowing you are going to derive the full benefits of your labor. And so will the object of your desire. You now have an obvious choice. Carry on with the sexual lifestyle you've been practicing till now, or proceed to the one about which you only dared dream -- and which offers the potential to take you places you never knew existed. Jane L. Jarvis and R. G. Edgar are co-authors of the NEW Multiple Orgasms for Men. Find out how some men are enjoying the most mind-blowing orgasms of their lives, and how you can do the same! Click Here Now! [url=www.multipleorgasmsformen.com/] www.multipleorgasmsformen.com. ** Attn: Ezine/Site owners ** Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your site as long as you leave all links in place, do not modify the content and include our resource box as listed above. | 2006-11-14 09:08:12 |
| 487 | 3199 | Hello, I'm new to the forum and wa slooking for some advice is the masturbation department. I haven't bought a vibrator or dildo yet, but have been pleasing myself with my fingers and such, but was looking for any recommendations on a good vibe or dildo or anythign else that would be good for penetration. Thanks. | 2006-11-18 23:25:56 |
| 487 | 3200 | hello saraphina, i like to suggest that if u haven`t had a chance to buy a plastic toy. u can use small cucumber, just put it in the microwave for about 30 senconds and then use it. i`m sure you will find it very satisfactory. ps jack& | 2006-11-19 07:36:47 |
| 487 | 3205 | Um... thats not always a good idea.& If you have to use food make sure you wrap it in plastic wrap or something.& And infection could be a very bad thing. | 2006-11-19 15:54:36 |
| 487 | 3206 | Some women in the vag group use vegetables as dilators because dilators don't come cheap and many women can't afford them. They just put condoms on them. | 2006-11-19 16:19:04 |
| 487 | 3208 | Hi, It is more the chemicals that you have to worry about. Be sure to wash them real well. The condom isn't a bad idea. It is a good idea to test anything you will insert into your vagina with your lips first, to ensure there are no sharp or rough areas that may hurt you; your vagina may not be as sensitive as you lips. You can't get an infection from a vegetable, but many water based lubricants have glycerin in them, a sugar. This may cause a yeast infection to develop, as sugar is food to them. A friend told me she found olive oil to work very well and not cause infections. There is little available for women with vaginismus to use. Since by nature it is a "medical" device it costs an arm and a leg. Many are offended because they must rely on "sex toys." Brad | 2006-11-20 21:21:41 |
| 487 | 3211 | Another thing that many of the vag women use is tapered candles with condoms on them. I forgot to mention that when they use veggies, they often carve them down a little to reduce the girth depending on what girth they are after. Even non vag women can find these techniques useful& I suppose.:) I agree that things just cost a lot simply because they are medical devices. For people with not much money, this isn't much use at all. I was lucky I was able to afford a set of dilators. | 2006-11-21 09:21:35 |
| 487 | 3213 | I've used a candle before.& It actually was quite pleasurable.& On thing about candles is from the warmth of your body, the candle will mold so your innerself. :) | 2006-11-21 13:46:54 |
| 487 | 3215 | one thing about candles and vegetables and similar things used as toys.& not only should you use a condom to protect from any excessive abrasiveness, but candles and vegetables can snap if you are too forceful, so a condom is a good safeguard incase you use something a bit more fragile and it will keep little fragments of wax or food from getting stuff inside you. | 2006-11-21 14:13:59 |
| 487 | 3216 | i`m not trying to be funny in anyway. but"breaking a CUCUMBER inside?" that would be a little forceful. just make sure its not too ripe | 2006-11-21 16:52:54 |
| 487 | 3217 | people like stimulation all kinds of ways, and that includes rough. | 2006-11-21 17:25:58 |
| 487 | 3218 | [user=1003]millerlite457[/user] wrote: "i`m not trying to be funny in anyway. but"breaking a CUCUMBER inside?" that would be a little forceful. just make sure its not too ripe"Hey, it could happen ;) | 2006-11-21 23:03:08 |
| 487 | 3219 | & I once was watching porn with my roomie because we both were having a crappy day, so why not break out the porno and eat ice cream? So we found a vid. and it was kinda interesting. One of the women started masturbating with a banana, nothing on it but the peel... later to our disgust she ate it along with the other girl. | 2006-11-21 23:04:42 |
| 487 | 3221 | Olive oil – reminds me when my G/F & I first had IC. She said “I’m too ‘dry’ use olive oilâ€& & *-:) So I applied olive oil to the opening of the vagina, only a few drops, It was sexually stimulating for both of us, my G/F was excited when I had fully wetted olive oil finger and lubricated around the labia and softly, touched her clitoris, giving strong sensual arousal. :-X & I became aroused from the actions with a very strong erect penis. I then fully coated my penis in olive oil which made entry very smooth. & Both penis and vagina needed lubricating to be fully effective, lubrication of one without the other not as effective in making smooth entry. :-)) & As a result of very smooth entry I was able to learn how not to have pre-ejaculation and learned the skills of maintaining my semen for a longer more effective, stimulating IC. :-D & This method we both found very satisfactory. & I can see the benefit of lubricating a condom covered carrot with olive oil, condom use to smooth out the course texture of a carrot. I don’t think people need to be frightened by the hypothetical breakage of vegetable in the vagina from over forcing. The same could be said about the breakage of a very erect penis from forcing in a sensuous vagina. :-/ & Maybe it can happen but the question was asked how to enjoy masturbation for new comers who are not going to be overly excited to start with. :cool: | 2006-11-22 05:43:47 |
| 487 | 3225 | Hi, I just want to caution every one that any type of "oil" with cause latex condoms to degernerate quickly. So olive oil is okay for masturbation and when condoms are protecting sex toys but not when condoms are being used for birth control or to prevent the transmission of body fluids. When the girl, mentioned above, told me about using olive oil I cautioned her that it could cause condoms to fail, as I know she uses this form of birth control, she was a little hesitant to admit she was alone when she was using it. :P Brad | 2006-11-22 22:16:58 |
| 487 | 3226 | Well Ladybug, If pussy is good enough for a guy or girl to eat why not eat the evidence. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] Brad | 2006-11-22 22:19:08 |
| 487 | 3227 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "& I once was watching porn with my roomie because we both were having a crappy day, so why not break out the porno and eat ice cream? So we found a vid. and it was kinda interesting. One of the women started masturbating with a banana, nothing on it but the peel... later to our disgust she ate it along with the other girl. " would you make out with your BF after he went down on you?& cause it's not really any different. | 2006-11-23 01:46:53 |
| 487 | 3250 | I've built a small collection of sex toys (plugs dildos cuffs :dude:) but the one I love the most is the first one I bought, the Magic Wand.& It's sold as a massager and looks pretty big and scary but it does amazing things to my clit and can go on for a long time :D.& Try a vibrator with porn (anything that appeals to you)... In comparison to vibrators I find dildos a bit boring. I am curious though about how the candle molds itself to the vagina... sounds interesting. | 2006-11-25 03:03:09 |
| 487 | 3251 | I think by "molds to your insides" she means that after a while the wax warms up which would make it a bit softer and more flexible (and then a bit more fleshlike).& I suppose you could go so far as to soak the candle in some warm water to soften it up before hand.& I don't think you'd want to do that with too thin of a candle though, lest it fall apart. Of course, I'm not a mind reader, so I could totally be mistaken about what she meant. | 2006-11-25 03:30:00 |
| 487 | 3254 | I'm thinking she meant the same thing. I can't imagine anything else she could've meant. I've not heard the women I know& who've used candles mention this attribute mind. | 2006-11-25 08:31:38 |
| 487 | 3258 | Hi, The Hitachi Magic Wand is our best seller. More expensive than many battery powered ones, but well worth it. They can last 10 years, were as the inexpensive batteries ones may not last a month. They are poweful, but you can use a folded towel or use them over your cloths to soften the vibrations. I include one in the store logo I created a long time ago, and finally added to the store today. :? Brad | 2006-11-25 10:01:10 |
| 487 | 3270 | dfs, I have.& But at the moment I was watching it, I was grossed out.& But now that I have thought about it, it's not... Also, about the candle... what I meant by molding is that it gets soft and forms to the curve of your vagina.& As Dfs advised, using a very skinny candle wouldn't be the best because it could break and you'd have to get a doctor to remove the candle. :shock: | 2006-11-26 16:48:19 |
| 487 | 3275 | Well, the wick would hold most of it together actually. There would likely only be some small wax fragments.& I doubt you'd have to see a doctor for it, but it would be a serious buzzkill to have to stop just before you came to have to rinse out some chips of wax.& | 2006-11-27 05:21:02 |
| 487 | 3276 | I still don't think it would be a good idea to use it without at least covering it with a condom or plasic wrap. | 2006-11-27 10:56:31 |
| 487 | 3278 | Hi Brad, I love the princess image with the magic wand LOL.& I think I will use it as desktop wall paper for a while :) That wand is worth every cent I paid.& The piece of cloth is a sound idea as it can be too intense if applied directly... one can cum too quickly... As to the candle, I figured out it is best to place it in a condom (didn't try it).& I was curious if it feels soft inside... if one can squeeze on it.. | 2006-11-27 12:28:46 |
| 487 | 3316 | Hi Kay, Here is a copy of the full size image. ;) Brad | 2006-11-28 11:02:37 |
| 487 | 3372 | & Brad, I was a little surprised by your general caution against using olive oil to lubricate a condom. My understanding, as cautioned by condom manufacturers, is that condom users must never apply a petroleum based lubricant to them, e.g. vaseline, machine oil, et al, but should always use, if necessary, a vegetable based lubricant such as olive oil, canola, peanut oil, and so on. From whom did you receive the caution against the use of any vegetable based lubricant for birth control purposes? | 2006-12-08 18:52:56 |
| 487 | 3375 | Hi, Here are links to some references: www.epigee.org/guide/condomuse.html www.infoforhealth.org/pr/j44/j44chap11_c.shtml www.walnet.org/csis/groups/swav/healthcards/oileats.html www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/askthesiteqandas/sexualhealthqandas/oilissues www.aidshealth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=921&Itemid=346 Brad | 2006-12-09 06:59:54 |
| 487 | 3376 | & Thanks, Brad. Now there is no confusion. We may now take it that vegie oils are OK for lubrication as long as no latex is likely to be involved. Actually my SO and I use water based lubricants which also warm the area. Safe and fun. | 2006-12-09 22:57:10 |
| 487 | 3379 | Hi, Women react differently to the different types of lubricants. Some may be allergic to the additives. Others may be more prone to yeast infections when they use a particular type, like those containing glycerin, as glycerin is a sugar that the yeast fungus can digest. As mentioned prior, my friend uses olive oil during masturbation because she is more prone to yeast infections with other types of lubes. I have also seen a doctor argue it was possibly okay for women to use petroleum based lubricants inside the vagina, as again, personal experiences vary. The use of a petroleum based lube increases the risk of vaginal infection but does not guarantee it. I don't know if anyone has done a study to compare the risks associated with the use of the different types of lubricants. Latex degrades quickly when it comes in contact with any oil or petroleum based product, AND fail more frequently when there is insufficient lubrication. Based on what I have read, they recommend couples use latex condoms unless there is a latex allergy, as non-latex prevent pregnancy but they have not been proven, yet, to prevent disease transmission. If you only use them to prevent pregnancy and are already fluid bonded, i.e. have exchanged body fluids, then the non-latex are okay to use. Brad | 2006-12-10 12:39:09 |
| 487 | 3387 | Your post totally made me understand my problem. I have been getting those darn yeast infections and I didn't really know why.& I always clean myself after masturbating and having sex, but to no avail I get one. :( 4 times this year.& I think I better stop using astroglide and get something that will help me more rather than work against my body. | 2006-12-12 09:11:19 |
| 487 | 3390 | *shivers* the thought of using a petroleum based lubricant makes me shutter.& I'm allergic to petroleum.& I can't even use petroleum based lip balm. kit | 2006-12-12 23:57:48 |
| 488 | 3222 | Hi, I'm a 19 year old girl and just became sexually active a few weeks ago with my first serious boyfriend. My first time was suitably difficult, as I expected, but ok. My problem is I'm worried it's not physically possible for me to become sexually aroused in any way. I've always had confidence issues when it comes to my body, and have never masturbated because I feel...embarassed.& But the few times I have tried, I can't feel anything. I can't seem to feel anything when I touch or rub my clitoris, my nipples are virtually dead - I can't feel a thing when they are fondled etc. When my boyfriend speaks to me erotically or I think of sexual scenarios I get what I suppose are sharp 'butterfly' pangs in my stomach, and very occasionally feel some sort of tingling in my vaginal area, but other than that I can't seem to become aroused.& I don't understand this& as I do fancy my boyfriend. And he seems to find it so easy to become aroused. Is there something wrong with me? Is it possible that I simply am not a sexual person? Or could it be because I have never had sexual experiences before and have always felt a bit embarassed by the thought? Could it be linked with psychological insecurities? I'm really confused, someone please help. I don't want to feel nothing when I'm with my boyfriend, I don't want either of us to be dissatisfied. Is it possible for a woman to be completely unable to become sexually aroused? If so, can it be fixed? What should& I do? & | 2006-11-22 17:16:30 |
| 488 | 3223 | it absolutely can be a result of insecurity.& there is more to sexuality than just physical stimulation.& without the psychological aspect of it you will never enjoy sexual experience.& Fear, insecurity, guilt, and other emotions can deaden your sexuality in an instant. If you have body image issues or other kinds of insecurities, you can work on these pretty easily.& Talk with your boyfriend about your concerns.& Just remember that EVERYONE has flaws.& You don't have to be perfect to love yourself or to be loved by someone else.& You can love yourself in spite of your flaws.& If your boyfriend thinks you're beautiful, that's a good starting point for building confidence.& If you think you have flaws, but he doesn't think they are flaws or doesn't know about them, that's less for you to worry about.& Also realize that he has flaws that he is probably self conscious about, but that you overlook or don't see as flaws.& Again, nobody is perfect, but there is someone out there that is attracted to every kind of person imaginable. If you have guilt or nervousness about sex due to your upbringing, this can cause problems as well.& The only real solution is to change the way you think about it.& There is no real method for doing this, you just have to make an honest decision in your mind that you don't find anything shameful or guilt-causing in sex.& Whether you rationalize it or just make a change of heart through force of will, it has to be from you and it has to be honest.& You can't try to fool yourself and you definitely can't change your mind for the benefit of someone else.& If you feel guilty about not having pleasure from sex because you feel you owe it to your boyfriend or something, that's absolutely the wrong way to go about it.& You are the only one that can experience your sexual pleasure, and it belongs only to you at your discretion.& You enjoy sex on your own terms and for nobody else but yourself.& You are not obligated to enjoy sex for your partner's pride or ego and you should never feel pressure to have certain feelings from sexual experience.& It seems hard, but its really only about making a choice. | 2006-11-22 17:45:29 |
| 488 | 3228 | Your psychological issues about your body image and feeling comfortable with sexuality are probably what is stopping you from becoming aroused as mentioned above. I don't believe anybody is asexual really. They just suffer from sexual arousal disorder, some to the point where they don't even feel physical attraction and have sexual aversion and it's because of psychological issues, it isn't the way they are meant to be...I don't think it is anyway. Maybe you can seek help to improve your self image and learn to start loving your body. I'm sure arousal will start to come naturally when you start feeling more comfortable with your body and sexuality. | 2006-11-23 10:24:17 |
| 488 | 3440 | Well I had this problem. What was awful I couldn’t say my husband about it and had to fake activeness and orgasms!!! I don’t want to give you any advices because I’m not a doctor but I can say that I have solved this problem with the help of special supplement for women called Sentia (may be there are other supplements, I don’t know). After about a month of taking this supplement I began feeling that I WANTED sex and then I had my first orgasm. I also want to ask you: may be you are afraid of doing something wrong? May be sex is "too much" for you now? When your bf begins to fondle you and you don’t feel anything ask him to wait, say him that you are not ready. If he is your "serious" bf he MUST understand you. | 2006-12-22 18:58:33 |
| 488 | 6567 | If you are only 19, you could wait 1 or more years. If your boyfriend can't wait, apologize to him and drop him. You need to spend very private time discovering yourself. With your fingers. With a hand mirror. Day dreaming. Look for safe softcore pictures of naked of men or women, whatever suits you. Daydream. Take your time. | 2009-04-06 01:38:43 |
| 490 | 3232 | Hi, & I am a virgin, 23 and I wanted to start masturbation.& Used a wet twirled towel on a pillow which felt wonderful so I bouth a rabbit vibrator.& But I can't get the thing into my vagina, I am so scared I will never be able to have sex as I can't fit it in!& Please don't laugh.& I did use the bunny ears on my clit and I came all over the bed, wow it felt good.& But I would really like it inside me, please help. :(:?:? | 2006-11-24 13:40:16 |
| 490 | 3233 | You didn't try to insert it immediately did you? I find I need to be quite aroused before I can insert anything into my vagina. | 2006-11-24 13:43:01 |
| 490 | 3235 | No was aroused as I could get and used loads of water based lube too | 2006-11-24 13:52:13 |
| 490 | 3236 | Well, sounds like you might just need to try something smaller first. | 2006-11-24 13:59:27 |
| 490 | 3245 | well, you're a virgin, and I will assume you don't use penetration for masturbation in normal cases.& if it's true that you don't use penetration while masturbating, or if you do but you only use something small like a pen or your finger, then this is your problem, especially since you have just started masturbating. the vagina needs training, so to speak.& you can't just go sticking large objects inside it unless its accustomed to such things, not even if you're fully aroused.& you need to be patient and work it in.& make sure you start with something small like your finger, or if you have long nails, then something about the same size as your finger.& as your body gets accustomed to that, you can start trying slightly larger objects, or more objects of the same small size.& just be patient until you train your body to accept the size of the rabbit. | 2006-11-24 18:56:13 |
| 490 | 3246 | Hi, Those Rabbit Ears work wonders for a lot of women. :D You might want to read the article linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm Brad | 2006-11-24 20:25:35 |
| 490 | 3371 | Thank you I have had a fairly thick carrot up there before sounds funny!& So the rabbit isn't that much bigger, but yes the ears are very good! | 2006-12-08 15:45:43 |
| 490 | 3374 | Ooo I've heard about the rabbit and I've always wanted to try it out. | 2006-12-08 23:40:31 |
| 491 | 3241 | When making love with my wife (who is recovering from Vagismus) my usual foreplay is fantasy talk exchanging mutul admiration and also touching and caressing her all over (except the vulva) .& After a while& we things heat up ( and she applies some almond oil& to help nature along) I might touch her& clitoris and kiss her neck which gives her goose bumps.& I am still unsure the best way (although I read the other day on this forum and also from my wife) to not go directly onto the "little pea" as it too sensitive.& I want to feel surer with what I do so I am looking for any tips on how to use my mouth and hands to give more pleasure.& & You suggestions might be a conversation starter with my wife... | 2006-11-24 16:23:10 |
| 491 | 3242 | The best person to give you answers is, of course, your wife. We all respond differently to things so what works for me might not work for her etc.. etc.. Anyway, I'm also too sensitive on the glans ( little pea). Fortunately, my hood sort of covers it most of the time, even when fully aroused, so it's not a big problem. I have to pull the hood back to see it. Stimulating through the hood is the best thing for me so maybe do that on your wife rather than touching the glans directly. This is common for a lot of women. Nothing unusual. I also find that using something with a small surface area like a single finger tip is not much use on me. Something with a larger surface area is better because it doesn't press in at one point with too much pressure and it provides equal pressure over a larger area. A soft toy works well, lol. It's also a reason many women like to hump pillows, I imagine. Also, with fingers, they get too slimey and smooth with the love juices, another reason they don't do so well on me. Something that retains a small amount of friction despite the lubrication is much better. Also, do some teasing where you move around the whole vulva and just give the clit a quick passing over here and there whilst your doing it. It sort of helps with the build up but postpones orgasm until the clit gets more constant stimulation. When things are at boiling point, you can then move in and help her to explode...lolol. I don't know about your wife because, this too, varies greatly, but I am very sensitive on my nipples as well although& I don't get great sensations from my fingers so I use a soft toy which feels a lot better. My right one is most sensitive for some reason so I start on my left then move over to the right after a while. This alone is enough to get me to boiling point. If I do it long enough and I'm horny enough,& I can orgasm within seconds of moving to the clitoris. I know what she means about the goosebumps on the neck thing. If I get light touches on the base of my skull behind my ears, I get funny sensations going all down my spine and it makes me squirm, haha. Anyway, just experiment with your wife and get her to tell you whats great and what isn't because she'll be unique to herself. When people have multiple partners, they have to learn all over again with each one. If they think they know it all, they obviously know not much at all. Another less obvious place is feet, haha. I love mine lightly stroked although many people are too ticklish to have their feet touched. You read all over how nerves in the feet are connected to so many different parts of the body so it's worth experimenting on. I also like the palms of my hands lightly stroking and the underside of my arms. In fact, light stroking the underside of my arms, running the finger tips and nails& up and down them slowly,& produces such an intense feeling that& I can only tolerate for so long. Hope some of these ideas help. | 2006-11-24 17:24:10 |
| 491 | 3272 | Thanks Canis Lupess As usual you have very good information which I appeciate.& Last night was my first opportunity to try a couple of things.& I went softly softly as its always an issue with someone coming from an abuse background as to how they respond.& & In other words I dont want to be too pushy and loose the trust.& Yes it seems she can be that sensitive. Frustrating sometimes. | 2006-11-26 20:58:32 |
| 493 | 3273 | I've had a bit of an epiphany, I think. Yesterday I had my first date with this guy I've liked for a while, and it happened again: I became suddenly disinterested. This seems to happen a lot, no matter if the guy's my age or a little older. I thought over the possibility of being lesbian, but have come to the conclusion that that's impossible: I'm very into men. So, I was in my parents car (I'm still in high school), going to a play, and it dawned on me: maybe it's not just that I like older guys (like a year ahead of me in school, which is what seems to happen often). Maybe I like older guys (like ten years older than me). I talked to my best friend about it and she thinks I'm being very picky, but what if it's true? Guys around my age never satisfy me. Most of the guys I go out with aren't very experienced with relationships, either, and the problem is (and I'm not trying to be conceited, just ask my friends, it's true), if I want a guy, he will eventually ask me out, because I'm too flirty for my own good (and all my girl friends notice...and my mother...and my sister). And then I dump him and feel guilty, but there's nothing I can do. I have fleeting interests, and when I've gotten what I wanted, which is probably attention and "feeling special," I'm done. It sounds harsh, but that's the brutal truth of it. Thinking about it, they all seem very dull. I feel like I need an intelligent conversation, one where I'm not leading it, for the most part, and where it's not solely about school, food, or the store across the street. So I don't know what to do. I'm starting to get afraid to date, because I know now that I'll just do the same things I've done before, no matter how hard I try. Now I'm wondering: 1) should I wait until I'm older and it's actually legal to date much older men? or 2) should I just keep going as I have been and not worry so much, just to see if something changes? Gosh, I'm so messed up... : ) And way too analytical. Heheh, sorry. Thanks for reading this long rant. If you can, help, please. : ) | 2006-11-27 00:29:34 |
| 493 | 3274 | well, first off I'll clarify that it's legal for you to date anyone you want regardless of age so long as you aren't having sex with them while you're a minor. now, at the risk of sounding like a parent (I'm not, but I'll sound like one anyway), you are still in high school.& I know every kid in high school thinks they know what they want (I did when I was in high school), but you still have more to learn about life.& Your interests are supposed to be fleeting at your age.& I promise you that your priorities will change a lot through the next several years as you complete high school and then go through college. Don't worry about everything right now.& You have plenty of time to make those decisions. Although one word of warning: the kind of guy who would date a girl 10 years younger than him and still in high school is exactly the kind of guy you should avoid.& To your eyes, dating an older man, he seems more mature to you in comparison to a high school aged boy.& However, as a 26 year old guy, I will promise you that a man my age who is interested in a girl still in high school is anything but mature.& You may be precocious, but you don't have the life experience that a truly mature twenty-something looks for.& I don't mean that as a knock against you or to diminish you for "being a kid".& What I'm saying is that a twenty-something male who is immature enough to prefer high school aged girls probably has the same values as a high school aged boy.& | 2006-11-27 01:12:35 |
| 493 | 3277 | I have to agree there too. I'm a 27 year old female and I also agree that your priorities and view on life will change a hell of a lot over the next few years. Teenagers tend to think they know everything but, trust me, you'll not be thinking that a few years down the line. Being a teenager is still fresh in my mind but, hell, does it make me cringe!...and I was an angel compared to many. Have you considered that your fleeting interest might be down to the simple old fact that you just aren't ready for all this dating and relationship& lark yet? Maybe your head is trying to tell you something. I think that you use the attention you do get to feel better about yourself. Maybe you don't feel as great about yourself as you could otherwise and rely too much on this type of attention to convince yourself that you attract people. In the end, relying on this type of attention will get you nowhere and will probably break a lot of hearts and get you a bad reputation too. After the initial excitment of luring them in is over, you aren't interested anymore because the novelty has worn off and the effect the whole thing has on your self-esteem also wears off so they become useless to you. Also, I think that part of it is what I mentioned before. Attracting the guys and getting them to ask you out is one thing but maintaining a relationhip with them in something else entirely. Something you may not be ready for whether you think you are or not. As you are in high school, why not just concentrate on your studies so that you have good prospects later and also spending time with your usual friends and just enjoy yourself? If you are a happy kind person who others simply like to hang around, thats all you need to ask for. There is no need to crave this extra attention from men to make yourself feel of some worth. When you are ready for a relationship,& I think it will just happen naturally one day. You'll meet a guy and you'll feel differently about him than anybody else and you'll not tire of him. If you aren't really into a person, whether you're male or female, they are always going to appear boring where a relationship is concerned. It's like your minds way of getting you to abandon the bad job, your bad job,& so to speak. I know that there is often pressure to have a BF or GF depending on what gender you are etc... but why always adere to these stupid stipulations that society or your peers come out with. Stipulations that have no substance behind them other than to avoid having comments made about the fact that you never seem to date. Do your own thing and don't be bound by others. Be your own person and people will respect you more than if you continuously try to comform to all these ridiculous ideals. | 2006-11-27 11:06:47 |
| 493 | 3283 | I guess I should clarify something. I have had a long-term, good relationship before. At least one. But, for the most part, this is what happens. Also, I suppose I should tell you that I already have my entire life planned out...that's how I am. I know what colleges I want to apply to, what major I want, what I want to do as a career; the only "B" I got on my report card was 1.1% away from an "A," and that was in an Advanced Placement course (potentially for college credit). I'm an overachiever, and I hang out with my friends all the time. So I have few problems (who could say "no problems"?) in the school/friends area. I'm very stable and usually very self confident. I know I don't know everything, but that's what I mean: I need someone who can provide me with mental stimulation; someone who might be more intelligent or knowledgable than me, but preferably able to make interesting conversation. All the guys I date seem so young. Then again, part of what you've said may be right. I get turned off when things get too mushy, but I don't think that's because I'm too naive; far from that. When people first meet me, they think I'm cute and innocent, but I've been told that once they get to know me better, they might think I'm cute, but I'm definitely not some little girl. I've never liked "mushy" affection, ever, from family or boys. (Friends I don't mind.) The problem is, I'm a writer, so I make up stories even about myself and expect things to turn out that way; yes, I like him, maybe we'll be high school sweethearts and get married and have kids...I guess a normal girly teenage& thing to do, but I think I get more wrapped up in it than most, and then when I get close to a potential boyfriend, and they get "clingy," I skip away. Of course, I feel guilty, and my mother thinks there's something wrong with me, but it's really irritating and sad. | 2006-11-27 14:46:07 |
| 493 | 3284 | I think you have bought your overachieving self to your thinking about B/Fs.& Go easy on yourself you have a lot of life to live and there is no hurry.& Dont try to control these sort of things (which is tempting to do if you are feeling lousy) You have mentioned your mum and your sister.& Do you have a father and what is relationship like with him?& & | 2006-11-27 15:31:31 |
| 493 | 3285 | Jessee - Yes, I have a father; he's more protective of me than my mother, and I don't really talk to him in depth about guys. He knows what's going on with me, but I wouldn't talk to him about what I've expressed on this forum. | 2006-11-27 15:50:18 |
| 493 | 3287 | [user=419]avenuesthroughgreenmountains[/user] wrote: "I guess I should clarify something. I have had a long-term, good relationship before. At least one. But, for the most part, this is what happens. Also, I suppose I should tell you that I already have my entire life planned out...that's how I am. I know what colleges I want to apply to, what major I want, what I want to do as a career; the only "B" I got on my report card was 1.1% away from an "A," and that was in an Advanced Placement course (potentially for college credit). I'm an overachiever, and I hang out with my friends all the time. So I have few problems (who could say "no problems"?) in the school/friends area. I'm very stable and usually very self confident. I know I don't know everything, but that's what I mean: I need someone who can provide me with mental stimulation; someone who might be more intelligent or knowledgable than me, but preferably able to make interesting conversation. All the guys I date seem so young. " I can totally identify with you, honestly.& I wasn't an A student (although I was generally an A test-taker, I was headstrong and often didn't do work that I felt was a waste of time), but I also had my life planned out.& I was going to be an architect (I took classes in the subject for three years), I knew where I was gonna live and what my house would look like and all that stuff.& As I went through college my interests changed.& I changed my major probably four times when I was in college (from architecture to psychology, then to films studies, then to English, and finally to computer science).& Even the micro-managers like yourself who I went to high school with have mostly changed their plans as life unfolded.& Your tastes will change with time, maybe to a greater or lesser degree, but they will change.& That's just life. Aside from that, I also share your sentiment towards members of the opposite sex.& I've had a few relationships, but by and large I find people incredibly boring and simple.& I hate to tell you, but age doesn't endow people with the gift of intelligence.& The people I knew in high school that I thought were boring are still just as boring today as they were then, it's just that their daily routine has changed.& Interesting and intelligent people are, plainly and simply, few and far between.& Looking to older men won't solve your problem, it will just provide you with a different one.& The only option available to you is patience.& " Then again, part of what you've said may be right. I get turned off when things get too mushy, but I don't think that's because I'm too naive; far from that. When people first meet me, they think I'm cute and innocent, but I've been told that once they get to know me better, they might think I'm cute, but I'm definitely not some little girl. I've never liked "mushy" affection, ever, from family or boys. (Friends I don't mind.) The problem is, I'm a writer, so I make up stories even about myself and expect things to turn out that way; yes, I like him, maybe we'll be high school sweethearts and get married and have kids...I guess a normal girly teenage& thing to do, but I think I get more wrapped up in it than most, and then when I get close to a potential boyfriend, and they get "clingy," I skip away. Of course, I feel guilty, and my mother thinks there's something wrong with me, but it's really irritating and sad. " Yes, you are naive, but naivete simply comes with being the age that you are. There isn't a teenager in the world that doesn't think they aren't naive, but every single one of them is, and every single one of them realizes how naive they were when they finally grow up.& Something I learned about myself over the years is that intelligence and wisdom are two separate things.& I've always been bright, but wisdom can only come from experience.& | 2006-11-27 16:12:17 |
| 493 | 3290 | Exactly. Also, I had the same thing happen with my ex. He didn't have lots of hobbies like myself and& I found him too boring and too clingy. The only thing he liked to do was watch films really. I hardly watch films myself, only the odd one here and there. I hardly watch TV either. Most of the stuff on is a load of rubbish, reality TV shows and stuff full of complete idiots who were obviously absent when the brains were handed out. Academically, I did really well in stuff that interested me but couldn't muster the enthusiasm to put any effort into something that bored me so I was top in some subjects but average in others. I had a mind of my own and wanted to learn the things I wanted rather than the things the system wanted me to learn. I'd study stuff at home that wasn't in the curriculum and then I'd even be correcting the teachers about those things when& they& said stuff wrong...lolol.:D I also desire an intelligent and stimulating guy but also one who is understanding and sensitive because of the condition that I have which only sensitive and understanding& "men" can cope with. In my spare time, I do art (commissioned pet portraits that& I've been doing since I was about 13& and wildlife art), photography, collecting and growing cacti and started my own hybridization programme of a certain genus of cactus that has large showy flowers, I train in martial arts, I play music and compose all my own tunes and have done since I was 10& when I& got my very first keyboard& and I also have dogs who I enjoy training although my current two are old ladies now but I'll resume with the more exciting stuff when they've gone and I get a couple more to replace them. I also have an interest in atmosphere and weather, geology, animal behaviour and psychology, anything like that. There are things I am very strongly opinionated about and can be very argumentative. Obviously, finding a partner who has any interests other than watching the footie and going out every weekend getting slaughtered is very hard in this day and age. Finding female friends who are anything more than totally boring is also hard. Most women my age now are mothers and just totally revolve around the children and don't really do anything else or they just work through the week and go out at the weekend. Nothing exciting. Also, I couldn't be doing with a guy who spent half his life sitting playing on computer games. I think thats totally sad. In the end, you might just have to wait a bit longer until somebody more stimulating comes along and avoid dating just for the hell of it otherwise this will just keep happening. I also agree that age has nothing to do with how interesting a person is. In fact, a person can be interesting in their own right but if their interests and views aren't compatible with yours, you might not get along with them very well and even find them boring in your own view. e.g, trainspotting might be the hot topic for some people but totally mundane for others. I doubt everyone would find my cactus collecting hobby to be of much interest. I know it isn't something that interests most people my age and I've been collecting them since I was 15. I also have an interest in clouds and cloud formations etc...you can imagine how boring many other people would find this to be....:D I hear the lads talking about their xbox360 games at work and what levels they are on and what players they bought in their footie manager games and all that and it's totally boring in my eyes but it's the tops for them. Also, if a guy didn't like dogs.....he wouldn't stand a chance with me because I'll not live without dogs in my life. As for having your life planned out....Haha, don't we all at your age. If your life actually turns out the way you see it now, it will be a complete miracle. I'm not just speaking from personal experience, I'm also speaking from the experience of seeing how things have happened for countless other& people I know during the same part of their life, be they the same age as me, older, younger....I see it happening all the time. & | 2006-11-27 17:00:09 |
| 493 | 3291 | *whistles* I must come off as really stupid to you people. When I read what you all have written, I feel, "I know this stuff. Why did I have to go wasting everybody's time with it?" Maybe it's the way I think, but I've always "gotten it." I mingle very well with adults because I am knowledgeable or am able to express opinions about what is being discussed, but I also absorb information and techniques very quickly. I also know that not all teenagers are as naive as everyone thinks, but now I'm going to get repercussions that patronize me because I don't think I'm naive. Well, I do think I'm naive about some things, but I don't think I know everything, I don't think the world's going to be fine and dandy in 2050, and I definitely don't think that I'm the wisest of the wise. I'm only 15 years old. I have a lot to learn. But some things, like this, I know are never going to change.& I've been this way about relationships forever. Oh, and I know that age doesn't mean more intelligence. Heck, people are always telling me that they know adults who can't converse or write half as well as I can. I think what I meant is that I want to get to know someone who grew up in a different world than me; maybe it's not just about age. I get along better with more mature people than those who act like little kids, but, on the other hand, I love little kids. Holden Caulfield of The Catcher& in the Rye& makes me laugh, but I can relate directly to sensual, pondering Bersaba Landor of Saraband for Two Sisters. Wonderful. Now I feel stuck up. I want to be an English teacher or professor, by the way. No way that's changing. I take so much joy in either of those jobs, and I'm a grammar freak. : ) Many of the teachers I know decided they would be so in high school. Perhaps it's a "kindred spirits" thing, since it seems to happen often... | 2006-11-27 17:02:08 |
| 493 | 3292 | Heheh, thanks Canis Lupess. I don't find anything you're interested in boring...it actually all sounds pretty intriguing. I already corrected my wording on the age thing (I've been think too much about Remus Lupin of the Harry Potter series...don't laugh! adults do it too, I know that for a fact! just ask my teacher!). What I meant by "my life all planned out"...haha, yeah, I know, not everything I want now will come true (although I've discovered that if I try really hard, I usually get the things I want, it's weird...unless it's my parents' decision, then I can't do a thing), but I'm pretty sure it's quite possible I will end up as an English teacher. It's in my nature. And I will go to a liberal arts school. I'm at a fine arts and humanities specialty school, so it's almost set in stone there. But of course I'm probably not going to have that dream guy, that dream world, children with the names I've picked now...that's just fun stuff to talk about with friends. : ) | 2006-11-27 17:12:21 |
| 493 | 3293 | None of us think we are naive when we are teenagers. It's so typical of teenagers to have that attitude. Unfortunately, until you grow older, experience things you haven't experienced now and mature mentally, there is no way for you to really know. We've been there, done it, got the T-shirts...even though they are a bit battered and worn. It's all in front of you at the moment. The things we've experienced, you are yet to experience and these things can totally change your mindset in ways you could never imagine before it happened. Many things will happen that you haven't foreseen. The most frustrating part is that you can never really get teenagers to understand this concept....they have to learn& some things& for themselves...when they have grown up a bit more. From realising how right people were when they told me things as a child and teenager, I'm now much more open-minded about listening to people a lot older than me rather than having my own narrow-minded view of how I think life will get when I grow older. I also get along well with people much older than myself. I suppose it's partly down to the interests I have. Most growers of cacti& are pensioners, haha!!!!:D Also, we aren't trying to patronize you...another typical teenage thing...when they hear a& few words of wisdom coming from those with more experience, they automatically assume they are being patronized. Don't take that personally though. Many teenagers would fly into a childish rage at the prospect, I've seen them do it in real life and in forums so we can see that you are above the likes of them....but you are still young....your learning will never cease until the day you die. If you think there is no improvement to be made, you'll never improve anymore and nobody is perfect, only perfect intentions. | 2006-11-27 17:18:05 |
| 493 | 3294 | LOL, we are both posting at the same time here. Anyway, even if you have your mind set on a certain career, always bear in mind it might not turn out that way even if the chance is small. I worked with a lad who went to uni and did a degree in& geography and trained to be a pilot, got his pilots licence, went& flying regularly& and everything. He was smart but a bit self obsessed with narcassistic and obsessive compulsive tendancies but he was headstrong and determined and seemed confident in getting what he wanted......he now works for a waste disposal company.....and it doesn't look like he'll be becoming the pilot he once thought. His position is pretty high up, a supervisor or something with company car and good pay etc....but hardly the original job he studied for. Him and me& used to clash quite a lot, lol. We get along fine out of work but he used to use his supervising status to try and get an advantage over me at work....not that it worked, I was too firey and hotheaded and he used to behave himself with me when we weren't at work and he didn't have his manager on duty status to protect him. It is also safer for you to be prepared for changes because if you aren't, you'll not be as prepared in the event that something happens meaning you can't do what you originally intended. You might even become an English teacher and then realise how much you HATE it. I've seen that happen a LOT!!! Also, do what you want, not what your parents want. It is your life, not theirs. You have to live it and you'll continue to have to live it when they are no longer around and you only have one life. If you let them pressure you into something you don't want to do, you'll end up resenting them and things just won't work out for you anyway. I'm more of a Lord of the Rings and other Tolkiens middle-earth publications& fan than Harry Potter.:D | 2006-11-27 17:31:39 |
| 493 | 3295 | [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "If you think there is no improvement to be made, you'll never improve anymore and nobody is perfect, only perfect intentions. " I know. Thanks. And I think the reason I think I'm being patronized right now is that I'm PMSing, but whatever. Heheh, you didn't need to know that... : ) Over the past two years, I can't believe how far I've come. I know myself way better now and if I stop and think I can see myself from others' perspectives. I do like to listen, and even if I rebel at first, I really just need some time for my mind to turn it over. When someone tells me something right, even if I don't admit it, it sticks with me and I change. This has been happening since I graduated from eighth grade. I consider myself very lucky to be able to do this, because many of the kids I know aren't like that at all, and I feel much better off. This site has been helping me get more perspective from different kinds of people, which I really enjoy. | 2006-11-27 17:37:21 |
| 493 | 3297 | I love both Tolkien and Rowling, for different reasons. : ) My parents don't pressure me into things. : ) I love them, it's okay.& I meant that, when it's for my own good or for the good of the family, I come to realize that after they make a decision. My mom worked very hard to get me into the high school I wanted to go to, but when I found out I was transferred for this year, I was upset because I loved my first high school. She said I should try it and could switch back if I wanted to if I didn't like it. I love it. Teaching...I know I want to do it, but there are some things that bother me. I hate the restrictions on the curriculum, which is why I was thinking about being a professor, so I could be more involved in a part of the subject I love. It might take a while to get a PhD, but I love to learn. : ) | 2006-11-27 17:44:19 |
| 493 | 3298 | I think that happens with most of us and I have experienced that a lot myself. It makes sense to analyze information and advice before taking it because not all of it will be good. Many of these changes take time. Thats why we say what we have...because you still need more time...for more changes as we all do. I'm sure I'll continue to change as time goes on. My condition that I have has changed me a hell of a lot. Something I definitely couldn't foresee when I was your age. It would be just as harmful to just automatically believe everything that Tom, Dick and Harry told you as it is to write everything off that others tell you. Not all older people are wise either. Some people just don't seem to learn. Maybe they think they don't have anything to learn. As for PMS, it is very very rare for me to get the psychological symptoms of it. I'm a sufferer of ALL the physical symptoms. I used to be laid up every month until I went on the pill.:? I can see this thread becoming the longest on the board by tomorrow evening....LOLOL!!! | 2006-11-27 17:48:22 |
| 493 | 3299 | I think that, by now, my mind has learned to sift through good and bad information, because I'm a lot more open now and conscious of what people think of me---not in a bad way. I know how I am because I am able to better understand people's reactions toward me. Since the beginning of this summer, actually, this has been happening to me, and it's pretty darn cool to feel so clairvoyant (though I probably am not so much as I think I am). Age doesn't necessarily mean wisdom, but unless something is missing in the brain, experiences do make people wiser about certain things, I've found. Maybe different people are predisposed to become "wise" about certain aspects of life, but be unable to become mature about others. Of course, I could be wrong, I'm only 15. I've got horrible psychological PMS...and bad physical. Just ask my family. Don't talk too long with me two days before my period... (Which is not now, by the way, I start PMSing early. It's a useful tool for bad behavior, unless it's my mother, who knows when I'm being a brat and when I can't help it...) And yes, I quite agree...this is going to become a very long thread...haha... *grins* | 2006-11-27 18:04:57 |
| 493 | 3301 | [user=419]avenuesthroughgreenmountains[/user] wrote: "*whistles* I must come off as really stupid to you people. When I read what you all have written, I feel, "I know this stuff. Why did I have to go wasting everybody's time with it?" Maybe it's the way I think, but I've always "gotten it." I mingle very well with adults because I am knowledgeable or am able to express opinions about what is being discussed, but I also absorb information and techniques very quickly. I also know that not all teenagers are as naive as everyone thinks, but now I'm going to get repercussions that patronize me because I don't think I'm naive. Well, I do think I'm naive about some things, but I don't think I know everything, I don't think the world's going to be fine and dandy in 2050, and I definitely don't think that I'm the wisest of the wise. I'm only 15 years old. I have a lot to learn. But some things, like this, I know are never going to change.& I've been this way about relationships forever. Oh, and I know that age doesn't mean more intelligence. Heck, people are always telling me that they know adults who can't converse or write half as well as I can. I think what I meant is that I want to get to know someone who grew up in a different world than me; maybe it's not just about age. I get along better with more mature people than those who act like little kids, but, on the other hand, I love little kids. Holden Caulfield of The Catcher& in the Rye& makes me laugh, but I can relate directly to sensual, pondering Bersaba Landor of Saraband for Two Sisters. Wonderful. Now I feel stuck up. I want to be an English teacher or professor, by the way. No way that's changing. I take so much joy in either of those jobs, and I'm a grammar freak. : ) Many of the teachers I know decided they would be so in high school. Perhaps it's a "kindred spirits" thing, since it seems to happen often... " You don't come off as stupid at all.& I know this will come across as supremely arrogant (I don't mean it in a condescending way), but I know I'm smarter than most people, and you remind me very much of how I was 10 years ago... gender differences aside, obviously.& So I know you're smart.& There is more than one kind of smart, though.& You don't and shouldn't know everything at your age, and the fact of it shouldn't embarass you. I know you feel you understand people better than your peers.& I bet you probably do understand people better than your peers.& I felt the same way and I was the same way.& However, although I was smarter and wiser than a lot of my peers, I wasn't as smart nor as wise as I thought I was at the time. Socrates is often paraphrased as saying that the only true knowledge is knowing the you know nothing.& It's really true. You may be smarter than those around you, but you never know as much as you think you know.& That applies to everyone of every age. | 2006-11-27 19:07:51 |
| 493 | 3302 | [user=419]avenuesthroughgreenmountains[/user] wrote: "I think that, by now, my mind has learned to sift through good and bad information, because I'm a lot more open now and conscious of what people think of me---not in a bad way. I know how I am because I am able to better understand people's reactions toward me. Since the beginning of this summer, actually, this has been happening to me, and it's pretty darn cool to feel so clairvoyant (though I probably am not so much as I think I am). Age doesn't necessarily mean wisdom, but unless something is missing in the brain, experiences do make people wiser about certain things, I've found. Maybe different people are predisposed to become "wise" about certain aspects of life, but be unable to become mature about others. Of course, I could be wrong, I'm only 15. I've got horrible psychological PMS...and bad physical. Just ask my family. Don't talk too long with me two days before my period... (Which is not now, by the way, I start PMSing early. It's a useful tool for bad behavior, unless it's my mother, who knows when I'm being a brat and when I can't help it...) And yes, I quite agree...this is going to become a very long thread...haha... *grins* " I would say that wisdom comes only from experience.& Knowledge you can get from other people, but understanding only comes with experience.& Intelligence will help you convert experience to wisdom faster, but it can't conjure wisdom from thin air.& At 15 years, you do have some experience, but you will get more wisdom over the next 10 years than you can really understand at your age.& Moving out and being truly independent, going to college, having a job... it will all change you. I think this thread is drifting too much towards the theoretical, though, and that we are losing sight of the original purpose of this thread: dating older men. What everything we are saying boils down to is that you just need to be patient.& Dating older men won't help you find someone interesting.& Dating a lot of men will just discourage you.& At 15 years old, you can afford to be patient.& We are saying that your tastes will change as you become an adult.& You don't need to find your dream guy right now.& You might meet someone you really identify with, but at this stage in your life it's really not something you should be worried about.& It's ok to become disinterested in guys you date when you're 15 because you are still changing yourself. | 2006-11-27 19:27:18 |
| 493 | 3313 | Yes, at 15, nobody wanted to date me. I was viewed as an unnattractive, uncool and undesirable female to say the least. I used to get bullied and picked on by most boys rather than fancied by them. I never had boyfriends as a result but then, saying that, many of my friends didn't either. They got them once they got older though. Things do change a lot. | 2006-11-28 08:44:49 |
| 493 | 3317 | When I first saw this thread it reminded me of the current situation of my one friend. I truly am really confused why my 20 year old friend is dating this 47 year old.& He does not have anything that could support her in any way. He's very immature and acts like he is 17.& I really do not like this man, and I have no idea what to tell my friend, or if I should just keep my lips closed and not say a word. Seeing her sitting on his lap and kiss him made me throw up in my mouth. | 2006-11-28 11:03:39 |
| 493 | 3322 | Agh! Okay, okay. : ) I don't want to date older men while I'm still in high school anyway, if ever (dunno what I'll think in a few years). I'm crazy and suddenly like the-guy-I-went-on-a-date-with-on-Sunday again (even though I haven't seen him, I talked to him on IM), because we had an interesting conversation about religion and, somehow, antiques...with relation to religion. That's what I was waiting for, I think. He's a smart guy, but he didn't seem like it on Sunday and that disappointed me. I might mention that I am obsessed with Remus Lupin of the Harry Potter series (and have been since the third book came out---I think I was eight years old), and when I read Remus/Tonks stories (if you don't know, he's over ten years her senior), I tend to fantasize, prompting the "older men" idea, which, thinking about it, is pretty stupid. The whole Remus thing is really rather sad, but, I must say, it spurs some fun and interesting conversations at lunch and with my friend Sarah. Harry Potter is very much a part of my generation, in any case. ANYWAY! I'm in a really peppy mood, so I apologize for this slightly pointless post, in which I seem very childish...au revoir, mes amis.... Thanks for everything! (We can keep posting, though, it's quite the riveting topic, hmm? Seeing all the lengthy posts...) | 2006-11-28 19:54:05 |
| 493 | 3323 | And this friend...it is her decision, but have you asked her why she's so interested in him? It might be a good starting point, and you can decide where to go from there. | 2006-11-28 19:55:44 |
| 493 | 3326 | I'll mention something else about much older partners too being as one of my sisters is stuck in this trap. She is 28 and living with a guy in his 40s. She isn't allowed to have friends or go out because he is convinced she'll run off with somebody else. When an older person dates a younger more youthful person, they can often develop this type of possessive jealousy and get paranoid to the extent of them keeping that partner as a prisoner so that they can't run off with somebody younger and better looking....blah blah blah. As a result, my sister has to sit at home in isolation and I know it depresses her. Still, the ultimatum is that she move out if she doesn't do what he says and she can't go anywhere else really so she's well and truly stuck. One of my cousins who is about 20 is also seeing a much older guy. I'm not sure what their relationship is like though because it's not often I see her. Saying that, there is 16 years difference between my stepdad and my mum, my mum being the older one. They are fine. & | 2006-11-29 09:25:03 |
| 493 | 3496 | Heheh, sorry, already resolved this problem...can I cancel this thread? *not well-versed in these types of things* Anywho, I have an amazing boyfriend right now...I was kinda desperate when I first posted on this topic...*bows head sheepishly* | 2007-01-04 22:11:49 |
| 493 | 3497 | Well if you ever decide to go the old guy route, cum and see me first. We can "talk". | 2007-01-04 23:45:49 |
| 493 | 3498 | [user=1157]itsmyitch[/user] wrote: "Dear avenuesthroughgreenmountains; You say that you flirt with boys your age& until they take you out, then you leave them and you think an older man would be better because you can have intelligent conversations with him. Wrong. Go out with an older man and all you'll get is fucked, whether you want it or not. Try to walk away from him and you may even end up dead. There are all kinds of sickoes out there.& A boy your age might put up with your cock teasing ways, but an older man won't. You are just looking for trouble. Stick to your own age group, or just a year older. That or try girl/girl sex, who knows, maybe you are just fooling yourself. & " That's a pretty rude and irresponsible thing to say, especially being an adult male speaking to a young girl. | 2007-01-05 01:01:44 |
| 493 | 3501 | Yes I'm an adult male, with experience in a lot of things. The least of which is chasing old bastards away from my own underaged daughter. Avenuesthroughgreenmountains wrote asking for advice. She didn't say to dust it with sugar. I've fooled around with girls that were far too young (but still legal) for me but after I had my own daughter (18years ago), I have realized the error of my ways. | 2007-01-05 06:01:14 |
| 493 | 3509 | ...O...kay... Can you men have this fight somewhere else, please? Unless you can answer my question: how can I cancel a thread (a.k.a. this thread)? Sorry, not trying to be rude, but I really would like to get this off of here, for, as you can see, fights have ensued...thanks! : ) And also, thanks for everyone's input as well. I've learned a lot. : ) | 2007-01-05 19:11:45 |
| 493 | 3510 | you can either edit out your own comments post by post (which I think is unnecessary and deprives non-posting readers from advice that may help them) or you can ask brad to lock the topic. | 2007-01-05 19:48:49 |
| 493 | 3511 | Thank you! | 2007-01-05 19:50:20 |
| 493 | 3512 | As Dfs has said, talk to Brad about it, he will gladly help you out. :) | 2007-01-05 19:50:40 |
| 494 | 3279 | I was wondering if any of the other women are turned on by the scent/taste of their partner when they kiss/smell them, and I mean his/her natural scent (not perfume). Most of my girl-friends (ok all of them) love this and that perfume on their guy whereas I hate it if my boyfriend wears anything (clothes or perfume :D). I even hate the taste of toothpaste when he brushes his teeth because it masks his natural taste (of course to a certain extent)!& He finds that very wierd :? I find the scent so erotic I actually forget about everything get lost in the moment.& Problem is I can't remember at all if I felt at all this intensely with my previous boyfriends.... | 2006-11-27 12:36:57 |
| 494 | 3280 | Oh I love how my guy smells and tastes too.& But I do like the smell of his body wash also.& I like to have some and use it when I miss him...which is almost all the time since he lives in a different country. Kit | 2006-11-27 13:01:21 |
| 494 | 3289 | I had a comment I was going to make about men having the same experience, but then I started to think about all the scents I associate with women, and I came to the conclusion that none of them was a natural scent. Then I started wondering about the way in which society associates scents with the genders.& You know how colognes, deodorants, and soaps for men generally have a spicy of musky scent which is mostly what a man smells like anyway.& When you go shopping, you instinctively know whether a scent is masculine or feminine. Women, though, tend to use more floral or fruity scents that obviously don't accurately reflect the natural smell of a woman.& It's interesting because a lot of feminine scents are found all over the place.& I used to work with this girl who wore a lot of tropical type scents, cocoa butter and pina colada and stuff like that.& We kind of had this flirty thing going the whole time we worked together, but this was five or six years ago.& Still to this day, though, whenever I smell anything like a pina colada it vividly reminds me of her. | 2006-11-27 16:27:01 |
| 494 | 3296 | Ah yes, it is those more obvious artificial scents that tend to leave the biggest mark on me also and I also noticed how different scents tend to represent each gender. I'm not really a perfume wearer...as long as I don't smell of BO, I'm fine, haha. I have a sister and mother who are allergic to perfume, another reason to avoid it. I wear deoderant but it's never strong smelling stuff that people can whiff like perfume. I do like my hair to have a nice smell to it though. I know some guys have said they like to smell a woman's hair when it has been washed and I like to smell my own hair....it's long, practically down to my bottom. | 2006-11-27 17:38:26 |
| 494 | 3303 | A lot of men like the wet hair moments I think. I think men are generally distrustful of women on some levels.& We all know women dress up and put on makeup and do their hair.& We like when women dress up, but I think a lot of us wonder just how much you ladies dress up. We like the after shower/after swimming moments because it's natural.& Your hair is messy, you don't have makeup on, and you don't have body-shaping garments on.& We like it because it's the real you without putting up a front. | 2006-11-27 19:51:33 |
| 494 | 3305 | Amen, dfs3, amen. I love all things natural, including beauty.& It sometimes sickens me to see women wearing all the perfume and gaudy clothing, etc... The natural scent of a woman is intoxicating, her body gorgeous.& It can't be better than that, so why try?& I know society places a lot of pressure on women to conform to certain ideas of how they should look, but no matter what society says, natural beauty has been around the longest and is still the absolute best. Now, I'm not telling you that I prefer my women to not bathe or anything, I'm just saying that there is no need to attempt to enhance your features.& They're perfect just how they are, in my opinion. My girlfriend has really never worn any sort of perfume, and she very rarely wears any make-up (only when she is really, really tired or the like).& & She couldn't possibly be more attractive to me than how she naturally is. Also, I never wear cologne, it makes me feel sick. Yes, people do call me a hippy. | 2006-11-27 20:57:51 |
| 494 | 3306 | Hi dfs3....you mention about not having body shaping garments on....well that sounds kind of like nudity to me....but why (I have found) do guys usually get so aroused, if you've come out of a shower and your hair is all wet down the back of your shoulders, not having blowdried it, but you have clothes on like panties? | 2006-11-27 21:00:10 |
| 494 | 3309 | Mel Mal Its just the sight of a womens body.& Fresh clean and the soft skin that does it for me...Ooooh think I am getting horny thinking about it...LOL | 2006-11-28 00:55:05 |
| 494 | 3310 | [user=130]melissa malena[/user] wrote: "Hi dfs3....you mention about not having body shaping garments on....well that sounds kind of like nudity to me....but why (I have found) do guys usually get so aroused, if you've come out of a shower and your hair is all wet down the back of your shoulders, not having blowdried it, but you have clothes on like panties?" Well, it's not as though we dislike the clothes you wear.& & We just find different looks attractive for different reasons.& Lingerie is very feminine.& & It does accentuate a lot of the things men like about women.& It's just that sometimes we enjoy seeing a woman how she is instead of how she wants to be seen, if you follow my meaning.& Not that lingerie by itself changes a woman's look all that much.& Men are just attracted to different things at different times for different reasons. | 2006-11-28 01:30:31 |
| 494 | 3311 | Seeing women not all dressed up with their game faces on (make-up lol) just gives you a reassuring feeling that your relationship has reached that candid level, even to the point where you could fart around eachother. <- THATS LOVE! | 2006-11-28 08:32:20 |
| 494 | 3312 | Natural beauty is great when you have good skin but when you don't, you rely on make-up just to look bloody normal. If people saw me without make-up a lot of the time, they'd run a mile rather than get the horn on but, seriously, I really wish I didn't need it. | 2006-11-28 08:39:23 |
| 494 | 3319 | A friend of mine, a guy, once told me that women look their best in two situations: when they just wake up and when they take a shower. It's true that in these case it the real woman the guy is seeing but maybe men like it because seeing the woman naturally makes her come off as more accepting and less likely to have an attitude or reject him.& Just a thought. One reason I'm happy that I'm a woman is that I don't have to deal with dressed up perfectly-madeup girls who look down on most men who approach them.& Maybe it's not like that but at least it seems like it. Still, wearing make-up is a fun change when going out, like trying a new hot outfit but I feel if i wear it regularly I sort of become dependent on it: I get so used to my face in make up that without it seems bland.& I've know lots of girls who just can't go out without it.& Besides it doesn't help the skin at all. | 2006-11-28 13:20:16 |
| 494 | 3320 | [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: " Still, wearing make-up is a fun change when going out, like trying a new hot outfit but I feel if i wear it regularly I sort of become dependent on it: I get so used to my face in make up that without it seems bland.& I've know lots of girls who just can't go out without it.& Besides it doesn't help the skin at all. " Men like it as well, just for different reasons. When a chick is wearing old, worn out comfort clothes with no makeup and her hair pulled back in a sloppy pony tail, men view that as the woman when she isn't trying to impress anyone.& It's the intimate mode when the woman is at home being herself.& it feels like something special to get to share that moment when she isn't being self conscious and putting up a front.& We also like when women dress up though, it's just for different reasons.& When you dress up, it means you're taking pains to look nice.& It tells men that you care about how you look.& It's the same reason men like it when women buy sexy lingerie and show it off to them.& Men love it when women try to turn them on because it means you aren't oblivious to our interest. The thing is, men don't really like women who never dress up because it seems like they don't care about their looks or are simply oblivious to them.& A woman who dresses down at home isn't the same as a woman who never dresses up when she goes out.& For similar reasons, a lot of guys dislike women who wear makeup from the second they get out of bed to the second they go back to bed because it seems vain, prissy, and even a bit paranoid. | 2006-11-28 14:03:38 |
| 494 | 3321 | Hi, Makeup and padded bras kind of fall under the same category. They may help a woman feel more confident and attractive in public but when it comes to taking them off with a new partner, and maybe even a long term partner, it becomes a stressful situation that may prevent them from doing so, at least with the lights on. So a little make up, and padding, is okay but sooner or later it is better if everyone knows the real you. If appearance is so important to a guy and you have been misleading him he wont stick around, and your probably wouldn't want him to. Dressing up for a night on the town is different than every day dress, and then showing of is to be expected. On the subject of scent is the habit of some men and women of putting so much perfume or cologne on that they lead you to believe they buy it by the gallon.:shock: If a gal is standing next to you and there is gentle scent in the air that is great, if she walks by 10 feet away and you can still smell her 10 minutes later, she needs to cut back a little. :P Makes you wonder if she hasn't taken a shower or trying to attract attention, but may in fact be chasing people away. [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] My 2 cents worth. Brad | 2006-11-28 17:20:18 |
| 494 | 3324 | I had a roomie in college that would put so much cologne and body spray on that I would have to leave the room for a few minutes.& It was like he was spraying the crap in my throat.& I really don't understand how people go to that extreme. | 2006-11-29 02:24:16 |
| 494 | 3325 | Haha, yes, like when people walk past you on the bus and you nearly choke to death. I'm glad I'm driving now so I don't have to put up with those things. & I can't be doing with that. They fall into that trap because they can no longer smell the scent after using it for a little while so they stick more on so they can smell it thinking that if they can't smell it, nobody else can. They never seem to realise that they practically kill other people with it. As for make-up, if my face is having a rare good day then I don't mind not wearing slap but I do have dark circles and look tired without it so I tend to put some on when I go anywhere. If I'm having a lazy day, I might just put a bit of concealer over blemishes but thats it. My face still looks nude, just not blemished. One day I went to the docs about a skin problem and the receptionist told me how ill I looked thinking I was actually ill. I wasn't ill at all. I just looked it without slap and her comment sort of proved it. As for dressing up and down, yes I do both. If I'm not going anywhere, I dress down, almost to looking like a tramp, lol. As& I have to walk my dogs each day as well, taking them out down the sludgy fields in best clothes is a bit stupid and, because I can't be bothered to change on lazy days, I'll spend the whole day in the old crappy clothes. When I take the dogs out in cold or bad weather, I really do look like a tramp with my mucky waterproofs and wellies on, haha. I still really enjoy dolling myself up for a night out though and making myself look glamorous but I'm certainly not the type to think I'm out of peoples leagues etc....In fact, my self-esteem is pretty low and& I feel like everyone else is out of my league. | 2006-11-29 09:17:19 |
| 494 | 3327 | I absolutely love the scent of my boyfriend.& Even though a nice surprise of him wearing the cologne I got him is nice. :)& One scent I've experienced I didn't like was when I was performing oral sex on a guy from the past and his body scent was like bo! Turned me off so badly.& Really grossed me out and he did shower daily... but in that region his sex scent was definitely not my forte. On the other hand, I love my boyfriends scent when I perform oral sex on him.& Smells.... yummy. I do like fresh breath.& For some reason my mom loves men with garlic and beer breath.& Egh, that's not so me. :-& How about morning breath? hahaha... Sometimes if my love sleeps over in my dorm, I'll quickly go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and then I'll come back and give him a nice big kiss.& Of course he'll notice the mintiness, and mention it.& | 2006-11-29 15:13:00 |
| 494 | 3328 | I hate morning breath, and not even because I'm trying to impress someone.& I just hate it for what it is.& First thing I do when I wake up is immediately brush my teeth or chew some gum.& My first girlfriend I made out with was a smoker.& That's really the worst IMO. | 2006-11-29 16:23:26 |
| 494 | 3329 | Oh, yes. I can't stand the smell or taste of smokers. I could never date a smoker...ever!!! I snogged one once and, YUCK, never again. Had& I known he was a smoker beforehand, I wouldn't have bothered. I also hate morning breath but it seems the darned thing affects us all really and can't be avoided no matter how great your oral hygiene is.& I've obviously never smelt my own but every other person I know who I've had contact with first thing has morning breath, lol. In long term relationships, I suppose people just get used to their partner having it in a morning before they get up but in the earlier days, I suspect many people do the quick teeth brushing or gum chewing trick. As for BO, you have to wonder how people went on before the type of hygiene that we have now...like several centuries ago or earlier..or even more recent. I suppose because they were constantly exposed to that natural scent of sweat, they didn't actually smell it like we do today in our overly clean lifestyles so they didn't have to suffer the smell of BO like we do now, lol. I wondered about that because it seems so contradictory that we'd be so disgusted by such a natural scent of our own species but it seems it is a problem we created ourselves with our over cleanliness. | 2006-11-29 17:33:16 |
| 494 | 3332 | My dorm mate last semester was horrible.& She stank.& She never bathed and there were a few times I felt like I was going to puke.& When I would come home, her smell was all over my clothes, and no one wanted to hug me hello because of it. :(& Whenever I would have visitors I would actually spray the whole room down with Lysol to get rid of the stink. Like Canis said, centuries ago, they used to not wear deodorant... but to camoflage the stink they would hold up their hankies to their nose that had perfume or mint in it to sniff in when at big gatherings. I think the reason why we are morely paranoid now is that since we are more able to take showers daily, we take advantage of it. | 2006-11-29 21:57:56 |
| 494 | 3414 | Hiya Ladybug, Couldn't your roommate be pursuaded to clean up her act at all? I didn't know about the handkerchiefs at large gatherings little known fact, so thanks for the info on that.:) Hi Kay, I think au naturelle is a natural turn-on in most cases as well.& One exception would be a man who doesn't shower for days at a time, or someone who's so lazy they won't even bother with simple basic daily hygiene/self-care.monkey Cheers! | 2006-12-18 01:33:46 |
| 494 | 3422 | You see, I did try to tell her that she smelled.& I guess my hint of, "something doesn't smell right in this room," didn't work.& Well it didn't becuase I said just that and her reaction, "What does it smell like?"& My response, "Body odor." I looked straight at her and she sniffed her pits and said, "It's not me!" She didn't know she smelled bad.& :-& I was talking to a few people we would hang out with during the one summer semester and they would say she always smelled during parties. There was also one more thing. Near the end of the semester she would have Vagisil panty powder out on display on her dresser.& There's nothing wrong with having talc powder, but this kind just made me even more sick to my stomach. I couldn't have the heart to say something to her because I truly liked her as a person, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I dealt with it, found a roomie for this year and told her that since her new job of being an RA of a dorm would make my semesters a bit more stressful. | 2006-12-19 23:06:08 |
| 494 | 3429 | Haha, I know the plight of a stinky roommate, albeit I only lived with it for a few month. Some tricks I picked up were... -If you have a closet or drawers or something, keep it well insulated, I had 2 drawers for myself and what I did was put all my clothes in plastic bags while in the laundry room, this way the smell doesn't linger in your clean clothes before you wear them, and just change QUICKLY before you leave the place, don't hang around too long. -Febreeze Febreeze Febreeze, this stuff is magic, I don't know how it stands up to feminine odor, but it is the bane of good ol B.O. it isn't permanent, but it just nullifies the smell for a good while. Everyone asked while I smelled like Febreeze all the time, but they understood and sympathized after a while. -sounds kinda obvious but is pretty effective, open window + fan, if no windows, well sorry. What are some other stinky roommate strategies do you guys have? | 2006-12-21 01:03:44 |
| 494 | 3439 | I love the smell of my husband. Sometimes it seems to me that I love him for his smell... He always laughing: Why do you always smell me as a dog? And I don't like his deodorant or shaving-cream. But I like toothpaste. | 2006-12-22 18:40:43 |
| 494 | 3450 | [user=825]Male[/user] wrote: "Haha, I know the plight of a stinky roommate, albeit I only lived with it for a few month. Some tricks I picked up were... -If you have a closet or drawers or something, keep it well insulated, I had 2 drawers for myself and what I did was put all my clothes in plastic bags while in the laundry room, this way the smell doesn't linger in your clean clothes before you wear them, and just change QUICKLY before you leave the place, don't hang around too long. -Febreeze Febreeze Febreeze, this stuff is magic, I don't know how it stands up to feminine odor, but it is the bane of good ol B.O. it isn't permanent, but it just nullifies the smell for a good while. Everyone asked while I smelled like Febreeze all the time, but they understood and sympathized after a while. -sounds kinda obvious but is pretty effective, open window + fan, if no windows, well sorry. What are some other stinky roommate strategies do you guys have? " Ah yes, the window and fan.& I tried to have the door open, but the stench went down the hall both ways. I did have Fabreeze air freshner, but I ran out, and I had a huge container of Lysol. | 2006-12-27 06:30:28 |
| 498 | 3304 | HI, I have a friend Karen, who said to this guy in my presence, I have to visit the grand rapids...and he wanted to know what that is, and of course, we let him know it meant she had to peeee.....he wanted to watch, and Karen was kind of bashful about it, but when she gives in and says OK, you can watch, he has an obvious erection bulge and he followed her in and she hiked up her dress and yanked her panties down, and she just peed....he is just like staring in amazement as she pees, that he unzips and played with himself and comes, and says just seeing& her like that got hi soooo excited.....& Is this odd behavior? & | 2006-11-27 20:54:46 |
| 498 | 3307 | odd?& it's not unheard of.& more than a few people have pee fetishes.& I don't understand it, but it's not the rarest thing in the world. | 2006-11-27 21:49:41 |
| 498 | 3308 | Plenty of peeing fetishes out there.& I think it just a mans wonder of the female body that is turning him on... | 2006-11-28 00:51:03 |
| 498 | 3315 | It sounds like you may have watched too??? [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] | 2006-11-28 10:26:10 |
| 499 | 3330 | I have been masturbating since before I even knew what it was, but still the only way I can get there is by humping an object such as the side of the bed or a large stuffed animal. I've tried other methods, but I can't seem to make it work. Any suggestions? Thanks for your help. :) | 2006-11-29 20:05:48 |
| 499 | 3331 | many many women can only orgasm from one or a select few methods.& the humping method is one of the most common, believe it or not.& I don't think you really have anything to worry about. | 2006-11-29 21:57:28 |
| 499 | 3337 | I mainly use this method.....it feels soooo wonderful humping a pillow.....and I can get a mirror and watch hehehe...it's incredible when the hips go by themselves during arousal...but if you don't want to hump an object as a pillow, try rubbing your panties back and forth around the fron part of the slit area a few inches below the mons, and then even put your fingers under those panties and go for it! | 2006-12-01 22:06:24 |
| 499 | 3338 | Fingertips don't really do it for me. They are too smooth and also too small. I need something a little bit bigger that has a small amount of friction to it to get me off. Hence using a soft toy, lolol.& I can apply more pressure too using something like that. I have orgasmed using fingertips once when I tried but it's much easier doing it with the soft toy and it feels& better too. | 2006-12-02 05:45:24 |
| 500 | 3339 | hey everyone!:) i'm kind of new here. and i'd like to know how many of you have tried cyber sex chatting?? please do share your experiences. i'm a complete virgin lol& when it comes to cyber sex chat. and i'd really like to try it out sometime, since it's sounds like fun!:D and its safe too! any ideas and tips on how to start the conversation with an unknown stranger online?? and any precautions i have to take??& & | 2006-12-02 12:42:08 |
| 500 | 3340 | the only precaution you need to take with strangers is not to give out any personal information that would allow the person to find you if they turned out to be psycho. there used to be sites or IRC channels that you could go to just for the purpose of cybersex, but I don't know if they are popular anymore or if they even exist.& messenger services replaced chat rooms long ago, so I kind of doubt it.& using things like AIM makes it harder to find random people, especially since most of those programs don't seem to have buddy finder features anymore.& I think probably the best bet you would have for finding a stranger these days is to browse forums until you find someone really flirty, then you can move the conversation to AIM and flirt your way to a sex chat.& you don't have to only have cyber sex with strangers though.& if you have a significant other who you don't live with, cyber sex can be really fun, especially if you are in a long distance relationship (which is happening more and more these days).& you can also do it with a friend just for fun as well, just make sure to make clear with each other that you aren't interested in taking it any further. I had a girlfriend I used to cyber with when I was in college.& That was pretty fun, but the relationship wasn't that great.& I had more fun cybering with a couple female friends who weren't interested in relationships at the time.& One of the good things about having cyber sex with someone you know is that you never have that nagging feeling that there's some creep behind the monitor making everything up.& Cyber sex, in a nutshell, is a more exciting alternative to porn, but a safter alternative than one night stands when you're looking for an outlet for your libido. | 2006-12-02 15:34:19 |
| 500 | 3362 | Very well put.But just be extra wary of who you choose.If they asked for personal info,pics of private areas ect. move on and find someone else. | 2006-12-05 16:33:24 |
| 500 | 3363 | well, if you're an exhibitionist and over 18, then pics are fine... nobody is gonna be able to find out where you live just because you flashed them.& just don't give out information about your identity like your address or any ID numbers, because those are definitely traceable. | 2006-12-05 19:49:25 |
| 500 | 3364 | Eh... I'd still be sketchy.& You can still track someone by their email adress.& If there is a will, there is a way. I can even track people who IM me on AIM.& If they look at my profile, I can see their location.& It's scary. | 2006-12-06 10:20:23 |
| 500 | 3689 | Cyber sex chat is fun. Although married I have been cybering for quite a while now. Cybering has never interfered with my marital life as claimed by many - we love each other more today than when we first met. I have shared my personal info with many of my cyber friends and they do too but none of them have ever turned our cyber friendship ugly. We in fact respect each other's privacy and individuality. I suppose there are many cyberers who darg each other to the point of murders - what a waste of friendship and time. However I woud suggest everyone to use thier discretion and caution with sharing of personal information - many may not be as lucky as me in getting such trusty lovely friends.......I love my cyber friends. | 2007-02-13 01:50:51 |
| 500 | 3699 | I comepletely agree with Funmanhere, I'm married, but i love to cyber, it's exiting and relaxing to meet women from alll over the world and have fun together. I respect all of them, and it has not and will not intefere with my marriage. We are adult persons just having some personal intimate fun. If you're looking for adult chat rooms, my tip, go to google and enter adult chatrooms or just chatrooms. I would also volunteer si that we get to know each other better if you wish. Odlid:D | 2007-02-15 21:56:10 |
| 500 | 3700 | Okay, forgive me, but this is kind of shocking me. Would you appreciate it if your spouse was even flirting (much less cyber sexing) with someone else?& Even if it's done covertly, that would hurt even more.& I can't believe that anyone would be okay with their spouse doing something like that; it's just completely innapropriate. I cannot believe that something like that wouldn't get under the skin of your spouse, and I believe that it would eventually pose a serious problem in the future. If you want to have some "personal intimate fun," why don't you have it with the person you said would be the apple of your eye, the only one, forever?& Gees, what happened to trust and integrity?& If you have a problem with your marriage then talk it out, don't resort to stuff on this level. Of course, it would be okay to have fun this way if you're not married or in a serious relationship, but honestly now. The entire idea of this has me utterly flabbergasted; I'm going to stop typing before I start to get angry.& I just couldn't let this thought slide, though... | 2007-02-15 22:16:36 |
| 500 | 3762 | [user=962]Kundalini[/user] wrote: "Okay, forgive me, but this is kind of shocking me. Would you appreciate it if your spouse was even flirting (much less cyber sexing) with someone else?& Even if it's done covertly, that would hurt even more.& I can't believe that anyone would be okay with their spouse doing something like that; it's just completely innapropriate. I cannot believe that something like that wouldn't get under the skin of your spouse, and I believe that it would eventually pose a serious problem in the future. If you want to have some "personal intimate fun," why don't you have it with the person you said would be the apple of your eye, the only one, forever?& Gees, what happened to trust and integrity?& If you have a problem with your marriage then talk it out, don't resort to stuff on this level. Of course, it would be okay to have fun this way if you're not married or in a serious relationship, but honestly now. The entire idea of this has me utterly flabbergasted; I'm going to stop typing before I start to get angry.& I just couldn't let this thought slide, though... "We seem to have riled you up, sorry Kundalini. But let me clarify one important issue here - cybering, in my case, did not emotionally detach me from my wife. We are still the same lovers we met the first time. To me, as long as it doesn't jeopardise or put a serious risk on marriage, it is fine. I don't know if my wife is cybering with others - there is no way to babysit everyone; but even if she is, it hasn't affected our partnership. Kept under a reasonable limit, I see nothing wrong in cyber. In the process, we end up getting more friends to understand and share. Is it wrong? | 2007-02-26 23:53:43 |
| 500 | 3765 | I'm not going to pretend like I'm an all-knowing, do-no-wrong spirit, but in my opinion this is still wrong. Even if it's not connection on an emotional level, you are sharing your sexuality with other people; it was meant to be shared with the person you love, and them alone. | 2007-02-27 07:36:55 |
| 500 | 3768 | [user=962]Kundalini[/user] wrote: "I'm not going to pretend like I'm an all-knowing, do-no-wrong spirit, but in my opinion this is still wrong. Even if it's not connection on an emotional level, you are sharing your sexuality with other people; it was meant to be shared with the person you love, and them alone. "I'd have to agree with Kundalini. Even though this is your business.& In my humble opinion, I believe it's wrong to cyber with others, while in any kind of relationship.& You said you don't know if your wife cybers with others, but does your wife know that you cyber with other women?& If I were to find out that my boyfriend was cybering with other girls, I'd be really upset.& I'd feel betrayed.& Even though this kind of friendship with other women is only on-line, I really don't think it should matter.& It's talking sexually with another women.& Whether it's in person or on-line, I find it wrong. | 2007-02-27 19:26:07 |
| 500 | 3775 | [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "[user=962]Kundalini[/user] wrote: "I'm not going to pretend like I'm an all-knowing, do-no-wrong spirit, but in my opinion this is still wrong. Even if it's not connection on an emotional level, you are sharing your sexuality with other people; it was meant to be shared with the person you love, and them alone. "I'd have to agree with Kundalini. Even though this is your business.& In my humble opinion, I believe it's wrong to cyber with others, while in any kind of relationship.& You said you don't know if your wife cybers with others, but does your wife know that you cyber with other women?& If I were to find out that my boyfriend was cybering with other girls, I'd be really upset.& I'd feel betrayed.& Even though this kind of friendship with other women is only on-line, I really don't think it should matter.& It's talking sexually with another women.& Whether it's in person or on-line, I find it wrong. "Ladybug and kundalini, thanks for your insight - makin me think again about what I have done. This could be a beginnin to the end of my bad manners afterall. | 2007-02-28 01:25:10 |
| 500 | 3781 | Best wishes from me to you! :) I hope I didn't offend you in any way. I like it when this forum since it's a nice environment here on-line to talk to other about such things. | 2007-02-28 18:48:23 |
| 500 | 3783 | Well, can't say that I was expecting that response from you, Funmanhere... I hope I didn't offend you either, and good luck with everything!& I'm glad I was able to plant some sort of seed on this subject for you. | 2007-02-28 18:51:09 |
| 500 | 3789 | Nono, you guys are lovable in fact. Not many people interact so spontaneously and honestly. In fact rare to find guys like you - Hi again Kundalini and Ladybug. | 2007-02-28 23:08:29 |
| 500 | 3797 | Well thank you. :)& | 2007-03-01 14:38:31 |
| 500 | 3810 | hmm...well i for one am not into cybering simply because i am not coordinated enough to handle the one handed typing thing...i make too many typos with one handed typing...then when i read my typos...it jst makes me laugh too much that i loose concentration on feeling sexy...so i jst end up feeling really silly with it...;) *just wanted to lighten up the topic :D* ciao, mayang | 2007-03-02 22:50:32 |
| 500 | 3821 | [user=755]mayang[/user] wrote: "hmm...well i for one am not into cybering simply because i am not coordinated enough to handle the one handed typing thing...i make too many typos with one handed typing...then when i read my typos...it jst makes me laugh too much that i loose concentration on feeling sexy...so i jst end up feeling really silly with it...;) *just wanted to lighten up the topic :D* ciao, mayang "My hands aint good either with one hand typin...all the cyber that i done were with 2 hands on the keyboard. Unlike most others with one hand typin and one hand elsewhere my mind takes over the rest and it's been rather interestin - laugh included. | 2007-03-03 04:37:59 |
| 502 | 3351 | My girlfriend and I have been dating quite some time and we decided to have sex.& We have tried multiple times but she can not take the pain.& She is well lubricated and we have even used other forms of lubrication to try that.& This has not been just a one time thing.& It has been going on for about 2 months, trying once to twice a week.& I can never really get passed half way in... what can I do to make this pleasurable for her.& AM i doing something wrong? | 2006-12-03 20:42:35 |
| 502 | 3352 | ideally she would be practicing penetration with objects smaller than a penis and slowly working her way up to something penis sized.& the vagina doesn't automatically fit a penis right out of the box, so to speak.& it takes time for her body to become accustomed to it. | 2006-12-03 21:31:46 |
| 502 | 3354 | I would suggest not trying IC again for the time being because everytime she feels the pain, it is reinforcing the clamping of the muscles and will make the problem worse to the point that you might not be able to enter at all. If she feels pain everytime you try, her brain will remember and instruct the muscles to clamp up whenever penetration is attempted again. The condition is called vaginismus and I suffer from it too. Get her to start on smaller objects like dfs suggested. You can use a range of things such as tapered candles with condoms on or even veggies with condoms on, peel them down a bit& as required. Tampon applicators are also used. You can buy smaller sized dildos or buy a set of dilators otherwise known as vaginal trainers but these aren't generally cheap. They are worth it though. The most important thing is not to rush because it's easy to end up back at square one again. She should work on getting her vagina to take things from a small size to gradually larger in a way that she isn't causing herself pain. She can use fingers as well if she wants. Get her to try and insert a finger to see if that works and then graduate up to two fingers. | 2006-12-04 06:56:11 |
| 502 | 3356 | Hi, This subject is addressed significantly on the website. Please see the information linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_index_intercourse.htm Brad | 2006-12-04 07:42:59 |
| 502 | 3418 | & i appreciate everything that has been said but i am either sexually retarded or just not ready i dont know what to do...i have been trying for months to have sex with my gf and it is just not working.& i have tried different positions different styles, lubrication, no lubrication, quick, and easing it in.& It is driving me crazy tonight my girlfriend said sex is something she needs in our relationship and i agree we are both ready and have been for some time now i just need to know what to do.& this has even made me comfortable to say there is a slight curve in my penis and wonder if that is the problem.& should i have her talk to a gynecologist or what.& I guess i am just desperate and need to know fast... the girl of my dreams may walk away because we cant have sex, she thinks we just werent meant to be because this isnt working.& I honestly am lost and again need any help that you all here can give | 2006-12-18 23:50:44 |
| 502 | 3419 | My suggestion is try kissing. Become very emotionally involved. When people want sex they think it is simply inserting a penis into a vagina (very often men have this belief) they forget to enjoy themselves. Allow passion to fill the needs of desire. There is nothing more sexually arousing than long passionate kisses, I mean mouth to mouth for minutes not seconds. When kissing is engaged this leads onto touching. Touching arms, skin, and hair anything at all. & After a period, or even after several kissing episodes, this can lead to 'feeling'. Feeling breast, nipples, penis or balls. This can, eventually, lead to intercourse. This intercourse is very desirable and sought after by both men and women. Get to know each intimately before trying to force intercourse and then it will come 'naturally'. A proper sexual relationship often involves passionate intercourse. Do not become confused with masturbation and 'hot' dreams. Masturbation and fantasizing is the ultimate in self awareness and knowing yourself and more importantly knowing your body. Once you have 'discovered' and love your body you can expect your partner to also, provided your partner has experienced self awareness and 'love' of their body too. You and your G/F may think you want and need sexual intercourse, however until you discover the real intimate pleasure of each other and each other's body intercourse is being difficult. I know my first intercourse experience went along the lines I've outlined and it has been 100% successful ever since. Masturbation gives you great satisfaction and spine tingling pleasure. Intercourse can give each of you a wonderful awareness of each other and deep understanding of each other. My thought for what they're worth. | 2006-12-19 06:21:38 |
| 502 | 3554 | my boyfriend and i had a similar problem a few months ago. He was my first, and although we did have sex, initial penetration was always extremely painful for me. After he had fully entered me, the pain almost immediately went away and the actual act of sex was very enjoyable, but& penetration was always a problem. he is slightly older than i and had had sex before and was therefore very concerned about my comfort. it bothered him greatly that he had to cause me pain but neither of us could find a way around it. Finally, after one extremely painful attempt, he started talking to me while trying to enter again. Although he always asked me if i was okay before hand, we usually were quiet during actual penetration as we were both trying to concentrate on the act itself. Big mistake. As soon as he started talking to me, comforting me and whispering in my ear, all the pain disappeared. I know now that hearing his voice as an actual confirmation of his presence and the care that he shows by communicating is what finally makes me relax enough to except him fully without any hesitation or pain. This is also a question of intimacy, something that I know comes with concern and care. It is not only about touch, but in confirming that every action you take, in bed or not, is important and worthy of it's own special acknowledgment. Since then, i have found penetration actually enjoyable and it has increased our level of communication with each other during sex.& To summarize, i strongly suggest you do the same with your girlfriend if you haven't yet. While you may be speaking to each other already, as we had been, the actual timing and care for that particular moment was very important to me, and it could possibly be for her too. hope that helps and that you are having better luck! -bird | 2007-01-15 19:02:33 |
| 502 | 3574 | talking while doing it is cool, but don't you think sometimes it is cool to just listen to the penis going in and out of the vagina making squishy sounds? | 2007-01-19 23:30:16 |
| 502 | 3576 | haha...yes, being quiet certainly has its perks. for me, it is a question of communication just for those few brief seconds of penetration, most likely linked to some stuff that happened to me when i was younger. | 2007-01-20 15:03:04 |
| 503 | 3366 | I found this one day while reading BBC.It has pretty funny animated cartoons related to puberty and such.There are male and female flashes.Also alot of info translated into easy to understand language. www.bbc.co.uk/slink/sexlovelife/amiafreak/ (not sure how to tag it ) | 2006-12-06 17:07:36 |
| 503 | 3370 | That's such a cool site. :) | 2006-12-06 22:59:10 |
| 504 | 3367 | Hie, i hav just started exploring my body. Am not sure what i hav seen is considered normal by standard. Is the clitoris hood just above the clitoris have slightly whitish in color? I hav also noticed that around my labia majora and the inner skin of the labia majora (including the skin behind the labia minora) has whitish bumps, but they do not cause any pain. I am not sure whether they hav been there all the time or eitherwise. Is there anything i should be worried about? Thanks. | 2006-12-06 19:59:07 |
| 504 | 3368 | Hi This link should help [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/anat_indx.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/anat_indx.htm bumps [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_indx.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_indx.htm As in color and sizes& I can say all bodys are different.Its like breast all varies of sizes and shapes! Ill leave that end up to Brad or someone more educated in that area:) | 2006-12-06 20:04:58 |
| 504 | 3369 | Hi, thanks for the prompt reply [user=1060]Lunawolf[/user]. After going through the links, I am somewhat less worried about those white bumps as there are others with similar anatomy as mine. I forgot to mentioned that i've been having some nagging discomfort (sorta like the kinds you get on a chill nite where your bones feel a little numb) on my left side of the labia majora. I've had this before when i was schooling, but it went away after a couple of days. But this time around it has been about a week. Peeing was not painful but the discomfort is there. Went to the GP and was told i hav sorta of an ulcer and some rashes. Was not prescribed any mediation though and was told not to worry about it and to drink plenty of water. I hav been intimate with my fiancee for over a year now and hav not had any problems till now.& Am worried if i hav contracted any infections due to my lifestyle. | 2006-12-06 21:40:08 |
| 505 | 3377 | I don't know if I'm the only one that experiences this... but to me astroglide tends to get sticky pretty fast. Or am I the only one? | 2006-12-10 11:48:56 |
| 505 | 3378 | Hi, Many or most water based lubricants containing glycerin, sugar, tend to become sticky quickly once the moisture is absorbed or evaporates away. You can rehydrate the lubricant with water, i.e. warm water. The book Sex Toys 101 recommends using a misting spray bottle or saliva. You can also place a small bowl of water next to your area of activity. The same book says "Astroglide is long lasting and lightweight, with the sweet taste characteristic of glycerin-based lubes" Slippery stuff is a less expensive lube that DOES NOT contain glycerin, and it too can be rehydrated. Brad | 2006-12-10 12:18:20 |
| 505 | 3386 | Thanks! :) I didn't know that. Now I do!& I'll explain that to my boyfriend and he'll say, "how did you know that?!" I always tell him things I read from this site and he always asks me, "where did you get that information?" | 2006-12-12 09:02:45 |
| 509 | 3388 | Hi Ladies, What do you think of the new sex toy described and demonstrated on the following website? [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] [url=www.fristic.com/] www.fristic.com/ Brad | 2006-12-12 17:29:21 |
| 509 | 3389 | It seems like a lame gimmick to me.& The video on the site demonstrates that the woman still has to manually pull that stap back.& The thing that makes it so pointless is that the strap is connected to the tip of the phallus, so rather than a woman being able to manually stimulate her clit with the fine control of her own fingers or a separate toy, she now has to time the pulling of the strap with the thrusts of her other hand or of her partner.& They claim that the toy eliminates the need for "additional manual stimulation" of the clitoris, but that is clearly not the case.& The toy simply makes the manual stimulation indirect. The site mentioned that it could somehow be attached to a condom, but if the woman were to pull it too strongly as the man is thrusting, I imagine you could easily rip the condom and thereby defeating the point of the condom.& If it requires a "special" condom, I'm guessing the condom would be so thick for reasons of durability that it would more or less kill sensation for the man.& And if it is instead just a rubber ring that slips over the head of the penis, it could be uncomfortable having a heavy rubber strap pulled on the penis while thrusting, not to mention that a heavy rubber ring could easily rip the condom as well. | 2006-12-12 18:21:34 |
| 509 | 3396 | Seems like a little vibrator or just your fingers would be better in the left hand than holding that strap... Edit: Also that strap kinda makes it to where you have to insert the dildo straight in or the strap is pointless, no moving it around or anything. | 2006-12-14 07:47:27 |
| 509 | 3402 | I'll wait to hear of any user's experience | 2006-12-15 06:33:38 |
| 509 | 3534 | if i would get it for free i would try it , pretty sure it would work. do not plan to go to the "trouble" of buyng it. somehow i feel i have all the "toys" on my body to have a good time. but yes i do not know lots about toys, do not own any... so it is pretty thrilling for me to thik about this strap-thing. | 2007-01-12 18:32:16 |
| 509 | 4773 | [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi Ladies, What do you think of the new sex toy described and demonstrated on the following website? [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] [url=www.fristic.com/] www.fristic.com/ Brad " I would like to buy it. It seems it is very good idea. Fristic the invention looks very new. My boyfriend used rings for penis, but they touch mine clit sometimes. For me is necessary& constant clit stimulation. | 2007-08-31 07:22:33 |
| 512 | 3403 | hi im new to this forum...my problem is.... ive been into 3 intimate relationships& before..i got married 3 weeks ago and there's alot of question marks being pointed to me by my husband.he's a doctor and ive explained to him the truth and this truth n reality has effected my new relationship . he complains its not tight , its external picture of the labia n ect looks very different and bad...i never expected this to happen after having intimate relationships.. im very confused and i seriously need help how to change/improve things...i really need your opinion and advice...PLEASE HELP ME ...THANKS... | 2006-12-15 13:11:21 |
| 512 | 3404 | I think you'll have to explain the problem in greater detail to get an accurate answer from anyone here to help you. To me it sounds like (correct me if I'm wrong) your husband has told you that your vulva is not "right" and looks bad... If that's the case, I highly doubt that you're the one with the problem.& If your husband doesn't like how your vulva looks, that's his problem, and he shouldn't expect you to change yourself to please him.& Naturally, your vulva is exactly as it is supposed to be; I highly recommend that you do not go into any sort of surgery or drugs to attempt to alter yourself.& Unless of course, this wasn't the problem in the first place. ;) | 2006-12-15 16:37:01 |
| 512 | 3405 | ive been telling him basically what has happened has happened and theres no point talking/thinking about it because we are already married !..but he does'nt seem to accept the fact and he's very uneasy with it...about the vulva its not a problem at all for me because he's the only one who's going to see it and yet he's making a fuss... he says its not tight and he's not having a good time...im afraid he might leave me due to this silly issues..:( | 2006-12-15 17:55:12 |
| 512 | 3406 | Hello and Welcome to the group You say your husband is a doctor well a doctor would know that all women's vulva's and vagina's are different, look different and are just different from each other. That is what makes us unique and special. I think based on what little you have said, it is your husband with the serious problem not you. Princess | 2006-12-15 17:58:18 |
| 512 | 3407 | Well, then yes, obviously this is your husbands problem. If he isn't willing to look past something so small, then he is not behaving in a way that people in a marriage should act.& Something as miniscule as not being "tight enough" could easily be looked past in a loving relationship. In my opinion, all of the pleasure from any sexual act comes from the fact that I'm being intimate with the woman I love.& If you think that he has the right to be acting like this, and really want to end the entire problem, I recommend doing Kegels exercises to strengthen the vaginal muscles. With his attitude, I think he doesn't really deserve that much effort put forth like that, but kegels would certainly help tone your muscles.& This would increase the "tightness". However, even if you do this and solve the "problem", you should have a talk with him and see why he is really in this relationship. Or maybe I'm just reacting too harshly, and he really is a great guy.& Only you know! | 2006-12-15 18:39:28 |
| 512 | 3410 | I agree with the others. He should only have married you if you were more to him than a vagina to stick his penis in. He's acting as if the only thing important about you is your ability to satisfy him in bed. How cruel and selfish? I don't know what they taught him in medical school but he has very little idea about women and their anatomy, I think. I certainly& wouldn't feel confident about his ability to help any other women who had physical issues regarding sex. I wouldn't go and see him, put it that way. If he's already moaning about something as trivial as this only 3 weeks into the marriage, then I'm afraid things don't really look that good. Did you have sexual relations before you married? If so, was it a problem for him then? if so, why did he agree to get married? There is nothing that you need to change about yourself, it's him that needs to change. You can try& the kegels but even if that works for this problem, I get the feeling he'll just find another one to replace it afterwards. I suppose you too can benefit from kegels. It is supposed to help the woman feel more as well when she has stronger vaginal muscles. Better orgasms and such. I know I sound harsh but with the things I have experienced with my problem, attitudes like this make me so angry. | 2006-12-16 08:56:16 |
| 512 | 3411 | thanks kundalini , princess and& canis lupess!! yes totally agree with& all of you and ill keep on trying again and again in convincing him about reality of life.. sometimes i do wonder he being a dr but unfortunately he has a very shallow mentality...god bless us..meanwhile,i will do the kegels exercise to strengthen& my vaginal muscles... about the kegels exercise, how many times should i do it per& day? have you tried it? how long it takes to see the results?..thanks again...:-D | 2006-12-16 19:34:11 |
| 512 | 3412 | www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Spa/4502/vagex.html "The easiest way to exercise is simply to contract the vagina, then relax. Repeat 20-400(depending on your strength) times/day." I do kegels as well, but as a guy I don't really know what the results and such would feel like for you.& I personally saw results after about two months, but it may be quicker or easier for you. Good luck with your marriage and exercises! :) | 2006-12-16 21:12:24 |
| 512 | 3438 | [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: " it is your husband with the serious problem not you. " That's it!!! | 2006-12-22 18:35:17 |
| 513 | 3415 | Hello all. My aplogies for this post as this is going to be a lengthy one. & About 3-4 weeks back, the left side of my genital area felt discomfort. I don’t really know how to describe the feeling I am having, but it felt kind of numb and sore at the same time, it might even be the muscle throbbing – I am not sure how to describe it. But the discomfort feeling is there most of the time. Then I noticed I get these discomfort especially more during and after I urine, and also when I pee I felt discomfort (more like pressure feeling when the pee comes out) and sometimes the pee feels hot. So that got me to think that I have a urine infection. Went to my GP, had a clinical urine test. The test was negative, but my GP said that the infection might not show up in clinical test. So I was put on antibiotics and the medication to clear my urine. Today is the 4th day of my medication. The discomfort feeling had subside since my first visit to the GP, but 2 days ago, after I woke up from nap, my genital area (the left side again) felt sore and numb and throbbing. My stomach also has been feeling gassy and it kind of felt the discomfort lingered to my genitals. However, the right side of my genital gets this discomfort only occasionally. & I checked myself and found two whitish bumps (it does not feel smooth) on the inner of my labia minora, on the sides of the urethra - one on each side (A sketch of the image attached). Similar whitish bumps are also seen on the outer and inner skin of the labia majora. The inner skin has these bumps on one row. They do not itch or painful. I do not know if these bumps have been there all the time, as this is my first time checking. & I don’t know if this will help, but my menstrual cycle is a day or two late (maybe the effect of the medication I was prescribed for the possible UTI?). I have also been intimate with my fiance for over a year now. My fiance was a virgin. In my previous relationship (that was over 3 yrs ago) my ex fingered me, and have playfully brushed his penis at my genitals, but there was no penetration. & What could have caused the discomfort? Could it be some hormonal changes leading to my menstrual? Pls help as I am scared and worried. Thanks. | 2006-12-18 07:50:31 |
| 513 | 3416 | I will give you the advice I always give for these kinds of questions: see a doctor.& Nobody here is qualified to diagnose such things, especially not from a brief written description. | 2006-12-18 18:42:15 |
| 513 | 3437 | Don't be afraid to see a doctor. Tell everything to him. | 2006-12-22 18:30:30 |
| 515 | 3420 | I like to masturbate with a speculum. Does anyone else have such fantasies ? | 2006-12-19 14:12:59 |
| 515 | 3421 | I will beat brad to the punch and link you to a specific part of the site that shares all kinds of masturbation experiences sent in from readers of the site. www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/mast_indx.htm click the pages under Shared Techniques to read about all kinds of different experiences. | 2006-12-19 16:07:19 |
| 515 | 3423 | What exactly is a speculum? | 2006-12-19 23:08:33 |
| 515 | 3424 | it's the tool gynecologists use to stretch everything open. | 2006-12-20 01:44:54 |
| 515 | 3425 | I had a blockage.& I knew what it was, but couldn't think of it. hahaha... Those things are my enemy.& Speculums tend to not like me at all. | 2006-12-20 18:03:22 |
| 515 | 3427 | not that I'm in any position to know, but I can't imagine they would feel good just from looking at them. | 2006-12-20 18:59:12 |
| 515 | 3428 | Not at all... especially when the doctor is forcing it... :(& She told me my cervix is far back and plus me having a few extra pounds doesn't help much either.& But the way she way shoving it in really hurt.& :X | 2006-12-21 00:17:01 |
| 515 | 3430 | well, when the gyno uses it, it's not really supposed to feel nice& :P& but even then, by the simple shape and construction of a speculum, I can't imagine it would feel good regardless of how it was being used.& all those hard edges and irregular shapes have got to be uncomfortable. | 2006-12-21 01:08:39 |
| 515 | 3433 | When I had one shoved in me, it hurt so bad, it traumatized me. I felt like I was being split in two. She couldn't open it up though. Had to abort the idea. Taking it out was as bad as shoving it in. I doubt they are nice for anyone really though being as they are often made out of metal and will obviously feel very cold when inserted into the warm vagina. Mind, even plastic dilators feel dead cold unless I heat them up in a glass of hot water first. | 2006-12-21 17:43:27 |
| 515 | 3434 | I believe my doctor used the bigger sized one since I'm not a virgin, but it had been a month since I had sex, so my inners were a tad tight. She even noted she was having a difficult time and that it wasn't supposed to feel the way it was feeling.& That whole afternoon I was getting sharp pains. | 2006-12-21 18:44:44 |
| 515 | 3448 | [user=1116]Jill[/user] wrote: "I like to masturbate with a speculum. Does anyone else have such fantasies ?" NO the thought makes me not want to open my thighs apart even a tiny bit! They are the most inhumane tool used to examine women's vaginal areas I feel. I often refuse them unless the situation calls for it as a matter of more than just a precautionary look when being exammined. I do like to be spread open though so I can see why some might find it enjoyable. Princess | 2006-12-24 11:26:04 |
| 516 | 3431 | i just found this link [url=www.globalorgasm.org/] www.globalorgasm.org/ & " As the world counts down to Friday December 22nd, the First Annual Synchronized GlobalOrgasm for Peace Day, the contest is on to see from which cities in the world the most visitors to the Global O website originate. Organizers Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffell will tally the number of visitors to [url=www.globalorgasm.org] www.globalorgasm.org on this not just Good but Great Friday. " | 2006-12-21 14:08:48 |
| 516 | 3432 | I think someone at that site needs to look up a definition of synchronized. | 2006-12-21 14:24:15 |
| 517 | 3435 | Hello, I'm not entirely sure if this is normal or not for women, but I thought I might as well ask... My girlfriend and I have been going strong for about a year now, and everything's been great (with the exception of a few arguments of course).& Now, the problem is... she said recently that she got a crush on a college kid who coached her in speech and debate.& He was 19 years old, her almost 17 like me.& She said that is was harmless and will go away. This kid moved away recently, which is when she decided to tell me this.& She said that the only reason for it ever happening was because they were together in debate so often. That excuse seems rather lame to me, because if that's true how will she do when she gets a job? Have a crush on somebody at every one of those too? It just hurt me a lot; it makes me think that she is still searching for another person to date, and I have been under the impression that we are in a loving serious relationship. She also said (less important, really) that she is a flirty person, and she wants the freedom to be able to flirt with other people.& I said that this would be okay as long as she made sure that they knew she had a boyfriend already and they never touched one another. Am I looking too much into all of this?& Or not enough?& Am I being a push-over with these issues?& Or am I giving her the freedom she needs? I'm very stressed over this, so any help would be appreciated... | 2006-12-22 07:38:22 |
| 517 | 3436 | Update if anyone has taken the time to read this: I talked to her today about it, and apparently her crush on this guy only lasted about a week.& She said that she's over him now, and she felt deeply sorry that it hurt me so much. I still wonder if I am acting properly, though.& Is it okay to have crushes on other people in a serious relationship, or is it not right?& Is it okay to keep flirting with other people in a relationship as well? This morning when I wrote the initial thread, I was very stressed.& I am not stressed now that we have discussed the subject together, but I still wonder. Anyone else going to pipe in here? | 2006-12-22 17:03:10 |
| 517 | 3444 | Haha...wow I keep finding the women I go out seem to think one Relationship isn't enough, the only 3 serious relationships I've had ended with having sex with one person not being enough. THIS IS MY INCREDIBLY SYNICAL AND BIASED OPINION. Women are always focused on the next thing, and whats going to make them happy in the future instead of what they have right now. I guess it stems from nurturing or nesting or whatever, always planning ahead, sometimes this branches to planning future relationships rather than focusing on the current one. (yeah yeah yeah, there are exceptions and probably most of the people on this forum aren't like what I am describing) Honestly though if she would be upset by you flirting with other girls and having crushes on other girls, then she shouldn't be doing anything like that. >:( *goes and climbs in the He-Man Woman Haters Club treehouse* | 2006-12-23 01:22:48 |
| 517 | 3445 | You obviously have a strong affection for her and by her flirting have broken your boundaries. Have you ever talked about your relationship boundaries before? & Do you ‘trust’ her when she says this only lasted for a week? & It might come down to what your arguments were about? And how they were performed? I mean what kind of language was used? And was it a laying of blame type of argument? & For your G/F to say arguments were a cause make me wonder what the arguments were about. | 2006-12-23 05:36:22 |
| 517 | 3446 | I do trust her.& She really hasn't done anything to break my trust in her besides this. The only thing she ever did with the guy was hug him once, and she never pursued a relationship with him. We've talked about boundaries in the sense that we discussed flirting with other people.& I'm not sure if that's what you meant or not... I'm not sure if she's even using the right word when she says she wants to flirt with other people.& She says she never implies any sort of "coming on" to the people she flirts with.& That being said, I think she just likes the attention.& That's odd to me, because I give her more attention than she's ever had, but I guess she just wants attention from other people too. This problem actually came up right after our biggest argument we ever had. We were just talking casually once day, when suddenly she decides to tell me that she is considering going out-of-state for college... My first reaction is of course negative; she can't afford that and it would mean us being apart.& Apparently I asked exactly the wrong question, though: 'What is more important to you?" She stayed angry at me for two days, not talking to me, until we finally made up and she admitted to over-reacting a little.& I'm not sure why it made her so angry, but I know for a fact that if I said that same thing to her, she would have asked me something like that as well.& This, coincidentally, was the same week this college guy was leaving the state... I asked her if she wanted to go out of state to follow this guy, and she said no, that she had been looking into out of state colleges for awhile now.& I asked her if she was just angry at me because he left, she said no. I know she loves me, and I love her.& She's promised not to put me in that situation again, and she promised that she will not leave me for anyone.& I trust her, and I'm not sure if that's wrong or not... but I do.& I sort of left out a lot of details in that story, so if anyone wants those just ask. Anyway, as of now, our relationship is fine.& We're having Christmas Eve together tomorrow, so everything seems to be going good.& I really hope we can keep it that way. :) EDIT: By the way, we never once yelled at each or cursed at each other during our argument, and we never have.& My girlfriend said that she was avoiding talking to me for two days because she didn't want to yell at me, which makes sense.& Trying to calm down and all, we're just not angry people usually. | 2006-12-23 10:57:39 |
| 517 | 3447 | Hello the most important thing is that you were both open with each other about this issue with the crush on another guy. A crush is just that, a crush. That is until one side takes or attempts to take things further. Even long time married folk go through this sort of thing I am sure. Take faith in your own relationship. There are no hard and fast rules for what is right and wrong. What works for you both might not work for another couple. All you can go with is what is right for you. She spoke to you about it, you have said that she never broke your trust so I would leave it there. She knows it hurt you and is sorry. If you keep reading into the situation you might complicate things further instead of celebrating each other fully you will always worry. My advice is dont worry. She never needed to tell you about this at all did she. I mean she could have simply not said anything at all. That implies to me that she is very serious about you and her relationship with you as well. That makes you both very lucky to have found each other. Hope you are having a lovely Christmas eve together today and take care. Princess [user=962]Kundalini[/user] wrote: "I do trust her. She really hasn't done anything to break my trust in her besides this. The only thing she ever did with the guy was hug him once, and she never pursued a relationship with him. We've talked about boundaries in the sense that we discussed flirting with other people. I'm not sure if that's what you meant or not... I'm not sure if she's even using the right word when she says she wants to flirt with other people. She says she never implies any sort of "coming on" to the people she flirts with. That being said, I think she just likes the attention. That's odd to me, because I give her more attention than she's ever had, but I guess she just wants attention from other people too. This problem actually came up right after our biggest argument we ever had. We were just talking casually once day, when suddenly she decides to tell me that she is considering going out-of-state for college... My first reaction is of course negative; she can't afford that and it would mean us being apart. Apparently I asked exactly the wrong question, though: 'What is more important to you?" She stayed angry at me for two days, not talking to me, until we finally made up and she admitted to over-reacting. I'm not sure why it made her so angry, but I know for a fact that if I said that same thing to her, she would have asked me something like that as well. This, coincidentally, was the same week this college guy was leaving the state... I asked her if she wanted to go out of state to follow this guy, and she said no, that she had been looking into out of state colleges for awhile now. I asked her if she was just angry at me because he left, she said no. I know she loves me, and I love her. She's promised not to put me in that situation again, and she promised that she will not leave me for anyone. I trust her, and I'm not sure if that's wrong or not... but I do. I sort of left out a lot of details in that story, so if anyone wants those just ask. Anyway, as of now, our relationship is fine. We're having Christmas Eve together tomorrow, so everything seems to be going good. I really hope we can keep it that way. :) EDIT: By the way, we never once yelled at each or cursed at each other during our argument, and we never have. My girlfriend said that she was avoiding talking to me for two days because she didn't want to yell at me, which makes sense. Trying to calm down and all, we're just not angry people usually. " | 2006-12-24 11:15:08 |
| 517 | 3449 | I agree with Princess on this.& Your girlfriend could have gone without telling you about this crush.& It wasn't needed because it has made you question things and have you worry. In my personal opinion, I think with any relationship the "you can look but not touch" rule can apply.& I know my boyfriend checks girls out, and he knows I check guys out, but we trust each other to not act out on any of that.& We love each other and plan on staying together for forever.& We both aren't usually the type to fight either.& A few disagreements here or there.& It was a great idea for you both to talk about it.& Communication is so important and it is something that people must not go without. I hope everything has cleared up and you both enjoyed your holiday! :) | 2006-12-27 06:25:18 |