Question: Every time my husband tries oral sex on my clitoris I have to stop him within 3-4 minutes. Constant sucking on it is more than I can bear. I can't really explain the feeling. A little at a time feels good, but after so long it's like too much. Is there such a thing as an extra sensitive clitoris? My husband thinks its all in my head because he's never had this type problem happen with past relationships. Is there anything I can do to help over-come this problem?
Answer: I do not feel you have a problem as many women experience the same sensitivity. Your clitoris is a little bundle of nerves and many are extremely sensitive. When touched directly they cause pain not pleasure. It is something people do not realize or talk about. Tell your husband that all women are different and you are just the first he has met with a highly sensitive clitoris. You are perfectly normal; he just needs to adjust his expectations. The problem is not with you, it is with him.
Some things to try are:
- Leaving your panties on and have him stimulate you through them. Try panties of different fabrics.
- Get some plastic wrap, like the stuff you use in the kitchen, and cover your vulva with a single layer. Have him lick and suck you through this.
- You can buy dental dams, used as a barrier for people practicing safe sex, and cover your vulva with this. You can order them on-line. See the links page for links to these distributors.
- Ask him to only stimulate your pubic mound, inner and outer labia, your clitoral hood, but not the clitoral glans itself. Do not allow him to dictate what you should enjoy.
- Try learning to stay relaxed and breathe deeply, panting as taught in childbirth classes. This will take practice, so take baby steps and only expect baby steps. Do not torture yourself but see how long you can "learn" to enjoy intense stimulation. When you say stop, make sure he knows it means stop.