Question: I was hoping you could answer my question as I'm beginning to worry about my clitoris. Is it possible to damage your clitoris? Recently, (for the past three months or so) it has gotten much harder to orgasm. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about a year now and have learned a lot about ourselves and what we like to do, but I feel like it takes much longer for me to come recently. Sometimes it's too sensitive, and sometimes it just won't respond at all. I thought maybe it was just something my boyfriend was doing, but I tried masturbating - seeing as I never had a problem orgasming when I masturbated, but I can't seem to get much of a reaction from my clitoris either. It's become very frustrating. Do you have any insight into what might be wrong? My boyfriend and I have always been very gentle with each other, but is it possible that I have caused some sort of damage and I'll never be as sensitive as before? Thanks for your help.

Answer: My first guess is that there is a lack of sexual arousal. When not aroused, your clitoris can feel numb or too sensitive. You may be going through the motions but your body is not ready or willing.

The next thing to consider is whether there has been a change in your level of sexual desire. If you are not experiencing sexual desire, it is much harder to become aroused, or be in the mood for sex. The hormone testosterone affects your level of desire and sensitivity to sexual stimulation.

Stress and relationship problems could affect both your ability to become aroused and level of desire. Stress from work and school can impair your sexual function, and long hours can leave you chronically tired or fatigued.

Please see the section about Desire, and in there there is a link to a page about Sexual Dissatisfaction that you should read too. Many of the biological and environmental factors that influence a woman's ability to experience orgasm are addressed on the page Information for Pre-orgasmic Women.

If you still have questions please feel free to write again.


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