Question: I am a 46 yr. old woman with everything still intact. I use a vibrator to achieve orgasm mainly because my husband of 21 yrs has always been a premature ejaculator. In the last many months I have noticed something going on in my vulva area. It seems very over stimulated to the point that I can't stop the muscles from pulsing or contacting if you will. If I concentrate on stopping the spasms they stop for a brief moment. My husband has noticed I may be a little swollen, and it causes the slightest irritation from what seems like rubbing on clothes and such. It is better in the morning when I first wake up, worse later in the day. I also have increased wetness, and it seems my urinary flow has become stop and go. I have seen two Drs. and both have said that everything looks normal, no infection, no UTI, but one said it may be due to nerve and tissue damage due to the vibrating movement of the vibrator. She is conferring with other Dr's at the moment as to the possibilities of this, but my sexual desire has increased, not decreased with this condition, although it is starting to be annoying and destructive to my well being. I also do NOT want to give up the vibrator. I am sort of stuck in high gear and need to come down a bit. Have you any knowledge of any conditions of this sort? Thanks

Answer: Unless you are using a jackhammer as a vibrator, I doubt very much your vibrator is the cause of your symptoms. There are women who have been using a vibrator for longer periods of time than you that have not experienced any ill affects. On the other hand, going without orgasm can lead to medical concerns, because of the unreleased muscular tension and blood engorgement, and decreased mental well being.

It sounds like your problem may have to do with your pelvic muscles. They are either in spasm or have lost their muscles tone. Slip a finger inside your vagina and/or anus and see if you can feel your pelvic muscles pulsing. If they are, then they are likely the cause of your symptoms.

The solution then may be Kegel exercises. Use your fingers to massage your vagina, and perhaps your anus; as they share the same pelvic muscles. If orgasm causes pain or discomfort the muscles may be too tight, in spasm, and you should learn to relax them. You do this by doing Kegels, but concentrate on relaxing after tightening, versus the other way around. If you don't have good muscle tone, relaxing them could be difficult, because the muscle are straining to hold your pelvic organs in place. You can also stretch the muscles slowly by inserting more fingers or larger objects. Do this using plenty of lubrication and care.

You may need to consult a physical therapist who has experience working with the pelvic muscles. You could have muscles that are in spasm, or that have lost their muscle tone. The symptoms, when viewed together, possibly indicate a "pelvic" issue rather than a gynecological or sexual one.

There are many women who experience an increased sex drive later in life versus when they are younger. This is because of their ever-changing hormone levels. Perhaps your testosterone is not being suppressed as much by your estrogen, since its level is likely decreasing, as you are possibly nearing menopause.