Question: Hello. I really like your website. It has been helpful but I haven't found anything specifically on female premature orgasm. My problem is that I get aroused and "cum" within one minute. However, my "orgasm" isn't pleasurable at all. It is premature and very upsetting because after this my body is not excited at all anymore and it is hard to get excited again. I barely have a chance to get my clothes off before I get "turned off". I am simply looking for anyone who has heard of this problem or can point me in some direction. Thank you so much,
Answer: I believe I have heard of the same or a similar experience. It may be mentioned in the Q&A section but I couldn't find it when I looked. I have answered thousands of questions over the years, and many of those answers never made it to the website.
You do not mention if the orgasm is triggered by mental or physical stimulation.
If physical stimulation triggers the orgasm it is possible your body is responding faster than your brain. You may be having a reflex orgasm rather than a full body orgasm. Kind of like when the doctor hits your knee with his little rubber hammer and your leg flings up.
When you feel the urge to have an orgasm relax, take some deep breaths, and then fantasize or in some way provide mental sexual stimulation. You may even have to slow things down by counting to say 100.
If your orgasm is associated with anxiety or negative physical tension you may have to address that before your sexual needs. Are you comfortable being sexual and masturbating, or do you feel ashamed or guilty? Your orgasm may not be sexual as much anxiety drive. You have to feel comfortable about yourself and your sexuality for sex to be fun, alone and with a partner. Are you a stressed or relaxed person?
Explore less intense forms of physical stimulation, like Kegel exercises. Provide subtle stimulation by tightening and relaxing your pelvic muscles, which will cause you clitoris to move about too. Leave your cloths on and rub against a pillow. Remember to breath, hum, talk sexy, or sing to make sure you aren't holding your breath.
You may need to take a cold shower to chill out and slow things down so you go at things more slowly. You usually only hear this mentioned with guys, but sometimes girls may need it too.
Men normally have a refractory period and while women are not suppose too, I have seen some evidence that some do. This basically means you need down time between orgasms. Men on average need 20 minutes between ejaculation and their next erection. After your first orgasm jump in the shower and take a warm or hot shower and work on relaxing, again taking deep breaths. When you feel relaxed start the mental and then the physical stimulation. You may be expecting too much after the quickie, and need to allow your body to respond at a more normal rate, which means it could take 20-60 minutes of stimulation for you to experience orgasm. You may need to apply tons of lubricant to your vulva and clitoris to reduce their sensitivity or the amount of friction and stimulation.
Question: I don't want to have intercourse with my boyfriend due to risk of pregnancy, so we have oral sex and give each other hand jobs. We have discussed having intercourse and both agree that while we would both like to, the risk of pregnancy-despite any combination of contraceptive- is not worth it at this point in our lives. We've been dating for a year, and unfortunately our sexual life is getting kind of boring. We've talked about it and we agree that we would like to try something new but we feel like our only other option is intercourse, which is not an option. (We discussed anal sex as well and agreed neither of us wanted to partake in that.) I looked around on your site and all I found was information on oral sex, anal sex, masturbation (which we both do), and intercourse. Does this mean there are no other options? I'm also not quite sure how to search for new ideas. Do you have any advice on other options or even where to look for new ideas?
Answer: Engaging in vaginal intercourse would only relieve the monotony for a short time. Most long term relationships experience what you are experiencing, even if they engage in intercourse. If you were a lesbian couple you wouldn't have the option of intercourse, at least with a organic penis, so penile/vaginal intercourse isn't required for there to be a healthy, exciting, long term sexual relationship. You might consider role playing where the actually physical sexual activities become less important. What roles can you play where it is okay not to engage in vaginal intercourse? You can also engage in simulated intercourse, i.e. outercourse; he can rub his penis between your breasts, thighs, or buttocks, and you can rub your vulva against his body. Rubbing your genitals together would include some risk of conception unless you were using some form of birth control. You can also change the locations that you have sex; different rooms, in your car, at the park, etc. Have you tried sex toys? You might explore what are called fetishes. S&M and B&D, activities often have nothing to do with sex but with control; and not necessarily pain. How about filming each other? Play teacher and student, or cheerleader and jock, etc.
Remember the brain is the largest sexual organ!
Question: While my girlfriend claims that she finds me sexually attractive and swears that sex would be fulfilling, she fantasizes about getting forced to sex by my best friend during masturbation.
She says that she finds it especially arousing that he isn't allowed to have extramarital sex by religion, which I don't really get. What's really hurting me is that she actually gets turned on by the imagination that she's cheating me with him while I'm in the same place.
Interestingly, my girlfriend claims that the guy doesn't look any better than I do, although she says he's good-looking. (I don't know if she's telling the truth though; at least he looks much manlier in my opinion).
I really don't know what to think. If she's saying that sex feels great, why doesn't she just think about the two of us having sex while masturbating? She also talked about having occasional fantasies involving me, but most of the time that's not the case.Hopefully you can help me understand her, and also offer some advice on how I could become more attractive to her, which I feel is the main reason she's not thinking about me when masturbating. Maybe it could help to make sex more of a "rape" situation, as it is in her fantasies?
Answer: I don't have the necessary knowledge to explain all the whys, but I can say that what your girlfriend is experiencing is both common and normal.
It sounds like you are insecure with yourself or your relationship with her. She is always going to find other guys and/or girls attractive and may fantasize about having sex with them. Don't you find other girls attractive or fantasize about sex with them? You never fantasize about sex with anyone but her?
Her fantasizing about someone she can't have sex with is part of what make the fantasy so appealing, it is taboo. She can have sex with you so it is less of a fantasy and taboo. Since she can't experience sex within him then he is a "safe" person to explore the idea of sex with, as it can't actually happed even if she wanted to, and was tempted by the fantasy or physical attraction. She may also want for him to find her so sexually attractive that he goes against his strong religious believes, or isn't willing to take no for an answer, i.e. rape her. She wants to be found desirable by more than one man, and why shouldn't she.Acting out a rape fantasy must be discussed thoroughly beforehand, and a safe word needs to be agreed upon.
Information on exploring rape fantasies can be found on the following websites:
http://www.answers.com/topic/rape-fantasy
http://www.skotos.net/articles/medium11.shtml
http://www.thebulletin.com/archives/2002/february/exploringfantasies.htm
http://www.takeninhand.com/node/249
http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/2006/09/rape_scenes.html
Question Part 1: I'm a 25 year old female, The problem is that I do lubricate when I´m with someone, but a don't feel anything, I know that I´m excited because I´m wet, only because of that, when I have intercourse some times I don´t feel anything, some times I do feel and I´m able to have an orgasm. I have research about it and in Spanish is called trastorno de la excitacion sexual femenina, I´ve read it has to do with the subjective perception of excitation... I don´t know what to do... I remember how it feels because I use to feel it when I was a child, when I watched on T.V. a kiss or something like that, but now I don´t feel anything in any situation... Even when I masturbate, I feel something only when I touch myself, I know that feeling excited is one of the nice parts sex... I want to feel it again. Thanks
Answer Part 1: I am guessing that you do not feel the blood engorgement or muscular tension associated with sexual arousal.
Have you seen the information linked to below?
qa_6.htm#4
nerves.htm
These articles may not provide an answer but at least you know what is involved in the process.
Have you started taking any medication since childhood, including prescription birth control? You may be experiencing a lot more stress now and your mind and body are overwhelmed and unable to respond to sexual stimulus.
Please feel free to write again if this information isn't of help. Perhaps after reading the referenced information you can provide more insight into your situation.
Question Part 2: Hello!!! Thanks for replying!!! I just went through the info you sent me. Well, you see, I have researched before about myself, my body and what I was supposed to be feeling, I even have watched my vulva while masturbating trying to figure out if my body was properly working... And everything seems to be ok with my body, every day I´m more convinced it has to do with my mind, but I just don´t get it... none one in my family has ever told me not to have sex before marrying, or not to masturbate, or anything like that, I was told to learn as much as I could about myself so I could have a healthy life... so... I don´t understand, ok, growing up in Mexico was hard because my parents where really open minded while society wasn´t, but I don´t think this is so important... besides, I´m older now and society doesn´t matter that much anymore... I even moved to Europe for three years, where society is way more open and nothing...
Answering your question, no I haven´t take any weird medicine, I have always been very healthy, just some flues and stuff like that as a child.
This whole thing started since my first sexual encounter, I didn´t feel anything and I knew I was supposed to be feeling something because I already knew some stuff back then.
As I told you before, I have had different men in my life, so I´m pretty sure is not about my lover, I´m also able to get pleasure and even have an orgasm! But I would love to enjoy something more than penetration, how about enjoying forced play, that most be awesome!!
I have looked for some psychological therapy but nothing, there is no sex specialist here (at least in the city I live in or around) which leaves me completely alone.
I would appreciate some info about psychological help on line, maybe books, or something, I speak Spanish, English and French so it could be anything, any page, or author... I don´t want to be left alone anymore. Thanks.Answer Part 2: Perhaps the problem isn't that you aren't feeling anything but rather less than you expect. Your mind may be tuning out the subtle sensations it is experiencing. You are expecting a roaring waterfall and instead experience a drip drip.
In the article for pre-orgasmic women I describe how women can make a connection with their body. Perhaps you need to lock yourself in a dark room and gently stroke and stimulate different areas of your body. Rub two fingers together and see how much pressure it takes for you to feel the touching and friction. Then stimulate your arms, legs, and then finally explore your nipples and vulva. When you do feel something at each location explore that sensation for several minutes. What does it "feel like?" Repeat this exercise two to three times per week. The intent is not to produce sexual sensation so much as sensation period, and to train your mind to be aware of it. This must happen before the sexual aspect can be explored.
I presume they sell warming sexual lubricants in Mexico like the ones they sell here in the United States. You might apply some to your vulva while a dark room and relax and see if you feel anything when your vulva isn't being touched, and then when it is. Try directing the warm air from a hair dryer at your vulva and see if you feel anything, with and without the warming lubricant. Don't place the hair dryer too close to your vulva though, or OUCH.Something else you can try is working out at a gym or engaging in other forms of physical exercise to explore the feeling associated with using your muscles and the tension and strain that develops when you use them. The idea being to develop a better awareness of your body in general, not just in a sexual context.
To explore muscular tension in the area of your vulva and pelvis trying inserting into your vagina and/or anus one or more fingers or an object large enough that you start to feel resistance and tension, a gentle stretching feeling. You want your vagina or anus to feel full, which may require the insertion of only a single lubricated finger. Now concentrate on that feeling for several minutes in a dark and quite room. What does it feel like? Now squeeze your pelvic muscles and explore the resulting sensations.
To explore the sensations associated with blood engorgement you may want to explore vacuum pumping of your nipples, clitoris, and vulva. Increase the amount of blood engorgement, turn off the lights in a quiet room, and then explore these areas of your body when they are engorged. Lay back and concentrate on the area you have increased the blood flow to, and then touch those area and explore what it feels like.
Here is more information on female vacuum pumping:
http://alt.com/intgroups/aa149/tyadmin/acprint_admin_article.html
http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/clitpumping
http://www.tinynibbles.com/clitsuckers.html
We carry female pumping supplies in our online store for those who are interested.
I hope this information is of help.
Question: I am wondering if I have orgasms or not. I don't masturbate very often, but my boyfriend often masturbates me. What I feel, is a gradual increase of pleasure, and I want him to touch me in just the right places and in just the right ways, and when he does, the experience builds and builds...until suddenly it's too much and it hurts, even when he's being very gentle. At this point, I do feel a sense of "release," and my clitoris becomes very very sensitive, and usually can very gently, and fairly quickly, be brought back to how good it was before. Sometimes, I have felt my whole body feel like it's getting pushed into the floor, with pins and needles all over, but that hasn't really happened recently, and the only time it has happened when my clitoris was being stimulated was on one occasion when I was masturbating. Is any of this an orgasm? I never feel my vagina contracting or anything like that (and I can tense the muscles in my vagina, so I think I would feel it if they did), and I wouldn't describe any of it as explosive at all, but it does feel good, mainly before the "end". What do you think??
Answer: My guess is that you are not experiencing orgasm. Orgasms don't hurt.
Someone recently posted the following on our discussion forum:
"Well, here's what I feel when I have an orgasm. First things first, there isn't any pain.
The first thing is a little warm fuzzy feeling in my clitoris that starts to get stronger and I also get a lot of tension in my muscles all over my body and tend to go rigid and tense up as the build up happens and then the warm fuzzy feeling just sort of comes to a point where it feels like you can't remain rigid and still any longer because it becomes too intense...you sort of go over the edge and you feel contractions of the muscles and your body starts to thrust about, especially the pelvic area. When that has stopped and I lay still, I can often feel weak muscles contractions inside my vagina for a minute or more afterwards before they stop. They don't hurt or anything."
The pins and needles feeling might be related to anxiety. See the information linked to below:
qa_9.htm#1
My quick advise is to get a good clitoral vibrator, Hitachi Magic Wand or Pocket Rocket, and go masturbate in a quite place while ensuring you don't hold your breath. You also need to focus your brain on something sexual, not what your body is or isn't experiencing. So watch or read some erotica while you masturbate.
If sexual stimulation doesn't feel pleasurable then something is wrong, not necessarily with you but with the sexual stimulation being provided.
Question: Recently, about a month ago, I had some moments of urge to pee, maybe due to cystitis or something else. Then, sometimes, when I needed to keep it, I made some pressure on the vulvar area with my hand for some seconds. Since then, I started to feel some pain on my clitoris when is pressured, as with some clothes, or making pressure with my finger. It makes difficult and painful to have sex or even masturbate.
I feel it as if the pain is centered on certain points, mainly as if I had a little thorn on the basis, the "root" of clitoris.
It seemed to be somewhat getting better, as the few days I felt painful even contact with clothes, and later I was getting able to masturbate carefully, but yesterday I touched it thinking it was right yet, and found it is not.Now it's got worse, as the first days again. This is really disturbing me, as I'm a person that usually likes to enjoy sex frecuently, and now I just can't.
I must add that something similar has happened to me before, but then it wasn't so intense and got better itself with time... Now, time doesn't seem to be of any help.
I read your site carefully and I'm not still sure whether it could be nerve injury or not, as I feel sensations just as always, or even more sensitive, just have this painful point on it.
Is it maybe just a hurt? How can I cure this?Answer: I am afraid I don't know the cause of your symptoms.
Things to consider are:
-Some of your pelvic muscles anchor at your clitoris. If they are constricted they may pull on or compress the clitoris.
-The clitoris is quite large when you consider the internal parts, so be sure that you are describing the location of the pain correctly. You may need to print out a diagram, indicate the location of the pain on it, and give this to a doctor.
-A yeast infection can involve only the clitoris
-Smegma can become trapped under the clitoral hood and cause pain, especially if you cannot retract your clitoral hood fully.
- The female prostate gland can cause some of the symptoms you describe.
Here are links to additional information:
clit01.jpg
anatom3.jpg
anat_indx.htm
adhesio.htm
vaginitis.htm
ejacula.htm
Question: I am male and have inquired with my girlfriend about her ideas of anal play/sex. She is disgusted by the idea of it. Any time I get near her anus with a finger she hates the idea. The other night when she was near orgasm, weeks after our "talk", I was performing cunnilingus and penetrating her vagina with two fingers. I ever so gently withdrew my fingers and stroked her bottom. Then I got closer to her anus and felt her anus, it was clenching and releasing. I put my finger to it and made a circular motion gently with my wrist, she began to "buck" her hips towards me. She moved down the bed inserting my finger in her anus, I was careful not to move my finger in fear of hurting her. She liked the feeling as my finger was inserted about 1 inch, when she reached climax it was more intense than I have ever seen.
So the question is, why is she so against the idea, but in the heat of foreplay, why did she enjoy it so much? I did the same a week later as she was masturbating during our foreplay but it was rejected by pulling her legs together. Why might she have liked it one time and hated it another? Should I investigate this again or stop all together?
Answer: She likely believes she isn't suppose to want anal sex, let alone enjoy it. She may also be fearful of the idea of having a penis inserted into her anus. If she believes this is your ultimate goal then she wont want anal stimulation either.
When she is highly aroused she may be less logical in her thinking and open to anal touch.
I have found women to be very surprised by how enjoyable anal stimulation can be. I introduced them to it through full body massage. During a long massage I would slowly allow my hands to come near their anal region for moments at a time, teasing. When they showed a positive response I would increase the amount of stimulation slightly. There is no attempt at penetration, only stimulating the buttocks, inner thighs, and then the anal region. This progression of more intense anal stimulation may have occurred during several massage experiences, not one quickie massage. I am referring to two hour massages here, not your usual sexual encounter.
When your girlfriend did permit the anal stimulation and penetration you were stimulating her clitoris and vagina at the same time and this may have increased her arousal and the anal stimulation wasn't a shock, compared to when you reached directly for her anus when she was masturbating. If you had started at her thigh and very slowly worked your way towards her anus, perhaps she would have reacted differently, but you also interrupted her masturbation technique, and touching her vulva may have had the same affect on her. You may have penetrated her personal space too quickly. Guys are often too direct in their efforts.
So go slow and get her aroused and don't invade her anal region aggressively. When performing cunnilingus rest your hand or wrist against her anal region. Allow her to become accustomed to the touch before going further. Continue to stimulate her vulva and vagina rather than focusing on her anus, keep her distracted. Don't make her feel as though your whole goal it to get your finger and then your penis into her anus, but rather to give her pleasure. Caress her anus, do not try to penetrate it, unless of course she indicates she wants you to. If she likes the external stimulation she is more likely to want some internal stimulation, a single finger, rather than an erect penis.
Even though she may have permitted and sought out anal penetration that one time that doesn't mean she doesn't feel really guilty about it now.
Question: First congragulation for your web page. It's really informative and helpful for us.
I've two questions about my sexuality:Can I try to have casual sex again, if in the past I experienced this and got so much pain because those guys didn't care about me?
In short I explain more details: I lost my virginity when I was 28 years old. It happened that late, because I was very religous. My first intercourse wasn't a good experience at all, because I was very nave, I hardly know that guy and he was verbally abusive. After that I had intercourse with a guy who didn't treat me well neither. But I thought I was in love with him, despite the fact he wanted just sex.
This happened four years ago. Since my rebelliousness, I didn't have sex again, just some caress with some guys.
With both guys my intercouse were painful (I always felt pain when guys penetrated me). Only once I experienced pleasure with this and it was when I think I was extremely excited and he didn't use a condom. But suddenly I got tense and lost my excitation. Of course I've never experienced an orgasm with those guys.
I masturbate myself a lot and have a lot of pleasure and orgasms (only stimulating my clitoris). I'd like to have this pleasure with a boyfriend, but I can't find one still. So I thought to try it again, to go out and find a nice guy to have sex with, just that. In fact I feel that my body asks for this, like love, but because this last thing is been so hard to find, I can find the other... The problem is that when I did this in the past, I felt so awful because those guys didn't care about me.
My second question is:If I decide to have casual sex, may the practice during masturbation with a vibrator help me to have painless sex?
I need your advice please. Thank you in advance,
Answer: There are many possible causes for the pain you experienced during your two experiences with vaginal intercourse. Please see the information linked to below:
virgin2.htm#pain1
virgin3.htm
loc_vag.htm
Given your religious background you may be attracted to "bad boys" and this may explain why they treated you badly. You might try finding a guy with values closer to your own, but religious guys can be abusive too. It is best to know more about your sexual partners before exploring sex with them. A friend makes a better lover than a stranger, even if there isn't an intense sexual attraction, but there needs to be sexual compatibility. Yes, it is best if the sight of a guy makes your clit throb, but you may also respond to their physical touch once you know them as friends and trust them. If you don't connect sexually then you simply aren't compatible lovers.
As mentioned on the pages about virginity and the first experience of vaginal intercourse linked to above, I recommend women prepare their body for intercourse by inserting objects into their vagina. Vibrators are best used on the clitoris, and fingers, dildos, and other suitable objects can be inserted vaginally.
Question: First of all, thank you for this wonderful website. I've been a loyal reader of this website for many years and never hesitate to recommend it to my female friends.
I am a 25 yr-old female virgin and am pretty traditional & conservative when coming to the issue of virginity and premarital sex. I would like to leave my first time to my husband, and I'm hoping to marry a man with a clean sexual history too. I would like to marry a virgin because first: he is more likely to be clean with no STDs, second: guys who choose to wait probably have greater chance of matching with me in terms of personal values and concepts, third: I value my first time very much and since I give him my first time, I hope I can be his first time too, I know this sounds childish as this shouldn't be a place to nag for fairness, but I can't help it. Over the years I've been trying to talk myself into being more open on this, but I still cannot get over with the thought of hoping my spouse to be a virgin. I also get worried seeing prevalence of early sex nowadays, that finding a virgin man with ages of late 20s to early 30s seems "impossible" now. What should I do? Continue finding a virgin spouse? Or should I go to some therapist to help "open myself up"?Answer: Based on your email address I presume you live in Taiwan. There are cultural differences to consider. In your culture it may be considered normal for women and men to be virgins at 25-35 years of age. I believe this to be true in several Asian countries. The information on my website reflects North American values more than those of other parts of the world.
Your decision not to engage in sex prior to marriage is based on logical choices. Are your expectations realistic? At least within American society STDs are extremely common, especially amongst college age men and women. The more sexual partners you have the greater the chances of contracting one. If you are both virgins then there is very little chance that either of you have one, if you have had "no" sexual contact with another person.
Are STDs any worse than other diseases spread from person to person? Influenza, the flu, can cause death, but we still go out into public and interact with people who may have it. The common cold while less dangerous still doesn't stop people from socializing. Most STDs are potentially more harmful to our reproductive system than the common cold, but curable with medication; though some lead to cancer later in life in untreated. One problem is that women often don't show symptoms to let them know they have one. One then should take greater care in trying to prevent the spread of STDs than they do the common cold, but many if not most people don't. HIV and AIDs can be spread in other ways than through sexual contact. Just because you and your partner are virgins doesn't automatically mean you are both STD free. To know if you and your partner are truly, or most likely, clean or disease free is to have medical test done, even if you are virgins.
Now, as long as you don't exchange body fluids you can't contract an STD, so some sexual activities are still possible. Safe sex is an option. You can engage in activities like phone sex, shared masturbation sessions, and outercourse. Oral sex with a condom or barrier is less safe but more safe than intercourse with a condom or barrier. If body fluids are exchanged then STD transmission is possible. Since condoms and dental dams don't cover the entire body they don't provide 100% protection.
Sex isn't dirty. Having sex, alone and with a partner, doesn't make you dirty or impure. If you see sexual activities as inherently unclean or demeaning that is a bad. If this is true, you wont be able to enjoy sex even if you are both virgins when you start out.Keep in mind that guys, and gals, can and do lie, or have the idea that some things don't count, like oral sex or sex with a woman they don't love, like a prostitute.
Can you over value your and his virginity? Yes, to a degree. Virginity is a spiritual attribute and as such it may be valued or it may not. Neither is necessarily wrong. Do other animals value their virginity? If he isn't a virgin does that automatically make him a bad or dirty person? You have to understand his motives. He may have been justified in having sex. For you, when you look in the mirror in the morning do you want to see a virgin or not? As long as you don't place yourself or your virginity on too high of a pedestal then it is okay to be a virgin. When the pedestal becomes too high because you are trying to avoid sex or a relationship then that is a problem.
Are you a bad person if you decide to have partnered sex for fun? Do you see non-virgins as less than you, as having lower morals? If so, then that is not a good or realistic believe to have, as sex isn't bad, even if people sometimes do it for the wrong or impure motives.
At twenty-five you should probably be a very sexual person even if you are a virgin. You should have had sex thousands of times with multiple partners, at least within the context of masturbation and fantasy. You should hopefully be a skilled and avid masturbator, as defined by your own level of sexual desire and need, and have an active sex life within the confines of your mind. If you aren't a sexual person now, or your future partner in the same context, then you may expect too much of the future.
Therapy isn't likely to help with moral or ethical issues. Either you believe something is right or wrong. Yes, there can be gray areas, but then people are often trying to sidestep the true value or question. Is it okay to kill some one or not? Is it okay to have sex or not? You have to believe what you believe. As a teenager and young adult your believes may part from that of your family, community, and religion to some small degree, but once you are an adult they are a little more rigidly held too. At this point, changing your believes may take the approval of those who installed them in you, or who you look up to. If you discuss the idea of sex outside of marriage with your parents or your religious leader and they condoned it then you may feel justified in doing so. Some, but not all, individuals have the self confidence to act on their own, but there are obvious risks in doing so, as you risk loosing friends, etc.
If you decide you want to be a sexual person but aren't then therapy may help you understand yourself and overcome challenges you confront. In the beginning it isn't necessary to pay someone for this, as you can learn a lot by reading about female sexuality and the experiences of others, as you have been doing by visiting my website.
I hope this information is of help.
Question: I have a little bit of an embaracing question. What does herpes usualy look like? I had a bad yeast infection not long ago and had to go see the doctor about it. While she was checking me out she asked me "Are you a virgin?" I told her no, she said to me "You might want to come in for a pap smear once this clears up." I don't know what she ment by that. I've never had a pap smear, I know I should but I'm not comfortable with ANYONE looking at my vulva, it took a mounths worth of uncurable yeast infection before I plucked up the courage. My vulva is exceptionly bumpy and sometimes gets pimple like things. Intercoarce often gives me a feeling like I'm being punched in the torso also. Can you give me a word of advice?
Answer: In regard to herpes please see the information linked to below:
http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm
http://www.medicinenet.com/genital_herpes_in_women/article.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex_virus
Photographs of lesion or blisters:
http://www.healthac.org/images/herpes.html
PAP smears are recommended for all sexually active women and her recommendation probably had nothing to do with the appearance of your vulva.
There are many causes of pain during intercourse, please see the information linked to below:
virgin2.htm#pain1
virgin3.htm
General hygiene is addressed on the following page:
hygiene.htm
