Question: My girlfriend doesn't become sexually aroused when I insert my fingers into her vagina, no matter how much I maneuver my fingers around, it just doesn't work. She doesn't become aroused when I rub her clitoris; she felt a little aroused but ticklish at the same time. How am I supposed to arouse her? She doesn't masturbate and hasn't masturbated before so she doesn't know what pleases her. Do you have any suggestions?

Answer: I am not surprised that she does not enjoy and is not aroused by stimulation of her vagina. Many women find their vagina to be insensitive, or is at least not highly sensitive, to stimulation, or that only certain areas are sensitive.

Most women require stimulation of their clitoris if they are to experience sexual arousal and orgasm. Do not go directly for the clitoris though; work you way towards it. Slowly caress, lick, and nibble her entire body prior to stimulating her vulva. Once you get to her vulva stimulate the outer surfaces and then very slowly work you way towards her clitoris. She should already be highly aroused "prior" to making contact with her clitoris. Apply a generous amount of lubricant to her clitoris. Forget about her vagina. With a single finger caress her clitoris, try very light, light, and then a tiny bit of pressure to see what she likes. Too light of a touch may tickle and too much pressure may hurt. Go slow, this is not a five minute activity, more like a thirty to sixty minute one.

As I mentioned prior, encourage, ask her, to caress her own vulva when you have sex with her. Ask her to apply some lubricant to her vulva. Ask her if it feels good when she does this. Tell her you enjoy watching her caress her vulva.