The Secret to Great Sex- Is Knowing There is No Secret
I am sorry if I disappoint you, but there is no single sexual philosophy or technique that will result in great sex and powerful orgasms for every woman, or even the majority of women. I realize this is contrary to what many claim and others believe. The reason being, no two women are exactly alike in their sexual needs and desires. Every woman is unique unto herself, physically and mentally. Each woman must discover for herself what is appropriate and best for her. No one can predict with any degree of accuracy what will sexually satisfy a woman. To claim you can is misleading and harmful to women. For a woman to believe that such a secret exists unknowingly limits her sexual potential and greatly impedes her efforts to discover sexual happiness.
Describing Female Sexuality Should Not Serve to Define It
Unfortunately, in the process of describing female sexuality you can inadvertently define it. An incomplete description of female sexuality often results in a narrow definition of female sexuality. If a person asks ten women to describe their sexuality and publishes these descriptions in a book, those who read it will often assume these ten women have defined female sexuality in its entirety. If the possibility of other forms of female sexuality existed, additional women would have been included, or so the reader may believe. This can have an extremely detrimental affect on the female reader who does not see herself described within those pages. She may feel there is something wrong with her that she must change. If her partner expects her to be like these ten women, they too may assume something is wrong with her. It is not the woman who must change, but rather the book, it needs to be expanded to include her unique definition of sexuality.
An Incomplete View
Books and magazines that are reported to contain the secrets to great sex often have a very narrow view of what women want and enjoy. This is because the authors of these books and articles have been exposed to a very limited number of women and their sexuality. Given the number of women on this planet, and all the different cultures and situations, a sampling of one thousand women is minuscule. What is true of women in one area of the world may not be true in another. These books and magazines are not incorrect, only incomplete. They each apply to only a small percentage of women, combined they still do not apply to all women.
Expanding Your Horizons
Book and magazine articles that address female sexuality should not be used for a purpose other than the gathering of ideas. If you want to try something new, or have not found something that works, they give you some new ideas to try. You should never consider them the Holy Grail of sex, and define your sexuality based on their content. If you try what they recommend and it does not work, or you do not enjoy it, then move onto something else. Never judge yourself or your partner based on the contents of these books and magazines; each woman must write her own book.
Accepting Diversity
One thing I try to make clear in my writings on this website is the diversity of women. I do not profess to know the secrets to great sex for every woman. What I attempt to do is educate readers about the varying needs and wants of women, and the possible causes for this diversity. I try to provide ideas and basic concepts without defining a woman's sexuality; at least I hope I have done so. As such, the contents of this website should never be used to define female sexuality. It is just a small collection of information that will hopefully allow men and women to experience greater sexual happiness, whatever that may entail.
A relevant article on this subject is Orgasm: Did She?
