Question: I cannot find my girlfriend's clitoris. Can you help me find it?

Answer: This too is a question I am frequently asked. It can be a bit difficult to find a woman's clitoris. This is because women's genitals come in thousands of different shapes and sizes. Each is unique. To make matters worse, there are clitorises that are very small and hidden under concealing folds of skin. There are even clitorises that you cannot see or feel. Many women also do not know where their clitoris is located or what it looks like since they have not been permitted or encouraged to examine their vulva. For these reasons, do not feel bad if you cannot find your girlfriend's clitoris, or your own, when you first go looking for it.

To find a woman's clitoris you first need access to it. This means a woman needs to undress and spread her legs comfortably apart. This is not something you should try to find by slipping your hand into her panties when she still has her pants on, in the backseat of a car. You also do not want to do be doing this in the dark. You will want plenty of light.

There are clitorises that are simply too small to be felt. Everything will simply feel soft, warm, and moist. If a woman's clitoris is erect, taking into consideration whether her clitoris has this characteristic, it is usually easier to find; since it will feel firm to your touch, not soft and spongy like the tissue that surrounds it. If what you feel is hard and does not move, you have likely found her pubic bone.

To find a woman's clitoris you first need to locate and identify her inner labia. This is because her clitoris is going to be located at the point where they meet, near the top of her genital cleft. Some inner labia merge at the bottom of the clitoral glans, at a point called the frenum, others merge with the hood, and others do both. It may not be possible to tell exactly where the inner labia end and the hood begins. There are women who have almost no inner labial tissue, so in some cases you may have to look for the clitoris itself. The annotated photographs shown below should help you identify the different structures.

The above photograph shows what a woman's vulva may look like when the labia, lips, are not spread open. In this case the woman has shaven her pubic area so things are easy to see. It is not necessary for a woman to trim or shave her pubic area, it is a matter of personal choice. A woman's clitoris is located at the top of her genital cleft. In this photograph you cannot actually see her clitoral glans, as is most often the case. You can only see the hood of her clitoris, under which is her clitoral glans and shaft. The hood normally conceals and protects the sensitive clitoral glans. Her inner labia project slightly beyond her outer labia, much less than in some cases.

The above four photographs show the vulva when the outer labia, labia majora, have been spread open. The inner labia and clitoral hood are clearly visible. In the top two photographs you can also see the clitoral glans. You will note the clitoris in all four cases is located just above where the inner labia meet, even if you cannot actually see the clitoral glans. In the first of four photographs the woman is exposing her clitoral glans by using her finger to pull back her hood. In the second photograph the hood fits more loosely, it stays retracted once it has been pulled back. In some cases you cannot retract the hood to see the clitoral glans. This is perhaps the case in the second two photographs. In some cases the hood extends an inch (2.5 cm) or more beyond the clitoral glans or the opening in the hood is too small to permit access to the clitoral glans. This is not normally a problem nor does it interfere with a woman's sexual pleasure. See the page about clitoral adhesions to learn more about this.

Some women have genitals that are well developed and all the structures are clearly defined and easily identifiable, as is the case in the above photograph. The clitoris and inner labia shown in this picture are above average in size. The four vulvas shown above it are what may be considered "average" in size. There is no advantage or disadvantage to having small, average, or large genital structures. They all work equally well. The only advantage to having large labia or clitorises is that they are usually easier to locate, but not necessarily easier to stimulate in a pleasurable manner.

The clitoral shaft is often times concealed by the hood and other surrounding structures. To locate it you will likely have to feel for it using your fingers. In some cases it helps if you start examining her clitoral area before she becomes sexually aroused. If you lightly grasp the hood and slide your fingers gently around you may feel the clitoral shaft becoming engorged with blood. In most cases this will be easy to detect, as the average clitoral shaft is about three quarters of an inch (1.9 cm) in length and a little less than one quarter of an inch (6 mm) in diameter. In some cases you may only notice what feels like a blood vessel filling with blood and in others the clitoral shaft may be too short to locate. The illustrations shown below demonstrate how to examine the clitoral shaft with your fingers.

From the book A New View of a Woman's Body
Copyright 1981, The Federation of Feminist Women's Health Centers
Illustrated By: Suzann Gage, L Ac, RNC, NP
ISBN 0-9629945-0-2 Pbk.

Take your time and go slow. Do not become discouraged if you cannot find her clitoris or the clitoral glans or shaft in the beginning. It may take time to be able to distinguish between the different structures. Even I have trouble determining what is what at first glance at times. All the folds of skin and variations in size and shape can be deceiving.

For more information on the anatomy of a woman's genitals see the sections on Anatomy, Clitoral and Labial Size, and Anatomy of the Vulva.