Question: I'm a high school girl, and I've been having strange dreams as of late. It has been with my best girlfriend, and sometimes contain strong sexual content. I know I have a crush on her, but is this going too far?
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Answer I am very happy to hear you enjoy the website.
This is a common experience for teens and women. If you read through the shared masturbation experiences you will find many share the same fantasies.
What does it mean? Perhaps nothing. The fact that you do have a crush on her indicates that you could be sexually curious, bi-sexual, or a lesbian. Finding another girl attractive, as in pretty, or being curious about her body does not in of themselves mean anything significant. You may be curious about her body, breasts and genitals, and thinking about them may sexually arouse you, because they are sexual objects in our society. If there were no barrier to you touching and exploring them, thinking about doing so probably would not be sexually arousing.
If you are close friends and share emotional intimacy, open discussion of personal subjects, this could lead to some degree of physical intimacy. It may be she is the only person, male or female, who at this time in your life you have a good close relationship with so she has become the subject of your sexual desire. You are horny and she is the only person who meets your criteria for being a sexual partner, her anatomy may not be a factor in this, she is simply a warm body.
Your sexual orientation is often dependent on your needs at any given time and who is available to fulfill them, it may not be written in stone as many claim. Something to consider is if her physical presence sexually arouses you, and if you are physically attracted to her. Do you feel compelled to touch her and be near her? Does your vagina lubricate and your heart rate increase when she is near?
All these factors combined could indicate you are sexually attracted to her and want to explore sex with her, to be friends and lovers. Some would say if these are all true you are a lesbian, but others like myself recommend that you no take on a label, as this restricts your options. It may be best to say, "At the moment I have a female partner," rather than saying you are a bisexual or lesbian. I am aware of women who identified as heterosexual or lesbian only to later find they were attracted to a person outside their chosen sexual orientation, which can be very problematic. You are young and exploring, so keep your options open.
The problem is, you do not know her feelings for you; this situation likely applies to all your male and female friends. It is certainly more complex given social views on lesbianism. I know in many social groups today, it is considered okay for female teens to identify as bisexual, so this may not present a problem for you. You have to consider if the risks are worth the benefits. Either way you risk emotional pain, but it is worse if you are not true to yourself.
You can ask her about how she feels about other teens who engage in sexual activities together. You can say, "I heard a rumor at school that two girls were seen kissing." to judge her reaction, but even then she may react the way she believes she is expected to. You may also be able to tell by her willingness to touch and kiss you, but this could be misleading; she may think casual touching and hugging between girls is okay but not intentional touching for sexual pleasure. The line between physical intimacy and sex can be pretty blurry.
The challenges you are facing are common to all teens, and is why adolescence is often a painful experience. We all make mistakes, the key is to learn and grown from them.
I hope this helps, but I know my advice may raise more questions than answers.