Question: I am 17, I would like some assistance on how to last longer please. I find that when I masturbate I can last as long as I want (for the obvious reasons) but when I have sex with my girlfriend I never last more than a minute or two, this is lowering my self esteem and my confidence and I feel that I'm letting my girlfriend down by not performing as good as I could for her. I think part of the problem is that she is very tight. This is resulting in my girlfriend thinking that she is the problem, she thinks I am not turned on by her. When in fact it is quite the opposite, I'm turned on too much by her. What can I do ???

Answer: The thing to keep in mind is that even if you did not ejaculate for an hour during vaginal intercourse, your girlfriend probably would not have an orgasm. She may not enjoy vaginal stimulation no matter what you do. The majority of women require clitoral stimulation if they are to experience orgasm. If you are concerned about giving your girlfriend pleasure, then orally or manually stimulate her vulva and clitoris to orgasm prior to intercourse. Make sure you take care of her needs before your own, as least on occasion.

Your ejaculating so soon is only a problem if that is all you do with your partner. If sex is over after you have had your orgasm, then it is a problem.

Tell your girlfriend what you told me concerning why you do ejaculate so soon. I am sure she would like to know why, so she is not left guessing.

If she wants to experience more vaginal stimulation, use your fingers. Make sure your fingernails are trimmed and smooth, and that they and your hands are clean. Then, starting with one finger, caress and massage her vaginal walls. Do not just thrust in and out. When her vagina relaxes and opens, switch to two fingers, and so on. Doing this will help relax her pelvic muscles so that she will not be so tight. Teach her how to do Kegels; search this website to learn more about these.

Buy some water-based lubricant like KY Jelly and use condom(s) to decrease the sensitivity of your penis during intercourse. Masturbate to orgasm together before you have intercourse to help relieve some of the sexual excitement.

Finally, do not make the sole reason or purpose of sex, vaginal intercourse. On occasion, make her the center of attention. Focus on her sexual pleasure.