Question: I'm 15 and am really embarrassed by a few things. First I can't talk to my parents about "personal" things. I'm also afraid to "finger" down there. It's very scary to me. Also I really don't know how to wash down there. I'm afraid to. So I was hoping you could help me, at least you could help me somewhat, since no one here can.
Answer: Since your parents have not openly discussed sex with you since birth, it can be kind of hard to start doing it at the age of fifteen. You might simply approach one of your parents and say, "I am kind of embarrassed to say this, but I want to talk to you about sex." Keep in mind they are likely just as embarrassed as you are, and do not know how to discuss sexual issues, even with other adults. If they do not want to discuss sex, you will just have to respect their wishes, and seek information elsewhere, like on the web.
Washing your vulva is pretty simple actually. When you bathe or shower, simply run your fingers between the folds of your vulva. There is no need to use soap, they can irritate the delicate mucous membranes there. Simply allow your fingers to explore and feel what is there. Your vagina takes care of itself, so it is best to leave it alone.
You will also want to get a mirror and have a close look at your vulva. Identify all the different parts. Use the Q&A and anatomy sections as a guide. Once you know where things are, you will have a better idea as how to bathe your vulva, and masturbate.
When you have the mirror out, get some lotion, be careful of scents and perfumes, but hand lotion will likely work, and very gently rub some into your vulva. You can also use other products as a lubricant, some of these are likely readily available in your home. Take your time and allow your fingers to explore. Try to discover what feels good to touch, and what type of touch feels best. Stay relaxed and have fun. If your pubic hair is thick, consider trimming it around the outer lips, so you will be able to see things more easily; there is no need to shave. Try to spend 15-20 minutes, 2-3 times per week, doing this, perhaps at bedtime or when you bathe.
Fingering often means inserting a finger into your vagina, but it can also mean caressing the vulva. Lubricate a single finger with a water base lubricant, or saliva, and see if it will slip into your vagina; after locating it with the mirror. If your hymen is still intact, it should still allow a single finger to enter. Once you insert your finger, simply feel around and explore. Your vaginal walls will feel bumpy, as there are many small folds of skin. Experiment with moving your finger around, and in and out. Go slow and see what feels good. For the majority of women, their vagina is less sensitive to touch and stimulation than their clitoris.