Back to Part
2
Sexual
Arousal & Orgasm - Subject Index
The clitoris probably
holds the key to female ejaculation for most women. If the
clitoris is not stimulated a woman is less likely to become
highly aroused. If she is not highly aroused her prostate
may not fill with increased amounts of fluid. If her prostate
is not swollen she may not have a G-Spot. If her clitoris
is not stimulated she is less likely to experience orgasm
and the rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles that
expel and release the ejaculate. So quite simply before you
can go exploring for the G-Spot you must master clitoral
stimulation beforehand. There are women who are orgasmic
and ejaculate when their G-Spot or vagina alone is stimulated,
but the majority need direct clitoral stimulation if they
are to experience orgasm.
Now that you know
the location of the female prostate you will want to know
how to stimulate it. The most versatile tools to use are
your fingers. They are firm but flexible and have feeling
and provide feedback. For solo explorers fingers have their
limitations, as they may not be long enough and can tire
relatively quickly. Plus, if one hand is stimulating your
clitoris it limits access to your vagina with your other
hand. So in addition to fingers, dildos and/or vibrators
are usually required for finding and stimulating the G-Spot.
(I will refer to both vibrators and dildos as dildos for
the sake of convenience) Notice I used the plural 'dildos'
not the singular 'dildo', as there is a chance you
may have to try several different dildos to find the best
one for you.
How do you pick
out a dildo for G-Spot stimulation? Trial and error. The
dildos that do have a good success rate are those that are
curved near the tip, called G-Spot stimulators, and penis
shaped dildos with a prominent ridge at the junction of the
glans and shaft. Many women find hard plastic or glass dildos
work best. Others find that makeshift dildos work great;
such things as cucumbers, brush handles, mirror handles,
etc. Some prefer a slim dildo that they direct at a specific
area within their vagina but others prefer their vagina to
be filled and stretched to the maximum by a large dildo.
If you are going to buy a dildo to use for G-Spot stimulation
be prepared to buy and try a couple different styles. Any
woman who is seriously considering using dildos needs to
be aware that she will most likely have a collection of favorites
versus one special one. As a woman's mood and needs change
so will her dildo needs. While women often start out with
one many soon find they have a drawer full of them. Some
women prize their collections.
Since the physical
act of female urination is so similar to female ejaculation
many women have found erotic enjoyment in urinating during
sex, solo and with a partner. Women seeking to learn to ejaculate
may find themselves squirting liquid from their bladder rather
ejaculating fluid from their prostate. This is because both
urination and ejaculation require a woman to be able to surrender
control and relax during orgasm. If you keep your bladder
sphincter closed and tighten your pelvic muscles you cannot
release liquid from your bladder or ejaculate. Women seeking
to ejaculate are advised to push out when the urge to urinate
or ejaculate comes over them at the point of orgasm. Doing
this gives your body permission to ejaculate, but it also
gives your body permission to release fluid from your bladder.
You have no control over which occurs. You will just be aware
of the intense physical sensations that occur. The sensations
of both may be pleasant and indistinguishable. Hence learning
to release liquid from your bladder at the point of orgasm
may help a woman learn to ejaculate.
Learning to release
liquid from your bladder at the point of orgasm is likely
to be easier when alone than when a partner is present. You
will probably find it easier to relax, and you wont be as
concerned about the resulting wetness. Doing this in the
bathtub has some advantages. First you do not have to worry
about the wetness, second soaking in warm water will help
relax you, and third cleanup is a snap. Drink a couple glasses
of water a short while before starting; allow your bladder
to fill. It does not need to feel full, but you do not want
it to be empty either. Lie back in the tub, or lay on several
towels on your bed. Start to masturbate. Caress your clitoris.
Slipping your fingers or a dildo into your vagina may feel
nice. You do not need to necessarily move them back and forth
inside your vagina only provide a feeling of pressure inside
your vagina. Allow the sexual buildup to occur slowly. Practice
tightening and relaxing your pelvic muscles, commonly called Kegel exercises.
Think about the
act of urinating, of letting go. Allowing your bladder to
fill will result in you feeling the need to urinate. The
closer you are to the point of orgasm the stronger the urge
to empty your bladder is likely to become. Hold back on your
orgasm until you feel you cannot hold the contents of your
bladder a second longer. At the point of orgasm press out
and relax your pelvic muscles, welcome the feeling of the
liquid escaping from your bladder. The stronger the force
behind the liquid, the greater the sensations are likely
to be. So push and try to squirt liquid from your bladder.
It takes practice to be able to let go spontaneously, since
you have been conditioned to maintain strict control over
your urination habits. It may also help to vocalize the release,
make some noise. Intentionally crying out will help with
the release. Scream
"YES."
Moving on to ejaculation
only requires a couple slight changes in technique. Empty
your bladder first; you will want to let go without a full
bladder producing the pressure or urge. The urge should still
develop, just not be the result of a full bladder. The urge
to ejaculate may not occur without there being stimulation
of your prostate or urethra. This is likely to require the
use of a dildo if you are alone. As you massage your clitoris,
using your fingers or a dildo stimulate your urethra by massaging
the top of your vagina; using only light pressure at first.
Massage the full length of your urethra, from the opening
of your vagina back into your vagina a couple inches. Keep
up the clitoral massage. Try different pressures and strokes.
Massaging the urethral meatus may feel pleasant. Stimulating
your urethra may cause you to feel the need to release liquid
from your bladder and this is desired. Do not fight the urge,
go with the flow, literally. Relax and breathe deeply.
If you find a spot
that is highly sensitive you may want to concentrate solely
on it, but you may find it is too sensitive to stimulate
directly. If your G-Spot is highly sensitive you may find
you are only able to tolerate its stimulation when you are
very close to orgasm, when your pain threshold has increased.
Keep massaging your clitoris and urethra. Continue to the
point of orgasm. A slow build up with lots of teasing may
help produce the greatest urge and strongest orgasm. When
orgasm occurs relax your bladder and press out as if urinating.
If you ejaculate you will likely feel a new and strong sensation,
if not, you will still experience a strong orgasm, so nothing
is lost. You may not be aware of any increased wetness until
after the orgasm has subsided. Being able to ejaculate may
take practice even if you are able to squirt liquid from
your bladder during orgasm. It is not known whether all women
can ejaculate so you just have to experiment. In any event
it should be a pleasurable experience.
A woman's partner
can bring her to an orgasm that includes ejaculation. If
a woman already knows she is capable of ejaculating she should
let her partner know, not pray that it will not happen again.
She should discuss the increased wetness that occurs with
her partner; at least prepare them for it. Hopefully they
will see your ejaculations as desirable and erotic. If they
do not, reeducating them about female fluids and ejaculation
may persuade them to at least accept the ejaculations as
normal even if they do not like the associated wetness.
There is perhaps
one big advantage to having a partner stimulate you to orgasm
when you are trying to ejaculate, that is because they will
not stop the stimulation unless you tell them too. If you
are masturbating and you start to feel uncomfortable, out
of control, you will likely stop immediately. This could
prevent you from experiencing orgasm and ejaculation. With
a partner you can agree beforehand that they will not stop,
even if you say, "stop." (Doing this requires using
a "safe word" that indicates, "Stop!" for
real. This is a word you are not likely to say accidentally
during sex, without thinking about it.) If you find you pull
away you can ask that they hold or follow you so you cannot
move away from the stimulation. Of course you should only
do these things if you really trust your partner, as they
need to be forceful without going to far.
How do you stimulate
your partner's prostate? Your hands are excellent tools to
use. The best way to stimulate the inside of their vagina,
along the upper wall, is to create a hook with your index
finger. Imagine you want to signal to someone standing across
the room that you want them to come toward you. You turn
your hand palm up and signal with your index finger by making
a hook, curling it up and straightening it repeatedly. You
can do the same thing with two fingers inside the vagina.
Massaging the upper wall of the vagina, from the opening
back inside two inches. Start out with a very light touch.
Press your fingers up and toward the front, pointing toward
the pubic bone, or clitoris. Use the urethral opening as
a guide. Use a generous amount of lubrication even if she
is dripping wet.
Start out by getting
her aroused with manual and/or oral clitoral stimulation.
Continue the clitoral stimulation as you massage her prostate.
Ask your partner if there is a specific spot or area that
produces intense or enjoyable sensations when you massage
it, her G-Spot. As you sense her getting closer to orgasm
apply a firmer touch, if she enjoys it. Maintain a constant
and steady rhythm. Follow through, continue the massage up
through her orgasm. Then switch to a very light caressing
touch as she comes down from her orgasm. If she experiences
multiple orgasms her orgasms and ejaculations may become
more intense, and the amount of ejaculation may increase.
If she orgasms with your fingers inside her vagina her vaginal
muscles may squeeze them very tightly, do not pull out but
rather press in gently.
You can also stimulate
your partner to ejaculation using a dildo. This requires
more verbal communication, as you cannot feel exactly what
the dildo is doing. She needs to let you know what feels
good, or bad. Some women may like for the tip of the dildo
to be pointed at their urethra, others may prefer a full
feeling. The stretching and pressure created by large dildos
or an entire hand may stimulate the urethra enough to cause
an ejaculation even if that is not the intent.
A woman may also
ejaculate during intercourse, with a penis or a dildo in
a harness. What seems to work the best are positions that
result in the penis or dildo stimulating the upper wall of
the vagina. Like when a woman's partner kneels between her
knees when she is on her hands and knees, or when she is
on top controlling the direction and force of the thrusting.
Some women may ejaculate during intercourse without even
trying, while others may find it a challenge. It is more
likely if she already ejaculates frequently during manual
massage. Practice makes perfect.
Men and women have
a prostate gland, and both can be stimulated through manual
massage, using fingers and other devices. The male prostate
is a walnut sized organ located at the base of the bladder
whereas the female prostate is a collection of ducts and
glands that surround their urethra, and as stated above,
both produce prostatic fluid. The male prostate is primarily
accessible through the anus, but the female prostate is accessible
through the anus, vagina, and in some cases the vestibule.
Prostate massage
is basically the same for men and women. Prostate massage
may result in the spontaneous release of fluid from the male
and female prostate. A medical
article mentions that in addition to the spontaneous
release of fluid, "palpation" results
in the release of fluid from the prostate of some women,
meaning orgasm isn't required to produce this result. The
resources linked to below describe prostate massage for men,
but the principles described work equally well for women.
Perhaps if men are used as a reference, the female prostate
and its stimulation will be more intuitive, as the existence
of the male prostate isn't questioned, and is a more concrete
concept for us all.
Couples may want
to explore both male and female prostate massage, as then
each can relate to some of the sensations experienced by
the other, and perhaps as a result, learn better technique;
what is appropriate and what isn't. The article about Anal
Sex will assist couples choosing to do this.
Video Clip:
Jaiya:
Prostate Massage
Articles:
Sacred
Spot Massage
Wikipedia:
Prostate Massage
Prostatitis
Prostate Massage or Drainage
Step
By Step Directions for Milking the Prostate
Some authors, linked to below, describe
using prostate massage to empty the male prostate of its
stored fluids without orgasm occurring. In some examples
of power
exchange, men are not permitted the pleasures of orgasm,
and it is believed that if the fluid stored in the prostate
isn't emptied on a regular basis, nocturnal
emissions (wet dreams) and spontaneous ejaculations are
more likely; it may simply play into the idea of being totally
controlled by another person. Given that the prostate gland
in men and women is supplied by different
nerves than the penis, clitoris, and outer third of the
vagina, this implies that women too may release the contents
of their prostate during prostate massage without orgasm
occurring, but this doesn't necessarily mean pleasure is
totally absent. Clitoral and prostate focused stimulation
may each result in a unique sexual experience. It also means
women may want to explore their prostate or G-Spot with a
desire to experience something other than orgasm, perhaps
female ejaculation, or other forms of pleasure; cervical
stimulation is another non-clitoral possibility.
This will likely require an investment
of time, but should nevertheless be a relaxing and pleasurable
experience. Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation & the
G-Spot, mentions in her book and videos that learning
to ejaculate could take up to a year, as it may take repetition
for the mind-body connection to form. It is a learning process
for the mind and body rather than being a reflex response,
though some postulate it is a reflex response at birth that
is unlearned or blocked during childhood.
Prostate Milking (Adult
Websites):
Prostate
Milking
Chastity
UK's information: Prostate Information and Milking
Chastitylifestyle.com:
Prostate Massage - Milking
Unfortunately,
there can be some possible negative side effects associated
with massaging the urethra. The urethra is highly sensitive
and is easily irritated. Even normal intercourse can irritate
a woman's urethra resulting in painful urination and infection.
This is especially true of virgins and women with tense pelvic
muscles, as they are too tight and there is too much friction
between their vagina and the thrusting penis or dildo. Intentionally
stimulating the urethra increases the chances of there being
irritation and infection. To help prevent infections and
reduce the chances of irritation a woman should drink lots
of water and urinate just before and right after urethral
stimulation, or sex in general if you are prone to urinary
tract infections. Just release a little bit of liquid from
your bladder before sex if you are trying things with a full
bladder. They also recommend women drink cranberry juice,
or take a cranberry supplement available at health food stores,
as its acidic level helps to ward off the bacteria that cause
infections. If you experience irritation, painful urination,
or infection, try using less pressure when massaging or stimulating
the urethra. The urethra may become accustomed to the stimulation
with time, but do not torture yourself or inflict multiple
infections. Have fun but do not hurt yourself.
If you ejaculate
there may be a small amount of liquid expelled or there could
be a lot. If you are intentionally squirting liquid from
your bladder or ejaculate repeatedly there may be a liquid
everywhere. Since you usually sleep where you have sex female
ejaculation can present a logistical problem. If you only
ejaculate a small amount simply keeping a couple towels near
the bed may be the solution. If you gush then towels may
not be enough. Having a plastic cover on the mattress and
extra sheets may do the trick, though changing the sheets
and cleaning up afterwards may not be the way you want to
relax after sex. You can buy the disposable bed pads hospitals
use, as they are absorbent and have a plastic backing. They
are sometimes sold with incontinence supplies at your local
store too. You can try having sex in the tub or shower or
having a second bed or an air mattress to have sex on. For
women who ejaculate every time, regardless of whether they
want too, cleanup can be bothersome at times, and does take
some getting use too. Just try to keep a positive attitude
and be prepared with extra towels and sheets. A supportive
partner always helps.
I hate to be the
barer of bad news but chances are the women seen ejaculating
in mainstream adult movies are likely releasing liquid from
their bladder rather than ejaculating. They fake their ejaculations
just as they fake their orgasms. They are intentionally squirting
liquid from their bladder to simulate orgasm and true female
ejaculation, or rapidly expelling liquid they place inside
their vagina. The proof of this is the shear volume and/or
the white color of the liquid they expel. Enjoy mainstream
ejaculation videos but keep in the back of your mind that
it is all fantasy.
The main source
for the information presented above is the article The
Female Prostate: History, Functional Morphology and Sexology
Implications. By Zaviacic M., Zaviacic T. Ablin R.J.,
Breza J., Holoman K. The full article in PDF format can be
found here. The
article is presented in English beginning on page 7.
"Women ejaculate, too
"There's more than
one way to make a wet spot - in fact, there's a whole camp
of doctors who believe that all women ejaculate when they
have an orgasm. In one study from Florida State University
in Tallahassee, 82 percent of women said they experienced
a release of fluid at the moment of orgasm. Haven't noticed
this yourself? "Since most women are lying on their
backs during sex and the amount of fluid is so small [about
a teaspoon], it sometimes doesn't come out," explains
Beverly Whipple, professor at Rutgers University and president
of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors
and Therapists. "But research has demonstrated that
all women ejaculate a substance through the urethra that
is not urine.""
New Scientist magazine:
28 May 2009
Everything
You Always Wanted to Know About Female Ejaculation But Where
Afraid to Ask
20 February 2008
Ultrasound
nails location of the elusive G spot
E-mail from site visitor:
Hello,
First of all,
I would like to say that this is a great site, full of very
usefull information.
But the main point
of this message is about female ejaculation. It seems like
it is something "new", and doctors, etc. are still
trying to decide wether it exists or not.
The thing is that
I heve been reading Marquis de Sade's "Philosophy in
the bedroom" and it seems that in the 18th century they
new certainly that women ejaculate.
Here are some
excerpts of the third dialog in that play:
"DOLMANCE: Well then, Eugénie, you observe that
after a more or less prolonged pollution, the seminal glands
swell, enlarge, and finally exhale a liquid whose release
hurls the woman into the most intense rapture. This is known
as discharging. When it pleases your good friend here, I'll
show you, but in a more energetic and more imperious manner,
how the same operation occurs in a man."
[...]
"EUGENIE: I am dead, exhausted! but I beg you to explain
two words you pronounced and which I do not understand. First
of all, what does womb signify?
MADAME DE SAINT-ANGE:
'Tis a kind of vessel much resembling a bottle whose neck
embraces the male's member, and which receives the fuck produced
in the woman by glandular seepage and in the man by the ejaculation
we will exhibit for you; and of the commingling of these
liquors is born the germ whereof result now boys, now girls.
EUGENIE: Oh, I
see; this definition simultaneously explains the word fuck
whose meaning I did not thoroughly grasp until now. And is
the union of the seeds necessary to the formation of the
fetus?
MADAME DE SAINT-ANGE:
Assuredly; although it is proven that the fetus owes its
existence only to the man's sperm, this latter, by itself,
unmixed with the woman's, would come to naught. But that
which we women furnish has a merely elaborative function;
it does not create, it furthers creation without being its
cause. Indeed, there are several contemporary naturalists
who claim it is useless; whence the moralists, always guided
by science's discoveries, have decided - and the conclusion
has a degree of plausibility - that, such being the case,
the child born of the father's blood owes filial tenderness
to him alone, an assertion not without its appealing qualities
and one which, even though a woman, I should not be inclined
to contest."
[...]
"MADAME DE SAINT-ANGE, swooning: [...] How I love to
play the whore when my sperm flows this way![...]"
Extracted from: http://www.sin.org/tales/Marquis_de_Sade--Philosophy_in_the_Bedroom.pdf
Well, it looks pretty obvious that in the 18th century they
knew that women ejaculate, although they didn't know very
well how babys are made.
Anyway, I hope you keep adding great content to this great
site. Thank you
Best regards
Paul
Continued in Part
4
Sexual
Arousal & Orgasm - Subject Index
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