Question 1: I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and have had several sex partners before. I am not sure if I am having an orgasm during sex or not. I know what one is because when I masturbate I am sure I can give myself one easily through total clitoral stimulation. Often, when I have sex with my boyfriend, especially when he enters me from behind, I have really intense feelings in my vaginal area, almost to where it's too much, the muscles often tighten, and I think it might be an orgasm. I was wondering if there are two types of orgasms, like a clitoral and a vaginal that a woman can have? Please help me, this is really bugging me. I want to be able to have an orgasm with him, and if I'm not already, I want to try too.

Answer 1: Women do have orgasms that feel different from one another, and that involve different areas of the body. They are often classified as clitoral, vaginal, uterine, or full body orgasms.

My guess is that you are not having an orgasm during intercourse. Rear entry vaginal penetration often results in stimulation of the G-Spot, which can result in very intense sensations without orgasm occurring.

I suggest you reach down and caress your clitoris; this is something many women must do if they are experience orgasm during intercourse.

Question 2: Thank you so much for your help, I often do that, but my hand gets in the way of thrusting, still I will try it more often, and see what other results may happen.

Answer 2: It is best to caress your vulva when your are on top and controlling the thrusting. You do not actually need to thrust; you can just rock your hips and stimulate your partner's penis by tightening and relaxing your pelvic muscles. This may also work when you are on your hands and knees, and your partner is behind you. Have them hold still while you control things. Go slow and have fun, but do not try too hard to have an orgasm.

You can also try using a vibrator on your clitoris during intercourse. The small battery operated Pocket Rocket works well for this, as it is small yet powerful. Another option is the larger electric wand shaped Hitachi Magic Wand

If after intercourse you have not had an orgasm, but want to, be sure to let your partner know. Do not be afraid to masturbate in front of your partner. Just let them know you want to have an orgasm, and are going to masturbate. If they are not happy with the idea, it is their problem, not yours. You have the right to your pleasure too.

Question 3: Thank you for replying back. Actually, I am never really comfortable on top; it's not because of my body or anything. I just look down at him and can see that he isn't enjoying it as much as when he is doing the work, and that makes me nervous. When he is doing the thrusting, he is a lot faster. I can't move that fast in my position. I would really like to be able to take control though, and he says he wants me to. Can you recommend any moves, or techniques that you know work well? I know I can't be the only one that has these problems.

Answer 3: He may not be bored, he may just be relaxed. He may not want to be the one who is in control or doing all the work, all the time. Take the time to discuss with him your feelings and get feedback from him. You need to accept that your sexual pleasure is just as important as his. He may enjoy it more when you relax and start to enjoy yourself. If need be, close your eyes and fantasize. I suspect he will be highly turned on if you are able to masturbate to orgasm while he watches.

I would be more concerned with learning to have an orgasm, with his penis inside your vagina, while you caress your clitoris, than I would be with trying to thrusts quickly. Have your orgasm first, then roll over and allow him to have his. When you are on top, it is okay to just sit there and relax while masturbating to orgasm. When you are able to do this, then start rocking your hips, etc. Learn the basics then go from there.

You may want to watch each other masturbate to orgasm, then move onto intercourse during which you sit on top and masturbate. Don't attempt to many "new" activities at the same time.


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