Question: My girlfriend and I are very much in love. We love each other a lot. She is the first girl I have ever been with. Well... we are waiting to have sex when we get married. However we do take part in oral sex and stuff like that. The question is, she has had oral sex and that stuff with 2 previous boyfriends (one serious, and one not serious), and I have never even been touched by another woman but her. I know she couldn't have foreseen that we would be serious and in love, and that I can't blame her for what she did with them. But I still feel like she cheated on me, or something like that. I just wish she never did that, and every time I tell her how I feel, it gets us no where. What should I do or say, and how should I handle it. Because it really bothers me.

Answer: While I understand your feelings, I do not believe they are appropriate. You need to accept her for who she is, and what she has done, not pretend or wish she was someone else. If you cannot accept her prior sexual experiences now, things will not likely get any better once you are married. If it is important for you to marry a woman who has not had sex with anyone else, you may want to reconsider marrying her.

You also need to ask yourself, why is it okay for you to have sexual contact with her prior to marriage, but it was not okay for her prior partners? Why is it okay for you but not her?

Virginity is a spiritual attribute, not a physical one. Your girlfriend is not denying you anything, as a result of having past sexual experiences. While male and female virginity is becoming more popular, chances are that the women you meet daily have already had sexual contact with one or more partners. This means if you are going to limit your prospective partners to only those who have never had sexual contact with anther person, your choices will be greatly reduced, especially as you become older.

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