Old Discussion Forum - From 2005 to 2009
Female Sexuality - 2005 Topics

Topic ID Post ID Post Text Date & Time
11 23 Hello All, How many of you have dreams that influence the way you express your sexuality? I took part in a debate a while ago and thought it would be a good topic to have here too. Some women dream of having another woman as a lover but in reality they are only physically attracted to the man / males in their lives. Why is that? Others have dreams where they are highly sexual and act out scenes in their dreams which leads to them becoming highly aroused on waking. But in real life they find themselves not able to act out or unwilling to act the way they were in their dream. What are your thoughts on this? What dreams do you have that have influenced the way you are when taking part in sexual acts? Do you think dreams are another way of fantasising or living out your fantasies in your subconscious mind? Do you keep your sensual dreams private or do you share them with your partner? Do you remember your dream at all and just wake up aroused not remembering what you dreamt? But you knew it was good :-) Enjoy Princess 2005-04-11 11:58:53
11 33 Hi, I believe social mores play a much bigger part in our daily activities and day dreams than in night dreams. To a great extent though I believe dreams are nothing more than dreams. For example, while they may indicate anxiety, they may not indicate anything at all. For women female/female physical intimacy is more acceptable than for men and male/male intimacy. There is always a sensual or erotic aspect to intimacy. There is also a very large gray area when it comes to what is simply physical intimacy and sensual or erotic touch. Women like to hug and be close. I believe sex play among young girls is common but the older they become the more that adhere to social mores and "grow out of it." They may experiment in high school and college but get serious after, perhaps dumping their female partner in the process. Women are attracted to other women, or at least to women who they want to look or be like. This is why they use half naked women, cleavage,& on the front cover of "women's" magazines. We idolize the female figure so I think it only natural that perhaps women are more attracted to the female body that the male body. In The-Clitoris.com surveys women state a fraction more have been sexually aroused looking at nude photos of women than men. One would expect perhaps that nude men would be more arousing for them, and perhaps that is the expectation that adds to the confusion. 70% of women report thinking about, imagining, or fantasizing about sex with women, 90% men. According to the surveys& 35% are bisexual or bi-curious and 5% are lesbian. So 30% of heterosexual women have thought about sex with women? Accepted sexual orientation seems to have little influence on what is erotic for women. Sexual orientation is a scientific term initially used to measure sexuality that developed social, and political,& significance, which didn't exist prior, or so I read somewhere. I believe also many women have trouble understanding and accepting their sexual desire, as society seldom acknowledges it. They perhaps try to desire that which they are expected to, not what they really do, as that requires some degree of selfishness. It should be noted studies have found a low correlation to what women say is sexually arousing for them and what actually is, when they are shown different types of videos. Now men have a six inch erection that is hard to overlook, but is female arousal harder to detect? The surveys indicate women have strong indicators of when they are aroused, lubrication, heat, swelling, and pulsing, so why the low correlation? Is it a matter of perceiving that you are aroused, that is is acceptable to be? Or does female arousal occur more slowly and that is why? Vaginal lubrication reportedly occurs within 30 seconds of exposure to erotic material. Some things to ponder :) Brad 2005-04-12 09:37:14
11 37 Hi I'm Luisa and new here..I have my own idea about sexal dreams,,dreaming& of having sex with another female actually doesn't mean the you're lesbian only that you may have fantasies about a different feeling or some missing in your sex life. I had the advantage of experiencing sex with other girls since very young and have a very defined difference in the feelings with boys and girls. To me sex with another female is emotionally fulfilling becasue we are not expecting penetration, even if we use dildoes, so we can concentrate on more subtle things to obtain pleasure& but with a boy the expectation is to be penetrated& and be "filled" and also some kind of "surrender" to his maleness and I doesn't mean I don't enjoy it but it is more phisycal than emotional. HJope it does make some sense to you. Luisa.. 2005-04-12 15:02:03
11 40 I wish I felt comfortable in sharing all my sexual dreams with my wife.& Unfortunately, such is not the case.& To me, and I'll just bet to the majority of our& readers, they are not that wild.& I know I couldn't be the only male in the world that would love to be able to explore their dreams with their partners.& Dreams (good ones) and fantasies are part of life's greatest blessings, I think. 2005-04-12 20:15:23
11 46 Hi friend...unfortanetely we human are some times very egotistic and selfcentered..I found by experience that no matter how much you love your partener, anytthing secret that you shared can be used against you in a moment of anger or if you break and go separate ways..we human behave crazy...I found that for me works better to confide in a stranger because in that way you can unload your "bagage" relatively safe and maybe that other person may share your fantasies& ...good luck and wish you find another person tto share... kiss Luisa 2005-04-13 20:05:34
11 47 I think you're right.& I find it highly stimulating to share my dreams and fantasies with a stranger.& Maybe they just might share some of them.& Mac 2005-04-14 22:25:00
11 48 Hi Mac...thanks for the reply....I find very exciting to share my fantasies and my experiences with other people because I found that I'm not alone also they enrich me emotionally..remember that& each person is a miniature universe.Kisses Luisa PS feel free to use my email ;) 2005-04-15 22:22:10
11 74 hi Luisa "we human are some times very egotistic and selfcentered" Very correct "we human behave crazy" Yes .. we are "remember that each person is a miniature universe" which means everyone of us basically have everything within ourselfs .. am i correct luisa ? I love your postings for only onething,, that is they are correct to the best of my knowledge and experience. I hope we would be able to come accross more of your experience (which are true by experience) and many many others will find them very educative and knowledgable. thank you athula 2005-04-29 06:23:37
11 78 Thanks for your kind message..made me blush he,he,he (are you male or female?) the only thing is that I have some life experience& & thanks again big kisss& Luisa 2005-04-29 18:45:54
12 27 Hi, I belonged to the original group, have never posted, was too busy reading and learning.& I am interested in anal sex, what is the best way to start, best lube?& How to find prostate for my mate?& All feedback will be greatly appreciated.:cool: 2005-04-11 21:42:29
12 28 [user=6]Sadie[/user] wrote: "Hi, I belonged to the original group, have never posted, was too busy reading and learning.& I am interested in anal sex, what is the best way to start, best lube?& How to find prostate for my mate?& All feedback will be greatly appreciated.:cool:" Best way to start is slowly and explore...fingers, mouth, tongue...with and without lube...all around the area and see what you like about penetration... There are hundreds of lubes and creams and such...you pick and you decide... And then there are all the positions...and some women like double penetration too...it is all as varied as there are people! It is also good to make sure that the anus and rectum are free of smell and poop...so check this yourself at first with a lubed finger... Best, Randy A 2005-04-12 03:57:31
12 30 Hi, I recommend exploring anal massage first, no penetration. You need to work on relaxing the muscles and getting accustomed to the stimulation. Many women are surprised to learn how sensitive this area is, if explored gently and slowly. Guys are perhaps more inhibited about anal play than women, because of the false believe it is something only gay men do. Apply tons of lubricant first. Run your finger around the anus in light circles. Press in on the side of the anus with the pad of your finger and then release. Don't put your finger in the center and try to push in. Get the muscles to relax first. If your partner or you don't enjoy this part explore some more but don't try penetration. Once the anus relaxes press in deeper on the side of the anus and slowly allow your well lubricated finger to slip in. Again test the waters, slowly in, slowly out. This should perhaps take an hour, massaging the buttocks and vulva or penis in alternation. When one to two fingers go in you may want to try using a tapered butt plug. Well lubed allow it to slip in slightly and then allow the anus to press it back out. Repeat this in and out very slowly until the plug slips in. Plugs come in small, medium, and large, but small and medium are probably all most need. Once you get the plug to slip in all the way explore other types of sex, massage, oral, and perhaps intercourse. Be aware in the case of women their pelvic cavity is already partially filled and putting something into the vagina may not be as easy or requires more care. Plugs allow women to explore double penetration with a single partner. Before anal sex it is a good idea to climb in the tub or shower and rinse the anal area and slip a finger inside your rectum to see if you are empty. Lubricating the anus may allow you to expel any contents or you may need to inject a small amount of warm water; use a Fleet enema bottle that you have empty the contents out of, as it is& too harsh for anal play. If you use water you may want to do this a couple hours prior to anal play to make sure the water is fully expelled. The more water you use, the more time you need to wait. Fecal matter is a normal part of anal sex, so be prepared, for at least trace amounts. It comes with the territory, but is seldom mentioned. The pleasure experienced usually makes this fact insignificant. You may want to do this activity laying on a bath towel and have a wet wash cloth nearby too. Anal sex is considered a high risk sexual activity as far as STD's& and STI's so condoms and surgical gloves are a wise idea. The gloves will reduce friction and likely make it more enjoyable for both. If you are dating and not using a condom during vaginal intercourse it is still wise to use a condom during anal intercourse, and makes cleanup easier. Brad 2005-04-12 08:38:50
12 39 I won't expound to the degree that Brad did but his advice is, I think, excellent.& Anal sex can prove to be fabulous for male or female.& The pleasure to be had is tremendous.& I would just say that "SLOW, SLOW, SLOW" and "GENTLE" are prime considerations.& Also, a good enema prior to anal sex is a definite plus.& I find that a little bit more than a Fleet enema is best.& A 1-2qt enema, retained for little while, will assure good cleansing of the bowel and make anal sex so much more enjoyable.& Don't be afraid of the enema.& It can be very erotic also if given with TLC. & Of course that is when penetration is finally desired.& Go slow and enjoy.& It is fantastic!!! 2005-04-12 20:07:59
12 53 The Prostate is little less than finger length away from the anus at the front of the body. It's small round and soft normally. You're partner will know when you found it. Kemi 2005-04-20 14:45:03
12 96 You are so right, the enema was very erotic, thank you. Sadie 2005-05-08 07:42:39
12 98 When using enemas, I think it's important to be careful not to do it too often. Not that I'm an expert but I was told that& enemas can affect the bacteria population of the gut. 2005-05-08 15:11:15
12 101 Having worked as an orderly for almost 20 years I can say that enemas can be harmful if used too often. They can cause the bowl to become lazy and dependant on them for elimination. They can lower good bacteria count but antibiotics are more likely to cause this problem. A good resource page is found on this site. [url] www.chclibrary.org/micromed/00046780.html 2005-05-10 10:23:08
12 106 I enjoy anal sex quite frequently.& At least once a week.& My boyfriend and I are very open during sex.& But and empty bowel and lots of lube is key for immense pleasure.& a good and not so painful position starting out would be starting out missionary style (him on top), instead of it going in the vagina...slip it in your butt....slowly.& Once you feel comfortable then you can move your legs up higher around your neck, more intense pleasure.& if he is patient it can be wonderful.& You are top is also good when starting out just because it gives you a lot of control w/ putting his penis in and how fast it actually goes in.& Then once you become a veteran, go for the doggy style, start out slowly, once in and relaxed he can go nuts and it makes you scream.& Have fun, its an awesome ride!! 2005-05-12 02:26:44
12 109 luvs2dance, thanks for the visual! I have a tendency to picture things when people give descriptions and this was a good one. ;) 2005-05-12 09:45:39
12 110 glad I could be of help! ;) 2005-05-13 00:45:58
12 126 Hey, im new here, and had the site reccomende by an ex-girlfriend. We talked about sex more than we actually did it, as at the time we were both still fairly shy, but we talked about the whole "back door" act, and we both always though that it was a one way system (exit no entry) lol, now though i would think about it but would not be compfortable unless i was sure that the girl would enjoy it, and i would never ask for it, it would have to be asked to me. (im 17 years old now) btw:) 2005-05-17 13:55:24
12 132 well you probably wont find a whole lot of 17 year old girls willing to try anal sex.& And not everyone likes it.& But if the miracle happens and you find a girl who is willing to explore my only advice for guys out there is to be very patient.& dont force the issue or yourself into her.& If done properly, a woman can enjoy that immensley(spelling).& good luck 2005-05-18 02:07:04
12 136 yeh, could not agree more, but like i said, i would never force it upon anyone, i hate the feeling that your making some-one act differentely or make them feel uncompfortable. 2005-05-18 09:05:19
12 298 Hey guys and gals, Lets see if you all or just one can answer this question for me. My wife and I have had anal sex quite a lot. I always take my time, making sure that foreplay is extended for quite some time. Anal massage, while performing cunnilingus is my preferred method of relaxing her. When I feel her anal muscles relax, then and only then will I attempt to penetrate. Beginning with my pinky finger and working up to my thumb. Keep in mind that I have large hands. Each step is taken in time (i.e. when she is relaxed enough for me to stroke her anus with my pinky, then i move to the next larger digit.& As I stated before, we have been having anal sex for a while now but, here lately she doesn't want to. I know that I haven't hurt her in anyway, because when we do have sex in that form, it will usually end in a mind blowing orgasm for her. So what I want to know is how a woman can love it one minute and leave it the next?????? 2005-07-06 13:09:25
12 321 there are reasons why we might want to do anal sex one week and not the next.& sometimes it may have to do w/ her stomach feeling sick and anal sex does sometimes get a bowel movement going after.& making a mess is not a real turn on and can be quite embaressing.& Some women do it just in the beginning to keep their man interested because its not something a lot of women will try.& And once they got their man, suddenly the anal sex isn't happening anymore.& that's a reach though, dont know if that's what it could be. another idea would be how easily women can get turned off by silly things.& So if it worked one week, and the next week her hormones are off due to pms or whatever, she might not be as kinky.& i know sometimes i must freak my fiance out with how high my libido is, but also the fact that 3 weeks out of the month i'm a total freak.& and then that one week right before my period, i'm emotional, needy, need more kissing and less rough sex.& I still want sex, but usually not as "freaky" as i normally would be.& Women are confusing, even to ourselves.& I dont know why I do or say the things I say sometimes, such a mystery! be happy she lets you penetrate her anally at all.& every girl i know either hasn't tried it and swears she never will, or has by accident and swears she never will again. 2005-07-10 20:43:31
13 31 Hi, As of two weeks& ago I am no longer working at a 40 hour per week job so I should have more opportunity to contribute to the group, like the days of old. :D& I decided the website and the associated businesses required more of my time than I could provide working three jobs, so now I have just two, the website and service manager for a scuba diving store. The fact that I run the website is also known by friends, family, and cowokers, which was not the case a year ago, as I live in a conservative area. This past week was more eventful than I had anticipated with multiple computer crashes and Yahoo zapping the old group; I am currently using my old computer. :X& & I am hoping things settle down somewhat this week. Keeping my fingers crossed. Brad 2005-04-12 08:50:39
13 35 LOL :D so you are out of the closet at last ? do you mind if I ask how the people around you, friends family etc, took it when they learnt of what your other 'job' is? well done :-) Princess 2005-04-12 14:46:29
13 38 Go for it Brad.& Thanks for all you are doing and will do in the future. 2005-04-12 19:54:20
13 41 Hi Princess, Well, most are pretty surprised, as most would never guess that I would do something like this. I guess I come off very conservative, but reserved is more like it. It is kind of like when they find out I am also a former Marine. I haven't had any bad reactions, most probably don't know how to respond, or don't express their feelings. When I do my shows and have my The-Clitoris.com banner up that is when I get the shocked and disgusted looks from a few. Of course some of the ladies I was working with are interested in a toy party, so I have been creating a new business this past week, Enchanted Evening Parties. When I told my mother what I had been doing for five years she wasn't overly happy, partly because I didn't tell her, and partly because she doesn't approve. My father is okay with it. A couple of the ladies at my current job have worked or will work for me in the future so they are okay with it. At the Christmas party for the company we had a while elephant gift exchange and a couple of the girls were fighting over my gift, one not wanting to give it up. On the way to my latest trip I was giving a couple of my friends who were going with me a ride to the airport. She mentions how she had some information for my website and then proceeds to tell me information he probably would preferred I didn't know.& & :D& So it can be interesting. & Brad 2005-04-12 23:01:46
13 42 Well, you know, way back when I joined the Clitoris Yahoo group I quickly found out it wasn't just another porn group and that there were legitimate people, men and women, who wanted answers to questions and also many who contributed many of those valuable answers.& Of course, it has always had it's erotic and senuous appeal.& We all love sex but this group was different.& I have never posted very much but would usually visit at least several times a week to catch up on things.& I have never claimed to be an expert on sexuality but I think I know my share and I've learned a lot about other people from the group.& I think there is still much to be discovered about that lovely little pink bud that is named the "clitoris".& I've also loved the website and of course I love the female masturbation contributions (we all have our weakness and that's one of mine).& But all in all the website and the group are thumbs up as far as I'm concerned.& Who can know the mind of Yahoo and really, who cares?& It appears that this forum will take off and Brad, we owe it all to you.& What better job can a man have or for that matter a woman also than to be able to study a woman's clitoris?& Just some of my musings!!!! 2005-04-12 23:19:55
15 49
2005-04-19 02:32:17
15 50 Hi, I don't know if you would consider it or not but why don't you go to a gynecologist and let him examine you.& I have heard of a procedure that can be done to help the clitoral glans have more exposure from under the hood when it is stimulated.& I'm by no means an expert but I don't think you will ever have your frustration lifted and really feel pleasure from masturbating or oral sex until you can get the glans exposed more.& Having to work so hard for an orgasm would tend to give anyone, male or female, a bad attitude.& You are young and you should be enjoying your body and having many, many orgasms.& It is not right to deny yourself of this God given ecstasy.& Give it some consideration and don't be embarrassed to tell a doctor what you've written here.& They've heard it all and will not be shocked and it just might open up your whole world to the sexual pleasure that you deserve.& Keep us informed of you progress and good luck. 2005-04-19 20:29:38
15 51 As much as I hate to admit it, there's really very little doctor patient confidentiality where I live. I'm worried something will go down on my chart, and my parents will find out. Since I'm under 18, I'm pretty sure they have the legal right to look at any of my medical records. I go to the same doctors as my mother, so I don't trust them- especially my primary care physician. I also was at the gynocologist a few months ago, so it's going to be nearly a year before I go back. I was too concerned about hiding my numerous scars from previous self-injury to think about sexual disfunction. I don't want to be sent back to the psychotically conservative therapists again who blame all my problems on being too young to mentally handle sex, going so far to say my boyfriend who is two years older than me RAPED ME, and I'm just in denial, because obviously a 16 year old can't fall in love with a 14 year old and if they have sex at ages 17 and 15 after they'd been dating 9 months or so, the guy MUST be raping the girl. Ergh. Especially if they dated for two years total, had a breakup, and then got back together. Because, you know, commited couples can't ever take a break for a few months or anything- even if the one person had to go to college out of state so they couldn't really get back together after the fight was over. But yes, I guess next year I'll talk to my gyno. Until then, though...? 2005-04-19 23:13:14
15 52 Hi, Hooded clitorises usually are not a problem, but sometimes surgery is necessary to remove the excess tissue. The hood covering the glans can be removed partially or totally, I recommend partial removal so the glans is still normally concealed. It seems that plastic surgeons do this surgery more than gynecologists. One study found about 30% of who where not able to experience orgasm could after having this surgery, but 60% could not. This subject is addressed some on the page about clitoral adhesions in the Health section of the main website. You can stretch the hood a little by pulling on it on a regular basis. Be firm but gentle, as you want to stretch no tear the tissue. You can also insert a lubricated cotton swab, Q-Tip, under the hood and move it around in a circular motion to stretch the hood outward. This added lubricant may also help with stimulation, as it allows things to slide easier. You, all women, should probably use additional lubrication during manual stimulation of your vulva. Your posts likely indicate there are also emotional issues at play, that is conflict in the relationship and personal anxiety. Your sexual frustration is adding to this. If by chance you are taking an antidepressant,& they can impair or prevent orgasm. Vibrators are not created equal, but if the one you are using has some strength to it, it should provide sufficient stimulation for orgasm to occur. The fact that is doesn't likely indicates having your hood trimmed would not make having an orgasm easier for you. A lot of your problems with orgasms may result from anxiety over not having an orgasm. The more you try, and the more you fail, the harder or more impossible it becomes. Especially during partner sex explore pleasure and intimacy, not orgasm. Have sex for the fun and pleasure of it. Don't demand that your partner bring or attempt to bring you to orgasm every time. Take turns giving pleasure, on different days. If sex isn't fun without& orgasms, orgasms probably aren't going to make it any better. As far as cunnilingus, go for quality not quantity. Spend 15 minutes teaching him one skill rather than going for marathon sessions, at least until he develops some skill. You might demonstrate with your own tongue and hand what you want him to do. Keep in mind if you are having trouble masturbating to orgasm, things aren't likely to be different during cunnilingus. Brad 2005-04-20 09:33:20
15 55 Hi, I'm very sorry to hear of your problem. I'm sure it's not much fun and frustrating having sex and feeling like it's a big waste of time. One thing I suggest is stop using the vibrator. The numbing sensation you speak of will also reduce your chances of having orgasm any other way, and will lead to lack of sensation altogether. Abstain for a while and give it a rest. Make love later on when you feel ready again and this time take it slow, use lots of foreplay and oral, but no vibrations. Take your time and build up to it. Don't look for the sensations or orgasm; just let them come of their own accord. Love your partner and love yourself and try not to think of orgasm. The more you pay attention to it the more elusive it will be. Fantasy works in bed too... talk and have him talk and share some erotic fantasy together. No matter how strange or far fetch the idea may be. Good luck. Kemi 2005-04-20 15:07:30
15 94 Hi Ciniron, my suggestion would be to do kegal exercises diligently and develop your G-spot, then you can just pump up with the kegal exercise and have orgasm with partner or without.& The G-spot orgasm is much deeper and to me more satisfying.& The exercises may also make it easier to stimulate the clitoris, for me the exercises were giving orgasms within two weeks. Sadie 2005-05-08 06:27:31
15 95 Hi, I& & forgot to add that the kegal exercise made it possible for me to have the cervical orgasm, to me that is the best one, very deep, long lasting contractions that keep getting deeper. & Your partner can stimulate the cervix for orgasm by inserting one or two fingers to the end of vaginal orifice and move fingers gently around the edges, this produces a long lasting orgasm.& & We do it with me first pumping up with kegals or humping him during foreplay which also does the same as the kegaling once you have learned the kegal muscle and how to use it.& With this method it is possible for me to have the deep contractions for an hour or more, quit then from being tired and contractions almost too deep to tolerate and need orgasm. Sadie 2005-05-08 06:46:13
16 54 After reading the article on women that shave their genital area [url] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/shaving.htm, I'd like to comment that I find women that don't shave or just trim smell much nicer. I know it's not just me, as I've asked some others about it including lesbian women and the scent of a woman is nicer when not shaved. Also, shaving leaves a razor burn scent that reminds me of a mans face... doesn't do much for my sexual desires. Kemi 2005-04-20 14:49:44
16 65 Hmmmm.... over 100 views and not one other person has an opinion? Kemi 2005-04-26 08:34:46
16 66 Hi, I believe it is a matter of personal preference, more so the woman's than the man's. I am not comfortable with people saying others should or shouldn't do it based on their own reasons and motivations. There are those who argue both sides of the issue. In the book about cunnilingus I am reading now, Box Lunch by Diane Cage, the bisexual author highly recommends it, as it leaves the vulva more exposed to stimulation. I know some lesbians are against it for sexual political reasons and others rave about. I know many women like the look and feel of not having pubic hair, and some removed it prior to it being as popular as it is today. Others like their natural bush. The final result is that is really shouldn't matter to others what they do. I would like to add that recreational sex is different from procreative sex and what may be natural may not be what works best for recreational sex. Brad 2005-04-26 11:19:41
16 67 Thanks Brad, you make some good points about personal preferences, but I was referring more to the sent of the woman that shaves or doesn't shave. Hasn't anyone else noticed a difference? Kemi :? 2005-04-26 12:07:13
16 69 I have no idea about the scent of shaved genitals. I do notice that my armpits seem to& sweat more when shaved than when not shaved.& 2005-04-28 18:27:27
16 75 What can I say, I like unshaved armpits too. It must also hold natural body scent that I find appealing. :P Perhaps you notice it more on unshaved armpits since the sweat clings to the hair rather than evaporate right away? This is one of natures way of using the moisture to cool your body. The hair acts like the fins on your car radiator to cool you. 2005-04-29 07:52:05
16 83 [user=28]Kemi[/user] wrote: "Perhaps you notice it more on unshaved armpits since the sweat clings to the hair rather than evaporate right away? " & You misread& me slightly. I notice the sweat more when I have shaved my armpits. When I shave my armpits, the colour of my skin& gets dark with sweat very easily. When I don't shave my armpits, they are the same colour they normally are. 2005-04-30 17:33:48
16 99 My wife and I have recently started shaving our pubic hair. Admittedly, it was something that I initially encouraged her to do and then I also started shaving, in part to see what it was like but also because I thought it might visually 'enhance' my equipment. What is especially interesting is that we both find sex more exciting: we were always fairly adventurous, and have never said no to anything we both wanted to try. But, now oral sex is far more interesting and makes up a much longer part of our foreplay. I am literally fascinated with my wife's vagina as I have never been before. And, although she has always loved giving oral sex, now she is more likely to include my scrotum and perineum. On my part, I am exploring 'further afield' and anal sex is definitely on the menu. I don't know what purpose pubic hair serves - I imagine that it must do something. But, not only is pubic hair removal/reshaping de rigour, I think it is becoming harder and harder to find images anywhere on the internet of women with untouched pubic hair. Frankly, I salute this: pubic hairlessness is cleaner, cooler and by far sexier. 2005-05-09 01:38:52
16 100 i agree with magus, myself and wife use to shave, it was a suggession from my wife and i found it v. interesting. we engage in more oral sex when we both shave than without shave. credc 2005-05-09 05:06:19
16 105 Damn... I must be the only one here that likes pubic hair! :? 2005-05-10 12:53:37
16 111 kemi, I actually see what you are saying.& On myself I prefer everything shaved on myself except for a small landing strip up top, its just more comfortable, I only wear g-strings so w/ too much hair down there it is a little uncomfortable.& However.....i prefer my fiance to be hairy.& not so much that it chokes me, but his natural scent is so awesome turns me on so much. 2005-05-13 00:50:21
16 112 luvs2dance, thank you! I thought I was all alone here. I'm sure your fiance must find that your 'landing strip' holds some of your scent too. Thanks for sharing. ;) Kemi 2005-05-13 08:32:40
16 114 ok too funny, lmao, I am sure my little landing strip has some sort of smell.& My fiance says the good smells come from further down south.& This may sound gross, but if he doesn't shower for a day, that is the biggest turn on for me.& His genital region and ass smell awesome!& Dont mind me.....I am a bit of a freak! 2005-05-13 13:30:49
16 115 As my lady would say, "our kind of freaky". :P Kemi 2005-05-13 13:37:31
16 117 ahh, a kindred spirit.& you and your girl sound like us, very open to & w/ eachother about everything.& :cool: 2005-05-14 00:22:47
16 129 [user=28]Kemi[/user] wrote: "Damn... I must be the only one here that likes pubic hair! :?"& i think that when a woman has her natural hair it is super sexy, as soon as it is shaved its never the same again, although i wouldn't exactly complain if it wasnt lol:P 2005-05-17 14:03:49
16 297 Hello kemi, Lets talk about pubic hair. On a woman, i find it more appealing if she keeps her vaginal area clean shaven with the exception of a small area above her clitoris. Not only does this afford you the sight of her womanhood, you have the added benefit of not having to stop for bread while performing cunnilingus. Now don't misunderstand what i'm saying. A vagina that has all its natural growth can also be an object of endless beauty, however, during intercourse the pubic hair can chaff the penis shaft causing irratation. I have found this to be true whether or not a& substituted & lubricant is used. I am sure that you have experienced this sensation. I have read post's that deal with the act of shaving ones genital's, and I also find it to be a matter of self decision..... 2005-07-06 12:51:04
16 382 Hello everyone, I shaved completely about two months ago.& It feels really good to be completely shaved, but I noticed I have dark layer on my libia.& Not too dark, but it's there.& I hate it and for this reason I don't want my husband to look at me. Is this normal?& How can I remove this? YVY 2005-08-03 00:03:11
16 384 Yes, it is normal, many woman have dark pigmentation on the labia. It will not put men off, perhaps make them just a little curious. The dark layer could look pretty sexy. So don’t worry about it. PS: I have pictures showing a girl having such dark layer on her outer labia, looking sexy. But since the forum is public and thus for everybody open now, and the pictures could be regarded as being pornographic, I don’t know if it would be a good idea to upload them here. 2005-08-06 03:46:09
16 452 im a virgin, so i'm not sure what i'd prefer on a man or woman to be honest....but i think i'd prefer a male partner to have natural hair, and a woman to be clean shaven.& I& personally prefer being shaved myself, with the exception of having the aforementioned 'landing strip'. but then again I'm a red head, which is horrible in my opinion, plus the fact i have (to me anyways) rather large looking labia, the red hair kind of tops it off lol. but oh well, can't have it all right? lol & 2005-08-25 16:50:58
16 465 Hi and welcome to the group :) I find red hair to be absolutely gorgeous! I dont think you have anything to worry about. With labia size, I wouldnt worry about that either. Women range in size and shape in all aspects. Sometimes what we perceive about ourselves to be large, in reality, that sometimes turns out to be not true and just the way we see ourselves. It is a shame that the picture clitoris yahoo group was deleted as you could havce looked at photographs of other real women and I am sure you would have realised that your labia is not so large after all. Princess 2005-08-27 08:12:50
16 469 Hi, There are many of photos of the vulva on the pages linked to below: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/v_image1.htm Brad 2005-08-27 09:07:08
16 470 Hi Brad, thanks for the link. I had forgotten about that page on the main site sorry! ( slaps wrist :) Princess 2005-08-27 15:23:27
16 473 princess, brad - thanks for the replies :) That website is truely fascinating, thank you for posting the link for me. All of the pictures I'd seen of the female genitals in the past tended to show tiny lips etc, like the majority of porn stars/ glamour models. So I was slightly worried that my labia was oversized. It clearly isn't when I see some on that site. I can tell you I have a Classic Clam Shell, pretty much like the one on page 3, only I don't have a 'frilly fourchette' :)& so I don't think I have that much to worry about now.... 2005-08-28 06:37:13
17 56 Hi, I was wandering what do female prefer for a male's pubic hair fashion? Natural, brazilian, designs (stripe or letters)? I know its personal taste, so thats what i want, your opinion. - Xav 2005-04-21 18:33:34
17 57 My lady likes it when my pubic hair is trimed short so that it's prickly on her clit. Sometimes too prickly? :? 2005-04-22 13:31:34
17 108 my boyfriend trims just enough to that I am not choking on the short hairs when I am giving him a blow job.& nothing kills the mood quicker than your girlfriend hacking up hair like its a& furball.& I dont like it too short or bald, men are hairy and I love it. 2005-05-12 02:32:22
17 166 If males don't shave it/trim it, why should I? Well I've trimmed mine, because it would be horribly uncomfortable otherwise, but it does itch. IGH. Lesson kids, never do this with a razor, I think waxing is a better, but MORE PAINFUL way to go. I don't want my boyfriend going through traumatizing moments for me, with his pubic hair. Whoever made us, made us WITH hair. I'm sure there's a good reason why we have hair "there". :D 2005-05-30 21:05:34
17 198 I put up with the itch so that it isn't poking out the sides of my knickers. I like shaving it all off but when I do,& my doctor decides that's a great time& to send me out an appointment for a smear lol. I would be far too embarrassed to show off my bald bits to my doc. 2005-06-06 15:28:24
17 207 I have never waxed anything other than my eyebrows and that was painful.& I prefer to shave, but its an everyday occurance and I wish I didn't have to do it daily.& how much does a wax usually run?& and do you have to grow out full bush before they can wax it? or can they wax stubble?& just curious. virgin waxer 2005-06-07 01:39:28
17 299 Hi loves2dance, I'm just curious, can you actually go out to have your vagina waxed? I thought that would be something done in private by the wearer of the foliage. But if not, maybe i'll open my own wax salon..lmao 2005-07-06 13:20:15
17 300 Sorry loves2dance, I meant to offer a suggestion. My wife allows me to shave her (completely). Before we begin, I usually get her worked up sexually, if you're aroused its more comfortable to have someone between your legs, right?? I start with a hot towel, (like at the barber shops in the old days) this will open the pores from which the hair is growing allowing it to come out more easily. I myself prefer EDGE shaving gel for sensitive skin (don't use menthol). As you know your pubic hairs grow towards the opening of your vagina, he must shave you in this direction otherwise the end result will be multiple shaving bumps. Not very attractive.& This procedure can be very erotic and sensual for the both of you. Once he has finished the task and cleaned the area, then he can procede to lick you to your finish....... 2005-07-06 13:29:29
18 59 I have a question about an orgasm I recently had with my boyfriend, with whom I have been having sex with for about a year. We were having sex doggie style and I had a powerful orgasm. When we finished having sex, we noticed that there was blood on the sheets. I am a squirter and don't know if this had anything to do with it. Could you tell me what may have caused this "bleeding orgasm" and if there is anything wrong? 2005-04-22 21:55:48
18 61 Hi, Orgasm can bring about a woman's menstrual period a couples days early, if by chance it was the start of your period. Minor injuries during sex are not uncommon. If you were having intercourse in a new position or were more energetic it is possible you may have torn your hymen. Sorry that I don't have more to offer. Brad 2005-04-23 08:35:24
18 62 I've heard of women sometimes spotting during ovulation. So, that could be another possibility as well. If this was just a one time thing, and you felt no pain, it doesn't sound like any cause for worry. 2005-04-23 22:02:58
18 63 Hi fairydust, Is it at all possible that the blood came from him and not you? Do either of you have any sore feeling in the genital area? Are you sure it was blood and not just a heavy pinkish discharge that dried a sort of brownish blood colour? Sorry to be so graphic with that last part but it is not uncommon for women especially those who produce a significant amount of liquid during sex and in particular, orgasm, to at different times of the month produce a different colour discharge. This is nothing to worry about and as you dont mention any pain I would not worry. Just monitor things. If however, a smell starts to appear that you do not recognise, then a trip to the doctors may be necessary to rule out an infection. Infections can occur when the yeast levels change in the vagina. Food, different types of drink like blackcurrent juice, and different sexual positions can all be contributing factors to a mild yeast inbalance and can in turn cause a discharge. So if there is no pain and no smell with sticky discharge now, then there is probably nothing to worry about. Princess 2005-04-24 15:23:24
18 173 Weirdly, I had the same experience a while ago, and it was after doggystyle sex... Maybe that position makes abrasions more likely? 2005-05-31 21:46:35
18 1425 Well... I notice blood after 2 years of sexual life, and I felt pain 2 or 3 days, Of course I thought that I had& lost my virginess from the first time I introduce a tampon during & my period, I was 13, but now after I read where is really the hymen position I can say that I lost my virginess on that day, and is fun but after that I saw my vagina still looks close and beauty even at my 9 months pregnant! I feel happy that my babies are who gat me loose my virginess, I think maybe happend the sam to you, and you just didn't notice that you was still havin' hymen. & Aria 2006-04-13 17:41:48
18 1426 OHHH! and I forget! that day when I bleed, I had also a GREAT ORGASM, Maybe because as I read we need a little of pain to feel pleasure, and the best thing on it is that WOMANS LIKE YOU AND ME WE DIDN'T FELT PAIN LOSING IT! Aria 2006-04-13 17:43:33
18 1428 also, are you sure the blood even came from your vagina? is it possible one of you got cut or scratched during sex? or that one of you had some kind of injury that started bleeding during sex? 2006-04-14 05:43:05
18 1429 Hi! glad to have your answer, well, the thing is that when I finish the bleeding at third day, I check my vagina and I saw an scratch in the skin of my hymen, when I start to masturbate I didn't use anything to introduce my vagina, but then later passing the years at 14 and forward I start to put somethings while I was exited, but I never saw any change in my vagina intro, so it was that later I felt more exited putting somethings bigger as a bottle or things like that, this practice may cause that my hymen get more elastic and use to receive BIG things, so my husbands pennis was just 10 cms long and not thick, so I think it was the real reason, I swear that after I had my first baby my vagina looks ugly because I saw that skin broken looking like an octopus (:P), but now after I know it is normal, and passing the years I made Kedgel excercises and I got tight back, and better than when I was "Virgin". I am really very glad to receive your answer aria 2006-04-14 13:03:48
19 64 To the Friends of the Sponge, This press release went out this afternoon. Finally! Gene & & FDA Approves the Return of the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge Today® Sponge once again provides American women with their favorite over-the-counter contraceptive April 22, 2005—After an 11-year hiatus, the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge, once the most popular over-the-counter female contraceptive, has won re-approval for marketing from the Food and Drug Administration. From 1983 to 1994, when the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge was previously available in the U.S., more than 250 million Sponges were sold. Allendale plans to begin U.S. production immediately, and will begin national product distribution in summer 2005. The previous Sponge manufacturer, American Home Products, stopped making the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge in 1994, along with other products, due to complications with its production facilities. The move to halt production was an economic decision, unrelated to safety of the Sponge. Allendale Pharmaceuticals, a New Jersey-based consumer health care products company, bought the rights to the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge in 1998 and has been navigating the FDA approval process ever since. Today’s announcement means women in the United States will once again have access to this effective, hormone-free, contraceptive choice. Despite its absence from store shelves for the past decade, the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge still enjoys strong customer demand. “Daily calls and e-mails from women confirm that there is still a great need for the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge”, said Gene Detroyer, President and CEO of Allendale Pharmaceuticals. “Women who cannot tolerate hormonal contraceptives or choose not to use them are particularly pleased by the return of the Sponge.”& American women have been anticipating the re-approval of the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge in the United States following its release in Canada in 2003. There has been heavy activity on the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge hotline (888-343-4499) and on the company Web site& ([url=www.todaysponge.com] www.todaysponge.com ). The Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge is the first of several products to be marketed under the Today[suP]®[/suP] brand, a division of Allendale Pharmaceuticals.& Consumers, gynecologists, and family planning groups are hailing the return of the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge. Dr. Anne Davis, Assistant Professor of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology at Columbia University said, “As a practitioner, I can tell you that many women are looking forward to the return of the Sponge. Women need different contraceptive methods at different points in their lives. Women who have used the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge describe it as easy-to-use, convenient, and safe. It’s important to have a variety of contraceptive options available to all women.” BENEFITS of the TODAY[suP]®[/suP] SPONGE Contains no hormones Available over-the-counter, no prescription or doctor visit needed Disposable, gives women control over contraception Convenient; one size fits all No messy foams or gels needed A single Sponge can be used for 24 hours through repeated acts of intercourse Generally undetectable by either partner Instantly reversible so users can choose when they want protection and when they don’t EFFECTIVENESS Clinical studies on more than 1,800 women have shown the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge is 89-91% effective at preventing pregnancy when used as directed, an effectiveness rate similar to other female over-the-counter contraceptives. The clinical trials were conducted at 26 sites in nine countries including the United States. During typical use, women using the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge can expect birth control effectiveness that is comparable to the male condom. “Based on clinical studies conducted on women using the Today Sponge, an estimated 230,000 acts of intercourse resulted in 179 pregnancies,” said Dr. Robert Staab, Chairman and Chief Scientific Officer of Allendale Pharmaceuticals. These results reflect those who used the product perfectly as well as those who did not use the Sponge correctly or did not use the Sponge with every act of intercourse. It is important to understand the effectiveness rate is based on one year of Sponge use and does not mean that the product fails about every tenth use. During the year of perfect and imperfect use by couples in these FDA-reviewed clinical studies, one pregnancy resulted from about 1000 acts of intercourse. HOW IT WORKS Unique in its design, the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge was the first successful product to incorporate a spermicide into a barrier contraceptive. The Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge is a reservoir for one gram of Nonoxynol-9, the most widely used spermicide in the world. The advantages of the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge are that it works to prevent pregnancy in three ways: Through a patented design, it continually releases an effective amount of spermicide (125-150mg) to kill sperm. It acts as a physical barrier between sperm and the cervix. The polyurethane foam helps to trap and absorb semen. Other advantages of the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge include the fact that it contains no hormones and it allows women to take control of contraception. Once inserted, the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge is effective immediately and remains effective for 24 hours without the need for applications of messy spermicidal creams, foams or gels. A single Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge allows for as many acts of intercourse as desired within a 24-hour timeframe without the need to change protection. For maximum protection against pregnancy, the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge must be left in place for at least six hours after the last act of intercourse. It should not remain inserted for more than 30 hours. The Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases. Those at risk for STDs should use a condom in conjunction with the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge for maximum protection against STDs and pregnancy.& For more information about the Today[suP]®[/suP] Sponge, visit [url=www.todaysponge.com] www.todaysponge.com .& Consumers wishing to track availability should email Allendale at 2005-04-26 04:41:51
19 70 Thanks for posting this Brad. Do& any other brands of sponge contraceptives currently exist? Or is this the first time in 11 years that any type of sponge contraceptive is available? 2005-04-28 18:32:01
19 71 Protectaid contraceptive sponge is available online at [url] www.blueskypharmacy.com/products/sponges/116/ along with the Today Sponge. Most couples find they are only 84-87% effective and only if you can reach your cervix. Another good article is on this site. [url] www.mypleasure.com/education/contraception/contraceptive_sponge.asp Kemi 2005-04-28 19:20:23
19 84 Thanks Kemi. :) 2005-04-30 17:34:37
20 68 Where can I look for detailed information about women's hormonal imbalances? Particularly lack of Progesterone? And how this effects the sexual hormones in a young woman aged between 30 and 35? Thanks Princess 2005-04-28 16:20:47
20 81 Hi Princess, Here are some links: [url=www.rx2u.com/natural%20hormones.htm] www.rx2u.com/natural%20hormones.htm [url=www.martinavenue.com/natural_hrt/women_symptoms.html] www.martinavenue.com/natural_hrt/women_symptoms.html [url=www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com/progesterone.html] www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com/progesterone.html [url=www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C8779.html] www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C8779.html [url=www.menopause-pms-progesterone.org/progesterone/hormones.html] www.menopause-pms-progesterone.org/progesterone/hormones.html Brad & 2005-04-30 05:04:37
20 97 If the hormone imbalance is due to polycystic ovarian syndrome, then [url=www.soulcysters.com] www.soulcysters.com is a great resource. 2005-05-08 15:06:47
20 154 Hi Brad, thanks for the links - I found them useful. Still dont know what exactly is going on with my hormones. I dont really understand anything of test results I get. It is not too much testosterone or any other male hormones or thyroid problems. I am guessing at progesterone or rather the lack of but the doctor wont test for it. We are now at loggerheads. It is a simple saliva test. But the Progest Cream that would be needed to treat the lack of progesterone would need to be funded by the surgery themselves and they seem utterly determined not to discuss this. I could go private and pay for the test but it is very costly and then the price of the cream on top when I am entitled to this for free on the NHS. We talked about Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome too but he has not referred me on to any specialist or anything. He meerly said that that was what he thought it was. I had my last period in November last year have had an unusual amount of facial hair growing since last year in May. Actually last year I only had three periods the whole year. I am not on any medication of any kind either nor the pill. I had some spotting which lasted three days or so but nothing major which started on April 18th this year. The worry is killing me more than anything else. I have gone off sex completely now. I battled all that time with not being able to orgasm and then when my body finally became sensitive enough and I was really enjoying being able to this has been growing in anxiety for months now. I feel cheated. Like i have been invaded or something. I am only 34 years old. Not 35 till August. I KNOW this is not right for a young woman of my age. I wondered if it was something to do with the fact that I had two emergency c-sections within 16 months of each other the last one being only four years ago. After the first, I was paralysed for three weeks from the waist down in the year 2000. Also they nicked my bladder and urine leaked out of my scar for six months. I had nerve damage to my face too and my lower back. So needless to say that in the event of an emergency with my youngest son, I had things written into my birth plan so nothing like that would happen again. The second op went really well and was only bought about because whilst I was pushing the baby out, determined to have a normal vaginal delivery, the chord was wrapped around his throat three times which was choking him with each push. The op went really really well and I was up and about walking the same day and was able to breast feed for 16 months. I sometimes get times throughout the day at the moment where I will be really angry. Then freezing cold. Then angry. Then boiling hot to the point of my face burning. I can also feel my heart pounding at times too. I also have spots around my neck and the base of my head at the back. These are making me feel ugly. Menopause? Again my doctor has dismissed this because of my age and hormone test results being clear. I dont know what to do next. I have to lay down a lot and get so tired very very quickly. I was talking with my daughter this evening and the next thing I knew my partner was covering me up with a blanket. I had nodded off without warning AGAIN. ARRRR! I am in hell. I do get stressed and have had a lot to deal with over the last year. But I also want to enjoy my family and at the moment I might as well not be here because I keep falling asleep and when I am awake I feel moody. I dont want my Partner to worry but even he has started to ask questions now because I have changed so much. I seldom laugh or giggle anymore and spend more time with tears in my eyes using the excuse that they are stinging. If you can point me in the direction of someone who knows about this sort of thing then I would appreciate it very much. Or anything else to read up on then that too would be a big help. I have kept most of this to myself now for so long my head is exploding. A miserable Princess :-( 2005-05-25 15:54:55
20 161 Hi Princess, I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time. If you suspect PCOS perhaps try to convince your doctor to refer to you a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Even if it's not pcos, and endocrinologist may be able to provide you with more information. Do you have an herbalist in your area? There are herbs that help restore hormone balance, even if you don't know what the cause of the imbalance is. This is something I'm looking into myself, because I have hormonal imbalances due to pcos. Ocean 2005-05-28 15:08:07
20 162 HI thanks for your kind words. I am very interested in the herbal stuff you are looking into at present. Anything that balances the hormones which is natural will be a good plan. I went to see a naturopath back in November. It was interesting. The first visit cost me well in excess of one hundred pounds. I came away with a few vitamins and some herbal powder crystal remedies as well. Although I felt perked up on my new diet of suppliments alongside my normal food, I went one more time and then found the whole experience to be financially draining and have not been back again. I started to get very negative feelings from the experience as each time you go, even if talking is all you want to do, I felt manipulated into parting with money for things that i simply did not need. I even said I did not bring any money with me and still ended up coming away with stuff in pots. ( as I have not been back the guy has not been paid ) I am all for alternative therapist work especially natural herbalists if they do listen and offer advice. Not entice you into getting a financial worry on top of your already overwhelming existing problem that led you to their door in the first place. My Partner and I dont have debts and pay for things as and when they arise. Never use credit. So I felt awkward about this experience as I was encouraged to buy things instead of working out eating plans etc. Thanks again and if you want to point me in the direction of research you are doing into this then I would be grateful. Also anything that has actually been of benefit to you personally. That would be encouraging also. Princess 2005-05-30 17:28:18
20 163 Sage has been known to help balance hormones in women. We used it in herbal therapy when I was a body worker a few years ago. Kemi 2005-05-30 17:46:05
20 214 sage? I use clarysage aromatherapy essential oil but I suspect you are talking about the actual herb. Can you tell me more about this please? I just received a letter about an hour ago this morning stating that abnormalities were found in my last smear two weeks ago and re-calling me for another one on Monday. I am naturally worried and very concerned about this now. Princess 2005-06-08 06:42:03
20 215 If you want to try sage, go to a health food store that supplies "safe to eat" essential oils. Some essential oils are cut with other ingredients for aromatherapy but are not safe to ingest. You can use it as a topical application as well as oral by putting them in gel capsules. I'm not sure on the dosage, but someone may know more than I about that. 2005-06-08 14:03:28
20 217 Sage, really? Any idea how it works? That's interesting... 2005-06-10 11:41:18
20 218 Most essential oils have properties that do several things. People generally only hear about one or two. Rosemary oil for example is good for inflamation in the joints. I don't have a clue as to how they work any more than I know how other meds work. :( 2005-06-10 11:44:43
20 235 Chaste Tree (Vitex agnus-castus) berries are also often used by women to regulate their hormones. I haven't found them in stores though. I was planning to buy some online from a company that is trusted by people I know. 2005-06-13 16:18:53
20 238 Neways was recommended to me. You can buy online too. I got some wild yam cream with chaste tree in it. The pot of this cream arrived yesterday morning I am going to start using it today. 2005-06-16 01:58:10
20 370 An Update - I have been using Pro-Gest progesterone cream now for two months. My periods have returned and I am feeling a lot happier about that. I have had 2 on time. This cream really works. All I need now is to wait for the facial hair to calm down and things will be back to normal. Princess :) 2005-07-29 09:24:39
21 79 Is it safe to have sex while she is in her menstrual cycle?, what are the chances of infections?, for her and for me?. Thanks for your input Kikin & & & & 2005-04-29 19:21:38
21 80 Hello Kikin nice to see you again and thanks for joining - welcome to the group. It would be good if some of the men here could share their experiences with this member of making love whilst your partner is on her monthly cycle and menstrating. Also if any of the women here want to talk about whether they have had sex whilst on their monthly period then that would also be very helpful. Thank you Princess 2005-04-29 19:37:54
21 82 Hi, There is a lengthy article on the website that addresses this subject. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/period.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/period.htm The surveys on the website indicate 35% of women have engaged in activities that involved menstrual blood so while it isn't an unusual experience it isn't necessarily a common one. Social and personal mores about menstruation are likely a reason why, both partners may feel it is inappropriate, the woman may feel undesirable, etc. The logistics of addressing the blood flow is likely a significant barrier, though a towel is a easy solution during but clean up after could be a problem depending on the situation. Hormonal changes within a woman's body are another factor to consider, like how it affects her desire and sexual responsiveness, and this varies from woman to woman. The health concerns are that when blood is present then there is an increased risk of disease transmission between partners. The menstrual blood or blood& in general does not cause the disease. It is just that if one person has a& blood born disease they can infect their partner when they exchange body fluids that contain blood or traces of blood.& If a couple is already exchanging body fluids through unprotected sex there is an increased risk, as with anal sex, but they are already at risk. Couples need to decide how much risk they are willing to accept. Being tested for sexually transmitted diseases is a good idea, especially if you or your partner have had more than one sexual partner. Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI) are very common and many do not present symptoms but can have a major impact on a woman's reproductive health. Brad 2005-04-30 05:29:56
21 85 Brad: Thank you so much for your input. I guess I was wrong about how risky was to have sex while she is in her cycle. The more I read opinions from people with real experience, the more I learn that it may be even an exciting experience. Thanks again Kikin & & & & 2005-04-30 18:36:33
21 107 We do it every month when I am menstruating.& My boyfriend is a nurse and knows that the blood is just a little extra red blood cells, its the color that freaks everyone out.& The thing that women and men dont realize is how sensitive and swollen you are down there, it can be quite pleasurable to have sex on your period.& Just have to communicate about how sensitive you are, too much poking around in there can sometimes give me really painful cramps. ;) 2005-05-12 02:30:03
21 152 Guys: & I want to thank you for your advice!!! & I had sex with my girl friend for the first time during her period and it was great, no fears, no problems, no nothing...... & The best companions where few towels and that was it.... she was very receptive and I think we grew up a lot as a couple. & Thanks& 2005-05-25 13:54:00
21 153 Hi Kilkin I am so very pleased for you both and it is wonderful that we were able to help in some small way. Thank you also for your email it was kind of you to take the time Princess :-) 2005-05-25 15:32:58
21 165 For my partner and I it was OK, but we were both virgins when we met AND we were using condoms. Blood doesn't flow all the time when you're on your period. My mother tells me the following: Golden rule for women; while on menstrual cycle it's ok to have sex as long as it's not one of those "heavy flow days" and I'm sorry if that grosses you out. THEN, you count 15 days... during which you HAVE to use a condom. Then, you should be OK. Then again, we ALWAYS use condoms; I don't ever want to get pregnant. 2005-05-30 21:01:26
21 1094 Yes definitely,we do it with tampon in place ,i bring her to orgasm by sliding my penis over her clit. I orgasm myself by very shallow thrusting. I dont know why ,perhaps it is the for biddeness but it realy does it for both of us good luck only try this if you really know & trust your partner fully 2006-01-27 05:34:03
21 1098 New to this forum and was interested in sharing. We planned our wedding date with the significance being on the anniversary of our meeting. It clashed with her menstrual cycle - lol But that didn't stop us from celebrating on that night and the many to follow. We were also to learn that the best way to ease the cramps, which she used to have badly, was to have an orgasm. It was much more fun than medical pain relief! 2006-01-29 23:38:34
21 1103 HGi Frankie...congratulations, you are a very understanding man...the period is only a minor thing that we can go aorund and enjoy sex fully, there is nothing that "water and soap can't clean" right Frankie? Your wife is lucky to have you& kisses Luisa 2006-01-30 12:30:25
21 1112 Thanks, Luisa. But back to Kikin's original question, I am reminded that, writing in her book,"The Female Eunuch" Germaine Greer was scathing about men being unwilling to go down on a woman when she was having her period. She clearly did not believe there was a health problem through oral, so what would be the problem with genital penetration? So Kikin, don't worry. 2006-01-30 20:09:19
21 1119 Hi frankie...thanks for the message...From my point of view I don't see any problem for having sex during the period, maybe do not perform oral sex but penetration? what's the problem? if you don't want to be a little smeared use a comdon but there is part of your gf. Some of us get very sexual during the period so why don't enjoy it? We learn very early& to be very clean during the period we are almost& fastidiuos with the hygiene of our vulva and vagina.. Good luck Luisa & 2006-01-31 14:44:39
21 1726 I LOVE it when we had sex with period, it do enchance our orgasmic triggers.& Imainge entering the hot and slippery vagina on my penis, it enrages my emotion into warrior mode meaning I have to really STAY in control.& & It deepen our emotions, increase our sensitivity and nearly destroyed our orgasmic system (lol).& My wife said that when she had sex during peroid cycle, it made her organs more sensitive and easily trigger the orgasm.& She came more often than without, (lucky girls grr) and I shot further than what I normally can shoot. 2006-06-19 14:10:16
21 1736 I love it when I have sex when I'm menstruating.& My vagina just wants to be touched!& I enjoy it, and I don't really need that much prep-work in order for me to want him to get inside me.& Feels wonderful! :D 2006-06-20 01:10:29
21 2060 my last girlfriend and I had sex frequently on her period. It was great for both of us.& In fact I enjoyed it becaus it was the only time we could have sex without a condom.& I have two pieces of advice though: lay down a towel under you on the bed just in case, and its better if the guy is on top.& sometimes it got messy if she was on top.& she said it eased the cramps too.& 2006-07-25 00:27:42
21 2070 Just because a woman is menstruating, does not mean that it is always safe for you both to have sex without a condom.& There is a risk of becoming pregnant!& 2006-07-25 14:43:45
21 2074 Hi, True, but there is likely a greater risk of spreading STI's than conception during a woman's period, or soon after, if a woman has at least a 28 day cycle. That was my primary concern when I read his original post. A young woman told us in another thread that she just contracted herpes from her partner, as a result of unprotected sex. We may presume it was from unprotected intercourse but it is also very possible it happend during oral sex, cunnilingus. I only recently found out that it is extremely easy to spread herpes through oral contact even if there is no visible sores on the lips. :shock: The risk of pregnancy during her period without a condom is likely less than the risk midcycle with a condom. According to the Planned Parenthood Website 15 out of 100 women will become pregnant during a year when their partner uses only a condom. The following is from the PPFA website: "By the age of 24, one in three sexually active people will have contracted an STI (KFF, 1998b); moreover, at least one in four Americans — perhaps as many as one in two — will contract an STI at some point in their lives (AGI, 1993)." Brad 2006-07-25 21:09:53
21 2085 Man, thats bad. What would you advise for helping to prevent the contraction of herpes during oral sex? Is the only way to avoid it not doing oral at all? Sheesh, it could be so easy to get it if the other person didn't have any sores but carried the virus. Makes me wonder whether I ever want to even bother. 2006-07-26 06:42:00
21 2086 [user=1]bradf30[/user] wrote: " The following is from the PPFA website: "By the age of 24, one in three sexually active people will have contracted an STI (KFF, 1998b); moreover, at least one in four Americans — perhaps as many as one in two — will contract an STI at some point in their lives (AGI, 1993)." " ^^^ and people wonder why I am not sexually active... 2006-07-26 06:57:51
21 2088 You aren't? Apart from all of the issues with STDs, is there another reason? You know what mine is, lol.:D 2006-07-26 07:24:26
21 2090 Hi, The following Q&A has links to information on herpes and the transmission through oral sex: www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_3.htm#3 A couple young women I know have contracted the HPV virus. One I had told prior she needed to always use a condom. It makes you want to say, "I told you so." :( In college age women STIs are at an epidemic level but everyone acts like it wont happen to them. Brad 2006-07-26 09:26:41
21 2092 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Man, thats bad. What would you advise for helping to prevent the contraction of herpes during oral sex? Is the only way to avoid it not doing oral at all? Sheesh, it could be so easy to get it if the other person didn't have any sores but carried the virus. Makes me wonder whether I ever want to even bother. " A dental dam can come in handy.& And if you don't have a dental dam, a regular condom can be cut down the side to make one.& All a dental dam is is a square of latex material, usually scented and tastes less latexy.& To use one properly, you must hold the edges, slightly stretch and place over the person genitals and please them through the dental dam/condom. I learned about that in a HIV awareness demo at school. 2006-07-26 09:55:13
21 2098 Blah, we learnt nothing like that at school. Apart from the mechanics of reproduction, our sex ed was crap. No wonder we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate and STDs in the UK. The government is totally clueless as to how to tackle it because they don't really understand why young people are wanting to go out and do it in the first place. We only saw female diagrams at school& that showed three holes, nothing about the clitoris, labia, any other structure found down there. Nothing about sexuality. We knew about condoms but nothing on how to use them properly& really. I found out about the clitoris by reading "More" magazine. The same magazine I found out about vaginismus from. Fancy having to read a fashion and beauty magazine to aducate yourself about your own anatomy. Back then, I had no access to the internet so couldn't find places like this. I had two girls, both sexually active, try to fob me off at school that there are only two holes and that you pee, menstruate and give birth through the same hole. I remembered there being 3 holes from the diagrams I saw so I knew they were either wrong or just trying to have me on. Still, there are lots of other girls actually believe this. They seem to think that denying young people this type of information, they'll stop them having sex and will encourage them to have sex if they teach them these things....wrong! It just means that they start having sex anyway& totally unprepared and find their information from unreliable sources such as mates and porn. & 2006-07-26 10:42:46
21 2106 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "You aren't? Apart from all of the issues with STDs, is there another reason? You know what mine is, lol.:D " There are a lot of reasons.& Aside from STDs, my standards are probably unrealistically high, but I like what I like.& I tend to find the great majority of people I meet to be incredibly boring and vapid, and I mean that in a general sense, not just regarding women I find physically attractive.& I am also trying to establish a career or further my education (still haven't quite decided on that yet). I realized long ago that I can please myself physically just fine.& The thing that truly separates sex from masturbation is the way in which you can please another person. & That seems pretty obvious to the regular posters here, but your average joe doesn't really recognize this and tends to seek sex on a more instinctual level. As a result of that, my view of sex grew out of the typical selfish male position. When I balanced the risks of seeking sex for the sake of sex itself (STDs, pregnancy, and all the stupid stressful social conventions that people obsess over) I decided not to pursue casual sex. That's not saying I am sworn to celibacy or anything.& The best sex, in my eyes, is the selfless and reciprocal kind, and that's the only kind of sex I care about (like the Beatles said, the love you take is equal to the love you make).& You take pleasure in pleasing the other person, and you trust that person to take as much interest in you as you take in them.& But as I said, my standards are really stringent.& I can't stand any kind of drug use, and that includes drinking and smoking.& I'm also extremely repulsed by ignorance and the sheepishly religious (though intelligent and self-sought spirituality is a completely different story).& Sadly, in the US that really cuts out a massive portion of the people my age (or any age), particularly in the more agricultural region I live in.& If a person isn't fiercely intellgent and creative, I will get bored of them very quickly, and that applies especially to someone I might consider for a romantic relationship.& And naturally I have to be physically attracted to them as well, but I am not hung up on one ideal image of physical beauty.& As a result, I pretty much have no place to go socially, and so I don't even both pursuing sex or romance at this point in my life.& & 2006-07-26 18:37:47
21 2107 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Blah, we learnt nothing like that at school. Apart from the mechanics of reproduction, our sex ed was crap. No wonder we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate and STDs in the UK. The government is totally clueless as to how to tackle it because they don't really understand why young people are wanting to go out and do it in the first place. We only saw female diagrams at school& that showed three holes, nothing about the clitoris, labia, any other structure found down there. Nothing about sexuality. We knew about condoms but nothing on how to use them properly& really. I found out about the clitoris by reading "More" magazine. The same magazine I found out about vaginismus from. Fancy having to read a fashion and beauty magazine to aducate yourself about your own anatomy. Back then, I had no access to the internet so couldn't find places like this. I had two girls, both sexually active, try to fob me off at school that there are only two holes and that you pee, menstruate and give birth through the same hole. I remembered there being 3 holes from the diagrams I saw so I knew they were either wrong or just trying to have me on. Still, there are lots of other girls actually believe this. They seem to think that denying young people this type of information, they'll stop them having sex and will encourage them to have sex if they teach them these things....wrong! It just means that they start having sex anyway& totally unprepared and find their information from unreliable sources such as mates and porn. & " Yeah, public sex education here in the states is generally pretty lousy as well, especially in states like Texas that teach abstinence only. I had sex ed in 5th, 6th, 8th, and 9th grade, and it was all terribly generic and repetitive.& I was able to read between the lines, and I think a lot of it was somewhat intuitive for me as well.& It wasn't until my college level human sexuality class (non-required obviously) that I actually studied important and interesting aspects of human sexuality. 2006-07-26 18:41:04
21 2135 I'm from Pennsylvania, and I could say that I learned a lot in my sex ed classes.& I learned about sex first in 5th grade, then 7th, 8th, 9th, 11th, and then in 12th.& We even watched that Miracle of Life video that shows a live birth, which absolutely grossed all of us youngsters out and wondering how a thing so big can come out of a hole so small. I think the highest amount of people I saw pregnant in my HS at one time was during my sophomore year and there were 3 pregnancies.& From my graduating class, only 1.& My school highly informed us of the outcome and also told us that the nurse gave condoms out if we need a form of protection. 2006-07-27 14:55:57
21 4724 If you love a woman and have a good sex relantionship with her, there's no reason to avoid sexual intercourse during her period. In my case, I have never disliked to do it, but some of my girlfriends have rejected it, I think because they don't feel "clean" enough themselves. To be inside the woman you love it's really great, and you must enjoy it as many times as possible. 2007-08-16 10:03:22
23 86 & Please share your favorite methods of foreplay, female favorite, male favorite. & & & 2005-05-04 10:41:05
23 87 One of my favourites has to be talking. Winding each other up with suggestive speach is very much a turn on for me. Of course there are all the physical things but they are much more enjoyable after teasing with speech and looking at each other with 'those' eyes. Princess 2005-05-04 14:02:31
23 92 Thank you Princess, I too enjoy the talking, a real turn on.& I also enjoy having my left shoulder kissed and his face snuggling it, very sensitive there.& My breasts are next, like a long time spent there. 2005-05-06 08:31:49
23 104 We like laying in bed reading erotica to each other... well, I read to her anyway! :shock: 2005-05-10 12:49:08
23 116 favorite foreplay methods, hmm......I would have to say we have taken foreplay to a whole new level.& I usually put something dirty on (movie wise) for us to watch or just have on in the backround, sometimes I like to put a little outfit on (either lingerie or little skirt no undies), my all time favorite way to get going would be laying on top of him w/ my rear in his face and my face in his genital area.& we pleasure eachother that way for a bit, then I will move on to just kissing and licking him all over, he does the same to me.& I love kissing on the lips, very sensual, then we have sex.:) 2005-05-13 13:38:19
23 310 Hmmm Foreplay so many different avenue's.... Talking is a really big thing for me too... Then touching, kissing, soft fondling.... I am shy so this makes me feel more comfortable.... Foreplay may also include oral sex after slow long drawn out undressing... What can also be fun is public teasing, really good foreplay.... I am sure I can think of more late.... will add if I do 2005-07-08 13:36:36
23 311 I had no girlfriend for a long time till january and even now we can only share our weekends because we don't live together yet and our jobs at week are completely overlapping each others spare time. I really enjoy hugging and stroking each other, holding and kissing each other, simply feeling her body on mine while watching tv, listening to music or just the rain and wind outside while slowly taking off each others clothes. This takes long and we really enjoy it. Maybe you more experienced lough at it but that's our foreplay. Good Night, Andy P.S. You english people say that the german language sounds 'hard' and 'teutonic'. Read 'huggg' and 'strrroke' and then discover the nice and warm german word 'schmusen' ;) 2005-07-08 17:49:25
23 360 Our favorite foreplay is to both shower, lay in bed and start with your favorite cream.& Rubbing the cream on her legs and on myself is the greatest experience and feeling you will ever have.& The cream and all the rubbing makes her swell to the best level you can know.& This can last for an hour. She loves to look at my penis all shining and large.& Soon when the the time right she will hang on and allow me to take her to the top.& Sometime I do not enter her.& Those are the time when we both have felt the BIG one happen.& You all need to try this.& It is a mind blower.:shock: 2005-07-24 02:26:45
26 93 Hello, I fall into the category of women who are very sexual, but yet never had an orgasm dring sex.& & I researched the web& learning how important a long time spent on foreplay is to a woman.& & Started doing the kegal& exercises and also found my old Callanetics exercise book that seems to jumpstart the pelvic exercises. & I can now have an orgasm easily, actually can have several during lovemaking or just ride the wave.& The exercises are the best thing that has ever happened to my sexlife. Sadie 2005-05-08 06:11:33
26 219 Could you share them?, I'd like to know more about foreplay and how to improve orgasm and make it last more 2005-06-10 22:50:31
26 221 Hi Lucy, The foreplay can be found on many sites, the mens sites are also very good, search penis, clitoris, orgasm. The Kegal exercises can also be found with a search. The callanetic exercises you actually need the book for the pictures, I found one on amazon.com. Title is Callanetics by Callan Pinkney, subtitle 10 Years Younger in 10 Hours. I found all the exercises very good, the pelvic and stomach exercises make a huge difference in your sexlife. The book is out of print but seems to be available used on Amazon. If you can't find it, please give me your email and I will scan the pages and email them to you. 2005-06-11 04:07:48
26 222 Hi, hope this link from Cosmopolitan works, gives some how to, fingers also work well. magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/print/0,14230,285757,00.html 2005-06-11 05:46:15
26 223 Hi Lucy, another site you may find interesting. Best advice I can give is to develope the pelvic floor muscles and it all just suddenly seems to happen. You get turned on and are stretching and undulating and even if not turned on can be by flexing your muscles with the kegal exercise. www.sexinhumanloving.com/tantric-sex.html 2005-06-11 06:01:00
26 226 Hi, I believe any activity that increases body awareness is helpful to women. Learning exercises that requires you to be aware of your pelvic region is beneficial. It appears, in general, women are frequently not& aware of their physical arousal nor its level, as indicated by studies in which they are shown erotic videos while their level of arousal was monitored.& I have to wonder if part of this is the result of dissociation from their genitals, learning to ignore them or having been prevented from exploring them; but the vast majority of today's women have engaged in masturbation. While the surveys on this website show women are aware of when they are aroused, indicated by physical changes in their body, their mind may not always make them aware of these changes. Their "perception of arousal" appears to& depend on& context, whether they believe they should be aroused and if it is appropriate given social and peer expectations. If you are not supposed to be motivated by purely sexual & motivates will you be? The survey on sexual desire indicated over 50% of women believe their level of desire is greater than that of their peers and one has to wonder if that influences their motives to engage in sex in a negative way. In most places in the world an openly sexual woman is not socially acceptable and can lead to social rejection. Brad 2005-06-11 09:03:01
26 228 I believe women are becoming more educated about sex and their body. I am considered an old woman, my husband considers me the sexiest woman on earth and loves it. We can lay for hours having sexual foreplay, I can ride the waves due to strong pelvic muscles and he loves it. He can lay his hand on me or fingers in me and feel the contractions. He has told me many times how much he appreciates me doing the exercise every day and how much it has added to our sex life. I have a strong conviction that almost all females are capable of orgasm with strong pelvic muscles and an educated lover. It is easy to receive a sex education online, steer your mate to the one you feel your body wants him to learn and enjoy. 2005-06-11 09:40:37
26 236 I checked Amazon Books to day, they have the used Callanetic books starting at 46 cents. My scanner is not giving good results, in fact unreadable results. 2005-06-13 18:52:46
28 113 Beginning June 6, 2005, Whole Lesbian Sex Book author Felice Newman will bring her brand of explicit, upbeat lesbian sex information to lesbian readers in a biweekly column to appear in newspapers, magazines and online publications. The column will be distributed by Q Syndicate. Witty, accessible, and enthusiastically nonjudgmental, "Whole Lesbian Sex," written by Felice Newman, is a column for all women who desire women - lesbian, bisexual, butch, femme, androgynous, transgendered, young and old, sexually experienced and new to sex with women. Like Felice's comprehensive, best-selling sex guide, The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us, the column offers readers "information, suggestions, tips and techniques, and support for discovering a sexuality that works for you." What a terrific way to inform and support lesbian, bisexual and queer women - with a sexy, savvy column by the woman who "has her latex-covered finger on the clit of Lesbian Nation" (San Francisco Bay Guardian), and whose work has been hailed as "infectious and empowering" (Bust). Library Journal has praised Felice for setting "the standard for which all popular sex writers should aim." As publisher of Cleis Press since 1980, Felice Newman has developed and edited books on sexuality and gender by many authors you're no doubt familiar with - Susie Bright, Joan Nestle, Tristan Taormino, Patrick Califia, Carol Queen, Annie Sprinkle, and many others. She has studied sexuality through San Francisco Sex Information and Body Electric, and somatics through the Strozzi Institute, and she now coaches individuals and couples in the San Francisco Bay area. "Whole Lesbian Sex" is a biweekly, 600-word column. The debut installment of "Whole Lesbian Sex" is the deliciously titled "What Do Butches Want?" The first installment will appear in LGBTQ publications beginning June 6th. Readers will be able to contact Felice at [url=] Diane Levinson, Marketing Director, Cleis Press (415) 575-4700 [url=www.cleispress.com] www.cleispress.com Felice Newman, Publisher, Cleis Press (415) 575-4700 [url=www.cleispress.com] www.cleispress.com Paula Martinac, Editor in Chief, Q Syndicate (412) 760-6809 [url=www.qsyndicate.com] www.qsyndicate.com The Whole Lesbian Sex Book A Passionate Guide for All of Us 2nd edition, revised and expanded by Felice Newman Cleis Press, December 2004 $24.95, ISBN 1573441996 Trade paper, 400pp, 7 x 10 Illustrations, bibliography, resource guide, index Cleis Press 2005-05-13 10:28:44
29 118 About a month ago, I noticed a small bump forming on my cervix. Since then, I've begun taking Ortho Tri-Cyclin Lo and noticed the formation of several more bumps. I was wondering if possibly the excess hormones in the birth control could progress the growth of these "bumps." They possibly may be genital warts, although it has been over& seven months since my last sexual encounter, six when I first found the bump. 2005-05-14 10:16:00
29 119 Hi, I am not a doctor so all I can do is provide links to information on medical websites. Bumps On The Cervix - DrDonnica.com - The First Name in Women's Health [url=www.drdonnica.com/display.asp?article=6300] www.drdonnica.com/display.asp?article=6300 The following page mentions bumps on cervix as a possible indication of gonorrhea or Human Papilloma Virus. [url=www.umich.edu/~handbook/gynhealth/eight.html] www.umich.edu/~handbook/gynhealth/eight.html & Brad 2005-05-14 23:46:22
29 172 Hmmm, the doses of hormone in the pill are now very low, so I don't think that's likely. It sounds like you have Human Pappiloma Virus (the cause of warts), but then I'm not a doctor, yet. :P I'd definitely go see a doctor about it. Oh, and warts can take months to show, so that explains that bit. 2005-05-31 21:41:40
29 174 Thanks for the reply. Since I last posted, I have gotten tested for HIV, HPV, and several other sexually transmitted diseases. Though, all came back negative. The cause of the bumps are believed to be genetic, as another family member of mine received similar symptoms. 2005-06-03 23:30:46
29 180 Hi Dance, Thanks for the update. Happy to hear everything appears to be okay. Brad 2005-06-04 21:40:40
31 122 & I thoroughly enjoy the foreplay when it starts with the kissing, hugging, caressing to the point where I feel thoroughly loved and cherished.& I need to feel that to have sexual longing.& I have also read that men enjoy the sex more when they have that relationship.& I would like to hear from others if this is what makes their sex better. 2005-05-17 07:00:50
31 123 I agree with you 100% Sadie.:P Sex is so empty without the feeling of love that can go with it. Foreplay is the best part of sex. 2005-05-17 11:11:52
31 128 i feel that sex sint just about "doing it"& and i agree with Kemi that it feels so empty, like somthing is missing there, some boys think that i was wrong or somthing that i wnted to wait for the right girl rathert& than getting totally 'drunk as a skunk' and going for it, maybe it is bevuase you feel that you can only share your body with some-one you trust a bit more, and dosnt go telling everyone of you were "good or crap" lol! 2005-05-17 14:00:13
31 773 My boyfriend said to me when we started going out that sex was important to him, but his most favourite part of it all was the foreplay - because he believes a lot more pleasure comes from it. He is very driven by his emotions - I'm confident that every girl he's been with he's felt quite strongly for them - so I believe he feels having the loving attachment is the best thing. I agree with that. I feel it's completely against my personality to go around just shagging people just for a laugh or something - I would feel terriable doing that myself, but people do it - I've& never understood completely why they do that though but I'm sure they have their reasons... everyone does. 2005-11-06 22:13:36
31 783 I'm actually just starting a relationship.& So far I'm quite happy with it.& Me and I boyfriend have agreed that we have plenty of time to experiment& sexually& during our relationship instead of all at once, and that we're both in no rush to do things.& I really enjoy kissing, hugging, and cuddling with him.& Eventually we'll do more things when we're both ready and feel it's time. First things first, I'm a virgin, but I don't plan on keeping my virginity until I get married.& But I want to at least lose it to someone I love and deserves it.& 2005-11-07 20:50:18
31 785 Congratulations Ladybug...you are in the right track.. you found a jewel of boyfriend if he is willing to wait unitl oyu are ready...don't lose him... Keep your virginity unntil you think you are ready, it will be awsome, a fantastic feeling ;wish you the best in life Kisses Luisa 2005-11-07 21:00:05
31 786 I agree with Kemi. People seem to have wrong thoughts about men, that we only enjoy the intercourse. I find the foreplay to be the best part, and without it, the sex feels shallow and worthless. More pleasure comes from the foreplay anyway, but I guess that is personal opinion :) Oh well, my thoughts at least. 2005-11-07 22:58:38
31 787 :) yes, the same could be said about women too though. That we prefer the long drawn out foreplay first then penetration. Sometimes a quick one with just penetration is excellent! and if spontanious, does wonders once in a while too :) Princess 2005-11-08 14:28:47
31 791 [user=19]luisa1[/user] wrote: "Congratulations Ladybug...you are in the right track.. you found a jewel of boyfriend if he is willing to wait unitl oyu are ready...don't lose him... Keep your virginity unntil you think you are ready, it will be awsome, a fantastic feeling ;wish you the best in life Kisses Luisa " Thanks Luisa. :)& My older sister tells me to keep it as long as possible.& I think that keeping it for 19 years is pretty good.& Not many are virgins my age.& I see nothing wrong with people losing it at a little bit of a younger age, I guess it was just their time.& I feel if my relationship does continue to go really well, that he'll be the one to take it.& 2005-11-09 21:29:21
31 821 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "I'm actually just starting a relationship.& So far I'm quite happy with it.& Me and I boyfriend have agreed that we have plenty of time to experiment& sexually& during our relationship instead of all at once, and that we're both in no rush to do things.& I really enjoy kissing, hugging, and cuddling with him.& Eventually we'll do more things when we're both ready and feel it's time. First things first, I'm a virgin, but I don't plan on keeping my virginity until I get married.& But I want to at least lose it to someone I love and deserves it.& " I hear you - I'm a virgin too and no amount of pressure is going to make me give it up. My boyfriend is aware of this and I think that's why he told me of his strong feelings for sex - he isn't a virgin anymore of course. 2005-11-16 06:50:53
31 931 This is my sexual philosophy in a nutshell: There are a few levels of sexual arrousal. The first and most basic is physical arrousal caused by any kind of contact, solo or otherwise. The next level is "vicarious" arrousal, or being arroused at the arrousal of your partner (or someone you are simply looking at if you're into porn or are a peeping tom). Above that is altruistic arousal, or being arroused because you are the one causing your partner's arrousal. The top is reciprocal arrousal in which both partners are simultaneously getting each other off, getting off on each other, and getting off on getting each other off. As a result of that, I've come to think that an orgasm is just an orgasm, and it doesn't matter if it's caused by another person or by your own hand. The only reason to have sex, then, is to get the OTHER person off, which will get you off on a higher level than just concerning yourself with the physical sensation alone. The only person I want to have sex with, then, is someone I care enough about to want to please sexually and who will want to do the same to me. That's a long-winded way of saying that emotional intimacy is important to men as well :D 2005-12-30 09:09:52
32 124 I had my first experience with receiving a b.j. when I was a teenager. I loved it but it took a long time to reach orgasm. As I had more experience I found that most of the women I met didn't really enjoy doing it. They would run and spit and gag right after my orgasm. Some would swallow but still I felt that they didn't enjoy what they felt they had to do for me... and I never asked for it. As time passed I avoided getting a b.j. I felt guilty letting a woman do that for me. As a result, I cannot orgasm during oral sex anymore. I know this stems from the fear that my partner isn't enjoying doing this. Any comments would be helpful. Kemi :? 2005-05-17 11:22:09
32 125 I thoroughly enjoy giving my mate oral sex, I love the feeling of closeness, the joy it brings to him, I feel I am making love in the most intimate way possible, I do swallow,& I don't deepthroat, perhaps someday.& I also love receiving oral sex, he gives me the feeling that I have the most beautiful vulva in the world and that he loves it.& I try to make love to him in a way that will give him the same feeling and from his reaction, I believe I do. I would suggest having your& friend read about oral sex on the internet, there are numerous sites with a& lot of information.& Also you could discuss with her what you are looking for in a woman that you would like a woman& who loves to give oral sex. & 2005-05-17 12:39:05
32 133 I almost feel the exact same way as sadie.& I always had a oral fixation.& But w/ my ex's I never wanted to swallow, grossed me out.& But when I met my fiance, something was different about him and the way he smelt and the way it tasted.& I would get so turned on by making him turned on.& The harder he got the more I got into it and its still like that 3 years later.& we both seem to get off on getting the other one off.& sometimes its almost comical how we are both trying so hard to make the other one cum that we forget about ourselves.& But its a very giving and intimate thing, and I do take pride in making him cum through oral sex.& I think for someone to truly give a great b.j. they have to be a giving person, completely concentrate on their needs for the moment.& I even will put on a porno in the backround just as a little "sweet" incentive to keep the mood right.& 2 kids, we dont always have the privacy we need.& lol 2005-05-18 02:17:57
32 159 Hey guys! I'm a lesbian and I really love to give blow jobs to my girlfriend. I like the smell, the taste, the feeling, her reactions. I also like to receive it, it's a very special form of orgasm.. Have a nice lick ;-) SariS 2005-05-26 15:55:12
32 169 Wow, I realize there's a whole lot of people having oral sex, but for me, giving it to my partner and the idea that I have to swallow all that sperm is gross. I don't know why. I do NOT oppose other people doing it. Not at ALL. It's just... I don't know. I feel guilty because I've always wanted one done on me, for my partner to "eat me" BUT I feel like I should do the same to him. No, I'm not religious if you're wondering. 2005-05-30 21:18:02
32 171 Well, remember that having oral sex doesn't mean he has to ejaculate in your mouth. You could always give it a try for a little while, and see how it goes? And you shouldn't feel guilty; maybe he'll enjoy going down on you? As for me, I do enjoy giving my partner head. I mean, I'm neutral on the actual act itself but I love getting reactions out of him,and watching him have fun. 2005-05-31 21:36:10
32 188 I enjoy giving blow jobs. There's just something so dirty about it but not in a bad way. Knowing I'm pleasuring my man gives me a lot of satisfaction. I haven't mastered the art of swallowing unfortunately and usually end up choking so I prefer to stop before things get that far. & 2005-06-05 14:52:13
32 193 I really enjoy oral sex, particularly because men are so grateful when you do a good "job". As Jack Nicholson used to say: "A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets a blowjob, no matter how bad it is." & & 2005-06-05 17:03:10
32 251 I love oral sex, blow jobs with women, but I've been very turned off about given them to men except the guy I'm with now, and I can hardly wait to get my lips around him for some reason. I'm new here but this topic is one I'm interested in because I love to give other women blow jobs which is a poor name for something that beautiful, and the only man I can even stand to think about giving one to is the guy I'm seeing now. Before, I was totally uninterested. Weird, huh? 2005-06-29 19:49:02
32 260 I've had a small experience of giving head. My ex-bf said he was enjoying it, it's just that he was extra sensitive, so I stopped. Maybe he was afraid of letting go? hmm.. I wouldn't also mind trying women. 2005-07-02 18:24:50
32 301 Hey gobsmacked, that was Barbara Bush that said that, Not Jack Nicholson..... 2005-07-06 13:41:01
32 317 Okay... I feel weird posting this but... I am sort of dating this guy, things are pretty new and I am shy about the whole BJ thing... I want to so bad but I get there and back off, I go back and back off, he's paitent and dosen't mind the teasing and I told him im shy about it and he seems to understand, I have done this before but has always been like this.... How do I get over it and just go for it.... I want to so bad make him feel good in that way.... he has me...... Princess 2005-07-10 17:19:02
32 319 Hi it is going to get confusing around here if you sign your posts as Princess. Please can you put something else after the Princess as I dont want people confusing us. I realise you may find this request a little cheeky but I am one of the two moderators here and have been part of the group for a long time already. So if you wouldnt mind. Princess 2005-07-10 17:53:01
32 320 the same thing happens to me... im also very shy, about my body and about everything... and i can´t do it... and now i feel like i owe him something... and he understands... i don´t know what to do either... :? & 2005-07-10 19:29:08
32 323 I have been able to do it before just takes me alot of time to get up the courage..... Someone help how do we get past this.... Why is it such a fear it's not like it's a huge deal.... Anyone who's got past this and have suggestions.... The Canadian Princess.... P.S. Princess sorry if I made that confussing I thought of that after I signed it.... OPPS... I'll sign them different form now on.... Your not from canada so this should do it.... 2005-07-10 21:09:22
32 324 I had the same fear as most women do.& If you gag easily you need to let your mate know that.& Also, if you aren't comfortable with him cumming in your mouth, ask him if he wants to come on your chest or maybe lower part of your face.& That is a huge turn on for my fiance as well as me swallowing.& I haven't always been able to do this.& I was actually one of those girls that let a guy cum in my mouth and then ran to the bathroom to quickly spit it out.& he was a boyfriend at the time and told me it was a huge turn off that I did that.& my fiance is the first man i have ever wanted to swallow with.& He knows that he can't shove it down my throat when he is about to cum otherwise the chance of me puking increases, mood killer!& lol. aahhh, the things we do for the ones we love.& a little wine (or a lot of wine) always helped me relax to do those crazy things i thought i would never try, and now look at me.& w/ the exception of another person in the bedroom, we have tried just about everything.& I never knew before my present guy that my bedroom could feel like such an amusement park every night. good luck!;) 2005-07-10 23:56:11
32 332 thanks, He knows that he can't cum in my mouth becuase I explained to him it makes me gag.... Which yes mood killer big time... but im still very shy... I guess I just have to take a deep breath and go for it but he keeps telling me to take my time.... The Canadian Princess & & 2005-07-12 03:02:08
32 336 For the ladies that don't like or want to give a bj, try a handjob! With lot's of lube and VERY slow strokes, it will produce the same effect....your man will melt. 2005-07-13 18:29:57
32 337 [user=123]princess241981[/user] wrote: "IThe Canadian Princess.... P.S. Princess sorry if I made that confussing I thought of that after I signed it.... OPPS... I'll sign them different form now on.... Your not from canada so this should do it.... " yes, that will work thanks :) Princess 2005-07-13 19:56:39
32 356 Well, as a bloke whos had a fair bit of head in my life, ill share that i have never ejaculated during oral sex.& Just one of those things, i love it, feels great and the domination thing is there, but only& for a bit, then i just get over it i suppose.& Prefer to be giving head, fingering or fucking my girl and watching her.& Sex is& pretty much& about what i can do& for my partner& to me& I& guess. of course this is more true when i really like the girl;) 2005-07-22 06:03:45
32 481 I think giving a b.j. is "nasty". I mean i did it before only to please the guy but, i am& really turned off by sucking a guys penis.& My husband understands "thank god".& However i really think that he wishes i did like it. I know it may sound hipocritical but i like for someone to "eat me" or whatever. It feels so amazing. My husband doesn't mind pleasing me, i just please him a different way. 2005-09-01 22:07:22
32 616 Do women find it arousing in any way when a man ejaculates on their face? It looks quite demeaning to me... 2005-10-02 09:06:15
32 664 I LOVE giving my& partner oral sex. I am female, he is male and we live together. I haven't always loved doing it, with previous boyfriends I just kind of went through it, didn't really know how to do it but I guess they still enjoyed it. But once I taught myself how to deep throat it got really exciting. Now it really turns me on and sometimes I have to beg my partner to let me do it to him, he's usually begging to give me oral sex as& well! But I prefer to concerntrate on him and do it properly than to do 69 because a)I'm short, he's tall and we don't fit properly. And& b) I get too side tracked to do& it any good& when he's giving me head as well. And c) when we do it 69 it's the wrong angle to be able to deep throat so I just end up licking and kissing the head. I DON'T swallow, I had a pretty awful experience& when I was quite young and still exploring my& own sexuality,& so I haven't really ever done it again. But it doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it. I usually get my partner to such a point that he wants to orgasm and then let my hands take over, or I just use oral as a warm up and then jump on and go for a ride and let my cunny take his orgasm, which he loves. It doesn't seem to bother him that I don't swallow, I think he's just happy to be having a fulfilling sex life. Just enjoy it, cumming in someone's mouth isn't the entirety of your sexuality, it's just one aspect. 2005-10-09 21:55:47
32 689 i havent been in any sexual relationships so far though but the thought o givin a girl a blow job really gets me high i really wanna do it but then none o da girls i know would like me to do it wit them n its kinda weird to ask also without bein in a relationship 2005-10-18 05:51:29
32 730 Oral sex, eh? What a grand topic. As a man I must say that I enjoy it a lot. A whole lot. And while I'm stilling stunned at the fact that I joined a forum which seems mainly geared to females, I'll go out on a limb here and say one thing: ladies - there is no substitute for the feeling of oral sex. & I love intercourse, sure. But that is, as far as I can tell, mainly a psychological euphoria. I do not get very much physical pleasure out of a vagina. Is that normal for a man? I don't know. It might be an interesting topic over in the men's issues forum, but I'll take it as a given for my argument here. & The girls who don't like giving oral sex are at a serious disadvantage. It's already been pointed out (in more words, mind you) that even a bad blowjob is pretty good. And it's true (unless of course you've got some rather precarious canines and narcolepsy!). I don't mean to insult (heck, I've been here for 20 minutes, what a way to introduce myself), but a man will always appreciate oral sex over vaginal intercourse. And you ladies are no different. A few of you have pointed out that while you dislike "giving", you're more than happy to "get". That's a pretty harsh double standard in a relationship, and believe me, no matter what your mate tells you, he resents it. & My advice is this - sacrifice your personal comfort for someone you love, even if it's only on special occasions. And here's the kicker - pretend you enjoy it. There's nothign worse than feeling "well, she's doing it, but she sure isn't liking it". You can tell him not to come in your mouth (he'll probably agree and do it anyway), and you can stipulate the "spit" rule, or even finish off with your hands. Girls, men enjoy being the centre of attention just as much as you do. & In sum, he wants to come. In the end, if you don't make a couple "comfort sacrifices" here and there, he's going to resent it in the end. Whether he admits it or not. & Six. & P.S. I've only met one man in my entire life (as short as twenty one years may be) who openly admits to not enjoying oral sex. I've met a lot of men. :P 2005-10-29 00:28:10
32 747 Afternoon all, It maybe somewhat arrogant to assume that all men rate oral sex over vaginal sex Six, being a male myself. Anyway's, I believe the enjoyment of sex as a whole& is& completely dependent on a whole range of issues. Issues& that can make the giving of pleasure out weigh& mental barriers& to sucking your boyfriend's cock& or giving head to your girlfriend. I mean if it's a one night stand and you don't "like" having a penis in your mouth then I& don't think& one should feel& obliged. For me alot of my pleasure and satisfaction with sex is derived from the other persons enjoyment of it. I can& assure that if you love the person you're with then that feeling is just about the best one can get and it will (guaranteed) make you think differently about a lot of things.& I think this goes back to being a selfless lover, if you know your partner goes weak at the knees or& their eyes roll back in their& head or they start speaking in tongues when you do something to them& then to stop doing that is denying them that pleasure. And vice versa if your partner is& performing something you know they don't enjoy then& it would be difficult to& enjoy it, for me at least ("normally" ;), I hear the cracking of whips by leather clad mistresses in the background). Personally, as far as actual blow job's go I love it when I'm soft and I get hard while my girlfriend is sucking me especially if I don't expect it.& I love the& sensation and the visuals of oral& but I don't cum easily from it and realise that& my girlfriend's jaw is& going to get sore. I don't think it's& all about how deep it can go, the end bits& pretty sensitive, in fact the whole body is if you know what your doing. And to clarify from personal experience, orgasm when somebody& is sucking is one of the most intense, stand alone& sensations a man will feel....EVER. The again, to be fair to six, I think guys have lifted their game in this department. Maybe we could have a global competition on which sex& gives better oral. The judges would have an interesting life don't you think? Cas P.S. Love this website. Entralled by the feminine. P.P.S. I wonder if there are any& gay men& who don't like performing fellatio? 2005-10-31 20:35:54
32 751 [user=134]froggi3[/user] wrote: "For the ladies that don't like or want to give a bj, try a handjob! With lot's of lube and VERY slow strokes, it will produce the same effect....your man will melt." I must say, I do enjoy giving my man a b.j. but I really don't enjoy him coming in my mouth (it's awfully salty to take or something - I've swallowed everytime, but I really don't enjoy it)... so most of the time, I give him some oral and then finish off with a handjob... he seems to love it either way thankfully& :3 I get very happy when I know I'm making him happy that's for sure! 2005-11-04 05:47:36
32 752 Hi lost..I agree sometimes is awful salty and thick but you may try a trick that worked for me; feed your mate with vainilla ice cream for 4 or 5 days and then try , is an old trick maybe it works for you, worked for me lol If it works plese let me know my email is in my profile& good luck kisses Luisa 2005-11-04 15:56:31
32 757 Hi the saltiness does tend to come from diet and hormones. Water and lots of it is the answer. I have suggested several times over the years that my partner drink at least eight pints of water a day. I often will just offer him a pint glass full of cold water when he is watching a film or something at night before we are due to go to bed. It does make all the difference. Eight pints sounds a bit ambitious but take into account that drinking water instead of lots of cups of coffee or tea during the day is more healthy anyway, you may be able to make subtle changes and build up to it slowly. It has worked for us. No more shockingly salty taste. :) Princess 2005-11-05 19:57:35
32 770 Dunno how I've done it - but I've double posted >_>; 2005-11-06 21:43:02
32 771 Thanks for the comments& you two& ^^ I know diet can be an issue with it's taste (was enlightened about that after a friend asked me for suggestions to how her boyfriend could change his diet but I explained I had no idea - that was way before I'd done my first b.j. myself so I never looked further into it), I was thinking about& posting a thread about it out of curiousity& - but I'll try your suggestions (if he's willing that is :P - if not, that's his choice eh? - I mean, he seems to enjoy whatever I do... so it's up to him). Thankyou. Just a side note: Someone sent me a PM about him not enjoying oral& mentally also (has anyone else had this PM?) - and it being worse to do it badly than not at all. The only reply I have to them is - I have the complete confidence in him that he would tell me if I was doing it wrong STRAIGHT AWAY. I've had a lot of praise from him about it (despite me& being very very new to it all& considering& he is& my first& lol)& so why would he do that if he wasn't enjoying it? So, if it's okay, I choose to openly decline your offer. :) I'm not sure where you got the impression I needed help in that area anyway oO; because that's not what I posted about in this thread... 2005-11-06 21:43:03
32 775 Hello if you are having a problem with PM's ( Private Messages ) then by all means forward them on to either myself or Brad. We run a pretty tight ship here and will not tolerate an abuse of site's features. I realise that you havent said it was a bad PM but an alarm bell struck when you asked if anyone else had had one. Brad and I are here if you need us. Princess 2005-11-07 07:16:18
32 820 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "Hello if you are having a problem with PM's ( Private Messages ) then by all means forward them on to either myself or Brad. We run a pretty tight ship here and will not tolerate an abuse of site's features. I realise that you havent said it was a bad PM but an alarm bell struck when you asked if anyone else had had one. Brad and I are here if you need us. Princess" Okay, don't worry if I get any like that I'll definately pass it on to you or Brad. Thankyou for your concern. :) 2005-11-16 06:47:13
32 851 I would NEVER come in a woman's face, even if she asked me to. I think it definitely IS demeaning. Even in porno, the women almost always squint or grimace or gasp or otherwise react very negatively. Besides -- what's so great about coming in her face when you can come inside her vagina where it feels a hundred times better? 2005-11-28 10:15:47
32 877 what do i do if my husband won't give me oral sex. I really want it, but he says he doesn't like it!!! Do some men dislike it? Of Course he loves me giving it to him!!!! any advice especially from the men joanne75 2005-12-08 18:54:32
32 880 Hi, What exactly doesn't he like about it? Your taste or scent? Is he being lazy? Sometimes, guys simply get away with what their partner allows them to. Perhaps he needs to know it is important to you, even if you cannot experience orgasm. Brad 2005-12-09 11:15:58
32 960 I'm a guy and like the original poster-i find it difficult to orgasm while my g/f is giving me a "bj", when she started giving me one by surprise i brought her head up and told her she didnt have to do it because most guys expect it, but she says she doesnt mind the taste and loves the way i enjoy it, i still feel guilty sometimes, but as long as she isnt doing it because she's expected to then everythings good,. 2006-01-05 20:16:21
32 961 joanne dont give him oral if he wont give it back! sex is all about giving! if both give then both recieve! if only one gives then only one recieves! to have great sex you need a partner that wants nothing more than to please you, and you to please him, that way you both get great orgasms, and i feel it builds intimacy and love 2006-01-05 20:17:42
32 966 [user=339]JonasFlagstaff[/user] wrote: "I would NEVER come in a woman's face, even if she asked me to. I think it definitely IS demeaning. Even in porno, the women almost always squint or grimace or gasp or otherwise react very negatively. Besides -- what's so great about coming in her face when you can come inside her vagina where it feels a hundred times better?" the squinting is simply a reflex action when something comes flying at your face. I think the facial is only demeaning if the woman doesn't enjoy it, though. the point of the facial, I think, is the submissive nature of it. submission is a big turn on that a lot of women have but don't really talk about. a woman I knew a few years ago said that, in the right relationship, she would orgasm when her man came in her mouth or on her chest during a BJ. I know that's not technically the same as a facial, but the principle is the same. 2006-01-05 23:29:45
32 969 [user=353]joanne75[/user] wrote: "what do i do if my husband won't give me oral sex. I really want it, but he says he doesn't like it!!! Do some men dislike it? Of Course he loves me giving it to him!!!! any advice especially from the men joanne75 " A) Figure out what he doesn't like about it. The two most common things I hear from guys who won't go down on their women is that they think it's emasculating or that they don't like the smell/taste. If he thinks it's emasculating, then try to talk to him to figure out why he thinks that way. If he thinks real men don't do that stuff, try to convince him that you think a real man is more interested in getting his woman off than himself. Sexual roles like these tend to be pretty deeply ingrained, though, so if this is his problem you might be out of luck. If it's a taste/smell issue, has he even tried to go down on you? If not, then point out to him that he doesn't know how it is if he hasn't tried. If he does try and it turns out that there IS a taste/smell problem, then the complaint is valid just as if it was you going down on him. I don't know to what extent, if any, a woman's diet affects her taste and smell, but I know that it affect's the taste/smell of a man so I imagine there is a similar correlation. For a man, it's suggested that before the act he eat a lot of fruit and drink a lot of water while avoiding salty, sour, or heavy foods. I would try that for yourself as well. If that doesn't work, then there are flavored lubes and perfumes that are safe for human consumption that you can use as well. B) If you can't get him to do it, don't make an issue of it. In my opinion, sex shouldn't be about doing something you dislike to get the other person to do what you do like. I'm sure there are things he'd love you to do that you would refuse; everyone has something that's off limits. If the things he does do for you please you and he does them with the intent to please you, then you don't really have it that bad. 2006-01-06 00:21:41
32 970 [user=301]six[/user] wrote: " My advice is this - sacrifice your personal comfort for someone you love, even if it's only on special occasions. And here's the kicker - pretend you enjoy it. There's nothign worse than feeling "well, she's doing it, but she sure isn't liking it". You can tell him not to come in your mouth (he'll probably agree and do it anyway), and you can stipulate the "spit" rule, or even finish off with your hands. Girls, men enjoy being the centre of attention just as much as you do. " My advice is exactly the opposite. When you find out your partner is faking it, it's a HUGE let down. Even if you don't get off on what you're doing, you should still enjoy getting your partner off. If it's so bad that you have to fake enjoyment, then don't do it. EDIT: I wanted to expand on this a bit. Faking it depends entirely upon the situation. If you are into casual sex, then it may be better for the immediate mood if you fake it a bit, or play up the situation to avoid awkwardness. If you love the person you are with, then by all means do NOT fake sex. Dishonesty is the biggest killer in a romantic relationship. In a loving relationship, the best intimacy is achieved through communication, honesty, and open giving. There is a huge difference between openly giving and grudingly giving. Even though some particular sex act may not be your favorite thing in the world, if you openly give it out of love, then it can be a pleasurable thing, especially if you find arrousal in the act of pleasing your partner. If you grudgingly give, it will show in the act and make your partner feel guilty for what amounts to deriving pleasure from your misery, and that is a total mood killer. If there are little particular aspects about an act that you don't like, there is almost always a work-around, and if you both love each other and are secure with one another, you should be able to communicate these little things and your partner ought to be able to work through that. One of the biggest complaints about oral sex is taste (and honestly, I think it's less a complaint than it is an unfounded fear). If you have good general hygiene, which everyone should have anyway, oral sex should not have an unpleasant taste or smell. Obvious exceptions might include urinary tract infections, yeast infections, or menstruation, but those are all temporary issues. Oral sex is also very sanitary (the mouth has far more germs than healthy genitals) 2006-01-06 00:47:33
32 974 [user=243]Workit[/user] wrote: "Do women find it arousing in any way when a man ejaculates on their face? It looks quite demeaning to me..." & Arousing isn't the word. I enjoy the core act itself and definitely the fringe benefits of his ejaculating on my face or in my mouth.& :P I find this to be the BIGGEST turn on for me as a female.& I find that with a little practice and willingness you will not gag!& Learn to enjoy your mate!& & The act is only demeaning if you are not comfortable in your own mind.& I never feel demeaned because I am pleased with what I am doing and he is pleased.& :D I see it like this I am there ( in the bed) & for his pleasure and he is there for mine!!!!!! So, we are both winners. & 2006-01-06 08:13:20
32 975 [user=374]dfs3[/user] wrote: "[user=301]six[/user] wrote: " My advice is this - sacrifice your personal comfort for someone you love, even if it's only on special occasions. And here's the kicker - pretend you enjoy it. There's nothign worse than feeling "well, she's doing it, but she sure isn't liking it". You can tell him not to come in your mouth (he'll probably agree and do it anyway), and you can stipulate the "spit" rule, or even finish off with your hands. Girls, men enjoy being the centre of attention just as much as you do. " My advice is exactly the opposite. When you find out your partner is faking it, it's a HUGE let down. Even if you don't get off on what you're doing, you should still enjoy getting your partner off. If it's so bad that you have to fake enjoyment, then don't do it." & I definitely agree with dfs... I would also like to add that when a woman fakes liking oral sex, it's most likely to be a bad session, because her heart isn't into it.& Same goes for the men. 2006-01-06 08:21:54
32 982 I agree also. Nobody owes anyone else anything like that. It is not a persons duty to just please somebody else because they want pleasing at the expense of the& partners& feelings. And expecting somebody to pretend they like it just to suit you, man, talk about selfish. If people are not compatible in bed, it is sometimes better to go their seperate ways than to go without and feel deprived or to expect the other person to do something they don't want to do. 2006-01-06 11:21:58
32 986 My advice is do not fake anyhting related to sex....be frank and truthful..it will be apreciated later in life. tell the true it is not your fault if you doesn't feel a thing sometimes 2006-01-06 16:17:54
33 127 I started a thread on Oral Sex...the b.j. [url]femalesexuality.mywowbb.com/forum7/32.html, but I think that a small poll of people's views on giving oral sex would be helpful. Thank you for participating. Kemi ;) 2005-05-17 13:57:09
34 137 Is there any chance of being exposed to STDs when fingering a women? 2005-05-21 12:00:11
34 138 Yes there are, depending on which STD's you are talking about. HIV is less risky since it needs to be in body fluids but then if there are body fluids on the finger it's possible. Herpes is most common for this type of transmission. Mouth, genitals or hands can transmit herpes virus and other types of virus as well. TUI (urinary tract infection) is also very possible from dirty fingers and nails. Kemi 2005-05-21 15:23:10
34 139 I thaught HIV died with contact to air. And what are those chances compared to oral, anal or vaginal? I guess you need to touch your self with fingers in contact with vaginal fluid in order to transmit anything? 2005-05-21 16:36:57
34 140 Hi, Blood born diseases such as HIV and Hepatitis can enter through cuts in your hands, reportedly. If you injure her vulva or vagina and there is bleeding, which isn't uncommon based on the questions I receive, or there is menstrual blood present then disease transmission is possible. I don't recall seeing risk factors for this activity. It is likely lower risk than vaginal intercourse and much lower than anal intercourse. The last I recall there was debate over whether there had ever been a confirmed cases of oral transmission of HIV. If you are concerned, then use latex, vinyl, or Nitrile exam gloves as a barrier. This is what is recommended for safe sex. It also reduces friction and irritation. Additional lubrication should be used even if you don't use the gloves. Brad 2005-05-22 06:16:28
34 141 HIV virus does "eventually" die with contact to air. It's been reported to remain viable for many hours. HIV virus does not live well in saliva so the risk is lower but not zero. Brad, I'm not so sure that even if the vaginal tissue is fully intact that virus transmission is impossible. Mucus membranes like that are not protected as your surface skin on your body where a cut or opening is necessary to penetrate. Kemi 2005-05-22 12:49:25
36 144 Of what I have been reading, it would appear that the hymen of a womans vulva can cause pain during sex. I was rather curious if the hymen can be surgically removed or not?& I apologize for any misused terminology, I'm not as informed about the subject as I'd like to be. I'd greatly appreciate being responded to like an adult, my being an adolecent shouldn't affect the way you respond to my inquiry. Thank you. -Kyle 2005-05-24 04:17:12
36 146 Hi, Please see the information on the webpage linked to below: [url=www.thedoctorslounge.net/clinlounge/procedures/gynecology/hymenectomy.htm] www.thedoctorslounge.net/clinlounge/procedures/gynecology/hymenectomy.htm Brad 2005-05-24 10:36:49
36 148 Here is an article on The Hymen that may shed some light as well. [url]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen Kemi 2005-05-24 11:55:29
36 150 Much appreciated, thanks. 2005-05-24 19:10:12
38 164 Hi, I'm new here... and new to sex. While I do masturbate, and have done so for a while (not telling how long...) I realized I reach orgasms quite fast, sometimes in the span of 15 minutes! Same happens during sex with my partner (male, 20, tall, if it helps). What the heck is wrong with me? Most females I know take at least an hour! Should I worry? See a doctor? I wouldn't know how to ask, my doc is nice but MALE and OLD. Uggghh. I don't want him to see me "down there". I think my clit. is larger than normal and that is why I'm reaching an orgasm faster... could that be it? I hope you people can help me. And please, no flaming, I'm 19, and the age for consent in most countries is 18. Please help! :shock: 2005-05-30 20:57:41
38 167 Hi Liza, According to the survey that looks at female sexual arousal on the website: 66%& of women say& they become aroused to the point of orgasm in 15 minutes or less when they masturbate. 31% of women say they become aroused to the point of orgasm in 15 minutes or less when they engage in sex with a partner. I would say you have lots of company and that there is nothing wrong with you. The link to the survey results follows: www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=966966231 Brad 2005-05-30 21:08:20
38 168 Thank you so much! I'm more relieved now; after all, there are some questions you can't ask your mother... 2005-05-30 21:10:27
38 170 I think most men would be happy that you reach orgasm in 15 minutes or less. Then you can go for round 2! :D There is nothing that turns me on more than seeing my partner reaching orgasm... the more turned on she is the more turned on I get. Lucky me... she is the same. It's like a circle feeding upon itself. Round and round we go! :P Kemi 2005-05-31 07:36:39
38 189 I doubt very much if any man would be able to keep going for an hour so think yourself lucky lol. 2005-06-05 14:54:16
38 362 Do not worry about going off so fast.& After you are done, just continue with your boyfriend.& Please him in any way you can.& Maybe the same thing is happening to him.& Just for for it all!!!!!& You will grow out of this. 2005-07-24 02:55:28
38 486 you should be happy.And i would like to have you as my girl friend(kidding).You are ok baby 2005-09-03 04:29:43
38 490 Hello and Welcome :) less than 15 minutes is great! I do understand that you would like to go on for longer without orgasming, and as you are pretty new to sex, all you need do is practice :) If it helps any, I reach orgasms very fast during masturbation on my own as well. But it suits me as I dont get much time to myself anyway. There are rare occasions where I can draw it out longer than that but I never bother as I much prefer to be with my Partner. Well done is what I say to you :) Princess 2005-09-03 08:46:05
39 175 Sorry this is so long, I'll understand if you skim, but I'd really like some help: My girlfriend and I have been going out for about seven months now, and we've been giving each other oral sex for a pretty substantial portion of that. I enjoy receiving and I enjoy giving, and generally enjoy one another's company and conversation and have a solid, healthy relationship, but we've never had intercourse, which I'm okay with. So, I was a little surprise earlier today to notice, when I went to give her head, that there was a thick, white, sticky fluid. Obviously, I've seen her natural lubrication before, and normally it's slick, thin, and clear. I went ahead anyway, and as if it didn't look and feel enough like semen, it tasted rather similar as well (having tasted my own a bit in the interest of being informed firsthand). Even so, I kept on, and after I finished I asked her if she had cheated on me, because even though I didn't think it at all likely that she would, we're always very honest and open with each other, and as soon as we have any sort of concern. She looked really suprised and said no, and I believe her, but there's a part of my brain that, while very much in the minority, is also very vocal and annoying, and paranoid. So, essentially, my question is this: can a girl's natural lubrication have such an appearance/taste/feel? I don't think it's female ejaculate, because she's never done that before so far as I know, although she always orgasms, and anyway we hadn't really gotten into much stimulation at that point besides me stroking her a bit through her underwear. I would love some input on this, because I love her a lot and the rational, "me" part of my mind believes her, but part of the back of my mind doesn't, and it wouldn't be fair to her to be suspicious, especially since I'm not really suspicious, if that makes any sense. Much thanks, and sorry for this gargantuan post, I was just a little concerned. 2005-06-04 00:47:37
39 176 Hi, Cervical fluids can be very thick and elastic. If you were to get some between your thumb and pointy finger and pull them apart it would stretch like gum. See the fluids in the pictures of the cervix show on the photos linked to below: Hopefully your girlfriend forgives your question, because you kind of asked a question you shouldn't have. By asking if she had cheated on you you kind of implied that you think she would, something girls don't like hearing. Brad 2005-06-04 13:00:15
39 179 A woman’s fluids change throughout the monthly cycle, most noticeably during ovulation. What you describe is totally normal. Kemi P.S. I agree with Brad, you should grovel some before talking about this again with her. Plead ignorance or something. ;) 2005-06-04 20:44:08
39 181 I do notice a change in fluid color and texture when I am about 8 days from my period.& Everywoman is different, but there is always an excess of white sticky tissue like material either inside or outside.& It is normal and it will smell a little different than normal.& Dont feel bad about questions like that, honesty is the best in a relationship.& What if you didn't say anything, then you just sit around and stew on it and become bitter.& I have asked questions like that before in the beginning of our relationship because I was insecure and so much in love w/ him.& He understood, but has always told me the truth. 2005-06-05 02:10:52
39 182 Yup, everyone's spot on about the mucous changing during a woman's cycle. There's even a contraceptive method that goes by the texture and stretch a women can get out of her mucous... I wouldn't try that method myself! Basically a women is ovulating when her mucous is quite clear, and can be stretched between her fingers - "spinbarkheit" - or something like that... Aren't I just full of useless facts? 2005-06-05 02:58:40
39 201 I've heard of that method, KillerQueen.& I actually read a book about it. I& don't think it's& 100%& reliable& as birth control, but I think& it's a nice& way for a woman to be fully aware of what is going on inside her body. That way women won't feel like their own body is such a mystery to them. 2005-06-06 15:35:08
39 205 Cool, thanks for the responses, I really appreciate it. She really wasn't upset about it, I guess I worded that poorly, I didn't just up and say "are you cheating on me?" Like I said, thanks for the input, I didn't really think she was cheating on me, it was just something that I hadn't encountered before and was a little freaked out. I had actually forgotten about it all until I checked my email, so I suppose I couldn't have been too terribly shaken up about it. And yeah, thanks luvs2dance, I knew that if I didn't ask about it I would just ruminate on it and I would just muck things up. 2005-06-06 23:01:45
39 208 [user=24]oceanwinds[/user] wrote: "I've heard of that method, KillerQueen. I actually read a book about it. I don't think it's 100% reliable as birth control, but I think it's a nice way for a woman to be fully aware of what is going on inside her body. That way women won't feel like their own body is such a mystery to them." I agree about women knowing about their bodies being a very positive thing, and far too rare. I mean, I know women who've never masturbated or never even looked at themselves... 2005-06-07 04:33:38
39 211 Hi, The "Billings Method," based on monitoring differences in mucus, is about 80% effective in preventing pregnancy. Compared to the calender method that is 79% effective, condom 90%, the Pill 90-98% effective. Brad 2005-06-07 08:34:45
41 183 I was just wondering if it is normal to maturbate simply by contracting the vaginal muscles, particularly pressing on the clitoris.& Most of the stimulation is felt on the front wall of the vagina and the clitoris.& It involves no hand contact/stimulation at all. 2005-06-05 04:03:49
41 184 Normal? What's that? I've only known one woman that can do that and she loved to brag. Maybe it's not normal, but I'm sure most could learn to do it if taught how to control those muscles. Kemi 2005-06-05 08:41:04
41 185 Well, if I contract my PC muscles I can feel my clitoris move, and its rather nice (I guess it rubs against the skin around it), but I couldn't orgasm that way. 2005-06-05 10:54:06
41 187 I can orgasm by crossing my legs and squeezing them. I have to be turned on by something first though. I doubt if I could do it in work for example. 2005-06-05 14:49:41
41 190 That's exactly how I do it, nosycow.& Squeeze my thighs and vaginal muscles while having erotic thoughts.& It's a relief to know that I'm not the only person to masturbate this way! Definitely not trying to brag.& I've actually& never been able to do it the "standard" way (using my hands/fingers) and have always been concerned that this might be a problem.& I've& never found my way of taking care of business in any books or journals I've read. & 2005-06-05 15:34:21
41 191 I've never been able to do it using my fingers either. I need something else to stimulate myself, even the handle of a hairbrush works for me. 2005-06-05 15:48:34
41 192 You know it's going to be a good week when& you learn& you're not a freak first thing on a Monday morning! Thanks, nosycow. 2005-06-05 16:58:30
41 194 Hi, Women who have taken the survey that looks at female masturbation say that 49% of them have masturbated using thigh tension/pressure/pelvic rocking, so you are not alone. The survey is linked to below: www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=3718878344 It does appear to be a masturbation technique that is difficult to replace with new ones. & Brad 2005-06-05 18:54:07
41 195 Can I just say that this is a really great site - so informative - and I'm very glad I stumbled onto it. 2005-06-05 19:29:07
41 196 Me too. It's great to be able to chat about these things anonymously. 2005-06-06 15:24:08
41 197 I've done this. The right clothing, really helps for me. It needs to be soft enough, but also solid enough. 2005-06-06 15:26:09
41 199 Tight jeans work for me ;) 2005-06-06 15:29:15
41 203 Trams with poor suspension can be quite delightful as well :cool: 2005-06-06 17:55:47
41 204 If you do the kegal exercises you learn to isolate the muscles and can bring yourself to orgasm. I have found lying on my side with knees bent and curling pelvis up while tightening the muscle results in some great feelings and often an orgasm. 2005-06-06 19:34:36
41 206 Yes you can! I have been able to ejaculate that way.& It seems like it takes quite a bit of concentration if you are just starting out, but when you strengthen those pc muscles and have good control of them, you can grip the penis and have an amazing orgasm.& It does make quite a mess, but its worth it.:P 2005-06-07 01:37:01
41 244 Hi dear gobs..you're not alone I used to masturbate at the office in my cubicle inserting the seam of my jeans inside my vagina (no panties)& to rub the clit then I squeezed my legs together and rocked& them, it was slow but great& love and kisses Luisa 2005-06-18 14:34:39
41 247 I also masturbate by crossing my legs and squeezing them together. It's not as 'easy' or fast& as fingering but it's a good way to reach orgasm when I'm in a public place (like a classroom or when riding a bus) and cannot play with myself in a more obvious way. Some of my friends use this method too. 2005-06-26 23:02:21
41 261 I would say that it's normal. I mostly masturbate using my fingers and playing with my clit and sometimes with my vibrator. But if I am not able to do that I just do "kegel exercises" and I get off that way. Very quick orgasm. :D 2005-07-02 18:28:36
41 483 I guess you could consider that "normal" masturbation. I mean if you get off why the hell not. 2005-09-01 22:13:05
42 212 I'm not& just trying to know your opinion about this issue, I'm also asking about pleasure and pain. The thing is that I've experienced both, and also together, but sometimes it's hard for me to mark a limit: I can't tell when the pain stops feeling good and begins to hurt me... I would like to know what are your thoughts about this and if anyone can tell me his/her experience. & Love, Lucy 2005-06-07 21:18:14
42 213 I sometimes have a hard time distinguishing the difference between pleasure and pain as well.& For me, pain is mostly pleasure.& I dont mean getting beat up or anything along that line, but I do like things rough and sometimes I dont realize how much I wanted it rough until afterwards and everything hurt.& YOU tend to get so caught up in the moment w/ all your feelings going, and I am not sure, but dont you& release some kind of endorphins when having sex, so a lot of the time we dont realize how much pain we put our bodies through.& the other night I actually managed the middle splits.& haven't done those since high school, and I am still hurting from it now. 2005-06-08 01:48:35
42 216 Luvs2dance I know what you mean, but I was trying to explain a different situation. I've done that and with someone the pain feels really well, up to certain point, but what I was trying to say is that I hurt myself, on purpose, with things and everything hurts a lot and I bleed, but I feel pleasure anyway (of course, when pain gets unbearable I have to stop, and then I feel guilty but I can't avoid it) Give me your opinion please C U 2005-06-08 19:30:28
42 220 are you cutting yourself?& I have heard of that and it can become a huge problem.& I dont have any experience w/ this, anyone else have any thoughts. 2005-06-11 00:42:34
42 224 Hi Lucy, If you are experiencing pain, you are making yourself less sensitive sexually. You need to focus on pleasureabe sensations and when the pain starts stop. If unable to stop you need to seek medical assistance. 2005-06-11 07:49:52
42 225 Dear Lucy, I'm not a Doctor or Nurse, but I've been working with patients for 20 years in hospital. What you describe may not be "normal". And I use the term normal very loosely. Some people get a feeling of "release" when they deliberately hurt themselves. Cutting is the most common method. I guess you could call it pleasure. It makes them feel alive and real. I can't tell from this alone if you fit into this area. If you're feeling guilt, perhaps you should seek some professional help. Feeling guilty about something isn't good and hurting yourself isn't good either. Put the two together and I think you get the picture. Kemi 2005-06-11 09:00:39
42 227 Hi, She may be confusing an endorphins rush with sexual arousal. If she is having trouble experiencing sexual arousal and orgasm pain may provide some feelings of physical and emotional change. If prior sexual abuse occurred perhaps there could be an aversion to sexual feelings, which they had no prior control over. Many people engage in activities that involve pain, S&M activities, and these& often take advantage of changes brought about by hormonal changes in the body. Some people become endorphin junkies, which is bad. This isn't limited to sex, but also combat and thrill seekers. Cutters also use these hormonal rushes as a natural stimulate and sedative, I believe, and to express control over their body, which they could not do during prior abuse. I too am not a doctor so the above is just a statement of ideas, not known fact. Brad 2005-06-11 09:17:24
42 229 Hi to everyone, thanks a lot for your ideas and recommendations. I cut myself, you could say that, I've been doing it for about six years, and even I think I should stop, I can't control it very well. I am receiving professional help, as I am in psychological treatment, and last december I went to a doctor for a check up, but I know now I should go again. I would like to know more opinions about this, and get more information. Lucy 2005-06-11 15:15:50
42 237 Do a little research on "borderline personality disorder". I hope this helps. 2005-06-14 17:21:02
42 264 I know it's been awhile since this one has been down, but I'm going to add to it. I have had friends that cut themselves because it felt good to let their anger out, but then afterwards they would be in pain. They have gone to treatments and as far as I know they don't do it anymore.& It's all in self-control.& Hopefully everything is okay.& 2005-07-03 01:48:52
45 239 I'm constantly worried that there's something wrong with me "down there".& My latest concern is this bump, skin thing that's on the top of the entrance to my vagina.& It's not like a recent development or anything, I just don't know what it is and that worries me.& It's pretty thick (I don't know if that's the right word) and feels kind of rough (that may not be the right word either..)& It extends out of my vagina a bit like a flap of skin or something.& Maybe it's absolutely nothing and I'm just making a big deal of it.& anyway.. it would be nice just to know that everything's normal.& I'm paranoid.& I figured posting this anonymously wouldn't hurt.. 2005-06-17 16:04:55
45 240 I suggest asking your doctor on your next visit. It could be one of a number of things. 2005-06-17 17:49:18
45 241 Hi, I have received numerous questions about this area of a woman's anatomy, because it is not always smooth or has skin tags, etc. Without seeing it is hard to know. The area around the female urethra can have numerous shapes and appearances. It may even be part of your hymen. On the page about the hymen linked to below you can see three different examples of the area in question. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hymen.htm Brad 2005-06-17 19:44:20
45 242 so it's probably nothing unusual, right? thanks. 2005-06-18 14:14:25
45 243 Hi dear Femme...if your extra skin in your vagina is about the same color as the rest, same consistency and it doesn't hurt when is touched is almost certain that it is normal part of your anatomy, I haven't seen too many vaginas that look the same and I wouldn't worry too much but if you want you can get removed by a plastic surgeon...good luck to you ..kisses& Luisa 2005-06-18 14:25:46
46 245 Does anyone have suggestions on how to stimulate girls? I'm looking for something& that I& can do without going down her pants. Neither of us are quite ready for that but I still want to stimulate her. Any suggestions??? ~Roland 2005-06-20 22:04:02
46 246 Hi Roland, Well, apart from (French)kissing her, you could gently and softly stroke her neck, kiss her neck, gently stroke her breasts and/or play with her nipples, lick/kiss her earlobes, and when she's wearing a skirt you could softly stroke her inner thighs... It could get her very exited. (I hope I understood you correctly when you mentioned 'stimulate her'...) Good luck! 2005-06-26 22:52:24
46 248 There are so many parts of a woman's body that can respond sexually if she's already in an aroused state. When a woman's aroused she& may respond to the right touch on a perfectly 'ordinary' body part. Ofcourse each woman is very unique, so the only suggestion I have is to explore. 2005-06-28 19:20:23
46 361 Many years ago my wife saw me masterbate without me knowing she was watching.& A couple weeks later she told me she saw me& masterbating.& She thought that was the greatest thing she ever watched.& She was so stimualed for two weeks.& At that point she ask me to masterbate in front of her.& To this date, 10 year later, I still do what she ask.& In the bed, in the shower, in the car, on the lawn, in the pool, you name it we have tried it.& I love it.& She loves it.& Sometimes I never get the chance to finish,& she is on it at the right time.& Two cums later we are both happy.& Give this one a try.& If you need find someway to talk about masterbate.& She may have already found herself. 2005-07-24 02:46:25
46 478 well , from what I've experienced I'm& just beginning to know pretty precisely how my bf should stimulate me to get me "there"....He hasn't given me any orgasms yet, but it will soon happen I'm sure of that !& You know , every woman is different blabla bllabalablalallala.....but try this : get her to lay on her back, relax& and touch everypart of her body very sensually, and take your time pleaz!!!!& then after like, 10 minutes of body rubbing, you slowly put your head between her legs and lick gently and slowly her labia ,and everything around it , except the clitoris,...(she should be very arroused by that time) ,,,then you can lick her clitoris, verrrryyy gently it is so sensitive, and the key here is to take your time....(15 seconds IS NOT enough ) lol. You make circles with ur tongue on her clit, all around it , on one side, and on the other to see what she likes best. Then when u see she's very arroused and breathing hard, you can insert your finger into her vagine while still licking her clit. For me, double action does it !!!& then insert 2 fingers , but dont stop licking ...now u can lick faster but still very lightly...and u can be a little more aggressive with ur fingers. U can even play with the anus a little just on the outside, and even insert a finger while licking the clit. So, thats how a man can make me cum. I dont know about other women but I hope this can help u!!!! xox 2005-09-01 09:51:47
46 495 Take her panties and rub them back and forth around her front crotch area... Melissa 2005-09-03 23:40:56
47 249 i dont think that my labia looks right.... i think it is too big.:?i dont know anyone else that is like that ...... and i was wondering if there is surgury that I could get to like shorten it.... PLEASE TELL ME IF THERE IS SOMETHING I COULD GET TO LIKE RESHAPE IT AND WHY IT IS LIKE THAT !!!!! 2005-06-29 01:46:15
47 250 Hi dear..the size of the labia is very different from woman to woman..many girls pierce their labia& and hang heavy jewelry tha sooner or later will enlarge the labia becasue it is soft tissue but if you don't feel comfotable with your go to a cosmetic surgeon(reputable) and he will be able to reshape it according to your desires; it is very important for every woman ego to feel comfortable how& the vulva looks. Do not worry to much we all are different..good luck love and kisses Luisa & 2005-06-29 17:58:53
47 252 I've always thought it beautiful when a woman's inner labia protrude a bit, but mine are tucked in unfortunately. Is there a way to get them to hang out a little? I have "normal" sized outer labia, not overly large, but not tiny either. I think it's so much more sexy to see "pink" there than just a crack. :) Someone told me the more you have sex or masturbate, the bigger the inner labia will be, but I masturbate frequently, have sex with both men and women, but mine are stubborn and refuse to come out of hiding. Any information? 2005-06-29 19:55:32
47 253 Hi very interesting question , as I said inthe above message there is no any standard of beauty for the labia; that you want it that it shows& a little more is very improtant for your well being...I never heard of enlarging techniques but as I said before it may be very possible maybe attaching some weight for 10 to 15 minutes daaily for some time and checking the size every day,since it is soft tissue, I don't believe it would damage anyhting if the weight is no too much, just like any excercise..love and kisses..god luck Luisa\ 2005-06-30 13:14:52
47 263 thank you so much for your help .....what kinda of doctor do i go to for this? How do i show or tell him how i want& my labia& to look? 2005-07-03 01:42:53
47 265 i am just starting to go out with this& woman and i was wondering .......i have never been eaten out before and i am very scared and nerves, because of the size of my labia and i am not sure if she would be grossed out or not to do it? i know i sound very childish to be scared i am almost 20 yrs old and i am acting like a child ... but i need some advise & PLEASE HELP!! 2005-07-03 01:51:40
47 266 Everyone is different, and I think the woman that you'll be going out should look at them as a part of you.& Just relax. :) 2005-07-03 01:56:44
47 267 Thank you very much for the advise!!:D 2005-07-03 02:00:45
47 268 *going out with the edit button seems to not work 2005-07-03 02:01:58
47 269 I wish you all the luck. ;) 2005-07-03 02:02:32
47 270 Your so awesome!:cool:lol 2005-07-03 02:04:49
47 271 Aww. :) Thanks. You are too. :D 2005-07-03 02:06:55
47 272 Can i ask you something ? They say that there is 82 % of women or some large number like that have small labia's and they say that they rest are large. Would that mean that she has probly never been with a girl with a large labia? I am just saying isnt that a possiblity?& 2005-07-03 02:10:26
47 273 Sure, ask me anything... I don't know? :?& But I know my labias a big. 2005-07-03 02:12:13
47 274 Yours is big? 2005-07-03 02:13:10
47 275 Sometimes mine stick out a little... otherwise I just tuck them in. 2005-07-03 02:13:17
47 276 I meant to type are... but instead I typed a... :P& where's my brain at? 2005-07-03 02:14:04
47 277 I tuck mine in too. But sometimes when i walk they hurt i dont kno if that makes any sence to you or not but .....it really gets on my nerves i am really goin towards wanting to get surgury to fix them. 2005-07-03 02:17:19
47 278 well everything is big... except my clit... so... I don't know... I love it anyway. 2005-07-03 02:17:46
47 279 Do you think that surgury is a good or ....bad idea ? 2005-07-03 02:18:53
47 280 hm... I don't think I've experienced that quite yet.& I think you should go for what you want. It's your body. Me being the way I am, I wouldn't mind the girls labias being big. I would still see her as a beautiful person that I cherish. 2005-07-03 02:20:01
47 281 What do you really want to do? 2005-07-03 02:27:01
47 282 i dont know..... i dont really find them all that attractive. I feel ashamed most of the time .....because i know there are not alot of people i know that are like me and i dont wanna be known as weird .......... 2005-07-03 02:29:11
47 283 yes, there are alot of people in this world with the same problem just known that i know of.... 2005-07-03 02:30:02
47 284 I think if you want to feel better about them then go to a surgeon at least a consultation.& Understand what he'd be doing.& You could probably run a search on the web on it and find the best place. & 2005-07-03 02:35:22
47 285 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP!!!!! I REALLY APPERCIATE IT !! 2005-07-03 02:38:04
47 286 You're very welcome. :) 2005-07-03 02:40:11
47 287 Dear Ni I just want to tell you that we all are different and beautiful...whenever I'm with another female I do not examine her, I just look a her eyes and try to get inside her soul....from there size or color or texture doesn't matter to me....let the moment take you away ...enjoy making love it is sublime& love and luck& kisses Luisa PS a good cosmetic surgeon can reshape your labia....it is a simple procedure 2005-07-03 11:27:59
47 288 [user=19]luisa1[/user] wrote: "I just want to tell you that we all are different and beautiful...whenever I'm with another female I do not examine her, I just look a her eyes and try to get inside her soul....from there size or color or texture doesn't matter to me....let the moment take you away ...enjoy making love it is sublime& " & Exactly! ;) 2005-07-03 15:09:21
47 293 Hi, This topic is addressed on the website on the following pages: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/c_size.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/c_size.htm [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/v_image1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/v_image1.htm Brad 2005-07-06 10:40:03
48 254 Hi, First post here. Well, after a day at school or a day being& out, i'll& get this wetness and itll bother me till& I go to the bathroom& and when i go to a bathroom, its like a clear sticky fluid. And it has a smell to it,& I& dont& really know how& describe it though. I will have taken a shower that day, and that evening if im aroused and masturbating, i notice my lubrication is kind of sticky and sour. Now i dont like for a guy to be down there unless ive taken a bath and thoroughly washed with a warm rag. Is it normal get that kind of sticky fluid for no reason? Is there any way to help prevent it from happening? I havnt seen my doctor lately, so i havnt been able to ask her anything, and I havnt been able to phone her. 2005-07-01 03:25:11
48 258 Hello and welcome :-) There are many reasons for causing your discharge to be sticky. However, if the smell is offensive, ( not wishing to offend here ) but perhaps it could be the first sign of an infection and should be checked out by a doctor. It could be a simple thing like your diet / foods you eat. For example, vinegar based sauces in salads or drinking an excess of fresh orange juice - these can upset the balance of yeast in the body and in turn cause your discharge to be different. There are lots of food and drinks that can do this. Also, stress, medication, washing too many times a day, using deoderising products on the vaginal area, a whole host of things can change your discharge. Like I said, it is probably nothing to be overly concerned about but if you are worried about the smell, that is the first sign of an infection. You perhaps should make an appointment and seek medical advice for it. Hope this helps Princess 2005-07-02 13:21:34
48 262 I get the same stuff...I've always had a discharge like that. & but it doesn't have a bad smell... nor does it make my natural lube sour. So.. maybe go to the doctor, and have a look done. 2005-07-02 18:38:01
48 295 Hi, What you experience does not sound unusual. The type and amount of vaginal fluids varies among women. It is also normal for it to vary during your menstrual cycle. It can be watery or sticky. Scent also varies among women. What is reason for concern is changes in your vaginal fluids. It is important to know what is& normal for you. If the amount, type, and scent of your fluids change you should consult a doctor. Foul scents and thick white or greenish colors and itching are& a possible indication of infection. Not all forms of infection produce symptoms so yearly gynecological exams are recommended. The discomfort you experience at the end of the day may be the result of wearing clothing that does not allow your vaginal fluids to evaporate away. Tight clothing and thick fabrics are not recommended. For more on this please see the page linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hygiene.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hygiene.htm Brad & 2005-07-06 11:16:55
52 289 Hi group, a shy question from a shy inexperienced male. I hope my english is good enough and i've found the 'right' words for this 'specicic' topic but the zero posts in the german sub-forum don't let me think that i get an answer in my own language. I'm 29 and have a girl friend since january. On a calm, warm evening we came to talk about our sexlife. After some general talk she said she want's me to stimulate her inner lips and her clit with my tounge. It should be very loving - tender - affectionate (these were the three translations of the word 'zärtlich' in my dictionary) and should last long. She said that she mastrubates sometimes but using her fingers it always feels to hard. She can only have an orgasm if it happens early enough. If it takes longer then i makes her pain. I asked her if this could be a physical (medical) problem but she said no. Could this be true? Since now we only had 'normal' sex. No anal and no oral. Altough i don't want her to give me a 'blowjob' i consider doing it on her because she also don't get an orgasm in our 'usual' sex. My question is how does it taste? In the german cunnilingus section is written that the woman should take a bath before sex. But in the same section is also written that the woman should only clear her genitals with clear water. What i really dislike is tasting showering gel or shampoo. One time i kissed her neck after she took a shower and the taste made me nearly spit. Thanks for this informative website, Andy 2005-07-04 17:17:57
52 290 Andy if you think that your girl friend genitals taste good naturally, tell her no to use any deodorant or perfumes when meeting for intimate& relations, we believe that we need to use a little perfume here and there and also deodorant, etc. What& about a natural essence like strawberries, cinamon, etc just to make love When she complains about pain in her vulva, is her vulva dry or is lubricated? maybe it is dry and the friction from the fingers irritate it to the point of pain; try to use something to lubricate it, you can try cream, honey, got the idea? Also maybe you are concentrating too much on her vulva when making love, try other parts of her body her nipples, her feet, her tighs, her butt, try a relaxing massage....contrary to beliefs we have many erogenous zones besides our genitals and we can reach a great orgasm. good luck to you Luisa PS youre doing great with the english 2005-07-04 18:30:12
52 291 Thank your very much for your answer Luisa. Of course we nestle - nuzzle (kuscheln) before sex and kiss each others erogenous zones. It is the cunnilungus that i've never done before so i am a bit nervous how it is going to be for us. That's the reason i surfed around and found this forum. Believe me or not i came this link-way: google -> wikipedia -> the-clitoris -> this forum. And it is the very detailed cunnilingus article on the-clitoris with 'five' paragraphs about the smell and taste and that it differs when the woman is ill but no general answer that made me more curious about what i have to expect. In the end i suppose i shouldn't think too much about it. I'll 'taste' when it happens... About her pain i have to say that she never mastrubated in front of me so i can't tell how long "when it takes longer" means but she never complained about pain when we had our 'normal' sex. Could it be that there es everything ok with her vuvla-wettness and only her clit reacts oversensitive? If that is the case then i have to be very soft and careful. I remember the said "it should be very loving - tender - affectionate". Good Night, Andy 2005-07-05 18:36:55
52 303 Any last tip for this weekend? Or a last warning? Still curious and nervous... Good Night, Andy 2005-07-07 18:49:32
52 330 Just relax. ;) 2005-07-11 10:46:41
52 331 Hi again, too late - i mean your posting Ladybug ;) I've never seen a woman having an orgasm before this weekend - and i never thought that they are so far away when they have one. Seems to be so much different to a man's... She had to point me here and there in the beginning after we had our long sensitive foreplay - but later i was able to react on her reactions. To answer my own question here - i enjoyed her taste. But to be true - all senses change when you are sexual stimulated - even taste and smell... It was so sexual stimulating i really got highly aroused - and it took long - longer than she mastrubates alone and longer than our regular sex. Some minutes later she said she enjoyed it so much and that she really had no pain till then, wich i was very afraid of before, but she neither wanted me to continue nor doing intercourse wich was the only thing that confused me a bit. She was in such a different mood after all - smiling so warm, satisfied and a bit exhausted at the same time. We kissed deeply and hugged each other for a really long time till we fall asleep. She faster than me wich is very unusual... In the end i'm still unsure if her genitals are oversensitive. I was very soft with my tongue and she didn't want me to finger her. I hope she hasn't lied to me when she said she has no pain when we have intercourse... Bye, Andy 2005-07-11 17:04:33
52 335 ...and how should i ask her about that? in love and confused, Andy 2005-07-13 15:53:48
52 488 Do you love her?do you want to be with her? You should care about her sexual life.Please do what she asks you to do 2005-09-03 04:42:15
52 491 Hi Andy and Welcome :) When I started reading this thread, all sorts of points started coming to mind for me to post as a reply. But then I read of your loving experience and was so thrilled for you both. I think from reading how you have described this pain, that it is not "painful" in a sense and more a type of uncomfortable feeling that some women get prior to their orgasms. It sometimes feels like you are about to urinate and at first, if your girlfriend has not experiences that type of orgasm before, it wil register as slightly painful and can be quite scary as well. Also, direct stimulation on the clitoris can become painful if this is prolonged and no orgasm is reached. Try stimulating around the clitoris area instead of the actual clitoris itself. Then when she is very aroused and "away" gently stroke her clitoris with your tongue. This will bring out her orgasm and she will appreciate it all the more. Hope this helps Princess 2005-09-03 08:55:14
52 496 Hi bifu, I guess we can start the German language forum now. ;) By now, you have probably found out how cunnilingus tastes. I didn't like the kind of salty taste when I first tried licking a girl down there but I was hot enough not to care. However, I like to take things naturally, so I never tried using anything else but the human body in bed (no lubricants, no parfums) except for condoms, of course. My advice for you is simply finding out by trying what your girlfriend likes. It's not wrong to educate yourself and talk about sex. However I find it most enjoyable (I mean 'prickelnd' for the Germans) if things just happen. When I finger a vulva I don't know where my finder is heading. I honestly don't know (unless I'm really trying hard to concentrate) because I find it difficult to match what I've seen with what touch. When giving cunnilingus I have my eyes closed (and there's no light anyways). Have fun 2005-09-04 11:48:07
52 497 Hi coololver76, Princess and EuropeanGuy, thank you very much for answering. I nearly forgot about this forum when i saw in my email that someone answered to this thread. I am sorry to say that but after i got no reply i also posted in a known german forum where the thread with my story is now 118 postings long. So the story ist really too long to retell it all in english. Our sexlife totally turned around. My girlfriend was caught mastrubating when she was 12. Her father slapped her for doing it and forbid her to do it again. She continued doing it very fast and without reaching orgasm. Always scared that her parents find out. She had only one guy in her life before me (they lived together for 5 years) and he only 'used' her for his own sexual satisfaction (only intercourse on side from the back wich was the only position where he 'came'). We can see us only at weekend at the moment because of our workshifts and the distance. After i 'licked' her for the second time we had normal intercourse with no pain as she said. The next weekend i did it again but she refused to do intercourse. In the end of this chaotic week she told me the whole story about her ex and her childhood and that she don't want to have intercourse anymore because she has bad memories about it. At that time i understood the whole situation. She gives me handjobs now and i do cunnilingus on her. One evening we were out and flirted the whole time. Back at her home we had quite unusual sex. No showering and long stroking before. I 'licked' very long an intensive and she reached her first 'real' orgasm (all others before were faked but she said she enjoyed sex very much since we don't have intercourse anymore) wich scared her much. I was scared at first too because of her body reactions. And i also couldn't believe that she never came to that point through mastrubating. In our two weeks holiday we nearly had sex every day but she only had two more orgasms. Both in unusual situations. One time in a tent in the mountains. The other standing up in the hotel room. But i we don't want to force it. I also don't push her to have intercourse again. I let her time. We are still at the beginning of our relationship. We try to see us more often the week when our workshifts allow it. We love each other very much. But to be true. These weeks before our holidays were very chaotic. To be true i also had only one girlfriend before. That was 11 years ago when i was 18 and we both were virgins at that time. And it was horrible. So i am very thankful for this website for all the information and both forums users who answered on my questions. @princess It think it was exactly as you have written. She was scared about that painlike feeling. Maybe this was the reason that she always stopped mastrubating before reaching orgasm. What i don't know yet is if she reaches orgasm by mastrubating now too. And i am unsure if i should really ask her about that. @EuropeanGuy I was really afraid in the beginnig how it would taste. What i can say now is that i love her - and her natural taste :-) I hope that wasn't too long and my englisch was good enough to understand. Reading is so easy. Writing harder, especially on subjects like this one where i always have to find the right 'special' words that you don't need when reading english manuals. Listening is more harder. And my english speaking is horrible ;-) Andy 2005-09-04 17:14:17
52 499 Hello bifu so pleased for you and your wife Good for you :) no your post was not too long we are pleased to have you take part and your English typing is great. Keep joining in ! Princess :) 2005-09-05 07:32:57
53 292 I am 29yrs old, have 2 kids, and been w/ my fiance for about 3 1/2yrs.& I am on birth control pills and have had a regular period since i started them over 4 yrs ago.& I ended my period about 15days ago and I am in the middle of my b.c. pack.& so five days ago I started another period.& Heavy at first, then just consistently light for a couple of days.& Then nothing all day today.& Me and my fiance had sex tonite, and right after I went to shower and I am bleeding again, heavy flow.& I took a p.g. test on sunday to make sure I wasn't preggo and Im not.& I am still waiting for a call back from my gyno.& But any ideas?? anybody?& I would rather I am pregnant and having a miscarriage then something else more serious.& I have tried researching some online and no help there.& :( 2005-07-06 02:45:17
53 294 Hi, I found the following information on a web search: What if I have breakthrough bleeding? Spotting or bleeding during the active pills of your pack is termed breakthrough bleeding. It is extremely common during the first three months of pill use. This bleeding can usually be ignored and should resolve by the third pack. If light bleeding persists for more than 5 to 7 days or heavy bleeding persists for more than 2 to 3 days, call your provider. We will sometimes recommend taking two pills a day (one it the morning, one in the evening) until the bleeding stops. The extra pills should be drawn from a separate pack of pills. Usually the extra pills need to be taken for 2 to 3 days. Breakthrough bleeding can also occur if you are late or forgot a pill. If you are experiencing breakthrough bleeding after your 3rd month of pill use for no obvious reason (you've taken your pills perfectly), you should call your provider. Brad 2005-07-06 10:55:09
53 296 Thanks for your input.& I wish it were as simple as that.& I have been on the pill for over 3 years, and I take it religiously at 10pm every night.& I have only missed the pill maybe once or twice in my adult life, but it hasn t been recently which is why i'm concerned.& this morning I am still bleeding, still waiting for a call back from gyno. thanks for the help;) 2005-07-06 12:19:37
53 302 Hi, I figured the second paragraph applied to you, which states you should consult your doctor. Brad 2005-07-06 22:18:38
53 305 Sorry I have no scientific& knowledfe for you, but I have heard that it's not abnormal to experience breakthrough bleeding while on the pill, especially if you've been on it for a long time. 2005-07-07 19:55:42
53 308 thanks for everyone's replies.& i went to doc today.& she wasn't too sure why it was occuring.& could be my hormones were out a wack, or stress related.& she's having me monitor my periods for the next month or two to see what happens.& No exam done, she just asked questions.& so that eased my mind a bit, but still, didn't get a whole lot of answers either.& i'll just keep an eye on my next one and see what happens during the next month. & & 2005-07-08 00:23:39
53 338 Hi i have had 2 periods a month for a year, and am now waiting for blood tests for anemia and thyroid, then an exam at hospital. I have been told to stop taking the pill too, until i get my results 2005-07-14 16:15:42
53 339 well they did ask me if i have thyroid problems in my family, and their aren't any.& They also asked about fibroid problems, which there is a history of.& But they didn't do any exams, no blood, nothing.& was a little puzzled that was all they did and paid an office visit for that.& So as of today I have been steadily bleeding for 3 weeks.& 2weeks ago i started the breakthrough bleeding, and today I continued on w/ my normal period starting w/ an extremely heavy flow.& I am really not liking the fact that i'm a woman this month.& let me know what they find out w/ you ok, i'm very interested. 2005-07-14 18:47:30
53 340 Hi, Breakthrough bleeding is more likely with low dose birth control pills and the solution is to use a higher dose. Brad 2005-07-15 10:46:05
53 341 Yeah i have heard that from people, but why would this start after years of using it.& I have been on it for 3 years, never had a problem, and prior to having my children i was on it for 2 years.& Just doesn't make sense.& I was on the depo shot before i got on the pill 3 years ago for 9months,& and w/ that high of a dose of hormones I bled consistently for 9months off and on.& nothing regular about my period then.& so then i went back on the pill and everything was normal again.& its sort of a double edge sword, if I stay on it i might bleed twice a month, if i go on something stronger I will be dealing w/ different side effects from a different delivery of hormones right? & 2005-07-15 13:10:44
53 342 Hi, It doesn't help to know that doctors know little about women's hormones. This is because they are constantly changing and because they vary from woman to woman. It is a big guessing game. They also change, decrease, with age. I woman I know starting taking the Pill because of severe cramps.& The doctor just looked at a chart and chose the one that is recommended for her need. She has to try it and hope it works. She was really concerned about the side affects, because she doesn't need it for birth control. Brad 2005-07-15 22:05:25
53 343 well it seems like the same game i& play w/ both of my children's doctor.& both my kids have asthma (moderate not severe) and I rely on my instinct most of the time to determine whether or not they will be getting their meds.& why, because i have taken them in to the er and sat there for hours while my child struggled to breath just so the nurse could finally hook him up and give him a nebulizer treatment that we could have done at home.& Now i finally have a doctor for them that understands my instincts are better than hers because i know them better, i'm there everyday.& its no different than a woman knowing her own body and what's going on.& for most women we dont enjoy going to the gyno and getting in the stirrups, not a trip to the amusement park.& so when we put ourselves thru it more than once a year, there's a freakin reason for it.& i know that its guessing game, that sucks that as far as medicine has come and we still can't figure out some basic things in the female body.& instead of trying to figure it out, they just try a different pill.& here......try this pill instead, yeah the side effects might make your sex drive disappear but its fine, you wont get pregnant. hmmm. that makes sense. 2005-07-16 03:19:14
53 344 I have been on Depo for almost over& three years& now and I just don't even get my period, So I guess each woman is different but they say after the first shot you might have it light for three months and then nothing after that pretty much until you go off the shot, I went off the shot for about 8 months and never had a period in 8 months I was concerned and asked my doctor and they said it was completely normal and that once I did get it I could go back on the shot or on pills which ever I chose, I found no side affects for myself with the shot except for no period, but I have always been regular and never had cramps or heavy bleeding even when I was younger. Some people complain of depression ect when on the Depo shot but then some also do when on the pill, it's all a matter of the best choice for our own bodies I found the Shot to be most effecitive for me because I have a hard time remembering to take a pill at the same time every day, I don't mind not having a period so it's a non issue for me as it is for some woman but it was a little weird that my body took 8 months to expell the hormones from the shot, and when I did have my period it was heavyer longer and I had slight cramping for the first one and the one after that was normal. So this just gose to prove how different each womans body is, I know others who are on the same treatment and get a light period faithfully every month or there normal period and other's that have been on it and then go off and get there's in the first month of being of fit. The only thing I am cautious about is the fact that when I go off it again if I want to get pregant I may have to wait an indefinate amount of time... But I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles 2005-07-16 12:11:45
54 304 hello, i am new here and i´m sorry if i write something wrong because i speak spanish :D. i´ve been thinking about piercing my clit, but i need to know& if it´s worth the suffering or not. also if there are serious consecuences.& if& someone has it pierced, tell me how it feels, what it`s like, or& anything important. thanks for everything TETS:dude:& 2005-07-07 19:27:34
54 307 Hi, Please see the following page that is in Spanish: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/spanish/html/s_piercing.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/spanish/html/s_piercing.htm In English see: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/piercing.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/piercing.htm Brad 2005-07-07 22:41:24
54 309 I have never really thought about gential pericing although I have thought about nipple pericing.... Any how after reading this forum and what brad posted I am interested in learning more and more about it seems sort of fun and errotic 2005-07-08 01:54:28
54 314 ok thanks! 2005-07-08 23:14:50
55 306 Hello all, I am new here... I am a 24 year old sexually active female, although I have had few partners I find sex, masturbation and oral sex fun and exciting and enjoy it when I am with someone I really care about. Recently I have started seeing a guy a couple years older than me and I am beginning to feel that I don't have a right to be shy about my body. Yet I am and I can't help it nor can I control how I feel... I know I am a beautiful person inside and out that's not the problem my issue is I don't know how to experess things sometimes. I really like this person and enjoy his company and although we haven't had sex we have touched and stuff. He made me feel good but I find alot of the time with guys when they are using fore play or touching they tend to be rough, which turns me off and I am not sure how to explain it to them. I like gentle and soft it keeps me sexually aroused so much longer, when I masterbate I can go for hours and cum over and over again yet with guys I just don't feel as good most of the time. I feel like I am inadaquet and part of that is my shyness I know but part of it is that very few men can get me aroused and keep me there.... or maybe it's just a matter of finding the right man. It's strange because I have talked to a few online about this and I can get and stay aroused for hours and cum several times. Just the other night for example I talked to a guy about my age and he taught me a totally new concept to me called juicing/squirting/female ejaculation, I had so much fun with it and it felt so good and I continued for hours to stimulate my body and cum and squirt over and over again. Why can't I achive this same thing when I am with a guy... I am also fairly cirous about toys but am too shy to go and buy them...... :( Help Please:) & Princess241981 2005-07-07 21:51:26
55 315 Hello and welcome to the group. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Firstly, you dont seam to have a problem expressing what you need to keep you stimulated and aroused to us on here. You explained very well how you dont need rough handling but soft sensous touches. Am I correct? The main part of really intense pleasurable sex is communicating from both sides. Talking is a huge part of this and being able to listen to what your partner likes as well. Quite a few people experience a different type of pleasure through masterbating than with having sex with a partner. One is not better or worse than the other in many instances just different. Try talking with this new guy. Sit down with him somewhere neutral and discuss things that you like and ask if there is anything that he likes and enjoys that you dont know about yet. You are a great typer and expressing yourself that way could be a good plan. I myself have had great success communicating what I want from a lover online through just generally chatting. They cant see you become embarrassed and as the conversation grows so does your braveness and you will say things through typing that perhaps sitting in front of a person you would not bring yourself to spit out the words. I have found that I could be more open and blunt so there was no confusion on things that I wanted or needed at the time. Try it - it works :) Princess 2005-07-09 15:08:19
55 316 Princess, & Thank you for your response.... We have done the chatting online to some extent about certin things that are hard to communicate about in person. Were slowly working on it... But it's just a casual relationship and I am not sure I can be intitmit to the point of intercourse in that type of realtionship and I just hope he can except that. & & 2005-07-10 11:59:58
55 318 Hi there, It is important to set clear boundries then if it is not going to follow on into a sexual friendship. You need to be quite clear about this I feel. Glad you are able to communicate with him. Just set out clear points as to what is off limits. Princess :) 2005-07-10 17:49:55
55 322 Thanks, Yeah I have been clear.... In fact I don't think we have much of a relationship at all which is too bad since he's a nice guy but that's okay... We can be freinds... Seems I am at the age where no matter what I do guys are chasing me any how.... LOL I know sounds concited but that's not how it's supposed to sound.... & & 2005-07-10 21:01:24
55 325 I too enjoy masturbation quite frequently, too much sometimes, lol.& My libido seems to get more out of control with each year that goes by.& And yes sometimes having an orgasm while masturbating is more pleasurable than having sex with my man.& But I also wouldn't replace it with that warm body on top of mine, his smell, deep groans, etc.& (you get the point).& But there are ways to get that same orgasm or close to it with your partner, but they have to be patient and understanding as well.& I have actually found with him hitting my gspot in a certain position I can "squirt" much quicker than when I do it myself.& and he totally gets off on it also.& & 2005-07-11 00:02:57
55 326 you can buy toys online also if going into a store embaresses you. 2005-07-11 00:03:35
56 312 Hello, im new here and also im new to sex, and what im wondering if i have sex while my vagina is kinda irritated if it'd hurt? 'cause i really want to be with my boyfriend and i dunno if its bad to have sex like this 'cause its not that bad the irritation, thanks! 2005-07-08 19:34:54
56 313 What kind of irritation? Is it an infection, or just from dryness? If it's from an infection, you may want to refrain from penetration. Certain kinds of infections can be recurring because the microorganisms stay on the penis. If it's not from an infection, you can give it a try and see how it feels. 2005-07-08 22:48:13
57 327 hey all....some help would be cool. been seeing a girl for about a month now, shes 18 im 20, ive been brought up encouraged to have sex, shes been a devote catholic until recently.& My sexual history is quite active, while she had only even kissed two other guys before me. So anyways....we had sex about a week back.& I tried in ernest to discuss things with her, she assured me she was okay but i could tell something was up.& Came out eventually she felt she wasnt ready for it all.& As frustrating as it is for me (she& was just as keen for things as me)& im more then happy to wait for her, shes the first girl& I have actually& cared about.& but non the less, sex has become how you express your feelings for a person to me, more then just sport fucking, and its a fair drag.& some advice on how to win her confidence? i guess that is what im after but it would& also be ace to hear other thoughts on& the situation.& I dont wanna push her at all, just convince her its all okay. 2005-07-11 01:29:46
57 328 well i was raised in a pretty strict christian home.& I however rebelled against it, so I haven't ever taken any of their bull to heart.& But realize that a "first" for a girl is so different then a first for a guy.& My first broke my heart, he didn't realize how much I got hooked on him.& just give her time, if its only been a month and this was her first time, she probably doesn't know yet how great it can feel with someone who cares and takes the time to make it really awesome.& the first time is either really akward or painful, depends on the girl.& keep communication open, tell her how great it was for you but that you can wait if she needs more time. 2005-07-11 01:35:46
57 329 thanks for taking the time:)& does help alot.... 2005-07-11 01:41:37
57 373 Hi... Just one question, did she enjoy it? I think for many girls it's quite a shock the first time how far sex is from what she sees in movies and stuff. Just ask! If she's embarassed find a way around it, by asking no/yes questions. I think your best bet here is to get her to relax with u first and then get her excited without the prospect of sex. Maybe fondling and sexplay somewhere or at some time where sex is improbable. Very likely with time, all that sexual build up will make her ask for it. But you have to find out WHY she's not ready, knowing that she's not wont get u far, but with why she's not, u have something to work on... 2005-07-30 13:41:47
58 333 I am a young woman who is interested in the pros and cons of shaving and waxing - brazilian or other styles - I have had a look at [url=www.shave4fem.co.uk] www.shave4fem.co.uk which seems to contain some interesting links.& But it would be good to see if there are any comments to be made here? Thanks Shaver 2005-07-13 08:15:12
58 334 Hi, There is a lot of advise and shared info on the page linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/shaving.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/shaving.htm Brad 2005-07-13 10:16:08
59 345 My wife and I enjoy her lying face down on the bed w/pillows under her stomach (raising her ass) while I lick her add and finger her.& I insert 1 or 2 fingers until I hit her G-spot...and gently push towards her stomach...normally I just masturbate while she cums...any suggestions to positions where I can lick her ass, finger her and allow her to access me? 2005-07-16 14:43:34
59 346 69 it!& have her on top of you, ass in your face, you have all access to her, plus the added bonus of her sucking you off!& its a wonderful position.& you might have to lift your head a little bit or prop your head up to reach the butt hole, but its still a great way to pleasure eachother at the same time.;) 2005-07-17 03:11:03
60 347 I dont know if anyone here has tried one of these, but if you haven't you got to. its called a liberator.& or you can get the smaller version called the "wedge".& its a triangle shaped pillow, but its a very hard foam.& if you lay it down and lay your woman's stomach over the highest end it puts her in the most perfect position.& there are so many other ways to use it, and i felt so silly buying it at the "naughty store", but i'm glad i did. 2005-07-17 03:14:29
61 348 Hello there, I have only had two partners in my life, one guy who only wanted to have sex until he climaxed, but never allowed me to have an orgasm, and my husband. My husband is amazing in bed.& He has no problem bringing me to an orgasm, but as soon as I climax, I need the lovemaking to stop.& There is some kind of irritation feeling which gets even worse when my husband ejaculates.& It will just burn like crazy.& The same thing will happen if he fingers me.& I will come to an orgasm and then have to beg him to stop because it hurts too much. My husband has also mentioned that it feels different inside of me.& He says the fluid seems to be thicker or stickier than anything he's used to, and it's gotten to a point where he just can't enjoy having sex anymore. We've been married for almost five years, and I don't know what to do.& We've tested his semen for an elevated Ph, and the result is negative.& Neither of us have any STD's.& He hates that he is hurting me, but he's also scared to try anything because it could hurt worse.& & The result is that we have sex maybe once every few months.& Has anyone else experienced this, or could you give me some input? 2005-07-18 11:05:18
61 349 Hi interesting question...you didn't mention how old are you, when we get older our hormonal makeup changes and it may be your problem, I experienced drynes of the vaginal wall and it is possible that the lubricants get thicker and help to create abration and the pain is unbearable; my opinion is to visit a good gyno and talk about your problem because it is more common than you think. It looks to me that your vaginal wall is getting raw with the friction and it is like a skin burn. Have you tried KY jelly and a comdom, it will eliminate semen acidity and help with the dryness. Good luck hugs and kisses Luisa;) 2005-07-18 14:37:01
61 350 I'm still young at 27.& I don't really like the idea of condoms because to me it eliminates the spontonaeity.& But thank you for your input. 2005-07-18 22:29:14
61 351 Hi, Do you experience the same discomfort when you masturbate to orgasm? Do you experience discomfort during sexual arousal? You could be allergic to his ejaculate. That subject is addressed on the following page: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_12.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_8/qa8_12.htm You should also have your doctor check your vagina pH to see if there is a problem. You may need to test it during sex too. Brad 2005-07-18 22:31:20
61 352 Hi,,,,the suggestion of using a comdom is only& for a couple of times& just& to narrow the causes, if you find any difference just follow that path. I do agree comdoms take away the fun& love Luisa 2005-07-19 21:44:39
61 353 Hello and welcome to our group :) Firstly, let me say that you are not alone and there are a couple of things you can do to empower yourself. Thrush can manifest itself at anytime. Basically it is a yeast inbalance within the vagina and vulva. Sometimes the slightest thing could set this inbalance off. From wearing nylon based material underwear, to eating startchy foods. It varies from woman to woman. Because our hormones are rapidly changing all the time, it is difficult to gage if a thrush based inbalanced has started to occur, unless one experiences the problems you detailed. Readily available from Chemists or Pharmacy's, you can buy a Canesten Once treatment cream. There is an applicator in the box which allows you to fill one end with cream, then deposit it deep within the vagina. Then you can apply some more cream to the outer lips and the vulva area too. It always helps if you apply some of the cream to the pubic hair region too and go down towards your inner thighs just incase if it is your own persperation setting this burning off. The only thing, you will need to buy 2 tubes of cream. One for you which is the Canesten Once cream with the applicator, and another Canesten cream tube for your husband to apply four times a day all around and under his forskin, pubic hair region, and in particular, around the head and rim of his penis. In the past, years ago, I was given this cream by my doctor and used it with success. BUT as soon as my Partner and I started making love again, the burning continued. Then somebody told me about men having to use this cream as well as the bacteria lives on their skin completely undetected with some men. But then rears its ugly head again when we have sex. I understand completely what you are going through and it is horrible. I felt alone when it was us and was convinced there was something wrong with me and that my Partner would look else where. He didnt and we sorted it out fairly quickly. He couldnt stand the thought of hurting me in that way or causing me any discomfort and so eventually became slightly impotent because of this experience. Another problem which disappeared with confidence and practice :) The other thing to try is not using any deoderising products to wash between your legs when you bath. Try Patchuli essential oil 4 drops in your bath water and do not use soap. Try a natural coconut oil based shower or body gel instead. You dont need to use anything to wash the vaginal lips or inside just your normal bath water with the Patchuli oil mixed in with it. Diet is important. Make sure you include some natural live greek yoghurt somewhere. Even if it is a couple of spoonfuls on some bran based cereal in the mornings. This will make all the difference. Also, cut down on caffine especially from coffee. I hope this helps and please let me know how you get on. When making love, the object does not need to include an orgasm. You mention that after you orgasm this happens where you get the burning sensation? Try heavy petting for a while without either of you climaxing. Give each other a massage and be gentle and loving together. Simply enjoy each other's bodies. This will not only keep you close, but will build up both of your confidences too with each other. I do understand how devistating this experience can be, but in the end you have all the time in the world. Just relax, enjoy each other and once you have let some time pass without penetration or orgasm, both of you will be ready again. Also one more point, when your husband stimulates you, especially with his mouth, try to not let him use his saliva on your vagina if he has been drinking alcahol. This sets me off with burning after I orgasm. If I think of anything else I have tried I will come back again All the best Princess :) 2005-07-20 07:46:18
61 482 I had that sort of pain when i was pregnant. My husband kept wanting to have sex all the time but it just hurt too bad. So we didnt have sex alot. Have you tried anal sex? It is very stimulating. 2005-09-01 22:11:00
61 508 I found out right before I got married that my mom is allergic to semen and other fluids including some of her own. So I don't think sex was as pleasurable for her towards the end. Maybe that is a possibility for you. you should check and see 2005-09-08 22:34:04
62 357 so yeah....tell me anything!& i wanna learn, i wanna be the best i can be.& Gimme tips, start to finish stories, me no care, just wanna learn more about this cos i just LOVE making my girl happy. At the moment i will give it ofcourse, but as i find it hard as she is yet to shave (promised me she will cos im find it a little off putting and definately makes it harader) and as my hands are somewhat skilled its usually the fingers that do the job.& From what i can gather my prick and my fingers can never be as good as a well used tongue, so yeah.& teach me:) 2005-07-22 06:08:25
62 363 well then...46 views and nothing...:( 2005-07-24 03:05:23
62 365 Hi, You might ask her to trim rather than shave, razor burn is no fun.& She might like it if you trimmed or shaved yourself first. Have you seen the advise given on the website? [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/howto.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/howto.htm Keep in mind each woman is unique so you need to experiment and communicate with her to find out what works best for& her. There is no easy answer. You must invest some time and effort to find the answer. At yesterday's presentation on cunnilingus Nina Hartley gave some very specific instructions on what to do, but as I expected, a woman I was talking to afterwards said the suggested technique would be painful rather than pleasurable for her. Brad 2005-07-24 22:41:50
62 366 cheers mate...all about the practice i suppose but yeah im more then happy to loose my hair....almsot keen to actually, still good ideas and ill check out teh link 2005-07-25 09:30:20
62 1079 :X& If she is aware that you are put off by her pubic hair,that might cause her to be reluctant to let you try. You should just Love her and accept her the way she is. Hair and all.:D 2006-01-23 22:31:10
62 1081 well, if she shaves other parts of her body for cosmetic reasons, she ought to be willing at the very least to trim her pubic hair close even if she doesnt want to take it all the way down to the skin. 2006-01-23 23:28:46
62 1082 *chuckle* & the thing is, it kinda stops me doing it, its not that i dont like her the way she is, but im constantly choking on hair and i cant get access to it easily making it hard and much less enjoyable im sure its like im a chauvanist, i would return the favour if she wanted without hesitation & but yes im learning all about what each girl likes, one girl iwas with a little lately loved how i was doing it, the girl i am kinda seeing now found it painful and i had to change, its different from woman to woman, but thanks for your advice:) 2006-01-24 00:19:31
62 1086 I wouldn't mind trimming mine but I wouldn't want to shave it off, no thanks. I spend more than enough time de-fuzzing other parts just to live up to societies expectations without adding even more to it. It gets to the point where you just feel like a slave. 2006-01-24 11:35:45
62 1087 interesting perspective, thanks for that:) i know how you feel, im losing my body hair fro my job, sucks, lol 2006-01-24 17:31:57
62 1088 Yeah, shaving legs, arm pits and bikini line are already a chore that wastes too much of my time as it is and a few hours after shaving, you feel like sandpaper again they grow back so fast and I am not having waxes done and all the rest, no chance. I don't like the idea of going bare down there, I like to keep my pubes. I'll trim them no problem but not shaving them off for anyone. If a bloke doesn't like my pubes. TUFF!!!!!:P I wouldn't ask a bloke to shave his pubes off either. 2006-01-24 18:28:19
62 1089 is it it fair enough then in your opinion that i shave if asked to? 2006-01-24 18:31:34
63 358 I absolutely love giving my fiance blow jobs, but 7 out of 10 times he doesn't cum.& To me, there is nothing better than receiving and swallowing his sperm; it is the greatest thank you I could receive.& He has told me numerous times that there is nothing wrong with my technique,that it DOES feel really good, but after an hour, my jaw starts to lock up.& If anyone knows why this& might be& happening, please, I would like to know. Thanks 2005-07-23 08:23:35
63 359 We don't want to give up the moment.& Once you cum you will& stop.& Please don't stop is my answer.& This is one of the greatest joys a man can ever have.:dude: 2005-07-24 01:47:16
63 364 Hi, It is unlikely about you. Men are only human. There can be numerous reasons; that he has recently ejaculated so has nothing to give, simply doesn't desire too,& at the time is insensitive to oral stimulation, or is unable to surrender control at the time. If you place too much pressure on him he may experience performance anxiety and this can prevent ejaculation as well. If he is on medication like an antidepressant that can impair orgasm too. I just got back from a convention that porn star and sex educator Nina Hartley gave a presentations/demonstrations on cunnilingus and fellatio. She had an agreement with her ex-husband that she would& perform fellatio& any time he wanted, as long as he came within& ten minutes,& that was her limit, because her jaws started to ache; she also can't deep throat, her limit is about 6 inches,& and values her gag reflex more than her desire to be able to perform this sexual act. So even experts have their limits, as do their partners. So don't& perform fellatio to the point it is unpleasant for you; it probably isn't fun for him at that point too. Nina tells the men to masturbate on her tits if they cannot ejaculate within a time appropriate for her. You might value the times he does ejaculate in your mouth rather than there frequency. If he can only do it once& a month then see it as a special reward rather than as a poor reflection on your abilities and attractiveness/desirability. If it happens& less often& it should be valued more, like Christmas. If there is a problem with technique, the way to find out is by watching his reactions, and simply by pausing to ask. Nina said if he is hard you are doing something right. You might find approval in the erection and pleasure you give him rather than the ejaculate he gives you. Brad 2005-07-24 22:31:11
64 367 I was just curious if using a viberator to often can damage the clitoris. It seems i have lost the sensitivity. Is there a means of repairing what i have done ? 2005-07-25 21:43:12
64 369 It's not damaged, more like desensitized.& Either cut back your use of your vibrator or maybe get one that is less powerful.& I have noticed the same thing before, and it actually made it hard to orgasm during sex, it didn't matter how hard we had sex, it didn't feel like it was enough.& Try cutting back for a few days (depending on how often you use it) and see if it helps.& your clit should become very sensitive if you leave it alone for just a bit.& I have found it to be very difficult so I just choose carefully when I might want to use my vibrator or if sex will be ideal instead.& :P& good luck 2005-07-26 00:20:44
64 371 [user=148]simplegirl1970[/user] wrote: "I was just curious if using a viberator to often can damage the clitoris. It seems i have lost the sensitivity. Is there a means of repairing what i have done ?" I also find that stimulating everywhere else around the vulva and vagina first helps. Build up and resist touching the clitoris area at all with the vibrator for at least ten minutes. Then the build up to orgasm with the vibrator when you eventually touch your clitoris will be ..... well lets just say brilliant :) Much more fun than a quick couple of minutes fix on the clitoris alone :) Princess 2005-07-29 15:12:56
65 368 It's not a wart or herpie for starters.I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year and a couple of months ago she grew tiny bumps that are kind of like a cyst on the inside of her vagina. Thier aren't a lot of them only a few and was wondering what are the possible diagnosis's for something like that.They never noticed at plan parent.They aren't sore or anything and I cant see them,they can only be felt. Thank you 2005-07-25 23:00:24
66 372 hey, I am 24f and only a few months ago I learned to masturbate to orgasm with a vibrator and then with my hand. Now I orgasm during sex with help from my hand :dude: ... but am finding masturbating harder, before it used to take 10 min, now it's 20 minutes with the ocasional painful cramp in my leg! I was just wondering what do the other women here do to stimulate themselves before/during masturbation other than the obvious manual stimulation, I am talking about fantasy or porn... Personal porn really gets me excited but I cant get my bf to always agree to filming! Regular porn does nothing! Boring and fake! Any ideas :?? 2005-07-30 13:22:16
66 376 He absolutely refuses to make a video w/ you?& Well, there are other porn videos that aren't done as well, they look more like voyeur videos, kinda hot.& I enjoy porn in general.& Doesn't really matter what i am looking at.& Other ways of stimulation....hmm.....its amazing the strange things that go thru my head when I am masturbating.& Sometimes I picture my fiance having sex w/ me and a stranger joining in.& Normally in life I wouldn't be ok w/ this.& But in fantasy land it gets me excited.& But if personal porno really gets you going and he isn't wanting it then maybe you can make him understand how hot it makes you watching him doing you. 2005-08-02 02:15:46
66 377 Thanks for the tip :) thing is i like looking at men's bodies while they're screwing, it really makes me hot and the thing with most porn is that the focus is almost always on the woman or should I say women (its rarely one ;)) and that doesnt do much for me And my poor bf, no he does agree, I've already made a small collection but I am greedy and always want more, and I can see it gets on his nerves Now if only I could find porn targeted for women and not gay... Men's faces and bodies during sex are so mmmmm.... 2005-08-02 12:42:25
66 379 yeah i know what you mean, I have bought a few porn movies that have 5 or six guys going on one girl so I do get to watch the guys bodies and faces as they screw her.& I do agree that watching that is way better than watching two girls on one guy.& So for my personal collection it usually includes a larger number of guys on one girl (that's my thing).& our personal collection as a couple is a mixture of two girls and one guy, girl on girl, or the old fashioned (lol) one girl one guy.& you sound a lot like me as far as fantasy world and porn goes.& so you bf has agreed to do a few movies for you, that's cool. 2005-08-02 22:24:56
66 487 i think you should talk to your bf.I'm sure he will accept to make more movies if he loves you.Try to be serious about that and you'll get what you want. 2005-09-03 04:35:13
66 492 [user=207]coololver76[/user] wrote: "i think you should talk to your bf.I'm sure he will accept to make more movies if he loves you.Try to be serious about that and you'll get what you want." Hi, I would be very careful about using the "he should do it if he loves you" type of speech when speaking to any man. It sounds like blackmail. Again, being filmed on video is an extremely emotive thing for some people. He may not want to do it because in years to come, if anything should happen and the relationship ends, there will be a video of himself in that way. Even in a serious relationship and even marriage before, I would never allow anyone to film me during sex or even take a photograph. I have since then allowed this to happen but only because things have changed for me and I feel wholely secure now. It took years for me to feel ok with that though. Pushing someone into something they just simply do not want to do is a mistake. The more someone pushes, it could have a negative effect on the relationship. Talking about how you feel about making the video will help but the decision as to whether he wants to do one will be his and he should not be pushed into making this decision. It should happen naturally. Perhaps if you tried viewing porn together and pointing out why the ones you can obtain do nothing for you and what you would prefer may help. Princess 2005-09-03 09:01:22
66 493 Hi have you thought about writing down some ideas for porn for women and sending them into a company who makes films? They are always on the look out for fresh ideas and to hear what people actually want rather than just churning out the usual stuff. Think about it and let me know how you get on Princess [user=153]Kay[/user] wrote: "Thanks for the tip :) thing is i like looking at men's bodies while they're screwing, it really makes me hot and the thing with most porn is that the focus is almost always on the woman or should I say women (its rarely one ;)) and that doesnt do much for me And my poor bf, no he does agree, I've already made a small collection but I am greedy and always want more, and I can see it gets on his nerves Now if only I could find porn targeted for women and not gay... Men's faces and bodies during sex are so mmmmm...." 2005-09-03 09:04:55
66 494 I find a good masturbation aid is simply panties...when they get very wet you get to rub your panties back and forth by the fron part of the slit of your pussy until you orgasm...a partner can do this also...but has anyone else masturbate using their panties? Melissa & 2005-09-03 22:50:53
66 501 For me the easiest way to orgasm through masturbation is if i'm reading something that turns me on. What people would call soft porn or really good romance novels. It turns me on just enough to use one of my toys and orgasm within minutes. Before I could do it in 30 seconds or less....unfortunately those days are almost over unless im soooooo turned on I just need to be touched :D Although i'm not a fan of most of the porn out there, watching or reading about "real couples" including my DH and I is was does it for me 2005-09-07 22:50:15
66 504 Wow...how did you used to orgasm in 30 seconds? Was that only when you masturbated or also when you had intercourse? Melissa 2005-09-08 00:26:13
66 510 I masturbate a lot.& And I have sex a lot.& My libido these last couple years is crazy out of control.& my poor fiance is probably worn out, but that is also why i masturbate sometimes, because I am so horny.& But i too can masturbate to orgasm very quickly if needed.& Sometimes I use toys, sometimes I dont.& I do it all sorts of different ways.& w/ my fingers, toys, rubbing on something else feels great.& But i have always done this since I was little so its very strange for me not to do this daily.& And we have sex daily as well.& I am 29 and have 2 children, I just feel like I am a very sexual person. 2005-09-09 00:43:09
66 522 30 seconds!!! impressive Thx for the tips and I like the idea of sending porn companies tips :) I am also horny alot, always was, and almost never not in the mood for sex but that doesn't make me come quickly, I still have alot to learn since I only became orgasmic 7 or 8 months ago. It feels right now as a mind game, I have to get my head to stop thinking and enjoy the moment then I can come in minutes but that's easier said than done :? Once I go down the "Am I taking too long?" path, the fun part disappears and when I orgasm it's not that satisfying so I end up even more horny. Did anyone who started orgasming as an adult go through this? 2005-09-12 15:05:03
67 374 Hey,& I have only & recently joined this forum ( hi guys and gals )..& i have a problem i& need some help with..& the girl& I have been going out with for some time now whom& I have never had sex with. Asked me if she could practice oral sex on me which& I would enjoy immensely. But it is& is making me uncomfortable for multiple reasons. the first reason is that she said practice& I don't know if& I am thinking to much but doesn't practice mean your doing something to get better when you do& it for something more important. so & wouldn't that mean she is practicing on me for someone else.. but& I don't want to ask her about it since that would have me sounding like& I don't trust her enough. even though i trust her with my life& I& have a& bad feeling about it.& the other reason is that if she isn't doing it for someone else then she is doing it for me, and& I am afraid that she doesn't want to do it but feels somehow that giving me oral would make me like her more, which isn't true at all this is the first person that& I have ever truly& cared about and& I& to put it simply i just love being in her company and being with her but& having her feel that way would really upset me..& i would never ask her& to do anything like this for me... and& I& just want to make her& happy& so please, if you have any advice that you could give me& I would truly appreciate it Thanks.. Eric 2005-07-31 15:28:03
67 375 I think you are reading too much into this.& If you look up the word "practice" in the dictionary it isn't the meaning you would think of.& it actually says:& " To do or perform habitually or customarily; make a habit of".& She wants to perform it on you often, not practice to be better w/ someone else.& Besides I "practiced" on my boyfriend for a good year and we have learned so many new things doing it.& 2005-08-02 02:10:24
67 378 Wow! I've used the word 'practice' alot in this very context and never thought about it this way... My guess is that she meant to ask in a flirty cute way. If she asked to do it, then that probably means she wants to, and she said practice probably bec she wanted to give you a hint that she thinks she's not that great yet and wants to be! If she really didnt like it, she would've just asked to do it then and there to get the thing over with... and from what u say, she didnt! 2005-08-02 12:54:55
67 383 I don’t know how long you have been together already, but after your explanation it seems to me that she wants sex and can not wait any longer till you ask her doing it. Hence she ask you indirectly with a certain reserve in order to direct your relationship on the right path. Women expect men to do the first step and they don't consider that many men do not have (like women themselves don’t have too) the courage to ask first. 2005-08-06 03:34:03
67 393 Wow!!!!& Couldn't have said it better Ant. 2005-08-07 10:48:19
68 380 I was reading about hands free masturbation, and was wondering, do any of the women who said they do it find your jeans get very wet or your panties get very& sticky and wet? 2005-08-02 23:22:48
68 381 & Hi Melissa, yes my jeans or shorts get very wet specialy the seam that get inside my vulva. love and kisses Luisa :D & 2005-08-02 23:32:36
70 386 Here's a question for the ladies... Do you experience the need to pee after having an orgasm? And if so, does this happen every time? My wife& always has to pee after we have sex even though she has emptied her bladder just prior to us starting up (unless of course I ambush her in the kitchen or somewhere unexpected and don't allow her the opportunity ). And it also seems that the more intense and satisfying her orgasm, the more volume there is to void. I'm wondering if this might be the result of what I've read described as a "retrograde ejaculation" where a woman ejaculates but instead of it coming out through her urethra it goes the other way because she has suppressed it out of fear of wetting herself. We've never actually analysed the contents of her "post-coital" pee; never even discussed it really. I'm just curious how common this is for other women and why you think this might be so. 2005-08-06 15:25:08
70 389 Hi Sadi...according to your question what I think is happening is that your wife is "squirting", when we got aroused there are a set of glands around the urethra that produces fluids and some women produce& more than others and they fluids a re expelled at the time of the orgasm; I will suggest that next time you have sex get her to empty her bladder before and put a couple of towels in the bed and encourage her to let the "pee" goo when she get her orgasm. In reality it is no pee it is her squirting, the liqquid should be kind of clear and semi sticky and it is kind of saline a little. love and good luck kisses Luisa 2005-08-06 17:48:12
70 413 I dont know about pee or squirting but almost always I pee after sex... maybe it's because of all that bumping and pressure? 2005-08-09 12:54:17
70 414 Hello sometimes if a woman drinks a lot of tea or coffee during up to four hours before having sex this can be a problem. As can alcahol consumed right up to four hours or so beforehand. It is a combination of the internal organs calming down their performace during orgasm and then starting up again afterwards. Like the large and small intestine for example. Also, try different positions. The laying on the back one does squash the kidneys from time to time and then after an orgasm the woman will want to pee because the kidneys have been emptied. Just a thought and I hope some of that helps Princess :) 2005-08-09 14:02:02
71 387 This is probably an unusual problem. I am in my early 30s, married to a woman of another race. In my culture, pre-marital sex is very rare, so my wife is my first and only. That doesnt mean that I havent fantasised. ;). For the longest time, I have fantasised about performing oral sex to a woman: and this is my greatest fantasy. I want to pleasure a woman through oral sex. Unfortunately my wife does not like to receive oral sex, and she wont talk about why. I am not sure if, the only time i tried, i was so bad that she doesnt want that to happen again. I have tried variety of ways to get her interested, but to no avail. I have often wondered if my lack of experience is off-putting. If so, what are my options? I know that there are books, etc, but how do& I get better if I do not have an opportunity to put theory into practice? The best bet would to be a willing practice-mate or some kind of school! :?& But is that even possible? How would you approach someone and say 'Hey, I can perform oral sex on you? Could you rate me? and maybe help me get better so that my wife will enjoy this more?' :D We have been married for over 3 years, and love each other a lot. This is causing a friction in the relationship (me wanting to perform oral sex on her, and she not letting me do it). I am at a loss as to what to do. Any advice? :shock: My ideal situation would be to perform oral sex AT LEAST once a day (I want it so much, it hurts). Your thoughts are appreciated. 2005-08-06 16:24:07
71 388 I assume the both of you aren't experienced with giving and receiving oral stimulation. Maybe she didn't like it when you tried it the first time, maybe that's why she won't let you try again. But this doesn't mean you made a mistake or you need to practise before you good enough to do it on her. From my (little) experience I'd say: As long as she doesn't like the idea she won't enjoy it, no matter how good you are. Move in small steps, tiny steps. Maybe she likes you kissing her (without tongue) down their. Then do this and nothing further for some time. Think "make her feel good" not "make her have an orgasm"... HTH 2005-08-06 17:37:53
71 391 [user=164]eager2learnwell[/user] wrote: "I want it so much, it hurts." Tell her that while looking sweetly in her eyes and stroking gently the inner sides of her thighs. May be it works. 2005-08-07 04:47:04
71 392 Eager, & That's a tough situation especially because she will not talk to you about it. It certainly could be that you did not perform well. If it were unpleasant to her she may not want to hurt your feelings. The question I have is, does she give you oral sex? I know many women who will not give if they don't get and many women who don't want to receive because they don't want to give. 2005-08-07 10:31:56
71 394 [user=8]Ant[/user] wrote: "Tell her that while looking sweetly in her eyes and stroking gently the inner sides of her thighs. May be it works." & I have already tried that, but that goes no where! 2005-08-07 11:08:33
71 395 [user=167]monkey0588[/user] wrote: "The question I have is, does she give you oral sex? I know many women who will not give if they don't get and many women who don't want to receive because they don't want to give. " & yes, she does if I ask her to. I dont ask often, because I feel guilty about not being able to reciprocate. 2005-08-07 11:09:31
71 419 Hello eager2learnwell and welcome to the group :) You raise some interesting points but from reading this thread, I feel that both of you have a communication problem not necessarily a sexual one. I am also wondering why you mention that your wife is of a differnt race to you? Sorry if that sounds a little harsh, but she is a beautiful woman and your wife, so why mention that part. I dont understand. My Partner is black but when I talk about him I dont initially say anything like that. Does your wife have a culture where oral sex and showing the vulva is deemed as dirty shameful or wrong? Have you tried masturbating by watching each other? Does your wife enjoy you looking between her legs? If the answer to the above last two questions is no, then you have some confidence building to do with her. Looking at her intimately with adoration in your heart will reflect in your eyes and you will become aroused. I am sure you do anyway when you look at her. But gently touching her whilst looking and making her aware that you love what you see may be a trigger for you to gently try kissing around the pubic area, inner thighs and buttocks. Try this first without going anywhere near her vulvar area or attempting oral sex. After a few tries at this if she is well relaxed and comfortably aroused, try letting your lips gently brush past her vulvar area when moving from one inner thigh to the other. Princess Brad's Note: Please use correct terminology here, the external genitals are called the vulva not the vagina. 2005-08-09 16:48:10
71 425 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "I am also wondering why you mention that your wife is of a differnt race to you? Sorry if that sounds a little harsh, but she is a beautiful woman and your wife, so why mention that part. I dont understand. My Partner is black but when I talk about him I dont initially say anything like that. " & Princess -- Good question. The reason I mentioned is was to give the viewer a sense of where my problems might be. I come from a very conservative culture, whereas she doesnt. Could I have just said that, instead of mentioning race? Probably, but I wanted whoever would attempt to help me to have all the facts. You might notice that I did not mention either of our races. Being from different races does have a small impact on how people approach things, I believe. Not necessarily right or wrong, but different. IMO. I did not intend that as a problem or an issue, but just as a benign fact.& :)& Another benign fact is that I am about 15 years younger than her. To answer your other questions, I have never seen her private parts. She is too shy to let me do that. Have we mastrubated with each other watching - she has seen me do it, and even helps me do it at times, but I havent seen her do it. In fact, I dont think she ever mastrubates. I am sure all this is as baffling to you as it is to you. Thanks for your help and advise 2005-08-10 17:10:41
71 427 Have you asked your wife why she's not interested in oral sex? Maybe a good place to get started is to ask her what sexual activities she does enjoy, and from there move on to what things she might want improved. 2005-08-12 21:53:56
71 548 Dear eager...Wow!& It's hard to believe you've never seen your wife's vulva before.& Maybe she was raised that oral sex was dirty. I don't recommend forcing her.& It took me about 1 year before my boyfriend talked me into it.& & I could not even visualize it.& He finally convinced me, and that was the greatest pleasure I've known.& You are going to have to be patient.& The only thing about my situation, I used to let my boyfriend& touch me.& He liked looking at my vulva.& I used to let him rub my clit until I orgasmed.& I also used to masturbate for him.& The only& thing that was missing was the oral sex.& He used to get right& down by my vulva.& He would even explain how he was going to do it.& He had me open my legs& like I was a diagram.& He would say things like,& "instead of rubbing your clit with my finger, I'll be using my tongue.& I will lick here and kiss there, etc."& I do have to say he was very inventive to come up with that whole scenario. After about a year of explaining the diagram, I finally let him.& Good luck to you.& It seems like you have a long way to go. Brad's Note: Please use correct terminolgy when posting here, the external genitals are called the vulva, not the vagina. 2005-09-17 16:01:22
71 555 Brad& wrote: "Brad's Note: Please use correct terminolgy when posting here, the external genitals are called the vulva, not the vagina. " & Sorry Brad.& Did it ever occur to you that I meant the other "V" word?& Also, I suggest you write notes to all those you used the "P" word for a women's private part, and used "butt hole" instead of anus. Again, sorry for the misuse of a correct term for a woman's body part. Cheers. 2005-09-18 13:30:23
71 556 Hi, The vagina is inside and cannot be seen without the use of a specula, etc. If you can see it with your naked eye then it is the vulva. External is the vulva, internal is vagina. Sorry, this a pet peeve of mine. Slang terms are permitted. Brad 2005-09-18 17:22:17
72 390 Are women aroused by the sight of a male penis/male sexual organs or do they find them gross? All women are different, obviously, but what about the women here? 2005-08-07 02:09:52
72 396 Hi good question..women get aroused different that men becasue we always treat sex as something more affective than physical, meaning that we create an afdfective bond before getting aroused; there is an old saying that says that "women look at the man's eyes and men look at the girls tits". Do not take bad it is the way that we are built...women are selective by nature in order to get the best partner to porcreate and we can not afford to get aroused like men...all the penis are beautiful and there no two the& same and also the size is second to other things. No penis is gross unless it shows a diseaase or dirty.....kisses Luisa 2005-08-07 13:08:00
72 399 I agree with Luisa on this one... no penis is gross unless it has a disease or dirty. I find it very arousing when I start kissing the guy and then he has an erection in his pants. I think just knowing I'm turning him on gets me going.& 2005-08-07 22:16:48
72 408 For me the penis itself does not evoke any particular emotion. The way I feel about a penis depends on the way I feel about the man. 2005-08-09 00:33:59
72 412 I guess some women are, I personally find the penis whether errect or not and the testicles very arousing, shaved or hairy, and I also like looking at pictures of penises especially in porn! actually I love just playing around with it when it's still not erect but that never lasts long ;) 2005-08-09 12:41:36
72 415 [user=166]callmep[/user] wrote: "Are women aroused by the sight of a male penis/male sexual organs " yes :) Princess 2005-08-09 16:08:38
72 524 I don't hink a penis is gross, but I also wouldnt& call it beautiful, but yes, it arouses me. It fells like some instinct deep inside of me - I dont really like it, but I still cant stop looking. 2005-09-13 13:53:23
73 397 I once heard that too much masterbation (or starting too young, etc) can cause damaged g-spot nerve endings and make orgasms impossible. Is this true? 2005-08-07 21:58:50
73 398 I don't think so... I think it just causes your body to be more immuned to the touch which makes you work a little more to orgasm. 2005-08-07 22:09:56
73 401 Hi, If you learn to walk and run at a young age does that mean you will have trouble walking when you get older? If you spend hours practicing to play a musical instrument as a child does that make it harder to do so when you are older, make you deaf, cause your fingers to fall off or lose& sensation in your fingers? We need to stop seeing sex as inherently harmful, its not. Your body doesn't know the difference between masturbation and partnered sex, only your mind. Many of the women I receive letters from are having trouble because they didn't learn to masturbate at a young age. Brad & 2005-08-07 23:36:05
74 400 Hi everyone, I am having a relationship with my gf since more than a year. Everything seems fine but sex is lightyears away. (Just in case you wonder, we are both over the age of consent and there are no religious or moral laws against it.) I am getting worried (honestly -- not just horny) about the situation. I'm afraid this could be a dead end street and the longer we keep moving on the harder it will be to find a way out. Therefore, I don't think the right answer to my questions contains the words "wait" and "not ready" although it's probably what most people I know would answer first. Before describing my situation it wrote down some thoughts to picture my environment: I think we both grow up in world, where information about sexuality is readily available when you're brave enough to look for it; where talking openly (with close friends, family) is always possible and mostly avoided; where there is a magical age limit (varies between 14 and 20) dividing mankind in 2 groups -- those below the limit who should be taught as many abstract theoretical knowledge about sex because (s)he can't know yet anything from real life and those above who know already everything there is to know because they did it. (Thus, you'd better ask all the questions you'll ever have before you hit the magical age limit although you won't understand the answers then) Any girl (no exception) I talked to about sex before their "first" (OK, there aren't that many) thought intercourse hurts -- just a little bit if he is caring, like hell if you're not ready. I don't know who told them that. Another myth is that males need to have orgasm regularly (to survive). Therefore males will masturbate and males want sex. However most women don't orgasm regularly. Obviously they don't need to. It is perfectly accaptable for an adult woman to enjoy masturbation or intercourse while others may prefer shopping or watching TV. Therefore in a relationship, flirt, one-night-stand it's his part to be in favor of sex and her part to object it. The couple has to settle on a compromise, it's sometimes acceptable to trade sex (of which he benefits) for things she prefers. We usually spend a couple of nights together a week, sometimes every night. The weird thing is, from the very beginning till today, often not always it reminds me of sleepovers with friends. There's simply nothing sensational about it, she's in her pyjamas ("I never slept without them"), she insists on sleeping NOW ("Sorry. No time for cuddling. Too Late!"). It's not always that bad, we hug and kiss and sometimes take off her clothes (and my, but that's the simpler part), but she avoids anything that could get us aroused: Only few French kisses and none of them too long. Passionate caressing and cuddling but without touching each other intimately. Lying close to each other but no moving. Automatically I'm trying to touch her vulva (I know I should ask but often I won't as it seems to me to be the most natural thing to do). As long as I'm on her legs she likes it (and says so). When get to touch her pubic hair she's getting uncomfortable (says she it doesn't feel bad but strange). Normally she won't let me touch her asking me to touch her on some other spot. If I do get to touch her the very moment my finger makes contact with her body (before I even realize I touched her) she moves her body back as if hurt. Maybe her clitoris or skin is very sensitive. However I think, it is her mind. She never masturbates or otherwise touches herself. She sais she used to be curious about how shw looked but never used a mirror to actually see down their and then lost interest. I once fingered another girl through her panties which was pleasant for that girl but she won't let me, she sais, she wouldn't feel anything, so why waste energy on trying? I'd really love to orally perform on her but she doesn't believe that I would actually enjoy it. She thinks she's smelly down their which she isn't. She wouldn't even let me give her a single kiss anywhere on her body while not wearing panties. (I think she's too afraid of being asked to give fellatio.) I'm quite sure (though I'd wish I was wrong here) she doesn't talk to anyone about the topic nor read anything about it. Probably she never felt positive about arousal, maybe she never realized she was aroused. We do speak openly about things experienced in the past and she can imagine sleeping with me in the long-term future and enjoy it (after we discussed our family planning in all glory detail and realized it could be too late to start a family eventually). However talking about the present is hard. On the one hand she thinks she's very late and I'm not getting what I deserve but one the other hand it's always safe to wait a few more days/weeks/months... Hope you got an idea about how I feel and what think. I don't expect a solution, just thoughts and hints. 2005-08-07 22:37:51
74 402 Hi, My short answer suggestion is to show her this website and allow her to become familiar with the sexual experiences of other women. She needs information not sexual experience. If she isn't ready, she isn't ready. You might suggest that she watch you masturbate during& her sleep overs. This way you aren't left frustrated and she isn't being pressured to be more sexual than she is willing or able to be. This might help her to be more willing to explore her own body. Brad 2005-08-07 23:45:20
74 406 I'd agree with Brad. If she's not ready, don't push her. You may want to bring up this website to her, to see if she's interested in exploring her own sexuality, but the important thing is that she doesn't feel pressured by you. After all, it shouldn't feel like a chore that she's doing for somebody else. 2005-08-09 00:28:33
74 411 You asked for thoughts and here's mine: You're sharing the same bed regularly and she never asked if you are unhappy with all of this? Didnt she ever ask/wonder whether u're satisfied or not? I just find it abit wierd. It's hard to live in this world nowadays and not notice that bad sex or no sex can seriously strain a relationship if not break it, so what are her thoughts on that? Note Im not saying she should do it to save ur relationship but you seem so attentive to her needs, I was just wondering how does she feel about urs? Anyway.. they're both right, u have to get her interested in exploring her sexuality, not having sex because the later will very likely follow my suggestion: Buy a sex-ed book and read it to her. That way she can not hide behind the excuse that she doesnt have to talk about something that makes her uncomfortable but she will have to listen and you get to watch her reaction. Personal choice: Sex for One by Betty Dodson (first sex book I ever bought!) and great for people with bad sex ed 2005-08-09 12:31:49
74 424 Thank you for your taking your time to answer my question. Brad's and oceanwind's reply is about what I expected, Kay's is obviously different. You are all right. In my initial posting I tried to stress what my worries are, so the view is a bit biased and too pessimistic. She does care about what I feel about the situation and she did express her worries about leaving me frustated before. We even had a good sex talk once all night long. In the morning we did what Brad suggested above. I can ask her to touch me intimately but her motivation to do it is 10% couriosity and 90% because I asked her. The curiousity part may be increasing but this is only about MY sexuality, it's not about her. I only know the sex ed book my mum read to me as child, which I hated. I decided never to force anyone to listen to a sex ed book. They tend be written by 40-year-olds about the situation of 18-year-olds written in with a child's vocabulary. ;-( I don't think my girl lacks information. At least, I don't think the lack of information is the core problem. The problem is the lack of connection between the information about other women and herself. Everyone is individual, of course, and she thinks that regarding sexuality she is somewhat different from the others. Thus, information about and from others does not neccessarily apply to her. She wants to find out herself by exploring, but not now, maybe tomorrow, maybe later... 2005-08-10 15:26:04
75 403 Hi everybody, i`m from germany and I dont really know how to ask this in english but I`ll give it a try. When I have sex with my boyfriend I`m almost every time not wet enough. So its always a bit difficult for him to get inside me. It doesnt hurt me but its a littlebit painful for him. Its not that I`m not horny, its just that i`m not wet enough. I had this problem ever since i started to have sex. I asked my doctor years ago about this topic but she just said I`m too tight. But I think the problem is not about tightness.It`s about body fluids. The only way, my boyfriend gets me wet enough is whith oral stimulation. Otherwise everything is just too dry. I don`t want to use cremes or something like that. Does anyone know this problem? 2005-08-08 04:25:29
75 407 Have you tried oral stimulation before intercourse? A lot of people use oral stimulation as foreplay before penetration. 2005-08-09 00:31:30
75 418 Hello Janie and welcome to the group :) In answer to your question does anyone else know of this problem - yes is the answer. First of all, I appreciate you dont want to try creams etc. But, it may help if you massaged your vaginal area with sweet almond oil daily. This helps with the elasticity of the inner and outer lips and your vaginal canal wont feel uncomfortable for your partner. Next, the wetness - have you asked the doctor to check your hormone levels? Are you on the pill? Lack of progesterone can cause vaginal dryness as can the contraceptive pill. Also, during sex, it is perfectly natural to use saliva as a lubricant to start you off during penetration. Oral sex is great for getting the outer lips nicely moist and ready for penetration. I would also try getting aroused by teasing etc while you are fully clothed before anything sexual takes place. Teasing by talking or breathing together and gently touching whilst you have your clothes on can often be a great way to kick start your brain into sending down the right signals for your vaginal and vulva area. You may even begin to feel yourself pulsing slightly in those areas before you have even touched eachother's skin if you fantacise enough and be playful beforehand. One more thing - nylon underwear is no good if you suffer from dryness. Neither is wearing jeans. Princess :) 2005-08-09 16:35:26
75 421 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "One more thing - nylon underwear is no good if you suffer from dryness. Neither is wearing jeans." ... ??? why? 2005-08-10 01:51:43
75 423 Nylon is a syntetic fiber that doesn't absorb humidity and consequently the warm, wet enviroment develops bacteria and fungus and they find their way inside the vagina. It is recomended to wear loose cotton panties and stay some periods of time wearing no panties at all. The jeans are a very thick knit fabric that even being cotton takes more tiem to soak and evaporate all humidity..Good luck you all kisses Luisa 2005-08-10 14:26:31
75 434 Hi, More information on care of the vulva is addressed on the page about hygiene linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hygiene.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hygiene.htm Brad 2005-08-18 11:50:36
75 435 Hi, In a survey on the website 56% of the participants have reported they have experienced dryness during vaginal intercourse. There are those who advocate the use of& additional lubricant during all sexual activities, alone and with a partner. It is incorrect to presume a woman's body should produce sufficient lubrication in any situation let alone all situations. Brad 2005-08-18 11:56:49
77 405 Hi everybody, We often hear about horny thirties (increase of sex desire / drive after 30 years of age). I was wondering, does it happen to most of women or is it somewhat of a myth ? Did it happen to you ? I would really like some feedback. Also, if it does happen, does it happen equally to women who had children and women who didn't ? (Or could it be a& phenomenon nature put there in order to assure that women has more chance of getting preagnent if she didn't already have child& younger?) Thanks, Thorgak 2005-08-08 08:24:49
77 410 Hi, Below is a link to a survey on the website that asks that question: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/poll_desire.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/poll_desire.htm Brad 2005-08-09 09:58:41
77 416 Hi thorgak I am 35 and can honestly say yes, it did happen to me. But I am not sure if turning 30 was as much to do with it as my living circumstances and finding my own voice by then. Princess 2005-08-09 16:17:07
77 420 Princess i agree with you I don't think it has to do nothing with biological changes, is more personality wise.. I changed a lot because I felt more sure of myself and more in control and consequently gave me a different look a sexuality which I enjoy much more now...Luisa 2005-08-09 19:51:02
77 422 Thanks for your answers, Those self-confidence changes...& Were they the result of specific events or are they the result of a gradual personality maturation with time and experience? Thorgak 2005-08-10 08:47:29
77 426 [user=171]thorgak[/user] wrote: " Those self-confidence changes... Were they the result of specific events or are they the result of a gradual personality maturation with time and experience? Thorgak " For me I would say it's been a gradual process. I'm much more comfortable with my body & sexuality now than I was in my twenties. 2005-08-11 19:26:16
77 480 Well i am 30. I recently had a baby and while i was pregnant i was so horny that i could not get enough, but i didn't want to much to do with my husband i really preferred& the shower head, although, i would have sex with him just so he would leave me alone.& I know that sounds bad but he just didn't know how to stimulate me. My daughter is now 4 months old and i am still horny as ever. I guess it does have something to do with the thirties. 2005-09-01 21:56:41
78 409 I can when i masterbate, and sometimes have cum when im being fingered, but during sex or getting oral. Also while it feels nice boob play does nothing for me. i dont taek any medicine that would affect me in that way, and actually the few times ive actually taken a drug (pot in my teen years) sex was better. Am i a lost cause? please i could really use the help even if its links. Thank you J. 2005-08-09 02:51:40
78 417 Hello and welcome to the group J. You dont mention how old you are or whether you are in a long term relationship or have children or not so my answer will perhaps be slightly vague for you. Firstly, you are not alone. Many women, myself included, go through a phase where nothing works in the orgasm department. Stimulation gets dull and you get to a point where you want to so badly that you just cant orgasm. Have you tried using a vibrator? In the past, this method was the only way that I could orgasm. There is nothing wrong with trying it out to see how you get on. I shared my experience with my partner and he was really happy because the self assigned pressure to please me in that way was lifted and things changed. The female orgasm starts in the mind. Do you fantacise? Daydream? Talking about what turns you on also can be a good way to overcome the mental block that occurs and stops us from orgasming. Smoking pot when you were younger would not have an effect on you now given that you are capable of having an orgasm through masturbation. So I wouldnt worry about that side of things. I cant orgasm through penetration alone. Many women cant. Explore you body. Slowly. Dont let having an orgasm be your goal each time you masturbate. Try touching your skin more in other areas, inner arms / legs, thighs, breasts and any place else that feels good. Use gentle strokes on yourself and ask your partner to massage you as well. With out touching your vaginal or vulva areas at all until you cant stand not being touched there any more. See how you go with trying that. You can do this alone or with a partner. Build up the sensations. Try stroking yourself with different textured objects like a feather or an ice cube. Hope this helped a little There is nothing wrong with you and you are certainly not alone. Our cycles change and hormones do too. Each woman is different. But not putting so much emphasis on haivng an orgasm certainly did help me. And then when it finally happened it was all the more mind blowing and special for me. Princess 2005-08-09 16:27:49
79 428 I'm a male in my twenties and have found viagra to be one hell of an experience. I dont have ED, but it just makes it better. I've heard of women also being prescribed to it, have any of you women had any experience with it? Was it good or bad? I'm thinking about giving some to my g/f to try, but I want to know what to expect before hand. 2005-08-16 22:37:03
79 429 Hi and welcome to the group :) I have tried it. Twice ! The first time I took half the blue tablet. It was ok but did not really make a difference to me. No side effects at all. The second time my partner got two tablets so I took one and he took one. Now that was an experience :) My head felt quite giddy like I was really happy. We were making jokes and laughing for a long time until his tablet really took effect! Sex was brilliant on it. But I can only speak for myself. I dont think women are technically supposed to take it without getting checked out from their GP first. I took a risk which could have turned out to be a silly one. But I was going on the principle that my partner was going to take it and he was scared. I would never expect anybody to do something that I was not prepared to do myself so simply swallowed the tablet before him as I really really wanted him to try it as he had suffered from impotence for a while and was sad about it to say the least. Having an erection changed him and he has not needed viagra since those two initial experience. He had a mental block nothing more serious so once he had seen himself in all his glory as it were, that was enough to "unblock' him :) Good luck with what ever you decide. Like I said, it did have an effect on me which was good with no side effects at all but we got our tablets from a reputable source that we could trust to be ok not diluted or hand made with anything dangerous. You have to be so careful nowadays Princess :) 2005-08-17 08:07:45
79 436 Hi, Viagra will have the same affect on female sexual response as male sexual response. It retards the hormone that normally suppresses an erection, blood engorgement. It does not produce or cause the erection or blood engorgement, it allows them to be more intense and last longer, potentially. I believe a study into the use of Viagra to treat female sexual dysfunction or dissatisfaction was suspended because they found it was not a reliable treatment option. Female sexuality is very complex and there is no single or easy solution, i.e. a pill. Some report success if used for specific situations rather than as a general fix. Being used as a sexual enhancer I don't believe has been studied, as it is a medication prescribe for the treatment of something. I don't know if any one has studied its affects on women without impaired sexual response. The potential side affects would likely be the same. Brad 2005-08-18 12:04:52
80 430 Hello all , I have to say I was amazed to find the site as it is ... very useful and informative. For years I carried guilt with me because of what was termed child abuse as a young girl , it started for me when I was 5 , my cousin used to play these games with me , byt the time I was 8 or 9 I looked forward to these games and sought him out if he was not ready when I was , I hated myself for this because Iwas told it was wrong... never the less by the time Iwas 12 Iwas kind of like Lolita.... and with all the psychologists and doctors telling me it was bad and I should not want it and it was wrong etc.. I felt like a Freak... when Iwas 16 I tried to commit suicide as a result. & Years have passed and I am now comfortable with who Iam and my sexuality , I would like to know if there are other women out there who dont necessarily view thier "innitiation" as abuse and what you all think of the issues surrounding this. & Email me on Niqui 2005-08-17 15:48:08
80 431 Hi..very interesting letter...I have seen many caases of "sexual abuse" but it is my opinion that sexual abuse is when it is forced on us(when little) by an adult; this is a product of many fantasies. We are and has been proved that we are sexual since birth and to prove it there are studies of children masturbation, some more frequent than others and this has to be taken as normal developemnt and explained to the children as normal in their words. History has shown that we like to explore sex when& little and in your case ( and mine and others) the sexual abuse idea was imprinted in your mind & by adults;when you were with your cousin, & were you injured in any way? were you forced to have sexual penetration with an adult penis?, I don't think so it was the case & at your age and mine age level. I'm no a PHD or like but if ever see two kids naked mimicking sex I won't scold them on the contrary help them to understand that it is normal but perhaps the place or the time is not. Do not feel guilty, you were exercising your right as a human being and somebody "twisted it". Love& Luisa ;) 2005-08-17 16:36:12
80 432 Hello niqui and welcome to our group :) We have another forum for this subject specifically. Please go to : sexabuseandincest.mywowbb.com/ also you may like to read the article on the main www.the-clitoris.com web site abuse pages - www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_abuse.htm there are many women who feel exactly the same as you and you certainly are not alone in your thought processes On our other forum site which covers this subject I was able to include the full history of our Yahoo Group Middle Ground right up until it was deleted, which Brad had started up for abuse and incest survivors. There are quite a few articles to search through which cover this material as well where we discussed many angles. I think you may find them useful. Been a bit quiet on there since we started it up in April so some new members would be helpful to promote more useful discussions in the future. I really hope it turns into the sucess that Middle Ground was and still is in many ways. Princess :) 2005-08-18 07:36:29
80 433 Hi, Another article relevant to this discussion may be the new page that addresses childhood sexuality. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/child_sex.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/child_sex.htm Brad 2005-08-18 11:48:40
80 437 Hello All, & Thank You all for your replies , and Luisa , to answer your question on my cousin , no it was never forced , it was merely a game when it started , I have to say I was so afraid when it did due to all the taboos surrounding sex etc.... I still feel serious confusion though , what made me as a young girl go out ans for want of a better term "solicit" older adult males for this game of mine when I was 12 or so.. I watched Lolita the other night and I could so Identify with what her MO was etc... It was scary to watch. Yet at this stage of my life Iam not afraid of sex nor do I find any of the sexual acts that take place between consenting people abhorent , admittedly there are some that I would not try however when does it become and how is it defined as abuse ... If a young girl entices an adult male ( and I know this is possible because I was that child ) is that child in thier right mind and what has led them to that? I looked back in history to the Middle Ages , Girls at the age of 12 were being married and having children by the age of thirteen , yes that is extreme but that was life at that time , where did society go to? In this day and age Porn is prominent and thre is so much missinformation around , that children are basically taught SEX = GUILT and SIN, I dont agree with this teaching having three daughters however and the youngest of them is very very sexually aware and has ADHD ... Its this that started my "quest" to try and understand the WHY'S and wherefores of this kind of situation , at school they aer being taught sex education but some of the things that they are being taught are just plain WRONG and based on the hellfire and brimstone theory.... THat left me feeling bad about my life and my youth. & This place was a miracle find , I have read the articles and I find them brilliant. THey answered a lot of questions for me already. & Thanks again & Love Niqui 2005-08-18 13:18:41
81 438 Hi, Well when I perform oral on my guy, I try to go down on him as long as I can, but after a while it makes me gag. Not from being disgusting, I mean I enjoy it, I just cant handle him being in my mouth for a long time. I try to take all of him in my mouth for a bit, then when it gets to much I take it out some and play with the head and switch like that, but even doing that it still makes me gag after so long. Anything that could help me with this? 2005-08-21 19:21:14
81 439 I don't really have any problems with gagging during extended oral sex sessions, but my jaw does ache after a while. Generally if it starts to get too painful we just switch to a different activity. If you're keen to gain some control over your gag reflex, I've heard that practising on a dildo can help. Other than that I'm not really sure, maybe others will have some suggestions. 2005-08-21 19:56:46
81 440 Hello, have you tried putting something with a nice flavour you like on his penis first? This can be great fun for you both. :) Some suggestions - honey, chocolate moose, cream, fruit syrup - the list could go on and on. You are only limited by your imagination. If you enjoy giving him oral sex then I would certainly give a flavour a go. Princess 2005-08-21 20:25:16
81 441 Hi, There is usually no benefit too taking his whole penis in your mouth. The most sensitive areas are usual the frenum, the area on the underside where the glans and shaft meet, and the glans. Use you hand and lube to stimulate the shaft. Lick and suck on his glans and the underside of the shaft. Use the stroke of your hand in conjunction with your mouth. Deep throating may be visually impressive and arousing, for one or both, but may not be all it is cracked up to in regards to pleasure. Giving and receiving oral pleasure should be fun and enjoyable for both. If you are aching or gaging then you should stop. You can then both masturbate to orgasm. Brad 2005-08-21 23:10:55
81 456 It might be the fact that you are getting tired and switching positions that is prolonging ejaculation (which then makes you more tired and having to switch positions again).& There have been times when I was only 4 or 5 seconds from ejaculation when my girlfriend stopped to change positions and it is like starting from zero (or close to it).& Then it took time to get back to where I was, sometimes a minute, sometimes more, occasionally& never.& Even a one second delay in stimulation, especially so close to the end, is enough to derail that train or else cause significant delays. Even if stimulation continues, any change in position so close to the point-of-no-return might mean you never get to return to that point. If he is comfortable enough with you, I suggest having him masturbate while you are in the room, so that you can watch for 1. SPEED 2. FORCE 3. CHANGES IN SPEED OR FORCEFULLNESS (especially near the end).& Then try to duplicate what you observed next time you do it.& & I am leaning towards believing you are either going too slow, or not far enough up and down, or both, but there is also a chance he has a problem he hasn't told you about. 2005-08-26 00:16:32
81 458 I have a similar problem. It's not the taste that is the problem, but after a while I find I get stuffed up, have a hard time breathing through my nose, and so I choke. By then it has definitely stopped being enjoyable for me. 2005-08-26 02:49:12
81 466 Hello, try a different position and as Brad mentioned, it is the glands around the top which are the most sensitive anyway so you dont need to take all that much in your mouth. Just stick to licking and kissing the top whilst holding the shaft to give pleasure to your partner. Princess 2005-08-27 08:15:09
81 503 [user=192]Edward4111[/user] wrote: "It might be the fact that you are getting tired and switching positions that is prolonging ejaculation (which then makes you more tired and having to switch positions again). There have been times when I was only 4 or 5 seconds from ejaculation when my girlfriend stopped to change positions and it is like starting from zero (or close to it). Then it took time to get back to where I was, sometimes a minute, sometimes more, occasionally never. Even a one second delay in stimulation, especially so close to the end, is enough to derail that train or else cause significant delays. Even if stimulation continues, any change in position so close to the point-of-no-return might mean you never get to return to that point. If he is comfortable enough with you, I suggest having him masturbate while you are in the room, so that you can watch for 1. SPEED 2. FORCE 3. CHANGES IN SPEED OR FORCEFULLNESS (especially near the end). Then try to duplicate what you observed next time you do it. I am leaning towards believing you are either going too slow, or not far enough up and down, or both, but there is also a chance he has a problem he hasn't told you about." Hey Edward! Thanks for your response you just helped me without knowing. I wish I had read this before I put up my post. But I think this is one of my problems, my hand gets tired or my mouth gets tired and I switch positions. I wish there was a way around that though. 2005-09-07 23:08:03
81 536 i found that making sure i brush my tongue way far back when brushing my teeth helps me get over the gag reflex. i have a terrible gag reflex but now i can touch my tonsils with my finger and dont gag! :Dmaybe this will help. afterall, gaging when going down is embarassing and annoying, but who wants to switch positions if u are enjoying it. 2005-09-14 19:22:18
81 543 [user=224]rosadog[/user] wrote: "i found that making sure i brush my tongue way far back when brushing my teeth helps me get over the gag reflex. i have a terrible gag reflex but now i can touch my tonsils with my finger and dont gag! :Dmaybe this will help. afterall, gaging when going down is embarassing and annoying, but who wants to switch positions if u are enjoying it. " I've tried doing this...and I think I need to practice more. & I definitely know what you're talkinga bout it being embarrassing.& My last encounter I had, I started to gag when the guy was cumming.& And when he came it didn't help much because I just wanted to throw up.& I was all in all embarrassed.. stupid gag reflexes! 2005-09-16 20:31:45
82 442 Hi i'm 13 and I have a question to ask all of you. The other day I was exploring the inside of my vagina and I found a big bump way up inside with a hole in the middle of it. I was wondering what this is.& Could it be my cervis and can it hurt you to touch it? 2005-08-22 18:20:55
82 443 It does sound like your cervix. As for hurting yourself if you touch it, I don't think you can cause any damage by touching it, it's not uncommon for the cervix to get bumped during sex and most women suffer no ill effects (except from momentary discomfort/pain). While it can be uncomfortable it's never caused me any problems. 2005-08-22 18:26:47
82 444 thank you for replying:D 2005-08-22 18:33:41
82 445 Hello and Welcome Konnichiwa yes it sounds very much like your cervix. you cant damage it by touching it with your hand or fingers. take a look at www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_anatomy.htm and click on some of the links which have some really good illustrations of a woman's anatomy. Princess 2005-08-22 19:19:38
83 446 Does anyone rub against a pillow, like mons area,& to have an orgasm? It is& a preferred way for me. I am not sure if it is normal for the pillow to get all wet and sticky from rubbing... Melissa 2005-08-22 22:38:46
83 449 Hello Melissa no, I have not tried this method at all. But it is normal for you to produce an amount of discharge which would appear wet and sticky on the pillow during and afterwards. Hope this helps Princess :) [user=130]melissa malena[/user] wrote: "Does anyone rub against a pillow, like mons area, to have an orgasm? It is a preferred way for me. I am not sure if it is normal for the pillow to get all wet and sticky from rubbing... Melissa " 2005-08-23 18:03:16
83 450 Hi Melissa& & The question you ask is quite normal becaause many women and young girls stradle a teddy bear, a pillow, a rolled towel, etc to masturbate and it becomes sticky& with the fluids generated by the sexual arousal; do not worry unless it has foul odor and in& that case you better go to the gynecologist If you want to see how many of us use an object in between the legs to stimulate the clitoris go to& [url=www.the-clitoris.com] www.the-clitoris.com& & and go to masturbation. Love and good luck Luisa & & 2005-08-23 19:57:04
83 451 It's definitely normal to get wet and sticky anytime you have an orgasm.& But if it bothers you, or is& a hassle to clean,& you could try putting a couple of layers of clothing between you and the pillow. 2005-08-25 10:51:51
83 2635 That's how I learned to masturbate was laying on my stomach& because my mound protrudes& quite a bit and is easily stimulated. I later learned about stuffed animals and pillows. I used those to keep my hands free to look at my step-dad's playboy's and be able to turn the pages! I still like to use a pillow but I have my favorite pillow that has extra heavy duty cases. The memory foam pillows are awesome and I can even wedge a dildo into one to be able to get penetration and grind my pubis& into the pillow. Towels can fold into a big roll and then I can hump it. Or even putting a dildo underneath the first layer of the pillow case and grinding on it. Also, my nipples are getting caressed as I rock back and forth humping my pillow my nipples dangle onto the pillow too. I'll even use one of those really soft velvety blankets and lay it out. What a turn on! I love to see guys do the same thing...lay on their stomachs and grind their penises! It's just so raw! Hmmm....Well, I just remembered something I gotta go do....*wink* 2006-09-13 11:11:20
85 453 My job requires me to be at home all day, so I get stuck doing the laundry while my girlfriend goes to work.& Years ago she had an affair with a guy at work and I caught her because I found wet semen in her underwear while doing the laundry.& She finally admitted to the affair and for the past 5 years she says she has never cheated again.& Ever since, I have paid close attention to her underwear when I do laundry.& Sometimes they are a little damp or a little crusty and some days they are clean with nothing more than a little scent.& I haven't noticed any pattern related to the time of the month as to whether the stains are thicker or whether they happen more often.& There are reasons to suspect she may be cheating; disappearing for hours to buy groceries,& returning from clothes shopping with no clothes because they were out of her size, going to work extra extra early and returning a couple of hours late sometimes because there was a problem just as she was about to leave work, going to work on vacation days to catch up on work, taking a shower when she gets home, keeping a seperate checking account so she can keep her shopping-money seperate from our bill-money, and also low interest in sex, and sometimes emotionally distant. So without proof beyond a reasonable doubt, I can't tell if she is just a hard working mother or whether she is very good at cheating without getting caught.& So the stains in her panties are an important factor in determining how far to persue catching her or whether to just forget about it.& & I need to know what constitutes a normal stain as opposed to putting her panties back on after sex with some other guy. As an experiment,& I masturbated into a pair of her clean panties into the same spot where I find& her stains, then let it dry.& When I compared it to a pair of her own stained panties to the semen stained panties& it was very similar in the amount, seemed to weigh about the same and had the same crusty texture.& So I asked her if she ever masturbates in her underwear and she denied it. I wouldn't expect her to lie about& having an orgasm in her underwear because she admits other times and places that she& does masturbate.& So what do you think, is she just randomly leaking fluid, or is she lying about masturbating in her underwear or cheating or both?& :shock: 2005-08-25 21:15:30
85 454 Now& that it has been found that a female prostate exists and produces same chemical constituents as is in semen, semen per se on a woman's panties is not& sufficient in rape claims. So, I would guess it's not sufficient for finding out if someone has been cheating...I've been reading about this (female prostatic secretions) lately. Someone named Dr. Zaviacic has published a book on it. Certainly there are women who ejaculate great quantities at orgasm....Maybe your girlfriend is one of them? Perhaps you may wish to ask her about female ejaculation. & It may be tough during intercourse& to find out, but have her masturbate for you or& have her& to find her G spot for you. Melissa 2005-08-25 22:25:07
85 455 Just so I understand this are you saying that if a guy finds stains& that are as much as a guy would leave behind then it is uncommon for a girl to have created the stain by herself unless she& had an orgasm and even if she did then it would be "excessive" to have created such a stain.& & Either way that would mean she is lying, either about cheating, or about masturbating with her panties on.& I've watched her masturbate and never seen an ejaculation that would have created these stains, so my only remaining doubt about her panties is whether is is a& normal, slow, oozing process throughout the day or an all-at-once "excessive" release.& I'm hoping she is just having orgasms on the drive to work. 2005-08-25 23:49:08
85 459 Hi, My guess is that vaginal and cervical fluids could like semen, cervical fluids can be very sticky. See the photos on the following web page. [url=www.nfpsoftware.com/mucus.html] www.nfpsoftware.com/mucus.html Your concern about your girlfriend cheating on you has become an obsession, which is unhealthy. If you don't feel you can trust her you shouldn't be in a relationship with her. Brad 2005-08-26 13:55:19
85 460 I'm 100% witht Brad you must know that women can produce mucus and secretions according to the hormonal state at the time and Ithtink it is an obsesion to smell hehr panties to try to control her. furthermore I think you're pulling "a fast one on us" Luisa 2005-08-26 14:20:00
85 462 Thanks for the link to the mucous photos.& :P & I admit my post makes me sound a little bit obsessed and maybe I& am dwelling on the subject too much.& But& we have been together almost& 18 years and this isn't something that is going to make me leave the relationship.& The way I see it, if she has been cheating for the past 18 years and managed to hide it and not caught anything or gotten pregnant with someone elses child and that's what& she likes, then that's O.K., and if she really only had that one 2-year affair then that's O.K. too. But if she isn't cheating now, then I would need to explore what other reasons could be causing our relationship to be just& fair, when it could be great. So, if am obsessed about anything, it would be improving our relationship. Thanks for the& insight so far. I hope more people respond, because I am not the kind of guy who would go overboard with this and waste money on chemical test kits for semen or on private investigators or on computer spyware. 2005-08-26 15:15:09
85 463 It would be impossible for me to tell over the internet what the fluid is. My suggestion to you is to communicate with your girlfriend that you feel your relationship is not as close as you would like. Let her know that it would make you happy if she spent more time with you, and also ask her if there is anything you can do to make her happier in the relationship. 2005-08-26 21:11:24
85 468 Hello Edward, Why dont you just ask her outright? "Are you cheating on me?" A question like that completely out of the blue when talking about something else can catch a person off guard. I have to say that actually checking the weight of the panties does sound like you are becoming overwhelmed by the thought of not knowing. Talking even if it does lead to an argument is often the best way to go if you are having serious thoughts, which by the sounds of things you are. You have been together for more than 18 years so it is not going to be the end of the world to her if you just simply ask. She may be offended that you have asked but given that she did cheat once, and you are genuinely thinking about the prospect of her cheating again, or having cheated again, then just ask. You dont have anything to loose by asking and your relationship may end up stronger as a result. You will be achieving a lot by asking too. She will get to learn how you feel, you will be sharing your thoughts and fears about this, plus she will have to look at her behaviour patterns afterwards once she calms down. I would definately consider this if I were you or you may end up with a self forfilling proficy on your hands. I sincerely hope that you find the answers you are looking for here. You will also need to communicate to her what you have said on this group page about not minding too much. Princess 2005-08-27 08:38:21
85 537 first off i dont think u are obsessive at all. a marraige is a serious othe. if she has cheated before and lied then she obviously cannot ever be 100% trusted.& you are already more whole-hearted than i would be, if my husband cheated i would divorce him since i'd never be able to look at him the same again without feeling hurt and betrayed. i think you& should swing by her work, the grociery store where she shops etc. & just to make sure her times click. if there is something u need at the store and its her day off but she says shes at work, take a swing by and & take notice if her vehicle is there...etc. save cash and be your own private eye.& sniffing undies wont tell u a thing, every woman secretes fluids on a pretty regular basis and you cant always go on that. u need to catch her lying. (if she is) my husband had an ex that she said she couldnt come over because she was sick so he drove to her house and she was sleeping with her ex. why not come out and ask to talk about wether she's happy, because if u arent there's no need to feel stuck and be taken for a fool cuz your married. 2005-09-14 19:37:39
85 538 If you guys have been together for 18 years and if she is cheating, your not going to leave her for it , so you say... then why obsess over it. I think that you are just a little bit too involved in her underwear and not enough involved in her. Man, no wonder she works so much. Maybe she is just trying to get away from you...have you lately told her that you love her, and that there isn't anything you wouldnt do for her. Maybe she doesn't want to have sex with you& , cause she is losing interest ever thought of that. I think you should try to spice up your sex life. Bring her flowers, make her dinner. I bet sooner or later, she's going to come around again. Stop worrying if the semen in her drawls is hers or another mans. Ask her once if she is out prowling if the answer is no... then drop it. Cause if you can't trust her, i don't think the two of you are going to work very much longer. Sorry if this is a bit harsh... its just how i feel.& & Good luck. 2005-09-14 21:49:52
86 457 Hi there. I'm a 26 year old woman in a committed relationship of 6 years and I'm not sure I've ever had an orgasm. Both sex and masturbation lead me to a growing...growing...nothing. I fake orgasms for the benefit of my boyfriend. I know, I know, not a very good practice, but I've always done it. It's almost like by pretending I have them, it might make it happen? Needless to say, I don't have much of a sex drive. I really do want to experience orgasm and get the fullest enjoyment of intimacy with my partner, but I don't know how. Please help. 2005-08-26 02:42:37
86 461 God do I know what you're talking about! I had my first orgasm at 24, that's less than 6 or 7 months ago. I had decided a few months earlier that it was about time to have my first one and so loaded up on lots of info from books and websites but just didn't get there. I finally brought my self (with a little pushing from my bf:)) to try a vibrator. My advice is order a Hitachi Magic wand (amazing!!), and check this website for more info about it www.bettydodson.com/newhom2.htm I honestly love this woman, it was because of her website and the women there, not to mention her book Sex for One. I had my first orgasm within 2 or 3 times trying. After around two months with the vibrator, I decided I want to learn to orgasm using my hand but was abit anxious seeing a lot of people said it's hard after using a vibrator. The first time I tried it worked! I think it did because I wasn't expecting it. Because at that point I knew what an orgasm felt like, I tried to go as far as I can and then try again later, no stress, however turned out I went all the way. I understand your frustration of trying to masturbate... my biggest problem was never knowing where I am going with it and then once the hand is tired enough, you quit. With the vibrator it is easier to go on and very hard to miss the spot as with the hand. As to all the hype about getting addicted to it, I have serious doubts to that. And in the end, an orgrasm, no matter how achieved, is way way way better than none. PS. Come clean with your bf. If you want to have orgasmic sex later on, very likely you'll need help from your hand or vibrator. How will you explain your sudden need to do that? I personally use my hand and I love it, my bf loves it and no more discomfort and frustration at the end. And don't limit yourself to the idea that you should come from penetration only. Just a suggestion, to avoid trouble with your bf, you can tell him you suspect you're not really orgasming and confused about it. If he questions you why now after all this time, maybe something like "I finally read a scientific description of what it is like" would do. And do read one! I found the one in the book Woman's Orgasm by G. Kline-Graber and B. Graber very helpful. If you want I can give you a summary! I hope this helps *HUG* 2005-08-26 14:32:37
86 467 Hi Cyan Kay is absolutely right in her advice to you. I think you should talk to your boyfriend about orgasms and that you suspect that you may not be experiencing them properly. There is nothing wrong with using a vibrator to achieve an orgasm. I do both alone and with my partner. Once I 'learnt" how to experience an orgasm with my vibrator, I am now fortunate enough to be able to reach climax more readily with stimulation from my partner's hand, fingers or mouth. We have been together eight years now and it is only very recently that he made me orgasm with his hands only using nothing else. I was so surprised I started giggling afterwards. Did not mean to but it just felt like such a wonderfully surprising present! We both fell about laughing in the end and he felt so good inside knowing he and I were able to work together to achieve this after all these years. With regards to your low sex drive, are you on the pill or any other medication? Have you had any hormone problems in the past? Given birth within the last three years? Usually but not always, there is a minor hormone problem. I would recommend you start taking chinese gingsing tablets that are readily availble from health food shops. Also, garlic capsuels and vitamin C can all help. If you are breaking out in spots in places like on your upper outer thighs or around your jaw, ask your doctor to check both your testosterone and progesterone levels. I have suffered for at least five years through lack of progesterone but did not know it until about seven weeks ago. I feel like a new woman now that I know and can do something about it. I also feel like I have a brand new vagina and clitoris too. They certainly have never felt this sensitive before I started using Pro-Gest cream :) Princess 2005-08-27 08:26:39
86 472 This is an interesting topic. I have the same experience as Cyan. I enjoy sexual activity, but when it seems to near a peak, the sensation suddenly stops. I can experience some of the 'signs' of orgasm, like involuntary shuddering movements, but not the sensation. Maybe mechanical assistance would help. 2005-08-27 21:39:57
86 523 [user=24]oceanwinds[/user] wrote: "I can experience some of the 'signs' of orgasm, like involuntary shuddering movements, but not the sensation. Maybe mechanical assistance would help. " I read in the Woman's Orgasm book that the definite sign of a female orgasm are the contractions in the vagina and not the preceeding sensations. Before learning to orgasm, I used to experience shuddering and tingling in my finger tips and toe during oral sex. I was then confused whether that was it. Yet now the sensation is completely different. Try a vibrator and I know this has been said a million times already, the trick is to enjoy what you're feeling at this moment, not wonder if this is it, or when is it gonna happen. This is something till now I sometimes find tricky! 2005-09-12 15:14:20
88 471 hi. im new here. i am going to tell you a little story& of me and my girlfriend. i dont live in the same country as my girlfriends so we see each other about 3 months per year, (we will get married soon though) and well, you could imagine how much we miss sex with eachother and miss being together. when we are together we do all the things a couple could do, starting with a 69 to almost all sexual positions. i remember when i first had sex with her i lasted ages, (before eyaculating) i would say more than 30 mins after penetration& but then i remember how a coulple of months later and after having sex sometimes 3 times a day i started lasting shorter and now im really sensitive when having sex and sometimes i even eyaculate after 10mins of penetration. why is this happening? is it..... to much sex? 2005-08-27 18:24:50
90 485 Just to share with men whose wanted to make their wife's clit bigger. My wife clit has become bigger now because i have sucked her clit for the past 3 years. Previously her clit was the size of red bean & now is the size of groundnut :). It's easier for me to suck her & she always has orgasm from my sucking & licking now .....:P& Initially it was difficult to suck& her clit because she& was& having a small clit & but i have tried& very hard to make it bigger & the final result was fantastic! & She is very happy & our relationship is getting very close. 2005-09-03 04:04:58
90 489 Hi, A partner of mine seems to have a larger clitoris than when I met her, and I believe it is the amount of attention it receives now compared to before. It also seems to be more prominent. It isn't like large or anything but perhaps a 25% increase in size over a couple of years, still only average in size. The increase in size is likely the result both stimulation during masturbation and partnered sex. I mention this possibility on the page about clitoral and labial size on the website. Seems I recall some medical article stating the size of the clitoris increases slightly with age too. Brad 2005-09-03 08:40:45
92 502 Ok so I have always enjoyed giving my partner a blow job. Although it normally takes me some time before I'm comfortable with them enough to get there. Anyway, I've been married for a year but my husband and I have been together for 3. In the past 8 months I've given him head more and more. One reason is cause I enjoy it. However, I don't think I do it very well. I'm one of those women who like the taste, like the feeling and the power it brings....however I can rarely if ever get him to an orgasm. At first I didn't want him to orgasm cause I always wanted to end with us actually having sex. But lately I want to bring him all the way. When I ask him what he wants me to do or if I should do anything different he doesn't really say anything. I am very open about my sexuality, I enjoy talking about things I don't know or understand and I enjoy trying new things. I know my husband is absolutely nothing like that. Although one reason he likes our sex life is because I'm a "down for whatever" girl. So if he doesn't come I'm always worried that I'm doing something wrong but since he isn't the talkative person in or out of bed I can't really get a straight answer. For the very first time EVER we had sex and he wanted to stop before coming. That really hurt my feelings. 2005-09-07 22:58:57
92 505 Hello mzt121 and welcome to the group :) Have you actually asked him to cum in your mouth? It could be that he is feeling under pressure to please you and may not feel comfortable with the idea or he may feel unable to communicate to you how he actually feels about you wanting to do this. Sounds strange but as you are so open about what you want, what you like doing etc, it may be intimidating for him. You said that it hurt your feelings when he did not want to continue to orgasm. This is actually a good thing. Making love and sex should never be focused on achieving an orgasm from either of you. It should something that is shared and nurtured not forced or rather, expected to happen. Your husband, from the little you have said, appears to be a very caring person towards you. I think he may be perhaps feeling awkward about your full on approach and does not know how to express this to you because it may hurt your feelings. Men love the chase and initiating. Sexist comment, I apologise. We all do like the thrill of gaining something and initiating things ourselves. It is a little turn off to me when my Partner asks me what I want him to do. Sometimes I just want to be taken. Princess 2005-09-08 07:42:20
92 506 thanks princess :D I'm glad i found this site. It's funny you should mention the last part. Because I tell myself that all the time. Sometimes I make it a point not to be too aggressive because my biggest fantasy (which I've told him) is to be taken and controlled. I know there is a lot we are still learning about each other. And I can honestly say that my libdo has been a lot higher in the past 7 months than ever. But i think its because we aren't currently living together (i relocated to open my own business and he is waiting for a transfer to go through with his company). I miss the intimacy and quality time we spent together so now I think my sex drive is going crazy because of it. About being hurt with him not orgasming. It wasn't really expecting that to happen except (its never not happened so that was a huge shock in itself) but the fact that I noticed he wasn't as into it as I was. And because we don't spend that much time together I crave whatever moments we can get. We usually see each other maybe once a week but its been over 2 weeks since the last time we saw each other... 2005-09-08 19:48:50
92 507 Hi, I honestly have been on both sides of the coin here. When living with someone, it is an immense turn off if my lover was talking about the things they liked or wanted me to do or worse still, how they needed me to do those things. This is because after a while things just were not allowed to just happen naturally. They felt forced and I, whilst enjoyed sex with that person up to a point, found there was something missing for me. Whilst not living with someone, again, to me, it is a huge turn off if the other person is talking about or giving the impression that they are excited about the sexual side of the relationship. Putting too much emphasis on it. I love all the flirting, the teasing from afar, but as soon as that person starts talking about how much they need for me to do this or that, or they ask me what I want them to do to me, I get turned off. My mind then switches off and whilst I still want to be with that person, sex becomes a run of the mill thing where I simply go through the motions and am not bothered either way. I dont quite know why this is really. I think it is because I like the passion and spontinaity of the unplanned experience. Making love and pleasing my lover should be a pleasure not a chore. It should never be about feeling obligated or obliged to do things just because the other person is saying that is what they want. Discussion about what we like, what we might like to try together and experience together are different and can happen over dinner casually. But as soon as I feel that the other person wants or needs this more than I do, it turns me off. You mention that one of your fantasies is to be completely controlled. That is interesting. I used to think that was a brilliant idea. I tried it and loved it. However, I quickly came to realise that it was the being caught up in the passion and lust with my partner was so much more fun and that was what was missing in the first place. Sometimes, fantasies should remain just that, a fantasy. Glad you are pleased with the group and thanks for posting :) Princess 2005-09-08 20:37:43
92 509 There have been times in the beginning of our relationship that he would come so quick when I would give him a blow job.& Everything was new and exciting, and as much as I hate it sometimes, men are visually stimulated, new stimulation is a big help.& He thinks its the greatest thing if I tell him to sit at his computer and look at porn while I put a pillow on the floor and give him a blowjob.& Its the thought that he is caught doing something naughty and just tell him to watch the screen and enjoy the blow job.& It doesn't mean he isn't just as attracted to you, but sometimes after time we all need a boost to get that dirty part of our mind to come out.& especially w/ all of the daily stress we all have in life.& Then once he realizes that he can just be himself and relax and its not about pleasuring you in that moment, he will in time be able to cum that way.& Try stroking his penis w/ your right hand while you are sucking on it, and tickling his balls and taint w/ your fingers while all of this, the orgasm will be amazing for him, and he will look at you like you are the coolest girl in the world.& I do agree that men seem to feel pressure sometimes to please and perform great that sometimes they forget to relax and just enjoy it, especially if they love you.& its almost silly but me and my fiance spend more time trying to please eachother sometimes that we will end up having this really lengthy f%&* session trying to make the other person completely orgasmic. & 2005-09-09 00:39:33
93 511 I just love to masterbate. I could do it all day , every day. It just feels so good. The way my whole body tingles when i am about to cum. I only can get this feeling by myself, no one can help me. I can not have an orgasm with anyone so i please myself and i love it. 2005-09-09 22:01:14
93 515 Hi Sally How old are you? You dont have to answer, I just wondered. Princess 2005-09-10 07:04:32
93 516 I'm 30. Why you ask? & & 2005-09-10 10:35:09
93 517 I just wondered for no particular reason Princess 2005-09-10 11:14:27
93 544 I do too. It's great, I've been doing it since middle school. I am now in college. 2005-09-16 20:47:36
93 545 Hi Sally, you, I and many others do it sometimes more than once a day, it is so relaxing and so personal and intimate, I've been masturbating since I wa a little girl and didn't know what it was but it felt good, later I was told what it was and I loved it more lol.& & Hugs kisses Luisa 2005-09-16 20:57:02
93 546 I know, me too. People here may think i'm crazy but it just feels so good. 2005-09-16 21:29:21
93 549 I don't think you're crazy.& I think it's sexy that you can enjoy yourself without anyone else.& I love to masturbate as well.& I don't do it everyday, but I think about it. & 2005-09-17 16:05:47
93 663 that's great that you love it so much! but you don't do it with your partner? what a shame for him (or her). that's one of the (very few) things that is a bit disappointing about my wife. i absolutely LOVE to masturbate - but she could take it or leave it. to me, there is nothing hotter than the sight of a woman, confident with her own body,& legs spread wide, rubbing, vibrating, or fingering herself to a powerful orgasm! & here's to you and yours! 2005-10-09 17:10:27
93 665 I love to masterbate, too. I don't know what I would do without my trusty vibrator, though! I would probably come close to doing it everyday, sometimes for up to 2 hours at a time, just having orgasm after orgasm and I end up in a sticky mess! I have a boyfriend whom I live with, sometimes he watches, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he joins in, sometimes he doesn't. I had an interesting experience the other day, sometimes my partner and I invite a girlfriend of mine into our bed to have a bit of fun, she was over the other day and we started getting a bit horny together but my partner was out so I said I would love to have sex with her but I thought it would be wrong to do it without my partner. So we said our goodbyes and I went back& into my room and masterbated, I received a text message from her shortly afterwards saying how horny she was and how she couldn't do anyhthing about it because she was at work. So I sent one back saying I'd just made myself orgasm and a little bit of imagery for her to get more worked up over. So we sent dirty msgs back and forth until she finally& finished work. Her last text msg said something like& "I just masterbated in the shower thinking of your beautiful body shuddering in orgasm. I just kept cumming and cumming, thank you for helping me get off, xoxo" I loved being a part of that moment of hers ;)& I'd love to watch her masterbate. Fuck it, I'd love to masterbate together! 2005-10-09 22:08:22
93 677 Mantra, I understand the desire to masturbate with the girlfriend. I already did it with male and female friends and it was great. I will do it again and again. 2005-10-13 16:25:37
93 678 Hi Mantra, So I'm not the only one who beleives a girl's orgasm may be even stickier than a guy's? Melissa 2005-10-13 21:37:33
93 684 [user=204]sally_b[/user] wrote: "I know, me too. People here may think i'm crazy but it just feels so good."No!! I don't think your crazy. Its feels great:D 2005-10-17 08:58:56
93 687 HI..to me masturbation is a unique sexual experience because I can achieve one or more orgasms and at the speed I want. I can make it& last longer if I feel like keeping myself at the edge or just come fast if I am in a hurry and my personal opinion is that there is not another sex experience that compare to masturbation. Good luck& Luisa 2005-10-17 20:23:04
93 688 u just gotta keep tryin i guess........... try somethin new tht would get u closer to experiencin orgasms wit ur partner gotta keep tryin girl 2005-10-18 05:43:48
93 715 Hi Mantra, It is interesting about what you say about secretions...being sticky, etc...If you would, I have a few questions, you may e-mail me at PLEASE DO NOT PUT AN EMAIL ADDRESS ON A PUBLIC FORUM. PEOPLE CAN CLICK ON YOUR PROFILE AND EMAIL YOU DIRECTLY FROM THERE. THANK YOU Princess 2005-10-22 15:04:28
93 716 Dear ultm8 I wouldn't have you feeling awkward watching her masturbate? Perhaps some guys I beleive would want to be in on it being the one to please her... Melissa 2005-10-22 15:06:49
93 744 MM: Not sure I understood ur question. Either way, I don't feel like i have to be the one pleasing her. I always thought i would marry someone who had a love of masturbation like i do - spending lazy afternoons watching each other making ourselves cum. Didn't work out that way. On the rare occassions that my wife will masturbate for me, it doesn't bother me in the least to not be the one getting her off. I've always told her that i don't care what gets her hot, as long as she GETS hot!& LOL! 2005-10-30 18:27:45
93 910 I have never had sex, but I do love to masturbate. Something that gets me off is watching a women masturbate. 2005-12-20 03:54:34
93 912 I've been doing it since I was 18 and I love it too. I cannot have IC as of yet because of vaginismus but I have been inserting my dilators whilst aroused and making myself orgasm whilst they are in which I think helps me a lot. I can spend ages building up and holding off from my genitals for quite a while and then as soon as I go down there, I explode and can then continue to have orgasms for as long as I have time to lay about martubating, haha. I hear that loads of men get off on seeing us females masturbate. I would feel a bit stupid doing it in front of a guy as things stand now& but I suppose it would be worth getting used to, it would be great if it didn't make me feel ridiculous. 2005-12-20 11:35:24
93 914 Hi perhaps if you filmed yourself masturbating first you would see what you look like. Just a suggestion. Then when you are comfortable seeing yourself that way you can share the experience in real life with a boyfriend or partner. I love masturbating in front of my partner. It is a huge turn on watching him becoming increasingly aroused watching me. Princess 2005-12-20 17:21:30
93 1188 I have watched my wife masturbate and I have masturbated in front of my wife. I find it very erotic.I wish I could have multiple masturbations like a female. It does feel so goooooood. 2006-02-22 17:25:33
93 1192 Last night while I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, I mentioned that I would really like to watch him masturbate since the thought of it turns me on.& He then asked if I would masturbate for him too, of course I told him I would be happy to. Just thinking about it gets me excited. 2006-02-23 15:01:32
93 1197 good for you :) Princess 2006-02-23 16:47:55
93 1226 Thanks!:D& I absolutely can't wait. 13 more days until I get to see him. 2006-02-25 15:39:25
93 1409 DO YOU HAVE ANY PARTICULAR FANTASIES WHILE YOU ARE MATERBATING there is already a thread about this subject can you post in that one please thank you Princess 2006-04-11 17:13:44
93 1410 here is a link to the other thread - femalesexuality.mywowbb.com/forum7/260.html Princess 2006-04-12 03:55:06
93 2009 how do you tell if yor female partner is getting off durring sex& and not just faking?:-/ 2006-07-22 16:15:11
93 2014 Well if she's moaning like a pornstar, then you should worry.& You can't really tell unless she's upfront about it. Or if you can feel her vagina milking your penis when she's orgasming. When it comes to oral sex, if you are fingering her while you're playing with her clit, you most likely will feel her muscles pulsate squeezing your fingers.& And if you don't feel the sensation of her pvc muscles doing that to your fingers, she's faking. 2006-07-22 16:47:00
93 2176 I China ,some people called& Taoshi can have multiple orgasms just as the female.(Taoshi was who believe in a Chinese religion called Taojiao,which was founded by Laozi,who was compared with Confucious)They are admirable,aren't they! 2006-07-29 12:45:24
93 2177 Hi,Ladyburg,but women can contract the muscles of their viginas by will,can't they?So we male still can't tell,I'm afraid,so it's still a tough problem,when you are making lov e with a good actress. 2006-07-29 12:55:17
93 2178 [user=678]dragon[/user] wrote: "Hi,Ladyburg,but women can contract the muscles of their viginas by will,can't they?So we male still can't tell,I'm afraid,so it's still a tough problem,when you are making lov e with a good actress."Yes we can, but there's a different between an orgasm pulse and a grap your finger flex.& 2006-07-29 13:29:00
93 2193 I too; am also in the "Fan of the Masterbation Club" yes enjoying masterbation is really a good thing. I would suggest if you are having a hard time "getting off" any other way than from masterbation; try doing different ways of masterbating. learning to cum from another method may help you come with another person. Years ago another woman and I use to masterbate over the phone together; but, I am digressing. just wanted to add my two cents. 2006-07-30 17:09:39
93 2196 :-DDear Mantra & I think its hot that u masturbate an wanna have sex wither other women around your bf& I wish there were more women like you out there@};- 2006-07-30 17:55:03
93 2197 &Dear [user=130]melissa_malena[/user] & it probably is& women have a bigger& space for it to come from 2006-07-30 18:02:09
93 2574 what post are you replying to? 2006-09-07 21:13:38
93 2589 Wow! This site sure is helpful in overcoming shame and guilt. If nothing else you learn that you really are not alone. Wish our whole western society would read the stuff that's posted here and just GET OVER IT! If I ever have any children, I promise not to make them feel guilty about it. We'll just talk about being discrete and the fact that other people are not necessarily so open minded, so you may need to think carefully about whom you want to share that info with. Thanks to all here for being so open minded! (Yes, I enjoy it too! ;)& ) 2006-09-08 12:32:17
93 2591 & this is the post i was replying to& & Hi Mantra, ?? So I'm not the only one who beleives a girl's orgasm may be even stickier than a guy's? Melissa 2006-09-09 11:40:00
93 4107 hi, i live in grenada w.i. i'm a guy my name is kellon i just want you to know. i have a gf. but i want to understand more about female masturbation i think that it will help with my overall understanding of females who do and add to the relationship with my girl. i want to learn so any help will be great thanks:D. p.s. you can contact me via messenger if you like let me know. 2007-04-18 07:25:17
93 5174 here is a link to the other thread - [url=femalesexuality.mywowbb.com/forum7/260.html] femalesexuality.mywowbb.com/forum7/260.html Princess,& sorry to trouble you.& You posted the above on 12th April, 2006 but, when I click on it, I am denied.& 2007-12-06 18:29:56
93 5212 I've been masterbating since I was a little girl---I think around 5 or 6.& I remember humping on teddy bears, beach balls and baby dolls etc Now, I have graduated to using a vibrator on my clit and it feels really amazing.& It's better than using my hand.& My orgasms are quite intense, and afterwards it puts me to sleep like a baby.& I think it's an excellent substitute for oral sex right now.& Defintely not better than the real thing, but pretty close and it keeps me very satisfied. 2007-12-23 16:37:45
93 6305 I love to masturbate just as much as you do .. i just don't have enough privacy but once in a while i do.. and i make the most of that time xD I'm like 17 and my parents keep walking past my room all the time and& walk in and out of my room aswell... sigh xD:? 2008-12-21 03:26:44
96 518 I am a lesbian . I mostly like boobs . What attracts& other& & girls . do other womanlove boobs& 2005-09-11 02:13:13
96 521 Hi I'm bi and I don't feel we look to a particular feature in a girl, myself tend to look tothe inner girl and then enjoy the intimacy before we start picking parts of the body. Talking about breasts no 2 women agree on big or small breats each has its own beauty and the nipples are so different and ll so arouisng; I have a friend with beautiful large nipples and she feel asahmed and hide them and tells me she looks like a female monkey... Well we are beautiful in our way..love Luisa 2005-09-11 15:41:40
96 552 I think women in general are beautiful creatures.& I am attracted to all kinds of women, some with big boobs and some with small.& I went to this adult themed party once and there was this Asian gal.& She was so petite.& & She had long black hair.& She didn't have any body hair, and she had the perkiest little boobs.& She didn't have any cleavage, and they curved up showing pink nipples.& I couldn't stop staring at her.& She "worked" at the party and would perform lap dances but only for men.& I went with my boyfriend, and he had her perform for him so I could watch.& I really wanted her to perform for me.& 2005-09-17 16:30:50
97 525 i am a 27 yr old caucasian and my mother always told me not to shave above the knee. i remembered how hairy my mother was so i figured i would since i didnt want to look like her. well...she failed to tell me the reasoning behind it- so alass now i am very hairy and am forced to shave all the time which leads to more -thick, dark hairs!!! i went to get a bikini wax once and this perfect little bleach blonde girl did it and was like "wow, you DO have a lot of hair"...i was sooo embarassed! the nerve! i never did that again!anyway i dont like wearing short shorts or bathing suits because i shave my thighs and bikini area so much and have inevitable little red dots and ingrown hair bumps and it looks like i have some freaky rash! YUCK! but if i dont i have black stubble all over my thighs and bikini instead! i cant win. so my question is....how do i get rid of hair forever so i dont have to constantly shave or wax- are there creams or lotions that are PERMANENT??? i use this naturally smooth hair mimimizing lotion but its not working- has anyone had luck with that?? advise please!!!!:shock: 2005-09-13 14:01:35
97 527 Hello rosadog and welcome to the group :) in short - no - there is no permanent answer to removing hair. Electrolosis come fairly close but costs a bit. You can buy home kits nowadays which will do the job but they are pretty tricky to use as you have to get the tiny needle down into the hair folacle. One thing that I do while I am relaxing is to pull the hairs out with tweasers. This takes ages. I usually do this while I am watching a heavy going film to take my mind off the pain of it. But it works and the hairs grow back much much finer and more easier to remove. They dont grow back too quickly either. They take much longer to grow back then shaving them off does. As for waxing, again, I would try one of the home kits you can buy. Much more convenient and less embarassing to use at a salon as you have experienced already. Also, one more thing, have you had your testosterone levels checked recently by a blood test? And been checked for insulin function? Both these things can cause excess hair as can progesterone levels being too low. I hope this all helps a little. I am sorry I couldnt tell you that you could simply remove the hair and that would be that. But unfortunately that is not the case :( Princess 2005-09-13 16:20:24
97 530 Hi, Laser hair removal can reduce hair growth, to the point of almost no hair in some cases, so I gather. Expensive, requiring three treatments, but about your only option, besides what Princess mentioned: Here are some links. [url=www.hair-removal-products.net/brazilian-wax.html] www.hair-removal-products.net/brazilian-wax.html [url=www.hairremovalforum.com/bodyhairremoval.htm] www.hairremovalforum.com/bodyhairremoval.htm [url=www.hairlasers.com/index.html] www.hairlasers.com/index.html [url=www.sfsi.org/answers/hairless.html] www.sfsi.org/answers/hairless.html It isn't shaving that increases hair growth, but simply increased age. Brad 2005-09-13 21:10:52
97 534 thank u both so much. i wish i lived in a country where no one shaves so it wouldnt matter....but i dont! Maybe alaska or antartica or greenland....those places are always cold- no one would want to for fear of freezing! anyway....i'll have to check out those sites and just try different waxing kits (nothing ever works like it says its going too) just like the picture on the BK commercial doesnt ever look the same as the burger you unwrap after you order at the drive thru. i use to do the plucking thing- i got real good at it and it didnt hurt much if i did it all the time- it was just so time consuming! i probably shouldnt even worry about it (i doubt i have a hormonal inbalance or anything) my friend when i was in highschool had hair under her chin she'd have to shave...im not that bad...i just dont see anyone else with& rashy thighs and bikini,& so i dont like it. funny how society makes girls/women compare themselves to glam-stars and such (even when they know better, like me...i know better....its just thats what& most guys look at.....and i want my husband to like looking at me) anyhow. im glad this site is available. so freaks like me can feel a little bit more normal.-;) 2005-09-14 14:39:32
98 526 Please help, and I apologize if this seems long.. I have been doing some research, but I can't seem to find the answers that I need.& & Here is my problem: I just recently lost my virginity, about a couple weeks ago, my boyfriend can't have children, he is defective, so we had sex without a condom, and five times since.& Ever since our first, I have noticed that my discharge has started smelling 'fishy' and research tells me that this could be signs of a bacterial infection, but I don't know what to do.& If it is, is there anything 'simple' I can do to get rid of it?& I know how to prevent it in the future, but I need to know what I can do about getting it to go away.. the smell seems gross and strong, and sites tell me too many different things, I just want to know if anyone has gone through this, or can confirm my assumptions, and most of all, help me get it gone! thank you. & -Serena 2005-09-13 16:07:38
98 528 Hi Serena Welcome :) Yes, at some point I have had this several times. Firstly, it is always best to get these checked out with a doctor. It could be anything. But in the meantime, get some thrush cream from the chemist or pharmacy. Thrush is the most likely cause. This is not bad at all. It is a yeast inbalance within the vulva and vagina. The cream will help sooth the irritation and treat the infection. There are times though when this cream must be backed up with the corrrect antibiotics as well. Please please get this checked out. A swab taken from you will rule out all manner of other more serious infections. Princess 2005-09-13 16:29:03
98 529 ah, I was hoping you wouldn't say the 'd' word lol..& okay, I have a docter, mr. smith, as my normal doctor, should I see him?& What type of doctor is okay?& 2005-09-13 18:04:20
98 531 Hi, A fishy odor possibly indicates a bacterial infection, or your body reacting to his ejaculate. A bacterial infection requires antibiotics, a yeast treatment, an anti-fungal, wont work and could cause harm if you don't have a yeast infection. You should& see a doctor. Even if he is sterile, how do you know for sure, he should still be using a condom to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections, especially if you are dating. Brad 2005-09-13 21:15:56
98 532 yes, I am making sure to use condoms next time!& Its not good, worrying about the 'possiblility' of pregnancy or any 'reactions' & on a more positive note, I described to my mum about what was going on, and she said yeaste (pardon my spelling) infections are common in her side of the family, the women produce extra, so she gave me a tablet and told me to douche before I shower (once) and then from there on, once a month, so not to over do it, and to keep clean.& 2005-09-13 22:29:02
98 533 Hi, Douching causes rather than prevents infections, as it disturbs the natural balance of the vagina. You can also force foreign material into the uterus resulting in a pelvic infection, resulting in infertility. Please see the information on the following page: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hygiene.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/hygiene.htm This page has the info on infections: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/vaginitis.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/vaginitis.htm Brad 2005-09-13 23:59:00
99 535 i have a deeper question this time... i have been married to my husband for a little over a year. he didnt tell me until after we were dating a while that he had lead a permiscuous life before he met me and that he aquired herpes in his early 20's. obviously i was hurt beyond belief since i didnt think he was that kind of person since(which was the major reason i married him) PLUS we had not been using condoms... I& asked him why he didnt tell me& when he met me-& he said it was because his doctor told him he could not pass it on unless he was having symptoms. he also stated he hadnt had a breakout for 2 years. I was so upset and refused to believe 'heresay' and couldnt understand why, if he had a sexually transmitted disease why he wouldnt keep up with information about it! so i researched it and i found otherwise. i told my husband it CAN be passes asymtomatically, whenever his body is shedding it even though he has no symptoms. which is why most peolple dont even know they have it let alone aware they are passing it on. unfortunately i think i may have already caught it from him. its hard to say since symptoms, if any- include anything from a mild itch to a burning rash with blisters, to only a severe unexplaine cervical pain. i aim to get it checked out. but instinct tells me i have it. i also want to get checked out to make sure thats ALL he is passing to me since he was only tested that once long ago...hes not a cheater so i know hes not with anyone else but me now. Question #1 is- can i also catch it from sharing a towel after showering together? considering the towel is damp? i know toilet seats are not likely because they are dry. Question #2- say i get tested and if i DO indeed have it now too, does it matter if we use condoms? it seems gross to me but, does it really matter if we are passing the same disease back and forth(does it& cause more breakouts that way) Question#3- this is for anyone (a personal pole) what is the adverage number of sexual partners a 27 year old has had? my husband had 12 before the age of 21 (he started at age 15---when i was still playing with my little ponies and strawberry shortcake dolls!) i was never kissed until i was 21, and have had only 2 partners before my husband, one of which i was with 3 and 1/2 yrs. (you can see why im a little distraut over finding my husband was with 18!............. PLEASE HELP....:? 2005-09-14 17:58:12
99 541 Hi rosadog Firstly, Yes, you can catch it from sharing towels. That was one of the first things that the hospital said to us that I must take great care and use my own towels and not allow anyone else to use them. Secondly, it may not bother you to pass the same thing back and forth whilst being married, BUT, do you really want to be going through this on and off for the rest of your marriage? You should both get treated together and get advice together about this. Perhaps some marriage counselling may be in order so that you can express your feelings of how let down you feel that your husband did not tell you he had an outbreak of the herpies virus before he was with you. I would most certainly feel betrayed and angry about that. With the herpies virus, I am sure you already know, but once you get it, you always have it. You may not present with all the symptoms of a full on outbreak but the virus will be with you. Sorry, if that is something which causes you to feel uncomfortable. But it is better to be straight about these things. Get yourself checked out properly. Receive the right treatment. But it will be a fruitless exercise if your husband doesnt do the same thing at the same time. There may well be something else like bacterial infection that shows up and so you will both be treated for this together. Hope this helps and let me know how you get on Princess 2005-09-15 20:21:29
99 551 When you married, you already knew about the herpes, correct? If you don't have herpes, do everything possible to protect yourself from getting it.& I've read that herpes can cause some forms of cancer in women.& If you get pregnant, and give birth vaginally, you can transmit it to your baby if you have an outbreak.& & Stress can cause your outbreaks, and being in labor is stressful. Wear protection...always, and whatever you do, DO NOT perform oral sex on him without a condom or you may get herpes in your mouth. Sure, herpes is a livable condition, but if you are not careful, it is really gross!& I hate those TV commercials about herpes because it makes it sound like it's not that bad. I hope you do not have it. 2005-09-17 16:22:46
99 563 i think that i too my have herpes because i have this bump on the inside of my vagina its not painful or anything and it has been there for about two months but but besides that everything else has been normal what do u think ?:? 2005-09-20 21:07:35
99 566 to answer ms.bama: i am not a doctor but i doubt that it is herpes. a herpes blister is different. in most cases (those who have full blown herpes symptoms) it tends to itch or burn in areas around your vaginal area, then a pimple like bump will develope turning into a blister then eventually a sore& before it& crusts over and begins to heal. it may last a couple days to a week. (again most cases)....if u have a bump it may either be normal or something that a gyno should check out but if it doesnt cause you any sort of irratation and has been there for months it doesnt sound to me like herpes. 2005-09-21 13:12:30
99 567 another question about transmitting herpes: i have looked on different sites but they only answer general questions. the questions i would like to know answeres to are - 1.- i have read you can get herpes different places then just vaginal, anal, and oral... if you say that it can be caught from sharing a towel, does that mean you could get herpes anywhere the towel touches, like arms, legs,shoulders & etc....??? ..also, if i have a breakout and i am drying myself with my own towel couldnt i then spread it all over myself??????- how does that work? 2.- medication only helps with holding back breakouts. but it does nothing to keep u from asymptomatically shedding the virus and transmitting it...(or does it)so, since my husband has only had 1 break out in 2 years and& has not been on any medication,& if i get diagnosed with it too& as long as i dont have symptoms we should be fine having sex without condoms shouldnt we? or does this increase both our risks for having more breakouts. (obviously we would not be having sex at all if one of us had symptoms) 3.- oral sex is a no-no too i found out. but what if one of us is already infected in the mouth, would kissing be a no-no forever too? or do you have to have symptoms to be able to pass it from mouth to mouth?? i would hate to think i may never even be able to kiss him!!! .................i dont know about this stuff- hopefully some one else does!:( 2005-09-21 13:31:36
99 571 well I know it is wrong to keep something like that from your mate.& but I do understand why some people do it.& my sister got herpes at age 17 and was horrified by the experience.& she had warts and had to have them burned off, very painful.& she is now married and her hubby does not know.& He would probably leave her if he knew.& she was told the same thing by her doctor that as long as she doesn't have any breakouts she can't pass it along.& she took meds to suppress breakouts and hasn't had any since, but he still doesn't know.& 3 kids later and one affair by him, still no clue.& I dont know if she'll ever tell him, but he would probably leave her because of it.& i know that is why she doesn't tell him. & Oh my thoughts on the sex roster.& I had 11 by age 26. which now days doesn't seem like much w/ girls sleeping around.& and even though it seems like such a double standard, most guys are screwing as young teenagers.& they are little hormones just running around.& my fiance has slept w/ probably 30+ women, dont know the exact number and i am probably way off its most likely more.& majority of the sleeping around was in his early 20's when he was in the navy.& the problem w/ guys sometimes is they would rather have all the feeling in their penis then put on a condom to keep from getting a disease.& it scares me for both of my kids when they get older, all i can do is educate them. try to understand why your husband kept this from you, probably fear of rejection. 2005-09-22 01:34:42
99 573 i dont doubt him having the fear of rejection, but just& think of& the devistation your sister felt when she learned she caught it, dont you think it would be just as, if not more devistating to know that you are potentially passing it on to someone who loves and trusts you very much......and giving them the same hurt, devastated feeling that you wished you never had?.................... would you say the same if it was HIV/AIDS that you sister was secreting hiding from her husband?? 2005-09-22 10:49:40
99 577 Hello there are two different types of the Herpies virus. Herpies 1 and Herpies 2. I caught the Herpies 2 virus last year in November. I had the blisters and boy, they were the most painful thing ever. I spent three days propped up on the sofa on top of a fan which was blowing cold air between my legs. To urinate I had to use this cream which numbed the area otherwise I was springing off the toilet seat in absolute hysteria with pain. My partner and I were both treated even though he had never had the virus, and I had performed oral sex on him two days before the blisters broke out. Since then, we have carried on like normal even with oral sex and we dont use condoms either. We dont sleep with anyone else so the risks of another breakout are limited to ourselves. We talked this through with the people at the GUM clinic and they strongly advised us to always use our own towels, and washing materials, never share our personal things even hair brushes, and always ensure that our bathroom is thoroughly cleaned after use. We have stuck to the advice to the letter and not had another breakout and touch wood we wont again. We had to include things in our diet too like extra vitiman C and B6 plus eat foods rich in iron like spinnach to boost our immune systems. If you look up the other highly contageous condition of Impetigo, the hygine rules are similar to that of herpies. Herpies 1 can present as colesores on the mouth, arm pits and under breast areas and sometimes between the thights. Herpies 2 is when the genitals have sores which swell, become extremely painful and weep. You can pass either of these on easily and without meaning to. Either by kissing, sharing cups or utencils, towels, and other things that come into contact with your body. On a personal note, we drove ourselves mad last year when this happened to me. I caught it from using a towel whilst away. I was sweating and so used someone elses bathroom while I was in their hotel room, and shouted out was it ok to use their towel to give myself a rinse. Needless to say I will NEVER be doing anything like that EVER again. I washed with water from the sink and wiped myself down inbetween my legs, around my breasts and under my arms. That was all it took. Lesson learned the hard way. I did not know this person well, hardly at all in fact. It was just someone who worked in our group occasionally. We went to pick up some paperwork from their room and I needed to use the toilet. It seemed like a good idea at the time to freshen up while I was in there. My Partner thought I had been unfaithful. We had couselling. He is ok now but cried when he saw the pain I was in and when he took me to the hospital after the doctor came to our house, he was emotional and worried sick. Neither of us knew what was going on. All I knew was pain. If I can just give you one piece of advice, both of you just get treated together and dont let this consume you. You are both together, faithful and love each other. Just get treated and get on with your lives. If either of you does break out again, just get treated again together. Share the experience and get treated at the same time. That way, there will be no resentment under the surface. What is done is done and cant be undone. You know about the condition now and your partner having had it before you were married. So move on. Get counselling at your local clinic if necessary. Quite a lot of people dont think that herpies is a big deal. That is until they get the herpies 2 virus. Then it does not seem so funny any more. People said to me "oh its only herpies, I have had that" and I used to look at them and think, how lax an attitude that was. Yes herpies 1 probably isnt a big deal but if you catch that after having a major operation like I did, or when you immune system is perhaps not as strong as it normally is, then it quickly develps into herpies 2. Anyway, I hope this all helps to put your mind at rest slightly. I would just both get treated together and not worry about it any more like we have done Princess [user=224]rosadog[/user] wrote: "another question about transmitting herpes: i have looked on different sites but they only answer general questions. the questions i would like to know answeres to are - 1.- i have read you can get herpes different places then just vaginal, anal, and oral... if you say that it can be caught from sharing a towel, does that mean you could get herpes anywhere the towel touches, like arms, legs,shoulders etc....??? ..also, if i have a breakout and i am drying myself with my own towel couldnt i then spread it all over myself??????- how does that work? 2.- medication only helps with holding back breakouts. but it does nothing to keep u from asymptomatically shedding the virus and transmitting it...(or does it)so, since my husband has only had 1 break out in 2 years and has not been on any medication, if i get diagnosed with it too as long as i dont have symptoms we should be fine having sex without condoms shouldnt we? or does this increase both our risks for having more breakouts. (obviously we would not be having sex at all if one of us had symptoms) 3.- oral sex is a no-no too i found out. but what if one of us is already infected in the mouth, would kissing be a no-no forever too? or do you have to have symptoms to be able to pass it from mouth to mouth?? i would hate to think i may never even be able to kiss him!!! .................i dont know about this stuff- hopefully some one else does!:( " 2005-09-23 18:33:04
102 547 Okay. So I have been sexually activefor the past 3months. Give or take. Everything has been great andfulfilling. Recently I haven't been able to get wet. I feel aroused but there is nothing to show for it. Please help me out. 2005-09-17 12:24:55
102 568 k-y jelly 2005-09-21 13:34:05
102 570 try astroglide too,& if you have a castle's near you, you might want to pop in.& they have so many different types of lube.& everyone is different.& try small bottles and see what works for you. 2005-09-22 01:24:59
103 550 Do you all fantasize when you maturbate to help you orgasm quicker or do you just pleasure yourself and not think of anything until you cum? I love to fantasize.& Sometimes I fantasize that I'm having sex while someone is watching me.& Sometimes, I fantasize that I'm with someone else other than my boyfriend or girlfriend. Stories please...do tell. 2005-09-17 16:09:26
103 554 Hello and Welcome to the group :) Have you read the main site pages on fantasising? www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_fantasy.htm Princess 2005-09-17 21:46:08
103 572 of course....i think every one fantasizes to some degree.& some more than others.& i like to look at porn, or home movies me and the fiance have made.& but everyone is different. 2005-09-22 01:36:33
104 553 To: Group Hi everyone, I am not new to this group but have been inactive for quite a while. The reason is that my job kept me quite busy and for some reason I did not find out that the Yahoo Group was closed (the message was probably lost somewhere in my Inbox). Anyway, with Brad's help, I'm back but am still having a problem replying to your posts and starting new topics so I've asked Brad to post on my behalf. What is the best way to get your partner to try out something new? For instance, my girlfriend has never shaved her pubic hairs. I shave occasionally and wanted to experience how it would feel for both of us to be cleanly shaved. However, since she really has never shaved before, I dont want to seem insensitive by suggesting it directly. How can I go about this? Sincerely, G'Trotter (email: ) Note: Make sure you have cookies enabled or the software will not be able to see that you have logged in. Brad 2005-09-17 17:44:25
104 561 If you do oral sex on her than you could say that you can't reach all of her sensitive areas (i hope i found the right word) and it could be more intensive for her. She should do it because she wants it by herself and not because you want it. Bye, Andy 2005-09-20 12:35:21
104 569 if u are partners you should be able to talk about stuff. i always say if i cant talk to him a shouldnt be sleeping with him. there really is no way to tip-toe around the question....just say to her "how come you have never tried shaving? not that i mind, but maybe it might be fun to try it once just to see how sex feels..." if she knows who u are at all she should know you arent being insensitive! 2005-09-21 13:39:12
104 731 Hello there. This is a rather interesting subject (I'm a male, right, of course it is!). There's a couple of reasons, as far as I can tell, why your girl might not want to get rid of the shag carpeting in the basement (let's see how well that joke goes over with the ladies :P). Firstly, she might be afraid. Really, shaving your pubic hair can be dangerous. Ever shaved your face?& I'm sure you cut yourself a couple times before you got it right, right? Now, imagine if your face was inbetween your legs and was folded like some Himalayan valleys. That's a little more difficult, eh? Not to mention how bad I can only imagine a nick or a scrape might feel! If that's the case, talk it out. Maybe you can convince her that you're a much more experienced "shaver" ;) & Secondly, maybe your girl has been warned about the "side effects". Although I've never met one, I hear from some reliable sources that those in the gynecological field advice that those hairs are important. If that's her hang-up, you might need to find a gynecologist who's a little inebriated (there's another one of those jokes, how'd ya like it?). Other than that, you may be stuck. & Thirdly (and lastly, God willing), maybe she's heard about what happens afterward. You know, the thick black hairs that come back, the ingrown ones, the razorburn, not to mention the uncomfortable feeling of little pokey hairs inbetween her legs. There's only one solution for that: waxing! And friend, if you're having trouble convincing her to even consider shaving, you're going to have to be a master debator (get it?) to convince her to put hot wax on that! & So, remember, if she's not willing to try it, you're either going to have to love it or leave it. It being her. Sometimes you just have to respect the decisions your partner makes regarding HER body. If you can't deal with it, pack 'er up, and get outta Dodge. & Six. 2005-10-29 00:39:54
104 734 If she doesn't like to shave, maybe she agrees to just cut her pubic hair? It looks good, helps a lot when you're doing oral an her, but has no side effects. & Steffi 2005-10-29 12:48:53
104 756 I do think suggesting her wax for a more sensual feeling is more likely for her to do it.& Another way, tell her you'd love to shave her.& Some women find that arousing. I know I would. & [user=301]six[/user] wrote: "Secondly, maybe your girl has been warned about the "side effects". Although I've never met one, I hear from some reliable sources that those in the gynecological field advice that those hairs are important. If that's her hang-up, you might need to find a gynecologist who's a little inebriated (there's another one of those jokes, how'd ya like it?). Other than that, you may be stuck. ""Ladybug's response: There are some gynecologists who do say that shaving is dangerous.& "" Thirdly (and lastly, God willing), maybe she's heard about what happens afterward. You know, the thick black hairs that come back, the ingrown ones, the razorburn, not to mention the uncomfortable feeling of little pokey hairs inbetween her legs. There's only one solution for that: waxing! And friend, if you're having trouble convincing her to even consider shaving, you're going to have to be a master debator (get it?) to convince her to put hot wax on that! ""Ladybug's response: It only appears to be thick hairs because the hair that was once shaven off has split.""I do recall reading that when shaving for the first time you should shave in the direction of the hair growth, and to not shave it completely bald.& Shave in the direction of the hair so your skin gets used to a razor running over it because the skin down there isn't yet used to it.& Then you eventually start shaving it bald going in the opposite direction for a smooth shave.& Wait a few days and proceed to shave again.& Getting the skin used to the razor can take awhile. ""Six. " 2005-11-05 17:16:52
108 564 it takes my boyfriend a real long time to climax during oral sex do anyone have any suggestions on howor what i can do to speed up the process?:? 2005-09-20 21:28:58
108 733 How long is too long? Are you in any kind of discomfort? & I know for me I can get oral sex for an hour and not come. Or, sometimes it only lasts fifteen minutes. It really depends on a lot of things. & However, if you need a tip just remember this - it's not about how fast you do it, it's all about rhythm. 2005-10-29 00:46:20
109 565 why is it that some men think that just because a woman gives birth to a baby that it shouldn't hurt during sex 2005-09-20 22:06:09
109 576 Hi and Welcome in short - lack of education perhaps talking this over may help? Princess 2005-09-23 18:08:46
110 574 & I love maserbation. I do it a lot. During maserbation, i insert fingers in my pussy. but i do not touch my clit at all .I think& all girls masterbate without ever stimulating their clit . what do you say. 2005-09-23 09:36:36
110 578 Hello lis no for me clitoral stimulation is a must during masturbation Princess 2005-09-23 18:34:53
110 580 I think most women touch their clit. Very few women don't need to touch it at all. And probably most would find that both clitoral and vaginal stimulation together work best since more area is being stimulated. 2005-09-24 23:24:12
110 581 I am a female. I know that clitotis is very important in female masterbation. However , every female is unique and responds in a different way during masterbation. ____________________ Please visit www.the-clitoris.com for more advice on this subject and feel free to continue discussions on here. Please do not advertise other sources of advice especially with a yahoo ( annonymous email address ) unless you run it by Brad first. Princess 2005-09-25 02:53:14
110 582 & Dear Lis..I htink that we masturbate in the way we learned when we were growing and discovered it, most of us touch or massage our clit , others just rub the whole vulva, others love to have something inside and stimulate the inner of the vagina& and many other ways; I love the clitoral stimulation by fingers or other way and also the vaginal insertion... My point is that there is no general rule as stimulation goes, just what you find more pleasurable, I do recommend to my friends just to devote some time to ourselves in private and explore every inch of our bodies to find those erotic places. Love and luck in your quest.....love.Luisa PS tou can write I'll answer 2005-09-25 12:32:56
110 589 This is quite an interesting topic... I had a girlfriend who actually involved me in her masturbation. I didn't realize it as masturbation at first but then figured it out. She used to get on top of me in the 'Cowgirl' position (aka woman on top position) and rub her vulva on my thigh or erect penis until she came. This was highly stimulating for me especially when she used my penis. While using my finger...she was not nearly as worked up and only came like this once. So I believe that not every woman likes to have fingers on her clit but I also believe that the clit still plays a huge role in most forms of female masturbation. 2005-09-27 05:26:41
111 575 I have a roommate. She says that when she masterbates and put her fingers in her pussy , she can feel sensation(both sexual and touch) only in outer one 3rd of her pussy& but does not feel sensations& in her inner two 3rd of her pussy.& according to her only outer one third of pussy is sensitive enough . Is it true. 2005-09-23 09:51:11
111 579 Hi try reading this page www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_methods.htm it may give you more insight into how others masturbate. Each woman is different. I find that my vulva, ( the outer 3rd you describe ) is very sensitive but not as sensitive as the inner vaginal area ( the inner 2 3rds you speak of ) and as the G-spot is situated quite high up behind the clitoris area, it is much more sensitive inside. When my partner is stimulating me with his hands or fingers, and touches deep inside me even with one finger it is more stimulating than just the outer third. Princess 2005-09-23 18:40:44
112 583 Me and my girlfriend have decided after 3 years that we are ready for intercourse but we both are concerned regarding her pregency. Please help us. We arenot ready for a child right now at all. We would like to know as to which contraceptives should we prefer oral contraceotives for her or simply a usage of a condom by me will do just fine.... please help .... needed urgently!! 2005-09-25 21:28:39
112 585 Hello jackbrown101 and welcome to the group :) For the first part, have you or your partner been to a family planning clinic for advice? There are so many contraceptives available nowadays. Injections and condoms may be suitable. The injection lasts for three months and your partner wont have to worry about taking the pill each day. All she needs do is go back to the doctor's or family planning clinic and have another one every three months. Condoms are strongly recommended for the prevention of spreading STD's but if this is the first time for both of you, then perhaps this would be more down to personal preference. It may be fun in any case to try using a condom so you have the experience. You are right to worry about pregnancy. There are other barrier methods of contraceptives available other than the condom but they dont prevent the spreading of diseases. The cap or diaphram for example. Then there is the contraceptive pill which needs to be taken every day. Some people swear by the injection over the pill. I would gather as much info on each method as you can to enable you both to make an informed decision together. The family planning clinic would be your best source as you could talk face to face there and come away with condoms as they are usually given out there to everyone. Good luck with your endevours and please dont hesitate to ask questions on the various methods of contraception as you learn about them. Princess 2005-09-26 10:54:43
112 718 i came to know that pills have some some side effects like dizziness etc. Can u tell me wether pills are in any way harmful in the longrun or do they affect if one would need to stop them .... as i have heard that condoms arent always 100% effective. 2005-10-23 06:29:00
112 719 Hi, There are numerous potential side affects associated with the use of hormonal contraceptives, but there are more potential side affects associated with pregnancy and delivery. The potential consequences of an unwanted pregnancy are certainly significant too. My concern with their use is that doctors actually know little about how hormones work within an "individual" woman's body, they are playing the odds. The hormone dosages have changed significantly since they were introduced, the dosages have decreased significantly. The reason a male contraceptive pill has not come about is because of the adverse side affects they cause. I have to wonder if a female pill would be approved today given the potential side affects and stricter regulations.& I personally would not recommend women take the pill, that is my gut feeling not a scientific opinion. But I would not fault a woman who chooses to use them either. While they are assumed and advertised to be 99% effective they are actually around 92% effective, which still leaves a significant risk of pregnancy. While doctors prescribe them like candy, and assume they are what women should and do want, women should educate themselves before using them. Doctors are also routinely prescribing them to regulate menstrual cycles and to reduce menstrual flow and cramps, they are presumed& to be the quick and easy fix, or they are the only option doctors have. The problem I see is that teens are prescribed them long before they become sexually active and there is no way of knowing if they are the cause of her current sexual difficulties involving desire and sensitivity to sexual stimulation. I have friends who do not want to take the Pill or who have experienced adverse side affects. My main concern is that some bad side affects have not gone away when their use was stopped. Here are links to more detailed information: [url=www.aafp.org/afp/991101ap/2073.html] www.aafp.org/afp/991101ap/2073.html On the following page note the difference in expected and actual effectiveness of the different birth control methods. [url=www.drugs.com/PDR/Ovral_Tablets.html] www.drugs.com/PDR/Ovral_Tablets.html More information: [url=www.healthsquare.com/newrx/ora1310.htm] www.healthsquare.com/newrx/ora1310.htm [url=www.ewtn.com/library/PROLIFE/OCSIUDS.TXT] www.ewtn.com/library/PROLIFE/OCSIUDS.TXT [url=www.youngwomenshealth.org/med-uses-ocp.html] www.youngwomenshealth.org/med-uses-ocp.html On& this page [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraceptive_pill]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraceptive_pill& it states: method effectiveness: is the Pearl index number for use under perfect conditions. The method effectiveness Pearl index for the Pill has been measured as low as 0.3 and as high as 1.25, which means that under ideal conditions, anywhere from 0.3 to 1.25 out of 100 users will become [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnant] pregnant during one year of perfect use (Pearl index = 0.3 to 1.25). user effectiveness: is the Pearl index number for use under typical conditions. The user effectiveness measured by the Pearl index for the Pill has been measured as low as 2.15 and as high as 8.0, which means that anywhere from 2.15 to 8.0 out of 100 women will become [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnant] pregnant during the first year of typical use (Pearl index = 2.15 to 8.0). [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_contraceptive#endnote_2] [2] [/suP] [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_contraceptive#endnote_3] [3] [/suP] [url=www4.nau.edu/fronske/brochures/bcp.html] www4.nau.edu/fronske/brochures/bcp.html This page [url=www.infoforhealth.org/pr/a10/a10chap1.shtml] www.infoforhealth.org/pr/a10/a10chap1.shtml& looks at the effectiveness around the world. Choosing an appropriate birth control method is not always an easy choice for a couple. Another thing to consider is that condoms should always be used to prevent the spread of disease, at least for dating couples, which is just about everyone not in a long term relationship.& If you don't see your current partner as your partner in 10 years you probably should be using a condom.& I know a& couple of my female friends have contacted sexually transmitted diseases from their partners. I get e-mails from very anxious young women who fear they are or will become pregnant. There is no way they could possible& enjoy intercourse because it causes significant anxiety. The simple truth is that some couples& should not be engaging in intercourse because the potential negative consequences are too great. If there would be dire consequences if you or your partner become pregnant then you shouldn't engage in intercourse. The use of birth control does not necessarily change that. Brad 2005-10-23 12:21:13
113 584 As my girlfriend is a little scared about the pain that she might have during her first time can u help me as to what lubricants to use. As we are staying in India we do not have access to K-Y Jelly or other smilar products atleast not that we are aware of!!! What kind oils can be used for the same also please help us regarding her fear of the pain.... is it really that bad .... if not please tell me how do i explain that to her....(THATS THE DIFFICULT PART!!!!!!) 2005-09-25 21:33:33
113 586 Hello again jackbrown101 Try ensuring that she is nicely relaxed first before attempting any sort of penetration. You could try massaging sweet almond or grapeseed oil into her vulva. Almond oil should be readily available in India. The pain that is felt with the first penetration is not "painful" it is more unusual as it is something which her body would not have been used to. Just make sure that she is ready for penetration by using lots of foreplay first. Stimulating her mentally as well as physically will make a lot of difference. Princess 2005-09-26 10:58:35
113 588 I second the suggestion for sweet almond oil. You may also ask her to try putting her finger in herself first, so she can get used to the sensation of having something inside. Make sure you're both relaxed and maybe you can ask her to guide you inside with her hand so she feels more in control of the situation. 2005-09-27 02:22:37
113 598 Hi, This subject is addressed on detail on the pages linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm Brad 2005-09-27 23:41:42
113 601 Hmm.. if almond oil works, would sunflower cooking oil/olive oil work as well? :) 2005-09-28 03:45:20
113 603 Hi olive oil does work but it is so rich it is not that good. Plus the smell and taste does kind of not gel with natural body smells and fluids if you see what I mean. Sunflower oil is no good neither are any of the vegetable oils. Peach Kernal oil is good as well as grapeseed oil. Jojohba oil is very good especially on the anus. Coconut oil not so good on the penis or inside the vagina as it is too thick and greasy. I cant think of any more now but will come up with a list later when I have more time. Any oil which is used in Aromatherapy as a "base" or "carrier" oil should be ok and safe to use as a natural lubricant. Princess 2005-09-28 09:22:42
113 610 So, if I had no choice, olive oil would be better than sunflower oil, then? 2005-09-30 22:27:09
113 818 hi, um.. is using baby oil good? I tried it for giving bf a handjob, but not with penetration... & 2005-11-15 15:20:26
113 823 ya....i had the same question regarding the use of baby oil for lubricants i have heard from many people that baby oil can be used i would seriosly like ur expertise in this matter as baby oil is pretty much available everywhere....;) 2005-11-18 11:58:51
113 824 Hi it is trial and error with things like baby oil. It irritated my vulva and that irritation developed into thrush. It felt great at the time but I would not be using it again. I stick to gels made from natural materials. Woods Of Windsor do a rose gel and a cucumber cream gel which are both really great. I also love SBC gels particularly their Vitamin E one. SBC ( Simply Beautiful Cosmetics ) is mostly available online and from QVC. The gel is light, does not dry up quickly and is vitamin enriched. It doesnt taste of anything in particular and feels good inside the vagina as well so makes a good lubricant. Hope this helps and please bare in mind that these are my own personal choices. Princess 2005-11-18 13:59:50
114 587 My girlfriend isn't having orgasisms with pentetration. The only way I can make her cum is by rubbing my hard dick between her legs in the missionary postition with my dick down between her lips. She states it has always been like that for her. I am well endowed and have always been pretty good at licking pussy too, but I have even had trouble giving her an orgasism by eating her pussy too. She does not want me to put my fingers in her pussy and rub her g spot which I am very good at. She doesn't want my fingers down there at all. She loves me alot and is gorgeous and the only person that really seems to have a problem with this is me since it has always been that way for her. She won't even let me use a vibrator on her either. She states I am the best lover she has ever had which I believe because I have heard that with the last 5 women I have slept with, but it is a slight blow to my ego to not be able to give her an oragasim by licking it or penetration. I understand her pain. Before her no woman could make me cum by giving me head, but she figured it out and can suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch and makes me cum everytime. I want to return her the favor. Any suggestions. 2005-09-26 17:40:12
114 592 Hello, not all women can cum through penetration. I cant without clitoral stimulation as well. I would get the idea that you are an amazing lover out of your mind. It is doing you no good at all. If you keep focusing on that, you will end up not being able to live up to your own expertations at all. Just because you may have had success with five women and they found you to be red hot, does not mean that other women, your partner included, will. Each woman is shaped differently on the inside as well as on the outside. What works with one may not, and often doesnt, work for another. Keep focusing on what feels good for your lover. If she has orgasms the way you describe, then carry on giving her that special gift. Once she is ready to try out or experiment with different methods of stimulation, she will let you know. Try encouraging her to speak to other women about what works for them. She may be feeling slightly odd. There is no need for her to feel like this as we all have our own special feelings about what feels good for us individually. Speaking to other women, on here perhaps, may give her new insight. You may also want to show her the clitoris main web site. There are heaps of information pages on there that I am sure will inspire her to try out different things. Does she masterbate at all? Encourage her to do this on her own. She has to get to know her own body and her reflex system herself then she can share this with you. Princess 2005-09-27 09:37:57
114 593 she does not masterbate at all. She never has which is very new to me. It doesn't turn her on to masterbate. She has a problem with men touching her pussy also i think it is because her mon's ex boyfriend molested her as a young girl althoug she has no problem with intercourse. She says I am the first person to regularly touch her there even though she is 28 which makes me feel good because she trust me and I make her feel comforatable. She likes it when I give her a reach around when I penatrate her anally and she likes it when I put my finger in her butt and play with it while I go down on her. She won't let me put my fingers in her pussy when I go down on her though. I guess my problem is she says I am not using my finger in her ass enough when I go down on her. Thats what she says.If I could just get the ass thing right. She likes the combination of pleasure and pain.Alright I'll get it out of my mind that I am and amazing lover. Your right.& The only& girl that matters& if I please is her.& & I think I just need to take a day off of work& and go to town on her till I get it right. Thank you for your advice 2005-09-27 14:33:25
114 594 I also can't come without clitoral stimulation but honestly I don't see it as a problem that I have to 'fix'. And the only two women I know willing to talk about sex also never come just from penetration. I have an idea, not sure if it'll work but maybe worth a try. Stop aiming to make her come with oral sex, try to see how far you can go before orgasm.. make it a game (this time 6, then 8... so on). Probably this will make you and her less nervous and am sure with time you'll get closer and closer. Problem is it's very hard to come when a guy is between your legs anxious to give you an orgasm and you're wondering if you're taking too long :S 2005-09-27 14:36:58
114 596 I agree in part with Kay here. Sex and Love Making should not be about achieving orgasm but more like pleasuring and sharing with each other. Focus on that side of things for a while. Try reverse psychology. Tell her you are taking the day off. There will be romance and love and a lot of touching between you both. Massaging that type of gentle caress. Then tell her that she is not allowed to orgasm no matter what happens. It may work. If she is letting you, and loving it by the sounds of things, play with her anus, then there just seems to be a mental block. She may feel odd about the length of time it takes her to orgasm. You say she likes pleasure and pain, so tease the living daylights out of her without touching inbetween her legs at all. Dont got into her anus either. You may very well surprise yourself, and her :) We have another group which you are both welcome to join too if you are interested. It is for people who were sexually abused or whom have or still are experiencing incest. You can ask questions on there about your thoughts on her having been molested. It may help. The link is sexabuseandincest.mywowbb.com/ Princess 2005-09-27 16:12:20
114 600 Hi, I believe it is more important to do what she wants or needs rather than what you want and expect. I don't believe the problem is with her but with your expectations. She isn't like your past girlfriends. Keep in mind that on average& about 1 out of 10 orgasms is faked, and on average only about 1 out of 2 sexual activities/techniques result in orgasm. So you really can't be sure what really did or didn't work for your past partners. Some women fake every orgasm, others rarely. Brad 2005-09-27 23:55:05
114 777 May be she has the lack of desire. A friend of mine has used women supplements (Sentia) and From the way she speaks about sex now she is very pleased. She says she achieves orgasms fast and easy. 2005-11-07 09:11:59
114 1108 I can tell you this. A girl I dated for over a year was mostly\only stimulated by rubbing the clitorious area, and that was it. Regular penitration, did notihing for her. Nothing. So I would end up giving her mulitple orgasms, like 10-15 in a row, all by firece, and I mean fierce rubbing of the clit. She would wet the bed, scream, really awesome for a time. But truthfully, it got a little old. There was not much in return from her sex wise. She just was into little else but having her clit rubhbed, she loved it, and just not anything else. SO, anyway, that was not the reason we broke up. But I have talked to other woman who say they are not stimulated by penitration, it is just a physical thing, nerve endings sensitivity, etc. So, good luck. I have also talked to guys who ran into the same situation that I did, all the woman wanted was her clit rubbed, and nothing else. Again, a lot of fun for me for months, then just got a little old, I would get nothing in return. I like a woman who loves all sex, that is the best. I think I found one to, highly sensitive everywhere. Really awesome 2006-01-30 14:51:13
115 590 Hi everyone, I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine and we were sharing stories about the most interesting places that we had sex. For me, one of the most interesting places was on the roof of my girlfriend's house while her family were inside. There were quite a lot of trees in the yard but I was still afraid that one of the neighbors would see us. It was a cloudless night with the stars out and it felt pretty nice to have the wind on my nake butt. What is your experience? 2005-09-27 05:52:45
115 591 Hello and what an interesting thread :) Years ago, when I was about seventeen, I was consumed with passion one night outside on a college camping trip. Me and my boyfriend at the time were kissing and ended up having sex. During the act, I looked over to my left and realised that we had, in our quest to find some privacy outside at night whilst on a camping weekend with at least a hundred and fifty other students and staff, ended up on the edge of an outdoor chapel. That really should have killed the moment but it didnt :) Princess 2005-09-27 09:27:47
115 595 interesting :cool: Well, outdoors behind some trees and bushes between a street and a path.. I agree the night air is really nice. My bf was so excited he came twice in less than 5 minutes. And... near a deserted British military center in the country side in Germany. We were having a walk there and then thought why not?! 2005-09-27 14:46:41
115 597 ....... and why not indeed :) Good for you both! I have been in a field in Northumberland UK and only came back down to earth when a helicopter fllew over :) Now that was an experience! It is fun to experiment with places I think. It always amazes me when I hear people talking about where they have dared to have sex. I know a couple who regularly have sex just on the edge of public places just because the thrill of almost being caught at it excites them. They can see people walking past fairly close by and she even waves occasionally with a friendly jesture while she is on top. But she says that the thought of knowing how daringly randy they are being and no one knows really turns her on. Princess :) 2005-09-27 16:17:39
115 599 Hi, I was driving on a long road trip and& playing with my former girlfriend's pussy when a large bus passed us coming from the opposite direction. It didn't dawn on me right away that from the driver's position he might have seen quite a bit. We were out in the middle of nowhere, so not a lot of traffic and the road pretty straight. Certainly made her wet though! :P Brad 2005-09-27 23:48:38
115 602 Hi Brad Good for you :) That would have got me going somewhat too! Princess 2005-09-28 09:17:56
115 607 Now that we are bringing all the stories out one interesting (and exciting) one comes to mind. My girlfriend at the time invited a lot of people over at her house for a pool party. Her parents had agreed thinking that we would leave afterwards but she convinced them that it was too late for us to go home so we should just sleep over. Her parents innocently agreed and cooked dinner for us. Actually she had planned this all along to get me to sleep at her house and the party and everyone else was camoflage! ;) That night after sleeping arrangements were decided I ended up in the same room as her (what a coincidence). When we thought everyone was asleep we started kissing and petting. But there were other people in the room so I was not comfortable so I suggested that we go to the living room and she agreed. We had passionate sex right there in the living room and were only disturbed once by the family cat! I was so excited because she was making loud noises and I thought her parents or someone else would& come out any moment!& Needless to say it was probably my best sexual experience with her.& After we were spent and had returned to the room I found out in the dark that she didn't have on her underwear... I asked her why and she said she wanted to be as close to me as possible that night! In the morning she was back to being the innocent daughter with a bunch of friends over at her house...Wow!:) 2005-09-30 00:55:49
115 608 To Princess and Kay, Sex in a field of grass is definitely on my list of must do's...I think its intensely erotic to make love in the woods or fields... To Brad, I always fantasize about sex in a car on a stretch of& quite highway...lets see if that happens. 2005-09-30 01:00:50
115 609 Hi Workit yes, I have to agree. My field experience ranks top on my list of best ever experiences :) Princess 2005-09-30 06:53:14
115 723 One of my favourite sexual experiences was with an ex boyfriend. We were staying at my parent's holiday house by the beach for a week. We went for a long walk one day and ended up making love on the soft sandy shore on a few towels with our swimsuits rearranged discreetly...& in broad daylight for anyone to see!! Luckily it was midweek and in the offseason so not many people actually saw it but it was still exciting to be in that situation. My second time having sex& was with my boyfriend at the time on some children's playground equipment in a park at night. It certainly allowed for a few interesting angles and positions! A friend of mine told us about masterbating while driving a long highway drive and how exciting it was, I've tried to convince my boyfriend to partake in some sexual activity whilst driving but he's a bit afraid. I guess safety really should pervail and sex driving really shouldn't be condoned, but it sounds so fun! Maybe I should masterbate for him while he's driving :D& 2005-10-27 01:20:50
115 852 If "sex" doesn't have to include intercourse, one of my fondest memories is persuading my next-door neighbor -- who was my sex partner for more than a decade and quite a tomboy, as well -- to accompany me on a climb up a gigantic maple tree in the woods next to my house so we could see all the way down to Long Island Sound, which was about seven miles away. We got as high as we dared go -- probably a good 50 feet -- and sat facing each other in the crotch (pun intended) of two sturdy branches. It was so exhilirating being that high off the ground -- and in no small danger -- that it didn't take us very long to undo each other's clothes and give each other a thorough -- whaddaya call it? -- massage, not to mention a most excellent makeout session. Hope this qualifies! 2005-11-28 10:31:46
116 604 i am a 31 year old female. and all my life i think i must have been oblivious to what some other women are thinking about being visual, liking porn and liking the male body. The reason is that i have always found looking at or just seeing a GOOD LOOKING guy naked or with an erection very stimulating. Also pornography and seeing women penetrated by men and even gay sex. I especially like looking at naked men with men . You get two see 2 naked guys instead of 1 and theyre really enjoying the moment. But I have been accessing the internet now for some years and have been reading comments from other women on how men dont have attractive bodies and that naked men dont turn them on . I am confused, i asked all my girlfriends and they agree with me that as long as a guy is hot is a huge turn on to see them naked and its the most natural thing in the world! I enjoy seing naked women, but more as a part of aprreciating theyre bodies and imagining being looked at by guys. I never thought i was weird before, but am i unusual to get turned on by a guy naked? & I mean if i see a guy on tv in the showers say on a soap it turns me on ? 2005-09-29 15:19:33
116 605 Hi, not at all wierd... I also find the naked male body very very arousing, however naked women don't do much for me though I dont mind looking:) I find the thighs especially arousing and obviously the genitals. And I also find myself sometimes aroused in what would be considered wierd: there was a huge ad on the streets where I live showing a guy in a sauna. He was sitting down and had a towel wrapped around him; it was so obvious that it wasn't meant to be erotic at all (some ad for the redcross). The first time I saw it I was so turned on by his sweaty and slightly spread legs my panties were wet :shock::) The biggest turn on is a man's face when he's coming or about to. I think we talked about it somewhere else here that it would be cool if there was porn aimed at women :) 2005-09-29 16:27:45
116 606 Thank You Kay for your response i feel a bit better. I would like some more responses for others if i may . Hey if some women dont like men bodies etc please tell me and maybe you can explain what dosent turn you on or does etc and why Il appreciate any help I can get Thank You 2005-09-29 16:58:32
116 612 Claire, I agree with you entirely. I am very aroused by the male body. I prefer gay porn to straight porn simply because straight porn always seems to focus on the female body. I want to see naked men instead! lol. I don't think you're weird at all. Sara 2005-10-02 01:22:56
116 614 I am a guy and I have not watched gay porn before but I am not turned on by another guy's body. However I am turned on by a penis going in and out of a vagina. So much so that I do not like sex in the dark or using positions that prevent me from seeing my penis go in and out of a vagina. Something crazy happened once... I was having sex with my girlfriend in a dark room and could not turn on the lights because we didn't want other people to know what we were doing so I used the light from my cell phone to 'catch the action'!! 2005-10-02 08:39:53
116 637 yup the penis moving in and out is a huge turn on and what I also like is watching my bf's hips moving and his legs' muscles working at it :) Right now, if am watching our personal home-made videos, I orgasm rather quickly (5 or 10 minutes). Without any visual stimulation or outside help, it takes me around 20 minutes to orgasm (I just keep getting distracted so takes a while to focus :)) 2005-10-04 12:41:13
116 643 Hi Kay...watching a guy's face when he is or is about to come is fascinating..isn't it? I find if your hair is in the guy's face, he comes very fast... 2005-10-05 21:44:07
116 644 Yeah, the penis going in and out of the vagina is great to watch...a good technique also is to use a mirror, so she can see it pistoning in and out and getting wetter each time...it is alos great to watch when the balls slap the inner thighs... 2005-10-05 21:46:40
116 648 Fascinating is the word!!!& :D& interesting about the hair, I have long hair but i always have to keep it from his face otherwise it tickles him. I've only used a mirror so far to look at both of us from far, didn't try using on to zoom in on the action :cool:, will try that soon :) 2005-10-06 10:49:01
116 660 Hair in his face tickles?...that is too funny! but try a mirror for up near... it's fascinating as you say to watch a penis going in and out of a vagina... 2005-10-08 22:58:24
117 611 After a short while (less than a minute), my vaginal muscles will contract hard, and then pulse/spasm for a bit, sort of. I take that to mean I have successfully began to arouse myself. But then what? Either I lose the strength/willpower to continue rubbing my clit fast enough when that happens, or there's something else I should be doing, because more often than not it just stops there, and my clit becomes so sensitive that I can't seem to bear touching it any longer. How do the rest of you feel when you masturbate? I don't mean how you do it, or& how great the pleasure is& -- I mean the physical feeling, like muscle contractions, etc. Also, silly Q, but how do you KNOW you've achieved orgasm? :/ 2005-09-30 23:34:57
117 613 Well, I know I've achieved orgasm when I experience exactly what you have described--pulsating contractions of the vaginal muscles. At the same time, my entire body tenses up, sending a tingling feeling from my toes to my head. Also, the hypersensitivity of the clitoris you've described is common immediately after orgasm. I think you became so focused on the goal of orgasm that you just assumed you were not reaching it. Hope that helps. Sara 2005-10-02 01:28:22
117 617 Hi I understand your frustration..the process you follow is about the normal process I follow but I'll recomend something that worked for me: find a place private and be sure nobody will interrupt, get naked. light a perfumed candle , get soft music and if you like scented oils you can rub yourself, get a mirror and start to examine your body and caress it slowly noting the most sensitive places like, your butt, or labia or whole vulva, nipples, neck, lips..etc you will be surprised to find places that when are touched send you a shiver of pleasure and try no to be anxious to get an orgasm it will develop slowly and also you may use erotic toys. One hting for sure is& that I do not believe they are two orgasms the same, for me an orgasm is osmething out of the normal that happens after being sexually stimualted and it could involve some ejacualtion. Good luck love Luisa PS if you want to write look my profile 2005-10-02 20:46:33
117 621 But that's -all-? I mean, it certainly doesn't seem like the 'out-of-the-world' experience frequently heard about. I can even continue watching the porn vids I was watching (and know what happened!),& the rest of my body feels somewhat the same, only my vagina contracts hard and then pulses a little. And sometimes it happens within less than 5secs of touching my clit, especially when I'm watching porn. How do I have subsequent orgasms within that period of time, then? Even if I continue rubbing it doesn't seem to work, and I can't bring myself to rub harder due to hypersensitivity of clit. And does taking longer to achieve orgasm -really- help? The 'contractions'& I've had within 5 seconds and within a few mins don't seem to have any difference.. 2005-10-03 02:29:46
117 631 First of all, I'd like to say, thanks, guys. From all the replies and further reading, I realized that I did experience what most people would consider an orgasm, albeit a single, short, and mild one. The thing is, I can't seem to get beyond there, due to the hypersensitive clit.& How soon after the first will the subsequent orgasms usually come? If I wait long enough for the clit to get less sensitive (resolution phase?) I find I just don't feel aroused anymore! Also, I realized I do tense up, and experience a tingling sensation throughout my body, even if I didn't notice it before. But I don't pass out or ejaculate or anything of the sort. 2005-10-04 03:08:24
117 3635 I have EXACTLY the same problem.& After less then a minute, my body spasms, I feel quite plesurable (nothing amazing)& and after that I cannot continue, I no longer 'feel like it'.& I really want to know how to prolong the experience or how to achiever multiple orgasms/ejaculation.& Sorry if this sounds wierd :?. 2007-02-04 08:34:08
117 3672 I don't think it sounds wierd at all.& I think this is a great topic.& I remember trying to joke about myself for this, saying I sometimes have 'premature orgasms' (when in fact I didn't think it was a joke) and there have been some points when I worried that something might be wrong with me.& I find that sometimes taking little cat naps and various relaxation techniques and then resuming masturbation can be helpful.& I've also discovered that my issues have psychological and hormonal causes and/or explanations, so I'm trying to straighten those issues out as well.& Hope this helps.& Take care.:) 2007-02-10 03:21:00
118 615 Hi everyone, I would like to have your opinion regarding oral sex. Everywhere I turn I see or hear of people performing oral sex (cunnilingus/fellatio) as a means of safe sex. How safe is it? Even in porno movies where condoms are used, there is still a lot of oral sex. I notice that quite a few couples see oral sex more as a sign of intimacy rather than a sure way to orgasm. What's your opinion on this? 2005-10-02 08:52:57
118 788 I'm not an expert but I think this question should not remain unanswered. I never considered oral safe and to my knowledge it is not. That is if you define safer sex as safe with respect to STDs. The interesting part is why people sometimes consider oral sex safe. A lot of people are more afraid of pregnancies than they are of diseases. (How stupid? Most people theoretically could manage to feed a child if "it happens".) I think that explain a lot. And then, there is kind of a hierachy (like holding hands - kissing - touching - getting undressed - "sexual something" - "actual sex") where "actual sex" mostly means intercourse and "something" could be oral. When it comes to actual sex we are taught to play it safe. However, unless we are having "real sex" we are trying to be more relaxed, merely having a good time, no need to worry about anything, no time to worry.... 2005-11-08 18:50:27
118 789 Hi, oral sex can transmit STDs like the HIV virus, although it is less risky than intercourse. I think in order of how risky it is, oral sex is the least risky, intercourse comes next, and most risky is anal sex 2005-11-09 05:23:55
118 790 As everyone else has stated, Oral sex is only safe when it comes to pregnancies.& As for spreading diseases, it's highly possible. That's why it's always safe to use condoms/dental dams.& Unless you are completely 100% positive you both are disease free. 2005-11-09 21:25:13
118 929 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "As everyone else has stated, Oral sex is only safe when it comes to pregnancies. As for spreading diseases, it's highly possible. That's why it's always safe to use condoms/dental dams. Unless you are completely 100% positive you both are disease free. " it's not "highly" possible. rate of transmission with oral sex is significantly lower than with intercourse or anal sex due to the nature of the membranes and the types of fluids in the mouth (the mouth is very hostile towards HIV in particular). other diseases are solely genital diseases. also, oral isn't necessarily pregnancy proof either. it's possible for semen to be transferred by a kiss and wind up in the vagina during cunnilingus (and anal sex is also not foolproof against pregnancy for that matter). that said, the only safe sex is no sex. 2005-12-30 08:08:01
118 933 Hi, I saw the following linked to magazine article while on a trip but could not find a copy for myself when I went to the store,& but I just found it on line. [url=www.discover.com/issues/oct-05/departments/the-biology-of-saliva/] www.discover.com/issues/oct-05/departments/the-biology-of-saliva/ Brad 2005-12-30 16:00:27
119 618 Hello there-- I just discovered the clitoris website today, and i cannot even begin to say how much it's helped me understand a lot about myself. I'm seventeen, and I've always been very sexual but just recently discovered what a clitoris is..I know, I know, but I was raised catholic and it was just never discussed. Anyway, on to my question. I don't know entirely how to talk about this, or if I'm even in the right place, but if anyone has any advice or whatever I'd love it. Basically, about a year or two ago, I dont remember exactly when, I started to get wet when fantasizing and masturbating and stuff. Just getting horny, though, came with the intense feeling of needing to urinate, so much so that I never knew which came first, getting horny or having to pee. And sometimes, I'd get so wet that I wasn't sure what it was that was coming out of me. So anyway, I've been assosiating that feeling with sexual feelings. However, let's see, to make a long story short, I have a long distance boyfriend and we engage in phone sex conversations that are nothing like just fantasizing on my own...and so I am a lot wetter. A LOT. I don't know if this is normal. It sometimes seems like its just flowing out, even when i'm not coming. I'm scared its not what's supposed to be coming out. I want to find out more about this, but i can't find anything online and I just don't know what to do. Especially for when I'll be with my boyfriend soon--I don't want to be embarrased by how soaked i get everything. So thanks for any help and comments, I appreciate it! 2005-10-02 21:21:38
119 619 I think it's called female ejaculation. Search for subjects related to it (like g-spot) and your doubts will be answered. 2005-10-02 21:35:52
119 624 Hello coteroo and welcome to our group :) Yes you are in the right place. First off, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a perfectly normal functioning sexual young woman. I will talk about the urge to pee first. This is what we feel prior to an intense orgasm. It is quite shocking at first and it can mentally act as a barrier for us enjoying ourselves later on when we are with our partners. Let me tell you - no matter how intense the urge to pee is, you wont. The body has a shut off mechanism for the uretha and urine wont come out. Now moving on to the liquid. This is all part of being aroused. The amount of discharge that is produced varies from woman to woman. Sometimes you may not produce as much and other times you may feel like a waterfall is going on. This is all natural and again, perfectly normal. The liquid is produced as a natural lubricant. Make the most of it as later on in life in a couple of decades you may experience the complete opposite and have dryness instead. When you are with your boyfriend, please do not worry about being wet or feeling like you want to empty your bladder. If you dwell on this, it may ruin the experience for you a little as you will be preoccupied. You know you are able to experience an orgasm. You know you have a clitoris and how to stimulate it. You know you have all the right bits in all the right places. Just set the scene in your mind next time you have phone sex. Mention that you are dripping wet. Then when you are together if you feel a little self conscious about the amount of fluid you produce when getting aroused, laugh it off and say something like "well I told you I get dripping wet for you". Trust me, it will be a huge turn on at the time when your boyfriend sees just how aroused you become. Above all else, enjoy your body and yourself. There is only one of you. Princess :) 2005-10-03 13:56:34
119 628 thank you very much for you comments! this makes me feel so much better, i can't even tell you. i'll definatly take that suggestion of mentioning it. thanks again! 2005-10-03 16:45:04
119 635 Hi, You can get an idea of the amount of lubrication other women experience by the results of the survey about sexual arousal on the website, linked to below: [url=www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=966966231] www.misterpoll.com/results.mpl?id=966966231 Some women also experience female ejaculation during sexual arousal and that is addressed on the same survey. Brad & 2005-10-04 10:41:39
119 636 As far as I know, men LOVE it when a woman is completely wet so no need to worry... u know, you shouldn't worry even if a guy doesn't like it :) but I don't think you'll find one easily. 2005-10-04 12:35:13
119 642 Getting VERY wet during arousal is normal...andsometimes it gets very gooey.. 2005-10-05 21:41:24
120 620 As I was recently in the middle of intercourse, while my boyfriend reached down he said he felt something. Later I looked and sure enough there is a small whitish bump, its not big but easily irritated, not itchy but painful to touch, there is only one and it looks to me like a pimple of sorts. I am not sure whether or not to worry about this, nothing has happened as such before, I just wanted to know if any of you have expirienced this before, and what you did to treat it. For now I will just leave it alone untill I can see a doctor. Still, moral support from the fellow female race. 2005-10-03 00:52:50
120 625 Hello Cherry Vegas It is possible to get spots like pimples around the vaginal area on the lips, just inside the vulva and around the pubic hair region. These are normal. But there is a condition called genital warts. This is not normal and is an STD. If the bump is behaving like a normal pimple, and bursts the same way a normal spot does on another part of the body ( face, shoulders or back etc. ) then it is nothing to worry about. If the spot is like a blister, this will need to be checked out by a doctor as it could be herpies related. If the bump is not like a spot, white and like a small growth rather than something you can pop, then please ask your doctor to look for genital warts. Chances are it is just a normal pimple. I have had one or two over the years. I hope this answers your question and helps a little. I cant stop you worrying about this but I am here if you need a chat. Princess 2005-10-03 14:03:49
120 626 Thank you much Princess...Ill have it checked out. 2005-10-03 15:43:45
120 627 It's ok. I am sorry but I forgot to mention before, you can bath in a quarter filled bath with five to eight drops of Patchuli essential oil. This must be pure not diluted. When you put the drops into the bath water, swish the water about with your hand before you get in. This breaks up the pure oil and dispurses it in amongst the water. Patchuli is a natural remedy for treating vaginal infections and or irritations. Do not use any soap or cleaning agent in the bath to wash. The bath is purely for relaxing in whilst the oil gets to work on your delicate skin. Gently wash yourself with the water alone with nothing else added. If this turns out to be just a normal pimple, and it bursts, this will aid the healing a great deal and may even minimalise the soreness. Let me know how you get on. Princess 2005-10-03 16:20:26
120 630 Thanks, I love patchoulli....So i will definately pick up some oil and use it, hopefully it works. Ill let you know how it goes. Much grattitude ~CV 2005-10-03 23:36:07
120 866 I actually have a similar thing. It reminds me of acne a lot. I burst it the first time like a normal pimple.But it has been around the pubic hair region for over two weeks. I always clean down there, so it's not a matter of that, and I have been using a special anti-bacterial acne rinse to see if it would clear it up, but it is still there, and relatively painful. Now it's a bit sorer and redder, and I want to leave it alone for a bit more to see if it will clear up on it's own, but it doesn't look like it. Perhaps it's still infected? I don't know what to look for at a "blister". 2005-12-04 23:45:25
120 867 Hi I recommend going straight to your doctor's to see if you need antibiotics. It could be that it was a normal pimple area and then you have inflamed it somehow. Jeans, nylon underwear, too much acidic food in your diet, or using something different to wash with than you normally do. It could be hormones, or another imbalance. Dont take any chances. As it has now become red and it hurts, they shouldnt hurt, so get the spots checked out. I hope everything works out for you and do let me know what the doctor says. Princess 2005-12-05 07:46:11
120 869 If it goes untreated and becomes an infection, what are the risks? It's just painful to the touch. I also have a cold at this time, could that be an indication of anything. 2005-12-05 18:04:19
121 622 Anyone know of any online sex toy stores that ship at really cheap fees ($10.00 or less?) 2005-10-03 04:28:21
121 623 Hi, Our shipping fees start at $6.25. Brad 2005-10-03 11:54:46
121 629 I doubt they'd be below $10.00 for people in Southeast Asia, though? :( & 2005-10-03 20:46:30
121 633 Hi, I would say that is impossible, as most businesses use UPS or the like and the charges start at around $60.00 for them. I use the Post Office so charges start at $15.00. That is likely the cheapest you will find anywhere, unless you don't mind waiting 4 to 6 weeks for things to arrive by boat. Brad 2005-10-04 10:30:38
122 632 Sorry if something like this has been assessed before. I used search, but found nothing. Kind of need direct advice, anyway. Right, I've been going out with my girlfriend for about a year now. She's a virgin, (hence the thread title) and we've been trying since about the second or third month. No amount of lubrication seems to change anything- it's like pressing up against a brick wall, and the slightest amount of pressure hurts her a surprising amount. If I get her to the brink of orgasm (through oral or rubbing), I can manage to get one finger inside, provided I get it wet first, and proceed like I'm playing a game of 'Operation'. Yes, I have tried keeping her at this point, and trying with both my fingers and dick. No dice. She's 18, and I'm a few months behind her at 17. I'm not a virgin, and I've deflowered a virgin before without much trouble (just ruling out the "are you in the right place?" question.) I think that some of it may be a psychological thing, as well. She gets visibly tense when my penis touches her vagina. Can't say I'm sure of the reason for this. Hands and tongue are fine. No flinching at all there. I'm probably not her ideal size (I'm a little over 8 inches, while she's a small girl in all aspects) but I doubt that it actually scares her. Hopefully. There are some positions that should make it easier for both of us that she will absolutely not try, usually ones where she'll be in control of all movement. That makes things a little more difficult. It’s beginning to get more and more frustrating for both of us. She cries about it occasionally, as she seems to think it’s her fault, as much as I’ve tried to tell her otherwise. She’s thinking about going in for a Hymenectomy, which I’m thinking may be a good idea. It is quite difficult to keep it up for an hour and a half on top of a woman that’s close to tears with no stimulation at all, moving into her at the speed of continental drift. Just a few general things- she doesn’t (and won’t) masturbate, she uses pads and not tampons (they never used to be able to fit. I at least seem to have stretched her enough for my finger. Unfortunately, I have very skinny fingers), she is on the pill (painful periods) and as far as she’s told me, has not been molested (not that I asked). Right. Suggestions? Advice? Vaginismus? Questions? Seemingly random accusations of me forcing her into it? Anything's appreciated. 2005-10-04 07:26:53
122 634 Hi, It sounds like she really isn't ready to be having intercourse. If she isn't willing to be an active participant and learn to masturbate there is little you can do. If she tenses when you go to insert& your penis then she isn't ready for intercourse or she fears it will hurt. She needs to work on inserting fingers or objects on her own, if she isn't willing, not much you can do. While there may have been a purely physical problem to begin with there is now also a psychological one, likely the result of repeated failed and painful experiences. Have her read the information on the website written for virgins, linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin1.htm Brad 2005-10-04 10:36:18
122 638 I dont think the hymen is the problem, it's the muscles. The hymen is a thin layer that will just stretch with the penis if it's really that strong. maybe sharing my personal experience would help, my bf had to 'stretch' my vagina for 3 weeks daily before we succeeded at penetration. He started with his little finger and even that hurted me alot at the beginning but I really wanted to have sex so I just withstood the pain. he would spend a decent 30 minutes or so daily carefully sliding it in there and then turing ever so gently in each direction and pressing. It worked when we got to three fingers. Even now, if I go for few days (say 10 days or 2 weeks) without any penetration it hurts again slightly at first. I sort of close up :? Now since you've been at it for months, and she's feeling that bad about it, maybe seeing a doctor would help, at least to rule out any physical problems. 2005-10-04 13:00:17
122 641 Thanks for your help. If anything, I'm glad this didn't contain only one useful post before a someone decided it was her duty to inform me that I was a Chauvinist for 'forcing' her into sex, and it spouting into a flamewar and being locked while I was asleep. 'Sexuality' forum my arse. Brad- She may well not be ready. I did have her tell me when she wanted to do it, not the other way around. Maybe she felt I wanted to do it? :? I don't know, she's a... perplexing girl. Thanks for the link, maybe she'll listen to it if it's someone else saying it :) Kay- We did try that for a while, but after a month we didn't seem to be getting anywhere but Paintown. Perhaps it might be time to start doing it again. Thanks again. 2005-10-05 18:22:46
122 647 You said you tried some positions.& Position is very important.& The following is of course just my personal experience but maybe it would help.& Though I really like it right now, the missionary position is probably the worst, because niether of you can really see what is going where.& We gave it up after the first few tries.& Now woman on top is an improvement bec the man can hold his penis while the woman lowers herself on it at her convenience, still it was too painful for me to go on with it (I needed him to do the pushing).& Try this one if you did not already.& & It was what finally worked for us.& Let her& sit on the edge of the bed and lay her back down or& rest on cushions. You, kneeling infront of her, can try to enter.& This way she's comfortable, no weight to support but hers, and you can see completely what's going on :) And you mentioned she is really upset the whole thing, I understand, I was completely upset and cried about it a few times.& I just want to tell you that it is very hard for a girl with limited sexual experience to sit naked, legs apart while a man is between her legs streching her vagina.& I was convinced at first that my bf hated the whole thing, inspite of his assurances.& He really spent alot of time telling me I looked beautiful and he loved looking at me and touching me, he repeated that what must've been a thousand times until finally he would show me his full erection as proof he liked it. Try to see if you can get her interested in her own genitals, like looking at them in the mirror or just touching them, finding out where her clitoris is, with no suggestion of masturbation at first. I hope some of this help :) 2005-10-06 10:44:50
122 649 Hi, My response was based on the numerous e-mails I have received from women or their partner who attempted penetration despite the pain on numerous occasions and found themselves dealing with psychological issues not just a physical or medical ones. Since we are told& intercourse is suppose to hurt the woman in the beginning couples may ignore the pain. Pain always indicates something is wrong, that something potentially harmful is occurring to the body.& Pain during first attempts at intercourse usually means the hymen is still partially blocking the entrance to the vagina, the pelvic muscles are in contraction, or there is not enough lubrication. Less often it indicates a medical problem. For most the muscles may be only a little tight and expand with little trouble and the hymen is thin and tears without effort. For others the hymen will not tear and needs to be surgically removed, or stretched slowly over time. If the pelvic muscles are tight that indicates they are not healthy, as healthy muscles are strong and flexible. Forcing entry likely worsens the state of the pelvic muscles and poor muscle tone will lead to problems in the future, lack of friction during intercourse and loss of control over bladder. It is better to learn Kegel exercises to learn to relax and strengthen the muscles. The problem is worsened when the girl has been raised to believe she just has to lay there and things will magically happen and the pleasure and rewards are automatic. This topic is addressed in more detail on the pages about virginity and the Q&A section of the website. Brad 2005-10-06 10:57:40
122 653 [user=255]Triple[/user] wrote: "Thanks for your help. If anything, I'm glad this didn't contain only one useful post before a someone decided it was her duty to inform me that I was a Chauvinist for 'forcing' her into sex, and it spouting into a flamewar and being locked while I was asleep. 'Sexuality' forum my arse. " that would only happen ( locked or deleted thread ) if you were offensive, disrespectful or had broken our rules! We are quite an open minded bunch here. Well I like to think so. :) Princess 2005-10-07 09:23:25
122 811 I have known someone with this same issue. Turns out there is a condition where the vagina goes into a spasm automatically, can be a result of a previous trauma or religious prejudice or if there is a bit of pressure on to perform and nothing happens, the mind tells the walls of rthe vagina to shut up shop, so to speak. This can be remedied with her developing a trust in you, that means not getting upset when nothing happens (even over long periods of time). Professional help may provide a kit of dilators which start out as very narrow and are removed and exchanged for a larger dilator in a gradual process as your girlfriend relaxes and gets used to penetration. This can be a long process and lots and lots and LOTS of love and patience is required. The results are worth it as your girlfriend will most likely be appreciative of your patience. 2005-11-14 03:12:16
122 813 Aha, here is where I come in useful. That wall, all of us vag sufferers know that all too well. I am a sufferer of vag and, at 26, have never been able to have ic because of it. It felt like there was a wall when& I tried, like there wasn't even a hole. I could have a finger inserted at any time but vag sufferers are all different, some can have ic but not have exams like smears and other are the other way around, this is called situational vaginismus, some can insert a finger or two, other can insert nothing at all at first but it is curable although it can take some time and a lot of patience. If you read the thread I started a little further down the board, you'll get a bigger picture of my story and the things I'm doing and also get a better picture about vag as a whole but do as much research as you can about it and get her to as well. It is possible she doesn't have vag but I'd recommend her getting checked out and researching it all the same and also, if she does think that she has it, to join the support groups where I am a member and she can talk to us lot about all things related to vag and other sex issues without feeling judged. I'll gove you the links to them both if you want. One is for primary vag sufferers, those who were never able to have ic, and the other is for all vag sufferers be it primary or secondary. Secondary vag often crops up where a woman might start experiencing pain due to infection and this trains her muscles to start clamping up even when she used to have pain free ic or it can crop up in women who have been raped etc...plus other reasons, even simple change in partner can cause it or a long period without ic. There are lots of websites that describe vaginismus and such if you want to look it up but researching on sexual anatomy and sexuality in general is also a must. I found the clit.com site very useful. If she seems tense as soon as your penis touches her, I know that feeling, chances are she is frightened of the idea of penetration, expecting pain or even injury and this is what causes the muscles to spasm, the brain tells them to do so, her subconscious, she has no conscious& control over it. Curing vag means retraining your brain. If she does have vaginismus, I strongly recommend not trying intercourse for a while because if you do try and it causes pain, this will reinforce her subconscious that pain will come on any attempt at penetration and this will make her muscles spasm even more and make the whole condition worse. Please try not to get impatient with her, ic isn't everything and there are still plenty of other things you can both do and enjoy. Too many blokes run in the opposite direction when confronted with something like this because they can't live without ic but you can prove how much of a real decent man you are by sticking around and helping her to cure this and, when it is cured, you can feel proud knowing you stuck it out and that it was partly your support which enabled it to happen. There is also a yahoo group for partners of vag sufferers if she does turn out to have this and you would like to talk to other men who have partners going through this same problem. & I'll be glad to help if you have anything more to ask. 2005-11-14 11:03:21
122 1803 My girlfriend and I had the same thing happen to us. We had been together for a year when we decided to try. It just wouldn't work. I could see that she would get nervous as soon as my penis touched her vagina. We often had outercourse rubbing her clitoris with my penis. I had fingered her before but she was reluctant to try fingering unless she was extremely excited and forgot to be scared.& She had heard all the stories of pain and blood and women who dislike sex because it's painful. She is not one to go looking for information about sexuality and didn't know anything about it when we met. She hadn't really dated prior to me, nor did I. She had never experienced orgasm, probably never really been excited to be with a guy. I knew that pressuring her to do it wouldn't be enjoyable for her, likely leading to less intimacy than if she turned around and asked for it. We tried a few times in the last few months and I could tell that she wanted it but her body wasn't letting her. She told me once recently that she did want it and was disappointed that she couldn't. She is orgasmic and I love eating her. I showed her some links on the-clitoris.com even though she squirmed a bit looking at some pictures talking her through it really helped. The newest page on finding the vagina had perfect timing for us. I did get my finger inside and she had to learn that the feelings she was afraid of were new and not necessarily pain, though she did know what hurt. I also asked her to squeeze her PC muscle while my finger was inside so she could tell when she was tense and relaxed. This weekend we experienced intercourse for the first time. After extended foreplay that involved shaving her pussy and slow going she accepted me inside her. She said it hurt a little when it first slipped in. Then it felt good. I didn't move at all at first. I let her wiggle as she learned what would feel good. As she got more excited she let me move just enough that she could feel it. No thrusting, just a little movement. We were close together with me on top. It felt amazing. She could feel my erection soften and harden during our movement and rest. Being so close together and excited she actually came which surprised me, I was probably rubbing her clit a bit in that position. Orgasm was actually quite painful for her as her muscles contracted during. Soon after she asked me to come out so she could relax, as I was still aroused. She finished me off and I came like never before. We snuggled and talked about it. She didn't bleed, she said it didn't hurt as much as she thought it would with the stories she had heard, and she actually enjoyed it. She thought it was her hymen that was causing the trouble. After reading this site I decided it wasn't. I think it didn't even tear, but we don't know right now. For those guys that are experiencing trouble with sex and your woman. Sex is something you give to her, you can't take it. If you don't feel her apprehensions and love her like there is no other, she won't be comfortable enough to accept you. Position was important. Use your finger to explore and ask her what feels best. Getting your dick in the right place for her isn't as easy as it seems if she is sensitive. Take the time to excite her, wait until she asks you to try. For a woman who is sensitive, or unprepared, you can't rush things. Take your time. There is no need to rush. I don't mind spending hours naked with her. It's not HER problem it's BOTH of yours. If you don't accept that, I don't know what to tell you. If it's not working and you don't know what to do except stick your dick in her pussy get a clue and learn something. I started learning about sex as I got older because I was worried that when I did meet a woman (I didn't date at all due to shyness) I would likely have to measure up to other guys that she had been with. Even without experience, I thought the knowledge would be helpful. I researched a lot more when we found out it wasn't going to work as easily as we thought. She's 24. I'm 28. We have lived together for a year and met a year and a half ago. Neither of us really dated prior, let alone had sex. I do have one regrettable drunken experience. I would do anything to take that back to give it to my girlfriend as she waited. I will marry her. "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." 2006-06-26 15:30:54
122 1805 I wish more male& partners were like you. I read the stories of other women in the vag group about how their BFs and husbands treat them and it's so sad and annoying and makes me lose hope about ever finding a guy who could deal with my condition. I only hope I can be lucky enough to find a guy who understands or does his best to understand. 2006-06-26 17:01:23
122 1806 The deformed portrayal of sex in porn causes part of men's insensitivity toward sex. Canis, there is hope. I've read some of your story. I wouldn't wear a t-shirt proclaiming your condition on your first date, but do tell the guy if you see sparks after a week or two. He will or will not be able to deal with it. If he is attracted to you, it will be for your other qualities also. Sex virtually always works out when love is real. There is a movie in the US called 40 days and 40 nights, when you find an interested guy you might watch it with him. You should definitely be looking for a sensitive guy. Trust me, I had concerns about it at first. Especially when her sex drive dropped because of stress in her life. At first she would just push me away and it was a while before she wanted sex again. She told me she loved me and when she actually said she wanted to have intercourse it made a difference, even if she couldn't. We did talk about sex soon after we met. She told me she was a virgin and was waiting for the man she would marry. I told her that I would wait as long as she needed and that there are many things to enjoy sexually before intercourse comes into the picture. Knowing that there is much more to sex than intercourse was great because I knew what to do to turn her on, and orgasm. I remember how wet she would get, she'd leave at the end of the night with soaked panties and I never took off her clothes to pleasure her clit. 2006-06-26 18:31:37
123 639 I have several questions/concerns...... I am 26, and a newlywed. I know it may sound crazy to most, but I have never really masturbated.& Lately, I have attempted a couple of times, but doesn't seem to do much good.& First of all, I'm not even sure where my clitoris is; can't seem to stimulate it.& I was sexually active before marriage, and for the first several years, I enjoyed it, and felt strong desire for it.& Over the past few years, however, I haven't had very much desire.....some, but it seems to continue to decrease.& I feel something is wrong with me, especially being only 26 and just married to someone I am very attracted to.& My husband, now and prior to marriage, would perform oral sex (even for long periods of time) but I could not orgasm.& After a while, I just get a bit tired of it, because nothing is happening.& I very rarely can have an orgasm during intercourse, but I can't seem to find a way to make sure he hits the right spot.& It seems that he is always ready to go, but I am not.& I feel bad that I'm not.& And, afterwards, I feel frustrated, because I am unable to feel fulfilled.& Then, I can't just take care of it myself, because I truthfully, just don't know how............ & Please help.& I'd appreciate any advice.& 2005-10-05 10:44:43
123 640 Hi Windy...I'll suggest that you try to know your body better and get familiar with different ways to masturbate and try to find your most sensitive spots, you can take a look at a very informative site for us it is called [url=www.the-clitoris.com] www.the-clitoris.com& here you'll find the anatomy of our sex organs and theri functions. If you desire to write look at my profile , my e-mail is there Good luck kisses Luisa 2005-10-05 16:31:58
123 645 find a position where you can stimulate your clitoral area while his penis is inside of your vagina...so you can get off from stimulation and have intercourse at the same time 2005-10-05 21:49:13
124 651 uh... i'm seventeen and in comparing myself to my girlfriend (who has orgasms during sex& while I do not. i've never had one) I've found that her clitoris seems a lot larger than mine. In fact, mine seems almost ridiculously small, and since i can't seem to get any really good sensation out of it, it's really worrying me. I've been trying to find information, but all I've found is a lot of very reassuring statistics& about diversity& of the& inner labia. So I thought I'd ask... is it possible that my clit is underdeveloped, and therefore really small and not really responsive to stimulation? We/I've tried everything to have an orgasm, but nothing works, and I really just wanna know what's wrong with me.& (as an aside... Penetrative sex feels good, or at least, pleasantly intense, but i don't get orgasms from that either.) & Thoughts, comments, advise, all would be appreciated, thanks.& 2005-10-07 02:48:21
124 654 Hi and welcome :) Not all women have orgasms whilst being penetrated. I dont. It could be a number of reasons why you feel your clitoris to be not sensitive enough. Maybe you are just trying too hard? I think it would help you a lot to read and look at the photographs on the following pages : www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/v_image1.htm www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/c_size.htm Quite a few young women worry about the size of their anatomy. You are not alone there. But I dont think that comparing yourself to one woman is enough. Every woman is different in terms of size and shape of the clitoris. No two are the same. The varying of size ranges quite a bit and you will probably be surprised by this. You are so young so I would give it time for your genetals to develop further. The best way is by teasing yourself. Dont make it a goal of sex or masturbation to have an orgasm. Stimulate yourself in your brain first. Discover what turns you on the most visually and mentally first. Then the sensations will start around your clitoris area and pulsing sensations in and around your vulva. Princess 2005-10-07 09:38:14
124 659 Hi Anay, & & I was wondering, is your clitoral hood large so it covers the clitoris, which makes it seem underdeveloped? Does your clitoris have a frenulum, which is the labia minora attaching to the underside of the clitoris? Anyways, it is just the tip of the iceberg...if it feels good, it may eventually give you an O if you explore.. Melissa 2005-10-08 22:37:29
124 661 Hi, my clit is also& quite small that at some point i thought it was underdeveloped, covered by the clitoral hood almost completely.& I have to pull it back for it to show.& But then the pictures on the old yahoo forum helped me realize it's normal and as far as masturbation and oral sex go,& functions completely normal.& A small clit is probably not your problem. 2005-10-09 09:16:40
124 662 Hi Annay I'm with Melissa, if you achieve orgasms touching your clit then noto worry about size as melisa said "explore", grab a mirror and explore your vulva and maybe you'll get a big "O"...kisses and luck Luisa 2005-10-09 15:25:59
124 667 Hi, Regardless of size they always have the same number of nerve endings, that is my understanding anyways. This means smaller ones tend to be more sensitive, but perhaps harder to find and stimulate for a partner. If you can masturbate to orgasm then it probably works fine. Rarely the hood needs to be trimmed to allow access to the clitoral glans. Brad 2005-10-10 21:41:42
129 666 Hey all, I've just discovered this discussion board even though I've been visiting theclitoris.com for a few months. My post regards a condition I suffer from called endometriosis (called endo for short). Wondering if anyone else here suffers from it? This quite often makes penetrative sex painful for me, especially if I take a position on top of my partner. But, endometriosis affects my life in other ways, too. For example, I sometimes feel incredibly moody and irritable for no real reason or& simply because of abdominal cramping that comes periodically& with endo. This really puts a strain on my relationship, for the most part my parter is so supportive and I love him to death and I'd just like to thank him for putting up with me, but we really do have our moments. I don't usually bleed very much because I am on a birth control implant called implanon but I suffer irregular bleeding because of this. On occasion I have been ready to have sex with my partner and I have begun bleeding without knowing it and it makes me upset. It& makes me exhausted, I am a nursing student and really enjoy my course but I'm falling behind because I'm sick all the time! I'm going for an operation to treat the endo next week which will require about a week to recover. I'm worried about my final exams (i'm australian, our semesters are backwards to yours, we begin in feb/march and finish in oct/nov). I'm really run down because I'm so exhausted and I'm exhausted because I'm run down, it's a vicious cycle! I've had tonsilitis, sinusitis and bronchitis all& in the last 6 weeks! It also causes bowel upsets. ie:& diahorrea and constipatation. You may ask, how can you explain that you have& diahorrea and constipation at the same time. Well, on any particular day I could have diahorrea or be constipated, I won't go into details but I'm sure you can imagine. I can't take pain killers to control my abdominal pain because it is sporadic, some days are good, some days are awful. The way the pain occurs is irregular, I will feel a cramp coming on and it may only last for 10 - 30 seconds but it reaches 8 or 9 on my pain scale (1-10). I can't justify taking dangerous painkillers like mersyndol and panadine forte or anything with codeine in it because they make me loopy and I need to be aware enough to live my life properly. So when I feel one coming on I take big deep breaths and try to imagine a nice, safe, warm place. This image usually consists of my partner's big strong arms holding me close in our bed. So then the stabbing pain doesn't seem quite as bad. I was speaking on the phone this morning with a friend of mine who suffers endo as well, she's had 4 operations to fix the problem but clearly it is a recurring disease that could last a life time and has the potential to decrease or eliminate fertility. We spoke about how it's difficult for people who dont have endo to understand, a lot of people hold the mindset that it's just period pain and we're just whinging. But it affects my life so much more than painful menses. I masterbate quite regularly, if you've read in the "I love to masterbate" thread, it helps me to relax and usually takes my mind off the dull cramping that sometimes lasts all day. And when I masterbate it doesn't involve penetration so I don't experience any discomfort related to that. Sorry this is long, but it may help other sufferers and it has certainly helped me to talk about it. Mantra 2005-10-09 22:43:23
133 672 I'll be frank. When I have to pee I have orgasms. I'm not talking about the urge-to-pee felt before and after orgasm. I'm saying that the usual pressure+the orgasm are the indicators that tell me to go to the bathroom! All attempts at finding out what the deal is have fallen flat. There's no way I can put "urine" and "orgasm" in the same search field on internet search engines without getting inundated with sex fetish sites. I've tried scrolling through medical journal articles but have found no information. This is a condition I've had my entire life. I had no idea it wasn't normal until I wondered why pop culture lacked all the obligatory references to the condition. Any ideas? 2005-10-12 14:46:46
133 673 Hi Little miss...you're right there is no a place to put together orgasm and urination.. I had aproblem like yours long time ago and a friend told me that it looked like& I was ejaculating at orgasm and& I found& I was; she explained to me that it was the product of stimualting a set of glands aorund the urethra called the feminine prostate and all the liquid produced was expelled thru the urethra. She told me to empty my bladder before sex or masturbating and use a towel and when& I was reaching the orgasm and felt the need to pee just let go the "urine" and check and Iwill find that it is sticky semiclear and in& no way lookslike urine.There is a site that explain it..good luck Luisa You can look my info in myprofile... & 2005-10-12 18:29:11
133 674 my problem isn't that i discharge too much liquid during orgasm. It's that when I'm just sitting around doing nothing I have an orgasm and& I have to get up and go to the bathroom. And it is indeed urine that comes out. I've tried to talk about it to a couple of people but they either don't take me seriously or assume I am mistaken about what's goin on. The issue itself may not seem like a problem on the surface but it can be a tremendous inconvenience. Ex: when I'm driving or when I'm sitting in class and on top of a tremendous need to pee I keep& having orgasms. It happens every-single-time I have to go.& I'm wondering if this 'condition'& could be indicative of some other condition. & 2005-10-12 19:29:22
133 675 Hi littlemiss..I missundeerstood you, now I unerstand your dilemma..having orgasms in the way you experience them is wonderful but all the times and without control it can be anoying..the only thing I can think it is that our urethra goes straight thru a very erogenous zone and maybe if your bladder is full it is kind of stimulating you sexually to orgasm. There is a place about sexuality maybe they will help [url=www.the-clitoris.com] www.the-clitoris.com good luck let me know if youfind any help ,meanwhile I'll look around kisses Luisa 2005-10-12 19:42:09
133 676 Hi Little, When you use search engines put a "+" sign in front of words that must be in the pages you want to see and a "-" sign in front or words you don't want to see, like sex words. I have to do this when I research a subject too. Here is a google search using this: Things to consider are whether these full bladder orgasms are the same as orgasms brought about by other forms of stimulation, like masturbation. Are there pelvic and/or vaginal muscles contractions? Does the sensation spread outward from your clitoris like a clitoral orgasm or center elsewhere? Read the page about female ejaculation on the main website and then do some exploring in your vagina to see if perhaps your female prostate gland is engorged and/or irritated. Perhaps the full bladder is putting pressure on your female prostate and triggers your orgasms. Perhaps these glands need to be encouraged to release their fluid through stimulation. Other things to consider are chronic urinary tract infections, medications, and prescription birth control, and tight or relaxed pelvic muscles. There is also a chance it is conditioned response from childhood urination/masturbation habits, or so I am guessing. Here is the link to the page about female ejaculation. Information about infection of the female prostate gland is linked to there too. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm Brad 2005-10-12 21:36:22
139 690 When I masturbate I avoid touching my clit because it hurts a lot when it's stimulated, even if it's an indirect stimulation. On the other hand my vagina seems to be steel plated because I can barely feel anything inside of it. Has anyone got any ideas as to why this happens? Everything else seems to be working fine except that I have never reached an orgasm. I'd really appreciate some help ^^; 2005-10-18 10:17:33
139 692 Hello and Welcome Do you or have you in the last year taken any prescription medications? Have you had a baby or miscarriage? Do you wear jeans everyday? Are your knickers made of cotton? You dont mention your age, so I will do my best with your concerns. Firstly, wearing nylon and other material knickers can not be good for the vagina or vulva. Cotton best for everyday use. Jeans or other restrictive clothing can also have an impact on your secretions and muscles. Adequate time spent without underwear is essential for vaginal health. Sleep at night without any if this is at all possible. Also, some medications change the balance within the vagina and can have a major effect on hormones. Some foods can also have an effect. For the clitoris, leave it alone for about a month. Do not try to stimulate it. Massage in oil like sweet almond oil when you get out of the bath and when you wake up in the morning then leave it. Resist the temptation to masturbate. Include lots of green leafy vegetables in your diet. You cold be lacking in iron slightly. Fresh fish is also really good. Try to include some at least twice a week for a month. Cut down on wine, spirits and beer. In fact, if you can, stay off alchahol for one month. For your vagina, do pelvic floor excercises. Clench and hold then release. Repeat this as often as you can. It is one of those exercises that no one knows you are doing so you can do them doing other daily things. Again, massage the oil into your vulva as well when you do your clitoris and pay particular attention to your perineum area ( the area between your vagina and anus ) It feels to me like you may just need to change your diet if you have not been on any medication and cutting out alchahol can make a huge difference. You are not alone in not being able to reach orgasm. Do you fantasise? Read erotic stories. Thought provoking ones. After one month you will notice an improvement in yourself. Try to keep in mind that orgasms start in your brain. But the brain can also block them particularly if you have undergone some sort of stressful situation recently. If you try to hard, it will have a reverse reaction and you wont be able to orgasm. Try to relax. Stick with the massaging. Do not masturbate for a month but during that time read erotic fiction. Have fantasies. Day dream. It will happen naturally. An orgasm is something which can not be forced. Hope this helps Princess 2005-10-19 07:17:24
139 695 Thanks for the reply :) i'll get right on to tweaking my (bad?) habits. The only medication i take is Diane-35 (it's a hormonal treatment because i have a tendency to have too much testosterone in my blood.) and Ventilan on occasion (i'm asthmathic.) I don't drink and I'm not sexually active yet. I do wear jeans every day but not the incredibly tight ones. I usually wear the ones with a classic cut so they're not pressing against anything at all and i always sleep wihout underwear. I already do a lot of pelvic floor exercises especially when i'm bored but i'll try to turn my diet around since i don't eat a lot of vedgetables or fish. Again thank you very much for the tips :) 2005-10-19 10:55:17
139 698 Hi I would have mentioned testosterone before but did not want to worry you unnecessarily. The medication could be causing your vagina to react differently. If you could speak to your doctor about possible side effects that would be a good idea. Mention to him or her the effect that your sex drive and physical feelings have changed down below and that you are extremely worried by this. They may well give you some female hormone to balance things out a bit for you. Princess 2005-10-19 18:28:33
139 700 The thought has crossed my mind but I don't believe that's the cause of it because I already had this petit problem before I got on those meds. I'll talk about it to the doctor anyway though. I have to go see him anyway. Again, thank you for the tech support :) 2005-10-20 02:21:22
140 691 Hi& I'm fifteen and I've recently been really worried about my health. I had sex for the first time and my boyfriend could only insert his penis a few inches into my vagina before it pretty much ended. He tried to push it in further but it really hurt, so he stopped. It was really emabressing and I think it may have had something to do with my missed periods. I didn't have one for six months and finally had one at the beginning of last month, but it was really heavy and really painful. I've been to a doctor and she said she couldn't see anything, but i don't understand how she couldn't because i checked to see if the ending was gone but it wasn't. I'd really appreciate some& info& and get this weight off my chest. 2005-10-19 00:50:36
140 693 Hello and thank you for posting. Welcome to the group :) Did you use lubricant during the attempted penetration? Were you relaxed and did your boyfriend use foreplay before attempting to enter you? With the missed periods, I am surprised that your doctor did not do a hormone test to check for your thyroid or testerone levels. I would go back to a well woman or family planning clinic. Ask for the reasons why a fifteen year old girl would suddenly stop having periods. There could be a whole host of reasons for this. Stress being the first and hormone inbalance being next. With penetration, especially the first times, you will need to be sufficently relaxed for this to be a very pleasurable experience. Have you read some of the pages of www.the-clitoris.com at all? You will find lots of other experiences similar to yours talked about on there which may help you to not feel like an alien. You are not alone in this, lots of women have experienced the same thing. Do you masturbate and explore your own body? It may be that you just were not ready for intercourse just yet and need to spend some time alone exploring your own body first. After you look at the web site, come back and let me know your new thoughts. Princess 2005-10-19 07:24:08
140 707 Hi, Please see the information on the page linked to below: [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_9/qa9_9.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/qa_9/qa9_9.htm Brad 2005-10-20 21:55:57
140 708 To bother Princess and Brad. The pages you sent me sound exactly what's been happening. & I feel extremely relieved that I'm not messed up. I suppose I just have to work around it. I really appreciate your help. - Ashilla 2005-10-21 04:14:09
140 711 Hi Ashilla you are most welcome and do let us know how you get on in the future. you are still young so take things nice and slow. Princess 2005-10-21 07:32:06
141 694 Hi all I started reading on the-clitoris.com about 3 years ago but abruptly quit when I found what I was looking for. Recently (for a month) my visits to the site and this board have been more and more regular to the point of registering and de-lurking to wave you all hello :D I don't know if this question belongs here or is better nested elsewhere, tried searching but 'male' drew too broad results, anyway there it goes: Is there any specific board for Discussion of Male Sexuality and could any of you please point me to it? In the-penis.com you can find heaps of useful info, but I couldn't discover the link to any board, discussion group or whatever. Anyhow, if theres no positive outcome from this quest, could my main doubts be aired here as they involve my female partner? (I'm male). much gratitude for any response /feel guilty for making you through my poor English :? 2005-10-19 08:47:52
141 697 Hello and Welcome :) Glad you decided to de-lurk. If your query involves your partner then yes, by all means raise your question here. I dont know of any all male web forums similar to this one. I think we are unique in what we do here and our open mindedness at least :) Perhaps Brad may know of one? Princess 2005-10-19 18:24:27
141 706 Hi, I have created a forum for the discussion of male sexuality. It is listed below General Discussion when you enter the discussion group. On the page where the different language forums are listed. Brad 2005-10-20 21:53:53
143 699 hi just found this forum looking forward to reading and learning many things.......I have& question about using toothpaste on your clit to mastubate i've read techniques where people have used toothpaste or vicks rub can either of these hurt you in any way does anyone know? I'm always looking for new things to try while masturbating Breezzy 2005-10-20 02:15:16
143 701 Hi this is interesting :) But why would toothpaste be fun? Cool breezy feeling? I would also like to know about this, specially if it could upset the vagina or anything 2005-10-20 13:03:13
143 702 I don't know if I'd trust it.& :? It's like a guy I knew from High School that used Icy Hot to masturbate with.& He said it burned like hell.& So, I'd probably just stick with warming KY Jelly and other warming things. :) 2005-10-20 16:44:00
143 703 Hi Breezy...I have used the toothpaste the minty one..it was kind of interesting and my husband liked it...before the sex sesion& Ibrushed my teeh with the tooth paste and didn't washed out& a gave my husband a good BJ then he did the same on my clit it felt very good..I never tried directly on my vagina or clit or his penis. Good luck& kisses Luisa My mail is in the profile 2005-10-20 17:58:50
144 704 I found out i had gential warts awhile ago and now my clitoris is very swollen and extremely red and painful - ive been on a cream to help the warts go away- but do u think this is just the healing process of having gential warts or should i seek help? 2005-10-20 18:36:39
144 705 When in doubt, consult a doctor. 2005-10-20 20:51:04
144 709 Consult a doctor. I hear genital warts are tied to cervical cancer. Warts are common, but it's best to be safe. - Ashilla 2005-10-21 05:15:51
144 712 Hi Definitely seek help and advice from a doctor. The swelling could be herpes and that needs to be treated properly. The cream could be causing you irritation and sometimes antibiotics are needed to stop this. Please please see your doctor without delay. Princess 2005-10-21 07:34:16
147 717 Hello Everyone, There are two users in particular guilty of posting their email address in a post. Please refrain from doing this. People can contact you by clicking on your name which then shows a drop down menu. They can either private message you from there or email you if you have enabled your email address. Whilst this is a friendly and open place where people are free to discuss matters that perhaps they may be unable to elsewhere, but I would rather not have to keep coming down on a select few members by removing email addresses and editing posts. Please bare this in mind when using this board in future. Failure to comply will lead to you being removed from the group. Thank You. Princess. 2005-10-22 17:51:51
151 737 okay, this is kind of dumb, but sometime after I hit puberty I started getting acne on my vagina. It's dumb because I didn't know that this was weird - up until recently I had acne pretty much everywhere. I assumed other girls probably had the same thing going on. I thought it would just naturally go away like everything else eventually does, but I'm 19 now and it's still there. About it, it's not itchy or painful or anything, and I'm not sexually active. So is it just like an excess of oil thing, or should I be seriously worried at this point? thanks in adv. 2005-10-29 21:01:20
151 739 Hi and Welcome no need to be overly worried at this point considering you say you have acne everywhere else too. I used to get this around my pubic hair area and on my back mostly. You are only 19 so technically still a teenager. How are you in general? Are you bloated or overweight? Is there a history of diabeties on your mothers side of the family? Sometimes, our hormones are out of sync and at sixes and sevens with us. Do you do a lot of sports? I am simply asking these questions to prompt you to think about some causes of acne in young women your age. Diet has a lot to do with acne in teenagers as well. Fatty foods like fried chips or crisps. Cake. Fizzy drinks. Basically quite a bit of different foods that are not natural. Try to include food which contain vitamin B in your diet like pulses ( lentals ) and barley etc. Wheat also. There is nothing better than fresh vegetables and white fish. Not the oily ones like sardines. Cod or Haddock etc. If you become too anxious, it wouldnt hurt to speak to someone at your women's health clinic about this. They may well be able to prescribe some cream for you and check your hormone levels. Especially your thyroid and do a diabetes check too. Just to rule these things out. Hope this helps Princess 2005-10-30 07:54:55
151 741 thanks for the reply I'm at a normal weight, maybe a little under. I'm not bloated or anything. I think an aunt on my mom's side has diabetes. I'm not particularly sporty. I really recently changed my diet to include vitamin B foods, and stopped eating junk food and coffee. I was on the pill for a year to help with the acne, but my doctor took me off it last month because the risk of blood clots was too high with the combination pill I was on. Since then my periods have been kind of weird, I guess because I just came off the pill. Like my period would be heavy for two days, then stop for a day or two, and then start up again for maybe two more days. Now I have a new problem, like last night kind of new - I'm getting this weird discharge. I wouldn't worry about it normally, but the color is sort of pale brown, and it's sticky. It doesn't seep out continually like a yeast infection or menstrual blood, but it does smell sort of fishy. My period ended last week, so I don't know if this is just cast off from that. 2005-10-30 10:57:26
151 742 Hi there, please please get this checked out. Any discharge which is discoloured and has a fishy odour must be checked as it is the first sign of an infection. As you are so young, and have not had or probably thought about children yet, please get this checked out properly. Have a pelvic exam to rule out pelvic inflamation and a series of swabs done to see what type of infection it is. Many people leave these things untreated only to find years later when they are settled and ready for a family, that they now have problems conceiving. When was your last smear test? I dont suppose you have had one if you are not sexually active. Ask for one of them as well. You simply must look after yourself and eat well and healthily. No junk food or coffee accept maybe once a month as a treat. You only get one body which has to last you many many more years to come. So please, get checked out and look after yourself. And, one more thing, please let me know what your doctor says and how you get on. Princess 2005-10-30 11:54:25
152 745 I made the recipe for arabic wax 2 as per discussion on trimming or removing hair. I have the toffee substance but I cannot use it. The stuff wont stick to the hair (I got a proffessional job done first and it is now about 5mm long). I have tried rolling it in a ball then flattening out on the area to be removed (used a walnut size ball), I then tried to heat a little hotter so it was fluid and spatula the stuff on (way too hot), I then tried to stick it to a cloth strip place on then remove (nothing happened). I left the stuff on for a few seconds to see if it would harden but still no luck. For all those who are besides themselves laughing by now at my very messy antics, please advise how on earth I can get a nice soft waxing job that removes the hair wihtout making a mess. I think I got the recipe right, it is a lovely toffee colour that when heated forms a pliable lump, will not stick to hands when working it. Have I used too much oil? used about a tablespoon as per instructions. 2005-10-31 06:12:17
152 755 From what you describe, it sounds like you're doing things correctly, but are you pulling the cloth off right? The opposite direction of hair growth? 2005-11-05 17:05:04
152 759 Hi sorry about this but your post made me remeber a funny story I read abotu a month ago so I thought you may appreciate the laugh as well. :) Princess My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner,played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours. Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically inclined enough I can figure it out. YA THINK!!! So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my a** . (Oh how this phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheena, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the wax strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - my wax covered pelt that has caused me so much pain. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip but there is no hair on it. Where is the wax??? Slowly I eased my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the strip... I touch... I am touching wax! CRAP!!!!!!!! I peel my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body that is now covered in cold wax and matted hair and then make the next big mistake... (remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet). I know I need to move to do something. So I put my foot down and then I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. REAR-END?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "I hope I don't get the urge to poop. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? WRONG I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than what is used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now the only thing worse that having your business glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water. Which by the way doesn't melt the cold wax. So now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my rear and vagina are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where is the wax on the rear "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH Right!! I could be the joke of some one else's night. While we go through various solutions. I guess I'll result in scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! I then find the most beautiful saving grace.... that is the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. I rub some and scream "IT works!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my dismay... The hair is still there... all of it. So I shaved the mess off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Then I put the wax back in the medicine cabinet, I may have a mustache that needs work someday. Next week I'm going to try hair color.... 2005-11-05 20:07:26
152 810 Yes this is verry funny. Thank you for sending as I ended up purchasing Nair sensitive wax and after reading this I took the lot off with thin (spatula width) strips that were only 3" long at the most. I still dont know how to make the homemade stuff as I live in a remote area and do not get to the pharmacy often enough to purchase the real stuff. I can safely say that I discovered bits with my mirror that I did not know existed. Regards Brocky 2005-11-14 02:59:10
152 816 Hi, My grandmothers and mother and aunts all use the arabic waxing method and they're pretty quick at it (grandma could do both my legs in under 15 minutes!!), but I could never really get the hang of it :(, it takes too much practice to get it right. But the recipe they use is simply lemon and sugar and that's it, no oil or anything else, i can call home to ask for the particulars, but from personal experience (grandma waxed me first at the age of 12, that's 12 years ago) I found the wax roller, not sure how they're called, you know the ones with a rolling head that deposits a thin film of wax on the skin and then taken off with a strip, the best way to go. One application is enough for an area. Though some kinds of wax need oil to clean it up! 2005-11-15 11:44:25
152 819 I would love it if you could find out how they make it some time. When and if I get to a shop or pharmacy in our region they only have the absolute necessities of life, that means no fancy personal stuff. I have to send away for all my cometics, clothing, and even ingredients for cooking. If I could make it myself it would be great as sugar and lemons are always on hand. I think the sesame oil I added may have mucked up the wax. thanks for replying. Regards Brocky 2005-11-15 17:51:58
153 748 Are there any instances where a hidden clitoris CAN make it difficult to stimulate the clitoris? I have read that it is most often low sex drive that makes clitoral arousal difficult, but then why do so many women who get circumcisions report that it makes there clitoris more sensative?? One website said that& having the& hidden cliroris itself will make a female's sex drive lower. I have low sex drive and a hidden clitoris. I have a very hard time stimulating my clitoris. Did my hidden clitoris lower my sex drive and make it harder to stimulate& the clitoris? Or is it my low sex drive that makes clitoral stimulation hard for me regardless of whether or not I have a hidden clitoris? Is it at all possible for a hidden clitoris to affect the ability of a female to sltimulate her clitoris, or is it ALWAYS hormone levels that are to blame? 2005-11-01 20:41:47
154 753 I really miss the people that used to post on the previous forum. Seems to be youngsters on now with little expertise. I loved the vivid descriptions and the love of the female form they wrote about. Hope they soon return. 2005-11-04 16:08:32
154 758 Hi Sadie, I agree :( But some of us are still around so if you want to suggest a topic you remember from the old forum then please feel free. It may help to promote different kinds of discussions again. Princess 2005-11-05 19:59:04
154 772 Considering I've never seen anything of the older forum, I would love to see some of the older threads that were posted - especially if they host very good information about the female body, good tips& and such - and interesting conversation ^^! 2005-11-06 21:52:03
155 762 Today I woke up with a small pimple on my outer vulva lip / labia major. I didnt think anything of it but became aware of it when I went to the toilet after getting out of bed. By six in the evening it had grown into a very painful lump and was bright red and violent. The pain was unbearable too. I took two painkillers that I had in the house and started to drink lots of water too as my mouth was all fury and dry and I had also developed a nasty cough. I also became aware of my breathing sounding a bit wheazy. I dozed off around seven this evening and then woke in terrible pain. The lump had grown to about two and a half inches big. I swallowed my fear and telephoned the emergency out of hours doctor who arranged for me to be seen immediately at the Gyni department at the hospital. They said it was an abscess and if not calmed down or burst by tomorrow night would have to be drained. My Partner asked them what caused it and they said an in growing hair folicile which had become infected and is quite common. I now have pain killers and some antibiotics and am scared of the whole thing. The doctor who exammined this lump said that it appeared that it may well burst on its own. I am now willing that to happen. I was relieved when he said no one would touch it tonight because I need to get the antibiotics into my system first. I hate things like this but am relieved that it is not something more serious. I was alarmed at the rate this thing grew today. I have posted my experience here in case it helps someone else. There has been a bit of discussion on this forum lately about vaginal acne and other spots. It is quite a common problem which on the whole is nothing to worry about but should always be checked for a second opinion just to rule out infection. Basically if the spots hurt from within, it is infected and needs treatment. Hope this helps Princess 2005-11-05 20:45:24
155 764 thanks princess! A girlfriend of mine had a similar thing happen, although I think it was related to a Bartholian gland. she had to have a general anaesthetic to remove the lump and have a biopsy etc. she's actually had it done twice. it reminded me of your experience because she explained that it swelled up in a matter of hours. i have also had a bit of a freak out, i found& a lump once - with no redness or pain, just a lump& - but it disappeared after about a day. My reckoning is that it was a swollen lymph gland. thanks for sharing. 2005-11-05 22:37:02
155 768 Thanks Mantra, I am worried sick tonight as this thing is just not giving up. It will not burst and is so painful I am unable to think straight any longer. Antibiotics do not seem to be kicking in just yet. The pain killers the hospital gave me last night are crap and I am in hell. With the Bartholian Gland, was the lump high up on the outer labia or lower down? I am very concerned now that this could be a Bartholian Cyst or Abscess. But all the pictures I have seen online and diagrams show the lump along the labia major but lower down. Mine is on the right side of my labia major just below the clitoris area so is in the way for going to the toilet as well. It is not grown since last night but does feel harder and more fierce than 24 hours ago. I have taken three doses of pain killers in the last twenty minutes which finally have stopped me feeling the deep painful throbbing that I have been dealing with marginally since yesterday. They have enabled me to clean up the area properly and inspect it more thoroughly as well. I am scared. The thought of having this burst, cut and drained is freaking me out. How will it affect the way I look down there afterwards? I am not ashamed to admit that this is scaring me rigid and I cant decide whether to see the doctor tonight as an emergency or ride it out till the morning to see if it does burst overnight itself. With the amount of pain killers I took, I should be able to fall asleep quite solidly and then with my natural moving about during my sleep I am hoping this will finally happen. I NEVER want to experience anything like this EVER again. Princess 2005-11-06 20:22:00
155 774 Success! Last night I got so wound up I took some extra pain killers. After half an hour I moved about and hey presto - the bubble burst :D I never really fully appreciated the word 'relief' until right at that moment. Going to have the remainder checked later today at my doctors surgery and he will send some cells away for lab tests. I feel a hell of a lot better today than I did yesterday :) Princess 2005-11-07 07:12:33
155 780 So glad it worked out for you! You really did sound panicky! I think my friend's& blocked bartholian's gland was down lower between the outer and inner labias. Ahh the power of pain killers! I'm a nursing student and they do wonders! Just dont get hooked on them is all!:P 2005-11-07 17:42:37
155 781 It has been proved that the use of painkillers to mitigate the pain DO NOT CREATE ADDICTION, if you take them without pain you will get hooked. 2005-11-07 19:35:48
155 784 I'm glad that all is well, Princess.& Pain like that really does hurt. 2005-11-07 20:54:12
155 904 Hi On Sunday 11th December, I had another one of these swelling bumps only this time it was on the other side and lower down more inwards than the last one. It did not get as big as the last one but was just as painful and angry in the quickness that it swelled up. I have been on Cefalexin and Pain Killers since Monday morning and although it burst of its own accord, no doctor here seems to be able to tell me what is causing them. I had blood tests and cell samples taken from the first one but they all came back as normal. Normal? This is not normal by any stretch of the imagination so I have asked them this time to check for other things like hormone inbalance and polycystic ovaries. I have also arranged for a diabetes test to be done in a few days time. I have obviously researched this and looked up possible causes of cysts that grow within a few hours from a tiny dot to a walnut sized ball which causes pain like you wouldnt believe. But as far as I can tell, and the hospital confirmed this as well, it is not the Bartholin Glands. So what else could it be? I am healthy, 35 years old, am not on any medication and eat a healthy sensible diet and do not drink alchahol only the occasional glass of wine with a meal. So I simply can not accept this as 'normal' The anxiety these now two lumps have caused me is ridiculous. My mind first raced down the ovarian cancer route when the second one appeared and I have had a test for that which will come back in two weeks. Two weeks we will be right on top of the New Year. I feel frustrated because this situation does not make sense. Anyway, just wanted to share in the hope that someone has an insight into this. The lumps really are so painful and as I am sure you can imagine, on the inside of the vulva quite possibly is the worst place they could ever be. Princess 2005-12-16 09:47:09
155 988 OK this week I was presented with what can only be described as feeling as though I was being branded by a hot iron on my clit every time I moved my body a millimetre. Another two of these cysts grew first as tiny raised dots and then boy, within three hours they were like walnuts. Only this time one was covering my clitoris and the other one slightly lower on the left hand side so they touched each other. I shouted at the hospital and demanded that this was not normal. Today I get called back into the doctors office after being on a third set of antibiotics all since Tuesday. He said that I have a problem with producing insulin and progesterone and that could be causing this area on my body to behave like this. During the testing to rule out other things like ovarian cancer, polycystic ovarian syndrome and the onset of early menopause, they found unusually high levels of protein in my urine and abnormal bloods came back too. I have had a problem with producing progesterone for about two years now but to have developed into a diabetic as well? So more blood tests booked for this coming Tuesday morning. It is called a 'Fasting Sample' where you dont eat or drink anything the night before from about seven onwards only water is allowed. Then go for the test first thing in the morning. Straight after the blood is taken, you are given a glucose drink and then blood is taken again four hours later. I am fairly confident that I do have diabetes because of the other symptoms the doctor and I have discussed today. Like facial hair and falling asleep after eating certain foods. No one ever suggested looking at diabetes before really as being associated with cysts on the vulva. I find that weird because if you do a search on google for vulva cysts, almost every site points to a link with diabetes. I always say it, but when in doubt always seek medical advice and if you dont feel happy with the diagnosis, get a second opinion. Just think I could have lost some of my anatomy by now and the problem still not have been solved. The first thing anyone spoke to me about was surgery. I could not get out of there fast enough in November. There was no way I wanted to discuss it! There mere thought scared me to death. Anyway, at least if anyone out there gets an angry red lump that grows rapidly, ask to get your hormone levels checked along with the way your blood handles your sugar intake. It may well save you a lot of time and terrible pain in the process. Princess 2006-01-06 22:12:01
155 1326 I noticed a lump on my right labia yesterday and it's grown bigger, harder and more painful as the day progresses. I think its an abscess and I'll be going to see the doctor tomorrow. I'll be sure to have them check my hormone levels as well as do some diabetes testing. I'm glad I found this info. Thanks. 2006-03-19 22:09:04
155 1327 Ouch! I really feel for you just now. It was probably the most worrying thing even overtaking worrying when having stitches down there after giving birth. One thing you can do today is drink about six to eight pints of water. Ridiculous amount I know but that did help me with the last one I spoke about here. Touch wood, none have returned since but the antibiotics I took were pretty heavy going as it ended up with a weeks dose, then a few days after finishing them I started another two weeks dose of Cefalixin. They really did work for me. But having been on antibiotics for most of the time since early November, my skin hair and nails are in a bit of a run down state. But at least there has not been a repeat. I wish you well at the doctors and if the pain gets too unbearable you will have to get an emergency appointment for today or take yourself off to the emergency room. I hope it does not come to that but if you really cant bare it any longer dont feel bad or anything just go in to have this looked at. The sooner you get the antibiotics into your system the better. Do let me know how you get on. Princess 2006-03-20 06:47:38
155 1585 So for about three years or so, I've been getting ingrown hairs on the upper-inner most part of my thighs.& Just between the outer area of my labia and where my thigh meet--exactly where my underwear rub.& The last gyno I went to told me that they were ingrown hairs, and there was nothing I could do to prevent them, except to stop shaving.& So I did, but the bumps still came back, just as painful as ever.& Every couple of months I get them, they become extremely inflamed and painful.& I have scars on the insides of my thighs from this happening over the last couple of years.& I think I took my gyno's advice a little to seriously when she told me ther was nothing to do but stop shaving. I just moved to a new city and need to set up an appointment with a new gynocolegist, but I was wondering if anybody had any advice for me on this matter. & & 2006-05-11 16:28:18
155 1586 I did have a growth inside the labia and the doctor found that it was pus so he had to make an incission to drain it and left a wick inisde for one week and it is painful but I guess if you have& ingrown hairs why don't try a dermatologist maybe he has the solution...good luck Luisa 2006-05-11 16:52:10
155 1588 When I get an ingrown hair in the area you're talking about I usually take tweezers, locate the hair, and pull it out. Eventually the bump goes away in a day or two. I also put scar and disinfectant oinment on it to reduce the chances of scarring and from getting infected. The reason why you get bumps is because a "foreign object" is getting attacked by your body hence the pimple like form. Once the hair is removed, the body doesn't have anything to attack anymore. Hope this helps some. Since you have been growing your pubic hair out, you're more prone to getting ingrown hairs. If you keep your hair short and or trimmed regularly, you shouldn't really have a problem with them. I get them once in a blue moon. 2006-05-11 22:35:03
155 1591 Thank you, that is very helpful! 2006-05-13 15:24:52
155 1605 No problem. 2006-05-14 17:32:21
155 1696 Hi, I am new to this forum.& I have been suffering from vaginal "pimples" for years.& I have become completely frustrated.& I am healthy and have had multiple test done to figure out what the cause is.& In the beginning I was convinced my sores were sexually transmitted, even though I had been super safe all these years.& Each doctor tells me these bumps that pop up about once every 2-3 months are simple pimples (I have been to 3 different doctors during the outbreak and they just pop them and tell me I am fine).& This past weekend, my boyfriend and I (he lives in another state) got together.& Within a day, I got three bumps.& Granted we were way& more active than a day to day couple sexually.& That was Saturday and I still have& two (of three).& One popped and did its usual release Monday.& Does anyone have any idea why these occur?& I have had thousands of dollars worth of tests done.& I have been tested for every single STD.& Nothing. Tests are perfect.& In a super strange way, I wish there was some label!& Then I could do something about this.& I am a very clean woman so I don't buy into the fact this is due to not being clean enough.& Please, I am begging for any information.& I do the salt bath, in fact heading for one after I am done with this post.& I do not wear thong underwear but DID shave right before my boyfriends visit, could shaving be causing these? Any advice or help is much appreciated! 2006-06-14 22:27:02
155 1705 Yes shaving can cause bumps as can friction if at certain times of the month you are dryer than usual. Use one of the water based lubricating gels during sex to help with the friction. I had loads of tests done as well but I am still not convinced about the hormone thing even though all test show that my hormone levels are normal what ever that means :) I am now trying wild chaste berry tablets. I have heard great things about them so thought I would give them a try myself. I have only been taking them since Tuesday of this week so will be able to let you know if anything has improved in about another two weeks or so. One thing to consider too is what your boyfriend eats and uses to wash himself with like strong soaps and alcahol as these can have an affecct on your delicate skin area as well. Princess 2006-06-16 07:41:43
155 1814 Thank you for all the information.& I got a lump in my labia, is painful.& My husband checked it out and he doesn't think is infected(there is no discharge or bad smell).& He thinks is maybe that hair cut the labia or something like that.& 2006-06-28 14:50:07
155 1815 I honestly think it might be a combination of shaving then having sexual intercourse, which might infect or irritate the minor cuts that happen when shaving?& Maybe some women are prone to these horrible little nightmares.& Ugh. 2006-06-28 15:11:43
155 1816 Yes, my husband and I are very active.& & I will definetely go to the doctor if it gets worst.& Reading all about another females's experiences& and their symptoms made me feel a lot better to know I'm not alone!!! Thank you for your quick response. 2006-06-28 15:38:21
155 1817 Yes it is good to know you are not the only one isnt it :) I would still get it checked just to be on the safe side though. It could turn out to be nothing but it can also be the first sign of something completely obscure you just never know and there are somethings that only a proper check up may reveal. So my advice would be to get it checked out at a Well Woman Clinic or similar if you dont want to see your doctor about it. Princess 2006-06-28 16:45:13
155 1818 & Dear flower..some time ago I had the same problem..a lump in the labia painful tothe touch, even wiping out after peeing so i went to the doctor and found it was like an ingrown hair infected and he made an incision and squezed the pus out and let a piece of cotton for drain and gave me antibiotics; about a week later he pulled the wick and I healed ok.....don't wait to long& Love Luisa 2006-06-28 18:16:18
155 1839 Hi everybody!!! Well, good news, I had a check up and it was an inflamed gland.& Even my doctor told me that she had one just like that last week.& One thing she explained me is that this is& OK to happened maybe once per year, or maybe later in life, but it is not suppose to happened all the time.& Thanks for all your support on this discussion. 2006-07-03 15:00:11
157 765 I have read that a woman is to avoid touching a man by teeth during bj. Is it true? My bf likes it and asks about it. 2005-11-06 14:31:44
157 766 Hello if your boyfriend likes being touched by your teeth then what difference does it make? Just enjoy what you have and what works well for one couple may not work for another. This is a person thing. Obviously biting would be something a lot more potentially dangerous but if you are doing something that works for him, then carry on. Princess 2005-11-06 15:04:42
157 776 [user=2]Princess[/user] wrote: "Hello if your boyfriend likes being touched by your teeth then what difference does it make?" Just curious... I was very careful and was afraid of touching him by teeth but then he asked me to do it... 2005-11-07 09:05:23
157 778 that is great if he likes it. My Partner loves it when I run the edge of my teeth gently along the shaft. We have never discussed it, it is just something I did one day that sent him wild! Princess 2005-11-07 10:40:53
157 782 I mostly avoid it, I'm morely affraid of hurting the man.& I have seen a scar left from a girl on one of my partners.& The girl scraped her teeth on his shaft.& I think a slight nibble and lightly running your teeth along the shaft is probably good. 2005-11-07 20:41:24
158 767 Hi, I need help! I dont seem to be able to orgasm? I rub and think and rub more but i get a tingle and nothing else.How do i learn to "explode" on my own? I dont really enjoy vibes but want more clit action! plz help if ya can. Thanx boox 2005-11-06 18:22:29
158 769 Hi firstly can I ask how old you are? Have you had children and have you been on any form of medication in the last six months? Take things very slowly. Dont make an orgasm your goal. This just creates a vicious cycle and the more desperate you are to have an orgasm you wont be able to have one. Caress yourself. Do what feels good for you. Avoid touching your clitoris for at least half an hour of pleasing yourself some other way. Perhaps laying down naked stroking your body all over gently. Imagining someone from a fantasy o yours is doing the stroking. Use feathers, and other textured objects to stroke your skin. Caress yourself lovingly. Build up a fantasy in your mind. Let your imagination flow. Visualize the scene. Are you floating on a boat laid out bare where no one can see you miles from the shore with the person of your dreams just pleasing you? Touch your clitoris gently do not rub it. Just gentle strokes. Trying too hard has the opposite effect. Relax more. Use essential aromatherapy massage oils. Enjoy exploring your body. All its curves and softness. Love the way your skin feels. Breathe deeply and slowly. Sink into your pillows. Just dream. It will happen for you but it will take a bit of time. Make orgasm a last resort for now. Forget about it. There is a whole body to explore. Leave your clitoris alone for at least two weeks while you explore the rest of you. Enjoy yourself fully. An orgasm will happen when it has no place else to go other then to errupt for you in waves of pleasure. Princess 2005-11-06 20:33:33
158 796 Firstly thanx for the reply. I am 45 and have had 2 children.....i am currently taking anti depressants, does this make it harder?.... i have always been a bit difficult to get to the point i would love to be, but have only recently started to try to find pleasure on my own. I am divorced now, but my ex did humiliating stuff to me previously.I just want to feel like others have said they feel. Boox .x 2005-11-11 15:54:19
158 798 Hi there, Yes, anti depressants will be the cause of you not being able to achieve orgasms. Discuss with your doctor your dosage and how it is affecting your not feeling sensations in your vulva and clitoris. The dosage may be too high, you may have been on one type too long, or, you may need a different type. Try a vibrator. Many many women can only achieve a proper fulfilling orgasm with one. I used one only in the last two years and learnt what proper orgasms were supposed to be like. I had a history of on and off with anti depressants and have been off them now completely for well over a whole year. I have much more feeling in my clitoris now than ever before. I am 35 years old and the mother of five. Nowadays, even my partner can bring me to orgasms. He used to use the vibrator with me but recently we have progressed without this year. It is a wonderful feeling when you start to experience proper pulsing orgasms either on your own or with someone else. I know how you feel. Like half a woman. That is how I felt before. Also, I must admit I took viagra on two occasions when I was on anti depressants. Worked wonders! Princess 2005-11-11 17:23:58
158 817 Thanx princess for you're advice i will keep you posted. X 2005-11-15 14:40:44
159 779 Hello all. Im a 26 year old woman living in the UK. I found the clitoris.com via one of the vaginismus support groups I am a member of and found it to be a real eye-opener. I think every young person should read that site and every older person too for that matter. I have passed it around to no end of people. Anyway, to the main point. As I already mentioned, I'm a woman who is lucky enough to be lumbered with vaginismus. I suffered in silence since I found out at 22 and, only earlier this year, did I seek help after joining the groups and finally talking to other sufferers. I've only had one BF and that only lasted 6 months, I called it off, not him. We weren't compatible generally and& I found myself wanting to avoid any situation that might lead up to another attempt at sex and we argued about that a lot. I don't think he realised what I was trying to avoid.& I knew what it was I was suffering from because I had read about it previously but went into denial about it so I couldn't discuss it with him and he thought it was just nerves and that it would work out of we kept trying. Since then, I have been too scared to date anyone else because of this condition. I don't, and never have, desired to have children. I'm much better with animals and don't even like babies very much but not many blokes will stick around if there is no intercourse, like it or lump it. I know it says a woman shouldn't be oblicated in the clit.com website but try telling most blokes that. Also, it is something I would like to be able to do for me, I want to, at least, feel what it's like. I'm on the pill because I had too many problems with periods before, I got all the physical symptoms, not the mood swings though, and& I got em bad. I used to feel crap every month and really wouldn't want to go back to that so I stayed on the pill. I recently bought a set of dilators with four sizes and can insert the first two but used to practise with my fingers before that and can insert up to two although it's tight and a bit uncomfortable. I have no probs with masturbation and orgasm and can have over 20 orgasms in one session, not uncommon actually, I never settle with just one, I got greedy, I suppose. I usually make myself have at least 15 before I'll finish but, on the couple of occasions when I decided to count to see how many I was having, I counted 21 the first time and 26 the second...phew, I didn't know I was having that many, haha. if only I didn't have this dratted vag and sexual aversion and I'd be well away. I've started with therapy now at a clinic that specializes in sexual dysfunctions, just talking, nothing physical so far although I'm not sure what future treatment I'll get. I've been twice and have to go every two weeks. I've never had a successful smear test, I tried to have one but the speculum made me feel like& I was being split in two and the nurse couldn't open it up to take the swab so we had to abort. That was a horrible horrible experience. I've never gone back for another attempt. I've never been sexually abused or anything but I was picked on a lot at school, made to feel ugly and inadequate and lads never fancied me although people tell me now that I am attractive, I still feel that inadequacy and can't seem to shake it off. I'm also a compulsive skin picker as a result of my depression and anxiety. It stemmed from acne and wanting rid of the spots and then escalated to a plain obsession with squeezing stuff out of my skin so& I make myself look a mess by doing that and can't stop even though I know it will make a mess. Big question is, what would most of the blokes in this forum say and think if they started dating a woman who, after a few dates, informed them she had vaginismus and that intercourse was impossible for her, at least for the time being until she got it cured and the time taken to cure this can vary from weeks to years. Would you be able to handle it ok or would you run in the opposite direction? I know that if a bloke did run, he wouldn't be worth it but my self image is low enough as it is, I'm not sure if I could cope with an emotional blow like that. Would you also be willing, if you did stick around, to take part in the treatment of it, attend therapy with the woman, join in during dilating sessions, things like that? Anyway, this is getting a little long now. I'll be glad for any replies and will answer any other questions you might ask as well as I can. Thanks for reading. 2005-11-07 15:40:05
159 795 Well, I see there isn't much hope for me then judging by the large number of replies I got. 2005-11-11 09:48:05
159 797 Hello, do you suffer from Primary vaginismus or Secondary vaginismus? Princess 2005-11-11 17:17:05
159 799 Hello, thanks for replying. I have primary vaginismus. 2005-11-11 17:37:05
159 801 Hello thanks for replying. I have to confess, I did not answer your original enquiry because I had to research a bit more on the subject for my reference etc as I did not want to give you false info on the problem you are having. You may already know this but there is a Yahoo group which covers this subject in full run by other sufferers of primary vaginismus. Give them a try if you are not already a member. health.groups.yahoo.com/group/primaryvaginismus/ This paper challenges the efficacy of a cognitive-behavioral treatment model for women with primary vaginismus and proposes a conceptual shift from a focus on behavior to a focus on differentiation. Given that there are psychological as well as physical symptoms to this condition, what treatment are you or have you received for the psychological side effects? Also, with the orgasms, you mention that you enjoy reading the-clitoris.com and have found it useful. Have you read the definition of an 'orgasm' set out on the site? I am having a bit of trouble understanding how you claim to be having up to 15 or more orgasms in one session with yourself, when you have primary vaginismus which effects both the pelvic floor muscles and the mind as well. Lots of young women talk of having more than the average orgasms through masturbation during one session by themselves. But then when their sexuality grows and they gain a few more years experience, they realise that they were not experiencing the orgasms fully at all and where they originally counted say 15 during one session, now know it to be only three multiples, one after the other. You are functioning on one level in that you are able to achieve sexual pleasure through stimulation of your clitoris. It is just penetration you are having pain with - is that part right? How do you feel about older men / partners? It may be that you need someone clued up on primary vaginismus and who will actually take the time to learn and be gentle with you. I am fairly confident that you will overcome this condition with the right partner and yourself. The pain part sounds dreadful. I was sorry to hear that you have to go through this and sorry that I could not have been more help. Princess 2005-11-12 06:08:40
159 802 Hello I understand the need to research the condition before replying as it is little recognized in general even among doctors. I am already a member of both the yahoo vag groups and post there regularly. It was from one of those groups that I found the clit.com website. I had my first orgasm at 18 and it was quite by accident. I have read what orgasms are supposed to feel like in the clit.com website and these do pretty much match, The build up with that weird tangy feeling starting in the clit and spreading outwards, then the sudden jerk and the pelvic throbbing, I even feel the little muscle contractions in my vagina when they happen and they are explosive in mind as well as body. I know the record for orgasms is 100 in one hour so somebody in one of the vag groups said so I don't come anywhere near that. Still, they can't be anything else. I used to only have about one or two a session and it gradually became higher as time went by and I got better at it. I suppose I'm still& able to have all those orgasms despite the vag& because: A. When I had my first one, I had no idea I had vag and so wasn't mentally aware which is why it didn't affect me. I was 18 then and only found out about the vag at age 22 by which time, I was already having quite a number of orgasms in one session and had become quite trained in it so to speak. B. There is no pressure for penetration when by myself. It is something I just don't have to worry about and, if I do try it with fingers etc..it is on my own terms and that was only after months of practising dilating with fingers beforehand so that I was comfortable with it. C. People often think that vag women must be frigid with is false. They are usually perfectly capable of experiencing arousal and orgasm through alternative means that don't involve penetration. I never orgasmed with my ex mind. As for the treatment, I'm having psychosexual counselling although I only had two sessions up to yet. Up to now it has basically been talking about my childhood, growing up, events that happened, trying to find anything that could have triggered the vag and then maintained it afterwards. Also, I have homeworks on improving my self image like choosing certain body parts I am ok about and pampering them...looking at my vulva and identifying all the bits etc...things like that. I wasn't clueless about my anatomy or anything although I certainly wasn't familiar enough with my own vulva and did have a certain degree of an aversion to it which I am working on. I still don't use fingers to stimulate myself, I use other things. My sister doesn't have vag but, she too, has this same aversion. I'm being forced to face mine whereas she probably never will. "You are functioning on one level in that you are able to achieve sexual pleasure through stimulation of your clitoris. It is just penetration you are having pain with - is that part right?" Yes, thats right. I don't mind the idea of a partner a little older than me, in fact I prefer them a little older than younger. Still, I worry that they are too used to having problem free penetration with previous partners& and that they wouldn't want the bother of messing around with me and my problem. Also, if anybody shows an interest in me that I actually like in return, I wonder why they'd look twoce at me, I see them as being out of my league, thus, I'm too petrified to do anything about it or even let it show that I do like them and then they think I am not interested. I will go to that link you provided now and have a read. Thanks for replying. Still, I have researched all of this a lot myself and with the other girls in the vags groups, it is the opinions of men about this condition that we lack, especially us singletons. Some of the women in the groups have partners or are married and the vag can prove to cause some serious problems ranging from arguments about not getting sex to the man& actually cheating on the woman or leaving her because he can't cope without intercourse any longer or the man developing impotence due to a fear of hurting the woman and, sometimes, bluntly blaming the woman for it. Makes single vag women like me feel pretty hopeless about finding a good partner. 2005-11-12 09:14:56
159 803 Hello again, I am getting the feeling that your problem is more psychological than physical in terms of being able to achieve sexual pleasure. Many women would say that penetration from a man is not all it is hyped up to be but then if you are without something, the need to try it out weights the masses I suppose. With powerful orgasms, the opening to the vagina and all around the vulva contracts with the muscles used from your pelvic floor. Essentially, that is the opposite of the definition of your condition. In your childhood, were you allowed to watch films or see adult material? I would suggest that you have seen something which frightened you terribly at an age when you were too young to remember it. Now you are a young woman with natural desire, your subsconscious is preventing you from moving on. Have you watched a movie called "Cybil" which came out in the late 1970's early 1980"s? It may help if you can get hold of a copy. I have not seen a copy of the film for some five years now but there must be one somewhere perhaps in a library. Then I would like to suggest further reading from an author Pat Califia. Brad often recommends her books to people. Essentially she is a transexual but her writings help put you in tune with your femininity and sexuality as well. Do not be put off by her being a transexual. Her insight into the female mind and sexuality is amazingly correct and appropriate in your case as well I think you will benefit from reading her books. With regards to an older man, by the time a man reaches say 45 to 55 years old, they have a lot of experience. Granted, they may not have experience with the physical aspects of your condition, but, they do have experience with partners and are very sensitive towards other aspects of sex aside from penetration. Different types of love making become relevant for some men of that age and they can and are exciting too. What about being with a woman? Have you thought about that? I would not rule that out either. There are so many options open to you to have a fulfilling sex life as you are young and I am confident with the right analysis you will overcome this and achieve a great many things. Princess 2005-11-13 07:25:31
159 805 Hello again I don't think I could ever, and& I mean EVER, go with another woman. I have nothing against homosexuals but it is not something I would ever want to indulge in myself, the thought makes me feel sick and doesn't attract me in the slightest. I must admit, I have asked myself whether I was gay before due to lack of boyfriends, it took me longer than many to even get interested in them in the first place but being as most were generally just nasty to me, I found myself not feeling comfortable with them anyway. I think the bullying and such that I got at school played a big part and making me how I am. I was never viewed as being attractive even thought my therapist thinks I am. I have trouble believing people when they say that like they are just trying to make me feel better. At school, I was made to feel ugly and inadequate, I had some mates who said I'd die a virgin but then they were just little slappers who slept around and thought they knew everything there was to know about sex and sexuality. Nobody ever fancied me either, I just thought I was too ugly and nobody would ever want me and I can't seem to shake that crap off. I know this is more psychological than physical. I always had issues about inserting things which is why I never used tampons, I was too scared to try them, that they wouldn't go in or it would hurt or something like that, I'm not really sure. This was well before I knew about vaginismus, I read about that in my late teens in More magazine. It was that same magazine that taught me about the existence of the clitoris because you don't get taught those things at school, sex ed at school was pretty crap and they wonder why all these kids get preggers. As for seeing things as a child, I don't really remember anything that affected me or that sticks in my mind as being something that could cause this. I did sometimes accidentally see things kids shouldn't, scary films, nudity, stuff like that. I can't think of anything though that might contribute to this. Still, I am discussing anything and everything with the therapist but, even then, we can only speculate that something might have been responsible, can't we, it could be something else entirely. I think the school bullying does play a large part because things that happened then sort of crop up in my mind a lot during situations where this problem rears it's ugly head or when I try to think about why I feel this way. The only thing that I know of which traumatized me at an age when& I couldn't remember was accidentally slipping under the water whilst in the bath with my older brother. My grandmother took on the job of getting me to go in the bath again and would have to bathe me in the sink for months and I would cling onto her for dear life so she said before gradually getting me to go back in the bath again. I was never a good swimmer and it wasn't until I started going swimming with school at age 8-9 that they could even get me to go into a swimming pool, not even the shallow end. Even now, I feel claustrophobic if I go under water, I don't like it at all. I don't remember any of the initial fear and being scared to go in the bath because I was only a toddler, I think, I only knew myself that I didn't enjoy deeper water like in a swimming pool etc... I haven't seen a movie called Cybil or even heard of it. I work at Blockbusters though so I am in a good position to find out whether it can still be obtained. As for the orgasms, I'm not alone there. Many women in the vag groups are perfectly capable of having them, whether they have primary or secondary vag. Some aren't but then there are a lot of non vag women that have trouble having them too. I'm not the worst care scenario, I have always been able to have a finger inserted without pain, just nothing the size of a speculum or penis, my ex's penis would not go in at all, it felt like there wasn't even a hole there for it to go in and it hurt so much, I'd have to push him off and tell him to stop. Some women can't even insert a cotton bud. The largest thing& I can insert is the #2 dilator which is 1" in girth and that causes some discomfort and slight pain on entry and taking out. Also, if I let go of the handle, it pops out on it's own, the muscles pushing it out. It also hurts if I try to purposely clench my muscles around it like a kegel although I could do that with two fingers inserted without any pain. Still, I feel like I'm relaxed when I do this, I don't feel the spasms other woman talk about, I just know it hurts and that it feels tight. I also notice that my muscles clench up a lot when I'm walking showering and such. I try to relax them when I think about it& but they clench up again as soon as I'm not thinking about them or not concentrating fully on them. Also, it feel strange walking with them relaxed, like my insides are going to fall out or something. I have my third session at the porterbrook on Thursday. Now that I know how to get there and back which worried me last time because it takes three buses and about an hours travel through areas unknown to me, I'm actually looking forward to it. I'll keep you updated on how that goes. I suppose, if anything, getting info on this right from the horses mouth will increase your pool of knowledge as it will mine. 2005-11-13 10:50:59
159 806 Hello, On being Ugly - only YOU can feel one way or the other about that. If you feel ugly on the inside, you will radiate this for others. If you feel something good about yourself, it will show in your smile, in the way you present yourself and the way you are. I understand completely about that side of emotional torment. I battled with it for years until I finally let go and freed myself from the chains that bound me. No one no matter how well intended or heartfelt can tell you how beautiful you are and expect you to believe them especially if this has been ongoing most of your life and you have felt and believed yourself to be ugly. I wish you well for your next appointment. I hope this place you are going to is the right place for you. Here in the UK things are very limited with unchartered territory in the medical profession. So I am sure you have waited and waited on a list before being seen at all. So congratulations for actually making it through two appointments and now anticipating your third. With the subconscious mind, you may very well have seen something which scared the absolute crap out of you when you were little and then your mind has erased it from the main part of your brain so that you can get on with your life. It is a possibility. Even if you were a baby or too young to understand that what you saw was overwhelming, at some point in your life something has caused you to physically clam up so now you are at the beginning of a long journey unravelling yourself again to get back to the source of what ever it was that started this all off for you. May I be so humble and to suggest you keep a journal about yoru appointments, how you feel, all your emotions etc? Try www.livejournal.com for an online journal which you can make secure so that no one else can read it. Also look here www.writingthejourney.com/ for useful tips on journal writing. One more thing before I head off into the kitchen - please do not misunderstand this or take it the wrong way as I am in no way suggesting that you have this - but - read up multiple personality disorder. The reason I am suggesting this for you is because, obviously something is going on inside of your mind which is causing you a lot of physical sexual problems which in turn is causing you emotional stress too and a great deal of anxiety because there is no quick fix to the problems. One aspect of multi personality disorder treatment is allowing yourself the freedom to explore your own mind and all its faults, emotions and traumas with someone else. It strikes me that the treatment of MPD is in keeping with what the center may be hoping will work for you as well when trying to get to the bottom of your phobia and the physical reactions, clenching of muscles etc. So forearmed is forewarned as it were. Read about the treatment of MPD. It may ring true for you you just never know. Princess 2005-11-13 13:02:11
159 808 [user=315]Canis Lupess[/user] wrote: "Well, I see there isn't much hope for me then judging by the large number of replies I got."There is hope for you.& I apologize, I didn't say anything, because I just didn't know what to say.& 2005-11-13 18:04:53
159 809 Hello Thanks for the info. I'm not sure about multiple personality disorder, I'll have to look it up. Still, I do have dermatillomania which is a compulsive skin picking disorder and is a type of Obsessive compulsive disorder although I don't really have any other OCD tendancies other than the skin picking....that I've noticed. I also believe I am pretty high scoring with Borderline and avoidant. Basically, I'm a messed up person, lol. I have a lot to get through. Thats an idea, writing a journal. If anything, it can help other women who have my problem in the future. I don't mind sharing all this crap with other vag sufferers because they can't judge me, they are in the same boat. The place& I am going to is the Porterbrook clinic. It specializes in sexual dysfunctions. I'm lucky I live as close to it as I do even if it is still a little way out. There is a website for this clinic but it seems the site is down at the moment for some reason. Vaginismus is one of the more common problems they deal with in women but they deal with pretty much anything that can affect sex lives and sexuality. I had been waiting a few months for the first appintment.& I went to see the GP in March after suffering in silence for nearly 4 years, she referred me, in May, I get a letter and forms from the porterbrook that I had to fill out and send back within 4 weeks to comfirm I still wanted treatment and then heard from them again 2 weeks before the first appointment which was on the 20th of October and I go every other Thursday so that made it 5 months since the porterbrook contacted me but 7 months since seeing the GP who referred me. It seems it isn't just the UK that has few resources for vag. Women in the groups from all over the world report the same problem finding a medical proffessional that understands their problem or even knows what it is. Many have been told by docs to just have a few glasses of wine and relax. How stupid is that? I read up about vaginismus in the More magazine, yes, I found a lot out from reading those. I'm glad I did because I wouldn't have known what was wrong with me if I hadn't read up about it before. Many women who find they have this don't even know it is a condition with a name at first. Everyone knows what impotence is but hardly anyone knows what vaginismus is. Oh, Sorry Ladybug, you got in there just before me. I know that most people wouldn't really understand my condition very much but I was hoping I'd get some male opinions on how they'd react and feel if they started dating somebody who turned out to have my problem so that I could, at least, get a few mens views on this. 2005-11-13 18:07:42
159 814 Hi how did your appointment go today? I was thinking about you earlier on today. In answer to your last question about how men would feel if dating someone like you - I think it is too broad a question to ask for many men. Initially, I asked someone today how they would feel if they were with someone who could not be penetrated and he said that as long as they loved each other and he could stimulate her and be intimate with her in another way than he would not feel like he was missing anything especially. Then he flippantly said that as long as her mouth still worked things would work out well :) He was just being honest and I am guessing that a lot of men may have the same reaction to that or may suggest trying anal sex instead as vaginal or may be happy to wait for you to have treatment at the clinic if the emotional bond between you was strong enough. Princess 2005-11-14 16:47:44
159 815 Hello, the appointment is on Thursday, lol. I'll let you know how it went. Thanks for trying to get some info for me about what men would think. There are some women in the vag groups who feel guilty not being able to have ic and sexual encounters consist of them giving their partners blow jobs and all the rest whilst he does nothing in return because he doesn't feel he owe's her. Man, if any bloke did that to me, he'd be out. As for anal sex, no way. I have IBS and have problems regarding that part of my anatomy as well. In fact, muscle spasms occassionally happen when I'm trying to go to the loo as well and can make it a little awkward trying to pass a stool. I just wouldn't want to do it anyway but my IBS and other problems would make it highly uncomfortable. It can feel very tight just trying to pass a stool, never mind taking a penis. Another woman recently posted in one of the vag groups and I feel so sorry for her. She's 29 and her husband who is only 24 has recently left her because of her vag after 6 yrs of marriage even though& the condition& has improved with treatment and dilators. He has also told all his mates and family about her problem saying she's frigid and can't satisfy him in bed and has already started dating and having sex with other women. She also says that everyone, including his mum, says that he's the victim in all of this because he can't have his sex and everyone seems to agree. Sheesh. How ridiculous are people? This is in California too, not some third world country. She has nobody to talk to and sounds pretty bad, lost weight and such. She says he also refused counselling and never wanted to be part of the treatment but that it is still all her fault. 2005-11-14 16:59:29
159 822 Well, I had my appointment. Today, the therapist talked about the stages of arousal and how the vagina expands and all the rest. I already knew about that after reading up on it in the clit.com website. She asked me if I already knew and I said I did. We also talked about my skin picking which contributes to the general low self-esteem. She mention Cognitive behavioural therapy which I have read about but too many medical proffessionals don't seem to have a clue about it so I was pleased she did. She showed me a book called "Overcoming low self-esteem", by Melanie Fennell and I have to get hold of a copy myself so I'll order one from Amazon. I have to keep a record of thoughts, feelings and situations just prior to getting an urge to pick and record them down so we can start to work out a pattern or something. She also asked me what things I'd come up with so far to help stop me picking. Most things I have come up with are only any use when I'm here at the computer desk, things like having a blob of blu-tac to mess about with or an elastic band to keep my hands busy and also putting an elastic band around my upper arm and twanging it hard if I get an urge to pick that area. They've worked to an extent and reduced the number and amount of picking but they haven't eliminated it because I pick at other times too when these measures are useless like in the shower and away from the comp desk etc.... She also talked about kegels. I told her I already did those when I remembered. She told me to try a general muscle relaxation technique where I lie down without other destractions, tense all the muscles in my feet and legs for about 10 seconds and then let them fully relax and then work up the body so to speak and then do that same thing with my pc muscles and do it just before dilating. She also asked about things I do generally. I told her about my artwork and she asked what type of thing I did. I always have some photos of my work in my handbag so I got them out and let her look at those, lol. She told me to keep on with the dilator #2, the one I'm on now and see if I could work over the next couple of weeks into getting comfortable with that one and moving up to #3. Not sure I'll manage it in 2 weeks but I'll work on it. I'll update you more when there is more info to update you with. 2005-11-17 09:16:17
159 897 After more practise with the dilator..mainly when I am aroused, I have managed to move up to size three out of a set of 4. I got it nearly all the way in, further than I expected because I wasn't aroused and it is quite long really. I shall try it when I am aroused. There wasn't much pain, only a very slight one so I'm glad about that. It did feel tight though. 2005-12-12 19:12:54
159 900 Hey well done :) That is great news! Princess 2005-12-13 12:40:04
159 902 Hi Canis, Looks like I can post today.& :) Thanks for the update. It is nice to hear you are making progress. Something that I have found to help women insert larger objects vaginally and anally is to pretend and try to push the object out, then relax. Do the opposite of what you want momentarily. So squeeze your pc muscles and try to push the dilator out, then relax. You should& be using only a single finger to press or hold the dilator in place. You don't really want to use force or pressure. My unprofessional opinion. When doing Kegels be sure to keep your stomach muscles relaxed. You can do this by placing one hand on your stomach to monitor those muscles. The same muscles that encircle the vagina also encircle the anus, so those who are open to the idea can try inserting objects anally to help them determine if it is a tight muscle issue or contact sensitivity of the vulva, hymen, or vagina that is the issue. You will want to use an object other than your vaginal dilators, because they don't have a flared base. I hope this helps. Brad 2005-12-14 10:47:20
159 903 Hello, thanks for that. A lot of girls in the vag groups had mentioned about the pushing out to help open the ring of muscles up so I do use that approach along with other things like breathing deeply and kegels just beforehand. I knew not to contract the stomach muscles, my therapist said you shouldn't see or notice anything happen with your stomach. I find that I can make the muscles relax further by jiggling the dilator or my fingers around once inside. This sort of soothes them and I can then insert the object even further. Another women also mentioned she does this and it helps her as well. As for pushing things in with force, no way. Too scared of doing that and it hurting too much. I also warm the dilator up because there is nothing worse than inserting a freezing cold object. As for inserting things anally, nah, that does not appeal to me in the slightest. I have IBS which can cause problems there, I would definitely not be tempted by the idea of anal sex...ever!!!! I sometimes feel the muscles around the anus spasming when I try to pass a stool although this doesn't always happen, it does happen involutarily and is more of an inconvenience and annoyance when you want to hurry up because you are late for work and the stool is ready to come out otherwise and keeps trying to. Anybody else noticed how you suddenly need to go to pass a stool when you are in a rush to get off somewhere and then it insists of taking its bloody time and holding you up? LOL!!!! Still, vag is just one problem and, with this progress I am seeing, probably the easier problem to overcome. My BDD, obsessive skin picking and sexual aversion (Partner sex, that is)& will be a bit more difficult, I think. I have another therapy appointment tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes. She'll be pleased I got onto #3 but I'll not have& much good news to tell her about improving my social life, not like I haven't tried but people I know are useless when it comes to motivating them into doing things. 2005-12-14 11:04:16
159 1718 Hi, I added a new article to the website today that addresses the subject of Finding the Vagina. If a teen/woman knows what they are looking for and how to go about finding it this may help prevent vaginismus from developing. The information presented may help resolve very mild cases of vaginismus. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/loc_vag.htm Brad 2006-06-18 23:56:55
159 1720 I agree it will all help. Thanks for posting it. Still, when girls are brought up from very& young to be ashamed and disgusted by that general area, it can make them reluctant to even want to attempt to find it....like me. I probably know my vulva better than many other women now who never had vag but only because I had to. One of the girls in a vag support group, she's in the U.K same as me, has asked to do some research for her uni course, and got the go ahead,& about the possibility of vag and general anxiety being related. I have general anxiety disorder and she says that she also suffers from anxiety. All the women in the group are up for answering questionaires and such when she makes a start on the project. If you want,& I can ask her if& she can share some findings with you for clit.com. I know many people& go to clit.com and all of us vag women crave more awareness about our condition. There is still a major problem with awareness of vaginismus with many sufferers taking years to find out whats wrong with them and there are also many in the medical proffession who don't know about vaginismus as lots of women in the vag group have found. Even if they do know about it, even fewer have any idea as to how to treat it. The girl doing the reasearch was told her vagina was simply& too small and this devastated her into thinking she'd never manage IC and that she had something physically wrong. Since dilating and such, the opening started to look much bigger naturally and now she knows the doc who told her she was too small was talking out of his arse. I know that& child sexual development& is addressed in your site which is great but, unfortunately, the general public just& don't have a clue. Everyday, I see adults suppressing their childs natural development because they view it as abnormal and unhealthy. They'd probably think there was something wrong with me if I told them how things really are. 2006-06-19 11:47:17
159 1722 I& just read the new page and thought it was quite helpful for young girls wanting to find their vagina. Looking at proper photos of vulvas is also helpful, something I never got to do. It was all those stupid little diagrams for me and many of those didn't even show any detail. Just three holes and thats it. No labia or clitoris or anything else. I think they assumed we didn't need to know about all of that. I think that society is scared that if girls are taught too much about their sexuality too early, it means they'll start having sex at an earlier age so they are unwilling to teach girls what they need to know. Instead, they let them go walking blindly into it all. 2006-06-19 12:32:34
159 6570 Forget sex and boyfriends. You have issues to work through. Sort out a career. Make women friends. Find a hobby or two that excites you. Some some very private time exploring your body and daydreaming. Masturbate, slowly and gently. Don't go all the way unless you are in the mood. Your spelling and complete betray that you are unusually educated. Knowledge is power, never forget that. 2009-04-06 02:01:51
160 793 Ok. Well I'm new to this site and& I joined because& I have a problem I'm worried :? about. First off, I am not sexually active...But sometimes& I get these weird pimples down there. Well when& I got my first one...I very painfully got rid off it. But now sometimes& I get these odd bumps or red spots in a couple places there. it doesnt seem likea rash and the red spots or bumps arent usually painful or itchy..they're just there. I obviously need some professional advice so if anyone could give me some, that would be great. thanks, Pinkchick 2005-11-10 20:28:09
160 794 Hello and Welcome we have had lots of discussion on here over the past month about this subject. You could read some of the previous posts about spots pimples and acne. You really need to see a doctor who can actually see the spots for themselves to assess what they are. It could be herpes related, impetigo related or any viral infection. Or indeed it could just be that you get spots where you dont want them. Some people do and whilst this may not be what you want, they are nothing to worry about. I would make an appointment with your doctor and ask him or her to take a look just to rule out anything major. They may even suggest things like diet and other lifestyle changes that will help improve things. Princess 2005-11-11 09:44:39
166 848 It's a simple problem: my wife hates cunnilingus. Or does she? She will NOT let me go down on her. If I kiss her anywhere south of her breasts, he hands immediately go down between her legs in "cover-up" mode and she pulls me back up. I've tried to discuss it with her, either in or out of bed. I've told her how loving and trusting and pleasurable it is, how it turns me on intensely, and how it could add some spice to our rapidly waning sex life. I've even said that I've read PLENTY of endorsements from women -- especially on this Web site. But she's adamantly against it: "It's not natural" or "It's for whores," she says. Oh, but guess what: the dozen or so times we DID indulge in cunnilingus (this has not happened for many years, and about half of them occurred when she had had enough alcohol to loosen her inhibitions), she went absolutely WILD. She held my head in place, thrusted herself toward me, moaned wantonly, and had an incredibly full and pleasurable orgasm -- or two! Each time it gave me the hardest of erections, something I don't experience as much as I used to, and each time it led the way to some of the most intense and pleasurable and loving intercourse we've EVER experienced. We are both 59, have what I would call "a pretty good relationship in most ways," and have been married since 1971. We had regular intercourse until around age 50, when she started losing interest. Quite ironically, she complains often about our current sex life, which is now practically non-existent. I have told her how she could help things improve by loosening some of her inhibitions, by letting me give her some oral loving. In addition, I have tried to convince her how her vaginal dryness problem (which she has had for more than 25 years) would disappear -- not only from what I could contribute to it but also from the fact that she has always self-lubricated liberally during cunnilingus. I realize that everyone has his or her sexual limitations. If she had never enjoyed cunnilingus before, I could possibly understand her position. And by the way, I have never asked for "reciprocity" -- because her phobia about cunnilingus is NOTHING compared to how she feels about fellatio! I may be the only 59 year-old guy on the planet who's never been blown, if you'll pardon the colloquialism. Women, I would deeply value your suggestions and your opinions, either supportive or critical. Thank you! 2005-11-28 09:47:26
166 849 Hello and Welcome Throughout reading your post, I thought, hormone problems, lack of progesterone. Then neat the bottom of your post where you mention the vaginal dryness, this confirmed what I was thinking. Ask your wife to make an appointment with her doctor and go along with her. Progesterone levels test is initially a simple saliva test where a swab of saliva is taken from her mouth. Later, if that comes back as being a bit low, the doctor will call her back in for blood tests. At least that is how it works in the UK. Your wife could also be having thyroid problems. Not as confident of that one as the lack of progesterone, but it is worth asking for a test just to rule it out. Funny old thing hormones. One point out on the scale and it throws us ladies off balance and all sorts of chain reactions happen in our bodies. Once the hormone problems have been ruled out, she may feel differently about her body and want to share it more. Dryness can be quite painful and is certainly uncomfortable. When I have had this in the past, I have not wanted my partner anywhere near my lower region either and I have actually been moaning quite fiercely about the lack of sex as well! So I can totally understand your wife's point of view from that part. Definately seek the advice and tests from a doctor. Then you can rule out the medical side and start to work on the emotional aspect or oral sex together. Princess 2005-11-28 10:00:06
166 850 Hi, Princess: Thanks for your reply. We've been through all that. She's had a few visits with her OB about the dryness, and he has prescribed medications to compensate for it AND recommended over-the-counter lubricants. I'm afraid this is much more attitude than physiology. 2005-11-28 10:05:38
168 856 My girlfriend and I for the first time engaged in oral sex.& I've done this before and she said she hasnt.& I figured considering it being her first time when i fingered her I would use only& one finger so I wouldnt discomfort her.& When i asked if it hurts she replied with "is it in?".& Well, i didnt think to much of it so i went a head and move to two fingers. Crazy enough i had to realy move them around for her to feel anything.& Should i be worried?& Is this common?& I havent asked her if shes masterbated before but could that be the case or could she lieing about her past sexual experiences. 2005-12-01 19:07:18
168 858 There aren't as many nerve endings inside the vagina so it is possible she might not be able to feel it very well if you only use one or two fingers. I'd feel it but I have vaginismus but it is only near the entrance that I could feel it, further back, it's like the vaginal wall is totally devoid of nerve endings, I don't really get any sensation at all there. Still, it all varies between women anyway. Some naturally have more sensation in there than others. I can feel it a little if I was to bend my fingers whilst inserted or maybe ask her to try and clench her pc muscles around your fingers whilst they are inserted and she may feel them inside then. I do these to help& my muscles relax& and it also helps with control and these muscle exercises are benefical for all women, just just those with my condition. She can find these muscles when she goes to the loo for a pee by just stopping the urine mid-flow and these are the muscles she needs to clench. She should only do that to find these muscles though because stopping uring mid-flow isn't really good for you but once or twice won't hurt. Clenching these muscles and then relaxing them whenever she remembers will help keep them exercised and toned and will help increase sensation for you both during ic in future and she can do these exercises anywhere because nobody else can see you doing them, lol. Also, because her vagina is not used to having anything inside and the brain not used to processing info from that area caused by penetration, it might take a little time to start feeling some sensation, for the brain to learn to start processing it so that the person may feel it or she just might remain as a woman who doesn't feel that much inside her vag. I doubt she is lying about her past sexual experiences. I genuinely think she just doesn't really feel much unless you move the fingers around a lot. Also, a woman who was used to having something inserted would know if it was. As she doesn't, it seems probable to me that she hasn't had fingers inserted before and so doesn't really know what it feels like hence her question about whether they were in. Good luck with the foreplay though. It is good you just stick to this at first before trying ic. It might also be a good idea to ask her if she does do DIY sex. If not, she should try it, lol. I do it and it's great. 2005-12-02 19:14:43
168 860 Thanks alot Cannis Lupess:),& I was really worried about it.& Do you have any suggestions on positioning on oral sex.& well, actually we tried to plz each other at the same time and that made it real uncomfortable.& we were in missionary style and i had to hold myself up to were i can have my hand down their while her giveing me a hand job and then kissing.& do you know any good tricks or tips? were both fairly new to all this and i want her to have a great experience considering that were most likely not soul mates.& but that doesnt mean that i dont love her and that i want her to enjoy herself.& i appreciate all& the info that you have given to me so far.& Thanks a bunch! 2005-12-02 19:34:59
168 861 Hi and Welcome With one or two fingers try reaching inside upwards behind the clitoris and circular movements around there. That should work at the same time as oral sex. Is it in? that is a terrible thing to say during a moment like that. Was you hurt by that or uncomfortable? If so you should talk to her about it and let her know that you have sought the advice of others. Princess 2005-12-03 05:25:14
168 862 Maybe she just said that because she thought he had not inserted it yet and maybe he was just putting the tip in or something and checking if she was ok with that& before he proceeded. I don't think she would have said that to hurt his feelings. I can sort of understand why she asked him that though. She probably expected to feel more herself maybe and was suprised that she felt very little even though the fingers were in. After all, lots of girls grow up believing that first insertions might or will hurt or are brought up to expect it to feel intensely good and should feel it. As for positions and all that. Well, I'm not much of an experienced person myself being as I tend to avoid any situation that might lead to ic because of my condition. I've had to learn a lot about myself and sexuality in order to help me conquer my vaginismus which is where most of the info I can give comes from. One thing you can do is just experiment. Ask your girlfriend if she has any ideas and try to think of some yourself and just try them out with each knowing it is just a trial run and that it might not be as perfect as theory suggested. You can still have fun doing it. Try laying on your sides facing each other so that neither has to hold themself up. You could even try laying with each other facing the others feet so that she can have her face near your bits and you have yours near hers and just sort of hold the leg not being laid on up and out of the way, sort of bent at the knee if you get me. Still, if a person is seeing stars because of the stimulation they are receiving and building up to orgasm, it might throw off their concentration and make them unable to keep up the stimulation in return so simultaneous stimulation might not happen so harmoniously as you might like to imagine but it is still worth indulging in, just don't be too disappointed if something like this was to happen. 2005-12-03 11:43:12
168 863 you guys are great!, (when i say guys i dont mean that literally), thanks a million for helping me through this.& if i have any more questions ill keep yall posted.& and maybe someday ill be able to give my input for someone else's issues. ;) 2005-12-03 19:22:25
168 870 My boyfriend and I have recently been starting to engage in oral sex also.& I'm in the same position as your g/f, I don't feel that much when only one finger is inserted.& So, nicely I ask him to put in another finger.& I have prepared myself on my own by masturbating, and it's highly possible your gf also masturbates.& Many women do but are too affraid to admit to it. 2005-12-05 19:21:18
169 864 I have a problem. I am 17 and my boyriend has tried to give me an orgasm a number of times and it doesn't work. Everytime he gives me head, my clit gets too ticklish to the point where I can't take it anymore and I have to tell him to stop...why is this happening? Is this normal? Any suggestions? 2005-12-04 11:35:37
169 865 Hi.. do you really want to have your clit licked and reach an orgasm? well I'll give you a suggestion that I gave to a young girl with the same dilemma(is no a problem). Go to any Walgreen store and buy over teh counter "Americane" it is an anesthetic cream very mild and before having your clit licked or touched rub it with an small amount, try at home before to know if is going towork for you and touch it yourself and see the difference... PS It works for the boys too when they come too fast, just a little around the penis head My email is in my profile in case you want to write 2005-12-04 12:12:44
169 928 [user=346]YellowSnow[/user] wrote: "I have a problem. I am 17 and my boyriend has tried to give me an orgasm a number of times and it doesn't work. Everytime he gives me head, my clit gets too ticklish to the point where I can't take it anymore and I have to tell him to stop...why is this happening? Is this normal? Any suggestions?" does he make direct contact with your clit? you can dull the sensation without use of drugs or creams by simply telling him not to make direct contact with your clit, and instead to make contact with the area surrounding your clit and through the clitoral hood. Having an extra layer of flesh between the source of contact and your clit should help. Also, he might be too forceful, so tell him to lighten up a bit. Also, if you can give yourself an orgasm, take some time to really learn what it is that you do that gets you off. When you understand what kind of contact is best for you, then you can tell him where to use his hands or mouth in ways that work for you instead of being overbearing. 2005-12-30 07:48:10
171 874 Hi All, For several years now I have had the desire to add 3D Anatomy illustrations and video to the website. This in an attempt help women to realize that their vulva is 3D, that is, not as flat as a piece of paper, 2D. It would also help them to visualize their anatomy under the skin. Things like, how does a six inch penis fit into a three inch vagina, that their vulva isn't suppose to be flat, where their G-Spot (female prostate gland) is exactly, etc. I finally had to accept I would never have the time to learn how to do this let alone do this myself. I have increasingly less free time. A couple weeks ago I contacted a 3D Illustrator and presented the project to him and he has agreed to take it on. The proposed first phase is to develop 3D illustrations of the clitoral erectile structures, the glans, body, and crura. We are currently researching to find better descriptions and illustrations for the female pelvic area, which isn't easy. The illustrator wants to be as accurate as possible, and 3D illustrations are hard to come by, even in medical literature. We are attempting to figure out what the reverse side of some organs and structures look like. I have registered a new website URL but the website doesn't actually exist yet, so I wont give out just yet. This could become a expensive project, hosting the website (bandwidth)& and paying for the illustrator. If there are visitors to The-Clitoris.com website that would like to help get this project off to a good start donations would be greatly appreciated. I have setup a Paypal.com account for the project.& The e-mail address you would need to enter into Paypal is Here is the link to PayPal.com [url=www.paypal.com] www.paypal.com You need to have a PayPal account in order to send money through them, which is free. You can also send contributions by mail to the following address: Anatomy Project & If anyone is interested, I can also setup our on-line store so you can contribute by credit card without a Paypal account. If you are interested in doing this please let me know. I can set that up pretty quickly. If anyone is concerned about the validity of this posting they can contact me at We hope to have the website started within the month, but that depends on how the research goes. The illustrator is investing money into medical references and possible new software to ensure we get good 3D illustrations. Some of the first illustrations may appear on The-Clitoris.com website, but because of cost concerns will be transfered to the new website soon after. The rate that illustrations are created and added and whether we will be able to have video clips available will depend on the funds available. If you are a business that would like to sponsor the project please feel free to contact me. The new website will be a medical reference, that is not a sex site. The new website will be free to the public, hence the request for donations. Thanks for your time and support. Brad 2005-12-08 13:52:19
171 1057 Hi All, It is taking longer than expected but we are making progress with the new website. Here are a couple samples of the preliminary images. They aren't done yet, and wll be more realisitic when done. Brad & 2006-01-15 13:03:24
171 1058 Second Image: & 2006-01-15 13:04:03
171 1059 No attachments Brad sorry& Luisa 2006-01-15 13:22:31
171 1060 You need to click on the blue links at the bottom of the posts. Brad 2006-01-15 14:28:07
171 1063 The problem with a 3D illustration is that it isnt really 3D. It may be made with a 3D rendering program, but the picture is still 2D. Video clips of pre-rendered material would be slightly better, but there are already live action sex help videos available where someone walks you through some particular sex act and the anatomy involved. And of course, scripting each invidual animation is tedious and requires a lot of render time (on top of the video encoding time) if you want a detailed image. The best (but probably the most expensive) idea would be to build a web application. Something real-time that you could turn and move in three dimensions and zoom in and out on. In addition to that, you could make certain parts become transparent/translucent or highlight certain organs so you can see their location as your rotate the model. If the model was detailed enough, you could even go so far as to portray the effects of different stages of arousal (such as the flushing and swelling, perhaps even the physical signs of orgasm), but actually interacting with and altering the model real-time is a huge step up in difficulty. Just tossing out some ideas. 2006-01-17 05:16:57
171 1064 Hi, These are stills from the flash presentations that will rotate 360 degrees. :) Brad 2006-01-17 10:45:07
171 1096 Hi All, After some delay the new website is up and running. It took some time but I believe it was worth the wait. What you see now is just the beginning. [url=www.3dvulva.com] www.3dvulva.com Please let me know what you think. Brad 2006-01-28 18:26:37
172 875 Hi All, I frequently receive e-mail from teens and women wanting to know if the area around their vaginal opening looks normal. Unfortunately, I don't have any clear photographs to show them of this area, and of the normal diversity of shape and size. Many have already looked through the photos on the website and did not see the area of concern. While this area is smooth in some women, others have lots of soft tissue, hymeneal tissue,& and skin tags, and the like in this area. This results in some anxiety in those who go looking expecting perfectly smooth, as in anatomy illustrations, tissue. Those with hidden vaginal openings are further perplex about where it is and where to insert fingers and tampons. If there are any ladies, 18 years of age or older, who would be willing to send clear digital photos of their vaginal opening, sthe pace between inner labia including urethra, to me I will add them to the website.& The photos should include the inner labia so we have a frame of reference. If you happen to have an intact hymen, to some degree, those photos would be greatly appreciated by site visitors to, as they are very rare. Please send high resolution photos and I will edit them to the correct image& and file size. Send them to Thanks,:D Brad 2005-12-08 14:10:18
173 876 HI i'm a 30 year old married woman with 3 kids. I have never had an orgasm. I keep thinking I'm nearly there but then... nothing. At some points the sensations are so strong they are too much to bear, so something is working, just not the end. This is really getting me down now. I know the anti-depressants i take affect this (i've been on them for almost 10 years with& no sign of being able to come off them) but i wondered is there anything else that can counteract them. i have tried vibrators but no luck. Was wondering about the ones that suck the clitoris? anybody think they would be good for me as the others haven't worked? My husband is aware of the problem and has really tried to help but we are both getting very frustrated...especially me!!! also wondering about viagra? any advice? joanne 2005-12-08 18:24:06
173 879 Hi, I can only suggest that you ask your doctor about trying a different type of antidepressant, as some increase sexual response rather than impair it. If a strong vibrator did not result in orgasm then orgasm probably isn't possible with your current medication. You might try mental stimulation combined with the vibrator, say watch a adult video that arouses you while you use the vibrator alone so there are no distractions. This has been a common question I receive and it is addressed in the Q&A section of the main website. Brad 2005-12-09 11:12:00
174 882 Do guys who not have sex for a awhile get more excited when they do and come faster, or is it better if they have been getting sex regularly? 2005-12-09 23:09:02
174 885 It seems that in most cases that I have been aware of, when the guy has gone without sex or any form of sexual "fun", they cum faster than usual..Though that is just from my experience. 2005-12-10 17:15:56
174 890 Hi, My experience is that my desire increases if I go without sex AND masturbation for any length of time. My attraction to a woman also seems to intensify if I have not spoke to her for a long time too. I find my orgasms are easier if I haven't ejaculated in a good length of time, but are less enjoyable.& While the amount ejaculated is greater, there may be little or no pleasure associated with the release, perhaps as a result of being over full? Brad 2005-12-11 18:20:22
174 898 Hi, From personal experience, yes! If he stays without sex and masturbation for a while then he's more excited and comes faster. As with missbeccajune, this is just from personal experience. I also think the masturbation is not enough for him, he will also be more excited about sex inspite of regular masturbation but that's just my opinion. Btw, I dont think this applies just to guys, also to women, at least for me it does :) 2005-12-13 06:38:05
174 1659 My experience when I was much younger confirms that I came very fast and frequently after a long period of time without sex.& When I came back from Korea after almost a year without sex or& the company of women, I found that I came very quickly.& During the first couple of dates, I recall getting a little upset because I thought I was going to have a problem with premature ejaculation.& Frankly I came& before I even got my pants off lol.& If my memory serves me right, it took several dates while I was waiting to get out of the Army before I could actually make love with a woman and not cum during the initial kissing and necking.& However,& about thirty years later, I had to travel extensively for work, and I would go to the Far East for three weeks, and when I got back home, my orgasms and ejaculations where no faster than after I was home a while.& My guess is that a man comes faster when younger, but not so after getting to be middle age or older.& Now, It takes me some time before I have an orgasm, and it doesn't make much difference whether I had sex the day before or a month before.& After I inject myself, my& erections& last for over an hour regardless.& My penis stays hard even after an orgasm.& However, I don't usually have multiple orgasms. 2006-05-19 14:56:14
175 883 Do any women here have labia minora which are tucked under and don't protrude? I mean, let's say a woman has her legs spread, are there any women here who you don't see the labia minora, clitoral hood& and vaginal opening, you just see the outer part of the majora and a slit? 2005-12-09 23:20:12
175 889 Hi, I have read that around two-thirds of women have some amount of projection so the remaining one-third would have a vulva like you describe. My guess is that women have a preference or expectation of having one like you describe. I received a e-mail from a plastic surgeon a couple days ago wanting my insight into women's desires for surgery on their vulva. Seems increasing numbers of women are seeking this type of surgery, likely as a result of articles in magazines. Brad 2005-12-11 18:16:40
175 892 Hi Brad, & & Where are pictures of a no-projected minora as you talk about? Perhaps, since many women don't know where the hood, glans, urethral opening, is, they usually have pictures of the labia itself& spread so one may see. But, I believe pictures NOT having labia spread would be better so people may see women who have outer majora and a slit showing only& when their legs are apart... Missi 2005-12-11 21:25:30
175 894 Hi, I recently added a large collection of photos of the vulva to the website. A few show the vulva at rest, but as viewed from straight rather than how a woman may see her vulva when standing in front a mirror. [url=www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/m_vulva.htm] www.the-clitoris.com/y/vulva/m_vulva.htm Brad 2005-12-12 12:01:07
175 895 Hi Brad, & I only found 2 examples (and maybe one more if was not spread) which would seem to be what I was talking about...vulva 81 in gallery 3 is kind of, and vulva 120 in gallery 4 definitely is...& but 2 out of 141 does not seem to be very common here! So many have projection.... Melissa 2005-12-12 14:45:22
175 896 Hi Brad and company... An example of precisely what I am talking about is an example here of a vulva shown (legs spread) and no projection at all. It is hidden ant tucked away neatly and one needs to explore to find it.... [url=www.very-koi.net/pix2/shave04.jpg] www.very-koi.net/pix2/shave04.jpg Do 1/3 of adult women have such a type????? Melissa 2005-12-12 15:21:27
176 884 Hi. I'm 17 years old and last night my boyfriend and I were fooling around. He started rubbing my clit, but he accidently rubbed it too hard. Even though he stopped, when I woke up this morning, I was in great pain down there, and I am still am. It seems to be swollen...Is it just irritated? Or do I need to worry about this? 2005-12-10 17:04:06
176 887 Hi I understand your concern , it is the first time? You don't need to worry I think it is only the friction and little lubrication, if is not bleeeding don't have to worry about infections since there is not broken skin. All the vulva is kind of elastic and resistant to certain point but it gets irritated by dry friction, get in the tub with warm water and a god perfumed oil, and relax. Have a nice holyday kises Luisa PS mye-mail is in the profile 2005-12-10 19:12:53
176 888 Its not bleeding but it is bright bright red and hurts like no tomorrow.... I am thinking just to give it time to heal back up properly? And do as you suggested with the bath. 2005-12-11 00:13:34
176 891 Hi, If you read through the Q&A section on the website that others have experience the same. It is the result of friction and guys using too much pressure and no lube. Girls almost always need additional lube for this activity, even if they are dripping wet. Guys tend to use more pressure and fiction when masturbating than women do, so they may not know how to stimulate a woman's vulva correctly. Women, and teens, need to provide positive feedback until they get it right. Don't allow them to abuse your delicate vulva. Your vulva isn't so delicate though when you consider a baby can pass through it, not a simple task. He may have released adhesions or a tight hood, which would leave you a bit tender. These are addressed in the Health section of the website. See the article on Hygiene in the Health section to see how to care for your vulva. For now, rinse with plain water, no soap,& and apply a triple antibiotic ointment to act as a lubricant and barrier to body fluids like urine. Wear loose airy cloths like& a dress or skirt and go without underwear if possible, or wear loose cotton ones or boxers. If the redness and pain increase time to see a doctor. You can blame it on tight pants. [url=www.the-clitoris.com] www.the-clitoris.com Brad 2005-12-11 18:30:44
178 899 I was wondering how do the other women here wash their vulvas and keep them clean? Also does anyone try alternative methods to get rid of annoying problems like yeast infections? :? I personally do not use any soap around the area, I wash it with water and then rinse in the end with a diluted vinegar solution (say 3-4 T vinegar and a little less than a liter water). Vinegar is acidic, and diluted, it is about the same PH as the skin so it doesn't irritate it like soap. Anyone would like to share tips? :) 2005-12-13 06:47:08
178 901 I don't use any kind of soap either on my vulva. I have never had a yeast infection (Thrush as we call it in the UK) I think some women are naturally more prone than others because my mother has never had one either. I just wash mine with clear water and I would never douche the vagina. I don't go over the top because I know the area keeps itself clean naturally. I also like to eat live yogurt and I'm sure this helps with that kind of thing too. Garlic is supposed to be good at keeping yeast infections away as well, especially fresh garlic. Other women in the vag group have noticed this. Other than that, trying to wear loose clothes as often as possible and loose cotton underwear or none at all so that fresh air can reach the area which also stops it from smelling. 2005-12-13 12:58:59
180 906 My girlfriend has never been able to orgasm.& She claims that she comes very close but can't quite achieve climax, she says that it "disappears."& We have tried many various forms of stimulation.& She has tried masturbating on many occasions and says the same feeling occurs but she can never experience an orgasm.& She uses her showerhead as a form of stimulation as well.& & As far as she and I can tell there are no psychological factors that could affect her such as insecurities or timid ness.& We have both been very open and have a very healthy relationship.& Thankfully this has had a very minimal impact on our relationship.& & I believe that the primary cause could be the medication she is taking.& Presently she is on Paxil as well as Levlite her oral contraceptive prescribed due to a hormonal imbalance.& In the beginning I believed the problem to be Paxil but she was off of it for a good 3 months still experiencing the same problem.& However, recently she was instructed to resume taking it.& Now I can only see the problem being her birth control pill, I have talked to her about contacting her doctor to see if it would be possible to change to another brand name although, I can't imagine this doing much.& Any comments or help are greatly appreciated! & Thanks! 2005-12-18 04:10:01
180 907 Birthcontrol and antidepressents are known to 'sometimes' lower libido and could impede orgasms.. antidepressents more so than birthcontrol but that's as far as i know I can tell u though that I experienced my first orgasm while on the pill (around 6 months into it) so there is hope. You should also check if 3 months are enough for the antidepressent effect to go away, seems to me like little time. Still, from what u're describing, she's getting close to orgasm, and masturbates so looks like the 'desire' part is fine. I hated the expression 'just let go' when i was after my first orgasm bec u dont really understand it if u never had an orgasm before. Even after the first one, I hard a really hard time at first getting to orgasm. It was basically just what u described, getting close and then it stops, i try and try till i get tired. sometimes it works and sometimes i want to punch the wall. See if she's tensing her vaginal area without noticing. Very likely she tenses up because she's nervous if she's gonna have an orgasm or not. When she gets really close, she can try breathing in deeply and focusing on relaxing, in particular relaxing the muscles around the vagina. Once I taught myself to relax my vaginal area (I literally almost talk to myself) the sensation increases immediately and orgasm is easier. With time, it is getting easier. Something else that could work: try to find something that really turns her on. Personal sex videos do that for me. Watching them I come after 5 minutes (once twice in 10 minutes), normally I would take half an hour or so! And I have to mention this over-stated fact: the more she thinks about the orgasm, the less likely she is to have one. My suggestion to get around this, forget about it, and try to compare (by giving marks over 10 for example) how intense she's feeling RIGHT NOW. Can she get it a bit more intense? then a little bit more? and so on. Maybe that well help her focus on NOW instead of LATER (=orgasm) Hope some of these suggestions help. PS. I learned to orgasm with a vibrator. It took the exauhsting hand-work out of it. After two months with the vibrator, I tried with my hand and it worked once I knew what I am after. 2005-12-19 05:40:57
182 915 At what age did youall lose your virginity? 2005-12-20 21:50:20
182 916 Hi It all depends in your definition of virginity, as you know there is no physical definition of virginity; some of us don't have a hymen at all, some have just a little around the vaginal opening, others have a very elastic hymen that don't even tears after intercourse and it is difficult to prove that women have a hymen. I just agree with a psychologist definiton of virginity: a virgen is a man or woman that never had any kind of touch, caress or kissing of a sexual nature, for example if a girl at the age o14 get kissed and touched and get aroused she loses her virginity even if she has a hymen or in the same token if a man had an ercetion with girl he is not virgin anymore. Of course it is my opinion& Luisa 2005-12-21 12:00:25
182 925 To some people I still may be considered a virgin.& Even though I have engaged in mutual masturbating, and also oral sex.& Depends on how you look at it.& & I do plan on losing my& sexual intercourse& virginity soon with my boyfriend. 2005-12-29 19:58:09
182 926 Hi lady ...are there any feelings imvolved? or just to know how it feels to have intercourse... Just curious...there is no problem either way The best of luck tp you and happy new year Kisses Luisa 2005-12-29 20:04:07
182 930 I haven't yet lost mine according to the typical definition, nor am I in any rush to do so. I used to agonize over it, but over the last few years my outlook on sex has changed drasitcally as my friends have started to get married and deal with the consequences of sexual relationships. by some of the broader definitions, though, I would probably have to say 18 or 19, though I don't remember exactly when. 2005-12-30 08:17:40
182 932 I'm yet to lose mine if you look at it from the usual view of a virgin point of view. ie, not had intercourse. Thats because I have vaginismus which stops me from doing that at the moment until I get it cured. I'm 26 but there are women in the vag groups I visit who are in their 40s and still virgins as a result of this damned condition. I have engaged in other forms of sex, just not penetration other than having one finger inserted. That was when I was 22. 2005-12-30 09:11:10
182 943 At 23, late by western standards but I had quite some sexual experience before it though. I was terrified of getting pregnant and my family finding out so I avoided intercourse back then. It was painful and required literally weeks of stretching and excercises that my bf duly did (and apparently enjoyed :)) I still close up though after a period of no sex (10 days or more) and then it hurts again... even though I masturbate and do Kegel exercise often. I don't know if that's normal :S 2006-01-03 13:09:58
182 946 I've heard about problems with pain from quite a few women who are still able to have IC. With me, I clamp up too much for the penis to even get it's tip in and if the owner of that penis was to try and push it in, I would feel like I was being torn apart and could be caused a physical injury. Vaginismus comes in all different severities and can be situational, no problem with having pelvic exams but cannot have& IC or the other way around, can have IC but not pelvic exams. It is a possibility and everytime you experience pain with IC, it reinforces the condition and makes it worse. Worth getting check out anyway. 2006-01-04 12:03:18
182 948 I suspected something like that when I read your description about vaginismus in another post. I could relate to it; however, once I am having IC regularly the pain is gone and I actually enjoy it. I will though ask my gyn this month about this. Thanks for the info :) 2006-01-04 14:47:54
182 951 Let us know what your gyn says. It could be something completely different. You don't know whether you might have a stubborn bit of& hymen or anything as women occasionally can? Still, even if it is something different, the pain it causes could cause secondary vag so you need to find out what it is and get it sorted. 2006-01-04 15:36:58
182 953 [user=19]luisa1[/user] wrote: "Hi lady ...are there any feelings imvolved? or just to know how it feels to have intercourse... Just curious...there is no problem either way The best of luck tp you and happy new year Kisses Luisa " & Oh definitely. :) There's a lot of feelings involved in our relationship. :) I'm happy to say I lost my virginity on the 3rd. I used protection.& Only problem... one of the condoms we used made me numb (the extended pleasure kind), and I'm guessing that's why because it's extended pleasure.& Left me dissapointed and frustrated.& My boyfriend felt bad and asked if I was okay since I didn't orgasm.& He was getting tired from trying so I gave it a go and tried to relieve myself and I couldn't feel a thing. 2006-01-04 20:39:59
182 958 Lady thanks for the message..you did it right and you enjoyed it to the fullest; I asked because most of us do it just to be "in" by losing the virginity and it is the worst motive to do it, we end up with a lot of sex realted problems. I don't think at yoru age you need "extended" anyhting, maybe later on you will but now enjoy your youth and sex . Good luck kisses Luisa 2006-01-05 20:05:25
182 962 Hi everyone, im from england and the legal age to have sex here is 16, i waited until 3 months ago nearly now to have sex aged 18, and i am still with the partner, and love her dearly, id prefer to only have one sexual partner in my life so really i want this relationship to work, and so far it is working great, we both care about each other loads and as a result we're both happy. relationships are fine as long as youre willing to give and the reciever isnt greedy 2006-01-05 20:23:55
182 978 [user=19]luisa1[/user] wrote: "Lady thanks for the message..you did it right and you enjoyed it to the fullest; I asked because most of us do it just to be "in" by losing the virginity and it is the worst motive to do it, we end up with a lot of sex realted problems. I don't think at yoru age you need "extended" anyhting, maybe later on you will but now enjoy your youth and sex . Good luck kisses Luisa " & Thanks Luisa. :)& I can't agree with you more... many people do have sex to be in.& My boyfriend and I have talked about sex a lot, and his& concern was mostly about me being ready to engage in it (emotionally), and also about me losing my virginity. He would always tell me that it's definitely a big thing, and that he really wanted me to be sure that I wanted to lose my virginity with him. I definitely know now not to use the extended pleasure, I seem to like the twisted pleasure.& 2006-01-06 08:32:22
182 993 [user=116]Ladybug[/user] wrote: "My boyfriend felt bad and asked if I was okay since I didn't orgasm. He was getting tired from trying so I gave it a go and tried to relieve myself and I couldn't feel a thing. " I can only orgasm from hand stimulation or oral sex but in the situation you described above, it is almost impossible to orgasm :? I've been there and once I am aware he's feeling tired and bad about it, I start worrying about the orgasm and forget about the pleasure... sort of a trap situation. I usually try to 'forget' about it for a while and try later when I am more relaxed and less anxious about coming. PS. The sex gets better with time. I found out, especially after I started hand stimulation with intercourse, that I feel way more from intercourse alone, as if my vagina learnes to be 'touched'. Good luck! 2006-01-07 05:15:24
182 995 Do oyu know that only 26% of us reach vaginal orgasms? and about 55% clitoral orgasm?. Somebody said and I htink it is wise, that we don't need to focus in the orgasm but in the sex itself... Good luck Luisa 2006-01-07 15:12:46
182 1099 :) I'm happy to say, I had my first orgasm while having intercourse on Saturday. I had left for school on the 15th, and the whole time while& I was away from my boyfriend, I missed him.& Once I came home on Friday, kissing him was like kissing him for the first time.& I made love to him at his house, and then on Saturday, my family had gone out and before we were going to go out, we decided to get some one on one action in.& It was the best. :)& I remember talking to him about how at first we're both trying to get used to each other's bodies, and it'll get better as time goes on.& And I can say I definitely see an improvement. 2006-01-30 00:10:09
182 1161 it was just a month shy of my 21 birthday 2006-02-13 00:07:12
184 919 i have a lot of ideas and such, however they do not link together correctly in my mind to form sentances... a.k.a. scatter brained. try to keep an open mind >.> im posting here mainly to raise my own awareness of what things are, but mainly im doing this to help others as well. i have a few questions about what things are, and im looking for related experiances and helpfull information that i can also pass along to people i chat to. first of all, im male, and age 24. i use a lot of effort to learn and help develop others abiltiies to learn. the question i have is mainly towrds anatomy i belive is labled and explored and such in the way im thinking of. and it's what is the area called that's around the uterus opening, where the vagina tract ends. it can be very sensitive at that point, and im try to get others aware that they can use this spot to masterbate with. as mentioned above, im looking for people who had exepriance with that area...mainly looking for 'becareful of, watch out for..' etc, so i can also pass along safety information too since i still consider this new to me. anyway, about 2 out of 7 or 8 of my friends even know the area up there exsists ( as in it's sensitive and is usefull towrds mastebration/etc ) i've been searching google and this forum's serach engine also...but no luck towrds this subject. i coudln't even find a cute term in the anatomy photo's. also didn't find much about the g-spot ether or it's cinical term "Grafenberg" so..meh.. long ago someone told me it's called the epi spot. i forget it's clinical term towrds 'epi' , it sounded something similar to epi-gla-dis... which may not even be a known word, but that's just the phonetics of it im trying to invoke. i go around amounst my friends seeking out those willing to learn more about themselfs, and im some what the core of the information passing between everyone just liek this forum is to all to read it. but i don't have termanology that everyone can agree on towrds what's what.. lol (refering to the area deep inside that seems to be so unknown amoung my friends) this upper area is capible of sending one into climax/orgasm, and seems to be 10x better than anything near the outside of there body. i would imagine it would differ between everyone anyway though. same with sensitivity and pain/pleasure .. this is starting to go into what i know already towrds precautions >.> im aware that those who are comfortable with there body and have exploded most anything they could, would have experiance of what went on ( even if they didn't have the termanology for it to express it clearly to others ) and those that do not 'explore' much wont know wha tim talking about because they don't have the exepraince and just the termanology.. so.. as i said..keep an open mind >.> anyway...those that i know of that has actually unfearfully put anything in that deep have all reported a pleasureable exepraince, and those that are affird they will lose something or other inside report a rather high amount of discomfort. so be aware you're mental state of mind will affect your physical state of being. after reading a lot of the posts out here all over the forum, a good portion is already aware of that ^.^ im not sure what else i could put on here, i have lot of information as to what goes on inside durring states of being, but that should be able to be found probrably in some informational section in the male catagory in the main forum index... if such an informational thign exsits there.. since women inherently get the exepraince of what goes on inside, no need to explain what they already know...other than if they haven't done it yet...but i belive that cna be found elsewhere... so... does anybody have a cute name for such an area up top ? u-spot? epi-spot ? anybody know if a term exsists for up there that is actually on the same level as "g-spot" without making one up as you're reading this? even if most people are unaware of it ? 2005-12-23 17:58:27
185 920 This is a contribution I made to the now-defunct allaboutsex.org, a Web site primarily for teens. Despite the title this is suitable for all ages. Enjoy! --- First, let me admit, yes, I'm a guy. So I hope some of you girls out there will correct, update, amend, and fill in whatever I may have missed or gotten wrong. The Mons Veneris, "Mound of Venus," the center of a girl's body, the center of the Universe, really, since it's where we all got our start. It's a beautiful place to visit and explore! Let's start at the top, at the clitoris. A firm, smooth "nub" of flesh, surrounded by a softer "hood," the clitoris is exquisitely sensitive, so sensitive that prolonged direct stimulation may be unpleasant. It is one of the two main sources of orgasm in a girl. The clitoris, like the rest of the vulva, should always be petted with lubrication, applied by hand or tongue. You can also stimulate the clitoris by massaging or pulling on the labia - gentle tugging or pulling will stretch enough to give quite a bit of pleasure. Stroke with your fingers firmly up past one side of the clitoris, down the other side, not quite touching it directly, but pulling enough as you glide by. Your girl will appreciate variety and creativity in your touch - always remember that any one touch that feels great will turn annoying if repeated too many times in a row. The clitoris responds better to direct stimulation by tongue than by hand. And of course, if you are lying on top of your sweetheart or have your penis in her, the pressure of your body on her vulva goes right where it should (which is why the clitoris sits on top). But probably you haven't really started here. Most girls appreciate some "warm up" time spent on the labia first. These are the two sets of "lips" to either side of the vagina, the outer or labia majora, and the delicate inner or labia minora. Start gentle petting or licking on her labia, remembering to use the most gentle possible touch until you feel her become wet and ready for a firmer massage. Lubrication is essential! She may or may not provide enough to be comfortable, so if you don't feel her wetness, offer either your tongue or another lubricant (KY jelly or something made for sex). The outer labia are sort of a transition between the rest of her body and her most sexual areas. They form excellent padding to bear the weight of another body during intercourse. They are covered with hair, which acts as a dry lubricant to protect against friction. Most people, I think, enjoy the vulva more if some or all of the hair on the labia is removed, either trimmed short, or shaved or waxed. As a special treat some time you may want to offer to trim your girl's "fur." As you work, you will be rewarded with a delightful view of her labia, and can watch as drops of "dew" collect at the entrance to her vagina. The outer labia can be massaged either by pushing with the palm of your hand, or tugging one or the other between your thumb and other fingers. As you progress in your erotic massage, and as she becomes more aroused, increase the pressure or the pull. Use two hands to pull her labia to both sides, opening her wide. The inner labia are very different - far more sensitive to touch, giving almost as much pleasure as the clitoris. They can be stroked up or down, or pulled out one at a time between thumb and forefinger. A special treat during oral sex is to suck one flap into your mouth and gently tug and massage at the same time. There is a sort of a groove between the inner and outer labia, a nice place to run your fingers up and down. I can't say this often enough: be creative and use variety in your touch. Three or four repetitions of any stroke is just right, then change something - a different side, a new direction, two fingers instead of one. The inner labia taper at the bottom and are rooted at the entrance to the vagina. Push a finger against the opening and move it in circles - you will feel both the greatest possible softness, and under that, some very powerful muscles. A good firm massage at her vagina will be appreciated. You can spend as much time as you want pushing a finger farther and farther in. Take your time, don't just plunge in right away (well, OK, plunge in!) - as you push in deeper, also push out against the sides of her vagina, massaging along its entire length. Use both hands to give a good stretching massage; it's very erotic to be "opened up," as long as it's done with love. As you go deeper into her vagina, you will find the inner counterpart to her clitoris, the internal source of orgasm, or what is popularly called the "G spot." This is not so much a spot as a region. Don't worry about finding it: with your finger inserted all the way, press with your fingertip and you will be there. Move your finger or fingers in circles, pressing up to the top of her body and also side to side, and you will have her well on the way to orgasm. To go all the way to orgasm, or orgasms (damn! I'm jealous), use one hand inside her and the other on the outside, massaging her vulva. She may want you to concentrate directly on her clitoris or she may prefer firm pressure with the palm of your hand going in circles, massaging her entire vulva (and pulling on her clitoris). Experiment! Discover! It is also possible to push your tongue inside her. You will not reach nearly as far as with your fingers, but you may be surprised at how deep you can get if you really stretch out. When the time comes, you will discover enormous reserves of strength in your tongue muscles! As always, use variety: push in, then take her left labia into your mouth, then the right, then lick circles around her clitoris while you push your thumb into her vagina. Where are you all this time? Next to her? Over her? Is she on her stomach with her legs spread wide? One delightful source of variety is to approach from different directions. Not only does this allow you to user your hands in different ways, but it puts the two of you in contact. The feel of your body against her is an essential part of love-making. One of my favorite positions is to lie next to my girl, on her right if you are right-handed, left if left-handed. Use one hand on top, and place your other hand under her buttocks, with your finger reaching up to her vulva. This allows you to massage and also to penetrate with finger from both hands at once. You can give a great deal of delight by pulling up on her labia with one hand and down with the other, or firmly massaging the opening to her vagina with both hands. Her vagina is not the end of our journey! Below the entrance to the vagina is her perineum, a very soft and sensitive region that is worth petting. Just a little further and you will reach her anus. This is one of the most sensitive parts of the body, with as many nerve endings as the lips. While almost all guys enjoy anal stimulation, not all women do, so be sure to ask. If she enjoys it, massage her anus with your fingers or tongue. She may enjoy having you put one finger in her vagina and one in her anus. It is also possible to reach both at the same time: with a finger pushed as deeply as possible into her vagina, the finger next to it can touch her anus. The contrast between these two powerful entrances to her body can be very exciting for both of you. I've talked about using your hands and mouth to give her pleasure, but of course, if you are a guy (or a very creative girl), there is also your penis. This is a whole topic in itself, but just a few reminders. It is very delightful to massage along the length of her labia with the head, or glans, or your penis - this should send both of you through the roof! Remember that even if you are not planning to "go all the way" that this type of play carries all the same possibilities for pregnancy or STDs as "real" intercourse, so know what you are doing! There is much more to a girl's body than her vulva, vagina, and anus. Some girls say they can orgasm by having their nipples stimulated (I can only imagine!). And really, she wants to be made love to from top to toe. Enjoy, take your time, try something new, and love her to pieces. 2005-12-24 06:52:22
188 924 Wild, Female and Overflowing The source of female sexuality - Female Ejaculation & the G-spot with Deborah Sundahl and Devaka Hoffmann This workshop is designed for all women, who want to explore their sexuality and invite more openness into it. You are interested in: · What female ejaculation is · What the role of the G-spot is · How can you find your G-spot and massage and stimulate it back to its natual state of highest sensitivity · Understanding what a G-spot orgasm is · How the g-spot is the gate way to deeper sexual fullfillment and personal healing In this women`s circle, we explore our freedom and our borders around our sexuality and get to know our often hidden gate way to our deep, feminine source. In exploring our G-Spot, we encounter deep feelings and emotions. Through this our body meets our soul. We explore the power and wisdom of our bodily sensations and how to trust and surrender to them. A new way of living our female sexual potencial then opens. In this workshop amoung women, we use the tools of meditation, relaxation, dance, bodywork, massage and personal sharing to mine this special and uniquely feminine source of our sexuality - the G-spot: how it works and what it can do for us in our erotic life and in our fulfillment in life in general. Deborah will share her profound experience with this often hidden access to our female sexuality. Devaka, in her narural way of being sexual, will accompany us and show us how to be alive and present with all whom we meet as partner on our erotic journey, to open our trust and acknowledge consciously our fear, to honor the Wild One and the Shy One in ourselves, and acquaint ourself with our ectasy and our numbness. Together with their 30 years experience in female sexuality, Deborah and Devaka are adept at guiding women this life changing adventure. You will find them, open, accessible, frank and safe. Learn how to get your divine birthright, your female erotic source, flowing again! The workshop will be held in English and German with translation. Teachers: Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, has 18 years of pioneering experience in female ejaculation, and has coached hundreds of women to let their wild woman gush. Her 'Female Ejaculation Sex Education Series' includes her book and three DVD's. [url=www.deborahsundahl.com] www.deborahsundahl.com Devaka Regine Hoffmann, lives in Freiburg, Germany, working as a "Heilpraktiker" with psychotherapy, bodywork and Tantra. She`s a licenced art-of-being® - Teacher. She works primarily with women and has designed a special one-year tantra Training for women to heal, honor and expand sexuality with body, heart and soul. [url=www.sinnliche-wege.de] www.sinnliche-wege.de Dates and fee: We 24. may. - Su 28. may.2006, We 20.00 h - Su 13.00 h , 350,--EUR 325,--EUR until 23.03.2006 295,--EUR until 23.01.2006 We will be in a Seminarhouse near Freiburg/Germany (about one hour drive near Basel-Switzerland). Please ask for prices for food and accomodation. For further information and booking please contakt Devaka: Devaka Regine Hoffmann, Baslerstr. 24, D-79227 Schallstadt, Germany, Fon: oo49-(0)761-13 79 79 66 Fax:oo49-(0)7664-96 24 02, 2005-12-24 14:56:22
189 934 Hi, The-Clitoris.com website is in the process of moving to& a new server. If you should have trouble accessing it over the next couple of days please use the following temporary URL. Brad 2005-12-30 17:28:29