Question: My wife claims that her clitoris is (and always has been) completely insensitive, and experience seems to support her claim. Oral stimulation on it has no effect at all. Around it and on the walls of her vagina just cause intense tickling sensations which she can't bear for even a minute. Oral stimulation inside of her she finds so intense that she can't stand it more than a few seconds. She used to masturbate, by lying on her stomach and rubbing her public mound, and she doesn't seem to have any trouble having orgasms when we have sex, but she claims that the clitoris isn't involved, it's all inside. From descriptions I would guess that she's having G spot orgasms.

All in all I shouldn't complain, but I really enjoy giving oral sex, and it bothers me that what I do is either too much, or does nothing at all for her. Also, I'd love to have her experience a clitoral orgasm.

Is there any way that we could make her clitoris *more* sensitive?

Answer: Since she is orgasmic through intercourse and masturbation I would not be too eager or put a lot of effort into finding additional methods that work, at least without her being an active and willing participant. If she wants to explore, go for it.

The sensitivity of the clitoris is influenced by the hormone testosterone. She might consider having her testosterone level checked to see that it is not low. If it is, the doctor can prescribe a testosterone cream to apply directly to the clitoris, on a daily basis.

Her masturbation technique indicates her clitoris is likely sensitive to stimulation, perhaps intense pressure. Ask her to masturbate so you can watch. See if she will allow you to slip your hand between her pubic mound and whatever she presses against, her hand or bedding etc. See how much pressure she uses. Some women press really hard, which may indicate a clitoris that is less sensitive, or that she is accustomed to the pressure.

When you orally stimulate her vulva, first cover it with a layer of plastic wrap, like you use in the kitchen, first. This will act like a barrier and decrease the intensity of the stimulation.

If she is experiences a ticklish sensation, you may not be using enough pressure. Make contact with a single spot with your fingertip and then move your finger in slow circles. Move the skin, not your finger over the skin. Also try using lots of lubrication. This will create a barrier between your finger and her skin, if you use a thick lubricant.