Question: I'm sixteen years old and I have been masturbating almost every day, probably since I was twelve. A few weeks ago myself and one of my friends was discussing this particular topic. She said that she doesn't masturbate, when I asked her why, she said it dulls the clitoris for further sexual experiences. If I masturbate, will that dull my clitoris and make sex worse when I get older?

Answer: No, this is definitely not true. Actually, just the opposite is. Most doctors and sex educators say masturbation is a normal, healthy, and necessary part of growing up and being an adult. Masturbation teaches you about your body.

How can something that feels so good be bad for you? Imagine if you had not been masturbating for the past four years how sexually frustrated you would feel today! Think about how much pleasure you have given yourself.

Your friend's views on masturbation are likely based on old and outdated theories on female sexuality. A long time ago a guy by the name of Dr. Freud came up with this theory that "mature women" had vaginal orgasms and "immature girls" had clitoral orgasms. Young girls may masturbate but adult women were expected to engage in and enjoy only vaginal intercourse. Women were expected to get all their sexual pleasure from their partner, specifically their partner's penis.

As a result, everyone came to expect women to have orgasms during vaginal intercourse. If a woman did not experience orgasm during intercourse, masturbation was thought to be the cause. Masturbation must have desensitized her to penile stimulation. This is now known to be totally untrue even though many people still believe it.

The simply truth is, most women require clitoral stimulation if they are to experience orgasm. This is a fact dictated by a woman's anatomy. A woman's clitoris is often her most sensitive sexual organ because it has so many nerve endings. The vagina does not have as many nerve endings. Vaginal stimulation may feel pleasurable and enhance a woman's sexual pleasure and orgasms, but vaginal stimulation alone is not likely to result in orgasm for the majority of women. If you or your partner does not stimulate your clitoris during partner sex, chances are you will not experience orgasm.

If your friend believes she will be experiencing intense pleasure and orgasms during vaginal intercourse, she will likely be very disappointed and confused when she starts engaging in partner sex. While she may experience sexual pleasure, orgasm will most likely be absent from her sexual experiences.

If you did not use your hands, legs, eyes, voice, etc., for the first twenty years of your life, would you expect them to function fully when you did try to use them? Would they work at all? Could you ever learn to use them? Would you gain full use of them the instant you first tried to use them? Definitely not. The same is true of your sexual organs.

To believe a girl or boy can go twenty years without using their sexual organs and to expect those previously unused organs to suddenly be fully functional in a manner of seconds is simply crazy. Becoming a healthy sexual adult first requires that you be a sexual child. You cannot turn your sexuality on and off like a light bulb. The longer a person postpones their sexual development, the harder it is for them to be sexual and enjoy sex.

Being able to masturbate to orgasm prior to engaging in partner sex means you are more likely to be able to enjoy partner sex and experience orgasm. Sexual arousal and orgasm are not foreign to you. You know what to expect. Your mind and body are already familiar with sexual arousal and orgasm. You have heard the expression, "Use it or lose it!" well this definitely applies to your clitoris and other sexual organs as well, including your largest sexual organ, your brain. The more sexual you are, the more sexual you can be. The more orgasms you have, the more orgasms you can have.

Have you been taught how to make love to a partner? Do you believe your future partners has been taught how to make love to you? I suspect the answer to these questions is no. If your partner does not know how to make love to you, what are the chances they will know how to give you sexual pleasure and orgasm? If you did not know how to give yourself sexual pleasure what would you do? What would you do with all your sexual energy and tension? Is a partner always going to be available when you desire sexual pleasure? Are you always going to want a partner and rely solely on them for your sexual pleasure? Are you ready to engage in partner sex now and were you ready at the age of twelve? See why masturbation is so important!

Continue to give yourself sexual pleasure and orgasm, and fill your friend in on the facts. Perhaps you may want to teach her how to masturbate.