Question: I am pretty sure I have a vaginal infection. And have for a little while, say just before my period two months ago (don't yell, please!). But I do not know how to approach anyone about it. I told my mom and she pretty much dismissed it, saying I needed to wash better etc. Well I tried that and nothing is working. I know I need to go to the doctor about it but am absolutely terrified of going. I don't want to have a vaginal examination, REALLY do not want to, I do not know what the doctor will say or do, but I don't want to get yelled at about not seeing a doctor sooner or looking after myself properly. The thing I am most scared of is that I know infections can travel upwards into the ovaries etc and make you infertile. I am so terrified of that. What if by being stupid and scared I cause myself to become infertile. How can I seriously tell my mom I need to go to the doctor when I do not want to go myself?  How do I tell someone when I am embarrassed and they are embarrassed.

Answer: Please see the page about Hygiene to get an understanding of how your body works and cares for itself. Your body will care for itself if permitted too. Washing your vulva frequently could actually be harmful and make things worse rather than better.

You should have a small amount of fluid that flows from your vagina daily that is clear to slightly yellowish in color. It will likely vary in consistency during your menstrual cycle from watery to sticky. It should have a scent that is distinct but pleasant, perhaps musky, but not fishy or yeasty. The glands of the vulva produce a white substance called sebum that is normal and its presence does not indicate there is an infection or that you are caring for your vulva improperly. Itching, redness, and a thick discharge could indicate an infection. Many things can irritate the vulva, causing some of these symptoms. Ideally, water and air are the only things that should come on contact with your vulva. If you wouldn't put it in your mouth don't put it on your vulva or in your vagina.

To help determine if you have an infection please see the page about Vaginitis. You can then explain to your mother if you have the symptoms that indicate an infection is present. You can show her the page and discuss your symptoms with her.

Your first gynecological exam can be very intimidating. Most of the apprehension comes from not knowing what to expect and  having to allow someone to see "down there." Most women have never witnessed a gynecological exam so they don't know what is done or what to expect. Make the doctor aware of the fact that this is your first exam and feel free to ask questions beforehand. Let them know you are nervous and want to talk first. If you are a virgin let them know, they can use a small speculum. Once you are laying on the exam table and your feet are in the stirrups you may be too embarrassed to ask questions so it is best to ask questions beforehand. It is okay to tell them to stop, and to make them explain things during the exam itself too. It should not hurt, if it does, stop them. You can go through the exam alone or have a parent with you.

Here are some links to information on a woman's first gynecological exam.

http://www.estronaut.com/a/first_gynecological_exam.htm

http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/Handouts/gyneexam/gyneexam.html

http://www.scarleteen.com/pink/gyne.html

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1293.html

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