Old Discussion Forum - From 2005 to 2009
Female Sexuality - 2006 Topics: Part 1 of 2


Topic ID Post ID Post Text Date & Time
190 935 A lady-friend of mine is back home over the winter break with her parents who live out in the middle of nowhere. She wants to know some good ideas of what she can use as a sex toy that you could find anywhere, but wouldn't obviously be figured out as a sex toy (her parents are kinda nosy and uptight). She's also concerned about safety and hygiene. Anything I could pass along to her would be great. 2006-01-01 08:53:39
190 936 Hi, Regular muscle massagers are an option, as are electric tooth brushes. Many items normally in the bedroom or bathroom will work for insertion, like brush handles, mirror handles, and bottle tops. A visit to the toy and infant care sections of your local store should provide some suitable items. As long is it wont break and& has no rough edges it should be safe to use. The shared masturbation techniques will provide some ideas, and some mental stimulation to enhance the sessions using the good old reliable fingers. Brad 2006-01-01 15:02:01
190 944 Hi, & I recently found out that my lady shaver has very useful vibrations ;) & Stephanie 2006-01-03 13:18:47
190 980 [user=223]miss doolittle[/user] wrote: "Hi, & I recently found out that my lady shaver has very useful vibrations ;) & Stephanie " When I read your reply, it reminded me of the Venus Vibrations razor.& She could always use that... by using the handle, but making sure she doesn't put the razor head onto it. I once used my regular Venus Razor to masturbate in the shower because on the handle it has ridges which added great pleasure to my session. 2006-01-06 08:47:30
190 2834
2006-09-25 08:42:42
191 940 How many of you have husbands that enjoys vaginal smells.& My husband is totally turned on by the smell of my vagina when& I haven't showed.& Nothing fishy or anything just unwashed.& He says that this is a real turn on.& I know that the sex is great and I really enjoy the attention that I get in bed! 2006-01-03 01:46:33
191 941 Have you had a smell yourself? Before you laugh, I don't mean bending your head around and trying to stick your own face between your legs and breaking your spine, I mean putting your fingers down there then smelling your fingers. If you do, you'll probably find that it is sort of a musky sweetish type smell. Not at all unpleasant and it is specifically designed to turn men on. Great eh? Thats why your husband likes it so much. As long as you look after your genital area, it should always have it's own scent like that. 2006-01-03 11:59:19
191 942 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "If you do, you'll probably find that it is sort of a musky sweetish type smell. Not at all unpleasant and it is specifically designed to turn men on. Great eh? Thats why your husband likes it so much. As long as you look after your genital area, it should always have it's own scent like that. "But is this a normal male repsonse and I was a virgin when we married and had no other sexual & experiences.& We have been married a while and he just started telling me this.& I really have no problem with his request, it is simple and a turn on for us both. 2006-01-03 12:06:57
191 945 If you have no problem, why ask if it is normal? When I said it is designed to turn men on, that was another way of saying it is normal. The only difference being that some men might actually speak up and tell their partner they like it and others might not. As long as you are both enjoying your sex lives and there is no harm caused to either party, no need to worry, just enjoy. Once you start worrying about everything, sex becomes spoilt. 2006-01-04 11:56:49
191 947 Being extremely limited with my experiences, I wanted to have some insight to if perhaps there could have been something else that I might need to address. Yes, I am happy and as I forestated this had never been mentioned.& Sometimes being able talk with others will help you personally.& & 2006-01-04 14:23:51
191 949 my bf complained before about how my vagina smells... although my own smell turned me on so much that the first thing I want to do after he gives me oral sex is kiss him :? hope this is not too wierd or disgusting :) He's coming around though... last few times he told he no longer minds the smell and is actually starting to like it I guess sometimes you have to give him sometime to associate that musky scent with sex I personally find scents and smell during sex very arousing and very important for me. How about the other women here? 2006-01-04 14:55:06
191 950 I suppose it's possible for a person to not be used to the scent at first but start to like it as they learn to associate it with sexual enjoyment. Sort of like an acquired taste if you like. 2006-01-04 15:33:30
191 952 Thanks for the input.& I guess perhaps I was a little worried even though I was enjoying the sex with him.& I really need to appreciate that he was so honest about what he likes. 2006-01-04 16:10:45
191 956 Hi from a mans point of veiw yes its very normal to be turned on by the smell of a womens vagina. I personally love to go down then kiss my wife,now my wife does not like either I love it. so my hat is off to you& women who learn to love your own body. I,ve been married 20yrs so i work alot. you should be able to feel the same satifaction. 2006-01-05 16:43:58
191 959 I'm male, im not a pervert i am on this site to get information about the female anatomy so i can please my girlfriend in even more ways than i already do. I have performed cunninlingus on my girlfriend (i believe that to be the word?) and i dont dislike the taste or like it, all i know is that attention should be focused on the clitoral area when doing this, it has gotten me great results. 2006-01-05 20:08:36
191 976 [user=387]lew[/user] wrote: "Hi from a mans point of veiw yes its very normal to be turned on by the smell of a womens vagina. I personally love to go down then kiss my wife,now my wife does not like either I love it. so my hat is off to you& women who learn to love your own body. I,ve been married 20yrs so i work alot. you should be able to feel the same satifaction."I must say that I alway like that he is aroused and I must say I am always turned on.& 2006-01-06 08:31:39
191 977 [user=387]lew[/user] wrote: "Hi from a mans point of veiw yes its very normal to be turned on by the smell of a womens vagina. I personally love to go down then kiss my wife,now my wife does not like either I love it. so my hat is off to you& women who learn to love your own body. I,ve been married 20yrs so i work alot. you should be able to feel the same satifaction."I must say that I alway like that he is aroused and I must say I am always turned on.& 2006-01-06 08:31:44
191 979 [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: "my bf complained before about how my vagina smells... although my own smell turned me on so much that the first thing I want to do after he gives me oral sex is kiss him :? hope this is not too wierd or disgusting :) He's coming around though... last few times he told he no longer minds the smell and is actually starting to like it I guess sometimes you have to give him sometime to associate that musky scent with sex I personally find scents and smell during sex very arousing and very important for me. How about the other women here?" & I'm the same way, Kay.& After my boyfriend performs oral sex on me, I give him a big kiss.& I always got turned on by my own smell and taste, so kissing him after pleasuring me just adds to it.& Also, after I give head to my boyfriend he always places his hand on my& neck and& kisses me.& I remember one time after he was done performing oral sex on me, and I went to kiss him he gave me a weird face like I would be& disgusted& but after a bit& I think he realized I don't mind it at all, he's gotten used to it.& Which is why I don't find it weird for him to want to kiss me after I gave him head. 2006-01-06 08:43:43
191 992 I'm glad to see that there are others that enjoy their own scent. At first I thought myself disgusting but now I find it erotic and sexual. 2006-01-07 05:04:22
191 997 I agree with you, what is sex without scents? if we are healthy and clean we should smell "delicious". Our vulvas smelll to atract& sex is basic chemistry between male and females. I do believe taht fresh panties after being worn for a while& must smell fantastic. Luisa 2006-01-07 15:28:07
191 1000 I agree about the worn panties.& I have found them to be a turn on.& I would love to see my husband sniffing some that I have worn all day.& Something about that is extremely erotic.& Don't you think???? 2006-01-07 19:29:59
191 1001 Yes Camy it is veryyyyyyy! erotic seeing somebody smelling your worn, wet panties and responding sexually to the smell... Luisa 2006-01-07 19:35:52
191 1002 I would have never admitted that out loud (LOL) -- I don't think.& & I thought about leaving them in the middle of the floor after we've had sex (just a little soiled).. Do you think that he would bite?& He loves to:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P& sniff my vagina, so I thought that this would work. 2006-01-07 19:45:17
191 1003 Camy..I used to leave them crumpled under the pillow and when my lover woke found them...anddddd ! 9 out of 10 times it did the job he,he,he Luisa 2006-01-07 19:53:55
191 1005 I have been a bad girl then.& I have never done anything with panties.& (DON'T THINK TO BAD OF ME!) I have mastubated with his pillow between my leg and later wiped with it. 2006-01-07 20:05:36
191 1007 I'd bet more guys sniff their significant other's panties than you might think. However, guys are really insecure and afraid of rejection, and they think that doing stuff like that comes across as desperate and gets more of a negative reaction from women than a positive one, so they do it in private. I think another part of the reason is that men are trained to think that discussing a woman's appearance, scent, breath, taste, or anything else along those lines is dangerous territories (think of the classic "honey, does this dress make me look fat?" question). It's not really a topic most men are willing to discuss with women. I thought my last girlfriend's scent was great, but I never mentioned it to her. Even if she had said it would please her to know I liked her scent, I'm not sure I would have had the guts to actually say it. 2006-01-08 06:45:46
191 1008 I can't imagine a woman would be offended if her lover admitted to loving her scent. My bf never sniffed my panties :( although if I ever saw him it would be a huge turn for me! I, on the other hand, sniffed his underwear alot and I just love his scent, gives me butterflies in my stomach; I also hate it when he's wearing a fresh clean pyjamas, the used ones have his scent on them, smelling that before falling asleep is really pleasant! 2006-01-08 08:20:56
191 1012 well, loving her scent and sniffing her panties are two different things because you're doing it without her. it's the kind of thing a guy would be ridiculed about in a locker room or hanging out with a bunch of friends, especially if he got caught doing it and his woman didn't approve of it, because lets be honest here; there are a lot of women who have shame issues with sex that would be mortified to see that kind of thing. That kind of person isn't likely to be visiting a board like this, though, so you're not likely to get that side of the discussion here unfortunately. 2006-01-08 09:53:06
191 1017 I think all the stuff you ladies are talking about is such a turn on for us men. The thing that some men are reserved about doing is not knowing how far to take it. If I was to get caught smelling panties I'm considered a pervert,not a good person. I do and I masturbate because thats the closes I will get to that lovely thing somtimes.I just love to& here that thiers women out there that can be open. We men have to know how far we can go. The kissen after oral sex is the best, it's like you love my body like I love your's. 2006-01-08 11:51:23
191 1019 Yes, I know all the restrictions that society puts on how we should act or react to situations.& But, I have always tried to be a free thinker.& Thinking outside of the box! So for me catching or watching a man as he sniffs my& panties would only make me want him; a realy turn on for many women such as myself.& To all the panties sniffers-------Keep up the good work!:P 2006-01-08 16:15:31
191 1027 Let's hear it for the naturally fragrant vulva! So many of you who said it's designed to attract men are exactly right. I posted a few weeks ago about this topic (specifically about cunnilingus), and was surprised I got only one response. I was trying to get some women's opinions about cunnilingus, as my wife is so strongly against it. Guess I was looking for a little reassurance that I'm not the pervert she thinks I am. 2006-01-09 09:35:00
193 957 i know montgomery glands vary in size and numbers from woman to woman but what is the discharge supposed to be like? i know their purpose is to lubricate the areola tissue when pregnant, but i would think it would then be liquid-like. i am not pregnant nor have i ever been. i am 27 yrs old and have many montgomery glands- unfortunately. i hate them, but what i hate most is they are ALWAYS visible and erect. if i pinch them slighty a thick pus-like& whitish or sometimes hard whitish substance comes out. it seems more like a pimple, than an lubricating secretion- i am wondering is this normal- or do i need to change my diet or get it checked out or something???? its been like this since i was 19 when the glands first appeared. i have trouble with bad acne on my face, neck, chest and sometimes around my breasts. could there be something going on causing pimples and thick montgomery gland fliud???- are their herbs or vitamins that can help? & 2006-01-05 18:00:16
193 973 Hello ask your doctor or Well Woman clinic for an exammination and also it may be worth while getting your Testosterone levels checked along with your Thyroid Gland's hormone output. Acne at age 27 in a woman who has never been pregnant could be a sign of hormone imbalance. Always as a rule of thumb, if you are not happy about something or it just does not appear correct, get a professional opinion. Princess 2006-01-06 07:00:19
193 983 Yeah, I suffer with the acne at 26 and get it in the same places although& I don't have a problem with those glands or anything....that I know of. I had really bad problems with periods before going on the pill and I'm going to see a doc about all of this on Monday to see if I have a harmone inbalance or something that stops my skin from finally clearing up and also because of the skin picking problem it has caused and fuels. 2006-01-06 11:24:29
193 1032 thank you, i agree with the testosterone/ hormone level probability. i have suffered from bad acne since i was 13 as well as& irratable moodswings, severe depression, weakness, lack of energy,& lack of motivation& and interest in anything,& and& low labido for a very long time now and i rescently researched low testosterone in woman. i have never had to be on the pill, since my husband has had a vasectomy. but i have been on oral tetracycline for the acne and a couple different depression drugs like zoloft and a form of prozac for the mental issues but NOTHING has worked. i think i have to find a doctor i can trust since mine seems to just prescribe things with out researching the actual problem first. i went to her because i thought i had asthma symptoms and she gave me these really expensive antibiotics that cost like $60 for 5 pills, saying i just have a residual cough from a cold i had 2 months prior- well 5 months later: i still think its asthma. and dont feel like going back to her. i went to a different doc before her for my acne. well, i told her how i used every topical thing out there including proactive as seen on tv. i told her i thought it was a chemical imbalance or something-& she looked at my back and shoulders(which have scares from so much acne)& and said- well, ive seen worse...then prescribed me yet some more 'topical solution' that was& a pain to put all over my body and did nothing but make me smell bad. i was seriously pissed. thats not even half of what i could go on about.... i was wondering if i could take a product called Gamma-o (for women). its supposed to be natural and help with hormone imbalances like peri and menoposal issues& . also& maybe change my diet since they say things like exercise, green leafy veggies, soybeans, miso, tofu, rice bran, flaxseed, zinc, magnesium, maca and siberian gingseng can help boost testosterone levels naturally. i feel that being depressed for so long has caused me to be less active and healthy all around. what do u think about herbal, vitamin, and or natural hormone boosting suppliments? every time i look up these things i find weightlifting sights and such with prohormone boosting stuff like androstenediol and stuff but if you take too much you get 'dudely'& - like deep voice, facial hair, enlarged& female 'parts'& etc. Gamma-o for woman is not supposed to cause this. ( www.gammao.com& ) anyway, i know i should go to the doctor but they never do what i request. and i always spend money on things that dont work. and never get to find out whats really wrong. thanks, elizabeth 2006-01-09 18:28:25
193 1033 P.S... i have explained all this to doctors before yet they just put me on antidepressants without running tests. they checked my thyroid once when i went in for a panic attack- i honestly thought i was going to die. i was hyperventalating and couldnt unclench my fists or feel my legs but they never called me with results- so i assumed all was ok... i found out later that if i wanted to know the results i'd have to go down there and request them. STUPID huh? i hate doctors. 2006-01-09 18:35:42
193 1039 Hi Elizabeth, Change doctors. Simple as. You must get your hormones checked out as soon as possible no two ways about it. I have been through the mill forwards and backwards over the years myself so have learnt the hard way. All these symptoms could be indicators of other more serious conditions that need medical attention. You could also end up spending hundreds of dollars on herbal remedies/suppliments, homeopathy treatments, other alternative remedies, etc. But until you know for sure what is going on inside your blood stream, there is little point is there. Once you get a proper reading from a series of blood tests, then no amount of herbal anything is going to help you as you dont know what you are taking them to boost or not if that makes sense? I had eight small vials of blood taken from me today after I had to fast by not eating or drinking anything accept water for 24 hours beforehand. This was after shouting on Thursday of last week because I was not being heard. Do what you have to do but get the blood tests done. You are so young and owe it to yourself to take care of yourself properly. Sure, vitamins B6, B12, C, corean gingsing, fish oil, starflower oil, evening primrose oil, beta carateen, iron, magnesium, calcium, wild yam, hibiscous and a whole heap of others are going to do you the power of good but in the long run, a hormone related problem needs to be tackled aggressively with proper treatment conventional or alternative doesnt really matter as long as you know specifically what you are treating. Take my advice, insist on your testosterone, adrenal and thyroid glands, progesterone, estrogen, insulin and colestral levels being tested with blood tests. Then you will have the big picture. You only get one body in this life so make a fuss, make a noise but get the job done. Believe me when I tell you that I do know how you feel and have been there. Tackling these people can be really stressful and emotionally draining. You have found inner strength enough to come on here and ask for advice. Write it all down then phone up and read what you need to say. Insist. If you are feeling weak at the time, tell the person who answers the phone. If they treat you in a way that you do not like, say so, then move on and carry on with your mission, to arrange blood tests for yourself. You go for it I have every faith in your ability to express how important this is for your own peace of mind. Princess 2006-01-10 18:46:53
193 1043 thank you for your support and understanding. i really just need to get the guts to walk in and demand the things i want instead of putting my& health and care in someone else's hands just because they are pushy and have a degree. my foremost problem above all others is im& passive and a procrastinator. thanks elizabeth 2006-01-10 21:23:53
193 1045 & I agree with princess. All too often, medical proffessionals are eager to skip corners and it's because most of us, myself included, are not authoritive enough to demand further investigation so we settle for what they do offer which is often of no help at all. 2006-01-11 09:20:27
194 963 Hi all, this info MIGHT sound braggy but its not I lost my virginity and lasted 2 hours-she didnt orgasm, i could last but my form was SLOPPY. the 5th time we had sex she was on top and she orgasmd (her previous b/f couldnt get her to orgasm and due to this she was VERY pleased and the noises she made definitely showed me she did) but i was longing to be able to do that with me on top, luckily i got there in the end, and while my success of giving her an orgasm before me isnt perfect (id say i get her there before or during me 95% of the time) i feel i need to give her new pleasured, i perform oral and she loves that, is there anything else i could try? she's also never had clitoral orgasms as her prev b/f couldnt find it but i could and that gives her good pleasure, her legs go when i do it and its quite a quick orgasm compared to penetration orgasms, id appreciate any new ways of pleasing her, thankyou in advance for all help 2006-01-05 20:27:47
194 964 Id also like to add, when she orgasms her vagina clenches me which i LOVE, and when this happens if i begin thrusting again she kind of has miniature build-up orgasms, why is this? and is there any way of manipulating it to get more pleasure for her? I am a person who gets REALLY turned on and happy when my partner is pleased, 2006-01-05 20:32:46
195 981 Hello, I recently have become sexually active, and when I had sex with my boyfriend he said he can't really feel that much with a condom on.& I do recall reading before about putting lube in the tip of the condom.& It's supposed to make it feel better for him and make it feel more like he's having sex without a condom. I talked to a friend about what I had read, and he said I would just have to be careful that the condom wouldn't slip off, but that it was worth a try.& Have any of you heard of& this before? 2006-01-06 08:53:11
195 987 he could try a thinner condom, but thinner condoms are more likely to rip. frankly, though, the slight decrease in sensitivity from a condom shouldn't be a complaint since it will help him last longer. from my own experiences, condoms don't decrease the sensation that much, so unless he has other issues there shouldn't be any reason he couldn't climax with a condom on. also, I hate to be cynical, but the lack of feeling complaint is also used by some men to guilt-trip their partners into having unprotected sex. male sexuality and psychology is a lot more complicated than most women think, and included in that are myths and misconceptions about the link between masculinity and unprotected sex. 2006-01-06 17:07:21
195 991 I couldn't agree with you more.& But I keep reminding him that I'm in no need of having a child right now.& A baby isn't something I need to have to add onto my life.& He could feel it& better& when he thrusted faster, which made him orgasm way way way before I did. I think we just need& a little bit more practice. :P;) 2006-01-07 01:00:15
195 994 Hi, It isn't just pregnancy you have to concern yourself with, as sexually transmitted infections are more common than people like to admit. Women generally wont know they have a STI unless they are tested by their doctor, which should be done annually. I gather STI's a very common in the college age group. If a guy can't feel anything with a condom on then find another sexual activity to engage in. Brad 2006-01-07 14:44:39
195 998 I agree, The guy I am currently dating refuses to wear a condom because he says he doesn't enjoy it as much with one on.& I have reluctantly accepted that and have been left with taking birth control myself.& The STD risk is a good point. & Katie 2006-01-07 16:14:08
195 999 [user=383]katie.[/user] wrote: "I agree, The guy I am currently dating refuses to wear a condom because he says he doesn't enjoy it as much with one on. I have reluctantly accepted that and have been left with taking birth control myself. The STD risk is a good point. Katie " the only time you should ever have unprotected sex is A) if you are trying to get pregnant, B) if you have been in an exclusive relationship with your partner and you are sure they aren't sleeping with anyone, and they have tested clean for STDs for more than 6 months. Some STDs take several months to manifest themselves on blood tests (and, of course, if you are also free of STDs), or C) you are completely sure that your partner is a virgin, which is not always easy to tell. 2006-01-07 17:44:23
195 1020 [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "[user=383]katie.[/user] wrote: "I agree, The guy I am currently dating refuses to wear a condom because he says he doesn't enjoy it as much with one on. I have reluctantly accepted that and have been left with taking birth control myself. The STD risk is a good point. Katie " the only time you should ever have unprotected sex is A) if you are trying to get pregnant, B) if you have been in an exclusive relationship with your partner and you are sure they aren't sleeping with anyone, and they have tested clean for STDs for more than 6 months. Some STDs take several months to manifest themselves on blood tests (and, of course, if you are also free of STDs), or C) you are completely sure that your partner is a virgin, which is not always easy to tell." Well I want to get pregnant at some point but probably not now, that is why I am taking birth control. He isn't a virgin but I am comfortable with the exclusiveness of our relationship. 2006-01-08 18:55:06
195 1023 but how long have you been exclusive, how long has it been since he was tested, and has he been tested since you started sleeping with him? you're not only sleeping with him, but with all of his past partners as well. 2006-01-09 04:00:44
196 984 I really enjoy anal sex, but I love the payoff even more.& I have this thing about his hot juices inside my ass.& Are there any other women who love the feeling that comes with allowing a man to come inside& their ass?& Do you like anal sex?& What is your experience?& How does your man feel about the act? I feel almost enpowered after sex, I find it to be a real turn on!!!!!:P:P:P & 2006-01-06 12:34:34
196 985 It is wonderful specially since we , women have more nerve endings than men... If your man knows how to do it right it is a joy..I do agree wiht you 100% Luisa 2006-01-06 16:12:28
196 1085 aight then, tell me how to do it!& i couldnt even work a finger in really, let alone my cock 2006-01-24 00:58:37
196 1209 Well, you always start off slow. A well lubricated finger helps and dont push too far in straight away. Spend a little time acustomising the outer ring to inward stimulation. Once you feel& you can go further in, a little in out motion gets this inner ring also acustomed to the inward motion. She will love all of this if it is done in a gentle put persuasive and probing manner. I love being fucked in the ass and having my partner come inside me. Usually he strokes the front of me so I come also very easily. The only problem I have is that is makes me really horney for more. I really could do with two men, one for both my vagina and my ass! & 2006-02-24 21:45:07
198 1004 Why is it when a woman is confident and sexual aggressive many people tend to think that their is something wrong with her?& As though she has been abused or something terrible has happened in her life earlier, and this is what causes her to be this way? I find that I have a very strong sexual drive with an appetite that I am comfortable expressing with devotion.& A willingness to be experimental and for that I feel that society sometimes judges women in a manner that is not flattering.& My question is:& Do you feel degraded when you act out your wildest desire (your animal instinct) with no limits to what you are willing to do; to please both your partner and yourself?& When the sky is the limit and the outcome is pure pleasure, pure satisfaction!!!!!& Or, do you always find your self being in total control, timid (not really allowing yourself to tap into your inner most deepest desires??????? 2006-01-07 20:01:01
198 1006 The nearly universal rule with men regarding what they seek in a woman is this classic catch-phrase: "I want a lady on the street and a freak in the bed." Some guys may not want a freak in the bed, but no guy wants a freak on the street. Sexually agressive women threaten masculinity because men are raised to be the agressive ones. The mean who can deal with the agressiveness still prefer that it be expressed behind closed doors. Personally, I don't want to be with a woman who is conflicted about sex or doesn't openly enjoy it, but but neither do I want a woman who is agressive to the point of being dominating. Men generally love it when a woman initiates intimacy, but it becomes an unsettling role reversal or sorts when she becomes too agressive and dominant. Of course, there are some exceptions as there are with all things in life, but that's about the mindset of the typical guy. Of course, it's a fact that women who are abused have a tendency towards promiscuity which often manifests itself as an agressive sexual appetite. People know it, so they make the connection when they see a sexually agressive woman that she must be promiscuous and therefore have been abused. They don't understand that the cause and effect doesn't work in reverse, but most people aren't really very logical by nature. 2006-01-08 05:55:38
198 1013 Women who are naturally just sexually confident are lucky in a way. It could be down to the plain fact that they are one of the few women who are happy with their body which the rest of us can only dream of being after growing up in a society that judges us based upon our physical appearance etc... Magazines seem to display pics of celebs looking not their best and make callous comments thinking they are making the rest of us feel better. What they fail to realise is that whilst they make callous comments about orange peel on a celebs legs or spots of a celebs face or flab anywhere on a celebs body, these features will carry on being viewed as being just as unnacceptable when they are on our bodies as well and make& us feel crap about them. This seems more common in women because we tend to be judged more from our physical appearance and are not deemed as adequate if we aren't good looking. The fashion industry is more directed towards us women, same as cosmetics, because we are the ones who are required to make ourselves look beautiful to comform. I was badly bullied at school purely because people didn't view me as being good looking. Boys never fancied me and I have, as a result, had a very hard time trying to convince myself that I am adequate and these physical hang-ups can seriously kill a womans confidence in bed. Men are often rated on other aspects. Sometimes, these can be just as damaging but on other ways. 2006-01-08 09:56:40
198 1016 Hi Camy it looks we are having a forum of 2 he,he, Men have been for centuries the "providers and protectors" and they don't feel too happy when a woman says" this is what I want in bed" and it is not theri fault so we have to play the game until men understand that we have the same desires and sex drive; they are a lot of them that already know and they are wonderful. That's why women feel freer with another female. Kisses Luisa 2006-01-08 11:01:26
198 1018 Luisa1 your right I remember starting out in my relationship,It was just do it not much talking about nothing. Then the once in two months did'nt work for me so& I brought home a book. (All About Sex) I gave it to her and said let's read it together. NOT GOOD: It took what she had and steped on it sort of speak,but if it were to come from a women it would of been something kinda of soft you might say,would of been ok. she is 46 and masturbated once after I brought home a toy, To her thats bad girl stuff. But look at most of us we can show are kids some pictures of 3 people that just got killed and blood everywhere but a picture of a viberator, wont happen,although sex can help alot of marriages and keep familys together women get the bad rap. They should be able to enjoy sex,love,what ever you want to call it. so camy enjoy the gift you have thers alot of women who would love to have what you have. these web site's are nice to express yourself and not get enbarrest. I still feel uncomfortable when my wife talks open about sex if she get's tipsy wont happen if she's sober in public. 2006-01-08 12:36:31
199 1009 My b/f and I played w/ a vibrator the other night. It was a long and intense *session*. :P& The next morning I was sore. :(& Inside my vagina on my *wall* was a large, hard, sore bump. Anyone ever expirence this? Anyone know what this is? It's been& one week and it is still....there :? 2006-01-08 09:21:07
199 1010 I know I have a bump in mine too on the front wall of the vagina. People say this is the G-spot and if you press on it, it gives you the sensation of wanting to pee. Maybe because you had a long intense session, it got a little over stimulated and a bit sore. Still, even if the soreness goes, the bump would stay if it's the same one I'm thinking of. If you're still worried and it doesn't go away soon, getting yourself checked out will put your mind at rest. 2006-01-08 09:36:56
199 1011 or it could simply be a welt. the vaginal membranes are very delicate and it's not very difficult to irritate them, especially without enough lubrication. 2006-01-08 09:46:18
199 1014 When I press on mine ...it& just hurts. :(& It is VERY large and very sore! I would say it is about the size of a LARGE marble. It is inside of me ...on the right. I am thinking perhaps it got bruised by the vibrator? You know, hit too hard a few times. Honestly, I am scared. I tried soaking in a bathtub, not wearing panties or tight fitting clothes. I am not sure if I should give it some time or go get it checked out. The problem with that is I am new to the area and dont have a job OR medical insurance. That's pretty much why I thought I would post my question here.& Thanks for your reply :D 2006-01-08 10:51:09
199 1015 Oh, i was plenty lubricated! :D& Yes, it does remind me of a welt. Good description of it! I am thinking it got *wacked hard* a few too many times. I am just hoping it is nothing serious. Thanks for your reply :)& it is greatly appreciated! 2006-01-08 10:54:02
199 1022 I would give it some more time and NOT touch it or mess around with it (don't put any creams, or even let bath water in it. your body chemistry is designed to heal things like that on its own), because that could just irritate it even more. Just let your body deal with it. Check again in several days to see if its gone (I'm assuming that you can't feel it inside you already without touching it. If you can, you should be able to tell if its going away without having to touch it.) If it doesn't go away on its own, then think about going to a doctor. 2006-01-08 23:05:45
199 1028 I was taking a bath once a day. I thought perhaps the warm water would help bring it to a *head*. But, on your advice, I won't. I can feel it. I can feel it when I am standing, I can feel it when I walk and at times I am& VERY uncomfortable sitting. I was going to make an appointment to see a doctor today but, I decided to hold off for a few more days to see what happens. I appreciate your reply! Thanks :) 2006-01-09 10:05:18
199 1037 Hi Sweetpea You may need antibiotics if the bump is painful as it may be infected from deep inside itself. Please please go get this checked out at the doctors. Never dice with your delicate area, it is like playing Russian Roulette. Please just take yourself along to a doctors as soon as possible and accept an emergency appointment if necessary. This could be anything and take it from one who knows, dont just guess. Get this checked properly. Princess 2006-01-10 18:26:29
199 1038 Thank you for your reply Princess. I have been doing some research on this. I believe when I was younger I had two similar situations to the one I have now but, caused by different things. I think one of my Bartholin glands has become infected. I do plan on calling a doctor tomorrow to have it checked out. The reasons I have been procrastinating is because the two I have had in the past "burst" on their own and secondly I have been trying to educate myself. Again, thank you :) 2006-01-10 18:32:48
199 1041 Hi Sweetpea Have you read my posts about Abseces on the outer labia? Scary stuff these lumps. Good luck with phoning the doctors tomorrow and I have everything crossed for you that the gland is not infected nor has to be removed. It could just be something else. Read the thread I mention and let me know what you think. Princess 2006-01-10 18:59:03
199 1042 Hi Princess On your advice,& I read the thread. I dont think "my situation" is the same. My "lump" was caused from a eager b/f with a vibrator :D& this, I know. My "lump" is not that painful that i need to take a pain killer and it didnt start out small and get to the size it is. It pretty much automatically grew to that size and stayed that size. Like I said, I am going to call a doctor tomorrow to get checked out. Again, thanks for the advice, encouragement and thoughts :) & & 2006-01-10 19:33:05
199 1697 Can you point me to this thread?& Thank you. 2006-06-14 22:31:25
199 1698 Hi, Here is the link: [url=femalesexuality.mywowbb.com/forum7/155.html] femalesexuality.mywowbb.com/forum7/155.html Brad 2006-06-14 22:54:55
201 1024 I watch Howard Stern on TV a lot, and one of the topics that comes up almost daily is Howard Stern self-consciously joking about the small size of his penis. This inspired me to make this post about size myths. I think it's fair to say that most men are self conscious about their penis and most women are self conscious about their breasts, and a lot of it tends to be perpetuated by TV and magazines. A lot of women believe that men think bigger is always better for breasts, and a lot of men think women always prefer the biggest penis possible. So here is the question: If you are a woman, what size penis do you prefer? This applies to both length and width, by the way. You can use standard or metric measurements (1 inch is 2.54cm for those who don't know), and of course it's just a rough estimate at your preferred size, I don't expect anyone to go hunting for a measuring tape :P. Of course, any virgins may make estimates from any experience with sex toys/masturbation they may have had. If you are a man, what size breasts do you prefer? If you don't know breast sizes, this page [url] www.afraidtoask.com/breast/breastsize.html has a series of photographs for the most common sizes. The photographs are bust shots of unclothed women, so it might not be appropriate to check the page from a public/work computer. 2006-01-09 05:30:27
201 1025 HAHA, in my case, the smaller the penis, the better purely because of my vag problem but then very few men ever heard of vaginismus unless they have or had a partner who had it or are a medical professional who has heard of it. Small penised men would appreciate a vag woman in a way, lol. Us women in the vag groups do joke about this, lol. Obviously, girth would be a factor for me with& smaller being better& but length can be a factor for any women because I hear a lot complain about how much it hurts when the tip of the penis bumps against their cervix. I think a lot of women like men with large penis's not just because it might give them more sensation during intercourse but it inflates their own ego the fact that they have bagged a desirable man with a large tackle. I read up a lot that most men prefer average sized medium boobs over massive ones and prefer real ones to those fake balloon shaped ones but that some do prefer smaller boobs and a lot don't really mind, it varies, I suppose. My boobs are average sized (C cup) so I don't worry that much about those. I wouldn't want them bigger though, they become a pain in the chest..and back. My mum knows that all too well. 2006-01-09 07:47:29
201 1026 Male responding here... I prefer medium-sized breasts, slightly on the smaller side. I consulted the Web site dfs3 so kindly posted (ahhh, thank you Lord, not only for making breasts but for friends like dfs3). My "preference zone" is between the 32B's and 36C's shown, although I'd be quite happy with most up to about the 40D's shown. (And guess what: if you're a sweetheart with a radiant, positive personality, I wouldn't care if they were 28 Triple-A's or 54 Triple-R's.) I must confess surprise about some of the sizes shown. I would have thought that the larger numbers would look a whole lot bigger. I have a female friend I've never met who tells me her breasts are 41DD, and at times I've imagined them to be the size of beach balls -- not so, according to the aforementioned Web site. Anyway, thanks for asking my opinion. 2006-01-09 09:24:22
201 1029 Female Responding - Yes, guys, sorry but size does matter! Especially girth. It has to be thick enough to rub friction against the vaginal walls. I love my husband dearly, but he is on the small side of average and I have never had a real orgasm with him, I have to masterbate (Which I do often) My first husband had a big penis and oooh, I miss that part of him every day! (That's the only part that I miss! :P& ) 2006-01-09 14:19:35
201 1062 I personally prefer B-C cups, D's i can deal with but meh...bit too big for my liking, i like a good B-C cup, its nice. My penis is a bit under 6 1/2" length girth its 4" I think, something like that I have heard so many averages & least is 5 3/4" middle is the 6" mark and most is 6 1/2" mark which one is it? & I was worried when my g/f told me her past b/f was 7 1/2" because i thought she wouldnt find sex as pleasurable, then i found out he never got her ot orgasm due to his premature ejaculation problem and i have no problem getting my g/f to cum though i do have my bad days like everyone else does so nothings perfect but im content with my performance 2006-01-16 00:01:33
201 1084 fact is, its the same as anything else, sopme girls willlike it big, others, wont some guys like big breasts, many dont its al about preferance 2006-01-24 00:49:12
201 1091 Hi good question. The Size Myth topic is one that is the million dollar / pounds question isnt it. My own personal preference is nothing to do with size at all. It is whether the guy is interesting to me and whether they are comfortable with their own size and shape. It is a turn off, completely, when a guy is wondering about the size and whether it is enough or not. Princess 2006-01-25 13:43:41
201 1727 [user=394]storm_chaser[/user] wrote: "Female Responding - Yes, guys, sorry but size does matter! Especially girth. It has to be thick enough to rub friction against the vaginal walls. I love my husband dearly, but he is on the small side of average and I have never had a real orgasm with him, I have to masterbate (Which I do often) My first husband had a big penis and oooh, I miss that part of him every day! (That's the only part that I miss! :P )" Hmm.. maybe try this -- have your husband lay down beside you, legs interwixed (I'm not good with sexual position labels) with yours, you laying on your back, his penis entering you.& Head only go in for 9 times slowly then fully in and slowly 1 time, then 8 head 2 full in, then decrease head in and increase full in while stroking your clitoris at same time and from that point experiment.& Maybe it will give you the orgasmic satisfaction to make up the size difference?& My wife LOVES it, sent her through the orgasmic wall, exploding constantly... 2006-06-19 14:39:04
201 2012 I like& between medium breast and a little& on the small side of large breasts@};- 2006-07-22 16:43:15
201 2163 I think the perfect type of breasts are those of medium size, and very firm. 2006-07-28 09:27:19
201 6579 I prefer7 inches, 1.3 inch cross girth 2009-04-11 01:17:26
201 6613 I am one of those guys who prefer smaller breasts.& A or B cup is fine with me.& I have noticed that often girls with smaller breasts has very perky nipples and I really love that.& I am sorry that the bra-less look seems to have been discarded these days. 2009-04-30 08:24:12
201 6715 I’m a man that has always had a preference for women with petite figures. I love the body shape of women with small breasts, including those that might be called flat-chested. In common with most men I tend to have something of a sexual fixation about women’s breasts, it’s just that for me the smaller they are the more desirable I find them. If I’m honest I find larger breasts a bit of a turn-off. I’ve just read the piece on the main site about ‘media and body image’ and I’m as infuriated as its author by the poisonous notion that ‘nobody wants to see breasts smaller than a C’. I will always delight in appreciating the graceful beauty of someone like Keira Knightley and find it an inexplicable travesty that anyone would consider it necessary to digitally ‘enhance’ her image. & Small breasts are no less ‘normal’ (or feminine) than large breasts – it’s just all part of the diversity of human physiology. Why do we seem to have such a problem with that? & It’s fine by me if someone thinks that, say, Christina Aguilera has the perfect body – whatever works for them – but that doesn’t mean they’re entitled to tell me there’s something wrong with me if I happen to prefer Kate Hudson. Yet that’s exactly what does happen. As a man, I’m acutely aware of a social pressure that can make me feel as though it’s somehow aberrant to express that kind of preference. Consequently men who appreciate the beauty and desirability of small-breasted women don’t feel comfortable being outspoken about it, which in turn encourages the belief that all men prefer women with large breasts. & (If you want anecdotal evidence in support of the fact that plenty of men find small breasts immensely sexy then look no further than the extensive sub-genre of internet p*rn devoted to the topic, which can only be a reflection of demand). & This whole debate would be ridiculous and pointless if it weren’t for the fact that so many women are being made to feel so miserable about their bodies, which I think is one of the greatest social tragedies of our times. I couldn’t be happier if the entire ‘breast augmentation’ industry went out of business tomorrow. 2009-07-30 09:38:42
201 6732 [user=16016]Smallworld[/user] wrote: " I’m a man that has always had a preference for women with petite figures. I love the body shape of women with small breasts, including those that might be called flat-chested. & In common with most men I tend to have something of a sexual fixation about women’s breasts, it’s just that for me the smaller they are the more desirable I find them. If I’m honest I find larger breasts a bit of a turn-off. & I’ve just read the piece on the main site about ‘media and body image’ and I’m as infuriated as its author by the poisonous notion that ‘nobody wants to see breasts smaller than a C’. I will always delight in appreciating the graceful beauty of someone like Keira Knightley and find it an inexplicable travesty that anyone would consider it necessary to digitally ‘enhance’ her image. & Small breasts are no less ‘normal’ (or feminine) than large breasts – it’s just all part of the diversity of human physiology. Why do we seem to have such a problem with that? & It’s fine by me if someone thinks that, say, Christina Aguilera has the perfect body – whatever works for them – but that doesn’t mean they’re entitled to tell me there’s something wrong with me if I happen to prefer Kate Hudson. Yet that’s exactly what does happen. As a man, I’m acutely aware of a social pressure that can make me feel as though it’s somehow aberrant to express that kind of preference. Consequently men who appreciate the beauty and desirability of small-breasted women don’t feel comfortable being outspoken about it, which in turn encourages the belief that all men prefer women with large breasts. & (If you want anecdotal evidence in support of the fact that plenty of men find small breasts immensely sexy then look no further than the extensive sub-genre of internet p*rn devoted to the topic, which can only be a reflection of demand). & This whole debate would be ridiculous and pointless if it weren’t for the fact that so many women are being made to feel so miserable about their bodies, which I think is one of the greatest social tragedies of our times. I couldn’t be happier if the entire ‘breast augmentation’ industry went out of business tomorrow. "I heartily agree with the last statement made here.& When beautiful girls such as two recent Playmate of the Year recipients feel the need to get implants after receiving what I would think is probably the ultimate prize in beauty and sexyness (is that a word?) then there is something wrong with our society.& Beauty and sex appeal go far beyond just size.& Kathleen Turner was smokin' hot in Body Heat and she doesn't have large breasts. 2009-08-04 08:26:20
201 6775 Well since I've only ever been with one man from losing my virginity, i've only had one size of cock. However, I have experimented with everything from ice cubes and deodorant cans, to umbrellas and bed posts. I have on a few occasions entered the whole shower hose in me and I did bleed for a couple of days... which poses the thought of if I was gentle or not, should have used more lube... etc. My personal experiences have been with a 9" so who could settle for less now? :P 2009-08-18 08:46:22
201 6776 Forgive me Smallword for not copy and pasting all of your quote from this post. I do believe all of what you said was relevant, but I pasted the bit I wanted to refer to so that it may make it easier for others to read. Alright.... I agree with your statement below. It is so sad how media (in particular) have been classifying woman of the model type into magazines and yes making them appeal to a particular age group of women - whom they know it would make them re-think about their own female body and comparing it to these successful, modelistic type women who appear in our society. I am one of few women and I actually like my breasts. They are a natural part of a body and in my thoughts us as women should embrace them (and yes embrace with our hands too :P)... I am really glad I do have the confidence in a part of my body, because I do put myself down about the rest of my body in general.. [user=16016]Smallworld[/user] wrote: "This whole debate would be ridiculous and pointless if it weren’t for the fact that so many women are being made to feel so miserable about their bodies, which I think is one of the greatest social tragedies of our times. I couldn’t be happier if the entire ‘breast augmentation’ industry went out of business tomorrow. " 2009-08-18 08:53:12
202 1034 i really don't know what to do, i'm posting here as a last resort and i really hope someone out there might have had a similar experience. about a month ago, i started& to feel& a sharp pain around my clitoris.& it started off as an uncomfortable prickling, but then progressed to a stabbing sensation if i touched it directly, or accidentally caught it during movement.& i've always been pretty over-sensitive in the clitoral area, but it's never been painful like this before.& & i can't even bear to touch it.& it's not even like i'd been& over-stimulating it - i haven't been masturbating particularly violently and i haven't had sex in a& couple of months. i thought it would just go away, but it didn't and after about a week or so of this pain, i decided to have a look in the mirror& at it....i was really shocked when i saw what it looks like.& it looks....wrong.& i know my own body and i know that the pain is coming from my clitoris, which looks different to how it used to.& i can't& really explain it, but it seems to be protruding more than usual (which might explain why it's so oversensitive) and it looks pretty red.& i can't touch it because its so uncomfortable and my vagina is also quite red and irritated. i went to the doctor, and explained my symptoms.& when she examined me, she said& everything looked fine, even though i pointed out where i felt was overly sore.& she& did a pelvic exam and told me to use canesten 3 times a day, which i have done, with no effect.& i tested positive for& bacterial vaginosis and she& prescribed a course of& antibiotics...she gave me 5 tablets to take& all at once, which i did last night.& & i know it's pretty early days, but i haven't noticed any difference& at all - i'm still very sore,& even with the combined use of the canesten cream.& my main cause for concern is the fact that& i didn't feel she fully took into consideration what i was actually saying to her, and consequently i'm still suffering from the clitoral pain i was experiencing a month ago.& i've done some pretty extensive research over the net and by the looks of things, bv wouldn't explain why my clitoris is so painful, but it's starting to get me down now as i really don't know what to do.& the idea of ever having sex again is frankly terrifying, and whilst& i really don't want to just wait for it to go away, i don't feel able to go back to the dr's if she can't find anything obviously wrong with me. sorry that was such a super long post....i really hope someone can help me, as i'm at my wits end and am starting to get quite depressed about the whole thing. 2006-01-09 19:16:38
202 1035 Violet...it is very unusual the kind of enlargement and rednes of your clitoris....I knew it could happen in case of accumulation of smegma under the clitoris' hood caausing an infection, but you're taking antibiotics...if you can get a warm bath for a while and after the bath use a mirror and examine yoru clit for strange adhesions and try to pull the hood a litle without feeling pain and checking underneath. Remember that the pain is greater because we have more nerve endings in the clit than in the vagina and being swollen mean there is more blood flowing there(a sign of infection) but in rare cases could be a fungus thriving under the clitoris' hood. & My advice is to go to another doctor if oyu're no happy with the present one. good luck Luisa 2006-01-09 20:25:58
202 1036 also, you need to give the antibiotics time to work. antibiotics rarely take less than a week or two to take full effect, so there's no way you could see any kind of change this quickly. most doctors say you won't notice the effects of antibiotics at all for the first few days. 2006-01-09 21:00:38
202 1040 Hello yes, wait a couple more days for the antibiotics to really get into your system. At least your test showed up what sort of infection you have and so the doctor was able to give you the appropriate antibiotic to treat it. Did she give you some pain killers as well? Normal over the counter ones are crap for this sort of pain. Ask her to prescribe you some. If by say Friday this is still really painful or gets worse, you must go back to the doctors. Most doctors whilst in the first instance give you a kind of quick fix solution, get a bit disheartened if you reappear with the same problem as they want to get it right the second time because after that you can complain if there is no improvement or you feel not heard. So she may be more receptive than you think at the moment. I know its hard, and I know how upsetting this can feel and much it can bring you down. The clitoris and any infection or pain associated with it is similar to how some people view eye injuries. it is scary. You have done well to seek medical advice. Give the antibiotics a couple more days and ask for painkillers if you havent done so already. Try to walk about in the house with just a towel wrapped around your bottom half. Let the air get to you as much as possible. Princess 2006-01-10 18:56:13
202 1044 thank you all so much.& seriously, i really REALLY appreciate all of these friendly supportive responses.& i had a bit of a cry at my mum and sister yesterday and they both told me exactly the same thing - wait a few more days to see if the antibiotics kick in and then go back to the doctor.& i thought i might go to the gum clinic if it still doesn't clear up, but then the doctor would already have a record of me going before, so perhaps, like princess suggested, she would be more receptive the second time around.& i'll keep you all posted.& hehe. i think i'm mostly concerned by the fact that i can't see how bv would affect my clitoris and i'm so frightened of the idea that it might be 'broken' :P 2006-01-11 03:31:24
202 1046 Violet if this can be of some relief to you don't believe your clit can break, it is quite resistant; have you seen pictures of pierced clits? chains going thru the clit itself? even small padlocks......diamond studs...etc, etc,.... Wish you the best Luisa 2006-01-11 18:14:15
202 1163 hii why dont u do some exercises , in yoga there are a few exercises which can help. so i wold suggest it, try a hand on yoga, where there can be internal massaging,& body movements and breathing. & 2006-02-13 04:13:58
202 1164 I have a red bump or pimple on near my clitoris. It has burst on it own, but the bump still remains. It does hurt when touched, and the vagina does itch. I have taken Diflucan for vagina thrush. I do not have a bath tub. What should I do???? I am in New Zealand and am 42 yrs old.:X PLEASE HELP.. I did have these in the states, but I took a warm bath in oatmeal and that seem to do the trick. 2006-02-14 17:56:16
202 1175 Have you been to the doctor to get antibiotics? That would be the first thing otherwise these are just going to keep coming back. Natural LIVE yoghurt rubbed into the area can offer some relief but will not treat it fully. Drinking Cramberry Juice from now on in place of one or two of your daily cups of caffine will do you the world of good as well as taking Evening Primrose Oil capsuels daily. These lifestyle changes will do you good in the long term and help take care of your delicate area. But going to the doctors and getting antibiotics would do you the world of good now. Princess [user=439]lisaann[/user] wrote: " I have a red bump or pimple on near my clitoris. It has burst on it own, but the bump still remains. It does hurt when touched, and the vagina does itch. I have taken Diflucan for vagina thrush. I do not have a bath tub. What should I do???? I am in New Zealand and am 42 yrs old.:X PLEASE HELP.. I did have these in the states, but I took a warm bath in oatmeal and that seem to do the trick. " 2006-02-18 15:47:17
202 1178 hey guys. i've had a few emails about new replies to this topic so i figured i'd better come backand update on the original story.& sadly, there has been no improvement.& i'd love to be able to come back and say how lovely my doctor was the second time i went, that she treated me and it was all better.& that isn't the case.& it's been 3 months and still no change on the pain front.& i saw a different doctor after i made my first post, just to get a second opinion, and she prescribed me some anti-inflammatories without even examining me.& no change.& i had another culture test with a nurse, which came back negative.& i tried to go to the gum clinic, but they actually turned me away because it wasn't an sti-related condition (the nurse decided, even though she didn't even examine me), even after i& started shaking and crying when she told me 'these things take time to settle down' and 'i know it's hard, but you just have to wait and see'.& basically she had no idea what to do with me, even after i told her that the nurse at the surgery had suggested that i came to the gum clinic, as it is attached to the hospital.& at my wits end, i did copious amounts of reading up about this topic and discovered a condition called clitorodynia, which is linked to vulvodynia, basically 'pain of the vulva' (or rather in my case, clitoris).& i've had a sore, itchy vulva to accompany my clitoral pain, which isn't exactly making matters any better.& i can't remember when this pain came on, but i have my suspicions that it could be thrush brought on by the bv medication that i was given originally.& however, i have tried& anti-fungal cream and it is actually making the situation worse.& i returned to the doctor and asked if i could see a specialist, so she has referred me to the gynocologist.& & i mentioned vulvodynia to her, and whilst she seemed reluctant to commit to a diagnosis, put me on a& low dose& of amitriptyline (a tricyclic antidepressent) to apparently improve the nerve pain she suddenly decided i had, after i mentioned vulvodynia.& i was so desperate to see a way out of all of this that i started taking it, but it literally turned me into a zombie in the space of 3 days.& i couldn't function, my head felt like it was in a constant fog and it was preventing me getting on with normal life in a way that not even the pain did.& so i stopped taking them and basically started researching these conditions more in terms of natural remedies that can be used to improve the pain.& i've been having hypnosis for a (potentially) unrelated matter, so i mentioned the pain to my hypnotist and& he worked it into a& routine to try and isolate the pain.& it's still sore, unfortunately, but i found the hypnotherapy to help to put it out of the forefront of my mind.& it was making me extremely depressed and i found that i cried over it most days, some days it was impossible for me to even leave the house.& now, i am more determined than anything else, determined to find a solution to the pain on my own terms, rather than relying on some horrendous drugs that dull my mind as well as any physical sensations. but for the moment, i just have to wait until the 8th march for my gyn appointment.& i've started to think it might be some kind of adhesion under the clitoral hood, as it seems to be struggling to slip back over the glans, which is perhaps why it's become so oversensitive and sore around there.& i tried all the suggestions which were originally made in this thread, such as sitting in the bath, sliding it around gently to remove any build up of smegma, etc.& all to no avail.& it's been an extremely distressing process, luckily i have AMAZING friends, but i really wouldn't wish this on anyone.& as a digression, i split up with my ex-girlfriend about a month or so before this pain started and it was a particularly traumatic break-up...part of me wonders whether in some way this could be linked on the most crude of levels.& either way, the fact that i've been suffering with such an intimate kind of pain has not exactly helped me to get over my ex-girlfriend when i was so completely connected& to her physically.& i had a lot of body hangups before we met and i'm worried that this& has set me back tremendously.& i'm not sure if me not having a partner during this is a& positive thing& or not& - i think i mentioned before that it just would not be possible for me to have sex right now, so perhaps it's a good thing.& but i'm feeling extremely anxious about the whole thing and i think it would be nice to be in a relationship where i could be reassured that i'm not just a complete freak and that i will be able to feel 'normal' (by that i mean pain-free and not as uncomfortable) and get that support that i just can't expect my friends to give me. sorry to give such a long drawn-out update.& i doubt everyone will bother to read that, but i thought i should just give a few details of my present situation.& i think one positive thing has come from this - i've realised that vulval pain is much more common than many people realise and i've taken that into consideration, with the view to perhaps setting up some kind of support group in my local area where women can feel comfortable and relaxed enough to talk about vulval problems they might have/had for a number or reasons.& um. that's it really. 2006-02-18 16:44:16
202 1179 As a vaginismus sufferer, I can relate fully to how you feel when it comes to pain down there. Ours isn't constant but it does mean we aren't able to engage in intercourse. There are support groups for vag so I'm sure there will be something for your condition too. I have heard of vulvodynia during my research aboug vag and other stuff. Try finding a support group for vulvodynia in the yahoo groups. There are two vag ones in the yahoo groups, another one for vag women trying to get pregnant and also a group for partners of vag women. Any problem related to the genitals is highly distressing and having a medical proffession who seem to be clueless about it and offer little in the way of help doesn't exactly make thing better. in fact, I just went and had a quick look myself and came across this forum for women with vulva pain: Also, this one too: Hope these help. I know how much talking to fellow vag sufferers helped me. 2006-02-18 19:03:07
203 1047 Alright I have had many sexual partners and none of them have ever made me orgasm.& I can usually make myself orgasm durning masturbation but never when I am with a man. I am a little heavier set and I wonder if that has anything to do with it. My "fat" doesn't get in the way of sex at all though.& I have had many partners of all sizes skinny and fat, small penises and large penises.& None seem to make me orgasm.& I always end up faking it.& Which isnt good.& I am involved in a very nice relationship with a guy I have sex with atleast twice a week.& I really want to have an orgasm while I am with him.& I can't even have an orgasm when he gives me cunnilingus. He is an extremely wonderful sex parter but I just am having problems.:?& I am too embarrassed to tell him I am not having an orgasm.& Is there something wrong with me? Am I just to shy about my size to really get into sex? I would really like some tips or help.& Please Help me if you can. Jessica 2006-01-11 23:17:38
203 1048 A lot of women can't have orgasms from intercourse no matter what they try. Ask yourself if you orgasm from penetration when you masturbate, or if you orgasm from clitoral contact. If you don't orgasm from penetration, it's no surprise that you don't orgasm from intercourse either since it's the same thing with a different object. If that's the case, then simply have him touch your clit during intercourse if he's good at it, or touch it yourself for the time being and teach him how to touch you properly. If you can orgasm from penetration, then it's probably simply a matter of experimenting with different positions to get penetration from different angles until it hits you in the right spot. The same thing goes for oral sex. You know you can orgasm, but you need to train him how to touch you like you touch yourself. Tell him where, how hard, and how frequently to touch you. As he does it, give him instructions on what to keep doing and what to change. Communication is the only way to improve sex. 2006-01-12 07:30:47
203 1049 I agree. If you fake it, you are basically telling them they are doing the right thing and don't need to change their methods. Keep faking and you'll never have a proper orgasm during partner sex because your partners will never learn to do the right thing for you. People have to learn all over again with every new partner because we are all different so it doesn't matter how many partners they've had or how many you've had, you still need to learn each new partner like you did your very first. You need to get them to try things that you like and experiment instead of just hoping it will happen for you. Whatever you do during masturbation, get them to do something similar during partner sex. You know it works in DIY so there's a good chance it will work in partner sex too. Also, stop worrying too much about it. Sex isn't all about orgasm and it isn't the end of the world if you don't have one. Don't fake it in order to please the male partner into thinking he's great in bed when he isn't. No more faking....! 2006-01-12 11:40:02
203 1050 Also, the more you fake it, the more crushing it is to a man's ego if and when he finds out. It's better if you simply tell him how to do it better now, and then he knows he's really doing it right. 2006-01-12 16:39:55
204 1051 I'm 25, and I've never been able to give myself an orgasm.& I think that's why I've never had an orgasm from intercourse either.& What should I do? 2006-01-15 00:26:29
204 1052 Maybe you're trying too hard and thinking of an orgasm as being the be all and end all. The anxiety this can create can ward off orgasms big time. I had my first one completely by accident, I didn't set out to have it so to speak, I just did stuff that felt good and it just happened completely out of the blue. I realised it must be an orgasm because I couldn't think of anything else it could be. I'd heard and read about orgasms but never really thought about them that much, especially during self-exploration. That might have been what helped me. I can now just have them over and over everytime I have a& DIY session. I was 18 when I had my first one and I am now 26. Things that help me climax are clenching up and tensing up my whole abdomen (I almost become rigid,& but it's like an instinct, a natural urge,& telling me to just do it)& and legs when I start coming close but to maintain slow deep breaths, don't hold your breath. Still, these are things I have learnt since my first one to help me have them even easier and more intense. If you are on any medications, look into whether they can affect the ability to have orgasm. The pill sometimes can, I'm on the pill and it doesn't stop me but everyone is different and the pills are different too depending on the brand etc... & 2006-01-15 07:08:24
204 1053 Knowing how to touch yourself is important, but more important is the mental factor. If you are nervous or insecure when you try to make yourself orgasm, you will never be able to do it. I suggest that you take some alone time to just let your mind wander about what you really find attractive. Lock yourself in your room with the lights down and some relaxing music to pamper yourself and just get loose. Take any ideas that start to turn you on and work them into a fantasy. Since it's all in your head, don't think of anything as being off limits, just explore it whether its kinky or romantic (or both). When you can make yourself mentally aroused, your body will physically respond better to stimulation which will in turn make you even more aroused mentally. The real important thing is just let yourself enjoy the experience. Don't have your mind focused on having an orgasm since you don't even know what it feels like. Just focus on what feels good and try anything that comes to mind. If you feel some new sensation, just go along with it. A lot of women who have never orgasmed confuse the feeling of impending orgasm with the overwhelming sensation of having to pee, for instance (because the group of muscles that controls peeing also controls orgasm). Those who don't panic or start thinking something is wrong can eventually progress to orgasm. That's just an example of course. I'm just saying to not go into it with any hard set goal, just do whatever occurs to you that you think will feel good. Keep doing stuff that feels better and better and eventually you will find how your body orgasms. 2006-01-15 07:46:06
204 1054 Yeah, I sort of use orgasms for useful things as well now such as last night when I couldn't get to sleep for the life of me. I find that I zonk out very easy after a few orgasms so I rubbed myself up, had a few and, zonk, I was gone, haha, works a treat.:D 2006-01-15 08:12:02
204 1055 Hi E22, you're not alone many of us had to learn what an orgasm was, you will know what "your orgasms " feel like, there is no definite description like with the boys: they are done when they ejaculate. Mainly it is an overwhelming sensation of well being that overcomes yoru body, senses and soul, so let it go to the hilt, don't try to stop it. If you had tried it and got the urgency to pee, use a thick towel next time and let your body go, take over and enjoy....for me it is so personal and enjoyable..good luck Luisa & 2006-01-15 11:15:49
204 1272 well actually we dont have to orgasm to ejaculate... i ejaculate sometimes without having an orgasm. 2006-03-05 04:15:59
205 1056 Here is an interesting survey: [url=www.nymag.com/lifestyle/sex/annual/2005/15079/index.html] www.nymag.com/lifestyle/sex/annual/2005/15079/index.html Brad 2006-01-15 12:50:44
205 1102 Thank you for posting that.& Very interesting. As I was going through it& I was trying to think of what my mom or dad would say.& Some of the parents on there, I think really need to get a clue.& I remember reading this one mom's response about her talking to her child about sex, and she said that she doesn't talk to her, but that it's implied.& Or so she thinks. Anybody else's views? 2006-01-30 11:21:24
205 1104 Lady..I have 1 boy and 2 girls , grown and married and my problem about sex and the kids is that& I couldn't comprehend that they were going to have intercourse no matter what i did or didn't(or any kind of sexual activity). Icould not seat down and talk tothem from that perspective, waht I had in mind was "no to have any kind of sex unitl they were older" what is wrong; we are sexual beings. I sat down and tried to explain them to refrain and explain "the biology behind sex" which they learned at school. My opinion today is to be alert and when they show signs of sexual activity be sure we facilitate those activities under our supervision and comunicate with the parents of the other kid(boy or girl)which I think is more healthy.... I may be wrong all the way but I'd like that to happened to me when I was growing. & Luisa 2006-01-30 12:44:27
205 1116 I know that when I was younger my mom informed me about sex a lot.& I know until recently that I was very private about things that I've done.& Until she joked around and asked if my bf and I were rolling around in my sheets one afternoon.& My face got so red, that she could tell that I have.& She wasn't at me for having sex, she was more upset that Mommy's little girl didn't tell her.& I had told all of my friends first before her, and even my older sister.& & I just think that 14 is just a little too young to be having sex.& They aren't responsible enough to be engaging in such an act that need emotions attached.& 2006-01-31 09:12:28
205 1118 Girls that age usually do it soley for peer pressure, because they mistake it for love but, most of all, to feel like adults because it's what adults do but then they find it doesn't make them suddenly adults but they keep doing it as if they think it will eventually. They see it as some sort of right of passage. Same as starting periods and such, it was like a bloody race at our school, so pathetic. The more mature girls of that age know better and refrain, quite ironic really. 2006-01-31 09:26:55
205 1126 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Girls that age usually do it soley for peer pressure, because they mistake it for love but, most of all, to feel like adults because it's what adults do but then they find it doesn't make them suddenly adults but they keep doing it as if they think it will eventually. They see it as some sort of right of passage. Same as starting periods and such, it was like a bloody race at our school, so pathetic. The more mature girls of that age know better and refrain, quite ironic really. "I couldn't agree with you more.& I know that at that age, I wasn't thinking about having sex.& Let alone did a guy want to touch me. 2006-02-01 17:13:55
205 1130 Another problem I noticed among mates who slept around from a young age is that they were usually originally influenced or pressured into it by older boyfriends. As girls tend to mature faster than boys, when they start wanting boyfriends, they look to an older age group as boys of their own age are considered too immature still. When they find an older BF, this older BF expects sex because of his age, he's used to getting it by that age and doesn't want to miss out just because the GF is younger& and they often pressurize these younger girls into it& and threaten to leave them or something else if they don't, blah blah.... They might also tell that young girl that if she loved him, she'd have sex with him and these young naive girls fall for it. One of my friends lost her virginity when she was 12 to a complete ****** who wasn't even at school still. I'm not sure what age he was but he was no better than a peadophile in my opinion and he was vile, I met him and he seriously was vile. Basically, my mate felt too scared to turn him down when she was at his house and he suggested they go upstairs and have sex. Quite sad...and scary. She even admitted that she was petrified when walking upstairs to "Do it". Sheesh!!!!! As Boys often wait a year or two longer before getting into that stuff, their puberty doesn't start as early as girls, it isn't as likely to happen to them and it isn't as often you get a girl of 18-19 seeing a boy of 13-14 because she'd see them as way too immature but then I suppose you still get exceptions. In the town where I live, a girl of 12 got pregnant. Her BF was in his late teens, I think. She ended up pregnant again before she was 14 to another BF who was also a lot older....the typical scenario. Both blokes should have been locked up for having sex with her but nothing happens to them. Mind, the girls mother was only 26 making her the youngest grandmother in the UK so she would only have had her daughter at 14..... 2006-02-01 17:36:20
205 1134 You know, Canis Lupess, it really is a darn shame that it has to be that way.& I feel that so many people have sex for the wrong reason. And I feel so bad for those girls that are forced into having sex.& My best friend lost her virginity at 16. Her boyfriend (18)& pressured her into having sex.& He actually would force himself on her.& She never told me this until she broke up with him.& I told her I wish she told me sooner.& It just upsets me, because he was so wrong for doing that, she never did give consent to have sex. I'm guess I can consider myself lucky that I haven't had to deal with guys/men like that.& I am in my first relationship ever, and I couldn't be happier.& I lost my virginity to him, but I did it because I loved him. There's so much passion between the both of us.& I felt it was right.& My mom found out, she was fine with the fact that I'm active. Because she knows I didn't just lose it to someone like another friend of mine.& 2006-02-02 13:30:53
206 1061 Me and my girlfriend tries something out the other day which we'd heard of, basically you get an ice cube (not too big and make sure to round the edges off so its a smooth oval ball) and put it inside the vagina, and then the man penetrates her, the feeling of cold is really nice and the sensations are great too, try it out if you never have before, i must make one point though, the cold makes the vaginal muscles close up quite a bit from when we did it, make sure the ice cube isnt too big 2006-01-15 23:50:02
206 1076 I've done it.& Once it goes in, I don't feel a thing.& If I stay at it for too ong, it does develop an ache, though, and not in a good way.& Maybe it is good for the guy, but I've never enjoyed it. 2006-01-23 15:03:04
207 1065 After being maried for 20 years, I now am back in the dating scene, single again. THe last two woman I have been with have been extremely multi orgasmic, wet the bed, you name it, highly orgasmic. Both woman would get the glands very swollen, basicly the g spot, and would ejaculate. All wonderfull, but my question is this, can that gland protrued out of the vagina to some degree?? Or is that the clitorus. Both woman have done the exact same thing, feels like the gland protruding out of the vagina, can anyone comment on this. My wife of 20 years, never would do this, and was not multiorgasmic, so this has all been a little new to me. Sex is great, and everything is fine, I just am confused if this thing that sticks out is the gland that swells during stimulation, or the clitorus. 2006-01-17 16:37:37
207 1075 Well, I guess I figured this one out myself, had a rather awesome weekend, and figured out that the bladder at the top of the vagina, or "G Spot" did got so enlarged, that it stuck out of the vagina. Last girlfrind would do this as well, only two in the last 30 years, and dated them back to back. I dont know if anyone else has expoerianced this. It is all wonderfull, at least now I know exactly what it is, 50 orgasms later! 2006-01-22 17:25:00
209 1068 Last year I worked as a waitress through the hot summer and it was required I& had to wear nylon tights as part of the uniform-I wore tights as I found stockings && suspenders uncomfortable to wear for long periods of time-anyway as I prefer not to wear any undies in the summer, however(after a few sessions of not doing so-big mistake!)& I found, at the end of& a few long, hot shifts, that the nylon tights had made my clit very sore.As soon as I got home& I would take off my skirt and tights,sit on the sofa with my legs& wide open& to get some air(not very practical whilst sharing home with mum, step dad, brother and dog!!)& but it got worse and I was to shy to visit a doctor. Eventually I told a close friend and she had a quick look and agreed it was very red and swollen and she suggested that if i wasn't going to go to see a doctor that I should rub some cream into it-I started rubbing nivea cream in but then used vaseline-I found it soothing and now my clit is fine but I still like to rub this in maybe3 or 4 times a day and I always masterbate using it-but do you think it will do any harm to my clit? and does anyone do this or has anyone ever done it? and what creams do you think would be best suited? it's just I like the wet feeling now and don't really want to stop. 2006-01-20 09:39:51
209 1069 Izzy I'll recommend no to use greasy creams in your genitals, find a water soluble cream that will minimize the risks and enjoy what you discovered; you can write if you want my email is in my profile& love Luisa 2006-01-20 14:11:56
209 1070 to the best of my knowledge, lotion and vaseline should be completely harmless since they are made specifically for putting on skin. the one problem with vaseline is that the skin doesn't absorb it like lotion, so it tends to get messy and greasy which may indirectly be bad for hygiene. I'd recommend sticking with lotion because its both moisturizing and the excess washes away very easily. 2006-01-20 15:20:57
209 1071 In the miscellaneous section of Q&A on the-clitoris.com, there is a topic that is similar to your question. It says that oil based products such as vaseline and lotion are harmful if they're used inside the vagina. The body is unable to cleanse itself from them, and they are likely to cause infection. Also, they break down latex condoms. Externally, I'd assume that there would be no risk. The only other thing to consider is that if any of the creams you're using are scented, they may cause irritation. 2006-01-21 00:51:26
209 1101 [user=4]anon[/user] wrote: "In the miscellaneous section of Q&A on the-clitoris.com, there is a topic that is similar to your question. It says that oil based products such as vaseline and lotion are harmful if they're used inside the vagina. The body is unable to cleanse itself from them, and they are likely to cause infection. Also, they break down latex condoms. Externally, I'd assume that there would be no risk. The only other thing to consider is that if any of the creams you're using are scented, they may cause irritation."I agree.& Especially creams that have a scent can be even more harmful. 2006-01-30 10:58:24
211 1078 :shock:& I was wondering why my boyfrienn wants to preform oral sex on me And how do I know if I am enjoying it or not? 2006-01-23 21:34:28
211 1080 Why does he want to? It could be one or many reasons. For one, you can't get pregnant from oral sex. There are also several STDs that can't be transmitted through oral sex (or at least they have a strongly diminished chance of transmission). Also, oral sex is an act of giving, to please your partner and focus on them completely without taking anything for yourself, and guys that know what they're doing know that more women get off from oral than intercourse (statistically speaking). Lastly, a lot of guys do enjoy giving oral sex for the act itself. It can taste/smell good and the vulva just looks and feels great. Its a big turn on to get your partner aroused and you can enjoy it more when thats the only thing you're focused on. It could be any or all of those reasons. As for how you know you're enjoying it? How do you know if you are enjoying intercourse or masturbation or being felt up? Its all the same from a physical standpoint. The thing is just to relax and enjoy it, and if something he does feels ok but not great, you should tell him how/where to touch you to make it feel even better. 2006-01-23 23:25:26
211 1083 i would say for sure he likes you alot and wants to treat you right.& Its well documented and accepted that oral sex is the best sex fro females in general, at the very least something they enjoy (with some exceptions ofcourse). as with everytghing els eyou will know if you enjoy it or not, it will feel great if you do;) 2006-01-24 00:24:22
211 1090 Hi and welcome :) Do you want your boyfriend to perform oral sex with you? Princess 2006-01-25 13:39:19
213 1095 Hi Everyone, I'm over 50 and still learning. :dude: 2006-01-28 11:41:37
213 1100 It's all good. Welcome! :) 2006-01-30 10:54:31
213 1115 I hope I never stop learning - ever - either! Welcome :) Princess 2006-01-31 06:12:54
214 1105 I have a problem as in I cant have an Orgasm with anyone, I mean if i masterbate i can cum and just recently i have started being able to make myself cum sometimes when my partner is in the room but i take at least 45 minutes doing it myself and my partner is frustrated that she cant do it for me. I know exactly what i like but i cant get anyone else to do it. Its so frustrating, everything on the internet seems to suggest that i relax by having a bath or a massage but this just makes me want to fall asleep not have sex. When we do have sex i cant turn off, i mean everything will be fine then ill roll over and notice the carpet needs hovering or something stupid then my head just floods with all the other things i need to do. I would love to just switch off but i cant, trying to not think about stuff like the hovering actually takes effort and then im concentrating so hard on trying no to think about anything that i cant possibly enjoy sex and i get turned off once again. My gf says im lazy and that if i wanted to orgasm i could it just simply means making the effort to relax and enjoy it but i have tried to make the effort, it frustrates me just as much as it does her, i feel totally inadequit as a woman, i feel like every other woman can orgasm and it is something i should be able to do to. 2006-01-30 13:13:44
214 1106 Hi..sorry to hear you're so disapointed...don't be ..we don't have orgasms all the time but if don't have any all the times you have to worry a little...have you tried reading before you meet your partner in order to relax your mind also what about some calming herbal tea to be very relaxed. Does your mate have any idea of this ? or you've kept it secret ? if your mate is aware maybe will be willing to try to arouse you& a little more. The ideea is trying to put your mind at easy and think how you get aroused just thinking ahead of the encounter, remember that female sex is more in the senses that the physical; we have to establish an emotional rapport in order to enjoy sex. Good luck and kisses Luisa 2006-01-30 13:33:25
214 1107 I havent tried reading no, all these relaxation things just make me wanna sleep, i know it sounds stupid but i feel like im performing when i have sex, making noises and having to make them have a godo time. I cant even stand having my partner touch me for very long because im sure that she is going to get frustrated if she spends long touching me and i dont cum, which i never do so i just dont bother. I know part of it is my mind set but i dont know how to change it. sex just isnt fun most of the time when you nwo your not going to cum and then im faced with the qwuestion, do i fake it and lie about having cum so the other person is happy or do i tell the truth and say i didnt cum? most of the time i just push her away and she gets angry but then if i dont push her away she is like why arent you interested? I cant win unless i cum and i just cant cum so i feel really really stuck. Do you think this is just me being lazy cause i dont feel like it is me just being lazy, i wish someone would just tell me this si what you need to do and you willl be fine, id do it if i knew it would work. Also im diabetic, does this make any difference? 2006-01-30 14:09:07
214 1109 it sounds like your problem is stress. maybe consider taking yoga classes or something else that will teach you relax and set aside your stress for a while. stress management is important not only for sexual performance (even more so for men than for women, I might add) but also for your general health and mental hapiness as well. 2006-01-30 16:28:03
214 1110 You're also worrying too much about having an orgasm. I mean, is it compulsory that you must have an orgasm? No, it's what stupid society dictates but then stupid society dictates a lot of stuff that doesn't actually apply in the real world. Laying there worrying about it is hardly going to bring an orgasm off, more likely, it will ward it off, as it has been doing. If you aren't really enjoying sex generally, there is another good reason why you aren't having orgasms. You'll need to have a hard think about what it is that makes you not feel interested in partner sex. Definitely don't fake, things will go seriously downhill for you from there on if you do and I doubt you'll want that. 2006-01-30 16:55:13
214 1121 all the aforementioned and... Just hover your mind off whatever you partner might think or the effort she must be making to make you cum. It sounds a bit harsh but try to think of her as a tool of some sort and forget about her expectations. I belive this may be harder for women that it is for men cause our brains are wired differently and we males tend to be more selfish, but trying a few times isn't gonna hurt. My gf had some days when after ~10 mins. of oral stimulation she started thinking I must be uncomfortable and tired and that worrying thoughts prevented her to reach orgasm, I know sometimes it can't be helped but to think about the giving part and his/her assumed discomfort but it must be avoided good luck 2006-01-31 21:34:45
214 1129 [user=292]luis[/user] wrote: " My gf had some days when after ~10 mins. of oral stimulation she started thinking I must be uncomfortable and tired and that worrying thoughts prevented her to reach orgasm, I know sometimes it can't be helped but to think about the giving part and his/her assumed discomfort but it must be avoided good luck" I can say that I've been in your girfriend's position before.& I actually was so darn focused on having an orgasm or worrying about my boyfriend being unconfortable when he was down there that I couldn't get an orgasm.& So I'm way better now that I'm focusing my thoughts on the pleasure that I'm receiving and it makes it so much better. noixdecoco, Just try and not to focus on other things but the pleasure that you're receiving.& Try to not expect to have an orgasm.& Being stimulated feels good whether you have an orgasm or not.& The orgasm just is a closure.& I have had frustrating times before and my boyfriend thought it was him, when really it was myself.& He felt bad, and I told him it still felt good and that I don't have to have an orgasm to enjoy myself.& Relax, clear your thoughts, and don't force an expectation of having an orgasm. & 2006-02-01 17:33:49
214 1131 Thanks LadyBug, Do you have any tips on how to do that by any chance. I just recently found out as well that she has never orgasmed with me but has with her ex girlfriends, which kinda annoys me that i am being able to be made like a freak when i simply dont know how to orgasm or more to the point, i dont know how to switch off. I kinda feel recentful at the minute so i cant have sex at all, Horny for me doesnt happen very often and unlike her i need more than her touching my leg for em to want to jump on her especially since i am stressed at the minute anyway. She wants em to go to a councelor but that just makes me feel more like some freak show. I dont understand how she can be so hypercritical either, so not only am i a freak show i feel like im a freak show who as well as not being able to give herself a good time during sex is a freak show who can give her a goo time either. I knwo orgasm isnt everything but its not me who is making it everything. I find it frustrating but she is the one who says she needs it. sorry for all these long messages, its the only chance i get to discuss what im thinking, she only gets angry with me if i try to discuss it with her. 2006-02-02 07:59:12
214 1132 Well, the problem is more with her then. If she is putting so much pressure on, course you won't have an orgasm because she's making you worry too much about it. You should try telling her that nice and "Firmly", and MAKE yourself heard, it isn't just about her, it is about you too. You'll never be able to relax and orgasm with her whilst you feel like you have to live up to her expectations. She needs to realise this. 2006-02-02 10:12:29
214 1133 I have to agree with Canis Lupess.& If your partners pressures you, that's not going to help either of you. noix de coco: Have you both tried giving each others a sensual body massage?& That's an act of some foreplay, and it'll help you get your mind off of other things.& Just focus on what feels good. Enjoy it.& Sometimes add a little bit of surprise touches.& (That usually makes me go crazy when& my boyfriend does that to me.)& And then after the message, you should be all relaxed and focused on your lovely partner.& And go at it.& Communication is very important, if you want it a certain way, tell her.& If she doesn't understand, help her out.& When getting oral sex, play with her hair. Sometimes the little touches can mean a lot.& But if you really want more than little touches from her, you need to tell her that.& Again, communication is very important when it comes to sex.& How can she fulfill your sexual needs if you can't tell her, and vice versa? Hope some of this helps you.& I wish you the best.& Feel free to PM me anytime.& 2006-02-02 13:22:32
214 1137 Now before we start tearing down the partner that isn't here to defend herself, lets take a deep breath. For one, noix didn't specify what her partner wanted her to see a counselor for, nor did she say that her partner was pressuring her into anything. She only said that she was embarassed at the idea of seeing a counselor. For all we know, the partner could be suggesting seeing a counselor to cope with the stress, and is that really a bad thing? Clearly noix is extremely stressed and has a lot of anxieties, and not just about sex. In a good relationship, your partner should be concerned about your health. I happen to think seeing a counselor is a good idea. Stress can ruin more than your sex life. I think noix's difficulty stems from issues outside the bedroom, so I don't think discussing foreplay techniques is going to accomplish anything. 2006-02-02 17:31:17
214 1140 I agree and echo all of the following ....... Princess [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "Now before we start tearing down the partner that isn't here to defend herself, lets take a deep breath. For one, noix didn't specify what her partner wanted her to see a counselor for, nor did she say that her partner was pressuring her into anything. She only said that she was embarassed at the idea of seeing a counselor. For all we know, the partner could be suggesting seeing a counselor to cope with the stress, and is that really a bad thing? Clearly noix is extremely stressed and has a lot of anxieties, and not just about sex. In a good relationship, your partner should be concerned about your health. I happen to think seeing a counselor is a good idea. Stress can ruin more than your sex life. I think noix's difficulty stems from issues outside the bedroom, so I don't think discussing foreplay techniques is going to accomplish anything." 2006-02-03 09:54:52
216 1113 Hi, I'm new... I started masturbating when I was about eight years old. Now it's been six years...and I only just let a few of my friends know that I do this. One of them was even an ex-boyfriend of mine. I was okay during the conversation, 'cause this older girl said she did the same thing, but at night I was really uneasy about everything and wondered if my friends thought it was strange. My mind kept creating horrible scenarios. At camp everyone's really open about it, but when I was asked about it I said I didn't masturbate. I guess I'm just really self-consious about this. Is it weird that I started so early? Oh, and I still haven't achieved an orgasm, though I haven't really expected it. 2006-01-30 21:23:12
216 1114 Hello and Welcome You are not weird at all. Most women started masturbating as a young girl as well although the orgasm part comes much later for some. You really shouldnt feel under pressure to talk about masturbating with anybody. It is a personal thing and something which is special for you to share with yourself until in a few years time when you have a special long term partner to share the experience with. Teenagers often discuss openly all the things they 'have' done sexually when in reality they havent done a fraction of the things they have said they have. Peer pressure and other social restraints cause this problem. It is difficult to know exactly what the other girls ( and boys ) your age have been doing when it comes to sex so I would just stick to what you have said. It took some guts to say no you havent when they were all saying they had. I am guessing that at least half of them have tried masturbating with little success and that is why they are so openly talking about it in this way. Hang on in there. There is nothing weird about what you are dong and nothing weird about keeping it private either. Dont feel odd or bad. Just enjoy yourself by yourself. Nothing wrong with that at all. You have plenty of years to share that experience with someone else later on. Princess 2006-01-31 06:11:56
216 1117 Like Brad says in the main site, all young girls would start masturbating as part of their normal sexual development from a very young age, even younger than 8 is many cases. The only reason most don't is because they are stopped by parents and other relatives and brought up to be ashamed and disgusted by their genitals because their parents think it will protect them from sex..... I hate it when people try prying into other peoples sexual business. If a person wants to tell somebody else about themselves as long as they aren';t betraying the confidential rights of a sexial partner, then thats ok, but to pry into other peoples business and ask them things about their sex life, that is not on and really angers me. Like when people ask one half of a new couple if they slept together yet. I mean, why do they need to know? Is it really important whether they have or haven't. It can really put people on the spot in this sex obsessed society. There is nothing abnormal about masturbation in a human of any age. Even animals do it and they just follow their instincts instead of being governed by a stupid shallow fickle society that distates this and that everywhere and just causes more harm than good. 2006-01-31 09:22:31
216 1135 [user=419]avenuesthroughgreenmountains[/user] wrote: "Hi, I'm new... I started masturbating when I was about eight years old. Now it's been six years...and I only just let a few of my friends know that I do this. One of them was even an ex-boyfriend of mine. I was okay during the conversation, 'cause this older girl said she did the same thing, but at night I was really uneasy about everything and wondered if my friends thought it was strange. My mind kept creating horrible scenarios. At camp everyone's really open about it, but when I was asked about it I said I didn't masturbate. I guess I'm just really self-consious about this. Is it weird that I started so early? Oh, and I still haven't achieved an orgasm, though I haven't really expected it. " Hello there, I've been masturbating since I was really young, but I didn't achieve an orgasm until I was in middle school.& My close friends and I all know that we masturbate. We used to talk about it all the time.& But I don't just tell anyone that I do, not unless I really trust the person. It's very normal that you started to masturbate as early as you did.& It's normal for you to feel self-conscious about it at first.& I know I was for sure.& I got paranoid a little bit because I thought people could tell that I did. But eventually you'll get over it, and& it won't bother you at all. Just hang in there! & 2006-02-02 13:41:00
216 1136 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: " You really shouldnt feel under pressure to talk about masturbating with anybody. It is a personal thing and something which is special for you to share with yourself until in a few years time when you have a special long term partner to share the experience with. " There are also people who think masturbation is wrong, dirty, degrading, or other things along these lines. Also, at a young age there are people (i.e. other teenagers) that could misconstrue masturbation as being slutty, easy, or desperate. Of course, people who are educated about sex know this isn't true, but that doesn't stop uneducated people from believing otherwise. So not only is it solely a private matter on principle alone, but at a young age its perhaps wise not to let everyone know. With certain people you could actually be creating tension. 2006-02-02 17:16:22
216 1138 I agree there, where young people like teens are concerned who don't really know too muich about sexuality even if they are sleeping around, it is better not to discuss it because they do tend to have twisted opinions about masturbation being dirty and disgusting and you might find they tell everyone they know too or, at least, if you have a fall out with any of them. I saw this type of behaviour all too much at school so I know it happens. 2006-02-02 18:19:39
216 1139 With lack of anything better to say at this time of night when I still have to do my homework, thank you. I would grovel, but that's just not something I do. (Sorry if this weirded you out, but I'm tired...) 2006-02-02 22:29:47
216 1141 [user=419]avenuesthroughgreenmountains[/user] wrote: "With lack of anything better to say at this time of night when I still have to do my homework, thank you. I would grovel, but that's just not something I do. (Sorry if this weirded you out, but I'm tired...)" You have not been weird at all. Never think that when you have asked questions. Open discussion prompted by questions is always a good thing. Dont feel under any pressure either way. Some times it is better to have something special for yourself that you dont share with your friends. The fact that you have asked the question is to be commended. You are seeking to educate yourself and grow personally in the process as well. Never feel weird if you are unsure about something. Just ask. Princess 2006-02-03 09:59:35
218 1123 I wan to ask some hetrosexual women some questions, please can you help me? Hi I have been reading lots if forums on the internet about pornography.I came across some forums asking whether women liked porn. A hell of a lot of women said they would prefer to see a naked woman in& a porn film or photo than a naked man . Now i will try not to stereotype people male or female. We all enjoy certain things. & From what i heard they were hetrosexual and said they loved men. & They said a womans body is more beautiful than a mans which i why theyd rather see a naked woman. II imagine maybe when& & women say they like to look at naked women that this is& "the male gaze" comparing or imagining men desiring them and thats what turns them on ? Many women have said they dont like to go to strip clubs to see naked men that theyd rather see naked women. Is this about watching the guys reactions around these attractive naked women? Or do women get PHYSICALLY turned on "wet" to see naked female flesh? Again many women ive asked have siad they really find naked men attractive especially theyre boyfreinds.& I even here women saying how they love naked guys and how theyd love to be in the mens locker room. If women are more beautiful naked and men are less why dont women say theyd love to sit all day in theyre own lockeroom ogling theyre own sex? ? & & & I & 2006-02-01 04:48:32
218 1124 Hmm, I do sort of understand women saying the naked woman is better looking because we are. He have curvy hour glass figures whereas blokes are just straight up and down and I can't say that a penis and testicles are the most attractive looking things around....not to just look at anyway. In fact, I have heard a lot of other women say how ugly they think they are to look at, it's just what they can do that they might find more attractive. In contrast, the female genitals are hidden in between our legs and our proportions are just more elegant and such.... As for women looking at other women. Well, we know you guys would just love the idea of lesbian influence but it isn't really that at all. Us women like to compare, check out the competition and compare them to ourselves. We do it all the time and do it more openly than men. Maybe thats why we are more affected by the vainess thing when we feel we don't comform physically, it's because our physical appearance has more bearing on how we are judged than with you guys who are often judged more on other aspects. Myself and a couple of younger girls tried to explain this to a work colleague of mine and his mate. We really put a damperner on their lesbian fettish, lol. Another reason might be that a lot of women wouldn't have to confidence to show off their naked body like strip girls but would like to be able to so watching other women do it is the next best thing but I'm not that bothered about watching men or women strip so I'm not really sure. I worry though that it makes too many& blokes see women simply as sexual objects. Well, a woman dancing about naked for a bunch of guys isn't really getting them to appreciate her for her great personality and intellect is she? 2006-02-01 10:31:33
218 1125 Thanks for giving me& some & answers to my question as you are the only woman that bothered. I am replying to your Post.& I must be the one man in the world who feels sick about women being with women Im not into that . Can i ask one more question? So ifa woman saw & very good looking man, with a nice body ,& naked form all views& they & would& experience no sexual arousal ? Bacause mens bodies are ugly? & & 2006-02-01 12:51:18
218 1127 I'm sure that would vary from woman to woman. I have a hard time because of my aversions and vaginismus which I am having therapy for but these things do make you look much harder into sexuality in order to conquer them and you end up knowing more than those who don't have such problems. This is why I find it hard to answer for myself but I will say that seeing a semi naked bloke with a nice looked after body does have some effect but I don't think it is as much as when a man sees a womans body, not because our bodies are more attractive but because we just naturally respond to different stimuli, I think it is other things that does it& more for women than seeing mens naked flesh if you understand me. Things like touch and intimacy, those things get me going more than seeing a naked bloke. 2006-02-01 17:17:18
218 1128 Jason, I'm one of those women that like that like to enjoy seeing the female body.& I also find the male body just as wonderful.& They both are just so interesting to look at.& It also depends on who's bodies they are though.& I know that I get very excited when I see my boyfriend.& I just love him and his body.& As for girls, I've seen a few of& my friends naked before. Wasn't really a big deal.& I get more excited if I see that my boyfriend is turned on.& That gets me going.& But seeing men that I don't know, naked, doesn't really do anything for me. & 2006-02-01 17:25:19
218 1145 Well I can say for myself that I look at women's bodies alot but out of curiousity, doesn't have much sexual influence on me. I notice the proportions and this sort of thing (I used to draw alot so I always watch out for proportions). But the male body, turns me on so much to see a man naked, ALOT. well not any man naked of course, but one with a healthy nicely proportioned body. I would be physically turned on. Also the genitals, I agree they look wierd but seeing the male genitals and touching them is a huge turn on for me and I make special effort to look at them during sex because they help get me more excited and hopefully orgasm. Also, watching a guy's reaction to a beautiful naked woman is a turn on. I do disagree with the naked female body being more beautiful. But to judge attractiveness and beauty one can't be but subjective; there is no right or wrong answer. However, the male body (think lean and athletic) is more clean cut, not too many curves and follows a nice smooth line (broad shoulders narrowing qradually to the hips and legs). As to the male genitals hanging out like that, we can easily say that two breast dangling on the chest can be thought of as out of place (something most guys i know would passionately disagree with :D) One more thought, when we look at animals, alot of people seem to agree that the male of the species is more beautiful physically (more muscular and better proportioned). 2006-02-05 07:38:28
218 1146 Hi Kay...you're the other side of the coin..don't say that the male isn't attractive when naked but we don't get turned on neccesseraly seeing a man nude, I think there are many women like Kay that get turned on by the male genitalia but the majority of us don't, we look for something more subtle like gestures, personality, inteligence, etc and once we get past this part we start& noticing the "maleness". In your case seem to me that you are an artist and that helps to look for beauty where we can't find if even& it is there, also the younger generation was raised to be more open about sex; when I was growing up it was common to here about male "flashers" but no females and today the number of female "flashers" is increasing. I htink everything is changing for the better.. Luisa 2006-02-05 15:09:10
218 1147 Ah and I am actually an artist. I specialize in animals but have done Tolkien inspired work with humans and elves and such and I still find the female body more attractive and more interesting to draw because of the curves and such. In fact, in one of the art forums I go in, this very subject came up. Seemed most artists in there preferred the female body and this was members of both sexes but then everyone is different, one woman can't answer for all the others. I definitely look for other aspects like personality, gestures and such first. For startes, a woman with vag needs to know if she is looking at an arsehole or a decent bloke more than most women need to. 2006-02-05 18:11:35
218 1150 Well, I always knew am on the other side of the coin :) girl friends would always eye an attractive man but I felt alone when I said looking at him turns me on. Still, just like most women, personality and character weigh much more than looks and are the decisive factor. I was just answering whether an attractive naked man turns me physically on and oh yes he does! Also true, most people, men and women, view the female body as more beautiful. Being a female, I have no problem with that. But I think this is not only instinctive but influenced by culture, the ancient greek wouldn't agree at all that females are more beautiful, they put so much emphasis on the young lean atheletic male body. This might be a wierd question but it's a fun discussion with friends: if an alien spieces came to earth and took a look at humans, would they say the female is more beautiful than the male or vice versa? I learned quickly that very few would say the male. Though I still can't see it :), look at sculptures (my favorite is Rodin), the male is body is just more beautiful. Well in the end this is my personal point of view 2006-02-06 13:15:03
218 1154 Hi I am with Kay on this one. When looking at an attractive male, just looking, not talking or anything, the last thing on my mind is his personality. I love the strength in a males body, the way the arms are shaped up over the shoulders and all the way down to his thighs. It does turn me on seeing naked attractive male bodies like that. So no, Kay you are not alone on this one at all. Princess 2006-02-07 14:01:44
218 1159 Thank you Everyone for your opinions. As a Man you can Imagine I can't begin to tell women what they feel. As a man I am just& aman . However, yes women are more beautiful, but I see it in the sense of better lines. An artist may well conclude better lines. As a man perhaps it is easier for me to be shallow and say yes! If a women is physically attractive I get turned on sexually. Easier because no one will hate me for it. My gf says she gets physically turned on seeing me naked. Is this because its me no.SHe said she also does for other men. I asked her friends they aggree. In fact they were very critical just how built or not or hairy or not a guy should be to be attractive and turn them on . I will say this to Kay and Princess. You are not neccassarily the other side of the coin. HOwecer Canis,ladbug and louisa, Im not saying your odd, well because many women share your views indeed. However, i get& turned on to see a good looking woman naked. This dosent mean i dont appreaciate a person as a person either.I don't think i will ever relate to people who say they don't get turned on . Thats just me. I m not saying anyone is wrong. I can't understand it personally. I wish i could understand. Oh sorry canis i read one of your posts. You are extrememely attractive i visited your art site , Oh wow can you draw too. I guess you have the brains and the looks. Your lucky. Please dont have low self esteem. You are ver very nice. Hope your not offended. Thanks for all your comments. Please keep commenting if you can . & & & & & 2006-02-11 13:24:54
218 1160 Hello and thanks. Didn't expect you going to my art site, lol. Was it in my profile, I can't remember, haha. Anyway, I often get people telling me not to feel so crap about myself and I wish I could just do that but it isn't as easy as that unfortunately but I'm working on it.............................. As for the difference among women regarding the subject, I suppose it is to be expected because we are all diverse and different. You can never be an expert on women and nobody can be an expert on men either because they are all unique, different and one person's meat is another person's poison. The only thing you can ever learn from such questions and their answers is how different we all are. 2006-02-11 18:10:50
218 1167 You are very pretty. 2006-02-16 14:56:57
218 1176 Hi, your art work is brilliant so full with detail and expression too. :) Princess [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Hello and thanks. Didn't expect you going to my art site, lol. Was it in my profile, I can't remember, haha. Anyway, I often get people telling me not to feel so crap about myself and I wish I could just do that but it isn't as easy as that unfortunately but I'm working on it.............................. As for the difference among women regarding the subject, I suppose it is to be expected because we are all diverse and different. You can never be an expert on women and nobody can be an expert on men either because they are all unique, different and one person's meat is another person's poison. The only thing you can ever learn from such questions and their answers is how different we all are. " 2006-02-18 15:49:18
219 1142 Do any guys find if you haven't masturbated or& had sex& for awhile, if you then & have sex you ejaculate too fast? Melissa 2006-02-03 23:24:13
219 1143 Hi, yes, My Partner does Princess 2006-02-04 10:27:53
219 1144 yes, my partner too 2006-02-05 07:07:18
219 1152 I don't. The only relation I see is between my level of desire and speed to climax. There have been times during long periods of low sexual interest/activity where it still took me forever to orgasm, and times during periods of frequent sexual activity (namely in high school) where something might cause me to become particularly aroused and climax very quickly despite frequent and regular orgasms. Basically, the more we want it the faster we orgasm, regardless of how long it has been since our previous one. 2006-02-06 21:12:02
219 1168 My bf tends to do it all the time, and yes he does help me out more.& I think we should start using the squeezing method when we're having sex, so he'll last a little bit longer. 2006-02-16 14:59:31
220 1148 :D& I let my boyfriend preform oral sex on me but it sucked :X& He asked me if it did anything for me and I said no. Now he is in my opinion avoiding it some what. How can I get him to want to improve his tecnique without outright telling him to do it to me? 2006-02-06 04:45:33
220 1149 Try to think of some things, ideas and such that you think you would like and ask him if he wants to try them out and tell him what you'd like to have done. If it doesn't do for you what you hoped, just put it down to a mutual trial and error journey and come up with something else. Rather than saying outright that it doesn't do anything for you, just suggest he do something else instead that you do like. Guide him with your hands or body movements if you don't like saying it and be sure to make it obvious when you do actually like something because then he's sure to keep doing it, haha. He can do the same for things you can do to him. Maybe have some sessions specifically set for experimenting, to find out what each of you likes and don't like etc...just for fun. No need to get it all perfect and right.& Nobody can know what will do it for anyone else, each person is unique like that no matter how much experience you've had. Be sure he knows this so that it doesn't dent his ego too much and make him unwilling to engage in it again. 2006-02-06 10:31:46
220 1153 Hi, your boyfriend asked you about it so that must mean that he wanted to talk about your feelings on the matter. I think you should just sit down and talk to him. Tell him why it did not work for you and how you feel about it. Show him how you masturbate and what type of movements bring you to orgasm. Your boyfriend did a good thing and his feelings may be fragile at the moment and that is why he is avoiding it. I think that some men need to feel like they are able to satisfy their partners fully otherwise they dont feel complete. Keep the lines of communication open. If you are able to bring yourself to climax through masturbating, and you show him this and perhaps let him join in orally, his confidence will grow and so will yours. Princess 2006-02-07 13:55:24
220 1156 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "I think that some men need to feel like they are able to satisfy their partners fully otherwise they dont feel complete. Princess" 2006-02-08 05:23:09
220 1471 Separate from this issue for now, what do you fantasize when you masturbate? I meant something similiar to the nature like for instance, waterfalls running down your pussy? wavering waters up and down the beaches? something that strokes in nature. Now have your boyfriend compare your sexual fantasy with his tongue, for instance, oceanic waves on shore, imagine his tongue like these waters going up slowly and back down the vulva, adjust your boyfriend's head and ask him to speed up or down, add or decrease pressure, tell him to not go there or to go there, then have him stay with that pattern until you explode. Feedback WHILE he do you is the key. Tell him that presistence is the key and to be PATIENT. 2006-04-20 11:32:00
220 1495 Yes... indeed it sucks... usually on something... lol... however, if not done properly will still suck ... but won't result in getting off something... lol... In all you do... be good! MissMoana, The Sensualist& 2006-04-25 01:59:24
220 1500 [user=543]MissMoana[/user] wrote: "Yes... indeed it sucks... usually on something... lol... however, if not done properly will still suck ... but won't result in getting off something... lol... In all you do... be good! MissMoana, The Sensualist " Your response made me giggle. I like the way you write things. 2006-04-26 12:23:44
222 1162 hello guys.. i was just browsing thro.. saw this website.. this has been really educating, where sex can be discussed, and doubts can be cleared. i am from India, where it is not so advanced, guys and gals dont even talk openly!.. so this is a perect arena to learn and experiment!.. thank you:)& 2006-02-13 04:01:43
222 1177 Hello and Welcome glad you have found this site helpful Princess 2006-02-18 15:50:48
227 1181 i find this site reallly helpful,and find the answers of lots of myths prevails in our society.........thanks ,and goodluck to this site makers 2006-02-20 22:54:27
227 1196 thank you and welcome :D Princess 2006-02-23 16:44:19
228 1182 why sex is legal& at 18+,is there is any special reason....one can find him self sexually active before that age& limit........then why there is age limit.every one has emotions ..........i think sex should be legal at all ages & & do u agree 2006-02-20 23:16:46
228 1183 The purpose of an age of consent exists primarily to protect young people from sexual predators. People recognize that before a certain age, people are not capable of making a rational and informed decision about sex. People don't always agree on that age, though, which is why the age of consent varies around the world anywhere from 12 to 21 years old (and in some cases does not exist or forbids pre-marital sex). Yes, you have sexual urges when you are younger than 18, but that doesn't mean you are mature enough to deal with the emotional complications involved in sex, to protect yourself against sexual predators, or to deal with unwanted pregancy or sexual diseases. Also, in regards to women there is an increased chance of various reproductive issues later in life (including cervical cancer) the sooner and more frequently before sexual maturity they have sex (and I mean internal, biological sexual maturity, not the superficial kind). So the short answer is no, people should not be able to have sex whenever they want, and adults should no be able to have sex with young people past a certain age. 2006-02-21 04:51:38
228 1184 I agree with dfs3 on this. People might have sexual urges but that doesn't mean they are mentally mature enough to be engaging in sex. In the U.K, where I live, the legal age is 16. Still, plenty of girls below that age get pregnant and people of both sexes below that age end up with sexually transmitted infection. Fact of the matter is, they haven't a clue what they are doing, they base their knowledge on old wives tales and such that they hear at school from other clueless mates. They think they know it all but they do not...like most teenagers... It isn't until they are significantly older that they realise just how stupid they were but, by that time, it is too often too late. 2006-02-21 11:37:58
228 1189 this mean sex is an emotional complexity,,,,,,,,is it true,,,,,,one find relaxment having fantastic sex,then how can it be complex .....i came toknew that many a peoples comit sex before their legal age,do they find them selves superior in emotion handling then the one hwo in hibit up to 18,,,,,, as u know pornograpy incressing ,and as a result enhancing people erotically..........papers a full of methods of seducing women& like that stuf,,,,, dont u think governent legislators should lessen this age limit of 18 years ,now a days one can be mature before that age datum the advantage one got is that the innocent boys and gils who ar curious of enjoying sex and the do it before 18 which is illegal,,,,can come within the law circle and have fun................whats ur opinion 2006-02-22 22:39:50
228 1190 They do not find themselves superior in their emotional handling by having under age sex. They do it because they want to be viewed as adults and think that sex will suddenly make them one and then carry on doing it because thats what adults are supposed to do. Unfortunately, this way of thinking is very immature compared with one who makes the decision to wait until they are older, more mature, before engaging in sex. Obviously, the latter are more wise knowing that having sex isn't suddenly going to make them feel like an adult or be seen as one by their parents or peers. They know better. Either that, are they are stronger mentally, strong enough to tell a pressurizing BF where to go if he threatens to dump her if she doesn't have sex with him and understands, as an adult would, that when he makes out she'd do it if she loved him, it's a ploy to get her into bed and that if he really loved her, he wouldn't try to emotionally blackmail her just so he can get laid. After all, I can't think of any 15 year olds who are mentally prepared to accept they contracted the HIV virus because they believed a school wives tale that you can't get infected or pregant if you had sex whilst standing up...yes, I've heard that crap for real....get my point? They also aren't metally prepared to find out, at 12 or 13, that they are pregant and about to have a baby before they have even become an adult themselves because they don't know enough about contraception and protection or are too naive and embarrassed to obtain it. I think that young people have so much else to be worrying about and working on than messing about with sex and such. Our society is too obsessed with sex like it is the be all and end all of everything. After seeing surveys in papers and magazines, it is astonishing how little young people actually know about sex. They think that STI's like HIV are only something that homosexuals or older people get, not teenagers. With this kind of mentality and attitude, do you think it is a great idea that they should be having sex? & 2006-02-23 07:31:33
228 1191 I agree with what everyone else is saying. & In my state the legal age of consent is 16. :? & I lost my virginity at 19.& I think it is best for people to wait until they are more mature and really are able to handle the responsibilities incase a pregnancy does occur.& Plus, usually younger teens don't really know what real love is. 2006-02-23 14:59:17
228 1198 [user=446]shmilyusman[/user] wrote: "this mean sex is an emotional complexity,,,,,,,,is it true,,,,,,one find relaxment having fantastic sex,then how can it be complex .....i came toknew that many a peoples comit sex before their legal age,do they find them selves superior in emotion handling then the one hwo in hibit up to 18,,,,,, as u know pornograpy incressing ,and as a result enhancing people erotically..........papers a full of methods of seducing women like that stuf,,,,, dont u think governent legislators should lessen this age limit of 18 years ,now a days one can be mature before that age datum the advantage one got is that the innocent boys and gils who ar curious of enjoying sex and the do it before 18 which is illegal,,,,can come within the law circle and have fun................whats ur opinion " as I said before, the age of consent varies according to where you live and what your culture deems appropriate. here in the USA the age of consent varies from state to state. In California, where I live, the age is 18 like it seems to be in Pakistan, but there are only 7 total states of 50 with an 18 year age of consent. In other states the age varies from 15 to 17. the thing you don't seem to be recognizing is that sex involves more than "fun". Sex is enjoyable, yes, but it also carries long term psychological and physical effects. The age of consent isn't to stop kids from having fun, as has been pointed out, it's to protect them from predators or from making poor choices before they are ready. kids under the age of consent don't have the ability to take care of a child properly if they happen to get pregnant, and getting AIDS isn't worth having a bit of sexual fun a year or two earlier. People will have plenty of time in their lives for sex once they are old enough to be smart about it. The age doesn't need to be lowered. 2006-02-24 06:33:53
228 1205 Hi All, I would like to make these points: Many adults above the age of 18 and 21 are irresponsible and set a bad example for those younger than themselves.& How many parents waited as long as they want their daughter to wait before exploring sex? It is a case of do as I say not as I do. Parents come across as hypocrites, they want their children to be more perfect than themselves. 60% of pregnancies are reportedly unplanned. There are tons of men above the age of 21 who refuse to wear a condom and their partner is more concerned about his pleasure than her own life and survival. Why then do we expect teens to use condoms? In the not so distant past teenagers were expected& to get& married and start families. Today, we consider people of the same age to be too immature to do the same. Are you old enough to die serving your country but too young to have sex? Are the same people we give the ability to kill thousands of people with a push of a button to immature for sex? What is the average age of people serving in the military? (I served in the military so don't take these comments in the wrong way.) Children are exposed to perverse and abnormal sex every day on TV but never healthy sexuality, or nudity. It is okay to have a sexually provocative advertisement for a movie but we get all bent out of shape when a female nipple appears for half a second on TV. How many times a week on TV do prime time& programs& show sex crimes? How exactly are teens suppose to learn how to engage in appropriate and healthy sex? By watching rape and sex crime scenes? How about all those faked orgasms? If we expect teenagers& to be& irresponsible then guess what, they are. If they are not held accountable they don't have to be. It is always the poor innocent girl, even if she is the aggressive one and knows her actions are wrong. If she hides her true age she is still& believed innocent. If you aren't going to be held accountable why not push the limits? We seem to ignore the number of women who are saying, in a survey on the website,& they experienced sexual desire before their first menstrual period, which likely occurred at around the age of twelve, when they are still in grade school. Just playing the Devil's advocate here. I am one of the first to tell teens to wait, but I am also a realist. Brad 2006-02-24 20:32:30
228 1213 In the end it really is up to the person to decide whether they are ready or not regardless of their age. Who are we to tell them that they are not emotionally ready to pursue a sexual relationship? The only person that can decide whether they are ready or not is the person themsevles. 2006-02-25 00:56:47
228 1216 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi All, I would like to make these points: Many adults above the age of 18 and 21 are irresponsible and set a bad example for those younger than themselves. How many parents waited as long as they want their daughter to wait before exploring sex? It is a case of do as I say not as I do. Parents come across as hypocrites, they want their children to be more perfect than themselves. 60% of pregnancies are reportedly unplanned. There are tons of men above the age of 21 who refuse to wear a condom and their partner is more concerned about his pleasure than her own life and survival. Why then do we expect teens to use condoms? " and how many of those parents have regrets or sexually related psychological issues as a result? in many of those cases it isn't hypocrisy, but an attempt by the parent to prevent their child from having to deal with the issues they went through themselves. if we always followed the examples of our predecessors we would never make any progress as a species. in the grand scheme of things, progress itself is hypocritical. 2006-02-25 02:33:26
228 1219 Yes, I have to agree on that one. No matter how many mistakes a given adult made in their younger years, I cannot think of one decent one who would be willing to just allow their children to make those same mistakes without trying to prevent it just so that they don't appear to by hypocritical. They use their acquired experience and knowledge from their own mistakes to try and prevent another from going down that same road. If I made a mistake, no matter what it was, and I then saw somebody else about to make the same mistake, I'd try to stop them in time but only because I knew the consequences, that I knew that person would end up suffering as a result of making that mistake. It is easier to learn from somebody elses mistake than to learn it the hard way yourself...but some people insist, don't they? They might go about preventing this chain in the wrong way, thats usually the main problem, doesn't mean their heart isn't in the right place sometimes,...along with the type of society we live in where everything revolves around sex from movies to advertising, where sex is the thing to be doing. I agree that there are a lot of irresponsible adults around who set bad examples and Tv programmes and films don't do them any favours either. I work in a Movie and game rental place "Blockbusters", most of you will have heard of them...and I get adults renting 18 games for their little kids. Still like GTA san andreas which has sex, violence, rape and all the rest. I commented to one grandma about the fact that this game was rated 18+ because I could see she was renting this game for a lad who looked about 10-11 and she just said, oh he's used to all that......so in many cases, kids can't push the limits because there are no limits to be pushed...anything and everything is acceptable. Still, if somebody was then to guide this same boy to an educational sex website like this one...I bet his family would soon disaprove then saying he is too young.....but why? Why, when they let him play games where his character rapes women and blows people to bits and stuff? & Yes, our whole society is messed up and most of us end up suffering for it, some of us more than others like me with my lovely vaginismus condition etc.... The real question would be how we sort all of this mess out and improve the attitude towards sex and sexuality and such....I know the UK government are completely clueless about how to convince teenagers to abstain from sex until they are older... Still, allowing children to engage in sex isn't really an answer to that question... 2006-02-25 09:49:55
228 1227 Hi, Since there is so little open dialog about sex between parents and their children I wonder how much parents share about their own sexual experiences? It seems the message girls are likely to get is to "keep your legs closed" without any explanations. Are parents willing to admit they messed up? I know one guy who told his daughter he would answer any question she had about sex as long as she did not ask about his personal experiences. Is she then willing to discuss her own personal issues? We say children and teens are too immature for sex but how much adult supervision do they have these days? How often do you see young teens out unsupervised at midnight? Teen girls dress in a way that advertises their physical attributes and sexuality but they aren't supposed to be having sex. What exactly does it mean when a young teen girl is hanging out at the mall showing her thong? Is it just fashion or is she sending out a message that she isn't ready& to handle the consequences of? When I was in grade school I believe the girls only wore plain white bras now ten-year-olds are wearing and showing off colorful and lacy Victoria Secret style bras? Is it just fashion or ??? Are they too young for sex but old enough to mimic an adult sex symbol? The increasing age of consent is the result of parents wanting society to be responsible for their children not themselves. Our local law was changed when a mom had a fit because her teen daughter was having sex with an older man. Where was this mom when they were having sex? Does this law prevent& teen girls from having sex? Does speed limits prevent people from speeding? Brad 2006-02-25 15:52:18
228 1230 Actually, the age of consent has been steadily DROPPING in the US. As I mentioned earlier, there are only seven states left in which the age of consent is 18 years. I think the average age of consent in the states is a little more than 16 years of age now. The kind of consent law that I find most appropriate is the kind of "sliding window" consent laws where teenagers past a certain age can only have sex with someone within a few years of their own age, thereby weeding out most of the obvious predators but still allowing reasonable relationships to take place. These laws were implaced for the kinds of situations where you have a couple that has been dating for a few years as minors, but one of them turns 18 before the other. In some of those cases the newly legal adult had been convicted of statutory rape, even though they had been semi-legally having sex for some time prior. 2006-02-25 17:42:00
228 1231 A lot of good points there and I agree with them. There has been a 12 year old girl in our town who got pregnant to an older BF, did he get charged with having sex with a child? No!!! Did she get into trouble for having underage sex? No!!! It's supposed to be against the law but there is no punishment for it. The girl simply got all this help from the authorities for her pregnancy and situation and, guess what, at 14, she was preggers again. So much for the help she got.. Again, the BF was much older and, again, he didn't get into any trouble over it. This same girls mother was only 26 making her the youngest grandmother....very worthy title eh? Obviously her daughter took after her. I also agree that many parents will not take responsiblity for their kids. Like the yobs who get expelled from school for throwing chairs at teachers and assaulting them, swearing and terrorizing other pupils etc....their parents simply complain the school didn't do enough to help their poor child who just happens to have attention deficit disorder which, in my opinion, translates into what I call SPS which stands for slack parent syndrome. I don't even believe in the existance of these excuse conditions. Slack parents are quick to take advantage of such things just so that they won't have other people seeing them as the useless and slack parent that they actually are. Same with sex issues. Parents are simply too embarrassed to talk about it openly with children and expect it to be the schools responsilibity but the sex ed I got at school was very limited...I didn't learn very much at all. Diagrams only showed a vagina, urethra and anus, nothing else. There was nothing about sexuality, only about reproduction and menstruation education for the girls. When parents do suddenly decide to talk about sex issues with their kids, by the time they do, the child is already too embarrassed to discuss those& things with them because they were so quiet about the subject previously when they deemed the child too young to know but we all know that kids come to know these things ever younger. They've already heard a whole load of stuff from peers before their parents ever get around to mentioning it and, as they assumed it was always an embarrassing and taboo subject before, they can't really be expected to suddenly feel comfortable discussing it with parents when the invisible line is suddenly crossed and they are, all of a sudden, deemed old enough by their parents to know these things. I remember this happening with me and I remember feeling exactly that way. & 2006-02-25 17:58:09
228 1232 Maybe the reason why so many kids are having underage sex is because the sexual world suddenly opens up when they hit the teenage years. In our society a naked body is a bad thing. If a pair of breasts are shown on TV or in a magazine all hell breaks loose, let alone showing the full female or male figure. I'm not talking about porn i mean just the natural human body. Sex is also a bad thing, its not discussed in the average household and is viewed as an 'off-topic'. But when these kids hit puberty suddenly they have these sexual urges and they are thrown into a world with sex. Maybe if kids were exposed to sex (i'm not talking about them having sex or watching people have sex) from a young age in a fairly controlled manner then they wouldnt suddenly feel this need to do it because they would already be exposed to sex for a large portion of their lives. 2006-02-25 23:10:59
228 1238 Yeah, the thing I notice is that sex is frowned upon and seen as dirty and children are denied their sexual developments because it is seen as abnormal for children to be sexual until they& become adults and, at the same time, you get adverts, tv programmes and all the rest all revolving around sex. Sex is shoved in our faces all the time, everyday. Even totally innocent TV sitcoms made back in the more reserved& 50s and 60s use humour which implies sexual subjects, it's just said in a way that a child wouldn't get...but it is still revolving around the issues of sex... No wonder people get confused and messed up living in a society like that which can't make up& and continually tells everyone that sex is dirty, sinful and bad but at the same time, it is cool, feels great, is the thing to do and you aren't normal if you don't do it and have mind blowing orgasms every single time. 2006-02-26 09:49:26
228 1247 [user=452]gort[/user] wrote: "Maybe the reason why so many kids are having underage sex is because the sexual world suddenly opens up when they hit the teenage years. " that's exactly why we have that problem in the US. the problem is that the corporate world markets sex to teenagers, their prime demographic, every hour of ever day of every week. However, since America is largely morally conservative, the word for the day is "abstinence", and any discussion about safe sex is seen as promoting kids having sex, so discussion is strongly discouraged. As a result, kids are bombarded with sex but never taught how to deal with that information, so they just follow their instincts and end up pregnant or sick or both. The most obvious fix is to teach abstinence in conjunction with safe sex, but unfortunately we just don't seem to be smart enough to figure that out. 2006-02-26 17:25:45
228 1248 Yeah, same here in the UK. They come up with ideas to teach youngsters about sex and sexuality and then there are those who oppose it saying it is just encouraging them to have sex earlier...I suppose these people would rather children grow up knowing nothing about sex and not have a clue what they are doing when they do finally get into it. 2006-02-26 17:53:45
228 1253 what do u think who is more responsible in comitting sex so earlier..........is it is a boy who whas more desire or u can say ar more curious about finding out sex before concent age. my question is that who matures first? if a girl matures first then she would allowed to have sexual relatons with respect to the guys of that age.................come first get first basis ........do u agree with me 2006-02-27 23:24:15
228 1254 I don't think either would necessarily mature faster than the other and having sex wouldn't make them more mature either. I knew kids who thought an orgasm was just a sexual urge..that having a sexual urge meant they were experiencing orgasm...... You get immature kids who know nothing having sex for different reasons and the same goes for many& adults, makes no difference. The most mature and wise decision is to wait as long as possible before engaging in sex instead of thinking there is some kind of mad rush to be doing it as soon as possible. Nothing about sex makes a person mature, it is the general existing maturity of that person which decides what kind of decisions thay make about sex, thats all. Jumping into it too early whether it is succumbing to desire or peer pressure or whatever, is not what I'd call a representation of a mature attitude, it is more about a desire to comform to societies obsession with sex, something a mature adult would see for the ridiculous standard that it is and ignore it. 2006-02-28 09:58:32
228 1255 as we all know HUMAN BEING IS THE MOST SUPERIORST CREATION IN THE NATURE. & if we took tis matter naturally a girl matures when she is having her periods,and this age comes roung about 12 years of age,,,,then by nature she should be mature enough within a year or so that she can well decide it self either to go for it or to inhibit......... & it will go against the nature if one regulation resist any one in disturbing natural activity...... & & I THINK ONE SHOULD GIVE RIGHT TO HAVE DECISION BY IT SELF......ya education of safer sex is mustly in the coarses so the society can produce mature offsprings and that can set example 4 new commers. if this wall of age remain terrifing us then there would be an urgue of crossing in secrecy,an then many problems arise,,, 2006-02-28 10:09:23
228 1258 Girls are starting their periods ever earlier these days because they are heavier. Surveys show that the heavier a girl is, the earlier she is likely to start her periods. In the past when so many young people weren't overweight or even obese, girls didn't start periods quite so early. Poorer diets and such made sure they grew more slowly and waited longer until puberty. Also, as we know, mother nature plays a part but then she made her rules well before humans developed the society we have today and past such& behaviour does not fit into this modern& society. It might have benefitted prehistoric man who was struggling to survive like other animals did. To have intercourse is to risk pregnancy. Teenagers are not generally mature enough to bring children up into balanced adults. These children grow up into an everlasting teenager themselves because it is the only basis they ever get to know from being young because thats the example their teenage parents pass down to them. Children are better with older, more mature people who have matured beyond being a teenager,& who have learnt how to resolve problems and disagreements in a more diplomatic way than what many teengers are capable of. Everyone knows how teengers are usually highly strung and argumentative and the only way they know to stand their ground is to go off on one...literally....I know some adults are but then they shouldn't have kids half the time either. Also, I wouldn't go so far as to say we are the most superior species. We are only the most intelligent....and most destructive... Stick an unnarmed man in a pit with a lion and who would win? Stick him against a chimp and the chimp would win because they are also& much stronger. In many animals, the part of the& brain that controls relflex and movement is far superior to ours. Senses in animals are very often way superior to those of humans such as smell, hearing, sight etc.... & I'm not quite sure why you think sex is so important for underage teenagers like they are going to die or something if they don't get it. More likely they'll die of something if they do, if they aren't careful... I went through my teenage years without feeling the need to engage in sex and I wasn't an immature teenager, not like half the ones I knew who were having sex... 2006-02-28 15:32:08
228 1261 [user=446]shmilyusman[/user] wrote: "as we all know HUMAN BEING IS THE MOST SUPERIORST CREATION IN THE NATURE." To quote Douglas Adams: "Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons." and once again I will repeat: just because a child is physically capable of becoming pregnant or impregnating someone does NOT mean they are emotionally, socially, or financially capable of dealing with the CONSEQUENCES of sex. just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD. 2006-02-28 15:54:27
230 1193 I'm just curious as to what you all feel around Oral Sex.& Last night& I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone and we were talking about sex.& He told me he never liked performing oral sex as much before, but that he enjoys doing it to me.& I mentioned I felt the same way.& I think most of the reason is because we have such strong feelings for each other and we put our feelings into it. What are your views? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Do you also think that hair has something to do with it?& He mentioned before that he had never been with a girl that shaved before until me.& 2006-02-23 15:10:02
230 1194 Hi Lady..I think it has to do with how our genitals smell , once we "recognize" our mate particular smell we enjoy it much more...What do you think? Luisa 2006-02-23 16:07:55
230 1199 oral sex is a great way to please your partner, especially for a man since we generally don't have the sexual longevity of women. it keeps us in the game longer than we normally would be. also, its just nice as a way to focus your attention on your partner. so to me, if a woman has good hygiene and doesn't smell or taste bad, I'm completely into oral sex. like many other people, I hate having hair in my mouth (from any source), so some kind of hair maintenance has to be going on. I don't expect a full wax or anything, but I'm not about to bury my face in a forest of hair either. 2006-02-24 07:19:08
230 1214 i enjoy giving oral sex to women. The reason is because during sex i've been told that most women are not able to orgasm and that it is really quite dull, adding to the fact that most guys are finished in about two minutes. whereas during oral, guys do not have to worry about lasting and they do not have to feel guilty for not providing enough pleasure. for me chicks have to be shaved or waxed, i hate getting hair in my teeth. lol. 2006-02-25 01:09:48
230 1225 [user=19]luisa1[/user] wrote: "Hi Lady..I think it has to do with how our genitals smell , once we "recognize" our mate particular smell we enjoy it much more...What do you think? Luisa" I don't even smell anything when I'm down there.& It's not really noticeable if he does.& I know I have a certain smell... in my opinion, I love my smell.& I do agree with you Luisa.& 2006-02-25 15:25:48
230 1229 Hi I think the sense of smell helps a lot to enjoy oral sex considering that we can smeell thru the tongue...when we lap the genitals we actually "smell" Luisa 2006-02-25 17:05:38
230 1234 I actually love giving much more than I love recieving. It's not a comfort thing, I'm completly comfortable with recieving oral sex from my boyfriend. But I find getting him off just as rewarding as getting off myself Sometimes, I actually feel more 'complete' after getting him off than I do after getting off. Normally after I please him, I'm done, and have no desire to get off myself, I just was to curl up in bed and snuggle him and watch some MST3K (that's what computer geeks do after sex)or something. And normally if I get off first, I've got no energy left to do anything for him right away. This tends to result in me giving a lot more than recieving, and I love it that way. 2006-02-26 00:13:18
230 1235 [user=19]luisa1[/user] wrote: "Hi I think the sense of smell helps a lot to enjoy oral sex considering that we can smeell thru the tongue...when we lap the genitals we actually "smell" Luisa " actually, you don't smell through your tongue. what I think you're getting at is that your sense of taste is mostly derived from your sense of smell. your tongue can only sense sweet, savory, salty, sour, and bitter (and there is some new evidence that there is a small area that responds specifically to MSG). The rest of what we perceive as taste is actually smell, since we can smell what is in our mouth. 2006-02-26 06:50:36
230 1241 [user=457]KeddyPie[/user] wrote: "I actually love giving much more than I love recieving. It's not a comfort thing, I'm completly comfortable with recieving oral sex from my boyfriend. But I find getting him off just as rewarding as getting off myself Sometimes, I actually feel more 'complete' after getting him off than I do after getting off. Normally after I please him, I'm done, and have no desire to get off myself, I just was to curl up in bed and snuggle him and watch some MST3K (that's what computer geeks do after sex)or something. And normally if I get off first, I've got no energy left to do anything for him right away. This tends to result in me giving a lot more than recieving, and I love it that way. " & I am somewhat similar.& I absolutely love giving head to my boyfriend and I love getting it back from him.& I usually do give more though, when I have my period, I am the one that's only giving.& & He feels bad because he wishes he could do something for me, but I'm not comfortable enough with that.& I& also think it's gross to do things& when menstruating.& & Usually he'll go first on me, give me a second to catch my breathe and then I'll go down on him.& That's how it always goes.& Especially since I swallow, it wouldnt' be a good idea for him to go second especially since he kisses me after I've gone down on him.& That makes it risky. & 2006-02-26 11:49:41
230 1243 Blah, I hate doing naughty things when I'm on my period. >_< It's actually pretty unfortunate, because that tends to be when I'm most promiscuous feeling! I never really understood why my hormones were telling me to have sex the time of the month there's so little chance to get pregnany. You'd think instincs would be telling me that it's a bad time for such things. Ah well. ^^ 2006-02-26 12:19:33
230 1246 [user=457]KeddyPie[/user] wrote: "Blah, I hate doing naughty things when I'm on my period. >_< It's actually pretty unfortunate, because that tends to be when I'm most promiscuous feeling!" Well, take some satisfaction in that it's not just you. A great deal of women are most easily arroused while menstruating. If you can get over the whole sense of uncleanliness part, its actually a pretty safe time for sex if you are trying to avoid pregnancy. 2006-02-26 17:15:51
230 1251 Hi. Hope you're interested in male opinions on this subject. I believe that trust is a huge part of it. Many guys have a disdainful attitude toward receiving oral sex, because we learn a lot of negative things about it: that only whores and easy girls do it, that it's dirty (physically and morally), etc. After all, what's one of the most disrespectful a guy can say to someone: "Suck my dick!" So we're ambivalent about it. And I think women well sense and know our attitudes. I've discussed this with more than one woman who worries that guys treat receiving oral sex like a blowjob in a back alley, so they (the women) are reluctant to engage in it. But a trusting relationship will dispel that, I think. And as for hair: I guess it's a matter of personal preference. I personally think that a woman's natural pubic hair is a huge turn-on that dramatically enhances the pleasure of oral sex. Same with scent. Thanks. 2006-02-27 16:55:23
230 1398 does vaginal secretions have a milky color? 2006-04-09 21:21:28
230 1405 yes at different times of the month. Please see the other answers to your questions where I have put links. I think you will find them useful. Princess 2006-04-10 05:36:27
230 1408 Hi! i was wondering if you and your BF notice if your diet affects each other's taste or smell during oral sex. 2006-04-10 20:14:02
230 1420 I LOVE it!! It is more of "feedback tool" that pleases one other. I love to become an ocean for my wife, smothering every piece of her soul, watching her awe in pleasure, feels like breathing my soul out towards her, munching on the love orifice in double ways, flesh and soul intermixed into perfection. My soul evorpates a heavy sigh, increases density while watching my lover (wife) moan in utter universe, raining warm waters into my soul. damn, that is how I love it when I eat her pussy. 2006-04-13 14:55:11
230 1446 [user=493]tomcat[/user] wrote: "Hi! i was wondering if you and your BF notice if your diet affects each other's taste or smell during oral sex."Oh definitely. It's really good for a guy to drink juices and lots of water. His cum tastes different and not as sweet when he drinks soda. I have done my own experiment with myself, before. I noticed if I ate different things, I tasted different down there. I tend to drink water. 2006-04-17 12:00:47
230 1447 [user=519]LinuxGold[/user] wrote: "I LOVE it!! It is more of "feedback tool" that pleases one other. I love to become an ocean for my wife, smothering every piece of her soul, watching her awe in pleasure, feels like breathing my soul out towards her, munching on the love orifice in double ways, flesh and soul intermixed into perfection. My soul evorpates a heavy sigh, increases density while watching my lover (wife) moan in utter universe, raining warm waters into my soul. damn, that is how I love it when I eat her pussy." Do you write poetry? I really like how you describe how oral sex is to you. 2006-04-17 12:01:39
230 1453 Yes, I do write poetry. Here is one of the few: O! How I awe at your tiny clitoris, O! Such beauty!, Snugged betwix hood, vulva and lips looking so fruity! Tighening and cute vulvas, guarding the pussy so sweet, Moistened with love juice all around with heat, Dripping wetily as it gaze at my cute face, Softens submissively at my approaching finger with grace, Hugging around my finger as it stroke up and down lightly, Feeling aroused, your clitoris swells up ever so tightly, As I finger up your clitoris under the hood, My finger strokes your clitoris and you feel so good, Strokin' in oceanic rhythm nicely and slow, In intense and orgasmic explosions your juices flow, Your clitoris begs for my wet and comfortable tongue, Slowly explodes while my wet and loving tongue slowly swung, Into rocking and oceanic motion you moan, Building up into eruptic flow of orgasm as you groan, Your orgasm overflows your mind and soul, As your fondled clitoris with multiple orgasms it extol, You explode and implode with hot lava of emotion, You yield your juice so fierce into an ocean, You sigh in relief, so complete and free, And your clitoris evaporates into a sweet and rosary potpourri. 2006-04-18 10:48:01
230 1468 Ladybug, I am a male and I love doing oral sex on a woman.The reason that I love doing it is that it is one of my& Biggest turnons,I love the woman's sex scent and the way she tastes.There are times where I love doing it more than having intercourse.don't get me wrong I love having intercourse too,But that's the way I feel sometimes.I love seeing how much pleasure that she& be getting out of& from doing it to her.Her sex scent& and taste is what drives me wild for her. Howie_t :) 2006-04-19 22:41:04
230 1470 [user=516]howie_t[/user] wrote: "Ladybug, I am a male and I love doing oral sex on a woman.The reason that I love doing it is that it is one of my Biggest turnons,I love the woman's sex scent and the way she tastes.There are times where I love doing it more than having intercourse.don't get me wrong I love having intercourse too,But that's the way I feel sometimes.I love seeing how much pleasure that she be getting out of from doing it to her.Her sex scent and taste is what drives me wild for her. Howie_t :) " I agree with you there! While licking that sweet world, it heats up the flaring fire inside, makes my penis throbbin' for that sweet mound, my soul outreaching for implosion, munching that eternal energy into my fierce soul, until I just can't hold it back anymore, giving my penis mercy that it deserves for waiting. 2006-04-20 08:57:02
230 1473 [user=516]howie_t[/user] wrote: "Ladybug, I am a male and I love doing oral sex on a woman.The reason that I love doing it is that it is one of my Biggest turnons,I love the woman's sex scent and the way she tastes.There are times where I love doing it more than having intercourse.don't get me wrong I love having intercourse too,But that's the way I feel sometimes.I love seeing how much pleasure that she be getting out of from doing it to her.Her sex scent and taste is what drives me wild for her. Howie_t :) " I'm the same way about giving head. I just love it. :D 2006-04-20 18:34:37
230 1475 May I ask you this Ladybug? Have you ever gone down on your guy after he has been inside of you? Like in after you 2 has had sex?If you have,Did you like doing that too.One day I am hoping to experience going down on a woman after we have had sex to see what it's like after mines and her juices have mixed.I have heard and read alot from women about having their guy going down on them after they have had sex.Also have you ever had that happen to you? Howie_t :D 2006-04-20 20:51:40
230 1477 I've kissed my boyfriend after he's gone down on me, but I haven't gone down on him after having sex. Reason: We wear condoms and the taste of ladex just isn't appealing. Since I'm unable to reach an orgasm just by having sex, he usually goes down on me after he's orgasmed. He hasn't really told me anything about me tasting any different, but I wouldn't doubt I taste a little like latex. I know about the flavored condoms, but you're not supposed to use them for intercourse. You're only to use them for felatio. 2006-04-21 17:36:31
230 1478 That something that I wish that I could get the chance to do to a woman after we have had sex and I have cum in her after our juices have mix together.I keep having dreams or fantsies about a woman taking TOTALY control and making me going down on her until she orgasm several times in my mouth.Everytime I have them I get turnon more and more. :D& 2006-04-21 21:46:40
230 1493 I love the poem! I'm a sensualist and have written many of my own.& I just wanted to add to the discussion that for me, oral sex was an adjustment.& I was raped most of my childhood and oral sex was force on my little body.& Most of the time,& thinking of going down on a man was painful and made me want to vomit.& I sometimes would do it and feel so dirty.& Then I fell in love with my journey partner and I drewl just thinking about his sugar cane.& So much is mental you know?& He helped my spirit soar above the painful memories to where only he and I existed and now I by pass the& songs of sorrow to reach maximum intake with him.& I now find it pleasing.& & For anyone who is& still recovering from such trauma, I hope this offers hope.& In all you do, be good... MissMoana, The Sensualist& 2006-04-25 01:48:43
230 1497 Thanks for that being as I suffer a sexual aversion even though I was never abused/raped or anything. I don't think I met the right person yet but I'm hoping that meeting the right bloke would have the same affect on me as it did you. 2006-04-25 13:23:33
230 1498 [user=543]MissMoana[/user] wrote: "So much is mental you know? " Well the largest female sex organ is the brain :D Princess 2006-04-25 16:24:28
230 1521 :PThe thought of oral sex turns me on.& Today is my 75th birthday, and some twelve years ago I had prostate surgery resulting in incontinence and impotence.& For almost 5 years I was unable to get an erection, so the only sex I could have was oral sex.& I became so fond of going down on my wife that even after my urologist introduced me to Caverject, an injection into my penis which always results in& a good erection, I still frequently perform cunnilingus on my wife.& I find it extremely erotic, and love the taste of her pussy.& & Most of the time after I have made her cum, she can't wait for& me to penetrate her.& This frequently results in another orgasm.& & She rarely returns the favor, but frankly I like licking her better than having her put my penis into her mouth.:D& & 2006-04-30 16:34:44
230 1552 Aww. That's great. 2006-05-02 19:44:01
230 1596 Oral sex was one of the wildest sexual experiances I had. My girlfriend(soon to be fiancee:) and I were going out to the cinema with my friend and his girlfriend. It was late evening. They decided to stop by a shop with cameras etc but we decided to wait in the car(it was cold outside) that was parked infront of the shop. We started kissing a bit and then she shocked me by asking if she could play with her toy(thats how she affectionately calls my penis, hehe) I was shocked, this wasnt something I was expecting and I got an instant hard-on. She unziped my pants and started sucking me. It was one of the most thrilling experiences ever, though we do get crazy ideas sometimes;) So...yes, I love it! I also love performing oral on my girlfriend. Seeing how much pleasure she gets from it is a big turn on. Satisfying her like that makes me feel more manly than anyting else. 2006-05-13 20:07:53
230 1604 [user=571]daniel[/user] wrote: "Oral sex was one of the wildest sexual experiances I had. My girlfriend(soon to be fiancee:) and I were going out to the cinema with my friend and his girlfriend. It was late evening. They decided to stop by a shop with cameras etc but we decided to wait in the car(it was cold outside) that was parked infront of the shop. We started kissing a bit and then she shocked me by asking if she could play with her toy(thats how she affectionately calls my penis, hehe) I was shocked, this wasnt something I was expecting and I got an instant hard-on. She unziped my pants and started sucking me. It was one of the most thrilling experiences ever, though we do get crazy ideas sometimes;) So...yes, I love it! I also love performing oral on my girlfriend. Seeing how much pleasure she gets from it is a big turn on. Satisfying her like that makes me feel more manly than anyting else. " I've done that before... I performed felatio on my boyfriend in the movie theater parking lot. It turned me on so much. But when it was my turn, didn't really do anything for me. I think I was more scared about getting caught with him going down on me than I was about getting caught sucking on my boyfriend. Good times. :) 2006-05-14 17:31:29
230 1719 I know I might be asking for the impossible, but at least you might try.& This might be something that we, as guys, could learn and to understand how it is like when we go down on you gals and that might help us to improve on how we satisfy you gals. Can you tell us, in any way -- scientifically, poetically, novelty or whatever -- how it feel when we eat up your pussy, how you want it -- quick, slow, differently at each time, pressingly, light as feathers or whatever?& Personally, I LOVE feedback, the way you describe things feed intense urge into our desire in wanting to& put you on upper level, to a point that you would explode into our faces.& Don't be shy, try and write something that we can learn! 2006-06-19 11:34:13
230 1723 Don't put too much pressure on. That just hurts. My ex did that to me thinking that girls like pressure like guys want on their penis's. Not true, it just crushes sensitive tissue and causes us pain. Some pressure is ok but you need to learn where the limit is and every woman is different so you'll need to ask her. Don't think for one minute that if you can do it perfect for one woman, you can do the same for the next and she'll love it....chances are, she won't. Each new partner you might have will mean you learning all over again. These guys who think they are gods in bed generally are talking out of their arses. Light touches are great but exactly where a woman feels the best sensations would vary. Some don't feel much in their clit but do on their urethra. Others are opposite. Leaving these areas until last is often best. Slow build up is the idea. In fact, plenty of attention should have been given to other areas of her body before you reach the vulva. Sometimes, leaving the vulva again after oral started& for a minute or so and concentrating on the area around it again& like the labia majora or upper inner thighs can help build tension which has this habit of exploding when you go back to the vulva again, especially the most sensitive area. Sorry there is no set formula for this. Your real info would come from the female partner you are currently with. Some women don't like oral at all. I'm sure others will have other tips and things they like. 2006-06-19 12:44:36
230 1724 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Don't put too much pressure on. That just hurts. My ex did that to me thinking that girls like pressure like guys want on their penis's. Not true, it just crushes sensitive tissue and causes us pain. Some pressure is ok but you need to learn where the limit is and every woman is different so you'll need to ask her. Don't think for one minute that if you can do it perfect for one woman, you can do the same for the next and she'll love it....chances are, she won't. Each new partner you might have will mean you learning all over again. These guys who think they are gods in bed generally are talking out of their arses. Light touches are great but exactly where a woman feels the best sensations would vary. Some don't feel much in their clit but do on their urethra. Others are opposite. Leaving these areas until last is often best. Slow build up is the idea. In fact, plenty of attention should have been given to other areas of her body before you reach the vulva. Sometimes, leaving the vulva again after oral started& for a minute or so and concentrating on the area around it again& like the labia majora or upper inner thighs can help build tension which has this habit of exploding when you go back to the vulva again, especially the most sensitive area. Sorry there is no set formula for this. Your real info would come from the female partner you are currently with. Some women don't like oral at all. I'm sure others will have other tips and things they like. "Thanks for the tips. :)& & I know feedback is essential part in achieving greatest orgasm, can& you, at least, tell us how it feels like, fascinations and the like?& 2006-06-19 13:09:46
230 1729 I love it when my boyfriend explores me with his mouth.& I prefer him to touch me with his tongue rather his fingers.& It's softer that way.& But before he starts to eat me out, he usually does some soft caresses and little licks with his tongue to drive me insane and yearn for his touch even more.& He'll do that until I shove his face into me.& Then he'll get the hint that I no longer can take any more teasing. Light circular motions of the tongue over the clit and light sucking.& Sometimes even sticking his tongue in me adds a different feeling that I really like.& After he brings me to orgasm, he usually hangs out down there a little longer to make me squirm because I get to the point that I really can't take anymore touches, and my whole body starts twitching and he thinks it's funny.& I know he does it jokingly, because I laugh with him when he does it.& But when I really can't take it anymore, I push him away. 2006-06-19 16:26:14
230 1735 I'm still getting used to oral myself.& I actually dreamed about giving it for a good long time, but my one ex-boyfriend was scared I would bite his penis (there's a reason why he's an ex ...) and my current boyfriend and I were trying to take things very, very, very slowly.& I think I surprised him quite a bit when I went down there ... it was a few days after we told each other we loved each other for the first time.& To me, exploring every inch of my boyfriend's body with every inch of mine is just another way that the two of us share our closeness and experience each other.& Plus, I don't plan on having (vaginal) sex until I'm married, and he knows this and is VERY careful, so I like being able to please him in some other way. As far as him giving me oral ... it feels good, but I feel so bad when he does it, because of all the hair and fluids and stuff.& It just doesn't seem like something he should enjoy, although he tells me he loves my smell and taste.& I'm the first girl he's ever performed oral on, so we're just barely beginning to explore.& It's fun, even the places where I feel uncomfortable, because we're coming to terms with each other and ourselves.& I think baring a place as sensitive as that to someone you truly love really helps to build a sort of confidence in your own body, your emotions, and your physical sensations, a confidence that a cerebral perfectionist like myself rarely has. Anyway, yes I quite like giving it, and I'm learning to enjoy recieving it!& Although I'm quite sensitive, so my tips are VERY LITTLE pressure, AVOID any friction, and try to part the hair if she isn't shaved (which I don't ever plan on being, myself ... my boyfriend likes "natural" girls ... who shave their legs lol).& Oh, and building up, to.& If the girl you are with is new to this sort of thing, she's probably going to need a break to think and accept and build up ^-^ 2006-06-20 00:18:39
230 1739 Here's something fun my boyfriend did a while ago.& You know these chocolate candies shaped like a penis head and filled with cream inside (I have no clue how they're called in English), my boyfriend picked one up, sat next to me while I was watching TV and started licking that candy.& he cracked the chocolate and started licking the cream inside very very slowly as if he's licking me, he was eating, licking and flicking his tongue on that thing as if it was a pussy.& OMG I completely forgot about the show I was watching, I was sooo turned on, and completely wet after the 10 minutes it took him to finish it off.& A pretty fast way to get me in the mood. It was so much fun watching him. 2006-06-21 06:58:12
230 1740 Kay, dang, good way to get started.& As for me, I just took my penis out and start stroking in front of my wife.& I pushed my pubic bone skin down far enough to make it look "longer", I sucked my stomach inward as well and stroked it slowly from top to bottom and while it go up, I held my skin a little firmly, lifting balls and drop it as I go back down.& She just stared at it for 5 to 10 minutes, then took it away from me and gave me blow job.& Her pussy was so juicy that she offered it in exchange for hotdog that she ate.& 2006-06-21 07:04:31
230 2595 Oh my god! I sure wish I had& a boyfriend right now . . . one who loved giving and getting oral sex . . . one who has that "potent" scent that I love. Some of these descriptions are so hot I'm just going to have to log off and go masturbate! 2006-09-09 15:20:35
231 1200 hello, i was looking on www.the-clitoris.com and i read that pre pubescant girls do have labia minora. i was unaware of this, as when i was younger and i used to 'explore' my sister and other females i didnt notice them there whereas i noticed every other sexual structure. so do pre pubescant girls have labia minora or do they not? 2006-02-24 07:20:16
231 1201 I'm sure I had them. I didn't do much looking though but I do vaguely remember on the odd occassion that I did& have a peak that they were there. They are probably just less obvious at a younger age. 2006-02-24 09:43:45
231 1202 puberty may cause changes in the shape and size of things, but it doesn't cause entire new things to grow. 2006-02-24 15:33:39
231 1204 oh ok, fair enough. Can anybody give me a website where it shows female/male development from birth through to adulthood through drawing and text? 2006-02-24 20:07:02
231 1206 Hi, Since I haven't seen a preadolescent girl's vulva for many many years I had to refer to my medical references. In general, the inner labia were not very distinct, being almost absent. The clitoris and it's hood were much more prominent. The inner labia were only discernible near the clitoris. If you aren't looking for them you may not notice. During puberty the inner labia frequently undergo a significant increase in size, though some women retain their small or even absent inner labia. I am not aware of any websites that show the development of the female genitals from birth onward.& Legal issues exist in the US if one were to create a website that did. Others have asked for the same, sometime being a parent who simply wanted to know if their daughter's vulva was normal. There are preadolescent girls who have very distinct vulvar structures and adult women who have tiny labia and clitorises. In absence of pubic hair you may not be able to tell how old a woman is by the size and shape of her vulva, though her mucousal tissues change from red to pink during puberty, as a result of the increased estrogen. Brad 2006-02-24 20:59:44
231 1212 best answer yet, thanks a lot :) oh BTW i was not talking about photographs, i was talking about sketches/drawings like what you would find in a biology/medical book. 2006-02-25 00:16:39
231 1228 Hi, We recently discussed this topic in relation to my new website that is only about female anatomy, not sex. While there is& a need I don't believe we will address it anytime soon, if at all. I have seen some photos on websites created by doctors but they likely have more leeway than me. We have been adding to the 3D website if you haven't visited since I mentioned it was up and running. We are making progress but still lots of work to be done. [url=www.3dvulva.com] www.3dvulva.com Brad 2006-02-25 16:02:36
232 1203 this thread isn't geared towards the typical woman who lays on her back and uses her hand or a simple toy for direct stimulation, though if you are so inclined to share, feel free. this is geared towards women who have less obvious techniques of masturbation. for instance, every now and then I hear about "hangers" that grab the top of a pole/door/vertical edge, hang from it, and wrap their legs around it to grind against it. my question is: if you have some technique that is rather unusual or doesn't seem like it would be obvious or intuitive, how did you discover it? 2006-02-24 17:16:52
232 1207 There are many shared masturbation techniques and experiences on the main website that address this subject. 2006-02-24 21:03:07
232 1210 When I was very young, I had a constant bruise on my inner left thigh up near the ligament that is in a persons groin. A mark left of my pubic area, shall we call it. I used to laen on the corner of kitchen chairs, waist high cabinets with a courner that I could hold on the other side and sort of grind against, but mostly just a bit of pressure at that age did the trick. My dad used to try stop me by saying I would never be able to wear a bikini or show off myself in a swimsuit, if I didnt stop.( American parents, wanting a cheer leader or gymnast out of me) My Uncle however told me that I was over sexed for my age and needed relief. So whenever I stayed at my grandparents on the farm, where he still lived, he encouraged me to indulge in this practice of leaning agains things for release, and took it upon himself to be my tutor and aid in releasing these etraordinary special feelings. I am passed that now, but still that is the only way I can masturbate. These days I lean on the corner of the end of the bed, fantasising about doggy style penetration from an older male or dog! Because my uncle introduced me to that also and compaired my urges to that of a randy dog humping someones leg, so let his dog ease his urges to do that& by penetrating me either vaginaly or anally! 2006-02-24 22:07:23
237 1233 I'm glad I found this forum, I don't have anyone to talk to about things of a sexual nature. I'm 18, am very sexual, though in a strict sense have never had sex. I've only had one serious boyfriend, who I've been dedicated to for 14 months and we've been very happy together. We do a lot of things together and spend a lot of time together, and really intend to be with each other forever (though at this age, it seems naive to think it'll continue to work out, the odds for high-school sweeties working out is working against us, but I think it's possible. I'm in love.) We recently (last month) decided we were finally at the point that we should go that extra step farther and have sex. I'm defenitly the one in this relationship who wants it more, but we're both pretty eager. Unfortunatly, we never have time alone. My parents don't approve of us being alone in my room here (though they do adore him and accept him), and his parents never leave the house. Because of the complete lack of privacy and out unwillingness to do things like this in unconvential places, we still have not gone that extra step. I actually find it very frusterating, but try my best to be understanding. But it does get akward when you're really getting into it and decide to go that extra step, and your mother knocks on the door and says she has pie for us. >_> Glad to be here, gang. Hope I fit in. - Katy //edit// I'd also like to add that my boyfriend is also a first-timer, I'm his first girlfriend since elementry. We're both networking kids, geeks in the biggest way, which is awesome because we're both so similar and love the same things. We probably play Magic the Gathering and Dungeons and Dragons more than we spend time just snuggling. ^_^ We adore each other //and while we're at it, another edit// I've been just reading this forum for about an hour, and it alone makes me feel more secure in my relationship. Since I've only had one other relationship (BAD, abusive, you know the drill) I really have nothing to base things up. But reading about others relationships makes me feel very good about mine. Odd enough, the thread about giving head on the bottom of the page makes me feel good about my relationship. It seems that those very close enjoy swollowing, but those with or who have been with people they were not comfortable with never swollowed, it bothered them. The fac that I enjoy pleasing my partner, and have always enjoyed swollowing makes me feel like maybe we're more comfortable than a lot of other people. That's a good feeling. 2006-02-25 23:38:18
237 1236 [user=457]KeddyPie[/user] wrote: " We probably play Magic the Gathering " I normally don't do the "welcome to the board" thing, but I had to address this :P I've been playing magic for probably nine or ten years. I started in high school playing with about a dozen other people during lunch, and then afterwards in college and beyond playing on the weekends with a couple close friends. It's easily the longest running and consistent thing I've ever participated in. So yeah, major geek here too. 2006-02-26 07:05:17
237 1237 Nah, not a geek, haha. Here is a 26 year old woman who collects and grows cacti, haha. Don't get many people my age doing that, do you? I prefer people who have unique interests and such to the bog standard bores who don't do anything other than work/go to school/college, wherever they are at...shop...and go out and get drunk. I mean what kind of life is that? As for the privacy thing, yeah, I know that feeling. At least at my house anyway. my sister walked in on my ex and me one time and started shouting and laughing downstairs how she caught us at it but& I think my parents had a word with her about it. Being as she was like 23 at the time, she should've been a bit more mature about stuff like that. My stepdad later fitted a bolt to my door so I could lock it, haha. Fortunately, there was a lot more privacy at my BFs house even though there were more people living there. Nobody ever walked into his room without knocking and then waiting for invite but his family generally didn't bother us and keep asking if we wanted things here there and everywhere anyway. At 18, nobody really has the right to stop you from pursuing sexual relations anyway although it is always better the longer you wait. I'm not really sure what I'd do if I was in your situation though. Unless you talked to your parents and told them that you are old enough now to have more privacy and to make these decisions for yourself. The only other thing would be to move out if and when you can, lol. 2006-02-26 09:41:44
237 1239 Well, the boy will be moving in to a dorm 90 miles away in July ;_; this is going to create a lot more problems than it will good things, but it will offer us privacy. They have guest rooms in the dorms for stow-aways like me ^.^I'll probably be sneaking up there some weekends, and I think since we'll be seeing eachother so little, parents will be more understanding to give us time alone. Hell, if I get one of those 190000 jobs I've been trying to get for a year, I'll be able to afford a hotel room when I head up to his dorm and we can stay there. ^_^ If only this city was in need to more neworkinga nd PC technicions, maybe I'd have a real job. ;_; ... You guys want geeky? Once, I really wanted to play Magic, but the boy had some other (slightly more naughty) things in mind. We compromised and invented STRIP MAGIC. I won. I was fully clothed when he had nothing :P If anyone is interested in a picture of us, I'd be glad to post one. I've probably got one of us playing DnD or something :P 2006-02-26 10:18:18
237 1240 Hello and Welcome Katy, I have an idea what it's like with having people walk-in.& Luckily now that my parents and sister know that I'm sexually active, I'm allowed to have privacy in my room.& They rather me have sex in my own bed, rather the couch in the back room.& But I usually don't have sex with my boyfriend while everyone is moving around downstairs.& They have to be asleep for that to happen.& Especially after my dad almost caught me giving my boyfriend a handjob. My hand was down my boyfriend's pants and my dad walks up the stairs and peeks his head around into my doorway and scares the shit out of us.& & He claimed that he saw us making out, but little did he know where my hand actually& was. Oh goodness. I'm a freshman in college, and the dorm is very convenient when it comes to privacy.& My parents know that my boyfriend comes up to visit me.& And he can sleep in my dorm with me.& I'm also not near my home either so it does make it hard to see him.& I'm 2 hours away from home.& It's around $8 for tolls, plus gas money.& I don't expect him to come up here all the time to visit because I don't particularly think it's fair.& I come home somewhat often.& I would like to go home more often to see my family a little and also see him. Like Canis said, "At 18, nobody really has the right to stop you from pursuing sexual relations..." That's very true.& It's your body, and your relationship.& I think if you do have sex, just be careful, always use a condom.& Many people I know always say, "Yes, I'll use a condom, stop reminding me." But then I get a call saying they might be pregnant because they didn't use one.& And I have no pity for them. At your boyfriend's college, do they let the opposite sex stay in their rooms?& My bf's twin said that at his school, during the freshman year, they aren't allowed to have people of the opposite sex stay in their rooms overnight. You'll definitely fit in. Everyone here is very nice. Again, Welcome. Diana 2006-02-26 11:42:23
237 1242 I suffer from a great deal of paranoia, which is what kept me from being even remotely sexually active in my last relationship. It's taken 14 months for me to feel comfortable enough to have sex. At this point, there is no way I'd even think of having unprotected sex. Incase the lectured from one of my good friends (a nurse) and the parents since I was youjng wasn't enough, I also have a few pregnant friends... Seeing them is enough to scare me in to using protection ^_^ We found out today the policies his dorm has for guests, and I'm pretty happy with them. Over the age of 18, any tenent may have up to 2 guests for 3 consecutive days in their room, regardless of gender or age assuming both are over the age of 18. He'll be 18 by then (I'm older, despite the fact that he looks old enough to be my father in some peoples eyes o_O It's the facial hair I think). They also rent guests rooms to anybody, even if they are not affiliated with the college, for $25 a night or $425 a month. I figure since he'll be driving down here once a week, if I have an entire week with out school, he can just take me back with him. I'll stay in his room for 3 nights, the paid guest room for 1 night, and his free for another night, then head home ^_^ I mentioned the idea to my mother (we're very close, though she's still not quite secure with the idea of me sleeping with him...) and she didn't have much to say, so I think I can get away with it. I'm actually pretty excited about the idea, though I still sort of wish he'd chosen a closer college. But Kettering is one of the top tech colleges in the country, so I have to be supportive ^_^ Once I get a job, and have a fairly stable financial life, I will probably start taking birth control. Unfortunatly, I'm not sure what's right for me. I did lots of research, and nothing seems quite right, so it will be a lot of trial and error then. We'll probably still use a condom, the additional birth controlis just added protection. I'm not willing to introduce a child to this world when I'm still a child myself. It's safe to say I'm smarter than that ^_^ 2006-02-26 12:14:23
237 1245 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Nah, not a geek, haha. " Us computer geeks wear the badge with pride. Don't try to strip us of our title :P [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "At 18, nobody really has the right to stop you from pursuing sexual relations " Perhaps not, but you still have to abide by the rules of the owner(s) of the house. That has nothing to do with your age. As for KeddyPie's visits to the dorm, you shouldn't need to get a hotel room, and probably don't even need to stay in a guest room. When I was in college, the guest room was for people you wanted to visit but didn't want to stay in your room. I don't think anyone ever used it my whole time in the dorms. Even if there are rules for such things, if your BF has a cool RA he will let the rules slide. My dorm wasn't strictly uni-sex, but genders were divided up by floors, but in either case that actually gives you more privacy than mixed genders. When you only have guys around, you form a lot of camaraderie and they will mostly respect your BF's privacy when you visit, or at least that was how my dorm experience was. 2006-02-26 17:03:19
237 1249 Almost worthy of a new thread, but I don't want to over do it! So, I found some time alone today with Charles. I missed him a lot yesterday and he missed me, so it's expected that when we see each other we're bound to do naughty things. We were both in great moods, and after about 45 minutes of snuggling tight and smooching, we decided, what the heck. And we did the deed. I was very relaxed, calm, zoned out and happy as can be, but he was rather nervous. He has a big problem with the whole premature ejaculation thing, we're not going to deny that. I tried to re-assure him I wasn't expecting him to perform like an expert, we're both new. I was going to be happy even if we only had 10 seconds. Which is good, because we did only have 10 seconds. And I was happy with that, and he felt a little akward, but was mostly ok. We snuggled for a little bit, and he decided he wanted to give it another try, he was feeling a little less nervous and though it was worth seeing if we could last a bit longer. So, we did it again, and I got... maybe a whole 45 seconds out of him. ^_^ I was very satisfied, and after realizing that I was satisfied, so was he. It wasn't akward at all, we laughed a little and smiled. And, because we're both firm believers that the first time has to have humor involved, or there is a good chance it will be akward, we mostly just kept making silly jokes. It was hard enough not to when I remembered he had been hiding the condoms in an old Magic Deck Box. Talk about geeky! It was defenitly worth it, and we both enjoyed it very much. We just need some practice at this stamina thing. Not going to use numbing condoms (I hear a lot of bad stories about those), so we'll just have to figure out some tricks or something. Right now the plan is to get him off a few times before we do it, hoping it'll give him some more stamina... I got him off just once before we did the deed today, and that wasn't enough. So next time I very well might go down on him 3 or 4 times :P We were going to hit the comic shop after DnD, but Charles decided to put the money aside for condoms. He's a good boy. 2006-02-26 21:53:17
237 1250 yeah, the more you wear him out, the longer it will take him each additional time. also, try to remind him to pace himself. if he feels ready to burst, he should slow down, stop, or even withdraw. then he can go down on you while he calms down, then go back to business. also, if he masturbates even before the two of you start (if he has a decent idea of when it might happen) that will help him even more. as for condoms, he doesn't need to use a numbing one, but if he makes sure to avoid the extra-thin ones that should also help him with endurance. not only that, but it will also reduce the chances of a condom breaking which, I probably don't need to point out, is the last thing you want if you aren't on the pill. (and dont let him use two condoms at once). Of course, the biggest part of it all is simply being over-excited and that will just take time for him to deal with. 2006-02-27 00:34:31
237 1257 Hi, Just a tip from personal experience, masturbating might help him with his stamina. First, with time he'll learn to isolate that point when he's about to come and can actually stop (that's how my bf does it), with masturbation it is easier to learn than sex (no one else to worry about!)... Second, he'll be less excited and won't orgasm too quickly. I think even a man expert at sex, left without sex for long enough, will orgasm too quickly. I read once on a forum a woman saying she found out how her husband suddenly could last much longer. He was masturbationg a couple of hours before :D 2006-02-28 13:48:42
237 1263 I'm happy for you.& They way you look at it is the good way to look at it.& Sometimes my bf gets embarrassed when he pulls a pre-mature ejaculation, but I always reassure him that it's all good.& Usually after he's done and I'm not near done, he'll go down on me.& Which absolutely helps.& I remember when I first had sex in January, my bf actually apologized for cumming so fast.& & I told him, it gets better the more we do it. And it definitely has. I wish you the best. 2006-03-01 15:05:25
238 1256 IS SEX IS A SIN ............i gave u an example of my society....reply what do u think about sex now lets talk about some societies where do i live & CAN SOME ONE IMAGINE,,,in our society sex is considered as sin. & i am of 22 years old young man live in lahore pakistan,and promise i am still virgin................so there ar such societies prevail where such coustoms exists and flourish successfully...believe me its a modern educational society not an akward one & if we can live then why not all......???????????why & in our society there is no concept of girl friend, not at all.u can not even stair a girl,if u want to love some one u will marry her and then sontinue ur sexual relationship...before marriage u havent got permission to see her and know about her...and if one do there are strong laws against man.so ladies and gentle man u ar lucky to born in such societies where u can decide ur self really i am fed up by this society how can i change it,,,,i know alone i cant change it so i am trying my best to leave this society and looking 4 a friend who will support me in other modern country.u know its my& right.i hope one day i met some one who support me in making me coming out of this society so one should have strong believe in his GOD.i dont want to live in this society but how can i change the people personal views its so dufficult.hope ,pray to enlighten or broaden the minds of people i hope u reply and enlighten this topic,,to remove this conspricy in the blog mind of peoples that sex is sin..............in my view it is nature and nature is all 2006-02-28 10:20:55
238 1259 sex cannot be a sin because sex is life. without sex, the human race dies, and all the wealth in the world no longer matters. religion is a tool of control, a primitive holdover from ancient times before government existed and people thought their very daily sustenance depended upon appeasing the gods of the harvest, the sun, and water. it has now evolved into a kind of spiritual miracle cure. they say "everything you do will damn you for eternity, and we are the only ones that can save you". isn't it strange how preachers never mention that their scriptures don't support religion? thanks to religion, belief in god has now become a package deal. I have been reading this book that deals a lot with politics and religion, among other things, and I just got past this really great line. It went something like "eventualy, ritual must replace faith and symbolism must replace morality". 2006-02-28 15:44:35
238 1260 Unfortunately, even though sex isn't openly declared a sin as such in our society, I'm in the U.K, it is still given across as being dirty and sinful to many young people. This can cause a lot of sexual problems to arise. There are disadvantages to all ways. In our society, you get women who sleep around with anyone which is all well for themselves but then blokes expect the rest of us women to be the same. I know of girls who have been called lesbian when they are not just because they don't want to sleep around. I know that many people from other cultures like your own think that all of us British girls are slappers and whores because of it. Thats not true, there are plenty of more reserved women in UK society. Sexually transmitted diseases are running rife because of it too. I can understand not wanting to be married to somebody you have never met before. Recently in the UK, this caused a young woman to throw herself and her two young children in front of a passing train at a station, all three were killed. She wasn't happy being married to her husband who came from India but has not gone back. Her mother felt so guilty about making her marry this man and driving her to suicide, she went and did the same thing at the same place last week so now she has gone too. A whole family lost because of an arranged marriage. If both parties are in agreement with the arranged marriage then it isn't a problem but to force somebody inwillingly into a marriage they don't want to be in is not right in my opinion. There are still a surprising number of people in our society that wait until they are married before they have sex and then there are those who are having sex at 12 or even younger. Every society has it's drawbacks.... I know there are a lot of girls in the vaginismus groups who come from middle-eastern countries which isn't surprising. The messages they have been given about sex have caused them to develop this condition so those messages can't honestly be as beneficial as their culture and society thinks they are. 2006-02-28 15:51:38
238 1266 if u believe in true love after marriage ,,then u should support sex after marriage i think ur wife or hasband is the only one who give u all of his /her self& truely after marriage............so i support sex after marriage ...........bcos it is full of sincerity believe me & but & i am still bachelor& 2006-03-02 16:19:47
238 1268 God gave to the man and woman sexual desire with each other and this desire leads in marriage to healthy sex, in which both take attention another and satisfying another. The lust is selfish, which wants only for himself satisfaction, but doesn't give it to another. Often especially men in their lust's satisfy only their own need and their wife remaining in this selfish sex without satisfaction. The lust so breaks sex and couple's relationship, but healthy sexual desire gives to the both sexual satisfaction. One reason to escapades are selfish lust's of the spouse, which drive another to peer, if on the half of the neighbour fence would be greener grass. Man and woman has to take in theirs marriage attention to another and after that work out sexuality set by God, in which both husband and wife getting sexual satisfaction. 2006-03-02 23:38:48
238 1269 There are drawbacks even to sex after marriage. As it says in the clit.com website, how are you going to know if you are sexually compatible? You don't know this until you have slept together. Everyone has different sex drives and if one partner has a high one and the other a low one, obviously, problems are going to arise where one has to go without and have less than they'd like and the other might feel obliged to take part when they don't want to and then sex becomes a chore. Also, if the two people have completely different likes and dislikes when it comes to sex, then they are never really going to be able to satisfy each other properly. You might as well know these things before committing yourself to each other through marriage. A ceremony won't automatically make you sexually compatible either. You might assume that married couples in your culture where most wait until after marriage before sex, are having a good sex life which is why they are still married etc...etc....and don't complain about it... This is just an assumption though, you'd be surprised at how many of those couples don't really enjoy a good sex life, one or the other will miss out or have to do things they don't want and are not really happy with the whole situation but they cannot tell everyone this, can they? They have to keep quiet and just put up with it because thats what society expects. Because of this, everyone else just assumes everything is fine and dandy for them...in some cases it might be but I bet there are more such couples who aren't satisfied than there are who are satisfied. Everyone is unique, we aren't just programmed like robots to just love and be compatible to somebody just because we are married to them. 2006-03-03 10:43:50
239 1262 Sex is life!! and I am about to go to one of these places for fucking together with lots of others, it would be interesting to hear experienced swingers to give their opinion about "how to get the most out of it" kisses 2006-03-01 01:41:19
239 1454 I never had an experience with swinger's party. I've been trying to find one Internet, googling around and could not find one. (without paying for anything, of course!) I would like to take my wife there to look around and see how we feel about swinger's lifestyle before engaging into one. It might either turn us both on or off and I'm curious about that! I live in Delaware, oh boy slow state!! 2006-04-18 11:14:23
239 1496 I enjoy performing at swingers clubs... I think I'd not endulge, however ... I do like to watch... ;)... and mostly I enjoy enhancing the party with my art. In all you do... be good! MissMoana, the Sensualist 2006-04-25 02:01:02
239 1741 Well, I am quite late on this question, but figured I might as well give my answer... I am a male and have attended two "Swing" clubs, One in St Louis and One in Nashville.& Two more different establishments could not be imagined.& The one in St. Louis was dirty, dreary, drab and just a flat out dissapointment.& & In order to get into one of the "Couples" rooms, you had to walk the gauntlet of single males who were not only uncouth, most were unclean.... The Nashville club was totally the opposite, it was bright (except where less light was called for), and exciting.... there was a "Great" room with a dance floor and two "Dance Poles", the "Couples" rooms and "Free For All" rooms were nice and clean.& For the price of admission, setups were free and you were free to go wherever you wished... NOW... in my opinion, they BOTH were a great dissapointment in one major aspect..& The sex that was going on seemed to be not only "Not Exciting" but seemed to be very "Un Sexy". & One room which was for anything goes.. had a woman bent over a chair back, with a man in her from behind, and about 10 guys, masturbating and waiting their turn.. She was making no sounds, her face was placid and calm and the guy in her was akin to a machine.. In and out, in and out... turn of the swich, I'm done. The Dance floor in Nashville was GREAT for the Visual aspect.. Most of the ladies were either nude or very short skirts and no panties.. OF course the guys were fully dressed (why is that????) and the pole dancers were sexy... Otherwise I will give these types of places a wide berth in the future..... Mike 2006-06-21 14:27:21
239 1743 Thanks for that Mike. Does not sound very appealing at all. Princess 2006-06-21 15:02:35
245 1286 Hi Everyone, I'm new to the forum, going to be very honest about this and& I'm looking for some advice. I'm in my late twenties and so far haven't experienced masturbating myself.& I do feel something happening down below but its only the last few days that I've thought about touching myself. I& tried to masturbate& yesterday while reading a fan fiction but nothing happened.& Can anyone give me any advice about what I should do?? Unfortunately at the moment I can't do anything as I'm on my periods.& I know that I could do if I wanted to do so but since it's going to be my first time doing this. Thanks in advance Lesley & & 2006-03-07 17:01:29
245 1287 I remember my first time I did I was on my bed.& Had my door locked, and I was all to myself.& Relaxed. And went at it. Tried different touches and and found what I liked best and went from there. Just remember to relax. 2006-03-07 20:18:43
245 1288 Thats what I did too, lol. I just did what I thought was kinky and might feel good and it worked. If you don't want to do it whilst on your period, wait until you've done then resume your practise. If you've developed a desire to start touching, just go for it and do whatever turns you on and feels good. Thats how you learn. We are all different when it comes to what feels best and such so each woman has to find out what her buttons are herself. Fantasizing whilst masturbating is very effective too. Do you have any fantasies you already indulge in? If so, include them in your masturbation. The brain is the controller of everything, lol. Just thinking about something kinky and visualising kinky images in my head& can really get me going even more than the physical stimulation does. Hand in hand, they are explosive. & 2006-03-07 20:44:33
245 1289 arousal and sexuality is all in the mind, so I will also stress that the most important thing to do is relax. the other important thing is to keep an open mind. there is no "right" way to please yourself, so just explore anything that comes to mind. if it doesn't feel good (or if it feels good, but you think it could feel better) then try something else. if a few things feel good, try doing them at the same time. lastly, remember to explore your entire body. everyone responds differently to different sensations. touch yourself everywhere, try different speeds or amounts of pressure, squeeze, rub, pat, or any kind of motion you can think of. you don't even have to use your hands. you can rub your body against some object, try different positions to find soemthing comfortable. if music or movie relaxes you (or turns you on) then you can try that too. 2006-03-08 00:27:33
245 1290 Hello and Welcome you may find reading the following pages useful - www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_masturb.htm If you have any more questions afterwards, feel free to post them here. Good luck - relax and enjoy! Princess 2006-03-08 07:24:03
245 1291 Hey everyone, Thanks very much for your advice.& Hope it helps me when I finally able to do this. & 2006-03-08 07:29:06
247 1293 & A few weeks ago my husband and I were at it pretty good, when he slipped out and fully penetrated my ass. There was a ton of blood and lasted for about a day. My question is, has anyone else had this experience and do you have any advise? Should I be checked out by a Doctor? Thanks 2006-03-10 15:08:22
247 1294 Hello it is probably a good idea to get this checked out by a doctor as it lasted a day. If it were just a few spots then whilst that is still worying, it probably is not as worrying as the amount you describe and the fact that it lasted a day. There a delicate membraines in the anus which could easily tear. So my advice would be to get this checked out properly to ensure that there is no serious damage to your insides. Princess 2006-03-10 20:43:02
248 1299 Hi, During the intercourse will penis rub the clitoris. If it doesn't, then is it something that needs to be consulted with a doctor... please advise. KS 2006-03-12 11:15:37
248 1300 they can rub together depending on the position you are in, but there is nothing wrong if they don't rub together. you certainly don't need to see a doctor if they don't touch. 2006-03-12 17:32:02
248 1301 Like Dfs said, they can depending on position. I know my clit rubs up on my bf when I'm doing cowgirl. 2006-03-12 23:26:00
248 1320 usually when you are almost ready to orgasm, your clitoris will retract and kind of hide...but usually when the penis is going in and out of the vagina, it tugs on the labia minora which stimulates the clitoris....so the penis indirectly stimulates the clitoris by way of the labia minora.... 2006-03-17 21:17:30
248 1322 in theory... 2006-03-18 04:15:51
248 1559 I have wonderd this as well. & when we have sex mine don't touch, its harder for me to get off. Sex just isn't real great till I get to that point. 2006-05-03 08:40:33
248 1564 Alisha have you tried on top? is the best way to get stimulated where you need it..love Luisa 2006-05-03 15:56:47
248 6571 No, and that's why vaginal intercourse is not the royal road to certain pleasure. My SO masturbates while I pump away. Only that way does she come every time. 2009-04-06 02:04:58
249 1302 I've been masturbating with a vibrator for about a year. I have gotten orgasms, but I never bothered looking for my clit on purpose. Recently I got out a mirror and found it pretty easily, but it feels odd to be touched. It doesnj't feel good. It feels like it shoudln't be touched, like when you touch the skin under a blister that's all raw. Is this normal for the first time you try it? I mean it works with a vibrator, but in that case I think its being protected by the hood, not stimulated directly. So, any comments? Has anyone else experienced that? 2006-03-14 00:16:37
249 1304 Yeah, thats about usual. Normally the clit is covered by the hood and stimulation is indirect through that& because the glans is way too sensitive to be touched directly. Mine doesn't like being touched normally either but feels great when stimulated in masturbation. Also, in masturbation, having lots of natural lube around will reduce friction that a clit might not like but the stimulation is still there. You don't sound like you have anything wrong so you've no need to worry. Many women can't be stimulated directly on their clit even in masturbation but we all vary, thats normal. 2006-03-14 09:37:38
249 1305 Like Canis Lupess said. Not all women can have their clit directly stimulated. It's completely normal. All women are different in the ways things feel good. I for example, can have my clit directly stimulated. It feels good to me. 2006-03-14 11:20:19
249 1307 Well, I'm doing fine on my own. My only worry is that at some point Ill hook up with a guy, and he'll probably expect/want to stimulate it directly. What do I do about that? Besides, while I am doing fine with masturbation, I do need a vibrator. I was trying to figure out how to get it to work without one. 2006-03-14 12:13:36
249 1308 Hello Julie Not all women can orgasm without a vibrator. The vibrations are a lot more powerful than other forms of masturbation and go much deeper. Perhaps your clitoris is becoming a little sensitive. Try leaving off masturbating with the vibrator for at least a week. During that time mentally stimulate yourself sexually but do not masturbate. Then after a week or two if you can last that long, have a warm bath, then try gently touching yourself without the vibrator. Stimulate everywhere not just around the clitoris. Try your breasts as well. Use some lubricant to stimulate your vulva. You may surprise yourself. The most important thing is not to worry about it if you dont achieve an orgasm. Just try gently caressing yourself and fantasing at the same time. Let your mind wander off. Just relax and enjoy what you are doing and imagining. It will happen you just need to give it time and go slowly and gently. Princess 2006-03-14 15:40:44
249 1315 If a guy& wants to stimulate it directly but you can't take it for obvious reasons, tell him he can't plain and simple. If he wanted you to engage in anal sex and you didn't want to, would you still feel you had to to please him? What if he wanted you to have your clit pierced? Would you do that? When having partner sex, you should only do what YOU want to do and if a guy doesn't respect your wishes and reasonings then he isn't for you. If you don't want your clit stimulating directly, ask him not to because it hurts rather than feels good. Any decent bloke would respect that especially as there are lots of women who can't be stimulated directly. 2006-03-15 12:06:19
249 1316 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "If a guy wants to stimulate it directly but you can't take it for obvious reasons, tell him he can't plain and simple. If he wanted you to engage in anal sex and you didn't want to, would you still feel you had to to please him? What if he wanted you to have your clit pierced? Would you do that? When having partner sex, you should only do what YOU want to do and if a guy doesn't respect your wishes and reasonings then he isn't for you. If you don't want your clit stimulating directly, ask him not to because it hurts rather than feels good. Any decent bloke would respect that especially as there are lots of women who can't be stimulated directly. " I couldn't have said it any better 2006-03-16 17:38:54
249 1321 Hi Julie, & & when he realizes how excited you get with indirect stimulation, he will love to touch around the hood and labia minora, etc...If a vibrator annoys you, you can just rub your panties around your fron slit area, or rub against a pillow...indirect stimulation is usually awesome 2006-03-17 21:23:54
251 1330 Recently I started being intimate with a man, after 4 years of abstinence. I take good care of myself, and he has never complained about my female scent (regarding it being too strong or offensive). The problem is that my "scent" stays on him all day, even though he'll shower and wash his hands several times. While this is a turn on for him, it makes him feel very self conscious. What can we do to help this issue? :? 2006-03-21 20:47:19
251 1336 Ever try using a lemon? I used to be self-conscious about myself because sometimes my fingers smelled of my scent from masturbating, even after I had cleaned my hands with soap or showered. Lemon usually rids of any scent. 2006-03-23 12:48:43
251 1337 Great idea! Thank you! :D 2006-03-23 13:53:49
251 1338 No problem! Glad to help! :) 2006-03-24 07:57:47
251 1340 You could always try keeping a toothbrush spare and use toothpaste to clean the fingers and hands afterwards. Works a treat and gets rid of any dead skin cells as well giving a healthy youthful look to your hands :) Princess 2006-03-24 11:18:13
251 1341 Never noticed it on myself even after masturbating. I would smell it straight after or during& but I& never notice it linger afterwards after washing and stuff... Hmmm? :?& Maybe I'm just strange...or have a bad sense of smell. Strange is more likely. Thats why I couldn't advise any ideas, lol. Still, even if other people smelt your scent on him, he could always learn to remember that it's only because he previously enjoyed a steamy sesh with you, something some people might only be able to envy rather than laugh at.....:D 2006-03-24 18:41:13
254 1343 Hi! i'm a guy and have this question i like to ask women. what does a penis in the vagina feel like? is the sensation like a full stomach? just wondering. 2006-03-26 01:13:32
254 1349 hmm... This is a tough one. :P Feels sensational. :) It's pretty hard to describe exactly how it feels, because to all women, it feels different. 2006-03-27 20:49:27
254 1350 hey sorry to threadsteal but its better than making a whole new thread... i have a female friend who says that when she fingers herself she doesnt really feel a hell of a lot. shes worried that during sex she wont feel anything and it won't be enjoyable for her. because she can't feel anything much when she fingers herself does this mean she won't feel much when she has sex? 2006-03-28 08:09:21
254 1351 The vagina isn't endowed with loads of nerve endings like the penis or clitoris so it is quite normal for many women to not really feel that much. If the vagina was over sensitive, imagine what it might be like giving birth. I read up that more women don't really feel anything or not enough to shout about than those who think it feels great. Thats why most women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm because IC alone just won't do it. I used to insert two fingers but have now moved onto dilators, I'm on #3 out of a set of 4 as treatment for vaginismus and, even though the vag causes pain, even once I'm used to a certain size and it no longer hurts, I don't get any great feeling from it. It's almost kind of numb inside beyond the PC muscles. 2006-03-28 09:17:08
254 1353 A penis is much wider than fingers and the vaginal canal whilst not being 'as' sensitive as the clitoris does give different sensations deep inside when stimulated by a penis during penetration. Tell your friend not to worry about the fact that her own fingers dont give her much of a sensation as the penis is completely different and she WILL feel it. Princess 2006-03-28 14:18:08
254 1354 Some of the women in the vag groups who have managed to progress to being able to have IC have posted to say they didn't really feel anything great and were asking if it would ever start to actually feel good even though they were no longer feeling pain. I remember one woman had been having IC for a few months and it still wasn't feeling good for her. She said she didn't feel that much at all. I don't remember seeing a post where they later said whether it did or didn't though. I also spoke to a non vag woman who was complaining that sex was overrated (Well, IC) because she didn't really feel any great sensation from being penetrated either. Not all had this mind, some could feel it and said it felt good. Are some of us just destined to not really feel that much? #3 dilator is pretty big and I don't feel anything good from it at all but we shall see with #4. I can't see that being any different and it's the biggest.:? 2006-03-28 19:25:54
254 1356 thanks! that was very informative. i have a very limited sexual experience (think THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN) watch lots of porn thru, guess it's not like that in real life. 2006-03-28 19:54:24
254 1357 Hi sorry to dissapoint you but porno is what men think sex is....unfortanetaly some women to make a fast dollar play along and help to keep the fantasy rolling...Luisa 2006-03-28 20:01:22
254 1358 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "A penis is much wider than fingers and the vaginal canal whilst not being 'as' sensitive as the clitoris does give different sensations deep inside when stimulated by a penis during penetration. Tell your friend not to worry about the fact that her own fingers dont give her much of a sensation as the penis is completely different and she WILL feel it. Princess" & ok cool, i'll tell her that. 2006-03-28 20:46:25
254 1361 Hi, As indicated in the Q&A section of the website some women don't feel a lot of pleasure, if any, during intercourse. It varies from woman to woman. Women use tampons because they can't feel anything, so if you can't feel a tampon then that kind of limits the types of stimulation a penis can provide. If I recall correctly the inner vagina is more sensitive to pressure than friction. I agree that masturbation may not be an indication of what intercourse is like. Having something in the vagina may enhance a woman's orgasm even if it does not provide enough stimulation to cause one. I recently added Q&A in which the woman is orgasmic when her partner provides G-Spot stimulation but she cannot provide this type of stimulation herself. I would be carefully of telling teens that intercourse will feel wonderful, because the risks may not outweigh the true rewards. I get a lot of e-mail from young women that are terrified they may be pregnant. Brad 2006-03-29 12:11:37
254 1362 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "If I recall correctly the inner vagina is more sensitive to pressure than friction." Hi Brad yes for me anyway that is true. It is the pressure sensations that are pleasurable more so than the friction. But pressure can be applied to the outer lips as well and that is sometimes better than deep inside. I was shocked the first time I actually felt my gspot being played with and stimulated. I got slightly scared as I had not experienced anything like that before. The time spent stimulating my gspot had to be built up over time and sometimes even now I get the strong urge to pee which turns me off instantly. Well cools everything down at least. The main difference between orgasms reached through masturbation and ones with my partner are the fact that we are sharing something together. The added emotional feelings and powerful feelings of sharing are what make the orgasms outweigh those had through masturbating. Gspot stimulation or not the orgasm is much better for me with my Partner than alone. I lost my virginity at a very early age and it was only until I had reached the age of 32 years old that I discovered how good sex could feel. The emotions that go with it and all the feelings you are left with afterwards as well. All that was years after I started actually having intercourse with a boy years beforehand. So for teenagers I would say that if you can hold off and not have sex, then you should as long as possible. You have years ahead of you. But if you are going to do it then take all the necessary precautions and be as open and honest with your Partner as you can. Honesty is definitely the best way to go especially where feelings and emotions are concerned. And remember, this will be a journey that hopefully you never stop learning along the way. Brad is right about some women not being able to feel much inside during penetration alone. Princess 2006-03-29 15:08:54
254 1363 Hi, I also read somewhere that not all nerves are born equal, some nerves are more sensitive to pressure. The ones in the vagina fall into that group, and as far as I am concerned I have to agree. I am starting to think one can LEARN to feel pleasure in the vagina. When I first started having sex, the overall sensation was pleasant but far from mind-blowing. But eversince I started stimulating my clit while having intercourse to reach orgasm, with time I realized that I am feeling more and more in my vagina when having IC alone. It also depends on how excited a woman is when a penis (or a substitute) enters her. If not in the mood, it can be down right painful; however, when she's REALLY ready (not just wet, but completely excited), the moment of penetration (and afterwards) can be heavenly :) In the end though, the clitoris rules! :dude: 2006-03-29 15:39:43
254 1364 Yeah, I agree that the clitoris rules, haha. I also understand about the pressure rather than friction. I do feel pressure as described but it doesn't feel pleasurable in any way. I'm not sure if it will begin to feel pleasurable at any point. 2006-03-29 16:08:43
254 1365 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Yeah, I agree that the clitoris rules, haha. I also understand about the pressure rather than friction. I do feel pressure as described but it doesn't feel pleasurable in any way. I'm not sure if it will begin to feel pleasurable at any point. " Hi, iti is quite possible that you will at some point feel different sensations from within the vagina from pressure that are more pleasureable than at the moment. When I started to feel very pleasureable sensations with pressure it was to start with, right where the opening is joined to the perinium. Then after a while ( some months ) the pressure sensation started to build up through the walls eventually reaching deep inside. The pulsing was dreadfully painful at first and I did not like it opting for only clitoral stimulation for a while instead. But one day, I got to the beginning of the sensations again and they were not so shocking and I enjoyed it. But this was built up over time slowly and took many months to get used to. It was scary for me at first. I never experienced anything like these physical feelings in my 20's or younger. These were new and in a kind of way exciting to experience as well. Like getting to know myself all over again. I found I felt much more feminine afterwards. Dont know if that makes sense because I have always been a feminine woman, it is just that I felt more whole somehow and do now. Like there was something great that was missing before but I did not know it. Princess 2006-03-29 20:07:08
254 1366 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: " I would be carefully of telling teens that intercourse will feel wonderful, because the risks may not outweigh the true rewards. I get a lot of e-mail from young women that are terrified they may be pregnant. Brad" i'm not gonna tell her that it's wonderful because i understand thats it a lot different to what a woman would feel when they masterbate. Plus she's a devout christian and won't be having sex anytime soon, haha. But shes just worried that for her it will be dull and boring. Don't you think it's strange how T.V and movies and things like that always portray sex to be 'the ultimate sexual experiance' when really it isn't? No wonder so many women think that something is wrong with them when they don't feel much... (this is what one of my female friends thought until i showed her [url=www.the-clitoris.com] www.the-clitoris.com) 2006-03-29 21:17:42
254 1369 Yes, the way that society generally portrays sex is quite damaging to us really. Some of us suffer more like me developing vaginismus which has probably come about for a variety of combined reasons in my case. Others can end up too promiscuous which can result in the spread of STI's or unwanted pregnancies. After all, many of these people portrayed in movies don't use protection, they just do it off the spur of the moment and the woman never seems to end up pregnant from it...unless, of course, the whole storyline centres around her getting pregnant from that sexual experience. In most cases, it does not. In fact, sexual scenes in most movies have no part in the storyline at all, it is just an added extra, they seem to think we are all sex obsessed and want to watch sex scenes all the time and just stick them in anywhere they can. I think most people in our type of society are affected negatively to some small extent at least by the way sex is thrown at us 24/7. We find ourselves worrying about it too much, thinking about it too much, feeling like we should be doing it to be normal...oh and we have to get it "right", otherwise we aren't normal. It's bound to have it's affects. & 2006-03-30 10:48:28
259 1368 Hi all, Would like to discuss or hear feedback about using poes,ropes,trees,etc to stimulate orgasms! I have read several such stories in the female masturbation area and would like to hear from the storytellers (or anyone else)! It has long been my favorite method and needs some open discussion!& Would enjoy sharing stories,observations or other experiences ! 2006-03-29 23:45:07
259 1370 Hi shynny...well my favorite mean to orgasm was putting my panties inside the vulva stimulating my clitoris, the fricition bring me to orgasm without touching...Luisa 2006-03-30 14:28:48
260 1371 Frankly, I've always been wondering about it. It's an accepted assumption that whenever guys masturbate, they'll be thinking about a desirable naked girl& and/or performing sexual or sexually-related acts with her, with emphasis on the girl and her body. But what about girls? I somehow doubt that we masturbate thinking about naked guys... I cannot answer that despite being a girl myself, as I am.. how do I put it..& rather inclined towards the BDSM side of things. Meaning, I basically fantasize about myself receiving pain or being tied up, with little& thought for who the other party is or how he looks like, as long as it's male. So what do normal girls fantasize about? :? 2006-03-31 22:53:45
260 1373 There have been times when I have fantasised about women even though I am not gay. Apperantly this is quite a common thing for hetrosexual women to fantasise about. There are other times when the fantasy is a loving sensual one involving my Partner. It all depends what my frame of mind was before I started masturbating really. For the most part my Partner and I share masturbation together so there is no fantasy needed and if one is needed we verbally express it with each other. I am interested in what guys really do think about while they masturbate because I dont buy into the theory that all guys think about a sex godess with long legs and huge breasts. Or am I wrong? Princess 2006-04-01 07:44:48
260 1375 Yeah, it would be interesting to know what guys actually do think about. I have never fantasized about other women...ever. I know lots of straight women do but I never have done and doubt I ever will. I doesn't do anything for me at all. I'm more likely to make up some loving sensitive bloke who just happens to be gorgeous at the same time, haha, well, in my eyes anyway. I don't have a partner so can't fantasize about them. I have sometimes fantasized about some men that I know though. I have imagined the odd tied up thing in the past but I haven't had one of those recently and they were never as common. Another one I do have is imagining that I help look after a bloke that has been found living with no human contact out in the middle of nowhere and, after being with us for a while, he starts wanting to get to know about women and their sexuality and explore female bodies and such...LOL, I'm smirking whilst typing this...and I agree to let him explore mine but without the chance of actually becoming involved in a relationship with him, it's no string attached... I've never really shared fantasies before but thought I might as well make myself post and share a few bits and bobs. They say to do something that scares you or makes you uncomfortable everyday don't& they? 2006-04-01 09:30:15
260 1379 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: " I am interested in what guys really do think about while they masturbate because I dont buy into the theory that all guys think about a sex godess with long legs and huge breasts. Or am I wrong? Princess" well, yes and no. we all (at least some of the time) fantasize about the sex goddess, but we don't all agree what a sex goddess looks like. some guys are into breasts, some are into asses, others are into legs, and so on. personally, the most important aspect of my "sex goddess" is the face. I am far more forgiving of flaws below the neck than I am for flaws above it, but assuming the face is good, I tend to go for a more athletic build with a flat stomach and a smaller chest (b or c cup), and since I am the nurturing/protecting type I am not generally drawn to taller women. as with all things, there are exceptions, but I would tend to go more for the keira knightley type (though she's TOO skinny) than the pamela anderson type. but aside from that, I also fantasize about specific encounters I've had in the past that were very exciting. also, when I do fantasize about the sex goddess, it's not often in a scenario like you'd see in a porno like you might suspect. For a long time I've always found the sight and the act of a woman getting off to be the most exciting thing I can imagine, so the fantasies are either of a hot woman masturbating, or of me making the hot woman orgasm. and even then that's a generalization. I don't tend to remember my dreams since I undersleep most of the time, but on the rare occasions that I do remember a dream, and on the even rarer occasion that it's a sexual one, it tends to be very detailed and will often become a fantasy that I remember for a long time with as much focus on the surroundings I had in the dream as the acts I saw or did in the dream. 2006-04-01 16:47:39
260 1380 Maybe I'm uninspired, but mostly I fantasize about my partner or a man I'm in love with, about things we did together or things I want him to do. & Doolittle 2006-04-04 11:27:26
260 1414 I AM A TV AND I LIKE TO FATASIZE THAT I AM A WOMAN THAT IS HAVING A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP 2006-04-13 07:41:24
260 1415 [user=518]DELL[/user] wrote: "I AM A TV AND I LIKE TO FATASIZE THAT I AM A WOMAN THAT IS HAVING A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP" I didn't know TVs could talk... :? 2006-04-13 08:58:28
260 1416 I don't necessary fantasize when I'm with my boyfriend. I usually focus on the pleasure I'm receiving. When I'm by myself, I fantasize about women. 2006-04-13 08:59:21
260 1419 & dear Dell if you're not hurting anybody else& with your fantasy just go ahead and enjoy it ..love Luisa 2006-04-13 14:22:43
260 1433 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "[user=518]DELL[/user] wrote: "I AM A TV AND I LIKE TO FATASIZE THAT I AM A WOMAN THAT IS HAVING A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP" I didn't know TVs could talk... :?" TV = transvestite. Or at least that's what it sounds like. 2006-04-14 15:51:42
260 1444 [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "[user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "[user=518]DELL[/user] wrote: "I AM A TV AND I LIKE TO FATASIZE THAT I AM A WOMAN THAT IS HAVING A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP" I didn't know TVs could talk... :?" TV = transvestite. Or at least that's what it sounds like." oh.. I understand it so much better now. I was so confused.:? 2006-04-17 11:41:55
260 1467 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Yeah, it would be interesting to know what guys actually do think about. Another one I do have is imagining that I help look after a bloke that has been found living with no human contact out in the middle of nowhere and, after being with us for a while, he starts wanting to get to know about women and their sexuality and explore female bodies and such...LOL, I'm smirking whilst typing this...and I agree to let him explore mine but without the chance of actually becoming involved in a relationship with him, it's no string attached... " You might have felt silly writing that, but you needn't have. I'm a 32-year-old man and I'm so painfully shy that I've never had sex, had a girlfriend or even been on a date in my entire lifetime. I have almost the exact same fantasy as you, but in reverse. I always wonder what it would be like if such-and-such a girl (whom I know from work, or whom I saw in such-and-such a place, or whatever) - if only she knew what my life was like and how alone I was and that she would have the mercy and compassion to share herself with me. That she would allow me to discover and explore her body as I have so desperately longed to do my entire life. I even cry sometimes when I have that fantasy. I realize that's probably not quite exactly what you had in mind, but it is so similar in most respects that it gave me a sense of hope that women might actually think things like that. 2006-04-19 22:01:27
260 1474 [user=533]mumbles[/user] wrote: " You might have felt silly writing that, but you needn't have. I'm a 32-year-old man and I'm so painfully shy that I've never had sex, had a girlfriend or even been on a date in my entire lifetime. I have almost the exact same fantasy as you, but in reverse. I always wonder what it would be like if such-and-such a girl (whom I know from work, or whom I saw in such-and-such a place, or whatever) - if only she knew what my life was like and how alone I was and that she would have the mercy and compassion to share herself with me. That she would allow me to discover and explore her body as I have so desperately longed to do my entire life. I even cry sometimes when I have that fantasy. I realize that's probably not quite exactly what you had in mind, but it is so similar in most respects that it gave me a sense of hope that women might actually think things like that. " Your response just made my heart sink. :( I really do hope you find someone to share things with. 2006-04-20 18:38:39
260 1481 & & [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: """I am interested in what guys really do think about while they masturbate because I dont buy into the theory that all guys think about a sex godess with long legs and huge breasts. Or am I wrong? Princess" & I know my fantasies have changed over the years. Personally, I've ALWAYS thought about girls/women I know/have known. In my youth it was just& about 'getting my end away' with them. I'd think about a girl I knew (and yes, she would usually& be the 'goddess' type)& doing things to me.. Now in my thirties, there's far more emotion involved in& my fantasies. These days, I find myself thinking about someone I'm really in love with. & I get off thinking about us lying together and masturbating each other while kissing passionately. I think about performing cunnilingus on her -& making& my partner& happy& is so much more important to me than it used to be. & Just thinking about seeing her enjoying& herself always works for me. 2006-04-22 23:00:03
260 1492 I do it well while listening to my own CD... lol... I guess that means I self-endulge?& I find I obtain maximum pleasure while being watched.& I enjoy that immensely.& If no one is watching, it's not worth my time or energy... in fact, I lack stimulation completely.& That's just me however... In all you do, be good... MissMoana, the Sensualist 2006-04-25 01:37:22
260 1504 it is cool to use mirrors when masturbating....when humping a pillow, etc. it's incredible watching how excited you get by seeing yourself in a mirror..do others people do this? Missi 2006-04-27 21:38:42
260 1510 I use a hand held mirror during mine, haha.:P When I want a larger view though, I don't have a large mirror I can& move to face me whilst on the bed& so I swivel my computer monitor around to face me, it has a filter on the front which relfects very well...and I can watch everything in there....:D I am like you in that respect. Mirrors are almost a must really for me. 2006-04-28 10:12:20
260 1514 so you get to see it all unfolding LOL....do you notice the clitoris and hood area retracting, and the labia minora changing color and the area getting wetter? I just believe it is fascinating.... Missi 2006-04-28 19:38:15
260 1515 Remember Fried Green Tomatoes, and ladies let's straddle our mirrors? Line always made me laugh! 2006-04-28 19:39:27
261 1372 My gf and I have been 6 months together and have had incredible masturbation experiences (better than penetration experiences with my previous gf!!). The problem is I can`t penetrate her: her vagina seems to be to small, only the top part of my& manages to get in& and she feels an awkward preassure when& I insist. She& has never been prenetrated but she`s not afraid, infact,& we both can't wait to do& it to see if it can be even better than our mutual masturbations. What can I do? 2006-04-01 06:25:09
261 1374 Hi, take a few steps backwards. A vagina has to be ready to be penetrated in the first place. You dont mention how old your girlfriend is but all women especially before the first experience, need to prepare the vagina properly to prevent tears or scaring and pain. Ask your girlfriend to massage some sweet almond oil into her vulva area twice a day making sure to pay particular attention to the opening of the vagina. Perhaps you could share this experience during your mututal masturbation sessions? On the day you both feel ready for penetration, after several softening up sessions with the oil, make sure you arouse your girlfriend with lots of oral sex and use a lubricant on your fingers to play with her for a while before trying to penetrate her again. There are several articles on www.the-clitoris.com which explore loosing your vaginity and how to prepare for this memorable experience. Read the pages and share them with your girlfriend. While she may say she is ready, this type of tightness could be a subconscious answer to the question: is she reaally ready for this? She may be scared or unsure. It is an experience which she will always remember and so you both need to take steps to make the whole day as warm loving and pleasureable as possible. Hope this helps Princess 2006-04-01 07:52:17
261 1376 I agree with everything said above. I know all about this because I suffer from vaginismus where the muscles around the opening of the vagina clamp shut whenever penetration is attempted causing severe pain. Because of this, I have never been able to have IC and it's treatment involves dilation which is the process of learning to insert objects such as vaginal trainers starting from something small and gradually working up until you can insert something penis sized. Vaginismus has a psychological cause. It's the brain telling the muscles to clamp shut because the woman has an underlying fear of pain, is ashamed of sex and been brought up to see it as dirty or sinful due to being brought up that way, feeling of inadequacy and scared things won't go right and she'll feel a complete idiot, past sexual abuse or rape, a stressful& medical encounter as a child that they may not even be able to remember consciously& and a whole load more.... Not that your GF definitely has Vaginismus. If she did, she'd probably feel pain when you tried to penetrate her rather than just a feeling of pressure. When I tried with my ex, it was like there wasn't even a hole there and the more he pushed, the more it hurt until I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't have a smear test either. I tried and failed...miserably. The size of either the penis or vagina is not a cause here. Inexperience is probably more to do with it and vaginas need training as Princess said. If they never had anything in them before or only tampons which are only small compared to a penis, then they'll need gradual stretching. This also helps to stretch and& wear away the hymen thats left which means she is then less likely to rupture that and bleed when she first has successful IC. Try and get her to try in serting a finger when she showers. Thats how I started off and it is very beneficial getting to know what it feels like inside your own vagina. If a finger is ok, she can move onto 2. If not in the shower, use plenty of lube. If she uses something else to insert, advise her to warm it slightly in a glass of warm water because inserting cold objects is not very nice...:D As Princess said, you could include these things in your shared maturbation sessions. Hope things turn out ok for you both. 2006-04-01 09:42:55
261 1378 [user=503]grouxo[/user] wrote: "My gf and I have been 6 months together and have had incredible masturbation experiences (better than penetration experiences with my previous gf!!). The problem is I can`t penetrate her: her vagina seems to be to small, only the top part of my manages to get in and she feels an awkward preassure when I insist. She has never been prenetrated but she`s not afraid, infact, we both can't wait to do it to see if it can be even better than our mutual masturbations. What can I do?" that might be your problem. 2006-04-01 16:22:22
261 1381 Which position did you try? During my first experiences with IC, I felt the same like your gf, but than we tried doggy style, and it worked (maybe because there is no weight on the woman's body). I still sometimes feel a little pain when I'm not aroused enough, a feeling like "no way in here", but now I know that this subsides quickly. D 2006-04-04 11:37:16
264 1383 hi again! i've watched a lot of porn thru the years and some stuff left me puzzled. like in a number of this movies the woman appeared to be peeing when she had an "orgasm" is this female ejaculation? or do women ejaculate thru thier vaginas? oh yeah, one more thing, does the G spot really exists? i remember running across some articles disputing it's existance. 2006-04-05 20:52:21
264 1384 women do ejaculate from their urethras, and it is chemically distinct from urine. however, since female ejaculation is a very trendy topic in porn, I would take most videos claiming to depict ejaculation with a grain of salt. on video, it could just as easily be urine, or if the fluid is gushing from the vagina like a geyser, it could also be an editing trick. most female orgasms shown on camera are fake and done for show. 2006-04-06 04:38:46
264 1385 [user=493]tomcat[/user] wrote: " does the G spot really exists? i remember running across some articles disputing it's existance." Oh yes ! there is certainly something magical about the G spot :) Princess 2006-04-06 06:14:41
264 1386 uhhhh... question? How do you get the g spot to... say... appear? 2006-04-06 07:51:40
264 1387 the g-spot doesn't "appear", it just is. but as with many other things sexual in nature, not all women respond strongly to g-spot stimulation. it's not a magic "easy button" (like you see in the Staples commercials, if you live in the states). as for the location, I am pretty sure the site has some information on it. 2006-04-06 15:19:34
264 1388 Hi agree with you, female ejaculation do exist and it is real and is said to come from the remaining of the male prostate gland around the urethra(like the clit is a miniature penis) and when it is stimualted seeps fluid thru the urethra. In men the prostate gland is quite sensitive and can be stimulated thru the anus and can make the man to ejaculate The movies and pictures of girls squirting 2 or more feet of "cum" are just imagination the bigest amount of fluid that I know is about 2 o3 tablespoons at the most. Luisa 2006-04-06 19:55:17
264 1394 Ow yes, it excists... My boyfriend let me get an ejaculation and i was scared it was urine, but it didn't smell like it and it was transparent... and really good :) 2006-04-09 17:00:02
264 1396 where exactly is the G-Spot? can a guy with a small penis say 5" reach it? 2006-04-09 21:00:01
264 1402 Inside the vagina up behind the clitoris is where the G spot is located. I have only ever had sex with one person who reached mine. So it is highly unlikely that you will reach it with your penis. But having said that each woman is different and until you locate where your lover's G spot is located ( how deep inside ) you wont know. You may find the following article useful - www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_secret.htm Princess 2006-04-10 05:20:51
264 1406 the problem with the penis and the g spot is not an issue of length. the problem is that most penises are not shaped properly for stimulating the g spot for maximum effect. most of the time you're better off with your finger or a toy regardless of your size. 2006-04-10 05:56:28
266 1391 Hello Everyone. I'm a mid-thirties male and was wondering if there are many women out there that actually prefer dry-humping to penetrative sex? I've had a couple of girlfriends who seemed to like it very much. One in particular was very into it...to my delight I might add. It turned me on a great deal. She liked to get on top of me while we were both still dressed/semi dressed and just rub against me until she came, and I would often come, too, looking up at her enjoying herself so much. I'm not the "biggest" guy down there, that you'd ever meet and I was wondering if this was the reason? I sometimes think that they probably couldn't feel much when we had full sex and prefered to get off by rubbing together? Not that I'm complaining :) Just wondering... Many thanks& in advance for your replies...& 2006-04-09 00:47:24
266 1400 well, it's cool if he takes his glans and rubs it around her clitoral hood area (back and forth and back and forth) which covers her glans...she can get wonderful orgasms like this...if he stays long enough, when she has an orgasm, he can just stick it in deep inside her vagina and thrust and ejaculate..usually he is so excited it doesn't take very long to ejaculate deep inside her vagina...or she can be facing him and giving him a lap dance while his groin is pressed against her mons area and she can wiggle around as if she is riding him, but his penis is pressed agians ther mons and the top near her belly button...usually again if she rides him so good, he will ejaculate by her belly button... Melissa 2006-04-09 23:29:04
268 1397 i'm& very curious about your first time experiences,so here are some questions.how old where you & your partner when you first have sex? did he brought it up? were you emotionally involved with him or was he just a casual friend? when you finally agree to do it was it because you are horny, curious or just want to get it over with? was it painful & what about bleeding? in what position did you do it the first time? was he more experienced & has taken charged? 2006-04-09 21:16:10
268 1403 Hello you may find the following articles useful - www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_virgin1.htm www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_experie.htm Princess 2006-04-10 05:27:28
269 1399 My boyfriend was playing with my private. Then his finger slipped out the vagina and scratched me. I'm not sure where but the left side hurts when i walk& sometimes and it stings on occasion when i use the bathroom. It don't sting when i first start peeing but eventually it does. How long will this last and what can i do to help ease the pain.& :(& 2006-04-09 21:50:26
269 1404 Hello try to keep the area clean and wash with just warm water each time you pee. Also let the air get to it as much as possible. Do not wear tight fitting clothes like jeans until it is healed completely. Do not use disinfectant or anything else on the area. Keep it clean with warm water only. If it feels dry or itchy then put a thin layer of vegetable oil or sweet almond oil on it. You could use olive oil too but only a tiny amount. If the area becomes red or inflamed, go to the chemist and get some nappy rash cream that parents use on baby's bottoms. Like Drapoline or Kamilisan. The latter one being a natural beeswax based product. Nelson's do some great homeopathic creams for skin that you also may like to try. If you like aromatherapy oils then put three drops of lavendar or roman chamomile essential oil in about seven to eight inches of water in the bath and sit in it for about ten minutes three times a day. This will heal the area very quickly. Patchouli essential oil is also very good but only use one and a half drops of that for the amount of water mentioned. It probably is nothing to worry about at this stage but keep an eye on it as if urine can touch the scratch there is every chance it can become infected. Hope this helps. Princess 2006-04-10 05:34:29
269 1407 Thank you I will try that. I let it air dry last night after I got out the bath tub. It feels way better this morning. It didn't sting at all when I used the bathroom. 2006-04-10 10:46:15
269 1448 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: " It probably is nothing to worry about at this stage but keep an eye on it as if urine can touch the scratch there is every chance it can become infected. Hope this helps. Princess" I've always been told that urine is sterile. I have had cuts before on my vagina due to shaving. And it stang a little bit when I peed the first time, after that it felt fine. 2006-04-17 12:08:31
269 1450 ok thank you. 2006-04-17 17:51:36
269 1452 Yes,& I have read up that urine is sterile or should be. Sometimes, you can find E.coli in the urine but this is caused by the urethra being contaminated by bacteria from the rectum, mainly by wiping from back to front after passing a stool. Still, wiping from front to back doesn't feel right, it feels dead strange so I just wipe a certain distance before the tissue reaches the vagina and urethra and wipe a couple of times only in the anus area rather than dragging it right to the front. 2006-04-17 19:05:34
270 1412 [glow=green]I have A biiiiig question, My husband is chinese, and... I would like to know if the Chinese vaghinas feels better than others in the world[/glow]:( A lot men has the fantasy in having sex with [url=kintont.com/index2.php?v4&v0=54&go=asian+girls&url1=http%3A%2F%2Ffemalesexuality.mywowbb.com%2Fnew_topic.php&pin=88449]asian girls, because maybe they are small. well, I am Mexican , and the thruth is that I keep my Vagina in daily exsercise cause I am worry that maybe it got "big",& another thing, is that my husban pennis is "small" and he is the only I have sex, After my& second baby my sexual responses are& FANTASTIC, but I still keep with this question from 7 years ago,& and.. well that is my worry, or better says my doubt, what is your opinion? & 2006-04-12 18:04:28
270 1413 the quality/condition of any given vagina is determined by individual genetics and personal sexual history, not by race. yes, a smaller woman will generally have a smaller vagina, so asians probably have smaller vaginas in a statistical sense (and asian men have statistically smaller penises to match), but smaller is not inherently better. if the vagina is too small or the penis is too large, the mismatch in size becomes uncomfortable or even painful. its more important that the penis and vagina are a good match for each other, and even then the size of genetalia are still not the most important thing in a good sexual relationship. 2006-04-13 05:49:23
270 1417 [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "the quality/condition of any given vagina is determined by individual genetics and personal sexual history, not by race. yes, a smaller woman will generally have a smaller vagina, so asians probably have smaller vaginas in a statistical sense (and asian men have statistically smaller penises to match), but smaller is not inherently better. if the vagina is too small or the penis is too large, the mismatch in size becomes uncomfortable or even painful. its more important that the penis and vagina are a good match for each other, and even then the size of genetalia are still not the most important thing in a good sexual relationship." That's soo true! 2006-04-13 09:01:00
270 1418 Vagina is just that, vagina. They are seriously stereotyped, standardized by men with lustful mind. They set a mindset in a way that it affect their "feeling" towards various races. "Look! It's chinese, woo it felt smooth!" psychology. Yes, thin girls tend to have smaller vaginas, and larger the larger vagina. I've had sex with few women, and I noticed that shape doesn't necessarily determine the "tightness" of vagina either. Some girls who did kegel execrise really gripped on my cock to a point when she sneezed, it squeezed my hard and hungry cock right out and it hurts a little. Kegel execrise is a good way to help vagina to squeeze. If you see guys that said that that race is better than that race, ignore them, they're more of sexual oriented than into personality type. I must admit that I got nice sized cock, and often was flaunted by men that got more than 8" cock and said that they are better in sex than I do, where a lot women disagree, size *DOESN'T* matter, it is how we use them! 2006-04-13 14:06:56
270 1421 Hi, LinuxGold, it is good to know that a man give this opinion cause, as I said before, my husband is chinese I married him when I was 17 and he 40 ( ¡:??) yes, I also surprise now after I have to babies, my principal worry was my vagina, but...as you said I did Kedgel, but as you know...chinese are...smaller, but now, as you say it really works. My husband were married before with a chinese woman, and just that worry reason I was not able to have The Great "O" thinking that she finish very quick, or some another things that he use to tell me about her, But after 4 years I start to think that I was to young to have& experience like "the other" had, cause she had 40 too, any way, it was no good thinking in sex between him and me, because normaly I can heve orgasm givin' a hand by myself from when I was 8, so... Now, on internet I investigate a lot about how a vagina should looks like, and is funny, but In the-clitoris.com I just knew where the hymen really is... and so, I just saw a difference in my vagina after I had my first baby, so I was still virgin( fisically ) even after 2 years of sexual life ( I think my hymen got practice when I masturbate jeje), I FEEL GREAT TO KNOW THAT THE PROBLEM IS NOT REALLY ME, or my vagina, and you know...it is true, my husband really have a mental problem, even I give full service before make sex, he use to get me away, I AM 23 NOW!!! I AM A WOMAN WHO REALLY HAS SEXUAL SENSE! How can I do, I feel frustate, but I don't like think in having sex with another ( I have respect on myself). Well, It was too long...jejeje:D 2006-04-13 16:57:19
270 1422 Yes, you have reason, Is true, well my vagina sqeeze good, well, if you read the answer I give to all you read under "LADYBUG" opinion and& "LinuxGold", so all can have an Idea 2006-04-13 17:00:44
270 1445 To a certain extent size does matter. For me at least. I fooled around with a guy before that had a really big penis, but I knew for sure I didn't want to have sex with him, 1. we weren't in a relationship and weren't intimate, and 2. he was toooooo big. It would have hurt me soo badly. My boyfriends penis is just right. He's thick enough to penetrate inside me. If he were thin, I wouldn't feel it. 2006-04-17 11:55:17
271 1424 I am a woman, My age is 23, and from when I was 8 I start to masturbate using my friendly and warmy hand, but...MY HUSBAND SAYS THAT HIS LAST WIFE HAD ORGASMS WITHOUT TOUCH, na I already get tired that I cannot have a free and pleasured finish with my husband just because he doesn´t accept that the only way I use to finish I feel strong is using my hand, WELL I had only one time a vaginal orgasm with him...but that pressure to think about... when I start to touch he just get serious and no move and like bored! I just see his face and I loose the way at all! PLEASE HELP ME! I LOVE SEX! I LOVE MY HUSBAND, AND MY VAGINA WILL THANKS YOU A LOT!!!! Aria 2006-04-13 17:34:35
271 1427 Occasionally, women can orgasm without touch but it doesn't happen& that often and most women don't experience this. Also, he should take into account that many women do "Fake". Can he actually be 100% certain that she wasn't faking. Just because his ex did doesn't mean he should expect you to. I don't see why it is so important that you do anyway. If you orgasm and enjoy your orgasms, using hand or whatever else, thats all that counts and he should appreciate that. We are all individual and he mustn't expect you to be the same as his ex. You are a different person, a unique human being and woman with your own sexuality. Don't ever try to live up to his ex's otherwise it will ruin everything and he will never respect you for you. It is very inconsiderate of him to keep bringing up his ex's abilities and decide that you now have to be the same as them. He should move on from the Ex's. Thats why she is an "Ex", remember. Obviously, being able to orgasm without touch wasn't enough for him to stay with her....don't think that it is vital for him to want to stay with you. If he mentions the ex again, just respond by telling him, his ex is his ex and you are a totally different person and would appreciate not having to live up to his Ex's and would rather be allowed to be yourself, who you are...and you are entitled to that, he has no right to expect otherwise. Also, the more he pressures you, the more stressed you'll get and orgasm will become ever more elusive. He really risks ruining sex for the pair of you unless he accepts you for you. 2006-04-13 18:27:32
271 1431 I need to admit that I'm man and can orgasm without touch, BUT not at ANY TIME. It only occur three times in my lifetime and it sure do take a lot of emotion and effort for that. I have not, yet so far, found any men that can do that. It is not a common thing for men and I'm sure women won't expect the same for their man as well. My suggestion would be to open the communication with him, maybe take him out for a nice dinner (maybe somewhere like Burger King or something), and have a serious conversation with him. Tell him that you are very sexually active and would like to explore more with him. Tell him that it is rare to find a girl that have self-orgasm capability without touch. Tell him that you would be more apprecative if he accept you the way you are. Maybe have him experiment with you sexually in a hotel all alone, experiment and show him how you like to be touched and show him how much you would appreciate him. It might be a big plus? 2006-04-14 13:46:56
271 1432 Darling, The BIG problem on this, is that I have been teaching him what I like 7 years, telling him that I love he kiss my neck that I would like have anal sex, kissing his pennis, putting ice in my mouth to suck, everything I do, but he is so close thinking, in China on that time the people was to shy to show every sexual feelings they had, I love sex with a lot fire, I love sex feeling the burning, I feel such of Energy that men likes to see in a porn, I love to be erotic, I told him how to touch, how to kiss, and I told him what I don´t like, and even I already told him in which time he is able to do, and, every time I start the game, I just keeps like those prostitutes in the movies, so I think about his age,( again I repeat 46, I married because at my 17 I& was working for foreign companies and this relation was so natural) & but..Every men( I think) would like to have a Beautiful, young sweety, juicy and HOT, girl with them, or at least to show on the street like saying" Look this is my girlfriend and is only mine" just like many guys I so they& do, I feel sad, becauase the truth is that I don't want to "waist" my youth, my"beauty" my young sexual life and the chance to experiment all those sexual things that maybe I still don't know, I love him, I respect him, I love my daughters( well I don't wanna give them a wrong example) BUT I LOVE MYSELF and when I don't feel satisfy sexualy or in the heart I really get angry, or have some feelings not too comfortable, I love watch XXX in the internet cause that reason, I give better pleasure to myself " handy dandy" is my best friend, well and maybe you say: " and what about the other things you can share with him?" well the problem is that he is always on his bussiness that even he cannot invite to a dinner!, And even I invite him he just say NO.:(& I am thinking seriously to find someone who can full my heart first, and have a normal relationship, and real ( not violence )( and also I don't wanna get AIDS:?& ), sex is not all worry, there are also every feeling joined to MAKE LOVE. & aria 2006-04-14 15:27:28
276 1442 another advertisment ...Brad do something please 2006-04-16 10:57:35
276 1443 Hi I have removed all adverts now. I was enjoying the Easter weekend with my family so sorry to have not noticed these yesterday afternoon when they were posted. Princess 2006-04-17 11:10:31
276 1449 THANK YOU!!!!!!& YOU ARE AN ANGEL....Luisa 2006-04-17 15:40:02
276 1451 Yeah, these annoying pests plague everywhere they can get into. 2006-04-17 19:00:51
278 1456 Need help. I just fineshed my period and i have come up with 3 sores again. They are like inbetween my vagina and anal bit. I had a baby about 2 yrs back and this keeps on coming up. Basically when i had my baby i tore in this area and it was left to heal naturally. Now ever since whenever i have some kind of thrush infection i come up with what looks to be a bright red blister exactly where i had this tear. Now this time i have fineshed my period, and the sore has come up but i have got 2 like little spots follwing it in a line. My vagina is red around the inner part i think this is to do with the thrush again though. Slightly tender to touch where the spots are but no where else. I know its not a sti as i get tested for these regualrly at the clinic as i am always coming up with something. Can someone help as it is sore where these spots are. 2006-04-19 10:49:05
278 1465 Hello you may need anti biotics. Please let your doctor or clinic check these spots out. The Balthalopian Glands could have become infected or disturbed during the last two weeks. Thrush treatments like the creams you can buy over the counter are good but a repeated infection means that you should perhaps try a course of anti biotics as well as the cream. So a visit to the doctors is going to be necessary for you. Hope this helps a bit. I know how ridiculously uncomfortable these things are and how they knock out everything else and become all you can think about. Princess 2006-04-19 15:35:00
278 1476 Thank you for that i have booked an apponitment with my doctor i will keep you updated 2006-04-21 05:11:47
278 1491 Sounds like a plugged duct.& Once you have it removed, it may return, but the likely hood is it won't.& I wish you the best... be good. MissMoana, The Sensualist 2006-04-25 01:31:55
282 1482 Hey all, I have a question for all of you. Is it normal to be aroused, and even masterbate, to the sight of a semi-naked woman's body? I've always considered myself straight, and also masterbate to being intimate with men, but there's just something about a "sexy" woman with nice bosums coming out of a bra. I wonder- was this socialized, and then I associate that with arousal and then use it, or does it indicate an orientation? Thanks for your replies! :-D 2006-04-23 14:40:23
282 1483 Hi dear it has been established that we can fantasize about the same sex and it doesn't mean we are& gay or lesbians, and furthermore a great majority of us had sexual contact with the same sex when we were growing. I understand if you try and want to keep doing it it may mean a tendency but I wouldn't worry, I do it myself often chatting with another girl over the net and love sex with men...love Luisa 2006-04-23 14:54:31
282 1484 dabaele, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm a heterosexual woman and have a wonderful boyfriend, but I love to look at lesbian porn. I just find the female body so beautiful. Don't get my wrong, seeing my boyfriend in the buff turns me on. I have also kissed girls before, but I don't know if I would take it any further than that. I'm curious. 2006-04-24 00:11:32
282 1494 Interesting... for me, I love looking at female apple bottoms.& I've had girls at clubs try to kiss me, dance with me, hug on me and all in a more than a "hey girl" way.& Now ... I would not be compelled to try to hit a girl, but if asked to do certain acts of pleasure (if my man allowed it) I would do what fulfilled her fantasy... but if she is not being please, it would not stimulate me what so ever... strange?... lol... In all you do... be good! MissMoana, the sensualist 2006-04-25 01:56:46
283 1485 The other night my boyfriend told me that when he sucks on my nipples really hard that a fluid comes out. I'm not pregnant, so I shouldn't be lactating (sp?). Is this normal? I think it's his imagination because I asked him if it had a taste and he said it didn't. 2006-04-24 00:15:59
283 1486 you can lactate without being pregnant, the nipple just needs enough stimulation (a breast pump works best, obviously, if you are really trying to induce lactation). It's not necessarily a lot, and it may be clear and tasteless, but its still lactation. this is what wet nurses do, by the way. 2006-04-24 05:05:13
283 1487 interesting ..... this has always happened to me but I thought it was because I had have five children even though my youngest is going to be five in June :) [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "you can lactate without being pregnant, the nipple just needs enough stimulation (a breast pump works best, obviously, if you are really trying to induce lactation). It's not necessarily a lot, and it may be clear and tasteless, but its still lactation. this is what wet nurses do, by the way." 2006-04-24 07:35:13
283 1488 I suppose that would make sense as I've seen this in dogs and, even though they aren't humans, they are still mammals that feed their offspring via the same method. I have two border collie bitches, mother and daughter and, when they were younger, the daughter had her first litter and it made the mother very maternal and she wanted to take care of the pups. She would go in and suckle them. Her nipples didn't seem to swell like they would had she been the actual mother but the pups still seemed happy to suckle away. I think a small amount of fluid came out when I squeezed them to check. She tried it with the daughters second litter too& but the daughter was more confident then so didn't want her help, lol. I suppose it is possible for similar things to happen to people. 2006-04-24 11:14:10
283 1489 Hi..good subject...we can lactate at any time the only thing is the stimulation of the nipples and inhale a hormone (prolactin)along with other hormones produced after giving birth and& in 3 to 4 weeks we start producing milk and from taht point on the more the baby sucks the more milk is produced. I knew a Hopsital where they have abandoned babies because they were deformed or had down syndrome and they recruited young women, 18 and up to stimualete lactation and many of them never had a& & pregnancy and breast fed the babies in a regular basis, we had the glands ready to be stimulated They didn't use pumps for stimulation they have a regular bottle attached to a tiny plastic tube and the end on the side of the nipple and got the older babies to suck and they got the milk thru the tube so they got natural stimulation.& read some tiem ago that a man in Philipines produced milk for his baby after the mother died, I don't know how true is it. Luisa 2006-04-24 17:55:04
283 1490 Hello room... I just wanted to add... recently, my man sucked mine and blood came out.& I was told by the doctor that ANY discarge that is not a result of nursing is not normal.& I'm 33 with children and have since had my first mamogram and sonogram.& The mamo is a painful thing... wham bam NO thank you MAM... I have a papoloma.& It will be an out patient surg.& Thank God it's not cancer, but you never know.& I also had cancer of the cervix two years ago.& I& don't guess when it comes to these things and I suggest anyone who has anything out of the NORMAL for THEM seek a doctors advice.& My first doctor told me it was likely nothing... turned out to be something!& This is not to frighten, just use good judgment.& In all you do... be good! MissMoana, the sensualist! 2006-04-25 01:27:55
283 1499 Thank you everyone for your input! :) 2006-04-26 12:20:29
285 1507 How common do you believe it is it not to wear panties under your dress? Melissa 2006-04-27 22:03:36
285 1508 It's not that common, but I wouldn't do it. 2006-04-27 23:05:17
285 1509 It's healthier for the vulva but with things like perverts and wind...can be a bit risky. There was a lawyer just been locked up in the UK for using small cameras to secretly& look up womens skirts and dresses in supermarkets and such here in the U.K. Imagine if one of those women wasn't wearing any knickers. He also possessed child porn...pervert. & I don't wear skirts or dresses. I'm a trousers and jeans person...don't like showing my legs. I go without at night though....when I'm in night clothes which are loose and baggy. 2006-04-28 10:08:12
285 1511 Hi Melissa i used to go without panties a lot when I worked except when I was close to my periods, other times I did enjoy it and for me was healthier no to have syntehtic cloth rubbing my vulva Luisa 2006-04-28 16:24:31
285 1513 Hi I never wear panties under my clothes unless it is close to my time of the month or I am wearing jeans which is not that often. I think a lot of women from time to time would go without but probably would not admit to it. Princess 2006-04-28 19:20:38
285 1517 I have gone commando with pants on... but I don't want to risk it with a skirt. 2006-04-29 17:16:36
285 1518 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "I have gone commando with pants on... but I don't want to risk it with a skirt. " Hi you should try it just once to see how it feels for you :) Princess 2006-04-29 18:49:32
285 1519 Anyone else as old as me remember the scene from one of the Lemon Popsicle films from the early eighties where Benji tied a mirror to the top of his shoe so he could look up girl's skirts? haha, oh that takes me back. ...to watching the film, that is, not tying mirrors to me shoes. 2006-04-29 20:50:31
285 1553 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "[user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "I have gone commando with pants on... but I don't want to risk it with a skirt. " Hi you should try it just once to see how it feels for you :) Princess" I probably should. I'll wear a skirt for my boyfriend and I'll go commando. hahaha... it'll leave him in utter shock and ah that would be great. ;) 2006-05-02 19:45:22
285 1555 Ladybug, it's best to bend over and give him a rear look without panties on...and you can pretend you were embarassed and do it again, and he'll get the idea. LOL Melissa 2006-05-02 23:28:02
285 1557 tell us how it goes! hehehehe 2006-05-03 00:14:12
285 1561 I've done it once but only because I didn't have any to wear at the time.& Fortunately it wasn't the type of dress to be affected by wind. 2006-05-03 10:04:28
285 1565 hehehe, will do! :) Maybe I'll try it tomorrow? 2006-05-03 22:45:50
285 1568 Hi Ladybug, going pantiless is wonderful, I agree the first time it is kind of weird because you're concious that you don't wear panties but after some time you'll enjoy it and sometiems you forget it completely. Good luck kisses Luisa 2006-05-04 11:55:05
285 1592 Ladies, let me give you a man's point of view.& Many years ago when I was living in Montreal I dated a very sexy lady.& During the summer months we frequently went to a resort in the mountains.& When we went out,& she did not& wear panties& or bras.& If it was during the day she made me wear shorts without underwear.& When we would sit down she would always adjust her skirt so that I could barely see her pussy.& In turn she would put her foot on my leg and work her toes up my shorts so that she could touch my balls.& It was one erection after another for me, and she informed me that she was equally turned on.& As soon as we got back to the hotel room we attacked each other and had terrific sex.& In the evening, she also dressed without panties or bras.& When we danced it was almost as good as being naked in bed.& & I had more sex in the two summer months than in the rest of the year combined. :D& Ladies, take off those panties and bras.& It will generate the best sex of your lives. 2006-05-13 16:43:48
285 1593 Hi Jumper, I have found it is very effective....to wear a short little dress with no panties underneath, and to go by and bend over giving him a glimpse of the rear part of the pussy....then a fanny wiggle ensures a quick mounting and an entery into the vagina and a very wet intercourse, which often though doesn't last very long.... Melissa 2006-05-13 18:26:52
285 1597 Hi, I like your style.& My companion never did what you described.& She always gave me a partial view from the front or side.& However, I can sure imagine the view would be fantastic from the rear.& Fortunately I no longer cum that fast, and if I had access to a wet pussy from the rear it would be a nice long fuck. Jumper 2006-05-13 21:35:07
285 1603 [user=504]Jumper 1951[/user] wrote: " Ladies, take off those panties and bras. It will generate the best sex of your lives. " I go commando on the bottom, but the bra has to stay on for me. I don't like not having my bra on. Of course I take it of for certain things, but I don't know. I guess I just am not that confident with my breasts. They aren't really round. :? 2006-05-14 17:28:14
285 1606 Hey Lady bug, What does it mean "going Commando"?& & Unless your breasts are huge, going without a bras is like going without panties.& Takes getting used to.& & Your breasts& don't have to be perfect.& Contact with a woman that is not wearing a bras is so much more exciting.& My companion has small breasts, and I love the feeling of& free& breasts under a shirt or blouse.& A bras is like a fence. 2006-05-14 20:07:00
285 1610 [user=504]Jumper 1951[/user] wrote: "Hey Lady bug, What does it mean "going Commando"? Unless your breasts are huge, going without a bras is like going without panties. Takes getting used to. Your breasts don't have to be perfect. Contact with a woman that is not wearing a bras is so much more exciting. My companion has small breasts, and I love the feeling of free breasts under a shirt or blouse. A bras is like a fence. " going commando means no underwear. My boobs aren't huge, but they are not small enough to go braless. 2006-05-15 17:16:09
285 1611 Real boobs are never perfectly round. Only the obviously fake efforts have that round shape and it looks horrid and unnatural. Real boobs sit in a certain way, like a tear...as they should.:) 2006-05-15 18:58:43
285 1613 Jumper..I understand your point but when we are braless and walk briskly the tits bounce and after a while they get very sore and believe they hurt like hell. No many of us have cup A or B firm tits to go braless, I myself love it but they are large and look like drops and sag with the age.& Luisa & 2006-05-15 19:37:05
285 1616 Outdoors, almost always I wear panties because honestly I don't want to worry about how am sitting or what is showing. Besides, with most pants it is annoying not to wear one. On private walks or so, I love to go without panties. Around the house I never wear panties and very rarely bras; always walking around in loose clothes and when my flatmates are not there, naked. About bras, well tried going once or twice without a bra outdoors but the truth is, I felt like something on display. They're bit on the larger side and every man I passed by stared bluntly at them (the nipples always show). I didn't like that, made me feel like the only thing there is to me are my breasts. At home though, I do without them 2006-05-16 07:53:02
285 1626 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Real boobs are never perfectly round. Only the obviously fake efforts have that round shape and it looks horrid and unnatural. Real boobs sit in a certain way, like a tear...as they should.:)" haha...mine are kind pointy... :( even my bf pointed it out to me. *no pun intended* 2006-05-17 02:20:34
285 1627 LOL and the likes of madonna have previously purposely tried to make their boobs pointy....:D I think most boobs do have a sort of slight point in the middle at the front, especially from a side view. Still, better than wafting around your ankles..:P I do like going without a bra at home but, out and about, it would be too uncomfortable. I'm a& C cup and they are quite firm and not floppy but they do naturally wobble about all over as you walk and, especially, if you had to run. When that happens, it feels very physically uncomfortable and guys would just stare and their chins hit the pavement if they saw it happening under a T-shirt. If guys suddenly had to have a pair of large boobs attached to their chests for a few weeks without wearing support& and feel what they are like at certain times of the month and when you have to run or do any exercise, they'd soon wish they were without them again and understand what it's like for us women not to wear bras. 2006-05-17 11:04:37
285 1629 Luisa, having spent most of my life with women who have small breasts, I never was exposed to the problems women with large breasts face.& If it is uncomfortable, don't take of your bras.& However, even though I don't think I leer at woman with or without bras, with big or small breasts, pointed or otherwise, I cannot deny I enjoy the visual stimulation it gives me when an unusual breast is in my sight.& & I also can't deny looking at young ladies with very short skirts.& Can't remember the last time I saw one without panties, if ever.& I also can't imagine myself with breasts.& However, when I was younger and wore boxer shorts, in a much smaller way my balls hung loose and occasionally minor problems occured.& However, there is no comparison.& So wear a bras, but keep those panties in your drawer and not underneath your dress.& & 2006-05-17 14:54:47
285 1632 no panties underneath dress, no problem hehehe cutesville 2006-05-17 18:42:03
285 1633 I'm with you it is a great feeling, there is only that time of the month for young& women that they are needed....keep the trend& Melissa& Luisa 2006-05-17 19:08:18
285 1635 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: " When that happens, it feels very physically uncomfortable and guys would just stare and their chins hit the pavement if they saw it happening under a T-shirt. " I am probably preaching to the choir here, but if our society didn't teach girls that their breasts are evil and to hide them at all times while simultaneously teaching boys that breasts are some wondrous, magical thing that you are lucky to catch a glimpse of, then there wouldn't be any leering. 2006-05-17 19:26:30
285 1637 just a thing with no panties...if you've been very aroused during the day, you get lube juice which will drip down your leg....I call it naughty when it does it, and it& gets a treat, you need to play with it and scold it and get off...and then it gets better. 2006-05-17 23:52:56
285 1640 [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: " I am probably preaching to the choir here, but if our society didn't teach girls that their breasts are evil and to hide them at all times while simultaneously teaching boys that breasts are some wondrous, magical thing that you are lucky to catch a glimpse of, then there wouldn't be any leering." Are you sure? Human female breasts are relatively too big to their body size when considered with other mammals (think of a chimp or a gorialla or other primates). This is the same with the human penis, which is also quite big compared to the body size. Maybe all through the ages we prefered prominent sexual characteristics and it's not all influence by society. PS. Here in Germany (I'm not German myself) and likely europe it is amazing how comfortable they are with nudity. Breasts and naked bodies are quite a normal feature on any regular newspaper or magazine. I was shocked the first time I saw a completely naked man in an ad on TV in daytime!!! Still whereas at first I couldn't stop staring at the naked woman on a newspaper infront of me, I noticed none of the men or boys bothered that much (even my bf, acknowledges the photo and moves on to something else). HOWEVER, They still stare though at "live" breasts, small or big :) 2006-05-18 07:46:27
285 1648 Melissa....thank God the juices are colorless lol, so they can drip unoticed anyway Luisa 2006-05-18 14:38:47
285 1649 Kay you know that mistery atracts curiosity, here people have a fetish with female nipples, always they blurr them or put a black patch, and I always ask myself what is the difference between male and female nipples? (only size sometimes) and male nipples are displayed everywhere; I agree the Europeans are more liberated from those prejudices. Just a curious note here in Houston a shopping center was built with an anciente european theme and had several statues and you won't believe that a group of men and women forced the builders to cover the penis on David's statue and later remove the statue for being& pornographic; we went back several centuries.....Luisa 2006-05-18 14:46:46
285 1682 In America's society, nudity is a taboo thing.& I remember my sister telling me that when she went to Germany on a school trip she saw a man jogging naked through the streets. :P 2006-06-09 19:44:42
285 1683 [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: " Are you sure? Human female breasts are relatively too big to their body size when considered with other mammals (think of a chimp or a gorialla or other primates). This is the same with the human penis, which is also quite big compared to the body size. Maybe all through the ages we prefered prominent sexual characteristics and it's not all influence by society. " physical traits evolved millenia before civilization grew into being.& evolution gave us the urges, society (which came later) tied shame to those urges.& at least, that applies to cultures descended from puritans like the US. 2006-06-09 21:27:19
285 1689 Just a note for Katy message....we have to consider that earth was kind of empty in tthe begining so the task was "procreate" and the bible tell us that Cain got her sister pregnant and had 200 descendants well the& we got to the point of getting too many people and no contraceptives and people liked having sex so the religion stepped in and clasified sex as a mortal sin in order to slow it a little bit and it worked for long time but the church liked the new power over people and never changed the rules and today& still sinful any exhibition of the human body, like nipples.... Just a note Luisa & 2006-06-11 12:15:20
285 1690 I wouldn't say they were trying to slow down procreation, just to control it and ensure that children are born under the control of their religion. 2006-06-11 15:24:59
285 1694 I think the point of controlling sex in most religions is to ensure that the child the woman bears is from that man: this is very important for men and society because it really control the flow of money (inheritance) and power! I don't know if anyone here read "The intimate history of orgasm" (a very good read)... I remember the author mentioning some primitive societies where people still didn't figure out the relation between sex and babies.& In these societies, men were considered sort of second rate and women were much more important because they provided the offspring!& Sort of makes sense... if you're having sex all the time, and a baby pops out 9 months later, the association isn't that obvious.& Probably when people settled down and started raising cattle... they got it! :D 2006-06-14 17:18:33
285 1856 Here is a short true story. My first wife never wore panties (except the few times a year she had her period) and the same for the bra. She had her outer labia peirced and we would put long hanging ear-rings in. She would wear a summer dress and low sandals and I would wear cut offs, tank top and sandals and off to the mall we would go just to walk around window shopping and watch the people when we would walk by and my wife would tink-chingle-ling when she walked. Inside the stores while browsing the racks of clothes she would move side to side when someone was close. I'll tell you, we had more fun and awsome lovemaking that we couldn't hardly wait to get to a place (soometimes in semi public) were we could touch each other. It was great fun. 2006-07-07 12:59:55
285 1859 Hi, I have been meaning to comment on this posting but haven't gotten around to it. If bras are so necessary why were they invented only about 100 years ago, then, only as a means of covering the breasts, not as a means of supporting them?& How is it tribal women have engaged in dancing for hours without any form of support for their bouncing breasts? The discomfort women experience when they remove their bra may be caused by the use of a bra. The ligaments that support the breasts, inside the breasts,& experience atrophy, as a result not doing their job. When they are called on to support the breasts they are weak and cause discomfort, as with any part of the body. Bras have also been linked to breast pain, which means they will be more sensitive to movement when the bra is removed. It is interesting to see how "dependent" women have become on bras when they have been around for such a short period of time. Brad 2006-07-08 03:22:34
285 1863 Hi Brad interesting points I never wear a bra in my own house. The only times these days when I do wear one is when I go out and dress up a bit which is only about once a week or so to pick my daughter up from ballet or on the rare occasion I do go out for a drink or something similar. I think of my bra as a torture device and have called it that on many occasions. They are correctly fitted and I buy a new one every three months or so but yet when I come home only after about a couple of hours wear I can not wait to get it off. I often remove the bra before removing even my shoes! I cant stand wearing one and prefer to be free. I wish our society did not place such emphasis on the 'need' for a bra. It is different when breastfeeding and the bra helps to prevent the milk from filling up and freeflowing but other than that ........ I remember when I was 19 and pregnant with my first child. A friend of my family at the time told me I 'needed' to wear a bra in bed at night. Gosh was that uncomfortable. She took me to the shop and bought me the most firm bra she could find. I did not understand it then and I dont now ( a few kids later I might add ) It is weird the things we put ourselves through sometimes. Nowadays I am much less uptight about this sort of thing and would happily burn my bras if there was a way that I would feel comfortable in some of my blouses without one on :) Princess 2006-07-08 08:28:21
285 1867 Princess you're not alone, I've always ask why we are conditioned since childhod to wear bras, little girls, 9 or 10& wear "training bras" and i think it is a ridiculous costume, i understand that when we have large boobs we need the support once in a while but most of the times is uncomfortable...and what about the "underwire" it is a bitch...love Luisa:( 2006-07-08 12:34:51
285 1870 Hi there Luisa I have a nine year old daughter and there is no way that I would let her wear a training bra or anything similar. There is nothing there besides to warrant the use of one of those. I got my first bra when I was 13 years old and already had breasts and needed a B cup. I used to play netball and basketball back then and so it was thought I 'needed' one before a competition. I was told that it would feel more comfortable than having my breasts bouncing about! Underwires - dont even get me started on those LOL :) Princess 2006-07-08 20:20:05
285 1871 Hi Princess,,,you are so right...the "training bra" is just a piece of fabric to cover the budding nipples that's all; I see little girls wearing those and can believe the mothers do that to them also I'm a believer that they should be given the option of wearing panties when they needed only, what do you htink?love Luisa 2006-07-08 20:33:02
285 1873 Hi Training bras are one of my major pet peeves. ;)& I see young girls wearing them years before they will have developed breasts. I believe mom thinks it cute, her little girl is growing up, but if your eight-year-old believes she is a "young woman" what will she want to be doing at thirteen, play with dolls? If anything, bras draw our attention to their developing breasts when otherwise we probably wouldn't notice. Why are girls so eager to grow up, to gain attention? If one girl in third grade has a bra then it seems every girl has to have one, and her parents are unwilling to say no. Of course in America 99.99% percent of adult women wear them so girls get the message they should to. Someone said parents today are so fearful of neglecting their children by working so many hours that they shower them with material possessions, and out of guilt can't say no. I had a 12 year old relate to me how she made the mistake of wearing a bra with under wires when a) she didn't need a bra, and b) her choice in shirts didn't allow her to take the bra off when it started to hurt. :shock: This was also the same girl who mentioned her increase in vaginal fluids at night. :D No exactly what you would expect a twelve-year-old girl to be telling an adult male at a public event. :P I am amazed by the fact that some women are so militant about wearing a bra. It's like they start wearing a training bra and even though their breasts never develop they still continue to wear one, switching from a training bra to one that says AA or A on the tag. I've known only one woman with tiny breasts who wore a T-shirt rather than wrapping her chest needlessly in a bra. As I mention on the website, bras have become more a symbol of womanhood than the breasts they conceal. I believe anyone evaluating our society would be amused if not mystified by women and their relationship with their bras. If women need their bra so badly for support why do 70-80% wear the wrong size? Doesn’t that disprove that point? At least in America, it seems women feel it is a fashion statement to show off their bra straps. In the 70s women went without a bra under the tops that women today wear a bra with. I see women with like three sets of straps running across their back and shoulders! I thought this road map look was supposed to have gone out in the 80s? What is up with the wearing the equivalent of three bras at once? Have breasts suddenly become super dense? Many tops have built in support these days, so some are going without a conventional bra, but others are wearing a regular bra, a sports bra, and top with a built in bra at the same time. Am I only one to find this odd? Please excuse my sleep deprived ranting. Brad & 2006-07-09 00:25:58
285 1875 I see where you're coming from, Brad.& Another reason that a bra is needed is because our nipples can become sore from the friction of fabric, due to daily movements.& Wearing a bra doesn't allow the fabric of our shirts rub up against our nipples.& I remember reading somewhere in one of my woman's magezines that a bra is somewhat of a shield.& Male runners have to protect their nipples because their running shirts can rub them raw. 2006-07-09 11:27:29
285 1877 I do wear bras but I can only wear certain ones that don't have the horrific netting stuff inside the cup because I am allergic to that. I just wear the plain cross your heart type ones with no& seam across the cup& and aren't underwired either& but I don't wear them at night and such. I find that if I went without in the day, it really hurts and feels uncomfortable when my boobs are flopping and bouncing about, even when walking. Not only that but if you are wearing a tighter top or even a thin loose one, you can see them bouncing and every guy that passes just stares which I hate. I'm a C cup so I can't get away with the bouncing about issue. Before I went on the pill, I used to get very sore boobs at that time of the month too so leaving them out of a bra would be very painful. Any movement was painful during those times. I never wore training bras as a kid. I didn't get my first one until I'd already started getting boobs and they'd been growing a couple of years at least. I can't remember the exact age I got it. My mum has G sized cups and there is no way in heaven she could go without a bra. Not without feeling the pain of it. As for showing bra straps, thats common in the UK as well. I think it is often something that just happens as a result of wearing tops with spaghetti straps. Some girls might do it on purpose whereas many, I believe, just let them show because you can't hide them under the very thin straps of their top but don't want to go without a bra. I do understand about women wearing the wrong size mind. It is especially apparent in large chested women who wear a bra too small and much of their boob spills over the top of the cup so it looks like they have 4 boobs instead of 2. That looks such a mess and I always wonder how they manage to not feel in pain. & 2006-07-09 13:13:24
285 1878 I can understand why a woman that is amply endowd would wear a bras.& As you said, having them bounce around can't be very comfortable.& As a man, I have to be honest and admit to looking at women with boobs big or small if they are not hemmed in with a bras.& However, I sometimes wonder why women in general just don't enjoy the attention they get when men pay attention to a women's figure, boobs included.& When I was much younger and a competitive swimmer, I liked to wear my tight speedo bathing suites and display the little bulge that sometimes got much bigger when observed by some of the girls I knew.& I also think that young girls under the proper circumstances also like to flaunt it.& We have so far& not made reference to a new addition (I think it is relatively new)& to women’s intimate apparel.& The sports bras! Having no personal experience, I have to assume that a sports bras aside from protecting the nipples from chaffing, holding the breast in place and keeping them from jiggling must also be comfortable?& The reason for referring to this garment, is that my grandson ran cross country last fall on a boys team.& The girls competition always followed the boys. & His high school had a very good girls team, in fact they were the state champions.& & The seven girls who made up the varsity developed a ritual last season that I am sure was motivated by what the ladies soccer player, Chastain did when the U.S. team won the soccer championships, and their pride in their figures.& After each victory, and they won all the meets last season the seven girls on the varsity team would take off their shirts and parade around in their sports bras.& Needless to say the boys always staid to watch the finish of the girl’s race and the subsequent victory parade.& The sweat made the bras almost transparent.& The boys very light shorts frequently revealed at least several erections (by this time many of them had already taken off their jock straps)as they watched the sweaty girls parade around in their sports bras.& If you have ever seen really good girl runners you know that most if not all are lean and have very small breasts.& I am sure they wear bras to keep from chaffing their nipples as they run the 5 K competition, and in the case of this particular group of girls to use their sports bras as a flag of victory.& I must admit that they got the attention they wanted and frankly deserved.& That was one case where a bras served a very valuable purpose in addition to its function of holding and protecting the breast. . & & 2006-07-09 15:13:30
285 1879 I think many women want to be noticed more for other attributes than simply being a sexual object. There are many women who think the only way they can get attention is to flaunt their flesh to the guys and they'll get it. It's not a great thing really because it just contributes to the culture of too many& guys seeing women as sex objects and nothing else. I don't think this all too common attitude will change while ever women fall for it in their desperation to get male attention. There are some men now that think it is pathetic when a woman tries to get attention in this way and they steer clear because such women are often regarded has having few if no other qualities which is why they rely so much on that. I'd rather be noticed for my personality, intelligence, talents& and stuff like that. I don't want blokes to just see me as a potential vagina they can shove their dick up....not that they'd be able to anyway.:P I am a human being, not just a pair of boobs and a vagina. I like guys to look at my face when they speak to me, not my chest. There might be the odd instance where a guy wears tight shorts or whatever and lets his bulge show but how often do most women see this? Very little. Thats because guys don't generally feel the need to advertise themselves as sex objects, they don't go out& to bars and clubs& with mouse dropping sized bits of material covering their nipples and groin area in order to get attention. They generally wear trousers/jeans and a shirt of some sort. Advertising women simply as sexual objects leads many blokes to have a total disrespect for us and view sex as the only things we are meant for. It's about time women were valued more for other things, more important things... 2006-07-09 17:13:29
285 1880 Canis, I think you have jumped to a wrong conclusion.& I& worked in the private sector for almost 40 years, as a professor at a University for 10 years and I am now very heavily involved in a not-for-profit corporation that works with inner city at-risk youths (male and female) to help them finish High School and some to go to college.& Many of my fellow workers are women.& I respect them for their knowledge, skill and dedication to work just as I do my male colleagues.& I do not look at them as sex objects.& However, I would be lying if I did not admit to admiring women in general and some in particular as potential sex partners.& I agree with you that in our culture, woman are too frequently looked at only as sex objects.& I think that is wrong.& Thank you for reminding me that I& should be more aware of women's personalities and intelectual skills and not be so focused on their physical attributes. 2006-07-09 17:48:41
285 1881 Hi, Women say they don't want to be seen as a sex object or for their physical attributes but their “fashion” choices often seem to dictate otherwise. “Oh, I didn’t realize my breasts showed in this skin tight top!” or “You mean my cleavage is visible in this V cut blouse?” or “My loose fitting blouse falls open when I bend over?” I don’t believe the average woman is that naïve to believe these statements.& Women say they don't want to be noticed for their bodies, but their actions demonstrate otherwise, especially at the pool or beach. Then it becomes a battle between those with the self-confidence to show it and those who don’t, and those who are insecure and need the constant attention from men. I have noted when it warms up outside women's cloths come off pretty quickly. Their tops, shorts, and skirts get smaller and smaller. Yet they will still wear a bra even though they may have a tiny thong on under their short skirt. They don't want people staring at their breasts but wear tight tops? Believe me, guys, and girls, are going to look if you have a tight top on, or go without a bra. I suspect women are more self-conscious when they go without a bra and are more sensitive to the looks they get when the do. If you are simply wearing the latest fashion it is okay if a guy notices you but if you are do something socially inappropriate like not wearing a bra that isn't okay. Brad 2006-07-09 19:34:28
285 1882 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: " If bras are so necessary why were they invented only about 100 years ago, then, only as a means of covering the breasts, not as a means of supporting them?& How is it tribal women have engaged in dancing for hours without any form of support for their bouncing breasts?" have you seen the breasts of older tribal women? 2006-07-09 20:09:50
285 1883 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, Women say they don't want to be seen as a sex object or for their physical attributes but their “fashion” choices often seem to dictate otherwise. “Oh, I didn’t realize my breasts showed in this skin tight top!” or “You mean my cleavage is visible in this V cut blouse?” or “My loose fitting blouse falls open when I bend over?” I don’t believe the average woman is that naïve to believe these statements.& Women say they don't want to be noticed for their bodies, but their actions demonstrate otherwise, especially at the pool or beach. Then it becomes a battle between those with the self-confidence to show it and those who don’t, and those who are insecure and need the constant attention from men. I have noted when it warms up outside women's cloths come off pretty quickly. Their tops, shorts, and skirts get smaller and smaller. Yet they will still wear a bra even though they may have a tiny thong on under their short skirt. They don't want people staring at their breasts but wear tight tops? Believe me, guys, and girls, are going to look if you have a tight top on, or go without a bra. I suspect women are more self-conscious when they go without a bra and are more sensitive to the looks they get when the do. If you are simply wearing the latest fashion it is okay if a guy notices you but if you are do something socially inappropriate like not wearing a bra that isn't okay. Brad " It's a holdover from victorian sensibilities.& The victorian era was rampant with sex and innuendo.& People were obsessed with sex, but were expected not to admit it, discuss it, or acknowledge it.& It's about putting up a front or a facade.& Nowadays, women want to get sexual attention, but they don't want you to point it out, and they certainly don't want to discuss it.& It's all about what goes unsaid. 2006-07-09 20:13:40
285 1884 Hi, Have you ever seen the breasts of older women who have worn a bra since before they had breasts? Guess what, they look the same. Look at the photos in the Body Image section of the website. Bras are not of any benefit to women, but have been linked to health problems. Like I have said prior, bras have been around a very short time compared to how long women have been around. If bras were so necessary why weren't they invented prior? Today, bras serve more a social function than anything else. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/br_image.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/br_image.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/breasts.htm#bra] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/breast.htm#bra Brad 2006-07-09 20:21:49
285 1885 Brad& I think the real problem is not people staring at us but we create it by covering our breasts, inEurope there is no to much problem showing breasts and men do not stare becasue they are common sight; nudity is more natural in Europe, here in America exist the idea that the human body has to be covered. Some time ago at anudist camp you could spot the newcomers by the way they stared but after a copule of hours there were not to& much curiosity. Luisa 2006-07-09 21:00:00
285 1904 Personally, I don't wear dresses or skirts and wouldn't be seen dead in a swimsuit or bikini. I also don't like to wear anything that plunges too much to show cleavage and all the rest and I don't wear short tops that make my stomach show. I know lots of women who like to dress modestly. I agree there are plenty of hypocrits around but I'm certainly not one for flashing flesh. I don't even show my legs in public. If your boobs are on the larger side, it is very hard to hide the shape of them unless it's the middle of winter and you are wrapped in thick warm clothing. In summer and hot weather, no suitable clothing is going to hide the shape of boobs, not even a T-shirt large enough to be a dress. You'd have to swelter to death in a big thick coat to manage that....while guys walk around with their shirts completely off. To prove my point, I was at work one time and two guys came up to be served and I was wearing my works uniform which is certainly not meant for showing the figure off and attracting sexual attention, the top part being a polo neck shirt that was quite big and baggy on me...hung to below my groin...yet the shape of my boobs was still quite visible and I remember them glaring with eyes wide open as they spoke....until I made a comment that my face was on the front of my head and not my chest. Still, at the beach and such, both men and women would be wearing swimwear so it works both ways. If a person wants to go swimming, then it only makes sense that you wear something suitable and big thick clothing to hide the shape of the body isn't exactly ideal for swimming and lounging about in the sun& in is it? I still wouldn't want to walk around with boobs bouncing all over. When running or walking fast as I do, it is agony. Also, the U.S isn't the only place that views the human body as gross and shameful. Here in the U.K, we are the same for the most part. I read an article in the paper not long back where a guy reported a female neighbour because she was sunbathing nude in her own back garden. He had to look through the hedges and over a fence to see her and he filmed her with his camcorder and handed it in to police. He had noticed her when they were doing some renovation work on the house and he was on the porch or roof or something. The prosecuter ( A woman)& commented in court about how the lower regions of a womans body are deemed as grossly offensive to any normal person in society to which the woman being charged called her a prude. The guy who reported her made out he was shaken and shocked by what he saw and didn't want his children catching a glimpse of such a horrific sight as a naked woman. For starters, he was the one spying on her through the hedges and filming her in her own property and, secondly, if he is so frightened and grossed out by the naked female body, how the hell has he managed to father children? The case was evetually thrown out of court because people realised how ridiculous it was. I'm not against naturism because that isn't about exposing flesh for sexual attention, the woman just wanted to sunbathe in the privacy of her own back garden. I just don't hold with the idea of girls advertising themselves& as sex objects and even dressing 6 year old kids in boob tubes and hotpants that have slogans on like sexy bitch and stuff like that. Where louisa commented about us creating it& by covering our breasts, what do you& reckon would happen if we walked around with them showing? We'd be arrested for indecent exposure.....so we don't really have any choice anyway. Also, I bet if you were arrested due to being reported by other people, many of them would be men that reported you. A woman was told off here in the U.K for breastfeeding her baby on a park bench after a member of the public complained about her to the police officer who told her off. Just as many prude men would do this as women...like the guy who reported his naturist neighbour. When it comes to nudity and such, we are stuck in a rut of never being able to bring children up to see the naked body as normal and commonly seen thing. Adults are conditioned from their upbringing to not want to show themselves naked to their children and their children are expected to act the same because anything else is classed as abnormal. With the current paranoid attitude going on as a result of child perverts, parents might even be accused of being paedophiles if they were to educate their kids about the human body using their own bodies. PS. Jumper. I never thought that you were that type of bloke, I just saw you ask why women might not enjoy having their boobs stared at so I answered to explain as to why women might not enjoy having their boobs stared at. I do think that the whole problem originates from a society that expects us to keep ourselves covered up. Both men and women view the bodies of the opposite sex as complete novelties, especially younger people who haven't yet had a chance to really see a naked body of the opposite sex. Thats why they turn to porn and such. Recently, pages of a hard core magazine have been strewn all over the streets near where& I live....by kids....obviously in such a need to educate themselves about the female body...images of women laying there with their legs wide open and such things. If they were used to seeing womens bodies on a regular basis, would they feel such a need to look at such magazines as these? Still, women can never win because, as one woman said in the vag group, if we dress provocatively, we are branded tarts or slags and if we dress modestly, we are branded as being uptight, prude and boring.....hmmmm?!?!?!?!?! 2006-07-10 12:28:56
285 1918 Dear Canis, To put it in Americanese, you are right, I am not that kind of guy.& Because I am very active in a not-for-profit organization, I work with several women.& In fact the President of the organization is a woman.& I have the greatest respect for her and the other woman I work with.& However, I cannot tell a lie.& If one of them is wearing a loose blouse or the oposite a tight blouse, I look.& No! I do not stare, but I do look.& furthermore I do not think I am insulting them in any way if I admire their physical attributes, as long as I do not ignore their mental attributes.& One of the ladies that I work with knows that I am incontinent.& Occasionally, not in public, she will joke about peeing and wearing napkins just like a woman.& Initially I was taken aback, but now that I know her I no longer have a problem with her comments.& & She is a very handsome woman, and under other circumstances I would certainly think about her sexual attractiveness.& In fact I have fantasized about her, and again jokingly I told her so.& It has not affected our working relationship.& 2006-07-11 20:08:26
285 1922 In the spirit of this discussion, I decided today to go to the insitute without a bra.& I was nervous since most of the people here are men, but right now I love it. I hate wearing a bra in this warm weather anyway.& Right now, I am thinking the fuss and embarrasment is all in my head.& I certainly saw a few guys looking but that was it and honestly it does not bother me at all.& I think I will do this again.& The only porblem I have are nipples showing through.& I'm still abit embarrased about that. Canis, There's a lot of options between dressing provocatively and dressing very modestly.& These are only the extremes.& A woman can easily wear feminine clothes that show her figure without coming off as slutty or trying too hard. Men (and women) do comment when for example a woman is wearing something provocative that she is obviously uncomfortable in.& I think both sexes see through that very easily.& I try not to judge but I don't understand why a woman would want to wear very modest clothes as if she is trying to hide.& Most people I met who dress like that give me the impression they're trying to hide or to fit in.& For me niether is right.& I have a friend who does that.& & Everything she wears is bland (only brown/grey colors and the such), and it is so painfully obvious she is trying to hide, to walk down the street with as few as possible people noticing her.& She won't come with me swimming out of fear of wearing swimsuits.& When I confront her about those fears, she just avoids it. Where I used to work (pre-dominantely male enviroment), the only two women there I honestly mistook for& men at first.& I also had the feeling as if they're trying to hide, to blend in, which I find is just sad.& Women should be comfortable showing their femininity: niether hide nor provoke.& I think if they are, men more often than not, admire them without branding them as anything. 2006-07-12 05:28:03
285 1923 Don't get me wrong, I don't stick to bland clothes and try to hide so to speak although I can't say I'm a big lover of really standing out from the crowd and having everyone stare at me. I'll admit I wouldn't wear a swimsuit and I honestly wish I didn't mind wearing a swimsuit. I don't think that wearing a swimsuit to go swimming is a way of flashing your flesh for attention, it is just dressing according to the situation. If you wore a swimsuit to a business meeting, people would stare but on the beach or at the pool, it's normal and people are used to it...or should be. Yes, it does show when women use their flesh to try and get attention and it is also usual for men and women to check out attractive members of the opposite sex but too many guys will just stare, forget that you are a human with a mind, intelligence and feelings and may even shout sexist obscenities across the street at you like the typical builders ploy of shouting "Show us ya tits love", when they see an attractive woman walking past. This evening, I'll be going to my wing chun training and, along with my sister, we are the only female members. All the rest are guys. If I went there without a bra and was drilling with one of the guys and he saw my boobs bouncing about, I doubt he'd be able to concentrate on his training nevermind anything else. It was also be very uncomfortable for me physically. So I read up, the average cup size in women has risen quite dramatically since the 50s with the average cup size now being 36C when in the 50s, it was 34B. I suppose this can have a bearing on the fact that women are more likely to want the support of a bra these days compared to previous times. Yes, many women have breast enlargements and it's sad that they feel they need these...yet another result of guys being overly obsessed with boobs and womens desire to get attention in whatever way they can...for the wrong reasons. Still, the bodily shape of women has changed even without the help of surgery due to richer diets and less active lifestyles etc... I think that women can still dress attractively and fashionably& without showing all of their flesh and advertising themselves purely as sexual objects that have nothing else going for them. 2006-07-12 08:09:30
285 1924 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "I do understand about women wearing the wrong size mind. It is especially apparent in large chested women who wear a bra too small and much of their boob spills over the top of the cup so it looks like they have 4 boobs instead of 2. That looks such a mess and I always wonder how they manage to not feel in pain." 8 out of every 10 women are wearing the wrong size bra.& I work at a clothing store and we associates are trained to ask customers if they would like us to give them a complimentary bra fitting since so many women aren't wearing the right bra.& Proper bra fitting: To measure your band size, you measure from around your back to under your breasts.& The measurement is then your band size. Then taking the measuring tape up to the fullest part of your breat measure.& Take that measurement and subtract your band size and you can find out the cup size from there. For ex. :& A woman's band measured at 40, fullest part of the breast measured 43.& So she would be wearing a 40 C. A cup = 1 inch difference B cup = 2 in. difference C cup = 3 in. difference D cup = 4 in. difference and so on... Sometimes it's good to do a bra fitting every few years due to weight loss, weight gain, or pregnancy.& If your bra is uncomfortable, or doesn't look like it's covering right, or the cups are bulging away from your body, you're most likely wearing the wrong bra size, or even the wrong bra type for you. 2006-07-12 10:21:41
285 1929 [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: "In the spirit of this discussion, I decided today to go to the insitute without a bra. I was nervous since most of the people here are men, but right now I love it. " congratulations :D it is great isnt it LOL Good for you celebrate your womanhood every now and again without wearing one - works for me :) Princess 2006-07-12 17:26:57
285 1935 Hi!& Did it again today.& It's much more comfortable in this warm weather... My boyfriend summed up the male opinion on this: "You're not wearing a bra! [Silence] NICE! [Big smile on his face] So are you gonna get some groceries today?" Canis, I think I've been living in Germany for too long I forgot what men could be like.& Men are (sometimes annoyingly) discreet here, at least where I live.& Back home men will hit on anything in a skirt, actually it doesn't have to be a skirt, there has to be a sign she's a woman.& :?& Once I was back from the gym, in huge sweat pants and a bulky jacket and a warm old ugly hat on my head when a guy invited me for a ride in his car.& I still do not get that.& I looked awful, and anyway he couldn't have seen anything as it was dark.& & Needless to say I got mad at him and ran home . Here's what I tell my friend about swimsuits: "NO ONE CARES!"& Especially men!& they only see what they want to see.& & One look around any beach would calm anyone, there are so many women in all shapes and sizes,& old and young.& & Last time I saw a topless woman who could not have been less than 60.& Anyway, you could always get a nice wrap around the hips and after a couple of times you'd feel easy about the whole swimsuit thing.& I've been there, feeling very nervous and thinking everyone is staring at me but then you realize you're never gonna have a perfect flawless body and I just want to have fun.& So if anyone does not like it, it's their problem. Take advantage of the weather ;) 2006-07-13 04:44:22
285 1936 Well, generally, I'm not one who enjoys laying in the blazing sun on a beach. I burn very easy and skin cancer runs in our family. I also cope better with cold than with heat. I'm a seeker of shade in hot weather.& I'm also a crap swimmer, always was, lol. Secondly, with my obsessive skin picking problem which I am still trying to fight, it means I can't expose certain affected areas when they are bad anyway and there is always somewhere affected. This summer, it has been my shoulder worst hit but last year, I couldn't even wear short sleeves because my arms suffered bad. The skin picking does limit what& I can wear a lot of the time. Still, you don't even have to be wearing less to attract unwanted attention it seems. In December last year, I was on my way home from therapy for the vaginismus and I was on a& bus and a guy came and sat next to me so I was against the window. With it being cold, I was in trousers, big woolly jumper with roll neck and a big coat so I wasn't flashing any flesh& but not long after this guy sat down, to my horror, I noticed him having an erection and he was doing little to hide it. In fact, as I tried to move my legs away from him, his spread further apart. He was clutching the head rest of the seat in front with his hands and was practically thrusting in the seat and his dick was throbbing away. He was probably in his 40s, black and wearing a suit so he was smartly dressed and all with an expensive looking watch on too. I was mortified. I can laugh about it now when I tell people& but it was horrid at the time and something you never imagine happen to yourself. I put up with it for so long but then I asked him to move and I went and sat somewhere else. He got off at the next stop. Whether he had to get off there& or not remains a mystery mind. I later reported him to police because behaviour like that is just not on. I didn't hear anything but it was still worth having them know in case somebody else reported the same thing involving the same guy. & 2006-07-13 09:31:15
285 1939 Hi, When I am down in the Caribbean I usually go commando, and I know some of my dive buddies do the same. It is too uncomfortable in the heat. :dude: As hot as it has been locally I am ready to try a Kilt :shock: Brad 2006-07-13 20:00:37
285 1944 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, When I am down in the Caribbean I usually go commando, and I know some of my dive buddies do the same. It is too uncomfortable in the heat. :dude: As hot as it has been locally I am ready to try a Kilt :shock: Brad " my mind just raced LOL :) dont forget the pics if you do try the kilt :D Princess 2006-07-15 06:10:06
285 1947 HAHA, yeah!!!!!:D & Let's see if he actually does..... We need a devil smiley.. 2006-07-15 09:39:14
285 1950 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "HAHA, yeah!!!!!:D Let's see if he actually does..... We need a devil smiley.. " oh yes, a devil smiley is a top idea :D 2006-07-15 19:24:58
285 1954 Like I have nothing better to do than add a devil smiley for you ladies [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] I heard kilts are damn expensive so I guess I will stick with my sun dress :-& Brad monkey 2006-07-15 23:56:45
285 1955 Begin Test [-( =; :O) =* X-( :-X *-:) 8-X @};- 0:-) [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/50.gif[/img] :-(( monkey clown (~~) [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img] :-D :-)) :-O :-/ :P End Test 2006-07-16 00:03:31
285 1959 >:) & YAY!!!!!!!!!!!:-)) & Ok,& a photo in a sundress will just have to do. 2006-07-16 08:23:09
285 1960 My cousin's wife made him a kilt.& It's awesome!& Just find someone who will want to sew with plaid and make lots of pleats.& hehehe... Good luck though because plaid and pleats are the hardest things to work with. :-(( 2006-07-16 10:11:48
285 1962 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Like I have nothing better to do than add a devil smiley for you ladies [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] I heard kilts are damn expensive so I guess I will stick with my sun dress :-& Brad monkey " LOL @};- these are so cool - thanks Brad :-D ( perhaps you could get a tartan wet suit? that would work hehehe :) Princess 2006-07-16 18:54:54
285 1964 :?& Well as for me ... I need the panties. I do believe it is common not to wear panties. But, I always feel a little wierd if I go out in public without 'em; therefore, I just always wear em. lol but than again I am a 41 year old woman. I'm not like the many of the young women on here. By the way, I know age has nothing to do with it, just my feeling :) 2006-07-16 20:59:00
285 1965 As for me, I feel it is common; but, I just alway have my panties on when I am out in public. 2006-07-16 21:00:40
285 1968 The other night, I wore a skirt and didn't wear panties, and it felt so awesome!& Too bad my boyfriend didn't come over that night.& :(& I was actually looking forward to seeing his reaction.& Maybe another time. 2006-07-16 22:00:06
285 1979 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "The other night, I wore a skirt and didn't wear panties, and it felt so awesome! Too bad my boyfriend didn't come over that night. :( I was actually looking forward to seeing his reaction. Maybe another time. " Congratulations and good for you :D Princess 2006-07-17 20:02:35
285 1989 my husband and i rented a house in san pedro belize a couple weeks ago and and while the kids were out diving & we were just hanging around the house i was feeling quite frisky so i walked out on the porch where he was reading and sat down on his lap in a little short sundress with no panties on. seemed like old times back in my 20s when i used to drive him nuts going to parties "commando" -- something about mine -- just knowing there's instant easy welcome access makes him hot and bothered every time! & hot AND bothered on the way to work this a.m. -- happily surprised nobody else in the office...got to get myself off...NO PANTIES all day in my skirt -- don't tell :P:P 2006-07-18 10:40:20
285 1991 [user=649]hotnbothered[/user] wrote: "my husband and i rented a house in san pedro belize a couple weeks ago and and while the kids were out diving & we were just hanging around the house i was feeling quite frisky so i walked out on the porch where he was reading and sat down on his lap in a little short sundress with no panties on. seemed like old times back in my 20s when i used to drive him nuts going to parties "commando" -- something about mine -- just knowing there's instant easy welcome access makes him hot and bothered every time! Â hot AND bothered on the way to work this a.m. -- happily surprised nobody else in the office...got to get myself off...NO PANTIES all day in my skirt -- don't tell :P:P " you little devil >:) this all sounds like great fun and I am so pleased for your confidence :D Princess 2006-07-18 11:07:19
285 2167 Interesting topic. Ihave a funny story about this. Long time ago when i was about 12 or maybe 13 I was at home just sitting around...my mom had one of her friends over...nothing special. One time when she squated down for some reason i noticed she was not wearing any underwear under her long skirt. It was intruigging for me in a way and for some reason i thought that women just dont wear undies under dresses/skirts when they grow up. So next time i decided to go the 'grown up way' and went commando under my dress. Interesting feeling it was until i got started to get noticed and stopped for a while...got explained that its not how all grown up women go. But still do it to this day and love it. 2006-07-28 16:28:12
285 2231 Ladybug wrote:& going commando means no underwear. \ & a& Bra is underwear, underwear is somthig you wear under your clothes therefor& bras and panties are both underwear 2006-07-31 08:11:29
285 2232 Ladybug wrote:& going commando means no underwear. \ & a& Bra is underwear, underwear is somthig you wear under your clothes therefor& bras and panties are both underwear 2006-07-31 08:11:56
285 2233 Ladybug wrote& haha...mine are kind pointy... :( even my bf pointed it out to me. *no pun intended* & Ithink its kinda sexy:cool: that they are kinda pointed, most girls and women hav a pointed breast 2006-07-31 08:17:23
285 2268 [user=661]DracoXXX89[/user] wrote: "Ladybug wrote:& going commando means no underwear. & a& Bra is underwear, underwear is somthig you wear under your clothes therefor& bras and panties are both underwear "Very true, but I don't call a bra underwear.& I call "panties" underwear.& Which is what I meant. 2006-07-31 22:26:33
285 2280 Hi, No, most girls and women do not have pointed breasts. This is only true, maybe, if they are very small. Women often wear bras to make their breasts appear to be perkier than they are, because of social and peer pressure. Your can see this in the photos linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/br_image.htm Brad 2006-08-01 10:11:51
285 2322 My rule of thumb is that is the skirt is below the knee, I'm fine without panties, but if it's above the knees, I ought to have 'em. ^_^ I pretty much only wear panties 'that time of the month', or if I am wearing a short skirt. ... I remember the first time I went commando, it was a thrill for my boy... Nowadays it is so normal, he really could care less :P As for the post about bra sizes... I don't think they MAKE a 28C, so I'll stick with my 34A's. :P They fit the best out of any bra I've had, even though by those standards I should be in a 28C. I'll have to try and 32C if I can find one and see if that fits any better. 2006-08-06 23:36:35
285 2327 I've seen 32Cs here in the UK so I'm sure they should do them in the U.S too. I& suppose it is really hard when you are quite short and also petite because it usually means your measurements are smaller than a person who is taller but is also of the same size in comparison to their height. I've read about really small women like yourself having to buy childrens clothes because adult ones are too big for them... 2006-08-07 08:07:05
285 2330 [user=457]KeddyPie[/user] wrote: "My rule of thumb is that is the skirt is below the knee, I'm fine without panties, but if it's above the knees, I ought to have 'em. ^_^ I pretty much only wear panties 'that time of the month', or if I am wearing a short skirt. ... I remember the first time I went commando, it was a thrill for my boy... Nowadays it is so normal, he really could care less :P As for the post about bra sizes... I don't think they MAKE a 28C, so I'll stick with my 34A's. :P They fit the best out of any bra I've had, even though by those standards I should be in a 28C. I'll have to try and 32C if I can find one and see if that fits any better. "I measure up to be a bigger size than what I wear, but I don't have any problems with my bra.& That's why sometimes it's good to mess around with the bra size to get the one that fits you the best.& Also, keep in mind, all bra styles fit differently. 2006-08-07 15:02:18
285 2332 Yeah and different brands fit differently from what I've found too. Same with all clothes.& A size 8 in one brand might be too big but the same size in another brand might be too small. 2006-08-07 17:24:54
285 2333 That's true for all clothes, even for guys.& I've tried on pants from one designer that fall off without a belt, but the same size from a different label I can't even button.& It's pretty ridiculous. 2006-08-07 19:40:35
285 2334 I know how that is!& The store I work for even does that. :(& They have two brands, Venezia and 7Seven, and the 7Seven run super small.& 2006-08-07 20:27:03
285 2339 Somehow i remembered this thread when i was getting ready to go to work today....and with this summer heat i went pantyless in a below the knee skirt. & Actually feels excellent. I never done this at work and somehow feel guilty as some pple around knew. I get these looks....but they maybe just looking at my funky wooden platforms.. 2006-08-08 12:21:49
285 2342 Hi, I would doubt they would be able to tell, depending on the dress. If it was form fitting and there was an obvious lack of a panty or thong line then they may be curious to know if you didn't have any on. With a loose dress it would likely been have your imagination. Even if they knew, what does it matter? On the other hand I can spot a woman who has gone without a bra about a mile away, because her cloths fit totally different, and her breasts have, God forbid, natural lines and movement. Again, it is sometimes what you don't see that gives her away. i.e. no visible bra lines. Brad 2006-08-08 22:10:49
285 2467 Well, when I was 9, one day, I was feeling kinda sexually arroused, so I decided to were a dress (which went up to my ankles) and no panties to school. I have to say, it was kinda fun. But, I didn't do it after that. It is just plain slutty. 2006-08-27 13:39:47
285 2468 Kay you must try it again (assume you're older now)it is fun and arousing....Luisa 2006-08-27 14:00:16
285 2474 Hi, It is interesting how social perspective changes with time. When women did not normally wear undergarments wearing them was considered overtly sexual but now that women normally wear underwear the opposite it true. I have heard this principle applies in societies where nudity was the norm but women started wearing foreign styles of clothing. It is unfortunate that women feel bad about dressing in a way that is healthier for their body and likely more comfortable too. I have heard that once women go without for extended periods of time they cannot tolerate going back. Brad 2006-08-27 15:24:21
285 2482 I've only done it in the privacy of my own apartment. I must say I love hanging out at home in nothing but a purple t-shirt that doesn't quite cover my bottom!:-D 2006-08-27 19:51:26
285 2483 Oo-la-la, guess which clothes I just changed into! 2006-08-27 19:54:52
285 2484 which clothes? look in& my profile :-) 2006-08-27 20:09:58
285 2486 luisa1, You go, girl! 2006-08-27 20:19:07
285 2487 [user=19]luisa1[/user] wrote: "Kay you must try it again (assume you're older now)it is fun and arousing....Luisa" Yea, I know, but won't it send guys (if they happen to see) the wrong idea? 2006-08-27 20:20:33
285 2488 HI do not worry we have the right to dress how we want, the guys that have seen me when sitting just smile and nod, nobody so far have made any advances..Luisa 2006-08-27 20:23:19
285 2489 [user=749]Kaitak777[/user] wrote: "[user=19]luisa1[/user] wrote: "Kay you must try it again (assume you're older now)it is fun and arousing....Luisa" Yea, I know, but won't it send guys (if they happen to see) the wrong idea? " Just because you go pantiless doesn't mean you have to do it while wearing a mini skirt and spread your legs to the public.& The point that a lot of the women in this thread are making is that having no panties on while nobody around you is aware of the fact can be a thrilling experience. 2006-08-28 00:04:23
285 2588 The only problem is that after some time you may forget and sit or squat the way dont even know that others may see. I say 'so what' you know i am not meaning to show you this. I dont think it makes you slutty unless you are wearing a micro mini skirt and 6" stripper platforms. I really enjoy doing it and frankly not sure if people at work seen me like this or whoever else. Only twice or so in my life i had somebody approach me with a comment.... 2006-09-08 11:49:34
285 2590 Hi..I'm with you it is nobody business what we wear or not and I htink it is very rude if anybody criticizes you; on the other hand I don't mean togo around pantiless and opening the legs onpurpose, if anybody is watching a my crotch is their choice and if they get a glimpse is ok....I love it and love& go pantiless wiht& my short skirts..Luisa 2006-09-08 17:18:48
285 2758 Haha, this thread is awesome. It reminds me of my days in High School when one of my female friends, who was adamently opposed to any form of undergarmant, went on a crusade to "depantify" all the girls in our social group. All I can say is more power to you, underwear is quite annoying on my side as well, I remember making the change from briefs to boxers (more important than it sounds) and never looking back and eventualy 'going commando' a few times myself which brings me to my second point. Brad you have got to get some Kilts, you will love it! I am an occasional utilikilt wearer and it is one of the best things you can do for yourself.....however I stress the occasional part, kilts aren't quite socialy acceptable at this time. Going out on the lake or to a Rock Festival are the only times I've donned my mandress, hopefully they will get more use in the future. edit: would you like some url with that sir? www.utilikilt.com/ 2006-09-19 06:30:54
285 2763 I think men in kilts are sexy!... I've been to a few concerts and I have seen guys wearing them.& Once my friends and I yelled out her car window to the boy, "Do you wear underwear under that?" And his girlfriend lifted up his kilt and exposed his boxers to us.& 2006-09-19 10:17:47
285 2764 Hi, At the event I was at when the guy lifted his kilt there was no underwear, but then it was an adult event. He was on stage and got lots of cheers. :dude: I have been debating whether to post the following photo, but here it is. Is this girl brave, naive, an exhibitionist, or what? I would guess it depends on her motivation and awareness of down under. Women have posted their concerns about some one noticing when they go without underwear under a full length dress while here is a photo of a young woman dancing at a club in a mini dress, thong, and displaying the string of her tampon. I wonder, would this woman ever go without undies? As you can see, thongs don't cover very much, and not as much as the wearer may believe. Why not go without? I know there was a big to do about a panty check& before a high school dance a couple years back because girls were wearing thongs, and my guess is this would become obvious during the dancing. I know girls in some groups advertised the fact that they wore a thong. Would these same girls ever go without? It is like women who wear ultra push up bras to emphasize their breasts but would never go without a bra, or are overly self conscious when they do. Do they believe no one stares at their breasts when they are showing them off, while wearing a bra? Is there that much social stigmatism to going without undies that women would wear undies that cover almost nothing rather than nothing? Is a thong okay but no undies slutty? Are we splitting fabric fibers? I didn't take this photo, I found it on the internet, just so people don't get the wrong idea. :shock: Brad 2006-09-19 11:08:56
285 2765 LOL, there's no point in skirts like that. They might as well just wear a belt....:D I don't really like thongs because they are uncomfortable and I only wear them on the very odd occasion to prevent a VPL if I go out and am wearing trousers with thinner fabric where a VPL shows more. Thicker fabric like denim often hides a VPL enough for you to not have to worry about it.& I don't wear dresses or skirts so I wouldn't ever have the same issue as the girl in the above photo. Normally, I just prefer a comfy pair of cotton briefs and don't wear any at all at night. As for the bra thing, even though I'm not an exhibitionist myself, I am aware that society sees pushed up boobs as acceptable but boobs without a bra are a rarity and unusual and something to be stared at...unless you are down town on a night out. Many tops you see girls wearing when they go out drinking etc..& require the wearer to go without a bra and boobs hanging free underneath seems to be acceptable at those times and goes unnoticed. It is only at other times that boobs not in a bra become something of an issue and everyone seems to notice them and makes comments on them. 2006-09-19 11:21:25
285 2766 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "...Is there that much social stigmatism to going without undies that women would wear undies that cover almost nothing rather than nothing?... Brad" Pretty much, yeah there is. Take a look at the TV Broadcasting in America, every single part and aspect of the breast is okay to show on TV as long as there isn't a nipple showing. Rules on obscenity are being created in our society based on content, not context. 2006-09-19 13:06:04
285 3341 Hi, I know this is a popular thread and I now wonder if we have had some famous readers who took it to heart. A couple infamous Hollywood celebrities, Lindsay Lohan& (2 -3 times) and Britney Spears (3 times last week), have been photographed while wearing short skirts and no undies. Needless to say these photos gained a lot of attention. Both women have been hanging out with the equally infamous Paris Hilton, who started the trend of "oops" a couple years ago. Seems baring your breasts no longer attracts much attention from the press and public so some speculate that baring your vulva is the new way to gain the attention. Unfortunately, a lot of people are very angry because these ladies allowed their vulva to be seen. Kind of like Janet Jackson's nipple peep sending people into tilt over a little nipple on TV. It likes people can no longer see these women as "virginal" and good girls because their vulva, in both cases shaven, has been publicly exposed. Do we prefer to live in denial of their vulva? Found the following posted on many websites: "Gynecologist Jackie Thomas cautions against fans following in the footsteps of their Hollywood idols. In terms of vaginal infections, no underwear at all can often be better than constricting synthetic panties, she says, but there are other considerations to take into account. "It's unhygienic not so much for the woman who's not wearing underwear, but to the people around her," says Thomas, who practices in Toronto. "Let's face it - like every other woman, they've got a certain amount of discharge and they are hanging around with other people."" Um, was this an appropriate thing for a female gynecologist to say? People are walking around sweating, coughing, sneezing, and blowing their nose, which is okay, but "female fluids" pose greater risk? Perhaps we should ban public toilets for women, as we wouldn't want their bare bottoms exchanging body fluids. The doctor's email address is if you want to share your thoughts with her. Here is what I emailed her: Dr. Thomas, & The following comment that you made to the press is inappropriate& and reflects badly on women, and needless to say yourself. & "Gynecologist Jackie Thomas cautions against fans following in the footsteps of their Hollywood idols. In terms of vaginal infections, no underwear at all can often be better than constricting synthetic panties, she says, but there are other considerations to take into account. "It's unhygienic not so much for the woman who's not wearing underwear, but to the people around her," says Thomas, who practices in Toronto. "Let's face it - like every other woman, they've got a certain amount of discharge and they are hanging around with other people."" That statement has now appeared on many websites. Thanks for reinforcing society's believe that women have something offensive to keep hidden between their legs. So it is okay for people to walk around sweating, coughing, sneezing, and blowing their noses, but "female" body fluids pose some greater risk to the general public? If& female body fluids pose such a public health risk maybe you should start a campaign to ban public toilets for women, as they are placing their bare bottoms on the toilet seats?& You had better ban public swimming for women, as their single layer swimsuit bottoms& can't possibly& contain their body fluids. How do your job if you are so offended by female body fluids? Unfortunately, since your name begins with "Dr." people take your word to be Gospel. & Sincerely, Brad Fox & & & 2006-12-03 10:26:06
285 3343 & That's great, Brad!& I can't believe she would have said something like that.& How exactly can female discharge cause more harm than any other thing that comes out of the human body?& I would like to write her something as well.& But I'm having trouble thinking about what to write. 2006-12-03 13:03:24
285 3344 Oh, and would you happen to have the article that she said that in? Is there any link? 2006-12-03 13:04:16
285 3346 Hi, Here is a link to one of them, but the article now appears on many websites :X [url=jam.canoe.ca/Television/2006/11/29/2546779-cp.html] jam.canoe.ca/Television/2006/11/29/2546779-cp.html Brad 2006-12-03 16:12:24
285 3347 It's not socially acceptable to go around sneezing or sweating on everything either.& If you go to the gym, you are expected (at least at my gym) to bring a towel and wipe down the machines when you are done.& Anywhere you go, you are expected to cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.& In bathrooms, they do have paper toilet seat covers to help limit transference of germs in both men's and women's restrooms.& Remember, if a woman in a short skirt is going around pantiless, she risks not only transferring her fluids to seats and the like, but also fecal bacteria like E Coli. Also, if the the seat is somehow absorbant, then the fluids soaking into the seat could prove for a good breeding ground of bacteria.& Women don't (or at least shouldn't) wear soiled panties, right?& An absorbant seating surface isn't really any different than a piece of underwear that soaks up and holds on to bacteria.& Or, if one woman in particular has otherwise good hygiene, but another woman who has previously occupied the chair did not, there is a risk for transference.& The vagina has a lot of mucous membranes that are really susceptable to transmission of infections, and sitting on a dirty public chair is risky for that reason as well. 2006-12-03 17:01:15
285 3348 Thats ridiculous. Sheesh!!!! I sent her a nice long email of my own. Hopefully, it will make her think somewhat....especially being as the message she is sending out is a big contributor of vaginismus, sexual arousal disorder, sexual aversion in general, young girls worrying that they are abnormal somehow because they never get to see another vulva& and all the other things women suffer from as a result of messages like this. It makes me so angry. Maybe I wouldn't be affected like this if I didn't suffer from vaginismus but I have learnt a lot due to the condition and developed strong opinions about things like this as a result. 2006-12-03 17:31:35
285 3349 dfs3, This may be true, but how thick of clothing should we require women to wear? Cotton undies and a light weight skirt or dress wont stop body fluids from seeping through, especially sitting down for say dinner.& If we did such a good job of containing our germs colds and flues wouldn't be so common. There is a risk with everything we do and unless we want to life in a bubble we have to accept some things. I don't want to be treating women like that all have vaginal infections, as I believe this Dr's statement implies. Brad 2006-12-03 18:46:03
285 3350 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "dfs3, This may be true, but how thick of clothing should we require women to wear? Cotton undies and a light weight skirt or dress wont stop body fluids from seeping through, especially sitting down for say dinner.& If we did such a good job of containing our germs colds and flues wouldn't be so common. There is a risk with everything we do and unless we want to life in a bubble we have to accept some things. I don't want to be treating women like that all have vaginal infections, as I believe this Dr's statement implies. Brad " That doesn't mean we shouldn't do what we can to prevent those germs from being spread. And the source of the issue was female celebrities wearing micro-skirts without panties.& If they were wearing jeans or a long dress, I am sure the doctor would not have said anything.& The fact is, a mico-skirt that is so short that your crotch is on display to the world offers a lot less protection than a longer/thicker skirt or a pair of pants.& If men were in the habit of wearing such scant clothing around the waist, I am sure these comments would be directed at them as well.& Men don't wear such clothes, though, so it's not an issue with them.& Human genitalia ARE dirty objects, no matter which way you look at them.& There are more practical applications for underwear than modesty. 2006-12-03 18:57:12
285 3355 Actually, coughing and sneezing into hands would probably be worse than not covering your mouth at all, especially where you are somewhere you can't wash your hands straight away. This is because you then go on to touch door handles and everything else with those germ covered hands which somebody else then touches and the germs end up on their hands and then they get transferred to their mouth or eyes when they rub them or eat something. Even if you do wash hands, unless the public loos have those automatic taps that turn on when they sense hands placed under them, you still have to touch the tap handle to turn it on. It is this type of germ transferring that causes most infection, not sneezing and coughing into the open air. It's easy to imagine how germs can be transferred much much further via the hands touching everything as the person moves from one place (Room, building) to another. Also, as I stated in the email to her, nobody goes on about coughing and sneezing in the same dire way that people would go on about a vulva that wasn't covered with underwear at all times. Also, even when wearing a short dress or skirt, when sitting, that dress or skirt would still generally cover the vulva area when the woman was seated even if it's exposed from the front. I think that most women wouldn't want their bare vulva touching a public seat directly. Even when wearing underwear, you see women pull their skirt or dress under their bottom when they go to sit down. 2006-12-04 07:04:56
285 3357 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: " This is because you then go on to touch door handles and everything else with those germ covered hands which somebody else then touches and the germs end up on their hands and then they get transferred to their mouth or eyes when they rub them or eat something. Even if you do wash hands, unless the public loos have those automatic taps that turn on when they sense hands placed under them, you still have to touch the tap handle to turn it on. It is this type of germ transferring that causes most infection, not sneezing and coughing into the open air. It's easy to imagine how germs can be transferred much much further via the hands touching everything as the person moves from one place (Room, building) to another. " Touching the tap to turn it on is fine, its touching the tap to turn it off that is the problem :P& I know not everyone does it, but after I wash my hands, I turn the faucet off with a paper towel and also open the door with a paper towel as well.& If need be (mostly when there is an air dryer instead of towels), I use my elbow. 2006-12-04 12:21:11
285 3358 [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "[user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: " This is because you then go on to touch door handles and everything else with those germ covered hands which somebody else then touches and the germs end up on their hands and then they get transferred to their mouth or eyes when they rub them or eat something. Even if you do wash hands, unless the public loos have those automatic taps that turn on when they sense hands placed under them, you still have to touch the tap handle to turn it on. It is this type of germ transferring that causes most infection, not sneezing and coughing into the open air. It's easy to imagine how germs can be transferred much much further via the hands touching everything as the person moves from one place (Room, building) to another. " Touching the tap to turn it on is fine, its touching the tap to turn it off that is the problem :P& I know not everyone does it, but after I wash my hands, I turn the faucet off with a paper towel and also open the door with a paper towel as well.& If need be (mostly when there is an air dryer instead of towels), I use my elbow. " That's what I do when I'm here at school or in any other public restrooms.& If there are the dryers, I take the bottom of my shirt and use that to open the door. But do keep in mind when washing hands, use hot water, soap.& Scrub hands for 20 secs (2 times through the ABCs) and you should be clean! :) IT really grosses me out when girls quickly run their hands under the water and walk out the bathroom, even more sickening when they have a bowel movement and don't even wash their hands at all! Now we can talk about spreading germs! :-& 2006-12-04 14:13:53
285 3359 Oh and by the way... the gynecologist is a man. 2006-12-04 14:21:17
285 3360 Or that's what one of the sites said... heheh [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/08.gif[/img] 2006-12-04 14:22:13
285 3494 One day Little Johnny saw Mary wearing a new sun dress. Thinking he would like a glimpse of her panties, he offered her a dollar to climb a nearby ladder. But sly Mary wasn't about to let him see her panties, she took them off. 2007-01-04 21:07:47
288 1548 Please be aware that attaching irrelivant pictures to EVERY post is not allowed on here and will be the quickest way to your membership being banned from this group. This is because loading pages with a dial up modem or slower connection becomes a nightmare for genuine users who are here to seek advice. Princess 2006-05-02 06:55:29
288 1549 well, if you're referring to pictures in signatures, it really shouldn't be a problem as long as the picture is not excessively large or inappropriate. most people have their browsers set to cache pictures, so when they visit they only have to download the picture once since the picture doesn't change. 2006-05-02 13:22:48
288 1550 Hiya no not pictures in signatures. One user had put massive .jpegs attached to over thirty posts overnight. Totally unacceptable. They were irrelivant in that one was the entire cast of Friends. Princess 2006-05-02 13:54:24
290 1554 I used to have trouble orgasming while having intercourse. I've only orgased once while doing it before becuase it was round #5, which means that I was pretty sensitive and certain movements worked just fine that time. Just recently my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I thought, maybe if I do play a little with myself I'll be able to bring myself to an orgasm. Boy was I right! Is it possible for a woman to pre-orgasm? lol... I probably would not have thought of doing it without being on here, and the-clitoris.com, along with talking to my friends about it. So, I just want to thank you all! :) 2006-05-02 19:51:09
290 1574 Hi Always good to hear someone figured that :D It is sooo much fun. I bring myself to orgasm during sex that way... I can't come just from intercourse, although I have to admit it provides A LOT of stimulation, but my fingers finish me off It's a whole lotta fun!!!! 2006-05-06 09:10:15
290 1582 I totally agree with you on that one. It actually makes me orgasm faster. 2006-05-10 16:30:35
291 1560 I'm a woman and I orgasm too quickly and have frequently done so with only a few seconds of build up of sexual pleasure.& I was told by my first boyfriend that there's something wrong with me. I find it exhausting during sexual intercourse and as a result it becomes annoyingly short.& I've been told that my marriage won't last because of it. 2006-05-03 09:44:28
291 1562 Hello I can orgasm pretty quick but the beauty about women is that we can often& easily, more easily than men, orgasm again and again. Why don't you try to learn how to do that? Do you normally only orgasm once? I know I find it easier to orgasm again after I orgasmed before and can do them again and again in a row. If you practise, maybe you will too and then it won't have to remain such a short experience. Lots of men have that problem too btw. I think it was a bit sad of that ex to tell you there was something wrong with you because there isn't. It is better than not being able to orgasm at all is it not? I also think that whoever said your marriage wouldn't last needs their head reading and if any guy left his wife just because of something like this, then she'd be better off without him anyway. Marriage isn't all about sex and a problem in the bedroom is only likely to end a marriage if there are problems out of the bedroom as well. 2006-05-03 11:24:18
291 1566 I didn't mean that I orgasm only once.& Sorry for not being clearer.& I average about 10+ orgasms in 10 minutes and it tires me out.& Close friends or family have bragged to me that they can last for hours.& I told them I could only last a maximum of 15 minutes.& So they told me that my marriage wouldn't last because of it.& They also said it wouldn't last because my husband and I don't do oral sex.& But my husband and I don't want to do oral sex.& He is terrified of it because of a bad experience at the age of 4 and I'm fine with that because I don't enjoy it that much anyway. My first boyfriend said that my orgasms were a turn off because I was noisy and it was messy.& He told me that my orgasms made me too wet and I was too fat and that was the reason he had difficulty having an orgasm.& He would take 45 minutes to orgasm and would expect to change sex positions every three minutes.& But he eventually changed his mind and stopped changing positions all the time and said I wasn't good enough for any other positions.& He also started shouting nasty things at me until I'd cry& during sex.& He would also smack and pinch my stomach after complaining that I was too fat, which was painful but for some reason it made him orgasm quicker.& I've felt like a failure and ugly ever since. I went to the doctor and asked if I was overweight and if there were ways that I could lose weight.& The doctor said I was& healthy and shouldn't even think about losing weight. My lack of confidence has stopped me having sex for the past year.& My husband says there is nothing wrong with me and I should let go of the past.& But I'd like to know the opinion of someone besides him. I hope that wasn't too much information.& It's kind of embarassing to say stuff like that but I suppose it has to be done otherwise I'll never get over it.:(& By the way, I've already had couselling and that sort of thing. 2006-05-04 07:14:41
291 1567 Listen to your husband then. If he is happy, thats all that counts. If you carry on obsessing over what other clueless spongebrains say, this could cause problems because your husband may tire of your worrying and this might put him off. If you are happy and content, he will be too. It's sad that there are so many people who believe things like this will be the end of a marriage. Maybe they assume everyone is like them. Fortunately, they are not. If your doc says you don't need to lose weight, you don't need to lose weight. There is way too much pressure on women to be stick thin as it is and, even if you are slim and seen as slim, you still have to endure not so great comments. I like to think I am a healthy weight and I am. I eat quite a lot and try to eat healthily although I do have a soft spot for chocolate,& but I am still slim but I'm not bony, I have curves...but people call me skinny...which I hate with a passion.. If I was a couple of stone heavier, I don't think they'd dream of calling me fat but they think it's ok to call me skinny. You can't win either way, trust me. As for being able to have 10 orgasms in 10 minutes...man, there are millions of women out there would do anything to be able to do that. I think your mates are just more jealous to death than anything else and trying to make you feel bad in order to make themselves feel better. Yes, having orgasm after orgasm is tiring. Maybe give yourself a few minutes cooling off inbetween before resuming to see if you can space yourself out a little but, in the end, I don't think you need to worry too much about it as your hubby doesn't seem to mind. He's probably happy that he makes you have all of those orgasms so quickly. As for your ex...all& I can say is that I'm glad he is your ex....I wouldn't give him the time of day. If he said anything like that to me, he wouldn't know what hit him on& his way out of the door. He was probably insecure and was threatened by you and your ability to have orgasms so quick when he took 45 minutes to get to that point but rather than have his own ego dented and feel unmanly, he transferred it over to you. Made you feel like you were the freak with something wrong and not him. Thats what I strongly believe about him and his attitude. Don't take to heart what he said. Forget his cruel comments, they are just a reflection of his own insecurity and bad attitude, they are not a reflection of you. & & 2006-05-04 10:14:23
291 1569 Canis Lupess knows what she is talking about! :) 2006-05-04 19:41:27
291 1570 here's a secret: when a guy takes 45 minutes to orgasm, 99% of the time it isn't the woman's fault. most likely he had erectile or self esteem issues and could only get off by taking it out on you. most guys only wish they could last for ten minutes (and I mean 10 minutes of really vigorous sex without breaks). most guys are just happy to be getting anything, they aren't gonna complain that they aren't getting marathon sex. as for the oral sex... if your husband doesn't like it and you aren't interested, then ignore the pessimists. a marriage isn't going to break up over NOT doing something both people hate to do. It's being pressured into doing those things that will break up the marriage. 2006-05-05 01:38:34
291 1571 There, you got three unbiased opinions from different peoples& all supporting you. 2 female ones and a male one too so you got opinions from both sexes here. Now, stop worrying, start enjoying yourself again and don't take for gospel all these negative comments that come your way from other jealous individuals. Keep your sex life between you and your husband rather than discussing it with all and sundry who might then come out with these types of comments. You need to find the right group of people to be able to discuss things like this with such as us in here. The people you've told already are obviously too immature and clueless about sexuality for you to get any decent advice or information from so don't bother talking about it with them. Choose your sex talk friends very carefully because there are a lot of shallow clueless idiots out there who shouldn't even be engaging in sexual acts, nevermind talking about their sexploits. 2006-05-05 09:48:58
291 1572 It sounds to me like you're getting hung-up over things& that have been said to you by some VERY immature people... i.e your ex and your so called 'friends'.& I'm guessing that your ex was pretty young?& A true man doesn't say/do& those kind of things to the person he loves. To an experienced man, the things you describe& can be& a big turn-on. (getting very wet and noisy and coming so quickly at his touch - that's such an ego boost!) And...if your present/future lovers take 45mins or longer to climax, don't think too deeply about it - obviously, some men have their reasons why it takes them so long, but I have to say that when in a loving relationship, a man can last a LOT longer than that. Anyway, I'm so glad you've found a decent understanding man and good luck to you! & 2006-05-05 22:07:52
291 1573 [user=512]bushman[/user] wrote: " And...if your present/future lovers take 45mins or longer to climax, don't think too deeply about it - obviously, some men have their reasons why it takes them so long, but I have to say that when in a loving relationship, a man can last a LOT longer than that. " I don't think the implication here is that he had a lot of stamina. yes, if you pace yourself, sex can last for hours, but it sounds like he NEEDED the 45 minutes, and no healthy, young male requires that much stimulation. clearly there was a physical and/or mental impediment on his part. 2006-05-06 08:47:46
291 1575 WOW :shock: am actually schocked a man would consider a woman too noisy and "too wet?" Please don't dwell on what your first bf said bec this the wierdest thing i've heard, that guy must've had issues. Most men I know (boyfriends and friends) LOVE a woman who is wet and they live for the noises she makes during sex!!! People who are making porn for instance know what they're marketing and they wouldn't use loud wet women unless it was really attractive to men. 2006-05-06 09:16:23
291 1576 I don't think anythng is wrong with it. Usually I hear the guy doesn't last long. They usually say they will go slow if you let them in your vagina, but then when you let them in they come very fast. It is wonderful that you cum so fast. I've heard that when a woman comes, he usually comes because it feels so exciting. However, that is assuming she orgasms first, which I don't find happens often. I believe it is also wonderful he comes alot slower, because then you can get into it, like wiggle your hips around, talk naughty and flex your vagina without needing to worry that you will send him over the edge Melissa 2006-05-07 21:22:35
291 1578 I've been unable to reply for the past few days due to a sprain but I have been reading everyone's replies. I've decided to stop worrying so much about my first boyfriend.& And I've also decided to be more careful about who I talk to about sex.& When my husband and I have sex it lasts for about 5 minutes on average and we are both satisfied with it.& My first boyfriend and I were together from the ages 14-16.& He had experienced nothing sexually before the relationship while all I had done was be kissed by couple of people.& We both knew almost nothing about sex and spent months sexually experimenting with each other before having sex itself.& When we become fairly practiced at sex we spent a year having sex at every opportunity, which could vary from 1-4 times a week.& But the first three times we had sex he couldn't orgasm at all and not even when he masturbated after.& At the fourth time he orgasmed because after 20 minutes I fell asleep from exhaustion.& After a while he got the internet.& He began looking a porn that he wasn't supposed to be looking at.& He'd sometimes stay awake all night looking at it and as a result miss school the next day.& I'm fairly sure some of the porn he was looking at wasn't legal because it involved men with children and women with animals.& He got completely misguided by it and one day asked me if I got turned on by horses.& And when I said no he told me that it meant there was something wrong with me because he thought that because such porn existed that all women were attracted to horses.& A month later he was forced to stop his addiction to the internet when his parents received a $400 internet bill.& Unfortunately for me he had been getting inspiration from some of the porn.& I was forced to do sexual acts from his new fantasies no matter how much I cried.& He didn't even care when I got injured or wounded.& I did start to fight back when he tried to strangle me to death.& I started shouting at him and hit him.& There were 2 other times I hit him, one was because he stole all my money and the other was because he slapped his mum. I was relieved when that relationship ended.& He told him that I'd never go back to him, he didn't take me seriously until I proved him wrong.& Towards the end of the relationship he became suicidal and started attempting suicide.& He told me he found dying pleasurable.& During the relationship I had developed a stutter and when it had ended I stopped almost all social contact with people for about a year and a half.& Sometimes I would go a week or two without speaking at all.& It was during this time that I met my husband.& I met up with the person who became my husband a 2nd time by chance.& He opened a door for me and I had never known any guy that was polite enough to do that.& My relationship with him started and I began making friends with people again.& After being together for 8 months we got married and my stutter started going away. Sorry about the long post.& I just thought that maybe a little more info was needed. 2006-05-09 05:06:40
291 1580 Well, I'm glad you got away from him. Being as he was your first sexual partner, you were basing all of the basis of sexuality on what he reckoned it was supposed to be. He had a twisted and warped sense of what sexuality should be. He sounded seriously sick in the head. Looking at porn that involves children is definitely illegal and he could have been banged up for that had he been found out by the police. He could've gotten ever more dangerous so you were wise to get out of there. & 2006-05-09 12:16:51
291 1581 did the counselling you mentioned deal with anything in the last post? because if it didn't, you might want to seek some more counselling. your first was about as bad as they come, and if he had been an adult when he was doing what he was doing to you he could have got a good 20 years in jail for what he did. that kind of abuse can really ruin your perspective on just about everything in life. 2006-05-09 13:26:41
291 2019 i am a 17 year old male i say if some1 calls you fat it doesn't matter its just more of you to love, I've been called alot of nasty things its not what other ppl think of you its what you think of yourself:D,& but you know sticks and stones 2006-07-22 17:03:20
291 2020 People like him give all us guys a bad reputationX-( and are sick and demented[-( i'm glad you found some1 that actualy cares for you and makes you happy:-D 2006-07-22 17:14:48
291 2057 I don't have a lot of advice on this but& I have seen on adult store sites cream for women that prolongs getting an orgasm. You can always try that. 2006-07-24 19:32:55
291 2179 Why an& angel is made to feel herself like an evil?Why& & beutiful swan is laughed at by ugly ducks?If a tree is taller than any other tree of the forest ,then it must be the first to be deotryed by the wind.All because of jealousy an ignorance.You must know that you are a rare pearl,the one that is unfortunate is not you but the one who lost you or even tossed& away you. 2006-07-29 13:42:50
293 1583 I have noticed that most of the people on here are younger than I am. I am a 46 year old female. However, I still masturbate on a regular basis. I started after my divorce and have realized that no one can please my vagina like I can. I was just wondering if there are any women my age out there that feel the same. 2006-05-10 18:05:09
293 1584 Hi Jane...of course there are many and& I'm one of those lol, and agree with you nobody like oneself to give pleasure..a sextherapist (female ) keeps saying that sex is born with us and die the day we die and I agree, it is something so intimate and personal...by the way I'm 58 ..love and good luck Luisa 2006-05-10 19:01:57
293 1590 :( Hi Jenn and Luisa;& & Amazing:& There is someone older than 16 on this site.& I agree with you that most of the people on this website are much younger than us. & I find it fascinating to read about the problems I lived through many years ago, and some that are new.& lol & I developed my masturbating skills after my prostate surgery, because I was unable to get an erection until I changed Urologists and my new Urologist prescribed the Caverject injection.& If you read my comments under surviving cancer, you can see that I have to inject myself to get an erection.& Sometimes I don’t feel like injecting myself and therefore masturbate by myself. & I am a 75 year old male, and I have re-kindled the joys of masturbating.& I still like sex with a woman, but find I masturbate more now than I ever did. & & Maybe not more than when I was a teenager.& & Isn’t it fascinating to read and re-live the great moments of our youth when it was all new and delightfully exciting?& Maybe we should start an over 40 group to re-live the past and to share the exciting future of mature sex. & Jumper & 2006-05-13 09:18:15
293 1932 Hello Jenn, Just go with the flow ... I know that I masterbate far more often now than I did before. I had started when I was five years old and never stop. Even after a hubby and two kids I always found the time to masterbate; but, I am a little bit younger than you 41, I want you to know I have found masterbating has been better each year I got older. 2006-07-12 19:05:17
293 1970 I fully agree. Masterbating is so much more fullfilling (no pun intrended). I've been masterbating since I was 3. I do enjoy intercourse too. I find masterbation so much more enjoyable, I can dream and fantasize. I would never practice these fantasies in real life. I can fully control orgasm, making it longer lasting and experiment with all parts of my genitals. I really believe that every body should learn how to masterbate. It is not only for a quick sexual relief with orgasm, but I really believe that if you don't know your own body how can you offer it to any one else to enjoy with you. 2006-07-17 06:47:42
293 1990 you know, i have masturbated over the years but recently it has become a little over the top. my husband and i have sex about once a day and i usually masturbate before, during and after (he loves it!) -- then maybe once to three or four times a day alone. i just started taking "synthroid" for hypothryroidism and& it has been like a miracle to rejuvenate my sex life. i had gotten so tired and fatigued that i had next to no libido most of the time and my husband and i had probably had sex only about 10 times a year in the past 3 years. i'm 41 and had a total hysterectomy with lots of complications in 2001 and have just now gotten things back on track physically and sexually. i drive long distances almost daily for work and find that i am fantasizing about sex a lot of the time i'm on the road. have even had to pull over and masturbate myself to orgasm...imagine how ready i am to share this with said spouse! he is 60 and says he is having a tough time keeping up with me, but he can't prove it by his performance and ability to acquire an erection>:)& whenever i let him know i'd be fond of such a gift. sometimes, though, i've noticed that he lasts a lot longer than he used to and occasionally he is unable to ejaculate, or has to pull out and masturbate on my breasts or against my lips in order to come. i ask if i'm doing anything wrong and he says he's just "old" -- is this something that is normal for men who are 60-ish? should i be worried or just let it happen anyway it works best for him? that's what i normally do -- but, of course, i really ENJOY watching him beat off and encourage it, so i don't know if i should be more concerned and less enthusiastic if this is a prostate issue? thanks for any suggestions, comments! hottie 2006-07-18 10:54:22
293 1999 Isn't it wonderfull to experience fantasies at the touch of a finger. It is good to hear others who need to 'live' the urge. i drive long distances almost daily for work and find that i am fantasizing about sex a lot of the time i'm on the road. have even had to pull over and masturbate myself to orgasm. I remember those good old days too. I used to drive for hours when I was younger all around the country and have regular pull over stops. I wouldn't be concerned about your partner's lack of total orgasm. I had to find a way of not being to 'quick', in my younger days, to give longer more penatrating sex. Now I rarely ejaculate at all, I'm 52, I prefer not to ejaculate as it gives a much longer lasting experience that is really enjoyable and enables me to masturbate more frequently. Ejaculation is an incredible experience unlike any other feeling imaginable but, it is all over in a split second and I find the second cumming isn't anywhere near& as fullfilling. Certainley enjoy each other but don't be disappointed in another persons performance. When I masterbate now I don't 'beat off' always. I had a partner who was a masseuse show me how to squeaze my shaft and give a very long satisfying masterbation without any liklehood of ejaculation. She had stronger fingers than I so I practice by memory. I know mutual orgasm is a wonderful experience however, I've found now that my partner doesn't have a strong orgasm as in the past nor does she want me 'in' for more than a few minutes so I have learnt to enjoy my masterbation more fully. I often have the most rewarding masterbation in private this is when I really do fantasize. 2006-07-19 19:25:18
293 2002 Hot..... I do not know what is normal, but I know that at 75, it takes longer to orgasm, and since my prostate surgery many years ago no longer ejaculate when I orgasm.& Sounds like you husband and you are having a great sex life, and things will definitly slow down as you et older.& However, I find that I am able to take advantage of the time delays by having more time to play before having an orgasm and calling it quits.& Keep at it and enjoy. 2006-07-20 07:25:15
293 2073 when my husband doesn't ejaculate we usually go again and it's always enjoyable. we had a really hot weekend >:)& and did some shopping for sex toys to add to the collection. i woke him early sunday a.m. and masturbated for him for a good long time and it drove him nuts seeing me ride my vibrator and love myself...probably some of the most erotic sex we have had together in ages...he was so turned on by the time i started sucking him...i was still going on my vibrator and i brought him near the edge and then backed away and brought myself off several more times, then sucked him nearly to orgasm twice more till he was too hot not to start ramming me himself...we spent hours -- most of it was focused on my masturbating for him and sucking him to the edge over and over -- he is really enjoying this renewed libido!!! i am loving it, too, of course! & i still have to go at it on my own a few times a day and am chasing him around the house :P hot-hot-hot& 2006-07-25 19:54:20
293 2151 ;)& I have to say, "way to go girl" but remember to keep some of your private time ... just that private. If you only& masterbate when he is around you'll begin to think it just a show for him and it will lose the passion. Still; not to be negative ... that was a wonderful and delight note you made for the group. thanks 2006-07-27 17:43:41
293 2154 private time is in abundance every chance i get, although i do seem to hav myself in a bit of dilemma presently:shock: & (see panic post) hottie 2006-07-27 18:06:39
293 2209 :DForgive me for chuckling at your panic.& I can picture you going to the doctor and asking him to remove an object from your vagina.& It would be comparable to my going to the ER to ask them to help me reduce my erection which has lasted more than 4 hours.& When my Urologist told me that she would have to make sure I used the right amount of medicine for my injection because too much could cause an erection which would last over four hours and I would have to go to the ER to get help, I almost panicked.& the idea of asking a nurse or a doctor to draw blood from my penis becaue my erection would not subside made me laugh and then cry.& I am very careful not to inject too much.& Several times my erections have lasted over two hours, and like you I was getting a little panicky.& My record is about three hours, and I was getting ready to get dressed and go to the ER& :X& and face the embarrassment.& Can you picture it?& 2006-07-30 20:16:15
293 2211 I'm sure we wouldn't be the 1st or last to go with an "embarrassing" situation like that... I had a cousin who "forgot" a tampon and had sex with her boyfriend and ended up in the ER to have it removed and it was a very painful and humiliating ordeal for her. And I gave her lots of grief about "how could you "forget" you had a tampon in?" So I was just envisioning paybacks! Meanwhile, I 'm going to take my old self back to the old jacuzzi that saved my humility and see if I can't manage a good little round of pleasure. & hottie& 2006-07-30 21:18:41
293 2212 A friend of mine used to work as a nurse in the ER for four or five years.& He had countless stories of women coming in with all kinds of objects lodged in their vaginas.& The worst things were spherical objects that, because their diameter was both significantly less than the depth of the vagina and significantly wider than the vagina was intended to acommodate, could be pretty difficult to remove.& Things like baseballs/tennisballs, all various kinds of round fruits (citrus fruits, apples, etc), or other irregularly shaped objects that the vagina could find a strong grip on frequently made their way into the ER.& Those things are more common than you think, and as a result it doesn't really phase the nurses or doctors after a while.& Most people who go into the ER for these things are far more embarassed than the doctors and nurses that treat them. 2006-07-30 21:35:56
293 2214 Hi, At one of the public events I did locally a woman told me and her friend how she had forgotten a tampon for a couple weeks. When a foul odor developed she knew something was wrong. She said on the last day of her period she came home dead tired, jumped into bed, and simply forgot the next day that she hadn't removed it. :shock: Brad 2006-07-30 22:39:57
293 2337 Luckily for women, the large majority of us experience increasingly satisfying sex lives as we age and I'm sure this includes masturbation. I can't imagine even stopping regardless of my age (I'm 22) It's like prayer or meditation. It's just for me and ultimately it makes me a more relaxed and pleasant person to be around. For that reason alone I think if you have the ability to pleasure yourself, what could you possibly argue against it?! Women feel guilt any time they do something solely for their own enjoyment. Fuck it. I'm over it. God gave me this healthy natural way to take care of myself and I will never feel bad about it and neither should you! ;-) 2006-08-08 10:24:27
293 2340 Well, my good friend BOB (Battery-Operated Boyfriend) passed away over the weekend after the peak of a very long and lovely life. :( He came to me from Xandria Collections a number of years ago and on Saturday he went on to The Great Reward. Let it suffice to say he was my >:)FAVORITE>:) and his passing was quite sudden and very traumatic, as he left me before I was done with him. :(& I don't think you could say he died of a broken heart, but somehow, his overzealous partner just wore him out? Nothing new batteries could replace. (some internal mechanism came loose and who do I know who works on such items??)& I'm not sure but I think he came with a money-back guarantee...but I know I never thought to save the receipt after our initial introductions and the following relationship& went so well. Now I'm sorta wondering if my husband's protestations that HE is too old for all of the activity he's been faced with lately might have some validity. After all, I did kill BOB. And he was such a good Battery-Operated Boyfriend!! I will have to find a new BOB that is as exciting as the old one...I have others but GOSH, he was my very favorite! I'm off to the online mall to shop for a new Boyfriend :-) May BOB rest in peace. He was certainly very dear to me!:P >:)& Hottie 2006-08-08 14:08:15
293 2345 ;)& Well .... let's have a moment of silence for all the good ole "BOBS" that have past on to greater heeps. I do feel that a "moment of silence" is truly important at this moment of your live. My God bless Bob ... and all the Bobs that have past on before now and those that will past on now. Still, trust me, I know the value of a good "bob" Again my friend you have my blessing :)& 2006-08-09 14:51:56
293 2346 Yeah, ol' BOB was a good one! 2006-08-09 14:55:20
293 2426 Hi Jen, I think it's beautifull that you are so relaxed with your own body. However masturbation is still one of the great taboos of our society and is seldom talked about in mixed company anyway. I firmly beleive that because most men are unable, through lack of knowledge of female anatomy, or just plain unwilling to take time with a woman,& is probably the reason a lot of married woman masturbate. Whilst I understand that& masturbation is a separate& aspect of sexual fulfillment, I can't & help feeling that men's ignorance is a contributory factor. Sexual fantasy plays an important part in masturbation and is a way for a woman to express those feelings that either& she or society in general would not see as being acceptable, for example& bisexuality or latent lesbianism. I read somewhere that someone once said that "in masturbation you meet a better class of woman/man" In other words you create the fantasy exactly how you want it to be. My lover is quite open about her fantasy of making love with another woman.& Although she says it is something that is unlikely to ever happen, mainly because of her strict 1950's upbringing which won't let her actually& express some of her slightly unconventional desires. Chris& & 2006-08-21 06:42:48
293 2515 I'm also in my 40s and masturbating is all I've had for a while now. Next boyfriend I snag, though is in for a treat. After reading here about how much guys love to watch, I'd like& to try pleasuring myself for his benefit. >:) 2006-08-29 19:06:30
293 2521 That will be one lucky guy. Believe me you can't go wrong showing him how your pleasure yourself. He will then know how to do it for you. Be lucky& & 2006-08-30 07:11:53
293 3922 I was interested in your age my wife and I are in our 70s and both get a lot of enjoyment out of mutual masturbation and oral sex I wonder if there are meany other couples of our age enjoying mutual masturbation? 2007-03-24 11:01:53
294 1595 hello everyone, This is my first post :) About a year ago I met a very special girl(she's 22, im 21). Her previous boyfriend dumped her without saying a word. He found another girlfriend. She described it as being replaced for a better model. like a new car or something>< (We talked a good bit about our experiences).This broke her heart and from that time she is very uncertain of her attractiveness. She is not shy of having sex, infact she is very eager:) She& does not like her own body though. I love her a lot and am protective and delicate so I have patiently accepted having sex so far only with the lights off. I don;t mind it but I really love seeing every detail of her body and also seeing myself penetrate her. It is a real turn-on for me. I have talked with her about it and she said she needs time and that I should try to convince her not to be ashamed of her body. I agreed and have spent a good while convincing her that I find her VERY attractive. I tried poetically describing her beauty and aslo tried being more blunt i.e showing her the kind of erection I get when seeing her. It cannot be any more obvious that I literally drool when seeing her. She is everything I like: she is slim, quite tall, brown her, nice face, long legs(i love those;),flat stomach,decent brests........she is sexy...so why all this uncertainty? Another thing that did not help is the small..hmm...'accident' I had when we spent a few days at my parents house. While playing chess together on a rainy day and both being in a naughty mood.She gave this playful/sinful look that gets me going everytime;)& we ran down to the basement to have some fun. I was thrilled at first but then fear caught up.....my parents are quite conservative and the thought of being caught in the act sent shivers down my spine......I got her ready through some nice foreplay and then spent ages looking for a condom, the thoughts of my parents in my mind all the time..........that resulted in me losing my erection and quite and embarrasment for me>< It was quite a funny thing really, I even stumbled over the table while looking for the condom on it(it was dark)but she took it REALLY seriously and blamed herself for not being able to turn me on enough. I want to get this idea out of her head, it is so untrue and it hurts me a lot that she thinks she's inadequate or something:( She is a complex person, but this only makes her more interesting and beautiful in my eyes. She is everything to me and I want her to feel like that too. I would& appreciate if some of the women in this discussion group shared how they feel about their bodies so that I may better understand. Any tips on confidence building techniques?How should I talk about things like this? For example: If you noticed you gained a few pounds and your bum got a bit fat how would I as your boyfriend/husband convince you that your bum is the nicest in the world? & & & & & & & 2006-05-13 19:56:34
294 1600 Well, I have low self-esteem and know how it is. I have a decent figure too. Slim but curvy. I know I should feel lucky but I still feel self conscious and no amount of compliments seems to make a damned bit of difference. Insults, however, it only takes one to ruin you forever. It is very frustrating but the& information& trapped in your subconscious has this way of controlling you consciously without you even being able to figure out consciously why you are reacting in that way. The trick is to learn how to retrieve these underlying thoughts and combat them. Not easy!! I have added problems such as vaginismus and compulsive skin picking. I'm in therapy for the first and will be going into another therapy for the second so, yes, I am a true fruitcake but I suppose all of this is teaching me a lot. Maybe some counselling might do your GF a bit of good. Cognitive behavioural therapy might help her to start absorbing the compliments more, stop being negatively biased towards herself by looking at the true facts& and evidence that suggests otherwise to her own biased opinions.& I have a book called 'overcoming low self-esteem', by Melanie Fennell. It uses a CBT approach and, after reading half of it, it does make a lot of sense and I can see it having a good chance of being effective, even on me. It might help your GF a lot with some actual therapy to go along with it. It was my therapist that told me about it. You can get the book from Amazon.com but I got it even cheaper, brand new, off ebay. I'm in the UK but if you are somewhere else, I'm sure you still might be able to obtain this book. It was the U.S Amazon site I saw the book on originally. I know a girl who was dumped a few months ago and she took the same attitude as your GF. Thinking it was because she is too ugly and such. She obsesses over her skin which goes red and burns and, which I'm sure, happens because she's stressed. She is also nice and slim, fairly tall, nice face and such. She is now in the grips of depression and is also in therapy. The lad that dumped her sounds like such an idiot...immature...I've seen photos of him and he's nothing even special to look at. I don't think he knows what he wants but he likes to mess with her head and manipulate her. She calls him ego as a nickname and thats what it's all about for him. Having his ego stroked by making people want him but messing them about. If she ignores him, he'll whinge and whine for attention, have a go at her as to why she is ignoring him and put a guilt trip on her& and when she pays him attention, he throws it back in her face. I'm sure it would be all too easy to get frustrated yourself because you can't convince her of the good things you say but, no matter how long it seems to take, don't ever get angry or show you are getting fed up because this will ruin her completely and, if she made any progress at all, no matter how tiny, it will send her straight back into the depths again and she'll have much much more difficulty ever getting out. It would reinforce her current negative thoughts about herself. I suspect your GF already had an element of low self confidence before the previous split and that her ex's action of leaving her for somebody else only reinforced her negative beliefs about herself. About the lights thing. Maybe suggest having low light such as a dim lamp or something like that at first. Such light often compliments skin& and any percieved flaws are less likely to show up in it so she might agree. Sorry I can't be of more help but I'm stuck with all these issues myself and if I knew all the answers, I wouldn't have these problems. Thought it might just be helpful to read more about things from our perspective because I, as& a stranger,& might explain things to you easier than what your GF might feel comfortable explaining. 2006-05-14 07:01:23
294 1601 I went through the "I am so ugly why would anyone want me' phase too. But got over it and your girlfriend will as well. The thing is it does not matter how many times you tell her she is gorgeous sexy and beautiful if she refuses to accept this for herself. In today's society we are surrounded by the advertising world's warped view of 'beauty' and images of 'sexual women' everywhere. All over the place there are thin perfect looking plastic women just waiting to show us all how much we 'need' or 'must have' the products they advertise. Then there is porn and man's love of porn and all things sexual. How can we possibly compete? Subconsciously we soak up all of these images daily, hourly even. On TV, advertising boards, newspapers and magazines - they are everywhere. We then get undressed and heaven forbid we see ourselves in the mirror. What the hell is that? Why would anyone in their right mind want that? we might think when standing there looking at ourselves. For me, coming to terms with the fact that me as an average woman and a mother can be attractive and sexy was hard. It took something quite simple in the end though. Finding pleasures in the other areas of my life that pleased me first and those around me second worked wonders. Once I got some much needed confidence up within myself I started to feel different. Achievement was really amazing. Personal fulfilment made me feel more complete and gave me a lot more confidence with my body image as well. When people smile around you because of something you have said or done really is uplifting. Once I had confidence and was achieving what I wanted in all the other areas of my life I could look at my sex life. I had a partner at that time who's face used to light up like a christmas tree each time he saw me dressed, naked was quite something else. So I asked him to take a picture of what he could see. I was convinced that he was mad, putting it on and was just after amazing sex and that was what the look was for. So we arranged a day when he would take the pictures to show me myself in his eyes but we agreed not to have sex this time. Once I saw the photographs it was an enlightening experience. I felt great! Seeing myself through his eyes gave me a whole new perspective on myself. The ugliness was lifted and although I get pangs of it from time to time I am happy to say that it was gone for good now. I am not for one moment suggesting that your girlfriend is ready for anything as radical as that because I worked hard on all the other areas in my life first before building self confidence and self image. I got into choosing clothes and styling myself how I felt proud first. I was abused as a child both sexually and emotionally. I had really terrible self image issues because I believed strongly that sex was a way of gaining attention and affection. OK this was an inward belief but a deep rooted one all the same. I was always told that I was not all that pretty, I am ugly and useless. There was only one thing I was good for and boy did I learn how to be 'good' at that over the years. That was my power that was my affection food chain and I used it, used it well back then. What takes years to be engraved in your mind takes ages or sometimes just as long to remove. Sure we can gloss over it as many times as we care to but it wont be erased the engravings will still be there. Your girlfriend needs to know that you find her attractive with her clothes on not for her body but for her mind first. Work on all the other areas in her life with her. Image, work, being happy, living, food, nature and anything that is important to her. For me it was music. I learned to play the sax in public. That was an amazing confidence booster. I was really turned on by it. Still am :) I hope some of all of this makes sense for you and sorry it was a bit long. You can go on beating yourself up and trying to convince her that she is gorgeous but until she actually feels that for herself you are fighting a loosing battle. Make all the other areas in her life special and leave the sexual things till last. She will initiate that herself. Princess 2006-05-14 07:21:21
294 1602 I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 20. My body has always been on the fuller side. In some cases people would call me pudgy. I used to be very insecure about my body too until I was able to learn how to love my body and appreciate what I could do for myself. I learned how to love my body with the way it is. I feel that I truly can't love someone if I don't love myself first. My boyfriend makes me feel beautiful everyday I see him. He's always touching me in some way to show me his affection. He says he loves me the way I am. Since I've been dating my boyfriend, I've always felt confident. Also, my boyfriend is my first. I don't know what I'd do if my bf dumped me and found some girl I thought was better than me. But since we're all different, we all react differently to many things. Your girlfriend still just might need some time. Have you both ever tried lighting candles? The room can still be dark but you can still see things with candle light. Plus, I think it would be really romantic. Just try not to be forceful about turning lights on because it will probably just make her not want to do it even more. 2006-05-14 17:24:10
294 1614 Canis, You are an amazing young lady.& The comments you make show an understanding and empathy that very few people have the ability to show. Although& I am probably much older than you, I would be honored to know you better.& I have read several of your comments and they all show a depth of feeling that I find very admirable.& My handle "Jumper 1950" refers to the fact that I was& a paratrooper during the Korean war and jumped into North Korea in 1950 and spent 11 months in combat.& As I have matured and grown older I& appreciate the fact that I survived.& I also increasingly feel very sad for my comrads who did not make it.& I am therefore very sensitive to the warmth and sympathy that you show in your comments.& Jumper & 2006-05-15 20:10:29
294 1615 If she doesn't believe for herself, it'll hardly matter how many times you repeat to her she's beautiful. If I feel I look like crap, even if I notice men 'checking' me out or my bf very interested in sex, in the end I still feel I look like crap. HOWEVER, sometimes showing a woman she's sexy instead of telling her might work: Since puberty hit, I always thought my butt is big and too round especially that my waist is a bit small (a good thing I know) it made it look even bigger. Well, my bf developed an obsession about it and would focus alot on it during sex, which sometimes I found annoying (I'd say there's the rest of me you know). Well, after a while i stopped thinking it is too big and now I actually like it!!!! Perhaps the problem is, I think we girls on some level believe that all men say things to us because they want sex. No, our logical brain knows that is not always true (like in your case), but the illogical part is tough to suppress and takes alot of effort. About the light thing, I agree, 'seeing' the sex is a huge turn on. Suggest a compromise, sort of meeting in the middle between darkness and full light: some really soft light that is not so harsh on body faults. 2006-05-16 07:29:47
294 1645 Thanks a lot everyone. You were most helpful. I learnt somethings from your posts and also strengthened by belief that I know what I should do. @ caniss lupess: I am a very patient person. I waited a year when I was doing my masters degree so that we can be together, stayed away from girls and abstained from sex. When I came back I was naturally very eager and perhaps a bit irritated over this but I never let it show. I am more irritated with myself for not being able to help her. Failure is something I don't believe in;) I value her well being more than my own so if I must I will just give her time and do things her way until she feels better about herself. About the therapy thing: no no no. There is no way I could say that without making her feel even worse about herself. Thanks for the long and informative reply. Much appreciated. @Ladybug: I see. She likes a romantic atmosphere so candles could be great. Seeing something but not everything can be even more exciting. THanks for the tip! @Kay: I think you are right in a way. Many women do believe that men say things because they want sex. To be honest with you, this is true sometimes but only when they met a new girl. Once we have a girlfriend it isnt necessary is it?though giving complements does help;) Another thing is that she probably believes I say nice things just to make her feel good and that thoes compliments are probably untrue:( Men are much simpler;) I told my girlfriend that if she wants sex or wants me to pleasure her, just do it, don't ask if you can. I will never refuse;) @princess: 'We then get undressed and heaven forbid we see ourselves in the mirror. What the hell is that? Why would anyone in their right mind want that? we might think when standing there looking at ourselves.' this is wrong, you see. By the very fact that I am her boyfriend, that I want to have sex with her means that she already MUST have passed my screening process. This is how most men work: when we see a new woman, we analyse her. Looks FIRST. then the rest. Once she passes the looks test(doesn't have to be 100/100, just a pass is enough;) then we look at things like personality, intelligence, humour etc..So if I show an interest, If I love her, if I desire her then that MUST mean I find her atractive, very attractive even! Everybody has the right to be concerned about their body and desire improvement. I do too. I do body building and am very aware of my body and have my pet peeves, like having too large thighs for example but I dont get depressed about it. That is not the way to go. The pictures thing was a great idea. Must have been very arousing;) She knows very well that I value her other virtues a lot. Being intelligent, motivated and hard working(I respect that), being sensual, caring, passionate, showing her feelings, being very open, natural, her style etc. I tell her I;m proud of her etc and she accepts that i,e she believes it. It's just her looks she doesn;t believe in. I can desire a woman for her looks only but never love one. That requires her being something special. I tell her that I am blown away by the intensity of her feelings, by how much she loves me, that it makes me feel special and wanted. It makes me a happy and complete man. Your post wasn't too long. I appreciate it a lot. You gave me some ideas and provoked some thinking. Thanks In conclusion: I will still try convincing her that she is attractive. I will not push the issue at all though, just give her time and be caring and delicate. About the lights: I will try out candles and some soft light. Maybe just let it be for the moment, then try some soft light etc. My own desires can wait. we will work things out, Im sure. D 2006-05-18 10:32:47
295 1607 A few months ago, I first began to notice my daughter (7months old at that time), regularly wiggling forwards and backwards in her car seat whenever she was sitting in it. I didn't think anything of it right aways, but once when I was driving somewhere for a longer distance, I heard her breathing get louder, I noticed her face was really red and that she was sweating and looked like she felt really hot. Then I noticed that she was wiggling in her car seat at an accelerated speed and that it was against this divider that was between her legs. Then she calmed down and stopped for a few minutes, only to continue on with the activity a few minutes later. I finally knew why she liked sitting in the car seat so much. If her bahavior stayed with the car seat, I probably wouldn't be so concerned today. But, now whenever she is in her high chair she does the same thing. Sometimes, she is rocking forwards and backwards in the high chair between the divider, or she straddles it and just wiggles, and squirms all over the place. When I place her in the high chair now, she doesn't want to eat anything until she is finished. Sometimes she is going so aggressively that I am worried the high chair might fall down and that she might get hurt. Now she is eleven months only, but whenever she is sitting down in a car seat, high chair, and even shopping carts now she is doing this. Sometimes she will just sit on the floor with a table leg or something else between her. Last night, I heard some noise coming from her crib. I was worried that she was sick or was hurt, but she was just sitting up on a pillow inside her crib and doing her rocking thing for quite a long time before going to sleep. She hasn't figured out how to use her hands or anything else yet, (thank goodness), but I'm worried that her behaviour is extremely excessive and she's so young to understand. Does anybody have any advice? 2006-05-15 09:32:47
295 1608 It is true she is too young to understand the sexual nature of masturbation but that doesn't mean she is too young to figure out that it feels good to stimulate that part of her body. She probably figured this out when she had her nappies changed and was cleaned in that area by adults. Children her age can have orgasms just like adults. The clit and nerve endings leading to it are developed. I would warn against trying to stop her unless her safety was at risk during a particular situation. Also, as she gets older, never make her feel ashamed of this or tell her off for it because this could cause sexual problems later in life. It will make her feel ashamed of her body and will condition her so deeply that she might develop an aversion to her own genitals as an adult. Something I have had to fight myself. There are many women don't like touching their own genitals because they view them as dirty and disgusting and touching them is dirty and wrong. It is wrong to make children believe this and very unfair. I also ended up with an aversion to sex in general and vaginismus as a result of the ways that society tries to protect children from sex. Rather than help me, it just caused me a whole load of problems and it didn't stop half the girls& I went to school with from going out and having sex underage and getting pregnant whilst at school etc... She should just be taught that such things need to be kept more private, they are not for public viewing. You don't need to imform her of the sexual nature of it at an early age, she only needs to know it feels good to rub it,& but when she is old enough to start learning about sex, she should be taught about sexuality, not just the reproductive mechanics of it and imformed about her clitoris and such. She needs to know that her masturbation is normal but that it needs to be kept private, not done in front of all and sundry. If you read in the actual clit.com site about a childs sexual development, a lot will be explained to you in there. It seems children would all naturally engage in this and would start doing it with other children as they got older if they were left to it and not stopped by the adults in their lives. I've even seen& youngsters of other species do it including young primates and even pups. I've bred dogs and seen them playing only for a male pup to get rolled on his back where his penis is in full view and, at first, the other pup might bite it as something noticeable sticking up in the middle of the belly& but then they will quickly stop biting& and start licking it instead and the male pup who was, before, fighting to get up& just lays there and enjoys himself. Quite amusing to see but then you realise they are actually engaging in a form of mutual masturbation. As it is with our society, we stop them thinking it is abnormal then they grow up being deprived of their normal sexual development, a vital development which would prepare them for when they do become an adult and start engaing in partner sex. This masturbation won't make them go out and start having sex too early and neither will stopping them do it stop them from going out and having sex too early.& Stopping them& just means they are more likely to go out and have sex with little knowledge or preperation. Teaching a healthy attitude towards sexuality will more likely bring about a young adult who's would understand the benefits of waiting longer before having sex than the other way around and at least they'll know and be comfortable with their own body when that happens and more likely have a more mature attitude towards sex and sexuality. Hope this helps. 2006-05-15 10:42:15
295 1609 Hi this is just an idea I had when I read your post - but - she could be alergic to either a type of material she is wearing or the detergent used to wash her clothing and was itching to begin with when she first started this rocking movement backwards and forwards and has noticed how good this type of movement can feel not only for relieving itching or burning skin but also for masturbation reasons which obviously she does not know about yet. I have five children and in my experience it usually is something simple at that young age and once you find out what it is the child stops after a while doing what ever it is as they are too young to keep it going and forget about it. I would assess the type of clothing that she wears close to her inner thighs, creams used on her bottom and also check out if she has worms as sometimes a toddler can have worms with no symptoms whatsoever other than rocking backwards and forwards in the way you describe she does. Check the detergent used to wash her clothes, soap used in the bath or bubble baths etc, even shampoo. If you live in a hard water area you may need to get water softeners put into your main water tank so that the bath water and feed to the washing machine is softer. Do you have lead pipes in your house? This can cause this behaviour as well. There are just so many things and it will be an illimation process till you find something that stops her doing it. But I am fairly confident given her young age that it is something that started bothering her skin in the first instance rather than a sexual problem and she will be fine once you discover what it is. 2006-05-15 14:04:55
295 1612 Angeline ..Lupess and Princess said it all and I was about to suggest at bath time to clean very well with a cotton ball or q-tip the area around the clitoris and be sure there is no smegma anywhere that can cause irritation and also check her vagina for any sign of irritation and besides that there is no much you can do but be vigilant that she won't hurt herself with any object. Maybe taking a bath with her will calm her a little. While mastrubation is normal in girls and boys the excess is worrysome, if htis continue take her to the doctor to eliminate any posibility of irritation in the vulva. Good luck Luisa 2006-05-15 19:28:47
295 1618 Yeah, remember not to use soap on her vulva like my mother used to with me.:? Not good. It's a self cleaning area and using soap or anything other than clear water can kill the good bacteria and bring about infections. & Be sure to let us know if you find anything out.:) 2006-05-16 09:59:29
295 1642 disturbing...call me old fashioned or whatever but I wouldn't let that develop into a compulsive/obsessive behaviour. She is too young to understand it yet and too young to talk to her about it too. I would control that for the time being until you can talk about it. my 2 cents 2006-05-18 09:12:04
295 1643 I'd be more worried about "hard-wiring" it into her brain that touching herself there is "bad" which could result in a lot of problems later. Too many of us face that already. My suggestion, did you try wrapping a towel or a piece of cloth around the divider so as to make it bulky and soft, hence harder to stradle. That might not stop her from it but at least she would be less likely to injure herself. One woman, her young daughter (barely a toddler) started in the supermarket to lift her skirt and try to take off her underwear to play with herself. What the woman did was very impressive... instead of scolding her or physically stopping her, she picked up a package from a shelf and told the daughter she has to keep this thing safe for mommy and not drop it! Clever way to distract the young girl. I suppose with a younger baby, it would be harder. 2006-05-18 09:29:25
295 1650 Daniel. Yes, she is too young to understand it, she doesn't understand it. Just because she does it, that doesn't means she understands it or even has to. Anyone can figure out that it feels good to touch a certain part of your body without associating it with anything sexual. If it was to be discouraged, this can cause problems...like it did with me....I know full well, first hand,& what discouragement can cause, the suffering, confusion and inability to even live a normal life. I could have been saved all of this had I been allowed to follow my sexual development in a normal way. If you thought you were doing a young girl a favour by stopping her...think again!!!!! The way I have turned out is definitely not normal but it is a result of what too many people think is normal. Still, as others have mentioned, it could be some sort of allergy contributing but we are yet to find out. & 2006-05-18 15:14:26
295 1651 @canis lupess I see, you have a valid point there and some experiences that give you more insight into the matter. My point was perhaps a bit too general. Letting a youg girl explore her sexuality is fine as long as she doesn't do it in public view. She may not see it as a sexual activity but others do. At the moment it seems that she does it whenever given the opportunity. Ignoring it and showing that it is fine to masturbate infront,& text_editor.focus(); even 'on' your father is not desirable in my opinion.& I agree that parents should be open about& sex and even encourage children to explore their& sexuality but& masturbation should be a private activity,& not something strangers or family members should see as they& may find it offensive. However, the girl is still probably too young to understand concepts such as masturbation or privacy. & Something else I wondered about: it seems that girls can experience pleasure from masturbation at an early age, what about us boys? I don't recal masturbating or treating my penis as something that gives pleasure before the age of 11 or something. I do not rememer getting an erection before that age either. Can boys get an erection at a very young age?Certainly I didn't feel lust or arousal& before then which in my experience is necessary for getting a good hard-on;) Anyway, I don't want to critisize anyone's views, even though I may disagree on some points. 2006-05-18 17:13:46
295 1658 Hello Both sexes would do this but if you, like most other small children, are stopped from doing it at a very young age that you'll not remember now, it would have cut off the usual development and so stopped you from doing it in general until you reached a certain age and started becoming aware of sexual issues. I've seen young boys aged 3-4 maybe playing about with their todgers in the bath or when they just got out of the bath before& being dressed etc....Again, it is just self exploration but I've seen a little boy told off for it. He was called a dirty boy by his mother and told to get off it. What message does that convey to him about his penis? As for the masturbating in front of anyone and everyone, whilst a child is too small to understand privacy, I don't think people should& fret too much over it. If they see some toddler doing it in their pushchair or whatever, just ignore it. It doesn't have to be this shocking, offensive act that so many people insist on making it. They should understand the child is too young to know about privacy. Many children do this in front of people in& a way that the adults never figure is masturbation anyway. They just see it as a child fidgeting around. If I saw a very young child doing it, it wouldn't bother me. Failing that, you can destract the young child or toddler with something else like a toy they like or a treat during undesirable situations without bringing attention to the act you are wanting them to stop doing whilst in public view. Somebody mentioned an idea like this that a woman did with her little girl in a previous post. As for doing it on dad etc....many dads bring this about by bouncing their baby up and down on their thigh to amuse them. Once the child is old enough to understand, "You don't do that in front of other people", then they should be taught not do do it in front of other people but also know it's ok to do when they are alone or whatever. 2006-05-19 13:33:53
296 1617 A question from me regarding some strange occurences in my recent sex life... For the last couple of months I've been living with this girl that I am really fund of.& We started out as friends and I think it's reasonable to assume that I am one of the persons closest to her, and thus I know A LOT about her earlier partners, sex life etc. Ive been in long term relationsships before, and with some very articulated women also... meaning -& I know my way around a woman (Ive learned along the way, thanks to great female teachers...), and first and foremost I understand that there is NO SET WAY& which will cover& every woman,& with& the exception of communication, sensitivity and love... not in that particular order :) This have shown a good starting point for most of my earlier sexual relationships. However with this girl there is alot of different things that have me puzzled more than ever. Goes without saying that I really DO CARE about my sex-partner and this is one of the reasons that I write this topic. I want to go about this in a good way, and not just try to solve this top-down, which I will try to explain why also... I will here list some of the Physical details that Ive noted for myself... now this is really interesting and rather puzzling to me.. but she has little to no feeling in her vaginal area! This also includes her Clitoris, which& I can easily locate, and also weve talked about how it can be touched etc, since I& tend to find great differences in how this particular part works from woman to woman... to my sad surprise she has little or no sensitivity in any part of the clitoris either!!! She says that she feels pretty numb, and cant even point out if I touch her or not... however upon some gentle exploration weve performed together I have found out that she feels some pleasure when I rub her urinal opening, which she expresses is somewhat painfull in a very pleasurefull way. And this is where it gets complicated, because my girlfriend is also sexually active in the sense that she gets aroused and gets craving from time to time also (rather rarely). She comes to me when she does and we have sex, or rather makes love (Ive tried mixing a little rougher sex into the whole thing because I was unsure if that was what she was missing - it was almost DEFINATELY NOT). After these seances (the lovemaking, not the rough), she tells me that she feels fullfilled afterwards. What is so complicated about this you might think ... the& strange part is that& it seems like this sexuality has nothing to do with me, and it doesnt appear as if she is actually active in this herself either. It just so happends that she sometime feel the lust to have sex, which is not something that I complain about at all... I am not such a man that thinks initiative should come from the& man alone or something old fashion stuff like that. But herein lies the pain: There is no way that I can contribute to ever give her any sexual lust or sexual arousal when she is not already "awake". And I of course dont just mean sticking my hands between her legs in the evening, but really long preparations of all sorts ranging from gentle touch (which she seems to enjoy substantially), massage of the body, kissing all parts of her gently and just doing all the nice kind of foreplay throughout the whole day that I think is nice, and usually gives a lovely payback for both parties later... Its just - IT DOESNT WORK. If she is not in the mood, nothing will give her the lust to sex. She doesnt feel much from oral sex. I can touch her g-spot, which she likes. However, if her vagina isnt "in the mood" when we start, nothing will happend. (I know how to penetrate a vagina without hurting it with my finger(s), and weve talked about it some also, because, I wasnt sure how to go about this - I mean,& with other girls ive been able to arouse them by touching their body, caressing their outer vagina (some could come from this easily) and would usually wait until the vagina& where more than ready for the actual intercourse part, to make sure it was right). It truly saddens me that I cant seem to do anything right, because, I know that its normal not to "swing" in the same sexual rythm, but I tend to hope that these thing will eventually add up. I mean, SHE can easily turn me on, whenever she wants to, because I really love her and adore her. I could easily adapt to her being more active than me, however I feel unsure if the opposite will be the case ... ever! Her former love life was rather active, which at first made me assume that she was very sexually challenging, however she claims that it didnt emanate from lust as much as from her own expectations to her sexuality.& She never had an orgasm. Not with anyone, let alone herself (she has a vibrator too, that she never had much fun with. Although it is the only sort of masturbation she knowingly had.. (from what she tells me)). When I first discovered how different her sex-life with me is, from her earlier escapades, I of course got scared that it was about me in some way. That it maybe was me that couldnt turn her on. However we have the kind of relationship where we talk about everything, and she explained to me that most of the sexual relation in her former life was about what she expected her sexuality to be, not what lust she felt. Just something that one did because it was expected. Both from others and oneself... But that she quit trying to live up to such expectations and now doesnt feel she have to, now that she is with me!!! That made me proud, and it hurt me alittle as well! Understand that who can... Am I doing something wrong, and should I keep trying to work it out, or do I worsen thing when I (VERY) slowly tries to work with things. I am very carefull about not forcing me onto her, but when she either dismisses me or just stays passive, I am unsure what to do... she says that she wants to be more active, but that she cant help not feeling anything.... So do I stop or do I continue??? I dont have sexual intercourse with her unless she asks me to (And she is physical ready...), but all sorts of other things... What do you think I can do about the clitoris thing... She will& talk to& the doctor to find out if this is something clinical, when she have her next gyno-examination... but I am almost more affraid if this is something psycological. Could she' be hurting from forcing her own sexuality in the hope that it would grow when pushed??? & 2006-05-16 09:53:41
296 1619 It is true that the brain is the largest sex organ and if hers isn't primed enough for sex and fantasies, this can affect her ability to become aroused. Does she like to fantasize?& I admit I do it a lot, even when I'm at work, haha. If she is responding physically in the pelvic area and legs but not really feeling anything, it might be that the information is not getting to the brain which can have lots of causes, physical and psychological. Sex drives do vary a lot between people and some people naturally have very low sex drives but her strong contraceptive pills might be worth looking into because they can affect a womans sex drive. It doesn't mean she has to come off the pill but she can try another one to see if things improve. It's understandable about trying to live up to some expectation. Very tiring. If you are the one she chose to stop doing it with& then, obviously, you're the one she feels most comfortable with because she believes you will accept her for what she is rather than what society dictates she should be. This is a compliment to you really. Maybe she just forced herself to have sex more frequently with previous partners due to this pressure but it wouldn't make things better because most guys would want a woman to want to have sex with them, not just forcing herself to stop him moaning. It is also known that some women just don't have much sensation in their clitoris and many women don't feel much in their vagina because there aren't really loads of nerve endings in the vagina like in the clitoris. It's a good idea for her to mention a few points at her next gyn exam. If it's anytime soon, be sure to let us know what she found out. I'm sure other people might have more ideas about this also....watch this space...:D 2006-05-16 10:21:21
296 1620 "It's understandable about trying to live up to some expectation. Very tiring. If you are the one she chose to stop doing it with& then, obviously, you're the one she feels most comfortable with because she believes you will accept her for what she is rather than what society dictates she should be. This is a compliment to you really. Maybe she just forced herself to have sex more frequently with previous partners due to this pressure but it wouldn't make things better because most guys would want a woman to want to have sex with them, not just forcing herself to stop him moaning. " Thats what I figure myself, and that is definately also the perception I get. She seems to feel the freedom to be more "herself", more relaxed with me than with her former partners. However that makes it hard to understand for me how I can go about this. On the one hand I wish that we improve our sex-life, but on the other hand I fear just becoming such a person in her life that puts pressure on her. Maybe there isnt really an answer to this... I just feel frustrated that I on the one hand might be the one who needs to take the initiative here. And while doing that I might end up pressuring her& to be something that she is not. I guess, I would like some female pointers on how I do the one without the other...& 2006-05-16 10:37:20
296 1622 Yeah, I know what you mean. You did mention that she does wish that she would get aroused more often. If she has a personal wish for that then your support in helping her to achieve it wouldn't put pressure on her because she wants it too. Try telling her out straight that you'd like& her to enjoy herself more but that you don't want her to feel pressured and find out for sure if she would like to try things to improve the whole sex issues. Remind her that you are simply asking because you don't want to inadvertantly do anything that might make her feel inadequate or uncomfortable but that you remember her saying she wishes she would become aroused more and that you'd like to help her to become aroused more if she wants that being as you're her sexual partner, you want her to enjoy herself as much as you do. If she was to say she is happy as she is and isn't bothered about anything changing then you'd have to just leave it at that but I get the feeling she would like to see an increased sex drive. 2006-05-16 11:21:55
296 1623 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "You did mention that she does wish that she would get aroused more often. If she has a personal wish for that then your support in helping her to achieve it wouldn't put pressure on her because she wants it too. Try telling her out straight that you'd like& her to enjoy herself more but that you don't want her to feel pressured and find out for sure if she would like to try things to improve the whole sex issues. Remind her that you are simply asking because you don't want to inadvertantly do anything that might make her feel inadequate or uncomfortable but that you remember her saying she wishes she would become aroused more and that you'd like to help her to become aroused more if she wants that being as you're her sexual partner, you want her to enjoy herself as much as you do. " Thx Canis for your response. Yes we have talked about it alot, and I have expressed that I dont want to do anything that she is not fully into, which she complys that isnt the case. She told me that she feels like uncharted territory and hopes that I will help unlock some of the secrets of her "true sexuality"...& But how the hell do I go about doing that when she doesnt respond in a way that I can understand :( She doesnt like to be touched unless she feels lust already, and to my limited knowledge I cant understand how the heck I can create this, when she as described earlier, doesnt respond to any of the "known" ways... My guess is that I need to stand by and help while she herself evolve these parts of her that makes her feel lust... fantasies was mentioned, and I suppose that a better understanding of her own body and sexuality would help too...& I just dont know how the heck that is done... Lets say it isnt physiological determined that she doesnt feel much, and lets pressume that it isnt me being a total screwup. How do I then go about opening up the part of her that will allow her to allow me... ehm. Do you see the kind of circle I feel trapped in here :) Dont get me wrong, I think that this is way more than a person such a I can achieve, and I understand that no matter what happends it wont happen overnight... But I would however like to do something... and just dont understand what there is to do 2006-05-16 11:49:18
296 1624 It is true that she might need to learn her own sexuality more and her body. I asked before if she has fantasies. If she has never orgasmed even on her own, there would be no surprise she can't orgasm with somebody else. I think she needs to spend more time learning her own body and things might gradually start coming on their own with simple practise. Sexuality has to be primed and practised, it isn't just all there fully developed and ready. If she missed out on self-exploration, this might have contributed to her present sexual state. When you say she doesn't like to be touched if not aroused, do you mean her vulva area? If so, I'm not too keen either but then it is other things that usually start off the initial arousal such as fantasies and then touching areas away from the vulva such as breasts. I wait ages before going anywhere near the vulva and then I am pretty much ready to explode, lol. 2006-05-16 12:09:49
296 1675 No, I mean that she doesnt like to be touched in any way that she think of as sexual. I can kiss her, and hold her, but not move on from there. If I do, and this is not by sticking my hand between her legs, she will immediately say something to show her uninterest. Sometimes she will even state that she dont want to have sex right now... although I never really asked. Same goes if I approach it from the opposite direction, and ask if she would like to have sex or something else. She then responds that she is not in the mood. I understand that it often is complicated to find time, stress and all that sort of reasons, also reduces the lust for sex. She just doesnt give it a chance. If no arousal or lust is already present she is very reluctant to engage in any form of activity that migh cause this. I think this is strange, since I personally think that sexual feeling and lust often comes from the approach. I mean, how often does lust just hit you if not instigated by something. Could be a kiss, a look or anything that wakes me. So much for the problem, but what do I do about it. Shall I try to insist that she should give it a chance? Or shall I leave it be? Problem is that its wearing me down. Its suppresing my own sexuality, and mostly I start to recent the whole mess. If she dont want sex, why should I... and then the game begins. 2006-06-07 08:46:41
298 1641 Hi everyone, I am on the pill but I'd like to come of it. I was wondering if any of the women here are using the "Fertility Awareness" method which is NOT the Rythym method. If the rules are followed properly, then they claim it is as effective as the pill. (I didn't check the reference yet). I'm reading a book about it right now and it sounds very interesting: really makes a woman get in touch with her body by tracking changes in temprature, cervical fluid and the location/texture of the cervix. If anyone uses it or knows about, I'd appreciate any shared experiences because for now, it sounds complicated! In case you're interested more in what is this all about: www.fwhc.org/birth-control/fam.htm The book I'm reading offers alot more info about what to do for lots of situations: www.gardenoffertility.com/ 2006-05-18 08:01:48
298 1661 Well, it's a bit of an oversold system that I would hesitate to call natural. It's been around for at least the last twenty years under different names and involves regular examinations of cervical mucus, takings of temperature, reckonings of likely ovulation status and guesstimates on sperm longevity in the reproductive tract to work. Sure, it's better than nothing, but it's nowhere near as exact as may be hoped and it's a fair bit of work. As the link I'll post below explains, when selecting a contraceptive method, one has to think not only of how well it works in theory but also how well it'll work in practice, given forgetting, can't be bothered, and no, I want sex *now*. There's a lot of scope for failure using fertility awareness, not least of all because there's no ABSOLUTELY safe time in the menstrual cycle, not even when the uterine lining is shedding -- there are only times where unprotected sex is unlikely to lead to pregnancy. Given that this system requires some regularity of ovulation, mucus that is affected by nothing else save your own endogenous hormones (an infection will throw it right off), diligence, comfort with mucus samples and the willingness *not* to have sex for at least half the cycle to work at all, you have to consider carefully whether it'll work for you. I would say that practically, it's better for people who *do* want to get pregnant, just not riiight yet. thewelltimedperiod.blogspot.com/2005/04/we-dont-live-in-perfect.html Again, you know your circumstances. 2006-05-21 15:42:59
301 1664 would it be ok for my boyfriend to urinate inside my vulva...would it hurt or burn in any way, and could it have dangerous effects? PS, this is a GREAT site 2006-05-23 14:52:11
301 1665 Hi curious, yo said vulva, no problem because is mostly external but the vagina is another story, it seem to be inocuous to urinate inside the vagina but most of the times it calls for problems because the acidity and alcalinity of the vagina is very important and if it is altered in any way it can start a yeast infection& or something else. Good luck kises Luisa 2006-05-23 15:00:13
301 1666 thank you so much..i will keep that in mind 2006-05-23 15:06:20
303 1671 Hello all! I just signed up here to ask for advice... I have been sexually active for four years with two partners both whom I cared about greatly. I have tried masturbation and everything, but I just have never orgasmed and I feel bad that i am making my bf feel like he's not good enough... Is there anyone who can help me and give me any advice that can help me acheive this goal. :? My bf and I are open about it... but If I can't even do it myself how can I show him what I like? 2006-05-30 00:28:09
303 1672 My first orgasm, at 18, happened quite by accident and& I wasn't expecting it at all. I knew then what would make it happen and I was well away from there. Basically, I just did what felt best and let my mind run away with itself sexually. The mental part of it is very important. The most powerful form of becoming aroused for me is the sexual thoughts going on in my head and the mental images I come up with. If you worry too much about orgasm and make it such a big deal that you feel you have got to be doing, this could stave it off and prevent you from having one. It's a vicious circle so you are better off just learning to enjoy sex without feeling you have GOT to have an orgasm to please your BF. There is no rule saying that you have to and no rule saying that the only way your BF can be good enough is to make you have one. Meanwhile, you can still experiment to see if you can bring yourself to orgasm. I hear that many women find that vibrators are an excellent tool to help them become orgasmic. Have you thought about trying one? If you worry that your BF might not like the idea, well, just give it to him and let him have a play about with it, lol. Maybe he'll change his mind then. Many blokes find it a turn on to include a vibrator in steamy sessions with their partners. There is a section for pre-orgasmic women in the clitoris.com main site. You might find it helpful to go and have a read of that section. Some women feel like they get an urge to pee on approach to orgasm and they stop themselves for fear of actually peeing and this causes problems. The trick is to just allow yourself to go over the edge.....or hurtle over the edge full whack!!!!:D On approach to orgasm, I start feeling a warm tingling sensation in the clitoris and you need to keep the stimulation going when you feel this. Don't stop. I find that emptying the lungs then breathing in really deeply and slowly helps bring me to orgasm when it's building up. The tingling sensation will increase and intensify and it seems to spread outwards to a climax point& until there is a sort of jerk of the pelvis and then the contractions follow it. All very nice feeling. It feels like a build up of pressure that is suddenly released abruptly but pleasantly. 2006-05-30 10:53:20
303 1673 Thank you for the response! Yes I have tried a vibrator both alone and together. I'll check out that site when I have a little time to look it over. So here's the thing, I have felt like the tingling feeling but mostly in my legs or feet and it goes away pretty fast, I do think maybe the pee feeling is holding me back... cause I have had that feeling as well (then again I've been told I would and tried to not let it bother me... I really don't think it does) I think when I get close I don't know how to explain this, I feel like uptight like I pull in my lower back and am squeezing in ( I really think this is a bad description) and I can't let it go or relax. Here's a thought could I be orgasming but not "cumming" and I just don't know it because I'm expecting more? Nah, I don't feel contractions either. That brings another question, do all women ejaculate or "cum"? Also after the first time will it happen easier or more often? I will try to work on my breathing as well and see if that makes a difference. Thanks again for all your input, I really have nobody else to go to and I'm frustrated. 2006-05-30 22:26:08
303 1674 Hi Bug Many women have experienced this at some stage or another, myself included. Like Canis says, if you worry about not having one it will be near on impossible to achieve an orgasm. When making love / having sex, an orgasm should not be the main focus or goal. This can be very distructive to yourself to have this goal. You need to put having an orgasm out of the equasion for a while and try other things instead. Loving yourself and have your partner massage you and stroking you lovingly without progressing into intercourse for a period of about two weeks to a month would be a start. With mutual masturbation as well. What sort of things turn you on? Is it visual or do you fantacise privately? WIth fantasies, you can let these build up in your mind during the massage and stroking / mutual masturbation sessions. The brain is the largest sex organ in a woman's body so you probably need this stimulating quite a bit before having sex or masturbating. Do you and your boyfriend send sexy SMS text messages to each other or talk online in AIM or similar? This can and does work wonders and get the spark going for you both. Have you taken any medication prescribed or over the counter stuff in the last six months? Are you on the pill? Quite a few things can prevent us from climaxing and the stress of feeling like you are broken or not functioning in some way can actually compound the problem making it much much worse for you than it actually is. The sensations you are feeling sound like you are on the right road. I would suggest that when you get the feelings in your legs, toes and back, move off the clitoris and stimulate above it. This not only relieves the urge to pee but also creates a different type of sensation. It is when you feel your inside muscles contracting and squeezing in a rhythm and you cant touch yourself any more that you are there. The other sensations are all part of the bigger picture of pleasure. The best way I found when I was going through a time when I could not orgasm at all was to build it up over a period of time. Stimulate until you get those sensations then stop and move on to something else like your breasts. Then when the sensations have died down a bit do it all again. Continuous stimulation of the clitoris can be quite painful after a while so it is best not to concentrate on that area alone. Go all around it without actually touching the clitoris at all. Around the pubic area applying slight pressure is another place which when stimulated can produce powerful sensations. Hope this helps and sorry it was a bit long winded. Princess 2006-05-31 09:45:27
304 1676 Hi, I received a link to the free video linked to below. It is x-rated but in very good taste. It is one of the best made for women videos I have seen. It does have a very nice story line and a great musical sound track. It is 80mb and the play time is 21 minutes. You will likely need broadband internet access to download it. Did I mention it is free? [url=www.lustfilms.com/thegoodgirl/index1.htm] www.lustfilms.com/thegoodgirl/index1.htm [url=www.erikalust.com/] www.erikalust.com [url=www.lustfilms.com/] www.lustfilms.com Enjoy, Brad 2006-06-07 11:43:32
304 1695 Thanks for the post!!! Really liked it, cute, funny and very sexy... the guy is really hot.& Not to mention it looks far more realistic than regular porn. 2006-06-14 17:51:24
304 1747 That is much better than the normal porn you see out there. I dont remember the last time I found a 20 min free one, are the more out there? 2006-06-22 00:54:30
304 1749 I know a good site... and there's full length movies... if you would like the site, pm me and I'll give it to you. 2006-06-22 13:21:04
304 1791 I pm'd you and you told me to look for them.& I'm confused. :( 2006-06-26 08:43:53
304 1801 Whoops, sorry that I confused you.& I meant to say, that not all of the porn on that site is like that indie film.& I directed you to a site that have free full length films. There are some videos on there I start to not like so I just x out of them, but then I find really good videos.& Just go in, register, sign-in and then you can view videos under different sections.& Just look around and you'll find the site that suits you the most. 2006-06-26 14:25:03
304 1808 I have been visiting the site Ladybug suggested for the last few days, and frankly I have thoroughly enjoyed the videos.& Very erotic, and I must admit to having masturbated several times (different days) while enjoying the& various scenes.& What has surprised me, a totally heterosexual male, is how fascinated I am with the videos showing erections and male masturbation.& Something I never showed any interest in before.& Curious if oher men have had the same experience.& & 2006-06-27 10:28:04
304 1845 sorry for the late reply why not put the links on the forum itself, anybody who wish to go through it can have it regards athula 2006-07-06 02:06:04
304 1846 I don't know if I can or not.& That's why I asked people to message me if they wanted it. 2006-07-06 17:41:05
304 1849 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "I don't know if I can or not. That's why I asked people to message me if they wanted it. " I would prefer not really because the private message thing works and this is not a porn link suppliers site sorry Princess 2006-07-06 18:12:19
304 1850 Hi Lady& will you please email me the link for the movie? thanks Luisa 2006-07-06 18:39:41
304 1851 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "[user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "I don't know if I can or not.& That's why I asked people to message me if they wanted it. " I would prefer not really because the private message thing works and this is not a porn link suppliers site sorry Princess"Exactly, that's what I was thinking.& I'd prefer people to message me anyway.& Because it's easier if they have any questions about it. 2006-07-06 21:55:37
305 1677 By ANDREW BRIDGES Associated Press Writer 6/8/06 WASHINGTON (AP) - Women for the first time have a vaccine to protect them against cervical cancer.& The Food and Drug Administration on Thursday approved use of the vaccine, Gardasil, for use in girls and women ages 9 to 26. It works by preventing infection by four strains of the human papillomavirus, or HPV, the most prevalent sexually transmitted disease. This cancer kills 3,700 women each year in the United States and hundreds of thousands more worldwide. Gardasil, manufactured by Merck & Co. Inc., protects against the two types of HPV responsible for about 70 percent of cervical cancer cases. The vaccine also blocks infection by two other strains responsible for 90 percent of genital wart cases. Clinical trials showed Gardasil prevented 100 percent of cervical cancer related to the two HPV strains in women who had not been previously infected, Merck said. Merck is expected to market Gardasil as a cancer, rather than an STD, vaccine. It remains unclear how widespread will be the use of the three-shot series, in part because of its $360 list price. Conservative opposition to making the vaccine mandatory for school attendance may also curb its adoption. The target age for receiving Gardasil is low because the vaccine works best when given to girls before they begin having sex and run the risk of HPV infection. The vaccine may not protect people already infected and may increase their risk of the kind of lesions that can lead to cervical cancer, the FDA has said. The national Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices will decide June 29 whether to endorse routine vaccination with Gardasil. That endorsement is critical if a vaccine is to become a standard of care. It then will be up to individual states to decide whether to add the vaccine to the list of others required before students may attend public schools. Conservative groups like Focus on the Family support availability of the vaccine, but oppose making it mandatory, saying the decision to vaccinate should rest with a child's parents or guardians. It promotes abstinence as the best way of warding off infection by HPV and other STDs. HPV affects more than 50 percent of sexually active adults at some point in their lives. The cervical cancer it can cause kills about 290,000 women worldwide each year, including 3,700 in the United States. In the U.S., regular Pap smears often detect precancerous lesions and early cancer. The vaccine does not eliminate the need for regular screening. Analysts believe Gardasil sales could top $1 billion a year for Merck, which is battling thousands of lawsuits over its withdrawn painkiller Vioxx. The Whitehouse Station, N.J. company is seeking to license Gardasil in more than 50 countries. GlaxoSmithKline PLC is also developing an HPV vaccine. "Merck is proud to be the leader in cervical cancer vaccine research and development," said Richard Clark, the company's chief executive officer and president. "Bringing forward this lifesaving scientific advance is yet another testament to Merck's long-standing mission to research and develop novel vaccines and medicines that can greatly improve public health." The cost of Gardasil and the difficulty of getting young girls in to see a doctor three times in six months to receive the vaccine could pose problems, said Cynthia Dailard, senior public policy analyst at the Guttmacher Institute, which focuses on sexual and reproductive health. Ensuring its availability to poor and minority girls and women -- and others less likely to receive regular Pap exams -- also will be difficult. "This is an incredibly exciting breakthrough, but at the same time, it presents some major challenges ... of the likes of which we have never confronted before," Dailard said. Inda Blatch-Geib, an Akron, Ohio mother of four, said she'd consider vaccinating her daughters, ages 9 and 16. Blatch-Geib, 41, said doing so wouldn't be tantamount to giving her girls a green light to have sex. "Giving the vaccine goes with a conversation. We are pretty open with our children, so it wouldn't be an issue. It would lead to conversations," Blatch-Geib said. 2006-06-08 16:48:33
305 1678 They have been on about this vaccine in the UK too. The vag has made sure I have never been infected with the virus but it also makes sure I can't have the smear tests either so if this came out soon, it would be great for the likes of me. 2006-06-08 18:34:54
305 1679 Canis, Is it possible to get cervical cancer without sexual activity? Jumper 2006-06-08 20:26:29
305 1681 Well, I think there might be very rare cases where the cancer isn't caused by the virus that can only be caught via IC. I think the types caused by the virus make up nearly all cases to the point where they don't think that cervical smears will even be necessary if a girl has the jab before she becomes sexually active. Well, this is what I read up anyhow. In the U.K, you don't even have to have a smear test unless you are sexually active or have been. You don't need it to get on the pill like in the U.S either. 2006-06-09 09:59:20
305 1688 Hi, A quote from the following website: [url=www.studenthealth.ucla.edu/handouts/ho-hpv.html] www.studenthealth.ucla.edu/handouts/ho-hpv.html "HPV is a highly prevalent in the college population and is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the world. In the United States alone there are approximately 5.5 million NEW cases of HPV every year. In one study the cumulative incidence of HPV in sexually active college age women over a three year period was 43%." Brad 2006-06-10 16:39:49
306 1680 Ok, so Ive posted before about my previous thoughts about my girlfriend, who I love, and really REALLY believe is the one. The case is not simple at all, but the facts are quite basic. She never had an orgasm. She pursued this quite heavily in the past, and it seems that she at some point gave up on the whole sex thing. She has physical needs of course, and wants sex from time to time. But beyond that she think of sex as pointless, and especially anything that leads to sex. I am understanding, but I still would like a somewhat interesting sex life. She says that she is interested in this too, but she just feels discouraged by the fact that it never leads anywhere. She used, in her past,& to be obsessed by haunting this great "O", but now it just doesnt make any sense to her anymore. Why do foreplay, when it will never lead to "anything", she kinda says. I try not to pressure when it comes to sex, but I have explained to her that I would really like to do "something". That I would like for us to engage in some sexual activity, that could strengthen this part of us. It would be nice if this in due time could lead to an orgasm for her, but for now I would settle for this being something we both enjoy and have a good time with. Please get, that I in every way try not to emphasize orgasm as any kind of objective with our sex life. I do not believe in hunting such things, and although I enjoy that part of the female sexuality alot, this is basically about me wishing sex being a joyfull pleasure between the two of us. I would like some input on how to approach this. First of all, how do I build up something positive with her sexually? Can I fx insist that we have to work on this, or should I simply forget about this and let it be? I told her that the important part for me when it comes to this, isnt how much we "do it". But that she accepts that we have to work on our sex life and commit to this (and& not just being something that is slowly dying within her). & Any of you former preorgasmic women out there please tell me what is a good MALE approach on this. U all have such good advice for preorgasmic women. What is good advice for us guys living whith preorgasmic women? How to motivate and buildup something good in a sex life... and how do I best go about helping her, in her search... 2006-06-08 22:43:28
308 1699 I've been going on bike rides, and today I felt like my lips were being pinched together when I was biking today and I felt a stinging sensation.& When I got home, there was blood, and I lightly touched myself and skin came off? What should I do? My mom said vaseline, but I really don't think that would be a good idea.& I remember reading threads about putting that gucky stuff on our wonder spots. 2006-06-15 22:27:25
308 1700 I understand how you feel and I have the solution to your problem, I used under my breasts that used to get raw and worked ok... find a horse riding store and ask for a "BODYGLIDE" and apply to the area it looks like a deodorant (solid) you'll be surprised by the results luck Luisa 2006-06-16 00:02:13
308 1704 Hiya this has happened to me before now usually because the trousers cut into you when you are riding on the bike. I wear two sanitry towels inside my knickers now when ever I am going to bike ride or do anything that involves sitting awkwardly for any length of time. Position them correctly so that your lips are touching the top pad when you sit down with your legs apart. I agree with you about the vasaline and I would not use it either but some oil like almond or grapeseed oil would be fine. You could also try green cabbage leaves straight out of the fridge. I know that sounds ridiculous but believe me, after having five children I KNOW that they work. Put one inside your pants for about half an hour. The coolness of the cabbage leaf and the nutrients within its structure can work wonders. This also works with slices of cucumber too but you need to be laying down to put one or two on the sore bit to heal it properly. You can buy a nappy rash cream from the pharmacy too. Drapoline or Timodine are excellent ones for this type of thing. Nelsons Homeopathy Creams like Calenula are great too. Let me know how you get on with it and sorry to read you have this soreness. Princess 2006-06-16 07:32:56
308 1710 Thank you for your replies.& It's feeling a bit better today. I've been putting cold compresses on it, and I took a rest from biking today because I didn't want to chafe (sp?) my lips again. I'll return to my bike in a day or two. :) 2006-06-16 22:20:37
308 1715 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "Thank you for your replies. It's feeling a bit better today. I've been putting cold compresses on it, and I took a rest from biking today because I didn't want to chafe (sp?) my lips again. I'll return to my bike in a day or two. :) " Just remember padding is the key. Your skin is very delicate around there so look after it Princess 2006-06-17 15:24:20
308 1716 I really do try.& This is the first time this has happened.& I have a gel seat on my bike, and I just must not have been in my usual position when I was biking since it rubbed the way it did. 2006-06-18 01:41:24
309 1701 Hey all!& I am an 18-year-old virgin who nonetheless fools around quite a bit with her boyfriend.& But as we've gone farther, I've gotten more worried.& I've been masturbating since I was two (literally), although I repressed my sexuality for most of my life, up until the end of high school.& In high school, I also discovered that I am bisexual. That's enough for history.& So my current boyfriend is the first person I've felt comfortable enough with to allow him to insert his fingers or use his tongue in my vaginal area.& Generally, it feels pretty good, although I think I have a rather sensitive clitoris.& It feels fine when I masturbate (although I mostly dry hump), but it can sometimes hurt when he touches it.& No big deal, the two of us are working on that. What worries me is what happens when he enters me with his finger.& Like I said, I've been masturbating for awhile, so as a general rule, I know what I like.& I enjoy it when he fingers me deeply.& But as we go on, I start to kind of freak out.& I really feel like I'm accepting of myself, and a sexually open person, so I don't think that's the problem.& Normally there comes a point where my pleasure, and a sort of physical discomfort, kind of painful, are mounting, and I wig and pull out his fingers.& This past time, however, he wouldn't allow himself to be pulled out.& I don't think I orgasmed, but I reached this point where I just couldn't take it anymore, and yanked him out of there.& I then had to lie very still, and I actually cried.& I always need to be held quite a bit during play, but this time I think I really freaked him out. Is this fear/discomfort/pain normal?& Is it normal for me to want to remove my boyfriend's fingers?& Is crying normal or indicative of anything?& Any thoughts would be very helpful.& The two of us are trying to work through this, but I need some outside input.& Thanks! 2006-06-16 00:33:21
309 1703 Hello and Welcome to the Group :) You are a normal healthy young woman. Just in case you have not heard that for a while I thought I would say it now. There is nothing wrong with you. The intense feelings you are experiencing while your boyfriend's fingers are inside you is connection with your emotions and it is quite usual to sometimes cry or be highly emotional as you approach that type of climax. Deep inside up behind the clitoris is usually where the G spot is and where there are several sensitive nerve endings. When these are directly stimulated in the way you describe it can be extremely powerful and intense. I have cried myself before and often need to be held. It is almost like sharing something that you dont understand yourself but that is so good you dont want it to stop but then you do because you are scared of what might happen if you let it go on. Would you say that is a fair assement of how you feel when your boyfriend is doing the fingering? Then somehow you revert back to a young age mentally and need reasurance and to be held, stroked and cuddled. Let me know if I have completely got that wrong but if I havent then these feelings are very normal and very common. Princess 2006-06-16 07:25:42
309 1706 *laughs*& That sounds like it could be right.& I'm glad to hear other people have cried ... I just couldn't find mention of similar reactions on websites. Do you have any tips for relaxing ... or avoiding the fear bit?& Or are those emotions always going to be so intense that they're painful? Thanks again for replying! 2006-06-16 08:03:40
309 1707 Maybe the fear thing was partly due to you not knowing what was going on or if it was normal. Now that you know it is ok, keep reminding yourself when it happens, the fear might go away gradually on it's own. 2006-06-16 09:31:45
309 1708 [user=597]petitereve[/user] wrote: "*laughs*& That sounds like it could be right.& I'm glad to hear other people have cried ... I just couldn't find mention of similar reactions on websites. Do you have any tips for relaxing ... or avoiding the fear bit?& Or are those emotions always going to be so intense that they're painful? Thanks again for replying! " You just need time and experience to adjust to this new situation.& Just because you know your own body well doesn't mean that being intimate with someone else for the first time isn't confusing, exhilirating, and a bit scary.& As your trust and confidence grows, the fear should go away. 2006-06-16 14:26:49
309 1709 We all have different show of emotions...when I was young and had my first real orgasm I blacked out for few seconds , it was strong and a lot of pleasure...Luisa 2006-06-16 14:41:45
309 1711 Wow, that's pretty intense ... I guess I didn't realize how powerful stuff like that is. 2006-06-16 23:05:13
309 1712 [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "You just need time and experience to adjust to this new situation. Just because you know your own body well doesn't mean that being intimate with someone else for the first time isn't confusing, exhilirating, and a bit scary. As your trust and confidence grows, the fear should go away. " Hi there, some of the most exciting things in life are scary but we have tried them so know they are exciting. There is so much more to having intimate relationships that involve sex / love making then people discuss isnt there. Good answer by the way :) Princess 2006-06-17 15:10:21
309 1713 [user=597]petitereve[/user] wrote: "{b}*laughs* That sounds like it could be right. I'm glad to hear other people have cried ... I just couldn't find mention of similar reactions on websites. Do you have any tips for relaxing ... or avoiding the fear bit? Or are those emotions always going to be so intense that they're painful? Thanks again for replying! " Remember when you went on your first rollercoaster at the fairground? You were scared apprehensive and unsure but the idea of the thrill of the ride was so strong you went for it and before you knew where you were you were being pulled up to a great height. The anticipation before the drop was so intense you had no idea what it would feel like but you grit your teeth clenched your hands around that bar and when the carriage dropped at speed down the track and wooshed back up again around the corner you felt fantastic. Your body reacted in its own way. Your stomach may have felt like it was in your mouth, your hands were white with the strength you were clinging on to the bar, all the blood may have rushed down to your legs making them feel heavy and yet unstable and your head felt light when you attempted to walk afterwards? Major first time experiences feel like that, sort of and if you are extremely lucky at the age of mid 30's 40's 50's 60's 70's 80's and so on will still feel like that once in a while :) It does not pain it is just a different feeling to any other. Sex should never be painful or hurt inside the vagina and around the vulva. Your brain reads the signals as pain at first because it does not know this new feeling. Hope this helps a bit but the best advice would be to go with it and enjoy it. Princess 2006-06-17 15:21:37
309 1714 [user=597]petitereve[/user] wrote: "Wow, that's pretty intense ... I guess I didn't realize how powerful stuff like that is." that is why there is always a debate about what age is appropiate for starting intercourse. There is so much more to it then just penetration and foreplay. Princess 2006-06-17 15:23:13
309 1717 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "[user=597]petitereve[/user] wrote: "Wow, that's pretty intense ... I guess I didn't realize how powerful stuff like that is." that is why there is always a debate about what age is appropiate for starting intercourse. There is so much more to it then just penetration and foreplay. Princess" I couldn't agree with you more.& I'm actually glad that I waited as long as I did to lose my virginity.& The intimacy between my boyfriend and me is just amazing. I've never loved someone so much before.& And the sex is just getting better and better each and every time. 2006-06-18 01:43:54
309 1733 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "Remember when you went on your first rollercoaster at the fairground? You were scared apprehensive and unsure but the idea of the thrill of the ride was so strong you went for it and before you knew where you were you were being pulled up to a great height. The anticipation before the drop was so intense you had no idea what it would feel like but you grit your teeth clenched your hands around that bar and when the carriage dropped at speed down the track and wooshed back up again around the corner you felt fantastic. Your body reacted in its own way. Your stomach may have felt like it was in your mouth, your hands were white with the strength you were clinging on to the bar, all the blood may have rushed down to your legs making them feel heavy and yet unstable and your head felt light when you attempted to walk afterwards? Major first time experiences feel like that, sort of and if you are extremely lucky at the age of mid 30's 40's 50's 60's and so on will still feel like that once in a while :) It does not pain it is just a different feeling to any other. Sex should never be painful or hurt inside the vagina and around the vulva. Your brain reads the signals as pain at first because it does not know this new feeling. Hope this helps a bit but the best advice would be to go with it and enjoy it. Princess" Wow, that's an awesome metaphor.& It really puts it into perspective. Well, I'm seeing him again this weekend (he's a couple hundred miles away this summer) with a bit more comfort and confidence.& Thanks! 2006-06-20 00:00:30
309 1738 Yes! the rollercoaster ride is not only an awsome metaphor, but one most of us can relate to.& Only one thing left out.& the ages given stopped at the 60's.& I am 75, and yesterday I had the pleasure of giving oral sex to a new partner.& I used my tongue on her clitoris as well as her lips and for penetration.& can't go very deep but it seemed to get a very favorable response.& when she finally had what may have been multiple orgasms, her moans turned into a mild but definite scream, and she almost crushed my head as she contracted her muscles and with her hands forcefully held on to my head.& Her response took me to the top of the ride and down the steep slope even though I did not come at that time.& So add the 70's.& I am still savoring that moment.:D 2006-06-20 21:17:12
309 1744 [user=597]petitereve[/user] wrote: "[ Wow, that's an awesome metaphor. It really puts it into perspective. Well, I'm seeing him again this weekend (he's a couple hundred miles away this summer) with a bit more comfort and confidence. Thanks! " So pleased that made sense for you and that you could relate. :) Good luck with everything and remember to relax and have fun! Princess 2006-06-21 15:07:08
309 1745 [user=504]Jumper 1951[/user] wrote: "Yes! the rollercoaster ride is not only an awsome metaphor, but one most of us can relate to. Only one thing left out. the ages given stopped at the 60's. I am 75, and yesterday I had the pleasure of giving oral sex to a new partner. I used my tongue on her clitoris as well as her lips and for penetration. can't go very deep but it seemed to get a very favorable response. when she finally had what may have been multiple orgasms, her moans turned into a mild but definite scream, and she almost crushed my head as she contracted her muscles and with her hands forcefully held on to my head. Her response took me to the top of the ride and down the steep slope even though I did not come at that time. So add the 70's. I am still savoring that moment.:D" Thanks :) I have added the 70's to the original post that I made and I am glad you found the rollercoaster example useful :) Princess 2006-06-21 15:08:05
310 1730 Ok, I'm new to this site.& I hope I can find some help.& I was in a hurry and cut my clitoris in 3 places while shaving a week ago.& It didn't hurt, nor did it bleed when it happened.& Since then I have developed 2 cuts on the side of the clitoris and 1 cut on the front of it.& They are very sore to the touch and walking, sitting, etc. seems to keep it irritated.& It's not in a very good place to heal.& Since it's in this place, I had my husband look and he said that the cuts seemed to be trying to heal as they have new (white) skin on them, but it's just too moist.& I put neosporin with pain relief and for an antibiotic and powder to try and keep it dry.& This doesn't seem to help.& The powder just gums up and it is very painful to clean the area and start over everyday.& Any suggestions?& I am desperate!!!!& Thanks! 2006-06-19 17:14:56
310 1731 I'm no expert about what to put on it, you will most likely get advice about that from some of the others. The main problem, as you say, is the moisture. One way to help deal with this is to try and go without underwear as much as possible for a week or two whilst it heals and only wear loose clothing so the fresh air can get to your vulva and dry it out a little. I know you can get those doughnut type seats for sitting on for problems like this too. See if you can obtain something of this sort from somewhere. OOOCH!, just reading what happened made me squirm uncomfortably, lol. 2006-06-19 19:03:07
310 1732 Ack, that made my crotch hurt. I don't think it would be a good idea to go without underwear because bacteria would have an easier chance to getting into the cut that way. I suggest you see your doctor about it and have them have a look at it and see if they could give you any type of oinment. 2006-06-19 19:31:42
310 1734 A doctor is definitely the best person to ask. 2006-06-20 00:01:44
310 1737 Hi, Underwear wont create much of a barrier to things on a microscopic level.& They will reduce friction from tight fitting cloths but also may trap moisture. Cotton is the best as it allows air to pass through, but if they are always damp that isn't good either.& Excess moisture needs to be able to evaporate away. Skirts/dresses and cotton underwear are best if you can't go without. A triple antibioic ointment would lubricate the area reducing friction and seal out moisture and urine. Products containing lidocaine appear to be appropriate for the vulva, but NOT Benzocaine. Lidocaine Bikini Zone with Lidocaine Benzocaine warning ;] www.fpnotebook.com/GYN192.htm Brad 2006-06-20 07:57:44
311 1751 Hi I'm Adam from the UK and I happened upon this board quite by accident as I was looking for skins for my 'wowbb'. Suffice it to say that I am from the South East in the UK. My question or rather situation is for princess as she has posted quite a lot on this plus she is qualified as per vocation do advise. I am a male, 29 and work full time shifts in London, my social life is below par partly due to my shift work and partly due to my friends.& My so called friends are few and far beteen and most of them are losers anyways. Friend 1 - Mr Whipped, stays home all the time with his girlfriend, he started seeing her and then moved in after one month! nice. He also rarely has any money because of a previous marriage and daughter from that the child benefits agency take about 50% of his wages. Friend 2 - Mr A$$hole disrespects women, he's 36, has no idea about dress sense, is almost eccentric but without the style to be, resents pay money for clothing, won't drink, rarely drinks anything other then water or pure orange juice. So he's a joy to be out with - also he thinks he is the master with girls, his ideal girl is 6ft size 6 (very skinny) intelligent, does everything house wise and sex wise and he's totally uncool when he 'tries' to chat up girls, in fact all the girls he has chatted up in my presence is cringeworthy and embarrasing.& I even had some girl come up to me in a club 2 weeks ago and ask me if I was Adam, then told me I *really* needed to get rid of him - praise indeed! Friend 3 - Mr Never-about-for-a-drink, well this guy is one of those "yeah we'll meet for a beer" types and never comes up with the goods. That's pretty much my mates of the ones I see. There are a few others that I will see when out drinking etc but they arent really mates, just, well, drinking buddies I guess and I'm stooping low when I drink with them too. I realise that I need to get more mates but it seems difficult these days to meet people, ideally school was the best option due to the history etc. So this brings me around to girls.& I have had some pretty sexy and intelligent girls but lately I have become ultra fussy, see now my perfect girl has to fulfill a certain size and look and epecially be smart and 'click' with me. So me being ultra fussy is a biggie, secondly my friends don't help due to their personalities and the way they are. Friend 1 goes out but rarely without his other half.& Friend 2 goes out nearly all the time but he is such an embarrasing, badly dressed loser to be out with, much less seen with I try not to engage him at all.& Friend 3 is a blue moon friend. So it is rare I get to have a great night out with anyone - bit pathetic really. The only time I really get exposed to girls looking good and having fun are on these rare occasions and thus put myself under considerable pressure to find a girlfriend and as you might guess I don't or at least it is as rare as seeing Friend 3. Now I know that girls can sense desperation but the past two weeks I've been out and had fun, chatted up 4 girls, 2 of those took my number and 2 gave me theirs.& I have had no contact from any of them and I did wait a few days before a contact attempt as I know the game (sad tho it is). See one of my problems is because there is so much pressure on me to get a girlfriend, it shows and due to that I am *always* looking... Always. It's been suggested that I should stop looking, which is marvellous logic if you aren't me and you don't understand.& See it isn't just a switch off because I wish I could, rather I realise that in order not to look I should be out playing football (soccar to you yanks) or skateboarding or the gym or *anything* that I enjoy that will take my mind off things. I suspect that I am not alone but I just cannot help myself, I'm just always hunting!& I would dearly love a girlfriend, someone to be with but I cannot let myself settle for anyone.& I suppose if you can call them this, they are victims of my endless quest to find "the one" but as you will be aware the one is almost ni the mind's eye.& Whenever I think about a girl that is overweight it turns me off - reason being that she doesn't look after herself or a girl that is a dizzy blonde and will offer me nothing. God I'm SO fussy!! Anyways - you are all welcome to post a reply - but if you must critise be honest, do not mud sling and keep it positive. And if you want to see a photo of me I don't mind sharing my myspace or something - because I'm really not ugly or anything - perhaps girls are intimidated gee I don't know! Adam. 2006-06-23 14:27:05
311 1753 Well, like you said...you should stop looking and have it come to you.& Sometimes that's just how it works.& It happens for a lot of people.& You can't really look for something that you do not have. :? Also, blonde hair, is just hair, it has nothing to do with a girl's intelligence. And for the fuller figured ladies out there, it doesn't mean that we all don't take care of ourselves.& I'm a bit overweight, but I am really truly trying to lose the weight.& But there are some people that truly can't help that.& But if it's something you don't like, that's okay. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 2006-06-23 17:54:55
311 1754 LOL, I'm a girl and I have similar problems to you. I'm also in the UK but from up north, lol. I'm a yorkshire lass. Working evenings gets in the way, unmotivated friends who say this and that but never do....others& I have absolutely nothing in common with, some that won't go out anyway, work colleagues are difficult even if they do want to go out because some of us is always working, most people my age (26, about to turn 27) have kids and can't go out because of them....you know the drabble... I'm also really fussy. Still, I have even more reason to be cautious being as I suffer from vaginismus and any bloke who just wants to get& somebody into bed is not going like me very much. In fact, there are probably more blokes out there who'd run a mile from me if they knew I couldn't have IC than there are who wouldn't, I think. Still, you too often can't tell the type until it is too late so I have a bit of a predicament. I'm very untrusting of guys that approach in clubs anyway. I'm quite untrusting generally. Maybe this is what stops them coming up to speak to me. I don't go out actively looking really. Guys only tend to talk to my mates, not me. It doesn't help that I have a really hard time telling what people are saying in places with really loud music. Other people find it much easier than me for some reason. At the same time, I'm one who has to block my ears if an ambulance or police car goes past with the siren on because it hurts my ears so much whereas nobody else seems bothered by it. Maybe the loud music just drowns my ears more than others, I don't know. I can hear voices quite loud when they shout down your ear& but just can't tell what the hell they are saying which really doesn't help when trying to converse with people. After a while, they get tired of& me because nothing they say gets across to me. Sorry,& I haven't given any advice for you but, at least, I know now that others have similar problems, even guys....and you now know that girls can have similar problems too. 2006-06-23 19:42:13
311 1759 I'm sorry but I find your attitude completely and obviously self-defeating.& If you have this image of what the perfect girl is, here is the painfully cliche fact: you're never going to find her because she doesn't exist. I am not saying go out with any girl but instead of letting the criteria be this ideal in your head, let it be whether you have fun with her, whether she makes you feel happy and excited when she is around, and whether she turns you on (last one seperates the friends from the, well, girlfriends ;))... if not then by all means drop it, but if so,& you might have a 1-day or a 1-week thing or it might just last a little bit longer but you would've had fun. 2006-06-24 03:47:52
311 1760 Perhaps its your attitude.& As condescending as you are in describing your so-called friends (who talks about their friends that way?), it's a wonder how anyone would be romantically interested in you.& Regarding everyone around you as beneath you, or making you stoop too low, or blaming your friends for your unfulfilling social/romantic life is not a good way to impress women. It seems like you are trying to blame anything or anyone but yourself for your own shortcomings.& That's really bad form. Also, it seems to me that you are mocking friend #2 for having unrealistic standards while you are doing the exact same thing.& Hypocrisy is a no-no.& Look in the mirror dude! 2006-06-24 06:54:48
311 1761 Perhaps it is to do with my attitude and perhaps it is not.& It seems almost illegal to stand up for what I want - tell you what - take a look around today's society and tell me if the break up rate has increased, if divorce is up and still on the up.& Perhaps it is because that people settle or rush into things but either way you have to admit there is a fundamental problem with society - perhaps the problem isn't me at all perhaps it is the way society expects us to be. I think you've missed the point about your blame comment - it is not my intention to blame anyone else, granted I do slate my so called friends but then that was informational to highlight my current life style ignore the fact that I have said about them what I have it is merely to say that because of who they are I either don't get to go out much with them by their choice or I end up with someone who offends women.& You also said that I am mocking friend 2 for having unrealistic standards - not so.& He IS unrealistic of course you only have my painted picture of him but that aside, I do respect women, that isn't the issue.& If you read what I wrote you will see that it is the attitudes I don't like. The problem with my area is that the emphasis is all on image, how you look, what you do, what you say. So the area isn't ideal I am now going to different places socially. Back to the romantic interest in me I doubt whether even you have the skill I have in hunting - I'm not here to boast and so won't but I am merely stating that this isn't my sole driving factor and I am not some fat guy who can't get laid - as if goes I have plenty of interest but as I have said, I am choosey. It would seem to some that it isn't politically correct to be choosy or say I'm not interested because... So perhaps you might forget the attack and try and put yourself into someone else's position for once - have you ever just listened to someone? [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "Perhaps its your attitude.& As condescending as you are in describing your so-called friends (who talks about their friends that way?), it's a wonder how anyone would be romantically interested in you.& Regarding everyone around you as beneath you, or making you stoop too low, or blaming your friends for your unfulfilling social/romantic life is not a good way to impress women. It seems like you are trying to blame anything or anyone but yourself for your own shortcomings.& That's really bad form. Also, it seems to me that you are mocking friend #2 for having unrealistic standards while you are doing the exact same thing.& Hypocrisy is a no-no.& Look in the mirror dude! " 2006-06-24 07:32:33
311 1762 My attitude is exaggerated here to prove my point.& There is nothing wrong in having an in mind what I want in a girl.& I am of course willing to accept certain things but not others.& Again I have soon too many people in miserable marriages, unhappy with their lives because they settled for someone or didn't realise who they were when they got married and then ended up in some awful depressing situation that neither have the courage to get out of. Take friend 1, he is so needy and so is his girlfriend that they will never break up because they need each other to an unhealthy extent. It is unhealthy to spend so much time with one person without having the necessary personal space. I appreciate your honest however. When I do go out with friend 1 minus extra limb then we have a pretty good time and is it really too much to ask to see a guy I have know for over 20 years alone occasionally? I think not. But it would seem it is his choice to spend his life whipped and that isn't my choice but I am forced to accept it. A little unfair don’t you think? But then what is my choice? Back to the type - few girls actually turn me on or at least keep me stimulated mentally because I am just too unique a person. At 29 I'm more suited to girls who are several years my senior and at my age and above generally speaking girls have 'been there, done that' and most have the t-shirts or more likely kids or are divorcees. I don't want that - I want a girl that as issue free as the situation will allow. [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: "I'm sorry but I find your attitude completely and obviously self-defeating.& If you have this image of what the perfect girl is, here is the painfully cliche fact: you're never going to find her because she doesn't exist. I am not saying go out with any girl but instead of letting the criteria be this ideal in your head, let it be whether you have fun with her, whether she makes you feel happy and excited when she is around, and whether she turns you on (last one seperates the friends from the, well, girlfriends ;))... if not then by all means drop it, but if so,& you might have a 1-day or a 1-week thing or it might just last a little bit longer but you would've had fun. " 2006-06-24 07:44:19
311 1763 This is what I am talking about though I cannot switch off my hunting instinct - the thing is I have to be interested - as stated - sufficiently in something else that my mind and body is fully engaged so as this hunting deal will be switched off - I'm sure you are not an idiot and can therefore see that something as psychologically based as what I have described isn't as easy and just stopping looking - it just isn't - it is impossible.& Hell, if you don't believe me, just stop breathing. Oh you can't?& Well there you go then.& Yes its extreme but its just a point. Lets do the fuller figure thing - firstly no fuller figured people came out of concentration camps and while is a harsh extreme it is true. Secondly if you want to fat or thin that is fine that is your call it’s great! Eat, don't eat, be happy, I don't care either way - but - don't expect me to date you.& See being fuller or in many cases over weight is not only unhealthy for someone it is dangerous to your health, the amount of rubbish people eat worries me and often they are heading for all kinds of fun stuff as they age - sometimes with histories they need not age for it to affect them. I spend a lot of time keeping fit, eating properly and looking after myself and therefore expect the girl to do the same.& I can be flexible of course and in some cases girls with a nice figure even fuller figure is attractive but I would guess that my version of fuller is much different to someone that actively over eats. For dieting - I would be most interested to know what your diet consists of. You might or might not be surprised to know that the best way to loose weight is just easting right and lots of it - if you eat a lot everyday your body comes to rely on the fact that it needs not store anything because every 2-3 hours you are eating something, start with a good breakfast, no fats, not cooked, wheat oats nuts bran etc there are many choices, then eat fruit until lunch, have a light lunch, include brown bread, fish is good too, then eat more throughout the day until dinner time which can be a cooked meal but don’t eat too late, then you can relax.& Get plenty of water - I drink at least 3 litres a day. Cut out rubbish like candy/sweets snacks and junk food - if you haven't already seen it I recommend a film called Supersize Me there are some excellent fact about what the Americans eat but the film is good overall and the information applies to all people. So cut out the large fries and burgers, watch the carbs and proteins, don’t mix them. Plus, and here is the biggie, do exercise - walk daily at the very least, don’t take elevators, take the stairs.& If you can follow a simple diet plan as this you will be able to lose weight easily but it does take staying power and the ability to say no to yourself where junk food is concerned. This is aimed at you - its just what I believe. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder but again your eye and my eye are very different. ... and of course - no offence intended. [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "Well, like you said...you should stop looking and have it come to you.& Sometimes that's just how it works.& It happens for a lot of people.& You can't really look for something that you do not have. :? Also, blonde hair, is just hair, it has nothing to do with a girl's intelligence. And for the fuller figured ladies out there, it doesn't mean that we all don't take care of ourselves.& I'm a bit overweight, but I am really truly trying to lose the weight.& But there are some people that truly can't help that.& But if it's something you don't like, that's okay. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. " 2006-06-24 08:05:49
311 1764 Hi there, I'm definitely not pretending to know it all -- I have this handle for a reason. :)& My advice is worth exactly what you find it to be. The first thing I would say is that it sounds like you need better friends, or rather, friends who you feel share more of your outlook and values. If you enjoy them so little, it's time for a reconsideration, methinks. You say you're fussy. I have a question: fussy for what? Everyone has a mental image of what is important to them in another and what I'm asking is: what's really important to you and why? If the most important thing is to have a particular 'look' why? Is it because that's the only look that actually attracts you or because it's the one you'd like to be seen associated with? When you say 'someone who clicks with me', what do you mean? Someone who laughs at your jokes, someone who doesn't contradict you, someone who shares your outlook and values? What? What things are more important, which would you be willing to compromise on and why? Clarifying what you want would help a lot with finding that special girl. To use myself as an example, looks are the least important thing in my mind when looking at guys (though I confess to preferring shorter rather than taller guys -- I like being able to& easily look a person in the eyes), in part because I've come to realise that people don't look good to me just on appearance. People look good to me when I get to know them better and *like* their personality. Personality and character matter a lot to me, particularly what a guy is like under duress, how he treats others around him and they take time to know. Hence all the guys I've dated have been people I've met in daily life and gotten to know and like. I'll have to say that there's nothing *less* attractive than a person who runs down others -- you *know* he'll be slagging you off too the moment he doesn't agree with you and really, who wants a piece of that? Rather than browse round clubs and try chatting up inebriated girls who'll dump your number as soon as they sober up (and I don't know about you, but people tend to look very different in real life than they do in club life: they may not be to your taste once *you* sober up), why not find some activity, voluntary or otherwise that you really enjoy and that involves working with others so that you're not feeling sorry for yourself -- you're having a great time and if you meet someone like-minded, what a wonderful bonus that is. Even if you don't meet anyone at said activity, there's something great about a person who has something& that really interests them to talk about. Just a thought. 2006-06-24 08:14:44
311 1765 Hi It would seem you are on the only one not on the defensive here - I suppose people have taken what I have said to heart rather than listen as you have and be objective. I had no idea that vaginismus was as bad as it is - but then you have a few kids so I guess you managed to work around it ;) I have never been to Yorkshire, drive past it a few times though. It is difficult in this day and age to be fussy; as you will be aware the emphasis is almost on just being with someone and settling for someone. So there are celebs and people that always look good in front of the camera but what I don't understand is rather than work towards a look like that people choose to derisively wave their hand and eat more thinking that they will never look good or be pretty or be thin but it is the striving and the trying that makes the greatness... I like girls to be confident :) [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "LOL, I'm a girl and I have similar problems to you. I'm also in the UK but from up north, lol. I'm a yorkshire lass. Working evenings gets in the way, unmotivated friends who say this and that but never do....others& I have absolutely nothing in common with, some that won't go out anyway, work colleagues are difficult even if they do want to go out because some of us is always working, most people my age (26, about to turn 27) have kids and can't go out because of them....you know the drabble... I'm also really fussy. Still, I have even more reason to be cautious being as I suffer from vaginismus and any bloke who just wants to get& somebody into bed is not going like me very much. In fact, there are probably more blokes out there who'd run a mile from me if they knew I couldn't have IC than there are who wouldn't, I think. Still, you too often can't tell the type until it is too late so I have a bit of a predicament. I'm very untrusting of guys that approach in clubs anyway. I'm quite untrusting generally. Maybe this is what stops them coming up to speak to me. I don't go out actively looking really. Guys only tend to talk to my mates, not me. It doesn't help that I have a really hard time telling what people are saying in places with really loud music. Other people find it much easier than me for some reason. At the same time, I'm one who has to block my ears if an ambulance or police car goes past with the siren on because it hurts my ears so much whereas nobody else seems bothered by it. Maybe the loud music just drowns my ears more than others, I don't know. I can hear voices quite loud when they shout down your ear& but just can't tell what the hell they are saying which really doesn't help when trying to converse with people. After a while, they get tired of& me because nothing they say gets across to me. Sorry,& I haven't given any advice for you but, at least, I know now that others have similar problems, even guys....and you now know that girls can have similar problems too. " 2006-06-24 08:16:14
311 1766 Hi You make an excellent point. I believe the theme here is me and my interests, my friends, where I go etc. You are right, I have dated girls that haven't been what I want typically and I have had great relationships and even gone back on what I've always wanted and so good was the relationship that I've been happy rare though that is. I realise that I need to work a little on myself and getting different friends that I whose attitudes and lives are more likable ergo compatible with my own. I don't think my current job with shifts helps but then some would say I'm just making excuses. Anyways you have given me food for thought. :) Cheers. [user=583]2Clueless[/user] wrote: "Hi there, I'm definitely not pretending to know it all -- I have this handle for a reason. :)& My advice is worth exactly what you find it to be. The first thing I would say is that it sounds like you need better friends, or rather, friends who you feel share more of your outlook and values. If you enjoy them so little, it's time for a reconsideration, methinks. You say you're fussy. I have a question: fussy for what? Everyone has a mental image of what is important to them in another and what I'm asking is: what's really important to you and why? If the most important thing is to have a particular 'look' why? Is it because that's the only look that actually attracts you or because it's the one you'd like to be seen associated with? When you say 'someone who clicks with me', what do you mean? Someone who laughs at your jokes, someone who doesn't contradict you, someone who shares your outlook and values? What? What things are more important, which would you be willing to compromise on and why? Clarifying what you want would help a lot with finding that special girl. To use myself as an example, looks are the least important thing in my mind when looking at guys (though I confess to preferring shorter rather than taller guys -- I like being able to& easily look a person in the eyes), in part because I've come to realise that people don't look good to me just on appearance. People look good to me when I get to know them better and *like* their personality. Personality and character matter a lot to me, particularly what a guy is like under duress, how he treats others around him and they take time to know. Hence all the guys I've dated have been people I've met in daily life and gotten to know and like. I'll have to say that there's nothing *less* attractive than a person who runs down others -- you *know* he'll be slagging you off too the moment he doesn't agree with you and really, who wants a piece of that? Rather than browse round clubs and try chatting up inebriated girls who'll dump your number as soon as they sober up (and I don't know about you, but people tend to look very different in real life than they do in club life: they may not be to your taste once *you* sober up), why not find some activity, voluntary or otherwise that you really enjoy and that involves working with others so that you're not feeling sorry for yourself -- you're having a great time and if you meet someone like-minded, what a wonderful bonus that is. Even if you don't meet anyone at said activity, there's something great about a person who has something& that really interests them to talk about. Just a thought. " 2006-06-24 08:25:30
311 1771 Wow, where in my post did it say I need someone on here to tell me how to control what I am doing for my weight loss?& Just because I'm American does not mean that I eat fast food all the time.& I do watch my portions and I have been eating healthy foods such as fruits and veggies.& I also drink water all the time.& I do not intake any alcohol nor soda (which is the absolute worst for someone's body).& And yes, there are people in our so called "world" that people are overweight because of a disease and they are unable to lose that weight because it's really difficult, Thank Goodness I don't have it, but people are just so shallow and feel the need to say that all overweight people always are the ones to eat too much.& That's not true! And you tell me that your health crap is aimed at me... wow, you definitely aimed at the wrong person.& If I would have asked for diet tips, I would have done that, but in this case I didn't. As for switching off your hunting instinct, it's possible, it can be done, and it has been done.& I always thought I was going to find the perfect guy, but with me searching it didn't do crapola for me.& So I just stopped thinking about it, and viola, I met this guy and started to talk to him at one of my friend's parties and we have been together since.& Maybe you're setting your standards too high. As for what everyone else is saying on here, I really don't like the way you talk either.& You sound stuck up and I can see why you don't have the social/love relationships you have.& Yuck! [user=602]Adam[/user] wrote: "This is what I am talking about though I cannot switch off my hunting instinct - the thing is I have to be interested - as stated - sufficiently in something else that my mind and body is fully engaged so as this hunting deal will be switched off - I'm sure you are not an idiot and can therefore see that something as psychologically based as what I have described isn't as easy and just stopping looking - it just isn't - it is impossible.& Hell, if you don't believe me, just stop breathing. Oh you can't?& Well there you go then.& Yes its extreme but its just a point. Lets do the fuller figure thing - firstly no fuller figured people came out of concentration camps and while is a harsh extreme it is true. Secondly if you want to fat or thin that is fine that is your call it’s great! Eat, don't eat, be happy, I don't care either way - but - don't expect me to date you.& See being fuller or in many cases over weight is not only unhealthy for someone it is dangerous to your health, the amount of rubbish people eat worries me and often they are heading for all kinds of fun stuff as they age - sometimes with histories they need not age for it to affect them. I spend a lot of time keeping fit, eating properly and looking after myself and therefore expect the girl to do the same.& I can be flexible of course and in some cases girls with a nice figure even fuller figure is attractive but I would guess that my version of fuller is much different to someone that actively over eats. For dieting - I would be most interested to know what your diet consists of. You might or might not be surprised to know that the best way to loose weight is just easting right and lots of it - if you eat a lot everyday your body comes to rely on the fact that it needs not store anything because every 2-3 hours you are eating something, start with a good breakfast, no fats, not cooked, wheat oats nuts bran etc there are many choices, then eat fruit until lunch, have a light lunch, include brown bread, fish is good too, then eat more throughout the day until dinner time which can be a cooked meal but don’t eat too late, then you can relax.& Get plenty of water - I drink at least 3 litres a day. Cut out rubbish like candy/sweets snacks and junk food - if you haven't already seen it I recommend a film called Supersize Me there are some excellent fact about what the Americans eat but the film is good overall and the information applies to all people. So cut out the large fries and burgers, watch the carbs and proteins, don’t mix them. Plus, and here is the biggie, do exercise - walk daily at the very least, don’t take elevators, take the stairs.& If you can follow a simple diet plan as this you will be able to lose weight easily but it does take staying power and the ability to say no to yourself where junk food is concerned. This is aimed at you - its just what I believe. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder but again your eye and my eye are very different. ... and of course - no offence intended. [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "Well, like you said...you should stop looking and have it come to you.& Sometimes that's just how it works.& It happens for a lot of people.& You can't really look for something that you do not have. :? Also, blonde hair, is just hair, it has nothing to do with a girl's intelligence. And for the fuller figured ladies out there, it doesn't mean that we all don't take care of ourselves.& I'm a bit overweight, but I am really truly trying to lose the weight.& But there are some people that truly can't help that.& But if it's something you don't like, that's okay. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. " " 2006-06-24 11:35:44
311 1772 Interesting retort - straight to the weight point I see. Can you perhaps provide me a link to an informational site for this disease or at least a name so that I can read up on it? I'm not stuck just very very sure of what I want.& I think you would actually be surprised at what I have had and what I do have.& Remember this - we can all act. But on here I am being honest. You do realise that your body cannot make fat from nothing no matter what disease they have - after all how many people had this 'disease' that came out of any of the German concentration camps? I'd wager zero. Don't forget the link please. & & [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "Wow, where in my post did it say I need someone on here to tell me how to control what I am doing for my weight loss?& Just because I'm American does not mean that I eat fast food all the time.& I do watch my portions and I have been eating healthy foods such as fruits and veggies.& I also drink water all the time.& I do not intake any alcohol nor soda (which is the absolute worst for someone's body).& And yes, there are people in our so called "world" that people are overweight because of a disease and they are unable to lose that weight because it's really difficult, Thank Goodness I don't have it, but people are just so shallow and feel the need to say that all overweight people always are the ones to eat too much.& That's not true! And you tell me that your health crap is aimed at me... wow, you definitely aimed at the wrong person.& If I would have asked for diet tips, I would have done that, but in this case I didn't. As for switching off your hunting instinct, it's possible, it can be done, and it has been done.& I always thought I was going to find the perfect guy, but with me searching it didn't do crapola for me.& So I just stopped thinking about it, and viola, I met this guy and started to talk to him at one of my friend's parties and we have been together since.& Maybe you're setting your standards too high. As for what everyone else is saying on here, I really don't like the way you talk either.& You sound stuck up and I can see why you don't have the social/love relationships you have.& Yuck! [user=602]Adam[/user] wrote: "This is what I am talking about though I cannot switch off my hunting instinct - the thing is I have to be interested - as stated - sufficiently in something else that my mind and body is fully engaged so as this hunting deal will be switched off - I'm sure you are not an idiot and can therefore see that something as psychologically based as what I have described isn't as easy and just stopping looking - it just isn't - it is impossible.& Hell, if you don't believe me, just stop breathing. Oh you can't?& Well there you go then.& Yes its extreme but its just a point. Lets do the fuller figure thing - firstly no fuller figured people came out of concentration camps and while is a harsh extreme it is true. Secondly if you want to fat or thin that is fine that is your call it’s great! Eat, don't eat, be happy, I don't care either way - but - don't expect me to date you.& See being fuller or in many cases over weight is not only unhealthy for someone it is dangerous to your health, the amount of rubbish people eat worries me and often they are heading for all kinds of fun stuff as they age - sometimes with histories they need not age for it to affect them. I spend a lot of time keeping fit, eating properly and looking after myself and therefore expect the girl to do the same.& I can be flexible of course and in some cases girls with a nice figure even fuller figure is attractive but I would guess that my version of fuller is much different to someone that actively over eats. For dieting - I would be most interested to know what your diet consists of. You might or might not be surprised to know that the best way to loose weight is just easting right and lots of it - if you eat a lot everyday your body comes to rely on the fact that it needs not store anything because every 2-3 hours you are eating something, start with a good breakfast, no fats, not cooked, wheat oats nuts bran etc there are many choices, then eat fruit until lunch, have a light lunch, include brown bread, fish is good too, then eat more throughout the day until dinner time which can be a cooked meal but don’t eat too late, then you can relax.& Get plenty of water - I drink at least 3 litres a day. Cut out rubbish like candy/sweets snacks and junk food - if you haven't already seen it I recommend a film called Supersize Me there are some excellent fact about what the Americans eat but the film is good overall and the information applies to all people. So cut out the large fries and burgers, watch the carbs and proteins, don’t mix them. Plus, and here is the biggie, do exercise - walk daily at the very least, don’t take elevators, take the stairs.& If you can follow a simple diet plan as this you will be able to lose weight easily but it does take staying power and the ability to say no to yourself where junk food is concerned. This is aimed at you - its just what I believe. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder but again your eye and my eye are very different. ... and of course - no offence intended. [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "Well, like you said...you should stop looking and have it come to you.& Sometimes that's just how it works.& It happens for a lot of people.& You can't really look for something that you do not have. :? Also, blonde hair, is just hair, it has nothing to do with a girl's intelligence. And for the fuller figured ladies out there, it doesn't mean that we all don't take care of ourselves.& I'm a bit overweight, but I am really truly trying to lose the weight.& But there are some people that truly can't help that.& But if it's something you don't like, that's okay. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. " " " 2006-06-24 11:40:48
311 1773 Hello Adam and welcome :) There is a vast difference between being idealistic and accepting. As you have set your sights on an idea of the perfect partner for you then you need to be thinking in terms of the bigger picture. What sort of place would this girl be seen in? Where would she spend her time? What sort of things would she be into hobby wise? That type of thing. I am not talking clubs or bars, I am thinking more along the daytime social mixture that would make up her lifestyle. One thing about the North and South of the UK is that here in the far North things are very different social wise. People are much much more laid back and meeting people is much easier and to strike up conversations and subsequent meet ups is better. I moved up here from London and would never come back to the south. The lifestyle is way better up here as well. So going back to this woman's lifestyle. Do you have an idea of what sort of things this woman would enjoy - the type of place she may work? That would be a start for you changing your own life. You said that you have already started going to different places. That is a good start and I would stay away from model territory and broaden your social skills as well. You would be very surprised by not looking but concentrating on making your own life more interesting to share with this perfect girl when you do meet her. You will become more interesting, your views may change and your perfect girl may become present right under your nose when you least expect it. I dont think you are desperate at all just unattached. Nothing wrong with being a hunter either but obviously not long term as you describe. Princess 2006-06-24 11:50:28
311 1774 Hello again, lol. I& just wanted to correct you in that I don't have any children and have never been able to engage in IC although vag is curable and I will in future if I work at it and when I finally find a guy to do it with....who is willing to stick around until I can do it. I'm not that far off now, I work with dilators and can insert three out of 4 although vag can't be considered cured until you are able to have IC and you need a bloke for that, lol. I don't really want children anyway, I prefer animals. I'll always have lots of animals rather than have children. These things make it even more difficult to find partners because I couldn't expect any guy to not have kids because I didn't want to have them even if he was willing to go without because of me, I'd have to turn his offer down because he would regret it later and resent me for depriving him of the chance to have kids. I know there are some guys who aren't bothered about having kids either but they are few and far between because I suppose it is more natural to want to have children.& All creatures have a desire to procreate and this applies to humans too but I'm one of the exceptions, I'm afraid. There is no point in me having a child to make somebody else happy. The child would feel my indifference to it and that is even more cruel along with me being made to do something I didn't want to do. I do agree that you need to find a person that suits you rather than just settling for anybody. For those who think that it is shallow to take physical appearance into account at all, those people are defying nature in favour of political correctness. We still have instincts that affect us and what we go for. Physical appearance would be important in determining health and physical quality of a potential partner. One who could pass on good genes to your offspring. This applies to non humans and humans as well. Look at how animals use their physical appearance to attract a mate for example. Would you call them shallow? Obviously, writing a person off just because they have a slightly larger nose or wonky teeth or because they are a few pounds overweight and not taking more important things like personality into account would be classed as shallow. Personality is very important to me. A person can attract me physically but if they don't have an attractive personality to go with it, they'll not make the grade...my own personal grade....one that everybody has for themselves. In the end, even when following instincts, an average joe can still be attractive to "You". I've found myself attracted to people I never imagined I would be. They didn't strike me looks wise although I didn't think they were unnattractive. These guys were guys I tended to spend time with in some way such as work or lifestyle, those I got a better idea about personality and their moral standards where I started off not being attracted to them. There have been guys I met that would be considered very attractive but they didn't attract me. I wasn't struck by their look and, at the same time, I can be struck by somebody who most people would consider as being less attractive than the guy I wasn't attracted to. It is a very funny thing but there does have to be a physical attraction involved. Some people thought my ex wasn't within my league and that I could do better& and I was a little put out by that being as I have a lesser opinion of myself than what other people say they do and also because& my ex was very good to me but we weren't suited for other reasons. My therapist told me I wasn't abnormal when I told her I thought I was too choosy. It seems lots of people are choosy. She said it is normal to want a person with similar standards, likes and dislikes to your own. You can't fit with just anyone. You have to be compatible for it to work out. One thing I'd like to add about the issue of weight is that society is actually promoting overweightness in order to not discriminate against it and has gone as far as discriminating against anybody who is less than slightly overweight. I'm a healthy weight, eat a lot, exercise regularly, I'm slim but have curves like a woman should but people routinely call me "Skinny". I take this as an insult because I would only call people skinny if they were underweight which I am NOT! I don't think people who call me this would call an overweight person "Fat", so why is it ok to call people like me "Skinny"? People who don't know& me and my ravenous appetite would, too often, assume I needed to eat more. My aunt, who doesn't see me that often,& says things like that. I probably eat more than she does. It really annoys me. Either way, it doesn't matter if you are fat or thin, you'll get berated by somebody. I don't think that promoting being overweight is in anybody's best health interests. So many people are trying to detach the issue of health from being overweight and make it a pure vanity issue instead. To me it is not a vanity issue, it is about health. On the other side of the coin, I also hate how designers promote sickly thinness by only using models who are obviously very underweight. If these clothes are meant to end up on normal women in society etc...shouldn't they be modelled on normal women instead of "Sticks"? They say the clothes look better on thin women. If so, why don't they try designing something that looks better on a real womans body because thats what it will actually be worn on in most cases once it hits the high street. Not all models are too bad but some of them have ribs and such sticking out, it can't be right. I also prefer guys to respect their health and bodies. This is partly because if they can't respect themselves and their own bodies, how can they possibly be expected to respect anyone else? Don't get me wrong, I could be perfectly good mates with a guy who sat about all the time stuffing his face if he was, otherwise, fun to be around& but I couldn't be in a sexual& relationship with him. I also wouldn't want some self obsessed health freak who is too undulged with themself to think about anyone else, there is going too far. I had a guy approach me in a club once, turned out he played rugby for the sheffield eagles and he made a point of telling me. All muscled up and obviously a little too much in love with himself. He was good looking but didn't attract me. I turned him away. In fact, I wasn't quite sure what he saw in me...yes, I know thats sad thinking. I do understand about having "Embarrassing", friends. I can't say& I remember having such one myself but, I was out with my mates once and this group of guys came over to talk. One of them was getting married and it was his stag do. He was a decent nice guy but he was with a complete dick who was drunk, needed to brush his teeth because they were vile and made nasty comments about my mates boobs as well. The guy who was with him was apologizing to us for his mates behaviour& and he shouldn't have had to. Is it wrong for somebody to get annoyed with being in the presence of somebody like that? I could understand him perfectly because he cared about how his silly drunken mate was making my mate feel and making us think when he drooled all over us, pestered us to death and made stupid comments about& our mates boobs. Just my 2 cents......or more like 300..lol.:P 2006-06-24 12:01:31
311 1775 It is interesting what you say about the South as it is very harsh and as for this perfect girl I agree the chances are slim of meeting the perfect girl in a bar or club etc.& Chances are that it will be when I'm busy, not looking and just absorbed in my own affairs. [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "Hello Adam and welcome :) There is a vast difference between being idealistic and accepting. As you have set your sights on an idea of the perfect partner for you then you need to be thinking in terms of the bigger picture. What sort of place would this girl be seen in? Where would she spend her time? What sort of things would she be into hobby wise? That type of thing. I am not talking clubs or bars, I am thinking more along the daytime social mixture that would make up her lifestyle. One thing about the North and South of the UK is that here in the far North things are very different social wise. People are much much more laid back and meeting people is much easier and to strike up conversations and subsequent meet ups is better. I moved up here from London and would never come back to the south. The lifestyle is way better up here as well. So going back to this woman's lifestyle. Do you have an idea of what sort of things this woman would enjoy - the type of place she may work? That would be a start for you changing your own life. You said that you have already started going to different places. That is a good start and I would stay away from model territory and broaden your social skills as well. You would be very surprised by not looking but concentrating on making your own life more interesting to share with this perfect girl when you do meet her. You will become more interesting, your views may change and your perfect girl may become present right under your nose when you least expect it. I dont think you are desperate at all just unattached. Nothing wrong with being a hunter either but obviously not long term as you describe. Princess" 2006-06-24 12:25:23
311 1776 [user=602]Adam[/user] wrote: "My attitude is exaggerated here to prove my point.& There is nothing wrong in having an in mind what I want in a girl.& I am of course willing to accept certain things but not others.& Again I have soon too many people in miserable marriages, unhappy with their lives because they settled for someone or didn't realise who they were when they got married and then ended up in some awful depressing situation that neither have the courage to get out of. Take friend 1, he is so needy and so is his girlfriend that they will never break up because they need each other to an unhealthy extent. It is unhealthy to spend so much time with one person without having the necessary personal space. I appreciate your honest however. When I do go out with friend 1 minus extra limb then we have a pretty good time and is it really too much to ask to see a guy I have know for over 20 years alone occasionally? I think not. But it would seem it is his choice to spend his life whipped and that isn't my choice but I am forced to accept it. A little unfair don’t you think? But then what is my choice? Back to the type - few girls actually turn me on or at least keep me stimulated mentally because I am just too unique a person. At 29 I'm more suited to girls who are several years my senior and at my age and above generally speaking girls have 'been there, done that' and most have the t-shirts or more likely kids or are divorcees. I don't want that - I want a girl that as issue free as the situation will allow. [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: "I'm sorry but I find your attitude completely and obviously self-defeating.& If you have this image of what the perfect girl is, here is the painfully cliche fact: you're never going to find her because she doesn't exist. I am not saying go out with any girl but instead of letting the criteria be this ideal in your head, let it be whether you have fun with her, whether she makes you feel happy and excited when she is around, and whether she turns you on (last one seperates the friends from the, well, girlfriends ;))... if not then by all means drop it, but if so,& you might have a 1-day or a 1-week thing or it might just last a little bit longer but you would've had fun. " " Point 1: peope don't get divorced or break up because they settled for something less than they wanted... more likely they wanted something different in the past and things changed... or they wanted certain things but in reality they needed something else. Point2: if both your friend and his gf (or wife?) are needy and they seem to enjoy each other, why is it unhealthy? The situation might be unhealthy for you (me too, come to think of it ) but if their neediness makes them both happy till the day they die then it's their thing.& & Unless your friend is actually complaining about this... in any case, it is unfair for you Point3: There is nothing wrong in having ideas about how you want your woman.& For example, I wouldn't want a short guy where as a girl friend of mine seems to fancy only short men.& I was just saying try not to look for the 'relationship' girl (that's a long order), look for a 'right now' girl to have fun with... you never know and at least you'd be having fun along the way.& Try the internet, people feel awkward trying it (at least my friends) but I think it is great.& I've made some cool friends that i would've never met otherwise.& And, you can take your sweet time replying and chatting, so that by the time you actually meet the person, you know each other a bit more.& Just a suggestion Finally, are you sure you want a girl with little issues? just my opinion but that sounds boring.& You might see your friends/people fighting and it doesn't look pretty, but you probably don't see the hot sex afterwards that makes it worth it. ;)& I would never want a relationship that is mostly smooth going.& I would miss the after-a-fight sex too much:dude:. Good luck with the hunting! PS.& I wouldn't mind seeing a photo 2006-06-24 12:41:35
311 1777 Nah, there is no such thing as the perfect girl or guy. I think people get mixed up between a perfect girl or guy& and a girl or guy that is compatible with you along with having the ability to attract you physically. There will always be little quirks present that might annoy or not be the liking of the other party but in a compatible couple, these would not be enough to drive that couple apart. & 2006-06-24 12:41:40
311 1778 [user=602]Adam[/user] wrote: "It is interesting what you say about the South as it is very harsh and as for this perfect girl I agree the chances are slim of meeting the perfect girl in a bar or club etc. Chances are that it will be when I'm busy, not looking and just absorbed in my own affairs." Yes Adam, that is absolutely how magic strikes - when you least expect it! sorry I sounded so harsh about the South over the North. I did mean it when I said that I would never come back there to live though because of the quality of life up here in the North. I am talking North of Darlington up to the Scottish Borders. I love it up here. People are just different and that whole community spirit thing still exists as well. From my own point of view I like a guy to have something up top rather than just looks. If they are not intellectually stimulating me then it just does not work. I love that mischievous wicked playful mind too :) Princess 2006-06-24 13:29:52
311 1779 I hear you about the north/south divide and it seems to be worsening. As for the looking thing that goes back to what I was saying because it is completely instinctive to keep looking so I am always looking and will therefore never find anyone because I wont allow them to come to me... And I always expect to meet someone... Again another thing is that the girls down here are so dismissive that guys rarely get a chance to even get close to talk -& either I'm not good to look at or don't come across as confident or what ever reasons. Very annoying - but then I have loads tos say and tons to talk about with many stories and life experience but only for the right girl :) [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "[user=602]Adam[/user] wrote: "It is interesting what you say about the South as it is very harsh and as for this perfect girl I agree the chances are slim of meeting the perfect girl in a bar or club etc.& Chances are that it will be when I'm busy, not looking and just absorbed in my own affairs." Yes Adam, that is absolutely how magic strikes - when you least expect it! sorry I sounded so harsh about the South over the North. I did mean it when I said that I would never come back there to live though because of the quality of life up here in the North. I am talking North of Darlington up to the Scottish Borders. I love it up here. People are just different and that whole community spirit thing still exists as well. From my own point of view I like a guy to have something up top rather than just looks. If they are not intellectually stimulating me then it just does not work. I love that mischievous wicked playful mind too :) Princess" 2006-06-24 13:51:30
311 1780 [user=602]Adam[/user] wrote: "I hear you about the north/south divide and it seems to be worsening. As for the looking thing that goes back to what I was saying because it is completely instinctive to keep looking so I am always looking and will therefore never find anyone because I wont allow them to come to me... And I always expect to meet someone... Again another thing is that the girls down here are so dismissive that guys rarely get a chance to even get close to talk -& either I'm not good to look at or don't come across as confident or what ever reasons. Very annoying - but then I have loads tos say and tons to talk about with many stories and life experience but only for the right girl :) [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "[user=602]Adam[/user] wrote: "It is interesting what you say about the South as it is very harsh and as for this perfect girl I agree the chances are slim of meeting the perfect girl in a bar or club etc.& Chances are that it will be when I'm busy, not looking and just absorbed in my own affairs." Yes Adam, that is absolutely how magic strikes - when you least expect it! sorry I sounded so harsh about the South over the North. I did mean it when I said that I would never come back there to live though because of the quality of life up here in the North. I am talking North of Darlington up to the Scottish Borders. I love it up here. People are just different and that whole community spirit thing still exists as well. From my own point of view I like a guy to have something up top rather than just looks. If they are not intellectually stimulating me then it just does not work. I love that mischievous wicked playful mind too :) Princess" " Well, with all due respect, what's there to be surprised about? Other than there being no reasonable expectation that a person show interest in you simply because *you* have, it's pretty much a part of the nature of a club scene. You defend your right to make primarily image-based selection and girls, too have the right& and ability to do the same and just as some won't make the cut with you, the same goes the other way. Nothing unfair about it at all. With the noise and nature of clubs, actually sitting and talking to a person is not very easy and image-based selection is going to be the most favoured strategy.& People who will& come out best in this scene will be& those who fit whatever image the celebrity trash mags are currently pushing and those who don't will do worse in proportion to the extent of their deviation. It is also very possible, no, probable that people who succeed in fitting this image will be even *more* pre-selected than the already image-selective club audience to seek someone who fits that image. So if you're not a total hunk, you may be in for a bit of a slog. Just pointing out that there's two sides to the game and it's not good fussiness when you do it but bad dismissiveness when others do it. 2006-06-24 17:15:21
311 1781 I have to agree about not being able to converse in loud places and all that. In the end, loud pubs and clubs aren't the best places to find soulmates. Still, I see people getting attention who certainly don't fit the celebrity ideal so it's not all about going for the hunks and model material. 2006-06-24 18:23:59
311 1785 [user=602]Adam[/user] wrote: "Perhaps it is to do with my attitude and perhaps it is not.& It seems almost illegal to stand up for what I want - tell you what - take a look around today's society and tell me if the break up rate has increased, if divorce is up and still on the up.& Perhaps it is because that people settle or rush into things but either way you have to admit there is a fundamental problem with society - perhaps the problem isn't me at all perhaps it is the way society expects us to be" I don't think anyone is telling you not to want what you want.& It's common sense that you should be attracted to someone you are involved with.& As for the divorce business, I think that's a pretty uninformed and speculative argument on your part. "I think you've missed the point about your blame comment - it is not my intention to blame anyone else, granted I do slate my so called friends but then that was informational to highlight my current life style ignore the fact that I have said about them what I have it is merely to say that because of who they are I either don't get to go out much with them by their choice or I end up with someone who offends women.& You also said that I am mocking friend 2 for having unrealistic standards - not so.& He IS unrealistic of course you only have my painted picture of him but that aside, I do respect women, that isn't the issue.& If you read what I wrote you will see that it is the attitudes I don't like. " Whether you necessarily blame them (and you did blame them in your first post) is beside the point.& Your attitude toward your friends, at least as portrayed by you here, is one of resentment and condescension - you flat out called your friends losers.& You act like your friends are holding you back.& Your gripes about your second friend, the largest section of your three listed friends, dealt far more with how poorly he dresses and how he won't go drinking with you (a very healthy choice that someone as supposedly health-conscious as you claim to be should appreciate, not condemn) rather than his apparent lack of respect towards women.& If you trash-talk your friends behind their backs, that indicates a particularly bad attitude on your part.& "& The problem with my area is that the emphasis is all on image, how you look, what you do, what you say. So the area isn't ideal " Yet you "won't date fat chicks".& I can appreciate being attracted to certain features and being turned off by others, but a blanket statement as tactless as "I won't date you if you're fat" makes you as superficial as the people in your area that you condemn.& That may be the problem in your area and you seem to be contributing your fair share.& The fact that looks are a deal breaker for you while you condemn the women in your area for doing the exact same thing is precisely why I called you a hypocrite. You seem to think the rules don't apply to you.& If you want a woman who doesn't make final decisions based on physical traits, you have to stop doing the same. "& I am now going to different places socially. Back to the romantic interest in me I doubt whether even you have the skill I have in hunting - I'm not here to boast and so won't but I am merely stating that this isn't my sole driving factor and I am not some fat guy who can't get laid - as if goes I have plenty of interest but as I have said, I am choosey. " You say you aren't here to boast in the very same sentence that you claim to have superior hunting skills, based solely on my few-setence response to you (in which I mentioned nothing about myself).& Yeah, I think that's boasting. That said, on one hand you talk about having these great skills and having a lot of women interested in you that simply aren't up to your standards, and on the other hand you talk about women sensing your desperation and they won't call you back even though you gave them your number.& If you're so skilled, why are you so desperate that you scare the girls away?& & And here you go again with your superficiality, by the way.& Your first point of defense is "I'm not some fat guy that can't get laid".& & You must understand that if a woman thinks you look down on everyone (which you certainly seem to be doing), and that you'll probably leave her if she ever gains weight, they aren't going to come crawling to your door. Having known a few supremely arrogant and superficial people in my days, I can say that such a bad attitude shines through even when the person tries to hide it. 2006-06-25 08:02:38
311 1788 Adam, it's called Usher's syndrome.& People tend to have the weight gain towards their middle part of their body.& You can look it up.& I gave you what it's called. And what does this have to do with the ceoncetration camps of Germany? I truly don't get how you pulled that out of what I was talking about? If you're not stuck, then why did you say you were, previously? [user=602]Adam[/user] wrote:& "Interesting retort - straight to the weight point I see. Can you perhaps provide me a link to an informational site for this disease or at least a name so that I can read up on it? I'm not stuck just very very sure of what I want.& I think you would actually be surprised at what I have had and what I do have.& Remember this - we can all act. But on here I am being honest. You do realise that your body cannot make fat from nothing no matter what disease they have - after all how many people had this 'disease' that came out of any of the German concentration camps? I'd wager zero. Don't forget the link please. & """ 2006-06-25 23:04:10
311 1796 I thought Usher's syndrome was to do with hearing and vision? I already knew about usher's syndrome and was confused when you said it was to do with weight so I googled it but couldn't find any reference to it having anything to do with weight, it just talked about hearing and eyesight. Still, talking of weight, I know people who are overweight but they eat healthily and might even exercise although they probably don't exercise enough and some people are unable to exercise due to other problems like severe arthritis and such. Stopping smoking and& hystorecomy's can cause weight gain. My mum and a work colleague both suffered that problem. Both used to smoke and both had hystorectomy's and both are now bigger in physique. My mum, I would attribute as being a little lazy although she does have arthritis, she will play it up so that she doesn't have to do anything she can't be bothered to do....like walk just down the road to my nans which is only a stones throw away, she takes the car...:X The colleague at work eats very healthily and works full time but still can't lose weight. She can't eat chocolate or anything with milk because she is allergic to it anyway. I can't say anything bad about people who still look after themselves despite not being slim. It's when people stuff their faces and sit about watching TV or playing game consoles all their lives that annoy me then they whinge about their weight. A few hundred years ago, hardly anybody was overweight simply because there wasn't the rich junk food that there is now and also because there was no sitting about doing nothing all day for most people. The few who did because they were rich etc...would often end up with gout or whatever they call it. Still, the general population were not overweight, practically everyone was slim back then because of lifestyle. People who are overweight due to a medical condition are comparitively rare compared to people who are overweight simply because they eat too much and exercise too little. In the U.K, they are worried about how many children are becoming obese. Many of their parents go into denial and refuse to believe their kids are overweight which stems down from the original sin of not accepting a fat person. It is going too far now and it doesn't do people any favours in the long run. These kids risk serious health problems when they grow up, some before they even grow up, because of their weight. There is no point in people constantly walking on eggshells about this or other such issues because they are too scared of offending when so many peoples lives and health are at risk. It's like rubbish parents who blame the fact that& their kids bad behaviour on all these stupid attention deficit hyperactivity disorders and all the rest when it just boils down to the kid being brought up too soft with no discipline. J.K Rowling, the author of Harry Potter made a comment saying she hoped her daughters wouldn't end up wanting to be skeletons like these emaciated models and such. She was then slammed because none of the main heroes in her stories are fat. I mean, how ridiculous. They want people to go as far as promoting being overweight which is bad for peoples health just so that people who are presently overweight don't feel offended and to prove that this person doesn't condone starving one's self into a skeletal state. Is it really the right thing to do? Yes, bigger people should be accepted and not treated badly because of their weight but to actually go around promoting it is really not the best thing to do. I don't think that many big people would think it was a good idea for more people to put on too much weight either. The characters in her story are not emaciated like the models and celebs she was talking about, they are of normal weight and now a normal weight is being made out to be a sin in itself because it offends fat people. I hear fat people saying they hate people like me because I can eat what I like and not put on weight. Thats discriminating and hating me just because I am slim and can eat what I want. Is it not as bad as slim& people who slam fat people? I saw an article in a newspaper a while ago with 5 women who were naturally slim but yearned to be bigger. Some of them did look quite thin, I admit, but some looked pretty& usual to me with curves and such. These women couldn't put on weight no matter what they tried. They just wanted to be a bit more curvy. They also hated the comments they recieved, people looking at them horribly because they were thin or making nasty comments accusing them of having an eating disorder or something and also assuming, because they were thin, that they must also have horrible personalities, be vain and look down on others. They got called skinny..like people call me.....It's no worse than the prejudice that fat people can recieve. Those who slam the slim people who are not underweight and don't have an eating disorder are usually just sour and jealous. Those who do have eating disorders can do without the cruel remarks, they need help whether it be a starving type disorder that causes weight loss or a comfort eating type disorder that causes weight gain. In the end, people have to face the reality of things. We all have to face our own crap realities. If it is not to do with weight, it will be something else. There are two sides to the coin regarding the issue of weight and neither is pretty when it witnesses the opposite side getting ratty. I know some really lovely big people and I wouldn't have them any other way although I would support anybody who chose to try and lose weight, I would not encourage them unless it was them that wanted to do it and requested my encouragement. In the end, it's only their health that matters to me, not how they look but people have to make their own decision. In fact, when I see quite slim people dieting, it annoys me because they don't need to diet and diets don't work anyway. Diets are more stressful on the body than being overweight as well. I have another colleague who practically starves herself, misses breakfast and works a whole 8 hours with just a yogurt and small cereal bar which is just plain stupid. I'm always lecturing her about starving herself. I don't think she's fat but even if she was, I'd rather her stay that way than risk her health even more by adopting such a dangerous way of eating. When it comes to weight and sexual attraction, there are some people who only like big partners. They don't like thin people. There are some men who desire sickly thin women but most men go for a slim but curvy figure but then this is an inbuilt instinctive decision based around finding a partner of the best health and fitness...survival of the fittest so the speak....it doesn't come from plain old shallowness, it comes from millions of years of evolution and is probably why we still exist today....otherwise we could've died out a looooong time ago before we became so advanced. & & 2006-06-26 13:21:30
311 1800 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "I thought Usher's syndrome was to do with hearing and vision? I already knew about usher's syndrome and was confused when you said it was to do with weight so I googled it but couldn't find any reference to it having anything to do with weight, it just talked about hearing and eyesight. Still, talking of weight, I know people who are overweight but they eat healthily and might even exercise although they probably don't exercise enough and some people are unable to exercise due to other problems like severe arthritis and such. Stopping smoking and& hystorecomy's can cause weight gain. My mum and a work colleague both suffered that problem. Both used to smoke and both had hystorectomy's and both are now bigger in physique. My mum, I would attribute as being a little lazy although she does have arthritis, she will play it up so that she doesn't have to do anything she can't be bothered to do....like walk just down the road to my nans which is only a stones throw away, she takes the car...:X The colleague at work eats very healthily and works full time but still can't lose weight. She can't eat chocolate or anything with milk because she is allergic to it anyway. I can't say anything bad about people who still look after themselves despite not being slim. It's when people stuff their faces and sit about watching TV or playing game consoles all their lives that annoy me then they whinge about their weight. A few hundred years ago, hardly anybody was overweight simply because there wasn't the rich junk food that there is now and also because there was no sitting about doing nothing all day for most people. The few who did because they were rich etc...would often end up with gout or whatever they call it. Still, the general population were not overweight, practically everyone was slim back then because of lifestyle. People who are overweight due to a medical condition are comparitively rare compared to people who are overweight simply because they eat too much and exercise too little. In the U.K, they are worried about how many children are becoming obese. Many of their parents go into denial and refuse to believe their kids are overweight which stems down from the original sin of not accepting a fat person. It is going too far now and it doesn't do people any favours in the long run. These kids risk serious health problems when they grow up, some before they even grow up, because of their weight. There is no point in people constantly walking on eggshells about this or other such issues because they are too scared of offending when so many peoples lives and health are at risk. It's like rubbish parents who blame the fact that& their kids bad behaviour on all these stupid attention deficit hyperactivity disorders and all the rest when it just boils down to the kid being brought up too soft with no discipline. J.K Rowling, the author of Harry Potter made a comment saying she hoped her daughters wouldn't end up wanting to be skeletons like these emaciated models and such. She was then slammed because none of the main heroes in her stories are fat. I mean, how ridiculous. They want people to go as far as promoting being overweight which is bad for peoples health just so that people who are presently overweight don't feel offended and to prove that this person doesn't condone starving one's self into a skeletal state. Is it really the right thing to do? Yes, bigger people should be accepted and not treated badly because of their weight but to actually go around promoting it is really not the best thing to do. I don't think that many big people would think it was a good idea for more people to put on too much weight either. The characters in her story are not emaciated like the models and celebs she was talking about, they are of normal weight and now a normal weight is being made out to be a sin in itself because it offends fat people. I hear fat people saying they hate people like me because I can eat what I like and not put on weight. Thats discriminating and hating me just because I am slim and can eat what I want. Is it not as bad as slim& people who slam fat people? I saw an article in a newspaper a while ago with 5 women who were naturally slim but yearned to be bigger. Some of them did look quite thin, I admit, but some looked pretty& usual to me with curves and such. These women couldn't put on weight no matter what they tried. They just wanted to be a bit more curvy. They also hated the comments they recieved, people looking at them horribly because they were thin or making nasty comments accusing them of having an eating disorder or something and also assuming, because they were thin, that they must also have horrible personalities, be vain and look down on others. They got called skinny..like people call me.....It's no worse than the prejudice that fat people can recieve. Those who slam the slim people who are not underweight and don't have an eating disorder are usually just sour and jealous. Those who do have eating disorders can do without the cruel remarks, they need help whether it be a starving type disorder that causes weight loss or a comfort eating type disorder that causes weight gain. In the end, people have to face the reality of things. We all have to face our own crap realities. If it is not to do with weight, it will be something else. There are two sides to the coin regarding the issue of weight and neither is pretty when it witnesses the opposite side getting ratty. I know some really lovely big people and I wouldn't have them any other way although I would support anybody who chose to try and lose weight, I would not encourage them unless it was them that wanted to do it and requested my encouragement. In the end, it's only their health that matters to me, not how they look but people have to make their own decision. In fact, when I see quite slim people dieting, it annoys me because they don't need to diet and diets don't work anyway. Diets are more stressful on the body than being overweight as well. I have another colleague who practically starves herself, misses breakfast and works a whole 8 hours with just a yogurt and small cereal bar which is just plain stupid. I'm always lecturing her about starving herself. I don't think she's fat but even if she was, I'd rather her stay that way than risk her health even more by adopting such a dangerous way of eating. When it comes to weight and sexual attraction, there are some people who only like big partners. They don't like thin people. There are some men who desire sickly thin women but most men go for a slim but curvy figure but then this is an inbuilt instinctive decision based around finding a partner of the best health and fitness...survival of the fittest so the speak....it doesn't come from plain old shallowness, it comes from millions of years of evolution and is probably why we still exist today....otherwise we could've died out a looooong time ago before we became so advanced. & & "I remember my mom and I were reading about it before because my Grandmom was almost diagnosed with it.& One of the symptoms of having Usher's has to do with middle section weight gain, and the roundness of someone's face. I don't remember the site we were reading off of, but I really do remember reading that, I am not making it up. 2006-06-26 14:21:07
311 1804 I wouldn't assume you were making it up, I just never heard of it having anything to do with weight but then& I can't say I really looked into it in any depth. So you have Usher's syndrome? I suppose your hearing and sight are affected in some way then? & 2006-06-26 16:55:55
311 1807 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "I wouldn't assume you were making it up, I just never heard of it having anything to do with weight but then& I can't say I really looked into it in any depth. So you have Usher's syndrome? I suppose your hearing and sight are affected in some way then? & "Oh I wasn't thinking you were assuming. No, I do not have it.& But I was just saying that there are people out there in our world that have an illness or two that make them overweight. I've been thick all my life.& But I'm trying to change that.& And I just didn't appreciated how he approached the topic with me.& It was rude. 2006-06-27 00:10:05
311 1809 Ok, you mean you'd like to lose a bit off the middle then? I thought I'd mention an idea to you then if you're after some. Have you heard of acu-hoops or heavy hoops? They are like hula hoops but larger and heavier. They are very good for the middle, waste, hips and thighs etc.... I know you can easily buy heavy hoops over in the US but here in the UK,& it was only the acu hoop I was able to get but either will do. Google them to find out more info. They are great and it's generally known how hula hooping is good for the waste. I bought one just to tone up a little more and I don't have to use it long, just 15 mins a day is enough and most people can fit that into their schedule. The acu hoop has these acu-ball things along the inside of it and they can take a bit of getting used to if you are slim because they tickle and hurt a& little& at the same time when you first go to do it but I'm ok now. My mum who's a lot bigger found that they felt nice on her. I find if I try to make the hoop go as fast as possible, it really is a work out, lol. They don't recommend replacing other forms of exercise with these but they are definitely worth adding to whatever you currently do. I walk& everyday with the dogs and also train in martial arts which keeps me trim but as the dogs are getting old now...and slow...and can't walk as far...I can't rely as much on them anymore as I used to be able to. If you can't hula hoop right now, it's easy enough to learn. I only learnt a few years ago, could never do it as a kid but nobody& explained to& me properly about how to do it. The Heavier ones are much easier to keep up and going than lighter traditional ones as well. I suppose once you are good at it, you could do it naked for your BF, HAHA. Imagine swinging the hips about in the buff for him, he'd love it, lol.:D They say that weight around the middle is more dangerous than weight on the hips and bum because it surrounding major organs and such. Even though my mum is on the larger side now, she always retained a waste to an extent because she used to hula hoop for hours when she was younger. I've only had my acu-hoop for a few weeks but I already notice improvements so I think it was worth it. 2006-06-27 10:49:42
311 1810 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "If you can't hula hoop right now, it's easy enough to learn. I only learnt a few years ago, could never do it as a kid but nobody& explained to& me properly about how to do it. The Heavier ones are much easier to keep up and going than lighter traditional ones as well. I suppose once you are good at it, you could do it naked for your BF, HAHA. Imagine swinging the hips about in the buff for him, he'd love it, lol.:D They say that weight around the middle is more dangerous than weight on the hips and bum because it surrounding major organs and such. Even though my mum is on the larger side now, she always retained a waste to an extent because she used to hula hoop for hours when she was younger. I've only had my acu-hoop for a few weeks but I already notice improvements so I think it was worth it. "I used to own a hula-hoop when I was younger and never was able to do it right.& I try now, and fail.& I know it's all in the hips, but... I just can't master it. 2006-06-27 11:33:16
311 1811 What people never told me is that you have to "feel" the hoop and move your hips accordingly. It's not a case of just swinging them back and forth and hoping the hoop will stay up which is what I always did because nobody told me different, you have to use& your waist and hips& to fling the hoop outwards so to speak, creating a centrifugal force. If& I feel the hoop going downwards, I stick my bum out, bend my legs a little& and exaggerate the movement until it has lifted back up again.& I was 22 when I finally learnt how to do it because I was seeing my ex at the time. I could never do it before then. If you get a small hoop of some kind and use your arm to make it go round, you can figure out that feel, how your body movement keeps it going. Heavier hoops are better for creating& centrifugal force and making them stay up than lighter ones. It's definitely worth learning even if you learn first with a cheaper lighter hoop before getting a heavier one. 2006-06-27 14:53:48
311 1812 I guess, I never really thought about "feeling" the hoop.& I know I've done it on my arm when I was younger because I couldnt' do it on my waist.& I'm trying to think of a place that would sell them.& hmm... 2006-06-28 09:18:54
311 1813 I know I found an online site that sold the heavy hoop in the U.S. If you do a google search, you'd probably find them. Other than that, sports stores and such places will probably do them. Heavy hoops have, apparently, become quite popular over there. 2006-06-28 10:00:07
311 1820 Thank you for all of your help. :) 2006-06-29 19:28:53
311 1832 ufff, the attitude man, I'm not trying to flame you but I don't think you'll get far. Firstly, you should think better of your mates. I have a friend that is seen by many as a loser, a nerd but I hang out with him because he appreciates it, more than the numerous posers I meet in clubs. People don't think I am uncool because of it, infact I often get positive comments from the ladies about it. I've been trying to help this guy for ages and recently he got a girlfriend.The two of us went out to celebrate and got completely smashed in town. Secondly, you say that you have few mates, that's all the more reason to take care of the ones you have. Cultivate your social circle and it will grow. Your friends will introduce you to their friends etc and they will introduce you to women too. I know this from personal experience. My family has been moving around all my childhood. Because of my fathers job I lived in 3 countries and 6 cities. Each time I had to start from scratch. Make new friends meet new people find new girlfriends etc..I repeat this again: value the friends you have, respect people and it will come back to you.People sense things like that, you may try to hide it but others will feel it!your friends probably feel how you feel about them and maybe thats why they dont hang out with you that often. A good way for a guy to get more mates is joining a sports club. Try it. Another tip: you say you are picky, in that case you should realise that the most attractive girls out there are constantly 'hunted' by guys like you and they can see right through you, especially in places as predictable as night clubs......it most likely bores them. You have to be a bit different than the army of clones trying to pick em up. Don't be too picky . You can't tell everything about somebody by just looking at them. You may find other qualities that will appeal to you. I dont deny that looks are very important,they are! I also agree that clubs are generally poor places to get to know people. Lastly and most importantly: don't give up. I found the love of my life by total accident, definately not where I was looking. I am not claiming to be an expert on anything, Im just sharing my experiences with you. 2006-07-02 21:19:45
313 1755 I was talking to my friend today, and her and her boyfriend had unprotected sex the other day and she said she just got off her period the day previous, and now she's scared she's going to be pregnant.& I know there's always that risk, but isn't a woman usually the least fertile then, at that time of the month?& I tried searching the site, and I couldn't find anything on it.& Unless I was just looking in the wrong place. I just would like some feedback so I could just be there for my friend through this stressful time. 2006-06-23 21:03:18
313 1756 Hi, Please see the Q&A linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_2.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_2.htm Brad 2006-06-23 21:31:31
313 1757 Thanks Brad.& Wish I could tell her better news than her being in the unsafe zone. 2006-06-23 22:24:44
313 1758 Hi If she usually has longer periods (28 or more days) she's more likely to be safe.& Women with shorter periods (like 21 or 25 days) become fertile at the end of their period or almost immediately.& This is of course assuming she's having healthy periods.& Women ovulate around 14 days before the start of their next period, so in a short cycle, she becomes fertile quickly after or during the period.& & You're fertile typically for around 5 days before you ovulate. Another thing she could try is to see if she has cervical fluid or not (is her vagina dry?) if she has any sort of discharge (other than the lubrication from being aroused...).& A wet vagina could indicate that she's fertile and that her cervix is producing cervical fluid which could keep sperm alive for days.& In a dry cervix/vagina, sperm won't live more than a few hours and she'd be safe 2006-06-24 03:32:06
313 1768 [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: "Hi If she usually has longer periods (28 or more days) she's more likely to be safe.& Women with shorter periods (like 21 or 25 days) become fertile at the end of their period or almost immediately.& This is of course assuming she's having healthy periods.& Women ovulate around 14 days before the start of their next period, so in a short cycle, she becomes fertile quickly after or during the period.& & You're fertile typically for around 5 days before you ovulate. Another thing she could try is to see if she has cervical fluid or not (is her vagina dry?) if she has any sort of discharge (other than the lubrication from being aroused...).& A wet vagina could indicate that she's fertile and that her cervix is producing cervical fluid which could keep sperm alive for days.& In a dry cervix/vagina, sperm won't live more than a few hours and she'd be safe "She says her cycle is about 36-40 days... I asked her about the dryness factor and she said she's been pretty dry. Thank you very much Kay. She'll have at least a little bit more hope. 2006-06-24 11:25:03
313 1789 Hi, The following Q&A addresses cervical fluids: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8.htm#3 Brad 2006-06-25 23:47:02
313 1799 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, The following Q&A addresses cervical fluids: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8.htm#3] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8.htm#3 Brad " & Thank you, I will forward that to her. 2006-06-26 14:17:45
313 1838 In my opinion unprotected sex is not a good idea if you do not want to have children yet. I remember having sex with my girlfriend for a long time and staying inside her for a while after I came. Bad idea!My penis went soft and I lost the condom with all its contents inside her! I can guarantee you that no one has ever had a paler and more terrified face then me the moment I took my penis out and thought: oh fuck!where is the condom!!! luckily there are crisis pills which are widely available in pharmacies. But, if she did not take one then.....tough luck. 2006-07-03 08:20:56
313 1840 Oh definitely.& I'm not saying that unprotected sex is good for anyone.& Usually she's good with using condoms, and it was just that one time.& And I know that is all that it takes for one to get pregnant.& She's very aware of that. From what she told me, she said he felt like he was going to cum, so he quickly withdrew and then he ejaculated all over the sheets. I have had a friend lose a condom inside her before.& It slipped off her bf and from him thrusting, it kept pushing the condom in.& They completely got scared, and had a hard time retrieving the condom. 2006-07-03 20:23:34
313 1841 A couple of years ago, I'd be completely mortified at the prospect of having a condom get& stuck inside me because I wouldn't dare try and get it out and wouldn't want anybody else trying either& but I have gotten so used to poking my fingers around in there now because of the vag that I'd probably not get very scared now. When I'm not aroused, I can easily feel my cervix when I insert my finger so I'm sure I'd get it out easy enough after waiting for the vagina to return to normal and I'm sure it wouldn't waste it's time if I was sitting there worrying about a lost condom stuck inside it, haha. 2006-07-04 11:50:30
313 1842 Hi, I get many e-mails from young women who are terrified they may be pregnant. Some were simple accidents, or the chances are very small, but they are about to pop a blood vessel. Seldom can I say there is a ZERO chance of pregnancy, which doesn't help them at all. Sometimes I have to ask them how sex can possibly be enjoyable for them if they are so worried about becoming pregnant.& Is all the anxiety worth the benefits? Most young people don't understand conception and birth control, and know more false information than facts. :( Brad 2006-07-04 19:42:18
313 1844 I have to agree there. Why people go and have unprotected sex like that and then decide, afterwards, to worry like hell over whether they are pregnant or not is beyond me. They should think about it before going and doing it. It also causes terminations to start being used simply as a contraception method which is totally wrong. I'm not against terminations and believe women have a right to choose what happens to& their own bodies& but they shouldn't be used as a contraceptive simply& because people can't be bothered to use any other form to prevent pregnancy in the first place. I agree that conception and reproduction have been detached from casual& sex in our society. 2006-07-05 10:00:39
313 1847 I couldn't agree with you more.& I remember when I was in high school there was a girl that was constantly getting abortions because she kept getting pregnant.& It's unfortunate someone must do that.& Then that person will find out that she'll have trouble conceiving because she's ruined her reproductive organs. 2006-07-06 17:43:33
313 1861 Hi, A TV show some years back was saying abortion was the common form of birth control in Russia :( Brad 2006-07-08 03:29:42
313 1864 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: "Hi, A TV show some years back was saying abortion was the common form of birth control in Russia :( Brad " that is scary stuff :( Princess 2006-07-08 08:29:21
313 1865 Yes, I read that in More magazine quite a few years ago. In Russia, men will not wear condoms and see it as a womans responsibility to terminate a pregancy when it happens. There was a whole article on it. There was a photo of one woman who'd had numerous abortions...expected to engage in sex....living in very poor deprived areas where the pill might not be available or affordable...the abortions carried lots of risk because they were dirty places they went to etc.... All very pathetic and sick. Princess. If you can get hold of a copy of the daily mail from today, it has a article in it about this pathetic chav called keith who has fathered 7 babies to 7 mothers. He's 21 years old and his first was born when he was 15. He doesn't support or see any of them..dumps the girl when she falls pregnant...doesn't see why he should have to contribute or pay for the baby and sees it as a womans responsibility to make sure she doesn't get pregnant whilst, at the same time, refusing to wear a condom...because he doesn't like wearing them. He lives on job seekers allowance, doesn't look for work and spends his cash on slot machines at the local arcade, booze or computer games which he sits playing all the time. A total loser. He isn't even anything much to look at. He was the one who went to the press too to boast about his so called achievements......:? 2006-07-08 09:22:30
313 1869 Thanks saw the article. Just makes me wonder what on earth or rather how on earth he made it through the school system only years ago. What did he learn? Certainly not responsibility or sex education! Princess 2006-07-08 20:16:42
313 1874 Hi, Obviously his peers have not rejected him for his unacceptable(?) behavior, or beat the snot out of him for being an a**. Whats up with the seven women who obviously approve of being in his stable? Has he got 12 inches or what? :P I know there are communities in the US where men brag about how many children they have and the women don't hold them responsible. The same communities where there are 18-year-old women with two children from different fathers. Brad 2006-07-09 00:33:22
313 1876 I'm not sure all of these girls knew about his track record. I know one of them didn't. I know one did and she had an abortion the first time she got pregnant but got pregnant again and decided to have the baby anyway. The first girl to get pregnant to him now has an injunction against him because he started to harrass her. This was& after changing her phone number and alsorts and he still managed to get hold of the new one somehow.& Most of them don't want to speak to him again. The latest who is about to have a baby to him actually thinks he's going to stick around with her....HAHA!!! He finds the girls by chatting them up on buses. He says it's because they always looks depressed on the bus and have nowhere to go to get away from him....lol.... One of his chat up lines is.."Cheer up, it might never happen". I'd probably tell him to piss off because it already had happened, haha!!!! He claims to have slept with over 100 women. It's a pity all these women were so easy to tell you the truth but thats how things are. Us vag women have come to realise that we feel abliged as women to provide men with sex otherwise they don't want us. Quite a few women in the vag group have been divorced or dumped because of their condition. 2006-07-09 12:58:20
313 1961 Thank you all for your information you have given me to give to my friend.& She called me up this morning to tell me she just got her period and vowed to never have unprotected sex again.& It's not worth to stress over something like that for about a month. 2006-07-16 10:15:51
316 1835 How would you feel(the ladies) if your boyfriend woke you up late at night with some tender kissing, carresing? would you feel like having sex? I have sleeping problems so I am often lying in bed cuddling my fiance and just watching her sleep.(its 03:43 when Im writing this today:(The fact that its bloody day light already doesnt help either) Often I notice the fact that my penis is resting on her sexy bum and I get aroused and want to have sex. I am awake and full of energy but she is asleep. I have tried this and it was fun but wouldnt this stop being fun after a few times?Afterall, most people use this time for normal things such as sleep... 2006-07-02 21:49:04
316 1836 I'm usually the one initiating sex in my and my boyfriend's relationship. But, if he were to wake me up by him poking me with his hard on, I'd be more than likely to help it go away (temporarily).& Sometimes, those wee hour sex sessions can be nice, but I do remember doing it once, and I actually felt too tired to have sex.& So, I really think it depends on how tired one is before actually wanting to do it. 2006-07-02 23:36:26
316 1837 Well, my boyfriend already did that on numerous occasions, for the same reason as yours.& He also mentions the same position you did (Penis on the bum thing).& Almost all of the time I go with him.& Liking it depends on how tired or sleepy I am.& What he does is he starts rubbing my clit very gently so I won't wake up, and goes on so that by the time I actually wake up, I find myself wet, horny and CONFUSED :) hence more likely to give in!& I find that annoying but funny and sexy at the same time :?& Only once I was mad at him. I say try! 2006-07-03 06:19:13
316 1843 Hi, There has to be consent. I recently had to address a Q&A where the ex-boyfriend was basically raping her in the night after she turned him down prior. :(& Depending on a woman’s mood and the circumstances she may or may not like to wake up to find they are being sexually stimulated. If they were tired or have a hard day ahead they probably wont like it. I would make sure they are truly awake before getting to carried away and be aware of the possibility some women may react negatively to this. It is one thing to wake them up a half hour early and another to do it at 2 am, especially if they have trouble falling asleep. Brad & & 2006-07-04 19:51:39
316 1848 That's a very important thing you pointed out, Brad.& Consent is very important in every sexual engagement.& No matter what relationship it is. 2006-07-06 17:44:52
317 1853 Is there any good places or ideas for a nice and gratifying quickie? 2006-07-07 11:25:10
317 1854 We have used single room public rest rooms. If people do see you come out together they don't even seem to have a reaction. 2006-07-07 12:44:06
317 1855 What if one of them is a policemen? :) 2006-07-07 12:50:56
317 1860 Hi. They would have a hard time, excuse the pun, proving what occurred in the locked room. I doubt there is a law against two people being in there at the same time, like how would parents escort young kids in? Brad 2006-07-08 03:26:28
317 1897 oooh... family restroom -- good idea! 2006-07-10 08:15:04
317 1898 If there is a policman, you can always say, there's something itching/painful... on my lower back and i wanted my bf/husband to check it for me.& Guess what!& Turned out to be nothing! How will they disprove that? About ideas... Depends on where you live and how much guts you have.& Wilderish places are common (sort of places you'd find overgrown with bushes and plants) Once we thought we were alone but found out there was a naked man watching us, he was sunbathing nude.& He left and we continued, we were way too far into it to stop.& I don't know what we were thinking! We had sex once in a restroom but it was very short and niether of us came.& We did it for the heck of it.& But honestly toilets sort of turn me off. What is also hot: my boyfriend ALWAYS walks in with me into the dressing rooms in lingere shops.& Although I wouldn't suggest sex there as it would be noticable, it is still exciting and fun.& One time so much fun, we had to wait around till his hard-on was gone ;) 2006-07-10 08:55:39
317 1899 LOL!! : ) 2006-07-10 08:56:24
317 1909 a sauna, just before closing time(always empty where I live). I find it very stimulating. Both of us are already naked, the sweat and water shining on her body........and the (slight) risk of being caought in the act... 2006-07-11 05:55:51
317 1910 Last night we went to a pond with small parking lot, with sun already& down, full moon light on the far left in front of pond and with long fence on our left side with trees and bushes. We had a "sustained quickie" between trees and fence, doing it slow while we enjoyed the beautiful view of the pond.& This place was located about a block away from State Trooper's station, and pretty busy road is just next to that pond.& We came with serenity then sat down on grass and chatted for an hour cuddling and shared precious moments together.& 2006-07-11 06:27:56
318 1857 Alright "bare" with me as I am having a creativity block here.& The guy Im seeing isnt home much so we communicate via cell phone and email alot.& Recently I invested in a web cam and would love to give him some hot solo performances via webcam, but other than masturbation....& what can I add to my performance to spice it up a bit.& He wants me to get nasty for him but it seems like masturbation is pretty much all I can come up with.& So comeon, tap that creativity you all have and would love some ideas! Warmly, Swt:cool: 2006-07-07 19:52:00
318 1858 Hi, You can also do a striptease, model clothing, take a sponge bath, apply oil to your body, clean your room naked, etc. etc. :D Brad 2006-07-08 03:08:22
318 1866 LOL, just make sure there is only him watching it too.:P 2006-07-08 09:30:13
318 1868 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "LOL, just make sure there is only him watching it too.:P" & LOL!& Most definately!& I had thought about that too!& hahahaha!! & 2006-07-08 14:12:56
318 1872 Perhaps you would like to do some sexy aerobics or him....try Danskin or Capezio leotards which are just one size small....(so it is tight around your mons area, etc.) so then you can try being on your side and doing leg lifts with the cam just placed in a proper place....a few of these should get him excited big time...and you can exaggerate people do it on television like pretend you are leading a class of ladies in erotic aerobics and you can say stuff like lets work those legs ladies, etc....fun to try not on cam also hehehe 2006-07-08 21:23:55
318 1931 :)& Roleplay a fantasy if you can. Have hime watch you masterbate while you are reading porn. make it look like you "forgot" to take the cam off. little things like that can really help. 2006-07-12 18:54:09
318 1934 I would say a sexy strip tease to some music... if your cam records it's a bonus... or you can tell him to start the song on his computer when you tell him to, and you'll do the dance.& Do a little teasing of showing the skin and first and some hip rolls.& Slowly strip, hip rolls, and just go with the flow and have fun with it. 2006-07-12 19:09:20
318 1966 :)& I am not sure if this is politically correct. But, as a mother of two girls (now 15 and 13) I have always felt that only should& masterbation be allow; but, also encourage too. My hubby is in Iraq now, and my girls have known for some time that "mommy" is having a little private time. I was encourage by my mother (and grandmother) and I was thankful. It was always stated that it should be in private and I so do feel the same way now. Well, just my two cents. 2006-07-16 21:10:49
318 2597 [user=631]donna6503[/user] wrote: "as a mother of two girls (now 15 and 13) I have always felt that only should& masterbation be allow; but, also encourage too. " I totally agree with you, donna6503. The right wing would be right about abstinence being the only way to prevent pregnancy if only they'd& follow the word "abstinence" with "from intercourse". We can't expect everyone who's not married (teens included) to completely abstain from all forms of sexual activity. Masturbation is a great outlet and necessary for a healthy sexual realtionship with another person. In fact, if I had& a teenage daughter, I'd print out several pieces that I've read on the-clitoris.com and tell her they are required reading. 2006-09-10 17:58:45
327 1894 Hi, I got motivated and moved the forum to our server tonight. I believe all the messages have made the move. Brad 2006-07-09 20:22:44
327 1895 Hi, Our custom Avatars didn't survive the move :X I am afraid you will need to reinstall them. Brad 2006-07-09 20:41:11
327 1900 Do the rules about pictures still apply or can we now post like in the old yahoo group? 2006-07-10 09:17:14
327 1901 Nice move Brad :) a couple of niggles - each time I come back to the site now I have to log in it does not automatically recognise me. For the sexual abuse forum I had to reset my password as it did not recognise the usual one so I hope that does not happen to everyone. The font seems screwed up in the history of the abuse forums as well. Apart from that good job :) You can email me about these glitches I could not see how to sort them myself. Princess 2006-07-10 09:45:32
327 1902 Hi, I guess every one is free to post pictures now. Forgot about that. :P Please keep in mind teenagers visit this forum. R rated images only please. I am actually looking for a series of photos showing how to insert a tampon, if there are any adventures ladies out there. These would be for the main website and are meant to help young women who are experiencing difficulty. They need to be clear and step by step. Photos that demonstrate the angle of insertion, etc. What the instructions sheets that come with tampons show, but a lot more clearer and realistic. These images may also help women with vaginismus. No visible blood, as that would bring up other concerns with those who view them. Aren't I a demanding begger? :shock: I could also use images from women of color showing their vulva, and especially close-ups of the vaginal orifice, for the new "Locating Your Vagina" article on the main website.& I wasn't able to locate suitable images of this type when I created the article. The same or another article may benefit from a couple images showing a plain vibrator or dildo being inserted into the vagina. Again to help those who doesn't understand the process, and how it is possible. They have to be G rated X rated pictures if you get my meaning. Thanks, Brad 2006-07-10 09:46:51
327 1903 Hi, My password worked, must be on your end!& ;) Perhaps you need to look into your password manager and delete the old ones. Some one tried to log into the old forum and it wouldn't work, and they didn't get the message about the move. That is why I had to send out the mass e-mailing. :( Don't know about the font issue, I looked at it, not something I can fix I am guessing. Brad 2006-07-10 09:54:00
327 1907 Hi, One member was typing in their login name incorrectly and that is why their password didn't work. We get spoiled by those auto logins. Brad 2006-07-10 21:48:37
327 1913 Well my password was fine once I had it reset and then changed it :) I miss the auto login :( Princess 2006-07-11 11:42:24
327 1916 Hmm, I don't have to keep loggin in. I stay logged in like I did before the move. Am& I supposed to? ....lol.:? I'm used to being the one who suffers all the problems when things like this happen. 2006-07-11 18:59:56
327 1920 Hi, Mine works okay too. Probably something to do with your cookies. :P Brad 2006-07-11 23:29:54
331 1912 Generally, in these days, I have my period, but yesterday when he(she) was cooking, me there came a white sticky fluid, it is the first time that happens(passes), I am 18 years old. & I did sexual relations with my boyfriend approximately 15 days ago without protection, but I do not ejaculate inside my, can I remain a pregnant woman? Is white flow proved of it? Porfavor help me 2006-07-11 10:05:29
331 1914 Hello and welcome to the group A sticky white fluid can sometimes be normal discharge released from the vagina. BUT can also be an indication of thrush which is a yeast infection. Usually this can be treated with Canesten Cream which can be bought from the pharmacy or chemist shop. Sometimes and if the infection is not treated correctly then antibiotics are needed to completely get rid of it. The only way to tell if you are pregnant is to take a test. Unprotected sex whether the man ejaculates inside you or not is a way of getting pregnant. Take a test or visit your doctor to discuss things further. Princess 2006-07-11 11:47:31
331 1915 It's normal for me to get that white discharge. The amount varies from woman to woman and the time of the month etc...Sometimes, I produce quite a lot, other times, not so much. I suppose it can change too for whatever reason as you get older. It is a self cleaning fluid the vagina produces to keep itself clean and prevent infection but, as Princess mentioned, it can also be a sign of Thrush (Yeast infection) although the discharge caused by that is often thicker and resembles cottage cheese and can be accompanied by an unpleasant odour and itching etc... Not everyone who gets thrush suffers all the symptoms and some women report not really suffering any noticeable symptoms so it is still wise to find out for sure at the docs. Same with the pregnancy. Even though the white discharge wouldn't be a sign of pregnancy, having had unprotected IC still warrents getting checked out to make sure you aren't pregnant. 2006-07-11 18:58:01
331 1919 Hi, I just want to add the following: From The Vulvodynia Survival Guide by Howard I. Glazer, Ph.D. and Gae Rodkeee, MD "You don't want to be treated for a yeast infection if you don't really have one!" "Also some women develop reactions to creams over time, so it may even make your vulvodynia worse." I mention on the hygiene page of the main website you should self diagnose yeast infections for this reason. Brad 2006-07-11 23:25:52
333 1930 hi everyone. i'm new to this board. i'm hoping someone can help me with my problem.& & i'm 24 and i'm very self conscious about my vagina. my inner labia on one side is much longer than the other. i am very& embarrassed about it. i feel like it holds me back sexually. whenever i& have been with any of my& boyfriends it's all i can think about during sex. i worry& someone will see it and be grossed out.& it's starting to become a little uncomfortable now.& i hope this isn't too much information but & i have to& fix myself sometimes. i spoke to my gynecologist about it since she performs the procedure but she said that sometimes childbirth can cause the labia to enlarge. she said about 30% of woman experience some enlargement after childbirth. i don't plan to have children anytime soon but i'm not sure if i should wait until i do. i don't know if i should even get it done.& does anyone have any suggestions? should i wait until i have children or should i do it now? has anyone regretted the procedure? any information would help. thank you 2006-07-12 17:39:44
333 1933 & :) Hello, and welcome to the board! My one labia is a bit bigger than the other, but I don't really think about it.& My boyfriend loves my vagina just the way it is.& Your boyfriends might not have noticed that your one is bigger than the other one.& If you really feel the need to even it up a little, I support you all the way.& I just don't think it's necessary.& You are you, and you're made to be the way you are today. :) 2006-07-12 19:06:16
333 1937 It's quite common it seeems but one thing I will say... "If it aint broke, don't fix it". In the end, we have to learn to accept our bodies how they are and stop fiddling around having cosmetic surgery done otherwise we'll never be satisfied. The labia thing will just be a focus for your low self esteem and if you removed it via surgery, you soon find something else to worry about instead. If it's not one thing, it is certainly another, trust me. It's a neverending thing until you learn to accept yourself. If it was causing some type of physical problem such as general discomfort, I could understand surgery more then. Any guy who finds it to be a problem is not worth bothering with and I doubt most guys would be bothered by it. Guys like girls to be confident about their bodies and it doesn't matter what you body looks like, if you like it, guys will like it too. I have a very large birthmark on my backside. It covers much of one buttock, goes slightly onto the other and also down on the the very top of my thigh. It is the type that would normally be found on your face so I was lucky it was on my bottom instead. If it was on my face, it would pretty much cover the whole area where my eyes, nose and mouth are and more.& I wouldn't have it removed because most people never get to see it anyway and, also, it is more an assett than a flaw being as it is love heart shaped too and makes me unique. My ex used to tease me that it was a tea stain, lol. He didn't have a problem with it though but thats partly down to the fact that I didn't. I'm proud of it. It makes my bum look different to everyone elses and is a little secret novelty saved for the special few I might get closer to during my life. 2006-07-13 09:47:09
333 1938 Hi, This is very common. Please see the information linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/b_image.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/c_size.htm Brad 2006-07-13 19:55:05
333 1943 Hello I agree with Canis if it aint broke dont fix it. Vulva's and labia vary from woman to woman and no two are the same. That is something special that makes us unique. With the childbirth issue and thinking that the labia will get larger afterwards, yes this is true for some women but I have had five children now and my vulva and lips are smaller now at the age of 35 then they were when I was 19 - 25 years old. My youngest child is now 5 years old. I think it varies from woman to woman with the enlargement or not following childbirth. My vaginal canal is also a lot tighter than before too. Now I dont know if that is an age thing or from having children. I would just leave the labia alone until you are in your 30's. That way you will know for sure through experience what to do. Your shape may completely change by then you just never know. Princess 2006-07-15 06:08:00
333 1945 I've always heard that when you have children that your vaginal canal gets bigger because it got stretched pretty big in order to pass the baby through.& :? 2006-07-15 08:26:16
333 1946 Any trauma to the vaginal canal can also cause secondary vaginismus as well as has happened to some women in the vag groups. I suppose it can go either way.:? 2006-07-15 09:38:09
333 1948 Oh yeah, I can't forget that! 2006-07-15 11:28:47
333 1951 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "I've always heard that when you have children that your vaginal canal gets bigger because it got stretched pretty big in order to pass the baby through. :? " well obviously for about a month after the birth of a baby having passed it through the birth canal there is some enlargement but after that the body condenses all the stretched tissue back down again. Hence the check up at 6 weeks following delivery of a baby to ensure that your body is healing as it should. With breastfeeding mothers the womb and vagina area contract much quicker than bottle feeding mothers following the birth. Like I said before, it can vary from woman to woman with some staying looser and some finding that they are actually tighter after having kids. Princess 2006-07-15 19:28:41
333 1953 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "[user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "I've always heard that when you have children that your vaginal canal gets bigger because it got stretched pretty big in order to pass the baby through.& :? " well obviously for about a month after the birth of a baby having passed it through the birth canal there is some enlargement but after that the body condenses all the stretched tissue back down again. Hence the check up at 6 weeks following delivery of a baby to ensure that your body is healing as it should. With breastfeeding mothers the womb and vagina area contract much quicker than bottle feeding mothers following the birth. Like I said before, it can vary from woman to woman with some staying looser and some finding that they are actually tighter after having kids. Princess" hmmmmm... very interesting! 2006-07-15 23:11:19
333 1969 thanks everyone for your posts.& i'm going to wait awhile and see how i feel. i finally spoke about it to this guy i'm dating. we're very close so i felt comfortable telling him. he said he has no problem with it and says it is somewhat a turn on to him. he said that he wants to help me work on this so maybe i won't need to get surgery. he wants to try to make me comfortable about it. i thought that was very nice. i'm glad that there are nice guys out there willing to do that. :D 2006-07-16 22:41:48
333 1974 Thats great. It is good to know there are some nice understanding guys out there among the arseholes. Hopefully, this guy will prove our point to you that you don't need to have surgery, you are fine as you are. If a guy does have a problem with it then he's the problem, not your labia. 2006-07-17 09:59:48
333 1985 I just asked my boyfiriend and another guy friend if such a thing would bother them.& Here's the male view on things: A confused look and 'Why would it bother me?' I think most men would not care.& Some would even find the varaiety even a turn on.& I remember Betty Dodson said that after showing a bunch of women the varied shapes of the vulva, some with really long labias, alot of them asked: 'Which one do men prefer?'& I& think her answer really hit a bull's eye: 'The one with a hole in it!' :D 2006-07-18 03:35:46
333 2004 :)& Hello there, I just wanted to add my two cents. I feel that it is easy for any of us to say, "don't worry 'bout it;" yet, I am not much different from the others that have already& written & on the subject. ... here is what I& recommend ... have your boyfriend talk to your "pussy." I have a feeling if your boyfriend just talks 'bout your "special rose" I think you will find that others think your "friend" down there is special. Again it is just a feeling; but, you& will find that many& men find& the whole look down there to be indeed lovely. I guess it is the same& notion that men can overlook a woman with a& pimple or any blemish on a face and still believe they are looking at the most wonderful and pretty woman they have ever seen. Men seem to overlook the small things and not focus on any one part of any thing. Trust me, men will overlook the fact that one nipple is a little different from the other nipple --- and still feel they are looking at the best pair of boobs in their lives. Sorry, I am writting this down a little quickly and& may have jumps some steps in my thinking here; yet, trust me, have your boyfriend just talk to your "pussy" and you should find that you can feel a little more at ease& with yourself and your sex life. Just smiling.& & 2006-07-21 14:30:10
333 2005 [user=631]donna6503[/user] wrote: ":)& Hello there, I guess it is the same& notion that men can overlook a woman with a& pimple or any blemish on a face and still believe they are looking at the most wonderful and pretty woman they have ever seen. Men seem to overlook the small things and not focus on any one part of any thing. Trust me, men will overlook the fact that one nipple is a little different from the other nipple --- and still feel they are looking at the best pair of boobs in their lives. Just smiling.& & " That is so true! :) I couldn't have said that any better! 2006-07-21 15:04:02
333 2062 my girl is self-conscious about hers.& I wish she wasn't, i'm dying to go down on her!& if you are self-conscious abou it, it is a turn-off for guys and a turn-off for yourself.& maybe you could try letting him play with you or go down on you& with the lights really dim. & 2006-07-25 01:17:06
334 1940 My girlfriend said she used to squirt, she did it for like a year mostly masturbating and possibly a few times during intercourse. She hasn't done it for a long time, and being i am interested in it she wantes to try and do it for me. I told her id help, and she looked some stuff up, but any pointers how we can get it to work form girls that can do it, or have done it? i have alot of questions & thanks 2006-07-14 19:04:38
334 1941 It's something that usually just happens.& I don't think you can really force it to happen, unless you're a gifted porn star that can squirt on command. :P 2006-07-14 20:27:16
334 1957 Hi, I have had a couple women report the same. We simply do not know enough about female ejaculation to explain why. There are emotional and physical factors involved. All I can recommend is to experiement with standard techniques for G-Spot stimulation. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm Brad 2006-07-16 00:21:07
334 1975 I cant really find the g spot. Theres alot going on inside there, i found 3 spots that "could" be the g spot, all appeared to be equally pleasurable. Trying to get this to work, but its just not working... She used to be able to do it herself, now she doesn't do it that much since she knows me 2006-07-17 10:26:01
334 1976 I remember learning that there technically isn't a g-spot. Every woman's "g-spot" is different.& The spot that makes her crave more of the attention inside is her g-spot, it's the "oh-god-right-there" spot. :)& You just have to listen to her moans and talk (if she does). Or maybe have her masturbate for you. 2006-07-17 15:10:55
334 1977 You have it absolutely right.& 2006-07-17 16:36:24
334 1984 I once had a clear fluid leak from me.& We were in a doggie style position and I could feel him hitting a really soft spot inside.& I was confused and thought I peed.& But we smelled it and it smelled like nothing.& As far as I know it did not happen again but it could've.& Sometimes things feel abit more liquidy than other times.& & Is it really that big a deal?& I wouldn't know but I dont think I am missing anything.& & Sometimes though, the urge to pee after sex is intense and it actually feels very nice once I get to pee. :?:) 2006-07-18 03:24:44
334 1993 i just thought all the stuff from porn was just fake. And it is, thats why i was never really interested in it. But ive never heard of it really happening, in a relationship for 10 years without either of us having a clue. Then all of a sudden my new girlfriend says she used to do it, now im like facinated. She said she only did it once while not mesturbating, and she was doggy style too. 2006-07-18 22:11:16
334 1994 Its not something all women can do, but it is real.& Most of the stuff in porn is probably fake though, as is the case with nearly anything in porn. 2006-07-18 22:26:51
334 1995 Hi, Every woman has a prostate gland, which is the official name as of 2001. The female prostate gland is a functional organ producing the same fluids as the male prostate. The female prostate gland is located in 70% of women near the urethral opening, or meatus. This is likely why some women have a urethral meatus the bulges out. At present there is no known correlation between the female prostate gland and the G-Spot, an area of sensitivity along the front wall of the vagina. My female ejaculation article needs an update, which I am slowly researching now. I need to have one of my clones work on it. The next project for the guy doing the animations for the 3DVulva.com website is the modeling of the urethra and vaginal structures, including the female prostate gland. Brad V = Vagina U = Urethra with the female prostate gland within the wall of the urethra UVS = Urethra Vaginal Septum, or simply the tissue the separates them 2006-07-18 22:29:12
334 1996 The most common type of female prostate gland The vulva would be on the right, and the bladder to the left of where the "U" is. The inner vaginal wall is represented by the horizontal lines below the prostate gland. 2006-07-18 22:30:07
334 2006 all that scientific stuff doesnt matter much to me tho. not when im trying to get my girl to do it. i want her to so bad, and so does she. & Have u ever experienced it brad? 2006-07-21 23:32:37
334 2007 Hi, Yes, I have had a couple women ejaculate. I know you can't force it to happen. Either it happens or it doesn't. While all women may have a prostate gland we don't know if they all can ejaculate or have a G-Spot. Women are not all the same. The amount of ejaculate may be a few drops rather than a gush of fluid. The female prostate in only about the size of your pinky. Brad 2006-07-22 14:46:28
334 2352 if you have access to a good filesharing service (I use bearshare and bittorrents), I found the videos "Female Ejaculation A Complete Guide" by Seymour Butts, and "Squirting 101" to be quite informative (and certainly visually appealing :D& ) 2006-08-10 15:11:30
334 2362 Hi, I have gotten and have been reviewing an advanced copy of a new female ejaculation video titled Liquid Love: The G-Spot Explosion that features information presented by Deborah Sundahl and Dr. Carol Queen. It also features four women, three of whom ejaculate. One squirts a couple feet through the air.& :-O Leila Swan from the video Female Ejaculation for Couples is in it, and is one of the producers. The other producers of the video do fashion and glamour videos so the video quality is better than is typical of most mom and pop operations. The use of soft focus, sensual imagery, and classical music may make it attractive to women, but there is no heterosexual sex, only solo or girl/girl. There isn't much in the way of new information on learning how to ejaculate, but does explore aspects of female sexuality that may present barriers to women learning how to ejaculate. Some of the information is presented using clinical (doctor words) terminology, so the video isn't pornish, more arty with a professional connection. I don't know when the video will be available for sale yet. :-(( Brad 2006-08-11 10:01:26
334 2449 Hi, I have added an animation showing the female prostate to the 3DVulva.com website. [url=www.3dvulva.com] www.3dvulva.com Brad 2006-08-24 11:57:38
334 2508 Hi All, Finally updated the article on the main website about female ejaculation. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm Brad 2006-08-29 16:15:13
334 2634 Very interesting reading material. Thank you I love this site. I'm especially interested about this topic because I've pretty much mastered ejaculation and can do it on command (maybe I should be a porn star? - only in my fantasies and another topic). Anyway, I think the first time I experienced "squirting" was 4-5 years ago in my early 30's. It was during anal sex and I thought I had urinated but it wasn't like urine because it was clear. I had actually told some& women about it and that was a mistake! I got known to be the "squirter-girl" and the butt of many jokes to come. None of them knew anything about squirting and the topic was never discussed openly at the time. Besides those girls probably never had a real orgasm either! With more time and practice, I was able to ejaculate while he was playing with my clitoris and it shot farther than any of his loads ever and puddles!!!! My husband was just amazed by this. He started calling me Ol' Faithful cause I became a geyser! He tried to look for pornography of girls squirting but there wasn't really anything out there. Girls were ejaculating other substances like milk or water and when& it happens to me, it actually SHOOTS out across the room!& I started practicing during masturbation because I& wanted to see if I could do it myself. I learned right under the hood of my clitoris is a spot that I can apply pressure and rub vigorously and it builds up kind of like an orgasm but not so intense. I start to feel a sensation like I need to relieve myself but& it is different than a full bladder feeling. Then I contract my vaginal muscles to push it out and there it goes blasting away. It's fun but very messy. It is nothing like an orgasm but there is a sense of relief and it's a turn-on to see hubby get excited but now that we've mastered it, it's not as entertaining because I can just go on and on and on. I always wondered where the fluid came from but now I know from reading the updated info posted above. Hopefully my post helps& any of you& interested in trying to ejaculate. Good luck and happy practicing! 2006-09-13 10:59:35
334 2636 I'm not sure so I'm going to ask what other people reckon but, a few times, when I have had an orgasm or just as it's building up, I feel some fluid leak out of my urethra. It doesn't squirt anywhere though because it doesn't come out in force. Could it be the same thing...just a bit weaker..lol? It's not a lot that comes out, just a small amount. 2006-09-13 15:20:52
334 2638 Yes Cannis it is squirting..the most i've seeen is about 2 spoonfuls..good luck Luisa 2006-09-13 18:03:48
334 2640 Ah, thanks for that. I doubt I'll ever be able to save it all and measure how much there is though...LOL. I had a feeling thats probably what it was but thought I'd ask anyway. 2006-09-14 06:48:46
334 2641 Interesting... My wife squirted when I stroked her clitoris directly, lightly and slowly.& The way I stroke her is to place my hand upside down on her clitoris, her on her back, legs up, feet down, totally relaxed. Decrease the stroke rate as she reaches to her climax, it has to be slow, then slower as she intensifies, resulting into intense physical spasms, ignoring her plea to finish her up quickly, she eventually squirted hard.& Maybe it might help those who are struggling? 2006-09-14 08:02:50
334 2642 Many years ago when I was learning about women. I had intercourse with my girlfriend and when we decided to clean up and go home, we got dressed and on saying goodbye I started feeling her clitorus while she was sitting, I put my hand underneath her undies. After much 'playing' she started to get excited and then all of a sudden she squirted into my hand. As I kept playing she continued squirting non stop. It didn't seem to matter how much I felt around her clitorus she continually climaxed and squirted. It made her pants very wet, my hands soaked and a wet patch on the floor. She climaxed on other occasions similarly so it was not a once off. I have never experienced anyone else having such an intense climax. It made us both very happy. It gives me an erection thinking about it.(at least an erection in my mind):P 2006-09-14 08:06:28
334 3037 this is a very interesting topic. 2006-10-20 16:13:29
334 3152 Tissie, I agree with absolutely everything you said in your post. I am EXACTLY the same. And my partner LOVES it but it is not THE most pleasurable thing about sex for me... 2006-11-09 05:39:07
334 3184 the opther day me and my girl frind were playin wit each other and i did it when she waqs givin me a hj i was so surprised cause it came outa nowhere i didn't know guy could do it too:-O & 2006-11-15 18:33:31
334 3185 the opther day me and my girl frind were playin wit each other and i did it when she waqs givin me a hj i was so surprised cause it came outa nowhere i didn't know guy could do it too:-O Please explain:-O What were doing or what was your g/f doing? Did you have an erection? 2006-11-15 19:14:37
334 3186 From what I gather, he was saying while his girlfriend was giving him a handjob he ejaculated and he didn't know guys did it too. 2006-11-15 21:30:00
334 3187 Are you sure I thought everybody enjoyed that :? I know I do =; 2006-11-15 23:14:35
334 3188 that the 1s time it ever happen to me& and it surprised me 2006-11-16 16:53:05
334 3191 Well congrats Draco.& I'm glad you had such a fabulous experience. And Enjoy... =; I raise my hand to that too. :-D 2006-11-16 20:55:56
334 3196 Yes I agree that is a fabulous experience Ladybird 1 or 2 hands do you use, I mean raise:-)) 2006-11-17 04:01:29
334 3238 I have only squirted twice, but I didn't have ANY of the sensations of orgasm with it. :?& Any other women here had that experience? 2006-11-24 14:23:12
334 6129 The second woman I dated who squirted got very aroused one night and I started masturbating her... She started to squirt and we went for 30 - 40 minutes with her squirting every few minutes. Everything was soaked in her bed. I've never seen that before or since but it was fun! I could tell from her reations she was having some really intense orgasm, too. It was a turn on for me and she went to bed that night exhausted! I'm sure she wasn't faking but there were other nights where she would squirt and it did smell like urine, most nights it didn't. 2008-09-27 21:41:48
335 1942 Okay, looking to try and hit my sexual peak. Ive experienced being with different partners opened up a world of sexual pleasure you just couldn't get with one person. So without getting into anything too crazy, what kind of things can I do to make my girl go nuts? I heard altoids and oral sex go good together, sounds like fun. & Another thing is I have a higher sex drive than my girlfriend. So I always want her to be all up on me, but usually its the other way around, even if she may have stronger feelings for me than I for her. & She has a large clit, and as far as I can tell she really gets into it. When we do do it, but because of her lower sex drive its not that often. I would have to say she *really* enjoys sex, i am bigger and can last longer than alot of guys, and it almost gets to the point where shes almost screaming. Well the other day, we tried masturbating together for the first time, and she got off in such a way she's never got off before. She was actually screaming, almost so loud I thought the neighbors would think somethings wrong and call the cops. I thought she was special before cuz she got so into it, and this was just off the hook. It turned us on so much we just grabbed eachother and had intercourse, which didnt last more than a few minutes, but it was crazy. Raw gutteral sex, she said she never felt anything like that before in her life, not by herself or with another guy. I was willing to say some girls go their whole life without experiencing sex or an orgasm like that, ive never seen it before with the girls ive been with. Not all people can have sex like that, thats like that crazy sex that only happens a few times a year, if that. But ive made girls feel things they never thought possible, but man nothing like this. Cant wait to do it again & If anyone knows how to peak other than hitting up a model, positions, tricks whatever, hit it up here. pce 2006-07-14 20:48:41
336 1949 hi! well, two days ago i had unprotected oral and vaginal sex with a guy.& My problem now, is that my glans clitoris hurts real bad (walking, sitting, touching it).& i also discovered a small cut in my perineum.& & I think the guy hurt me while giving me oral because he pressed really hard (even though I enjoyed it)& but I felt the pain after having sex. I hope you guys can help me on this, thank you!! 2006-07-15 16:39:10
336 1952 Hello, you really should speak to a medical professional about this pain. It could be soreness from vigorous movements which has become enflamed or may even be infected now as it was two days ago. Because the area is so close to the uretha it would be so easy for bacteria to grow there and cause you a lot of discomfort. You could try a nappy rash cream that would be used on a baby to see if there is any improvement. If in doubt though, get it checked properly. Princess 2006-07-15 19:32:23
336 1956 Hi, If you read through the main website you will find minor injuries aren't all that uncommon during sex. The genitals tissues are easily injured and very sensitive when inflamed. Our pain thresholds are increased during sex, which means we can injure ourselves and not know it. Use normal wound care procedures, i.e. rinse with clean water and keep clean. Apply an antibiotic ointment, to act as a lubricant and to keep urine away. Wear loose airy clothing. If the amount of redness, pain, swelling, etc. increase or do not go away then please consult a doctor. Brad 2006-07-16 00:17:46
336 2036 Hello & Well, i'm writing back because i want to let you guys know that I went to the clinic, to be tested for STD.& I have Herpes,& it was very surprising for me, and sad, but I'm not fighting against it, im trying to live with herpes. & we should learn and not to regret for things you do,& we should learn to make better decisions. & Have a nice day girls!! 2006-07-23 12:08:53
337 1971 I have been reading that some girls start masturbating at very young ages, such as four or five. Are there any scientific statistics for the age of starting masturbation. My wife an I got married when we both are 23. She says she never masturbated before marriage. She started to enjoy the pleasure of her clitoris with marriage. Is it a normal situation? 2006-07-17 06:56:13
337 1973 Not really, not from mother natures point of view. The reason many women leave it so late is because the behaviour was suppressed as a child. Left to their own devices, children and even babies would all dabble with self exploration because it is natural and normal and it isn't just humans that do it, I have seen it among puppies when I bred from my dogs too. I also see chimps do it on TV etc... Because children are generally told off for touching their genital areas, they either learn to do it in secret or they stop doing it altogether and this is what happens with most kids. Parents can't or won't get their head around the idea that children are sexual too and that childhood is also about sexual development, not just other things we normally associate childhood with. Society thinks that we only need to suddenly become sexual when we are old enough and be sexperts in a flash& and we don't need to develop or practise or get to know our own bodies...... When sexual urges start to take place at puberty, many young people might start experimenting then although some have more difficulty because there is an element of shame, dirtiness and embarrassment attached to the idea of touching oneself brought about from previous conditioning. I can't remember the exact age I started to masturbate but I know I was 18 when I first had an orgasm and I do remember I'd dabbled previous to that. Some people never masturbate because they believe it to be wrong if they follow certain faiths that oppose such things or if they can't get past the idea of shame and dirtiness associated with it. As a result, the age varies a lot and life experiences, the persons own disposition and the type of family they grew up in etc..all have a bearing on when a person might start to masturbate. I suppose your wife was unable to get past that idea of shame prior to the marriage but then engaging in partner sex and such would help awaken her sexual desire more to the point that she felt she could start to dabble in self exploration and get past the feelings that stopped her before. 2006-07-17 09:56:43
337 3580 My partner says she started masturbasting at age 5-6, whilst swinging on the jungle gym, she didn't know exactly what it was but she sure as hell liked it. She would sit in class and rub her legs together, and get little 'pleasures' and shakes. Sometimes 5-10 times a day. She would often rub up against things, and said she use to orgasm very quickly so no one really knew what she was doing. Around 8-10 she would also lay on her stomach doing her homework and rub on the carpet. She would tremble and shake.. she was having an orgasm, but she didn't think of it as an 'orgasm' ... just fun and very pleasurable. She didn't think of it as 'dirty' or rude or wrong, but also kinda knew she wasn't meant to say anything or mention it. I think some young girls also just 'fondle' themselves (without having an orgasm) just because it feels good... a bit like boys scratching their balls I guess...! 2007-01-21 04:48:21
338 1978 does anyone here enjoy anal sex? i've tried it before and i think i enjoy it. i haven't done it long enough to really get the full pleasure. does anyone have any tips or suggestions for it? thanks! 2006-07-17 19:10:22
338 1982 Well, if you think you enjoy it you are probably doing something right.& The thing to remember is to keep calm, use plenty of lubrication, and take all the time you need.& If you go too fast, or if you panic and suddenly clench up, that is when you will get hurt.& The anus is not the like vagina; it's a sphincter, which means that its natural state is to be clenched rather than relaxed like normal muscles.& Because of that, it takes time to learn how to relax it and it takes time to get used to the sensations that you are not used to. 2006-07-18 02:54:43
338 1983 Hi, We have it every now and then (every few months).& Like dfs3 said, use lots of lubrication (We like coconut oil or sheabutter because it won't irritate my skin like store bought stuff.& Coconut oil has antifungal properties.& But this won't work with condoms...)& I am always worried about getting yeast infections especially if I'm not careful during anal sex so the only position(s) i have it in is with him on top so that the anus is always below the vagina; nothing would leak into it and cause an infection.& We clean with cider vinegar mixed with water after that and I've never had any problems since.& Unlike what one would normally think, the vinegar really doesn't burn the skin, it feels rather soft afterwords and not dry at all. We take alot of time so that the muscles are completely relaxed and open.& Last time we had anal sex& with me using a vibrator on my clit and it felt much better and more intense.& came twice!!!& Also try some toys first.& We start with fingers, then a couple of toys and then I would be ready for his penis.& :)& 2006-07-18 03:18:46
338 2335 I don't like the idea that anal sex is just another part of normal sexual activity. I don't like it and I'm not interested in developing an interest in it. My boyfriend really likes anal stimulation and so he doesn't quite get why I don't like it and thinks it's all in my head. Regardless, I don't think I'm missing out. I don't think we're going to run out of stuff to do anyway. I think the adult entertainment industry puts too much pressure on couples to constantly take things to a new level. As a relationship grows, the sex matures as well and it doesn't require acting like a porn star to do it. 2006-08-08 10:11:03
338 2338 I doubt I'd enjoy it. In fact, my anus doesn't even like passing stools so I doubt it would want a penis putting in there. I suffer from IBS and this can cause problems which& affect the anus. I wonder whether it is anismus that causes my problems resulting from past pain in trying to pass stools? Basically the same thing as with vaginismus but it affects the muscles around the anus instead. 2006-08-08 11:21:53
338 2341 I have masturbated and stuck one of my vibrators in my butt, and it brought such a strong orgasm. Recently my bf and I have tried anal sex.& At first it hurt, he kinda jumped in too soon. But we fixed that after working our way up.& I actually enjoyed it.& He said that it was neat, but that it felt weird.& He said that it felt tight, but also very open. 2006-08-08 22:10:03
338 2343 Hi, When I have given women erotic massages some have been very surprised to find anal stimulation extremely enjoyable. But this starts out with light external caressing, not poking or sticking something as large as an erect penis inside without prior preperations. Many make the mistake of equating anal sex with anal penetration, which is wrong and very unfortunate. The anus not like the vagina, it is normally and exit and does not self lubricate. Brad 2006-08-08 22:15:50
338 2344 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote:& " He said that it felt tight, but also very open. " That's reasonable.& The structure is very different from a vagina, which is basicalyl a tube of muscles designed to react to sexual stimulation.& The anus and rectum, though, obviously don't work that way.& The anus is a sphincter which, unlike normal muscles, is a ring-like muscle that remains contracted in its natural state.& The rectum does have muscular attributes, but it doesn't contract in the same way the vagina does,& so in terms of "gripping" ability, it remains pretty relaxed.& The anus, of course, is attached to the rectum, so it's basically a tight ring attached to a large, loose cavity. 2006-08-08 22:52:08
338 2347 Today,& we went to try for it again, and boy did it not want to work.& I thought I was in the mood, but once we started working up for it, the mood went downhill and just went to ground zero. Blah! :P 2006-08-09 22:37:37
338 2348 Don't push it ladybug.& If it doesn't work for you guys give it a rest and let it happen naturaly.& I don't think I ever started with the intent to have anal sex.& We ended up doing it after a lot of foreplay and the mood was there to proceed.& Good luck and enjoy. 2006-08-10 05:51:59
338 2349 What a night! M-SO performed anal stimulation and then penetration as a "treat" for me. He new that I had enjoyed anal play with my other F/M SO's but never with him. This just had not come up in any of our previous trysts together. I did not expect it at all. He very gently nonverbally communicated what his intentions were and what he was going to do before he did it. A while after we were done we got to chatting and planning for the next time, and I told him that these were the best, most intense orgasms I had ever felt! It was then that he told me it was his first time. He did everything just like he had done this a hundred times before, WOW! Slow, steady, easy, and totally aware of the need for lube. He was very, very careful about no vaginal penetration AFTER anal penetration until all was tidy again. For someone who had never performed anal at all before, he was amazing! Self-education really pays off. However, it really is not for everyone, which is normal. Not everyone likes the same music or food or politics. It is logical that not everyone would enjoy anal sex. To each their own.....:) 2006-08-10 12:43:11
338 2357 [user=625]jumper1951[/user] wrote: "Don't push it ladybug.& If it doesn't work for you guys give it a rest and let it happen naturaly.& I don't think I ever started with the intent to have anal sex.& We ended up doing it after a lot of foreplay and the mood was there to proceed.& Good luck and enjoy."Oh definitely.& We didn't push it at all.& Once the sign of being uncomfortable came about, we stopped and started something else. 2006-08-10 22:07:21
338 2360 Hi, I recommend going in steps with the dilation. Keep in mind some of the experiences in which I have introduced women to anal play have been 2-3 hours in length. It starts out with erotic massage that involves lightly caressing the buttocks and after they get use to and respond favorable to this moving on to direct external stimulation of the anus. I don't focus on the anus, but move about the entire body, often teasing the woman. Usually a woman's anus is very tight and it takes very gently anal massage to get the muscles to relax. I don't poke, but actually massage the anus with a single finger, pressing with the flat part, not the tip. Once the muscles start to relax then you can start slipping a finger in and pressing gently outward against the muscles. It helps if the woman is sexually aroused, and of course relaxed, which is the purpose of the massage. I use tons of lubricant and usually latex or nitrile gloves. The gloves may sound clinical but they greatly reduce the amount of friction and are necessary for safe sex. I also use the gloves for genital massage and women often like the reduced friction. Once I get to two fingers I will introduce a small butt plug, which are tapered. I only use the pressure of a single finger. Push it in a little ways, let it slip back out, repeat. I sometimes tell the woman to try and push it out and then relax, as I hold it in place or allow it to slowly slide out, which helps to open them up. The wide part of even a small plug can be a lot for the beginner. Once the plug is in, usually with a condom on it for ease of cleanup, I go back to the erotic massage. After that, back to fingers and perhaps a medium plug or a small dildo. Repeating the whole process. In the beginning there is no insertion of a penis or penis sized object, if at all. I know a tight ass [img]/sexforum/images/emoticons/16.gif[/img] when I meet one :-D and sometimes women have surprised me when at first it is difficult to insert a single finger but they open for a penis relatively quickly. In the beginning I am saying to myself, this isn't going to happen, but it does. We sell a surprisingly large number of anal toys, mainly plugs, through the store, even more than I would have expected. That may simply be because of the information provided about anal sex on the website attracts people interested in the subject. Some of the plugs may be used for vaginal dilation, as we recommend that for virgins, on the website. Women can warm themselves up in advance if they plan on anal sex later in the day by inserting a well lubricated plug, while masturbating of course, and then going about other activities for a while, then perhaps changing to a larger size. Getting the small plugs to stay in can be a bit of a challenge but the medium ones tend to stay on their own. They actually make a harness to hold them in place. A woman can then surprise her partner by undressing after telling them she have a surprise for them,& lifting her skirt when she is going commando and flashing the plug, or allowing their partner to find the plug on their own. :D Of interest is the fact that we sell more of the Bend Over Boyfriend series of videos than I would have expected (imagine that), which means men are also exploring anal sex, or at least the idea of it. One couple bought two strap-on harnesses, which I presume to mean they have his and hers. :) Brad 2006-08-11 09:36:33
338 2367 Thanks Brad! :) 2006-08-11 18:52:15
338 2402 Hi all, I didn't read many posts on this subject, but skimmed over it fairly well....& Lemme start out by saying that I am a male, and though I've tried anal stimulation during masturbation, I have never tried anything bigger than a probe..........Ummmmm, I do like it, but wonder how you would get past having that sense of having to go to the bathroom...& Also as a bi-curious male, I would hope that this subsides with time and heat... Does this sensation go away? Thanx all for your time! & 2006-08-19 05:40:35
338 2485 Have you tried something that vibrates?& That might help. 2006-08-27 20:11:16
338 2556 Hi all, No, not yet I haven't!!& & I do however,& want the anal kit from the clitoris store!!& It comes with a vib, and honestly, I will have it!!& LOL.......hehe...... 2006-09-03 06:15:37
338 2563 hehe yeah that should feel better. 2006-09-03 14:35:46
342 2011 I would like to know a womens view and any tips they would have for performing sex and cunnilingus 2006-07-22 16:20:41
342 2016 & There are many sites that provide it.& Google it. 2006-07-22 16:49:12
342 2033 Hi, Here is one on cunnilingus: www.tinynibbles.com/ Brad 2006-07-23 09:46:49
343 2013 how would you go about comming on to a girl when& starting sex?:-/ 2006-07-22 16:46:58
343 2015 I'm not really understanding this... what are you trying to ask? monkey 2006-07-22 16:47:57
343 2023 how exctly do you start sex:-/ 2006-07-22 18:05:26
343 2028 Well... I'm assuming you don't know her very well so you'd be safe with gentle kissing and then turning the heat up as things go further.& & Start gentle with the lips and the hands on the non-erogenous areas and leave the rough hard sex play till later.& Most but not all women need some time to get in the mood and being agressive from the start can ruin things.& And if the guy is patient enough, as in he's waiting for her to go further, she'll feel less pressured and enjoy things more. I dont know if this is good advice but it works with me :) : try not to mention explicitly that you want to have sex.& she'll be more relaxed because there is less pressure and she can enjoy the moment. In the end this is just my opinion :) 2006-07-23 08:09:37
343 2030 Well, most importantly, consent is what you need before doing anything with anyone.& it's important to be open about things when it comes to sex.& When you both agree to engage into sexual intercourse for the first time, don't go into it expecting the best romp in bed, because usually the first time is awkward.& You both are trying to figure out what makes the other person turned on and trying to figure out what you like as well. Maybe first start off with some kissing, soft caresses, and some oral.& Once she and you feel comfortable enough, then slowly go for it.& Don't worry about just getting it over with, take it slow. 2006-07-23 09:23:51
343 2038 thanx for the advice it real helps to have a female opinion;) 2006-07-23 16:31:19
343 2039 all of my friends are saying yeah go ahead shell want it right away, so thanx for the advice its nice to hav a womens opinion for a change;) 2006-07-23 16:37:46
343 2478 You post isn't very recent so you've probably had your encounter already. I must say I agree with Kay about gentle kissing. There's nothing that turns me off more than when a guy immediately sticks his hands down my pants or up my skirt. I also hate rough kissing. There's nothing better than being held in a firm embrace and getting some nice soft, passionate& kisses. I'm getting worked up just thinking about it. 2006-08-27 17:17:13
343 2500 Oh, I must add that I absolutely agree with Ladybug. Find out what she likes, what she's comfortable with and remember that could change as the relationship progresses. Don't do anything sexual without asking and start slowly. 2006-08-28 20:12:50
347 2029 Ok, I know that stress can have a negative effect on sexual desire but I was wondering how bad it could be. I've been stressed out more than usual lately and I'm finding during the last month that my desire for sex is diminishing.& I've never been like this before.& I was almost always ready for sex but now I'm finding myself exhausted by just the idea of it :( and needless to say this is causing me even more stress.& We're having sex but my boyfriend is putting so much time and effort to get me to come (last time 2 hours!) and I do but I feel guilty (and sore) afterwards as I was worrying the whole time.& I am not sure when I turned into this but during sex I was thinking how pissed I am that I couldn't stop thinking about the new job, the presentation date and the dirty dishes that've been standing in my room for a week.& And then I remember: 'Oh yes, I am having sex.& Let's try to enjoy this...' I really hate this.& I was just wondering if anyone here went through this, any tips?& I feel like a part of me is missing. 2006-07-23 08:27:46
347 2031 I have learned in my psychology class, that when you start thinking about things in your bed, for instance, the things you had listed, get out of bed.& Your bed is only good for a couple things and that is sleeping and sex.& Being in bed is not a place for you to think about your worries and stress about things.& You want to put your stress and worries somewhere else in the house.& Your bed is there for you to relax and also enjoy your loved one.& 2006-07-23 09:35:09
347 2032 Hi, Stress puts the body in a "fight or flight" mode the same as an axiety attack. Please have a look at the following information. [url=lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/LoveandRomance/ArticleLHJ.aspx?cp-documentid=87161]lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/LoveandRomance/ArticleLHJ.aspx?cp-documentid=87161 [url=www.obgyn.net/women/women.asp?page=/women/articles/libido_dah] www.obgyn.net/women/women.asp?page=/women/articles/libido_dah [url=www.disability.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Libido?OpenDocument] www.disability.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Libido?OpenDocument [url=www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/SR00001] www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/SR00001 [url=www.thedoctorwillseeyounow.com/articles/behavior/stress_3/] www.thedoctorwillseeyounow.com/articles/behavior/stress_3/ [url=adam.about.com/reports/000031_2.htm] adam.about.com/reports/000031_2.htm Brad 2006-07-23 09:44:46
347 2037 I know that if I'm stressed, it stops me sleeping, kills my appetite and, although during those times, I didn't think about my sexual desire or worry about it, was too busy worrying about other things, I'm sure it affected that too. As I don't have a partner to worry about pleasing, I'm not under any pressure to engage in sex at any time other than when I personally want to so I don't notice libido like you do. Keeping your stressful thoughts out of your bed is easier said than done mind. I suffer from anxiety disorder so I know all about that. They aren't something you can just switch off like a button. I wish they were. Maybe when the stressful events are over and done with, you can relax again but if you find yourself worrying constantly about things, you should maybe find out about the possibility of yourself suffering from general anxiety disorder and get help for it. Worrying a little about certain things is usual and even helpful to an extent but worrying constantly and it getting in the way of your life is not helpful and needs to be addressed. One good thing to do to is to& write the things down that are stressing you out, put down why they are stressing you out. Then put something that contradicts your negative beliefs. For both your negative belief and the contradicting facts and evidence, put down how much you believe them out of 100. Once you've actually gone through the event that was worrying you, write down what happened and then put down how much you believe, out of 100,& the original positive comment that contradicted your negative thoughts now. It should have increased from the original time.& It might seem useless at first but it does work. They call it cognitive behavioural therapy. There is a lot more to CBT than this but thats just one technique. Negative beliefs are usually based on personal opinions and not on facts. It's common with anyone with any kind of low self-esteem to have these negative beliefs and worry about them a lot. They are real enough for that person but not really based upon reality. People with any type of low confidence tend to be overly hard on themselves and over emphasize their weaknesses etc...We all know that events that made us nervous initially nearly always turn out much better than our negative beliefs were indicating. A good book for anybody to get is "Overcoming low self-esteem", by Melanie Fennell. Low self-esteem affects most people to a certain extent although many can still live normally and only suffer from it at a low level, others are painfully affected by it and it shows to other people too in the form of shyness, self criticism& and such. It& can help any of those people because nobody likes to stress over things and your stresses are obviously starting to affect other parts of your life....like sex. You don't have to have an actual life affecting problem of low self-esteem to have these negative thoughts about things so don't think I'm interpreting you as being a nervous wreck, lol, these techniques work for people of all varying levels from people who are quite confindent usually but just stress about the odd things to people who stress about everything....like me:D& I'm sure you might be one of those who just stresses about the odd things...like most people do. As for the dirty dishes, lol. I hate them hanging around too. Just wash them before you head off to bed. Fill the sink with very hot water and washing up liquid about half hour before bed so that they had chance to soak and the water cool down to a comfortable level by the time you go to wash them. Leave them to drain overnight rather than drying them. You can just bung the dry pots away in the morning and it'll only take a minute. Just get into a habit of doing this before bed then at least you'll not have that on your mind. 2006-07-23 13:48:02
347 2044 Hi Kay you need romancing! stop trying to cum that only slows things down a whole lot more and leads to more frustration for you and your boyfriend. sex or lovemaking should not have a goal like an orgasm. It should be about sharing each other, stroking each other, affection and love. If you are not up to an orgasm then dont have one. If you keep trying to force one out just because he is trying so hard to give you one it will end up emotionally damaging you both. Another stress that you just dont need. I have been there - I know Princess 2006-07-23 16:53:26
347 2050 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "Hi Kay you need romancing! stop trying to cum that only slows things down a whole lot more and leads to more frustration for you and your boyfriend. sex or lovemaking should not have a goal like an orgasm. It should be about sharing each other, stroking each other, affection and love. If you are not up to an orgasm then dont have one. If you keep trying to force one out just because he is trying so hard to give you one it will end up emotionally damaging you both. Another stress that you just dont need. I have been there - I know Princess"Sometimes I've had it where I just won't orgasm. I have told him that it's okay for him to stop since I just don't feel like an orgasm is building up.& Of course he'll ask me if I'm sure, and I always tell him, "It's okay, I don't have to have an orgasm in order to enjoy being and doing things with you."& 2006-07-24 14:59:15
347 2101 Thanks every one for your support.& Still stressed and very little desire. I'm trying to work on it and not avoid it. I just don't want to be a woman who sleeps with her man just to get things over with.& That's my nightmare. I talked about it with my boyfriend about the suggestions and he agreed to more romance and not the 'so, do you wanna...?'& And Canis, I am going to do that tonight.& No not the sex but soaking the dishes :). 2006-07-26 12:17:35
347 2105 That with the dishes is sort of habit in our household and, I must admit, it is quite a convenient way of doing it. Good luck with& beating the stresses. 2006-07-26 18:35:15
347 2336 If I'm stressed I'm usually feeling pretty selfish too. For this reason I often masturbate to relax or even just distract myself, but I can't imagine having sex. I just wouldn't be patient enough to be a good partner for my boyfriend.& & & & 2006-08-08 10:17:57
350 2047 hi. My gf has been telling me that it really hurts her when she tries to put 2 or more fingers in her vagina. she says that a month ago she used to be able to but now they just.... don't fit and it really hurts. One finger is fine. what do you think the reason to this is? she says that a while back her ex boyfriend who was the first to finger her pretty much just shoved his fingers in causing her GREAT pain and she hasnt wanteda boy to do anything to her since. could her current problem be due to the fact that this happened?? 2006-07-24 02:48:02
350 2049 Hello and welcome. I think it might be to do with the previous BFs harsh treatment, yes. If shoving his fingers in hurt her, this can make the muscles around the vagina& learn to contract (spasm) in response to previous pain as soon as any type of penetration is attempted. This is the body's way of trying to prevent further painful experiences. In other words, she is now anticipating pain because of what her ex did. This response can be primary where a woman always has problems due to psychological fears and such or it can be secondary where it is usually due to some type of pain caused by rough treatment, rape, bad experience at the doctors (Smear tests),& sexual abuse or infection/injury anywhere in the vulva that causes pain during sex. It can also be caused simply by a change of partners. Sometimes it is situational, sometimes it is not. The trick is to not force anything in there and cause any pain because this will just reinforce the condition and make it worse. You GF should start to work on training her vagina to take things again without spasming, gradually working up until it can take something of penis size. She might just want to get more familiar with her vulva first although I don't think she's that bad off if she is able to insert her own fingers. Still, getting herself even more familiar will help. There are lots of things that can be used as dilators if she can't buy an actual set of vaginal trainers. Smaller size dildos, tampon applicators, some other women in the vag groups use candles or certain vegetables with condoms on them and always use plenty of lube too. Kegel exercises can help gain more muscles control and help them to relax. Squeezing the muscles around the vagina for about 10 seconds and then let them fully relax. You can tell which muscles they are by telling her to stop the flow of urine midflow& when she's using the loo. Only do this a couple of times because it isn't good to keep doing it. You only need to stop the urine once or twice to figure out which muscles they are. She can do these exercises whenever she wants without anybody noticing. In fact, they are good for all women because better trained PC muscles can result in better sex. There are also reverse kegels which are just as helpful where the women pushes outwards slightly (Bears down). This comes in handy when dilating and such because it encourages the muscles to part and open up more. Tell her not to push out too hard though. Gently does it. Also, with her one finger, she can insert it then push it to the side against certain points. Imagine her vaginal opening is a clock and there is a 12 oclock, 6 oclock, 3 oclock and 9 oclock. She should push her finger against each of these points to help train them to be streteched open and relax. it doesn't cause me much pain at all doing this and it wears off after a minute or so. Once the pain has worn off, it might even be possible to insert another finger. The name for this spasming& is called vaginismus and affects a lot of women to some extent during their lives. I have primary vaginismus and have never been able to engage in IC because of it. I'm working with dilators (Vaginal trainers). I could always insert 1 finger but had to work up from there. I'm now on #3 dilator out of a set of 4 but I've been slacking on the practise. I should get back to it. I don't know but too many inexperienced lads tend to be way too rough with the vulva and vagina. My ex was too and it just hurt rather than felt good. There are a couple of vaginismus yahoo groups for women with vag to talk to each other and ask questions etc...if you want to tell your GF about those. I made so much progress with mine since joining them and no longer felt so alone and isolated because it isn't one of those things you can just talk to people about. If you have anymore questions or would like the links to the yahoo groups, fire away. There is so much more to it than this and knowledge is power where this is concerned so do as much research on it as you can. The main thing is that she can get over this and have it fully cured. 2006-07-24 08:56:28
350 2059 awesome, thanks a lot, i'll tell her about this. is there any way to find out if you have vaginismus without consulting a doctor?? 2006-07-25 00:06:30
350 2063 Many women self diagnose themselves when they realise they can't insert things. Most women require some form of proffessional help in order to get through it but some get through it on their own. Obviously, to be formally diagnosed, you have to see a health proffessional and be examined..... It took me a long time to muster the courage, I kept it completely to myself for years. Joining the vag group changed me in a way that I never imagined and gave me the courage to start facing it and fighting it. I told a few close family although I regret telling some because there is no support/understanding comes from them. If your GF ends up having this, tell her to choose wisely the people she decides to tell about it. If your GF decides to get herself checked out to see if she does have this, tell her to also& be wise in choosing who she sees because it seems many docs and gyns are totally clueless about vaginismus. Many women in the vag group have been told simply to have a few glasses of wine and then try....which is ludicrous. Tell her NOT to accept any such advice. Be sure to do your own research into it. I've been lucky that the GP& I saw knew what it was and was understanding although she admitted she wasn't knowledgeable enough about it to help me herself, she referred me to a clinic that deals with that type of thing. I'm now being transferred to somewhere nearer to where I live that will help me with all my issues such as anxiety, skin picking, vag, the lot. NHS waiting lists are a pain here in the UK but it's better than nothing. Your GFs vag might not be so deep rooted as what mine probably is so she might be able to get through it on her own using vaginal trainers and relatively quickly too. & 2006-07-25 08:18:12
350 2068 Hi, There are many possible causes of painful penetration. Here are links to some information on the subject: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#pain1] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin2.htm#pain1 [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm Brad 2006-07-25 11:22:09
350 2078 Awesome. thanks a lot :) 2006-07-25 23:53:13
352 2051 I'm about to get married and would like a doctor to cut my hymen in such a way that there wount be any pain the first time my husband and I have sex for the first time. My husband too be is fine with this idea and I would like to know if there is such a procedure. Thanks bdstone 2006-07-24 16:24:46
352 2053 I'm cringing by just thinking of it.& :shock: Sounds scary! Having sex the first time does not always mean it's going to hurt.& My first time didn't hurt a bit, and there was no blood.& As many of us women say, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."& I think it would hurt you more to be torn by your doctor than it would be by your husband. 2006-07-24 17:11:31
352 2055 There is no reason why it has to hurt the first time you have sex. First time doesn't hurt every woman anyway,& I hear about many who say they felt no pain at all. Sometimes, the hymen has already torn away for the most part itself due to things like bike riding and such. Still, rather than have surgery, you can stretch the hymen yourself using your fingers. Just insert them a little and then push against all the sides in turn. Maybe get some vaginal trainers/ dilators to get your vagina accustomed to taking objects. Dilators come& I sets with 4-7 sizes depending on which& brand you go for. You can just practise with those and they tend to stretch the hymen and help it wear away without you evening noticing. Having surgery isn't a dead cert that your first time will be painless either. A lot of the time, it might not just be the hymen that causes pain. A vagina that has never been gradually trained is likely to feel pain anyway if it suddenly has something the size of a penis inserted when it has had nothing inserted before in your whole life and it is the PC muscles that cause that pain, not the hymen. PC muscles need to be trained just like every other muscle type. Using fingers or dilators to train your vagina will help with both the hymen and the PC muscles. The largest dilator tends to be the same size as an average penis so if you can use one of those then graduating to a real penis will be much easier than just taking a penis with no previous vaginal training. There is a procedure called a hymenectomy where the hymen& tissue& is basically just cut away. It is mainly done on women who have an excessively thick hymen that won't break and is causing a problem with IC but that isn't the case with most women. I'm sure others will have additional advice to give too. 2006-07-24 17:21:06
352 2056 Having sex for the first time will not be painful. Yes there's a little discomfort when he first penetrates but it's nothing horrible or something you can't handle. Usually having sex the first time does not last very long. If your husband goes in slow and you guys take it slow it will not hurt. I promise you that. I was very scared that it was going to hurt the first time I had sex and I was very surprised. It didn't hurt at all and I didn't bleed. I think getting surgery is not necessary. 2006-07-24 19:31:35
352 2058 To make things slip in a bit easier, a good amount of lube will do the trick.& I personally like Astroglide, it doesn't dry up quickly like some other lubricants. 2006-07-24 19:43:57
352 2065 Liquid Sylk is another great one. I use that for my dilating because I got free tubes with them but when it runs out, I'll probably switch to a cheaper one because thats expensive. 2006-07-25 08:42:44
352 2066 Reading this has helped alot. Being as I was just wondering if it could be done (not set on doing it) I have reconsidered and will just deal with the discomfort like everyone else. Thanks bdstone 2006-07-25 08:49:28
352 2069 Hi, You will probably want to read the information linked to below, as doing what everyone else does isn't necessarily a good idea either. :? www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm Brad 2006-07-25 11:31:15
352 2102 I don't think that the breaking of the hymen causes pain.& It is more of the vagina muscles getting used to the penis size.& I felt nothing when my hymen broke.& I wouldn't have known if it weren't for the blood coming out.& Getting his penis in was a whole different story.& If you're worried about the pain, work on your vaginal muscles by strengthening them (with Kegel exercies) and by stretching them with your fingers gradually working up to his penis size. Plus make sure you're properly aroused.& That doesn't mean when you're wet .& It is when you actually feel the muscles in your vagina tightening and you feel a desire to be penetrated.& And always have some sort of lubrication near by at least the first few times till you get a feeling of how things are. 2006-07-26 12:23:50
352 2323 I certainly would not be worried. Everyone is different, you might be one of the lucky ones. I'm a very, very small person (5'2", hundred pounds), and this alone had me worried about pain. My boy is an average size. I didn't make any effort to stretch anything down there, and really expected it to be a lot of blood and pain. There was nothing the first time. Not even a tiny bit of discomfort. It doesn't feel any different now than it did the first time (besides that we've improved our skills.) ... Don't worry about it. Even if it does hurt, it's worth it... And practice will make the pain go away ^_^ 2006-08-07 00:00:47
352 2465 From my own personal experience, I think the most effective way to avoid pain with intercourse is to be VERY, VERY aroused& before he penetrates you (which means a LOT of foreplay centered around your pleasure). That's the only thing that has worked for me. I don't know about the pain associated with my hymen breaking because I don't believe mine was intact the first time I had intercourse. 2006-08-27 12:01:19
353 2061 hey i'm new here.& i'm 22 year old male in a new relationship with the girl of my dreams and she feels the same way about me.& we've been together for about 3 months and have been having sex for about 1 month.& Here's the deal.& in my last relationship (3yrs long)& she was my first. we had sex probalby 3-5 times per week on average.& we both came at the same time almost everytime.& & I know because I could tell and she would let me know if she did or didn't come.& & the last year or so of the relationship i didn't have much& of a& sex drive, she& wanted it more than me usually.& I think it was becaus I& knew the relationship was on the outs. now i'm with& a girl that i'm& totally crazy about.& & i think she's "the& one" and she& thinks the same about me.& the only problem is that we've had different sexual pasts.& I& think she's been taken advangage of sexually in the& past.& & What i mean is that her first boyfriend basically used her for sex.& It seems like she's& never really been able to orgasm.& i believe it because her past& experiences& with sex being negative have& kept her from it.& & I do not believe that she has had orgasm in the& dozen or so times we've had sex.& Now i'm the one in the relationship who wants it all the time and& she does maybe twice a week.& It is hard for me because I& don't want to have sex with her if she's not wanting it.& It's not any good for me if I can tell she's not into it.& In other words, i don't want it to be a one-way thing.& I don't want to initiate all the time.& & I'm frustrated because& i feel like& i have to& try to get her in the mood& most of the time. I havn't brought up any of this with her yet.& I think it is too soon.& but now we are getting to where we can talk about this kind of stuff together.& Any advice on what i should say to her?& & I wan't her to be able to orgasm with me.& I belive it is something every woman can achieve regularly.& I belive it leads to& a healthy sex life for a couple.& This is important to me right now becaus I would like to spend the rest of my life with this girl, even if nothing changes. sorry for such a long post.& i felt i had to get this out.& 2006-07-25 01:04:56
353 2064 & I wouldn't go down the path of getting too obsessed with her having orgasms. Orgasm isn't the be all and end all of life or sex. People can still enjoy sex without it and chasing after it too much will just put additional pressure on your GF, like she hasn't already suffered enough of that, and result in orgasm for her being even more elusive. Yes, there are way too many guys out there who still believe that women are simply sexual tools that exist purely to please a man sexually. Most women go along with it without even realising thats how it is. If you concentrate on just enjoying each other and pleasuring each other without any pressure to orgasm and all the rest, orgasm is more likely to happen. A woman must be totally relaxed and comfortable to enjoy orgasm and she can't be that if she's worrying about what her partner will think of her if she does not. You say that orgasm leads to a healthy sex life...that is wrong, it does not. You don't need orgasm to have a healthy sex life, you need the right attitude towards each other and sex. Making a woman feel pressured into orgasm just to make yourself feel good is not the way to a healthy sex life and you don't need to go as far as getting openly frustrated about her not orgasming for her to feel under pressure. We already feel under enough pressure because of the media etc....stating we should all be having mind-blowing orgasms whenever we engage in sex and, if we do not, we are not normal and are treated as abnormal by our partners who have also been brainwashed into believing what the media and society in general& hypes on about. & 2006-07-25 08:38:12
353 2067 i'm not putting any pressure on her and i'm not obsessing about it, i know that would only make it harder.& I know it will happen if we just enjoy each other.& Like you said, she needs to be totally comfortable and relaxed.& This morning she just laid on top of me with& our arms around each other.& & Feeling each other's bodies and slowly got into it.& She actually came before me!& 2006-07-25 09:24:10
353 2072 You stated that you wanted her to have regular orgasms with you and that it was important to you right now! If she knew that, she'd probably feel like she was letting you down if she didn't orgasm. Is it important to her? Has she said anything about it herself?& In your second post, you said she came before you.& Do you mean she orgasmed? Rather than mention orgasm, maybe just ask her if there is anything she might like to try sexually. Ask her if she's satisfied with the way things are, if there is anything she'd like to see changed. She may bring orgasm up herself, she may not. It isn't an issue for everyone. I think it will be safe to admit you notice she often doesn't seem like she wants to do it and ask her if there are any reasons why and if there is anything that she feels might make her feel more desire. 2006-07-25 17:33:24
353 2091 she has mentioned before that she likes so have sex even if she does not orgasm. one day we asked each other& what was the most times we've had sex in one day.& we both said about 4 or 5.& then i asked her (jokingly) if she climaxed every time because I did.& then that's when she said it feels good to have sex even without climax.& yes she orgasmed last time.& however, now that i've been thinking, the orgasm is not that important as long as we both enjoy the sex.& but i am still concerned about her sex drive.& before we even started having sex, she would tease me saying the she liked to have sex morning, noon, and nite.& (we were together for 2 months before having sex so we talked about it somewhat often) I will do what you said, mention it that i notice she doesn't want it very often, or not near as much as she said she would.& & I believe she is a little stressed right now, and I know that will kill your sex drive.& It has been a sex drive killer for me in the past.& She just graduated from college and is having trouble finding a job in her field.& It is a healthcare field that was supposed to have lots of jobs, so she is a little disappointed and stressed about it.& 2006-07-26 09:44:17
353 2094 Well, as you say, that can affect it a lot but then there is the good old fact of her maybe just not having a sex drive as active as yours anyway. I& get the impression& it is more common for the woman to have a lower sex drive than the bloke although, sometimes, it is the other way round. There are also other possiblities such as medications etc... Couples often start off having sex a lot at first whilst it's all new and exciting but things tend to quieten down as the relationship goes on. Some people are more likely to feel horny at night and others in the morning..etc...and this might well not coincide with when your partner feels that way. You know that she can orgasm because she has and you also know she can enjoy sex without the orgasm so there is no reason at all to worry about whether she has an orgasm or not. No woman has an orgasm every single time, it just doesn't happen. If they say they do, they're probably lying....or faking....There isn't really a fool proof way of proving that& a woman& isn't faking either. I've never had to fake one but I'm sure I could and make it look just like the real thing. Jobs in the health field are low in the UK. Are you in the UK? I read about people training to be nurses and doctors and then they can't find jobs. 2006-07-26 10:16:14
353 2100 no i'm in the US.& I guess the reason i'm even thinking about all this is because in my last relationship the girl wanted it more than me.& And now it the other way around and i'm not used to it.& I think my sex drive was down because of stress and I believe i have sexual side effects from my ADD medicine.& which I don't take when i'm out of college in the summer.& now that i'm not on it very much, my sex drive is back up.& my girlfriend also takes an anti-depressant, i'm not sure which one.& She says it's for a "chemical imbalance."& that could be effecting her also. 2006-07-26 12:13:11