Question: I had my first baby 5 months ago. It was a wonderfully quick labor and natural birth with no pain relief. The most painful part of the whole delivery was when the midwife (accidentally) pushed up hard on my clitoris during the pushing phase and I screamed out in pain. I don't think she had any idea what I screamed for! It only happened for a couple of seconds and I felt no pain afterwards. Anyway, since then my clitoris has lost a lot of sensitivity. I always used to have wonderful orgasms, both when I masturabated and also during oral sex or had my husband stimulate me. Now, I feel all the strong feelings of physical arousal and enjoy the penetrative sex but my clitoris just doesn't respond. It has lost it's delicous sensitivity and my orgasms are almost non-existant. I feel that I have got there physically (sometimes) but I don't feel the clitoral waves of pleasure or the contractions that I used to feel. I am terrified that the midwife has damaged some nerve endings and my sexual pleasure has been impaired for good. I haven't had much sex since the birth as I didn't even feel like anything for the first 6 weeks and then my husband was deployed with the military for 2.5 months during which time I only masturabated twice (which again felt very unsatisfactory). We have had sex probably around 10 times in 5 months. The other fact I should mention is that I am a nursing mother. I am hoping that just maybe my clitoris has gone into hibernation while I am nursing or that my hormones have affected it temporarily. Please tell me what you think is wrong and if there is anything I can do. If you do think I could have suffered nerve damage, please tell me if there is help available or what I should do next.

Answer: During pregnancy and nursing your body produces less testosterone. Your clitoris is sensitive to testosterone. Both its size and sensitivity are influenced by it. The female body likely produces less testosterone during pregnancy and nursing because you are already pregnant or caring for a child. Your body does not want you to be having sex or getting pregnant again since that would be bad for your health, and the baby's.

In some cases, the body does not start producing testosterone at the same levels as it did prior to pregnancy and breast-feeding. The cause of this is not know. If things do not return to normal after you stop nursing then have your doctor test your testosterone level. They may need to prescribe testosterone in pill and/or cream form. Please search this website to find additional information on the affect testosterone has on female sexuality.

Nursing is very important to you and your baby, I encourage you to continue to nurse even though it may have negatively affected your sexuality. Prior to formula, women nursed their babies for two to three years. Because of social pressures and mores babies are lucky if they are allowed to nurse for more than six weeks. This is likely having a negative affect on the relationship between mother and child.

While the midwife may have bruised your clitoris I would not expect what she did to have caused permanent injury. The nerves were not cut. I would expect your clitoris to repair itself. If the midwife performed an episiotomy that is another story as the blood and nerve supply passes through the lower pelvis prior to reaching the clitoris. Doctors do not fully understand where the nerves and blood vessels are and may inadvertently damage them. I suspect that your body will or has healed fully despite what occurred.

The change in your orgasms in likely the result of your pelvic muscles being weakened by the delivery. Please start doing Kegel exercises. You will find information about them on this website, you can use the search engine to find it. I also link to websites that have information about Kegels, on the Links page.

Another things to consider, the more you have sex, the more you usually want sex. Which equates to, use it or loose it. Accepting the fact that your body simply may be saying no to sex right now, your lack of sexual activity may be a contributing factor. Schedule time for you to masturbate and for your partner to massage your vulva, clitoris, and vagina. When you take a shower or bathe, caress your vulva for a few minutes. The purpose of this is not to produce orgasm, but rather, to get blood flowing to your genitals. If orgasm occurs, it should happen accidentally.

If you find you do not desire or enjoy intercourse then it is perfectly acceptable not to engage in this activity. While I do not recommend that you avoid sex all together, it is okay to tell your husband to masturbate. You are caring for a new baby, you probably cannot be a sexual dynamo at the same time.

Having a new baby in the home will impact your life in many ways, including sexually. It is up to you and your partner as to whether those changes are positive or negative.

The changes in your sexuality right now are normal, but they should not be permanent. If things do not return to the way they were, make your doctor aware of your concerns and do not allow them to dismiss them. If they do, find a new doctor that is concerned about your sexuality.