Does this mean that I am on the verge of orgasm, or does it mean that I have passed orgasm, and am in a state of being overly stimulated too quickly, and need to back off for a little while?
I would appreciate your advice on this.
Answer: This is not an unusual response to clitoral stimulation. Clitoral stimulation can be very intense, too intense is some cases.
You do not mention if you masturbate, and if you incorporate clitoral stimulation into these activities. It simply may be that your mind and body need to learn how to handle this intense form of stimulation. Get some lubricant and explore your clitoris alone and see what happens. Also explore your vulva with a mirror.
You may be tensing up physically and emotionally, because the sensations become so strong, and develop too quickly. Make sure you are breathing and staying relaxed. Breath deeply; some recommend panting like they teach during natural childbirth classes. Make sure your hands and teeth are not clenched, and your toes aren't curled. It may help to start out with a full body massage then move onto vulvar massage.
Your boyfriend may be going too quickly, too fast for your body. Your body is not getting aroused prior to the intense clitoral stimulation. He needs to slow down, provide indirect clitoral stimulation, and use plenty of lubrication. Ideally you should be very aroused prior to his touching your clitoris. He can massage you entire vulva by cupping it with his hand, massage your clitoral hood but not the clitoral glans, or caress you through your underwear.
Hold his arm with one of your hands and use your grasp to indicate what you want from him. Increase your pressure to show you want more pressure, decrease your pressure to indicate you want less, remove your hand to indicate stop, and reapply your hand to indicate start again. Tell him what your hand movements mean prior to starting.
Go slow with this and keep in mind you need to learn how to enjoy clitoral stimulation. This current situation does not reflect negatively on you or your boyfriend.
Continue to explore but also keep in mind some women have a clitoris that is simply too sensitive to be stimulated directly. You may prefer to rub your vulva against his body instead.
Ejaculation can occur without orgasm, and clitoral and vaginal orgasms can feel different. Vaginal orgasms may be full body and softer, and clitoral orgasms more intense and focused and centered on the clitoris. You need to explore and discover how and if you can experience these different types of orgasms and experiences.