Question: Ok, this is very embarrassing, but my name is Charlotte and I am 16. My dad bought me a vibrator yesterday and wanted to show me how to use it, and I let him seeing as he had gone to the trouble of getting it for me. But now I feel really embarrassed that I took my knickers off for him and he saw me in that way. What should I do?
Answer: While this is not a typical thing for a teenage girl to experience with her father, it may not be unheard of. It depends on the type of relationship you have with him. Some relationships are more physical than others. Apparently, there are fathers and daughters who have consensual sex. Even so, it is usually illegal regardless of the situation.
You need to make the determination as to whether it was appropriate for you. If you now feel it was inappropriate, even though you consented at the time, you need to decide a course of action. You can simply tell him that while you enjoyed what happened, you do not feel it was appropriate and will not allow it to happen again. You can also approach your local law enforcement agency and ask that they intervene.
Even though he bought you a vibrator he probably should not have offered to show you how to use it, or to have had sex with you. You are not the first teenage girl to receive a vibrator from her father. I would hope he did not buy it hoping to have sex with you. That would be inappropriate on his part. You certainly could have figured out how to use it all by yourself.
If it just happened and you enjoyed the attention and have a close relationship with your father, I would not say you acted inappropriately. You may have been caught up in the moment. It simply may be one of those things you laugh about with your father in the future.
The possible guilt, shame, or embarrassment you feel as a result of this incident may be hard for you to handle. This is not something you will likely be able to discuss with your family and friends. You may start to be angry with your father for making you feel this way. This would be a natural response. If this happens, you will want to contact your local rape counseling center or sexual abuse assistance personnel.
The fact that you physically enjoyed this activity and the attention does not make you a bad or weird person. I can certainly see how this could happen, if a girl had a close relationship with her father and trusted him. Many teenage girls have sexual fantasies involving their fathers, but they usually do not act upon those feelings, because of social mores and laws. Even knowing it was wrong may not be enough to stop you if your sexual desire kicks in and takes over.
Your father obviously thought about this beforehand and knew the possible ramifications and outcomes. If anyone is at fault it is he. It was not a totally accident on his part, and he may have taken advantage of you.
I do not feel you should be embarrassed because your father saw you in a state of undress and experiencing sexual pleasure. It was of his doing, so again, he is at fault, not you. There is a chance he was honestly trying to teach you about the pleasure your body can give you, in an unconventional way.