Questions and Answers About Female Sexuality Volume 11: Questions 111-120

Question: Hello. I am 15 years old and I'm still not getting a regular period. I get a period maybe once every 6 months. Is there anything wrong? Is there a chance I may not be able to have children later on in life? Please help.

Answer: I am not a doctor so I can only provide general information not a medical diagnosis.

Missed and delayed periods are normal during puberty and your teen years. I am not sure at what point it becomes a reason for concern, I mean a medical concern. I am sure your concern in normal and is to be expected. If you are by chance under weight or participate in strenuous exercise or sports this may suppress menstruation. Gymnast who are trying to stay thin, dancers, and long distance runners often find these activities influence and adversely affect their menstrual health. Stress in your life could also influence your menstrual cycle. Having a period indicates you aren't pregnant so women who are sexually active often like having a regular period so they know they aren't pregnant. Some women use their birth control pills or prescription medication in a manner that does not allow menstruation to occur, as they don't want to experience menstruation.

The medical term for what you are experiencing is amenorrhea. Since you have experienced one or more prior menstrual periods you have what is called secondary amenorrhea. I have provided links to additional information:

Medline Plus: Amenorrhea - Primary

Medline Plus: Secondary Amenorrhea

Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago: Amenorrhea, No Menstru al Periods

Medscape: Amenorrhea

Encyclopedia of Children's Health: Amenorrhea

I don't believe this indicates your level of fertility. You can become pregnant even if you don't have a regular period. Irregular periods may result in anxiety if you fear becoming pregnant and don't have regular menstrual periods.

Question: I have been growing more and more needy of masturbation lately. I'm loud when I do it, and I often come close to getting caught. Normally I have time to do it when nobody else is around, but sometimes I can't be alone. I'm quite loud when I masturbate.

I had gone 5 days without, due to lack of privacy, and I really was feeling stressed. So, I thought that when my dad went to the store, I could masturbate. Well, he made me go with him. I argued and argued to stay, but he wouldn't let me. I couldn't tell him why I wanted to. How can I get it across that I need time alone, without revealing why? I really want to masturbate right now, but I can't. The house is too small, and he will hear me.

Answer: Your need to masturbate is normal, as is your vocalization. Have you tried it in the shower or with the radio on, with the door locked? How about taking a radio into the bathroom, but keep it away from water, so you have a private space with extra background noise?

If you try to lie to your dad or are vague he may become suspicious resulting in even less privacy. He may wonder what you are trying to hide, boys or drugs. Simply saying you need more privacy could backfire, privacy to do what? He may be relieved to know you only wanted to masturbate.

As difficult as it may be you may want to write him a letter explaining why you didn't want to go to the store with him. That it wasn't that you had something to hide from him or that you don't want to spend time with him. Tell him of your need for privacy and girl time. You don't have to say you are noisy. Perhaps you can suggest a schedule or a signal when you need private time. An unusual idea I know, but better than causing further friction or distrust between you.

I don't know your father or his feelings about your sexuality, or female sexuality in general. He may be totally cool with it and be happy to know you masturbate, or he could be a total psycho about it. You are the best judge of his feelings about such things. If he has talked to you about puberty and sex he may be more okay with it than if he has not, but he may be equally embarrassed to bring up the subject. I would like to believe modern dads know a little about their teenage daughter's sexuality but the sad fact is that most people are still clueless. Ideally, he would have talked to you years ago about masturbation and gave you permission and encouraged you to do it. You could send your father a link to my website before you give him the letter, or at the same time, so he has access to information on female sexuality.

If you should get caught, remember you aren't doing anything wrong, its normal and healthy, are doing what most of your peers are and should be doing, and your father does it too. Your mother more than likely did it at your age too.

If you have a close female friend, perhaps she can arrange private time at her house for you.

Question: I am 5 weeks post subtotal hysterectomy (kept ovaries and cervix) and starting to feel interested in sex again! Been told nothing in the vagina for 6-8 weeks to allow internal wound to heal. Got a bit carried away a couple of days ago with my partner and got to orgasm with gentle clitoral stimulation but had some pain from cervix during orgasm so will leave this a couple of weeks before I try that again. After several long term but unfortunate relationships, I have been with my current partner (female) for 6 months, I adore her and at the age of 40 am really enjoying sex for the first time! Just the week before surgery I ejaculated from G-Spot stimulation, first time ever, had no idea I could do that, we were amazed and very pleased. I'm so hoping that the hysterectomy won't have altered my ability to do this, but it's not the sort of thing I feel I can ask my Dr. I know a lot of women find penetration painful after hysterectomy, but I'm lucky there as dildos etc don't appeal to me, but my girlfriends fingers do!!

Answer: I am not a doctor so I can only provide general advice.

The side affects related to hysterectomy vary greatly from one woman to the next. Since your ovaries were not removed, luckily, you will not experience a sudden surgical menopause. Your body will still be producing estrogens and androgens, which are equally important to your general and sexual health.

There is the possibility that damage to or interruptions in blood supply to your remaining internal and external organs has occurred, which would result in decreased physical arousal, blood engorgement, lubrication, and sensitivity. You would still experience sexual desire but would experience impaired arousal and orgasm. I don't know the likelihood of this occurring, but it is possible. Doctors only recently have considered the need to protect the blood supply and nerves to the remaining organs when removing the uterus.

The nerves to your G-Spot, female prostate gland, are the same as the ones to your cervix. Hopefully, since your cervix is intact the nerves to it are too. I have not heard mention of whether hysterectomy has adversely affected a woman's ability to ejaculate. Once a woman learns she can, it often or usually is easier to after that point. Emotional factors also play a part.

The emotional or psychological consequences will depend on how you view the surgery and its consequences. If the removal of your uterus saved your life or eliminated heavy bleeding or painful cramps then you may be very happy to have had it done. If the presence of your uterus was linked to your identity as a woman, with a monthly reminder of that fact, you may not be so happy. If you did or do not want children and didn't really need or want your uterus anymore then you may feel neutral about it.

The recommended wait time for sex often implies intercourse, penetration, but personal experiences vary. The advice I have seen in the past was to use common sense. Go slow and don't try to do everything you could do before surgery immediately following surgery; work up to it, as if you were a virgin again. Once you are healed then I don't know of any reason why you cannot enjoy vaginal penetration once again. The book I have on vaginal fisting, not that you are interested in this activity, gives very cautious advice. They basically say, consult your doctor, and personal experiences vary. Since your hormone levels should not change drastically your vaginal walls should still be elastic, lubrication probably wont change, and the skin should not become atrophic, that is return to their preadolescent state. Your vagina may be sore and less elastic but otherwise in full working order. Experimentation will determine if the nerves still work the same, but this may require some time to heal too.

The fact that you have participated in partnered sex again and was able to experience orgasm is a positive indication that things are still in working order. One can hope then that you can continue to explore and benefit from your newly found sexual pleasures.

If the internal pain continues please bring this to your doctor's attention, as it could indicate something like adhesions, or an incision that has not fully healed. If they ignore your concerns you may need to get a second opinion. Pain always indicates your body is unhappy about something that is happening to it, and injury may or has occurred.

Question: I've always been very sensitive (emotionally), and am easily excited, joyful, and saddened at the littlest things. It's been getting stronger with puberty.

You see, it has begun to mess up my masturbation.

Example: I will be playing with my nipples to arouse myself, when out of the corner of my eye I see my new shoes. I then think of myself as a small child, so innocent, just getting some new shoes and being so happy. I then feel guilty about the fact that before, I was imagining myself having sex. Then I won't be able to masturbate. Anything can set it off, stepstools, doors, barbells, candy, backpacks, toys, lamps, anything. It's become a real problem. I have to keep my eyes open, in case anyone walks in on me.

I'm not Christian, my parents have always permitted me to be sexual, to masturbate. But society has set that "innocent asexual child" thing in my mind. I'm 14, and people often confuse me for a 10-year-old (I think that's why the small child image is bothering).

How can I overcome this?

Answer: Being an emotional person is not a bad thing, it is better than holding your emotions in, which leads to emotional stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, our society does not teach us how to deal with or handle the emotions of others. We become uncomfortable if someone cries, even though crying is a normal emotional response. You don't have a problem, we do.

Puberty can be and is often an emotional roller-coaster for adolescent girls. They can be laughing one minute, crying the next, and then laughing again. Parents are often left bewildered and aren't sure what to do. What does she really want and mean? Why is she screaming at me one minute and want a hug the next? This often becomes a cyclic experience with each menstrual cycle, resulting in mood swings. Not a pleasant thought, but a common experience for young women. Your mother likely experiences it, and if your cycles are in sync, you may be more likely clash at certain times each cycle.

Do you appear to be ten because of your size and stature or because you don't have the outward indications of puberty? If you have developed breasts and pubic hair you may need to stand in front a mirror and admire these attributes and convince yourself that you are a young woman, not a little girl. Admire your breasts regardless of size, even if they are small and not obvious when you are dressed. While looking young now may be undesired, it will be valued later, not that that helps you feel better now. I don't recommend dressing in a manner that makes you look older or that emphasizes your changing body, as that often results in the wrong message being sent out, that you are a sexual or precocious ten year old rather than a teenager. You may attract attention you really don't want or are unprepared for.

Since your parents do permit you to masturbate then I recommend making them aware of your need for private or girl time. Make a sign for your bedroom door do that says, "Please Don't Disturb: I Need Girl Time". They may figure it out on their own or you may have to give them a hint, "A young woman has special needs you know." If you share a bedroom with siblings, use your parent's room or a bathroom as your private space. You might simply tell your mom you need privacy to masturbate; she should know from experience how true this is.

This will be one way of ensuring you don't have to worry about being interrupted, or that they will knock before entering. You can then feel better about closing your eyes. You can also go into the bathroom and lock the door. Sit on the toilet, floor, or climb into the shower or tub. Turn off
the lights and turn on the water to cut down on the possible distractions.

To help you focus on masturbating find something to focus your eyes on that sexually arouses you. Find some photos that arouse you or read some sexy books or websites, that are appropriate for your age of course. This may help with your wandering eyes and thoughts. You want to surround yourself in sexual images. You might also give your childhood memories an erotic twist. How can I use this object from my past to masturbate? What if you envision yourself as a sexual child rather than an asexual one?

If you have a lot of trouble staying focused, when masturbating and your daily activities you may have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyperactivity (ADHD). These are briefly mentioned on the page about female sexuality and disabilities.

Question: Here is my problem. It's about one month and a half that I have had breast ache (I'm 20 years old), not only when I'm expecting my period but also during the month (they hurt most when I touch them). I have searched my breasts for under skin pimples (or things like that) with my fingers but I have found nothing. It also seems to me that my breasts are a little more puffed-up. So what is it? Is it something bad or it's just a change?

Answer: Please see the information linked to below, I believe it will answer your question.

Symptoms of Fibrocystic Breast Disease

Question: I masturbate.. but I don't like doing it when my boyfriend is away.. as I feel lonely afterwards.. Needing hugged.? Why? And can I carry on masturbating whilst he away?

Also can you give me some good tips and methods to masturbate?

Answer: Others have written in to say they experience the same so you are not alone.

There probably is no substitute for physical intimacy. You can hug a pillow but it can't hug you back. About all you can do is acknowledge your need for intimacy and talk to your boyfriend about it, to let him know how much you miss him. Engaging in phone or cyber sex with him may help some, as you will be sharing your sexual feelings and needs with him.

Try to make love to yourself, a hot bath or shower, rub lotion or oil into your body, curl up in a warm bed, and fantasize about making love to your boyfriend. If you feel sad and lonely during or afterwards it is okay to cry if you feel the need to.

You can buy a dildo and name it after your boyfriend and ask "him" to make love to you or f**k you, depending on your mood at the time. You can pretend your boyfriend is watching you masturbate.

If you are in need of physical intimacy try to find a parent or girlfriend who understands and knows the situation so you can cuddle up to or sleep with them. They don't need to know about sex or masturbation, only your need for intimacy and affection.

There are hundreds of shared masturbation techniques on the website.

Masturbation provides you with some control over your sexuality and gives you means of addressing your sexual needs and feelings. You should definitely masturbate if you feel a desire too. Your boyfriend is never going to be able to fulfill all your sexual needs, even if you are together all the time. Sometimes you simply need time to and for yourself to take care of things yourself. You are not cheating on your boyfriend by masturbating, as he is not there to address your needs, and even if he was, he may not be able to fulfill them every time. He probably masturbates without a second thought. Most women masturbate even when they have a partner, and masturbation is a big part of partnered sex for them and their partner.

Question: I know this question has 'kind of' been asked before, but the answers didn't really help much as the situation wasn't-or isn't at all similar. Anyway, I'll just get on with my question and hopefully you can help me out a little.

I've recently noticed some changes in my period that have been a cause for concern. When I was younger I kind of figured myself lucky. I got my period when I was 12, and from then on it has been relatively 'on schedule' - give or take a couple days. I'm going on 18 now, and it seems that recently the whole thing is going backwards!

The first time this happened was late August. Our family was going through a big transition - we were moving out of state and such (West VA, to be exact. bleh.) I had a boyfriend (yada yada yada, heard it all before) and of course during that first time I was completely shocked, and got it in my head that I was obviously pregnant because I had never missed a period before. I took two tests, two weeks apart from each other and both were negative. I figured I had just worried my self sick with stress and such, and after that my period came only a few days later. It was a big relief, and the ones after that were regular and basically on time.

Now it's been about four months later, and it's happened again. I'm not stressed (I think), but it's already two weeks late. I'm starting to wonder if I'm not sick.

I've heard of women who get their period and can still be pregnant, but I mean after three periods, two negative tests, and lack of any sickness or feeling of abnormality and stuff - tell me it's pretty much safe to rule that one out.?

Answer: Missed and delayed periods are a common subject of the questions I receive. A lot of things can influence a woman's menstrual cycle. Stress is a big factor. The stress of things like moving, changing schools, worrying about being pregnant, going to college, exploring sex and/or intercourse with a partner, finding new friends, and the like appear to cause it. I don't have the medical background and experience to give all the possible reasons, or to list all the possible medical causes. About all I can say is it is a common experience. When teens are having sex and parent's don't know there is increased anxiety, which makes for more anxiety and more missed periods. In some of the cases the young women shouldn't have been engaging in sexual activities that may result in pregnancy, as too much was at stake. Sometimes sex isn't worth the resulting anxiety.

If you haven't had partnered sex where there is the possibility of sperm came in contact with your body since the move it is very unlikely you are pregnant, and if you were, there would be more obvious signs than a missed period; tender breasts, beginning to show, changes in your vulva and breasts; changes in their skin color. You would probably have to be in denial not to know you were pregnant at this point if you were.

There a lot of possible reasons for your recent missed period, like the fear in the back of your mind that you might be pregnant even if you have a couple normal periods. If you had a regular healthy flow, not just spotting, you weren't pregnant at the time of those periods.

If you haven't had sex in four months then you aren't pregnant and need to accept that and move on. You probably don't want to engage in partnered sex with a boy until things settle down, if you rely on your periods to let you know you aren't pregnant. Otherwise the anxiety could be more of a factor than the possibility of pregnancy.

Right now, there could be medical problem, but it could be anything from weight loss or gain to changes in your diet and sleep patterns. Your menstrual cycle often indicates your level of general health and whether your body feels you should become pregnant. It simply may be summing up the situation and saying no. If there is the chance of pregnancy, a new sexual partner since the move, then time for a new pregnancy test. Otherwise try to work on getting into a set pattern and eating and sleeping as you did prior to the move. Don't engage in sex with a partner. Listen to your body, what is it saying beyond the missed period? Is a missed period or two a reason for concern in of themselves, no.

Here are some links that may help:

Palo Alto Medical Foundation: Missed Periods

Sister Zeus: Learning about our Menstrual ~ Fertility Cycles

Question: I am a plastic surgeon and I am getting increasing numbers of women requesting labioplasty. I want to be sure I understand the emotional and physical problems that large labia present for these women. I want to provide them the best possible care and I am hoping you can provide information to help me properly evaluate, educate and treat these patients. Also are you seeing complaints from women with complications following labioplasty, hymen restoration, or vaginoplasty.

Answer: I am not a medical professional so I am not sure the information I provide is of value to you. I am afraid I don't have the time to provide annotated references.

I am only aware of one occurrence of a major complication following labioplasty, but I don't know the details of that case. A woman in a Yahoo discussion group for women experiencing vulvar pain and vulvodynia said her chronic pain was the result of labioplasty. I don't know if the surgery was elective or a medical necessity. She posted messages there a couple years ago. There are very few journal articles that address the subject and I don't recall any of them providing contraindications.

Update 9/14/06: A visitor to the website shared the following experience.

"I thought I'd weighed the pros and cons on labia reduction surgery and opted for based on comfort to reduce size of somewhat large labia plus menopausal dryness. I also thought this procedure would make me more attractive to my husband of 18 years as things have gotten dull in the intimate part of our marriage. At the very moment before I was to go under anesthesia, it was determined to have the wedge method instead of cutting straight across. Since then, two plus weeks ago, the stitches on one side pulled out and now I have a "v" on my right labia, front to back. I am supposed to have this corrected tomorrow in office. The pain was brutal and I am afraid to go through this again. But as "post op" it is covered by my insurance. Part of me wants to go to a plastic surgeon for advice. I am lost here, but want to add, if I knew what I was going to feel from this I would have just realized that women do come in all shapes and sizes and most are beautiful just the way they are and just should have used a lot more lubricant."

Update 8/1/08 News Article: Designer Vaginas Blacklisted by Gynos

"Cosmetic surgery to "rejuvenate" the vagina has been blacklisted by Australian gynaecologists who say more women are being injured by the dangerous procedures.

"Top female sexual health specialists say they are seeing an increase in women with scarring, infections and altered sexual sensations after undergoing vaginal surgery.

"Most have had labioplasty operations, to change the external appearance of the vagina or, less commonly, to narrow the vagina or "amplify" the female G-spot.

"The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists has issued a position statement on the trend, labeling it dangerous, expensive and unwarranted.

"'The college is particularly concerned that such surgery may exploit vulnerable women,' the statement says.

"Dr Ted Weaver, chairman of the college's women's health committee, said there were now a number of clinics, mostly in Sydney and the Gold Coast, offering these treatments.

"Most of the operations cost at least $10,000, an "extraordinary amount of money", Dr Weaver said.

"'We feel these operations might prey on people with insecurities and fears who actually need psychological help,' he said.

"'They are also not very anatomically-based and have the potential to cause serious harm'.

"Many college members had treated patients with scarring, permanent disfigurement, infection and altered sexual sensations, some of whom required reconstructive surgery, he said.

"There was concern that women seeking the most common operation, the labioplasty, did not understand there was a huge variation in how women's external genitalia look.

"'In one case we heard of a man bringing in a Brazilian pornographic photo and saying: `Make my girlfriend look like this',' Dr Weaver said.

"'We don't think it is ethical behaviour to agree to do that.'

"G-spot augmentation, where collagen is injected into the vaginal wall to enhance sexual pleasure, was also controversial.

"'It is often not clear where the G-spot is or if it even exists at all in some women,' he said.

"'So the procedure is done without that being verified, often causing problems in sex.'

"Daniel Fleming, president of the Australasian College of Cosmetic Surgery, said the vast majority of people who undergo labia and vaginal surgery were "very happy" with the result.

"'If there's a problem (the gynaecologists) need to submit the evidence so we can find out why it's happening and if any particular group of doctors is implicated in the alleged increased complication rate," Dr Fleming said. '

The Sydney Morning Herald: $10,000 designer vagina op warning

Over the past few years popular women's magazines like Cosmopolitan have featured articles about cosmetic surgery for the vulva, as a means of sexual enhancement and improving self-esteem. This in part may explain the increased number of requests you receive for labioplasty. A young woman I know asked me if it was true that women were having this type of surgery done, as a male friend had told her about it, so it is a topic of discussion among some young adults.

Several plastic surgeons have created websites specifically about this type of surgery and they appear to specialize in it. If you enter "labioplasty" into a internet search engine their websites appear, and there are many more today than there was only a year or two ago. I gather it first became popular on the coasts, and may now be spreading across the nation. I believe in populations where breast augmentation is more common the surgery first gained popularity, i.e. California, Florida, and NYC. Women are getting one sexual attribute enlarged and another reduced, in an attempt to fulfill society's expectations of them, or so they believe.

Women likely believe, as a result of social conditioning, there is something innately wrong with their vulva. They are motivated then to fix it, to make it more acceptable to their partner, and themselves. In the past this meant douching and using feminine deodorant sprays, even though doctors routinely warned against their use. Today, women are frequently removing their pubic hair by shaving, waxing, or laser resulting in their vulva being more visible to themselves and their partner. As young girls most women likely never see the vulvas of adult women so they grow up believing adult vulvas look the same as theirs, only with hair. When puberty hits and their vulvar structures increase in size, as a result of hormonal influences, they believe there is something wrong with them, they are deformed, or have deformed themselves by masturbating. This is why I receive many questions on the subject, and is the motivation behind the article about clitoral and labial size, and the photo galleries featuring the vulva on my website. Teens and women want to be reassured they are normal. For most, seeing others like themselves is likely sufficient to help them feel better about their body, but for others they still see the sleek preadolescent vulva as the ideal. The social ideal that women are smooth skinned, no wrinkles, and symmetrical also serves as motivation. Large wrinkled unsymmetrical inner labia don't meet our social ideal of a woman, a youthful woman; the same ideals apply to their breasts. Women are judged on their appearance, and are willing or required to mold themselves into what others expect of them in order to receive approval. In addition, if their peers are doing something they don't want to be left out or behind.

Women are under social pressure to dress or undress in a certain way. With tiny swimsuits and thongs being popular women can rely on less fabric and pubic hair to conceal their vulva from others. Women's swimsuits, specifically the ads for them, and society, lead one to believe their is nothing between their legs, that the area is flat and featureless. As I mention on the website, society does not acknowledge that girls and women have external genitals. Many fashion models are underweight so they likely have less prominent pubic mounds and outer labia than most women. Having external genitals may present a problem if you don't believe you should have them, or fear others will be offended if they see them.

In regard to the wearing of tight clothing and the resulting irritation it causes their vulva, most women don't know the problem is their choice of clothing, not their body. They see other women wearing tight fitting clothing so they are led to believe their body must be the problem, and they are predisposed to believe this. They are also predisposed to be willing to change themselves to be as others expect them. Being in fashion is more important than their body and health. Most women don't know that historically women have worn dresses and skirts with little or nothing on underneath. Not until very recently in history did women wear form fitting clothing or undergarments. I mention this on my page about feminine hygiene, hoping to persuade women to change their style of dress rather than change or harm their body. Telling women this is may not be enough though. I know one young lady who says she prefers to wear skirts and dresses but I seldom see her wearing them.

While I don't endorse labioplasty I can certainly understand why women may be motivated to have the procedure done. It is much the same as breast augmentation. I have seen many examples of women with very nice breasts having them made larger, because they believe size is the only characteristic to consider. The women having their labia reshaped or reduced don't necessarily have large labia, in comparison to other women, or labia that are abnormally shaped.

How do you evaluate the women who request these procedures? How can you be sure they will benefit from the procedure and if she truly needs it? If a woman wants the procedure done for purely cosmetic reasons will she be honest about her motives or claim a medical motive? If she doesn't want to appear to be seeking a "cosmetic" procedure will she be motivated to be dishonest? Can you require gynecological and psychological evaluations beforehand? Gynecologist have routinely turned down women's requests for the procedure, as it wasn't medically necessary, or so I gathered from a couple accounts I have heard. Gynecologists likely see several instances of large labia a day with very few women reporting a problem, which doesn't mean they aren't a problem, only that the women are unwilling to say anything, as is often the case with gynecological concerns. I believe women are more likely to ask me about their concerns than their doctor.

If you want to provide the procedure, are willing to, then perhaps all you can do is provide prospective patients with a pamphlet that attempts to educate them about normal vulvar anatomy, and the normal range of size and shapes. You may want to refer them to websites such as mine that features photographs of the vulva so they can see for themselves. You would also want to advise them about the possible complications, without knowing if there are complications unique to this type of procedure. Ask them to review the information and then return in two weeks if they still seek the procedure. You can then discuss their wants and schedule the procedure.

I am aware of more than one woman reporting that their inner labia became pinched during vaginal intercourse but I don't know how common this experience is for women, regardless of the size of their inner labia. Is it a valid complaint or justification for a purely cosmetic procedure? I believe in some cases it is a valid complaint, but given the prevalence of large inner labia within the population I don't know that it is a common experience, or if the large labia are the primary or secondary cause. It could be a combination of factors.

Some women are seeking to have their clitoral hood trimmed or removed for cosmetic and sexual motives. While the clitoral hood is necessary protection for the exquisitely sensitive clitoral glans in many if not most women, it is hindrance to sexual pleasure and satisfaction for some. In a controlled study, one-third of the women who had the procedure performed reported they benefited from it, but two-thirds did not. If a patient seeks the procedure for sexual motives it would be beneficial to have her see a sex therapist for evaluation beforehand. There is simply a lot of misinformation out there about how a woman's body should and does work. If a woman can masturbate to orgasm then her body is in working order, and surgery may not be the solution to her dissatisfaction with partnered sex. Surgery should always be the last option in situations of sexual dissatisfaction. There isn't sufficient scientific data available to justify this procedure simply to increase sexual pleasure or performance. The rumored benefits are only rumors. Some of the women who write me would probably benefit from the procedure, but I recommend trimming the hood so the clitoral glans is normally covered but more easily exposed, or dividing the hood medially so the glans is normally concealed but easily exposed. For some women, if the glans cannot be directly stimulated during oral sex they feel nothing, but direct stimulation results in intense pain for others. The logistics of moving the hood out of the way is quite an obstacle for some women and their partners.

I am very opposed to invasive procedures involving the vulva and vagina. The medical community is only beginning to research and understand the structure and function of the female genitals and reproductive organs beneath the skin. If you don't know where the nerves are how can you avoid damaging them? Do you know how large and complex the clitoral structures are below the skin, and how close they lie to the vagina and urethra? Any incision into the vulva and vagina is done blindly, or so recent medical articles have stated, and I believe. Do these procedure truly work or are they a placebo?

We frequently seek quick fixes and for sexual issues facing women there seldom is one. There is no Viagra for women, and research indicates female sexuality is too complex for there to be a single solution.

I am not aware of complications from hymen restoration but it seems women would benefit more from easier access to their surgical removal rather than their restoration. Educating women about hymen, and the normal absence of hymen in virgins, may be a wise first step. The women wanting their hymen restored likely know nothing about hymens, knowing only the rumors they have heard. I know natural hymens sometimes result in chronic pain and irritation issues because of the nature of the tissues involved so tinkering with this area may not be wise.

Here are links to articles on my website that address some of the topics I mention above:

Size of Clitoris and Labia

A Photographic Guide to the Vulva

Photographs of the Vulva

The Hymen

Feminine Hygiene

Clitoral Adhesions

Links to websites of your peers:

Google Search: Doctor Labiaplasty

Question: I am 14 and have been masturbating since I was 5 and I was wondering where can I buy a vibrator or dildo? Cause it seems everywhere you have to be over 18?

Answer: It is likely illegal for you to buy items intended solely for sexual purposes, because of your age, but it is likely perfectly legal for you to go to your local store or pharmacy and buy a muscle massager or electric tooth brush. With a little imagination, a trip to your local children's toy store will result in you finding some of the other items you seek, and cost you a lot less money. If it wont break, is smooth, doesn't have any sharp edges, and wont trap body fluids then it is safe to use for vaginal penetration. Objects used for anal penetration should have some type of flared base so they don't accidentally slip inside.

Objects Women & Teens Use for Vaginal Stimulation and Masturbation

Question: I'm a 19 year old female and lately I've been very horny, and sometimes I find myself playing with myself, and when my boyfriend doesn't want to do it with me lately and I wonder maybe I don't turn him on like I use to when we first met

Answer: Other women your age have written to ask about their level of sexual desire, saying it too was intense, so you are not alone. A survey addressing female sexual desire indicates over 53% of women believe their level of desire is greater than that of their peers. Your desire and enjoyment of masturbation is therefore normal. Your boyfriend simply may experience less sexual desire than you. You need to speak to him about your concerns and feelings, to find out why he is less interested in sex. Hopefully he will be honest with you. If you no longer sexually arouse your partner that isn't your fault, or problem. People and their needs change with time. He simply may be stressed out by school or work. He may not want to engage in sexual intercourse or perform or receive oral sex, but may be more than willing to join you in your masturbation sessions. There is also a chance you are not a compatible couple, for several reasons, not just sexually, and are reluctant to acknowledge this fact.