Question: My friend's clitoris is located inside the vagina. Not under the clitoral hood. Unable to see except maybe w/light/camera/mirror/etc... (1-1/2" long, circumference of pinky finger, erect during arousal). Insert finger to touch. Unsure how to describe location: inside top front I take it this must be very unusual. What is it called?
Answer: I haven't heard of anatomy like this before, or situations where the
clitoris was located inside the vagina. While many developmental anomalies
are possible, I don't believe it is possible for the clitoris to be located
inside the vagina, as it is a superficial structure.
The anatomy illustrations linked to below show the position of the clitoris
within the body.
female_sexual_anatomy_a.htm
anatomy_of_vagina.htm
The manner in which the female genitals develop, while in the womb, is
addressed on the following page.
fetal_development.htm
Inside the vagina, the female prostate gland is often the most sensitive
area and structure, and located along the top wall.
female_ejaculation.htm
Question: I really need some dating help. So I really like this guy who I've been friends with for several years. I know he likes me too because we've talked about it a couple times. I would love to go out with him, but I'm afraid to ask him out because I'm not really good with people and I always find myself searching desperately for something to talk about. Plus, I've never had a boyfriend so everything is really new to me. If you could help at all, I would be so grateful.
Answer: I can only suggest you participate in an activity together than doesn't
require a lot of conversation. Go bowling, play miniature golf, see a movie, or
watch a movie at home (if it is safe to, and/or you are ready for partnered sex). Go
for a walk and take his hand in your hand, and give him a smile, to express
your desire and interest, allow your surroundings to provide the
conversation: that is listen and watch, don't feel compelled to speak.
If you have an interest or hobby in common, more than a mutual attraction,
then having a conversation will be easier. Have you known him for years
because you engage in the same activities, or because you share the same
friends? If you only share friends, developing a relationship could be more difficult, as you may have less in common to talk about.
You can also express your interest and inhibitions in a note, email, or text
message. Be honest with him and yourself.
If it doesn't work out, don't fault yourself, it is simply fate, whether it
works out or not.
Question: Hi, I have what I believe to be a Septate Hymen. It was broken during intercourse and now it is hanging from my vagina. It's about halve an inch long and it falls over the vaginal opening. I was wondering if this would cause complications during intercourse? Or if I need to have it removed? Thank You!
Answer: I'm not a doctor so I cannot provide a medical diagnosis, only general
information.
It seems possible that it may cause discomfort during intercourse, but I
don't know if it will be the case for you. Hymeneal remnants or tags appear
to be common, but most women don't appear to be adversely affected by them.
As a related example, some women report their inner labia cause discomfort
during intercourse, but I believe most do not.
I don't believe most hymeneal tags project out of the vagina, which may
result in irritation of the tissue during normal daily activities,
necessitating a visit to the doctor.
It is possible the tissue may go away or tear away on its own, during
repeated experiences of intercourse. A doctor could also remove the tissue,
but a local anesthetic would likely have to be administered, which may cause
short term discomfort.
Perhaps you can wait and see, being gentle during intercourse, at least
initially. Vigorous intercourse may resolve the problem too, but with some
degree of pain and bleeding. You will need to determine the appropriate
course of action suitable to your situation.
Sorry that I can't provide a definitive answer.
Question: After years of repression, I feel my sexuality is on the path to great health. It's been developing slowly for the past couple years and skyrocketing in the past few months. I'm lucky in that I have had no bad sexual experiences. At 22, I was pre-orgasmic until a month ago. It's been a good month. ;) I was insatiable for awhile prior to becoming orgasmic, and remained so for awhile after. Now, while my sex drive remains fairly strong, it's back to a 'content' level.
During the time when my lack of orgasm felt like a site of contention between myself and my then-partner, I read anything I could find about anorgasmia. Now that I'm orgasmic, I've been looking to see if I could find anything about the experiences of those who have overcome anorgasmia. There seems to be very little. While the "problem" in question may have been "solved", I'm curious about other people's experiences afterwards. It's felt like a crucial change for me, much more so than I'd expected. Do you know of any such sources of information? I'd also be curious about what changes occur in the brains and bodies of pre-orgasmic women who become orgasmic, if any such information is available.
In terms of my own experiences, becoming orgasmic coincided with decline in a relationship and being broken up with shortly after. I have a lot of mental energy centered around the idea of orgasms due to this timing and to past discord and stress over them. I also feel like I undervalued how wonderful of a thing it was to "give" someone else an orgasm, because I didn't know what they were like. I'm currently in a new relationship, and there are a flurry of other changes in my life, so it's all been a matter of timing. But it stunned me that becoming orgasmic would mean so much more to me and be so much more of a shock to the system than, say, having sex for the first time. Prior to that, I've had prolonged instances of unreciprocated attraction and have felt as if I could die from intense, painful sexual tension that sometimes built for years. What I'm guessing is a high libido in me was extremely suppressed. Finally having the capacity for sexual release after those years is, to say the least, freeing. It's a huge relief to know that I'll never have to "go back there". In regards to the feelings of upheaval brought on by changes, I do journal fairly regularly, talk with friends, and in terms of orgasm and sensual pleasure, I certainly experiment (and will with my partner when the time is right). I'm not worried, just still feeling ungrounded. Any context about pre-orgasmic women becoming orgasmic would be cool, to provide more of a sense of what's going on in at least that one thing.
Another thing I'm curious about is multiple orgasms. Using a vibrator, from day 1 of breaking through my block I've been able to have multiples with relative ease- sometimes sequential, but either immediately or after a few, I hit a "platform" of serial multiples, where continual small amounts of the right stimulation produce continual orgasms (very small ones, so I strategically take breaks to build them up). One site suggested that the capacity for multiple orgasms is genetic, but didn't offer further information to back up or elaborate this claim. Is there any research on this? I'm also wondering if there's more of a genetic basis for serials (repeats with no refractory period) than sequentials (repeats with short warm-ups or refractory period in between), as more women I know seem capable of sequentials but not serials, and I'm guessing the latter are less common. Is there any info on differences between these types? Did I simply score in a genetic lottery, or are there tricks for serials/ quicker multiples? Are many woman who are multi-orgasmic able to reach this "platform" of serials that I'm lucky enough to have?
Answer: Congratulations on learning how to experience orgasm.
You raise some excellent questions, but I'm not aware of any research that
answers them. I can only guess at the reason, which is, once you are
orgasmic, the presumption is that you are now like the majority of women,
and no longer in need of special attention. We may presume that once a woman
becomes orgasmic, she is like other orgasmic women. You raise the
possibility this isn't actually the case.
A couple people have mentioned that when they or their partner learned to
experience orgasm, in their late teens or early twenties, it was like a dam
broke, and there was an enormous amount of sexual energy released, and
frequent desire for masturbation and orgasm. It is like they are making up
for all the missed orgasms, in a short amount of time.
The survey linked to below asks women about their experience of multiple
orgasms while masturbating, and the different types of multiple orgasms.
http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/185039/results
I'm also not aware of any research into multiple orgasms, as we are still
struggling to understand the cause and absence of a single orgasm.
If you are wanting to explore medical journals for answers to your
questions, the one linked to below may be of help.
http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/118495964/home
Here Follow-up: Thank you for your response. I am definitely one of those women who's had a "dam break" and is making up for lost orgasms, and wondering how long it will take me to make up for them! I imagine that women after becoming orgasmic are eventually like other orgasmic women, but like most intense physical and psychological changes, it takes some adjustment. It's a new phenomenon to be incorporated into a woman's life that wasn't there previously, and brings the need for a new and different homeostasis to be established.
I'm also hypothesizing that it's easier for a newly orgasmic woman to train herself in different ways, as she doesn't yet have a set pattern. A recent experience that's made me think this, in addition to the ease with which I was able to have multiples, is the fact that I inadvertently thought myself to orgasm recently and now seem able to do this when aroused enough. My case has got to be extremely unusual, but I think something from it applies.
Thanks for your journal recommendation. The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy also has some articles on women who have completed pre-orgasmic group treatment, suggesting that they felt more assertive and, among those who are married, had better communication with their partners, and (as with the cases you've mentioned) had increased sexual arousal.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6663646
Question: I am a little confused about the type of female circumcision which is performed in some Muslim majority countries. There was a video I watched of an old woman in Iraq who said she has performed hundreds of female circumcisions. She emphatically said that she removes only the covering of the top of the clitoris.
I have read some people (not old native women like her) say that the entire clitoris is removed. What is the truth?
If only the covering of the top of the clitoris is removed, won't that enhance sexual pleasure by providing the clitoris more stimulation? If yes, are there special places in the U.S. where this can be done? I am 22 years old from CA.
Answer: 'Female Circumcision' is a generic term used to describe a wide range of
different forms of female genital mutilation or cutting, as explained on the website
linked to below:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_genital_cutting
For a short time in American medical history, the hood of the clitoris was
being removed to 'cure' masturbation in some, and to enhance sexual pleasure in others, two opposing results.
The Q&A linked to below addresses the removal of the clitoral hood to
improve sexual pleasure.
qa_2/qa2_7.htm
Plastic surgeons that perform labioplasty, trimming of the inner labia, may
also reduce the size of the clitoral hood. Many doctors in California
perform these procedures, for cosmetic reasons.
The subject is addressed in the following Q&A:
qa_11.htm#q8
Question: Hello, I'm 17 years old and I'm very insecure about myself sexually. That being said, I'm not sure how it feels like to orgasm. I cry myself to sleep after I masturbate because I didn't reach my orgasm and I don't know why. I'm convinced that something is wrong with me and all I want is just to be able to get aroused and wet and actually achieve an orgasm. I'm tired of not being able to and unable to feel like a girl :(
I feel like a failure as a woman.
Answer: You aren't as alone in your experience as you may believe. Many of your
peers share your experience and frustration. Many of the questions and
answers on the website address your experience, concerns, and possible
solutions. There may or may not be a quick and easy solution. Please see
the following references:
qa_39.htm#short
Note: An electric tooth brush or a "body massager" would also work.
qa_39.htm#q5
qa_index_arousal.htm#impaired
qa_index_puberty.htm
how_to_have_female_orgasms.htm
Please feel free to write back if you have further questions.
Question: I've been reading your website for a few years and I think its great! It really helped me out during a time of sexual confusion when I wanted to know more about masturbation and my sex drive. So I just wanted to say thanks first!
I am almost 20 years old and have been "sexually active" since about 16 (in doctors terms), but I consider it more like since I was 18. I've been masturbating for as long as I can remember. I used to feel ashamed and embarrassed about it but as I got older I understood that it was normal and that I should learn to accept my desire to pleasure myself. Reading your site also helped me understand that it's an important way of of showing yourself love, so I really thank you for that.
I forget which type it is, but the way I usually masturbate is on my stomach, with a pillow between my legs. I really enjoy the pressure it puts on my vulva and stimulating my clitoris indirectly . Sometimes I use my hand, or a pillow and a hand, or a finger or two inside my vagina on a pillow. I also recently purchased a vibrator so sometimes I use that while I masturbate, either between my vulva and the pillow, or inside my vagina. I'm still learning but I've gotten pretty good at reaching climax in different ways and intensifying them.
My concern with orgasm comes into play when a partner is involved. I've never experienced orgasm during intercourse. Pretty much nothing works, oral, penetration, clitoral stimulation. Don't get me wrong I highly enjoy sex but I've come to understand that it is completely normal and common for women to have difficulty reaching orgasm during intercourse and I am ok with that. I've never felt the need to fake an orgasm; I just tell my partners that it is extremely difficult for me to reach orgasm and they usually still put a good amount of effort into the sex which is Just as satisfying for me. I've made up for it by telling them what I do or do not like and its worked wonders so far.
I've started a new meaningful relationship with someone and it has become sexual in the past month. The sex is pretty amazing, but he was surprised to learn that it is difficult for some women to orgasm from intercourse (as the only partners he's ever had, just two, were able to orgasm). Sometimes he apologizes for his inability to make me come, but I try my best to reassure him that it's not his "fault" and that its just a matter of learning what works for me and to just enjoy the sex.
Until this relationship I thought orgasm simply was not possible but our last few sessions have proven otherwise. I've started to have these kind of what I call "mini-orgasms" or maybe they were orgasms....The first time (well first two) was when we were well into an our of sex. We were in my favorite position: on my back slightly elevated with pillows and my legs over his shoulders. I just love the how deep this gets...i told him to go how I like it, slow but still hard, and that was when I started to feel something I've never really felt before. It felt like the beginning of an orgasm but it was quite different from how it feels when I masturbate. I can't really describe it but it felt more like a pressure building up than a pulsating pressure. I could feel it everywhere and in a way could feel myself stiffen and my back started to arch. He was still going the same way and for a few seconds it subsided but then it came back this time a bit more intense. I called them mini-orgasms because I never felt the *wave crash over me*. Maybe this is pre-orgasm? It happened again last night but in a different position. I like to call it a T position because he is almost perpendicular to me on his side while I am on my back with one leg over him. This time only one "mini-orgasm" but it was definitely there.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe I am too nervous or thinking about it too much. I am definitely excited and relieved to know that its possible and am a bit antsy about figuring it out, but at the same time I don't want to get too anxious about it as it may hinder the experience. What do you think I should do to make these "mini-orgasms" into a full one? Should he or myself stimulate my clitoris more? I've read all over your website that clitoral stimulation may help, but I don't even directly stimulate my clitoris when I masturbate (to reach climax anyway). What should I do to reach the climax that I begin to feel?
Any advice would be a great help. Thank you.
Answer: I am very happy to hear you have been enjoying and benefiting from the
website for several years.
I am guessing you are engaging in deep penetration that stimulates your
cervix, because of the position of your bodies. I don't know if you are
having an orgasm, or experiencing a new sensation that results from the
cervical stimulation. I'm not female, so I cannot relate to this personally.
To the best of my knowledge, clitoral, vaginal, uterine, and cervical
orgasms all involve rhythmic contractions. If you can feel something
contracting rhythmically, then it is likely an orgasm. All the organs listed
above are muscular, except for the clitoris, which is connected to the
muscles of the pelvic outlet, which contract during clitoral orgasms.
I have a survey that explores the cervix and sex, as I have witnessed some
interesting experiences in my partners during cervical stimulation. There is
a different type of sensation possible during cervical stimulation, which I
refer to as an "indescribable sensation," as it isn't pain or pleasure, but
something else. Many of the survey participants indicate they have
experienced this sensation.
Here is the survey:
http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/277837/results
Here is where I talk about my experiences with cervical sex:
../phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=6
Rear entry positions allow for deep penetration, so you might give this a
try, to see if the sensation can be extended. In some cases, I have been
able to stimulate a woman's cervix with my fingers, with others a good sized
dildo was require. I wouldn't recommend a long skinny dildo for this, but
one with both girth and length, as you don't want to be poking anything.
As far as clitoral stimulation. Yes, it does appear to be the most conducive
to orgasm, but it isn't absolutely required. I caution folks not to make sex
about orgasms on the website, in the article linked to below:
did_she_experience_orgasm.htm
You are young and exploring sex, so if you are happy with what you are
doing, then continue to do so. Other women have mentioned they don't feel
compelled to have orgasms during partnered sex, it isn't why they are doing
it.
You might incorporate your masturbation technique into your partnered
activities, specifically if your explore rear entry, i.e. doggy style. Pile
up some pillows and rub away as your partner penetrates you rhythmically and
deeply from behind.
At some point, teach your boyfriend how to use the vibrator. Any young man
who is surprised to learn his girlfriend masturbates and uses a vibrator in
this day and age, would have to have been living in cave with no access to
the internet.
I hope this information is of help.
Question: I have never had an orgasm before, though I desire sex. But I do not have a lot of sensation in the vaginal area and even less in the clit area. I love to use a vibrator. And it takes a lot to make it feel good. But every time I use a vibrator, I feel less and it takes more to feel good. How can I feel more, (be more sensitive) it is like my nerves are dead? I need help. Any suggestions?
Answer: Do you incorporate mental stimulation into your masturbation sessions? Use
your brain to get yourself aroused prior to exploring physical stimulation.
If you aren't appropriately aroused then your genitals are less likely to be
sensitive to sexual stimulation.
The following article and section addresses female sexual fantasies.
fant_indx.htm
The subject of exploring sexual arousal is addressed in the following Q&A:
perception_of_sexual_arousal_and_desire.htm
Many women mention they enjoy looking at porn when they masturbate, or in
preparation for it, on the website linked to below:
http://www.doubleclickheaven.com/html/intro.html
If you are having trouble getting sexually aroused, or with lack of
sensation, the article about Sexual Satisfaction may be of help.
sat_indx.htm
Impaired sexual response is also addressed in many Q&As on the website.
qa_index_arousal.htm#impaired
Question: Hello, I never examine my vulva my entire life (22 years old now) until I fell off my bike the other day. So I don't know if my clit was like this before or after the fall.
Basically my clit began to bleed heavily (no more bleeding after the first day). Now when I look at it I think it rip/split vertically down from the middle to where the inner labia meets. My inner labia don't meet below my clit but right through the middle of my clit, because of the "rip"
Is this normal? I seen so many pictures from this site where the labia mostly meet below the clits but a couple are like mine but without the "rip" look.
For example : ../y/vulva/fsimages/vulva43.jpg
I think this is one, not sure ---> ../y/vulva/fsimages/vulva62.jpg
Please help me answer and say mine is normal or at least its just a little rip that will reform back to normal. I can't feel my clit. Please advise.
Answer: The first photo you reference, the slit or groove in the clitoral glans is
the location the urethra would have been located had this clitoris developed into a penis. This is a common feature in well developed clitorises, those
that are much larger than average. The urethra is where urine exits the body in men and
women.
You can see a close-up example of this in the images linked to below.
../x/urethra/46.jpg
../x/enhance/enhance7.jpg
There is not normally a groove or tear in the top half of the clitoral
glans. The clitoral glans should be shaped like the tip of the penis,
regardless of size.
In the second image you mention, the clitoral glans is not visible, only the
clitoral hood and inner labia.
Given the time that has passed, I don't believe the injury could be repaired
by sutures (micro sutures). The sensitivity of the clitoral glans may return
to its prior level once the injury has healed, assuming any damaged nerves are able to repair themselves.
Blunt force trauma to the clitoris and pubic bone may result in
numbness, as mentioned in the Q&A linked to below:
Anxiety and stress caused by the possibility of lost sensation and function may result in decreased sexual responses and sensitivity, because your body is in a defensive rather than sexual mode. You may need to take a break from sexual stimulation for a short time, try to have a positive outlook, then explore your vulva and its sensitivity in baby steps, as would a young girl exploring her vulva for the first time. Remember, your brain is your largest sexual organ, which influences your sexual potential more than does other part of your body. Also keep in mind the fact that your vulva is very resilient, as it is designed so a full term infant is able to pass through it.
Question Part 1: First and foremost I would like to say thank you for creating this website, I found it to be rather useful and learned how to take better care of myself. This website has provided the answers to majority of my questions however, there are a few points i would like be clarified.
In the section on how to care for your vulva it states that toilet tissue should not be used and instead to allow the area to dry naturally. Whilst at home this can be done however, when traveling this may prove a little difficult, what do you suggest?
I would like to examine my vulva for a number of reasons some of which include to see what it feels likes, smells/taste like though having never done this before I am a little anxious as I do not want to cause myself an injury.
Lastly, I thought smegma was beneficial to the vulva therefore should it be rinsed away on a daily basis?
Answer Part 1: I am very happy to learn the website has been of help to you.
On the website, I mention using plain white toilet paper, though rinsing
with water or allowing the moisture to evaporate away might be better
options. I guess I should have mentioned the idea of patting the vulva dry,
versus wiping it dry. If you spread your labia with your fingers while
urinating, perhaps less moisture would be left behind. The common use of
form fitting clothing likely prevents most women from allowing their vulva
to air dry, and doing so would result in a warm moist environment
developing.
The vulva is very durable, as a full term infant can pass through it. It is
very unlikely you will harm your vulva whole touching and looking at it.
Doctors normally examine the vulva during a gynecological exam.
As far as your third question, I state the following on the website:
"All that a woman needs to do to care for her vulva is to rinse it with plain water at bath time and wear loose fitting clothing. Just slip your fingers between your labia and retract your clitoral hood and gently rinse away any accumulated body fluids. A washcloth and soap are not required and are advised against. Frequent bathing is not wise and can actually cause problems, so do not feel it necessary to rinse your vulva daily. Perhaps a quick sniff test can tell you if it is necessary; you need to be in tune with your body prior to doing this. As mentioned above, accumulation of sebum is not harmful."
The above quote is from the article linked to below:
feminine_hygiene.htm
I hope this information has addressed your concerns.
Question Part 2: To be honest I have tried each these options and haven't found one that is right for me, I thought toilet paper was bad for the body as on the website it states that fibres can get trapped between the labia therefore, I try to limited my exposure. I find that when I rinse my vulva too often it becomes very dry so this method is not suited and then i do not like the idea of leaving excess moisture in the area to fester. You mentioned patting the area dry rather wiping how is this better wont fibres still be left behind or not? I have recently found a toilet tissue that is made from organic cotton would this be better and less fibrous. Finally I must ask after urinating are you suppose to separate the inner labia and wipe between or wipe the outer labia or both as since a little girl I've been taught to wipe the outer surfaces. Finally during menstruation will patting the inner/outer labia be sufficient to remove excess blood any tips here? Please help rather clueless.
Answer Part 2: My recommendations are meant to be general guidelines, as I cannot foresee all the possible anatomical and environmental variables that exist.
Patting the vulva with toilet paper rather than wiping should prevent the friction that causes the paper to break apart, leaving fibers and fragments behind. Pressing soft and absorbent toilet paper against the vulva should be sufficient to absorb excess moisture. Gently rocking your hand side to side may result in the absorption of additional moisture. If you have large inner and/or outer labia, or a deep introitus, removing excess moisture could be more challenging.
Something to consider, toilet paper is a modern invention, one that isn't available or used throughout the world. I've visited places where toilet paper wasn't available, or what they called toilet paper, you wouldn't want to use.
Whether or not you need to remove urine from between your labia may depend on your particular anatomy, and if excess moisture results in irritation, odor, etc. I don't know what women typically do, and if what they do is beneficial or harmful. Perhaps women simply learn to do what is best for them, but as the personal experience at the bottom of the article linked to below points out, you can learn to do too much, which causes more problems than it prevents. At least of examples of women wiping that I have witnessed, it seems to be a quick and casual affair.
feminine_hygiene.htm
During menstruation, assuming you are using pads, being concerned with removing all fluid from the labia wouldn't accomplish much, as it would quickly be replaced with new fluid. If using tampons, wiping wouldn't removed dried blood, and attempting to do so would likely irritate the labia. You would only want to absorb what is still in liquid form, which patting with toilet paper should accomplish.
Overall, you are perhaps too concerned with hygiene, and need to do less, and allow nature to take its course.
