Question #1: First off, my name is Trisha and I am 14 and I found your website through Glamour magazine, and I just love it. Its educated me in so many different ways!  I have two questions, one of which will be in this e-mail, and I'll send the other one in a different e-mail.

Ok, you say its good to masturbate, all over your site, because it lets you become more at one with yourself, well when I masturbate, I get absolutely no pleasure whatsoever out of it, but when my boyfriend fingers me I get the most intense and multiple orgasms ever. In fact, I'm only orgasmic with him doing it to me, I've fingered myself very many times, and it's just not pleasurable, it doesn't hurt or anything, its just like I have no feeling whatsoever.

Question #2: When my boyfriend fingers me, and he does it totally right by playing with my clit for a while making sure its nice and wet with my juices, and then going in and out of my vagina, I feel absolutely nothing when he plays with my clit, and I don't think he does it wrong because even when I rub my clit, with indirect and direct stimulation, I don't feel anything, nothing whatsoever, the only way I get orgasms is by his stimulating my g-spot, and when he does that I get multiple very intense orgasms that last for as long as he keeps doing it. When I finger myself, I find no enjoyment out of it, I think its because I can't reach my g-spot, but shouldn't I get at least some sort of stimulation from rubbing or playing with my clit, even if I don't orgasm, shouldn't I get some sort of enjoyment out of it, please help me. Am I normal?

Answer: Congratulations on having the courage to explore your sexuality.

Your two questions are related so I will answer them together.

The majority of women do find their clitoris is the most sensitive area of their body to sexual stimulation, but there are other women who find another area or spot is. If you happen to be more sensitive to G-Spot stimulation than clitoral stimulation, you are perfectly normal and not alone. If your clitoris is not sensitive, this may be normal for you.

Some women have a hidden clitoris, or clitoral adhesions, that do not allow for the exposure and direct stimulation of the clitoral glans. Adhesions may also prevent the hood from caressing and gently stimulating the clitoral glans when it is moved about. This subject is addressed on the page about Clitoral Adhesions.

Given your age, I am not sure if your testosterone level, the hormone that controls desire and influences clitoral sensitivity, has reached its adult level. Your body may not be fully developed yet, and likely will not be for at least another two years. Something that indicates your level of testosterone is your level of sexual desire, how often you think about sex and experience sexual arousal. If you experience desire, you testosterone level has likely increased during puberty to some degree.

Many women and teens are disconnected from their vulva as they were not permitted to touch and explore it when younger. What may help you is getting some lubricant and a hand mirror. With the lights on, undress, place the mirror so you can clearly see your vulva. Apply the lubricant and slowly start to explore, caress, and massage your vulva. Locate your clitoris, and do the same with that. Do not expect wonderful things at first. Try to do this several times a week for 15-20 minutes, even if you do not find it pleasurable. Try to connect with your body. Look at the point you are touching, with the mirror, and think about this point and what the touch feels like. Then caress this spot and think about how it feels. While doing this, and once you are familiar with your vulva and clitoris, start thinking about sex and fantasize about something sexual, like your boyfriend stimulating you to orgasm. Get your brain in the mood for sex, if your brain is not in the mood for sex, your clitoris may not be anymore sensitive than your arm. Try to get yourself aroused, wet, prior to touching your vulva and clitoris through fantasy.

If you have a look around the house you will likely find something you can insert vaginally to stimulate your G-Spot. Ensure it will not break, does not have sharp edges, and is clean. Your local children's toy store will also likely have something that will work, if you use your imagination.