Question: My girlfriend complains frequently of a burning inside of her vaginal opening during coitus (sex). This is not prevalent during the first couple of minutes, but builds up in intensity so that she eventually has to stop. It is very painful for her, because I can see her face and hear her whimpers. I would merely like to know what would cause this. In the beginning she is highly wet/lubricated and later on she may lose a bit, but it's still comfortable sliding in/out. Maybe not for her? Other than the possible lubrication issue, is there anything else? Also if it is the lubrication issue, what should I do to remedy that? KY Jelly?

Answer: If your girlfriend experiences pain please do not have intercourse with her until you discover the cause. What is a physical problem will become a psychological one and become harder to resolve.

I recommend you take the time to explore her vulva and vagina with your fingers. Lubricate her vulva, vagina, and your fingers with a water based lubricant like KY Jelly; use tons of it. Go slow and be very gentle. Stroke and caress, stimulate her clitoris. Look closely with the lights on. See if there are any areas inside her vagina that are sensitive or painful to touch. See how many fingers can you gently insert before she experiences discomfort, being very very gentle. See if you can insert three fingers without causing discomfort. Ask her to flex her pelvic muscles as if she wanted to stop the flow of urine from her bladder, and see if her vagina grasps your finger(s). Then tell her to relax. Practice doing this several times, each time you do this. Do this for a month or so before trying intercourse again. Take the pressure off her to have intercourse.

When you attempt intercourse again use plenty of lubricant. Prepare her vagina with your fingers first. Get her body warmed up. Have her get on top. You should lie perfectly still. Have her control the speed and direction of insertion. Once your penis is fully inserted, just have her rock back and forth gently. Have her caress her clitoris. Do not attempt pelvic thrusts. See if she can have an orgasm. The idea it to get her body accustomed to a penis being inside of her. Do not be alarmed if you are not able to maintain an erection. You can have your orgasm from another form of stimulation. When you get some practice, have her slowly move up and down on your penis, just short stokes at first. If she feels pain, have her stop. She should then make sure her pelvic muscles are fully relaxed. If they are relaxed and she still feels pain, she may have a medical problem that needs a doctor's attention.

Please read through the section on Virginity for more information.

Note: A visitor to the website mentioned experiencing pain during intercourse when she had a bladder infection. She advices women not to engage in sex until the infection had been cured, or the infection may not go away.