Question: My boyfriend says that he can feel my (female) ejaculation enter his penis and exit his penis during sex. He is now afraid to have intercourse with me because he does not know how a female ejaculation will effect his penis. My question is can a female ejaculate in a male's penis and if so is this harmful to the man?
Answer: Since your ejaculate exits your body through your urethra I am not exactly sure how it is getting into your vagina and then into his penis. Your vagina is likely conforming to the shape of his penis, and while some fluid may enter your vagina, a large quantity couldn't. Even if your ejaculate wasn't or isn't entering your vagina, your normal vaginal lubrication would be present inside your vagina, and would also enter his penis, if his claim is true.
It seems to me that the liquid inside your vagina would tend to flow out of your vagina rather than enter the small and narrow opening of his penis. The liquid is going to follow the path of least resistance. If your vagina is particularly tight, the liquid would have a hard time entering your vagina in the first place.
For his claim to be true, when you stood up or rolled over after intercourse, liquid would have to being flowing out of your vagina, or at least a noticeable amount.
If you are already sharing body fluids, which you are since he obviously isn't wearing a condom, then your ejaculate isn't anymore harmful to him than your vaginal lubrication, or worst case, your urine, which isn't harmful either, if you are healthy.
I have a hard time believing your boyfriend's experience, but you can either ask him to use a condom, or you can get on top so your ejaculate flows down and away from your vagina, or you can have him enter you from behind, doggy style, and accomplish the same.
Why is acceptable for him to ejaculate into you, but your can't ejaculate on or into him? You are already sharing body fluids, so your body is no more harmful to his than his is to yours.
It sounds like he needs to read my article about female ejaculation:
Here is a link to other questions and answers about female ejaculation:
Question Part 1: Well, a year ago I finally got my problem solved, and I want to thank you for the information anyway, because it was in some way helpful.
First of all, I though it could be a yeast infection, as I told you, I had prior to that some pains on my clitoris because of that, but then it disappeared, but not during this particular occurrence, so I was getting different treatments for yeast during all this last year. I tried natural things as tea tree oil, eating less sugar, many things, and later I was using also a medicine called Blastoestimulina, that seemed to make some of the symptoms better, but did not cure all my symptoms, and then, even when I had got better, if I had pressure or stimulation over the zone, it went hurting again. As I had some vaginal symptoms of yeast, I believed all this time that my clitoral problem was a recurrent yeast infection.
But then, recently I tried some aloe vera (it must be pure, at least 99% and without alcohol) on the clitoris to fight against the yeast, and days later, when I saw the same problem was still present, I began to watch more carefully my clitoral hood, inspecting it as far as I could retract it.
And then, maybe thanks to the lubrication of the aloe vera, I could begin to see where the problem was. I had some pubic hairs (maybe coming from one of the times I cut my hair) trapped and hidden under my clitoral hood, just all along the clitoris and around it. These hairs had an appearance of being a little dirty, it was there maybe since it started to hurt me. Since the day I trimmed my pubic hair I had inspected my vulva many times, but never was able to see that, maybe it were too far up to be seen. If I had not discovered the hair, I could have ended with a big infection or something worse.
I know this thing that happened to me is an unusual experience, but I wanted to tell you just in case it could help someone else some day. I would advice all women with a clitoris that is hidden in the hood that if they feel pain, look carefully under their hoods for not only smegma, but also little pubic hairs or fabric fibres from their clothing could be trapped there, and be difficult to see. But even if a doctor is needed to inspect it, in women with our anatomy maybe this is the first thing that should be suspected when there is localized clitoral pain.
Now as a result I also learned a lot about how to take good care of my vulva, and I´ll continue keeping it more cared for than ever before, as I understand better how delicate and important it is. Thank for being there with a site full of great information.Answer Part 1: Thanks for the follow-up information, I will add it to your Q&A on the website.
A couple women have mentioned seeing tiny hairs growing out of the tissue on their hood, so it may not be pubic hair clippings.
qa_8/qa8_19.htm
qa_3.htm
qa_24.htm#6
Question Part 2: Thank you for the additional information. I suspected that also at the first moment, but when I removed the hair it came out easily with two pieces of hygienic [toilet] paper, and it doesn't appear to have a root in the tissue. But I'll be watching the hood in case it could be growing there, because then my clitoris could easily become painful again.
If this were the problem, could you speak on the web about how to solve it? As is a really fragile area with little surface, I don't know what can be done. Maybe there is some kind of laser or whatever that can be applied there? Even with tweezers could be really difficult to grasp with enough precision, and while the hair were growing and was too short to remove, it could also hurt and get infected, no?Answer Part 2: Unfortunately, I don't have have any additional suggestions on how to prevent and resolve this form of irritation that aren't already presented in the articles that address Clitoral Adhesions and Hygiene. This experience does demonstrate the need for women to closely examine their vulva on a regular basis, while retracting and rinsing under their clitoral hood to removed trapped body fluids and debris. When women visit their gynecologist they probably should ask their doctor to closely inspect their clitoris by retracting their clitoral hood, which they may not do otherwise, especially if she is experiencing a painful or irritated vulva or clitoris. I wouldn't recommend the forceful removal of hair that is growing under the clitoral hood, though electrolysis may be required if the hair causes irritation, though the irritation may be resolved simply by keeping the area lubricated with a petroleum based product.
Question: I am 30. I had a baby a year and a half ago. I had an iud put in about 6 months ago. About this time I noticed a strange extra fold of skin between my inner and outer labia. It is only on the right side and runs from about the middle of my inner labia to above the clitoris. I honestly don't know if it has always been there or not. But I do know it has gotten bigger in the last six months. There is no hardness, discoloration or extra sensitivity in this area. Also my right inner labia has always been a little bigger than my left side, but that also seems to be getting worse. I have tried to research this on the web but haven't found any answers as to whether it is normal or not. Thank you for help, not just with this question but for everything I use your site for!!!!
Answer: What you describe sounds like an "accessory labia."
Quoting Dr. Robert Latou Dickinson:
"Accessory Labia or Bridges
Starting from the middle of the outer aspect of a labium minus [inner labia], a wrinkled and pigmented fold is sometimes seen to cross the gully between the two labia to the majus [valley between inner and outer labia], on the inner surface of which it loses itself in its course diagonally forward and outward or directly forward. It may be one-sided or double. It may be located only on the inner aspect of the labium majus [outer labia] paralleling or duplicating the labium minus [inner labia]... These folds are found in 8 percent of my cases, left-sided enlargement preponderating [occurred more frequently] a little, as in the cases of the minora [inner labia] perhaps because of the use of the right hand. Bergh found them in one percent of 2,981 women, 10 on both sides, 6 on right side, 13 on left side. Running, not diagonally, but at right angles (sic) to the nymphae [inner labia], he counted 8 double and 25 left-sided ridges."
The illustrations Dickinson provides shows exactly what you describe, and were present in girls aged 15, and mentions their presence at the age of 12.
I mention in the article about the anatomy of the vulva that changes in the vulva are normal during pregnancy, and as a result of vaginal delivery, and some of these changes are permanent. Plastic surgeons are offering "corrective surgery," which means some women are concerned about these changes and desire their prior, more youthful (i.e. smaller labia),
appearance once again.
Question: I'm 13 years old and I have been masturbating for about 3 months now. I masturbate to get an orgasm and I almost always do. I masturbate my using the back of an electric toothbrush because it seems to be the only thing that gets me to an orgasm. I've tried many things but this is the only thing that works. Ever since I've started masturbating from the first time that I've gotten an orgasm they've only last about 5 seconds and then they're gone. What can I do to make my orgasms long?!?!
Answer: Please see the information linked to below:
qa_7/qa7_13.htm
fant_indx.htm
You can learn more about how your body and mind work together from the information linked to below:
tips.htm
nerves_1.htm
Question Part 1: I'm 16 years old and recently got concerned about the size of my labia minora, I went to the doctors and he said everything seemed OK, but there is an abnormality with my clitoris, as apparently it has come out of its hood/cover thing, as a result of masturbation. Is this a problem and will it cause further damage?
Any information you can give will be greatly appreciated.
Answer Part 1: I am not sure I understand your concern, as you should be able to retract the hood so you can see the clitoral glans. If you have a short clitoral hood that doesn't cover your clitoral glans, that has absolutely nothing to do with masturbation, only genetics. If your hood has retracted and is now stuck behind the glans, then applying lubrication and massaging the hood should allow it to slip back into place. Regular masturbation would help loosen the hood so this doesn't occur in the future. I suspect you either misunderstood the doctor, or your doctor isn't educated about female sexual anatomy and sexuality.
You can see photos of normal vulva in the Body Image section of the website linked to below:
body_indx.htm
The article about Hygiene may provide some useful information about what is normal, and what is necessary to care for your vulva.hygiene.htm
Related Q&As:Question Part 2: I read the questions you sent and the first one was the most relevant. It was the one that explained that the change in shape of that area could be due to extreme and very regular masturbation. I think that this is what I've done. There is some form of a covering over the clitoris but it is not really as safe as I imagined.
When I went to see the doctor, I went primarily because of what I believed was a deformation 'down there' but when he checked it out he said it was a 'normal variation', and them commented on the position of my clitoris bit by saying I was 'greedy'. He asked if I masturbate and I said yes. So I assume that by saying 'greedy' he's saying that I've done it too frequently and now I have alien bits. Great.
Why the hell wasn't I educated about female bits as a child, it's a joke- I literally only discovered that I should have a labia minora last week when I went desperately searching through encyclopedias, who, as you say only show the more 'uniform' variation, which worried me even more.
And now I haven't done anything down there for ages now, in fear I'll cause even more damage.
The reason for all my worry now is the haunting thought that I've somehow made my clitoris distend from where it should be, making it more prominent in that area. This movement of the clitoris accompanied with what I believe to be a hood that isn't right makes me worry that there could be some damage done to it. And the last part I want damage done to is that bit, believe me.
Answer Part 2: I doubt the shape of your vulvar structures are the result of your masturbation technique and frequency, but rather heredity and the hormonal changes associated with puberty. Large genital structures are common even among women who don't masturbate at all.
Your doctor made a totally inappropriate comment, and the truth is you really don't know what he meant, you are allowing your imagination and body image take advantage of you. Instead of worrying about the shape of your vulva you should simply find a better doctor.The doctor's comment, while inappropriate and misleading, may simply have meant your vulva was well developed and opened like a flower when you placed your legs in the stirrups. It may have been meant as a compliment rather than something negative or obscene.
The Q&As linked to below address your concerns.qa_2/qa2_14.htm
qa_5/qa5_2.htm
I recommend exploring your masturbation activities once again and enjoying the pleasures your body can give you.Question Part 3: Thank you so much for your help. You've given me confidence in my body image that I never could never have gotten and information that is invaluable. Without your site I would have never learnt the things that really I should have learnt a long time ago. I'm going to see another doctor instead of the other one.
I've no doubt that you provide such valuable advice to many others.
P. S. What are your views on labiaplasty?Answer Part 3: To get an idea of my views on the subject of labiaplasty/labioplasty please see the following articles.
c_size.htm
qa_11.htm#8
Question Part 1: I just want to know.. is this normal?
Answer Part 1: I don't see anything that is obviously abnormal. Is there something about the appearance of your vulva that you are concerned about?
Question Part 2: Actually yes. Inside the vagina, I can obviously feel a small piece of flesh. It's in between the urethral opening and the vagina. Is it possible that the flesh might be a cyst? Or is it normal? I also went through several diagrams of a woman's vulva area, however, am still concerned about the "flesh". Can you please help me?
Answer Part 2: Bumps and lumps in this area usually correspond to the female prostate gland, and/or the urethral meatus. They are perhaps most obvious in the images included in the article linked to below:
loc_vag.htm
They shouldn't be a reason for concern unless they are new, are becoming larger, or cause discomfort or pain.
The female prostate gland is address in the article linked to below:
ejacula.htmHer Follow-up : :) Thank you very very much.. You have been such a great help. Now I know that "mine" is normal and that there's nothing to worry about. Hope we'll keep in touch.. Thank you again.
Question: I was wondering if I can get a sore throat if I take my partner's penis too deep into my throat. I can feel it rubbing the back of my throat. If I go slowly and he doesn't move too much I can do this comfortably during the act, but a few days later I've noticed a sore throat. I don't know if this is just coincidence (we have had wet muggy weather where I live and I've been sleeping with the window open) or if it is related to what he and I have been doing. We used to have oral sex somewhat often but I think I've only been putting it in real deep recently.
Answer: I would presume so, because frictional irritation is a possibility, just as with vaginal intercourse. This would occur if he was too large for your throat, your mouth and his penis were dry, or the angle of his penis was wrong. Performing deep throat is an advanced sexual skill that not everyone can accomplish, and takes practice to become good at. Continue to go slow, so you don't hurt yourself or your partner. I don't believe a minor sore throat is anything to worry about, as long as it goes away with a day, as what you describe shouldn't result in much irritation. You may need to acquire a dildo or other suitable object of appropriate size and shape to practice with.
Question: My partner and I want to experiment with female ejaculation, but she just found out that she's pregnant, and we were wondering if it would be a bad idea while she was pregnant, or should we just wait until the babies are born.
Answer: I don't see why you can't explore female ejaculation during pregnancy, as no unusual sexual techniques or positions are required. You will simply be stimulating the front wall of her vagina, which shouldn't involve anything more than gentle rubbing, massaging, or caressing. If she experiences discomfort then you are using too much pressure, which is bad regardless of whether she is pregnant.
Related Information:
Question: I guess one could say I am 42 and still a virgin or sorts. I have been married, but yet never experienced anything like on this website. My ex husband never tried to please me and didn't do much to please himself either. We always did the strict missionary position. One time I was allowed on top and it was the best to this point but still no orgasm. I have 2 children and as married 10 years. One would think I would have had at least one or two orgasms.
I come from a very strict, some call it almost biblical, background. We were not allowed to wear shorts or pants, go to the movies, eat out on Sundays, drink, smoke or have sex or even think about masturbation. Once I caught myself rubbing between my legs and it felt good. my mom caught me and said I need to stop that. I did and didn't think about it again for a long time. I was married at 25 and a virgin. My husband wasn't sure how to please a woman and to this day he probably still doesn't. I always felt alone and angry. To this day I wonder if we had known what to do would it have been any different for us? I've never had anyone to talk to about it.
I have tried everything I can think of, except asking a male friend for help. I have tried the self techniques. I get to a certain point and can't let go. Its as if I need someone to force me over that point. I am afraid of the pain I associated with intercourse. I have tried relaxing. My children are out of town during the summer and it is wonderful to a point but I don't know where to go. I thought a toy for the bathtub might help but not sure where to go with that.
I fantasize about asking my neighbor, who is handsome, single, built with a six pack, and looks great without his shirt on if he could help me out with a problem I have but I don't know him that well and, I am embarrassed. I guess it would be easier to ask a stranger. I want to go ring his doorbell wearing nothing but a dress (nothing on under it), and ask him if he can help me with a problem. When I tell him of my problem he could say one of two things..let me know when you are ready or no..I cant help you with that. Of course I would be ready then...
You see, I can fantasize all I want but acting on the fantasy is the problem. Confidence is another. I am 42 ..how do I explain to a 28 year old man that I don't know, that I need help reaching orgasm. No kissing or extra touching required but would help....no strings...
I am beginning to think I will never experience it and I hear it is a wonderful thing. Please, advice on what to do or who to talk to. I am thinking about seeing an all over body massage like the one I read about on this website. Is that really true?Answer: A 28 year old man may expect a 42 year old woman to show him the ropes, and he wont know what you want and need until you show him, or you figure it out together. Without knowing how much he knows about female sexuality, it is impossible to know if he can fulfill your needs, perhaps he has been relying on his good looks rather than his sexual skills. In bad he may be no different than your ex-husband.
On the other hand, your desire for him, and perhaps his willingness to do things your ex-husband wouldn't, may result in a rewarding experience. I would recommend telling him the truth prior to sex, so you aren't treated as an experienced woman when you are closer to being a virgin in many ways.
I don't recommend the use of gentle force or surrender of control in a relationship without trust, and then only as a last resort.I recommend exploring sex on your own now, while still fantasizing about this man, and perhaps pursing a platonic relationship with him in the beginning, so you feel comfortable communicating to him about your experience, or lack of. Your experience isn't as unusual as you may expect, and he may be flattered if an older woman seeks his guidance, but we still don't know if he knows much about female sexuality.
I recommend learning how to make love to yourself prior to exploring partnered sex. Buy a muscle massager, vibrator, hand held massaging shower head, and/or dildo to explore different ways of stimulating yourself to orgasm. You need to discover why intercourse has been painful in the past, and discover a solution. Hopefully, it was simply a matter of you and your ex-husband doing something incorrectly, or a lack of sexual arousal and lubrication.
You have to figure out why you are afraid to surrender control, or simply give yourself permission to do so. Having a partner who gives you permission to let go, to be sexual, may be the solution, but in general, preorgasmic women are advised to explore sex alone when trying to have their first orgasm.
If intimacy was absent in your marriage and family life then getting full body massages may be a rewarding experience. If you are wanting a sensual or sexual massage I am not sure they are readily accessible. One couple I worked with said they had met a couple men prior to me who simply thought they were going to have sex, not provide an actual relaxing massage that included sexual stimulation.
The information linked to below may be of help:
virgin2.htm#pain1
virgin3.htm#pain2
tips.htm
qa_32.htm#7
qa_22.htm#1
qa_index_puberty.htm
Question: I was basically just wondering if there is such a thing as a girl who can not orgasm? And if there is, do they not experience arousal at all, or do they experience it but never manage to climax? if they do experience the arousal do you think its actually just a myth that they can not climax, and that they just require more stimulation than others? or perhaps that this person is asexual, which is why they do not climax, because they aren't actually turned on by the situation?
Sorry for all the questions, very curious mind!
Any sort of insight you could give I would be interested to know!
And thank you for your website, it has inspired me and taught me many interesting things!
Answer: The article linked to below describes the different types of sexual difficulties that women face, as it relates to arousal and orgasm.
satisfact.htm
We don't know why women do not experience orgasm, as we simply know little about female sexuality. We don't know the cause of the barrier to orgasm that they experience, so we cannot say whether they simply need more stimulation, or have a medical or psychological problem that prevents orgasm.
Reading through the Q&A section would allow you to learn about all the different types of experiences women have when faced with impaired arousal and orgasmic responses.
