Young women desire more orgasms during partnered sex, as half didn't experience orgasm during their most recent sexual experience.
This article is a summation of information presented on the website, and is intended for women who are able to masturbate to orgasm, and/or experience orgasm during partnered sex, during manual or oral stimulation. Preorgasmic women should consult resources available in the arousal and orgasm section.
There really is no secret to disclose, as this information has been readily available for at least forty years, if not the dawn of time. Perhaps because of Western morality, some seem reluctant to accept the truthfulness of this information. Preferring to believe old theories that were never substantiated, simply because they happen to conform with the believe that the only appropriate form of sexual interaction is penile-vaginal intercourse, for the purposes of procreation. For many if not most, they still define 'sex' as penile-vaginal intercourse, which is truly why young women don't experience as many orgasms as they and/or their partner desire.
For young women age 18-30, their primary sexual concern is their ability to experience orgasm, or rather their inability. For women age 18-26, 47% indicate they experience orgasm 'most or all the time' during partnered sex. For women age 16-19, they experience orgasm half the time during partnered sex. It is easy to see why young women may desire more orgasms, as the public message is they are or should be experiencing multiple orgasms and ejaculating at will.
Keep in mind, some women always experience orgasm while others never experience orgasm, but on average they experience orgasm one out of two partnered sexual experiences. What many don't realize is, it is therefore normal for young women not to experience orgasm during partnered sex. Many have an unrealistic expectation of themselves, or their partner, which results in unnecessary pressure and stress during sex, and post-coital anxiety. Where is the fun in that? It is important for young women and their partner not to over value her orgasms, but not to under value them either.
It is important to note that while young women indicate their primary sexual concern, for those who have a concern, is infrequent orgasm, their orgasms, in general, are of less concern to them than their partner's orgasms, and in the case of male partners, their partner's erections. Women frequently desire more orgasms to fulfill their partner's and society's expectations of them, not their own innate desires*. Fifty percent of women have faked orgasm, which indicates there is pressure on them to experience orgasm, from their partner, society, and even their peers. This means many women perceive a negative consequence to not experiencing orgasm. Though, some use faked-orgasms as an ill-advised means of communicating they want the sexual experience to end. Female orgasm has become the default green-light red-light of partnered sex.
Ladies, while I believe your friends are more honest with you about their sex lives than they are with their sexual partner, odds are, half of them fake orgasm on occasion, and only half of them experienced an orgasm during their most recent sexual experience with a partner. I believe there is sufficient social and peer pressure on women to motivate them to fake their enjoyment of sex, even when discussing it with their girlfriends and peers. Women should go by these statistics, rather than what their peers say, or they believe they hear their peers say. Whatever you do, don't believe the mass media, which is using sex, the promise of mind blowing sex, to sell merchandise, even to women, without actually providing the answer.
Contrary to what we may believe, and the media reports, the vast majority of young women are perfectly normal, and not dysfunctional, regardless of whether they experience orgasm. Once again, the media wants women to feel motivated to buy a product, in this case a product that will fix their sexuality.
"While men were more likely to orgasm with vaginal intercourse, women generally needed a wider variety of activities." Source - Medical Reference
When it works best, why not?
The sexual activity that is more likely to result in female orgasm is masturbation. Our survey indicates women experience orgasm 87% of the time when they masturbate. A survey conducted way back in 1953 indicates women experience orgasm 95% of the time during masturbation, but this survey may not have included inexperienced teenagers. Even though masturbation isn't 100% successful at producing orgasm, it fairs far better than any other sexual activity, by a wide margin.
Frequency of Orgasm During Partnered Sex:
Given that most of the activities listed above are considered "foreplay" we don't know if orgasm was attempted or expected, or if they were simply intended to be a warm-up to orgasm during intercourse, i.e. sex. We can certainly see why women would be dissatisfied with their frequency of orgasm, if they expect intercourse alone to result in orgasm. We can also see that women are far more likely to experience orgasm during masturbation, 87% of the time, versus partnered sex, 37-60% of the time**. If young women and their partner would like for her to experience orgasm, which sexual activity should they participate in?
This is the fact of the matter, and no matter what anyone says, or websites, books, and magazines state, this isn't going to change. This doesn't mean women are doomed to a life of solo sex and orgasms, it means their self stimulation technique works best, or actually, that they know how best to stimulate their body. Men are often left guessing, whereas the majority of women already know. Sometimes it is the little details, as in the above photograph, which shows a woman stimulating her vulva through her underwear, whereas men may be eager to get their partner naked.
The following table allows us to see that young teenage girls are just as likely to masturbate as engage in sexual intercourse, but women in their late teens and early twenties are more likely to participate in sexual intercourse than masturbate. But by the age of 29, 85% of women have engaged in masturbation. Would they, if there wasn't a perceived or physical need and benefit?
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Engage in Masturbation
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Engage in Intercourse
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48% by age 17
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49% by age 17
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66% by age 19
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77% by age 19
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77% by age 24
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92% by age 24
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85% by age 29
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Data Not Provided
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Data Source
Women don't necessarily need to be alone to experience orgasm. It simply means a woman controls the primary method(s) of stimulation, be it manual stimulation with her fingers, water spray in a tub, vibrations, or another form of sexual stimulation. Her partner can observe, enjoying the visual stimulation, while they perhaps masturbate along with her. They can cuddle her, or if desired, a woman can sit on her partner's penis, while she stimulates herself to orgasm. There are an unlimited number of methods of engaging in sex without having 'sex,' if we are open to the idea.
For girls age 14-17, 36% have masturbated within the past ninety-days, for women age 25-29 52% have within the past month. A third of teens masturbate on a regular basis, and half of young women do the same. While masturbation is the most proficient means of producing orgasm, many aren't engaging in the activity. We may say, "Of course not, women aren't innately sexual, so why would they." While this a common believe, our survey indicates 32% of girls experience sexual desire by the age of 10, 94% have by the age of 17. What are young women doing with this sexual desire***?
The survey quoted above also determined how many women have masturbated with their partner present. For girls age 14-17, 11% have masturbated with a partner within the past ninety-days, for women age 25-29 the percentage who have within the past month is 24%. While these are low percentages, the fact that women were asked if they had engaged in this activity indicates there is the expectation/presumption that they may have, potentially indicating the organizers of the survey see it as a 'normal' and/or common form of partnered sex. Twice as many women as teens wouldn't be engaging in this activity if there wasn't a need and/or benefit.
The next form of 'partnered sex' I recommend is vulva massage. While the above survey indicates this form of partnered sex is a little less proficient at producing orgasm than oral sex, I believe with proper technique it may prove an even more worthwhile activity. For starters, it more closely approximates the majority of women's masturbation technique, the massaging and/or stimulation of their clitoris, directly or indirectly. Oral sex requires a whole additional level of intimacy than the use of your hands, and women aren't as comfortable receiving oral sex as men.
The reasons why manual stimulation isn't as successful as it could be are, men tend to be too aggressive when stimulating a woman's vulva, treating it as they would their penis. They also use their fingers to have sex, i.e. to 'finger' or 'finger-fuck' their gal, when what she probably wants, at least as a warm-up, is a gentle genital massage.
"The most recent time I faked an orgasm, I was being fingered in the
most horrible way, to the point that it was starting to get painful. I
swear some guys must not realize that fingers are not the same as the
penis. The term “boner” is pretty misleading — there is no actual bone
in the penis, unlike in your fingers, which are quite boney, and
unfortunately are not nearly as wide. This guy was thrusting his fingers
straight in-and-out, hard, and because it was just straight thrusting, I
didn’t feel anything, except for his knuckles bruising my bits. The sad
thing was that I could see he was really into it — he was thrusting
with his hand as if it was his third leg — and he was getting himself
excited in the process. The really sad thing was that he wasn’t the
first guy to do this."
— ElaineB The Flat Hat September 3, 2012
The third recommended sexual activity is oral sex, for those who want to experience more female orgasms during partnered sex.
An added benefit to these forms of sexual interaction is there is zero chance of conception, as long as there is no penile-vaginal penetration and sperm doesn't come in contact with the vulva and inner thigh. The chances of STD transmission are either totally absent or can be eliminated if an appropriate barrier is used. Watching each other masturbate removes the risks of pregnancy and the spread of disease, and using surgical gloves during genital massage and plastic food wrap during oral sex removes the risk of the spread of disease, along with an absence of a risk of conceiving. Without the risk of pregnancy, some women may be able to relax more, enjoy sex more, and as a result experience orgasm more often.
Related Web Articles:
Why do we Cling on to Sex Myths that Just Aren't True?
Is Solo Sex the Key to the Female Orgasm?
Why is the Female Orgasm so Elusive?
When is a Woman More Likely to Fake It?
Orgasms Aren’t My Favorite Part of Sex
You Want To Give Me An Orgasm [When No One Ever Has]
Notes:
Note 1: Some women enjoy partnered sex even if orgasm isn't a possibility, because of the physical or psychological pleasure they experience, and/or the fulfillment of nonsexual motivators.
Note 2: If a couple is providing clitoral stimulation during vaginal-intercourse it is probably safe to assume female orgasm is a hoped for outcome, whereas this may not have been the case during the other sexual activities. While we don't always know why, women experience orgasm much more often when they masturbate than during their partnered activities. A woman may need to focus on herself, without any form of distraction or stimulation, if she is to experience orgasm. Or, her partner needs to learn how to provide the same stimulation as she does, during masturbation.
Note 3: Teens and women may not experience sexual desire as a primary motivating force, or they don't perceive their desire until they are engaged in another activity, perhaps partnered sex, at their partner's request. This may explain why, as a group, they don't masturbate as often as men. Even so, we have to wonder how women are releasing all their sexual energy, if they aren't experiencing orgasm during partnered sex, and aren't masturbating to orgasm either. As an added challenge, some aren't able to get the sexual response cycle rolling when they attempt self stimulation, for unknown reasons.
