The Hypothesis:
The information presented below forms the basis for a hypothesis. A hypothesis is an educated guess that is based on observation. In science one performs experiments and/or studies to generate data that when scientifically analyzed will prove or disprove the hypothesis. Unfortunately, I don't have the means for performing experiments and studies that will prove this hypothesis. The reader should take this into account when considering the advice and suggestions presented. Even if the hypothesis isn't valid I believe the reader will find the information presented of interest and value.
My hypothesis: Women who have developed an inordinate degree of control over micturition experience an increased incidence of anorgasmia. In medicine micturition describes the act of urination and anorgasmia describes the absence of orgasm. In layman's terms my hypothesis is: Women who have developed an excessive amount of control over their urinary activities are more likely to be unable to experience orgasm than those who have not.
The brain of the affected women believes the moment prior to orgasm is an inappropriate time to surrender control over their pelvic muscles, which is an action that in the past has always been associated with urination. On a conscious level the women aren't actively preventing urination or orgasm, but on a subconscious level their mind prevents anything and everything from happening, because the timing and situation are deemed inappropriate. This ultimately prevents the involuntary muscle contractions associated with orgasm.
The barrier to orgasm could be the result of a battle between a woman's learned desire for strict control over her bladder and urination, and her body's desire for orgasm. Her mind and body are battling for control over which may occur, the end result being that neither can. If this hypothesis were proven true, it may explain the “wall” many preorgasmic women experience when they are attempting to experience orgasm for the first time.
As of August 2011, early indications are the brain of some women, who experience sexual dissatisfaction/dysfunction, process sexual stimulation, visual and clitoral, differently than those who do not. Unfortunately, we do not know if the cause is genetic, organic, or environmental, and I believe treatment is just as elusive. This data may represent the first measured physical manifestation of the "wall." Read the associated medical article abstracts.
Observations that May Support the Hypothesis
Learned Urinary Control:
At birth and during infancy urination is an automatic reflex that occurs when the bladder becomes full. There is no conscious thought involved in the process. During this time period urination occurs automatically and we are not fearful of being punished, ridiculed, or ostracized for urinating at “inappropriate” times. This certainly isn't true for teenage girls and adult women who are exploring their sexuality and learning how to experience orgasm. By the time they deliberately make an attempt at experiencing orgasm they have learned it is appropriate to urinate in a very limited number of situations and settings. They have been raised to believe it isn't appropriate to urinate while masturbating and during partnered sex. More importantly, they believe to do so would result in their rejection, as a result of being viewed as immature and perhaps unclean by their peers and partner.
As adults, urination is most often under our voluntary control but past experiences and learning may result in “highly conditional voluntary control.” A common example of this are individuals who cannot urinate when others are watching or present in the room, they experience “pee shyness.” Their control over urination isn't truly voluntary, because the condition of no witnesses must first be met. For some, several conditions must be met prior to successful urination. Most women probably are not consciously aware of the restrictions placed on their daily urinary activities, and the impact this may have on their sexuality.
An Unspoken Connection:
In a survey on this website, seventy-eight percent of participants indicate vaginal stimulation results in an urge or desire to urinate, at varying degrees of frequency and intensity during their sexual activities. Forty percent of them, or 1 out of 3, said this sensation adversely affects their sexual experiences to some degree. In addition to these survey results, over the past ten years I have received several emails from teenage girls and adult women wanting to know why sexual stimulation results in a sensation they associate with the need to urinate, as they believe this experience is abnormal. This suggests that on a sensory and perceptive level there is a connection between sexual stimulation and urination in women.
Negative believes about urination would then adversely influence a woman's sexual experiences. For women who have learned urination is something to be kept hidden from others, and/or is an experience that should be totally isolated from their sexual experiences, this could present a major obstacle to sexual pleasure and orgasm. If your body is telling you to surrender control over your pelvic organs and you are fearful of urinating, are you likely to do so, and permit orgasm to occur? What if your mind and body cannot make a distinction between the sensations associated with orgasm and urination, as a result of never having experienced orgasm? If you only “know” what it feels like to urinate, and these same sensations occur during your sexual experiences, what impact will this have on your sexual experiences? What if the act of surrendering control over your pelvic organs has always been associated with urination?
Social Morality and Body Fluids:
In a second survey with over four thousand participants, approximately nine percent of the women said they have engaged in a sexual activity with a male partner during which urine played some role. This means that while women frequently experience the sensation of needing to urinate during their sexual experiences, urination actually occurs infrequently. Even then, it likely occurs only with their partner's prior consent, and on a purely voluntary basis, though I am sure “accidents” do occur. In comparison, approximately thirty-four percent of the women reported menstrual blood was present during some of their sexual activities with men. While menstruation and menses represent a significant social taboo, even more so than urine, it is a female body fluid that is nearly four times more likely to be present during a couple's sexual experiences. The likely reason being, women are expected to maintain voluntary control over urination, but are known not to have voluntary control over menstruation. She simply can't help herself if menstrual fluid is present, the same isn't true of urine. Another factor associated with urination would be the volume of liquid released by her body, and the perceived messiness that results, because couples generally sleep where they have sex.
In a third survey, forty-seven percent of the female participants said they have experienced female ejaculation while masturbating, thirty-six percent who have not would like too, and ten percent said they do not want to experience female ejaculation. While we don't know the actual reasons why these women do not want to experience female ejaculation, I believe it has to do with the resulting wetness and the believe that this wetness is caused by the release of urine from the bladder. Despite the pleasures reported to accompany female ejaculation, 1 out of 10 women see a negative or undesired consequence to this experience. What is the significance of women not wanting to have a pleasurable sexual experience because it involves the release of liquid from their body, and is this believe beneficial to their sexuality?
Impact of Incontinence on Female Sexuality:
Medical studies indicate the experience of incontinence has an adverse effect on female sexuality:
"Sexual dysfunction is a common condition in women complaining of pelvic floor disorders and in particular of urinary incontinence. In 1979, Sutherst and Brown reported that 43% of women affected by urinary incontinence referred that their urinary problems had adversely affected their sexual life. A high correlation between urinary incontinence and sexual disorders was then confirmed in the following years: in 1999, Laumann et al. demonstrated that female sexual dysfunction is more prevalent in women reporting urinary problems...However, despite the large number of questionnaires used to evaluate the effect of urinary incontinence on the quality of female sexual life, the finding of a dramatic impact caused by this disturbance, which can even lead to the complete abandon of sexual activity in a good proportion of cases, is consistent. In a recent study [2004], Salonia et al. reported that 46% of 216 women with lower urinary tract symptoms had concomitant sexual dysfunction, showing a significant relationship between urodynamic stress incontinence (USI) and loss of libido, urinary urge incontinence (UUI) and anorgasmia, and recurrent urinary tract infections and dyspareunia. In 2007, some of these results were confirmed by Coyne et al. in two reports showing that the overactive bladder (OAB), with or without UUI, affects women's sexual health, reducing sexual desire and ability to achieve orgasm." Source
"Women with sexual distress were also more likely to report sexual difficulty related to pelvic floor symptoms, including urinary incontinence with sexual activity (9% vs. 1.3%, P = 0.005), sexual avoidance due to vaginal prolapse (13.9% vs. 1%, P = 0.001), or sexual activity restriction due to fear of urinary incontinence (14.9% vs. 0.5%, P = 0.001). " Source
If the experience of releasing urine during a woman's sexual experiences can result in anorgasmia, can fear of releasing urine during sex have the same result? I would tend to believe this is certainly a possibility. If nothing else, this information confirms the notion that releasing urine during sex has real and/or perceived negative consequences for women. A shared experience related below also confirms this believe.
Environmental Factors:
It is reported that two percent of adult men have not experienced ejaculation and ten percent of adult women have not experienced orgasm [1]. Women are five times more likely to be unable to experience orgasm than men. If men and women have similar sexual and reproductive organs, as a result of a single divergent path of development, shouldn't they be equally orgasmic? Is there reason to believe newborn boys and girls have different orgasmic potentials? I don't believe they do, I believe some women "learn" to be preorgasmic, as a result of what they learn and experience as a child and adolescent. Girls and women are exposed to much more restrictive expectations and social mores than are men, especially where it concerns their body and sexuality. The cause of their impaired sexual response is more likely environmental in nature, i.e. learned through experience. The women aren't to blame, but rather their environment. This statement is not meant to suggest there aren't physical or biological causes for some cases of anorgasmia. At this time we simply know so little about female sexuality we are unable to diagnosis many of those biological causes.
Supporting information can be read here.
Social Expectations and the Restrictions They Place on Female Sexuality:
When we envision female sexual anatomy and function, we frequently limit our considerations to the current socially acceptable erogenous zones and sexual practices. In relatively recent American and Western European history (circa 1899-1957, Freud to Masters and Johnson), the vagina was considered the primary female erogenous zone, and penile/vaginal intercourse the only acceptable sexual activity for couples to participate in. Today, the clitoris is commonly considered the primary erogenous zone, with some fighting for a balance between these two believes. Others want to recognize an infinite number of potential erogenous zones, as there are women who are orgasmic only when something other than their clitoris and vagina are stimulated. By focusing on the vagina and clitoris we reduce a woman's sexual anatomy to these two organs, ignoring the fact these organs are only a small part of a woman's far reaching and complex bodily systems. Social expectation and morality can and does therefore alter and restrict female sexuality.
The Importance of Peer Approval:
Please allow me to relate a personal experience while first providing some necessary background information. When scuba diving your body is immersed in water that is colder than body temperature, which results in increased urinary output. Once your bladder fills you have three choices, end your dive prematurely so you can use a bathroom, delay urination until after the dive despite any discomfort or pain you may experience, or urinate in your wetsuit. Most divers simply urinate in their wetsuit, allowing the urine to be diluted and washed away by the surrounding water. Others elect to experience discomfort and pain, and I believe they are more often women than men. The reason being, they have been raised to believe it is inappropriate behavior for women, even if it is acceptable for men, or is simply unsanitary. What is the significance of women preferring to experience pain rather than “wet themselves,” and what affect will this belief have on their sexual activities, especially if those activities result in a desire or need to urinate?
A female friend described experiencing considerable discomfort as a result of delaying urination until after her dives in cold water. One day she asked a group of us, all men, how we were able to urinate in our wetsuits, as she wasn't able to do so. We simply explained we just let it happen, there wasn't a specific technique associated with the activity. Soon after this conversation she reported she had successfully urinated during the course of her dive, much to her relieve.
While this may sound like a strange and unusual conversation and experience, I believe it demonstrates a very important point. I believe the cause of her success wasn't our explanation of how to do it, as there is no real “technique,” but rather the experience of having several men tell her it was appropriate for her to do so. Perhaps it was simply our attitude, of it being no big deal, and not a cause for shame and embarrassment. Knowing that we were comfortable with the idea of her doing it, and that we wouldn't reject her for doing it, allowed her to forgo the experience of intense pain during her dives. This experience potentially demonstrates that some women may benefit simply from having permission to urinate during sex, regardless of whether they actually do.
In a related experience, a second woman jokingly said she hoped she wouldn't continue to urinate as soon as she felt the urge, as she had been doing during the course of a week of scuba diving. This would obviously create an embarrassing situation at work if she did. The comment was likely an expression of her real anxiety, as she was possibly fearful of the lasting consequences of such urinary freedom. This demonstrates that women are possibly fearful of urinating at inappropriate times if they voluntarily urinate during their daily activities. Since I have never heard of this woman's fears becoming a reality for anyone, I believe women can voluntarily surrender control over urination in one context while remaining in full control in other contexts, as is actually true of their current urinary habits.
The Connection Between Urination and Pleasure:
A small number of women have mentioned in their shared masturbation histories that urination was a pleasurable activity for them as a girl, and/or that urination played a role in their childhood masturbation activities. Prior to knowing about sex and their clitoris, some girls found pleasure in urinating. They didn't know why, they only knew the experience felt pleasurable, was enjoyable. As a result, they developed a habit of delaying urination until their bladder was overly full, urinating in a position that was pleasurable, or found pleasure in urinating on stuffed animals, cloths, and other absorbent materials. While the warmth of the urine and the stimulation caused by the wet material may have provided pleasurable sensations, it is also possible that the flow of urine out of their body was pleasurable in of itself. In addition, some girls and women have mistaken their urethral meatus, the area surrounding their urethral opening, for their clitoris, because it can be very sensitive to stimulation. These experiences demonstrate a potential link between pleasure and urination, and sex and urination. It is only through learned social morality that these girls and women later learned these early experiences and practices had a sexual connection, and were considered inappropriate and best kept hidden from others, if not ended altogether.
Next Section: Female Pelvic Anatomy: Everything Is Connected
