Question: I am deeply in love but I have a hard time getting sexually aroused with my boyfriend. He is not the most physically attractive a woman could ask for and I hope that is not what is keeping me from getting turned on. I don't know if it is because he does not take the time to fully stimulate me with foreplay or what. Whenever we do decide to be intimate I have to watch a porno or read a racy story to get aroused. Is this normal and is there something I can do or something he should study to change this outcome. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man but I don't want to end up sexually unhappy. Except for not being able to arouse me he does get the job done. Please help!

Answer: It sounds like you have a problem common to many women, failing to recognize the role and importance of sexual desire in a sexual relationship. This often occurs because society does not recognize the existence and support the role of female sexual desire in a relationship. It is not uncommon for women to seek fulfillment of their emotional needs while forgetting or ignoring their physical needs, as they are not supposed to have them. If you are not sexually attracted to a person, you may be good friends, you will not be good lovers. Even love cannot overcome this barrier. If a person does not sexually arouse you, prior to initiating sex, you should not engage in sex with them. While a friendship may develop into a sexual relationship, this is not always the case. I can only recommend that you seek out a partner that sexually arouses you, while trying to remain friends with your current partner. Sometimes, love is not enough.