Question: My girlfriend and I have had many attempts at having sex [intercourse], but I can't seem to get my penis in.

She seems to think that she is too small for my penis. While we spend forever on foreplay, I still can't get it in. We both are different heights, I'm 6'1 and she is 4'9 could that be a reason?

Also, why is it we both want sex with each other so badly but when it comes to it, the above problem makes me get nervous so when I start poking around, I get myself so worked up believing that I'm never going to get it in that I lose my erection?

Answer: You will likely find your question is already answered in the Q&A section. There are several questions and answers that address this topic.

The best thing you can do is, agree not to attempt intercourse again for at least six months. That will take the pressure off both of you and you can explore other ways of giving each other pleasure.

If the only reason you have sex is to have intercourse, and you know it probably will not happen, you are setting yourself up for failure. The clinical term for what you personally are experiencing is "performance anxiety." This simply means, if you believe you cannot, you wont.

Get her mind and body ready for intercourse before you attempt it again. You will do more harm than good to both of you if you keep trying and do not succeed. What may be a physical problem on her part may become an emotional one that is much harder to resolve.

If intercourse is the main reason you have sex, you will likely find sex is not as great as you expect. You both can have very enjoyable sex without having intercourse. If you cannot enjoy sex without having intercourse, you probably will not find intercourse all that wonderful either, especially her.

Her body size is not likely the problem physically. Even if you were that same height as her, your penis would likely be the same size and I am sure your penis is much smaller than a baby's head. Mentally though it may be a different story. If she is afraid your penis is going to hurt her, her body will prevent you from inserting your penis by tightening her pelvic muscles.

She needs to be in control and on top while using tons of lubrication. Neither of you should be worried about hurting her. If she is in control, you are much less likely to do that. If she feels pain that means something is wrong and she needs to stop. Pain is bad.

Please read through the Q&A, Intercourse, and Virginity sections of the website.