Question: My question is: Is there any relation between virginity of a girl and color of nipples? Like if the nipples color is black then should it be assumed that she is not a virgin?

Answer: No, the color of the nipples does not indicate a woman's sexual status. They can be anything from pale pink to black in color. Heredity and skin complexion would be contributing factors in their color. They usually darken during pregnancy, but if you don't know their original color you wont know if they have been pregnant simply because they have dark nipples.

 

Question: I'm a straight girl yet I get aroused by gay [male on male] porn. I suppose I relate to it in some voyeuristic way. But at the same time lesbian sex either doesn't arouse me at all or it barely does.

Answer: I know other women experience the same, even some lesbians. It is comparable to guys being sexually aroused by seeing two girls having sex. You get to see a lot more naked male flesh in gay porn. The taboo nature of gay porn perhaps makes it very arousing for you. In main steam movies you may see two girls having sex but not two guys, especially engaging in sexual activities like fellatio. I wouldn't worry about, just enjoy the arousal and pleasure it brings.

You may not like girl/girl or lesbian porn as much if you don't find the female body as attractive, or you are uncomfortable with some aspect of the idea of lesbian or girl/girl sex. I know for some women the idea of performing oral sex on another woman is a major turnoff, which I believe reflects feelings about their own genitals.

 

Question: First off I want to say that I love your site! It is very informative! My question concerns vaginal discharge. I get this every month which I know is normal but, I am very self conscious about it. I feel that I have more discharge than most women (my doctor commented on the large amount of discharge during my pap but, acted like it was normal). I always wear unscented panty liners but, I want to be able to just wear panties and no panty liner! I am just afraid that it will result in a sticky mess. What do you think I should do?

Answer: I am very happy to hear you enjoy the website.

On the page about hygiene I mention that during ovulation, when the amount of fluid is greatest, the amount of fluid exiting the vagina is about 1 1/4 teaspoons during a 24 hour period. This is an average amount so you may experience more or less. See the pages linked to below to learn about cervical mucous and its different types.

http://www.woomb.org/bom/cervix/

http://www.woomb.org/bom/cervix/cervixImages.html

The following page has photos of cervical mucous.

http://www.nfpsoftware.com/mucus.html

More information on cervical mucous:

http://www.fertilinet.com/Cervical%20Fluid%20and%20Fertility.htm

http://www.sisterzeus.com/cervob.htm

http://www.fertilityuk.org/nfps401.html

http://www.fertilityuk.org/nfps407.html

The use of panty liners is not recommended because it prevents air from getting to your vulva. While the pad may absorb moisture that comes in contact with it it also prevents evaporation. If the pad has a plastic liner it basically acts as a seal trapping the fluid your body is trying to expel, protecting your cloths but is not beneficial for your vulva. Instead of spending money on the panty liners you might simply buy new underwear more frequently, if they become stained.

Others have written to ask about the increased wetness they experience during different phases of their menstrual cycle so you are not alone. The slippery wet feeling is uncomfortable for them, understandably.

Wear loose fitting airy clothing like skirts and dresses, especially when the fluid is at its greatest, to allow the excess moisture to evaporate away. Some women have reported they feel dryer when they shave. Trim short or shave the pubic hair on your outer labia to prevent the mucous from getting trapped in it. Going without underwear may allow for faster evaporation of the fluids, as it isn't trapped in the fabric, but some of the fluid may travel down your thighs or come in contact with your clothing, which is beneficial for your vulva but may cause you to worry about it becoming visible to others. Take note of the fact that women have historically not worn form fitting undergarments, their vulva was not in direct contact with clothing, as mentioned on the page about hygiene. If you wear underwear, and likely will, wear only those made of 100% cotton, not just with a cotton panel. If they become moist and uncomfortable then carry a spare pair with you. Many thongs or G Strings are small enough that they will fit discretely in your purse or pocket. At night, and possibly when at home, go bare bottomed.

If you are taking any prescription medication or birth control it may influence your hormonal levels, causing an increase in mucous production.

I am not aware of anyway to reduce the amount of fluid that wouldn't potentially have adverse side affects.

Here is the link to the page about hygiene:

hygiene.htm

Here is information on shaving of the pubic hair:

shaving.htm

 

Question: Is it illegal for an 17 year old and a 24 year old to have a sexual relationship in Canada?

Answer: I cannot comment on the legality of this subject.

In general, I would question why a twenty-four year old would be having sex with a seventeen-year-old, as there is a big difference in perspectives on life based on life experiences. A seventeen year old is just starting to form their own identity beyond their parents and doesn't need pressure from a slightly older adult concerning who she is and what she does; she gets enough of that from her peers.

I would suspect the seventeen-year-old is being taken advantage of. Teenage girls are often attracted to older persons, which makes them easy targets of older men who want nothing more than to have sex with young women, it is an ego trip for them. The twenty-four year old's freedom, money, career, and car would likely blind the teen to the reality of the situation. A teenaged girl is likely more easily lied to and fooled than a young women who has more life experiences under her belt. A teen girl who feels she is too mature to be dating boys her own age is actually demonstrating her immaturity.

While one would hope the twenty-four year old would know more about sex than a seventeen-year-old this is probably not the case. They may have more experience but not necessarily more knowledge. This is especially true if they are dating someone much younger, as otherwise they would be desired by and dating someone nearer their own age. One test of the twenty-four year old's motives would be for the seventeen-year-old to say no to sex, as once twenty-four year old realized they wouldn't being having sex they would go elsewhere, unless their motives were other than sexual. Another test is to insist that the older person meet the girl's parents. If the parents chase him off with a shot gun or the police that likely means the relationship is suspect.

All things considered, a seventeen-year-old probably shouldn't be having sex, at least intercourse. You may want to read the pages about virginity linked to below to learn more about this.

virgin1.htm

 

Question: My girlfriend had sex for the first time a year ago with her boyfriend at the time (not me). She used to get orgasms from masturbation of both her clit and vaginal opening. After she had sex that time, she lost most of the feeling in her vagina and her clit. Now only after only rubbing against a pillow can she get an orgasm and I've tried fingering and clit massaging and it will last for maybe a couple seconds and then disappear. How can she get the feeling back in her clit and vagina to have orgasms again? We haven't had sex yet because we want her to have orgasms again before we engage in that. Can you please give us some advice?

Answer: I am not aware that vaginal penetration would cause injury to the nerves of the clitoris and vulva. These areas are fed by different nerve bundles. The location of the nerves for the clitoris are shown in the illustrations linked to below:

anat_e.htm

I would suspect a psychological cause more than a physical one. A woman's awareness and experience of sexual arousal and pleasure is greatly dependent on her mental state at the time; this is mentioned on the page about sexual arousal linked to below. Perhaps she feels guilty about this past experience, or it was a negative experience, perhaps even rape. Talk to her about her feelings about this past relationship and how it makes her feel about your current relationship. She may also not be ready to have intercourse again and is holding back. It may be harmful if she believes her orgasms will result in or require her to have intercourse, if she really doesn't want to or isn't ready. It is also possible her prior orgasms were faked and she is simply being honest now. Other women can only experience orgasm by rubbing their vulva against objects, so she is not alone.

orgasm.htm

One other possibility is that she started taking prescription birth control a year ago in preparation for intercourse but it has adversely affected her sexual desire and sensitivity since then. Some forms of birth control have this negative affect. If this could be the case, either have her stop taking the birth control or discuss using another formulation with her doctor. If she stops using the prescription birth control she may not want to risk pregnancy so intercourse will be out of the question, but at least her pleasure would return. If she uses birth control to regulate her menstrual cycle she should discuss this with her doctor prior to discontinuing its use.

The strength of her orgasms and her body awareness will increase if she learns and does Kegel exercises. See the information linked to below. Perhaps her pelvic muscles are either relaxed or in spasm now as a result of engaging in intercourse.

virgin2.htm#kegels

In the short term, I would encourage her to masturbate to orgasm, as she currently does, but with you present. She can also use your thigh or body in place of the pillow, you probably will have to use a lubricant to do this. You can also do what I call the "hot dog in a bun" or outer-course sexual technique. You still need to use birth control and/or a condom, but she straddles your penis and places it between the folds of her vulva and rubs her clitoris against the under side of your penis. Both partners can experience orgasm this way. If she desires an orgasm encourage her to masturbate rather than test your sexual skill. If she doesn't desire orgasm perhaps she is willing to give you an orgasm with her hands or mouth.

I would work on getting her to relax and enjoy what she does now rather than trying to move onto intercourse.

 

Question: I've had this big problem with crying during sex. Not all of the time, but quite often when I'm having sex with my boyfriend I get this feeling that comes on really suddenly that's very difficult to explain, but it results in me suddenly crying uncontrollably (in an upset way) and we have to stop.

It's not that it quite hurts, but it just feels sort of sensitive inside me, but in a bad way. It sort of feels like the penis is banging against my insides as opposed to the other times when it just glides in. It's not even that painful that I would imagine it would make me cry but somehow it always does. Please help me. I have tried looking everywhere but have found nothing. I don't even understand why I'm crying and can't explain it to my boyfriend so he just ends up feeling like it's somehow his fault.

Answer: It seems I recall another woman mentioning the same experience during sex, the experience of uncontrolled crying.

Quoting "Female Ejaculation & The-G-Spot" by Deborah Sundahl:

"Because of the complexity of the human sex organs, and the muscles, nerves, and brain that support them, orgasms and arousal can provide full-body sensations of intense erotic pleasure plus a wide range of emotions."

"The pelvic nerve, by contrast, is connected to the urethra, the female prostate and G-spot, the bladder, uterus, and the back two-thirds of the PC muscles, including the uterine muscles... Although research is ongoing, the personal experiences of many women who clearly distinguish between clitoral and G-spot orgasm suggest that the pelvic nerve may contribute to the more emotional experience of the G-spot orgasm."

This means it is possible there is a psychological, physical, cause for your crying rather than an emotional one. The physical stimulation is the cause rather than your mental state at the time. Its not just in your head.

Deborah's book covers the emotional responses possible during G-spot stimulation, which based on the above information would potentially include stimulation of the uterus, the cervix being the neck of the uterus.

You might want to read the review of the video Tantric Journey to Female Orgasm linked to below for mention of an emotional release brought about by G-Spot stimulation.

video.htm#tan

I suggest getting on top and experimenting with different positions to see what positions, angles, and depth of insertion causes these emotional responses. Discover whether is it stimulation of the front wall of the vagina that causes it or stimulation of your cervix. I know when I stimulate the cervix of some women I get a strong response from them, usually positive, but it could be too much for some. You could have your partner use their fingers, after washing them and trimming their fingernails, gentle massage your cervix to see what happens. Perhaps you can learn to use these feelings in a constructive way. I know some women find their cervix sensitive and when the penis hits against it they experience pain, not pleasure. These strong nerve impulses may result in a strong emotional response for you.

These experiences could also be linked to your menstrual cycle and the state of your uterus and cervix. There may be different amounts of muscular tension and sensitivity brought about hormonal changes in them.

 

Question: I don't know how to start this. but I think you may be able to help me. I am very much in love with an Egyptian girl.

I found out that she had been "mutilated" after one year of the relationship, as all seemed ok! Ok, I thought she had a rather small clit, but other than that, ???? SO WHAT!

She is 10ish years younger than me, and after a slight parting she came back to me, and announced that "she is not a real woman, and that we should part! As she is no good to me!" So after her divorce from an Arab she found a "lover." I don't care about this! She is lovely. Also she is the most caring person you have EVER met! Anyway, back to the nitty gritty our sex life was fine! Or so I thought! She spoke to a cousin who told her the truth! And then she went crazy. So slowly I showed her that she was normal. i.e. enjoyed making love, but now she thinks something is missing! She does cum, but thinks that maybe it would be different, if she was "NORMAL" Please reply, as I would like to know if I am some sort of weirdo or what?

Answer: This is not an easy subject to address. There are different social ideals of what is normal. Within the Egyptian society not having a clitoris may be considered "normal" and desirable but in Western society it is considered "abnormal" and undesirable. If a person lives in one society their physical anatomy may not correspond with the local ideal. An Egyptian woman may feel abnormal in a Western society but normal in her own, and a Western woman may feel abnormal in Egyptian society but normal in her own.

What affect if any FGM may have on a woman depends on the type of modification done to her body and her psychological expectations and her concept of "normal". The brain is the largest sexual organ and pleasure and sexual fulfillment is a mental perception not a physical experience. If having a clitoris makes you feel dirty or abnormal then having one will cause psychological distress. If you don't have a clitoris but judge yourself on Western ideals you may feel inadequate and abnormal and experience psychological distress. Anything can be normal or abnormal depending on context and expectation. While very rare, there are Western women who wish they did not have a clitoris and may have it removed, for various reasons.

There are different forms of FGM and her clitoris may still be intact, only her clitoral hood may have been removed, or simply nicked to draw blood. Even if her clitoris was removed she may still experience orgasm. Even if she doesn't experience orgasm she may enjoy sex and feel sexually fulfilled, if her expectations are being met. Based on some articles I have read, many women who have experienced FGM experience orgasm and/or enjoy sex. It depends on their motives to engage in sex and if their motives and expectations have been fulfilled. Psychological factors determine how they judge their sex life more than the state of their genitals or their physical enjoyment and pleasure. Even for Western women their nonsexual motives play a larger role in their enjoyment of sex than physical pleasure and orgasm. Even Western women engage in intercourse when it is a painful experience for them if they consider it normal and their non-sexual motives are fulfilled.

There are many areas of the body that may be sensitive to sexual stimulation and while removal of the clitoris may impair orgasm it doesn't necessarily prevent it. Some women have a numb clitoris or are only sensitive to vaginal, anal, or nipple stimulation. Other's have a clitoris that is painfully sensitive. Many women with a clitoris don't experience orgasm. A woman's physical anatomy does not automatically determine her sexual potential or enjoyment.

You need to understand her expectations of herself and any conflict that arises between reality and that expectation. If she feels abnormal or defective it may be impossible to make her feel otherwise, if she judges herself based on Western ideals instead of Egyptian ideals. This is not any different than a woman with small breasts wishing they were larger, feeling unattractive as a result. It may be hard to get her to understand that her prior pleasure and fulfillment was real, that there isn't more, that not having experienced FGM would not change anything. Even Western women fall victim of other's expectations regarding sex. They are told they should enjoy this or that and if they don't they feel abnormal.

Your feelings and reaction to her changed genitals could adversely affect her emotionally. You have to be careful not to direct your anger at her and her genitals, or give her the impression that you are. She may be more comfortable with a man who expects her genitals to modified.

Question: First of all I'd like to say what a wonderful site this is. It has been the most unique and though-provoking one I've come across on this subject. Getting to the point, I'd like to share an encounter (if one could call it that) that has left me very confused over the last few months and raise a few questions on the matter.

First, an introduction. I'm a 16 year old girl from India. This encounter I'm about to describe will include me and my best friend who we shall call Lucy (her real name is too complicated). I've been going to an all-girl boarding school since first grade. In the third grade Lucy joined the school as my roommate, and we've been best friends ever since.

I come from a rather rich family, full of hypocrites, with a history of men abusing women. I clearly remember the time when I was home during my vacations in the fourth grade and witnessed my mother being ruthlessly assaulted and then raped by my father over some argument. I peed in my pants that night: I had never felt such fear before.

My fear was complete when a few days later my father came into my room and began doing strange things 'down there'. I vividly remember the pain. He began routinely raping me every night, whilst acting as if nothing happened in the day. Over the next 2 years I was terrified of ever having to leave school, for I knew what awaited me back home. He was ruthless, and threatened to hurt me if I ever told anyone. He even made me feel as if it was my duty to serve him. I can never forgive him for what he did.

The first person outside my family who found out about my abuse was Lucy. One tearful night in the sixth grade I told her everything that happened. She told her cousin who worked in the U.K., and who appointed me to an experienced therapist.

What followed were months and months of rehabilitation and healing of my 'self'. I don't want to go into the details but let's just say I very-very slowly rose above my physical and mental anguish and transformed into a whole new person. Also around this time Lucy and me left the school dorm and moved in with her older sister in a separate apartment close to the city. I drowned myself in sports, dance and school work, hoping to keep at bay the isolation within me. It worked. Back at home, a sudden change of living conditions luckily prevented my father from abusing me further.

That was a bit of background regarding my life so far. Now getting to the point.

I've been an avid masturbator since the age of 11. I masturbate at least twice a day and employ a range of techniques. My masturbating fantasies involve not only boys, but many of them involve girls as well, especially my best friend Lucy. The fact that I suspected Lucy was lesbian made those fantasies even better. Yet I never thought much about my own orientation.

Then, one day (I was around 15½) my world turned upside down.

I was in the bathroom, in the middle of one of my regular masturbating sessions. Somehow I had forgotten to lock the door, and suddenly Lucy walked right in. For a second both of us stared at each other, stunned. She had seen me naked several times before, but it had been nothing like this. Despite feeling embarrassed, I also felt curious at how she would react. I never
expected what happened next.

Very slowly she came forward and asked if she could touch my breasts. Speechless I nodded. She touched them and the kissed them slowly at first and then harder, nibbling on my nipples and licking my flesh. Gradually she moved her lips up my neck and to my lips, kissing me softly, and then ran her tongue all the way to my navel and then to my thighs. I was so horny I couldn't tell her to stop even if I wanted to. She barely touched my pussy when unbidden I reached the most thrilling orgasm I ever had, and ejaculated all over her face.

Later that evening we talked about what happened and both of us were fine with it, and were eager to try more. I had never expected having first sex with my best friend, but when I think of it I'm glad it was her. She was considerate and was a girl, someone I could relate to.

We continued like this for a few months, sharing powerful sexual experiences nearly everyday, sometimes more than once. Eventually I began wondering how far we can take this thing, how deeply would our attraction affect our friendship. Ultimately we decided to simmer our act down, reduce the frequency of our sexual encounters, try not to get too emotionally involved. We understood that while we loved each other as friends our sexual attraction to each other didn't necessarily change that love into something more or even less.

Here is where I'm confused. From your site I know orientation is not something inherent. I find myself attracted mainly to boys, though I've never even considered a relationship with one. Yet my first real sexual experience was with a girl. Several times I've asked myself whether it was the 'person' Lucy and my feelings towards her, rather than her gender that caused me to accept her as a sexual partner. If that is so then what is the purpose of orientation at all? And is it possible that my past experiences with men have subconsciously turned me against entering a relationship with one and thus indirectly influenced my orientation.

Even today at times I feel this uncontrollable urge to screw my best friend, and indeed we've had several of such spontaneous flings whenever we can. This has left me severely confused. I've not felt such strong attraction to any other girl but her. I don't understand.

Anyway, I hope I've not bored you with all this. I've tried to be as clear as possible, but it's hard with all the confusion in me. Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

From someone from far-far away

Answer: I believe I have addressed a lot of this on the page about sexual orientation, which it appears you have read.

I believe the main factors involved are your normal but intense sexual desire, as indicated by your current sexual feelings and past masturbation activities, your closeness and intimacy with your friend, you felt close enough to her to disclose the abuse you were experiencing, and the socially taboo, or so I believe, nature of your relationship with her which makes it all the more exciting, kind of like forbidden love.

Since you probably don't have a close male friend and prior experience has taught you to be aware of the potential for the dark side of such a relationship it is less likely for you to trust a male acquaintance than a female one. While you may experience sexual attraction for men, as indicated by the sexual fantasies, in reality the lack of intimacy and trust is a barrier to physical sex with them. Teens and women who where not sexually abused by men have sexual relationships with female friends so your prior experience of abuse may or may not be a factor in all of this. It depends on whether you distrust all men or only your father and perhaps select other males. If you believe getting married will automatically result in abuse you may naturally choose not to. Even if you had no feelings or experiences with another female you would be reluctant to enter into a relationship with a male unless there was outside pressure to do so, or sexual desire attracted and compelled you to have sex with a male despite your reservations and fears.

Your believe that your friend is a lesbian may be valid or the result of your own desires, perhaps unacknowledged; perhaps it is you that is the lesbian. Her and your sexual orientations aren't really a factor at present, as you engage in sex together. Regardless of what you believe to be true or expected you are in a sexual relationship with. Does the label you receive or accept really matter in the present tense? In the long term yes, as one or both of you may choose to end the relationship if you decide it is inappropriate or undesired, by yourself, friends, family, or society. That will not change your needs, wants, and experiences. I know other female couples have ended their relationships because of desire to conform to their own or other's expectations of them. They may believe it is okay to experiment as a teen or young adult but eventually they conform to social expectations, not without personal sacrifice and pain.

By limiting your sexual activities you may actually increase your desire for them. It is forbidden fruit, which makes you want it all the more. You are a teen so one should not be surprised if you are experiencing intense sexual desire. The anatomy of your sexual partner wont change that. The more sexual a woman is the more sexual she is and can be. If there are positive rewards to having sex, the pleasure and intimacy, would serve as motivation to repeat the experience regardless of the anatomy involved, and your true sexual orientations. It is my believe that a persona's sexual orientation is determined by their needs at the time and who is available to fulfill them. At present there is no need for your partner to have a penis so a female will do just as well as a male.

If you had not had a intimate relationship with your friend and had not spent a lot of time together the opportunity for the sexual relationship would have been less likely. Your relationship may be the result of circumstance, but it is a real experience and not of less value than a relationship where she was a he. Even if she was a he, your sexual relationship would have required the same things to occur prior to the physical sex.

Figuring out the attraction may be a little more complex. You could be attracted to her for physical and/or emotional reasons. It could simply be the result of your needs and the person that was available to fulfill them rather than attraction. The attraction now is that she fulfills those needs. It is a matter of supply and demand.

Ask yourself what your needs are now and what is the best way to fulfill them, without causing yourself or others harm. That potential harm stems from your and your friend's long term expectations of the relationship and the possible public disclosure of the relationship. If one of you is simply experimenting and the other wants a lasting relationship that could result in problems down the road. If both of you simply need a safe outlet for your current sexual energy then there may be no harm or risks involved.

Question: Hi, maybe you can help me? My wife is 50 years old and we had a long lasting phase of a few years during which we didn't have any sex. What astonishes me is if a clit can shrink? A few years ago, her clit had the size of a pea. Now, you hardly feel and see it anymore. It is as if there is only a kind of "little bump" you have to look for. When gently stroking it, I don't really know if this provokes any stimulation. I know that she doesn't masturbate and sexually isn't otherwise active. So, I wonder if a clit can shrink during the menopause when not having sexual stimulation? What can be done to reverse that (hormones)?

Answer: Yes, the clitoris can shrink considerable during menopause. As a woman's hormonal levels decline her body goes through a process this is much like puberty in reverse. During puberty a woman's genitals may increase significantly in size. Please see the information linked to below:

qa_3/qa3_1.htm

http://www.menopause.org/04D.pdf

http://www.merck.com/mrkshared/mmanual/section18/chapter236/236a.jsp

http://www.womanlab.com/english/menopause/info/aboutmen11.htm

 

Question: I'm a big fan of your site and I'd just like to ask a quick question. I'm quite small chested and self conscious about this. Last week my boyfriend went to a strip club with his friends, this really upset me and now we aren't really speaking to each other, its put a great strain on our relationship. I asked him if it was because he's dissatisfied with my body and has to remind himself of what he's missing? He told me I was being silly and that he wasn't going to Answer: that question. Was I right? Did I over-react, should I be this upset by it?

Answer: There is likely a difference perspectives.

He likely sees it as harmless fun. Hanging out with the boys. It isn't that he is dissatisfied with you or your body. You don't know which strippers he found attractive, if any, and why. You don't know if they had large or small breasts. It is also an escape from reality. It is game between the customer and the dancer. He knows he isn't going home with the dancer, but it might be nice to imagine he is. You are assuming he prefers large breasts, which may not be true. To guys breasts are more like icing on the cake rather than the main course. Just because a guy finds a woman physically or sexually attractive that doesn't mean they want to have sex with her or that they like her; this topic is addressed on the page about sexual desire. If large breasts were important to him he likely wouldn't be dating you, or if he is and they are then it reflects poorly on him rather than you, because he then lacks the self confidence to go after the woman with large breasts. I have found most guys are more than happy with small breasts. While large beasts gain their attention it isn't that small ones don't get their attention at all. Since he came home to you he may feel he has proven to you he is attracted to you. Even if he likes large breasts they may not be important to him, they are nice but not necessary. They don't have the same importance to him that they do to you. It is likely better for a guy not to be attracted to you because of your breasts than to be attracted to you only because of your breasts, regardless of their size. I would imagine most women want to be noticed for more than their breasts. It is possible that you have the large breast fetish rather than him.

To you, you see his actions as demonstrating he isn't satisfied with you, that your body isn't good enough, because you have been conditioned to believe guys only like large beasts. In reality about 25% of guys are attracted to large breasts, 25% find small breasts attractive, and the other 50% find other physical attributes attractive. This means 75% of men are potentially attracted to you. This is perhaps more about your self confidence than his actions and likes. Perhaps you need to find things about your body that you find attractive; don't focus on your breasts. Perhaps you can find something you like about your breasts, their shape, firmness, or the size or sensitivity of your nipples. Don't focus on their size. They aren't very big but...

You may also be overlooking the fact that you most likely look at other men and find them physically attractive. You may not go to a strip club but you likely have undressed guys with your eyes. There are likely physical attributes your boyfriend doesn't have that you like and other men have. You would be lucky if you found your perfect man. Be careful not to judge him any differently than you would yourself. You may have been just as "unfaithful" with your mind as he has been with his actions. You may fantasize about what is under men's cloths but he goes and finds out what is under women's cloths; he is less imaginative, as perhaps many men are.

Breast size is also addressed on the page about the anatomy of the breasts linked to below:

breast.htm

While this is important to you it may not be to him and you may need to explain this to him. He then should explain his side. If you cannot talk about this then there is a barrier to communication that likely affects all aspects of your relationship. This issues is about more than your breasts.