This section of the website has been created to allow women the opportunity to share their sexual experiences with others. They can disclose how they became aware of their sexuality, what they have learned about their sexuality, how they learned to enjoy it, and even hurdles they have had to conquer. Women can present their sexual histories if they so desire. This will allow women to learn from each other's experiences.
If you would like to share your own sexual experiences you can do so at DoubleClickHeaven.com.
Serena
First off, I would love to say that this site is incredible! It has opened my mind so much, I'm 16 going on 17 this year and have always felt like I was unaware of my body. My mom passed away when I was ten, and my dad has raised me and my brother (who is two years younger than me) on his own. Since the passing of mom, my dad has found a girlfriend, but her and I are not very close. We don't talk much, let alone talk about sex. I knew the basic mechanics of my body and sex, but after visiting this site I realized that I didn't know as much as I thought I did. So thank you so very much.
That being said, I'm a virgin, although I have had plenty of chances to lose it, I always stop for some reason. I've been very sexual all my life. I had my first boyfriend in kindergarten, and we 'dated' until fifth grade. People ask me how long my longest relationship was and I laugh and say "six years". I had my first kiss with him (closed mouth) and he was the first time I ever experienced touching in a romantic way (holding hands, hugging, just embracing each other in general).
When I was really young (7?) I discovered while showering with a detachable shower head, that spraying water 'down there' felt good. I did it a lot I don't remember exactly when I started masturbating, but I know I was very young. I didn't know what I was doing, but I felt guilty. I had no idea that what I was doing was related to sex, but my family put a very big stress on things like showering, changing, and using the toilet as very private things. It may be considered normal for a young kid to randomly pull his/her pants down in public, but I can assure you, I never did. I knew better, my parents made sure of that.
I had my first French kiss in sixth grade, the first time a guy ever touched me underneath my clothing was in ninth grade. My boyfriend at the time fingered me. I've had LOTS of boyfriends over my short sixteen year old life.
I've always liked men. I have a memory of when I was younger hanging out with my older cousin (much older, he was probably late twenties at the time, I was only about eight) and sitting on his lap. I felt something through his pants on my butt, I shifted my weight so that I was directly on it. I liked feeling this 'bump' up against me. He didn't, he moved me back to his thigh, I got mad and moved back, he then moved me again. We continued that over and over again until I was upset and got off his lap. I didn't understand why he didn't like me feeling his 'bump'.
When I was in seventh grade I found out that my best friend wasn't a virgin anymore, after awhile I lied and said I wasn't either, even though to this day, I still am. I dated the same guy for most of my freshman year, and he was very sexual. He was a virgin, but was very anxious to lose it, and often did inappropriate things to me at school, like randomly lift up my shirt, slide his hand up my skirt, one time he even unhooked my bra through my shirt during p.e. and my friend and I had to find a secluded place for her to help me put my bra back on and we got in trouble by our p.e teacher because he thought we were trying to ditch class! I was very uncomfortable with all these things and eventually broke up with him.
In my sophomore year I became completely smitten with a guy who was incredibly sexy and I thought I didn't stand a chance, imagine my surprise when he got my number from my friends and started calling me, and started paying attention to me at school (he was so cute, every time he talked to me he got really nervous and looked down a lot and moved his feet around in circles) people were excited (and jealous! ) when I started dating him. He would put his hands in my underwear and grab my butt, and would slide them around to the front and rest them on the inside of my hip bone. He never made me feel uncomfortable, he knew his limits. Only once did he ever try to venture down farther than my hips and I grabbed his hand and slid it back up, he instantly got the hint saying "ok, I know, I know". He expressed interest in having sex with me, but it never happened.
The first time I was ever fingered was by the boyfriend I had after him, and it was a huge surprise. We had only been dating for about a week. We went to the mall and got bored quick. We had run out of money and had made plans to stay there for another hour or so. We wandered off away from the mall towards the parking lots. We stopped in one and sat down on a curb. Before I knew it he was behind me, grabbing my breasts, kissing my neck, and unbuttoning my pants. That caught me by surprise. My thoughts started running wild. Is this going to go any further? Oh, I hope I'm smooth, I really hope I'm smooth and not prickly ( I shave ). How is this going to feel? Is it okay that were doing this, we've only been dating for a week!
But then he started, and he was amazingly good. All my worry melted away, and I just focused on the pleasure. That whole trip to the mall he must've fingered me ten times, and each time was incredible. I had never been touched like that before so the only thing that I had to compare it to was the way I touched myself, and he was probably as good as me. I remember asking him "why are you so good at that?" and he simply smirked.
He was the first guy I ever touched in that way, in between those ten times he pleasured me, I gave him a handjob. I was nervous and wasn't very good at first, but he told me what he liked and I did what he said. I enjoyed it. I loved how he would moan my name into my ear, and how when he told me to do something and I did, he would say "oh babe, that's so good". It lasted awhile because every so often he would tell me to stop, then he would calm down and ask me if I would go again. He was trying not to cum, even though he eventually did. All over my sweater. I'm just glad my dad didn't notice, I went home and threw it in the wash right away. He expresses many times how bad he wanted me, but it never happened.
I dated another guy after him who I felt like I had my closest sexual experiences with. Even though I never touched him. He was older than the other guys I've dated, he had a car and would pick me up and I spent a lot of time at his house, oddly enough my dad was ok with this, although if he had known what was going on, I doubt he would've been as cool as he was. Things with him happened somewhat fast, although he respected my wishes and was a perfect gentleman about everything. Everything happened fast, but it was cute. I felt absolutely no pressure, unlike with the other two guys before him.
We started things out small. We would lie on his bed and talk and eventually we would start tickling each other, these tickle sessions would end with one of us on top of the other (sometimes him, sometimes me), both of us panting and getting out our last giggles, and a sexual tension that was very obvious. We had plenty of this little sessions before one actually ended in a kiss, and like I said he was perfect. He asked my permission for him to kiss me, I said yes, and it wasn't even a passionate French kiss, it was an innocent little smooch that lasted a few seconds, but I liked it and it left me longing for more.
I'm not sure exactly how but one time our tickle routine ended with me on top of him, making out, and his hands going in my shirt. He took my shirt off and undid my bra, and just like that I was half naked in front of a guy for the first time. My heart was beating out of my chest. I'm pretty comfortable with my body as I'm not overweight, a lot of boys like me, and I have worn a bikini every summer since I was 11, I am pretty confident in my looks, but at this moment I felt like It didn't matter how hot I thought I was, all that mattered was how HE felt about what he was seeing.
He laid there and looked me over for a minute, then he started caressing me. Running his hands from my hips up my stomach, up the curves of my waist, to my breasts. I playfully patted my stomach and laughed, he did the same thing and laughed too. He told me I looked beautiful, I said thank you, and he kissed my stomach. He made me feel great about myself, and I was around him topless plenty of times after that and it just felt like the most natural thing, I felt like the most beautiful person on the planet the way he looked at me. It was so important to me that he made me feel that way because that was my first time ever being exposed like that to anyone.
He started fingering me on a regular basis, sadly he wasn't as good as the guy before him, but it was still nice. Me being topless and braless became a regular basis thing also, and he started sucking on my nipples pretty much every time. There was one day in particular that stood out from the rest, the reason why I feel I was closer with him than any other guy I've dated even though we never had sex and I never even touched or saw his penis.
One day we were on his bed and all the usual happened: talking, some cuddling, tickling, he ended up on top of me this time, we made out, he rolled over and pulled me up over him, we continued kissing, he took off my shirt and bra, sucked on my nipples, I felt his hard penis on my crotch, and then we were grinding on each other. He grabbed my hips and started grinding me into him, while he was thrusting keeping time with the way he moved me. He let go of my hips as I began to easily maneuver myself, and went back to my breasts, which he knew were sensitive for me. It all felt incredible.
I felt his penis grinding hard into me, and I suddenly felt the need to have it inside of me. A need I have never felt before, I've always figured sex felt great, but I didn't even really like it much when I put fingers in my vagina when I masturbated, so I didn't really understand this need I suddenly felt. All I know was I wanted him BAD. Then it happened, the feeling I've only ever been able to give myself. I had a powerful orgasm. So powerful in fact that I completely froze. Maybe I was in shock?
I'm not completely sure, but I did the exact opposite of when I bring myself to orgasm and I just froze and I thought I turned into Jello, I almost fell on him, I grabbed the back of his bed for support because I was just about to collapse on him. He looked at me wondering why I stopped until he saw the look on my face, then he grabbed my belt and started me up again. It was the best thing I've ever felt.
After I composed myself I started grinding him again, hoping to get that feeling again and hoping that this would end with him in me, and then his parents got home. He kept going for a little bit, then he grabbed my shirt and bra, put them back on me, kissed me, told me that I was amazing (even though I could've done something during my orgasm! I felt so stupid for just freezing, to this day I have no idea why I did that, but it was a major ego booster for me that the first guy I ever rode said that I was good) and then rolled me off of him and cuddled me, which was great, but I was still burning with that intense need to feel him in me.
"So I was good?" I asked him while cuddling. "You were great" he said back. Then he said "too bad we still had our clothes on". This made me insane. I really wanted him and he wanted me, this might sound whoreish but I didn't care that his parents were home, I didn't care about anything but me getting back on him and riding him for real this time. I said "soooo, why don't we?" "my parents are home" I just stared at him like 'and?' he laughed and said "can you honestly tell me that if my mom walked in during it wouldn't be awkward?" I thought about, and of course it would be awkward, but I didn't know how to turn off this need. I looked at him and said "I want it, really bad" he said he knew.
Hmph. Boys never have an off switch? Well this one did, and as soon as my on switch was in overdrive his was off. I pouted, he noticed and asked me what was wrong. I told him that I was upset because I really wanted to. He said that he did to and that he'd be kicking himself in the ass later because of it. I understood and decided that today was magical regardless. It was for the best any ways because about a minute and a half later his sister came into his room to give him something, she noticed us cuddling and it wasn't awkward, she just did what she needed to do and then left, but it probably would've been a lot different if we were doing something else...
I broke up with that guy, and that was the last thing we did together. It's a fond memory for me even though we didn't stay together. He was the first guy who saw me with my clothes off, he was the first guy to bring me to orgasm, and he was the first guy I ever actually even considered having sex with. Through it all he made me feel amazing about myself and my body and he was a really good boyfriend. I just realized that I wasn't as committed as I thought I was so I broke up with him, not fair to string somebody along when you don't have feelings for them anymore.
We stayed friends for a little while and then lost contact, this was a year ago, and I haven't talked to him since then. I'm glad we didn't end up having sex that day, yes my body really really wanted it, would I have regretted it, no probably not, but I broke up with him a week later because I realized that I didn't feel that much for him. I'm glad I had a chance to think about it, and even at the time I was kind of glad that his parents came home because I was a little scared of this new found desire and how it was controlling me, I felt like I didn't get a chance to think about it, I was just being ruled by my wants.
Ya know how people say a lot that guys think with their little head instead of their big one? That's what it felt like for me, this is going to sound bad, but it was like it didn't matter who it was, it was just that he had a penis and I wanted it. I love that I experienced so many firsts with him for the time that I was with him, but I'm even more happy that I figured out my feelings for him, and that there weren't really any. This still remains a good memory, and I am going to make sure that next time I get that close I really know my feelings for the person I am with.
Thank you so much for letting me share, I know I wrote a novel, maybe even a boring one, but that is the first time I have ever shared my feelings about all these things with someone and it feels great to do it =]
I consider myself sexually immature, though I have been married for 27 years, and have two children..I've only had consensual sex with one other man, before I even met my husband. I was raped at knife point by a family friend when I was 18....only three other people know about this.
I love, love, love oral sex!!!I love to put on a pair of silky sexy panaties, and I lay on my stomach, gently grinding against the mattress until my husband climbs into bed. When he goes down on me and start to softly flick his tongue on my silk covered crotch, it is heaven. He then slides his tongue under my panties, and when I feel his tongue in my already hot and juicy pussy, I begin to climax. As long as his tongue is in my pussy, I will climax over and over. I will go down on him, not something I like, but something I do because I know it makes him happy. I absolutely will not let him cum in my mouth. When we reach the point where he is ready to put his cock in me, I start to disassociate...too many memories of the rape. Over the years, though, I have become a rather proficient actress, and I'm sure my husband believes that intercourse is completely acceptable and satisfying for me. I would never think of telling him otherwise....he is so good to me, and I would hate to hurt his feelings.
Next to my husband eating my pussy, I get so much pleasure and happiness from fantasizing about another woman going down on me...I always picture s beautiful woman, a gentle woman, soft touch, soft lips, soft voice, wanting me so badly, telling me that I am good and special, and all kinds of things only a woman would say to another woman. I have no desire to go down on another woman...I only ache to be on the receiving end. Just thinking about it and my pussy throbs with desire and longing.
Now for the scary part of all this..My strict Catholic upbringing has left me with a very strong sense of guilt when I do anything I perceive might be wrong or immoral, which is basically almost everything I've described. Guilt leads to a need to punish myself...hence, the cutting. Sometimes I will cut on my arms, though usually on the insides of my thighs, and oftentimes, I put the knife inside my pussy and cut...this is the ultimate punishment for "dirty sex". My best friend, who is also my doctor, is aware that this has happened, though she has no idea as to the extent. Every time I do it, I tell myself that it will not happen again, but....
I've always been able to talk to my women friends more easily than my husband about everyday things, and I wish I could talk to tham about all of this. And I think my fantasies about a woman eating me out comes from my belief that a woman would talk to me about my clit, about my labia, reassure me that they are a beautiful, good, and an "o.k." thing...her focus , instead of being on the end goal of sex, would be about reaffirming my right to live as a sexual being.
Does anyone have any thought on any of this, and how does one "know" if another woman is interested in eating out another woman? I know for a fact, without any question, that this is not anything my best friend and my other close friends would ever consider.
Thanks for listening!
P.S. I don't know how to masturbate..I don't even know "where" my clit is. I have looked in a mirror, but when I touch what I think is my clit, I don't experience any "good" feelings.
Anonymous
I was about 9 when I first started masturbating. I had a friend that told me about the "spot" at a sleepover. It was never a physical thing between us, though one time we did use a mirror to examine ourselves and each other. We would finger ourselves in a closet, the same closet, for a few years, until I guess we outgrew it or our interest in boys increased. She also told me about the bath nozzle, with water running over my clit, which is a method I use today!
My first sexual experiences, other than with her, were when I was 11. I probably knew more about biology than most girls of my generation. My father and brother worked on a ranch, so I had pretty basic knowledge of biology. The owners of the ranch had a son that was 3 years older than me. I dunno, he was a kid to, and I initiated the whole thing, but I guess I still feel guilt about what happened that summer, but I really don't think it messed me up and it was probably a positive experience. I'm glad it ended when it did, because it could have led to something I wasn't physically and emotionally ready for.
Like I said, B and I lived on a ranch, and no other children lived close, so we ran around together a lot. Rode horses, went fishing, stuff like that. We went skinny-dipping a few times when we were younger, but it wasn't anything more than just being mischievous. It wasn't a sexual thing for either of us. He was my friend, and we were having fun.
When I was 11 I was very tall and skinny. I had a negative self-image. Also, I was self-conscious, because my boobs were growing. I dunno, other girls in my class had them, but I just felt I was too tall and skinny, and they just made me look funny.
Anyway, that summer I would go to with B, my father, and my brother to the hayfields. I would sit in the truck and read books while they were working. One day, I was with them and I was wearing a very loose pair of overalls, probably hand-me-downs from my brother (we were country folk, mind you). They had 2 buttons on each side. I laid back in the corner against the door, unbuttoned the side, and reached into my panties and started rubbing my clit. I was enjoying myself for a while, and then B drove up on his tractor. He was done for the day.
When he got off his tractor, I reached up and grabbed his balls. Actually, I hurt him. He got mad at me; I didn't know what I was doing. I did it a couple more times. He said "would you like that if I did it to you?" and I replied "you got 2 choices" and touched one of my boobs and my crotch. He rolled his eyes and went to the truck. I guess he had to think about it. He was always more reluctant than I was that summer. He was probably scared.
He got out and came up to me. He gently felt my boobs. I grabbed his balls again, and he got mad. He said "If you're gonna touch my dick and balls, do it so that it doesn't hurt me!" He took my hand and ran it gently from his lower crotch up, letting me feel his erection. He actually showed me where I could be rough and where to be gentle. Then his hands were all over me, and he was kissing the back of my neck. I was so tingly and I loved it.
It went along to a point where he was like "I will show you mine if you show me yours" and I agreed. But I backed out after I saw it. It scared me. I didn't know that teenage boys got bigger as they got older. I mean, I saw him before when we were skinny-dipping. I thought it was huge, but it was probably average for someone his age. He got so mad about that. I was intrigued by the shape. I also felt a little revulsion I guess. I hadn't seen an erection on a boy before. I wouldn't even look him in the eyes for the rest of the day.
We felt each other many more times that summer, each time going a little bit farther. We never had intercourse; I wasn't capable of it at that point. He actually got very good at masturbating me, and I learned that it's ok to tell someone what you like and don't like. And, he was got very stimulated visually (like most men). The first time I showed him my body nude, he went from soft to hard in like 5 seconds. His penis pointed straight out at me. It was completely amazing to me at that time. I really turned him on!
The last time we did anything like this we were in my bedroom, both of us completely nude. We were feeling each other and kissing. I was stroking his penis, and he was moaning and telling me how good it felt. He was running his finger between my lips and up to my clit. I was very wet, and it felt so good. Suddenly, he said "stop". I thought I did something wrong. He said "gotta go", dressed real fast and left. I thought I had done something wrong. He wouldn't tell me for a few days what happened, but he eventually told me that "you almost made me cum". I didn't know what that meant for a few days, I had to ask around.
After that, he wouldn't do anything with me, and I guess it's probably good. School started and he went to high school, so we didn't see each other that much until the next summer. We were still friends, but we never did anything sexual until he was in college, and we had a chance meeting, but that's another story.
I had no other opportunity to be with a boy until I was 16 and at least I knew a little more. The first time I had sex it hurt, but only emotionally. I can't say I didn't like it, I just didn't like how he treated me afterward, but I guess I wanted more than a "one night stand" as we called it back then.
That summer I got to know my body and I got to have fun with my friend. It could have ended up very badly, because I didn't know anything about birth control. But, for the most part I think it was a good experience.
Emma - Age 17
I do not know how long I have been masturbating for, but I can remember that when I was about four I used to have a bath with my sister- we are twins you see. One day we were sitting in the bath and we were splashing each other with water. She started to playfully kick me and suddenly she hit my clitoris. I got the most amazing feeling from that and so I asked her to rub me down there. I did not know what I was doing at the time but I knew that it felt really good.
Over the next few years I forgot about the feeling that it had given me until I was about fourteen. I touched my clit whilst washing and suddenly got the most amazing feeling. I have tried fingering myself and tried to stick objects up my vagina but that did not work for me... I did not come or achieve an orgasm until I found the wonders of an electric toothbrush. I turned the back of the head of the toothbrush onto my finger and noticed that it vibrated and I wondered what it felt like on my clit. When I first put it on my clit, it felt so wonderful and within two minutes i was panting and moaning...
I am and have always been single ( part of the reason for this is that I attend an all Girl's school) but am happy this way at the second. I am enjoying life to the full and see a boy in my life as a rare bonus. I do fantasise about being fucked and having a penis in my mouth now and then.
:)
