Question: My girlfriend complains frequently of a burning inside of her vaginal opening during coitus (sex). This is not prevalent during the first couple of minutes, but builds up in intensity so that she eventually has to stop. It is very painful for her, because I can see her face and hear her whimpers. I would merely like to know what would cause this. In the beginning she is highly wet/lubricated and later on she may lose a bit, but it's still comfortable sliding in/out. Maybe not for her? Other than the possible lubrication issue, is there anything else? Also if it is the lubrication issue, what should I do to remedy that? KY Jelly?
Answer: If your girlfriend experiences pain, please do not have intercourse with her until you discover the cause, and a solution. What is a physical problem will become a psychological one, and become harder to resolve.
There are numerous potential causes of pain during sexual intercourse, which are addressed in the article about virginity.
The article about locating the vagina and determining the cause of vaginal pain will assist you. The articles about the anatomy of the vulva and vagina may also be of assistance.
I recommend you explore her vulva and vagina with your fingers. Lubricate her vulva, vagina, and your fingers with a lubricant, using a generous amount. (The type of lubricant you use depends on several factors, which are addressed in the linked to article) Go slow and be very gentle. Stroke and caress, stimulate her clitoris. Look closely with the lights on. With a finger, determine if there are any areas inside her vagina that are sensitive or painful to touch. See how many fingers can you gently insert before she experiences discomfort, being very very gentle. See if you can insert two to three fingers, depending on the size of your fingers, without causing discomfort. The diameter of your fingers, inserted one at a time, should equal that of your penis. Ask her to flex her pelvic muscles, as if she wanted to stop the flow of urine from her bladder, and see if her vagina grasps your finger(s). Then ask her to relax, and her pelvic muscles should release your fingers. Perform this examination exercise, each time you engage in a sexual experience, over the course of a month, before attempting intercourse again. Take the pressure off her to have intercourse.
When you attempt intercourse again, use a generous amount of lubricant. Prepare her vagina with your fingers first. Get her body warmed up. Have her get on top. You should lie perfectly still. Have her control the speed and direction of insertion. Once your penis is fully inserted, have her rock back and forth, gently. Have her caress her clitoris, like she does when she masturbates. Do not attempt pelvic thrusts. See if she can have an orgasm. The idea it to get her body accustomed to a penis being inside of her. Do not be alarmed if you are not able to maintain an erection. You can have your orgasm from another form of stimulation, later in the sexual experience. When you have acquired some practice, have her slowly move up and down on your penis, just short stokes at first. If she feels pain, have her stop. She should then make sure her pelvic muscles are fully relaxed. If they are relaxed and she still feels pain, she may have a medical condition that requires a doctor's attention. You should not engage in intercourse, that results in pain or discomfort, until a solution is found.
Note: A visitor to the website mentioned experiencing pain during intercourse when she had a bladder infection. She advises women not to engage in sex until the infection had been cured, or the infection may become chronic.