Question: I'm female and almost 15. I masturbate regularly and have never had an orgasm. My problem is that I want to start having sexual experiences with another person. I've never had a boyfriend, been kissed, or asked out. I don't want to have intercourse yet, but I really want to make out with someone. I'm sick of sitting at home alone with my hand down my knickers. I don't want to ask a boy out because boys don't like me. If they did, I would have gotten some attention from then by now. I have friends who are boys, and I've been told I'm really pretty. What do I do? I NEED someone.

Answer: If you have not learned to masturbate to orgasm it is much less likely a boy will be able to stimulate you to orgasm. To begin with, they usually do not know how to give girls sexual pleasure, and what they know is often incorrect. If you enter into a relationship with only sex in mind, I believe you will find things do not live up to your expectations. You will likely be used for their pleasure, especially if you do not know what you want and need. Please see the pages on Virginity in the Intercourse section for information about sexual development. To be honest, you are better off home learning to masturbate than becoming sexually active with a boy. Doing so is certainly less likely to result in emotional pain, pregnancy, and sexually transmitted diseases. There is a lot of information on the website that will assist you in learning to masturbate to orgasm.

Your intense desire for sex is normal and indicates you have an active sex drive. Please see the page about Sexual Desire to learn more about this topic. Masturbation and fantasy are both positive ways of addressing your sexual desire until such time as you have a suitable partner to explore sex with.